A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Correct Way To Eat Pizza?

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Today, Josh and Nicole explore the proper etiquette for eating a slice of pizza! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. When you eat pizza, you gotta do the New York fold. Uh, actually, I prefer the Spokane, Washington undertuck method. This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich.

A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Chuck E. Cheese. And also known as Pasquale's Pizza and all the predatory ghost kitchen apps. Or Charles Entertainment Cheese. Charles Entertainment Cheese is his legal Christian name. But then when he went rock and roll, he was like, you know, inspired by Chuck Berry, Chuck E. Cheese.

And so that's a really great pivot. What's your real name? Not just your real name. Is that a song by Drake? It sounds like a song by Drake. That's not a Wayne reference. Okay, no, we love Wheezy. Don't know if I love Drake.

Anyways, today we are talking about what is the correct way to eat pizza, Nicole. And this came up very naturally for me in my own life because I've been eating pizza roughly the same way for a long time and I didn't know how weird it was until I believe you shamed me for it. Do you even remember this? Did this even register on your radar? Never. It literally, it hurt me so badly that we're doing,

we're bringing you to the red table to discuss this, Nicole. Because there are many different ways to eat a pizza. Yes. And this has actually come up in history, in culture, in media, in politics even, how people eat pizzas. So today we are going to discuss every single method under the sun to eat pizza and what

could be considered the right way or the wrong way or does it freaking matter. What did I do to you? Do you want to see how I eat a pizza? Should we just start this off? Because it's not a commonly known method and I don't have a name for it. I kind of want to call it the bat wing even though it's the opposite of a bat wing,

but I kind of like it. It's like calling a tall guy shorty. Oh, sure. This is Prime Pizza. This is Prime Pizza. This is probably my favorite New York style pizza. You've never had Prime? That's why I got it today.

We got a plain cheese pizza, nice New York style, a little bit crispy on the bottom, and the style of pizza is going to affect the method that you use. Okay. So I'm holding up a large slice of cheese pizza here, Nicole. You see it's a little bit floppy, which is why the New York fold people, they'll always fold it in half. But what I do is I take the crust and I take ranch dressing, boom, mixed with a little bit of hot sauce and I dip the crust in the ranch

and then I bite off one corner of the crust. Okay. And then Nicole, I bite off the other corner of the crust. I can't believe I shamed you for this. Well, entertain them while I chew.

Oh. Hello, my darling. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime gal. So now I'm left with this sort of bat wing situation. I've bitten off the two

corners of the crust. Okay, wait. And this way, I can do a little pinch and undertuck method. So I'm going to pinch the crust here.

Then you get less crust floating on the outside. And then use the pinky to support. I don't fold. I don't believe in folding. Okay. I know many people do.

Okay. But now I'm left with a perfectly erect aquiline piece of pizza that can go straight into my mouth. Okay. But the only reason it's erect is because of the pinky support. The pinky support keeps it erect.

A well-placed pinky, Nicole, can keep pizza erections up to an hour. If it's anything over four hours, you got to go to the hospital. You got to call the number on the bottle. Josh, did you know that I used to eat pizza crust first as well? When you say crust first, do you mean you would fully eat the entire crust? Yes.

And then get into the meat of the pizza? Yes. Why? What's your psychology? Well, I think it's because when I was a kid, I wanted to be different. No, I love that. That's true. And I don't know. I think my psychology is I want to save the best bite of food last. And everybody knows that the tip of the pizza is the best bite of food. No, wait, the tip of the pizza is the best bite for you? In my mind, yes. It doesn't fill your palate enough. It doesn't fill your mouth. I want to feel

filled. No, don't be crazy mouth. I want to feel filled. No, don't be crazy. So you got to think about, well, the way that the pizza is constructed, how it has a tip at the end, it is inviting you to eat it from tip first. But I was such a like, I want to be edgy and cool. I used to eat the crust first. And then people would look at me weird and be like, yeah, I'm eating the crust first. You want to talk about it? Yeah, you'd get attention no matter what. You couldn't differentiate between positive and negative attention.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But today you can? I'm just going to take a sip. So, yeah, I used to eat my pizza crust first, but I would demolish the crust, and then I would eat it backwards until the tip. But then, of course, the tip was too cold, so it was no longer the best bite of the pizza slice so i

abandoned it that's like a greek tragedy that's like a sisyphean task my whole life is one big greek tragedy after another i don't think the tip of the pizza is the best for me i'm trying to think of the best bite of pizza i think it's number four oh number four because if you're eating it without my stupid batwing method that I just, for some reason, came so naturally to me. I don't think it's stupid. I think this is just you maximizing your pizza eating potential. Yeah. Also, my brain don't work right sometimes and it just made sense to do this to me. But no, I think once you take the first bite of the tip and then you go side side, that's two, three. Yeah. Then you're left. Then I guess. But you don't fold. Well, bite number four, I fold. And that two, three. Yeah. Then you're left. Then I guess... But you don't fold.

Well, bite number four, I fold. And that's the best bite of the pizza, I think. But then I unfold by the time I get to like seven, eight. Okay. That's weird. Why do I do that? But if I'm saying that the folded is the best bite, huh. Maybe you should be folding it from the beginning.

But I don't like that. I don't like folding it from the beginning. Because I think once you fold pizza, you almost turn it from the beginning. But I don't like that. I don't like folding it from the beginning because I think once you fold pizza, you almost turn it into a sandwich in the sense of you're getting bread on both sides, but then there's a very exciting gush from the cheese and the sauce and the toppings. But it's still a pizza.

It doesn't matter if you fold it after it's been cooked. But I think it changes, it changes not the ontology of what the pizza is, it changes how it interacts with your mouth. Yeah, it's like whenever ice cream samplers, like they tell you to eat it ice cream first instead of the metal spoon first so you can taste the ice cream first. Yeah, you flip it upside down.

