A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Is Kit-Kat Technically a Lasagna?

Episode Date: September 23, 2020

The Kit-Kat, saucy chocolate layered between crispy wafers. Could this sweet snack have a cheesy Italian cousin? Today we ask the question: Is a Kit-Kat a lasagna? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. The Kit Kat, saucy chocolate layered between crispy wafers. Could this sweet snack have a cheesy Italian cousin? Today we ask the question, is a Kit Kat a lasagna? This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today we are discussing if Kit Kat is a lasagna.

So this came up... Why are you laughing? Because the answer is clear. Nicole, no, it is not. These are serious philosophical quandaries that we must take with respect. So this came up because we did, is a Pop-Tart a ravioli? Sure. And many people responded with, Pop-Tart sure ain't no ravioli, but a Kit Kat is a lasagna.

And that got me thinking. I think a Kit Kat is at least more of a lasagna than a Pop-Tart is a ravioli. Because you got thin layers of some sort of wheat flour-based dough. Stay with me here, Nicole. You got- Mille-fouille, huh? Mille-fouille.

Mille-fouille. Mille-vanille. Hold on, hold on. Wait, mille-vanille, they were great. I don't care that they, they lip-synced? Yes. Yeah, well, you know, we all fake it sometimes. All the time.

All the time. What do you mean? Fake it till you make it. Yeah, totally. All right, so a Kit-Kat is definitely more of a lasagna than a Pop-Tart is a ravioli. You have thin layers of a wheat-based dough covered with a sort of sauce. Now, I know you may object at the word sauce because Kit Kat obviously is solid chocolate. Yes, it is.

What happens when you throw that Kit Kat in the microwave? It's sauce. It's melted chocolate. That's called chocolate sauce. What happens when you put a lasagna in the fridge? It solidifies. It solidifies into the same shape as a Kit Kat. What I'm saying is a Kit Kat is very similar to a lasagna, so much so that I'm willing to call it a lasagna.

I am willing to take the side of the radical lasagna inclusionists. That is the radical left of the lasagna political paradigm. Oh, my goodness. I am essentially Antifa of the lasagna political paradigm. Oh my goodness. I am essentially Antifa of the lasagna world. We should buy that domain name, Lasagna Antifa. Yeah, do we have lasagnaantifa.org? We're going to buy it. Is that available?

Can we get someone to check? So I'm willing to say it's lasagna. I think it's similar enough. And I think to me, the temperature situation, that is a compelling argument. Okay, so you clearly think Kit Kat is a lasagna. What about other layered foods? What about a layer cake?

Again, as a layer cake, a lasagna? No, because layer cakes are leavened past a certain percentage of density. I think you have, you must take density into account. I understand.

Now we've made Kit Kats on the show, right? We did the cinnamon toast crunch Kit Kat. Yeah. It was delicious. It was delicious. And we frankly frankly, used an unleavened sort of

dough or batter to make that pastry crust in the middle. We sure did. Right? And that turned out very Kit Kat. I understand the Kit Kat wafers are technically leavened. However, I think if you were to take a density reading of, say, something like a layer cake, which obviously layer cakes are I would argue club sandwiches.

Get me out of here. A layer cake is a club sandwich. It's bread. To me, there's no distinction between- Cake isn't bread. Cake is bread. Cake's absolutely bread. Banana bread.

Josh, no. Stop it. There's two kinds of bread. There's quick bread and yeast bread, but both are breads because they got bread in the name. Oh my gosh. Get out of here. Okay, I'm just saying. Maria Antoinette said, Nate said, hey, Maria Antoinette, what's up, girl?

Your people, candy bread. And then she was like, let them be cake. So they're not the same. Yeah, and then they killed her because they were like, bread is cake, you moron. No, it's not. Cake and bread are similar, but they're not the same. That's like, okay, you know what? Whenever you do this to me, I hyperventilate. Yeah.

My strategy in these debates is to get, it's like muhammad ali's rope-a-dope right like you get your opponent breathing so heavy that they just can't keep fighting in the later rounds yeah because later you're just gonna be so out of breath they're gonna start agreeing to random stuff i just think that's my end i'm like mountain dew is technically a bolognese and you're like yeah i guess i don't know it's got liquid in it so i suppose no i know first of all, the Kit Kat layer, the actual cookie layer, is not similar to pasta dough. How so? Would you consider a cookie and a sheet of pasta to be the same thing? How thin this cookie?

Thin. Are we talking about a Stroopwafel? Because that's sold. Yeah, okay, Stroopwafel. Does a Stroopwafel count as a's sold yeah does the stroopwafel count as a cookie i was gonna bring this up the other day because they're sold in the giant bulk cookie bins at whole foods yes they are which if there's one thing the pandemic has made me miss it's um like emotionally intimate interactions with other people but the second thing is the whole foods

bulk cookie bin oh my gosh now you can't do it have you seen what whole foods is doing in like their hot bar yes of course they have like an attendant and you got to be like, yo, give me a scoop of the brown. Do you know how much that sucks that I can't steal little nibbles anymore? That's the worst. I love- This has stopped you from committing the smallest of crimes, stealing an olive from the Sicilian olive drum at Whole Foods. Oh my gosh, yeah.

Don't even get me started on the olives that I used to taste test, quote unquote. I would just, I would stand in line, buy the olives. But by the time I got to the cashier, it was like a three quarters of the way done. I was just spitting the pits into my palm. I get, did I say I got called out? I got called out for doing that by a Whole Foods cashier once. You did? But I did it unknowingly.

