A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Does Thanksgiving Turkey Kinda Suck?

Episode Date: November 25, 2020

Are we kidding ourselves when we try to make turkeys tasty, or is there really something to this Thanksgiving tradition? Today, we're asking the question: does turkey kinda suck? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Brined or basted, stuffed or deep fried, are we kidding ourselves when we try to make turkeys tasty? Or is there really something to this Thanksgiving tradition? Today we're asking the question, does turkey kind of suck? This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Handizadeh. And today we're talking about turkey and turkey sucking.

Because there's been a big movement, Nicole. There's been a big movement in the online Thanksgiving forums, of which I am a huge part. I just go on there to meet friends, you know. Sure. Like-minded individuals. Like-minded individuals, you know, who want to discuss the holiday year-round. But no, there's been a really big movement where people are railing against turkey,

saying that it should not be the centerpiece of your Thanksgiving, and that you should cook something quote-unquote tastierier like a prime rib or even a ham. What do you think about that idea? I'm going to have to agree. I think turkey sucks. You're team turkey sucking. Let me tell you what it is. It's not good.

It's not my ideal protein. I think chicken is delicious. I think beef is delicious. Hell, I think properly seasoned tofu is delicious. You're telling me you'd rather have a tofurkey than a turkey? I didn't say tofurkey. Don't be putting words in my mouth, sir. What I'm trying to say is that cooking a turkey properly is really, really hard.

And a lot of people mess it up. I don't think the average cook in America knows how to make a proper turkey. I've had a lot of dry, crappy turkeys. That's interesting. I grew up on dry, crappy turkey. But I also grew up on dry, crappy every food because my parents were just crappy cooks. We didn't come from a long line of cooks. That said, once I learned to take control of my turkey destiny, I really started to appreciate how delicious of an animal it just is.

Turkey flesh, the turkey bird meat. You think it's a delicious animal? Yes, yes. And I used to be on team just roast a couple chickens because roast chicken is when done properly, one of the most delicious things in the world. But turkey, I think, has more character to the meat. And I think that's important when we're doing something like a special occasion dinner like Thanksgiving. Like when else are you ever going to roast a whole turkey? You might as well do it once a year. It's like you might as well call your grandma on her birthday.

No, man. I think like imagine making a beautiful prime rib with a beautifully seasoned butter, gorgeous red interior with a stunning, crisp, meaty outside. I just can't listen. I just, the ratio of skin to meat also on a turkey really bothers me. There's such little skin and there's just big honking pieces of flesh. I can't enjoy it. Save it for Arbor Day. Save the prime rib for Arbor Day. No! Why? Trees? You celebrate trees by eating prime rib because cows

eat trees. They eat grass. Which are little trees. Nicole, I don't have time to explain science to you. Grass is not little trees. Grass, look at it. It's little trees. They're little pine trees. Yeah, stupid conversation. They produce little pine cones. Go ahead, man. Speak your truth. I don't care. I do hear what you're saying. Like I said, I am very sympathetic to

this idea because I'm someone, when I grew up on my table, like we would have Thanksgiving turkey and then on Christmas we would have both turkey and ham. That was just like our baseline American white people ask Thanksgiving and Christmas situation. And I would always like wait for ham day because it's not something that you actually have to make. You know, like hams just come pre-hammed. They come the way they're done. Yeah. Exactly. You put it in the oven.

We'd pour like a bottle of Coca-Cola on it. Yeah. Put some cloves in it. What do you guys do? No, we didn't know what cloves were. We took a ham. I mean, not ham. Pineapple slices? Yep.

We took the whole ham from Ralph's when like my dad got a full-time teaching gig, which is when we became lower middle class and not just poor. We would start getting honey baked ham from the honey baked ham store and that was a huge, huge spike in our quality of life. Where's the honey baked ham store?

Oh, they got, honey baked ham got stores all around. Really? Yeah, so they used to be just like a mail. Not on the West side, buddy. Not in Pico Robertson where I hang out. Never have I ever seen a honey baked ham store. I think the honey baked ham store should have tried to pivot to market to like the Jewish market, but do it. So you ever go to like a cool, like hipster kosher bakery and they have like all types of bacon that aren't pork. Sure. Yeah. You know? Yeah. They should should have done that with ham they should have made like beef hams no the word ham just creates a shudder through the body for the i guess it's kind of different than bacon that at least has like hipster cultural appeal you go to a gastropub you get bacon on a burger you go to

like a jewish gastropub and you're like lamb belly bacon yeah oh my gosh the amount of times i used to get bullied for eating bacon literally i was like 22 years old and people would come up to me and be like, so, you like to eat bacon and ham? And I would look at them dead in the face and say, yeah, it's really good. Have you tried prosciutto yet? That's the best. And then they would just slink away and be like, hey. Nicole, don't

antagonize the fellow Jews. Never mean to me. But back to turkey. Again, I just don't understand why people love it so much. I get it. It's like a seasonal thing and people love seasonal things in the United States of America. It's the pumpkin spice. It's like the pumpkin spice of birds.

Well, pumpkin spice is good. But I think you kind of – Turkey bad. Turkey has – I love a gamey quality to me. It's in turkeys. We take it for granted now because it's in so many processed foods. You got your turkey bacon. You go to Subway. You go to Subway. You get your turkey bacon. You go to Subway.

You go to Subway. You get your turkey Subway. You go to Subway. Oh, my God. Subway. Wow. Dated. Dated meme.

Still good, though. That's how you know how old someone is based on what memes they reference. Yeah. Like yesterday when we were discussing like the Rangers, the jerk dance group. Those were the viral videos of our high school era. Yeah. And Trevor just had no idea what we were talking about. He's like, what is jerking, weirdos?