So I understand why you're saying that. But I mean, when you fold a pizza and you put it in your mouth, you're getting crust on the bottom, and then the tip when it gushes out is going at the roof of your mouth. But it's a fun surprise on the tip when it gushes out. I like it. I personally really like it. But another thing, aside from the tipping the best part, I loved like Pizza Hut and Domino's. For some reason, the trough of sauce was also my favorite part.

Wait, what do you mean the trough of sauce? So where the cheese and the crust meet. So where the cheese and the crust meet. Yes. But there's a little bit of a space where the pizza artist did not fill it out. Like right next to the crust, you see right here, how there's almost like an indentation of redness. There's about a centimeter in each pizza that is only burnt tomato paste cooked into bread. That's also the older I've gotten, the more I realize that that might be my favorite part of pizza. But when I was a kid,

I used to, I used to take my index finger and peel that part off with all the, all the like white, like breadiness, like wet breadiness and just eat that too.

That's so funny. Yeah. That's, okay, so there, there is like an Italian dish. Can I eat a slice of pizza? What?

Yeah, you can slice a pizza. Eat a slice of pizza. I'm going to slice pizza too. There's an Italian dish that Can I eat a slice of pizza? What? Yeah, you can slice a pizza. Eat a slice of pizza. I'm going to eat a slice of pizza too. There's an Italian dish that's just sort of like focaccia with tomato baked into it until it becomes like fully ingrained in there. I think you just want that, Nicole. I don't think you want pizza.

Maybe I don't. But I also agree with that. Okay, let's get into how people actually eat pizza and what the consensus are. We found a poll. 2,000 people were surveyed. This is done by Donato's Pizza via OnePoll. Legit Right?

Super legit methodology Listen, this isn't a population This isn't statistically significant But this is helpful to know how much people hate us 28% eat it what we could call normally You grab the pizza You eat it tip to crust You don't fold it

18% Nicole Eat it crust first Okay This is the second most statistically significant So we're not that You're not unique at all. No. And then 17% are folders. They fold it in half.

14% sandwich two pieces on top of each other. Oh, oh, come on. The John Travolta method? Yeah, wait, what's that from? What's the one, Saturday Night Fever where he puts two pizzas on top of one and then eats it like that? I've never seen it, but I know that's a reference. What do you mean I've never seen it, but I know that's a reference.

What do you mean I've never seen Saturday Night Fever? You think that I would have watched? 8% Nicole, eat it with a knife and fork. So I feel like that's pizza determinant. It is pizza determinant, and it's culturally determinant. If you get a Neapolitan pizza that's soggy in the middle, I think you got to use a knife and fork. Some people I've seen, they do this. They fold the tip over

and they do this. Have you ever seen people do this? Oh, the Spokane-Washington undertuck? Is this the undertuck? Yeah. Officially credited to Spokane-Washington, inventor of the casserole. No, I do that with a very wet pizza. So, like Nicole said, this is very New York pizza. Also, this is a day old that we reheated. We're

recording in the morning. Just chill. It's better fresh. It's this is very New York pizza. Also, this is a day old that we reheated. We're recording in the morning. Just chill. It's better fresh. New York pizza, people say its largeness, its floppiness is what necessitated the fold. Especially because they're like, you know, in Italy, pizza is more of a sit-down thing. It's more of a personal

thing. And in New York, it's a street food. You got to eat it on the go. I'm walking here. Apparently Al Pacino improvised that line because he actually almost got hit by a cab on a set food. You got to eat it on the go. I'm walking here. Apparently Al Pacino improvised that line because he actually almost got hit by a cab on a set that wasn't as close as it should be. That's correct. Do you know what movie it was? Taxi Driver.

Nope. Dog Day Afternoon. He wasn't in Taxi Driver. That was Robert De Niro. The other same person. Al Pacino and Robert De Niro are very different people. What movie was it? Rhinestone Cowboy, I believe.

It was Rhinestone Cowboy? Interesting. I think so, yeah. Anyway, so a lot of- Fact check! Fact check! Fact check! A lot of people, they will use broad terms about,

in Italy, they do this. In America, they do this. One of the most fascinating things- Midnight Cowboy. Midnight Cowboy. Like a rat. It was a song, sorry. So, Nicole, Pizza Raid,

the origins of pizza go back thousands of years. You can look at the Roman Empire. They're making flat breads outside of gladiator stadiums, putting cheese and toppings on it. I'm going to call that a pizza. But the more modern origins of pizza people think come from Naples, right? Especially the introduction of tomatoes, right? Tomatoes, new world crop, 1492, first time they were even able to get back to Europe. Weren't even popular in Europe until the 1600s and 1700s.

And even then it was very regional. So what country is Naples in? Italy. When did Italy become unified? I don't know. This isn't a history quiz. It should be though because pizza is part of history. So 1861 Italy sort of officially unifies.

It wasn't until 1948 after World War II that unified as the Kingdom of Italy and then it became the Republic of officially unifies. It wasn't until 1948 after World War II that it unified as the Kingdom of Italy, and then it became the Republic of Italy after 1948. So Italy had a king? Oh, yeah. Italy had a king, like, through World War II. I had no idea. But not only that,

and the king, I believe, was in Sardinia? Mm-hmm. And then the Vatican City was, you know, sort of isolated during World War II. But the point is, like, the history of pizza goes back long before the idea of Italian nationality, statehood, or kingdomhood. Okay.

And so Naples literally was under, I wrote down a bunch of notes because I went pretty deep on who owned Naples at the time. Okay, so Naples was originally under Spanish control when modern pizza was invented. Was it? time. Okay, so Naples was originally under Spanish control when modern pizza was invented. Was it? It was taken over by the Austro-Hungarian Empire and the Habsburgs.