I was buying like a box of cherry tomatoes. You know, you go in the Whole Foods produce section section they have little boxes of cherry tomatoes and it just said like you know four dollars it didn't say per pound no well i didn't see it but i also can't read and i have an astigmatism so this is where the conflict arose so i grabbed this four dollar what i assumed was a box of cherry tomatoes why else would you like put them in a box yeah but they weren't pre-portioned and then i was just just snacking on them in line at the cashier, figuring like, oh, it doesn't matter. It's four per box. And the cashier like kind of looks at me and says like, enjoying a midday snack, huh? And I thought she was just kind of like bantering

with me. And I was like, oh yeah, they're good tomatoes, you know? And then I just kept eating them. And she was like, seriously, you're going to pay for those? And I was like, oh, it's sorry. It's $4 per box. So I figured I was just buying my rights to the box. And she was like, it's per pound. And I was just like, I don't know what to do. And she was just like, I'm just going to charge you $2 extra. Like she just decided. I was like, okay, one lady.

I didn't eat half this damn box. I had like six cherry tomatoes. It's not worth $2. But I was too embarrassed to fight it. It's okay. Whenever I used to go shopping with my mom, we would both finish the cuties box, you know, the cutie box. And we would just throw the box at the cashier, like, and we would take the wrappers and we would, like, fold them up and, like, put them in between, like, the cans and stuff. Bad. She taught me some bad habits.

I love my mom, but, like, that's a bad habit. I would love to see a total tally of how much, I love how we have a sponsorship from Kroger on the YouTube channel occasionally, but I would still love to see a tally of how much we have stolen from grocery stores over the years with our little nibbles. $300. Unintentionally. So what I'm saying is a Stroopwafel as seen in the Whole Foods bulk cookie bin, I think would be thin enough to be reasonably considered a sort of pasta dough. I don't think that makes any sense at all. Pasta dough has no sugar in it. Well, I mean, this comes down to a sort of semantics issue

of what you consider to be like food proxies, right? The choco taco. Do you consider the choco taco to be a taco? I think the choco taco is one of the most brilliant culinary creations of all time. One of, it's the most brilliant. I love choco tacos. Agreed, choco tacos are fantastic. No, I think it's a confection that happens to be in the shape of all time. One of it's the most brilliant. I love Choco Tacos. Agreed. Choco Tacos are fantastic. No, I think it's a confection

that happens to be in the shape of a taco. But like what actually separates a Choco Taco from a taco? I've had some like, I've had some very legitimate, because I think the tortilla could be, you know, the answer here. What is a tortilla?

Exactly. Especially the fact that like flour tortillas, there's this big movement. So many people think that flour tortillas are inauthentic and corn tortillas are authentic, but now there's this big movement, especially from people who are from like Sonora and Baja, Mexico, and just, you know, Mexican Americans who grew up in the U S or just like, yo, my family had been eating flour tortillas for a hundred years. Like, why are you telling me they're inauthentic? So if you say that, like, you know, a flat, you know, disc of some sort

of dough made from either corn or flour or possibly even an alternative can be a tortilla why not you know a waffle cone dough batter what is a is a kfc double down a sandwich because of course oh my kfc double down one more layer on a kfc double down and that becomes a lasagna as a as a member of the radical left lasagna inclusionary group find us on Facebook. We're mostly Russian bots, actually Belarusian now if you follow the news. Belarusian. Who thought that we'd cover the Belarusian autocracy problem in this podcast about Kit Kats?

I sadly did. Josh, there is no way on planet Earth if I took two KFC Double Downs and I presented them to you. Like, here, have a slice of lasagna. No, I don't necessarily believe that that's lasagna. no way on planet earth if i took two kfc double downs and i presented them to you like here have a slice of lasagna no i don't necessarily believe that that's lasagna i think the case for the double down being a sandwich is slightly compelling no it's not a sandwich it's just two chicken patties with stuff in the center but to me there's there's some element of intent to that and i think this is where maybe my argument for kit kat being a lasagna is sort of moot. Because to me, a KFC Double Down being a sandwich. Moot. What does moot mean?

Is moot a word? Did I make it up? Ryan said moot today. Really? What are you saying, Ryan? Ryan's in my head. Moot seems like a word. It means like kaput. Moot? Look up moot. Oh, moot means subject to debate, dispute, or uncertainty. Ah, my argument

is moot. Moot, I tell you. You were just a moot person. Whenever I say moot, I think of mootabal, the lovely Lebanese egg, or Lebanese Armenian egg plant dip? Same thing. Ah, delicious. Anyways, I think intent does come into play because they double down. The intent is for you to eat it as a sandwich. Yeah, but you don't eat a Kit Kat as a lasagna.

Exactly. That's why I'm now rethinking my radical lasagna inclusionary. It always happens. It always happens. That's the thing. You know, they say when you grow up, when you're young, if you're not a radical leftist lasagna inclusionist, you don't have a heart. But as you get older, if you're not a right wing radical lasagna conservatoriness, then you don't have a brain. That's what I'm, yep. That's what everyone told us growing up. Yes. And we didn't think it was true, and here we are. Yeah, that's what they told me in grade five.