I was like, it's a dance. We yike on it these days. No, but turkeys have a really lovely gamey quality to them and the meat is almost a little bit sinewy and tougher, which I actually really enjoy. Are you trying to sell it

by saying the word sinewy? Yes, I am trying to sell it. This is the old reverse psychology marketing. No, it's the same reason I love meats like goat and lamb as opposed to beef there's just more character to it chicken is water turkey is crystal light it just adds some fun well that makes so much sense i hate crystal light of course you hate turkey if you hate crystal light who who enjoys crystal light

other than midwestern moms i used to nicole i am your midwestern mom okay i'm your midwestern mom okay you're gonna go to soccer practice i'm gonna come give you give you the orange slices okay I used to, Nicole, I am your Midwestern mom. Okay. I'm your Midwestern mom. Okay, hon. You're going to go to soccer practice. I'm going to come give you the orange slices. Okay. Orange slices. Sorry, hockey practice. You're going to win the beauty pageant.

Then you're going to explode in a tractor accident. That's a reference to the movie Drop Dead Gargis. Gargis. What a good movie. I love that movie. What was I talking about? Crystallite. No, I think turkey is just a more fun version of chicken.

And also another way that I started to really enjoy turkey was understanding like how big it actually is in like Mexican and Salvadoran cooking. Really? Which is, yeah, actually really kind of interesting because turkeys are like indigenous to like North America. Well, that makes sense then. Yeah. And so it's like very much a native bird and so i went to this salvador corazon y miel was the name of it what a great name yeah the heart and honey really beautiful name beautiful name r.i.p that restaurant is absolutely

fantastic but they had this like turkey and mole dish and just getting that extra complexity from the turkey it was something that really made me you me turn on to it because we only do enjoy turkey in A, processed foods, and B, like mostly crappy Thanksgiving meals cooked by people. My dad's best friend's wife, she's a lovely Mexican woman, and she makes us turkey tamales for the holidays. Yeah. So I guess it makes sense. She puts an olive in it, and then she puts a raja in it, and then she puts a green bean in it. That's interesting. Yeah.

But yeah, turkey, like there's a real fascinating history behind it right like benjamin franklin had this whole populist idea of trying to make turkeys the national bird of america they're dumb they're dumb they're dumb but no they're common right like all the founding fathers they wanted this kind of simple agrarian nation they represent the everyman turkeys i don't know if this is true. Someone should eventually fact check this, but I like to not fact check it so I can believe it. That turkeys will die if they look up in the rain because it'll just drown them. No, those are ostriches that put their head in the sand. No, no. Turkeys look up and drown.

No, no, no. Ostriches put their head in the sand. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Let's try and frame this. Frame it. What are you doing with your hand? I'm taking what you're saying and I'm picking it up and I'm putting it down.

Oh, you're physically framing it. Yeah. Okay. You mentioned that people are just crappy at cooking Thanksgiving turkeys or just cooking turkey in general. Yeah, it's difficult. Which is difficult. But would you say a prime rib is easier than a turkey? Because turkey you have to get.

It's more forgiving. It's still. It's more. I think prime rib is more forgiving than turkey because you got your really dry. Do you know how hard it is to defrost a turkey? As someone who took three turkeys frozen from the grocery store and just threw them in the trunk of my 2017 certified pre-owned Nissan Altima. Yeah, that's right. That means I can take it back to Universal City Nissan to get it serviced whenever I want and go free of charge.

That's amazing. And that's the universal city nissan guarantee i forgot that like car dealerships actually sponsored podcasts i probably shouldn't be doing that whatever i got i had a great time there as someone who just threw three frozen turkeys in my trunk assuming they would defrost in 12 hours when we needed them for a shoot and they did not they were still icy i guess i do understand that but like i don know, prime rib to me, because that seems to be the main contender in this discourse. So you would eat prime rib, maybe.

That is what like the new school kind of foodie people seem to insist on, is that prime rib should be the new large service, large format main course of choice for all holidays. I would also eat a whole duck. I would do a goose. Whole duck. So this is actually really. I would do a goose.

Wait, geese actually suck. People talk about geese like the goose meat is bad. Is it? Goose meat's worse than turkey. When's the last time you actually had? Never in my life. I wanted to try it, but now you just soiled it. You soiled my dream.

You soiled my geese. You soiled my geese, Josh. Sounds like a horrible innuendo for something. Hey, have you ever gotten your geese soiled? Ew, man.ed it. You soiled my dream. You soiled my geese. You soiled my geese, Josh. Sounds like a horrible innuendo for something. Hey, you ever gotten your geese soiled? Ew, man. Stop it. I'm sorry. Last Thanksgiving, actually, my brother and I, you know, we don't have like a ton of family

in the area. And so we decided to just do like a small hipster foodie wino Thanksgiving. I think I remember. Yeah. Didn't you overcook your pie? Oh, I burnt my pie. I burnt the pies. See, I remember yeah didn't you overcook your pie oh i burnt my pie i burnt your pies i remember yeah i was drinking boulevardiers or no i was drinking french 75s because we're a little fancy boys yeah lovely cocktail and then i burnt my pies but the pies

were a um i used chinese almond cookies to make the crust and then i made a jasmine milk tea custard yum with like a red bean a sweet and red azuki bean. I would do without the red beans. Yeah, honestly, the red beans weren't great. It should have been just custard. But what I'm saying is we did this whole kind of like foodie, hipster, very sort of Chinese cooking inflected meal.

