100% Eat - Jack in the Box Tiny Tacos & Loaded Tiny Tacos
Episode Date: February 4, 2020In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Jack in the Box Tiny Tacos & Loaded Tiny Tacos so you know if it's worth eating. The also talk about the #FaceJamChallenge, Sonic the He...dgehog, and restraint. Sponsored by DoorDash. Download the DoorDash app and use code FACEJAM for $5 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it, you probably do.
Thanks to DoorDash for making this show possible.
I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my very good co-host, Jordan.
The compliments crackle sweers. Jordan, how are you?
Just very good, huh?
Okay, well, that's the most you'll ever get.
You sound normal.
Thank you.
You know, I tried something different last week, and there was some feedback, and people
said, I don't like it when he's got a cold.
So I went, cut it.
Cut the cold.
Got rid of it.
Smart.
We say last week a lot.
Last fortnight.
I know.
It always feels like last week.
It's hard.
It's because we tend to record these like right after
like the episode comes out. Yeah.
So like we just listened to it when it came out
and it's like, yeah, that was last week.
Yeah, that's it. Yes, I agree.
Cool, thanks. I agree with what you said. It's true. It's a true statement.
Eric's here too. He's over there
giggling. I'm here.
This might be the only show that I work on
that I go back and listen to.
Why would you ever listen to anything else? That's all I'm saying. I'll be honest. This is the the only show that I work on that I go back and listen to. Why would you ever listen to anything else?
That's all I'm saying.
I'll be honest.
This is the only useful show.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, nothing else is good.
What's going on over there?
Hey, man, you all right?
Oh, my God.
We didn't even talk about you yet, and he's slamming things in the background.
It's been a minute and 23 seconds.
He's got a big head after last week.
Look at what you did.
He got talked about.
He had a thing, and now he's over here just
banging around in the background.
Notice me. Notice me.
There's no way a microphone
picked that up.
I hope it did.
You're just a regular Grackle.
You just come in and fuck shit up.
Grackle fight.
There can only be one. They're vying for space now. I'm a good Grackle. You just come in and fuck shit up. Grackle fight! A grackle fight! There can only be one.
They're vying for space now.
I'm a good grackle.
Oh my god.
On today's
episode, Jordan and I
eat the Jack in the Box
tiny tacos and
loaded tiny tacos format.
I think you'd
learn and stop putting it on there but you refused to
cut it off so i refused to stop saying it it's a never-ending battle eric
we'll dance forever
even in the afterlife
shall we
shall we format oh man it's a good format uh yeah tiny tacos went to the jack-in-the-box
apparently this is part of a sonic the hedgehog movie promotion yeah i'll be honest there was
nothing there yeah nothing in the store nope it's all on social media when they talk about
it but not in the store yeah we so we we chose the tiny tacos because it just seemed like something
that was like i'll be honest silly i just thought they were cute yeah you know there's like cute
little bite-sized tacos you guys pop them in suck them down you know gurgle them up do whatever you
want do whatever you want with them you know they're your tiny them up. Do whatever you want. Do whatever you want with them. Sure. They're your tiny tacos.
Once you buy them, you can put them wherever.
Yeah.
You know?
Have it your way.
You got options.
They're so small, you can squeeze them in anywhere.
You want to, like, shove a couple up, go through the airport?
They might not know.
We don't know.
They're tiny.
You're allowed to bring food through security, just so you know.
Ah, some food.
Tiny tacos.
Tiny tacos.
Not allowed.
Well, I mean, listen, if it's inside you, you can bring anything you want.
I think last time I was at the airport, I heard on the overhead speaker,
they were like, the Transportation Security Administration says no tiny tacos allowed through security.
Are you serious?
They're boxing you out?
I think I heard that, yeah.
They knew about it.
Okay, shoot.
But we chose the tiny tacos.
And then I think it was yesterday.
Yesterday, yeah.
Eric essentially busted in.
This is like, you know, through text conversation.
But I felt him bust in.
He was like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Yeah, he was just like, you gotta see this.
And it was like the tiny tacos plastered with Sonic promotions from the movie.
And we all met it with confusion.
Of like, one, his thing is rings and chili dogs
that's what he eats two boy did sonic miss this boat they have chili dogs they have their name
is sonic they got blue what more do you want pay this man yep pay this little cartoon freak did Jack in the Box just pay more money
I mean who knows
maybe Sonic just had the hubris
of like eh we'll get free promotion anyway
like we don't have to pay you
people will see Sonic the movie they'll think of chili dogs
they'll come to us
it's an Instagram post that says
supersonic speed means you can take snack breaks
while you speed through the world
what?
Sonic's got a new food obsession tiny tacos and then so there's some hashtags on there hashtag sonic loves tiny tacos
yeah that's that's not been proven anywhere also you don't have to read it like i was gonna say
did you did you do a sonic the hedgehog voice i don't know what that's what he sounds like right
nah he's cooler than that did he write the copy for the Instagram post? It was Sonic related. Come on.
Do you think in the new movie, they like changed it so much? I hope Jack in the Box appears in this.
Yes.
Like in the movie, he's like powered by tiny tacos.
He doesn't say like chili dogs.
He's like, oh, these tacos are small.
I love them.
I'll be honest.
I don't think it's going to come up.
No, you don't even think it's going to come up?
I don't think he's going to eat tiny tacos.
This really does seem shoehorned.
A last minute deal type of thing.
I don't know.
Well, here's what I think.
We start a protest and make them reanimate it again.
Oh, add the tiny tacos.
Every shot, he's holding tiny tacos.
Every shot, he's holding a tiny taco.
If he's doing stuff with his two arms,
animate a third arm where he continues to hold the tacos.
Yes, it always needs to be held.
It cannot be gesticulated with.
There's the one shot from the first trailer
where all those missiles are coming at him and he's running around.
Just replace all those with tacos.
And instead of knocking them away or dodging them, he's just eating them all.
He's got a super fast metabolism.
He can eat like a million of them.
Get rid of the joke where he goes, uh, meow.
He goes, uh, I love tacos.
And then it cuts back to Cyclops
and he's like, regular tacos?
And then he goes, tiny tacos. What are you laughing about?
It cuts back to Cyclops.
Yeah, that's who's there.
Cyclops says regular.
Oh, do you mean regular tacos?
Well, he didn't say tiny tacos.
So if his line was like, I love tacos.
Then Cyclops' question would be.
Well, yeah, because there's a big banner for
for Jack in the Box
Tiny Tacos
behind him
and he thinks that's weird
that he specifically
mentioned tacos
and not the tiny tacos
and he looks at it
and he goes
oh you like regular tacos
and he's like
well no
a tiny taco
oh so for that shot
he's wearing the Cyclops
for sure
yeah
it's just like
it's a joke
if you get it
we're like
he's in like
another movie
he's in like
Spencer's Gifts.
And he's like, these look cool.
And he puts them on.
And then people get a laugh.
All the four-year-olds in the audience, they get it.
They're like, oh, from that 2000 movie.
I'm an X3 guy.
Oh, yeah.
I loved X3 when it started and he was incinerated.
Five minutes into the film.
And I was sitting in the theater going, I don't think this is going to be good.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
Uh-oh, I'm worried about this.
That happens and you just go, uh-oh.
Well, he was the main character.
Yeah, was.
What happened to that guy?
Oh, here's the professor.
He'll save the day.
