A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - The Problem With All-You-Can-Eat Buffets

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

Today, Josh and Nicole the real reason why buffet-style dining is a dying breed and the foundational problem with all-you-can-eat buffets! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. No more carbs, Josh. We gotta get our money's worth on those crab legs. But I want more garlic knots. No, no, no. We gotta get the crab legs, Josh. Ooh, build your own mashed potato bar. Don't get distracted! This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherr. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati.

And Nicole, today we are talking all things ace. Not the asexual, aromantic community, but we'll devote a podcast to them later. But we're talking... Cool flag. Wait. Purple, gray, white, and yellow, I believe. No, I believe that's the lesbian flag. Oh, it's not the Lakers?

And the Lakers. No, the ace flag. It's like purple, gray, black, and white, which is like one of my favorite color schemes. Purple, gray, black, and white. It's kind of a lavender purple. Yeah. I might just get a flag for, you know,

like a bumper sticker. I can show support, and then I can also have like a cool aesthetic on my Nissan. Do whatever you want. No, we're talking about AYCE, all you can eat. And it is an American staple. But today we're taking you to the dark underbelly. We're talking to you about all the problems that buffets cost, Nicole. We've talked about buffets like four times on the podcast. How many more times can we talk about buffets? We can talk about buffets. No, no, no. But today, I want to go down

how... The seedy underbelly? Not necessarily. But no, to me, I'm fascinated by it because COVID took so many things from us. And all-you-can-eat buffets

are one of them. Our local Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet, Newtown China Buffet, they're now gone. Sizzler declared bankruptcy. I'm worried about what's happening to Vegas, Nicole. Nothing's going to happen to Vegas.

Nothing's going to happen to Vegas. Remember whenever in Vegas they were doing the, what was it? There was like crypto hacks and stuff. Oh, yeah. Remember that? I think it was the Bellagio. They like hacked into one of the hotel systems. Yeah, they're like, no power, B-words.

Remember that? Yo, I knew somebody that was staying there and the elevators wouldn't work. They couldn't get into their rooms. That's brutal. That's pretty brutal. I think that's a bigger problem than the buffets shut. I don't think there's ever going to be the bacchanalia of all of the craziness in Vegas. All right.

And all the food and drinks. This is now a podcast not about all-you-can-eat buffets but about cybersecurity. Go ahead, Nicole. Tell them about your firewall proposal. If you're looking to... I can't even do it seriously. No, but I want to talk about how buffets make money and

how it is our job as Americans to try and beat them. Yeah, you know, I think there's actually a show. I think there's a UK-based show or a segment where they talk about beating the buffet and it's like... What kind kind of shows this and how do i get on it who just 24 years old and today she's going to show us how she beat the buffet and it's really interesting and puja sits there and she's like carbs uh oh yeah it's like yeah yeah i don't know it's like

this weird show specifically like it's a uk show. The two, is that 20 million calorie buffet? I don't know. They have too many digits after the two. I don't know what it is, but I watch it specifically on YouTube. And it's like little snippets. And it's just people that just can beat buffets. And it's massively entertaining. That is beautiful.

It's funny because it's a British show. I consider all you can do buffets to be a very American thing, even though the origin comes from Swedish Nordic culture. Who does it? I didn't know that. Yeah, at least from my understanding. So the smorgasbord, right? Oh, yeah.

Not to be confused with smorgasbrod. Not to be confused with either smorgasbord or smorgasburg. Oh, smorgasburg. Smorgasburg was the food festival started in Williamsburg, Brooklyn that has come to L.A. And then I lost several thousand dollars on trying to sell chicken sandwiches and chimichangas. But you gained so much perspective. And I gained so much perspective. But no.

So the Smorgasbord is a Swedish style buffet. If you go to Solvang, which is Danish, not Swedish. I love Solvang. For people that don't know, Solvang is a Danish themedthemed town, and it's about two hours north of Los Angeles. Such a happy place. And there's little windmills, there's little pancake houses, and there are smorgasbords. And they have buffets. And it's kind of a funny catch-22 because, listen, shout-out to all my Swedish homies, you know, Sander out there in Trondheim, Norway.

I hope you're doing great, buddy. But their food is not great. Not good in like buffet sense or just not good period? Because I love able skeevers. I love the little rolly sausage B-words. Why are you doing B-words today? We're not in the business of ranking every country by food. That'd be a great podcast.

If we were, I don't know if the Nordic countries are in the top half of that bracket. It's just when it's cold, it's hard to grow a variety of vegetables. I remember. Yeah, you pickle a lot of stuff. I was listening to an interview and somebody asked a Russian chef, like, why do Russians love beets so much? And they were like. It was the only thing that could exist in the snowy part of the country. They were like, it grows in the snow.

It's like, oh, great. I was a little wordy. I'm sorry. Yeah, Russians are known for their brevity. But, but, but, but, as Dostoevsky writes a thousand pages, I should talk about Dostoevsky. But no, the smorgasbord, Swedish-style buffet, but it's a lot of cold cuts and pickled fish and delightful things. That actually started as a practice called brandvinsbord.

This is so interesting. I had no idea. Yeah, so this is like you see it in the 16th century in Sweden, and it started as like drinking houses. Makes sense. They would serve, what is it? Is it just called Brannvin? Brannvin was like a spirit that they would serve. People get all messed up, and they would serve a light meal before that at the Brannvinsbord,

where they would just eat little, you know, cold cuts, meats, cheeses, whatever, and then get drunk. I kind of did that when I went to Oktoberfest. Yeah? What did they serve? Lots of cold cuts, lots of fish, like pickled fish, lots of like pickled veg. Fantastic drinking food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree.