There was an interesting thing about the Double Down. Shout out to New Yorker food columnist Helen Rosner, who open-mized the fact that the Double Down is just chicken cordon bleu. It sure is. Which to me is really funny because when the Double Down came out, so many people were like, this is why America is obese, which one, shut the hell up with that. It is so anytime we make anything that's just like, I don't know, fried chicken covered in chips, which is like not even worse for you than just normal fried chicken. It might be a little worse.

Yeah, but I mean, they're chips aren't. Hydrogenated oils. I suppose so. Yeah, you got some. But that's not the reason America is obese. The reason America is obese, and I don't even want to get into, you know, the whole argument about what obesity actually means

for our health and all that. But like, you know, our nutritional problems can be traced to just like government decisions about corn subsidies and poverty and food deserts in the inner city. It is not because of one person making a chicken sandwich. Sure, the conditions to make that chicken sandwich

and have a market from it could have arisen from national culture. But like, nah, one sandwich ain't the reason. Come on. I don't think so either. No, I don't think one sandwich is the reason. But I do think it is a product of the government. Oh, yeah. And everything that we've created.

Spam. I blame spam. Spiced ham in a can. It tastes too good. Is that what spam stands for? Spiced ham? Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. Spam is a portmanteau for spiced ham. I love the word portmanteau portmanteau is my favorite

portmanteau more than i say like you know why because it's a jeopardy word uh i learned it from jeopardy the intent of kit kat right is not to eat a candy bar it's oh god i got the i got the tuna egg burps oh my god here's the thing I ate a bunch of tuna eggs. Not eggs from the fish of a tuna, but I scrambled tuna with eggs. I'm trying this new macro counting diet. It's going really well for all of us. It's going pretty well for me. Nicole and Trevor kind of just make fun of me a lot in the kitchen. Go, Josh, no, don't put the yogurt in the eggs.

And I'm like, I'm going to put the yogurt in the eggs. It's got proteins in it. I had to stop you from eating a Funyun today. That is true. I only ate half a Funyun. I will enforce the yogurt in the eggs. It's got proteins in it. I had to stop you from eating a Funyun today. That is true. I only ate half a Funyun. I will enforce the macro power on you. We normally like to be body positive on this podcast. But now that we're talking about radical left-wing Kit Kat lasagna inclusionary, I think we're just –

Josh. We're all over the place ideologically right now. Josh, you cannot sit here and tell me that you think a KFC Double Down is a sandwich and a lasagna is a Kit Kat. You can't do that. That makes no sense. Your world is just all kinds of topsy-turvy. Hold on. Okay. Let's look at lasagna and what it really means, right? We're talking about the casserole style of lasagna because the intent of a Kit Kat is to be eaten as, you know, a sort of snack, right? It was invented in britain for like don't ask me it was like invented in britain for people on their tea breaks and then they were like break

me off a piece of that kit kat bar and so they would break it and apparently there was a single tester in every factory where after a kit kat would come off the line they'd take it and make sure it broke cleanly which i thought was really stupid until we made our own Kit Kats. Yeah, QC, it's real. And they didn't break cleanly on camera. And I was like, I hate myself when that happened. And so now I understand we should have had a factory worker. Trevor is our QC for the most part. Trevor's our QC.

Yeah, he kind of comes in. Wears a lot of hats around here. Yeah, he really does. God bless him. He's mostly our swag doctor. Yes, he prescribed me 50 milligrams of swag after each meal. Okay, what did the judge... How did I...

You go. You go. Pasta, sauce, cheese, pasta, sauce, cheese. What is pasta sauce? What is pasta? You keep saying this term pasta sauce like I know what you're talking about. Tomato and or... Oh, tomato is the only sauce I can describe.

I'm not done. I said and or. You don't even let me talk the whole way. Tomato and or pesto and or white sauce. And then you put vegetales or meats. And then you put the quesos. And then you do that. The quesos.

And then you do that like another like 70 times until you are satisfied with your lasagna creation. Nicole, you're a fancy woman, right? You like nice things. I like. I want to sleep pretty. Nicole, you're a fancy woman, right? You like nice things. I like, I want to sleep pretty.

You tweeted the other day that you wanted the Louis Vuitton face mask, I believe, to prevent COVID, but also look swagging. That was, I believe, what you tweeted. Can you confirm this? No. I tweeted and I said that the world's morality is rotten to the core and I cannot believe capitalism has done this. And then in small font, I said, where can I get this? this yeah yeah you're a fancy lady like fancy yeah i'm sure you've been to la's coolest hippest fanciest italian restaurant bestia correct once with my teacher i know like who could get in more than once right oh such a fancy place but did you ever have they had an oxtail, I believe, cassarecce? No. Where the pasta dough was made with cacao powder in it.

Nicole, that was chocolate pasta dough. It had raisins in the sauce. I'm saying there are sweet chocolatey pastas that exist in the Italian culinary canon. I got that. What? And I get that. That's fine. Wait, did you actually have that dish?

It's really one of the best. It's like truly one of the best pasta dishes in LA. When I went there, it had a saffron agnolotti. It was really good. But no, I have had chocolate pasta before. I've had Nutella noodles and like all that stuff. But like, I don't understand why you think Kit Kat was made with the intent to be a lasagna. It wasn't.

