A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Are Smashburgers Overrated?

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

Today, Josh and Nicole embark on a flavorful journey to uncover the truth behind the smashburger sensation, asking the burning question: Are smashburgers overrated? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This This This This This Is Mythical Smash burgers are just a trick to put less meat in our burgers. What's next? Smash fries? Smash milkshakes?

No thanks! I'll take my all-American Black Angus cheeseburger with a side of Freedom Fries. Sir, this is a Chili's. This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich! Ketchup is a smoothie! Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich.

A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Anaiti. And, Nicole, my voice is somewhat gone because over the weekend I was screaming at WrestleMania. That's fine.

Yeah, shout out to friends of the show, Becky Lynch and Seth Rollins, for performing valiantly. And the reason I sound like I just hit puberty yesterday. Did they win? No, both did lose the, yeah, the belts. But wrestling isn't real, so. What is real? It depends what you mean by real.

It's like saying, you know, General Hospital isn't real. It's like stage. Well, yeah, because it's a show. It's all planned out and it's all scripted, but, you know, it's. So what is it? So what happens? Like people are just comfortable, like, giving, yeah, because it's a show. It's all planned out and it's all scripted, but, you know, it's... So what is it? So what happens?

Like, people are just comfortable like giving their title away? Like a little bit, but yeah, it's sort of like a negotiation in the pre-process, right? When like the writers and the producers...

It's theater. Oh, wrestling is absolutely theater, but it's also sports because they're flipping around and there's brutality because they're throwing each other through tables. Seth Rollins wrestled The Rock

in The Rock's first match in eight years. That's really cool. And for at least 12 minutes, they were outside of the ring going all around Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, just smashing each other's heads

into railings and stuff. Wow. So did you have a lot of fun? Oh, I had so much fun. Was this like your vibe? This was absolutely my vibe. And I'll tell you what's even more my vibe. I found out recently that Philadelphia

is the world's leading consumer of twisted tea. This is not a twisted tea ad. I love twisted tea. Oh my God. I drink like 15 twisted teas throughout the weekend. I could drink 15 twisted teas throughout the weekend as well. I flew back from Philly this morning and I saw a twisted tea at like a Hudson News. And I almost bought a tall boy a twisted tea to drink for breakfast.

And I didn't because I'm a responsible adult. But that's not what we're talking about at all. Okay. We're talking about we are talking about Smash Burgers. Nicole, it is a craze

that has been sweeping the nation for probably the better part of the decade at this point. Yes, Smash Burgers are huge. They are here to stay. They were once from the past and then we lost our way

and we started making big fancy gourmet burgers with arugula and truffle aioli on them. And then people realized, give me the fattiest ground beef you got. Smash it into a griddle. Put it on a grocery store bun with some ketchup, mustard, and pickles. And that's what makes us happiest. Oh, and cheese.

And cheese. A smash burger without cheese. It's like visiting France without going to Paris. I would really love to just go to Marseille. I know, right? Bordeaux. Bordeaux, yeah, yeah. And Nice.

Nice. I haven't been to France in a million years. I went once. It was fine. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, it was okay. Burgers. Do I think they're overrated?

Is that what you're asking? That's what we're getting at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smash burgers. Are they overrated? Is that what you're asking? That's what we're getting at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smash burgers, are they overrated? No. They're so damn good. Thank God that we steered away from these thick burgers where they're pink in the middle and they're bloody and the blood seeps into the bun. It's not blood.

Whatever. Whatever. Heme. Heme. Like, who cares? But I just don't love it. Like, I love the crispy crispy lacy edges of a smash burger and that juiciness from because the smash burger is also juicy well it's not juicy

it's greasy it's greasy it's greasy but i bet you i bet you if you ask like the average person a juicy burger versus a greasy burger they wouldn't know the difference i agree with you entirely seeing something drip down to their elbow is like their idea of like juiciness. You know what I mean? So I think smash burgers are delicious and awesome and good and I like them a lot.

I will say that Why are you laughing, Becky? I heard Becky. I said Meggie. I heard Becky. I was like, got a new producer over here named Becky. No, God forbid. Any burger that's done well is going to be good. Any burger that's done poorly is going to be bad, right? Right. I've had bad smash burgers.

100%. Same, same, same. There's a couple different kinds of smash burgers, I think. And so, if we really sort of break it down, you're talking about the greasiness factor, right? Yeah. They always have a grease. 100%. Like, most people, when they're making a burger that you would serve medium-ish, medium-rare, whatever, which is like the thick boy burger age, these half-pound patties.

Are you still ordering burgers medium-rare? Not medium-rare. So according to FDA, all ground beef should be cooked to 165, which is well done. Because you can eat steak tartare safely because all the bacteria stays on the outside. It doesn't penetrate through the meat. Right, right, right. Which is why a lot of people will, especially in like Korean food, they'll sear it or they'll just cut it. They'll sear it and then generally cut it off, killing the bacteria, making sure none of it penetrates.

But when you grind meat, you take all that surface bacteria, you grind it in the middle. So technically, I don't think restaurants should be allowed to serve medium rare burgers. You can like sign a waiver at certain like a Denny's. Wait, what? Really? Yeah. One of my chefs from school, Mitchell, remember? Yeah, I love Mitchell. I don't know if this is legal for me to say or not, but one time he went on a road trip with his family, and

he stopped at a Denny's, and he was very particular about having his burger medium or medium-rare. So much so that he went to the guy at Denny's, the server, and said, hey, I don't want my burger cooked to a certain temperature. And then Mitchell was like, and then the guy was like, we can't do that. Like, we have to cook it to this temperature.

