All Fantasy Everything - 90s Action Movies (Auction Draft w/ Shea Serrano, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

That's right, we're auction drafting on the main feed now.   Episode Guest: Shea Serrano @sheaserrano (IG: @sheaserrano)   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel) Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan) David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87) Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)   Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we are auction drafting 90s action movies. Our guest today is the author, television writer, male model. Yes. Bon Vivant. Just Bon Everything, She writer, male model. Yes. Bon Vivant. Just Bon everything.

Che Serrano. What's a Bon Vivant? A Bon Vivant is just someone who, I think, who like sinks his teeth into life and takes a big bite, baby. I thought it was like a piece of candy. Good liver in French. Good liver? I believe so. That's what it stands for?

Like Vivant as in like life liver. Oh, like one who lives well. I thought you meant like the organ of the body. If you drink too much wine, your vivant is going to shrivel up. I had a vivant transplant. Anyway, I'm your host, Ian Carmel. With me as always

are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is switching up its format for today. Just to have a little fun. We have been doing auction drafts over on the Patreon for the last few months. And we have been having so much fun with it.

And we were so excited that Shay was going to be on the podcast that we wanted to just switch it up a little bit and do an auction draft here on the main feed just because I think the topic lends itself well and so people can kind of see what's going on over on the Patreon Sean Jordan Sean S. Jordan on Twitter, Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram, you're here. I'm here You're excited for action movies

Yeah man, we'll talk about what constitutes a foreign film in a bit. But before we do that, I will be in Minneapolis, Minnesota, August 18th and 19th. Comedy Corner Underground. Please come out. I love your city. I love being there. Thrilled to do it.

And then I'm recording an album October 29th in Portland, Oregon. There are like 80 tickets left, I think. So scoop them up. It's months away. They're going to go quick. First show sold out real quick. Other than that, man, I'm just chilling. Are you trying to invite your boy, the limo driver from Minneapolis?

Dude, if that guy showed up, man, yeah. With his Stretch 300C that he drove us to the Vikings game in? With his DeLorean doors where he was playing Sister Christian. I was like, I get in. I was like,

it's pretty loud. He goes, what do you say? He's like, it's going to get louder. Yeah. No, he was,

he was, he said something about the music. He's like, Oh, it turns up. Yeah. It was sister Christian. And he let us drink in there.

It was real. He had his murdered out Vikings. He had his Vikings Raiders jersey on, you know? Yeah, it was, it was a black and white Vikings jersey. Yeah,

man, it was. And then David and I met the mascot. Definitely invite him and the mascot to the show. You got to get him out there. You guys, I'll bring him up on stage. David Borey is here.

Cool guy. Jokes. 87 on Instagram. David, where can people see you? Bring the, bring David a plate to her. Go to bring David a plate.com.

Uh, Birmingham, Alabama, Asheville, North Carolina, Philadelphia, people see you uh bring the bring david a plate tour go to bring david a plate.com uh birmingham alabama ashville north carolina philadelphia chattanooga tennessee raleigh north carolina austin texas denver indianapolis morgantown west virginia st louis new york city sioux falls south dakota minneapolis and uh you know if you're lucky in the bay area maybe i come and i do a show in san francisco and i record it and try to sell it to people afterwards who knows what could happen the first or second week in november but who knows what fate you know you know anything could happen in that city but bring david a plate.com uh go get tickets and come see me the hours real good is there any are there any strategies for these people cooking it so shay david is doing a tour where the conceit is the

people coming to see him do stand-up comedy also bring him a plate of food well they send me a picture of the plate first and then i pick the winner oh eat it in that city are there any angles that people can take that do you think will give them better like is there anything you're looking for on these plates i mean exciting and weird is really where i'm going if you have like a vegan soul food situation or you have some crazy shit or like something real local if you're from some country i don't know about and you got some kind of real local dish that's always gonna be top. Something your grandma taught you how to make is kind of what I'm looking at.

That's nice. That's a good move. You're looking for novelty. You're looking for quality. I want the kind of thing that you open the tinfoil and you're like, oh, shit. I'm so glad they made me a plate. Fantastic.

I'm your host, Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. You can find my tour dates, linktree, linktr.ee, slash Ian Carmel. I'm going to be in Portland with Sean Jordan, Kyle Kinane, Shane Brendan, Imani. We're doing a benefit show for the Crayon Kids Children's Theater, August it goes on it'll go on sale tomorrow and you can get your tickets uh on all those socials all the money going to this children's theater really good cause uh so that'll be a lot of fun you can see me at high plains in denver yes we'll be in vancouver british columbia with sean jordan yes uh november 30th through December 2nd, something like that. And then I'll be in Austin, Texas at the Vulcan Gas Company December 8th and 9th

celebrating Hanukkah with the beautiful city of Austin, Texas. Known for its Hanukkah celebrations. Known for its Hanukkah celebrations. Sixth Street Hanukkah on Sixth Street, bro? Don't even start. I'm going to be lighting Joe Rogan's head on fire eight nights in a row.

It's going to be fantastic. Right there in Austin, Texas. They probably have good brisket, right? Do people eat brisket on Hanukkah? The Jews and the Texans can come together for sure. I mean, Shay, you're from right down the road from Austin, right? San Antonio? Correct.

About an hour away, yeah. And the brisket is good, confirmed? Brisket is delicious. You're going to love it. I'm going to be fucking up the brisket is good. Confirmed? Brisket is delicious. You're going to love it. I'm going to be fucking up some brisket in Austin on Hanukkah. Our guest today, returning champion, Shea Serrano. Defend the belt, baby. Defend the belt.

Will you protect this house? What was it last time? Oh, God. We did stretch runs for actors. Yeah oh that's a that's right that's a good one it was a lot of fun uh creator of the halfway books house of how just house of literature author author of basketball and other things author of movies and other things, author of movies and other things, author, just creator of so many things you like,

some of which we can't talk about right now because of ongoing labor disputes, but go seek out Shay's work. Shay, what do you want to put people onto right now? I have a new thing that just came out. It's called the Action Hero Scouting Report. And it's very similar to the way that they do a scouting report for basketball players. You know, this basketball player is good at this and bad at this.

