A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What’s the Best Hangover Food?
Episode Date: January 18, 2023Today, Josh and Nicole are talking about the best food to deal with those tough hangovers. Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@ahotd...ogisasandwich This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at http://betterhelp.com/HOTDOG and get on your way to being your best self. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This, this, this, this is Mythical.
New year, new you, except you're still dealing with the same old hangover.
I'm drunk right now!
For legal purposes, she's not.
I'm drunk!
This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
Yeah, that's right.
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?
That makes no sense.
A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
What?
Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich,
the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates.
I'm your host, Josh Ayer.
And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati.
And to be clear, Nicole, you are not currently drunk.
No, I'm not, but I'm so good at faking it.
Do you have to fake being drunk often?
No, no, no, no, I don't.
I never have to fake it.
You have to say you are.
But I'm good at it.
You are really bad at faking sober when you are drunk.
I know that for a fact.
Talking back to the streamies night.
Oh, stop.
I was completely there.
You were like a human bobblehead doll.
Oh, thank you.
Those are so cute.
Have you heard the expression, like, the boxer is out on his feet, meaning he is physically unconscious, but still somehow in a fight stance?
I was not unconscious.
I was not unconscious.
You were very respectfully drunk. I was not unconscious. I was not unconscious. No, you weren't.
You were very respectfully drunk.
We were merrymaking.
Yes, we were going,
hee-hee, ha-ha.
And for all of our listeners under 21,
alcohol is sin,
and you should never do it.
And if you do decide to partake once you're 21,
do it responsibly.
Maggie, does that cover all of your bases?
Covers it.
Covers it.
All right, sounds good.
Nicole, it's a new year.
You know, I don't know about you.
I'm somebody who on New Year's's I like to celebrate with my friends.
That's nice.
Maybe have one or two glasses of champagne.
My anniversary.
It's what?
It's my anniversary.
New Year's is my anniversary.
Do you want to make this whole podcast about your anniversary?
Happy anniversary, David.
I love you.
I know you're listening.
Which anniversary is your favorite of Nicole and Dave?
It's mine's third.
Mine's your third anniversary.
This is one of three, yes.
But we're talking about hangover food right now
because you're waking up on New Year's Day.
You're all hungover. You're probably going to be dealing
with this problem for a while.
You know? How do you cure it?
Nicole, what's your go-to? Okay.
Like actual food or
food that I need to help me
be alive? Well, because
that's a big question, right?
Everybody talks about the greasy food thing with hangovers.
No.
But you don't do that.
My favorite, the one I have to do.
I have to do this. I wake up in the middle of the night.
I do too.
And I open a soda, either a Coke or Sprite.
I drink 45% of it.
I put it back.
I wash out my mouth with water.
Go back to bed. I wake up at like
8 and I have
a saltine cracker
and then like a glass of
Pedialyte. And that's my
hangover cure. So I'm
not dead. But my favorite hangover food? Breakfast
burrito. That sounds like the last meal
of a serial killer.
45% of a Coca-Cola, a saltine cracker.
It's a Pedialyte.
I need it.
How often do you actually do that in real life?
No BSing.
No futs in here, Nicole.
I don't always have Pedialyte at home.
Yeah.
But I have Gatorade.
It's the same thing. So I do that.
The waking up in the middle of the night for a soft drink.
Every single time I fuck over.
Every single time.
But the saltine and yeah, you just got to eat bland foods.
Yeah.
You think you don't want the spicy food.
You don't want the excitable food.
I will be.
If I do that, I will be sick.
Yeah.
Yeah. But like either like a dry toast with a side of honey.
So like my stomach doesn't get too upset or like or like a salting
cracker or like some sort of like rigid dry bread with like a liquid that will add danish rye yeah
or like a liquid that will add sustenance to my life that's my hangover cure but when it comes
to hangover foods whenever i'm like i'm over that hump of like initial like grogginess and like wanting to die, definitely breakfast burritos.
So you're talking about like the difference between quality of life care and palliative care, right?
Palliative?
Is that right?
Palliative care is like actually.
I don't know what palliative care means.
Someone may give you Google palliative care.
I think it means like to actually cure something as opposed to quality of life care, which is like I'm trying to make you happy and what you have is incurable.
Palliative care.
Optimize.
No, no, no.
Palliative care is quality of life.
Okay, never mind.
Anyways, you're talking about palliative care when it comes to like burritos, right?
Yeah.
So that's something that makes you happy.
Hangovers make you sad.
But let me tell you what my breakfast burrito is.
Go on.
It's like healthy like my favorite breakfast burrito when i'm hung
over is an egg white spinach oh no yeah yeah i almost sipped my diet red bull and it is 4 p.m
and i'm drinking a diet but i almost spit took it when you said i like like i need a healthy
egg white sorry spinach maybe a little bit of like low fat mozzarella or cheddar, salt,
pepper. This bums me out so much. Really?
I'm so mad. I am so mad that you do this. I'm sorry.
No, no, I have to do it. Sustenance, life
so I don't die. The quality of life
so you can live happily. It's like a dog with
hip dysplasia and leukemia. You just
overfeed it until it eats itself to death.
That's how I am with hangovers. No, no, no.