It certainly wasn't. But I think we need to look at, is there a universal term? It's like to me the argument of like, is meatloaf a sausage? It's a meatball. What? It's forced meat. Well, it's not technically forced meat, but some sausages are forced meat. So forced meat, we're referring to bologna and hot dogs where the meat is like fully

blended and emulsified with other things. So it's kind of smooth versus other fresh sausages like bratwurst where it's typically a coarser grind. versus other fresh sausages like bratwurst where it's typically a coarser grind. So sausage to me is an overarching blanket term for this like ground meat mixed with other things. And it doesn't necessarily need to have a casing because then what is Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage? Or what is Mexican chorizo fresco? Even yummier.

Even yummier. Oh, that's the tuna burps. I'm so sorry. That's the yogurt. Oh my gosh. It was fine until I added the yogurt to the hot scrambled eggs and then it sweat. So you got a little bit of yogurt condensation. Ew. We need the macros, Nicole.

Why are you doing this to me? What I'm saying is, is there an overarching term for a like layered carb, carbolicious food that we can kind of apply to a Kit Kat? I don't think there has. It's a confection. It is a confectionary. But there, of course, are like different subcategories within the confection it is a confectionary but there of course are like different sub categories within the confection right just because something is sweet doesn't necessarily

make it out of another category no but i don't think you should fall into the category of a casserole which is what a lasagna is i okay i may agree with that in fact now that i'm thinking about it i believe i do agree with that that kit kat is not a lasagna. It sure isn't. However, I think there needs to be a, let's call it an empirical term to describe a layered dish like that, that I believe lasagna would fall under. So I'm now switching my argument, Nicole. Kit Kat is not a lasagna. However, both lasagna and Kit Kats are Napoleon. Oh. A Napoleon.

Oh. Quelle fantastique. Quelle fantastique indeed. I know what that is. Zut alors. I love Napoleons. Tu écoutes un fatal bazooka? That's my favorite French rap group.

Yeah, so we're talking about Napoleons or mille-feuilles. They're the same thing, right? Mm-hmm. Which is the French pastry that is, it's puff pastry layered with cream, puff pastry, creme pâte. It's either a creme pâte or it's whipped cream. Yeah, so it's some sort of whipped cream, but we're saying it's some sort of layered wafer 100 filling wafer filling wafer and that can be crispy or you know have you ever had a soft napoleon no i haven't but it defeats the purpose

this is tough a lasagna is not a napoleon but a napoleon but a kit a Kit Kat is a cousin, direct descendant of a Napoleon. I still think there has to be some sort of overarching category. Why? No, there isn't. To find these layered foods. Nicole, that's not the brain word. That is the reason that man overtook lizards. Actually, I read an article and I think it was something about mushrooms. No, I didn't read an article.

Lucas yelled that at me during an episode. But anyways, that is the reason man overtook lizards is the ability to take different things, put them in categories. Predator versus prey. Poisonous flower versus unpoisonous flower. It is our ability to reason and categorize that has caused us to evolve. I understand. We're on the galaxy brain of evolution with this Kit Kat lasagna debate.

Kit Kat and lasagna are so different. They're from two different planets. Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Kit Kats are from two different planets women are from venus men are from mars kit kats are from neptune lasagnas from mercury okay yo what was that book about was that steve harvey no that's another book i think that's like the 90 day rule or something still the same kind of like yeah women and men are different by my book to try and yeah try to find out why you're still single that's it yeah i think you feel bad about yourself by my book yeah yeah the reason why you're single is because you don't understand women the reason why you're still single. That's it. Yeah, I think that's pretty much it. You feel bad about yourself by my book.

Yeah, yeah. The reason why you're single is because you don't understand women. The reason why you're single is because you don't wait 90 days before you have intimate relations. Oh, is that Steve Harvey's whole thing? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I don't know. His mustache is so intense. What I'm trying to say is they're so drastically different.

Just because they're layered foods does not mean that they need to be categorized together. Why do you have to say that? I mean, Nicole, that is the whole essence of our podcast. A hot dog is a sandwich. Some could argue that hot dogs don't need to be categorized. Or is it? But I'm saying this like need to categorize is something that is as old as time and something that philosophers have tried. Like, what is knowledge, Nicole?

Like, are we just staring at reflections of the shadows against the cave or are we truly outside the cave will you take the red pill plato sorry i was thinking about planets again i'm sorry if you're thinking about planets and you wouldn't be thinking about pluto that is pluto is so disrespected. Kit Kat is not a lasagna. Pluto is not a planet. Pluto is a planet. Plato is a philosopher. And Plato. Could you make a lasagna out of Plato?

Yeah, if you're like playing. No, I'm saying like edible. Like if you, would you accept that as a lasagna? If you rolled out like Plato? If my niece was like, hey, Nicole, I made a lasagna and it's out of Plato. I'd be like, om nom nom nom. Is that what you're asking me? How recently have you eaten Play-Doh?

Like actually? Yeah, yeah. Or pretend to eat? No, like actually eaten. I don't eat Play-Doh. You've never eaten Play-Doh? No, I... But you know that's a thing, right?

That people... It's edible, yeah. Yeah. Like pica. Yeah, well, no, I mean, not even pica. I mean, if you think about Play-Doh, it's literally a good dough you're supposed to play with. So it is just made from dough ingredients.

I've eaten Play-Doh pretty recently. When? It's not bad. I don't know, like a year ago. Why? I want to try it. What color was it? Red.

It tastes like red? It kind of tastes like red. No, it's like really kind of salty, but it didn't taste dissimilar from if you made like a salty kind of cinnamon roll dough. Like it has that pliability to it. Yeah. Okay. And so I was like, yo, I get this. No.