In this situation, they tend to do this. And in that situation, they tend to do that. But instead of basketball players, it's action heroes. And there you go. That's the whole idea. It's 27 of them all stitched together into one. It's about a 105-page book. You can get it at halfwaybooks.com.

It's the only place to get it. No bookstores, no Amazon, nowhere else. Halfwaybooks.com. We're cutting them out. On some Master P, cut out the middleman type of shit. Pop in the trunk. Hell yeah, dude. That's sick.

Yes. Yes. This will eventually lead to you playing in the summer league for the, for the Toronto Raptors. For the Toronto Raptors. I really want to. Yes. That's the, that's the goal of all of this. One of your kids is going to go to USC piggybacking on with like DeMar DeRozan's kid, right?

That's how this is all going to pan out. In my best dreams, that's how it goes, yes. So go to halfwaybooks.com and get that. It's fantastic. Much like every other scouting report, will the Portland Trailblazers figure out a way to mess this one up? Yeah. They're going to have access. They could pick John McClain and they go straight for

fucking Chance Boudreaux from Hard Target. Oh my God. Oh, that made my tummy feel weird. I haven't heard that name since I saw the movie. Holy buckets. Incredible movie. Speaking of which, today

we are auction drafting that is why we have come together we are going to auction draft 90s action movies to celebrate uh jay's new book now for those of you who don't know how the auction draft works the four of us will each start out with 100 we will take turns introducing a movie to be bid upon. And then it's wide open. In the snake draft, once you pick something, it's yours. On this, you introduce something and everybody has a chance to bid on it and add it to their roster of movies to make it even more competitive. We are doing five categories that we have to fill foreign so this is a movie that has to have been made overseas it's a foreign a foreign movie or

by an overseas production company a foreign action movie domestic what if it was made overseas by an american production company yeah so i'm having trouble with it i was having trouble last night i got i got i got, but I'm just curious. Okay. Because one of them, one of the ones on my list is that. Anything that I could even remotely talk about, I think. So could it just be filmed over? Can it be filmed overseas, but like with an American cast,

American production company? I know you. I know you. I know you, you can't tell me that, you know, you could have gotten ahold of me at any, at any point between now and us recording this podcast, but let's definitely,

but this is the, this is the fun part. This is the fun part. Okay, great. This is where I look stupid. Why don't you introduce it? And then we will,

then we will reach a quorum together. Case by case? Case by case. You can introduce it onto the auction block and we will figure out together whether or not it counts. Domestic, now that should be easy. That's a movie made here in the old good old United States of America.

One of the capitals of action movies. Franchise, that is an action movie from an action movie franchise that came out in the 1990s. And then, not an action movie, but sneakily is, this is another one that's going to be up to people's judgment.

It came out in the 90s. It's not roundly considered an action movie, but we will make the case that it is. And then a wild card, a slot where you can put any old action movie into that you want. Those are going to be our categories. We're going to bid from our $100 pools that we all share. And Shay, since you are our guest today, I think you should go ahead and take the first

opportunity to introduce a movie to be bid upon. And we will do that right after we take this first short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid

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The Splendid Table, that was us talking about delightful picnic food. We're auction drafting 90s action movies. Shea Serrano, it is your turn to introduce a movie to be bet upon. All right. I'm going to introduce, since we're struggling with it a little bit,

let me just give you, let's go straight to Foreign. We're going to go straight to Foreign. As soon as you sent me the list and I saw the layout, I said, all right, this is, and I'm going to make sure that this is the movie that I get for Foreign. Directed by John Woo, his masterpiece, his masterpiece. We of course know him in America when he showed up, he did Hard Target, which we were just talking about.

That was his first movie that he directed in America, right? Wasn't that great, but very John Woo-ian. He tries again with Broken Arrow. That one's not that great. And then he finally does exactly what we were hoping he does in 1997 with Face Off. That one's not that great. And then he finally does exactly what we were hoping he does in 1997 with Face Off. That's John Woo. John Woo did that, right? But before that, he was perfecting his skills in Hong Kong cinema. One of the greatest

action movies ever. One of the greatest action heroes ever. 1992's Hard Boiled. Sorry, Chow Yun-Fat. Oh, yeah. Fucking incredible. He plays a clarinet enthusiast slash police inspector with a drinking problem. All he does is talk shit and shoot people. That's all he does. And it's so fucking good.

It's really great. John Woo, one of the greatest ever action directors. He invented the gun fu style that we all fell in love with when John Wick popularized it in America. But he invented that I think it was in 1986 with A Better Tomorrow. It was when he really started like, oh shit, this guy is really out here

doing it. Perfects his style with 1992's Hard Boiled. It has to be in here. It's such a good movie. It's so good. At the end, in the maternity ward? There's like a 35-minute shootout at the end of the movie in a hospital, 15 minutes of which include our hero, Tequila.

His name is Tequila, by the way. His name is Tequila. Because they saw him drinking tequila. His name is Tequila. Checks out. Name is tequila, by the way, because they saw him drinking tequila. His name is tequila. For 15 minutes straight, he's shooting people while holding a little baby girl. She's probably like a month old, maybe. And it just, everybody went crazy when they did this in the Fate of the Furious. Jason Statham did it when he rescued Dominic Toretto's baby off the airplane.

They're like, oh, that's crazy. He put like the ear muffles on a baby and whatever. This is that, but better. And like times 30. Again, there's a part in it where there's a bad guy sneaking around and he's holding a baby and he just tells the baby to shut up and the baby shuts up. It's like, stop crying, baby. And the baby stops crying. There's another part when he gets shot. He gets shot while he's holding the baby. Blood splatters on the baby's face. And he's just like, oh, that's my bad, baby. And just wipes it off real quick.

Sorry, baby. Sorry about that, baby. There's another part, the craziest part. By this point, the baby is in. The baby's like, me and you are heroes in this movie. We're action heroes. Tequila's leg catches on fire from an explosion.