We did like greens with XO sauce. You know, my brother did a whole five spice roasted duck. Oh, fabulous. And all that. Yeah, it was really lovely. Except the whole roasted duck really kind of sucked.

And this speaks to another problem that like cooking an entire animal like that, when you're trying to roast things to particular temperatures, kind of sucks because what's the best way to cook, say, a duck breast? You score it and you sear it. To what temperature? Is this a test? No, I'm saying like- If I don't get this answer right, are you going to kick me out of the kitchen?

Yes, because we always cook classic French duck breast. Is it 140? Well, no, I'm just saying like medium rare or like medium, right? 140. Yeah. I'm saying you're not cooking it all the way through. No, no. Yeah.

Yeah. But then the best way to cook, say, a duck leg. Is confit. Confit. Which are the opposite of cooking methods. Yeah. Confit is long, low, and slow, cooking it down to render all of its fat and just shred it. We have duck legs in the kitchen.

Oh, we totally do. Oh, my God. We have a bunch of dope aromatics, too. Okay. I'm going to tell Trevor real its fat and just shred it. We have duck legs in the kitchen. Oh, we totally do. Oh, my God. We have a bunch of dope aromatics, too. Okay, I'm going to tell Trevor real quick. We got this. Sorry, we got distracted. Yeah, Nicole is literally texting Trevor to start confiting our duck. Trevor has been alerted that we are going to confit ducks.

I'm really excited. What a good day for us. Oh, my God. Back to my point about cooking whole animals. A duck breast is best medium rare with all that fat rendered out. Duck legs are best confit at a very low temperature for a long time. So how the hell are you going to accomplish that when they're on the same carcass? Really simple.

So one thing that I learned in culinary school when I was cooking. My name is Nicole. I went to culinary school. No, no, no. I cooked quail for the first time at school. And I was really, really curious on how to cook it properly. My teacher, Mitchell Frieder, who is my favorite person on the- Yeah, we love Mitchell.

I love Mitchell Frieder more than any other human on the face of this earth. He is a wonderful person, literally taught me everything I know. You take foil and you put it in the freezer for a little bit. And you make a breastplate and then you put it on the quail as it's roasting. Well, so does that insulate it from the heat so it gets interesting? Yes, that's something he taught me. But then I guess that speaks to the further point that like cooking whole animals properly is very difficult for the home cook to do.

I agree. But turkey is like one of those things that's so sentimental to people. They'll just do it willy-nilly and not know how to do it properly. Yeah. I mean, that's so sentimental to people. They'll just do it willy-nilly and not know how to do it properly. Yeah. I mean, that's exactly what we did. Like we had the same dry turkey every year that you absolutely had to soak in Heinz canned gravy is what we would use because none of us knew how to cook. But that said, when my brother and I like really learned how to cook and started making our own, learned how to brine turkeys, when to tent, when to baste, all this stuff is when I really learned that like, oh crap, turkey can be really delicious.

I guess. Brining turkey is the biggest difference. Yeah. I mean, we're lucky and blessed that we are so passionate about food that we actively seek out ways to make food taste good. Oh, that's interesting. I'm talking about the everyman. Like the everyman's turkey sucks.

Joe Turkey Pack. Joe Turkey Pack? Joe Turkey. It's a play on Joe Six Pack. Joe Turkey Pack? Joe Turkey. It's a play on Joe Six Pack, but it didn't. There was no pun. There was no pun there. Strike that from the record. Okay, that was a dumb joke.

So sorry. That was dumb. Yeah, I mean, the average turkey isn't good. Like a steak, a steak is good. A chicken, chicken's good. Steak, I don't know. I grew up thinking that I hated steak because my parents would just unseasoned, throw it into the broiler. But no, think of my parents as, you know, an average representation.

Are they? Well, I'd be curious if you actually took them, like, if you put everyone in America on a scale of like 1 to 100 as far as how good of a cook they are, put it on a strict bell curve, and then you took the median of that, I wonder what their cooking would taste like. That's a really, I think that should be something we do. That would be really interesting for me to find out. If that's possible, I don't know how we could, it's like a census. Yeah, we need about, Maggie, we need like a

special budget of $9 trillion. Culinary census, coming to you, 2022. We're gonna do this, but I am really curious to see like what the dead-on average American cook cooks like because my parents were probably worse than the average american cook i think my parents are pretty good cooks yeah yeah but also my dad hates turkey too so maybe it's genetic could be we do not have turkey in the house ever unless it's like some weird like hormel turkey like the sliced crap that you get. Yeah, I love that. Give me the processed meats.

Processed meat. My dad loves processed meat for some reason. He's also an Arby's super fan. Arby's has the most processed meat in the game. It tastes like wet paper soaked in MSG and I love it. Honestly, I love Arby's so much. Yeah, I think I should get my dad an Arby's merch t-shirt. I thought you should.

You absolutely should. They have one. We literally had Arby's jumpsuits in here. What thought I, you should. You absolutely should. We literally had Arby's jumpsuits in here. What? Ask David or something if we can find them. Was this before my time?

Yeah. Oh, man. I thought I hated, this is just the podcast of things that Josh thought he hated until he had a good, I thought I hated

legit roast beef because it didn't taste like Arby's. No, well, that's different. Because Arby's has such a signature snap to it. Yeah, it's like that beautiful processed pink with the little edges being like-

The nitrate piercing. Oh my God, so nitrate-y. It's so funny. But again, I don't know where my dislike of- Also like ground turkey, trash. Ground turkey is the most soulless meat product. It's basura. I drink like- I drink like God. I eat like three pounds of ground turkey a week because when I'm cooking at home, like I eat so many flavorful, tasty things. I work when I'm cooking at home, like I make tasty, flavorful meals and I treat myself and whatnot. But a lot of times I'm just like, give me protein, give me starch, give me vegetable. And I'll just like throw ground turkey and crap in a pot, go take a shower, come out, pour sauce on it and eat it.

