A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Pop Tarts vs. Toaster Strudel

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

Today, Josh and Nicole discuss the better breakfast toaster pastry! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. You know what, Nicole? I could really go for a Pop-Tart right now. I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about that. Morris Hendizada invented the Toaster Strudel? You've never seen Mean Girls, have you? This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. I'm your host, Aaron Samuels. And I'm your host, Gretchen Wieners. And Mean Girls really is one of the formative early 2000s comedies. Like, I'm going to be showing my grandchildren that the same way that my dad showed me Blazing Saddles. Hmm, that's so fetch. That is fetch.

Speaking of fetch, Nicole, did you know Toaster Strudel once did a limited time offering of Mean Girls themed Toaster Strudel? Oh, that makes sense. And they featured the word fetch on the packaging. So she was right to have not stopped trying to make fetch happen. It happened. And it did literally happen thanks to Pillsbury and Toaster Strudel. make fetch happen it happened and it did literally happen thanks to pills bearing toaster strudel uh but today nicole we're not discussing the merits of uh tina fey and oh what's that guy tim meadows's

role in mean girls he's the principal he's a principal tim meadows crushes that freaking role dude no we are discussing pop tarts versus toaster strudel now these are the pre-eminent not the eminent not the post-eminent, the preeminent toaster pastries in the game right now. On the left side, we got Kellogg's Pop-Tarts versus Pillsbury Toaster Strudel on the right.

Pop-Tarts are the original. Toaster Strudel are the usurper, literally only created in response to Kellogg's massive success with Pop-Tarts, which I believe were invented in 1964 and then went nationwide in 1965. That's awesome.

After, of course, General Electric brought the home toaster to Americans in 1909, they were begging, Nicole, begging for a pastry to be fed into their gaping maws. Oh, no. To feed. Oh, strike one for toaster strudel, Nicole. A little premature. Sometimes, sometimes it just happens. Sometimes it just happens. And all you can do is apologize

and lick it off. I'm so sorry. What are your initial thoughts in this battle? Well, I've always been Team Toaster Strudel. I know you have. Because Pop-Tarts were not allowed in my house. Were Toaster Strudel? Yeah. I don't know why. What was the moral backlash?

Probably because this one had frosting in it, and I don't think my mom knew that these had frosting in it until it was too late and she saw me putting frosting on it. And then the precedent was already established. Yeah, and she's like, oh, I guess the Toaster Strudels are good. That's funny. So I grew up with whatever was on sale. It's really funny because I don't think when grocery shopping

we really mapped out like value versus budget, but my dad was from the era that if anything was on sale you just bought it even if you didn't need it yeah and so i had sort of an equal amount of pop tarts or a generic brand toaster pastry that we got from like are you gonna get me like a towel or something oh my i'm sorry it just felt really natural you could i saw the glint in your eye and i was like what's she about to say right now i'm so sorry no listen if you get your frosting on somebody it is your job to help them clean up i love this podcast all right so should we should we dig in Like really discuss culinarily what's happening. Just so you know, the Pop-Tarts,

I put in the oven toaster for like two minutes and then the toaster shirt I put in for like two and a half minutes. Well, so that's like, to me, a strike off of toaster shirt a lot. Rub the pat because it takes longer and this is obviously a breakfast of convenience. Oh my God, oh my God, okay.

Just because you can have it raw or like unhot does not make it better okay the toast it's one aspect it's one aspect the toast is a hot thick pocket of love and i love it so much these are like uh the the pop toast like dinky they're like little dinky like like do you hear this dinky listen did you say hot pocket of love that okay a toaster strudel is just a hot pocket i mean i guess it's very similar and also toaster strudels did make something called toaster scrambles that's the that's actually a point for it that's the point for it no toaster scrambles are not included in the toaster strudel we cannot they they are. I fully believe they're not. Are we eating these? Yeah, I'm eating a Pop-Tart.

Looks like we got the strawberry frosted Pop-Tart. Not my favorite Pop-Tart. I'm more of a Bounce Sugar Cinnamon girl. You know how human memory is very unreliable? Okay. I think that all of human thoughts and experiences, likes and dislikes are incredibly unreliable okay memento right no no for real for real for real i don't think we can divorce it from from positive memories we've had from marketing campaigns right from how we want to be perceived

in the world if you were to take an uncontacted tribe sentinel island there's a tribe on sentinel island never been contacted people try and contact missionary tried to go there boom arrow right to the face they're like get the fudge out i actually really like that respect the sentinel these people come on the podcast um if you were to take both of these products to an uncontacted tribe i don't think they'd be like oh ooh, Pop-Tarts are better. I don't think anybody in the Red Mine would. Have you even tried, try the Toaster Strudel.

Let me eat a Toaster Strudel. Are you going to design yours? Can you, can you, can you Frost Mine for me? Sure. Or do you need somebody to be assigned to Frost your, that's a reference to Mean Girls.

Maggie gets it. I don't get it. I really do enjoy the movie. What do you want me to draw on here? Just don't draw, what are you going to do? What do you want me to draw? I would always try and draw, but I can never rip the packaging good What do you want me to draw on here? Just don't draw. What do you want me to draw? I would always try and draw, but I can never rip the packaging good enough.

I want you to draw boobs. Boobs? Yeah. Okay, I'm going to do it. I'm trying to put myself back in the mindset of being a child when I would have like eaten these every single day. Are we thinking D-cup? What? Are we thinking D-cup?

