A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best Food At The Mall Food Court?

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

Today, Josh and Nicole dissect mall food favorites and find out which one is the best! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Get it, loser! We're going shopping! Okay, but I'm not allowed back in Hot Topic, because last time I spilled my Orange Julius on their stack of Deftones t-shirts. This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich! Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaydi. And today we are going to be ranking the top nu metal bands in the early 2000s.

Nicole, number one draft pick, who you got? I never listened to nu metal that much, but I know Korn was like the big one. Korn maybe kind of invented the genre. I just know because one time they performed Twisted Transistor Twisted Transistor on SNL and he had a really cool microphone

and I remember that specifically. Okay, so today we're talking about what's the best mall food but I think Yeah, I love the mall. Okay, do you love the mall now or did you love the mall when you were 13

and now when you go back it reminds you of when you were young? It was both. So I loved like the malls that were like untouched. You know what I mean? The malls that were old. Like the empty creepy malls? No, no, no.

The mall, no. That's how they feel now. Oh, I know what you're saying. Like the old malls where there was always an express, always a hot topic. There was a Sbarro. Spencer's gifts. I never had a Spencer's. You never had a Spencer's?

My mall never had a Spencer's. It always had a hot topic. And my had a Spencer's? My mom never had a Spencer's. It always had a Hot Topic and my mom literally hated when I walked into Hot Topic. Dude, all moms hated Hot Topic. The reason Hot Topic exists is for moms to hate it. My mom literally thought I was going to like believe in the devil pretty much when I walked into Hot Topic

because I thought I was an emo kid. Yeah, that makes sense. Was I an emo kid? And you were probably wearing like shirts. What was the band that their symbol is like upside down pentagram, but there's a heart, the heartagram. Yeah, His Eternal Majesty, Villy Flau. Don't get me, not Villy Flau. What's his name? Villy something.

I don't know. Villy Flau's Mary Kay Letourneau's husband. Oh, God, you're right. Oh, no. His name was Villy, though, the lead singer of that band. And I loved His Eternal Majesty. the lead singer of that band and I loved His Eternal Majesty

when I think of malls I get nostalgic for the same time period that you're talking about when the late night shows in SNL had new metal bands on to perform

shout out to Kitty who has a new single out this isn't an ad I'm just a big fan of them Maggie new Kitty single just dropped I know she's a fan now they performed on Conan

back in it was cool to see metal you know on mainstream TV and it was cool to walk into a mall and actually be excited and not just be like, ugh, this place is absolutely dying.

Okay. So I think we can talk about the best mall food from the peak of malls, which for us was probably 15, 20 years ago. I love mall food. And then we can talk about the best mall food now. Okay. How is your relationship to malls

different now than it used to be? Like, what do you go for the mall, what do you go to the mall for now? Why am I going to the mall? To do returns at Zara. Wait, to do returns of clothing that you bought online? Yeah, honestly. I'm not the biggest online shopper, but I do buy some things online, and they never fit my proportions properly, so I always have to return it.

But yeah, that's why I go to the mall. Or to entertain my niece and nephew. That's a good point but yeah that's why i go to the mall or to entertain my niece and nephew that's a good point what did you used to go to the mall for when you're like 13 year old emo nicole hair just singed and burnt down with the straightener it still does it's still burnt taking the top down my space photo oh my gosh i used god i had to hide my top eight drama um why did i used to go to the mall? Because my mom would drag me to the mall to go to Macy's all the time. My mom lived in Macy's and Bloomingdale's. Oh, my God. I love that.

Did you go with your- My mom had the credit card. Did you go with your friends, though? Was it like, oh, we're just going to the mall to hang out? There was one mall. It's called the Century City Mall, and that's where everyone from all the schools would go and hang out. Is that the Century City Westfield? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the mall that Paris Hilton used to like escape her home to go hang out in. Oh, really? Yeah. Me and Paris Hilton are the same in that retrospect. Like kind of. That's like peak mall culture. Yeah, it was great because it was an open mall and like there was so much to do and there was an Apple store and it was fun and like we would go to the food court and we

would always, always always always get Sbarro Sbarro was the mall food of the meal and you were excited about it

yeah it was great are you kidding me the stromboli the baked ziti dude oh my gosh also reminder like I grew up in a Persian Jewish community

we wouldn't like go and eat Panda Express because you couldn't eat the chicken because it's you know kosher stuff and like you know people would spread rumors and stuff and say, oh, they cook their blank with lard.

Oh, they cook their blank with chicken. So we were like, ew, I'm not going there. And we would just go to Sbarro because it was safe. That's so funny. When's the last time you've been to a Sbarro? Like properly been to a Sbarro. Not we ordered it for the show, but like you deliberately went there to get some strombol and big Z. I'm closing my eyes because I can't remember.

I think I was at the old Westside Pavilion with my mom before they sold it to Apple? Google? I think they sold it to Google, Maggie. Is it a campus now? Yeah, and now they sold it to UCLA. So it used to be the best mall because they had the best shopping there so my mom would always

go there, me and my mom would always go there together because my mom didn't work. She just like, you know, she just, Yeah, she was a mall rat. She was a,

my mom and I were mall rats, yeah. And we would, so we would go shopping there and then we would stand in line at the Sbarro and I remember I would always,

we would sit next to the carousel up in like the corner so I could ride the carousel and eat pizza and ride the carousel and eat pizza and ride the carousel and eat pizza. So that's my last memory when I was like 10, 11. No way. You haven't had it since. How do you think it would hold up? Oh, my God.