And Mitchell was like, no, I will not eat it. Bring out your manager or something like that. And he had to sign a waiver to prove that he wouldn't get sick from the Denny's medium rare burger. Classic. Just harassing Denny's servers to do things they're uncomfortable with. No, that's great. He's the best.

What I'm saying, when you make a thick burger, you don't want a super high fat content if you're, say, only cooking it to 145 or 150 degrees because then the fat's not going to, like, render. Render, yeah. The thing that makes smash burgers great

and not all smash burgers are cooked with, say, a 70-30 blend, which is going to be super, super fatty. But it is best when it's a 70-30 blend. Oh, girl, it sure is for a couple reasons. So when you use 70-30 blend, which is going to be super, super fatty. But it is best when it's a 70-30 blend. Oh, girl, it sure is for a couple reasons. So when you use 70-30 ground beef, a super greasy ground beef, and you really smash it into the griddle, most places use, there's like custom burger smashers now,

but some places- A brick. Just a brick. A big old boot filled with sand. That's what I use. That's the American way. Or just like a spatula. But you see some people, like, they'll really take the spatula and they'll smear the edges of the burger super thin.

And then with 70-30 beef, the fat physically renders out and makes like little cobblestone holes. It's pockets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is how you get those super lacy edges. So all of those like, you know, glutamates are being formed with that Maillard reaction, that heavy crust that you're smashing into the griddle. And so the meat turns into like lace and it's almost a little bit crunchy. There's that kind of smash burger, which I don't know if I'd call that like a capital T true smash burger. But then there's some others that are just like, this is a very thin burger that could even be like 85, 15 or 90, 10. Yeah. A lot of

fast food burgers are actually sort of like emulsified with the fat. And they're leaner than you think they are. So it makes it harder to get that lacy edge, that crispiness. Correct. And then you just have this kind of like thin burger patty. Like you go to an In-N-Out even, right? I went to In-N-Out two days ago. Man, it's just the best.

It was so good. But do you consider that, you don't consider that a smash burger, right? I do. I do. You do consider that a smash burger. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? It's super thin. It's not like.

It's super thin. It's super thin, but it's not like smashed and smeared into the griddle and really getting that like heavy, deep Meyer crust. It's got a good sear on a burger, which any burger should. But I would say, I think it airs more on the smash burger side than say, I don't know, like a McDonald's burger. Sure, there's like a continuum here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a continuum. like a McDonald's burger.

Sure. There's like a continuum here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a continuum. I don't love that really crispy, lacy burger. It is not my favorite for like a somewhat specific reason. Okay. Tell me a reason and then I'll counter with why I think it's good.

It's the same reason I don't love like burnt or extra crispy bacon. Okay. To me, this is a meat. Or even almost the reason I don't love fall-off-the-bone ribs. I think a rib has to have a chew to it because I think that's how the texture of it is best enjoyed. I think when you carbonize ground beef that much and you get it

that crispy, that lacy, you sort of lose all the character of the beef, right? Interesting. Losing the character instead of changing the character? Well, that's an interesting point. I'm out here speaking in normative binaries, you know?

Yeah, yeah. It is an entirely different experience, but in terms of a burger, I want something that is like sumptuous and soft and wet, and I want the crunch to come from like a lettuce or a pickle or onions. Sure, I understand.

And I want the beef to be just like a soft little bit of crisp on the outside. A little bit. But to me, when you're like full on thin air hockey disking them burgers, I think you're like losing so much of the texture of ground beef when you just turn it into carbon, man. That's really interesting because I think whenever you have it like as a whole, whenever you're talking about

really great bun, really great sauce, really great pickles, really great cheese, really good meat, not really good meat, crappy beef. Yeah, it's generally good.

Well cooked, like smash burger, lacy burger. I think that combination of flavors is to die for. I think it's a delicious expression of burgerness. And I think it does a good, I think it's good delicious expression of burgerness. And I think it does a good…

I think it's good. And you eat it… Like when the sauce seeps into those lacy bits, you say yourself one of your favorite textures in the world is fried foods that are

dumped in sauce. Ah, she knows. She knows me. Fried… Think about it. You're eating fried ground beef, albeit… Yeah, it is beef

and it's crispy and it's really… It can be tough at times but soaked in that sauce with pickle juice and like the cheese blanketing over the top american cheese at that really really blanketing over the top over the top getting velvety not melty but velvety with the bun i think it's just a really pure delicious expression of of food more so than like a backyard burger because do i love a charbroiled burger that's like just the faintest bit of pink in the middle softball just kind of round no i don't no no no i

hate that i don't like that like i like i would i'd be willing i'd be i would prefer to eat a patty that was pre-shaped and thrown on the grill instead of a hand-shaped one by like a random dad at a barbecue. 100%. Because it's more, because I think the edges cook a little bit better. It cooks more evenly. And I think it's a more enjoyable eating experience instead of that softball that they just throw on and they put like three like hash marks on it, call it a day. I think there's a special place in hell for people who complain about free food, but I was recently at, let's not name this friend's little like backyard barbecue. And I saw him grilling up burgers and he was shaping the patties themselves. And you can see him like start to shape it in his hand. And it's kind of like a UFO shape where it's

real bloated in the middle. And any chef knows, right? That when you start with a burger patty, you do the old thumbprint trick or you just press the middle out because it's all going to sort of like come together. Yeah. And then it's going to cook unevenly. And I saw this go onto the grill, just looking like a UFO, just like a ravioli. And then I was like, that is going to shrink to being a third the size of the bun. And it turned into like a pepperoni cup almost. Oh, yeah. And it just kind of like domes up.