If I eat something that's greasy
and potato laden
i'm just full of like cholesterol yolks like i will get worse my day will be worse because i will
be the the alcohol gets soaked up by the grease that's not true for me i will be i will double
down and be worse yeah i need something that'll keep me light, bright on my tiptoes. And that is a healthy
breakfast burrito. Is that for, because not all hangovers are the same. So is that for every
hangover that you kind of have the same, like the severity of hangover? I have the same craving each
time, but I don't necessarily always have access to a breakfast burrito. That makes sense. I found
that I have three levels of hangover. Oh, wow. Okay. So science doesn't actually know what
a hangover is. There's a lot of misinformation out there. People think that a hangover is just
dehydration. Oh, I thought it's your body reacting to poison. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, sure.
But I mean, alcohol is just poison, right? So your body reacts, but a lot of people think that
it's dehydration. That's where these liquid IV things come in. Pedialyte is replacing electrolytes
that are lost. do you mean like
the ones where they come to your house and they put an iv in your arm is that what a liquid i think
a liquid iv is a product that you drink that's like anti-hangover v bought that for me you're
just talking about an actual iv that people i know people that go to vegas they get like an iv
party bus which to me is weird as hell 2022 is wild it really is wild to have that 2023 is gonna
be just as wild though but no like dehydration
doesn't account for certain things like photosensitivity right that people experience
the hangovers i feel that i draw all the blinds really i just get into a cave you know and so a
lot of scientists think that it is uh the formation of ethanol not ethanol that is like it's an
aldehyde that is a byproduct of your body breaking down alcohol. They're like, yeah, that just poisons you from the inside out and it disrupts your body's hormones from functioning.
I like to take that view on it.
So for me, I have three different severities of hangovers, right?
OK.
There's the first one, which is like maybe you went out to dinner on a Thursday.
Friday was a light day at work.
And so, you know, you went out and had like two additional cocktails after dinner and then went home.
And then you get a little bit of a hangover, but it's like you're still functional.
So for that type, I get a big old black coffee and a big old green juice.
So you get hungover from those two extra cocktails?
Yeah.
I mean, if you have a total, it's not like deeply hungover, but you definitely don't wake up as fresh as you would if you were sober.
Okay.
And so it's that kind of like five to six drink range.
I'm also large.
Yeah.
And it depends on the type of alcohol that you have, you know?
Sure, yeah.
So like the mild hangover is it's like coffee and a green juice and I'm straight, right?
But all those liquids don't make your tummy go slosh, slosh?
No, my tummy slosh, sloshes all the time, Nicole.
Constantly.
Does it really?
I drink so many liquids.
Like when you walk, have you ever like at the moment when you're walking and then you hear it go slosh?
Dude, I will like roll my belly around and I can hear liquid sloshing around in it like 90% of the time.
I'll see if I can do it right now.
Hold on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I can definitely feel it.
That's the chair.
But you know like whenever you move around, it's like.
Yeah, but I love that.
Because to me, the caffeine is giving me the energy I need to be a functional human being.
Okay, okay.
The green juice is giving me, I don't know, whatever the stuff that Gwyneth Paltrow runs off of.
Goop?
Yeah, yeah.
That's like what it's giving me.
It's giving me all the nutrients, the minerals.
It's giving goop.
Collagen.
I don't know what they put in there.
But that's my favorite thing.
I go spend like $17 as a form of self-pennance.
Okay.
With the green juice and the coffee.
And that's great.
And then I go about my day.
The second form is like, you know, you went out.
You didn't go like a hard, hard.
But you went out with friends and you maybe left the bar at like 1230.
And you wake up pretty hungover.
It should be a weekend, hopefully.
And then that for me is prime breakfast burrito time.
And that way you just get a bunch of, you know know it's the palliative care method right it's
getting something that is really enjoyable inside you put some hot sauce on it it makes it feel
awake still drink a bunch of coffee and then there's like begging for death hangover i only
have those now i never have the i never have mild to moderate hangover but also i don't know if i
should say this on the podcast i'll say it will
but i drink to get drunk i don't like just like have like a cocktail or like a glass of wine for
like fun yeah that's called binge drinking disorder disorder yeah like it's there's a
disorder yeah it's not normal just like only binge drink i found this out too really shut up so it's
better for me to drink a little bit throughout the week.
I'm not a doctor yet.
I have plans on becoming a doctor.
Wow.
I did recently because I always, when I say always tell doctors, I went to a doctor for
the first time in 10 years a couple weeks ago.
And they asked me about how much I drink.
And I was like, oh, like really only once a week.
And they're like, how many drinks do you have when you do that?
And I say, I'd rather not answer that question. And they said, I'm a doctor. I'm not a cop. And they're like, how many drinks do you have when you do that? And I say, I'd rather not answer that question.
And they said, I'm a doctor, I'm not a cop.
And I was like, okay.
And then I, you know, gave her the real number,
which is, yeah, it's double digits plus.
I'm like, I don't know.
I'm out there to have fun.
I don't, I just say zero.
To the doctor?
I say zero for everything.
Why are you lying to your doctor?
What do you mean?
It's not important information to know.
There's no point.
They don't like, the doctor doesn't charge you more.
They don't like chastise you.
No, it's not important. It's not important for the doctors to know of course it's important
for the doctors to know that's what the doctor's job is josh are you like lying about your family's
health is no no no i'm very honest about that but not about the things that you are doing to
contribute to that exactly yes no no need to be i don't know you had to actually tell them that
you don't have to it's not like perjuring yourself in front of Congress,
but like, if you were going to a doctor
to be healthy, you should be honest with them about
what you do. And tell them like, okay, I have like five drinks
on a Wednesday. Yes!
I don't want to! You're a doctor! What are you afraid
of?
