100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Jack in the Box Sourdough Jack
Episode Date: April 4, 2023Your eyes do not deceive you, Face Jam tackles a NEAR FORBIDDEN restaurant and their offering: the Sourdough Jack. Although Jack in the Box is not banned on Spittin Silly, is it even worth venturing t...hrough their taboo doors to sample this food? Tune in and find about that and I think Rennervations. Come out and see us at RTX this July 7-9 where we'll be doing a live episode recording & be hanging at the Rat & Grackle Pub https://www.rtxaustin.com/Â Sponsored by Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/facejam50 and use code facejam50Â ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/facejam and Honey http://joinhoney.com/facejam Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does.
I'm your host, Jordan Sweers, alongside my co-host, Michael Jones. Michael, how are you?
I'm good. This is, uh...
Anything can happen, Jordan. Even a crazy room change.
Yeah, we're in a different space.
We're... You're too close.
That's true.
He does need to get further away.
A different space is...
Why don't you scoot that chair over there a little bit?
We're just in someone's office.
It's just like a regular room,
and we're just sort of in it,
sitting next to each other, holding microphones.
It's not at all conducive to a podcast.
No, I will say,
this room is better than the one we usually record in.
I like that it is a little smaller.
It sounds a little better. It smells better.
Well, for now,
it's about to smell like shit. We will be ruining that.
But we don't work here, so...
Yeah, so it's fine.
We also have our
timer going down this time.
Oh, yeah. We're trying something new. When this
timer gets to 30 minutes, counting
down, a nice little song is going to play.
That lets us know the episode's over.
Yep.
Oh, okay.
Yep.
It's so that we stick strictly to our 30-minute limit on Spittin' Silly.
And if we have the pad, we know how much.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And we're already a minute and 10 seconds in.
Oh, we're doing great.
And he started it about four seconds late.
Wow.
It's true.
Somebody forgot to hit start.
I was going to yell, start that timer.
Welcome to Spittin' Silly.
Wait a minute.
Uh-huh.
I thought this was banned.
No, no, no.
So, today we're eating a non-limited time food because that's what we can do on Spittin' Silly.
At Bleepin' the Bleep? Well, it's Jack in the Box because it's what we can do on Spittin' Silly. At bleepin' the bleep?
Well, it's Jack in the Box because it's not banned.
You can say it because this is not Face Jam.
Yep, this is Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast.
Yeah, and so...
Until we ban it here.
That is true.
It's true.
It doesn't mean it can't be banned from Spittin' Silly.
It just hasn't yet.
Sorry, that's a loophole that we invented for them.
Exactly.
So we got sourdough jacks, and we also got little jalapeno poppers.
How's that jalapeno popper?
It's a little poppy.
Yeah.
It's a little hot.
Yep.
It's got a little bit of heat.
Toss me one.
That was a straight-up toss.
Yep.
That was a straight-up lob.
What is this, to explain?
What is a sourdough or whatever you just said a sourdough
jack is their hamburger but on their sourdough bun which is i mean just like sourdough bread
i don't know of another restaurant let alone fast food place that does this no that just does their
regular thing but they went sourdough.
And they've done it for so long that it's like ubiquitous.
It is, yeah.
Hey, guess what they're also still doing?
Tiny tacos.
The sign right as we pulled up and Jordan pointed this out,
I don't even really understand this.
It just said taco taco.
And it had a picture of two regular sized tacos. That's because
you can get two tacos for 99 cents.
That's not what that sign said. No, it didn't.
That sign said taco taco.
It just said taco taco taco taco. It's like they were trying
to advertise regular sized tacos
to us. Yeah, and they did.
And we were going to get them, and then we got sourdough jacks.
No, we were never going to get them.
We were never getting those.
As much as you wanted to, we were not getting the tacos.
Okay, we also got mini churros.
What did you think about mini churros?
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
I liked it.
It was like cream filling or something.
Yeah.