Oh, shit, she killed him too.
Uh-oh.
Stop, stop this woman.
Oh, don't worry, it's cool.
They all got rid of their powers.
They took a drug.
All your favorite stuff from X-Men when they're regular people.
Yeah, dude.
Cool.
You know when you saw the first X-Men, it's like that opening shot, and you're like, I
hope they all get regular.
I really hope everything works out for them, and they can get a job at a bank.
Yeah.
I'm bored.
Be normal, people.
Anyway, that's enough about Sonic and their free
promotion they didn't pay us
they needed it too
I hadn't even heard anyone mention the movie
up to this point so they're desperate
Jack in the Box
yay or nay in general
Jack in the Box is like not one I go to
very often i also again it's kind
of like to me like it's it's not on the usual route there's not like a ton of them um but i
enjoy the occasional jack-in-the-box i find i usually get jack-in-the-box if i'm like going
somewhere far because you're more likely to find them like if i'm traveling to like see uh like my
wife's family or something it's like it's like a three-hour drive so i got
like plenty of places and that's usually when the places i go to less will come up like oh jack in
the box that pointy-headed freak yeah i'll check that out and it's like a totally he's like hey
what's up like that's the guy's voice in the commercials which is even more bizarre you think
he should sound like some sort of freak clown thing yeah And he's got regular human hands and he's wearing a suit.
It's all very creepy.
He's married with a family.
He's married to a regular woman.
A regular woman, but all his kids have that head.
And sometimes a hat.
Imagine those coming out of her.
Well, they're probably like the size of those antenna balls.
Those antenna balls are just little jack babies.
They were born with the head And they grew into it
So she pushed those all through
She passed them
It was like a forced c-section
They just come out
She starts screaming like aliens
And they just cut around
And they've had three kids
What do you usually get?
Because I don't think I've ever had
I've never had
You've mentioned you've had tacos from there before
i've never had a taco from from jack in the box so i imagine my go-to if i if i'm going to a like
a fast food burger restaurant just the burger i've never been before or like often it's usually
cheeseburger i don't usually mess with chicken you can just say burger that's crazy we've been
over that.
Burger is weird.
Cheeseburger.
I don't want people to think this guy doesn't eat cheese.
He's a freak.
I'm normal, everybody.
I'm normal and I'm reliable.
You know the way that normal people always explain that?
Hi, everybody.
It's me.
I'm normal.
I'm normal and I'm reliable.
Now there's no question.
And restrained.
Oh, yeah, that's right. The thing you're known for. Normal, reliable, And restrained. Oh, yeah, that's right.
The thing you're known for.
Normal, reliable, and restrained.
Boom.
You're definitely two of those things.
Jack in the Box, I think, is a restaurant that you're better off not getting the hamburger and getting the weirder menu items. I kind of agree.
Yeah, because they always come out with these weirder things anyway, so they're always in rotation.
I typically get tacos, jalapeno poppers.
Poppers are great.
Yeah, they're really good.
They do have a chicken sandwich.
Could have done a Sonic popper thing, you know?
Not a lot of places have jalapeno poppers.
You said poppers.
Are we getting on our own case about not going to Sonic?
No, they just paid me.
It was on the side.
I got a direct email when it was like,
I don't want to do a face jam thing,
but can we just give you something?
It's a bunch of Sonic coupons, though,
so you guys wouldn't want it anyway.
You paid us.
I'm getting free poppers,
and I'm getting free mozzarella sticks,
which they also have.
They're very affordable.
They're delicious.
Check them out.
You get the marinara sauce packet with it.
Check out Sonic.
Okay. I'm getting a thumbs up. They're very affordable. They're delicious. Check them out. You get the marinara sauce packet with it. Check out Sonic. I'm getting a thumbs up. They're good.
They're happy with that read.
Love the way you look over.
Just got an email that's a thumbs up emoji.
Good job.
We heard everything.
My coupons are in the mail along with everyone else's
because they're just free coupons that everybody gets sent.
It's just junk mail.
I gotta say, i don't really like
i don't like going to jack in the box like their food's not my favorite to begin with
but like going there and like we kind of experienced this today when we went it's just
like not a fun thing to do like going in there and like the restaurants are always kind of sad
and the people that work there are always kind of sad. What you're saying is it sounds insane to say that it's not fun.
But specifically for this show, like, it was very noticeable.
It was a somber mood.
The antics or, like, the scenery or the restaurant design.
There's always something.
Yeah, I feel like we were trying to, like, make something happen.
We left Jack in the Box, and I said, like, I'll be honest, that place is just sort of there.
There was nothing memorable.
It exists.
You know, it was just like, it's kind of dark.
They could have used a couple more lights.
It looks like the same way it's looked since the 90s.
It looks like, yeah, every Jack in the Box looks the same.
And it's always the same three people that work there.
It's always the three, like, kind of sad people who don't want
to work there. Jack in the Box is a
restaurant where I've never
had somebody smile at me and say hey how's it
going and no one has
ever said have a nice day.
We were waiting
for the food. We were there for a bit.
I feel like it took a little longer.
They don't make it until you order it.
Oh, okay. That's their slogan.
Yeah, that was like their thing. I feel like it still shouldn't have taken
that long. How long did these things make?
There's little tiny tacos.
Someone cut open a bag of frozen tacos,
dumped them in a bowl, and then they sizzled
for a bit, and then they slopped them out.
Yeah, they made them. Well, they had to count them. That probably took a while.
We ordered 120.
120 tacos.
So they come 15.
You said you've got the regular or the loaded.
They come in this cute little chow mein cart.
It's like a Chinese food box.
To go.
We each got one of both kinds.
So there's eight containers.
So there's a lot of little baby tacos.
Yep.
But we were standing there for a while,
and then you were looking towards the counter
and i don't know i don't know what you saw transpiring but you just made some sort of
comment like oh no these are supposed to be to go like i thought they started loading them on
a trayers and then you went oh okay they were on a tray like they were for here like we were
going to eat 120 tacos inside the jack-in-the-box next to the woman who was doing her makeup. That was happening.
Yes. And very
like she was all in. She wasn't there to eat.
She was just there to do her makeup because it was all
laid out. She had like brushes. Yeah.
Like full on laid out kit
in the dining room of a
jack-in-the-box. Yeah. And again
not good lighting. No.
You don't want that for makeup. It's true.
You want to get blasted.
But again,
it is the only fast food restaurant where you can do your makeup
and not order anything
and no one will think twice about it.
None of the customers seem to care.
None of the employees seem to care.
I imagine if you asked,
they went,
oh yeah.
She comes in here.
That's Susan.
Whatever, yeah.
She's doing her makeup.
I was thinking maybe
You got a problem with it?
Maybe there was some sort of like ingredient just a jack-in-the-box that she mixed in to one of like her makeup. I was thinking maybe. You got a problem with it? Maybe there was some sort of like ingredient just at Jack in the Box that she mixed into one of like her makeups.
Oh.
You know?
The taco sauce?
Yeah.
Like I just squirt a little bit, like a little bit of taco sauce into my lipstick or something.
Into my mascara.
A little spicy.
A little spicy lips.
Gives a little spicy kiss.
You put your lips on that, baby.
Gives you little spicy kiss. Put your lips on that, baby. Gives you a tingle.
What is that?
Jack in the Box.
Spicy taco sauce.