What if my mom sees me?
You are a grown
woman! Why would the doctor tell your mom?
There's patient doctor confidentiality! Because my doctor knows my mom! Go to a different doctor!. Why would the doctor tell your mom? There's patient doctor confidentiality.
Because my doctor knows my mom.
Go to a different doctor.
No.
I have history there.
My medical files are old.
They're like written in stone, okay?
They're not going to send it over to the next jabroni.
Do you still see your pediatrician?
And you're afraid that they'll catch you for underage drinking at 29?
Not underage. Not underage. Dr. Heckman, you're afraid that they'll catch you for underage drinking at 29 not underage
not underage dr heck come out you're wonderful she's a nice lady and i like her she always
checks my my my heartbeat and stuff she goes you're okay dr liashevsky said i gotta stop
drinking so much okay well i learned something new today um but no i like never have but also
like i don't know like when i drink it's just like i don't i don't like i don't drink to have fun like oh a cocktail here i might do that
now and then but like it's like i'm going out to have a good time man
i feel that you know and we're still young enough to where we can enjoy our lives and we do it
safely and responsibly of course we do you know i always have track my iphone on never drive drunk
ever it's the worst thing you can do very unsafe yeah and i love uber
i feel fancy or get or have it has a designated have a designated driver a dd who's your dd
i don't have any friends that don't drink um it just becomes tough to hang out
yeah with that because you know that's like what we do for fun oh so you guys just like rent a party bus
no we uber like normal people in before ubers which he had a lot of friends for a second
we have rented party buses that's fun but no i use ride shares or cabs you know hail a cab that's
when is the last time you hailed a cab in los angeles cal? Uh, never. I lied. I lied. I used to, before
Uber, we would call, we would call
a taxi. All you kids listening out there,
before Uber, you had to call
like 1-800-TAXI and you'd be like,
can you be there in 10 minutes? And they'd be like, no.
Not without $50.
And then you haggle with them when they get
there. Yeah, yeah. You ever haggle with them?
And then their card machine's always broken.
Cash only. and you're like
okay yeah yeah i guess
what's your what's your favorite like death hangover food sorry i interrupted you
um this is this is bad and this is not a lifestyle that I endorse. I've started being a hair of the dog guy.
I started being a hair of the dog guy.
Oh, does it work for you?
It's not so much that it works for me.
It's that I have no other options sometimes.
So if the death hangover comes, last time this happened was at a wedding.
I mean, we straight closed out a bar at 2 in the morning.
We were partying until 3.
Done that.
Really fun time.
And then wake up the next morning with three hours sleep, kind of wake up in that panic attack mode.
Yeah, that's so sweet.
You know, and like everything was just painful and it was terrible.
And so we immediately went to a sports bar and just started drinking like peach nectar mimosas.
That's wild.
And you felt better?
Yes.
Well, you're really just punting the problem down the road, right?
You're like, later me can deal with this because the alcohol right now is going to numb what's going on uh-huh um and then later
you deal with it on the plane back to la i was in oakland at the time yeah uh yeah shout out kevin
and paris's wedding fun time you threw a heck of a party um but point is point is hair the dog and
then the ultimate hangover food we're like 20 minutes in the podcast finally getting to my answer welcome to a hot dog is a sandwich the show that's always on track uh-huh fuck oh
yeah right that's like whenever i'm like feeling a little a little ill like tummy gurgles ill
that's what a hangover is to me i i reach for that comfort food and fuck i mean you get all
of the delicious star anise and cinnamon uh and that like charred onion and ginger from the broth.
It feels life affirming.
It feels life bringing.
You get, you know, the meat, just a lot of starch to kind of soak up and quell whatever was going on in your tummy.
Sure.
Fresh herbs too are a great digestive.
Totally.
You know, you're putting a ton of fresh mint, basil.
Mint, basil, yeah.
You know, all the green onion on there.
To me, pho is the ultimate hangover food
electrolytes it's the same thing as gatorade it's tons you're drinking a giant bowl of gatorade and
chicken soup all in one and it tastes better hmm i love gatorade though sometimes a little gatorade
really helps you out i had i had one of my more favorite, more favorite?
Most favorite.
One of my mostest favorites, extra most bestest pepperoni pizza hangover meals was at Valentina Tex-Mex Barbecue.
The fatty meats thing I do get, the fat does not soak up the alcohol.
It doesn't.
That's a myth.
That's a lie.
The fat's going to make you feel worse, but it tastes really nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I believe that.
But I went to Valentina's Tex-Mex Barbecue.
It was at the time
they were brick and mortar now
but it was just a trailer
and a Chevron station
all hung over
at a friend's bachelor party
in Austin
and we went
and we all just got
like two gigantic Gatorades
and then a ton
of like brisket
breakfast tacos.
Oh, that's good.
Some of the best brisket
I've ever had in my life.
That's good.
Handmade flour tortillas,
queso, guac,
every kind of salsa you can imagine.
And just every single bite just washed down with just desperate chugs of Gatorade.
And it was absolutely beautiful.
What flavor was the Gatorade?
I got that blue, Nicole.
Oh, I wish it was orange.
I got one fierce melon, which is orange color.
Okay, okay, okay.
I like fierce melon.
And then cool blue.
Okay, fair.
And that's a good combo.
I like how orange and blue makes brown.
Are there any like,
because there's a lot of traditional hangover foods
around the world.
What if I told you that I have an article
on my laptop that Mr. Josh Sharer wrote in 2014
titled 15 Spicy Hangover Cures from Around the World.