Oh, and then they're like, how do I get this to cook without burning it? So that could be like, that's the amateur side of like the thick boy burger spectrum, right? That I don't think anybody wants. Well, there's also like actual like thick boy burgers. Like an average, how much would you say like an average smash burger weighs? Like a quarter of an ounce? Is that? Or is it, I'm sorry, like two ounces?

I don't know where that came from. Like two ounces. That's what in an ounce burgers are. So if you get, we grew up with like a quarter pounder being like the big burger at like Burger King, Whopper's a quarter pound. A quarter pound is how with like a quarter pounder being like the big burger at like Burger King, Whopper's a quarter pound. A quarter pound is how much? A quarter pounder, four ounces. A quarter pounder at McDonald's, like they're bigger burger because McDonald's burgers are a tenth of a pound. They're like little meat pucks. Yeah. But you mentioned In-N-Out being like smash burger

adjacent. Yeah. I think we have these like adjacencies. It's on a continuum. I just thought about my favorite sort of thick boy burgers that I've had in my life. And one of them, Father's Office, the place that kicked off. We love Father's Office. I ate it recently and I was. Your flavor profile is different, huh? It's not even the flavor profile. It's the actual cook on the burger. So if the one side of the spectrum on a smash burger is just like burnt, charred, crispy, crunchy edges, super thin and lacy,

the other side of the thick burger cooking spectrum is what they do at Father's Office. So Father's Office in 1999 is sort of credited for kicking off this fancy burger movement in America. And now every fancy restaurant got to have some sort of $26 burger on there where they're making like an onion sous-bis or something. But Father's Office, one, it's on a long roll, which is already weird. It's weird. The jam is weird. It's like a bacon onion jam. The blue cheese.

Is it what is it? Taleggio? Taleggio cheese. Is it Taleggio? Dressed arugula on it. And then they cut it in half. But the cook that I had on this was so much more akin to a seared tartare that you'd get at like a bistro in France. To the point where it was, I mean, it was almost blue rare.

I think it was just wrong. I should have sent it back. But you know how I am for advocating myself. I don't do it. Yeah, I would have done it. So there's that. And it was so unfortunate. Right?

So maybe there's like more cooking error involved in Big Thick Boy burgers. Yeah, but to be fair it's also really easy to screw up a smash burger like speaking from experience the first time i ever made a smash burger did not come out well because i didn't know when to press it down yeah i didn't know how much fat to put in the pan if any like there's there's a definite like there's there's a recipe and a method to making the best possible smash burger. But I do think the error with smash burger is less than like with thick burgers. I'll give you that much. There is a difference between like, you can really screw up a thick burger, but you can kind of screw up

a smash burger. I think I'm really biased when it comes to the smash burger, thick burger paradigm, because I do really miss this fancy burger era. It was such an exciting time. I was like 16, 17 years old, just discovering the magic of food. Where did they sell trademark thick burgers? Was that Carl's Jr.? So Carl's Jr., they came out with like a big old boy burger that's a third of a pound, I believe. Holy crap. So six ounces. And they originally called it the $6 burger because at the time—

I remember the ads. At the time, you would go to like a Denny's and a burger would be $6. You'd go to like a Johnny Rockets and the burger would be $6. And they were like, this is a hefty fast food burger that only probably cost $2.79 at the time that eats like a $6 burger. But then very quickly, inflation happened. And then the actual $6 burger that was making fun of $6 burgers became more than $6. Oh, man. $5 foot long scenario. Thick burger. Yeah. Oh, man. $5 foot long scenario.

Thick burger. Yeah, it really is a $5 foot long scenario. Never hammer yourself into a price. But one of the reasons I like that thick burger movement is because I associate it with creativity. Right? Oh, you mean like the toppings on top? The toppings.

Places where, the places that were putting arugula and truffle aioli and, you know, habanero cured bacon and all this stuff. Yum. I know, right? Ketchup leather.

Shout out to Plancheck. Oh, ketchup leather. All these fun things. They weren't doing it on smash patties. And then this whole revolution happened where all these smash burger pop-ups started happening across the nation. A dime a dozen.

A dime a dozen. And they were all doing very simple burgers, right? Burger sauce, onions, pickles, ketchup mustard. Like, the nation. A dime a dozen. A dime a dozen. And they were all doing very simple burgers, right? Burger sauce, onions, pickles, ketchup, mustard. Like the classics. They don't even want lettuce on it. A smash burger with lettuce is weird. I don't think it is. Internet's great.

That's smash adjacent. Smash adjacent. I think you can put lettuce on a smash burger. You do? What about tomato? Tomato's weird. Right? Why am I weird about this?

I'm also weird about tomatoes on my burgers in general. Also, you don't like tomatoes on your burgers. Do you like roasted tomatoes on your burgers? That is true. But I also love In-N-Out. And In-N-Out without tomatoes doesn't taste right to me. Oh, really? Hmm.