What's the opposite of fish brain, but it's tacos?
He did eat over 30 tacos.
You're full on.
I can't believe it
so we got there
you ordered Jordan also immediately
they had these little
little churros
and I heard him busy but at least get him churros
and Eric went no
he told his kid
no you can't have it
but then you were there waffling about
the fucking ham and cheese
thing my thing made sense they were mini churros it was like tiny food tiny dessert he did he said
that too verbatim i looked at the they had this little breakfast thing and i went oh that looks
good and eric stared at it and he went no it doesn't and then i went yeah it does look and
i pointed at the one dollar and i oh, did you look at the picture?
It's a dollar.
That means it's good.
It's a dollar.
I looked at the food like an idiot.
No.
Yeah, like a fool.
How many episodes have we done?
There's no better.
I should have thought.
But, and the only reason I brought this up is because I stood behind you while you were
giving the order and getting the order together.
And you turned around to me and you were like are we good
anything else
and I went
yeah I'm good
and then you finished
the order and I got
I was really thinking
about getting like
a burger too
like what
there was only
and you kept saying
you're getting 30 tacos
and I said
but they're tiny
it's known for his restraint
so
that was the restraint
yeah I didn't order it
there you go
you know
so I ate all 30 tacos
and then restraint and I had a good it. There you go. So I ate all 30 tacos and then I
had a good amount of
you got the curly fries, which is not
part of the review. Delicious.
Just needed something that wasn't taco.
And then I realized Jordan hadn't finished
his, so I slurped a couple
of those down.
Slurped is the right word.
I knew exactly what I was saying.
Mine were very gooey for some reason.
You had some gooey talks.
Yeah, dude.
Bro.
Talkalicious.
Let's get into the facts.
This guy over here.
How about some facts, Michael?
How about some facts?
All right.
This is good.
I like this.
This looks better than Arby's.
There was...
There's more to work with?
As we get further, I will tell you, this was better than Arby's.
Sorry, I just had a moment where I was nodding my head like,
yeah, we're back.
Let's get into these facts.
Yeah, dude.
We don't have fish brains.
Jack in the Box was founded in America's finest city,
San Diego, California,
and while it had a brief stint on the East Coast,
it's mostly a West Coast chain.
Hey, Eric, where are you from?
Where are you from, buddy?
Oh, America's finest city, San Diego, California.
Jack in the Box headquarters.
Born and raised, baby.
Why did you leave, though?
For this job.
Can you believe it?
Not that great of a city, then, huh?
They don't got jobs there?
I went back for Comic-Con.
I went back for Comic-Con.
I was on a boat on the water overlooking downtown,
and I just went, what happened?
They fell apart when you left.
Fucked up.
Oh, my God.
My favorite San Diego movie is Anchorman.
Do you like Anchorman?
Jesus Christ.
That's like the only thing people know.
Is that bad?
No, it's just like you get it all the time there.
It's that shit.
Whale's vagina.
Yeah.
My favorite is, let's say, Almost Famous.
The beginning takes place in San Diego.
It's great.
Cameron Crowe.
I got, I was living in New Jersey, the perfect time to get blasted with the Jersey Shore.
Yeah, that's tough.
And then like, I'll be honest, it happened enough there.
And that's where we live.
It was on TV and it was even more.
You go anywhere else.
You know, and it's like 15 years later, living in Texas
and people go, dude, you sure?
And I was like, half that cash is dead.
Like half of them overdosed.
The situation is a prison.
So they opened a bunch
of Jack in the Boxes on the East Coast.
What happened?
They only lasted for a short amount of time
in the late 80s,
I think, or in like the mid 80s.
And they went like, nope, and they closed a lot.
And it has to do with another fact on here.
Let's keep digging.
Let's keep digging.
In 2004.
I thought that was a little teaser.
That was a tease right there.
Dude, he's stealing your crumbs and he's teasing.
You get attacked from every angle.
In 2004, Jack in the Box started a fast...
My little flitchlings.
He just tits.
Right in the middle.
Go ahead.
You could have done it before or after.
Go ahead.
It was a gap.
I didn't think of it.
He waited until the light turned red
and just jumped out into traffic.
Go ahead.
I want to know.
In 2004, Jack in the Box started a fast,
casual restaurant called JBX,
described as Chipotle meets Starbucks.
It closed within two years.
It's down the street from a place called Daddy's Hot Dogs,
if you're hungry.
Daddy's Hot Dogs made it.
They opened one in Hillcrest in San Diego.
I went there with a girl, and that's right, we didn't kiss.
And then they closed it a year later,
but it is down the street from a place called Daddy's Hot Dogs. Did she put the hot
sauce on her lips? Yeah.
You'll never know. Should've got in there.
Oh my god. Should've done the hot dog.
Should've done the kiss with the jack in the
box instead of going to Daddy's Hot Dogs.
Wait so it was
what was it supposed to be?
It was a like sit down
casual restaurant. So like you
order and like you go down the line and it's like, make me a taco.
And it's like, I want the cheese and the lettuce on it.
No, you ordered and they would bring you the stuff.
There was a fireplace that you could eat next to.
No kidding.
So it's like a Taco Bell cantina?
Yeah, kind of.
But it sucked because it just had Jack in the Box.
It was like a Chipotle meets Starbucks.
That's what I was trying to figure out.
But everything he's describing doesn't sound like that.
Doesn't sound like that at all.
That is how it was described.
But you have a differing opinion being there for real.
You have inside info.
Yeah, because it sucked because it was still Jack in the Box.
Oh, so they didn't change the food at all.
No, no, no, no, no.
It was JBX.
Yes, exactly.
Jibix.
JBX, that's a 2004 name.
Uh-huh.
It sure is.
It really is.
Jack in the Box was accused of making burgers from kangaroo meat in the early 60s.
In 1993, they had an E. coli outbreak that killed four kids.
Those facts aren't related, but if they were, I bet someone would be hopping mad.
The most roundabout way for a kangaroo pun michael's only laughing because he read it
i don't know i remember when that happened the i'll be honest i don't know if it's the
most roundabout way for a kangaroo pun or to mention dead kids is why i'm laughing
i don't know where he started when he was writing this. I feel like the four kids
were an afterthought. They were a
means to an end
for the kangaroo pun.
Have you guys ever had kangaroo before?
Yes. That's actually pretty good.
You seem shocked that we both answered yes.
I'm shocked he answered yes. I knew you had.
It's good. This place, San Diego, you get kangaroo.
Slow roasting. I've had the real stuff.
Yeah, we've been to Australia. From Australia.
Oh. Maybe it's a little
better. I mean, it might be. Do you think
it was, like, great? It was
okay. Yeah. It was
alright. It was mostly. The way
I got it prepared. It's a little tougher. Yeah.
It's a little gamier. It's like a steak that fights
back. Yeah. But if you get it slow
roasted, it's a little better. It beat the shit
out of me. Yeah.
I was fucked up.
He was hopping mad.
So,
one of the reasons that they withdrew
their expansion
into the East Coast
and then couldn't,
and then like,
they decided like,
yeah,
we're good.
The E. coli sent them back.
The E. coli outbreak
in the early 90s
was a big reason
they didn't keep going
and they're just like,
we're done.
We're a Southwest thing.
Well,
I'm surprised there.
Is that dirty buttholes?