Yeah. And I'm fine with that. But I agree that it is soulless. It's like the water of proteins. Yeah, it doesn't do anything for me. Like turkey bacon sucks too. Anything other than like processed turkey breast doesn't really taste good. Unless I have someone who's an artist, who's like amazing, unbelievably, undeniably talented at cooking a turkey, like a whole turkey,

I'm not going to enjoy it. That's, I wonder if we have a negative view of turkey deniably talented at cooking a turkey turkey like a whole turkey i'm not gonna enjoy it that's i wonder if we have a negative view of turkey because of this low-fat diet craze of the 80s that a lot of our parents kind of did your parents like do any of that honey i was raised on snack wells snack oh my god the snack wells devil foods cookies do you remember those why did we have the same childhood because we grew up in the same time You're just one year older than me when you think about it. It means I had another year of eating snack well devil's food. They're the texture on those.

They're so chewy and almost taffy like, but a cookie. Can we find, do they still make that? I would kill for one of those right now. I would love, I would dip it in my espresso right now. Oh my God. Okay. But what I'm saying, both our parents seem to have that kind of like weird, low fat, low calorie cottage cheese, cottage cheese all the time. And then all of the products that were lower fat than their legit counterparts were made of Turkey. Yes. Like I grew up grilling

Turkey burgers in one, you can't even like grill a Turkey burger because the meat's so loose and it falls apart. And so I grew up eating these crappy Turkey burgers that were just like mashed into the grill for sure. And half ground and all that. So I think I did grow up with that negative connotation of turkey. Yeah. You know, one dry Thanksgiving bird and then just like crappy, flavorless, soulless ground turkey all the time. Yeah. But I wonder if there is like, because what I talked about, like it is a real movement right now where people are talking about like don't cook turkey on Thanksgiving.

And I think it's probably from a lot of people from our generation. That makes sense. Who were raised on this ground turkey, low fat think it's probably from a lot of people from our generation. That makes sense. Who were raised on this ground turkey, low-fat industrial complex. That makes a lot of sense to me. That's a trick. Yeah, it makes sense. But do you think it sucks? No, I still don't though.

I still don't. But I think it takes, I think you need that activation energy, that escape velocity to leave Plato's cave. What are these words? Oh, frick. No, for real. You need to break the illusion that turkey is a substitute. Similar, you brought up tofu earlier, right?

Yeah. Tofu is a delicious dish that is made from the pressed, separated soy curds, right? Been around for centuries, right? Millennia. I mean, tofu has been eaten in China for millennia, and then it kind of exploded in America in the 70s with this kind of like hippie crunchy movement. So people now in America often associate tofu with like bland, white, typically vegan food. No. Whereas you eat mapo tofu. Yeah. The Sichuan dish covered

in delicious ground pork and Sichuan chilies. Delicious. Absolutely delicious. Yeah. So I think we view turkey as this crappy substitute meat for a better meat when it doesn't have to be that way hmm i never thought of it that way until you broke it down like that right yeah i guess so it doesn't change your mind i don't know like if you put a turkey burger in front of me verse okay let's think about versus like yeah like a turkey burger versus a regular burger no No. No. A roasted turkey breast versus a duck breast. No, duck. No, duck.

But, but, but, but, that's not the whole duck. If it was a perfectly cooked duck breast. Okay, but who's eating a whole turkey? Well, I'm saying like that's what you have to do the verses with. No, I don't. I'm talking about individuals. Okay. Let me keep going.

We're not just talking about turkey in relation to Thanksgiving then. We're talking about. Okay, okay, okay. No, no, no. I'm going to talk about different not just talking about turkey in relation to Thanksgiving then. We're talking about... No, no, no. I'm going to talk about different turkey. Go on. I'm going to talk about different turkey variations. I'm all riled up on the vision of Benjamin Franklin. Franklin.

You said Franklin. Benjamin Franklin. Franklin. Through syllables. Franklin. Okay. Turkey bacon versus beef bacon. Versus beef bacon. Have you ever had beef bacon? I've never had good beef bacon. Versus beef bacon.

Have you ever had beef bacon? I've never had good beef bacon. What about duck bacon? I'd go duck bacon over turkey bacon. Okay. Turkey bacon is not terrible though. If you don't think of it as bacon. Stop it.

I'm just an apologist at this point. No, stop being an apologist. Let's think about a mole with turkey. Turkey mole. Yeah. Chicken mole. Turkey. Okay.

That's unique. A chicken drumstick versus a turkey drumstick? Chicken. Okay. What are some other? Oh, tacos, like ground turkey tacos, like in a healthy multi- See? So you've only said yes to one of those things.

And that's because you had it done by a specialist probably who loves turkey and is incredibly well-crafted at making turkey. But think about all the other times you've eaten turkey. I would rather have a perfectly cooked and seasoned turkey breast. Okay. Than, am I going to say it? Am I going to eat these words and regret it? Let's see. Say it. Than a well-cooked steak. to eat these words and regret it let's see say it oh then a well-cooked steak i well i think i i know that people some some people who listen to the show uh hate me and that's fine uh and they're

like josh is just a contrarian he argues to argue one that's the show you dummy uh that's the whole reason this exists we've done like 50 episodes or something dummy uh but no, I also think that steak is kind of overrated. And I think people. I do. I do. I think that it's tough to cook really perfectly. And I think, you know, I don't know, taste for taste. Sometimes I would rather have a perfectly cooked piece of bird flesh than cow flesh.