Especially for cold, clear alcohol. Oh, yeah, yeah. Are you being sarcastic? No, I'm dead serious. No, no. That's one of my favorite things to do. Oh, because I wasn't drinking cold, clear alcohol. Oh, you're drinking beer.

Slang and beers. Bigger than my face. That's fun, too. The Bronson's Board, eventually they were like, oh, people seem to really love just eating giant tables of available food. And then they kind of transitioned that to a heavier meal they called Smorgasbord. And then I think the first,

not the first all-you-can-eat buffet in America, but certainly the most famous, was in Vegas in the 1940s. It was called the Buckaroo Buffet and it was just a way to try and show the opulence of Las Vegas and get Americans in. 1940s, American culture sweeps the world through the invasion

of Normandy, I suppose. But for real, we spread a lot of American culture and now all-you-can-eat buffets have become a staple. And a lot of people ask, how do they make money? It's just so excessive, the idea of going to a staple. And a lot of people ask, how do they make money? But like, it's just so excessive, the idea of going to a buffet. A hundred percent.

But especially for my dad's generation, right? Grew up with parents who lived through the Great Depression, who lived through World War II, who lived through scarcity. And so everything they wanted was about opulence. So they wanted to see

a giant hunk of prime rib that a person's carving for them, trays of crab legs. How many times can you go to a buffet? Like once a week? Is that like typical? I remember when you were a kid and you went to an all-you-can-eat buffet, did you have that sense of excitement? I had the same sense of excitement

before my first kiss. No, actually I didn't. I know, weird, right? But again, I didn't consider food to be the most exciting thing on earth until I turned 19. But like your parents kind of restricted what you ate in the house. Your mom didn't get sugary cereal, stuff like that. But I don't think like, for example, soup plantation. Like we never…

Oh, no, go ahead. Sorry, I thought you told me. No, no, no, go, go, go. No, I'm going to talk about soup plantation later. Go ahead. I was never one of those people that was like, we need to go to soup. All my friends are like, yeah, soup plantation rocks. And I'm just sitting there like, I think we should just like not go there.

I just never liked the idea of an endless supply of food. If you started like a sandwich chain and you called it sandwich plantation, people would be like, hey, don't call something a plantation. Yeah. But somehow a restaurant called themselves the soup plantation. I don't know. I think they got away with it because it was combined to one word. You didn't think of it. Soup plantation?

Soup plantation. It's not soup plantation. But it's not called that in other parts of the country. It's called sweet tomatoes. Green tomatoes. Sweet tomatoes. Why didn't they change the name here? They sure should have.

It should have just been sweet tomatoes. I know. I agree. I agree. The point is if people don't know It should have just been Sweet Tomatoes. I know. I agree. I agree. The point is if people don't know we'll just call it Sweet Tomatoes.

For people that don't know Sweet Tomatoes it is an all-you-can-eat buffet but they gamed the system perfectly because the way that buffets work is they lose money

on prime rib and crab legs. And they don't have that kind of stuff there. They have no meat there. They don't need it. You could like buffets make money it's all about laws of averages. For every person like me who's going to try and eat as many crab legs as

possible. My dad. Your dad. There's a seven-year-old who is eating $1.50 worth of mac and cheese. Right. But getting charged $27.55 or whatever. Exactly. And so it works on mass scale. The cheaper the food that you serve, the sl slimmer the margins which means the more volume you have to serve it's a phase sling volume yeah soup plantation

had the genius idea sweet tomatoes god it's so weird it was so normal when we were kids but their whole model is that they serve soup and salad

and pasta and breads all of the cheapest things in the world ooh and self-serve ice cream and soft-serve ice cream remember the self-serve ice cream I would pour a cup of cola and I-serve ice cream. And self-serve ice cream. Remember the self-serve ice cream? I would pour a cup of cola and I would put the ice cream

right into the cola. I would make Coke floats. Why are you so smart? Because this is where Nicole... Not in like the way you are now, but like when you were a little chunky kid. I was a little precocious chunky kid, man.

And all I wanted, all I wanted when I was a little smart precocious chunky kid was to have full access to just slop heaps of food, to an ice cream dispensing machine, to a soda fountain, to they had just vats of liquid brownie that were never quite set. Remember that? They were always hot and liquidy. God.

And it was so good. That didn't excite you like it did me. No, it didn't. It kind of like repulsed me. It repulsed me. It repulsed me. I think the idea of buffets, I mean, other than when you're in Vegas, the idea of a buffet unfortunately just does repulse me in a very weird way.

Wait, why unless you're in Vegas though? Opulence, man. You're in Vegas, you know, your husband's playing the slots, playing 21, he gets a voucher, you get to go to the buffet

for half opulence. That thing says opulence like a voucher. That's us gaming the system no honestly though so if they're gonna game the system we're gonna game it back and it's just a game of back and forth

but I don't know what it is something about buffets in LA or like wherever else don't really serve it unless like let me tell you the only time I think

I would enjoy going to a buffet outside of Vegas would be like in like Pennsylvania Dutch town where they have like shady maple is that what is that the famous one is that the famous one yeah shady maple and they say they call it a smorgasbord oh well i would go there no questions asked i would slap on chicken fried steak i would smother it with two kinds of gravy i would get everything there. And because I feel like if you're in that, if that energy and vibe is there, you just need to match it. And I think that play,

what's it called? Shady Maple Smorgasbord. I think it's in Lancaster, right? It's right outside of Lancaster. That's great. So like, I feel like if I'm there and if I ever find myself in that area of Pennsylvania, like you just gotta do just gotta, you just gotta do it, you know? But in LA, it just doesn't serve me or the people I surround myself with to go to all-you-can-eat buffets. But I will attend all-you-can-eat barbecue, Korean barbecue. That's interesting. Tell them about all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue. Well, all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue is awesome. You can get it. I like to go to Gardena or K-Town or anywhere that has like a large Korean population.

