A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Beer vs. Wine vs. Hard Alcohol

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

Today, Josh & Nicole discuss which is the best form of alcohol, beer, wine, or hard alcohol? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. You know what they say, beer before liquor, never been sicker. Yeah, liquor before beer, your pee'll be clear. It's, that's not the line, Josh. You have to drink water for your pee to be clear. It's never been sicker. The main ingredient in beer is water. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Linaiti.

And I was going to do the line from Forrest Gump. I want to see if you guys remember this. It's a very famous line, and I'll deliver it with accurate Tom Hanks impression. I gotta pay. Nicole didn't remember that line. That really floored me. That was a seminal point. a lot of lines

from movies. I've been on a real big boat. That's maybe my favorite one. Anyways, today You're so crazy. It's the end of January depending on when the heck you're listening to this. Oh, yeah.

By this time, you should have given up on dry January. Yeah. Probably gave up a couple weeks ago. I've never been a dry January person. I also, I don't know if you remember this. We had a podcast about. Are you particularly wet? In my head, because like dry means sober.

And so I was like, you don't, what I was asking is like, you don't drink that often though. Like you're not a lush. I'm not a lush, but when I drink, I enjoy it. That is such coding for like, yeah, I'm going to binge drink. Yes. Yeah. So remember when we had that New Year's resolution Like podcast And like I just don't set resolutions Because I think it's silly

I like put a word on it Like this is the word of the year And by like March I forget it So there's no Did you have a word of the year this year? Not this year What about last year? What was it?

Last year I think it was routine Because I have none I kind of just wake up and I'm like Today's gonna be a new day What am I gonna do? Who knows? Literally, my whole life was like Russian Roulette. Like a vaudeville actor whacked out on one of them cough syrups that had, you know,

pretty much, pretty much. But it means codeine and heroin in it. All I knew was I would get up at nine for work and go home at six. But other than that, in between, who the fuck knows? You get up at nine to get here at? No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get up at 730 and then, like, who knows what the day has in store for me.

But when it comes to like dry January, never done it because I think it's silly. Yeah, no, I fully agree. I have tried it in the past and I only drank maybe twice, which is not bad. That doesn't, yeah. I mean, I've tried to go through like stints where I haven't drank. Like for example, one month, I think it was in October, this October, like I didn't drink from the 1st until the 31st, but I drank like twice because I was like... I know, that's how it goes.

I was at a baby shower, and I was at a wedding, like, you know? Yeah. Mitzvahs. Gotta drink for mitzvahs. Gotta drink for mitzvahs. It's a bracha. It's a bracha. It's a bracha. Are you 15? Yeah. It's a bracha. It's a bracha. It's a bracha. Are you 15? Yeah. It's a bracha.

Anyways, so if your dry January has come to an end, we are here to help you make the most efficacious drinking decisions possible. We're talking about beer versus wine versus liquor. Also, if you are of age and use responsibly, because when it comes down to it, alcohol is a really important part of human history and development. Yeah. Didn't like doctors put like whiskey on like open wounds and like wars and stuff?

Yeah. And that is actually, that is a valid way. Point for hard alcohol. So I guess it's not that much of a point because alcohol is so poisonous that bacteria will die in it. So that's why you used it to clean a wound. I can't believe it. And so if you can use it to clean a wound and then you drink it for funsies to turn your brain off a little bit, I think that might be more of an indictment on alcohol. But no, alcohol is the original recipe for beer, for instance, was an ode to the goddess Ninkasi in Mesopotamia.

So it was made on purpose. It was never like an accident. Like, oh, like I left this like some natural yeast in Mesopotamia. So it was made on purpose. It was never like an accident, like, oh, like I left this, like some natural yeast got into this barley liquid. I'm sure that's probably, I feel like everything was a little bit accidental thousands of years ago,

like cheese, you know. Intention was a little, there was no such thing as intention. It was survival. Yeah, I don't think somebody looked at a cow and was like, all right, so I'm going to pull on those little hangy thingies.

A white liquid's going to come out. I'm going to slaughter that cow. I'm going to remove right, so I'm going to pull on those little hangy thingies. A white liquid is going to come out. I'm going to slaughter that cow. I'm going to remove its stomach. I'm going to put the hangy thingy juice into the stomach, and then I'm going to let that sit, and then that's going to top my Caesar salad. I don't think they did that. Have you ever milked a cow? I've never – no. Have you?

Can we go milk a cow? I don't know that I need to. Why do you need to? What do you mean? It's something – I don't look at a cow being milked and go that's in my bag. That's what I should be doing right now. That's not on your bucket list? No, I want to kill a chicken.

Okay, how about we just go to a farm? Oh, yeah. Josh, you know what we should just do? Wait, wait. Side note. Tangent to the tangent to the tangent. We should go and live on a farm for a week. Mythical Kitchen should go to a farm for a week. Yeah, real simple life stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I'm Paris, you're Nicole.

Well, obviously. That's hot. Okay, no, but I really do want to do that. I'm totally in. Me,

you, Lily, V, Trevor, Maggie comes with a camera, and we just, you kill a chicken, I milk a cow,

they tend to the field, and we just hang out together, and we rotate it. put them all in the field. we rotate hang out together. And we rotate it. They're showing the sorghum crops. Like we're going to learn how to needle point? I don't know that I want that. I'm very content with my life right now.

And I'm very content with my relationship to drinking. Nicole, beer, liquor, wine, what is your poison and why? It's hard liquor. Yeah. Wait, why though? I have a very specific reason specific okay for me it's a matter of volume i feel like when i have a glass of wine versus a pint of beer versus a cocktail the volume of alcohol to the amount it poisons me is higher right because like you said, it's poison.

So I don't know, something about just drinking a cocktail makes more sense or just having a shot and like a, like a. You as a chef and as frankly a leading food personality in the media space. Me? Are deciding that liquor is best because of its volume to poison ratio. Nothing to do with like the taste or the history. Josh, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. In life, you have to chase.

Sometimes in life, you got to linger on some things, you know. Sometimes in life, you want to savor certain things. And, you know, take the slow route, you know. Just have a glass of wine. Drink a beer sitting down with your buddies. No. I want cocktail and I want it now. There is nothing better.