He doesn't know how to put it out. The baby pees on it and puts the fire out. That happens in this movie. It's fucking incredible. Asian babies, man. Asian babies. When we did the

Action Hero Scouting Report, there's a class of people, of characters, who were like, this character has to be in there no matter what makes space for them. Te, this character has to be in there no matter what. Make space for them. Tequila from Hard Boiler is in there.

We have to have it. There we go. There's your forum. How many dollars are you going to start with? It feels like it's got to be expensive because I don't think anybody else has any answers for this category. I want to defend it. It feels like I'm the only one that doesn't fully have an answer, but maybe.

Well, then if it's just you, let me start with $15. $15 of my $100. I'll spend 15% of my spending capital on this movie. We got to immediately go to $20. This movie feels like a portal into the future of what action movies were going to be. Like you said, John Wick takes so much from this.

It's funny and it was my first introduction. I mean, I guess it wasn't my first introduction to John Woo. I think my first introduction to John Woo was probably Mission Impossible 2 which I went back and have been watching. 2000. Yeah, 2000.

So it doesn't qualify for this draft, but I've gone back and started watching all the Mission Impossible movies, and that one is insane. There's a car race where the cars are basically tangoing at one point. They're pointing guns at each other, and the cars smash against each other and spin around in a circle for way longer than cars should be allowed to do. Like that sideways wheels. Yeah. Let's just keep going. Like something,

something Sean Jordan, maybe you could be capable of as a top 1% driver, but it is unpaid, unpaid, unpaid, unpaid. It is so, he's so crazy.

He even manages to get like birds flying into a Mission Impossible movie, like one of the John Woo signatures where there's just pigeons hanging out somewhere and Tom Cruise walks through and all of a sudden there's pigeons. But that movie pales in comparison to Hard Boiled. See now, my dad accidentally introduced me to John Woo

when he was showing me the Jean-Claude Van Damme catalog. This is what I'm finding out. My dad was like, he was showing me the Jean-Claude Van Damme catalog. This is what I'm finding out. My dad was like, he was introducing me to Jean-Claude Van Damme's maybe ninth, eighth studio film and accidentally introduced me to John Woo. So I'm in there. I'm in there too. I'm in the pocket.

Let's say $21. I'll put $22 just to be in there. I like my foreign pick, but let's, yeah, 22. If I could get it, I could get it. Yeah.

All right. No, I want it. Give me 25. So, you know, we have a man, we have a man who wants something and a man who needs something. So this is,

this is where, this is one of the more competitive categories for a movie, even with, even with an expanded fee I'm gonna go I'm gonna take it to $30 that might be as open as my wallet gets we're gonna find out

yeah I'm gonna let you have it because this was all a ruse to get the movie I actually want see this is what I like $31 yes actually want see oh shit this is what i like 31 31 yes yes even after even after the game is revealed listen well dude if she didn't say everything i was i mean i was gonna say it all but because i was a ruse on my end as well but she basically said everything i was about to say

about this movie so yeah 31 well bro if you put bait on a hook and I enjoy eating that bait, did I really fall for it? You know what I mean? Like it's all right. See, this is what happens over on the Patreon, except Ian's usually, he's calling me weird Irish slurs

the whole time, but nobody really cares. Absolutely. Well, I can get away with it as a friend of the Irish people. Hard-boiled, man. I mean, I don't want to show you my tattoo, but you get it. Hard-boiled, man. I mean, I don't want to show you my tattoo, but you get it.

Hard-boiled. It's how I like my eggs. It's how I like my movies. And I'm going to bid $32. Ooh, $32. Coming out, dude. Chow Yun-Fat. Chow Yun-Fat.

I mean, where does he rank in the Hong Kong, Shay, to you, in the Hong Kong martial arts actors pantheon where is he? He's royalty yeah he's royalty he's in that class he's so if you make like a pyramid there's one guy who's

at the top of course and then you start to go a little underneath there he's he's he is in the level right before you get to the second level you know what I mean like he's at the he's like a like a 90 out of before you get to the B's he You know what I mean? Like he's at the, he's like a, like a 90 out of a, before you get to the Bs, he's an A, but he's a low A. He's an A minus.

He's low A. He's low A. You can win it. You can, you can win a championship with him, but he's got to have a lot of talent around it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He's got to have a, he's got to have John Woo with him. He's got to have John Woo and he's got to have several babies. We're $32. Sean Jordan. I'm going to tell you this as a friend. I shan't be going any higher than what I'm about to do. Now I'm telling you that. Why you don't do that? I'm telling you that

because if you go higher you're going to have it. I'm telling you that. Okay. That's an odd strategy. $33. Shay, I'm bad with money. I'm bad with fake money.

I'm bad with real money. I got a lot of shoes. I got a lot of shoes out there that haven't seen the pavement yet. Let's be fully honest with each other. How much of this bit is you just not wanting to get involved in another conversation about a foreign movie? $33 worth because that is my limit. And I will get involved and we will hash it out. And people are going to think that you're actually upset with me if we do have to go down that road because I got some weird shit on there i've been upset with you every day of my life you've been upset with me as far as i

know two times both involving alcohol of yours that i drank that i should not have so and i was wrong both times and i think you can take it down for 33 i think hard boiled is all yours damn i gotta now i might as well throw the rest of my foreign list away, but whatever. That was big. That was big. Yeah, baby.

That was a big, that was a big play. Who's next? It's going to free up a lot of space on your hard drive. Getting rid of your foreign movie database there, Sean. Uh, let's go.

Let's go. Uh, right to, uh, I guess we have an order on here, Sean. It'll go back. Sean, it'll go Shea, Sean, David, Ian. Nuggulars, bruv. All right, let's go into Domestic.