This was shout out to Danica Lowe
at the time editor of Epicurious.com
who she was the first person
to ever pay me to write an article.
I made $75 a blog post.
Wow.
But this article,
she hits me up at the end of the month
and goes,
hey, we need spicy food content
and we're restructuring our budget
so I can just give you like $ a thousand dollars to write like two pieces.
That's incredible.
Shout out to Danica.
That thousand dollars meant a lot to me in college.
Thanks, Danica.
And anyways, that's how I wrote this 15 spicy hangover cures from around the world.
Yeah.
So I'm very well versed in sopa levanta los muertos.
Dame un momento, por favor.
Sopa levanta muertos.
To lift you from the dead.
Yeah.
So a soup that raises the dead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Never had that.
But the most common one, especially in Southern California, is menudo.
Oh, menudo is the best hangover food.
I've, the last time I had it was in Reno, Nevada.
A great place to have a hangover.
And we went, everybody got breakfast burritos, and I saw they had menudo.
And so I got a bowl of menudo, I got a bacon breakfast burrito and I dipped the burrito in the menudo.
God dang.
I love menudo.
Underrated.
People don't talk about menudo enough.
So for people who don't know menudo, it is a tripe.
So not the book tripe that it's called or honeycomb.
I don't think it's honeycomb. There's honeycomb in it too.
Is there?
It depends where you go.
You're right.
You're right.
Some places have honeycomb.
Some don't. You're right. Yeah. The book tripe is the kind in pho that Is there? It depends where you go. You're right, you're right, you're right. Some places have honeycomb, some don't.
You're right, yeah, yeah.
The book tripe is the kind in pho that kind of has frills that fall off.
The honeycomb tripe is the type that's striated like honeycomb.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's tripe that's boiled in just a deeply rich chili broth.
You put like either lemon or lime and – or not cilantro, oregano on the top of it and some dried chili terrible sometimes.
And it is – it's gnarly.
Like it's deeply spicy and fatty and tripe.
I happen to love tripe and it tends to be cooked quite tenderly,
but it still has a nice pleasant chew to it.
But like that's an aggressive food to eat for a hangover.
What's the difference between pozole and menudo?
Pozole is more chill, right?
I mean, pozole is just a whole different dish that's cooked with like pork,
typically shank maybe. I think I prefer pozole is a just a whole whole different dish that's cooked with like a pork uh typically shank maybe i think i prefer pozole and it's got the hominy in it it's got the alkalized corn yeah i think i think now that i'm thinking back to it pozole probably works better
with my gi tract that makes sense but i do love a bowl of like funky menudo i do love it very very
much well there's there's a new hangover contender in town, though.
No, a new one?
Never before seen?
Birria.
Oh, no.
No, okay.
So there are a couple birria spots called pala cruda.
Do you know hangover in Spanish?
I don't know if it's standardized Spanish or like a Mexican slang.
I don't know.
It's cruda, which means raw.
Okay.
Like you're just feeling, you're just raw.
You woke up and you're just rubbed down to the bone.
Okay.
And there's a couple spots called Birria Pa' la Cruda.
And I've had like birria, which for people that don't know,
is spicy shredded meat soup with a consomme or like the broth.
A lot of times it's made with goat traditionally in Jalisco,
but a lot of spots are doing it with beef now,
which I believe is like a Tijuana thing,
but also kind of a very LA thing.
That's a really nice time, especially with the cheese.
You get like a quesadilla or a queso taco.
Queso taco, yeah.
And it's just stained with red grease, cut with lime.
It doesn't do it for you.
You can't do the fatty foods.
I don't know what it is.
Fatty foods when I'm hungover make me absolutely die.
I can't function the next few hours.
I can't.
I was going to bring up something about my hangover variability.
Some days, if the hangover is below a certain threshold, it's like today will still be functional and I can salvage it.
That's where the green juices come in.
When we got back from the streamies, I told you I ate. It was like today will still be functional and I can salvage it. That's where the green juices come in. When we got back from the streamies, I told you I ate.
It was like midnight.
I ate a Cobb salad that I found in my fridge and had a quart of water because I was like next day is work.
Yeah, thanks streamies for having it on a Sunday and having an after party till midnight.
But I was like, you know, the next day is.
We are so grateful.
The next day is not only salvageable, it's like necessary.
I was unsalvageable.
Josh, as my boss, you have to know that was, I shouldn't have come into work that day.
We were networking.
Josh, I shouldn't have entered the building to work.
I was so bad.
We were networking at the after party.
We made so many friends.
I was a ghost.
I was a shell of myself.
I've never been like that before.
Actually, I i have but like
never on a sunday it was wild so typically on that day would you would you try and be active
on a day like that with a bad hangover or you just shut you shut that you shut down the whole day
right are you kidding me i might go to the plant nursery i do love the plant is that what you do
is that talk to me about your hangover activities because that's a big one um lay down
yeah horizontal hours and then all of a sudden around like four o'clock i like get up and i'm
like i need to be a productive member of society yeah so i go and i go to the plant nursery
and i look at how's that productive you're looking at plants that's productive
yeah is that what you think people in society do to produce value for others?
Maybe I'll buy a plant, mofo.
Maybe I'll go buy a snake plant.
Yeah.
You got to do one thing, though.
You got to either go grocery shopping.
Yeah, I don't do that.
Laundry.
Oh, no, no, no.
Like sweep.
You're so active.
Oh, my God.
Put your purse on and go out.