And there's different tiers of all you can eat. So there's the first tier that has like your run-of-the-mill. Like you go get some bulgogi. You get some prime rib. You get some fun stuff. You get an egg soup. Like the egg souffle thing. Yeah, the steamed egg.

Yeah, and then there's a second which is kind of like a little bit higher. And you get cool things like beef tongue. And you get like a little bit more of like maybe like pork or stuff like that. And then the third tier, that's where it's a really, really good deal because you're getting all the USDA prime rib and you're getting all the short ribs and all that cool stuff. And yeah, that's all you can eat. So all you can eat. I have found myself maturing as an adult realizing that. Proud of you. Thank you so much. Realizing that I don't need to eat all I can eat all the time, which is a very new thing for me.

Absolutely. You don't even like, I'm going to tell you right now, I love going to like crab boil places. And there's not all you can eat ones, but like even going to that, I'm like, this is excessive. Yeah. This is like too much for me. You don't delight in the excess anymore.

Not anymore. Not anymore. I'm like, I'll just have like, you know, the egg, the corn and like 14 shrimp. Not anymore. I'm like, I'll just have like, you know, the egg, the corn, and like 14 shrimp. You know what I mean? This is the most

American conversation. I went to an all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue restaurant and I want to bring up the idea of like food safety here. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you always, when you're getting an all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue restaurant. And I want to bring up the idea of like food safety here. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you always, when you're getting an all-you-can-eat option, they're moving so much product. And it's, again, when you're operating at that scale and you need to move so much product, you need to move fast. Sometimes things fall through the cracks. And I made the genius decision. Did you get intestines? No, no, no. Oh, I've gotten intestines at All You Can Eat. Yeah, you go to Ukuk. Oh, I love Ukuk, but I don't like it. These intestines were not cleaned. Okay, yes.

My intestines... It was like a gusher filled with poo. That's really... I ate poo. I could feel it. Oh, my God. So that's a risk from All You Can Eat Buffets. That wasn't the worst thing that I ate there.

Okay. Like that specific one? I got the beef tartare. Oh, the Yukhoe? The Yukhoe. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. It was... Warm? Yeah. Yeah, I ate it. like that specific one I got the beef tartare oh the Yukhoe the Yukhoe uh huh yeah yeah it was um

warm yeah yeah I ate it because here's how they also win you know how like Blockbuster made money right you wouldn't return it

it's late fees baby yeah yeah that's the profit margin oh you're talking about if you don't finish your food they upcharge you the amount of times man my friends

would literally we would hide it under the crevice at Alkeney, we would hide it under the crevice. At All You Can Eat Barbecue, we would hide it under the crevices of the table. We would put it under the chairs. We would stuff our pockets with it so we wouldn't get charged. So at an All You Can Eat buffet, you know, you may get some food of suspect provenance. Totally.

Because they're moving fast. You get intestines. You get some poo in them. You ate poo. I ate poo. And then you get some beef in them. You ate poo? I ate poo. And then you get some beef tartare that's warm. And I guess the thing that you're worried about with warm beef tartare is probably E. coli, which is also poo.

So you're eating a lot of poo. You don't want to. Think about buffets. You're eating a lot of poo. And these foods, maybe the intestines, maybe it's not proper poo. I don't know what happens if you don't clean an intestine, but it sure felt like it at the time. And I will say I love gopchang, Korean intestines. I guesschang uh korean intestines yeah like no gopchang is a dish and that's what

that restaurant specializes in really fantastic when they're cleaned properly and you got a triple rinse and blanch them all that i don't get intestines from all you can eat places yeah you shouldn't and i learned that and i learned that yeah i just don't um but you're then faced with the uncomfortable decision do i house this or do I pay for the leftovers that I haven't eaten or do I suffer my fear of confrontation and go to the server and go, hey, these weren't cleaned properly. This is warm. I don't feel comfortable eating this. And the last – I would eat so much poo rather than confront a service worker about an issue. That's a personality trait of yours that I don't love.

You think I love it? You think I like eating the poo? Absolutely not. You think I wish I could just ask for what I need and what I deserve? Of course. But here I am. You're just going to eat poo, huh? You're just going to eat poo?

It's a metaphorical eating poo. Yeah, big time. Big time metaphors in this. But even like other all-you-can-eat buffets, think about… Sushi? Sushi. I don't do it. I've never been. Big time. Big time metaphors in this. But even like other all-you-can-eat buffets, think about— Sushi? Sushi. I don't do it.

I've never been. You've never— But I would thrive there. I would thrive at an all-you-can-eat sushi bar. Dude, my brother and I, who, you know, we both grew up with the same amount of scarcity in our lives. Sure. And he and I are both maturing as adults and we're financially stable. So impressed by the two of you.

Thank you so much. But when we sometimes get together, you retreat back to that scarcity mindset. Yeah, toxicity. And you go, I need to hoard right now. So we went to an all-you-can-eat sushi. Recently? And he just, this is maybe like four years ago.