So when you're drinking, certain things become more fun. I feel I need to explain this. Are we going to get like a demonetized? Yeah, probably. Again, eating food is one of those. Like, there is nothing better than sitting down at a big communal meal and starting it with a single stiff drink to whet the appetite, right? That's literally the point of an— What's W-H-E-T, not W-E-T. People assume it's W-E-T.

No, I've already said the word wet too much this podcast. No, to whet the appetite, right? And that's literally the point of an aperitivo, right? Yeah, is an aperitivo like to open the mouth? Yes. Or open the stomach? I don't know. I don't think there's a literal translation, but... Well, aper, like, apre, is after. That is before.

So digest... Okay. Digestive is to digest it. Oh, aperitivo is to open. Yeah, see, I was close. Open the stomach. Interesting. And then digestivo is to digest your food. But it sure does open the stomach. So my favorite drink is when you get to a restaurant, especially on like a weeknight, right? Or even a dinner party. But it's like a weeknight and you have to travel kind of across the city. You drove

20, 30 minutes. You like doing that? No, no, no. I hate that. I hate that. You got to travel 20, 30 minutes. You just got off of work. You tried to gussy yourself up in the work bathroom a little bit. You struggled searching for parking a little bit. And then you get that first sip of a Negroni. Negroni. Equal parts gin Campari and vermouth with an orange twist on it. That first sip, it's so bitter. It is bracing. It is saline.

It's almost Campari. It almost reminds me of pickle juice in a weird way. It's the aromatics in it. Okay. Like Kool-Aid pickles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it – and then it is basically pure liquor, right? It's liquor with a little bit of fortified wine.

It's all alcohol. It's all alcohol. Right? And you get one of those in you and suddenly the world is a little bit lighter and you're way hungrier and you want to make more conversation with people. Also, the bitter taste of aperitivos are generally bitter, right? The bitter taste of that makes you want to get it out of your mouth more.

Yeah, I think that's fair. Did you know that there was actually a study done that says people that like bitter flavors like Negronis and IPAs have a dark-sided tendency? Yeah, tend towards sociopathy. Did you see this? Sociopathy or psychopathy, I can't remember.

What are we going to do about that? We both love Negronis. I think we both tend a little bit towards psychopathy. You and I literally just had a discussion about how we're both reckless when it comes to decision-making with no regard for self, right? Yeah.

But I literally think that is part of it because to enjoy bitter flavors is literally you deliberately telling your body Poison, poison? Yeah. But I literally think that is part of it because to enjoy bitter flavors is literally you deliberately telling your body Poison, poison, poison. I want poison. I like pain. That's what it is, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's, you know, radicchio, bitter melon. There's other foods out there that got that. But to me, alcohol is specifically interesting because no wine will ever taste as good as Welch's grape juice in terms of what your body wants.

But what about all the – At the end of the day, we're hummingbirds. We want sugar. Sugar is the thing that gives us energy. Yes, yes. We love sugar. Anything else that we – wine, beer, alcohol, it's all poison. We've all convinced ourselves through thousands of years of human evolution and culture that we should drink it.

Yeah. Well, it's interesting because, you know, not to like be a fancy lady, but like I've pretty much – I've gone to like really cool beer places and really cool wine places and really cool like alcohol places. When I say that, I mean like I went to Oktoberfest. Yeah, yeah. I sat down and I had like tons of different kinds of German beer. Do you remember what the best beer you drank at Oktoberfest was? I have a picture of it on my phone.

I don't remember exactly what it is, but we clinked our glasses so hard that I broke a cup. That's all I remember. Those are incredible memories, right? Yeah, yeah. And it was really fun. And just the culture of Oktoberfest and just sitting down in a huge hall

with strangers next to both of your shoulders and just cheersing and having a good time and drinking beer is incredible. It's a very, very fun thing. But when it comes to the flavor of beer, I've never been a beer drinker. Like IPAs make me want to vomit and die. I hate IPAs. Like I, like I'll drink a Peroni if I'm like at dinner, maybe I'll have a Peroni, like something really light. So it doesn't like one, two punch me in the face and then for wine I just went to Paso Robles

and I had the most incredible experience at like a few wineries like I really tried some delicious things some like really beautiful vintages and again

it's the culture that I really enjoyed it was a little bit more private like wine drinking culture is a little bit more like A to B like me and like

the wine taster more so so it was a little bit more private and a little bit more private and a little bit more hoity-toity i'd say instead of like communal like beer drinking um again i think it's i think the sommelier culture and like wine dude culture it kind of like mars my experience because you have to be hella educated or else you look like a like a dum-dum yeah which i hate about wine culture yeah same but that's what which I hate about wine culture. Yeah, same.

But that's what makes people within wine culture love it so much. It gives you something to like— It's that exclusivity that makes you— Yeah, yeah. So you have like beer, which is rough and rowdy and fun, like the apex of like a good time. Wine culture is very private and intimate, and you need to know that there's notes of cherry and notes of oak or whatever.

And then with cocktails— This one tastes like my leather shoes. that there's notes of cherry and notes of oak or whatever. And then with cocktail... This one tastes like my leather shoes. It's got... This one tastes like it has fruit. This is the fruit wine. That's the same. That's me at a...

That's Forrest Gump at a wine tasting in Sonoma Valley. I don't like the taste of this very much, Janae. Anytime I have to – I like drinking wine, and I enjoy wines more than others. I don't like having to think about it, and I don't like being put on the spot because my entire job is to have to sit here and think about words to spew out of my mouth. And so when I go out drinking with my brother, and he's like, what do you taste? And then looks towards the song and looks back to me, and I'm like, now i have to do my job i came here to drink i'll troll it i'm that person too i don't like it oh you troll it and i love it i don't know but sometimes i'll just start i'll start saying um almost like a dadaist sound poem you know where they would just make up sounds and

go and dadaism very very good very good yeah. But last time I was just like, I'm in. There's a stony brook running through a dark ravine. There's moss. It's damp. Sunlight is breaking through the canopy of the trees. You can smell the effervescence coming off as if the brook wants to will itself out of its own carapace. And I just start saying stuff like that. And I remember this one time,

this song just goes, man, so my girlfriend's a poet and she doesn't know a lot about wine, but once I made her taste this Barolo and she looked at me and she just said, Polish lipstick. And I got it. And I was just like,

hell yeah, brother. What? But I mean, those are... So crazy, so pretentious. I can't. Like the wine culture, I just can't. But like cocktail culture, I really like. Something about like a bartender's going like, hey, toots, what do you want?