I'm inclusive. I know, just whatever like is like a natural. I think beauty is a natural. I think natural beauty is beautiful. Okay beautiful there's multiple ways this can go just squirt the frosting on my damn toaster strudel it can either look like eyeballs or it can look like a weird apple really perfectly shaped and what angle it's like somebody

is upside down on a roller coaster and this is how they would be existing wait shut up I'll draw on yours I'll draw on yours what do you want me to draw and this is how they would be existing. Wait! Shut up! Okay, I'll draw on yours. I'll draw on yours. What do you want me to draw? Whatever you want.

Well, so that's a point for Toaster Strudel. Yeah, creative expression. Creative expression. Okay, now it's like Harry Potter glasses. Okay, I am drawing a hot dog with two eggs. Josh, me and you are actually five years old. But see, that's what Toast to Strudel does. It makes you feel like a child, and that's

kind of special. Like, Pop-Tarts is like on the go, whatever. They're sugary, they're syrupy, whatever. But see, the thing about Toast to Strudel, you get to play with your food a little bit, and it's fun. In the time in which I have wasted drawing on my Toast to Straster shirt, Nicole, I could

have had three different rental properties by now. Did you say wasted? I could have been getting mailbox money. Okay, so this is what Josh drew. I could have been out there, you know, grind setting, setting up my LLCs. Okay, so Josh apparently made a rocket ship with two eggs. Is that what you said? Yeah. Okay.

I love eggs. I love rocket ships. What did I make? I don't know. I love eggs. I love rocket ships. What did I make? Um, I don't know. I just, anytime I see an abstract drawing, I just see my parents fighting. Can you flip over?

And I don't know. I don't know. I don't, I'm eating it. Okay. A violent red color scheme. Okay. Like this isn't violent like like the like the pop

tart isn't violent inside no i believe well they're the same amount of violence but there's so much more goo to toaster strudel right objectively objectively toaster strudel is a more delicious product oh my god it's so delicious. Like, there is no comparison. However, when I talk about humans not intrinsically knowing how to feel or what to think, like, I was talking about, I was talking to Lily earlier about drinking, like,

I had a $30 cup of coffee once, right? Yeah. I remember that story. And I drank it. And I was like... Because it was Yemeni coffee, right? Yeah, it was Yemeni coffee. It was, um, Mokhtar Al-Kh Mokhtar Alkanshali I believe his name is um fantastic book called the monk of mocha about his work but he did a collab with blue bottle where he had these beans and it wasn't 30 bucks but I think it was like 18 to 20 or something like that but I remember drinking it and I'd never distrusted my own palate more because I was was like, oh my God, I do taste the cherry blossom notes, Nicole.

I taste young cocoa. I don't taste old cocoa or middle-aged cocoa. I taste young cocoa in these coffee beans. I don't know, but I drank it and I felt it. You know what I mean? Where I'm going with all this is like, Pop-Tarts has had such a better, more successful, more interesting marketing campaign.

They've done so many more fun collabs. What's so interesting about it? Do you remember the Pop-Tart commercials? The, uh... No. Crazy good. You don't remember? If I said, crazy good, that means nothing to you.

Is that with the little, like, blue stripe one? Was that the purple stripe? No, but the blue stripe one, I'm so glad you asked. Wildberry. I like that one. And then they did a Tobey Maguire Spider-Man collab called Spideyberry. And so like I have all of these memories locked up in Pop-Tarts, which are objectively, it is a worse product. It's a crusty product.

The edges on a Pop-Tart are like damn near inedible. Yeah. You know what I mean? Also, look at the way that it's iced. It's iced haphazardly. Haphazard icing. Haphazard icing? And the thing with the icing is like, it's hard and crusty. It all kind of has to be because it's shoved in a toaster.

Sure. And you were shaving time off for convenience. I often talk about certain brands like this of being the victim of coming first. I get that. There's a brand called Arctic Zero Ice Cream that I think about a lot. Is that the predecessor to Dippin' Dots?

To Halo Top. Oh. Arctic Zero said, we're going to be the tab of ice cream. Tab was the first ever diet soda. Sure, yeah. Arctic Zero, and there may have been predecessor brands to it, but this is the first one that I saw. Had like 170 calories in

a pint, 20 grams of protein. I was an athlete at the time. I cared about that stuff more than I do now. But I was like, I'm gonna eat this. It tasted terrible. Sure. But it tasted like just good enough to keep eating. Halo Top comes out like- Changes the game. Six, seven years later. And they basically got to like use all the science that Arctic Zero had figured out. Use all the anecdotal market research, what people want and don't want. And Halo Top then blew them out of the water. And then Halo Top was now in a race against all of the major ice cream brands who are now coming out with their own like 270 calorie pints. Okay.

Pop-Tarts came 20 years before Toaster Strudel. Okay. That doesn't mean it's better. Just because. Okay. Hear me out. No, you're right. I think it doesn't mean it's better. Okay, hear me out. No, you're right. I think it's worse because it came before.

Here's a thought exercise. Just because it came before doesn't mean it's better. No. Yeah, so it shouldn't be the best. I'm almost saying the opposite. Okay. I'm saying that Toaster Strudel had 20 years to figure out a product that would beat Pop-Tart. Good, and they did.

But they did not. But sales, sales-wise. Well, who cares? Well, I'm not talking about sales-wise. I'm talking about breakfast on... breakfast enjoyable-wise.