And he just goes, eight orders salmon, eight orders yellowtail, eight orders tuna. 55 burgers, 55 beans. Yeah, okay. And then the server walks away and then he opens the menu and goes, eight orders salmon, eight orders yellowtail, eight orders tuna. 55 burgers, 55 meat. Yeah, okay. And then the server walks away, and then he opens the menu and goes, all right, so what do you want to eat? And I'm like, Doug, you just got 24 orders of sushi. And he's like, well, yeah, that was just so they get started on it,

and now we can actually read what's in the rolls. And then we did. We just sat there, and we calculated it, Nicole. He's so much more frugal than I am that he went through the menu and he tabulated up how much everything would have cost a la carte, came up with a number and said, look, we beat him by $80. Wow. And I was like, why does it have to be combative?

He's not combative. He's just doing the work. He's trying to beat them. Just because you're beating someone doesn't mean you're being combative. You're just better at them. It's fine. You're better than them. It's fine.

Go, John. I'm on John's side. Sorry. You know what? I've never— Again, since I've always wanted to go to these places, but I've never been. CeCe's. Remember the ads?

I've never been to a CeCe's Pizza. There's none near us. I think there's one in the Valley. Is there— No. Or is there a CeCe's Cafe? I'm mixing it up. Definitely not Cece's Pizza.

The closest one was like way out. I think close to the Arizona border straight up. Oh, really? Okay. Like in the desert. Not frequenting the Arizona border. I don't like Arizona. It's too hot.

Have I ever been? I've only been to Flagstaff. I always want to go to Cece's. They have like a $5 pizza buffet. I feel like I can throw up though. Okay, so if you're thinking about

one of the reasons that buffets function economically too as opposed to any other sort of restaurant is that there's no servers, right? You got people

slinging food in the back. There's people, no. There's servers but not the same level. No people that take your drink orders. They're like less staffed than a normal restaurant.

That's okay. There are certain things that all-you-can-eat buffets don't have to do that normal restaurants do that cause them to have a lower amount of labor. I'm thinking about

value here with CC's Pizza, $5 all-you-can-eat versus the gold standard of cheap takeaway pizza, Little Caesars. Yeah, hot and ready. $5 hot and ready.

Could you eat more than a single $5 hot and ready? Because when you go to Little Caesars, you're already paying $5 for, prospectively, all you can eat. You shouldn't eat more than a whole pizza. But let me tell you what it is. It's the illusion of, like, an oasis and, like, a myriad of choices. It's like, I can have a scoop of tuna.

Like, I don't know if they have tuna. I'm going to take soup plantation or sweet tomatoes. I was going to say stewed tomatoes. It's so weird. Sweet tomatoes. You can have a scoop of their tarragon tuna salad. Oh my. You can have, do you remember their tarragon tuna salad?

Does that mean you like it? Introduced to tarragon via the sweet tomatoes. And then you take their doughy pizza and then you take some, I don't know, like some crappy spinach tomatoes, and you put them on the side, and then you have the self-serve. I love their chili. Yeah, okay, whatever. It's an endless supply of food and combinations, and it's free will,

but it's not really, and it's just fun, and it's crazy, and you can flip the card over and the card says yes more i'll be back or i am done take my plate you know what i mean it's just it's crazy all the they had so many different kinds of pastas all of them taste the same though you couldn't i was kind of confusing like the mac and cheese tasted like the the prima vera and you can really tell why it was so mushy. And the pizza, the yeast was so overproofed on those pizzas. And you remember how they would cut it? They would cut it, and then there was...

Yes! They were supposed to be in, like, bars. But there was always, like, one part in the corner that had no sauce, maybe, like, the size of a penny of, like, cheese, and you're like, I guess I'll take this one. And then whenever the hot would come out, people would just stand. Run over. You run over.

People would just stand and just be like. You know what all you can eat I like though? Brazilian barbecue. That is the all you can eat of kings. Because it's meat.

And I like it. But so you think you're getting better value from that or? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not. No. It has nothing to do with value.

It has to do with, again, the opulence and the vibe of someone in a cute little white shirt holding a skewer of me and saying, more, less, how much do you want? And I love that. You like feeling taken care of. I really do. And Brazilian barbecue, especially, they come out with a skewer and they're asking if you want rare, medium, whatever. Ruining my life, how much I like to be taken care of. It's horrible. You do, but that's like, that is kind of the essence of why buffets took off in America,

right? It like caters to you? Yeah. People in America, they, especially I'm thinking buffets were the golden age of like my dad's era when he grew up. That's why I hold them to such high self-esteem. Is Cracker Barrel and Golden Corral buffets? I've never been to either.

Cracker Barrel is not Golden Corral. I don't know if Cracker Barrel has had salad bars at some point. Golden Corral though is. I've never been to either. Cracker Barrel is not. Golden Corral. I don't know if Cracker Barrel has had salad bars at some point. Golden Corral, though, is. Okay, cool. I've never been to a Golden Corral because they're not as popular in California. Hometown Buffet is the one that I grew up going to. Never been. And I, with my ex, we decided to go on a date night.

And we were like, hey. To Hometown Buffet? Let's, like, do a fun, ironic date night at Hometown Buffet. Aw. And it was, like, pretty depressing. Yeah, it wasn't. Well, you know, we didn't have a great relationship. But it was, like do a fun ironic date night at a hometown buffet. And it was like pretty depressing. Yeah, it wasn't well, you know, we didn't have a great relationship but it was like a really sad time. I thought it would be fun. Oh, but it wasn't fun?