Like pulling up their sleeves. And they have kind of like a, not a tie, but what is that? A vest. Like they're wearing a vest. Yeah, yeah. And like they have like a towel they throw it over their shoulder. And they're like, what's up, toots, what do you want? They go, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.

Pour. And they hand it to you and they wink and they give it to you. Like, I love that. I like that experience of like cocktail drinking culture. There's a certain amount of cultural coding and non-gendered fraternity and brotherhood within every single, within beer, within wine, within cocktails. Yeah. I happen to be the most knowledgeable about cocktails. And so I...

Fancy boy. No, but I've always... And there's a very specific reason why I love liquor and cocktails more than anything else. Specifically cocktails because it's cooking, right? Mixology. There's a recipe. Yeah, there's a recipe. There's a recipe and you can understand how...

If you understand how to combine flavors, if you understand recipes. For instance, right, a Negroni, you know, is a 1-1-1 of gin, Campari, vermouth. You know, Campari is an aperitivo. You think, what if I used a different aperitivo for this? Like I used – Can I say Chinar? Chinar. Chinar, sorry. What if you used Chinar for a Negroni?

What if you used Bonal quinine liqueur? And, of course, you need to know what all these things are. I just troll the lines in BevMo and and I look at stuff, and I enjoy it. The other day, or you use chartreuse, and then you Google it, and you find out that somebody already did that. And a Negroni using chartreuse instead of Campari is called a bijou. That's right. And then you're like, wow, all these cool things. And I had a great experience at, it was at a wine bar in New Orleans called Bacchanal,

which was an incredible experience. I drank this really dark amber colored skin contact. It's called like Ricketskali. It's a Georgian grape. Well, did a wine originate in Georgia? Wine did originate in Georgia, the Republic of. Not Atlanta. Maybe modern poetry.

Oh, really? I thought Persians invented poetry. Ah, maybe. We invent everything. They both love to wrassle and lift weights, though. Persians and Georgians. Kissing cousins. That's true. But anyways, they had a cocktail bar upstairs.

And you go to the cocktail bar. Really cool looking menu. They had something called a snowbird. And I was like, huh. It seems just like an original. And it was mezcal. God, some sort of dark liqueur. Like Amaro Nonino or something. Amaro Nonino?

You once gave me a bottle of Nonino as a gift. It's my favorite, like, bottled, what is it? It's an Amaro. It's an Amaro, yeah. I don't know what that means, but it's good. Amaro means bitter in Italian.

Amaro Nonino? But it's sweet, cinnamony, got that oranginess to it. With ice in a glass. That's all a girl wants after a hard day's work. It's great. So it was mezcal, Nonino, and pineapple and bitters.

Wow, yum. Wow, that sounds good. And I was like, wow. And then the guy made it for me and I drank it. And I was like, oh, Snowbird. This is a play on a jungle bird, right? And the guy was like, yeah, not many people. Jungle bird, one of my favorite cocktails. It's a modern tiki classic.

Never have I ever had it. You've never had a jungle bird? No. Come over. I want to make you one. Okay. So tiki drink culture right it came back typically it's coming back but um it's typically very sweet filled with fruit juices

filled with bright colors blue curacao all that stuff somebody tried to make like a very spirit forward balanced tiki drink and so it's like lemon simple rum, and Campari. Simple means simple syrup for those that don't know. Sorry. It's okay, chef. I'm a-hole. But so it's basically pineapple, lemon, sugar, and Campari, which the bitterness rounds it out, but you still get some of that sweet bacterial light acidity from the pineapple juice. The pineapple also gives it great body when you shake it.

Sure. Really awesome. So, you know, like you eat a dish and you're like, oh, this is a play on carbonara. acidity from the pineapple juice. The pineapple also gives it great body when you shake it. Sure. Really awesome. So, you know, like you eat a dish and you're like, oh, this is a play on carbonara. Same thing as you can see a cocktail and you go, oh, you made literally a winter spiced version of a jungle bird. And then me and this bartender start talking and I'd been drinking a little bit and I go, are you listening to Tech N9ne? Why did you assume that? Oh, no, I didn't assume. I asked and he goes, yeah, you know, I miss drinking a little bit, and I go, Hey, you listen to Tech N9ne? Why did you assume that? Oh, no, I didn't assume.

I asked, and he goes, yeah, you know, I miss him a little bit. I went to a Tech N9ne concert once. And I was like, you ever make a fancy version of Caribou Lou? You know Caribou Lou, right? The song? Maggie, can you get the lyrics for Caribou Lou? The song. I know the song.

Yes, I know the song. I went to a Tech N9ne concert. 151 Rum, Pineapple Juice, Malibu, Caribou, make them all numb, make baby girl come out of her shell, raise hell, keep a party till the cops come. How can you put... Yeah, yeah. So, you know, there's a recipe for a cocktail called Caribou Lou within a Tech N9ne song. And then me and this guy start talking about, like, the horrorcore rap genre. But that, to me, is, like, why I love cocktails.

Because you can draw one thread. And I know people have that with wine and beer as well. I was going to say like whenever you say it's live cooking in action. That's what cocktails are. There's an action to it. There's an action to it. But with something like wine, like there's vintners, there's like the soil levels, there's water content, there's different grapes.

Oh, there's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, you could go on and on yeah yeah so it's so it's almost like if if you respect like gardening and cultivars and stuff like that then you're a wine person but if you're like us and you like the art of like i don't know again impulsive like fast quick like in front of my face like i don't care if something's been like hanging out i don't care about 1978 vintages like that doesn't interest me i don't care about 1978 vintages. Like that doesn't interest me. I don't care about a beer from like

Thailand that like 30 people have tried and like I get to try for the first time. That stuff doesn't interest me. But the actual live recipe building of a cocktail is very interesting. And I love when they taste it. When they taste it and they don't just hand it to me. That's such a special moment. I love that so much.