Because I've eaten Sbarro in the last five years. I mean, it was, I think maybe. Are you Michael Scott? No, I know. And I've never liked Sbarro. Listen, they do perfectly fine work. People seem to enjoy their pizza. I will say their stromboli is probably the best thing they have at a Sbarro.

Or the spinach. What was that white spinach pie that they had? It's a white spinach pizza, yeah. That was also really good. The pasta, I get roughly nothing good in my life from mediocre red sauce pasta. I'll go to a Little Tony's type restaurant, which is a local spot in the valley. The wettest spaghetti in all the San Fernando Valley.

But I just don't get anything out of taking spaghetti out of a vat of water and putting some red sauce on it. I'd rather have any other, I'd rather have like greasy chow mein from either Panda Express or whatever local steam table Chinese. That's what I want for cheap noodles. Yeah, yeah. But I had Sbarro at, I think it was the Cabo San Lucas Airport, maybe. Oh, I know. I think this is Sbarro.

It's like a giant food court. Oh, my God. I love that food court. They have the best Panda Express there. What do you mean they have the best Panda Express in the Cabo Airport? What makes it better than all the other Panda Expresses? It's just my favorite one. Because let me tell you, when it comes to airplane food, like going, going, like.

Airport food and mall food are very similar. I disagree with you. I disagree with you 100% because they have a lot of weird local spots that aren't really like. Oh, in airports? Yeah. They also do that at the mall. But there's something about airport food. The quality is just so diminished.

Mall food doesn't necessarily have that low of quality. But this is in the airplane food episode, so we're not going to talk about it. Okay, so mall food has gone through a bit of a renaissance. Somebody wrote a really interesting article. So when we think of mall food, I think of stuff like Panda Express and Sbarro, and there's a Charlie's cheesesteaks. Oh my gosh, Charlie's cheesesteaks. They are

again, I don't want to like poo-poo anyone's food choice. It sucks. Charlie's cheesesteaks is bad. They make the worst cheesesteak I've ever had. Really? Is it because there's lettuce in it? No, I mean that's the one that's called a cheesesteak hoagie and it's like a common thing and it's the thing that I enjoy but it's just their meat is like gray

and lifeless and the cheese never quite steams into it. The bread is very plastic. There's a great local mini, like not even that mini of a chain. It's a pretty big chain called Philly's Best. Are they in malls? No, but they should be. Instead of Charlie's?

They're all around Southern California and like they do pretty good work, especially for a chain. So it's not like I just don't like chain cheesesteak places, but man, somehow Charlie's is just in there and I find it pretty terrible. I don't think it's that horrible. But you have those old school spots, right? And then now we're seeing all these kind of fancy malls because malls are dying. And so they need, like, Westfield Century City.

Caruso-affiliated malls? Caruso-affiliated malls. Why do they have a Sprinkles in there? I don't want a Sprinkles. I want a Mrs. Fields. But that's not it. But Sprinkles is the future, right? Like, this is where we're going because now malls. Why do they have a Sprinkles in there? I don't want a Sprinkles. I want a Mrs. Fields. But that's, no, no, but Sprinkles is the future, right? Like this is where we're going

because now malls are dying so they need a reason for people to come in and so they're trying to, they have a lot more designer type stores that get a lot more tourists in there

and then they have these new restaurants like Shake Shack to me is the new paradigm of malls. Which sucks because it's good, yeah, but I want like, there's something about crappy mall food that I really like.

I agree, but they can't survive on it. And somebody wrote this really great article for Eater. I wish I could remember who it was, but they were talking about how the way that we view Shake Shack now is the way that our parents viewed Sbarro 30 years ago. Are you sure? We're like, yeah, back then, they didn't think Sbarro was crappy back then, right? They were like, cool, you can get stromboli, new thing, but like a white pizza with spinach on it. It was something probably a little bit elevated, and that was really cool, and that was probably a draw. Dippin' Dots.

The way that we view sprinkles are the way that they viewed Dippin' Dots. Could you imagine how exciting it would have been to dip a dot for the first time? Wow. The ice cream of the future, Nicole. Before we defunded NASA. I just can't. There's something so like deeply nostalgic

and whenever I say like a Mrs. Fields or Wetzel's pretzels or an Auntie Anne's. Auntie Anne's. Wait, are you an Auntie Anne's or a Wetzel's gal? I'll eat whatever pretzels

in front of me. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty loyal to Auntie Anne's. You loyal? Not loyal. I'll eat Wetzel's, but... I mean, the Wetzel dog? It's pretty damn good. The Wetzel dog's pretty good. Auntie Anne's, though, if I'm going pretzels, I probably want to go sweet for some reason. Cinnamon sugar? Yeah.

They have like an almond delight crunch one, too. Really? Yeah. Okay, that sounds really good. But there's something about these... It's like the nostalgic signage and like the Cinnabon of it all. Like, I don't know what it is. Like when you smell a Cinnabon in a mall, you know that you're going to get a 50% off clearance at Cotton On. You know what I'm talking about?

No, but I do know about cinnamon rolls. I don't know what Cotton On is. You've never been to Cotton On before? No, I see the signs, but I don't look inside. They're always on clearance. What is it? Do they sell clothes? Yeah, it's so fast fashion.