And I don't think that there's anything like, you know, endemic to cow flesh that makes it better than bird, if that makes sense. Well, you and I are clearly different people. I would rather eat a filet mignon than a turkey breast any day of the week. Yeah, I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, though, like a perfectly cooked piece of prime rib. Do you consider like a prime rib and a steak to be on equal levels of kind of like importance? Because like when you talk about Thanksgiving, we want like a big showpiece, right? Yeah, I understand the opulence of it all.

Yeah. I get it. So no, I don't think prime rib and steak are the same. Yeah. Which one do you prefer? Well, when I was growing up, I went to Lori's whenever we celebrated anything. If it was my sister's engagement,

if it was my brother getting into law school, if it was me getting a C on a math test. It didn't matter. Lori's prime rib was the spot. It was the kicket spot for me and my family for special occasions. So Lori's prime rib holds a very special place in my heart because I grew up with it.

But now, just for the ease of it, I enjoy a steak too. So I don't really know how to answer that because it depends on my mood. It depends on the celebration. It depends on the day. But I do love both very much. Yeah. Actually, to me, prime rib has this kind of specialness to it. And I don't know if it's just because of my own experiences, but I remember I talked about when my dad became a teacher and we were finally at like a little bit of disposable income. We went on like a vacation up to San Francisco. We like drove up the coast and we camped along the way to save money. And we like went out to a special dinner. And I loved through this time. I was like 10 years old.

Was it at the House of Primers? It was at the House of Primers. I knew it. It was. I knew it. Unbelievable. And it was really good. God, no, I think it would have been 12 at the time.

Yeah. But being there, and I think I was wearing like basketball shorts and flip flops because that's what 12-year-old me dressed like. It's what I also dress like now, but I now would have put on clothes. So I would choose to go to this restaurant. But, you know, they wheel around the cart and all that and they got the sides on it and they ask you what cut you want. You get to feel like you're sort of in control. There's a certain interactive element to it, which i guess could be also said for turkey but there does seem something like richer and more opulent about primary but i mean one because it's like 50 times more expensive um but two you know

there's like pomp and circumstance about it of course whereas i feel like thanksgiving has that but it's in this much more kind of you know i think of 80s movies where the dad the useless dad right has the electric turkey carver and he can't quite carve the turkey right and you know i think of 80s movies where the dad the useless dad right has the electric turkey carver and he can't quite carve the turkey right and you know the mom's all hen pecking him you know i think of that kind of like weird media nostalgia i think people associate it with and maybe don't have a taste for anymore isn't there a famous photo of a family dinner where she's putting turkey yeah what is it called is it called americana is that that what the- Is that? I think I'm thinking of the Freedom From Want. It's called Freedom From Want?

I don't know. But there's a very famous photo. It's like turkey dinner. Freedom From Want by Norman Rockwell, this one? Yep, that's the one. Like that's just a quintessential Thanksgiving picture. You know what I mean? Like that's Americana to me. It is. And there's also like a bunch of politics behind Thanksgiving picture. You know what I mean? Like that's Americana to me.

It is. And there's also like a bunch of politics behind that picture. So it's like a picture of a family. It looks like a grandma. She's serving this giant turkey. There's a kind of like old white guy sort of like hovering behind her, a bunch of smiling, happy white children in it. And it was used to represent, this was actually painted in World War II.

It was used to represent this sort of like American bounty. Right. But at the time that this was going on, like all the European countries were in the middle of bombing raids and going through like crazy wartime rations and stuff like that. And so it kind of created apparently this resentment in Europe because of that. But I think this picture perfectly exemplifies why right now some people are like turning away from Turkey because it does represent this like white bread Americana vision of what you should be eating on the day where you're thankful

right yeah there are honestly a lot of like political ties to literally everything you eat and i think that might be a kind of rejection of like our parents values like our parents they maybe you know normal ass turkey we don't want to. But for me, just protein for protein, taste for taste. I do think turkey's gotten a bad rap because of all these political influences behind why people's tastes evolve. I mean, what's more American than Thanksgiving dinner with a turkey? Nothing. Thanksgiving dinner with a giant Texas longhorn cattle. We should be roasting whole cows. We should be roasting whole cows. Alright, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say.

Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattled around the internet. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. They're like sweet potato casseroles. You put marshmallows in them and then you light them on fire. Are you okay? No, I'm never okay. I'm okay. I joke.

I live a pretty balanced life. Well, balanced in what it means to me, you know? Eat, sleep, work out, go to work. Eat, sleep, rave, repeat. Eat, sleep, rave, repeat. That was a joke I was trying to make. Oh, you were? Yeah, you didn't let me finish.

It's okay. Got the ADD. You can take the first one. All right. Marissa Heening says, Cheez-Its and apple cider are the best food combo. I don't like apples and cheese. This opinion bores me because everybody knows that Cheez-Its and apple cider are delicious.

Did you ever eat apple juice and Cheez-Its as a kid? It's the same as that thing. Man, it just has more carbonation. What do you mean carbonation? I think it's sparkling cider. What's the difference between apple cider and sparkling cider? Oh, wait for this. If it's yellow, you got juice there, fella.

If it's brown, you're in cider town. What the fruit? Shout out to friend of the show, Bill Oakley. That's a Simpsons joke. I am 95% sure he wrote that. I will tweet him to check it out. So am I wrong? Oh, sorry.

Cider's not all is sparkling. Like Martinelli's is like sparkling cider. They may be talking about that. I don't know. But when I hear cider, I just think of like the brown apple juice that's unfiltered. I don't think I've ever had that before. It's good. It's typically like heavily spiced.