Before we get into the sourdough Jack, I wanted to get into like the little things because
I think that's where Jack in the Box does their best.
I think you're going to eat this burger and you're going to go, yeah, this is, you know,
whatever. It's a real Sonic
situation. Yes. But...
Sonic's main food sucks. Yes.
But Jack in the Box, I think that
they're, like, weird shit. They're tacos,
they're egg rolls. Everything on the peripheral
is good. Everything that's not their burgers,
I think they kill. I mean,
it's stuff you don't usually get at a fast food place.
Who the fuck makes egg rolls?
It's a fast food restaurant where you can can get tacos or egg rolls it's true or what it kept pointing
out going whoo nacho chicken sandwich doing that right after the munchie box the munchie box all
right the munchie box is insane i've never seen that uh and i assume it's just most of this shit
in front of us it's like curly fries and little chicken poppers and French fries.
Unfortunately, the tiny tacos are part of it.
Yeah.
But it's just straight up a tray.
It's all the same color food.
It's all the exact same golden brown, if you're lucky.
Otherwise, it's just brown.
Beige is probably more accurate.
But it's in a giant tray.
But in the advertisement, it's all spilling out and falling all over the place.
I guess insinuating
you know it's just there's so much and i just went i hope it doesn't come like that who wants that
who wants their food advertising a mess shit all over the place when i make a mess get this but
also what jack in the box does is lean in to the you're high hungover audience and currently
craving uh small bites audience.
You're right. It's called the munchie
box, not by coincidence.
Jack's eyes
are red as shit.
I want to see that. I want to see
Jack, his little puppet
head all
blazing down.
Do you remember
the... Do you ever just crave like tacos
you remember the antenna we're doing super big tiny tacos yeah those antenna toppers i knew so
many people like in high school or whatever that would like draw shit all up make them like crazy
metal one or stoned jack or whatever and it's just growing up in san diego at san diego restaurant
it's just where everybody ate after you didn't know bar. Jack in the Box, big South California.
Oh, yeah.
Southern California.
For sure.
I didn't know that.
And then you have friends
who just call it Jack in the Crack.
Oh, yeah.
All the time.
And then everyone got over it
and then for some reason,
it's back.
It's like, oh, damn, baby.
You going after
that jalapeno popper again, huh?
Like a grackle?
Like a grackle.
Like a Jack in the Crack?
No, Jack in the Crack.
A grackle.
But I think that's what
they should call it in Austin. Just call it here in Texas. Yeah. Just call it Jack in the Crack. Jack in the Crack. Jack in the Cr? No, Jack in the crack. A crack? But I think that's what they should call it in Austin.
Here in Texas.
Yeah.
Just call it Jack in the crack.
Jack in the crack.
Jack in the crack.
We'll go back if it's Jack in the crack.
They should put a fucking beak on the Jack in the box guy, and he's a crackle.
I mean, just take his head and pull it down.
Pull it down?
Well, like the pointy part.
Because he's already got a beak on the back.
Oh, you're saying his little hat can be his little beak.
I'm sure there's a string on it.
How else does that hat stay on?
You put it over his nose.
You see Daffy Duck, his will go up.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a classic Daffy Duck situation.
All you got to do is just blast him down.
Yeah, just shoot the jack-in-the-box thing.
With a shotgun.
Until his hat's a beak.
Shoot it downward with a shotgun,
and it'll smoothly land right in front of his face
like a beak.
Yeah, so what's the problem?
How do we know?
And then he'll be Jackal the Grackle.
How do we know that's not
like a predicament he's in?
He's just waiting for somebody
to fix him.
Maybe he already is a bird.
Oh.
He's just been shotgunned.
Oh, damn.
I feel like all the commercials
where it was the guy wearing
like the big head
and all that stuff.
In the 90s and the early 2000s, he was a normal looking man.
He was just a regular guy with his fucking head on.
Human hands.
I feel like he's huge now.
I feel like Jack got big.