Like you didn't find like the campiness of it? No. Oh. No, but but but but my brother and I, we did go to the Sizzler buffet with my grandma. And that was? We decided to have a little cooking competition and see who could create the most deranged items. grandma. And that was? We decided to have a little cooking competition and see who could create the most deranged items. Cute.

And I made a ceviche with the lemons from the iced tea and the imitation crab and then plated it really nice on nachos. And that's fun. And did your grandma decide

which one was better? No, she goes, what the hell are you doing? Why are you playing with your food? How sweet. Speaking of sweet plantation. I'm sorry. Sweet tomatoes. Speaking of sweet plantation. I'm sorry.

Sweet tomatoes. Speaking of sweet tomatoes. Okay, it was called. Yeah, it's just weird. It's like the name of the business. It's there. I don't. It's like egg.

It's the breakfast restaurant in LA. You can say it. I don't want to say it. Egg. Tuck. Oh. No, no, no. They serve breakfast sandwiches.

Egg tuck. It's not called egg tuck. It's called. Look up egg tuck. Wait. That's a different. That's a whole different restaurant. No, it isn't. It's an egg sandwich place. I googled it look up egg tuck. Wait, that's a different, that's a whole different restaurant. No, it isn't.

It's an egg sandwich place. I Googled it the other day. No, but you know the one that I'm talking about. Of course I know the one. You gotta say it. I don't want to say it. It's weird. I'm not giving it to you.

I'm not giving it to you. I don't want to say it. Do you want to say it, Jamie? I'm not letting you have it. Because I feel uncomfortable saying this. You don't need to say it. It's a gendered word

and I don't know, it's weird, but I'm sure it is. Yeah. You know? Yeah, and that makes you a, I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding. That's so bad. That's so bad. That's so rude, and that makes you a... I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding.

That's so bad. That's so bad. That's so rude. That's so bad. That was really rude. He's talking about egg slut, everybody. I'm talking about... Yeah, I'm talking about...

If you can't say it, then... It's weird to me. I don't know. Saying egg slut is weird? Am I... No, never mind. Better than everyone else? No, no, no.

No, I'm worse because I'm weird about this. Sue Plantation killed somebody. My local Sioux Plantation, we were talking about the problem of all-you-can-eat buffets, so I wanted to talk about the food safety issues. Sioux Plantation was shut down

for four months in Rancho Santa Margarita. It might have been Mission Viejo, my neighboring town that I used to go to all the time. And then one day it came and the doors were shuttered and there was caution tape

and someone died of E. coli. And then one day it came and the doors were shuttered and there was caution tape. And someone died of E. coli. And then they traced it to the spinach and they went to the farm. And they were trying to figure out track where it came from. Is there fetid water somewhere? Did a worker do poo-poo in the fields? No, turns out little kid, turns out little kid came out of the bathroom with a little poopy on his hands. Touched the spinach. Oh, no.

How did they find that out? Somebody died. they have like investigators when there's a food outbreak. Investigators like go and like figure it out. And they're trying to make it easier with like cereal coated, like trackable vegetables and stuff.

Okay. Yeah, really cool. But anyways, yeah, yeah, just a little kid. So, you know, a lot of people have food safety concerns at the phase, do you? Do I?

Yeah. Have food safety concerns? Yeah, like are you disgusted by the fact that people are just like, you've seen how I operate around food. A lot of people have food safety concerns at the phase. Do you? Do I? Yeah. Have food safety concerns? Yeah, like, are you disgusted by the fact that people are just like, you've seen how I operate around food. I'm just touching everything. I know, but, like, let me tell you. Have you ever seen Mad TV where Mo Collins is that one lady?

And she goes to a buffet. She goes underneath. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sneeze guard. She breathes. People are doing that. And she goes, yeah. The sneeze guard. She breathes. People are doing that. And she goes,

Oh. Oh. Oh. Shout out to everyone who grew up on that TV. Shout out to Mo Collins. Mo Collins. What a talent. What a true talent.

Like that. What was her name? Was it like Maureen? Or am I just making this up? I think her name was Maureen. Something like that. God, yeah. What a flashback. I'm trying Or am I just making this up? I think her name was Maureen. Something like that. God, yeah. What a flashback.

I'm trying to think. She'd hike up her pants. I don't remember. But yeah, like if someone's doing that, yeah, I have problems. Maureen. Maureen.

I have problems with that. But like, you know what? Everybody's a little bit gross. Everybody's a little bit gross. Our buffet's a little bit grosser Everybody's a little bit gross. Are buffets a little bit grosser? Maybe like 5%. But again, am I frequenting buffets? No, if I'm going to a buffet, I'm going to one probably at Caesar's Palace or The Wind or MGM.

So I would like to think that they have high standards and the protocols are nifty and handy dandy. And they're taking care of their staff and the staff is washing their hands and they're washing their fruits and vegetables so you know and they generally they generally do yeah not really you know they generally

you have to if you're serving a buffet the food has to be what above 140 degrees the pasteurization temperature and so like there are like protocols involved

but you know sometimes one of them little sternos goes out you know do you tell them when the sterno goes out? what? do you tell them when the sterno goes out? What? Do you tell them when the sterno goes out?

No. No, no, no. I don't say crap, man. I don't say crap. I ate poo instead of asking for something I need. I always tell them the candle. If I'm at a wedding that has catering, like buffet style catering, or if I'm at a buffet or anywhere, I always tell them, hey, your lamp went out.

No, not me, man. I care. We haven't talked about the greatest buffet of them all. It's the Indian lunch buffet, baby. Indian lunch buffet. All the foods are meant to be on a buffet, Nicole. All the stews. All the rice, the bread, sit in the basket.