It's ridiculous. Most of the stores and malls aren't for me, and that's okay. Why do you mean? I don't know. Somebody in there, but I just don't know what they do. I don't know if they have men's clothes. You're not a fan of sales? No, I did go to a jewelry store in the mall once to maybe look at an engagement ring,

but then it was way more expensive and worse quality than the other stuff. Yeah. But they were like, well, local family owns. And I was like, I don't know. This one has an app, and I can just click what diamonds I want. Something like that. Van store. I go in the van store.

Journeys? What's Journeys? That's another store. What do they sell? Shoes. You've never been to Journeys before? They sell men's shoes? Oh, my gosh.

Journeys is so your store. Really? Yeah. Like, actually, I walked into a Steve Madden. before? Do they sell men's shoes? Oh my gosh, Journeys is so your store. Really? Yeah. Like actually, I walked into a Steve Madden. Wait, do they make men's? No, Aldo. Aldo makes men's. Steve Madden doesn't make men's shoes.

I don't think so. Okay, well I walked into an Aldo and I got uncomfortable and I left. I'm really uncomfortable in malls. Really? Yeah. Josh, we've gone shopping together, me, you, and Trevor. Yeah, I bought jewelry for Julia. And you bought a suit and a belt.

Remember, we went to the Nordstrom Rack. You don't remember this? Nordstrom Rack wasn't in a mall, though. Oh, what do you consider the Burbank Empire Center? Oh, this is a great distinction. So when we're talking about best mall food, we're not talking about best strip mall food because that's very different. That's very different because the best strip mall food is always a random Asian restaurant. Correct. Yeah. It'll just be like a random pho restaurant

that also has like a Korean barbecue. Yeah. That's what you want. That's what you want in a strip mall. That's right. No, but like that's different than actual mall food. Sure, sure, sure. Whole food, sure, sure, sure. Okay, so if we're going to the mall today, say we have... What are we doing at the mall? I was going to say say we have like a two-hour lunch break. Are we going to go shopping? That's the pipe dream. Yeah, but say we did that.

Like what would we do? What would our itinerary be? What stores would we go to? More importantly... What mall are we going to? It depends. Okay, let's start with our local one. Let's start with the Burbank Mall.

I don't like that mall because it has a Burlington Coat Factory and you can never find anything good there. You don't like the mall because it has a store? You don't have to go into the Burlington Coat Factory. They're not forcing you to go into the Burlington Coat Factory. But it takes up so much space. Okay. That could have been like a Macy's or a Bloomingdale's.

Yeah, but you can still just avoid it. You can still just not go so much space. Okay. That could have been like a Macy's or a Bloomingdale's. Yeah, but you can still just avoid it. You can still just not go in that space. No, no, but it's not a mall where I can thrive. Okay. No, I get that. But okay, well, it's just the closest one. It's not a mall that I can shop in comfortably because it's just not for me. Well, it's perfect because if we're looking at this podcast as utility for people to make the best, most efficacious food on what to eat in the mall.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Then let's look at a mall that you maybe don't like going to. Okay, fine. So we're going to the Burbank Mall. Okay, we're going to go to the Burbank Mall. You're going to walk by the video game store probably and see if they have a new Diablo or a new skin or something for Fortnite.

I don't play Fortnite. I don't know what you kids do. I literally played one video. Sorry, David plays Fortnite. And then we're going to go and then we're going to go see the random shoe cobbler that's there. Because I dropped off your shoes two weeks ago. Stop by the Army Recruitment Center that's next to the arcade.

Exactly. Go to the arcade. And then we're going to walk past Sears. And then we're going to see if there's a Fashion Nova. We're just going to walk by the Fashion Nova to see what's in vogue. But we're not going to shop there. And then we're going to go to we're going to walk towards the food court. And then we're going to go to,

we're going to walk towards the food court, and then we're going to see some really great options. I am going to go towards my one true love, which is the Mongolian noodle spot. Yes. I'm so glad you're bringing up Mongolian barbecue at the freaking mall. Mongolian noodle barbecue, where you self

serve yourself frozen meat. You pour it in a bowl. You put vegetables on top. So unsanitary. The cross contamination is abhorrent there. They give you the bowl and then they say what kind of sauces you want. They put whatever sauces and then on this

huge, like, what is it? It's not metal. It's like stone. A huge black stone the size of this huge, like, what is it? Like, it's not metal. It's like stone, a huge black stone the size of this table. Yeah, in the center. Hot. In a panopticon. It is hot. And the man has long chopsticks.

He pours all your stuff on. He pours the noodles on. The noodles are beautiful. The color of the noodles is something that you can only dream of. It's like technicolor. Dark orange. They're like this technicolor color that's so unnatural that I love so much. They mix it all up.

It steams. There's no flames, but there's a lot of steam and there's drama and he's using these long chops. And then he takes it all and pours it into a styrofoam clamshell container, wraps it up in a bag. There's so much heat.

There's so much heat. It has a 99% chance of leaking all over the bag but you don't care the napkins get wet they give you chopsticks and a fork because they know that you're a busy woman you go you sit down and you eat it and it's the best damn food at the mall have you ever eaten mongolian barbecue outside of a mall neither i've never come close why no there was one time i almost did where it was a chinese buffet all you can eat with a mongolian barbecue station in santa barbara and i was hung over and i went there and i stood by the mongolian barbecue station i filled up my bowl with all the frozen meats and nobody came and i just left the bowl and walked out but i've never had it i know

but that said like that is a unique mall experience. We're so lucky to be alive during a time where this is an experience we can enjoy. I thank God that we missed the atomic bomb, but we made Mongolian barbecue next to a hot topic. You know what I mean? No, I know exactly what you mean. I love it. There's the drama of it all. The fact that it's like, it's flash frozen, but in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's fresh. They're cooking it fresh in front of me. Sure. And they are. But they, but they're

also cooking all the other food, like pretty fresh too. You know what I mean? I don't know if there's anything fresh about a Wetzel pretzel. Really? Actually, no, they're making the dough fresh. You're right. That is so. You can see the raw dough. I have literally gone for GMM to go get Wetzel's pretzels. And the lady said, you need to wait 35 minutes while my dough proofs. And I said, yes, ma'am. I will say that's a pretty inefficient model for pretzels. But it's pretty— It's not a food that you wait for.