E. coli? Yeah. No, they said it was from undercooked food. Underpants. We're a Southwest thing. Is that dirty buttholes? Is that what that is? E. coli? No, they said
it was from undercooked food. Underpants.
That's what I think. I thought it was
rubbing an ass. I thought it had to do with
mad cow disease.
They said it was, they claimed it was undercooked
beef. Bullshit. I think it was
rubbing an ass on a taco and going
nuts. They were late on
all four day and they said, I got some of this.
You've seen the people who work at Jack in the Box.
We saw them today.
I looked right through them.
I looked at them, but they didn't look back.
Tacos to go.
Why are you putting it on the tray?
Oh, no.
OK, last fact. Oh, boy. Okay. Last fact.
Oh, boy.
I'm sorry.
I glanced at the next line.
It threw me for a loop.
Yeah, you got it.
Jack in the Box holds the world record for world's largest coupon measuring,
a staggering 80 feet by 25 feet.
All right.
They also have the world record for killing the most children with E. coli
out of staggering
poor children.
I would dispute
they probably don't hold that record.
I know. Did you look that up?
I bet
someone right now is listening and going,
uh-uh.
Guinness didn't have that in their record book.
Oh my god.
I'm telling you, that seals it.
That last joke, that was for the...
He started with the kids.
Yeah.
He got two jokes out of it.
You've redeemed yourself.
Oh, thank you.
You got a lot of mileage out of these dead kids.
I don't...
Hey.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
It's Iron Vein.
Yeah.
It was worth it.
Terrible. Terrible. Awful tragedy. in time vein yeah it was worth it terrible terrible awful tragedy uh what's what's with
the coupon why they had they made this giant like billboard size coupon then hung it and then they
posted on social media and they're like they made a show people this like a jack-in-the-box like
show them your smartphone with this coupon and you get, like, a... So this was recent.
Yeah. Sometimes I hate, like,
marketing.
But you love the marketing.
We're about to get into your favorite part.
Corporations using social media.
Well, he's got a good eye for it. That's why.
That's his thing. He knows
good marketing and he knows bad marketing.
Arby's? Bad marketing.
We don't know that. Those aliens
tried their best.
It is macaroni and cheese.
It is macaroni and cheese.
It has macaroni. It has cheese.
Oh, man.
Jordan, do you want to get into...
Let's read the spiel.
Directly off their website.
You'll see what threw me off a little bit.
I glanced this first sentence.
All right.
These are the regular tiny tacos.
It says,
please read the following in a movie trailer voice.
So like Sonic?
He's not going to do it.
That's fine.
I didn't write that.
Oh my God.
No.
I'm not joking.
I didn't. All the more reason for me to not do it. I thought you wrote that. I didn't write that. Oh my god. No, I'm not joking that I didn't
All the more reason for me to not do it. I thought you wrote that and I went where's this guy going?
He's got the kangaroos. He's got the dead kids. My father's back to the dead kids. No, it's not funny
I copied and pasted it. I can't tell where you begin and the copy ends because I'm a great producer baby
Well, it's because you're something
You're not restrained.
That's true.
That's you, the guy waving his sheet at me.
Don't make me come over there.
There's no mention of San Diego, so I guess this is from the website.
Please do it as instructed.
All right, so I'm not going to do what it tells me to do,
but please read the following in a movie trailer voice.
In a world, dot, dot, dot, where tacos have always been the same size,
one food will change the course of history.
Tiny tacos.
This winner experienced the biggest little blockbuster of the year.
15 tiny tacos and an all-new creamy avocado lime dipping sauce.
End movie trailer voice, if you want.
I got something wrong there, though. I want if you want. I got something wrong there, though.
I want to kill myself.
I got something wrong there.
Yeah.
We did not get any such creamy avocado lime dipping sauce.
I felt it on the way.
We were driving here.
Is that what you were doing?
You kept going, mmm, in the backseat.
I didn't know why.
It's because I was smelling them.
I was coming so hard.
And then I was looking for the creamy avocado dipping sauce.
I knew that something was missing. I knew that something was smelling them. I was coming so hard. And then I was looking for the creamy avocado dipping sauce.
I knew that something was missing.
I knew that something, I'm like, but what?
Because then I'm like, wait, hang on.
Are we missing two things of tacos?
And I looked at them like, no, there's not there.
And then we got here and realized no creamy avocado lime dipping sauce. You like screamed it once you opened the box.
You went, there's no, there's no avocado.
I was pissed.
Honestly, it sounds pretty good.
I didn't know. I bet. I didn't know it was avocado.
That was honestly what stood out the most in the picture of the loaded taco.
It was the lime green shit on it.
I didn't know what it was, but I knew it was there.
Yep.
So, Jordan, those are the tiny tacos.
You go ahead and read the loaded tiny tacos.
I have to do it again.
I'm copying and pasting what they have on their website.
Loaded Tiny Tacos.
Please read the following in a movie trailer voice.
In a world...
where tacos...
What?
Sorry, I just read this.
Where tacos have always been the same size.
One food will change the course of history.
What is it?
You'll never guess. What's the food? Loaded Tiny Tacos. Oh, that's history. What is it? You'll never guess.
What's the food?
Loaded tiny tacos.
Oh, that's different.
This is a different copy.
This is totally different.
This winner experienced the biggest little blockbuster of the year, 15 tiny tacos loaded
up with cheese sauce, shredded lettuce, and our very own taco sauce.
End movie trailer voice, if you want.
Was there sauce in there? Yeah.
It's hard to tell.
It's barely in there. With the explosion
of cheese sauce. They are not
effing around with that cheese sauce.
No, it was not nearly enough.
And I think there's two pieces of lettuce.
There was not nearly enough taco sauce.
No, we learned. Good thing we grabbed a whole bunch.
There still wasn't enough.
As we learned. Some greedy little little thing he only had four five
this guy sucked down all their sauce and that's that's when i started to lose control
but then he left but then he went to his desk and came back with his own sauce was that your desk
i thought he went to the kitchen where else do you think he keeps his sauce?
Oh my God.
And you said it too.
You were like,
I like to point out Nick just left and came back with sauce.
And I thought,
I thought it was pretty innocent.
He's the sauce guy,
whatever.
And then I had,
you know,
10 tacos left out of my 30 tacos.
And we were at a sauce and he's hiding empty sauce packets.
Michael's looking everywhere for sauce.
I literally went, there's no way they're all gone.
We had so many, and then you discovered his shame pile.
He was hiding them under another bag.
He had underneath a paper bag.
I was like, all right, now you're crossing the line.
We let you come get food with us.
You can eat it quietly, but now you're taking away from the rating.
I need sauce. I cannot
formulate a proper opinion
if I'm not loaded with sauce, and we can't
use the sauce from Nick's desk because that's not
part of the food. We had to remind him that coming with us
is a privilege that could easily
be taken away. He was very stern with him.
Listen, if you follow this path back, this
is your doing because you said we should
invite Nick. You created a monster. Yeah.
A sauce monster.
And then his head blew up after the last episode, dude.
I've never seen him walk with such a strut.
After he had these like, I don't know.
I heard him talking to somebody in the kitchen.
He's like, excuse me, sauce guy coming through.
He pushed somebody out of the way to get water.
They fell down.
And I was like, oh my God.
I ran over and helped him.
He was like, sauce tender coming through. Yeah.