I did have a Smashburger that I think changed my mind on all Smashburgers. Can I guess where it's from? Yes. Will I get it? No. How do you know? I don't remember where it's from. Oh.

And I feel so bad. I feel so bad that I don't. And no, it's a dude. He used to be in PR and now his operation's out of Long Beach and I can't remember the name of it, but they did a collab. Standings? No, not standings. What is it?

What's the other one? Standing room. Not standing room. No, no, no. It's a pop-upings? No, not standings. What is it? What's the other one? Standing room. Not standing room. No, no, no. It's a pop-up. It's not for the win. I don't know, but he did a pop-up at B-Tacaria where he paired up with like an Argentinian like asador chef.

Wow. Like an Argentinian pit master. Don't even get me started. Okay, great. So this was an incredible collab. It was an Argentinian pitmaster who like smoked lamb. And then he gave that smoked lamb to the taquero at B Taqueria. And he turned it into like lamb birria.

I'm looking at it right now. And then they took that lamb birria. And they put it onto a smash burger and served it with a side of consomme. Proudly serving? Proud consomme. Proudly serving? Proudly serving. Proudly serving. I'm so sorry for forgetting your name. But that to me was like,

it's like the ultimate ascension in creativity in a burger and it ate like a burger and it wasn't this big old thick patty that was distracting and let the birria shine. You got to dip it into the consomme. I can see. And getting that smoke and the sumptuousness from the lamb with the melted cheese, with the crispy burger patty, I think

really, really lent itself to a unique experience as opposed to it just being like a big old thick hockey puck. You know what I mean? You think if it was served with a burger that was, let's just say, three times the size, it wouldn't have been the same experience. No, I think it would have been much worse. Yeah. But I think that is why when it comes to simple burgers, I would rather have a thick boy patty. And when it comes to like fun, complicated, fancy burgers, I would rather have smash patties. Why am I the opposite? Well, no, most people are the opposite. Oh, so you're just an edgelord. I'm just an edgelord, dude.

I'm on the Reddit threads. Go search my Reddit history. I dare you. You're a contrarian, right? Do what you did to Ken Bone. My friend called me a contrarian the other day. And I said, that's not me. Yeah.

Most contrarians are just a-holes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about with that? I do, but I don't agree with you because I think that the large puck of meat allows for more flavors to be introduced into it without overshadowing the meat. But then you run into an architecture problem. No, you don't. You push it down.

You're a big baby? No, but that's even— You're being a big baby. Why are you being such a baby about it? I'm not a baby. You're not a baby. I'm a man. I'm a grown man who lost his voice and being such a baby about it? I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby. I'm a man. I'm a grown man who lost his voice

and sounds like a baby now. I don't ever like really remember hitting puberty. What do you mean? Like there was never a point in my life when I was just like, oh, this is puberty now. I just like have gradually become older. Like you didn't find like a hair somewhere and you're like, okay, I'm a boy now. I had almost

no body hair by the time I went to college. Josh, that's impossible. Didn't have to shave my face. Hardly any armpit hair. Like a little bit find like a hair somewhere and you're like, okay, I'm a boy now. I had almost no body hair by the time I went to college. Josh, that's impossible. Didn't have to shave my face. Hardly any armpit hair. Like a little bit of armpit hair. I'm going to ask you a question, but I don't think it's appropriate because you're my boss. Yeah, none. No way!

Yeah, I mean, pretty much none. What? That's not possible. So with a thick burger patty, right? With girls, you just get your period, right? Is getting your period the same as hitting puberty? I don't think so at all. I'm going to step in as a man and say I don't believe that.

Maggie? I thought so. Yeah, when you get your period, you're in a... Can you Google that? Can you Google that? And then we're just going to go... Look at us being Joe Rogan over here. Hey, Google it.

Hey, Google why parakeets are endangered. Thick burger patties. Maggie, Google why it'd be like teen boy never hit puberty, question mark. Teen boy never hit puberty become man, question mark. See what comes up. Thick burger patties. I think when you're smashing the bun down then you're sort of

negating the architectural purity of that burger right the bun there's no such can I tell you something there's no such thing

as architectural purity in a burger I'm a I'm a big architectural purist when it comes to every sandwich you're not a purist

you're the antithesis of a purist because you like bottomings instead of toppings reactionary yeah you're right yeah

wait no no but bottomings can I I think, be pure. I think bottoming is a pure act of service to a burger. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Are you sure? I think there'd probably be a historical precedent for that. I don't think people only top burgers. I think—

Oh, you piece of crap. Just kidding. But every sandwich, every sandwich, right? I had many a Philadelphia cheesesteak. Yeah. I had a cheesesteak from a place called Angelo's. Was it so good? I was there with normie friends who aren't like into food.

They enjoy eating good food. Okay. But like if they eat a good cheesesteak, they're like, yeah, it tasted nice on my mouth. And then I'm the one that comes in and I'm like, well, Angelo's is using a significantly crustier bread than say an Amoroso or a Lisio's roll, right? And what they do is there's, like, more steak in Angelo's. It's just, like, got more heat capacity, which means there's going to be more steam, which is not only, one, going to melt that delicious Cooper Sharp American cheese into a lovely sauce, but all that steam, they then wrap the sandwich double in butcher paper.