Naples was then conquered. Habsburg? The Habsburg dynasty. Like Keith Habersberger? Not like Keith Habersberger. Are they related? No, the Habsburgs. They're a long dynastic ruling family in Europe. And then it was conquered by Napoleon in like 1805. And then after Napoleon got ousted, it was under control of the Spanish Bourbon monarchy. And then it was conquered by Napoleon in like 1805. And then after Napoleon got ousted, it was

under control of the Spanish Bourbon monarchy and it was renamed the Kingdom of Two Sicilies. Because check this out, Nicole. Naples at the time was kind of called Sicily and they had a king, but then Sicily was also called Sicily and they had a king. So then the Spanish Bourbons take over and they're like, you're close to each other. You should just become one people. And so they literally

called it the Kingdom of Two Sicilies. And then Giuseppe Garibaldi goes on this campaign to basically try and unify Italy under one personhood because there was so much mounting pressure everywhere else in Europe that they're like, if we remain independent kingdoms, we are going to get crushed. And so Garibaldi rides in on a train to Col de Naples with a thousand people, just one thousand, and basically takes over an entire government. And then it was given to the kingdom of Sardinia to then join the United Kingdom of Italy. What does this have to do with folding your pizza? Because people say that in Italy,

they don't do X with pizza. They say in Italy, they don't fold their pizza. And I'm here to say that Italy is a big diverse place with a lot of diverse history. And so people do indeed fold pizza in Italy, not all Italians, but in Naples specifically pizza was a peasant food. Pizza wasn't a fancy thing where you went to a fine dining restaurant. So fancy. Would you consider pizza fancy? I think it's not fancy,

but there, it was never a thing that there were rules around because there's no rules around peasant food, right? All this stuff of like, do you eat it with a knife and fork? Do you do whatever? That's all like a sort of very bourgeois means of controlling people. We've talked about this with the history of the fork.

And so you go to Southern Italy right now. You have something called pizza alla portafoglio, pizza in a wallet. Pizza in a portfolio. Pizza in a portfolio, which literally Folded slices of pizza That are served in paper Served as street food There's also pizza al libretto Which is a whole pizza

Book Yeah Pizza like a book Very good And you actually fold That pizza as well Okay So anytime people are talking about

Like in Italy as a generality They eat it with a knife and fork Of course that is very common Yeah But you're also explaining Two pizzas whenever there's Like a bunch of types of pizzas In Italy A hundred percent So And so you go to Rome right Uh huh Pizza al taglio Of course, that is very common. But you're also explaining two pizzas whenever there's like a bunch of types of pizzas in Italy.

A hundred percent. So. And so you go to Rome, right? Uh-huh. Pizza al taglio. Uh-huh. Pizza al taglio, pizza cut with scissors. I love.

That's a big street food. I love pizza cut with scissors. You do? I love when I go somewhere and they cut pizza with scissors. It makes me feel like I'm in an arts and crafts store. You know the reason I don't like that? Why? So at least the places in LA that

do this, you order it like by the pound. I don't know how much pounds of pizza I want. You can of course estimate and show them with your hands. You can also tell them like I think I'm going to want that. Yeah. Ask them how much is okay. It's enough of a hard social interaction for me to avoid it. Get out of here.

You know what I mean? It's like calling somebody on the phone. It's just like, I'd rather not. I love calling people on the phone. I'd rather not. What? Meggie, you don't like calling people on the phone? Ew. I love hearing people's voices

because you learn so much more about them instead of text messages. Fair. So Italy, Naples, Sicily, they all have very different pizza styles. And of course, with free migration of people, like those styles cross borders.

Sure. We have a lot of Neapolitan pizza here. A lot. And like you said, the style of pizza is dependent on how you eat it. So Neapolitan pizza, which tends to be smaller, cooked at a much hotter temperature. American New York style pizza,

probably cooked, what, 500, 600 degrees? Yeah. You know, in a big gas oven. Of course, you got brick ovens and all that. Sure. But a lot of the major chains and stuff, they're just doing gas or electric ovens. Neapolitan, it's all just like wood-fired, 800 plus degrees, cooks in 60 seconds, and so it stays kind of wet and floppy.

How do you eat that? With a fork and knife. Do you really? Of course. Hold on. We go to local Neapolitan pizza chain, 800 degrees. Well, when I go to 800 degrees, I got asked for it extra crispy. So you don't have to do that.

You asked for it extra crispy? Mm-hmm. So I can pick it up. But like, I'm not going to 800 degrees anymore. Yeah, I think they pivoted to a rotisserie chicken restaurant. I don't know what's going on. I really enjoyed what they did. They were fun.

I liked it when I was like younger. But now like, for example, if I'm going to La Pizzeria de Michelle, the famous pizzeria. Pizzeria Antica de Michele. Yeah, exactly. The one that was a neat pre-love. From Naples. I'm not going to ask them to, you know, fry it extra crispy or add some random stuff to it. I'm just going to, they're going to present it to me. I'm going to eat it with a knife and fork. Do they cut their pizzas for you at Pizzeria Antica de Michele? I actually don't remember. I've only been once. Because I know that is a common thing. They don't cut it. No, they don't.

How do you feel about that? It's okay. Because at a restaurant called Bestia, which is very much a fine dining Italian restaurant, even though LA doesn't have, it's not like a strict fine dining restaurant. It's like Michelin. Is it a Michelin star? No. Oh, God, I don't think so. Maybe. But it's just, it's very nice and expensive and a fun time.