Some people drink it warm. Some people drink it ice cold. I don't think I've ever had that before. It's good. It's typically like heavily spiced. Some people drink it warm. Some people drink it ice cold. I've had it hot. Yeah. I love me some apple cider and I love me some Cheez-Its. I just don't necessarily need them together and I don't like putting cheese on my apple pie.

Me either. But I do respect Marissa Heening's opinion and you keep doing you, boo. Rollin from Justin Space says, bacon, peanut butter, and ruffles on toast is amazing. Yeah, that sounds like a munchie meal if I've ever heard of one. Rail gin?

How much gin did you rail before you made bacon, peanut butter and ruffles on toast? That sounds incredible. It's a munchy meal. You know what I love about this? It's like the attention to detail on it. Yeah. Because I imagine they like put the peanut butter on the toast and they're like, no, no, no, rail gin, you can do better.

And then they're like, you know, that like salty, smoky bite of bacon might work and they put it on they're like okay this is looking pretty good but i don't think i'm done yet we need some garnish what about a little extra crunch from the ruffles i think this is an incredibly smart dish yeah i think you plated it right this could be on any fine dining menu across america ruffles are just croutons for sandwiches that's a good i prefer lays in my sandwiches okay it depends on the sandwich if we're talking about bay cities we're getting the sweet onion maui yeah yeah yeah the bread strength yeah ruffles are thicker ergo can stand up to a harder bread yeah whereas lays need a more tender bread because they are thinner and crispier

correct why are we on the same page on that nonsense opinion? Because we're crazy. All right. Ira Elliott says, My parents claim they taught me to put salt on tomato slices. I disagree. While I can appreciate salt on a tomato, its true calling is to be covered in a layer of plain white sugar.

This is an interesting point. The tomato deserves to live like the fruit it was meant to be. Hold on. Okay. No. Hold on. No. This is an interesting point. The tomato deserves to live like the fruit it was meant to be. Hold on. Okay, no. Hold on. No, to me, this is a really interesting point because, I mean, like you said, tomato is a fruit, and it does have a lot of natural sugars in it. It also has a lot of sort of vegetable-tasting compounds, has that umami, has that MSG.

It's also a little bit saline. That said, avocado has got the same thing. I mean, think about carrots. So you can put carrots in carrot cake. Like carrots can look sweet, right? Sure, but I'm not going to dump sugar on them. Avocado and hollow. You ever just put, I mean, I know you put condensed milk on avocado. I don't, but I've heard of it happening. You put honey on avocado. Yeah, I put honey on avocado. But I mean, that to me is kind of the same thing. I've never just had straight tomatoes for sugar. Okay. Let me tell you what it is. So I used to hate tomatoes when I was younger, very link-like of me, I know.

But until I put a ton of salt on them and I ate them like an apple, I didn't even know. So this is the exact opposite and it makes you want to recoil. I'm sorry. I used to hate eating raw tomatoes too. I'll never forget. I was at my Nana's cabin in the Pucanos. Your Nana had a cabin in the Pucanos? Oh, my Nana had a beautiful lake house in the Pucanos.

What? But we would always go to this really lovely little ice cream parlor, and I would get a peanut butter flavored ice cream dipped in peanut butter magic shell, and it was lovely. But I was eating dinner with my Nana. She goes, Josh, if you don't eat your vegetables. I can't do it.

My Nana's adorable. Yeah, you can't do it, do it, do it, do it. Josh, if you don't eat your vegetables, you can't go get ice cream after and i was like nana what kind of vegetables you just sliced a whole ass tomato and put it on my plate and she goes that's your vegetables josh and so i just you know you can go to a diner and get tomato slices on the side that's for old people old people my i love my nana she's just old that's why your name is you gotta put salt and pepper on it you gotta season these were plain tomato slices and they were just like the seediest romas so just all the goo.

Your Nana just wanted you to have a little bit of vegetables in your mouth. Oh, no, no. My Nana was absolutely right. I should have eaten them. But at the time, I was a child, didn't have the palate I do now, and like the texture of the seeds in my mouth was so gross that I like gagged and almost vomited. So I get the like hating raw tomato thing like you used to and like Link. But that said, now I'm

over that and I really want to try tomatoes with sugar. Good opinion, Ira Elliott. Thank you. Aguer127 says, I microwave bread because I want it warm but not crispy. Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes, 100%.

You know what my special snack is daily? My special snack daily is not daily, but like whenever I'm hella stressed out, I take a slice of white American bread and then I put a square of white American cheese and then shh, shh, shh, shh. And then I put it in the microwave for 22 seconds and then I remove it and then I give it a little flip just to see like how wet it got. And then I fold it on top of each other and then I make myself like a little half BS grilled cheese. That's my stress meal. You made that like your second week working here. And I was like, what are you doing? Because like, you know, I think when we first started working together, we may have both had some sort of airs put on.

We were afraid to really show our true colors. Me? Oh, have you been? Oh, like when you first worked here, the first day I like took you to like, oh took you to this cool kosher Israeli kebab spot. You did? I remember. And we'd talk about what restaurants in LA we loved. And then it took a week for us to be like, yeah, mostly just microwave bread and cheese and put some hot sauce on it.

Nicole, what did I eat for breakfast this morning? You had a hamburger bun with buffalo butter from Italy. But what did I do to that hamburger bun? You put it in the microwave for 15 seconds and then you took it out after three seconds because the beeps bother you. Was I right? Yes. Yeah, the beeps bother you.