I agree with that, and I agree this is a more enjoyable product. Yeah. If I were to go to a store right now and buy either Toast the Strudel or Pop-Tart,

I would buy Pop-Tart because of all of the memories... I have for myself, yeah. Okay. I would get the brown sugar cinnamon or the s'mores ones because the s'mores ones, I mean, that was where they really jumped the shark

and they're like, there ain't nothing breakfast about this anymore, baby. This is for a dessert or this is for like an intoxicated college kid coming home and they're slamming Pop-Tarts. You know what I mean? So basically Toaster Strudel made the gamble of like, hey, we are 20 years behind.

We need to make a product that is so much better than Pop-Tart that people won't even care that they've had 20 years of market capital, of brand recognition, of campaigns on the market. And they did a pretty damn good job, but they're still losing the war. You know what I mean?

I don't think they're trying. I think they understand there's a legacy connected to Pop-Tarts. And it's really hard to be able to nudge out a legacy like that. I agree. So I don't think it's for nothing. I think it's a good product. But Pop-Tarts, okay, well, again, do you like tarts more or do you like strudel more? Oh, yeah, we got to get into the etymology.

Yeah, yeah. So like the actual dough, it's like a tart dough. of the etymology yeah yeah it's like the actual dough it's like it's like a tart dough it's like a short crust pastry like very snappy very like dough like not not dough like very pie like and then your toaster strudel is a little bit doughy a little bit crispy a little bit lighter so you know a lot of products have origin stories where it's like ruth wakefield was a home baker and she tried to make a chocolate cookie but then she went oopsies and spilled chocolate chips. And they have these very homey origin stories. Both of these are just like corporate suits.

And that's fine. No, it's fine. But I'm saying there's like- We live in a society. But they were literally just like, we're trying to game the market right here. And Pop-Tart, so the original name wasn't Pop-Tart.

It was just called like Filled S filled scones so it's initially referred to as a scone these come out in 1964 right or hit market in like 1965 66 nationwide andy warhol no this is real check this out andy warhol right campbell soup andy warhol 1962 I think the pop art movement was in full swing they literally called it pop tarts to freaking get on the upswing of pop art and that was already a genre that was like celebrating brands in this weird way

you're not even celebrating them but you know just sort of understanding that these are things that have like massive recognition over us. Toaster Strudel comes out in 1985. Strudel comes out in 1985 strudel german when does the berlin wall fall 1989 it is 89 81 89 91 89 91 berlin wall when when did please give me 10 points let me ask pillsbury pillsbury americans how trustworthy okay we're jews i am you are maggie totally how trustworthy do we find germans i'm not saying it's fair no no hear me i am dead serious though i am dead ass serious when

marketing things to like a mass to like a mass population in america especially in 1985 was strudel the white way the right way to go? Let me tell you. Germany, they do good things. They have great techno music. I have German friends. Like, no, no. But I'm saying, like, at the time... And I know West Germany at the time was...

Let me tell you. David Hasselhoff. 99 Luftballons. Great song. Nena. It's a really heavy song, by the way. For people who don't know, 99 Luftballons. Very, very heavy song. It's a really heavy song by the way for people don't know uh 99 luftballons uh-huh very

very heavy song it's a great song uh germans nuclear war eviscerating uh population germans made the mercedes-benz great car uh i don't know german germans and auto manufacturers they make great cars what those cars are used for is on you know the history could still drive a mercedes no i agree like listen germans have made incredible, one of them being strudel. I agree. So strudel, it's either German or Austrian, depending. And it's also, again, these countries didn't, like, exist. Yeah.

Like, Prussia used to be a country. Which is so crazy to me. It was the Austro-Hungarian Empire. What's crazy is countries that you think you know now are not going to exist in the future, right? Really? Macedonia. Changed its? Really? Macedonia. Changed its name to North Macedonia.

You believe that? I can't believe that. Greece. South Sudan used to be part of Sudan. Macedonia was a part of Greece. Yeah, there was some weird thing with Greece where Greece was like, Macedonia is just a part of Greece.

So you had to rename yourself as North Macedonia and they were like, it's weird, but okay. Oh. But anyways, but anyways the like recognition between a tart and a strudel what do you think more americans know of what do they know more of like what do they like which is a better marketed pastry because this is not strudel right and this is not a tart tart is roughly the french word for pie this is like a short crust. A hand pie dough.

Yeah, I guess. Kind of. But like if you were to ever order like a pie, like a hand pie from a restaurant and it came And it came like this? It came like this, you'd be like, that's a Pop-Tart. No, no, no. I think it'd be fun if somebody made an artisanal Pop-Tart and like said like, oh, there's like. Oh, and they have.

There's like, I don't know. Like, what's that one? What's that one bottle that had the apple inside of it, but it was liquor? It was a bottle of Armagnac, right? No, no. It had a cooler name than that. Come on, Josh. Go in that big brain of yours.

I don't know. Come on, dude. Come on. Yeah, I can. Calvados. Calvados. Calvados. Calvados.

Calvados. Like, imagine somebody made, like, a Calvados apple pear cinnamon Pop-Tart. It's classy, right? A bit of green cardamom in there or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I would eat that, and I'd Pop-Tart. It's classy, right? Is there a green cardamom in there or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would eat that and I'd be impressed by it, but if somebody gave me a toaster strudel where I had to do my own piping, I think I would

be equally impressed. I've seen bakeries make versions of both of these as an homage to it, especially the homemade Pop-Tarts and whatnot. Do you think if this was named a toaster tart or something? Toaster tartlet? Toaster tartlet.