They didn't serve their pizzas for a long time. I haven't been in a minute with any sort of cuts in it. Yeah, but they would give you scissors, so you would cut it yourself. Which I love. I also love, and I think there's a very valid cookery reason to not slice your pizza. So this plays into why people would eat pizza with a knife and fork. Okay. Right?

So it's not New York style pizza that they're just digging into with a knife and fork. It's like a very quick cooked pie that is cooked incredibly hot that is served to you fresh. Yeah, it makes sense why you would need to use some cutlery because it's so hot, number one, when they serve it to you. Yeah. And it's just so, I mean, this isn't a good representation, but it's just like, it would be like this. It would bleed out. No, everything would just slough off. And that's not a good eating experience.

Correct. I think by not slicing it, you're letting carryover cooking out. No, everything would just slough off and that's not a good eating experience. Correct. I think by not slicing it, you're letting carry over cooking happening. No, you're 100% right. You're 100% right. And if you've ever gotten a Neapolitan pizza that is sliced immediately and you try and pick up a slice,

it just goes... And all of it bleeds off. And it's not enjoyable. No, and you're trying to scoop... It's like a nacho plate that has lost integrity. You're trying to scoop it back onto the crust. It happens to the best of us. Yeah, yeah.

So I don't, though, go with knife and fork because I eat almost nothing with a knife and fork these days. Josh. I was at an airport last night and I got like a roast chicken because I just wanted protein and something healthy. And you ate it with your hands. I ate every single thing with my hands. I was sucking the bones. I was taking the broccolini it came with and just eating it with my hands, dipping it in the blue cheese dressing that came

with my wedge salad. You are patient zero. Yeah, and that's fine. And that's fine. I own that. That's really bad. Do you have a little hand sanitizer? Yeah, Julia forces it on me. I wouldn't do it otherwise, but Julia forces it on me. No, washing your hands is good. You should wash your hands. And I try before I eat with my hands to wash

my hands. Okay, thank you. But no, I just prefer to eat everything with my hands. I know that about you, but like in like a contained area where you like... I feel like I wouldn't eat a plate of wet spaghetti with my hands. I wouldn't eat ramen soup with my hands. No bag spaghetti? Ooh, I do love bag spaghetti. You're talking about like

Dominican beach spaghetti? Oh yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It became a thing in the Dominican Republic for, and I've asked Dominican friends why this is the case and they're like, bro, I don't know, but we brought spaghetti with a bag. It's literally spaghetti you put in a bag and you take it to the beach.

Yeah, and you just like all eat it with a fork out of the bag and that's an awesome communal experience. I would cut a hole in the bottom of the egg and go and slurp it. That's why you're so unique. That's why I'm unique. But point is,

Neapolitan pizza, I'm going to demonstrate it with this pizza. What I do when it's really wet, I will do the Spokane Washington undertuck where I take it and then I really heated this pizza too much. It's okay, man. It's extra crispy. But I will take it and I will fold this part up. I will fold the tip up. Yeah, that's normal. To contain the ingredients and then I bite and I slurp

and then as it cools down, I get to the end. Yeah, that's normal. To contain the ingredients and then I bite and I slurp and then as it cools down, I get to the end. Yeah, but that's if and only if the pizza is able to be folded like that. Sometimes it's so wet you can't even fold it like that. Do you ever, how about a Sicilian slice, like those big focaccia-y ones? How do you eat those? Oh, you just eat that Like those big focaccia-y ones.

How do you eat those? Oh, you just eat that any way you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to, okay, you've seen that really lewd TikTok chef named Donut Daddy? You mean the one that like has sex with the donut dough? Well, he makes love to the donut dough is what he does. And part of it is, I forgive our young audience, but this is out there to consume. He shapes the dough into butt cheeks and then he shoves his face in and sort of breathes it in. But that's how I do with Sicilian pizza.

He breathes it in? Yeah, he just kind of like accepts its essence. Does the dough go up his nose? Yeah, it's like it's really all in his face. And for Sicilian pizza, it's thick enough, Nicole, and doughy enough to where I shove the whole thing in my face and just go. Like, but a good Sicilian, it has a little bit of an undercarriage. Like, it's a little bit crispy on the bottom.

Yeah, Sicilian, for people who don't know, similar-ish to Detroit-style pizza, typically square, focaccia-y, thick, lot of sauce, lot of cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, is it a treat, too. L&B Spumoni Gardens. Oh, my God. That was a time.

Josh literally made us get on three subways. Yeah, many subways. Three subways from our destination to go eat at this place. And the pizza was good. Yeah. It was all right. It was not worth three subway trips. It was worth it for me.

And also, you didn't even eat the spumoni. Oh, because it was bad. The spumoni was great. The pistachio was green. The cherry was red. The spumoni was great. The spumoni at L it was bad the spumoni was great the pistachio was green the cherry was red the spumoni was great spumoni at l and b what is it l and b spumoni gardens i'm sorry i didn't really like it i'm sorry i'm allowed to have opinions we were also damn near suffering from heat stroke after the hot dog eating contest and i was i was solely surviving off of beer and clam strips on a hot day.

Not a single water. I was just slamming like Coors Lights and eating clam strips dipped in ketchup at a shore bar. My favorite memory from that trip, aside from all the pizza, we ate some good pizza there, was the sea witch that came. There was a woman who we don't know if she was real or not. But then listen, like not to be mean, this is a woman. She's the main, she's the protagonist in her own story. She literally was like a soggy witch in like a cute little bikini.