Yeah, I, I honestly, I'm, I'm an anti-toaster. I think that bread is perfectly cooked the first time around and you just need to warm it back up and the microwave is the perfect tool to do that i cannot this is why i love this segment so much because as many like bad opinions we may get i still respect you get one where it's like yeah a gare 127 i see you yeah we also microwave bread because we both want it warm but not crispy agreed All right. That person who reads books, ranch on pizza or salsa on pizza is good. Salsa on pizza, you say? If we're talking California Pizza Kitchen RIP's tostada pizza, I do salsa on that.

Yeah. But now that I'm thinking about it, I have one of my things about leftover pizza is I don't like it heated up or even cold because the sauce kind of condenses and loses moisture. Sure. So I was trying, if I have tomato sauce, I'll like add some more back on the pizza. Interesting, okay. You're so bougie.

Right? But I'm not bougie, I'm just particular because I'm still microwaving day old pizza. But I have been out of tomato sauce and just used a salsa. It wasn't even a tomato based salsa. It was like a chipotle and tomatillo salsa. Interesting, okay.

On the pizza and it was really good. So I do respect this. Yeah. I think sometimes, you know, whenever you have a little El Pollo Loco salsa and you dip your pizza in it, I do that. I respect it. El Pollo Loco salsa is pretty much uncooked marinara and I don't dislike it. No, talk about the green one. Oh, the, the, yeah, yeah. The avocado sauce. That is the best mass serving salsa in the game. It's real good. I had El Pollo Loco. Did I tell you I went to El Pollo Loco last night?

You did? Yeah, I got the last two pieces of chicken at the Burbank El Pollo Loco. Wow. Dream big. I know. Dream big, Josh. I literally said to the employee, like, y'all moving that much chicken these days? And he's like, you'd be surprised.

Damn, I am. El Pollo Loco is living. El Pollo Loco is like good. Also, they have a new thing called a Crispy tamale bowl Really What's a crispy tamale bowl I don't know I just wanted the chicken

But next time I might get that Their burritos Their California burritos Are dank Dude they got the new Tapatio fries Yes that's the one I had Oh my god

It was real good It was real good We're such stupid big El Pollo Loco Is the best fast food I would say so Yeah Talk a lot about Taco Bell

El Pollo Loco Unsung hero Yeah Lewis is a boy Says tiramisu is a cass about Taco Bell I'll play a local unsung hero yeah Lewis is a boy says tiramisu is a casserole okay no it's a trifle

yeah tiramisu is a trifle no it's yeah sweet casserole trifle eat mess eat mess

you know how to eat is it eat mess or eat on mess what I thought it was eat on mess eat on mess eat on mess

I said eat on mess I said eat I thought it was eat on it. Eton mess? Eton mess. I said Eton mess. I thought it was Eton. It's a British dessert that's like a strawberry trifle-y thing. Meringue-y, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You've had an Eton mess. Those desserts don't do a ton for me. Tiramisu doesn't do a ton for me.

Okay, I don't like Tiramisu because I don't like coffee in my desserts. I like coffee on the side of my desserts. Other than ice cream, I don't understand why you'd put coffee in any sort of dessert. Best dessert, Bamia and Zulbia. Josh is trying to be Persian so bad right now. I just want to be Persian.

No, those are literally my two favorite. I mean, there's also the, I mean, like Gulab Jamun. Yeah. I love Gulab Jamun. God, there's an Indian version of Bamia and Zulbia.

I forgot what it's called. I forgot what it's called. I forgot what it's called. But yeah, just like crispy kind of pastry soaked in honey syrup. That's what I want. I don't need fancy desserts like that. Give me something sweet to eat with coffee. Okay. What's your favorite dessert?

Like what do you want after a meal? My favorite dessert of all time, it's cheesecake. I love cheesecake. I also love chocolate mousse. I love- But do you love that in the context of a meal or do you just love that like eating it, you know, kind of at any time? Anytime. Yeah.

I had a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. Oh, yeah. I literally. You came in. I came in and I felt really guilty and I just came in like, hey, I put a cookie on the company card, but I ate it all. Sorry. It happens. It happens. It happens.

All right. At Peyton Blackledge, fried eggs on spaghetti. That's all. You know, I've tried to do, I have tried to do the breakfast pasta thing. And for me, for some reason, I am a huge advocate of your body doesn't know what time of day it is. You might as well eat, you know, a breakfast burrito for dinner. You might as well eat spaghetti for breakfast, et cetera. But for some reason, for me, a fried egg on spaghetti did not work for my particular palate. Not on like red sauce spaghetti. Like if

you made like a creamy white sauce and you chopped up some bacon in there through a little bit of, you know, spinach and then you put a fried egg. Yeah, that makes sense. but just like straight up like spaghetti with like tomato sauce no that doesn't work for me you know i think it is for me i think it's the texture of egg whites is too similar to the texture of pasta oh okay you know that's that's where it that's where it breaks for me i guess that makes sense to me yeah yeah it's ihe says spaghetti sauce is better on rice because it soaks up the sauce versus pasta where it just falls to the bottom. Your pasta has an upside and a downside? What? I don't get that.

No, I know what they're saying and I know what the problem is. Okay, tell me because I don't get it. Okay, so speaking as the person who grew up with probably a 30th percentile, if not lower, parents who cooked, right? percentile, if not lower, parents who cooked, right? The way that we would make pasta is you would boil the spaghetti, you would put it in a giant serving bowl, plain, with probably a quarter cup of pasta water that just fell to the bottom, and then you would put it on your plate, and then you would sauce it directly on your plate. Oh, no, no, no.