But it's delicious and hot. It's not like ordering the chocolate souffle at a fine dining restaurant, you know? Like, oh, please allow 30 minutes. But I must say, my favorite right now in 2024 as a 30-year-old woman, Mongolian barbecue with the noodles, man. Sometimes I don't get the noodles. Sometimes I just do the stir-fry situation, and it's really good. You get meat, veg, perfect.

That was my favorite thing at the mall, the Laguna Hills Mall that I grew up going to. Never been. You don't need to go. I haven't been back in probably 15 years. I also used to go to the Irvine Spectrum if anybody remembers the Irvine Spectrum. Shout out, Maggie.

Real 949ers over here. Let's look really quick. I also used to go to the Irvine Spectrum, if anybody remembers Irvine Spectrum. Shout out, Maggie. Nope. Real 949ers over here. Okay, let's look really quick. Burbank Mall. Okay. Here are the entire food options. So you got the food court stuff. So you got stuff like Charlie's is in there.

There's an El Pollo Loco. He says that with so much to say. They have a Charlie's. Dairy Queen, which I would like never really get a full meal from Dairy Queen. I love me a nice blizzard. I love me a dipped cone. But what Dairy Queen did that saved all of mall culture is they bought out Orange Julius. Yeah. And it's like Dairy Queen is like, it's like the snack station. Like that's what they call it, right? It's not like an actual DQ. Well, no, I believe this is a grill and chill.

Grill and chill. That's what they call it. Yeah. So you can get the chicken tenders with gravy. That's their other unique contribution outside of the sweet world. Mongolian grill. Love you. I love you. Mongolian grill, I love you. There is a Mrs. Fields. Love Mrs. Fields.

There is, here is, okay, so Julia. Do they have a See's Candies? Yes, but that doesn't, I mean, you go and get a free sample, right? Oh my God, were you a free sample kid at Sea's? Oh, was I a free sample? If you know anything about my childhood, you know I was a free sample kid at Sea's. And then the best is you would like ruminate over it like you were thinking about buying it. You're like, hmm, let's see.

How much is the Bordeaux and how much is the Scotchmallow? The Bordeaux. I was a Scotchmallow girl. Oh, my God. It was just, it was literal caramel and marshmallows. For people that don't know See's Candy, I mean, it started in Southern California. But they mail it all over the world. Some of the best candy, some of the best chocolate ever.

I just, buttercream surrounded by a chocolate shell is one of my favorite things in the world. The bonbons, all of their Technicolor bonbons. Oh, my God. Oh, they're such good brands. I love them all. I love them all. Okay, so there's a panda. Obviously, their Technicolor bonbons. Oh, my God. I love them all. I love them all. Okay, so there's a panda. Obviously, there's a Mrs. Fields.

This is a unique thing that Julia grew up eating. Our Julia? Well, my Julia. Our Julia. Yeah, our Julia. Sure. No, she is not owned by anybody. She's her own person.

She's simply Julia's Julia. Anyways, there's always some sort of like teriyaki adjacent place julia simply calls it mall chicken oh sometimes it's called bourbon chicken the toothpick people okay sometimes it's some sort of grilled chicken with sweet sauce my dad dated one of the toothpick women oh cute she was very sweet and she used to bring over just pounds of mall chicken and they had a couple kinds. They had one called bourbon chicken that was indistinguishable from teriyaki chicken. Never heard of bourbon chicken before.

No, it's like not a thing, and I don't know where it came from. It was like I think called like Fat Tuesdays or something, but it was definitely Japanese-owned. And so I think they flipped their teriyaki rice. I don't know. Bourbon chicken, they had another one called honey mustard chicken that was just sugar and mayonnaise on hot chicken. But the toothpick mall chicken, to me, that's a unique mall experience that I love. Me too. Me too.

Just sugar chicken. I know. But then – but there was something about it where my mom would just say, let's just get Panda Express because at least we know what we're getting at Panda. You know what I mean? Interesting. Yeah. My sister's a huge – Pretty lateral move.

I will say that. Yeah, yeah. My sister's a huge Panda Express – like she's a biggest that. Yeah, yeah. My sister's a huge Panda Express. Like, she's a biggest fan. Anytime we go to the mall, she's like, we're getting Panda. I'm like, oh, there's a Rubio's or, like, there's, like, a cheesesteak place. She's like, we're getting Panda. She's like, it's clean and it's consistent, and no matter where you go in the world, Panda's Panda.