I love Indian lunch buffets so much. I had it for my—I had an Indian lunch buffet on my high school graduation. And me and my mom went together. And we had the best time ever. And I still remember it vividly. It's the one next to the former West Side Pavilion Mall. Do you know what I'm talking about? Next, and it was just, it was 9.

I used to live right there. You did? Yeah, yeah. It was $9.95. And it was so good. I remember the gulab jamun was perfect and warm and gorgeous. And their lamb vindaloo was good. And everything, like their dal wakhani, everything there was so good.

And I remember it vividly. And that is the best deal you will ever find and the most delicious food you will ever have in a buffet setting. Do you think that all-you-can-eat buffets have a place in America going forward? Do you see them dwindling-can-eat buffets have a place in America going forward? Like, do you see them dwindling out? Nuh-uh. When are we going to

return to our roots, Nicole, and revive Sizzler and their delicious salad bar that inexplicably had vats of nacho cheese on it? I think Chain is doing that. Chain? I think Chain is.

No, Chain's such a insular L.A. celebrity thing. Yeah, man. Yeah. Okay, never mind. I love Yeah, man. Yeah. Okay. I love chain, but you know. I don't know. I like to think that they're helping remind people of like-

The love of chain restaurants. Yeah. I think they're reminding people that chain restaurants exist. But isn't there like articles that say like millennials and Gen Zers are ruining buffets? Yeah. We've killed like, we've killed Sizzler. Like Hometown Buffet, I think, may have completely shuttered. So we don't seem that interested anymore.

Marie Callender's. But something must rise in its stead. I don't think it's buffets again. Unless, like, some cool YouTubers do it. Hear me out. All you can eat Korean barbecue, but for every single culture. So you just put, like, a giant plancha in front of you, and it's, like, Italian. And then they just come, and they bring, like, raw spaghetti at your table.

And then you boil your own spaghetti, and then you put that on the plancha. And then you and it's like Italian and then they just come and they bring like raw spaghetti at your table and then you boil your own spaghetti and then you put that on the plancha and then they give you like red sauce and then they give you like a mortar and pestle to grind your own pesto at the table

and then they give you like gambas or like gambas al ajillo and then you like pop that on there and so we do like Korean barbecue all you can eat

but for every single culture and then we take the bread, bread, bread is free and then you get the free bread and that's how they fill up and that's how we win. Oh, are you talking about like, oh, I see what you're saying

like it's like you pick a package and like the package is like each country. It's like, I want New Zealand today. Yeah, yeah, lamb. Bring lamb. Yeah, and it's like, my date will have Vietnam. Yeah, yeah. And then little Billy will

have Spain but for the children. All you can eat around the world buffet. Every single nation. That was a Seinfeld episode and that restaurant failed miserably. God dang it. Well, here's the future of all you can eat buffet in Opulence. Cheers.

Hey, we got through a podcast. That was a horrible clink. Horrible clink. All right, Nicole. I've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky opinions are waddling out there in the universe. Who cares? Waddling. We call.

Opinions are like casseroles. Our opinions are like casseroles. But, Nicole, before we get to our opinions, well, it's time for everyone's favorite segment. Is it review or review? Of course it's review or review. It's also my favorite. Is it really? No.

What's your favorite segment? I like everything other than that. Oh. But we can still do it. No, now it feels like there's weird energy if you don't like it. I don't want to do something

just because I like it because it's my favorite segment. Okay, so that's okay. We can compromise. We can meet in the middle just because you like something and I...

No, read all of it. Read all of it? Yeah. All right, cool. So this one is at Bastille Alexa five stars commuting giggles. I recently transferred

to a four-year university. It's about an hour plus away from my house, so of course I need good material to listen to while I drive. Recently, SoCal has been having crazy weather. Ugh, really. So having this podcast made me feel less lonely and scared while driving in random storms. It's like I have them sitting in my car, and we're all just giggling over the different food opinions that get brought up. I also tend to create my own opinions like I'm on the show, then I relay these opinions to my boyfriend. Anyway, highly recommend this podcast.

A little like heart with the carrot and the three. Love you guys. He he he. Cute. I give that a five. It's hard not to five star that. That is. It's really cute.

It's kind of what we want from people. That's like our ideal listener. I love that you imagine us in the car. Yeah, same. Do you think I would be in the passenger seat or you would be in the passenger seat or we would both be in the back or like an Uber situation? You would offer me the passenger seat and then I'd be like, no, no, I don't want to. And then you'd try and take it. But then I'd go, oh, but like my back is kind of sore and I have really tight hips.

And so it's kind of nice. And then you'd begrudgingly give it to me. No, you know what would actually happen? No, no, you would sit in the front. And then, no, no. I would sit in the passenger and then you would lay down in the back. I get car sick

if I lay down in a car. You do? Yeah. Remember one time I took a nap in your car after a beeria festival? Did you? Such a good nap.

I drank a couple of beers. I drank a couple of beers there. I ate a lot of goat. I took such a fat nap. It was so good. I was filled with goat and beer, which is how I always want to be. First, I'd just like to say that the voicemail for this is uncomfortably sensual.

You're welcome. My name is Logan, and my favorite place to listen to the podcast is while I am cooking at my job, because I am, in fact, also a chef, and it is my favorite place to laugh about food. Secondly, my hot take is that water should never be drank with food. A meal just doesn't go with water. There's always a beverage that should be drank alongside a meal, and water will never, ever be that beverage. Interesting.