So that's the problem, right? No, no, no. That's what I think they're talking about, the sauce falling to the bottom. Interesting. Okay. So what you should be doing is cooking your pasta to just before you like it, to just before the doneness that you like it, and then you should be sauteing that pasta in the sauce. Okay. Yeah. Because that way the noodles actually soak up the sauce, which is essentially the same theory behind the rice, right? Yeah. If you were to put just

spaghetti sauce on kind of watery white rice, then it would also fall to the bottom. Yeah. It would be great. I understand what you're saying. Let your pasta soak up the sauce. Saute it in the sauce, then plate it. However, there is a special dispensation for Filipino spaghetti to not do that because Filipino spaghetti is better. I think there's so much sugar in the sauce that it just keeps it kind of like in a hole on top.

Yeah, and then all the grated yellow cheese on it. Yeah, if you don't, suggestion, you should try your pasta sauces, your spaghetti sauce on polenta. Give that a try. It's like the perfect median between rice and pasta. You talking like grit style polenta or polenta cake? Oh, grit style.

I don't like polenta cakes. I love them. No, no, no. Fried polenta fries? No, no, no. I hate that stuff. Just give me some beautiful, sloppy, soft polenta that falls on the plate like a beautiful piece of lace. Yeah, I can't top that.

I'm done. I'm out. Kangaroo. Putting an expensive ingredient in a basic slash inexpensive dish makes it better. This is a little show called Fancy Fast Food. It's out every Thursday. No, it's out occasionally. But, yeah, I mean, that's one of the best bites of food I've ever had was caviar.

I had snuck into a fancy food event with a fake ID when I was 19. My brother got me tickets for my birthday. It was unbelievable. And I was drinking champagne and I put they put creme fraiche on a Lay's potato chip with caviar. And it was this like, you know, Lay's potato chip familiarity with this very expensive, beautiful caviar interesting and it was this like you know Lay's potato chip familiarity with this very expensive beautiful caviar and a little bit of creme fraiche to kind of like you know wash it down it had all the familiarity of like chips and french onion dip except with this beautiful product on it and I think that's a really powerful combination is that like you know expensive

delicious ingredient with the nostalgia and familiarity. High-low. High-low. We call it high-low in the industry. In the industry, toots. Yeah, but again, like, it can't just be a willy-nilly random ingredient. Like, you putting a fistful of saffron in your spaghetti bolognese would do anything. Truffles on a Costco hot dog.

Yeah, like, it needs to be intentional, I think is the most important thing. Like, if you're going to put something in an expensive ingredient in there, make sure it's an intentional ingredient. Don't just be, you know, ostentatious and wild with it. Like we are on fancy fast food. Sometimes it works.

Yeah. On the rare occasion, whenever you're being like uber, uber fancy, it'll all come together and be just one fancy mess. But typically just be a little bit, have a little bit of awareness whenever you're doing that and you'll be successful. One time in the office, we had caviar left over from the thing and i just put it on an oscar meyer bologna sandwich pretty good not gonna lie pretty good what's what's like an expensive ingredient that you think people should have on hand and like can't add to things just to make it better uh

saffron yeah yeah but saffron's such a heavy, I mean, I guess you just need like one thread. You need one thread. Yeah. One thread completely. Well, you have to get good saffron. Try to get Iranian saffron. I'm not just saying that because I am Iranian. A lot of Spanish saffron that's sold here has a lot of food dye in it. And it has a very acrid iodine-y taste to it,

specifically the fake ones that you get from like the store. Go to like a legit saffron person. The back market in a fruit and nut area of a Persian market is where you get it. You look at the guy with the mustache and his shirt open halfway to his tummy and his name is probably like Jahangir or something and you just go saffron and he shakes his head and like pinches his eyes together and then you give him $20 and he gives you like an ounce and you just walk away quietly. Sorry. What? Does that happen? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. I want to go. That's how I get saffron. That's how I get my saffron. How about you, Josh? Oh, that's a good question.

I, I don't know. I mean, I use like nice expensive hot sauces. Certainly don't go to secret saffron dealers in the fruit and nut section of persian markets but no i'm actually trying to think if there is something that i would like recommend people having like i think a good smoked gray sea salt yeah it's a really cool thing salt is important like not like himalayan pink salt some salt that actually has you know a sort of additive to it in a way so it's like smoked gray sea salt for me if you just replace normal salt with that on any protein it's gonna like taste a's like smoked gray sea salt for me if you just replace normal salt with that on any protein it's gonna like taste a lot better i love gray salt yeah okay last one of the day

hey i'm full says a spoonful of nutella licked like a lollipop makes a great dessert gonna lick lick lick that nutella like a lollipop okay uh sorry this was my childhood my mom would literally ration it out to me and my friends after our big spaghetti party with the paper. You did talk about your big spaghetti parties. Yeah, our spaghetti party with the newspapers on the floor. She would take a spoonful of Nutella on a plastic spoon and just give it to us. My mom is really a great lady. Like, I can't wait for you to meet my mom.

I want to meet Shella so much. She's the best. So, yeah, so this Nutella, I still do this to this day with Nutella, but also peanut butter, but mostly Nutella. I'm not the biggest Nutella fan. I like to put peanut butter on a spoon and then I cover the whole thing in honey and I kind of tongue out the middle of it and try and ration my honey. Hey, Maggie's staring at me with daggers right now.

Let me tongue out my honey peanut butter spoon. Don't look at me. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or at Handizadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasserole.

And for more Mythical Chicken, for more Mythical Chicken, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your turkey dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. We'll see you next time. Mythical Chicken, that should be our first product that we sell. Okay, cool, but it's fake chicken because it's mythical and not real.

Yeah, it's just a turkey. you