And she comes and she's like, how many quarters? It was, Nicole was. I want to play music. How did you box? Yeah, she was just in a full like string bikini. And again, she's out there rocking her life You go you crush it But she had absorbed more rays from the sun

Than anybody I'd ever seen She looked cooked She looked like a turkey leg And again crushing it But all she wanted was to play music from the jukebox And we didn't have any quarters for her She was pissed Anyways one last thing I really want to get into about pizza

is what I got right here. I got a big bowl of orange creamy stuff, Nicole. And this is hot sauce ranch. This is my official dipping sauce for pizza. It's one part sriracha, one part vinegar-based hot sauce, and like nine parts ranch. Okay. Can you model it?

If you can see the orange creamy here, and then I take every single bite of pizza and I slather it in there. I want to try your mix. This has been very controversial. Uh, when I went to yesterday, I went to Prince street pizza in New York just to get a plain slice just to have it. And they literally had a sign that said no ranch dressing, no blue cheese, none of that crap. That's the thing. It's, this is another thing that, um, is really split on people. And I was trying to find the origin of sort of how people started dipping pizza in salad dressing.

And I found an incredible article by Aditi Shrikant in Eater called How Dipping Sauce for Pizza Became Oddly Necessary. And they trace the origins back to Pizza Hut 1958 when they opened. They served cups of warm marinara for their breadsticks.

34 years, Pizza Hut remained the sole dip-haver until Little Caesars invents Crazy Bread in 82. So hear me out. Crazy Bread remains dry until Crazy Sauce is introduced. Now this just isn't marinara sauce. This is Crazy Sauce. What's the difference? It's basically marinara sauce with sugar

and they serve it ice cold like a gazpacho. But the point is they deviated a little bit. 1984, Papa John Schnatter. Papa John Schnatter. Papa John Schnatter is the biggest innovator in the pizza dipping space. I did not realize that they have had the garlic sauce. And the pepperoncini.

And the pepperoncini since they opened in 1984. Every single pizza has come with a single pepperoncini that is steamed and hot and boiling juices inside. And then a garlic butter sauce, which is just a combination of hydrogenated oils and love, I suppose. Yeah.

And so in 1984, they do that. And that sort of launched a race to who could get dipping sauces for the crust and breadsticks there. 1995. This is the next evolution. Little Caesars. They escalate the dipping sauce game with a series of four. Cheesy jalapeno, buttery

garlic, ranch, and buffalo ranch. You can trace my love of ranch dressing with pizza to Little Caesars 1995. And now everybody has those dipping sauces. Were you a Little Caesars kid when you were younger? I was a Little Caesars kid by necessity because it was the cheapest. But I preferred

Papa John's when I was a kid because the garlic and the pepperoncini So good Like that's what it was You know what I mean How do you feel about people That eat pizza And leave their crust

I Listen I don't Food waste is a tough thing And I know In the scale In the scale of things Tried at the Hague

But the crust Is a part of the pizza The crust Is penance You must Eat your penance To eat the pizza. The crust is penance. You must eat your penance to eat the pizza. Julie does this thing with hamburgers where she takes off the top bun and doesn't eat it. Oh, that's like a health thing.

I know, I know. But that's the crust thing too. People are like, oh, I'm saving carbs by not eating the crust. What about people that dab their pizza with napkins? I find nothing wrong with dabbing a pizza with napkins. I find nothing wrong dabbing a pizza with napkins. Oh my god. I hate people that do that. Sometimes you get a pizza that has too much pepperoni.

I am not a big pepperoni fan. I don't get pepperoni pizza. Almost never. I love sausage. I love even a salami. I like speck. You like speck. You like a nice German cured meat. Well, listen, the Austro-Hungarian Habsburgs. It's coming full circle, baby.

But no, I, sometimes you get too much pepperoni on there. There's too much grease. I'm perfectly fine with blotting it. You know what I mean? I don't really. None of my pizzas really warrant that. And if they do, then I'm probably not going to go there again. What do you, if you go to a slice shop and they have garlic powder, oregano, chili flake,

and Parmesan, that is the holy quadrinity. Okay. Which of those are you using? What order do you put them on? I unscrew the top of the Parmesan. Yes. I make a pile of Parmesan. I screw the Parmesan top back on.

I put it on the pizza. I put oregano. I put red pepper flakes. Normally, if they have chili oil, that's also good. I put the chili oil next to the Parmesan tower that I've made, and then I eat it. Leaning Tower of Chisa.

Is that from Extremely Goofy Movie? Yes, what's up, dude? Oh my god. The greatest looking pizza in modern history. Pauly Shore. Pauly Shore, man. Great character. I love when the pizza is still warm and greasy, getting the garlic powder the pizza's still warm and greasy getting the garlic powder on there because the

warm grease toasts the garlic powder. Then I go oregano similarly blooms it and then chili flake goes on top. Do not use the parmesan for me.

What? Here's the thing. I don't even, and this is the worst thing I'm going to say of the day other than all the other bad things that were in

Yoendos, but I don't even like need cheese on pizza. I am here for the interplay of burnt bread and tomato. Okay. And the cheese for me is just there

because people look at me weird if I don't want it. Do you ever take the cheese off? No, but if there are places that offer cheeseless pizzas by design, 800 Degrees used to have one. I remember, yeah. It was called the Napolitana. Which is correct. That is a pizza Napolitana.

It was a cheeseless pizza that had marinara sauce on it. It had capers and it had anchovies. Delicious. And to me, an oregano. I don't love basil on pizza. I want oregano on pizza. I don't like garlic powder on my pizza. I don't do that. But maybe I might start.

I didn't used to be a garlic powder guy. But that's my favorite way to eat pizza. But in the end, there's no wrong way to eat pizza. There's the end, there's no wrong way to eat pizza. There's no wrong way. You know what I mean? Unless you're sandwiching it, then you should have gotten a calzone. You're somebody that doesn't know what you want.