See, I was thinking of it from a perspective of when I was younger, I had a friend whose dad said don't drink and eat at the same time because it'll expand your stomach. But I don't know if that's true. But this is a different direction than I thought it was going in. This is like there are better options than water. But I think water is actually the best option. I do too.

Water is the best. I will typically not choose water. I'll probably choose a fizzy bubilech of some sort. Like, but a flavored fizzy bubilech or a plain sparkling water? Sparkling water. I have that same instinct too, that water is maybe the best thing because it's completely plain and it washes your palate a little bit but still leaves flavors

lingering there you don't have like a sharp change it'll make you enjoy it a bit more like I don't need to have another flavor like I don't need to have

like a wine pairing every day of my life but like it doesn't need to be wine like Snapple or something I don't know if I've ever had like a wine pairing

where I was like mmm you know what I mean I've never had a wine pairing period what? I've never done that you've never had a wine pairing, period. What? I've never done that. You've never had a wine pairing?

I've never gone somewhere and paid for a wine pairing. Interesting. Because I think it's a scam. I used to get a lot of like free fine dining meals when I was like making no money and in a lot of student debt, which I felt cool at the time and then realized that a financial independence is probably better than getting free stuff. Totally. Yeah, yeah. But I did a lot of like wine pairing stuff and I would play along like I understood it

and then I would be like but the wine makes the food taste first and the food makes the wine taste first I know people will call me a rube for that but I would just

yeah I'm a rube right same the way that I prefer drinking at first I was like water great you should have that

and then I remember that like beer exists and eating spicy Thai food with beer yeah come on that's fantastic or you go to Taco Chuck you get a Mexican Coke. Oh, yeah.

Bang, bang, flavor gang. That's a good time. Yeah, but I believe this person's saying everything has a better pairing than water. Think about foods at home that you're eating. You're eating spaghetti and meatballs. What's the pairing? A cherry bubbly. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe there's something better than water for every food. And treating it like a part of the meal, that's interesting. But I'm not, no, no, I'm on autopilot, though. I'm just. I think she's arguing that you shouldn't be. You know?

You shouldn't be on autopilot, Nicole. You should be actively taking control of your own destiny. I do. And enjoying your bevraginos, your bev you something? Your bevragini. I am so in control of my destiny that I allow frivolous decisions like the drinks that I pair with my food to not define my life. Damn.

I have a sore throat from laughing so much. Is the plural of bevragino bevragini? Si. Si. Si. Hi, Joshua and Nicole. My name is Eliza. I. Thank you. Yes. Thank you, Emily. Yes. Hi, Josh and Nicole. My name is Eliza.

I live in Philadelphia. I love your show. I listen to every episode. I need you to settle a debate. Gladly. My brother insists that the best way to eat hard-boiled eggs is hot. I think it's really gross, and I only eat them cold. Do you prefer your hard-boiled eggs hot or cold?

Thank you. Fascinating. I have not thought about the temperature of my hard-boiled egg in so long, but it flooded so many memories and opinions back to me. As someone who eats a lot of hard-boiled eggs. She does. I do. I love them.

They're my fixation meal right now. I don't like them hot or cold. I like them room temp. Room temperature is the correct answer. Room temperature. No, cold. Cold. I also like them hot or cold. I like them room temp. Room temperature is the correct answer. Room temperature. No, cold. I also like them because of salads. Because eggs, the ultimate ascension of a hard-boiled egg.

All hard-boiled eggs want to be egg salad eventually. No. What do you mean? Sometimes they can just exist. But why? Why would you not want it chopped up with mayonnaise and delicious little things? Because I'm not an egg salad person. You're telling me you like hard-boiled eggs but not egg salad? Correct.

What about, like, mayonnaise, like an uff mayonnaise or a deviled egg? Oh, yeah, I like deviled eggs. Well, you throw a deviled egg against a wall, that's an egg salad. But you don't like it thrown against a wall. You only eat your whole egg salad. Yeah? So smug. You are so smug right now.

You know, you were like, if you take a deviled egg and you throw it on the wall, that's an egg salad. So smug. Did you not know that? So smug. But no, I like eating it like an apple. You don't even cut it in half. No, no, I cut it in half, but then I eat it like an apple. That's how you eat apples?

You cut them in half? And he eats the yolk? When's the last time you saw me eat an apple? Yeah, why don't you eat apples? I'm eating apples all the time. 12 o'clock of never. When's the last time you saw me eat an apple? Almost a week ago.

Yeah, I did. I ate one today. I wasn't there. Just crunching into it. Hard to believe I wasn't there watching you eat an apple. I watch you all the time. I watch you all the other times. The first person I ever watched eat a hard-boiled egg, my brother.

Older brother. So I took a lot from him, right? So much John content in time. I watch you all all the other times. The first person I ever watched eat a hard-boiled egg, my brother. Older brother. So I took a lot from him, right? So much John content in this. I love it. It was a meaningful part of my life. So he would cut the hard-boiled egg in half down the middle, and then he would put a little square of cheddar cheese on it, and he would microwave it.

Great. And then he'd eat that. I would try it, and I didn't like it, but my older brother did it, so I did it. I realize hot, I don't think for me, is ever the answer for a hard-boiled egg. I think it's got—hard-boiled eggs are quite eggy. You're literally preserving all of it. Straight up egg. All the aroma, you know, in there,

and I don't think that's the most pleasant for some people. I have a pretty high eggy tolerance too. I have a very high egg tolerance as of right now, but call me in like three and a half weeks. It's going to be a problem. To me, cold mutes the flavors of the egg too much. But I also think cold firms up the proteins of the whites in a really pleasant way because I love the texture of a hard-boiled egg white. Totally. So what you're sacrificing in aroma, which one? It's egg

aroma. So it's not the best aroma in the world. I think cold is the objectively correct answer here. I had a girlfriend. We used to go to SMC, San Juan College. It was me, her, and her ex-boyfriend. He would drive us to school. And she would eat hard-boiled eggs in the car. And they were, like, from, like, a few days ago. Like, two, three days. Like, maybe two days. Or maybe the morning of.