This is pound for pound, to me, one of the best, most iconic action movies. Not going to be able to sound like Shea when I talk about it, but it just has every single thing I want. It's just goofy enough for me to take it seriously. Not going to be able to sound like Shay when I talk about it, but it just has every single thing I want. It's just goofy enough for me to take it seriously. The dialogue is insane. The main villain, the shit he says, he has like 20 lines in there where nobody would ever say that. Cameron Poe looking amazing in the tank top. Oh, shit.

Taking down the Vegas Strip. Star-studded cast. It's got so many people in it. It's great. It's got my boy, John Cusack, who I love. And wearing some business sandals. Dude, he's got so much suit. Big old double-breasted suit.

Yeah, so much suit. Big ass suit. He's got room for the Lord in that suit. Yeah, man. It's Danny Trejo's up in there. John M for the Lord in that suit. Yeah, man. Danny Trejo's up in there. John Malkovich up in there. Of course, Nicolas Cage going con air domestic.

And we're going to start with a gentleman's $15. Out of respect. I got to take it to $20 just because it's worth it. Yeah. It's worth the whole bag, baby. Every time it's on. It's just one of those, you got to stop on it. His accent's just bad enough to be funny, but it's good enough where you're like, I believe him. He's all about his daughter.

The shit Cyrus the Virus says is astonishingly bad. It's just, it's so good. We'll go, I'll take it myself. I'll take it to 25 bucks. I might just be on the sidelines for most of this draft, but I'm out here, baby. Yo, wait, yeah, you just got... Damn. All right. I don't give a shit. I can tell.

Wow. That's a really good pick. This is, I think, my favorite Nick Cage performance in a movie. This is a role where nobody could have done with it what he does with it which is be completely serious yes but also like silly without ever winking at the camera like there's never a moment when he winks not even a little bit like he's he's playing it up i i think uh if you if you look at this if we look at like the history of action movies what this movie is here what his character is here this is is Rambo, but silly. That's what this is.

We took all of the fun stuff from Rambo without any of the trauma that Rambo had. And we're like, there you go. Go 95 miles an hour through a school parking lot, Nick Cage. And then that's what he did. It boggles my mind that they fight the whole movie basically to save this one guy. The whole movie, John Cusack's like, can't shoot the plane down. This guy's trying to get home to his daughter. And then they crash into the Las Vegas strip and kill God knows how many people.

I've been on that strip every hour that you could be on that strip at some point. And I bet you at the lowest level, lowest, 10,000 people died. Whole families. I mean, it's crazy at the end. But nobody on the plane. David, you were there on Christmas. It was packed on Christmas, right? Not in the way that you want it, but yeah.

Yeah. It was packed in a bad way. Yeah. A lot of people looking for the holiday spirit. This movie is pure camp. This movie, like, the way... Oh, dude. He writes a message on the body

and throws it out the fucking plane to try to get it. He turned Dave Chappelle into a Post-it note. That's what he did. He turned Dave Chappelle into a fucking Post-it note. What about Steve Buscemi, the, like, the wackest looking but most terrifying villain you could get

saying not smart smart stuff it's just so good you know who this like this genre of movies connects directly to will ferrell he does seem like a will ferrell there's a direct evolutionary line where it's like i'm going to play something that is patently ridiculous with so much commitment and so much like, like, like passion for whatever this ridiculous thing is. Like they, they both have that. Like the Will Ferrell's best characters are these ridiculous masculine characters that are just a shade more silly than, than like the, these Nicolas Cage characters from the nineties, but it's the same formula. It's the same recipe, you know what I mean? It's like

an ice cream sandwich and a sandwich are both sandwiches. You know what I really liked? How that big dumb criminal could fly the plane. I like it when a big dumb dude can do something real dank. Oh, look at that. She's got Con Air on VHS. On VHS, baby. Look at that box. That's pristine.

Swamp Thing. That's the guy's name who flies the airplane. Shout out Swamp Thing. That's the guy's name who flies the airplane. Shout out Swamp Thing. Yeah, dude. What an incredible name. Also directed by Simon West. Simon West, who he did the mechanic with Jason Statham.

He did The Expendables 2, I believe. Most famously, though, he did Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up music video. Most famously now. Yeah.

Now the streets are talking about it he was on the set on con air he's like i'm directing a big budget nicholas cage movie right now having no idea that this video from his past was just lurking in the undergrowth ready to jump out take his career in his team uh i got 26 are there any other bids? Sean Jordan, you want to? I got to have a couple bucks left. I'll tell you this as a friend right now. Oh, please. I told you something as a friend earlier. If you go to $27 on this,

I'll let you have it. See, this is what happened, Shay. I'm weak. I see. I see. He's dangling it. I know how much you love this movie and just as a friend,

I'm willing to get out of the game for $27. I see. He's dangling it. I know how much you love this movie. And just as a friend, I'm willing to get out of the game for $27. $27. He said that in the lowest possible font that you could have. Like the smallest font. $27. All lowercase. Size six. Like I just lost a fight and I was like I wanted to lose

Helvetica yeah yeah I meant to lose Helvetica alright take it down for 27 unless anybody has any other beds oh

you didn't even you got it I like Con Air I don't I didn't necessarily want it on there but I do think I do think it's a great movie

oh I mean who are we talking it's a perfect movie of course it's a great movie this is so. Cameron Poe is in the Action Hero Scouting Report. I spent all my arcade money on the claw machine

and you guys are going to be out here playing actual video games. He's got boulders. His shoulder game in that movie, by the way, he's got boulders up there. He looks great. Weird hair. The hair that he's got going on the hair.

It's so bad and awesome it's like a yeah superhero cape for his head that's what it when i see it that's what i'm like that's what it's just blowing in the wind i accidentally killed a couple people anyway david it's your your turn to present all right i am gonna go franchise here we go start with franchise i'm gonna take the 1995 hit i don't know if it was a hit but i love this movie i'm taking desperado oh dude oh yeah son of a bitch okay no no it's got everything i want it's got a small town it starts with a guy telling a mystical story it ends up being his brother they burn the bookstore it's got everything i need in a movie i love that his name is el mariachi i love that he has a guitar case full of guns that they pick up at the end by the way because just in case

i'm taking i'm taking out I'm taking Desperado, and I'm going to start with $15. That's great. I have a framed, like I have this Blood In, Blood Out poster on the other wall is a Desperado poster framed. I fucking love that movie. It's so good. It's my favorite one in that series.