Do you also like that? The best feeling in the world. I think I asked. And they go like this. They shake their heads. I asked somebody to make a drink. It was probably a penicillin, my favorite cocktail of all time, which is single malt scotch, lemon. Honey, ginger syrup.

Single malt scotch, lemon juice, honey, ginger syrup, shaken, strained over a rock. And then you float Isla Scotch on top so it smells like a campfire, garnished with candied ginger. That's good. Favorite cocktail of all time. I asked somebody to make it, and they were like, it was like a hotel bar, but you could tell the bartender really cared about his craft. Sure.

And he was like, I don't have everything, but I'm going to make you something that's really close. And he did a first attempt. Was this at the Streamy's? No, it wasn't. This is in like Austin, Texas. Okay, sorry. Did I get your chart and order a penicillin at the Streamy's? I it wasn't. This is in like Austin, Texas. Okay, sorry. Did I get your chart and order a penicillin at the Streamys?

I think so. And then we had to go. That makes sense. We were really late. We were like, I want to finish my cocktail. I'm like, Josh. Oh, you're right. Yeah, that was at a bar that nobody else was at.

And we were looking for a publicist. I remember that. Look at us be in Hollywood. Honey, look at us. Bottom, bottom. If I can make it here. I watched the bartender stick the straw in, suck it out, and then shake his head, pour the drink out, start again. I was like, my man, I would have drank in the discard, but. I love that too. Or whenever they shake their head and they're like, and then they hand it to you. I love that too. Gosh.

Okay, did you go through phases where you were like into beer a little bit, you're into wine a little bit, and then you sort of settled into your pure shot of poison era? Yeah, I think there was a period of time where like me and David were just starting to date. And like he's like, I want to learn about wine. I'm like, cool. I can't help you. Yeah. So we bought like four different kinds, four to like six different bottles of wine.

And we bought like all the gear, like all the stoppers and all the aerators and stuff. Yeah. And then we tasted them. And then we were like going back and forth. And we were just talking about like, what do you taste? And he's like, I taste this. Like, okay, I taste this. And then we would go and google the bottle and like and look at it and be like oh man did you taste dark chocolate and he's like maybe I did okay let's move to the next one

and we did that for about two days and then it was like I feel like you're either somebody who it takes or it doesn't and for me like in school if there's a subject I was interested in it was just natural I wanted to read everything in, it was just natural. I wanted to read everything about it. It would soak in. Me too. 85% of subjects I wasn't interested in. Sure.

And now we wasted five years just to drop out at UCLA. And now we're here. And now we're here. But wine, for me, it's always been a thing that just doesn't take. And it might be because I see it as like the most bourgeois delight of all. Yeah. You know, to me, wine is the most exclusive culture of all these. Club. It's like a cool kids club. Yeah. And even when I say I'm

into liquor and cocktails, I'm not into like high-end whiskeys. I don't care about that. It's fun to try. I've had some. Yeah, whiskey dudes. Whiskey dudes, sometimes there's some that are like approachable and then some whiskey dudes, they are a little bit annoying. Yeah. Like when you bring a bottle of whiskey to some whiskey dudes, they are a little bit annoying. Yeah.

Like when you bring a bottle of whiskey to a pregame, they're like, oh, you brought this? Bro, I won't even brush my teeth with this. Like a $200 bottle of Blue Label that does nothing for me. I'm very grateful.

Mike Chrisamania, he gave to me one. I love that. Yeah, right. I think David drank that on our wedding day. Yeah, but it's a very popular kind of like old school

big brand prestige alcohol. Yeah, Donnie's a very popular kind of like old school big brand prestige alcohol. Donnie Walker, right? It tastes perfectly good, but it doesn't do anything for me. I love like these modern wine hipsters who are drinking all the skin contact. It's funky, isn't it? It's like kombucha. Which again, I really enjoy. Do you taste the funky notes?

They're in there. And it's like, no. I had a, God, I went to a wine bar and I saw a new, was it Romato? Which means it's Italian for copper. New color of wine dropped. Copper wines. They're out here. It's not orange wine anymore?

No, it's a combination of orange wine, rosé to make. I think it's Romato, which is Italian for copper. Maggie, can you Google Italian for copper? Romato tomato. That's what I always say. But no, I love to find the weird, funky. You're right, rame. Rame.

Yeah, so it must be, I don't know. Orange and copper are like the same thing. No, they're not because this is skin contact wine that was made in the same style. Is it rosé? I don't know. Is it rosé, also skin contact? I don't know what the grapes, I don't know how you make wine. You stomp on it.

You let the grapes rot. Let's go. You mash it. Josh, aside from going to the farm. But then people are like, this is a six day steel siphon. And I'm like, I don't know. Josh, instead of us going to the farm,

let's go work at a vineyard and do grape stomping. We should. Like I Love Lucy. Do you remember that episode? We need to educate ourselves. Did you watch I Love Lucy as a kid? Yeah, sometimes.

It's because it was like. Because I was on when I was sick. Oh, I was going to say because it was on cable. Oh, yeah. It was on network TV and I lived with my grandmother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you ever see that when she's stomping the grapes in Italy? No.

Oh. It sounds fun, though, from your description of it. Let's do it. I would really like to. And then we can sell your foot wine and make money. Josh Sharer foot wine. Go to josh sell your foot wine and make money. Josh Share Foot Wine. Go to joshsharefootwine.com. Pre-order your Josh Share Foot Wine.

It's a pet nat, half fermented and carbonized. There's two. Special Nicole toenail edition coming out soon. Comes with a real piece of her toenail in each bottle. If you're lucky. I wish I was less ignorant about wine. I wish that I could enjoy these bourgeois delights with all

of my little bourgeois friends running around. Ignorance is bliss. You know? So maybe we don't need to be that educated on it. We can just enjoy it. Or, I wish I could grow a beard. Because if I could grow a beard, then I could be one of those beer guys in San Diego. Look at my face. Erin, Denver, Colorado. I have hair on my face right now.