I was like, please, please don't tell HR. And I. He was like, sauce tender coming through. I was like, please,
please don't tell HR and I gave him one of the free coupons
from Sonic. Oh, wow.
They paid me in advance.
I went, shh.
But like, it's becoming a problem. We may have created
a monster. We'll have to get more sauce.
When we were getting the food
to go, I went over and
Nick went, is there the taco sauce?
It was right there and I went, yeah, let me
grab it. And I grabbed a handful and I put it in the bag and I said,
is that enough? And he went,
uh...
So I grabbed another handful and put it in there and he went,
okay. Again, like a child,
he didn't just get more.
I like it. He was like,
maybe you want more.
Dad, did I get maybe more sauce?
Is that enough for me.
And then, again, you told us
that before we started and I laughed at it
and then we ran out of sauce.
This guy needs his own sauce from now on.
He doesn't, we're not, no more communal sauce.
You get whatever you want.
Sauce for us.
Sauce for you.
Separate but equal.
That's something
different.
Like he could have his own separate sauce.
Sauce-brite but equal.
That didn't work.
That stays in. What stays in?
Sauce-brite.
Separate sauces.
I reached out to Jack in the Box
for official word on Tiny Tacos.
You did? I emailed Jack in the Box.
Oh, my God.
I was looking for a press release.
I was looking for a press release from the senior vice president of food research or whatever,
and there was nothing.
So I went on their website, and there's a media inquiry.
And so I emailed, hey, just looking for word on your Tiny Tacos,
any kind of quotes or press release, whatever.
And they emailed me back.
Oh, my God. Not joking.
Oh, my God.
Acting like a real producer.
Fire it up.
All right.
Their response.
Dear Eric, the fans have spoken and Jack in the Box listened, says Eric Cousin or Cousin.
Sure.
Eric Cousin, PR coordinator for Jack in the Box's media agency, Kashmir.
I guess that's a funny title.
Jack in the Box fans will be thrilled to know that the hugely popular Tiny Tacos
have made their highly anticipated return to the menu system-wide on January 16th.
Be sure to stay tuned for more news from Jack in the Box and Tiny Tacos,
especially surrounding the Super Bowl.
That's another tease.
We're getting teased on the show.
Eric's a little teaser.
Yeah.
Everybody's getting on the tease game.
I love it.
Bunch of little tickly teases.
So does Eric from Jack in the Box, like, did he tell you,
or is he just teasing you?
No, he just teased me.
That was it, man.
That's part of his statement.
He left you wanting more.
You felt tingly.
Yep.
So I'm going to hit him up.
We need to have an emergency
podcast post-Super Bowl
to talk about what happened.
That guy's update on the tease? He delivered.
It was a Sonic the Hedgehog commercial.
Do you think it's going to be a Sonic commercial?
It won't be a Sonic commercial.
It'll be a Jack in the Box commercial and then Sonic
will show up. And then people
will be confused. And then you'll be screaming at
the TV, pick up a tiny taco, you son of a bitch.
Because I'll be honest, in the Instagram post,
there was no collaboration at all.
It's just eat a tiny taco and then Sonic was there.
And I feel like we could do that.
We could put Sonic on the Face Jam thumbnail.
And there's no integration there.
It's just look at this guy.
Yeah, I don't want to do that.
Somebody else do that and send it to us at FaceJamPod.
But this is already going to be out.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, this actually comes out after the Super Bowl.
Well, I'm not going to do it.
Yeah.
We'll get somebody else to do it.
I have to put Sonic the Hedgehog on the thumbnail?
You don't.
Just get somebody else to make him do it.
I don't know how to do that.
Yeah, you do.
Although.
You got him working on the shirt, right?
I think it should be cool.
Yeah. The thumbnail should look cool. You calling me out? Hey, you got him working on the shirt, right? I think it should be cool. Yeah.
The thumbnail should be cool.
You're calling me out.
Hey, yeah, if this is good enough, Eric will make us a shirt.
And then I asked Jordan, I'm going to need help.
And he said, I think it should be cool.
That's how she gets done.
Yeah.
Make it cool.
People are hammering me.
Where's the shirt?
We want, you know.
Michael's not going to make the shirt.
I'm not going to make the shirt.
People are threatening five dead kids if we don't get the shirt made. I've seen know, Michael's not going to make the shirt. I'm not going to make the shirt. People are threatening five dead
kids if we don't get the shirt made. I've
seen it. It's out there. And I'm just
trying to appease the masses. Jack in the Box
has the poopy E. coli
burger ready to go down a kid's mouth.
Get the shirt done. And who's at the
top of this show? You. That's it.
It's not that guy over there. It's not this guy.
And it's not me. I just eat the food.
I just eat the food. I just eat the food.
That's it.
I'll get the fucking shirt.
And then you kicked it back to him.
Well, I thought maybe he would be like, oh, we'll make it like this.
And you just said it.
Make it cool.
I told you.
The shirt's going to be cool.
I gave you.
And when it is cool, people will thank me for that idea.
I gave you very specific instructions on what I envisioned as a shirt.
Uh-huh.
It's in the process. It's got sleeves. It's got sleeves. I envisioned as a shirt. Uh-huh. It's in the process.
It's got sleeves.
It's got sleeves.
I gave you a color.
Yep.
There you go.
I'm working on it.
It needs to be cool.
I'm working on it.
That's three things.
Yep.
And this guy wants more help.
But people need to actually listen.
People, listen.
Okay?
Shows that don't get downloaded don't get shirts.
That's true.
That's a way of life.
You know that, right?
It's like, oh, this show's doing poorly.
Let's make them a shirt.
So this is where we need the people to go leave your house.
I know it's scary.
Get out there, make some friends with the sole intention of just mentioning Face Jam.
Right.
Hey, how are you?
Nice to meet you.
And play it cool for a little bit.
You like podcasts?
Don't be like, hey, how are you?
Nice to meet you.
Listen to Face Jam. Right. That's a little aggressive. Maybe win them over a little bit. Maybe sleep with them first. Then the next day, when you have that
awkward conversation or that moment of like, fuck, what are we talking about now? You go,
hey, do you like podcasts? Man, I know one we can listen to.
And then you pick something that's not face jam
and it's awful
how do I get this disgusting taste
out of my mouth
I've never heard of this
I guess I'll give it a try
and then you're like wow
so we get another listener
you look cool
which is what Jordan knows all about
and then you can buy each other shirts you can buy two shirts listener. You look cool. Which is what Jordan knows all about. That's what it's all about. And then
you can buy each other shirts.
You can buy two shirts.
The money never stops.
And then I'm driving a Ferrari.
That's all I know. Vroom vroom.
How did this happen?
I don't know.
I wink and I drive off and
my license plate says Face Jam.
Nice.
When you recommend this show to a friend you can film it and you can tweet it at Face Jam Pod.
Hashtag Face Jam Challenge.
Face Jam Challenge.
Everyone's doing it.
Everyone's doing it.
Just record yourself telling a friend to go listen to the show.
And then I don't have to see them listening to it.
I just need to know that like you recommended it.
If you're a fan.
You did your part.
That's what you did.
Hashtag Face Jam Challenge.
I did my part.
My dad does not listen to the show.
But now he does because he texted me the other day a picture of the Popeye's chicken sandwich.
Did he really?
And he was like, you tried this yet?
And I was like, huh, you should listen to Face Jam.
That's a good plug.
I sent him the link, like the direct Apple podcast link.