It's just so good. It's the best one in that series. Can I ask a question about franchise stuff? Yeah So With this one This one came out in 95 The one before it came out A little before then

With regard to franchise stuff If you draft a movie Do you get the entirety Of that franchise? I mean I guess In theory It seems like you should

Right? Or do you only get rights To that one you only get the right oh i see what you mean could you take a different movie from this franchise so if somebody took like i'm gonna take a movie that's if you took the fast and the furious could someone then take fast seven later on well because el mariachi was like two years before but i think no i think once a movie from that franchise is taken, I think that let's eliminate that franchise from the bidding.

What I'm thinking is with Die Hard, for example. The original Die Hard comes out in 1988. Arguably the greatest, most important action movie we've ever gotten. Speak on it. Die Hard 2 comes out in 1990. Die Hard 3 is 1995.

If I were to pick Die Hard 3, Die Hard with a Vengeance, which is entirely underrated, do I also get credit for the Die Hard 1988 championship ring? No, you do not. You don't get credit for it,

but nobody could play Die Hard 2. Right. This is still the only, I still got what I wanted. But nobody, so I think you, you only get the movie you drafted, but nobody can take any other movies

from that franchise. Now, here's my question. I had this on my foreign films list. Would that have counted? No. No, that's not. This is an American movie. See, this is great that we didn't have to get into this conversation

what a good foreign film what a good conversation we don't have to have Robert Rodriguez also from San Antonio right yeah Robert Rodriguez is a Texan baby yeah doesn't get more

American than that it's as American as brisket on Hanukkah. I also love that Antonio Banderas is from like Spain. Not even like, but it's fine. It's fine because he's cool. Is this the same thing that happened when Selena was coming out with Jennifer Lopez? And everybody was like, she's Puerto Rican. She can't play Selena. Selena was Mexican.

And then the movie came out and she's fucking awesome in it and then everyone was like it's okay it's fine, like if you do a good job, yeah don't make a habit of it Catherine Seda Jones is Welsh yeah, yeah, yeah

what? Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is like Irish, not a drop of Jewish blood in her. But we all came together and we gave her the A-OK just based on Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It's like she's Jewish now. Yeah, if they do a good job, you're good. You're square. You're fine.

Green light. Green light. Happy to have you. David, how much did you bid? I bid 15. Oh, let's go 20. I'll take 22. I'll go 25.

I'll go 27. It is framed on the wall. Shay, you're giving me a good argument here. I'm going to tell my wife that you're very successful and you have framed posters of movies that you like on your wall. And I'm hoping that's going to translate to the Jordan household. Good luck. I do believe this is in your office, not your house, right?

This is in office 30 minutes from my home, so. Maybe leave that part out, Sean. I'll say that it's connected to your home like ours is, but office all the same. 31. 31. Here we go. People have scarcely looked

more gorgeous in an action movie. 35. This is like me with hard-boiled over here. They just gotta have it. I mean, I understand. people have scarcely looked more gorgeous in an action movie 35 this is like me with hard boiled over here they just gotta have it I mean I understand is he the hottest lead dude in an action movie he's very sexy I'm wondering if I want

my other on the list enough to go this is the there are two categories I wanted to take I'll go 37 wow see it's fun to watch all right give me 40

oh you gotta take it you can take it for 40 I ain't got it wait before you let it go go google Antonio Banderas I know. I've seen the movie a bunch of times. Listen, also, Salma,

it's a sexy, sexy film. It's sexy. I got some other stuff I want to do. On the other side of the wall, it's probably the sexiest poster they got. When you said 40, Isaac's part went to the other side of his hair, dude. It did. I mean,

this is a perfect movie. Listen, El Mariachi, the character, of course, Antonio Bandetta, one of only three guys ever in history

to wear a ponytail and have it look good. It's him. It's Eric Roberts in Best of the Best. And it's Danny DeVito. Oh, shit. Danny DeVito in Twins.

Those are the only three. That's my guy. That's it Eric Roberts and best of the best my mom would she would she wouldn't let me talk when he was on screen at best of the best I mean not even Oscar Isaac

Oscar Isaac wore a ponytail in 2008 body of lies couldn't do it but El Mariachi these are all of the tests that El Mariachi passes as an action hero passes the good with guns test kills a bar full of goons on his own But El Mariachi, these are all of the tests that El Mariachi passes as an action hero. Passes the good with guns test. Kills a bar full of goons on his own.

The good at hand-to-hand combat test. We watch him snap a guy's neck with one arm. He passes the good pain tolerance test. He basically gets surgery performed on him while he's awake. He does. And he's fine. He passes the very cool essence test. I think he's the coolest action hero we've ever seen. The very cool essence test.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. The very cool backstory test. I think he's the coolest action hero we've ever seen. Oh, yeah. The very cool backstory test. He's a heartbroken musician. That's why he's mad, because he's trying to find the guy who's responsible for the death of his loved one. And then, oh, by the way, he runs into Salma Hayek, and now that's his due loved one. He passes the iconic imagery test. He has the guitar case full of guns. The plot twist test, which is the bad guy he's searching for ends up being his older brother.

The unexpected superpower test. He hears people walking upstairs 50 feet away. Just wakes up. He's got supersonic hearing. He passes the doesn't look back at explosions test. The rage face test.

The catchphrase test. The great friends test. He has friends. He makes one phone call. Two guys show up ready to fight to the death. No questions asked at all. The unexpected fun adversary test. Danny Trejo, fucking knife-throwing monster in there.

The Jason Williams awesome showboat test. He's in a gunfight for no reason, just shooting behind his back. When a normal gunshot would be better, he's just pa-pow, pa-pow, pa-pow. Well, there's a reason. It's right here. The morality test and the happy ending test. There was no way I was walking out. I would have spent $99 to get this one.