What's wrong with you? You don't know how to extract meaning from life? You're just sitting there letting everything hurtle rocks towards you, you know? Like you're a doe-eyed deer and then bam! Do you really care what kind of pants the guy who was wearing was shot you? I think I had a stroke. Josh, what was that? What did that mean?

What did all of that mean? I was trying to do Marissa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny at the end. Oh, I've never seen it. Oh, really? Oh my God. My dad is obsessed with that movie and Marissa Tomei in that movie. I am also obsessed with Marissa Tomei. Marissa Tomei, come on.

Last Meals. That'd be fantastic for us. Alright, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what their wacky opinions are. Time to hear it. Here we go. Opinions! I like casseroles! But before we get to your casserole opinions, we want to check in on the poll we posted on our Spotify page.

It's poll dance time, Nicole. This is completely optional. I'm born ready. If you would like to dance while I read the results of the poll, you are fully ready. Make sure to check us out on YouTube to see what the dance looked like. Because now you can just hear it if you're listening to audio. So we said you're going on a $1,000 date to a sushi restaurant. That is a reference to the third date I went on where I accidentally spent $1,000 despite having no money at the time.

Purposefully. Who do you bring with you? In the lead, I'm flattered. 53.3% said Josh, 34.9% said Nicole, and 11.8% said Maggie. Okay. I got to stop this pole dance. Maggie only got 11.8%. Very Maggie. Okay, I gotta stop this poll dance. Maggie only got 11.8%. Pretty disrespectful to Maggie out there, everybody.

Rude. You should all be honored to share a meal with Maggie, okay? She's the best. Maggie, you deserve to have an incredibly resentful person spend $1,000 on you and then get in a fight later in the night. Not Josh, not me, you. This is shady.

I'm honored to be nominated. Let's get into that first opinion. Hi, my name's Jackie from St. Louis. I agree, the pizza here sucks, but I was also born and raised in Detroit. My weird food combo

that I like is toast with hummus and then a little bit of raspberry jam on it. Blueberries, goat cheese, and some honey on top. All open face. It's a really good, sweet, and savory combination. Thanks. Bye. Okay, I got something here. Go ahead.

Should have been tahini. Should have been tahini. Tahini would have really rounded it out. Tahini instead of hummus Yes I agree I think the hummus is a little weird because of all the lemon and garlic Same And I think if you just did a nice schmear of tahini

I think it would substitute that creaminess you're looking for But I wouldn't do tahini Like straight from the fridge I would make tahina Yeah but tahina Without the garlic Tah I would take... Tahini preparata, as I call it. Yeah, tahini preparata.

Tahini is just raw sesame paste. And then, yeah. So you take the sesame paste, you add water to it, you add salt. Typically, you add garlic, parsley, and lemon. I would just add lemon. And then I would use that as my base. And it'd be really good.

I would... Same, same. Let me one-up you a little bit. Ricotta, tahini, boom bat. Ricotta gives it a bit of a creamy base. You already got goat cheese going on there. Yeah. But the goat cheese is adding the tang, right?

To me, you're so close. Like you love eating this and that's awesome. Keep eating it. Yeah. But I think you should keep chasing that dragon and find the better thing because I don't think you want hummus on there. I love hummus on toast,

but I think once you get the berries in there you're getting the garlic you know that's to me clashing a little bit you're so close to making like the best thing ever try it out tahini i agree mix it with ricotta or even like uh tahini preparata yeah or even like a let like a yogurt lebanon tahini yogurt and splenda that's what i'd do. Mayonnaise is good. Thank you. Mayonnaise is good. Thank you. I just want people to grow up and whatever they think they dislike

about mayonnaise, just forget it because it's good. I've never met a deli sandwich that I didn't want mayonnaise on. Same. But you get the point. It's good. And even something like Miracle Whip. It the point. It's good. And even something like Miracle Whip. It's good. It's good. I don't know what it is.

It might not be mayonnaise. It's like mayonnaise, water, and corn syrup. It's good. I'll eat it with a spoon. It's good. It's pudding. It's a pudding cup. I don't know who in your audience needs to hear this. Somebody. But get over yourself. Eat more mayonnaise. Thank you. This is ridiculous. You're out there. Hold on. No, let me get the soapbox open.

You're out there and you're like, I think mayonnaise is gross because I think I'm better. No, it's good. It's good food. I like mayonnaise. I'm not going to eat it out of a jar with a spoon like some sort of creature, but that's okay. No, I don't need to do that. Try it.

I don't want that sensation. I don't need that sensation, but I do like mayonnaise a lot. What about the squeezy bottle? What about the squeezy bottle? You just squeezy it in your mouth. I don't need to do that. Try it. I don't want that sensation. I don't need that sensation. But I do like mayonnaise a lot. What about the squeezy bottle? What about the squeezy bottle? You just squeezy it in your mouth. I don't need to do that. Okay. Okay.

Grow up. I'm grown. I am grown. Somebody actually did a bit of a scientific analysis, kind of social science, a little bit of folk science on why people hate mayonnaise. Folk science? Maybe a folk science, right?

F-O-L-K? F-O-L-K, yeah. It's like a thing that has been heavily observed and you can draw inferences from, but wouldn't necessarily pass peer review. So a bit of folks, like ginger ale curing stomach aches. That's a great example of folk science. There's something in ginger that does help with yada yada, but does flat Canada dry really help dis-Pepsia? Like, no, but your grandma did it,

and their grandma did it, so you do it. A bit of a folk scientist did a thing where they talked about how mayonnaise is very similar to bodily fluids. Yeah, I get that. Pus, stuff like that. Very pus-like, very pus-like. Very pus-like, but so are a lot of those butter, you know,

that doesn't have the same revulsion of mayonnaise. And so I don't know if it's just rebelling against like, my parents' generation was so into jarred mayonnaise because it was relatively new for them. My dad was born in 46. So I grew up just mayonnaise slathered in everything. I think part of it is associating. Your dad was born in 46?