He got jacked?
Yeah, Jack got jacked.
He looks fucking big now.
I remember him having a regular human wife.
Yes, he has a regular human wife.
But then his kids are Jack in the Box kids.
Yes, yep, yep.
Yeah, but that just seems like interracial to me.
It's true.
He's like, I'm a Jack in the Box.
She's, I assume, white lady.
Yes.
Wow, what a safe assumption.
Let me guess, her hair color, blonde?
Whoa!
All right, he just watched it.
But Jack would have his parents come,
and they would be Jack in the Boxes.
Right, they're just dominant genes.
So he's fucking outside the box.
That's all that says is his wife's a freak.
I think that's all that insinuates.
She's just in the Jack life.
I mean, I'm just saying.
His grandparents are Jack in the Jack life. I mean, I'm just saying. His grandparents are Jack in the Box people.
His neighbors drive Jack in the Boxes.
I will say their curly fries rule.
They have great curly fries.
Again, all their stuff that isn't their burgers.
We're letting the burgers sit and get cold.
That's what I was going to say.
Now I think we should definitely get into it.
This is.
I've noshed.
This is it.
On these fries and the poppers.
And the poppers are surprisingly hot.
Yeah.
They usually go tame on those for fast food.
Burgers are very small and very flat.
Not sour.
Not sour, though.
Mm-hmm.
No.
Why'd you make a face?
I guess I didn't think about it being sour.
Well, it's sour dough.
You said it.
Mm-hmm.
No.
So factually, it is.
Such a regular burger.
Right.
It's weird.
It's, yeah.
It's a regular burger, but it tastes different because of the sourdough, but not like,
whoa! Just like, oh, this is
off. Yeah. Like, it's a
regular burger, but
flat, like a grilled cheese,
but sourdough. And I don't
know why. Probably
because their burger sucks, and they're just
trying to confuse you. The sourdough
Jack has the
burger, cheese, bacon, tomato, and then I think mayo.
Mayo.
Put something on it.
Yeah.
It's not very good.
There are just, there are so many flavors at play and none of them break through and
none of them are very strong.
It's just kind of like.
And this is not being that picky.
No.
I just had fucking curly fries.
I'm sorry. This is spit and silly.
We do eat on the show.
I had curly fries and poppers,
and they were real good.
They were way better than this burger,
at least as far as just tasting food.
The burger is immediately disappointing
after eating the other two things,
which, again, you said,
and I'm not surprised.
It's like the burgers are there
if you're looking for something else.
Like if you need to disguise the fact that you're just buying a bunch of snacks.
I think Jack in the Box and Sonic said like,
we're going to make a business with just really good appetizers.
And the fast food people said, no.
And they're like, what if we sell burgers too?
And they're like, more.
And they're like, chicken?
And they're like, all right, you can open.
And they're like, cool.
Let's spend the least money possible on the chicken and the burgers we
hate them i want to play them i want a place that actually goes all in on the snacks dude like it's
good let's make that a thing that's a meal yeah exactly as long as they're not all like sugar
snacks i mean none of this is good for you no like i got a limit at sugar yeah yeah but like
here's the thing if If they didn't do
burgers and the only chicken they did was
like nuggets or like
tenders or whatever, and then everything
else was
like what Sonic does with like tater tots
and like all that other stuff,
that's a cool restaurant. You know what? A restaurant
that does stuff like that, that's
really cool, but not
everywhere, is Cookout, which is cookout which is a cookout it's
a southern uh it's mostly in like south carolina and georgia and um the southeast you're making a
mess over there huh they got they got like your regular burgers and stuff but like part of their
like combo meals like hey you can get a corn dog for like a dollar. Oh, hell yeah. A bunch of other stuff on the peripheral.
That's the stuff right there.
Like if I got jalapeno poppers, curly fries, these mini churros, and then like a tater tot.
Do you want a corn dog for a dollar?
I'd always say yes.
I'm pretty sure Sonic has corn dogs too.