So I feel like at $40, I saved $59. See, now that'll get you in trouble. That's some logic right there that I have a tough time with but yes that is how I think I'm on the board baby big players big players

now there's another one I mean listen if we're playing heavy hitters crew right off the bat I have to introduce in the category of franchise Terminator 2 judgment day. Yeah. And again, out of respect, I'm opening the bidding at $20.

I'm taking it to 25. Well, right now question we can with this wild card. You have $40. Question. Do I have to fill all five categories? We can put anything in our wild card right so like it's not like the one we did the okay any old movie shit i do only have 40 bucks huh

30 30 okay great oh my god 40 so first pair of jordans only pair of jordans I ever had I have one in the garage whatever only pair of Jordans I had until a couple years ago I got the day my grandpa took me to see Terminator 2 and I remember sitting in the theater he had to talk me off the nuclear war ledge because I was like wait a minute wait a minute

what a good grandpa I was like I go that bomb she's on the fence and now that bomb hit downtown and what you know I was like what year go, that bomb, she's on the fence, and now that bomb hit downtown. And what, you know, I was like, what year did it come out? 91. 91? So I was 10. So I was just like, Grandpa, can that happen?

And now I look back, and he's like, in his mind, he's like, I mean, yeah, but obviously I'm not going to tell you that. I'm going to get you some Jordans instead. Oh, yeah. Your grandpa knew better than anyone. He's like, let me tell you about another explosion, and that is Michael Jordan exploding off the hardwood from the free throw.

I mean, this movie is so... I just watched it like a week ago, probably. It's just funny enough. None of it's corny. I don't know. It all holds up. Eddie Furlong's great. Linda Hamilton's so great, so buff. Ian's betting $35

just to keep that moving while we're talking. Fucking James Cameron. Yeah. Also, I just watched Terminator 1 last night just to get me in the mood. Again, a movie from the 80s, but just to get me in the mood

for this. To have Arnold come back. Come back. Genius. Genius. but just to get me in the mood for this to have Arnold come back come back genius and now he's a good guy yes great move two scenes that scene in Terminator 2

the first time she sees him Lynn Hamilton sees him is so tense even though you know it's going to happen she's terrified where the Terminators meet and Eddie Furlong's in the middle where you see him and you're like what what's gonna happen because they're both terminators you don't know wild also the the the leap that uh that uh oh my god just blanked on her name we were just talking about that linda hamilton makes from the first movie to then she comes back in the second movie shredded dude dude learn spanish like a block of Parmesan. Like, making a believable journey from, like, very scared, like, waitress who doesn't know what's going on in the first movie to in the second one.

You're like, I would follow this woman into the depths of hell and wouldn't even look behind me. I don't know why they would teach her how to use a nightstick in the hospital, but they clearly did because she was there since the first movie, from what I take it, and she had nightstick skills. She went south, dude, at the end of the first movie. She's great. In part one, you're exactly right. In part one, she's fucking made of sunflowers and feathers. Yeah. And then

in part two, she's a chainsaw made of razor blades. Completely. Did y'all watch the Arnold documentary on Netflix? Not yet. Not yet. I haven't seen it yet. So it came out.

I was in the middle of working on this or at the end of it. And I said, well, let me check out and see what's going on. Then they break it down into three episodes. The first episode is his career as a bodybuilder. Then the second is as an actor. And then the third is a politician. And during the actor one, he talks about uh before they went to shoot terminator 2 uh james cameron calls him and tells him hey let's go get dinner me you and linda

and linda walks in and she takes her jacket off and he's talking about how just fucking ripped she is and he's like this son of a bitch is more shredded than i am like it's a great but yeah yeah it's what yeah. What a great pick. This should be the winner of this category. Whoever gets this movie should win this category at least. Yeah. We mentioned Die Hard being maybe the greatest ever. If you're going to make an argument against it,

this is a movie that you put up against it. You know what I mean? This, to me, might be the 90s-est. I know it came out in 91, so it's early in the decade. But still, it might be the movie, if not the 90s, at least the first half of the 90s. When I think about that period. I remember it.

I remember this coming out. You saw it in the drive-in. I remember going to Subway and realizing I was seeing marketing for the first time because I saw Subway T2 cups. The dirt bike? Yeah. I had the motorcycle that he was on and you could press the button and he flipped off. Are those, is that like collectible?

These are Terminator 2 trading cards that I have in my office. Yeah. That's a man. Incredible movie. Oh, I'll trade you two Miles Bennett Dysons for an Arnold Schwarzenegger. It had Budnick. Budnick was in it. Budnick from Salute Your Shorts?

Yeah. That's right. The arcade scene, easy money, like ATM were pretty new to me. I don't even think I knew what an ATM was. I was like, motherfucker's getting money out of the wall. Getting in the LA River, dude. Iconic. Iconic movie.

I remember watching that, the arcade scene and seeing the part where the T-1000 goes up to Budnick and he's like, have you seen this kid? And Budnick, without even flinching,

is like, nah, I don't know him. And then immediately goes and tells him, hey, that cop's like, I was like, that's a fucking good-ass friend. I want to be a friend like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a homie. $35. Also, the first movie, maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure, Shay, you could speak to it more. But where they use that morphing technology or whatever, where they would switch. Or he came out of the floor, that whole shit. Oh, yeah.

And it looks good today. It does look good today. That's the James Cameron difference, man. Also, in the seven the like in the what seven years six years seven years between terminator one and this movie the special effects like the leaps they made oh yeah in the first one there's some of those scenes where in the where like arnold's there with like this big fake arnold mask on and it looks corn it looks bad you know and then and then fast forward seven years

and you've got, you know, the Terminator, the T-1000 walking through a chain link fence and you're like, yes, I buy that. I buy that 30 years later. You need to up a sequel. You have an iconic first movie and you need to up it with a sequel.

James Cameron is who you call. He did it with Alien. Yes. And he shows up with Aliens. He does it here. Like that's that's that fucking dude right there. That's the dude. When Titanic 2 comes out you're going to feel the ocean spray on your face. Titanic dude. Wait is that not the T2 we're bidding on?