I would eat it. Right? More. Same. I think strudel was wrong. I don't think it is recognizable enough to an American audience. And unfairly, maybe German. That's not true.

German, Germany, Germans came here and they were the largest population. To be clear, I'm full blood German. Half Jew German and half. You can't be full blood be clear, I'm full-blood German. Half Jew-German and half... You can't be full-blood German. What? You're not full-blood German. What am I? You're half German, half...

Didn't you say you're like Nordic or something? No. What are you? So my... Okay, so let's get into Josh's family lineage to discuss whether or not I can judge Toaster Strudel. Before you do that, I'm 100% Persian. I'm 99.9% Persian,

0.5% Ashkenazi Jewish, 0.5% God knows what else, probably alien. And that's just like someone else's hair fell in the little vial when you sent it in, right? Like, you're just full-blooded Persian. I'm full-blooded Persian, which means there's probably... Well, you're like part Tehrani and part... Well, I'm Tehrani and Kashi, also known as

Tashi. No one's gonna get that, unless they be like two people um shout out to all our Persian listeners okay there's none um maybe like four you were saying so what are you uh family share is a very German name sheep farmer uh we've been farming sheep in the Americas since like the 1600s uh-huh like deep Dwight Schrute style, Pennsylvania Dutch, which is Pennsylvania Deutsch. So German, um,

and like, uh, you know, central PA. And then my other side, they were the Jewish German side, family fled, general unrest.

People have not, you know, Jews have gone through some stuff. Yeah. So they were German Jews. And a lot of people are like, Oh, German Jewish.

That's, that's an oxymoron. People say that about Persian Jews too. Like, Oh, that doesn't exist. And it's like, no, there's a reason, there's a reason we're here an oxymoron. People say that about Persian Jews too. Like, oh, that doesn't exist. And it's like, no, there's a reason we're here. There's a reason we're in America. So anyways, point is, I'm full German so I can talk

German. That's true. What the hell are we talking about? I'm so sorry. Why do my fingers taste kind of... My fingers taste kind of bitter. They don't taste good. They taste chemically. My fingers taste like chemicals. Which one of these would you say tastes more chemically? Oh, that's a good one.

I think the artificial textures of the Pop-Tart. I'm going to go with Pop-Tart. Yeah, these are... Nothing in nature tastes like this. No. But I do taste a little bit of wheat. I taste a little bit of more strawberry-hness in the toaster strudel there's something about pop tarts that reeks of we did not yet have the technology to make this delicious right interesting i know what i mean i think it's

delicious but i don't think it holds a candle to toaster strudel because of the texture and the warmth and the pocket pocketness um sorry and the pocketiness of toaster strudel i don't think it holds a candle it's this is a pillowy thick luxurious breakfast item the pop tart is just a cardboard filled with i don't know boring stuff do you know what strudel means? Oh, I think it's the act of the... I think so. I think it's the act of the dough being thinned out, right? Strudeling? What?

Did you just, like, make something up on the spot? No! Did you just not want to say no? No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm pretty sure that's what a strudel... Strudel means, like, to lay out very thinly. Strudel means whirlpool you you might there might be it may have become well whenever you think about it whenever you roll it it looks like a whirlpool and you can't do that if the dough isn't stretched

out so technically i'm right okay toast strudels nothing can hold a candle to the taste right yeah like this is this is dry this is crusty and it's like

delicious objectively it's laden with sugar and fat it's good but this like you said this is warm it hugs your mouth it makes you feel

like like a grandma but a grandma who came of age like she had to like work in the factories during the war and didn't have time to cook so

she's like yeah I use canned filling. Like this tastes like a grandma made something and like deep fried a weird item that you never had before. It's really, really good. It's really good. These are not like desserts. They're not meant to be eaten for dessert, right? I don't think these are substantive goods.

So you think the premise of this podcast is erroneous? Absolutely erroneous, Josh. What if I told you that this was literally invented to be a substitute good for this? What if I told you- Toaster Shooter's original marketing campaign was something better just popped up. Better than what? Pop-Tarts. That's all fine and dandy.

But it just- They're so different. Pop-Tarts are shelf-stable. Toaster Shooter ain't to put in the freezer. I agree. Like an Eggo. I think they made- You know what you should have put instead of Pop-tarts are shelf-stable. Toasters should be ready to put in the freezer. I agree. Like an Eggo. I think they made... You know what you should have

put instead of Pop-Tarts here? French toast sticks. You ever thought about that? Whenever you're thinking of the creative of the podcast? Can I say something? I love frozen waffles and I love frozen pancakes.

I grew up on Crusty's frozen pancakes. I still think they're great. Me too. Frozen French toast sticks are far and away the worst frozen breakfast product. I think they're great. Me too. Frozen French toast sticks are far and away the worst frozen breakfast product. I think they're awful. There's just something about them that like is so far from actual French toast.

Really? Yeah. What is it? It's like they're hard. They're crusty. No, they're soft in the middle. Yeah, but they're like still like wet and chewy. Like what?

There's a skin on them. It seems as though you are not following the directions on the box. I'm probably not. Yeah, because every time I had them, they were, like, fluffy on the inside and then kind of a little bit crisp on the outside. Read the directions on the box. I can't stop eating the Pop-Tart. It calls me like a siren song. That's me with the toaster.