So it plays in the text messages.
All he needs to do is push play.
And yeah, start listening to it.
Five minutes later, he was like, you guys are funny.
I got to listen to the rest later, though.
So he listened to about five minutes.
That's a listen, baby.
He was like, son, you're really good, and your co-host is very restrained.
Is that what he's known for?
I'm pretty sure he didn't know I was on the show until I started talking.
Oh, my son's in this.
The show's not bad, but those guys are annoying.
I don't know who those guys are.
Anyway, yeah, I did my part.
See, you participated in the hashtag FaceJamChallenge.
Hashtag FaceJamChallenge at FaceJamPod.
Hit us up.
Let us know. It's good.
What are they letting us know? FaceJamChallenge?
Are we still on that? Yeah.
We should just record someone. Yeah, record yourself
recommending the show to a friend.
It's a totally normal thing to do. It's regular.
He's a totally normal thing to do. It's regular. He's a totally normal guy.
Like, just imagine these POV camera things.
Hey, Mark, hey.
Listen to this.
Hey, listen to Face Jam.
I'll tell you, though.
And then you just start playing it.
You can do it anywhere.
This was a bit ago, but I was playing Halo.
It's a video game. I was playing it not too long ago. And, like, a big thing in games, This was a bit ago, but I was playing Halo. It's a video game.
I was playing it not too long ago.
And like a big thing in games, you play a game online and people do in the chat, they
type GG, the good game.
For a solid two hours, I was playing video games.
Every time it ended, I'd type GG.
Hey, listen to Face Jam.
Please download it.
You're good.
Five stars and subscribe.
And I kept blasting it.
And like one guy told me to kill myself.
One guy blamed me for not getting enough kills.
It was overall not good.
It was not a good response.
But you're getting the word out there.
But I'm getting it out there.
People will remember.
They'll hear Face Jam and go,
I told that guy to kill himself.
There it is.
That's the same show?
Whoa.
Oh, man.
Just get the word out.
The best part about this is that now we don't need to
have a marketing meeting for this show because we just had one right we just had it came up with
nothing but good ideas long one in the middle of the podcast really for no reason but we did it
we did it that's that yep yeah i guess we should review the food just get on the food it was it
was teasing uh that's it it was was nothing else. Very tease heavy.
Anyway, we went and got the food.
We talked a little bit about the experience getting it.
And one thing I was most concerned about is what is the ratio to tiny tacos to one regular Jack in the Box taco?
Right.
Because Eric kept saying there's 30 tacos.
There's 30 tacos.
Yeah.
I don't know what that means.
But they're tiny.
Yeah.
They're tiny.
It could be like two tacos total.
I did some like piecing means. They're tiny. Yeah, they're tiny. It could be like two tacos total. I did some like
piecing together here with some regular
baby tacos. You took several tacos
and tried to create the shape
of a regular normal taco.
It takes about three. I'll be honest, you did a very
good job. It takes about three and that's about the size
of it, but there's a hole in the middle so you put a fourth
one there and it fills it out. Yep. So I
think it's about four to one ratio.
Right.
You can see a picture of this at Face Jam Podcast.
Yeah.
Make it the thumbnail with Sonic in it.
Nice plug, buddy.
So there's 15,
so it's about four tacos.
Yeah.
You would say.
Well, not bad,
but it's like eight if we're eating two of them.
And we did.
Mm-hmm.
One of us did.
This guy, no, Nick did it too.
I mean, it doesn't count, but he did it.
I'm sorry.
This is another reason he can't come.
This dick just grew two inches.
He's like a weird Grinch.
Ah, shoot.
He's thanking you.
Frankenstein over here.
Oh, man.
Created a monster.
Oh, boy.
A big dick monster. Anyway, anyway yeah so it's about four the thing i took away
immediately is that it doesn't the tiny ones don't remind me enough of the regular ones
because you have a comparison yeah when you get a regular one it's usually much more greasy and
it's not crunchy um it's just it's good hang hangover food. Or like when you're drunk, you go to Jack in the Box
and you get a taco.
These are just like, they're light and they're crunchy
and they're tiny.
They're very crunchy.
Listen to this.
You don't get that from a regular taco.
If this was like British Bake Off, they would love that.
Yeah.
Ooh, that snap.
That's a handshake right there.
So yeah, it wasn't like, it wasn't as fun as eating just a miniature version of the thing I know.
But it was fun to put a whole taco in my mouth and eat it in one bite.
That's pretty cool.
So I like that.
We need a shirt that cool, like putting a whole tiny taco in your mouth.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what it should feel like.
Hey, how do you like that shirt?
It's like putting a whole tiny taco in my mouth.
That's what it should feel like.
Without that dipping sauce that we didn't get they're very plain avocado so yeah i got very
bored of them uh which is why i didn't eat all of them and uh i tried putting the taco sauce on it
and it's like that didn't do anything for me not that great in my opinion and then the loaded ones
whoa fucking mess i don't know where one taco ends and
the next one begins it's a it's a jungle out there i don't know what it was they tasted way different
than the than the regular ones and i don't know what it was i don't know if it was the cheese sauce
it wasn't the taco sauce it was something aggressively nodding in the taco making it
a little mushier or something it was weird and i
have been i've been thinking this like the taste nope i've been thinking this the whole time but
didn't want to say anything because i can't let it affect scores yeah i jordan i feel the exact
same way those are a different food they do not taste like the tacos yes and honestly it's worse oh like i eat i'll eat those regular ones
any day if you make me please don't make me um but you're pointing at the tiny tacos yeah the
regular ones the the loaded ones no oh so you okay so you like the regular over the loaded even
though you were bored with them yeah okay because i i can only imagine if i get that sauce something
fun's gonna happen yeah but you don't know.
I don't know.
And I don't know what I don't know.
You can't take that into account.
And honestly, I can't raise the score for what it would have been.
If anything, you could lower it because you didn't get it.
If I was just rating the regular ones by themselves, pretty high score.
But the loaded ones brings it down a little bit.
Okay.
And we're talking 45 range. Wow. That's a hit. That's both. Brings it down a little bit. Okay. And we're talking 45 range.
Wow.
That's a hit.
That's both.
Brings it to a 45.
So you're going to give it a 45.
What would have just the regulars been?
The regulars as they are, probably like a 60 with the sauce.
Who knows?
Wow.
Who knows?
They took a hit.
This fly loves it.
I don't know where he came from.
I don't know.
I don't know.
All right.
Probably brought it in with us.
45 is what I give it.
I don't want to give it that because I...
You were excited about it.
I had high hopes for it, especially after the fucking fish sandwich fiasco.
I was going to say, especially after I knew Sonic was involved.
I was just fanboying alone.
I hope we'd see him there.
He wasn't there.
I wanted the old one, though.
With the teeth.
With the teeth.
Yeah.
He looked better.
Yeah.
He was definitely funnier.
Chomp on you.
Yeah.
I was hoping for at least Cyclops, but we didn't even get that.
We couldn't even get Cyclops.
There might have been a guy with one eye working in the back, but it was not Cyclops.
A guy nicknamed Cyclops.
He walked in, and then he got blown up right away.
Oh, fuck.
We're students of the same system.
We walked in.
My favorite guy.
Come on.
You've been a co-star.
Uh-oh.
So I've never had the taco from Jack in the Box.