You're so active.
No, no, no.
It's a majority of like I eat a large breakfast burrito to put myself into the dirt, right? purse on and go out. You're so active. No, no, no. It's a majority of like,
I eat a large breakfast burrito
to put myself into the dirt, right?
Put myself into the ground.
Just bury myself on the couch for like five hours.
I probably take a nap.
I wake up from that nap and I'm sweating and I'm panicking.
Oh, do you shower?
Okay, let's talk about how,
like when do you shower within like the hours of like-
Post nap.
You shower post nap.
Yeah.
I try to shower in the morning,
but sometimes I just can't do it.
No, no, no.
I never shower in the morning and hang over.
Because I think that the breakfast burrito, you need to hit rock bottom before you can get better.
Sure.
Okay.
That makes sense.
And so that's where it's just like a pound of coffee, a pound of burrito, a half gallon of hot sauce, and you feel like just disgusting.
I don't think the caffeine.
You're raised from the dead the caffeine
mixing with the alcohol also makes me super sick yeah you get dizzy from it but eventually the
dizziness stops the world yeah the world stops spinning and then you but then that gives you
the energy to revive yourself i don't know it just doesn't do it for me emotional catharsis
is big too oh yeah what's that you gotta watch something really sad. Oh, I think I do that.
I do that automatically.
You're feeling bad, so you're like, I want to mirror this emotion.
Oh, my God.
I love doing that.
What's your go-to sad movie?
On three, on three.
I don't have a go-to sad movie, but I just watch whatever sad documentary is on Netflix.
And I'm like, the climate crisis.
It's really sad.
My favorite sad movie is, I don't think I can watch it anymore.
I haven't done this in a while.
Oh, I Am Sam would get me.
Sean Penn.
Although, I don't think I can watch that through the same lens.
No, it's different now.
It's really Sean Penn acting disabled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's a good sad movie.
It's a good sad movie.
If you're back in 2005.
Oh, that was a great sad movie.
Oh, sorry.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
No, I was going to say Pursuit of Happiness. But now after Will Smith. Oh, that's a good sad movie if you're back in 2005 oh that was a great sorry go ahead go ahead no i was gonna say pursuit of happiness but now after like will smith oh that's a sad happy movie
like i don't know if i am into will smith like that anymore it just seems like you know kind
of will smith come on the show um but uh will smith come on the show it's just it's just different
now it's different in 2023 no will smith's a great actor he's a great actor in pursuit of happiness
one of the saddest scenes ever where he's holding, spoilers for Pursuit of Happiness,
he's holding Jaden Smith
and Jaden Smith is just playing himself
as Jaden Smith, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's holding him in the bathroom.
The guy's like beating down the door
and they're crying.
He's like thinking dinosaurs
or whatever.
He's like, there's a T-Rex outside.
Oh.
Oh, I have one.
It's a Holocaust movie.
What?
Oh my God, what is it?
I'm sorry for laughing.
It's Life is Beautiful with Roberto Benigni.
Have you ever seen that? I haven't seen it, no no but it's on the list it's on the list danielle
sharer you need to watch there's you need to watch life is beautiful you can watch it with
subtitles or you can watch the dub version it's the same exact emotional roller coaster it is the
most beautiful movie it really is the most beautiful movie and I cry like a baby in it. I literally, I turn in, I ball up, and I'm just like, why?
And then you smile, and then you cry again, and then you smile again.
Stop looking at me like that.
You know what's a terrible sad movie?
Julia tried to make me watch this, so I told her that I like sad movies when I'm hungover.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Rent.
Oh, see?
Oh, Maggie Gass.
Wait, Maggie, oh, you love rent singing oh my god singing sad
it got me in the worst emotional headspace i have ever been trying to watch rent while hungover i
just wanted i have never had the uncontrollable urge to grab the tv remote and throw it through feel like 525,000. 525,000. 600.
Hundreds. How do you
measure? Measure
a hundred.
In cups of coffee
and breakfast
burritos and Josh's
hungover.
You're flat. You're pitchy.
Tell you what.
Other hangover roots.
Other hangover roots.
What are other things that you have enjoyed?
A protein bar.
Get the heck out of here.
You need to know the truth.
You don't get it.
I am dead.
I cannot.
My makeup is smeared because I did not take it off.
Yeah.
Go on.
She's about to reveal a personal detail.
I know the look of shame in Nicole's face when she's about to reveal a personal detail i know the look of shame in nicole's face and
she's about to reveal a personal detail yeah yeah yeah where are we where are we gonna talk about
i'm gonna cry where a certain article of clothing is yeah yeah it's just chucked across the room
huh yeah yeah just like walking like one day i was in by the way julia's out of town i was
completely alone and I just woke up
butt naked I never sleep naked I always sleep I'm like uncomfortable on top of the
on top of the covers just exposed just butt like like sheets I kicked off the sheets in the middle
of the night there's nothing I don't even have like a pillow. I was just starfished. Leg spread akimbo.
Butt down.
What?
No, butt up, but like back arch.
I don't know how to explain it.
I'm not well.
So we've all been there.
Oh, man.
Yeah, just like I just,
I literally, you can't turn on the flame.
Like you can't.
You can't turn the flame on.
You can't turn the microwave on.
You're just, you're not well.
Yeah. You gotta eat a protein bar. bar jalapeno popper cheeseburger now what they did is they nicole check this out so they made a cheeseburger with bacon and pastrami on it oh my god but then they
stuffed it was called oh i'm so mad that it was called junior no no this is a uc santa barbara
special there was a man there was man, he was a drug addict,
but that didn't define him.