Exactly.
Yeah, because they got hot dogs.
Yeah, because being able to like.
It's not very good.
No.
But they got it.
They got soft pretzels too.
Oh, pretzels is a good one.
And it's just like a stick
Right
It's not
Not like a giant
And it's fine
Yeah
But it's better than
Like something packaged
Yeah
You know what I mean
It really is
Why I go there
Yeah
And it's why I would go here
For this shit
Not for this shit
No not
I want this shit
Not this shit
Yeah
Um
Like sourdough jack
Is like what my dad would get
Yeah And that to me Is just like Oh you don't care like sourdough Jack is like what my dad would get.
Yeah.
And,
and that to me is just like,
Oh,
you don't care.
You're just eating this thing.
It's not like,
I love this.
It's just like,
it's a burger.
This is close to our house.
This is close to our house.
And I will simply eat this thing.
And that's really like,
that's,
I can't see what else this serves. It tastes like driving through
Downey, California.
It tastes like getting off
the freeway to get something very
quickly to eat in your car.
It tastes like a road trip.
Yeah, 100%.
It's just
like... It's mainly the burger.
The patty itself just doesn't taste good.
There's something else on here. There's some kind of sauce on here isn't it like not just mayo oh i don't know
there might be there's a ketchup in there too or maybe that's not the juice from the tomato i think
it's i think it's ketchup because i just got like a like i just sucked down a packet of ketchup
well that's what nick grabbed it oh i'm good They asked us if we wanted sauce when they handed me all the bags.
And I looked back at you guys and I said, do we want sauce?
And Nick held up his full hands and said, already got it.
Clutching it.
So we walked in.
And what I will say about Jack in the Box that was nice is they had a seat right at the front facing the register, which I don't really understand.
Like, it was back and away.
But essentially, you're sitting down at the back of the line to order.
And we walked in, and it was empty.
And I said, oh, great, I can watch Eric order.
And I sat down, and he went to order,
which a couple feet in front of me.
And so the three of us were just standing and sitting back there.
I was going to sit down next to you,
and then I noticed the bench that you're sitting on was wet.
It was drenched.
Very wet.
I looked at it and went, surely that's cleaner,
and I just sat down in it.
Then a couple minutes later,
I spotted a guy with a big old bucket that just said sanitizer on it.
He was wiping down tables.
He was wetting them down.
It was soaking them.
They were getting wet.
So we're sitting there, and as you're ordering, I'm spreading sauce all over my face. It is all over your face soaking them. They were getting wet. So we're sitting there and as you're ordering,
I'm spreading sauce
all over my face.
It is all over your face.
I can feel it getting worse.
I can feel it getting worse.
Nick walks over,
he's like,
ooh,
as he likes to do.
And he goes over the sauce
and Jordan was like,
they're going to give him sauce
like you.
And he's like,
well,
I get extras anyway. When we get extras, I'm like, that's true.
He was also doing it so
early. He was doing it as soon as we walked down.
And then he grabs a bunch.
He grabs a bunch. He starts walking back
and Jordan goes, you're not even going to wait for a bag?
We don't have a bag. And he goes,
well, I have hands. That's it.
He says, I have hands. And then he just stood there.
He also said, I'm saving time. He did say he was saving time. So he just stood there clutching them in have hands. That's it. He says, I have hands. And then he just stood there. But he also said, I'm saving time.
He did say he was saving time.
So he just stood there clutching them in his hands.
Never put them in his pockets or anything.
And then you turned around.
You're like, we need sauce.
And he just opened his monkey paws as he was gripping on them.
So then we walked over to get napkins where the other sauce is.
And then Michael went, watch this.
Hey, you want another sauce?
Because he knew he wasn't going to say no. And then Nick went,
ooh, taco sauce. Spicy.
He was like, oh, spicy.
Hot sauce.