But if a kid was like, hey, I madeagna and the and the yellow sheet is the cheese and the white is the pasta and the red is the is the sauce and then i layered it on top and rolled it out and i'm like here you go of course i would pretend to eat it where'd you find this kid i am surrounded by children. Put them back. Mine. No, don't be silly. I think I came up with- A plate of lasagna is a toy. I came up with an answer. Final answer. Kit Kats are not a lasagna, and they're not a Napoleon or Millefeuille.

Kit Kats and all other layered foods are merely parfaits. I am now a radical parfait inclusionist. I have switched my allegiance from the Antifa lasagna and i am now like a uh black block parfaitist what's a black block i don't know i'm repeating terms that i've read on the parts of twitter where i'm just like oh i shouldn't be here i should be i should be doing my work but i can't stop scrolling because the algorithm's designed to make me keep scrolling but no hold on think about this parfait right The only thing we can say about a parfait, because it doesn't have to be fruit,

it doesn't have to be yogurt, it can be anything, right? If you went to say like, you know, I don't know, Pinkberry, and they were like, our parfait doesn't have any fruit in it. It's got like granola and some chocolate chips. You'd be like, it's still a parfait. Shout out Pinkberry.

Parfait is one of the best yogurt confections out there. But I think a parfait can just be anything layered. So I would argue that a lasagna is a parfait and that a Kit Kat is simply a parfait, especially when you melt it. It can't be temperature dependent. A parfait is not even in the same grouping? Not yet, not yet, because the people haven't been woken up.

Sheeple, listen to me, Sheeple. because the people haven't been woken up. I would, sheeple, listen to me sheeple, parfaits are more like lasagnas than they are like Kit Kats. Do you understand? Yeah.

Okay, a lasagna is a parfait. We'll say that. A lasagna is a parfait. Because it's, what makes a lasagna a parfait? Layered, liquidy. But liquidy,

that's temperature dependent. What do you mean? It's how it's served. No, I'm saying when the cheese, Nicole, when the cheese solidifies in the fridge, because you've cut a slice of hot lasagna versus a slice of cold lasagna, right? Yeah, you gotta let it rest a little bit. Yeah, let it rest. I mean, you take a lasagna straight out the fridge and you slice that, that is solid.

There ain't no liquid there. That liquid is seized up. Are you eating it that way though? I might be eating it that way. Why? Does that, if I throw a Kit Kat in the microwave, does that, that's fair. Okay, hold on. Who eats cold lasagna?

I am now rethinking my position on the radical left lasagna inclusionism and my black block parfait inclusionism. I think I'm just a classic like Trotskyist triflist. I believe all these foods are trifles. Oh my God. No way. Oh my God. Are you kidding me? You are just talking about layered foods Like it's your job

Well that is my job No no no A trifle and a parfait Are the same thing I agree with you on that Trifle and parfait Same exact thing Just different delivery mechanisms

Different stuff in between Whatever Fine Well Lasagna And Where does lasagna come in? Where does Kit Kat come in?

You can make a Kit Kat parfait You can make a Kit Kat trifle You cannot Make a Kit Kat lasagna You can't actually You can make a Kit Kat lasagna You take the Kit Kat come in. You can make a Kit Kat parfait. You can make a Kit Kat trifle. You cannot make a Kit Kat lasagna. You can actually, you can make a Kit Kat lasagna. You take the Kit Kat and you put it on the bottom. In the middle, you put chocolate sauce and then you put marshmallows. And then you put another layer of Kit Kats and then you put M&Ms and then wild card chocolate covered gummy bears, which are one of my favorite confections of all time. And then you put strawberry sauce and then you put some crumbled up Pop-Tarts

and then you eat it. I'm starting to rethink my position on my radical Antifa lasagna inclusionism and also my black block parfaitism and also my Trotskyist triflism. And I think now I'm just a Maoist smoresist. And I believe that all these foods are technically... No, I see your point about

certain things being unable to be categorized i don't think in certain things having a need because what's yeah i suppose what is the need to categorize like my one of my arguments we're never going to fully flesh out the hot dog thing but i like to drop in little nuggets one of my arguments for the hot dog you know possibly being a sandwich you know if it is is if you had hot dog on the menu like if you went to a cheesecake factory i'm not saying a cheesecake factory but a restaurant with a menu that's large enough you know like a diner like if you go down to like you know the noho diner or something they got that big old menu and if you see like omelets pancakes sandwiches on the menu to have a hot dog underneath the sandwich blanket would totally make sense

because you're eating with your hands spread okay so that has a reason to be categorized i suppose kit kat has no reason to be categorized as a lasagna whatsoever or we have no reason to categorize all these layered foods because that is not what makes them similarly useful to us and we don't need to categorize them to evolve as humans but then how do we maintain dominance over the apes we don't you know all these movies where there's like small little animals kind of like swarming people because everyone talks about the spiders could rise up because they they outnumber us like eight million to one movie with the spider eight-legged big spider no no the big spider harry potter lord of the rings both had big richards had a gun oh starship troopers is that a big well yeah they were they were they were

what were they called right now big spider yeah yeah Yeah, they were like arachnids. They were bugs. Starship Troopers is actually a really incredible metaphor for just like American style fascism. It's a really fun, really fun movie. Not fun. It's a great movie. Casper Van Dien, come on the podcast. So what have we decided?