But I think it did give him
a lot of energy
to do what he did.
He was the original Postmates.
What drug?
We called him the rabbit runner
and I don't know why,
but he was definitely stimulant.
But what,
he had a number
and you would call him
and be like,
yo, get me the jalapeno popper burger
from Ivy Deli Mart.
And then he would just be on his bike and
he was better more efficient than postmates professional we tipped him well dude was just
the og delivery service and it was just him on a bike and he was thin wiry man bugging it never had
a shirt just permatan you know looks like a looks like a raisin out there permatan just a tan that
is just now a shirt you know what i mean oh yeah Oh, yeah. Got it. Got it. Yeah. One of those dudes.
Leathery.
Leathery.
Leathery.
Yeah.
And he was awesome at his job.
Yeah.
And if you were hungover, he was a savior.
Another one, tamale carts.
Oh, wow.
Nicole, I don't believe in angels unless a tamalero comes around my home.
Tamalero.
Comes around my home when I'm hungover.
And because you wake up, you're hungover, you're like.
Are angels boys or girls?
Angels are, I don't think. They're everything? Angels have agendas. Really? Well, I don't know. my home when i'm hung over and because you wake up you're hungry angels boys or girls angels are
i don't think they're everything angels have agendas really well i don't know our angel is
gabriel because tilda swinton was a was the angel gabriel and like that is an ambiguous person so i
don't know gender of angels huh neither ah see you said tamil gender binary uh christianity doesn't Huh Neither See You said Tamalero
The gender binary
Christianity doesn't believe in the gender binary either
Yeah
We did it
Look at us
Nicole any final words on hangovers
Every time you take a
My chapstick fell
Every time you take a drink
Have a cup of water
Yeah it doesn't help
But you know do it.
You'll be glad that you had water.
Hydrate.
Hydrate.
Eat in between so you don't wake up the next day like a zombie.
Like you are a reanimated corpse.
Just eat and drink in between.
Stop looking at me like that.
You're so disappointed in me right now.
No, I'm not.
It is good advice. It is good advice.
It is good advice.
Because if you're drinking water, you're not taking a shot.
Drink water.
That's why it works.
Drink water.
Have little canapes in between.
And just, you know, enjoy your life and have a healthy breakfast burrito.
The bougiest thing Nicole has ever said is This is it? Is that have some canapes
in between drinks. Yeah, when I'm
slamming bush lights on the beach,
Nicole, I'll just have a little, I don't know,
cucumber tea sandwich with caviar and creme
fresh. What do you mean? Canapes can be used for
anything. Anything can be a canapes.
I'm eating a wet bag of spicy sweet chili
Doritos. Is that a canapes? Of course it is.
That is your version of a canapes.
You know what's actually good practical drinking advice?
What's your advice?
That I think not a lot of people know, and maybe this is the way my stupid brain works,
but people don't know how to standardize what a drink is.
Like when you say I've had five drinks versus six drinks, whatever, that doesn't mean like
if you get a margarita, that's not all as one drink, right?
You go down to what's that?
What's that North Hollywood terrible Tejano, terrible tejano el tejano you go there
and you get a margarita they serve it in a 16 ounce glass there's probably four shots of liquor
in there right which is four drinks which is four drinks so a drink is uh 12 ounces of four percent
alcohol which is to say a light beer right a can of beer okay can of rolling rock bottle of rolling
rock i drink medicans that's one drink a glass of 12 wine most wines between 12 and 15 a four ounce pour of that is one drink same as one can of beer
a 1.5 ounce shot at 40 alcohol which is to say foolproof spirit that is one drink uh-huh uh
three ounces of a half proof spirit like a liqueur say a malibu coconut rum is one drink learn how to
estimate the amount of drinks
in your head
based on how much you've had
and that way you can
at least track
and know your limits.
Big brain Josh!
All right, Nicole,
we've heard what you
and I have to say.
Now it's time to find out
what other wacky ideas
are rattling out there
in the voicemail verse. It's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the voicemail-verse.
It's time for a segment we call...
Opinions are like Caserole!
All right, let's fire up that first one.
I love the sexy voices on the voicemail.
Not too breathy at all.
They're natural. Very sexy. sexy voices on the um voicemail not too breathy at all we're very very sexy um i just wanted to
say josh that you are the weird neighbor like yeah you think you have weird neighbors like
she lived next to you are doing unimaginable things on that porch you are oh i can see
crying turkeys on that porch like what? You are the unique, strange neighbor.
Yeah.
Is this your neighbor?
You think everybody else is.
So just keep that in mind and never forget and just be proud of it.
Where do you live?
Love you.
Bye.
Is this person your neighbor?
I believe the term for that is read me for filth.
Did she read me for filth?
Is that the correct terminology for this? Yes, you've been read, Josh.th did she read me for filth is that the is that the correct terminology you've been read i've been read i've been read um i must have been
complaining about weird neighbors and then by telling me i am the weird neighbor i literally
had flashbacks of me like smoking a whole pork foreshank in a bale of hay on my college apartment
balcony and my neighbors literally like calling the landlord
and being like, hey, he's like pumping smoke
into my whole house.
You are such a garbage.
And I'm like, don't you understand
that I'm trying to recreate a Northern Vietnamese dish
that's been lost in the sands of time called yak kai?
You weirdo.
You're the weird one for not thinking that this is normal.