She's correct. Yeah. Panda Express really does a good job. They help it out. So is the other restaurant that you mentioned, Rubio's. I love Rubio's. Formerly Rubio's Fish Tacos, currently Rubio other restaurant that you mentioned Rubio's I love Rubio's formerly Rubio's Fish Tacos

currently Rubio's Coastal Grill Rubio's does good work started in San Diego I believe from a San Diego state alum whose family is from Baja and they make great fish tacos

for a large chain they make great everything every time I go to the Citadel outlets I know an outlet isn't a mall isn't a strip mall but the outlet

Rubio's, fire. No matter what, their bowls are great, their salads are great. I feel like I'm doing an ad for Rubio's. I just really love Rubio's. Okay, the last option here at the Burbank Mall, which is a pretty average mall, Panini Kebab Grill. And now this isn't just Panini Kebab Grill, because I go to the Sherman Oaks Mall too, and I go to Masi's Kebab. I like Panini more than Masi's I think Masi's does a really good kubide but that is my typical

if I'm going to the mall especially to buy clothing I don't want to be like super bloaty I don't want to eat like 1500 calories worth of orange chicken and chow mein I do generally elsewhere in life but if I want like hey I just need something to fill me up I want to be kind of responsible here

I'll get a chicken kubideh wrap, you know, eat it, nice grilled meats, vegetables. That to me is like sustainable mall food. Do you know what I don't like? I hate it whenever there's fast food restaurants in the mall. Oh, like just a Carl's Jr.? Yeah, when I see like a

McDonald's. Shake Shack kind of like is the line between fast cash and like fast food. You okay? Yeah, I had to stretch my back. It felt really nice. I thought you... You hear a crack? Yeah, I also saw your face. That was my cervix.

I saw you. You don't have one, do you? Coccyx. That's here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's a cervix? You confused cervix with... Why does my cervix hurt? Josh, women have cervixes. Well, okay, that seems pretty gender essentialist there, but go on.

But in my head the best is you said cervix, but it's a big con because you thought... The lower narrow end of the uterus. It's because you thought vagina and con. What is a womb? Let's go back. Let's go way back. You know what I hate, Josh? If we could turn back time Let's go way back. You know what I hate, Josh?

If we could turn back time to the good old days. What were you saying? Josh, you know what I hate? Yeah. Whenever I'm at the mall and there's like a fast food joint. Like if there's a McDonald's in the mall, I'm like, why? Yeah, get out of here, Ronald. I don't want it.

It's a beastly anachronism. I don't like it. What is it? A beastly anachronism. I think it might be a Shakespearean reference. Anachronism. It means it's not of the time and place, right? Anachronistic.

Anna meaning like not, cron time. It's just like it doesn't deserve to be there. Yeah, I agree. Like I would love to see a mom and pop shop. Yeah, I agree with that. I gots a question. I gots an answer. I gots a question. So I'm looking at the list of all the restaurants in the Burbank mall they also got stuff like across the border which is like a

chain mexican restaurant california pizza kitchen cbk cbk they have a zono sushi which is a local valley spot so there's like all the they're full service restaurants but they're like not quite enough to stand outside of a mall. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, I need to be attached. I actually used to work at a sushi mall kiosk thing in Torrance for about four months.

And let me tell you what a wonderful array of people you meet at the mall. It's such a trip. It was and it was so difficult just with the demand, like making sushi at the mall. It's such a trip. It was so, and it was so difficult just with the demand. Like, making sushi at the mall, very hard job. Yeah,

I bet. Tip, tip your sushi chefs at the mall because you never know what kind of battle they're facing. They're making sushi

at the mall. It was really crazy. I, this flooded a memory back into my cerebellum that I did not expect to have. Going to the Laguna Hills Mall, they had an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet called Onami. Okay. Looking back, I feel like it was 15,000 square feet.

This was just gigantic. And it would cost like you would pay $17.99 at lunch for it. And me and my buddies, when we were 12 years old, we'd scrape up all the money we saved from doing little odd jobs. And we would go to Onami. Nice. And we'd eat ourselves silly on just the most frozen, food-dyed, what's the gas? The carbon monoxide-tainted tuna that they used to make it pinker. Sure.

And just guzzle that down. And that was a great time. And also a restaurant that could only exist inside of pinker. Sure. And just guzzle that down. And that was a great time. And also a restaurant that could only exist inside of a mall. Sure, yeah. Currently, similar experience, I go to the Kura Revolving Sushi Bar. In the mall? In Sherman Oaks Mall.

That is our... It's in the mall? So I live, but don't find out where I live, but it's walking distance. I walk a lot. I can walk far. I go on a lot of hot girl walks now, right? Trying to get some low impact cardio. And can walk far. I go on a lot of hot girl walks now, right? Trying to get some

low impact cardio. And I'll often just like walk in a large loop that I end up at the Sherman Oaks Mall. Yeah. And then sometimes like Julie will meet me there

and we'll go to Kura Revolving Sushi Bar. Is she also doing returns at Zara? For dinner. She does do a lot of returns, yes. Okay, great. Yes, not necessarily at Zara.

There's a new thing that's happening that I really hate. What? What is it? Tell me. Big, full-service, fancy, fine dining restaurants tucked inside of malls that are gross and weird.

Yeah. What was that? I went to a restaurant. It's called Engler. Is it closed now? It's closed now. It was just in the mall. It reminds me of Vegas, right?

Yeah. Where you go to Vegas and you're in these giant monolithic casinos and everything's indoors. And there's this restaurant that you've heard all these great things about, but it's just inside a casino and you can't see the sun. And that's what this angler inside of a mall, the chef is like a three Michelin star chef and food is very interesting. But it was just gross because you're just in a mall and I didn't like that. And you couldn't like detach yourself

from like being like parking at the Beverly Center. Could not detach myself from it. I'm sorry. I don't have opinions because I don't find dying at the mall. Yeah.