Touch it. Do you really? A little bit. A little fuzzy. It's like a little nectarine. I grew up thinking that like the height of fun and coolness in class was going to a brewery, which I still love going to breweries and I love beer as well. I hate going to breweries. Is it because it's very dude-centric? A lot of women love breweries.

That's all I'm saying. No, no, no, No, no, no. Again, I'm not... The beer-drinking culture, it takes so much to get you even feeling anything. And then you got a gut, and then you're burping all over the place, and you got to unbuckle your pants. And that's called freedom.

Because someone got nachos as well, so you're eating nachos, Oh, someone got nachos, I got nachos. And like three pints of beer, and literally the body... I'm eating buffalo cauliflower wings. I cannot handle them. I'm eating a jackfruit quesadilla. Like, oh, that'd be good. I feel like a weird amount of breweries have vegan options. That's pretty cool. We like inclusivity.

But you don't get down to that. Sorry. It's fine. You don't get down to beer at all though. I don't drink, like, I don't know. Like, if we ever go out, like, do you ever see me drinking a beer? No. Very rarely. Do you see me drinking beer? No. Very rarely. Because when you and I hang out, it ain't beer drinking time.

When me and the boys are hanging out, Nicole, me and the boys. The boys? The DPC boys. I know about the DPC. They'll play his club. What's up? Love you, Sean. Love you, Dave.

Love you, Emil. Love you, Marcus. Love you, Kev. Miss you guys. Is Chad in that? No, Chad's not part of DPC. Oh, really? Me, Chad, Deep, and Nick. We don't really have a name for our boys' crew, but we went to a great

brewery in San Diego because that is sort of where modern brewery culture, that's where the IPA boom happened. I'm glad you have friends. Thinking of Stone Brewery. Stone Brewery, yeah. I remember the first time I had Stone's Arrogant Bastard Ale, which... Everybody remembers when they first had it. Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember that, and I had Stone's Arrogant Bastard Ale, which— Everybody remembers when they first had it.

Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember that, and I also remember whenever Delirium came into the zeitgeist. Delirium Tremens. I remember going—I went to the Delirium Tremens pub in Brussels, and I drank two liters of Delirium Tremens. How many pints is that? Two liters is 66 ounces, so about four pints. Wow.

That's like what, like 9.8? And then I got locked in a bathroom at a Brussels sandwich shop trying to order a mitraillette. Yeah, I remember this. And so those are memories that they wouldn't have been the same if I were drinking cocktails. Fair. You know what I mean? When you go to Brussels, you drink the beer. If you go to the Rhone Valley, is that a thing?

Is it the Rhine Valley or the Rhone Valley? The Rhone. Rhone's in France. And the Rhine is a river. Yeah, they're all, I think the Rhone's also, I don't know. But anyways, you drink the wine, right? If you're going to New Orleans, you get jello shots and syringes. Oh, did you have a daiquiri when you were there?

Okay, when you say daiquiri, you don't mean the real cocktail called a daiquiri, right? That's like rum, sugar, lime. No, the frozen mofos. Big frozen slurpee. Yeah, I got a big frozen slurpee, and the bartender recognized me. Fat Tuesdays. This was just called like daiquiris. It's not in Vegas.

Oh, yeah. And the bartender recognized me, and he gave me and Julia just a handful of Jell-O shots, and it was a cold night, so the Jell-O was hard. But the point is, actually, New Orleans is actually the birthplace of modern cocktail culture in America cool um Sazerac the Sazerac one of my favorite cocktails of all time was invented there we toured the Sazerac distillery very cool to hear the stories behind it it was originally supposed to be a cure for I believe yellow Interesting, because of the absinthe? It was the absinthe and the bitters were supposed to be medicinal.

And then they were like, oh, this don't cure squat, but what a tasty drink. And so like Peychaud's bitters were I think originally supposed to be medicinal. But, you know, I love the Pimm's Cup was first brought to the United States from Napoleon House in New Orleans. And I got to sit and drink all three of their variations of Pim's Cups with a nice muffalada and a bowl of gumbo. And so experiencing the terroir, the culture of where you are. Sure. You go to Oktoberfest, you drink the beer. You put on the cute outfit.

You wore the lederhosen. Well, I wore a dirndl, but the boys wore lederhosen, yes. Hot. All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say.

Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a segment we call Opinions Are like casseroles.

But before we get to the opinions, Nicole, you know what time it is. Are you making me a drink? No, God, that would be nice, though. It's 1030. I am on antibiotics, so I cannot do that. You're on antibiotics right now? I think going to New Orleans just killed my body, spirit, and soul, and I just got, like, infections. Josh!

It's like everywhere. It's the whole body. I have an infection of the body. If this were the 1600s, they would just say— Don't ever say infection again. They would just say, well, that's what antibiotics are for. They're all for bacterial infections. If this were the 1600s, they would just say, like, your humors are bad, and they would

have leached me, which I am not above. I think I should just do that. I would like to get leached. I mean, for five straight days, it was just like liquor, gumbo, fried shrimp, and coffee to keep me going. That sounds crazy. No sleep, because that city's open. There are 24-7 bars there, but you don't want to go into them. You don't want to go. Because you can't get out?

Julie and I went into a 30 and over bar. What does that mean? they had a sign that said no one under 30 and they carded us and they were like oh Julia just just got the deadline

because she just turned 30 and then we went in and it was just people singing old R&B songs and dancing with bad knees and it was sounds like my kind of party it was pretty fun actually

um anywho now Nicole it's time for review a review my favorite it's your favorite oh my gosh and it's a segment Review a Review. My favorite. It's your favorite. Oh, my gosh. And it's a segment where you take one of your Apple Podcast reviews and we review it ourselves.

Review us on Apple Podcast. I love it. Five stars from Nice App saying, dang good show. Wowzers. This is a good show. Josh does an amazing job at balancing both humor and education, while Nicole brings a flair that complements the rowdiness and brings the show back down to earth. I've listened to this show since day one

and every time it's brought a smile to my face. Good Mythical Kitchen is a great watch as well. I too love it. Good Mythical Kitchen. It's the best show on the internet. Yeah, one star. It's not called Good Mythical Kitchen. It's just called Mythical Kitchen.