What they look like to me,
just from the promotional photos and stuff,
and especially in the box, they look like little dumplings.
Like fried, flat taco dumplings.
And as far as the crunch goes, it's exactly what I expected.
They just look so deep fried.
They're like taquitos.
They're very much like taquitos.
In fact, I guess they are taquitos because they're tiny tacos.
But they're not the rolled up kind. Yeah, they're not rolled and long yeah they're they're tiny and taco
hence the name yeah i was kind of like meh on the on the regular um i don't know if it's
a point to make that there's not a lot of meat in them because they're tiny yeah but i feel like
you know if you get a if you get like a taco
usually at any sort of like fast food restaurant they they usually like skimp out on the meat you
know what i mean like they do a good job of just giving you a little bit like we you could hold
them up and see what was in them right but but now imagine that in a tiny taco like you think like oh
the taco is tiny they could use they still skimp out on the meat yeah it's like they they like demand to only put 20 of the meat in the size of whatever the hell eric got one that was just
the shell it was like it was i got one that was just straight up empty it looked like leftovers
yeah eric's looked like they filled it and then scraped it out and then deep fried it this is the
um these are the ecoli meat that they use for the tiny taco. He's done for. Okay, this is it. Sorry, dude.
Sorry, and it won't even be five,
because you're not a kid.
You're an old man.
Thanks for nothing.
Also, we're not going to get that shirt made.
Well, no, he passed it on to you,
so that'll be his legacy.
Yeah, go ahead and make it cool.
Oh, you'll see.
They're fine.
The Loaded...
Now, Jordan is not kidding with like the cheese that they're
they went absolutely insane with the cheese i mean i i pulled one out and it was just like
it kept the cheese kept going you also have a picture of that yeah check out a face jam pod
on twitter ever made me eat it you loved it but it's interesting because it's so it's basically
it says cheese sauce it's very much like a nacho cheese you know just like the kind of glob do you get at the movie theaters it reminded
me of the cheese on the fish sandwich we had oh it did well maybe but like and to be fair you said
you got like a like a thick one like you got a lot of cheese i didn't really get it if it was
this is like 10 times the amount of that like there was so much of it. It's a mess.
You can't pick them up. You can eat the regular ones with your hands.
You absolutely cannot eat these with your hands.
You'd look like a crazed person.
You need a fork.
Not normal, Michael.
Not normal.
Expert on normal.
I would never do it.
I would see somebody eating it with their hands and go,
that ain't right.
I'm normal.
That ain't right.
And then Nick would be over his shoulder screaming,
get more sauce.
Give me the sauce.
You going to finish that?
And he's just like licking up the packets.
Then the guy's like, I threw it away already.
He's like, so you are done.
You gotta finish that.
I'll say, too, just from the verbiage of it,
it surprised me that that's loaded.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, loaded was cheese and lettuce. Yeah, they just put a bunch of crap on it. Well, no, that's what yeah right like loaded was cheese and lettuce yeah they just put
a bunch of crap on it well no that's what would come on a regular taco so no that's not a bunch
of crap it's like pretty standard like loaded is usually like way more shit it's what you would
get on the regular taco is essentially what they put on top of the tiny tacos that were loaded like
you get a baked potato it's a potato you get a loaded baked potato you got like sour cream you got
butter you got cheese you got like maybe bacon bits like i just thought this was kind of lacking
in the loaded department i i expected more um that said i was fine with the cheese like uh i don't
know if you know this i like cheese i've heard um Did you take your lactate? I didn't. Oh, shit. Nope. Well, later.
It's in my pot.
You know why?
I changed my pants.
Oh.
I put the track suit on.
Oh, that's right.
The pills are in my jeans.
I love these way more than the regular ones because they were just too dry.
They were good with the sauce.
The sauce that Nick left us, which wasn't a lot.
They were supposed to come with the avocado
that might have helped
that really might have helped because they're super dry
do you think they tasted different than the
regular ones?
honestly it was hard to tell with the base
because there was just so much damn cheese goop on it
I just mostly tasted cheese
which is probably why I loved them
but I will say
kind of impressed how not soft they didn't get
from the cheese. They're hard.
At least in the time, I'm sure
it's mush by now, but in the time of
eating it, the cheese did not deter
the crunchiness. We were able to order it, bring it
back here, eat it, and it was...
Please don't punch the microphone. This man
is
out of control. And it was still
fresh. Please restrain yourself.
That's not normal what you just did.
Okay?
It's rude and it's barbaric.
I'm talking about this tiny taco, please.
And I will finish now.
Delicious.
I love this.
I would have eaten 30 of these
over the regular ones.
But combining both scores,
I didn't dislike them.
Definitely dry. I'm'm gonna give the tiny tacos
and pretty good value i'll be honest four bucks yeah it was three bucks for the regular like
unloaded and then the loaded was four bucks again to me now going back to the cheeseburger debate
it's four dollars for the tiny tacos and it's three dollars for the shitty tiny tacos that's
why i'm looking at it get the get loaded tiny tacos. They ain't that loaded.
I'm going to slap these with, I think, because of the shitty ones,
I'm going to give it an 80.
Five.
An 85?
Yeah.
I still had my finger on it. Any other numbers you want to throw on there?
0.3.
No.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a 65.15.
That's pretty good. That's not bad. I think it deserves a 70, but's a 65.15. That's pretty good.
That's not bad.
I think it deserves a 70, but you know.
I think that's a fair score for it.
Who knows?
It could be better with the other stuff.
You let us know how it tastes.
Some guy's going to be pissed because he heard a bag opening in the background.
Yeah, but three people are finally going to be able to jerk off to this podcast.
Yeah, finally.
Because they hear it and they're like, yeah, it's happening.
Nicks one of them from
the reaction you just so that does it for the jack-in-the-box tiny tacos loaded tiny tacos
now snack attack we have the snack attack so uh these are post chicken and waffle cereal from
jackie c chicken and waffles you walked in with this and like all i saw was chicken and waffles. You walked in with this and all I saw was chicken and waffles and the Post logo.
And I was like, what?
Yep.
What is this?
To whom it may concern, e.g. Eric, Michael, Jordan, Nick.
Ooh, Nick was included.
Just grew another half inch.
As a loyal Face Jam listener, they're called jammers, by the way,
I am concerned, while I appreciated this week's foray into Michael's eternal love for all things McDonald's.
This is obviously from the McDonald's episode.
And last fortnight's adventure into Jordan's dislike of chocolate sprinkled candy on otherwise mediocre pancakes.
I must say that I am bothered, nay, troubled.
Whoa, we got a troubled.
By the distinct lack of chicken eaten on the show in the past month.
As such, please enjoy this snack.
Enclosed is a box of Post Chicken and Waffles
limited edition cereal.
They got it. It's a snack and it's limited edition.
See that? Love it. They swung for the fences.
You're crushing it and you threw a treble in there.
We have other snacks to eat.
This is the one that I picked because
of this letter. Oh, nice. Great job, Jackie.
Oh my god. Yes.
Jackie on the Jack in the Box episode.
Oh, she's cursing here too now. Yep. Description and disclaimer
from the actual fucking
copy that released for this. She censored herself
though. See, these are... Well, she
says it's a copy, but these are... They're also listed as
facts. They are facts. So why don't you take
a stab at it? You let me know, PR expert.
Well, they're definitely facts.