You shouldn't. I'd rather just go to Fatburger. All right. Number one mall food of all time. What's the best food you've ever eaten at a mall? And like the most functional. Like when you think of the quintessence of mall

food, what is it? It's gotta be hot dog on a stick. Hot dog on a stick, baby! You get the pepper jack. It's so crazy. I love hot dog on a stick. The colors. It's like, what is it called whenever a bird likes shiny things?

A magpie? Is that what magpies do? Is that what magpies do? I don't know enough about the life of magpies. Well, it's what I'm gonna do. It's like, what is it called whenever a bird likes shiny things? A magpie? Is that what magpies do? Is that what magpies do? I don't know enough about the life of magpies. Well, it's what I'm going to do. It's when I see it, it's just like something goes off in my head. I'm like, primary colors, primary colors. And it's just so great. It's not my, I don't get it all the time, but if I see it, I want it.

I get it. And I enjoy it. That's my answer. I like, what's the Brazilian barbecue restaurant inside the Century City Mall? Oh, my God. This is not a universal experience for most people. Listen, I love a lot of mall food out there. I love Brazilian food.

Any Middle Eastern spot inside the mall is my official answer. Get yourself some grilled meats and vegetables and spicy, delicious, fragrant sauces. That's what I want in the mall. But when I go to the Westfield Century City, God. Oh, my God. Lavaca. Yeah. Lavaca.

You self-serve from a buffet and you pay by weight. It's so good. And then you just point at the meat and ask them what you want. I love it. And you can get just a lovely, healthy, spicy, delicious meal. They have those bocchino peppers. Yeah, I love. Oh, and I get a guarana soda.

Let me tell you, I also will say honorable. Okay, so my standings are Mongolian barbecue, hot dog on a stick, Brazilian barbecue. I just love barbecue. I got like that one La Vaca Brazilian barbecue spot. I got any sort of Middle Eastern kebab spot.

Shout out to Masis. And then I got, what's my third? I don't know. What's your third? Is it Mongolian as well? No, I feel like Mongolian. I'm happy to leave it

as a moment in time for my childhood. Oh, mall chicken. Mall chicken. Anywhere that has bourbon chicken, some sort of teriyaki, universally mall chicken. That's my answer. Oh, and Dippin' Dots, of course. I still think they're the ice cream of the future. Hey, let's just go to the mall.

What are you doing? All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casserole! Opinions are like casserole! I'm from Boise. I'm sitting here watching Chopped, and I think Josh would be really good at Chopped. Josh, would you go on Chopped? Josh, you should go on Chopped.

And also, you should try Log Cabin Maple Syrup on Rice Krispies. Yes. I tried that one night, and oh my God, it's so good. Sounds like Trevor. I used to put honey on my Rice Krispies. Now I put Log Cabin. Interesting. Okay.

Bye. Doesn't he have like a similar cadence to Trevor where he says, oh my God? There's a similar way he said, oh my God. Wait. Is that a Boise accent? I don't know. I don't know. But it sounded like Trevor where he says, oh my God.

Because I think you and I have similar things with vocal fry and up talk, which would belie our Southern California upbringing. Sure. Sure. So certainly. Certainly. Certain accenture. Okay. Belies Boise upbringing. Chopped. Chopped. I feel like I would crush. So certainly, certainly. Certain Accenture. Okay.

Belies Boise upbringing. Chopped. Chopped. I feel like I would crush. I feel like I would crush on Chopped. I think you should go on Chopped. I asked you like four years ago if you'd ever go on Chopped

and you know what you said to me? You said, tell me one chef you remember that was on Chopped. Oh, I did say that. And I said, I can't. No, no, this is when people argue that,

okay, this is, let's get into the weeds a little bit. This is when people are like, hey, I think going on Chopped would be a good career opportunity for you it would not be it would not like it would be it'd be cool it'd be cool i'd like to do it it'd be a fun thing but that's what it would actually be is a fun thing but i would take like several days out of my life to the shoot in new york i would travel to new york i would have to go on casting calls with people and frankly like we reach a lot of viewers with what we currently do.

So it'd be almost like the opportunity cost of going on Chopped would mean like kind of fewer people seeing you. Network TV is not pulling numbers these days. We get like a lot, we get a lot of views. We don't get the most views on YouTube for anybody. I kind of get a lot of views on YouTube. So it'd be a thing that I would do for fun and passion. Again, I'm a huge fan of the show. I love the show. Paradigmatic for the entire food ecosystem.

But yeah, it would take a lot. I don't think you should be a contestant on Chopped. I think you should be a host on Chopped. Oh my God. Imagine me sitting

next to Manit Chauhan and Scott Conant. Man, come on. I'd love that. I think you'd be a great judge. I also think you'd be a great judge. I also think you'd be a good contestant. But again, the juice is not worth the squeeze for being a contestant for you.

Yeah. And even like winning $10,000 would be great. It's like, oh, after taxes, you know. Maple syrup on rice krispies. Oh, my God. So good. I think that sounds really good. I generally prefer the flavor of honey over

maple in most cases though. Really? Yeah. Why? I don't know. That's so weird. Is it weird? I mean they're kind of just You're so weird. It's not that weird. It's like a binary. I think honey is consumed way more than maple. Maple in fact is such an ultra specific flavor. Could you imagine like explaining

to somebody in a foreign country going to Thailand and be like, yeah, we got this one tree and it bleeds and we stab it and then we drink its juice. Yeah, they probably have

a tree that does that as well. Yeah, probably. But honey is like a universal thousands of years old thing. Honey is in the Bible, man. Is it? That's manna.