And so it creates— And foil? No foil, just two layers of butcher paper, almost the same way a brisket would be wrapped. So then that steam actually softens the bread. And so like the bread's a little too thick and crusty for a good cheesesteak roll, but then all the steam from the inside-

You gotta let it sit. It's like both sort of eating at the interior of the bread, creating that like bread goo and then softening the exterior bark of the bread, make it the best cheesesteak I've ever had. Can I just say bread goo is an underutilized thing in food? But isn't it the best part? Yeah, but you get bread goo from a smash burger?

You do. Of course you do. If anything, you get better bread goo. You get better bread goo. Because what you really have to do is bread grease. Always. The grease makes the goo. There's a saying in Farsi called nunzid kababi,

which is the bread underneath the kabob, and it's the best bite of food. But is that also a metaphor for the younger sibling being better than the older sibling? Not better. They're ready for marriage now. Oh. Oh, I didn't know that was part of it.

So when do girls hit puberty? So when... Google 31-year-old man hit puberty question mark. See when it's going to happen for me. Josh, we can't do this right now. I don't know, man. I got my T-levels checked. They're not like very high.

Mine are so high. You want to switch testosterone levels? Okay, let's do it. One, two, three. I wish I had testosterone levels. This is such a sick stash. Bread goo. 100% better on a smash burger.

You don't even get… There's so much toppings and bottomings on like a thick burger. You don't even get… All you get is a bun. Maybe warm. Maybe not warm. Maybe not even toasted with sauce on it. It doesn't contribute to the bread goo index. But a smash burger is so compacted and everything is so

together that it has no choice but to bread goo you know what i mean there's no there's no if and or buts about about it like it has to happen and it really contributes to the burger eating experience you know a burger has the best bread goo and it's not quite a smash burger but it's like spiritually similar give me a second will i know it yeah it's like it's like maybe the it's like spiritually similar. Give me a second. Will I know it? Yeah, it's like maybe the first kind of. It's like maybe the first ever sort of like major burger chain in America. Oh, not kookaroo. If I said like John Cho. If I said like, what was he?

He was like part of Obama's administration somehow. Why are you looking at me? I don't know. Maggie, you're the resident. Did you figure out why a 31-year-old man hasn't hit puberty yet? You've hit puberty. You have armpit hair.

We don't know that. Yeah, but it's pretty recent. And chest hair. I've gotten exponentially more chest hair from 28 to 31. White Castle. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Sorry about Cal, Penn, and John Cho.

White Castle has the best bread goo because they... Oh my God, I love White Castle. They put the freaking bun on top of the beef while it's raw. Yeah, while it's raw. It's the best. So it steams together. But I think that is probably another factor that lends well to Smash Burger is the fact that it all, when you wrap it, it all steams together.

Better than like a thick burger, which generally has to rest, or you're getting all the juices seeping through it. Right. Like a steakhouse burger. But have you had like a steakhouse burger? So, so, so, smash burgers, right? You're using commodity beef. You kind of can't use too coarse of a ground. Otherwise, that fat pocket's going to be too big and it's going to fall apart.

The laciness won't happen. So it's sort of like by definition has to be a quote unquote worse ground beef. That's okay. Which, no, I agree. I agree. And I've, I did not expect coming into this podcast to be like a smash burger lover,

but thinking about the creative smash burgers I had, I like the pure stuff. It's just not something that I'm going to like seek out very often. I'll always seek it out. I want you to give me something.

I want you to put like roasted green chilies on it and I want you to put all that garlic and goli. I'm so the opposite. Just like bun, cheese, bread, sauce is like my jam 100%.

But that's what I want with a thick burger. Because then you can use like great ground beef. Remember that ground beef that we got from that fancy butcher shop in LA, Gwen? It's like their dry aged steak trimmings. You form that into like a half pound puck and you cook that perfectly medium. Slap that on a good bun with like cheese and a sauce.

I don't even, frankly, I don't even need cheese. Oh, I need a cheeseburger. My favorite food ever. Number one favorite food of all time. Is it really? I love cheeseburgers. I don't think I knew that. I'm going to kick over.

I kicked over a water bottle. It's fine. It's illegal contraband in the office now. They ban plastic water bottles in the office. Yeah, yeah. And I bought 12 of them for personal use because I don't give a damn. Oh, yeah.

The woman who walks into restaurants and demands plastic straws bought a bunch of plastic water bottles. Yeah, yeah. Go talk to me. I'm drinking out of an old soup can. That's your fault.

I'm drinking out of an old soup can You want to know why you're doing it? Because you love attention. You love it. You crave it. You need it. Red to filth.

Am I right? Oh my God. Did I scratch you with my nails? You moved too fast. Oh, the white guy hosting a podcast wants attention. Who would have thought? I tried to slap you, but my nails got you. Manetta Tavern.

Oh, I really want to go. That is a great, thick, pure burger. That, if it were a Smashburger, would be significantly worse. I haven't had it, so I can't judge it, but I think that Smashburgers are having their renaissance moment and we should just accept it and ride that en vogue wave. Well, Smashburgers are

here to stay. One, from just seeing them all around and people love them, and I'm just the weird contrarian being like, too crispy. But Jack in the Box had a recent really big win. Did they? In January, they introduced the Smashed Jack. I've not yet had it. I've heard very good things. I kind of want to go get one today. But they complete soft launch. They didn't do any media coverage of it. No paid ads. And they

sold 70,000 in the first day. They sold out in two months. And Jack in the Box is sort of like betting their future on Smash Burgers in a way that no other fast food restaurant has, right? Like, Burger King was always, the whole bet was on the charbroiler. I'm looking at the photos and they ain't smashing. Well, that's what I'm saying. They're thick. Is that just Smash Burger appropriation?