So there are all these like very silly kind of philosophical leaning questions out there. Like, you know, is Pop-Tart a ravioli that we like entertain pretty fully? I feel like we fully fleshed that one out in its entirety and decided maybe. But with regards to Kit Kat being lasagna, there's no like need to try and categorize it as such. I agree. And I think that it goes even further away from the Pop-Tart ravioli paradigm. So at first I was willing to entertain with my radical Antifa left-leaning lasagna inclusionism. But now I don't think so.

You kind of opened up my eyes with the fact that there's no reason that it has to be categorized like that. And it's certainly not a Napoleon. It's not a trifle. It's not a parfait. It's not a cake because it's unleavened or at least minorly leavened. Cakes ain't crispy. I don't know. I think it's not a lasagna. Kit Kat is not a lasagna.'s unleavened, or at least minorly leavened. Cakes ain't crispy. I don't know. I think it's not a lasagna.

Kit Kat is not a lasagna, but what is baked ziti? Tony Soprano's kid's favorite dish? Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles! Opinions are like casseroles. Can you do a beatbox version of that?

Nope. Psych. No, that is one of my biggest fears is getting caught in a beatbox battle. Because I listen to so many beatboxing videos. Shout out to Swiss Beatbox on YouTube. I'd say the best YouTube channel out there. In fact, all of their YouTube channels pale in comparison to Swiss Beatbox. Such amazing content from all around the world.

But I will just make little beatbox noises because I'm listening to so many videos. So I'm just walking around the office going like, just sounding like I'm farting from my mouth and anyways what i'm saying is first up we got ashley mg2487 cheap garbage foil wrapped easter eggs are my favorite chocolate that's cool i think okay nicole how do you feel our jewish version of this is i mean i grew up eating easter candy too is guilt guilt is cheap garbage foil wrapped chocolate coins i love guilt you love you i i hadn't had gelt in like a couple of years. And then I went back to my grandma.

I was like, maybe when I was 25, a couple of years ago. And she like had some Hanukkah gelt that I'm sure was from like 2004. Oh yeah, was it like bloomed and white? It was bloomed. Yeah, yeah. Has that like kind of fuzzy look on the outside of it. And I tasted it and I was like, this doesn't even taste like chocolate. It's just kind of chewy.

It's the worst chocolate. It's the worst wrapping, but it's so familiar of chewy it's the worst chocolate it's the worst wrapping but it's so familiar to me that i love it yeah i just realized that that wrapping doesn't exactly hold like lend itself to freshness oh absolutely not the opposite actually there's just constant airflow into your chocolate the chocolate bends yeah yeah yeah there's so much stuff added to it um that said so much of what we love especially from candy is just like nostalgia i agree you know and so yeah I'm with you. I love garbage chocolate.

All right. Hey, underscore, it's underscore me, underscore Isaac. I used to hate al dente pasta, but now I prefer it over normal pasta because it isn't flaccid. Flaxid. You said flaccid. The word is pronounced flaxid. Okay. Because it isn't flaxid.

Thank you. I love my pasta very al dente. Sometimes it's so al dente that like it honestly has a crunch to it. And a lot of the times when I make pasta for like my mom or my dad, they're like, why is this pasta crunchy? And I'm like, because it needs to be. But I love my pasta al dente almost to the point where it's like undercooked. And I think I just like texture.

I like texture too. But to me, pasta, I almost just want the squishy. This I think is where our palates diverge the most is that I love overcooked pasta. Not to the point where it's like mush, but I just hate like when it's so al dente that, you know, when you pinch, this is how I learned to cook pasta from Rachel Ray. When you pinch the noodle in half, if you can still see solid opaque white, and it's not done, I absolutely hate that. I hate when you get that noodle in half. If you can still see solid opaque white. Yeah. It's not done. I absolutely hate that. I hate when you get that little bit of raw flour taste.

And what's really funny, one, a lot of people use the term al dente just to mean like undercooked pasta. But like you cannot cook fresh pasta to true al dente. No. This is the thing that I've heard Italian cooks say that I truly believe. And so there's a lot of people who are like cooking fresh pasta for like 30 seconds, then pulling it and then they're like, it's al d and it's like no it was fresh it's supposed to be like supple and tender yeah i'm talking about box pasta yeah yeah have you have you been to um

felix not yet i've been funky's restaurant no this is like one of la's fanciest restaurants and everyone was so hyped it came out i haven't been i've never had the process so i can't say but it famously got left off the la times 101 best restaurants list by jonathan gold and he said something like the chef and i clearly have a fundamental difference in how we believe pasta should be cooked and he always shades the under and i was like yes yes the best food critic in the world r.i.p jonathan gold an absolute legend but the best food critic in the world agrees that some pasta can be undercooked to me that's like a thing people are afraid to say

is that this pasta is undercooked because someone's just gonna go oh no it's al dente that's how Italians like it we should go to Felix yeah mushy pasta

for the win at carterbh underscore Arby's sliders are elite level fast food did my dad write this? does my dad have a an Instagram I don't know about?

we have so much family history with arby's my mom and dad had their first date at arby's and that relationship ended real well so so arby's i agree arby's is the most and also shout out to friend of the show bill oakley who's an arby's fan even though the simpsons had a uh there was a famous joke that was like i'm so hungry i could eat at Arby's. Josh, the fact that your parents had their first date at Arby's means that you're here. So it's actually a blessing. I'm so glad you're here.