Honey Bunches of Oats is celebrating
cereal day by bringing your
favorite brunch into your cereal cereal bowl come on man it's so tiny she like pasted an image
her text is regular size sweet and savory unite in a flavor intense cereal that combines chicken
and waffles flavored goodness for a unique breakfast experience disclaimer Absolutely no chickens were harmed in the making of this cereal.
Well, how'd they get them in the cereal then?
Is it just chicken, like...
What the hell is that?
Chicken sauce?
Like flavor?
Yep.
So they're vegan.
So what are the facts, Michael?
Oh, that was the product description.
Yeah, got it.
The tiny thing there.
Yeah, I see it.
Clear as day.
The founder of post
cereal cw post is dead the first fact hold on hold on we'd like to find that out on accident
he died on may 9th my anniversary 1914 by suicide over his worsening stomach conditions
due to possible appendicitis this is really ironic removed this is really ironic
because he had previously advertised that grape nuts one of his original cereals could cure
appendicitis he did get sued over that claim these are jackie you're looking for like a
watch out eric fact number two grape nuts it out, has no grapes and Chicken and Waffles has no chicken.
What the hell are you selling us, Post?
Why do you feel the need to lie?
Dude, they're gunning for you.
Jack is gunning for you.
And fact number three, no word on whether anyone at Post thinks Chicken and Waffles could cure appendicitis.
And a little blur at the bottom, I seriously love the show and may have been eating the snickerdoodle McFlurry
in my car
when I heard you all
open the Takis that I sent
oh she sent the Takis too
oh wow I didn't realize that
she's monopolizing
the whole damn segment
she's the snack queen
no I feel like an asshole
damn me neither
I had no idea
she's taking the snack segment
she's taking your fact thing
we gotta bump her up
one above Nick
he shrunk half an inch
I'm sorry
for the hot chips Jordan
I don't know if that connects when I heard you all open
the Takis I was saying I'm sorry for the hot chips Jordan
were they hot
she's referring to the chips
the Takis I was like if she sent a third snack
I'm just gonna rip this off
I'll try to find some hipster
limited edition rosemary shortbread or something
to send for you so Michael can
hate them. I love hipster snacks,
but they don't give things
a limited edition label I have
discovered.
Not rosemary, please.
I hate rosemary.
Jesus Christ. Sorry, he couldn't give that one to you.
So just find something better.
For this amazing podcast, Jackie C. P.S. I have no clue how the Takis arrived while you were filming. Sorry, he couldn't give that one to you. All the love for this amazingly silly podcast.
Jackie C, P.S. I have no clue how the talkies
arrived while you were filming.
P.S.S. Give Nick a
laughter microphone, please.
No! Absolutely not.
I was with you up to that point.
You just lost your job.
You just lost it.
Jackie the snack queen.
I would say, usually it's one bite and we're done.
I would say take a tiny handful because there are different kinds.
You can use that now and be like, Michael from Face Jam gave me the nickname Snacky Jackie.
There's like some honey bunches of oats.
Okay, hang on.
I want to look at it for screaming at me to take a handful.
I got it, dad.
The chicken.
He's dead.
Do you want to be dead too?
You'll be next.
He thought he could tell me what to do.
Oh, no.
Once again, totally normal guy.
Normal guy with one parent.
That's normal.
People die every day.
Why not you?
Why not you?
Watch out.
Might have an accident.
Oh, boy.
So there's little nubs there.
They look like little drumsticks.
They do.
And then the waffles are like vaguely waffles.
It all reeks of sugar.
Yep.
It's all syrup.
Oh, it smells definitely like syrup.
There's a waffle.
There's a little chicken bit.
And then there's like a cornflake.
Yeah, the regular Honey Bunch's cereal.
I'll be honest.
I'll eat it and rate it, but I also feel like this is a travesty without milk.
Okay.
Snap judgment.
The bite, don't eat directly into the microphone.
I'll eat it back.
No, not you, him.
Well, he's an amateur.
Yeah.
It just tastes like syrup.
Even the chicken tastes like syrup.
I'll be honest.
It's not as sweet as I thought it would be.
It kind of tastes like a soggy waffle, which I actually hate.
It tastes a little stale. I don't know if that's the cereal or just this particular box. I think it as I thought it would be. It kind of tastes like a soggy waffle, which I actually hate. It tastes a little stale.
I don't know if that's the cereal or just this particular box.
I think it's the way it's made.
I'm inclined to agree with you.
Eh.
Okay.
Yeah.
I really wish I had milk because I'm not an animal.
I don't eat cereal just out of the box.
But like just as this, as like a trail mix snack.
Mm-hmm.
32.
I would say the 40.
Yeah.
32 and 40 brings us to 36. 36're about right there you go so it's a
36 thanks for the thanks for the box snacky jacky but it was okay yep thanks jacky if you want to
send your own snack to uh not jacky no enough and again you don't have to write your own facts and
description and everything she did that that was fun don't feel like you have to do that also.
That was cute and fun.
You're probably not as good at it.
I'll be honest.
I read them and I was thinking like, if this sucks, we'll just cut it all out.
Yeah, exactly.
So yours, no offense.
It probably sucks if you're going to write one.
So don't do it.
So there you go.
So if you want to.
Eric's barely good.
You want to say.
Yeah, I'm really.
I'm struggling.
We're only like seven deep.
So if you want to send something,
Face Jam courtesy of Eric Bedour,
just so it gets to me.
1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723.
And if you want to see...
That's where Jackie can send her resume as well.
Yeah.
And if you want to see Pickies,
check out Face Jam Pod on Twitter.
Yep.
Subscribe to the show
so Eric can getordan to make that
shirt that's right oh you know what we should talk about real quick oh my god uh no real fast
um what rtx is coming up and tickets are on sale now we're gonna convention we're gonna do our
place in austin texas we're gonna do our first ever live show at rtx just for the audience so
if you want to see that you you have to come to RTX.
Yeah.
It's not going to be an episode because also it won't be good.
Yeah.
But then again, none of these are.
It's not going to be relevant to anyone who's not at the convention.
Right.
It's very, very limited edition food.
Yes.
So if you want to come, rtxevent.com.
Check out tickets.
They're on sale now.
It's our 10th year.
Yeah. It's the 10th year we're doing RTX. but really it's the first year with face jam exactly so it's the
first year we're doing the first one yep it's the first one that counts yeah so if you want
to check it out go to rtxevent.com and uh get your tickets and then come say hey we'll be
well we're gonna be at the event all three days so whatever yep but uh you can see
this live there you go and who wouldn't want that
But you can see this live.
There you go.
And who wouldn't want that?
I don't know.
I don't know anyone.
What do you want me to do?
No, it's over.
Oh.
Okay.
You're good.
Now you can wrap it up.
Now I'm going to finish off your tacos.
Just have at it, man.
All right.
Come to daddy.
What?
You put cereal on that one. Yeah.
There's nothing in there.
Here you go.
You keep giving me things that aren't what I want.
Here.
That's the dry one.
I don't want those.
I don't have the other ones.
They're right here. I don't know why you're pushing everything towards me. I don't want those. I don't have the other ones. They're right here.
I don't know why you're pushing
everything towards me.
I don't need you.
I don't need you at all.
Here, have this too.
All right, well, thanks for listening.
Bye.
Take my mic.
They didn't even come out.
I tried to dump them on the table,
but they're so glued with cheese
they won't come out.