My thought was, he surely grabbed
both. And no matter what I say, he's going to take
it. And then,
essentially he did, but he threw me for
a curveball by not just being delighted,
but delighted because he didn't have that one. And that
blew me away, that he didn't take hot one. And that blew me away that he didn't take
hot sauce. He went, ooh, hot sauce!
He only grabbed ketchup. Snatched it up.
Gremlin hands.
It was a pretty good trip.
Yeah. Well, he saw a shopping cart
that... Oh my god!
This is cool as shit. I want to know
the story behind
this because you can see the aftermath of an event and just know.
An event we were not witnessing.
No, yeah, but you know that there's a story there.
Yeah.
Because it was like a big grate over the driveway to get out,
and a shopping cart
from, I assume,
it's like a Mexican grocery store.
Like the Ranchero Market? Yeah, the Ranchero Market.
Somebody had tried to leave
with it, I guess, and rode
it into the... I don't know.
It looked pretty intentional to me.
Part of the grate got pulled out
and then the cart was like
dug into the ground.
The grate had to have been removed at that point, and then it was pushed right into it.
Wee!
But clearly wedged in a way that it could not get out.
Very wedged.
But also, wanted to make sure you saw that there was a cart in this thing.
Right, because they can't get it out, and it's in the middle of the road.
So you got to just throw a traffic cone in it.
So there's just a traffic cone in the cart, in the ditch, in the driveway to the Ranchero Market, and's in the middle of the road so you got to just throw a traffic cone in it so there's just a traffic cone in the cart in the ditch in the driveway to the ranchero market and
jack in the box in the in the part where your toddler child goes they put the the traffic cone
nick got a great story great picture the story there is just it's it truly is a picture says
a thousand words what what do you think happened to the grate? Do you think that was intentional?
Do you think somebody stole it?
Certainly this wasn't a coordinated
thing where it was like, watch what I'm going to do
to this cart. It was
the grate was gone, probably for maintenance
and somebody was like, ooh
look what I'm going to do now that this grate's gone.
I think that's likely.
I don't think it was gone for maintenance.
I also don't think it was gone for maintenance. I think somebody fucking took it. And that's likely. I don't think it was gone for maintenance. No, I also don't think it was gone for maintenance.
I think some other parties probably stole it.
I think somebody fucking took it.
Yeah.
And that was it.
I think that's it.
I can use this single piece of great.
Well, it's like earlier.
This would be great if my driveway floods.
Earlier, when we met up here, there was a TV outside the office,
and it's just sitting there.
I was like, is this free?
It's just sitting there. We like is this free it's just we're it's just sitting there broadcast production space it's not just sitting
there it's going to get mounted how there's no cone on it that tells me it's about that is true
you know what i i retract something i retract my statement was also just sitting there it's true
then you can just simply walk up and take it if i guess anyway now i have
a great and i'm about to have a tv it's just i feel like what we experienced at that jack-in-the-box
is the same at every jack-in-the-box i've ever been to where i go there's a parking lot i should
get out of quickly uh i don't think i i certainly don't want to be here for very long.
Also, also I said when we saw that cart, that's face jam.
Yeah.
The cart in the ditch with the cone on it.
If it were face jam, we definitely all would have had, I think, an individual part.
It's like one of us stole the grate.
Yeah.
Right.
And then somebody probably got the shopping cart stuck.
Then I, you know, I thought maybe this is dangerous. Put a cone there. You should put the grate. Yeah. Right. And then somebody probably got the shopping cart stuck. Then I, you know, I thought maybe this is dangerous.
Put a cone there.
You should put a cone.
Yeah.
And then Nick took a picture.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I mean.
Jack in the box overall.
Like what.
Greasy.
Very.
I'm grease all over the microphone I'm holding.
Yeah.
It's greasy and saucy.
I haven't eaten anything else
today, but I don't want to eat the rest of this burger.
No, I got about halfway through this burger.
I got like four bites, I think.
This next bit in silly is going to be...
Why weren't they putting it in the refrigerator?