Josh.
Nicole, you have to, because the dish,
the dish literally translates to fake dog. you have to because the dish literally translates
to fake dog
and so to cook
the dish
you would have to
burn the hair
off of the dog
by wrapping it in hay
and so I was following
a legit recipe.
No, no, I cooked
it's made from pig.
It's fake dog, Nicole.
The dish is called
yak kai, fake dog.
Yak kai.
Yak kai.
It's tough.
Vietnamese is very tough.
I know.
I learned how to say B.
How do you say it?
I forgot.
Okay, great job.
I accept that I'm the weird neighbor.
And that's fine.
Honestly, thank you for helping me become self-actualized.
Josh, does this person live next to you ever?
No, they've just probably heard me say anything.
No, no, no.
This person specifically said, I see you on the porch or whatever.
I think they meant like that in the metaphysical sense.
No, no, no.
This person knows you.
They said they know you. I do some weird stuff on the porch i didn't know anybody could see my porch because i'm kind of
naked there a lot josh so you're naked on your porch but you never sleep naked yeah i'm fine
are you scared of an earthquake no i'm afraid of my cat clawing at a sensitive area. You let your cat sleep in bed with you?
Yeah.
That's how you get worms.
Listen, it's part of my culture as a gross white person.
It's what we do.
Our animals, they kiss us on the mouth.
They sleep in our beds.
I don't know what to tell you.
Okay, next opinion.
Hey, guys.
Drew here.
I think I'm supposed to say long-time listener, first-time caller,
something along those lines.
Part-time lover, full-time friend.
McDonald's gets all the love and stuff with Big Macs and chicken nugs and fries and stuff.
But people are sleeping on the drinks.
Like that's where they're really at.
Where else can you get a $1 Diet Coke that's absolutely the best in the game?
So much better than the bottles, cans, whatever.
McDonald's got the best one.
Also, their coffee
milk i gotta call it coffee milk yeah there's like no coffee quarters milk and cream and like
flavoring that stuff is hand down the best and again like a dollar so like yeah mcdonald's drinks
that's my opinion this is a good opinion i like their coffees. The McCafe's. Delicious.
That is, okay, talking about great hangover things, palliative care.
Okay.
Get a big old milk coffee.
It's so good.
That is a good time.
McDonald's, they got some of the cheapest milk coffee in the game.
I'd say Dunkin', if there's one available to you, also great milk coffees.
Phenomenal.
I've only ever been depressed inside Dunkin' Donuts, and so if you have a hangover, it's kind of perfect.
What? I just, Dunkin' Donuts make me if you have a hangover, it's kind of perfect. What?
Dunkin' Donuts make me really sad.
I don't know how to explain it. Every Dunkin'
I've ever been to has been like a sad place.
I'm not a big Dunkin' fan either.
You go into Starbucks sometimes and the employees are like kind of chipper.
Even at McDonald's sometimes the employees are like,
I've never had a Dunkin' Donuts employee
look like anything but they
would be anywhere else on earth.
Hey, Dunkin', tell Duncan, tell your customers?
No.
Tell the people that work behind the counter to smile.
No, don't tell them to smile.
Are you kidding me?
Give them a reason to smile.
Service with a smile.
I don't think that they're unreasonably not smiling.
I think it's hell.
I think it's hell.
It seems to be hell working at a Dunkin'.
Why?
Because they got a million.
Okay, imagine working.
There's donuts in hell, I guess.
Imagine doing the same volume as a Starbucks, but like also making omelets.
They make omelets there?
It's all probably kind of microwaved.
But still, and like putting out donuts, it just seems like a lot.
Dunkin', give your employees a reason to smile.
Pay them all more.
That's my statement on that.
Okay, sure.
Pay them more.
But it doesn't kill anyone to just have a smile on your face when you hand me my Boston
creams.
They got spicy Sprite at McDonald's.
Oh, the Sprite goes like this.
It goes.
I think I could be mistaken on this, too.
I believe the Diet Coke syrup that they use was like never updated.
Have you heard this?
Yeah.
It's like an OG Diet Coke syrup because Diet Coke will reformulate Diet Coke occasionally, right?
I think they did it recently.
They removed aspartame or something or other.
I don't drink it, so I don't know anything about it.
Oh, I love it.
But I think McDonald's has like an original formula that is just solely made for McDonald's from Coke.
I think it might be like an urban legend where they're like, oh, for McDonald's they specially formulate stuff.
But I don't think that's real.
Yeah, I doubt it.
Why is their Sprite so spicy?
I think it's carbonation levels in the machines, right?
It's so spicy.
When you open it, it literally goes.
Also talking about the drinks being a dollar, not to brag, and I know you've heard this before, Nicole, but the person I dated in high school, her father was high up in HR for Taco Bell.
Anyways, he told me that the reason they do the one dollar drinks all the time at any size is
because no matter what drinks are always going to be the highest margin and so they're trying to
like get people dependent on a large drink so even selling an extra large drink for a dollar
as opposed to $1.49 they're still making a crazy margin on that significantly more than any
especially beef laden product and so yeah dollar dollar big ass drink it's a great time you ever get a big
gulp love big gulps i never i know i can't do a big gulp why not dummy can't handle it it's just
too much how much is it 128 is it a gallon no i think half gallons the highest i'll go up to that's
crazy i once after basketball practice drank a 64 ounce big Big Gulp of Diet Pepsi, and Deep can verify this, and I just threw it up, like, immediately.