And Good Mythical Morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I got a one star, this really touching review that was very genuine and I think touched on both of our strengths and things that we're proud of. But no one star because Mythical Entertainment is the overarching property. Good Mythical Morning is its flagship show and Mythical Kitchen is its spinoff. So for not understanding the very intricate brand language that we have decided means something. It's a delicate balance understanding and you know

yeah getting getting all that information in but i will give you two and a half stars yeah because i'm kinder and more down to earth as you stated in the messaging of your of your comments well i think i i think if you were to apologize nice sorry yeah it's nice app one two two two i know you work so hard on the brand language and I really made a mockery of that. If you said that, I would up it to two stars. No, I'm kidding. Nice app. That is a very sweet review. You're so ridiculous.

Thank you so much. Everybody go review us on Apple Podcasts. Thank you so much. We love you. Only if you're nice. Somebody did give us a four out of five stars. Why? They dropped a star because we had an ad for dog poop. Like something about dog poop

in our food podcast. We did? You saw that, Maggie? Yeah, Maggie's laughing. It was an ad for, I had to go back and listen because it's not one that you guys read.

Okay, okay. It was an ad for dog food that helped with their poop. Oh, yeah, it's a food podcast and that was an ad for food. What are you talking about? Well, all food becomes poop.

Food is just pre-poop. Yeah, food is pre-poop. We have to hold space to talk for poop. Get with the program. We should have just been a poop podcast. Everybody poops the podcast. Let's do it. Anyways, let's hear that first opinion.

Hey, guys. So I just got married the other week. Mazel tov. And I learned that my new husband believes that a Rice Krispie treat is a cookie. Divorce him. Hey. Wait. Doesn't that just tell you everything about love? I still love him. I still care for him, even though he's so dead wrong. Can you back me up on this? Thanks so much.

Okay. Let's This is interesting. Let's talk about it. A Rice Krispie Treat in its square form, wrapped up, whatever, or homemade in a dish, that's not a cookie. I agree with that. But if you were to take the Rice Krispie Treat, punch it out in a hole, make a circle, put frosting on it, put some sprinkles on on it I think it eats like a cookie it eats like a cookie but it is not a cookie like a cookie is something that has

culinarily coded DNA within it not all cookies are well not all cookies are round what binds every cookie so I think it's funny there's different kinds of binders what are the central themes running through a cookie flour, sugar cookie so i think it's funny there's different kinds of binders but no i mean i mean like what

are the central themes running through flour sugar okay there's no flour in a rice crispy i mean so what so so so it's not a cookie you just said a cookie has flour i not all cookies i also agree with this man that love can transcend people being absolutely wrong about things but josh not okay but what about like those those like cookies that are like made with like dates and like oats? That is, that's like, that's like the equivalent of a veggie burger, which is not a hamburger. It's not a

hamburger, but it's a burger. It's a burger, sure. And it eats like a burger, but it is meant to be a farce of what it is. It's meant to be a facsimile, an imitation. But this isn't about cookies. A Rice Krispie Treat is not a cookie. It's simply not. If you alter its shape

and if you are able to kind of appropriate from cookiness, it can be. They serve similar purposes in the sense that I want something kind of dense and sweet. Yeah. You know, but in the same way

that like a granola bar might serve the same purpose as a cookie. Is millionaire shortbread a cookie? Well, so this is interesting. In the British canon, it is not a millionaire shortbread. It's a biscuit. And which I think we use the term cookie very liberally right in ways that make it

you know, difficult like in Mexico how a sandwich is only something served on like sliced white sandwich bread or what is it called? Pan completo? I don't know. Or wheat. But it's on sliced sandwich bread because everything else has its own name. It's a torta. It's a pambasso. It's a hot dog. It's whatever. You know, in Britain, they have more of that relationship with everything's a biscuit and then you have a cookie, which would be like an American chocolate chip cookie. But that's not what's at play here.

What's at play is your love and your relationship. And I have a similar thing with my lovely fiance, Julia, where, you know, every night we eat dinner and I cook some sort of vegetable. We like to eat a lot of vegetables. And I'll be like, carrots are the vegetable tonight. And she'll go, that's not a vegetable. Carrots are a vegetable. And I go, of course they are.

She goes, no, it's like a root. It's a starch. Carrots aren't a starch. And I'll be like, okay, like fennel. And she'll be like, that's not a vegetable. And so I had to go. What's fennel? I had to go, what are the vegetables to you?

Name all the vegetables you know. And we found out she thinks there are like three. She's like broccoli, spinach, and zucchini. Those are the three vegetables to her. And I understand where she's coming from. She wants things that are, to her, a vegetable has to be something three vegetables to her. And I understand where she's coming from. She wants things that are, to her, a vegetable has to be something that's exclusively healthy.

And like savory and not sweet. Yeah. So like, you know, zucchini, broccoli, spinach, all those are dark green. They are dense in whatever nutrients comes from dark green things, like kale and leafy greens, she thinks are vegetables.

Okay. But the other stuff, which I would say, hey, these all have their own micronutrients and they also have fiber. This is satisfying, but I don't argue it. And I end up making a ton of spinach. I end up making a ton of broccoli and I enjoy it. And I flavor them with things that I enjoy so that we both compromise and end up with

a lovely meal and a lovely relationship. And I hope that you can find it in your heart to just admit the Rice Krispies are a cookie. Just lie to yourself. Relationships are about lying to yourself. Yeah, just lie a little bit. A little bit. Don't die on this hill, right? There's hills you're going to die on. Don't make this the one. You need little lies. This is a relationship podcast.

You need little lies in relationships to pressure valve. This shouldn't be a food podcast. This shouldn't be a poop podcast. We should give a relationship. We should give people relationship advice. We do all the time

and we're great at it. Like call in with relationship problems please. Absolutely. Oh my god yes. Oh Valentine's Day episode.