You're thinking of manna. No, no, no. So I'm thinking of the line milk and honey. Oh, the land of? of the line milk and honey. Oh, the land of? The land of milk and honey. But I believe milk actually refers to fig, the fig sap.

That's what milk meant? Yeah, that's what one person told me, that that referred to the milk of a fig, and then honey referred to Ceylon or date syrup. Interesting. I don't know if that's true at all. Somebody told me that, and I have not thought to fact check it. But, so I don't know. Anyways, I kind of just prefer honey, but I'm glad that you found something. I would do honey and flaky salt on a Rice Krispie.

Next opinion. Hello, Mythical Josh and Nicole. Hi. I discovered a money-saving food hack. If you have some freezer-burnt meat that you would otherwise throw away. No matter what the cut is

or what type of meat it is, adjust your broth accordingly and just make a stew. Just cook the meat to death and any textural changes from the freezer-burntness won't show up. Works great and you don't have to throw away meat you spent money on. Correct.

Smart. Very good. Smart, smart, smart. The hack. The hack to end all hacks. That's a hack for vegetables that have gone super limp and rotten. The biggest money-saving hack in any kitchen is just make a stew. So true.

Out of anything. You can save any single thing. Dead herbs. Water, seasoning, and anything that's about to die. Just, yeah. Yeah, the world was built on soups and stews because it can hide a lot. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you're so right. Old meat. I mean, don't play with old meat. You know what I mean? Old and freezer burn are two different things. Also, we've talked about this, right? Where I was convinced that steaming vegetables

wasn't actually that much better for you than boiling and then I looked up the data oh you did and they really retain so much more moisture when you steam them

sorry so many more nutrients steaming versus boiling really steaming versus damn near any other technique wow yeah so I was kind of shocked there was a study

that came out of China in god it was like really the mid-2000s. But that's absolutely true. But the difference is if you boil the vegetables and then consume the liquid, which is to say you make a soup, you're getting all the nutrients.

So you're really preserving a lot of nutrients too. But what if you eat it raw? That's the best way, right? Okay, raw is probably the best way. Steaming, I don't think, was that much farther away from raw dude there's like there's something about it there was something back in the day when people were doing like raw vegan and there's like it couldn't get to a certain temperature what was

that 38 degrees or something yeah yeah the raw vegan thing and there is i believe some nutritional breakdown at high temperatures but it typically has to be at that high temperature for a very long time which i guess soups could be. But that nutrient loss wasn't nearly as drastic as pouring off the liquid. You know what I mean? So interesting. And then also, humans were only able to evolve because we learned how to cook food.

I agree with that. If we spent all of our days just chewing through raw meat and sinew or chewing grassy leaves, think about spinach, right? Yeah. Think about how much more spinach you can consume when it's cooked versus raw. So much more. And how much less time it takes. So much more.

Right? And so that's, you know, raw vegans, if you're happy and feel good, keep doing what you're doing. But yeah, man, soups, proteins, all the nutrients. Cooking made us more human. Delicious, yeah. Literally smaller stomachs, bigger brains. Isn't that so great?

It's great, man. To cook is to be human. We are also a part of that progression. Yeah. Mythical kitchen. We are. We're trying to make the stomachs smaller and the brains bigger. You know what's funny, though? I think that cooking may have also led to the introduction of cancer into the human gene pool.

Well. You know the whole thing about charred meat? Yeah, carcinogens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's eating fire. But it tastes so good. Ooh, I do love me some barbecue hi josh and nicole hi my name is nora i love your podcast my controversial food opinion is that the only way to eat a marshmallow is burnt the outside has to be perfectly crispy and charcoaly and the inside has to be

ooey gooey and that's the perfect and only suitable way to eat a marshmallow. That's it. Love your podcast. Bye. Speaking of carcinogens. Oh, def. Definitely. That is just burnt sugar. I know and I love it.

How do you roast a marshmallow? Have we never talked about how to roast a marshmallow? I love roasting marshmallows. What's your technique? Well, I burn the ever-living crap out of it. When you say burn, do you? Black, black. You light it on fire.

Black, black, black. You light it on fire and blow it out. But my husband, you know, being the perfectionist he is, he literally just like, he just twirls it like a rotisserie and makes sure that it's golden brown, like golden brown, like the perfect tan person on a beach. And then he, and then he does this. Like a 65 year old Italian American on the Jersey shore. He pulls it out and then he dips it in the fire, pulls out, eats it. While it's on fire.

Yeah. No, no, no. He blows it out. Like a party trick, no, no. He blows it out. Like a party trick. No, no. He blows it out. Takes Bacardi 151 and goes. But he does all that work

and then he just does it like really, really hot and then eats it. Well, when you light a marshmallow on fire and I'm curious because they said ooey gooey all throughout.

When you light a marshmallow on fire, it's not cooking the center, right? You're getting like a medium like a medium rare Chateaubriand. I like when my center I like when there still is a little bit of shape to my mallow on the stick. But you eat the whole thing. You don't, because I remove the skin and then I eat the skin and then I torch it again.

But then I was a little bit more mature. I like matured. I don't believe in pleasure delaying. I want it all now. I will say the best way to eat a marshmallow, though, is just raw. No. Because you lose the texture. The point of a marshmallow is the fun texture.