35? I even thought it was Titanic 2 dude. Shit, shit, shit. Oh yeah, you can have it. Shay, it's back to you to introduce a movie for betting. All right. Let me see what I got here. Let me look at my list.

Okay. Man, I got a little excited. I was going to ask a question here for some clarification. Jurassic Park. Is that an action movie? I don't. I think so. I was going by IMDB.

So if IMDB called it action, I was kind of going off of that. I mean, what are we saying the parameters are? There's not a ton of guns. Is that? Yeah. That's a good call. There's a lot of running. There's a lot of jumping.

I mean, there's action sequences in it, but I don't know if it's disqualified because it has dinosaurs. It's fantasy and sci-fi. There's also murderous villains. I'm glad we're having this conversation because I think, so like, if we were looking at everything

in a broad, zoomed out kind of way, you would say, oh, sure, compared to A Room with a View, yes, Jurassic Park is an action movie uh-huh but we're like in it right yeah so we're like in it like we're in so like i think you could kind of put it in non-action movie yeah i think it goes non-action for i think you can put it in non-action

i think it fits there i don't think it fits for domestic maybe wild card is that where you're trying to put it i was thinking mainly for a franchise i mean i already have my franchise but i just want a clarification for as i make my way uh through this i i felt like i felt like we would handle it like that famous court case where the guy was like how do you know when it's pornography yes and he's like you just know it when you like i'll tell you you throw something on i'll let you know i can figure one i know there's proof all over the floor yeah you just throw it on and i'll be like that's porn or i'll be like no all right let me let me let me go domestic then let me go domestic let me go with the movie that, for me anyway, has the greatest action set piece of any 90s action movie that we've seen.

The most iconic moment. End of the movie. Guy has to save his girlfriend. There's only one way to do it, and that's to jump out of the airplane with no parachute on. Give me Johnny Utah Point Break. Yeah, man. Come on. 1991, directed by Catherine Bigelow.

It's a perfect action movie. It's perfect. It's about to get expensive. Perfect. You know what, Kill Me? The remake is such a bummer, dude. It's real bad. I just don't know why they had to do that.

Speaking of movies, I mean, some movies, they remake them and it's like, alright, I saw why they had to do that. Speaking of movies, like, I mean, some movies you want to, they, they remake them and it's like, all right, I saw why you wanted to do that. And maybe this is me being 38 years old, but if I go back and watch point break, I'm not like, I need this updated.

I don't understand what's going on. I thought I, I get it. It makes sense. Just take it, copy paste, move it to now. You can watch it this year and it still rips.

It's fantastic. What's the opening. It's fantastic. What's the opening bid? It's fantastic. $20. $20 is the opening bid. From the moment it starts until the moment it ends. You got Patrick Swayze as Bodhi.

Pat Swayze, dude. Just a perfect villain. Yeah, it's got Flea. I mean, come on, dude. The whole scene where they break into... Anthony Kiedis mean, come on, dude. The whole scene where they break into... Anthony Kiedis. Sorry, sorry, sorry. The whole scene where they break into the house, it's like one of the most accurate, like, holy shit, they're on

heavy meth. His name is Johnny Utah. What an action movie. Johnny Utah. Quarterback for where? Ohio State. Ohio State.? Ohio State. Ohio State. Buckeyes.

The Ohio State. The Ohio State. Dude, it's got Tank Girl in it. It's all over the place, man. Yeah. Real fast, we'll run through the 14 things he does in action in Point Break. This is Johnny Utah. This is Johnny Utah.

He confidently cocks a shotgun with one hand in the rain. He crushes five separate blockers on his way to tackling an open field runner into the ocean during a game of beach football. He gets into a fight with a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He goes surfing at night despite not being able to go surfing during the day. He shows up late to a raid because he was making love to a woman on the beach. Yes. He gets into a close range shootout and then tackles a guy through a window

and then nearly gets his face ripped off by an upturned lawnmower during a fight. He thwarts a bank robbery and gets a pit bull thrown at him during a foot chase. He goes skydiving with bank robbers after they know he's an FBI agent. He gets forced into participating into an actual bank robbery. He gets shot in the chest.

He gets pistol whipped. He gets arrested by the FBI. He gets his partner killed like three minutes after his partner saved him from going to jail. And then he jumps out of an airplane with no parachute. It's fucking perfect. It's perfect. $27. Now Isaac's in the bathroom, so he can't. Come on. It's perfect. $27. Now Isaac's in the bathroom, so he can't.

$30. $35. It's so good. I got to keep track. Your boy John Philbin is great in this. Oh, my God. Speaking of. Who is John Philbin?

Is he the FBI guy? Yeah, he works for the FBI. Okay. No, John McGinley. John McGinley. John C. McGinley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dr. Cox.

Oh, yeah, John C. McGinley. Dr. Cox. Playboy, hell yeah. Let's go into platoon. John Philbin, somebody else. Your boy, John McGinley. And yes, you bother me. Oh, God.

John C. McGinley, dude. Can we just... That dude does not get the shine he deserves. I feel like he's kind of starting to get it, but he is so good in every single thing he's in. Every single thing he's in. He's such a man. Dude, he's so...

And he gives a shit about every single role. Like, he goes to the map for... Sorry, this isn't about Johnny C., but he's just... He's fantastic. If you watch the director's commentary version of Seven, there's a part where David Fincher and Brad Pitt are like, they're talking through the movie.

And then we get to the part, John C. McGinley has a really small part in there where he's the helicopter pilot. And as soon as they show him, they just, they go fucking nuts just talking about how great this guy, like it's so good. It's so good. Wait, though, do I get it for 35? 36.

Wait, who, who, Ian bet 36? I just did 36 dollars. I'm it for $35? $36. Wait, who did Ian bet $36? I just did $36. I'm at $65. Okay. And I'm built for war. $36, you can take it. $37. It's so good.