Yeah, he's a full, straight up baby boomer. Like straight up post-World War II. My parents were born in, my mom was born in 46? Yeah, he's a full Straight up baby boomer Like straight up post-World War II My parents were born My mom was born in 57 Yeah Wow Your dad was old That's old

He's dead No, because he's old He died because he was old But also, you know, other things But anyways, I think A part of it is Associating mayonnaise with blandness And people now wanting to be more worldly,

which is why Chipotle aioli, wow, fancy. But does blandness, blandness does not equate with revulsion. No, but I think it started people on that. I think it started people on that train because nobody's revulsed by Chipotle aioli. Nobody.

A lot of people are repulsed by mayonnaise. But I don't think it's because of the blandness of it. I think it's part of it. I think it's part of it. I think it started that trickle. Blandness does not lead people to be like, that's not what blandness is. You know when a celebrity gets canceled? Yeah, what about it?

Right? Like, it'll happen, and then somebody's like, yeah, and this one time I met them, and like, they were a little bit mean to me. So I knew that they were going to commit these horrific crimes. And it's like, no,

it's just once somebody started the pebble rolling downhill, then all this stuff comes out. Interesting. You know what I mean? That's the mayonnaise thing. People are like, yeah, it's a little bit bland and boring. And it's like, yeah, it looks like puss and I want to throw up. It just naturally snowballed. That's fine. But grow up.

Hey Josh. Hey Nicole. I love the podcast. I'm a student in high school and I want to be a chef when I'm older. So I just wanted to point that out. But I do want to say that my favorite breakfast has to be like a thick, thick piece of toast with like borscht and cheese on the top. It has to be like toasted until it's that hard. Oh, my God. You put borscht and cheese on the top, capers, smoked salmon.

My man. Done. Done and dusted. My man. Even like two of those. My favorite breakfast in the world. Anyway, keep it up.

Thanks. I love listening to the podcast. Thank you guys so much. Good palate. Delicious. Dude's got a good palate. Yeah. Smoked salmon in the morning.

My favorite. Two things. Sometimes a bagel, a bagel time and place, love them. But sometimes it's a little bit too tough. Sometimes I don't want to work that hard on a nice piece of toast. Like you said, you got texture from a little bit of burn on it.

Then cream cheese, like mayonnaise, a little bit boring sometimes. Boursin. Boursin. What an incredible cheese. It's herbaceous. It's garlicky. It's still spreadable. So good.

Smoked salmon. Boom. Jewish heritage. You know what I mean? Those Baltic salmon up there and then capers, a little bit of acid. Would you add anything to this? Hot sauce. A few drops

of yuzu at hot sauce. I would add raw red onion and I would, this is a chore. Smorrebrod. Smorrebrod. Smorrebrod. Smorrebrod. Shout out to the Danes. But I would add raw red onion that is soaked in ice water. I know that's Oh, smorabrod. Sounds like smorabrod. Smorabrod. Smorabrod. Shout out to the Danes. Sounds like it.

But I would add raw red onion that is soaked in ice water. I know that's the whole task. You love doing that. But sometimes I'll just take raw red onion, slice it, pack it in ice water as a meal prep thing. Yeah. Just because it gets extra crunchy. Yeah, you like that. Like that.

Ooh, and I love a crunchy, sweet red onion. That acridity is sort of bled out in the ice water process. Cucumber to me, I don't know, cucumber is almost too specific of a flavor. Cucumber and fish, it can, it can like, well, for, in my culture, it's kind of like butting heads of Saturday, which means coldness. Oh, interesting. It can make you throw up. It's made me throw up before. If I eat cucumber, fish, celery, and one more thing.

That's folk science. And that's, and listen, folk science is real. It's like hot foods and cold foods. Yeah. It's very, it's more thing. That's folk science. And listen, folk science is real. It's like hot foods and cold foods. Yeah. No, I agree with that. I agree with that. This is a good breakfast.

And that's a great start to a chef career. If you want to be a chef, go for it. You can do it. I was talking about someone being like, you know, mean in an interaction. I want to shout out Felix,

who I met in the airport last night. I wasn't mean, but I was a bit antisocial. Here's what happened. I ate a bunch of Thai food a little bit hungover in the morning, and I had a late night flight, and I got the violent hot squirts at the airport 10 minutes before the flight was supposed

to board, and I got really scared. So I was in a bad place emotionally. But then our flight got delayed two hours, which made me, you know, bad place emotionally further, but then also I got to go to the bathroom for a long time So Felix, if I was cold to you I apologize I was just afraid of the hot squirts

And the fact that I didn't get into LA until one in the morning Despite having to record a podcast I'm nice to everyone at the airport I was nice He was like, hey, I'm a big fan And I was kind of just like, thanks man Doesn't matter if I gotta poop, doesn't matter if I have to pee I'm always nice This hasn And I was kind of just like, thanks, man. Doesn't matter if I got to poop. Doesn't matter if I have to pee. I'm always nice.

I was like, this was to the point. This hasn't happened in a long time where I was like, this will not stay inside me. That's really crazy. I know. And I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the alcohol and the Thai food you ate. It wasn't that much alcohol, though. I've eaten a lot more Thai food and drank a lot more alcohol in my life.

Maybe it's the traveling. I went to a low traffic sub sandwich shop in Sparta Township, New Jersey, and got the chicken salad. Okay, Josh. And I know chicken salad, you can just let sit for a while without changing it out. That's going to make me bark.

You know what I mean? So it could have been the chicken salad. Could have been it all together. Julia didn't eat that. She ate all the other stuff, but also ate a lot of spicies at the Thai food. You're just a mess, bro. Constantly a mess.