Like a cat, I'm attracted to novel textures. You keep saying that. It's my favorite thing to say. It's your favorite combination of words to say recently. Yeah, it's good. Cat, did you know that cats love novel textures? It's like a stock epithet, like Aegis bearing Zeus. Sometimes I think nobody has any idea what I'm talking about.

I know what that means. Aegis bearing Zeus is what they say like in like, like when they, yeah, I know what it means. I know what it means. It's a set of adjectives. Not everybody knows what it means. Novel texture enjoying cats. Yeah, the brown fox jumped over the brown, orange dog.

What is that? That has nothing to do with anything. That's the quick brown fox. Yeah, that's also text. What is that? That has nothing to do with anything. That's the quick brown fox. What? What are you talking about? A stock epithet is like a set descriptor of a character. As in like novel texture enjoying Josh.

Or wet food enjoying Josh. Aegis bearing Zeus. Oh, I thought it was. Zeus is depicted with a shield. I'm depicted enjoying novel textures and wet foods. Oh, I thought you were just saying like it's just stock. Like somebody just wrote it and put it in. No.

Oh. But the sentence that you just described is the sentence that uses all of the letters of the alphabet. Yeah. All right, next opinion. Hi, this is Lindsay from northern Wisconsin. My opinion, I guess you could kind of call it a food crime as well, is I put the end of the bag of tortilla chips where it's all crumbly and everything like that, dump it in a bowl, add like the cheap star queso, and then eat it in the microwave for at least a minute. So the queso kind of soaks up into those tortilla chip crumbs, and it almost is like a poor man's chili quiles,

I guess you would call it. Kind of gets that same vibe. Yeah, it's delicious. And it used up the last little tortilla chip. Love the podcast. Thanks, guys. Bye. This isn't a food crime.

What's the opposite of a crime? Like a deed. This is a food deed. This is a food deed. I would totally, totally eat this. Well, one, I just want to say I love regional accents, and I think you have a beautiful accent. I love the way you say bag in Wisconsin.

But what is it? Wisconsin is a drinking state that has a cheese problem or something? Yeah. What do you do with the chips at the end of the bag, the crumbs? I lick my two fingers, and I go in there and then i finish and then what else do you never and then you i generally don't i'm not the biggest like queso fan it's kind of one of those foods that people would assume that i really love and i i don't know i'd probably rather just have have salsa. I like salsa more than queso too because sometimes too much cheese, it makes me kind of want to vomit. I love cheese though.

You do have digestion issues. It's gotten so much better though. I guess I don't even – I'm not the biggest cheese guy. I haven't been as farty because I stopped eating so much cheese. That's huge. No, I've noticed actually. It's actually been really a boon to morale for everybody. cheese. That's huge. No, I've noticed, actually.

It's actually been really a boon to morale for everybody. I love taking the end of the chips, and I pour them into the bowl of salsa, and then I eat that almost as a gazpacho with a crunchy garnish. So, I see you, and go Badgers. Go Green Bay Packers. Go Pack Go. Go Pack Go. I love the Packers.

Francis McDormand from Fargo right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah yeah Those Packers You think Jordan Love's got what it takes To actually go deep in the playoffs? You know He's you know being a rookie I think that Yeah three years ago being a rookie

Yeah He did I think he shows a lot of promise He sure does I mean it's a shame that he had that injury Recently Yeah you know everyone's a shame that he had that injury recently. Yeah, you know, everyone's a little banged up all the time in football. I have a

lot of high hopes for his position as a quarterback. Yeah, as a quarterback! As a quarterback, especially with Aaron Rodgers leaving and going to the Jets. Go, Nicole, go! I think that he will show a lot of promise and hopefully hold up the legacy of the

Packers to eventually beat out the rest of the people on the... In the division, which is? In the... In the NFC. North? NFC? NFC North.

NFC North. East? No, no, you just had to saw the North. And then I think when you get Christian goes. NFC North. East? No, no. You just had to saw the North. And then I think when you get Christian Watson back, somebody that can really stretch the field. You got Romeo Dobbs. He's proved a really, really fantastic possession. See, Dontavion Wicks, I think, really came through in the slot last year.

Aaron Jones, I mean, just what a talent. I mean, with Cooper Cupp doing his thing, it's been quite a showing. And, and, and, the Packers' best lineman, Persian. Oh my God. David Bakhtiari. Bakhtiari. He's been hurt. I knew it.

I knew Bakhtiari. He's been hurt for like three years. It's actually really sad. I hope he can get healthy at some point and really resume his career. Thank you so much for stopping by the Mythical Kitchen. We got new episodes of this podcast on Sundays. The video comes out on Sundays. The audio, do you not know when this podcast on Sundays. The video comes out on Sundays. The audio, do you not know when our podcast comes out?

The audio comes out on Wednesdays? Yeah, definitely, man. It's been that way for four years. No one has it. I guess I always read this part and you never read this part. Yeah, no. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Castrols, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1.

Is that what I sound like? I'm Nicole. I sound like a Muppet. 833-DOGPOD1. Is that what I said? I'm Nicole. I sound like a Muppet. For more Mythical Kitchen,

check us out on our other videos. We launch new episodes every week. Watch Last Meals. It's the best show on the internet. I also think Myth Munchers is also probably like the 14th best on the internet. It's top 17 for sure. And then that Sabotage one. That's like... It's good.. Top 17. And then that sabotage one? That's like...

It's good. I still like Fancy Fast Food. Fancy Fast Food. Great show. We'll see you next time.