And it sounds like, crazy good. Neither of you remember the crazy good camera? I think so. They have these weird animated stick figures. Yeah, they're like, crazy good. They do this crazy good. Crazy Good! Neither of you remember the Crazy Good camera? I think so. They have these weird animated stick figures. Yeah, they're like, Crazy Good! There was one where a man jumps into a kangaroo's pouch. A kangaroo steals a man's Pop-Tart. Kangaroo eats Pop-Tart.

Man is quite mad about it. Jumps into the kangaroo's pouch, starts throwing out tires and old boots, and must plunge his hand into the kangaroo's stomach and rips out a fully intact Pop-Tart. Implying many things about a kangaroo's anatomy that I don't believe to be true. Speaking of these not being substitute goods,

we can agree that neither of these should be like a breakfast, right? This should have been called, the toaster shooter should have been called a toaster Danish. If it wanted to be a breakfast item. It is a breakfast item. Okay, but strudel is not eaten for breakfast. Neither a tart to be clear okay right yeah so you're saying like if this wanted to be a direct substitute good of a pop tart it would have been called a toaster danish yes i want do they make toaster danishes because i would like to have them they should

what about microwave danish instead of toaster danish danish yeah why are both of these uniquely toastable products? I wonder if more Americans now have toasters or more Americans in, say, 1965. Probably they do. You know what I mean? Well, I'm a toaster oven girl, so I have a toaster oven. Are you toaster oven or are you toaster? I hate toasters just because I don't make toast.

And if I do, I put it under the full oven broiler. But I almost never make toast. I like bread, but I'll pan fry it. You know? Okay. I just kind of put bread in a pan with some oil. Okay. No, see, I...

Oh, Danish rings. Oh, my gosh. Kellogg's Danish rings? Wait, Maggie, when were Kellogg's Danish rings invented? That looks like a Jerusalem bagel. Wait, hold on. So we have just learned new information from producer Maggie that Kellogg's once invented a product called Danish rings

that looks very similar to Toaster Strudel. Kellogg's owns Pop-Tart, right? Toaster Strudel owned by Pillsbury, which is owned by 1968 Danish Go-Rounds. What happened? I don't know. So Toaster Strudel wasn't just invented, Nicole, to try and compete with Pop-Tart. It was invented because the dearth of Kellogg's Danish rings no longer being on the market.

Utterly fascinating. You know what I think is really funny? That you look like Dwight Schrute more than I thought you did? No. I was going to like... It's the glasses. I was going to talk about like... You look like you could be related to Dwight Schrute.

I was going to talk about wheat milling production back in the 1800s, actually. I'm sorry, I'm not here to bother you. Is it bad that I act more like dwight shrew in this podcast you're pure dwight shrew like you're like pure dwight shrewting it it's ridiculous i'm sorry i didn't mean to hurt your feelings continue pillsbury was the second company in america to use steel rollers to mill wheat. General Mills, number one. General Mills, they wait 150 years, Nicole. 150 years to then buy Pillsbury, but then antitrust laws in America say,

you got to give some of it back. General Mills, you own too much. Kellogg's yearly profit, 15 billion. Revenue, whatever. General Mills yearly revenue, 20 billion revenue 20 billion yeah i mean these are too bad that's what we're fighting for we're fighting for the attention of two giant meal mill production senpais so this is kelo so so so pop tart is kellogg's yeah founded by of course john harvey kellogg who believed in yogurt enemas up the bum bum and then and then the toaster

shooter was invented by Pillsbury. Illinois Congressman. So no, no, no. Pillsbury, General Mills. Yeah, it was invented by Pillsbury. Okay, can you do the Pillsbury doughboy noise? No. No, it's like a giggle.

It's like, no. Okay. It's like you poke his stomach and he goes. When I think of the Pillsbury Doughboy noise I just think of Damon Wayans in the movie Major Pain have you ever seen that? no

incredible somebody look up I don't know if it holds up but anyways he goes and talks to one of his he's like an ROTC instructor he goes call someone Doughboy

he goes if I poke you in the stomach will you go like the Pillsbury. Dope boy. And it's like one of my favorite delivered wines ever. I love me some of the Wayne's family. What I'm saying is both of these are desserts, right? They're not breakfast.

Well, I like a savory dessert. Well, I like a savory breakfast more than a sweet breakfast. So I agree. Yeah. We have to look, though, at the utility of both of these being eaten for breakfast. You know what I mean?

I will say, this mimics strudel more than this mimics a tart. Okay, Josh, you need to think about who this is marketed to. This is marketed to children. 60% of Pop-Tart consumers

are children. You have to think about this from a busy consumer, like mom, dad, whatever. So you're trying to get your kid to shut up while it's the morning time. And the only way you can get them to shut up is if they do creative activities

a lot of the time. So like they're busy with their food and the toaster strudel does that because they have this little this little snot rocket of icing where they can draw on their food. you don't get that give them a sharpie and a pop tart why would i do that they can't they can't eat sharpies um it's better it's a better product having screaming children being a screaming child yourself pop

tarts are significantly better because there's not a five-minute wait time of putting this in a toaster, you know, and then waiting for it to cool. Oh, my God. Imagine how your child, Nicole, your beautiful, large son, will just be screaming,

wah, ah, ah, I want to watch YouTube on my iPhone 19. Ah, he will scream. And he's going to keep going for three minutes while that's there. Then he burns his mouth and goes

No It's there Josh if you have a large son And they have problems with timing Julia's uncle is like 6'5 My son is going to be so big I think you're going to have a way fish child You're going to have to bottle feed

Until they're nine No god forbid So whenever you have a child fish child. You're going to have to bottle feed till they're nine. One of them sickly Victorian ones. No, God forbid. You're going to, so whenever you have a child and they have no patience, you know what you do to test the filling? You cut it in half and you put it on your chin to see if it's hot enough. Are you kidding me?