A lot of lawyers got paid for a divorce settlement. And, you know, I ended up on this podcast. I'm glad that your parents went on their first date to Arby's because I would have never met you. That is true. Yeah, shout out to Arby's for that. Also, Arby's is just delicious. Beef and cheddar, give me that. Arby's is my dad's favorite restaurant and sometimes whenever he goes to Kaiser Permanente because

his pancreas is bothering him, he makes me get an Arby's sandwich and take it to the Kaiser Permanente. You've had to make Arby's deliveries to hospitals? More than once. So what we're saying is Arby's sponsored the podcast. Please, my dad's pan. Brought to you

by beef. Brought to you by Nicole's dad's pancreas. Oh, God. Okay, uh, Lynn underscore 369 underscore GC. Japanese mayo is the best mayo. It's good mayo. My favorite mayo is the one you make by

hand. Yeah, my favorite mayo is the one you make by hand yeah my favorite mayo is the one you make trevor buy from ralph's because it's best foods best foods we have so much mayonnaise in the free in the fridge right now yeah i and now that i'm counting my macros you realize how much macros is in mayonnaise oh my god it's just a macro factory to be clear i'm only doing this counting macros thing for like a month because i went so far off the deep end one weekend of just only eating like literally hot dogs, pizza, lasagna, an Italian beef sandwich, and ice cream. Like a whole course of homemade ice cream. So we're just trying to kind of clean out the pipes a little bit metaphorically and physically. But Japanese mayo became really, really popular from a bunch of like kind of hipsterish restaurants in LA.

It's called Kewpie or Kewpie. I say Kewpie. I feel feel I've heard like people I trust say cupi but I don't know but anyways it's the the Japanese mayo brand with the baby on it and I believe it has more egg yolks and msg in it and so everyone is all up on cupi mayo I just don't like the taste of it as much as something like best foods I've heard dukes is the best but we have never had it he loves dukes bill oakley yeah he gets like du's shipped to him. Duke's and Coleman's mustard, which is delicious, but I've never had Duke's. That said, best foods is like just fine for me.

Yeah, it's a good base. Yeah. Yeah. Just mayo, vegan mayo is actually really delicious as well. I don't do vegan mayo. You don't taste the difference. I don't, I just don't do it. Okay.

All right, at whiteguy651, casseroles are the best way to get all your daily food groups in one meal yup fruit agreed fruit tomatoes oh did you know that tomatoes are a fruit don't even start with me young man don't even start no i i'm a big fan of just the one pot uh dish like literally for lunch i've just been making eating this giant stew i prefer stews to casseroles um because i just like the wet i'm just i was raised on stews yeah yeah uh give me that wet wet a horesh there's some horesh in this house nicole did you know that my mom is gonna be so proud of you Every time Josh speaks Farsi

I like record it and I send it to my mom And my mom just says good boy Merci Shala, merci Um let's see Don't call me Caitlin says My sister mixes ranch and sriracha And calls it sir ranch a lot Oh my god she's so clever

No that's pretty funny and sounds good. Nicole just started mocking it, so I jumped in because I'm a sheep. You know, bullies, they're not leaders, they're followers. And I jumped in and I'm sorry. That is a very funny joke. And I like Sriracha and Ranch. Thank you. At JoeSpencer24, internet chefs should talk about food safety more.

They're the ones teaching people. Skip. Okay, let's talk about food safety more. They're the ones teaching people. Skip. Okay, let's talk about food safety. I think most people are looking at the wrong things when it comes to food safety, right? So people are like, oh my God, you're chopping vegetables on that raw meat board. And it's like, I'm putting the vegetables in a stew

that I'm cooking for four hours. It doesn't matter. But then I understand why those rules exist in restaurants that you have to keep everything separate because, you know, those are institutions that have government oversight and all that. But like in your own home, it's just like best practices. So there are still people who are say, you know, rinsing their chicken, their raw chicken in the sink, which is incredibly dangerous. The raw chicken rinsing in the sink problem got so bad in England that they had to stop selling raw chickens for like months at a

time. They would only sell whole raw chickens in a bag that you like cooked in the bag. Oh my gosh. And they put out a whole, their health services put out a whole PSA that was like, don't wash your chicken because when you do, droplets hit the raw chicken and then just spray all over your kitchen and people like well then just wipe it down but the problem is people don't do that you're not sanitizing every single moment i i wash i wash my poultry and i wash my beef but i always always always clorox the crap out of it yeah after i'm not the chicken like my surrounding area

my mom taught me to clorox things wait why, why do you wash chicken? I just do. That's bad. I'm sorry. I think, yeah, food safety is, ah, that's a whole mixed bag. Yeah. I just like to wash my chicken because sometimes there's blood and I know that blood is a part of an animal and I just don't want it in my food and I just wash it. And then I spray my whole area down with Clorox because I am healthy. This is why we can't talk about food safety because no one agrees. Because we have different definitions of food safety. Like government agencies have just come out and said like don't wash your chicken. Any harmful bacteria gets cooked out of it. Whatever.