I need to... When I'm home, bro. Constantly a mess. When I'm home, I live such a virtuous lifestyle. Do you? Okay. I eat healthy. I go to the gym. I have an appropriate amount of social interaction if I drink, but even if I'm at home, I don't like drinking. That's not true. Continue.

No, but only in social interactions. You're so social, though. But I don't want to be. I would prefer to just hold myself up. Josh, I've known you for four years and there has been times where you have drank like seven days in a row. Yeah. And I've been like, bro. And I hate that.

But it's other people. It's never me. It's part of like, you know, there's no blame on you. But part of it is like, hey, if there's a cool opportunity. Yeah, you gotta go. I'm gonna bring my friends. But you don't need to drink., if there's a cool opportunity, I'm going to bring my friends. But you don't need to drink. We need to go to the luxury brownie launch party. That was cool.

That was cool. You know? That was cool. Yeah. And they have free drinks. I love being away from home. I actually love it. You pay for your home, Nicole.

You pay to stay there. You're wasting money every time you leave your house. It's complicated. If you're not. Anyways. Next opinion. We can talk about this on another podcast later.

Hi, Josh and Nicole. This is Michael from Atlanta, Georgia. Should you leave your house? No. I'm about to start playing a new Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Let's go. Where I will be playing a muscly dragonborn chef that I based off of Josh. Let's go.

I'm excited to cook up all the strange creatures we'll be fighting. So I was wanting to know what mythical creatures you think would taste the best. Fantastic. I personally think that it would be a cockatrice. Sorry, Belvedere. Cockatrice.

A cockatrice is some sort of fire breathing bird, right? Yeah. I think it's our logo. No, it's definitely a logo. Yeah. But what would make a cockatrice special? I bird meat any bird meat is great i need to look up some mythical creatures

because i don't know any off the top of my head um the wendigo the wendigo is i believe uh an indigenous uh folktale oh no the chupacabra that'd be fun actually carnivorous animals tend to taste bad so what i would go with is oh hear me out me out, hear me out. Here's a good one. The pegasus. Gnome. A winged horse. I want to take gnomes and I want to cook them like mussels. Gnomes are people.

Oh. Gnomes are just like people. What? Yeah, it's like... It says they're mythical creatures on the... No, I know, but a gnome is a humanoid-like creature. So you don't want me to eat humanoid? Gnomes are part of like Icelandic, Nordic folklore, right? Okay, so does that mean... So that means that I can't eat humans, but you can. Well, you don't want me to eat human or gnomes? Gnomes are part of like Icelandic Nordic folklore right? Okay so

does that mean so that means that I can't eat humans but you can. Well you shouldn't. Okay. It's like saying you won't eat a leprechaun. So can you eat mermaids? What about mermaids? Mermaids you can eat. Now those are not Christian. But what about centaurs and like mermaids? You can only eat the bottom half of a centaur. Ditto with mermaids.

I think if I could. What about a reverse mermaid? I think if I could like. Reverse mermaids are hot. If I could like date any mythical creature I think it would be a centaur ditto with mermaids i think what about a reverse mermaid i think if i could like reverse mermaids are hot date any mythical creature i think it would be a centaur centaurs are notoriously sexy also though like uh fawns or satyrs oh is that the guy from the lion witch in the wardrobe yeah because he got all the sexiness of a man's muscly chest with all the horniness of a goat's lower half what about about a cyclops? Are cyclopses mythical creatures? Cyclopes? Psych. Cyclopes is the plural.

Go ahead. Are they available for a date? There are people with one eye due to either congenital issues or industrial accidents, any sort of accident. If you want, I don't think they prefer to be called cyclopes. If anyone who's lost an eye, do they call themselves a cyclops? I'm be called cyclopes yeah if anyone who's like lost i do they call themselves a cyclops i'm sure there is at least one person who's lost that thinks it's really rad leela from futurama leela is a hot cyclops and she does she have three

breastises no that's american horror story ah okay okay um yeah i i would say pegasus because there's something horse meat tastes good and then a Pegasus also is coming with wings. So that's a brand new cut of meat that you've never been able to have. Ostrich wings are very good braised. We've braised and fried and done buffalo style ostrich wings. That's great.

I would say you take Pegasus wings, you break them down into flat and drum and like who gets the flat, you know? And then, I mean, you braise and fry those. That's going to be really fantastic. It's still gnome for me yeah nicole's cooking a gnome i'm like a suckling pig no i told you like muscles like mulfrey but isn't it am i are you how do you cook gnomes like muscles isn't a gnome like a little person no the hat and the outfit is like a shell you're eating a hat you're eating its? The hat isn't attached to the gnome?

Do you eat the shell of a muscle? Yes, you're saying a gnome's hat is like a muscle's shell, like it's its home. Josh, pull up a picture of a gnome right now. I need to break this down. Josh, all gnomes have a hat, but they don't remove their hat. It's part of them. And then their outfits. And like, you know how how there's a beard on a muscle? Beard on a gnome. You remove the beard and then you just cook it. Why is this so hard for you to understand? Yes, why is this so hard for you to understand?

I literally said Mulfreets. Do you listen when I speak? No, that sounds good. That's a good idea. Gnomefreets, Provençal. So on that note, thank you for listening to Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got your audio-only episodes every Wednesday

and a video version on YouTube every Sunday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or like Casseroles, hit us up at 833-DOG-POD-1. The number again is 833-DOG-POD-1. And for more Mythical Kitchen,

check out our other videos. We launch new episodes every week. We'll see you next time. Josh, we're matching. Did you even notice? Look how cute we look. We're on video? Twins!

What the hell? I thought this was a podcast.