What the hell are we talking about? What the hell are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about. The Berlin Wall, you know, five years before, it made work toast with rules. The reason why? Josh. You know Five years before It may work Toaster strudels The reason why Josh

You know They might have I give the win What Go ahead Go ahead Who wins In the debate

Versus Pop-Tarts And Toaster strudels Toaster strudels Taste infinitely better However Pop-Tarts had 20 years Of just

Advanced marketing campaigns Preying on the Whims of children I will continue To buy Pop-Tarts Till the day I die Because of the Tobey Maguire Spidey Berry Pop-Tarts. I will continue to buy Pop-Tarts till the day I die because of the Tobey Maguire Spidey

Berry Pop-Tarts that I love so, Nicole. Also, Pop-Tarts, I think more utility. It's a grab-and-go breakfast item. This is effectively a substitute good for a granola bar, which we've all seen have a massive rise. People, Americans now, are too hurried, too just mired in wage slavery to even pour themselves a bowl of cereal, Nicole. That's why people don't do it.

They're eating yogurt out of a cup. They're sucking down Pop-Tarts. There's no room in American society to eat Toaster Strudel. We don't even have three minutes anymore. I say make room. Make time. Life's precious. Do things that make you happy.

Do things that make you feel good. If that's drawing boobs on Toaster strudel, do it. It's better than Pop-Tarts. All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. And now, well, it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles!

But before we get to that, it's everybody's favorite segment, Review a Review, where I am going to review one of your reviews from Apple Podcasts. Please go to Apple Podcasts, give us five stars. Please give us five stars. We're like Uber drivers. Give us five stars. Yeah, we need them or else we get fired from podcast.org. Alright, first up, we got Leah Fine.

Fun and funny food fans. The two hosts are young, funny, and interact like siblings in the best way. Enjoyable debates interspersed with foodie information. Good guests and engaging topics. I rate that five stars. That's a five star review. Leah, you really covered

the breadth of it and you called us young. Do you think we interact like siblings? I think so, yeah. I think we have a jocular sort of style with each other, kind of needling in each other, but in a way that we obviously respect each other and have a close relationship. I don't think me and you operate like siblings actually what do you think we operate like i don't know like podcast

co-hosts i don't know no because that feels weird and impersonal if i just said i think we're like siblings and you're like we're just podcasts we're not though i think we're just friends yeah because like if you were my sibling i'd be a lot harsher with you. Like a lot harsher. Don't. Don't do that. I can't handle it. I'd be a lot harsher with you. Like a lot harsher. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like if I was your sister, you'd put me in a headlock or something.

I've never assaulted Nicole at work, to be clear. I feel like you do a lot of this noogie noogie. I've never noogied Nicole or any other co-worker. If you had a sibling that was like a year, because I mean, you're younger than you, right? Yeah. Like if you had like a year

younger than your sister, you wouldn't give her, you wouldn't noogie her? I don't know because I was the younger, I can only speak from the younger siblings. You would totally.

My brother used to pin me down and go, and then he would like droop a loogie down and go, and then spit it up. But of course, like that loogie

is going to fall one day and it's going to hit you in the eye and you start crying and he goes, I didn't even mean to, Iaky is going to fall one day and it's going to hit you in the eye and you start crying. And then he goes, I didn't even mean to. I was trying to do a funny joke. And you're like,

a joke to who? A joke for who? It's not a joke for me. They spit on my face? So yeah, I don't think, also, if all my siblings

are so much older than me and it's so impersonal, I don't even know them. Yeah. So I don't think you're siblings. All right, Maggie, play that first opinion hey there josh and nicole so i was making a potato curry indian style and i realized my coconut milk had expired so i substituted it with condensed sweetened milk

okay and added a bunch of limes, lemons, and some rice wine vinegar to help make it a little less sweet. And I bet if you gaslight someone hard enough, they could think it's a traditional Indian sweet dessert. Okay. What are your thoughts? What I would have done if I was him is not used any sort of milk. I would have used evaporated milk.

Well, he obviously didn't have evaporated milk. He had a can of sweetened condensed milk. Well, if you have... Can I just say something? Go ahead. Can I just say something? No, go ahead. If you have a can of sweetened condensed milk,

you should probably also have a can of evaporated milk. I have never owned a can of evaporated milk in my lifetime. Okay. I think you're lying. Why would I lie? What would I have had evaporated milk for? I don't know.

Maybe to make mac and cheese. I have not made mac and cheese inside my home in probably years. When's the last time I would have made mac and cheese? For some sort of, I don't know, cookbook that you wrote when you were younger. First time Julie and I went out drinking and I went back to her place was... Shred quesadillas? No, no, no. That was the second time. This is another story. The first time is when I had to raid her house for something to make. Uh-huh. And I made mac and cheese with like skim milk chickpea banza pasta.

Oh, disgusting. And like Mexican blend shredded cheese with all the anti-caking agent. I bet it was kind of good. It was pretty good. It hit the spot. I put some turmeric in it to make it yellow. Inventive of him to have done that. It's a choice.

It's a choice. Not one I would make, but. I am very interested in sweet potato-based desserts. Not sweet potato-based, but sweet, comma, potato-based. I like the gaslighting part. The gaslighting part's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm into it.