It's just getting warm.
The noise he just made is what
I thought in my head, but I didn't vocalize. I thought of it a minute ago and I was just staring at it. It's just getting warm. The noise he just made is what I thought in my head,
but I didn't vocalize. I thought of it a minute ago, and I was just staring at it.
It's too late now.
Our next spit and silly is going to be a soda taste test,
just so you're aware if you're listening to this.
Look forward to it in two weeks.
We have an abundance.
It's fucked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you'll find out in two weeks.
Yeah.
But, but, this one. No jordan doesn't want to eat anything
else and he's about to suck this down he's about to suck down so much fucking sugar i don't know
what's gonna be worse like drinking all that soda without having food in my stomach or eating the
rest of this burger it's a real it's a real catch-22 yeah i'd have to be insane to do it
but also i'd have to be insane not to do it do you think do you think that there's someone
here at the office
that is all about
this particular hamburger
they would have to
there's probably one person that we work with
that's like dude fucking sour joe jack
oh that's it
I was gonna say I'd be more surprised
if it was somebody like from here
who's like big on
Jack in the Box.
Yeah but a lot of people
aren't from here.
Exactly.
There's a good amount of
I'd say the most likely
candidate
fellow
Southern Californian
our friend
from Riverside
John Reisinger.
Yeah.
Like
we're on the same page
a lot with
with him on
on stuff
because you know
he just knows.
Sure, he's from Riverside, but he knows.
The worst part of Southern California.
Yeah, get him.
It's just the trash.
It's like the trash area.
San Bernardino County?
Ugh.
Vile.
Vile.
It's like, oh.
Ouch.
It's like.
No, it's fine.
I've heard that on the radio.
It's fine because he knows as well.
San Bernardino.
Oh, sorry. What was that? San Bernardino It's fine because he knows as well. San Burdino. Sorry, what was that?
San Burdino.
San Burdino.
San Burdino.
Yeah.
Clowny.
I think he's a football player.
Isn't that where they did the...
Isn't that where Brendan Fraser was a caveman?
That was Encino Man.
And he was in Encino, California.
Basically the same thing.
It's pretty close.
It's not too bad.
He won an Oscar.
He did.
Congratulations to Brendan.
Not for Encino Man.
Oddly enough, another Encino Man cast member also won an Oscar.
Who?
Keewon.
Oh, he's in that.
Keewon was also in Encino Man.
Oh, that's weird.
No, it's not.
It's a sequel. Oh! Everything, everywhere, all at once is a sequel to Encino Man. Oh, that's weird. No, it's not. It's a sequel.
Oh!
Everything, everywhere, all at once is a sequel to Encino Man?
They were in two different movies.
No, the other one, Brendan Fraser is in.
The Whale?
The Whale is a sequel to Encino Man.
Yeah, it's just the next logical step.
He gets frozen again.
It is.
He gets frozen again.
Wakes up to a magical whale.
That's not what that movie is about.
I will say, I've only ever seen one frame of what that movie is,. I will say, I've only ever seen
one frame of what that movie
is, so I gotta believe Mike Adams.
He's big on the
poster because he's representing the whale.
He's not actually big.
It's a metaphor.
Yeah, it's a metaphor.
You gotta look at the subtext of it.
It's like Banshees of Inassurance. It's not really about
two people hating each other. It's about something more. About the donkey? It's about theanshee's of Inassurance. It's not really about two people hating each other. It's about something
more. About the donkey?
It's about the party at the end and then the other cave
lady shows up. The cave woman lady.
Oh!
Give this man an Oscar.
That's what they said. It took a while.
But that's what they said.
I'm surprised Brendan Fraser didn't get
an Oscar for The Mummy.
You're surprised? He got nominated, right? People didn't get an Oscar for The Mummy. You're surprised?
He got nominated, right?
People didn't know back then.
He must have.
For The Mummy?
In 2020, he would have won it.
Oh, yeah.