Yeah. You know? They're just capital, you know what they're doing? They're just doing a classic California burger and the edges are just a little bit scalloped and they're selling it as a smash no i don't think there's any actual smashing going on do you think that then is the death knell for smash burgers being a cultural institution no just because just because jack in the box is is doing this doesn't mean that they're overrated i think that's how it happens though i think that's how it happens i think we found out that stop smash burgers are overrated and they are a deceptively skilled burger to make and that

people are going to find out once they hit the mass market and the jacks in the boxes people will lose interest and we'll go back to our true form the thick eight ounce medium rare e coli causing burger baby oh why is it still cold in the middle? I don't like it. Extra spinach. Do you think you actually have the time to make a big batch of sliders for a crowd? You don't. You're lying to yourself. Well, good news is Spork drank the best frozen sliders, so you can be your own favorite caterer.

Well, all right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say, and now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there. It happened. Wacky. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casserole.

But before we get to your second favorite segment on the show, it's time for your first favorite segment on the show. That's right. It's Review a Review. My favorite. The segment where we try and goad you into giving us five-star reviews on Apple Podcasts for what goals? Unclear, but we like them. This one is from atsmara522, five

stars. Now, Nicole, I think we got a little bit of a bias on our hands here. I'm into it. Because the person who's picking these reviews to review, oh, they're sitting right next to us. She's not next to us. She's across the way, and she's making eyes at me to read this. I didn't pick this one. This was Mindy. I asked.

Okay, Mindy. Okay, great. Mindy and Mindy sound really similar. Have you ever seen them in the same room? I haven't. this one. This was Mindy. I asked. Okay, Meggie. Okay, great. Mindy and Mindy sound really similar. Have you ever seen them in the same room? I haven't. Never, never. Great podcast, but it needs more Meggie. The people love Meggie. Great podcast, super interesting topics, awesome host, and always a good vibe.

You might not think you'll learn anything new, but Nicole and Josh always have some cool fact or story that you've never heard. Listen to the podcast. Watch Mythical Kitchen. You won't regret it. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars. I agree. Maggie, you're welcome on the pod

whenever. Aw, I won't, but thank you. Hi, guys. This is Chris. I just wanted to say something real quick. It's not really an opinion, but it's more so something that I think you guys should try. I know a lot of people, like my friends and stuff, don't like

french fries on their sandwiches. But being from Pittsburgh, we do French fries on sandwiches and French fries on salads. We have a sandwich up here. It's called the Pittsburgher at Permani Brothers. And it has coleslaw and French fries on it. And I just think that you guys should try it. I think it is an amazing sandwich. But I guess it would be an opinion here of...

I lost the plot. Do you think that fries should belong on sandwiches? Love your guys' podcast. Thanks so much. The first thing you said was an opinion. I think you should try this. The second thing when you said, I'm going to tell you an opinion,

was actually just a question. Which I love for that which I love for that. I love for that. I love for that so much. Primanti Brothers. You been? No. Why not?

What is it? Primanti Brothers is, I believe, a mini chain out of Pittsburgh where, as he said, they put French fries and coleslaw as like a de facto condiments on their sandwich. And it is really, really fantastic. I've never had it. But I went to Permani Bros and that's the first time I also said with a straight face to a man, gabagool. And then he said, what? And I said, capicola. He goes, okay.

But I got the capicola and egg sandwich. You got wrecked. I'll tell you why it works. I don't think French fries belong on every sandwich. But the hot dog that we did with Pinks, those French fries that are covered in ranch dressing, nacho cheese, bacon, and jalapenos. Right, right, right. There's certain

like algebraic functions that cancel out each other in food. And so like the jalapenos, the ranch, and the fries cancel each other, right? Because that's a perfect Okay, think about this. That's a perfectly composed bite of food what is it?

jalapeno french fry ranch dressing or nacho cheese okay let's stay let's try let's try let's try just nacho cheese

jalapeno french fries okay that's a perfect bite of food right? and then you're left with hot dog bun ranch

and bacon pretty good bite of food I'd eat that right? yeah so then you put that all together that's two perfectly composed balanced bites of food okay right? nothing that. Right? Yeah. So then you put that all together. That's two perfectly composed, balanced bites of food. Okay.

Right? Nothing is throwing off the balance. I mean, the second one is not perfect. It's not perfect. Well, that's why I was trying to put the ranch on the fries with the jalapeno. Oh, is that what you were doing? Because then you just get a bacon cheese dog, which is also great. Oh, okay.

I see what you're doing. I didn't know what you were doing at first. You're just being a crazy, wacky guy. Well, I'm trying to build the algebra here. So then you take a permanent- I'm not good at math. Okay. Well, I am. So if we could keep talking about this- Are you good at math? Well, I'm trying to build the algebra here. So then you take a permanent... I'm not good at math. Okay. Well, I am.

So if we could keep talking about this. No, I'm not. SAT math is... I'm good at basic math. I'm only good at sandwich math if I'm being honest. Sandwich architecture, sandwich math.