A little bit of sort of emotional terrorism on this part. Let us know how it goes. That's big about food. I would love to try this, but also if I were you, I would have simply substituted nothing for the coconut milk. I would have just thrown some more butter in there, and that probably would have been a very delicious potato curry dish. But you've invented something new. And this is the origin story of many new inventions. Somebody just being a completely hapless

schlub. That's right. What's up, y'all? My name is James. I'm from Salt Lake City, but I live in Cincinnati now, and that's only relevant because of this particular opinion um so i generally as somebody not from this part of ohio i generally find that cincinnati cuisine is pretty uh repulsive uh cincinnati chili get a i don't i don't enjoy it i don't like it however i have to say that a cincinnati much better, miles better, worlds better than a Philly cheesesteak. That's all I have to say.

Those are not substitute goods. What is a Coney? Is it like a Coney dog? Coney dog. So Coney is a chili dog, right? But the Coney dog was invented in Detroit. Coney Island? Oh.

No, not Coney Island. Why is it called Coney? It's named after Coney Island. Hot dogs were sold in Coney Island a lot. So Detroit, there's two spots that claim to have invented the coney i can't remember it but it's a detroit thing and it's got a very sort of thin meat-based chili who can keep up i don't think the chili though is related to cincinnati chili which of course is based off of i believe a macedonian dish um that a macedonian immigrant made in Cincinnati.

I have never had a Coney from either Detroit or Cincinnati, but I love hot dogs covered in meat water. I want to go to Tommy's. You've never been to Tommy's? No, but when I drive by it, I'm like, I'm going to go, but I never go. Tommy's World Famous Original Chili Cheeseburger in Los Angeles. Yeah, I really want to go. It's, um, their chili is almost too thick and starchy and fatty for me. It's good,

but it's not like a coney, like a coney sauce is very kind of thin and watery. It's heavily spiced. Tommy's Chili, which we grew up with a lot of chili dogs on the West Coast, coming from a lot of these sort of roadside stands that would also serve bean burritos, pastrami sandwiches,

teriyaki bowls, stuff like that. Very reflective of the cultures of Los Angeles, especially back at the time. And Tommy's is kind of like the forefront of that. It was like the biggest chain. They're chili burgers. Chili burgers, too, never quite done it for me. Okay. I'm still going to try it.

One day I'm going to try it. You should. They have thick slices of tomato thick slices of onion Tommy's is a fun time yum I have nothing against Tommy's but I would like to go to Detroit and try the Coney's

also Cincinnati I don't have an opinion on this really sorry wait wait why take a pot shot of the Philly cheesesteak I don't know

it was weird it was weird to me it was weird that he did that I'm sorry I don't like that Philly cheesesteak it's a good sandwich sorry

also I'm sorry about calling you like similar to Dwight Schrute you called me like pig anus in a previous episode, so that's cool. Oh, well, that's fine. We wrote that intro together. I know, we did. I was like, you cool calling me a pig butthole?

And I said, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Dwight Schrute was a little bit, I don't know, out of left field. No, I think he's probably the most engaging character, the most, like, line for line funniest character in The Office. Um, I think Creed is the funniest. Oh, you're correct. Creed is the funniest in The office yeah also haven't really watched if i can't scuba what's this all been for come on i haven't watched the office much okay next opinion i've been sprouting grains at my desk hey josh and nicole i just had a random

question for you guys if your favorite song was a food, what food would it be? Love the pod. Bye. What's your favorite song? Of all time? Yeah. I have a lot, but my end-all be-all song that I've listened to most and enjoyed listening to without skipping is

Layla by Eric Clapton. Okay. Did you expect that? No, not at all. I didn't know you listened to The Clap. I don't. The Clap Man. I don't. Oh, Eric. Or Eric Clap-a-Claps.

Yeah. What would Layla be as a food? Hmm. I'm, like, playing, like, the intro. I don't know. Probably some sort of pulled beef situation. Why? Because of the way that the guitar goes.

The way they're pulling the strings. It's kind of like. And it's like grungy. And then it goes again. And then it goes. I'm really wailing right now. And then he goes, And then it goes into this really pretty,

Layla, you got me on my knees. Layla. Probably nachos, tower of nachos with some pulled beef around. And then some jalapeno slices, like pickled jalapeno slices. And that's it. I'm wearing the Vendead shirt right now. I don't know what Vendead is. Vendead, lovely, lovely new metal band.

Can't help you. They do good work. Salmonella recently. Their song Dead to Me. Is that your number one favorite song of all time? It's a fantastic song. Number one favorite song of all time is such a difficult question.

Go deep into your mind. Sinner Man by Nina Simone. That is your favorite. And it would be a cinnamon roll. I think that's the best song I've ever written. A recent song most played this year has been Make Me Famous by Kim Dracula, which has so many different sounds and it just punches you in the face

constantly. It's constantly changing harmony. There's no harmony. I don't even know what a harmony is it just punches you in the freaking face with all of the sounds and all the genres if I think of food that punches you in the face

with every single flavor I think of Thai food I think of papaya salad like a good northern Thai papaya salad with like fermented is Kim Dracula to you? that's Kim Dracula make me famous

you know what I mean okay I'm pulling up my most listened to songs with like Sai Ua the sausage you get a side of Sai Ua sausage with like a papaya salad uh-huh uh i think that i think that's kim dracula's make me famous okay apparently like there's something on spotify we can go to like songs you listen to your top do you know i'm talking about shout out to guitarist for vended

connor grodzinski he watches uh mythical kitchen your top songs 2022 my number one most listened to song he makes the recipes sometimes it was what you need by k trinata featuring charlotte day wilson uh leasing or griffin taylor you do good work what's i think that song would be a lime popsicle wait what was your most listened to song of 2022 yeah uh what you need by k trinata featuring charlotte day wilson i think it would be a lime popsicle. That's good. Let me think. Hold on. Yeah. Okay, lime popsicle.