I talked to the head of National Resources Defense Council about food safety and expiration dates. Here's another thing. Expiration dates on your food absolutely mean nothing. Okay. Okay. Okay. I said that one time and the food was expired a day after and i and i ate it it was a it was a cookie and i ate it and

there was mold in the cookie yeah but the day before it probably had mold too yeah right it depends on the story on the storage conditions on where you put it in your cabinet if you put it in a warm damp space it's gonna grow mold if you keep it in a cold you know dry space it's not gonna grow mold it wasn't but the dates mean nothing yeah no i i agreed i agreed up until that point where i almost poisoned one of my photographers yeah well that's not good yeah just like you know smell things but also most visible mold growing on things isn't what gives you the real bad foodborne illnesses which we're talking about like e coli we're talking about listeria we're talking about salmonella if If you eat something that's moldy, like you'll kind of just throw it up and be fine.

That is what I learned from interviewing an expert on it because apparently I used to be a journalist and used to write stuff about that. The one thing she said was like, never buy bagged salad mix. Because bagged salad mix, once you seal up a package like that, the bacteria can just multiply. Yeah. And especially if you're eating raw greens like that like i mean so many of the e coli outbreaks some are the soup plantation uh near my hometown a person just died from e coli eating spinach there um so many different you know bagged dull lettuces have been linked to listeria outbreaks so scary so yeah like most foodborne illnesses will come from processing like that or cantaloupes killed like 50 people a couple years ago uh pre-packaged

ice creams were another big one. Bluebell had that huge outbreak. Oh yeah, well that's because someone was licking them. What? Someone was licking the Bluebell. I don't think that was the outbreak cause. Someone was licking the Bluebell. I know the video you're talking about. There's a person licking the Bluebell. Did they go to jail? They need to go to jail. I think they did get charged or something. They need jail time.

Austin J. Baldy. Regular milk tastes gross unless with cereal or has some sort of flavor additive. Well, you're talking to a girl that has lactose intolerance, but boy, oh boy, will she drink a gallon of lactate? No problem. Does lactate taste different to you? It's sweeter. It is sweeter, right? It's sweeter. I think it's- Do they add sugar to it? Just make it more better tasting? I used to think, I don't know, in my head, I was like, oh, they crush up the enzymes that makes it more sweeter, which is totally false. But like, I love the way regular milk tastes a lot.

I do too. I like milk flavored milk. Yeah. That's my favorite milk. I hardly, I like only keep milk. I'll buy like a quart of milk every week in my apartment and just like put in my coffee or use in cooking. Um, but the other day I was just like, I'm thirsty and I don't want normal water. So I just poured myself an ice cold glass of milk probably for the first time in about a year. I just like chugged eight ounces of ice cold whole milk. And I was like, ah. Yeah. Sometimes you need to do that.

And I know it's like a like a vegan thing and like a vegetarian thing. But like I will one day I feel like I'll be, you know, like grown up enough to not drink milk. But I love milk and I can't help it. I have nothing respect for vegans and vegan antagonism kind of pisses me off when people are like eat some bacon then you'll be less unhappy you know that whole thing is super annoying nothing but respect for vegans but one of their arguments often about not drinking milk is that you know what other animal in the animal kingdom drinks another animal's milk to feed fully grown adults that's crazy why would we do that i'm like yo there's a lot of things humans do that other animals don't,

like driving cars and writing poetry and stuff. So it's kind of hard to – Write in poetry? I don't know. I ain't never seen no deer drive a Hyundai and write a sonnet. So, you know, I think we can make some exceptions critically for humans and what their development has been. That's really funny.

And I don't know if drinking milk is good or bad for people. It seems like the government. I feel like it's bad. It seems generally not great, right? But it's a treat. It's a treat. What a nice treat. A treat I have every day.

And also the Got Milk campaign is the single greatest advertising campaign in history. The white mustaches. The white mustaches. There was one of white mustachioed Michael Jordan on my elementary school library wall. There you go. I'll always remember that. At Chrissy underscore 401, ranch is the only wing sauce. Ranch ain't the only wing sauce.

It's certainly the best wing sauce. It's one of the best. It is. Well, you're a blue cheese gal, right? Oh, hundo piece. You need to, okay, I already said this one time, but I'm going to say it again. You need to date someone who likes the opposite sauce on you with your wings. So whenever you get ranch and they get blue cheese and they give you two two of each like one of each like you just pass it over so you have two of your favorite and they

have two of their favorite it's so funny how i i diversify all of my sauce dipping so much if i get fries i'll have like ranch sriracha mayo ketchup a barbecue sauce a honey mustard if i have those available to me i will just dip in all of them. All of them? Repeatedly. Yeah, no, at the same time. Oh, okay, okay. I love that diversity. But hot wings are a thing where I have, you know, I've tried dipping them in honey mustard

and anything like that. Yeah. Nothing comes anywhere near as close as ranch and blue cheese. Yeah. I am team ranch officially. I prefer the herbs and the freshness to the bites of the blue cheese. However, I also believe that blue cheese is technically ranch.

We need to debate this. We need to debate this. We need to have a debate. The debate is forthcoming. Winter is coming. Ring the debate bell. Winter is coming, right? What?

I never saw Game of Thrones. I got into season three and then I was just like, I'm bored of this scenario. There was lots of burbage. Burbage? There were naked burbs. Burbage? Burbs. What are burbs? Burbs. Boobs?

Burbs. And on that note, thank you. What note? Burbs? Thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We've got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions Are Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or NHRDZadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasseroles.

And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pics of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. We will see you next time. Bye! Nicole, bye!

Bye, Josh! I'll see you later at the Arby's.