Yeah. Sandwich, sandwich poli-sci. I think french fries on sandwiches is a great idea. Gatsby from South Africa, great sandwich. I think french fries need sandwiches is a great idea. Gatsby from South Africa, great sandwich. I think french fries need

if they're on a sandwich, they need something to cancel it out. They need a cold, a crunchy, an acidic. And that's what I believe. I don't agree with that. Have you ever heard of the chip buddy from the UK? Just gonna say what an abomination of a food. Oh, really? I mean, I don't know. Have you ever had it? I've never

had one. You just think it's bad. No, I know what it's going to taste like. No, you don't. Do they put a condiment on it? Butter. Butter. Oh, God. No. I think there's butter on it. Yeah. What's up, Josh? What's up, Nicole? Hey. This is Davis calling from the sunny state of Florida. Love the name Davis. So I grew up in the Florida swamp and I grew up eating this thing called swamp cabbage. Swamp? Yes. That's right. It was just completely normal for me, and it is actually the heart of the palm tree. I feel like out there in California, y'all call it some fancy thing like heart of palm or something. I love heart of palm. But here, I mean, they're everywhere in the swamps, so people just, you know, get the heart of a palm tree and cook it up with some special seasonings.

And there you go, swamp cabbage. So what are your thoughts on it? Thanks. I'll tell you right now. I eat heart of palm, pickled heart of palm, like candy. I just open up a can and I eat it. And it's so good. I put in so much stuff.

I love canned. Do you feel like Jewish people love heart of palm more than other people? Wait, yeah, I grew up eating heart of palm and i don't know why you didn't get right i it was it's it's it's just in the soup in the jewish supermarket like like there's rows and rows of it they're in glass jars they're in cans they're in whatever they're whatever receptacle i love heart of palm and since i've started living on my own not on my own with my husband i started living with my husband. I've been buying it more and I'm happier because it tastes so good. Pickled heart of palm is my S-H-I-T.

I did not realize that heart of palm and swamp cabbage are the same thing. When I was in the Louisiana Bayou, they were talking all about swamp cabbage and how they make like fried swamp cabbage, swamp cabbage stew, stuff like that. Yeah, did not realize it was heart of palm um so funny that swamp cabbage didn't take off as a name uh because i personally love it um but no that's that's really rad also i believe it's like an invasive species it's called like the sable palm yeah sounds i mean i have only had heart of palm in that pickled way i've never had like heart of palm like cut directly excuse me from like the

heart of from the palm or like chopped up in like a like a stir fry. I've never done that before but I'm sure it's delicious. A lot of people are using

hearts of palm to make like a little vegan ceviche riff which That's true. I actually did that one time. I made vegan calamari by using heart of palm. Yeah, it's great.

I've had it fried like in a vegan po' boy instead but even not in a vegan option. I just I love fried vegetables. I love spicy acidic vegetables. Yeah. Hearts of Palm, aka swamp cabbage. Underrated. Fantastic. Underrated.

Great opinion. Hi, Josh and Nicole. My name is Lori. I'm from North Carolina. And my weird food opinion is that when I worked at Subway, I had a co-worker who wanted me to try a soft pretzel with cinnamon sugar on it, and she wanted me to dip it in the nacho cheese that you would usually dip the salted pretzel in. Makes sense. And believe it or not, it was actually really good. So thanks. This makes sense to me. I get it. I get it. I don't know how we got here, but I get it. It's almost the only flavor combination in the world that I do not enjoy. That's silly.

It's the umami, right? Cheese is loaded with umami. Yeah. And then sweet. Yeah. Like, I don't even like a miso chocolate chip cookie. Oh. Well, I'm sorry.

No, Nicole, no, no. You were so excited about it. No, now I feel like I brought the mood down. I'm so sorry. You kind of did. Hey, no, come on. I'm sorry, buddy. No, you look No, no. You were so excited about it. No, now I feel like I brought the mood down. I'm so sorry. I didn't. I didn't. No. You kind of did. Hey, no, come on. I'm sorry, buddy.

No, you look sad, right? I don't like it. I don't like being sad when you're happy. It makes a better podcast when you're happy. And also, the nacho cheese that comes with the pretzel isn't even like that seasoned. So it's just kind of just like cheese. It's kind of like gooey salt. It's a gooey salt.

Yeah. And like, it's really good if you just try it. You're chewy sweet. You got your gooey salt. You're happy, buddy. You got your little yellow salt goo. It's really good if you just try it. You got your chewy sweet. You got your gooey salt. You're happy, buddy. You got your little yellow salt goo. It's really good. Just try it.

You're scared. You're just scared. I'm not scared. I've tried it before. You haven't tried this before? I've never tried it before. I lied to you. But what I've tried, hear me out.

I clocked you. I clocked you. Sin a twist with Taco Bell nacho cheese. Oh, yeah. Have you tried that? I don't like it. But this is like styrofoam. I like the styrofoam taste of it.

No, but you have. It's like shrimp chips. No, listen. You have to try it with the pretzel because it's soft and it lends itself to the cheese. It works. It works. I'm on your side. It works. There's like that foot smell, right? The foot smell of cheese. What's the problem with feed? No, no. I love feed. I love cheese.

But people say that cheese smells like feed. It's that particular sort of like funky umami that you also get from miso. You get from several fermented soy things. You get from fermented vegetables. But also with the like glutamate taste of MSG, I once tried to rim a margarita glass with MSG and it was awful. It was awful.