Maggie, play the next opinion. I'm going to find my most listened to song. Hey, I am Caden from Warwick, Rhode Island. And honestly, love the podcast. Thanks, dude. But I just got to say say i don't know why but i have a really weird texture problem i'll eat foods and i can't get over the texture my family thinks i'm crazy they say that i'm just being over dramatic and i just need to suck it up and swallow them but I can't it makes me gag it am I crazy or not dude what's the problem here just the room thank you bye love the pod thank you for

calling um one you're you're not crazy at all and two even if somebody thinks the advice is just suck it up and do it it's rarely ever helpful to say. A lot of people have textural aversions to food. Sure. And some people can sort of get over them naturally. I remember when I was a kid, my grandma made me eat a slice of raw tomato. She's like, you cannot get ice cream unless you eat this slice of raw tomato. Sure.

Big old thick, unripe tomato. And the texture of the tomato seeds made me physically gag. And now I pop tomatoes like candy. I love them. I ate a bunch of cherry tomatoes last night. So I sort of naturally got over that. But I think the big thing is you shouldn't create negative emotions around food, especially when people are young. I believe in that. I think it should always be about encouraging and never like suffering. I think that's fair. Yeah, yeah. I think you should try things and, you know, maybe it's just the amount that you're eating. Maybe cut it into smaller pieces. Maybe, I don't know. I don't really have an answer for that. I feel like that's more like a medical problem more so than two jabronis with a food podcast question. That's just my opinion. Just try smaller portions and don't give up.

Season it with stuff you like. Salt, sugar, pepper, spicy stuff. Try and think about the complex nature of good and bad. That good doesn't necessarily exist and that something that you currently think is unpleasant isn't necessarily bad and won't always be bad. Great example. Next time you have a texture in your mouth that you don't like,

let it sit there and think about it. Like really think about what it is that you don't like about it. And I feel like... Journal it. Journal it. Think about it. Be very meditative about it. I used to hate mustard.

I used to literally poo-poo mustard, hate it mustard more than anything. A few years ago, I ate mustard and I really liked it. Taste buds constantly change. You constantly change. You are ebbing. You are flowing. You are a microcosm in this earth. Don't knock it till you try it. Life's short. Coward motivational.

I'm sweaty. Hi, sweaty. Nice to meet you. I'm dad. Anyways. Are we done? One more. Maggie, come on, please. Please, Maggie. What? anyways are we done? that's all I have time for today one more one more one more come on please please Maggie what?

oh my number one song it's Diazepam by 1056 it's a song about a person on Diazepam what is that? is that an SSRI?

yeah I think so anti anxiety what do they call them? SSRI is that an SSRI? I don't know. It's something like that.

Anyways, it's like, you know, it's kind of like that. And what food is that? I don't know, like gruel? Like a spicy gruel. Ooh, uh... Congee. Congee.

Yeah, congee. Okay. You know? Great. Good band. 10-56. I love Kei Tornado. Seen him twice. Yeah. Live.ie. Okay. You know? Great. Good band. 1056. I love Kei Tornado. Seen him twice.

Yeah. Live. That's cool. Like live music. Can we wrap now or you still want Maggie to do one more? One more.

Maggie, come on. One more. One more song. Come on, Maggie. But then second was Telescope by Tala. Okay. I probably listened

to Telescope by Tala more, but 1056 just, that song kind of plays. My second was Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai. Jamiroquai. Love Jamiroquai. JK was the first man I ever had a crush on. Still do. Come on the podcast. Give me a little kiss right here

on the forehead. One more! Come on. Come on, Maggie. Hey, guys. This is Michael. I just wanted to give you one of my opinions. A hard taco is a cannoli. Oh, I know the hard shell doesn't go all the way over like a cannoli does, but it's basically a savory cannoli at that point. What do you guys think?

Sure. Yeah. I'm with it. Are you with it? I'm on the same wavelength as you, Michael. Little tube, little tube, little tube, little tube. So cannoli etymology borrowed from Sicilian plural of cannoli, which means a cane or tube.

So little tube. And then if we look at taquito, taquitos are also, it means little taco, of course, but also flauta is a term that is used for a certain type of hard, chill taco. If we look at flauta, flauta means tube. Flauta means flute. What's in a flute?

A tube. I believe, Maggie, you're an instrumentalist. Flute, tube. Flutes have tubes. Maggie does not play the flute. By God. I think you're correct. Me too.

On that note, thank you all so much for stopping by. A hot dog is a sandwich. We got new audio-only episodes out on Wednesday. Video drops on the Mythical Kitchen channel on Sunday. That's right. And if you want to be featured on Opinions by Castorol, the best part of this podcast, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1.

Go to the Mythical Kitchen channel and watch the other stuff that we do. That'd be pretty cool. We're very proud of it. Also, listen to Venda. New Metal's back. Like, New Metalcore. We're very proud of it. Also, listen to Venda. New Metal's back. Like, New Metalcore. Honey, New Metal never left.