What are we doing for Valentine's Day? I have a date. Do you really? I'm married. No but I know. Are you going on a date with your husband

on Valentine's Day? My husband? Your husband. Your husband. My, but I know. Are you going on a date with your husband on Valentine's Day? My husband? Your husband. Your husband. My husband? Your husband. I don't have plans yet, but yeah. Oh, I don't know.

You sounded like you had it all figured out because now I'm like, I don't, you know, Julie and I, we don't celebrate holidays. You don't celebrate? We don't. Really? We don't really do any of them. David and I like celebrate every anniversary, like every holiday, but like we're not like gift givers, but we acknowledge it and we do something special.

I'll bring flowers. She likes yellow roses. Hi, guys. I'm Raga and I live in Georgia. I just want to say I love y'all's podcast. I listen to it all the time and I watch Mythical all the time. I'm a huge fan. I'm actually in college

and kind of trying to learn how to cook for myself. Go Dawgs! For the first time. And it's kind of a lot. You're doing great, sweetie. You guys like first learned to cook is my question. And like, how was that for you?

And what do you think? Like, are there tips you can give me? Like certain things I should know? Because I'm kind of flying blind here. Are there tips you can give me? Certain things I should know. Because I'm kind of flying blind here. I'm kind of watching y'all's videos and trying to follow along sometimes. But, yeah. Alright, thanks.

Bye. That's a good question, Nicole. Well, the first thing I learned how to cook was a quesadilla. And I'm really good at them. It's a good first thing to learn how to cook. It's a good first thing to learn. And the thing is, if you don't want to use a pan... Let me tell you, if you're hungry and you don't want to cook, you could make it in the microwave. You could make it in the toaster oven.

You could make it in the oven. You could make it in a pan. You could make it on a griddle. Tortilla plus cheese and spicy, good. Agreed. It just is. But if you want to start leaning more towards like learning how to cook proteins, I would say instead of like a whole chicken breast or like a whole like cut of beef, super small pieces. Yeah. And marinate those pieces in salt, pepper, and all-purpose seasoning, whatever kind of flavors you want, just throw it in there and let it sit for like 15, 20 minutes.

Yeah, lean on pre-ackaged ingredients like that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you can buy it pre-made. Like shaved beef is great. Like pre-shaved beef, lifesaver. So these small little tiny nuggets of protein, you throw it in the pan. They don't take much time to cook. So you don't have to worry about being in the temperature danger zone.

You don't have to worry about like when I used to cook chicken breast, I'd cut it in half. It was still pink in the temperature danger zone. You don't have to worry about like, like when I used to cut like chicken breast, when I used to cook chicken breast, I'd cut in half, it was still pink in the middle. I would like, I'd be sad because I'm like, I know how to cook. Don't I? But no, I would still screw it up. Sometimes I still screw up my salmon.

Sometimes I still screw up my chicken. The smaller the pieces are, the less chance of it being raw and undercooked is. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, and also like instant pots are great, large format. If you want to make like a big hunk of meat or like a lot of it, instant pot plus the pressure button. Just use it.

Use it and you can have meat for like days. And that's my story. The first thing I ever cooked was when i think my babysitter fell asleep drunk on the couch and didn't feed me crepes and risotto no that so no no the first thing i ever made was a grilled cheese when i was like six years old oh um maybe maybe seven um but i never used a stove before and i was so nervous and i thought i was gonna burn down the house it was super low took me 20 minutes to make a grilled cheese um still takes you that long but i I learned how to cook

from necessity, right? You know, and I think that's the mother of invention. Like when I learned how to swim, someone threw me in a pool and was like... Is that how you learned

how to swim? Yeah. Someone threw you in the water? Yeah. You didn't take like classes? No, I think I took one class. Okay. I was like,

yeah, it's expensive, Chussman. But it was like, yeah, you either die or you learn to scrap at the water and then you're there. So I learned to cook from necessity, which sounds like you didn't have. But the actual thing that taught me how to cook was simply time and repetition.

And there is no substitute for that. There's no amount of recipes that you can read and memorize and, you know, produce. You simply need to do it. It's the same for anything. You want to get good at basketball, play basketball. Get good at the trumpet. Maggie knows this. and produce, you simply need to do it. It's the same for anything. You want to get good at basketball, play basketball. Get good at the trumpet. Maggie knows this.

What do you got to do, Maggie? Do the trumpet. You got to do the trumpet. If you want to get good at cooking, you have to cook. You have to cook a lot, and then you learn things. So for instance, first time I cooked that grilled cheese, heat was too low, took me 20 minutes. Next time I cooked a grilled cheese, turned the heat up too high, it burnt it.

Then you go, okay, appropriate. Heat for a grilled cheese is medium. And you take that learning and you apply that. And I've now applied that over the course of 25 years since that initial grilled cheese to have just a massive, massive Rolodex and lexicon. And that shouldn't be intimidating to you. It should be a fun opportunity. Yeah. You get to feed yourself. How cool is that? And at the end of the day, you get to shove the fruits of your labor into your mouth. You can't do that with a painting. You'll die. You will die. Did you ever try and eat a painting? Yeah, like in Red Dragon.

All the lead paint I use. You've seen Red Dragon? Not in like a long... I've seen it like seven times. Yo, talk about psychopathic tendencies. Look at you go. Of course you love Red Dragon. I loved it. Start with one dish. Start with it. I loved it. Yeah. Start with one dish.

Start with a chicken and rice dish. Make Filipino chicken adobo. There's like six ingredients. Rice is sometimes hard to make. Buy a rice cooker. Buy a minute rice. Buy a minute rice. Buy a rice cooker.

Microwave it. It's good. Then learn how to make rice. Sure. Last one. Hi, my name is Mr. Max. Huh? Long time stalker.

First time talker. Oh. And I have discovered. Max, a longtime stalker, first-time talker. And I have discovered a magical sauce that needs to be experienced by more people. If you mix like a buffalo sauce with like a creamy horseradish sauce, it's freaking amazing. You guys are the best. Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Don't do He has the best. Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Don't do all of the drugs. I was going to say, I regret to inform you of at least one of those things.