And then I know, no, no, Maggie, you looked up Big Gulp, look up, like, Super Gulp.
Because they have, Big Gulp is no longer the biggest.
Yeah, and then there's another one that's just called, like, Fat-Ass Gulp that's, like, 64.
Double Gulp?
They go higher.
What's a Double Gulp?
What is the Gulp hierarchy? Oh, my God, this is. Double Gulp? They go higher. What's a double gulp? What is the gulp hierarchy? Oh my god,
this is... Double gulp.
I would say super gulp should
be bigger than a double gulp, though. That doesn't make any sense
to me. Oh my god!
You want to know what it is? The psychology. You think
the double is smaller, but you'll still get it.
I think they call it a double gulp because the
big gulp is 32 ounces, so this is literally
a double big gulp.
This is crazy. I just learned so much about gulp is 32 ounces, so this is literally a double big gulp. This is crazy.
I just learned so much about gulp hierarchy.
I want a big gulp.
Next opinion!
Hello.
Hi.
All right, here's my controversial opinion.
According to the World Wide Web.
I've heard of it.
Google.
Seems upsetting.
Google it.
A pot roast is defined as a piece of meat
cooked slowly in a covered dish i think braised short rib is a pot roast i think carnitas are
pot roast and i i think barbacoa pot roast i i think pot roast has only been used on like that Sunday dish that your grandma makes.
But I think it's a much wider scope than what we give credit for.
All right.
Take care.
You want me to shut this down real quick?
You shut this down real quick.
You can go.
All right.
So we're talking about pot roast, right, as a technical format for a dish, which I don't necessarily disagree with.
You talk about braised short ribs as being a type of pot roast. I might agree with that. But when we get into carnitas
and barbacoa, what he might be referring to are the chipotle versions of what those dishes might
be. But carnitas is actually defined as a whole pig cooked down in its own fat. It's effectively
a form of confiture, right? Yes, if anything, it's confit. It's confit, if anything. But also,
you know, carnitas is its own dish that has stood the test of time for forever.
Barbacoa similarly comes from the Arawak word barbacoa.
Yeah, which is an indigenous, which is a Taino form of whole animal cookery.
So traditional barbacoa, it is cooked in maguey leaves that are buried underground.
What's a maguey leaf?
The agave plant.
Oh, cool.
So it's cooked in those leaves.
And then that is a actual whole animal preparation.
If you want to say barbacoa is a form of barbecue, carnitas is a form of confit, I might listen to that.
As far as pot roast, no, that is false.
Could there be other forms of roast you could put under a pot roast umbrella?
I would take that, but I don't know that we need to have a standalone category for pot roast.
Also, I don't like pot roast.
I like pot roast.
I make a good pot roast.
No, I don't buy it.
So I don't like pot roast.
I like pot roast.
I make a good pot roast.
No, I don't buy it.
All right.
I'm going to give you the best cocktail.
Okay?
Let's go.
You got one third Kahlua.
Pause.
Pause.
He said Kahlua?
Already bad.
What?
You don't like Kahlua?
No.
Kahlua's a delight.
Keep going.
You got one third Kahlua. One third Di Serrano, one third Blue Powerade, 100% meth.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Di Serrano, Kahlua, and Powerade? Di Serrano's an amaretto, right?
So you got like the almonds.
Yeah, almonds.
Chocolate.
And blueberry. Blue Powerade, mountain
blueberry, you monster.
Ew. What, did you shake it
over ice? You know what? If you added a touch
of heavy cream to this, I might be in.
You add some heavy cream, you make it pure milk
alcohol. You know what this tastes like?
Vomit. No, no, no.
It tastes like chocolate-covered gummy
bears. Which you like?-covered gummy bears.
Which you like?
I love them.
Do you think you would get down with this cocktail? But I don't want to get drunk with that taste in my mouth.
You know what I mean?
If you just soaked chocolate-covered gummy bears in vodka, that would get you most of it.
You can't soak them because they're covered in chocolate.
Micah, wave it.
Micah, wave it.
Josh!
The chocolate melts into the vodka.
You never care or listen to what's going on.
You just talk without caring.
No, I would soak the gummy bears.
And then once they're soaked, I would pat them with the towel.
And then I would dip them in some chocolate.
How did you come up with this recipe?
It's disgusting.
Also, an equal.
So this is a Negroni format, right?
We're talking an equal one, one, one ratio.
Yes, a Negroni format. What he's making is effectively a Negroni format, right? We're talking an equal 1-1-1 ratio. Yes, a Negroni format.
What he's making is effectively a Negroni with substitutions.
What would you name this drink?
Oh, God. I don't know.
It's chocolate-covered almonds with blue.
You go. I don't know.
Trail mix.
I mean, good name as any, I suppose.
That was literally the most horrifying cocktail that I've ever heard of.
Pretty bad cocktail.
The color of it, because you'd still see some of that blue-green,
algae-like quality from the Powerade come through the dark color.
You don't know that.
You don't know.
Maybe he's giving it a little shake and not stir situation.
Maybe he's layering it kind of like one of those cool shots
that the tipsy bartender does.
You're talking about like a float of the Powerade?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't know what's going on.
I think the only way we can know for sure is if we make it.
I do not want to go out and buy a bottle of Clue and Di Serrano
just to do this, but I might.
And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen,
we've got new episodes for you every Wednesday.
If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles,
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Oh, my big daddy.
Yeah, your big daddy.
Can I be big daddy?
Nicole, you're always big daddy.
No, we'll see you next time.