Was it 99?
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah.
You know how everyone's like, Ant-Man should win Best Picture.
It's kind of like that.
Are people like that?
Yeah.
Brendan Fraser should have won for The Mummy. The internet, the general internet. I saw a movie. It's kind of like that. Are people like that? Yeah. Brendan Fraser. Who are these people?
Should have won for the mummy.
The internet.
The general internet.
I saw a movie.
It should win.
I will say, I was in the boat of if Return of the King can win Best Picture for being
The third one?
The wrapping up of a great, massive undertaking of a project.
I at least thought Avengers Endgame should have been thrown in there after 27 movies or whatever yeah yeah like because
at the very least it didn't suck yeah and they wrapped it all up together in a very
not just satisfying but i felt like very well executed way.
And I didn't think it should win, mind you.
But I feel like at the very least, the effort should have been recognized with the nomination. I saw that movie with Jeremy because he had an extra ticket.
Our friend Jeremy.
With Jeremy Renner.
How's he doing?
That's pretty cool.
Well, his family's back.
He's under some renovations right now,
but he's going to be doing all right.
He's also pretty apologetic about killing all those people
for Hawkeye for like the years.
Not Jeremy Renner.
But the character he played.
Right, right.
He wrote in for a couple years.
But don't worry.
Did Jeremy Renner go on a road in the street game?
Well, we don't know.
We know he has the outfit.
It's part of the renovations that he's under.
Well, actually, I think...
Matrix renovations.
...Pete Bishop found the outfit in...
Matrix renovations.
No, don't talk about that,
because Matrix is the reason the mummy wasn't nominated.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh.
There's just too much Neo shit going on.
Not enough room, yeah.
Not enough room, you know?
Don't tell my friend Jeremy about that.
I liked his little old pistols.
Yeah.
Matrix super guns.
How are you going to compete?
What's up with that?
How are you going to do that?
Not a single horse to be found in the Matrix.
What's up with that?
Hang on.
Hang on a second.
You don't even think about it because there's not.
There's not.
You don't need to.
There's got to be.
No.
There's not a single horse.
No, remember when the lady in red?
No, that's a lady.
No.
Shit.
Yeah.
And also, you're thinking about when she cooked the lady in red? No, that's a lady. No. Yeah.
And also, you're thinking about when she cooked the cookies,
they're cookies, not horses.
Right, yeah.
When the spoon bends, it's not a horse that's bending.
What about those horses that attack the Nebuchadnezzar or whatever the ship is called?
Those were sentinels, not horses.
Yeah, they're just sentinels.
Are you sure those aren't horses?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they were.
I'm trying.
I'm closing my eyes and I'm remembering.
I'm picturing clip art of horses.
You guys are changing.
I'm closing my eyes, and I see them pulling the bait horses out of the oven.
Remember they were clomping their way into the ship at the end?
Yeah.
They're waiting to pull Neo out.
Right.
They use the EMP to hold.
The horses are coming.
I thought that's what they wanted.
The horses go to sleep.
You know what?
They stomped Mouse to death.
Remember when he had the machine guns?
That's in the Matrix of Innovations.
That's not in the 1999.
What does that have to do with Jeremy Renner?
Is the steak that Cypher's eating?
The steak that Cypher's eating is horse meat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they won't tell him because ignorance is bliss.
Ignorance is bliss.
And he's like, I know this is just the Matrix telling me it's a steak when it's really a horse.
It's really a horse.
That's what I say when I eat horse meat.
The Matrix is telling me This is a horse
We got there
We got there
So what did
What did Jeremy
Trinity
You could have been back
In the Matrix
Eating horses with me
Start feeding her horse food
Oh man
Come on
So what did Jeremy
Think about Endgame
Oh he loved it
Cool Did he think it should have been A best picture Yeah absolutely I just remember watching it horse food. Oh man, come on. So what did Jeremy think about Endgame? He loved it. Cool.