We didn't stay in school. Yeah. That sounds great. Mr. Max, you sound like you have a very trustworthy voice, and I trust you and your choices with culinary mix-ins. I gotta pay. Josh. What would you put horseradish

buffalo sauce on? Wings. Yeah. Obviously. Especially like a smoked wing. Get that kiss of smoke on there. The horseradish cuts through that like it would like prime rib when you got all that fire on it. That was a keys. That sounds good. I recently, okay, so I was trying to make piri piri chicken at home.

Because I love me some pi-peri chicken. Just say peri-peri chicken. Peri-peri chicken. Like what do you gain? That's how they say it in South Africa. I have to know. What do you gain? In South Africa, they say peri-peri chicken. I know.

I know. I know. But you were born in Virginia? You'd never been to Hood Sprite? Where were you born? Hood Sprite. Where were you born? In South Africa.

No, I was born in Columbia, Maryland. Oh, Maryland. I'm sorry. I mix them up all the time. What? Why do you say peri-peri chicken? Peri-peri chicken. What?

Because it's South African. That Giada Di Laurentiis is South African. But like, what do you gain from it? I'm just playing around. Oh, Nicole, fine. You say tortilla then. Like, what do you want from me? No, tortilla is fine, but I don't say tortilla.

Why is tortilla fine, but tortilla is not? I don't like to say it. I don't need to put an infliction on it all the time. But you're already honoring the Spanish double L. Okay, yeah, but like to an extent. I don't need to like prove to everyone I know the proper pronunciation of tortilla. But I don't know what's improving and what's not. Like if you go to an Argentinian restaurant and you see P-A-R-R-I-L-L-A-D-A.

Palo Alto? I guess, okay, Argentina. Do you know what like an Argentinian mixed grill is called? No, I don't. P-a-r-r-i-l-l-a-d-a. Parida. I-l-l-a-d-a. Josh, this is not a spelling bee.

Something, Maggie, can you spell this out? Can you type this out? Josh, this is not a spelling bee. I'm sorry. No, because everyone talks about about the end of my chicken story is that I bought a thing of Buffalo Wild Wings garlic buffalo sauce and it was good. That's it. But now this is

more important. P-A-R-R I-L-L-A-D-A Okay. How do I say that? How would you say that? Parilada. Parilada. Pariada. Pariada. No, decide on a pronunciation.

You did it three different times. Decide on what you go and you order this Mixta. I've never heard that word said before. From Carlitos Gardel Argentinian Steakhouse. I love Carlitos Gardel. You're getting, because this is the best thing on the menu, you're ordering that plus Mixta. That's their big plate.

How do you pronounce that? I would just point to the menu and say this. No, you wouldn't. You would not cop out. Completely. You would do the thing at a Vietnamese restaurant where you just go for number 57. Yeah, I do that.

No way, man. Of course I do that. I'm freaking swinging. Do you think I'm going to embarrass myself and butcher something like number 57? This is a very common Spanish word. I've never heard it before.

It has the same construction as the word tortilla. Parida. Pariada. Pariada. Except in Argentinian it'd be parijada. When I say parijada?

I don't know, but I go there and I don't know. If somebody is Argentinian, Let me tell you what I would do. Because I get accused of, listen,

I've, Jada De Laurentiis is good. I've awakened I've, Jada De Laurentiis is good. I've awakened the beast. Jada De Laurentiis is, we should be trying to pronounce things. De Laurentiis. Yeah, De Laurentiis is good. De Laurentiis, okay. I don't think, I don't know if the whole family's done.

Josh, I'm not here to make you mad. I'm just saying you don't need to do it. You don't need to constantly tell people, I know how to pronounce this thing. But that's, it's like. So why are you doing it? I understand that certain words are naturalized. Like, I don't, you know, I know how to pronounce this thing. Why are you doing it? I understand that certain words are naturalized. I'm not going to say spaghetti.

So you'll say spaghetti, but you won't say peri-peri chicken. You'll say... Okay, no, the peri-peri, that's a joke. I would say peri-peri chicken. Oh, it looks like somebody's taken back what they said. And it's not South African. It's like Mozambique

and then it has Portuguese. Portuguese influence. But the point is like this, I would go to an Argentinian restaurant and I would say Parijada

and I would go to a Brazilian churrascaria and not say churrasco, I'd say churrasco. Okay, I'd say churrascaria. Why? It's just,

it's wrong. It's lazy. And it hasn't even been. It's wrong, it's lazy, it's incorrect, but you know what it is? It's American. It's What? It's just, it's wrong. It's lazy. And it hasn't even been. It's wrong. It's lazy. It's incorrect. But you know what it is? It's American.

It's American. God dang it. I'm eating barbecue. I would say the original Taino Arawak word, barbacqua. I know barbacqua. This was great. Did you get out a lot of emotions by doing this? How much am I supposed to say the words more good or bad?

I don't know. There's no rules. There's no rules. There's no rules. I think you should just keep doing you. I'm sorry for pointing out something. Every time I say mian instead of mian for Chinese noodles, people get mad. I noticed the way you said Michelin in the Gordon Ramsay episode. You know what?

Okay. Yeah. So Gordon Ramsay, Last Meals, the greatest episode I've ever done. Go watch it. I liked it. I said Michelin. Do you know why I said it? because that's how he says it

that's how he says it and you wanted to respect him because it was an interview correct and Michelin French company but then like in the middle

you said Michelin yeah yeah yeah no one's perfect sometimes Jada probably just says scary we gotta wrap this damn podcast

fine fine let's go let's go abbreviated outro thanks see ya You know where we're at Call us If you've made it this far Call us

You've figured out when we publish the podcast 833-DOGPOD1 Call us Yeah, give us your relationship problems We're gonna solve all of them Parillada No, it's Parishada In the Argentinian

Maggie, look up a video Say Parishada Argentinian No, no, no It's because it's not Spanish It's not Argentinian Spanish Yeah It's notishada in the Argentinian. Maggie, look up a video. Say Parishada Argentinian. No, no, no. It's because it's not Spanish. It's not Argentinian Spanish. Yeah. It's not Argentinian. Yeah, there's different types of Spanish.

Yeah, there are. It's big. It's so big. You ever hear people from Quebec speak French? It's like barking dogs.