That lingering chicken broth taste with the sweet is terrible. Yeah, but you're talking about combinations that just, they're rooted in like nothing. It's just, it's word salad. You're just making word salad. Is that like Pittsburgh salad? No, that's a meatball and french fry salad. Yeah, buddy, yeah.

No, I'm telling you, I understand this and I value it and I think it's a great flavor combination. I feel like we work at Subway right now. Remember a couple- I feel like we both own a Subway and you're just not seeing me on like margins. Same store sales are so low in Subways right now. Oh my god, they're getting destroyed by Jersey Mike's.

Destroyed. Remember that time I was talking to you about foods that are sort of lost to our childhood and I was like, I haven't had just a hot chocolate in like a decade. One, had one at WrestleMania because it was freezing and it was the greatest thing I've ever had. Another thing that I have lost to the sands of pre-adolescence is soft pretzels. I have almost no room in my life for soft pretzels these days.

No room? Well, there's room. I don't make room for soft pretzels, I guess. There's room for anybody, anything if you make room for it. If you had a soft pretzel, let's say tomorrow, do you think it would help you reconnect with that childlike wonder you've been missing out for the past few years and then i could finally hit puberty by reconnecting with my childlike wonder yeah uh yeah no i mean i have no other better guesses i could like go see an endocrinologist but i'm not going to do that go see an endocrinologist her name is auntie ann i was

gonna say i see one she's great You should see an endocrinologist. Life's short. Last opinion, Maggie. One more, Maggie. Come on. One more for the Gipper. Win one more for the Gipper. Come on.

This next one's a little bit emotional. Get ready. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Okay. Hi. My name is Amber from Illinois. And I don't really have a hot take this time around. I shared some previously when you were text only.

Mine was not liking food that tasted the color purple and then mixing the Mountain Dew and Pepsi to make Pepsi Dew. But really, I'm calling because you guys meant a lot to my brother, Jason, and he passed away at the end of September. And he's the one that introduced me to you guys and the whole Mythical Entertainment crew. Um, but he especially loved you guys and what you guys do. So I just want to say thank you and know that you did make a difference to somebody. And during his last few days, he enjoyed watching some of your videos in the hospital. So thank you very much, Josh, Nicole, and all of Mythical. That's very sweet. Thank you for sharing that story. Thank you. That's very kind. And may your brother's memory be a blessing.

And we appreciate it. And I'm going to cry now. I'm going to cry now. It is. I don't know. I tend to be cynical sometimes. I tend towards negativity. But so many times when we're doing anything like we did the book signings recently or meet and greets.

And you have a lot of people that are telling you how much you mean to them and it's it's almost a little bit strange because it's like I don't have the opportunity to have that reciprocal relationship right like I didn't know your brother and I'm sure he and I would have gotten along great right and been friends but it's it's strange having that sort of one-sided relationship. And I used to be a little bit cynical about it. And then I started just sort of accepting the fact that we and all the things that we all do here mean a lot to people in very real ways. And I don't know, it created like a lot more healthy of a mindset and it made me, I don't know, look forward even

more to coming into work every day to do things like this, knowing that, you know, on the one hand, it could just be mildly entertaining you on your commute. And on the other end of the spectrum, it could be, you know, your last days and you want some comfort in a hospital bed. And I don't know, there's something really beautiful about that. And it's something that I straight just promised to like not take for granted in the future. And that's something I've been thinking promised to like not take for granted in the future. And that's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. So thank you for sort of like reifying that in my mind. And yeah.

Hey. Good job. Proud of us. Proud of us. And we're proud of all you out there for doing it in the hot tub. There's no good way to wrap it now. Wrap it up. No, honestly, that was really sweet.

And I appreciate it very much. And thank you for sharing that. And thank you. I don't know. I don't know. It makes me sad. That's something I've been thinking about a lot recently. Yeah.

You know. I was talking to MatPat about it, too. I was like, yeah. Yeah. It's a really cool, unique position to be in. Yes. It's a very unique, awesome position to be in, and I'm happy that we can create refuge and like a space of i don't know escapism and like just two buddies talking it's like special like two buddies talking over something silly like jack in the box versus what's another restaurant oh my puberty

like talking about something as asinine as like like, Burger King versus Jack in the Box can make someone smile. Yeah. Just because we're two friends. And that was all something that, I mean, I think you and I have, like, thought consciously about. Yeah. You know, in a way that there was a point where we were, like, do we, like, structure this podcast? So it's, like, a point, counterpoint, debate, and we're, like, keeping points. And at the end, we decide who.

Even the subject matter being more serious or being a little bit darker. It's like, no, we're two people hanging out, and we invite you to come hang out with us and be part of the conversation, so. Yeah. And I'm going to say your part. And on that note, thank you for watching. A hot dog

is a sandwich. We got audio-only episodes every Wednesday and a video version here on YouTube every Sunday. And if you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, give us something sincere and emotional. That was really sweet.

That made me feel really good. Yes. Give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our other videos. We have really fun videos

like last meals and fancy fast food. And Josh does this really cool thing where he gets groceries from fast food and Josh is this really cool thing We're like he gets like groceries from one store and then he got them from another store And then he makes the meals and then like Jordan from sport comes and tastes them That's actually it's a really fun thing we do I like doing it See you next time