Did he think it should have been a best picture? Yeah, absolutely.
I just remember watching it in theaters
and going like, that was fun and then
the Oscars to me are such like a
yeah, whatever. Who cares?
Who gives a shit about the Oscars?
They nominate 10 fucking movies. Pick 10 movies.
The Oscars get way too much credit for
like, hey, the Oscars.
Who gives a fuck?
Who are the Oscars?
It's a bunch of fucking old people.
It's a bunch of old people part of an academy.
Who gives a shit?
And some current movie stars who are outweighed by the old white people.
It's just like, I mean, I get it.
But also, there's plenty of movies where, I don't know, what the hell is an Oscar?
You know what I mean?
Like, if you go see a movie and it's really good and it's fun but you know
90% of the movies you see is like oh that
will never get an Oscar and it's just like why
I don't know there's a specific
people have come to
a determination of what is Oscar worthy
and that's not people who see the movies in the
general public there is something
of saying like this movie
was recognized by a collection of
movie experts
and that like I liked it and so my opinion is validated kind of thing to it where I used to
get really caught up in that but yeah but not so much anymore I didn't watch the Oscars but I was
very like interested in finding out who won and I was just like cool good for everyone the only
the only person who won that was cool was the guy from Everything Everywhere All at Once.
And he's like, Mom, I won an Oscar.
And I went, that's so cool because he quit and now he's back.
That's fun. Good for you. That's a good story.
It was also cool.
Harrison Ford was the presenter for Best Picture
and he goes up there and hugs him.
Yeah, it was nice.
They're reunited.
I was watching the USA get destroyed by Mexico in baseball
at the time the Oscars were on.
Yeah, I had that on too.
World Baseball Classic is fun,
but only when you're winning by nine runs in the first inning.
That was more fun than the game against Mexico
where they had actual major league pitchers.
Yep.
So what do you think?
Jack in the box?
Thumbs up, thumbs down.
What did you think about the game?
Hang on.
It's like you looked at the clock. What did I think about the game? Hang on. It's like you looked at the clock.
What did I think about the game?
It's like you looked at the clock and just wrapped that up in a second.
Here's what I thought about the game.
Thumbs down.
Yeah, thumbs down.
They lost.
For who?
The USA.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I didn't know you were thumbsing down.
Boo-SA.
Boo-SA.
That's him.
I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
Yeah.
Why are you burning a flag, Eric?
That's him. I'm not doing it!
Stop!
The numbers just turned red on the timer.
I didn't know they did that.
Well, let me think
about what I think about Jack in the Box.
I'm going to be nice.
I'm just going to give it a thumbs up
or a thumbs down.
The burger was shit and the other stuff was good.
Yeah, so... I mean, if the burger is the main thing, it has to be a thumbs down. The burger was shit and the other stuff was good. That's it.
I mean, if the burger is the main thing, it has to be a thumbs down.
But you don't have to make it the main thing.
Then I'm going to give Jack in the Box a thumbs up.
I'm saying I would go back to Jack in the Box
and not get this burger. I'm going to get those churros.
The churros were good. I went back for the second
one, the curly fries.
If you make a good curly fry, you're set.
When Face Jam
eventually grows to the point that we open up
our own fast food place, it's just going to
be cool.
When we open the rat and grackle,
we're also going to start pulling up all those grates
and shoving shopping carts in.
That'll be in the corner. There'll be one in every
location. This is the first time
I've eaten a burger at Jack in the Box in a really long time
and it sucked. Yeah, it does suck. We missed it.
I don't have the outro.
Hey, thanks for watching
It's Island Time, baby.
It's Island Time.
Tune in every two weeks
to watch something or listen
to it. Hey, we're doing the soda shit next time.
We even told you. We'll drinks.
You'll see what kind. He's still pulling it up.
Wow!
Don't forget! I already said
all this. Tell a friend about the show
where we do whatever we want. Like, not
even have the outro ready.
Goodbye.