I don't know. She would crack it. And her ex-boyfriend would say, Don't do that. Don't ever eat in my car. Don't eat your hard-boiled eggs in my car. It's disgusting. And we pulled out all the windows and make a big deal,

and they're not together anymore. But she found a man who loves hard-boiled eggs in the car. She's in a beautiful, loving relationship. And she's still eating car eggs? I don't know. I hope she is. I hope she didn't change. No, she's great, and she's in a very happy, loving relationship.

What we're saying is it doesn't matter what temperature you eat your hard-boiled eggs as. Room temp eggs. It matters that you're eating them in a car against somebody's will. You were so mad. I would be too. But I, no, I don't. You would be mad too? No, I literally talked about how I ate poo instead of confronting somebody.

So I just let it happen. But then afterwards, I'd be like, oh, it smells like eggs. One more. One more. Come on. Two eggs. One more. One more. Come on. Two more. Two more. Come on.

One more thing. I have one more thing to say about cars. Remember one time we went to Red Lobster and then I brought the Red Lobster with me? And everyone was mad because I wanted to feed Jonathan. Remember that? Jonathan? Yeah, the guy that works here. Oh, yeah.

Why did you want to feed Jonathan specifically? I said, I wrote in the Slack channel and I said hey we're at we're at red lobster i got a bunch of food who wants it he's like me oh great and then i put in the car and then we had like a 50 minute drive and everyone was so mad at me how did we end up with that red lobster gift card because you because we won something on gmm and then you said let let's get a Red Lobster gift card. Even though we could have gotten anything else. You decided on a Red Lobster gift card. You and Ryan Moody.

And me and Trevor. And then Ben came too. I thought it would be nice. You caused so many problems that day. We had a good time. Trevor pooped himself on an airplane because of you. He denies it, but we know he pooped himself. I ate the same scallops that he ate.

If I'm going to Red Lobster, one, speaking of all you can eat, Shrimp Toberfest or whatever they call it. Hell yeah, dude. I can eat so much Red Lobster shrimp. One more opinion. Come on, Jamie. Come on. Come on.

One more. I need it, Jamie. Come on. Come on. One more. I need it, Jamie. Come on. Give me some good opinions. I needed to hear your opinion because I'm ready to fight about it. Watermelon is a beverage. It's not even

a food. Fascinating. Okay. Obviously, Josh has got his stance. Fascinating. Okay. Well, obviously, Josh has got his stance. All right. Wow. Show off them ankles.

Yes. I got them Louis XIV ankles. All y'all are lucky that I'm not wearing an anklet right now otherwise it'd be way too central in this podcast arena. What do you mean by Louis?

Does that mean you have ankles of royalty? Yeah, Louis XIV. He has those like thin svelte dancers. Oh my gosh. I hate men when they talk about their features

and they compare it to royalty. I hate it. Who do you compare yourself to? Nobody. I'm one of a kind. I don't need to. What was I going to say? Watermelon is a fruit. Most fruits are like, what, 90% water anyways? Humans are like 70% water.

If a watermelon's a beverage, I'm a beverage. Yeah. And I'm a tall drinker. Drink me up. I drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake. I, what does he say? I put my straw

and I suck it up. Abandon my boy. I'm not saying I would kiss Daniel Day-Lewis, but I would kiss Daniel Day-Lewis. You've talked about how attractive you find Daniel Day-Lewis.

He's so hot. So often. Is he your number one? No. Who's your number one? Actor? Yeah. Or just anybody?

But not your husband. Huh? Yeah, I know not my husband, obviously. I don't know. Well, who's anybody? Actor? Yeah. Or just anybody? But not your husband. Huh? Yeah, I know not my husband, obviously. Okay, I don't know. Well, who's anybody? If not an actor, then whom? I think I'm going to go with actor. His name is...

Oh, wait. I have so many. Can I tell you my top two? Yeah, hit me with your top two. Idris Elba. Yeah. And then the other one is it's kind of obscure it's the lead from the artist jean de jardin he's a french actor and he's the most he's very beautiful but baby i love you david i love you ain't nobody compared to you baby

you're my number one for life we're just talking about hypotheticals you're my real thing and i love you and i would do anything for you but also eat your elbow she would do anything for you even more on that note wait is watermelon a bad no it's a it's a fruit it's like a food you chew it yeah what are you talking about here yeah you know You know? Yeah. And on that note, thank you so much for stopping by at Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got new audio-only episodes every Wednesday. Video comes out Sundays on YouTube.

And if you want to be featured on Opinions Like Casseroles, I know you do because this was absolutely riveting. 833-DOG-POD-1 is our number. Give us a call. A number again. A number again is 833-DOG-POD-1.

Was that English? That was gibberish. I feel like you spoke in Nordic rune. I do. You know? You know? Anyways, if you decided

that you like us so much that you want to take our relationship to the next level and not just be podcast friends, you can watch us on YouTube doing other things. We could be YouTube friends.

We could be video friends. We could be video friends. We could video chat. Don't offer people video chat. For a nominal fee, Josh will video chat with you. We'll see you all next time.