It's so good. It's so good. Dude, Gary Busey's in it. Being gary bucey gary bucey is he's like not quite gary bucey yet you know yeah i mean he is but he's he's still real calm in this he hasn't gone full bucey he's yeah he's got one foot in the real world it's not scary yet he was already he was mr joshua so he had that. And this is his coming out. I'm going to say some words, Gary Busey. Dude, this is like Catherine Bigelow at her peak.

It's big. This is Swayze near his peak. It's this roadhouse. I mean, like, what do you like? Right around his point break, if you will. Right around his point break. This is Keanu at the beginning of like a beautiful journey for him oh my god yes he does really is he does he does this speed the matrix and john wick over the course of the next 25 years

and then he's so lovable in this he's so charming and he's really not even trying to be he just is to me he's just he's just so. He just seems like such a good dude. I am an FBI agent. Alright, you just talked me to $38. Oh my god! $39!

Oh man! See, dude? And then this is how it goes. A bunch of $1 at the end. Give it to me, Ian. Just let me have it. I mean, he's already at $39. You're not going not a bunch of $1 at the end give it to me Ian just let me have it I mean he's already at $39 you're not going to push it to $1 $1

$40's got a nice even number to it $40 was probably Ian what about the fugitive can I interest you in the fugitive these are all fine movies nobody's robbing a bank he's scrambling

He's throwing bodies What's it gonna take to get you to come to Dallas He's throwing cadavers at you Trying to get you to swerve Ian what about The Rock It's a great movie but it's not as good Cause this movie has everything The Rock has And it's like

I'm bidding $40 I am coming to the table with $40 in my hand for this. $41. Oh, $42, $42, $43. Dude,

you guys are laying them both out on the table. Come on, $44 and $44. I don't know if I can go higher. I don't know if I can go higher than $44. You couldn't even be in this one. You're going to run out of, all right,

$40. You got me 40 me. $40. $45. Oh, God. Man, where's your Point Break poster framed at? Is that like in your bedroom? Is that why you're going so high? It's right above our bed.

And look at it. When Laramie and I make love to each other, we both look at Johnny Utah and Boda Staffa. You got to do it sideways. We have to make love sideways so we can both see it. Bodie. Man, my neighbor's dog, so this old dude

dug in the backyard. His dog's named Bodie and I was like, it can't be because of Bodie. And then Laura asked him, why Bodie? Because I was like, there's no way it Bodhi and then Laura asked him why Bodhi because she was because I was like there's no way it's that she goes it might be and he goes it's point break reference man he's like 75 it's sick

$47 you can have it for 60 bucks is that what I spent on hot sauce 60 bucks I think it was 60 bucks something crazy like that I'd like to point out that David has no picks, nothing drafted. We've seen it. That's okay.

I know where I'm at. I know where I'm at. I'd like to point out that I have Terminator 2 and Point Break. I'm set. $18. I'm set. And enough for an entree at Cheesecake Factory. What am I going to spend the $18 on?

Not point break? You know what I mean? I'm good. So, am I up? Isaac, am I up? Yes, sir. Yes, you are. Man, that was tough, man.

My stomach. Oh, I'm breathing all heavy. You weren't even in it. I know, man. I was getting caught up, dude. That was fun. Ain't no hurt. All right.

Let's go. Let's just broach the non-action, the sneaky one. Broach away. Yeah. So I'm going to say for my sneaky non-action, and it doesn't say action on IMDb, but I'm going to say Fargo. How do we feel about that? Is that an action movie?

He throws a body into a wood chipper. There are guns. There's murder. I know it's like a mystery thriller. There's a lot of action. Buscemi's face wound is an issue through the whole movie. There's the chase scene in the house. There's action stuff.

I think it's pretty action-y. It's action-y. Far do you think it's pretty actiony it's actiony fargo it's about hitman yeah there's you know it's got the action stuff cops uh guns death there's crazy scenes like a gig in the wood chipper scene all that stuff he chate the chasing someone down and popping them what's that guy's name? It's not a scars guard. What's his name? Peter stormier, Peter stormier,

right? Yeah. Peter stormier. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I'd see, I don't know.

So this is kind of where, cause to me, I honestly thought it would say action crime mystery or something on IMDb. So to me, it's action, but what do you guys think? It could be a sneaky non-action. I think it's,

I think it's fair for a sneaky. I think it's okay. I think it's okay for this, for-action. I think it's okay for this category. I'm going to say $10. You can have it. You got it. I also I'm going to tell you

right now that the non-action category is where I'm going to win the draft. I'm going to just let you know ahead of time. I got it locked up. I did so much research last night to get ready. So you can have it. If Ian had more than $18, he

wouldn't give it to me, but he doesn't. I do love the movie Fargo. You don't agree with it? See, I feel bad. I don't want any dispute. I just don't want it. I have a non-action movie that I am also very happy with that hopefully I'll be able to get.

As long as we're not in dispute. So we all agree it's cool. That's an okay pick for that category. I'm not like cheating. Okay. I wouldn't say it's cool, but yeah, you get it. Shut up, dude. You know what I meant.

Like how the kids say cool. Ripped your face off, bro. It's going to be hard to reenter the pageant without a face, Playboy. All right, David. I'm going to go non-action too. What do you guys think about this? I'm going to take Home Alone. Yes!

Yes! Absolutely. Non-action, Home Alone, and I'm cheap. I'm going to start at five bucks. Shit! Ten. Sean? I can put Fargo in my wild card, can't I?

Oh, yeah, okay. If I want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you definitely can't. I can't? No, wild card is for action movies. That's fair, so yeah. I will be the man who bids 10.

God damn it. That's such a good pick, dude. I'll go as high as 15. And that eliminates me from contention. No, 16. You can do 16. Do 16. You can do 16.

Make him do it. You can push me to the brink. Will you go 17? It's a great movie. It is a great movie. And then what do I have to fill in? Foreign and wild card. For each for a dollar.

For a dollar. Boy, oh boy. People could really knock me around the court. Just to let you know i have another sneaky action so like i could i almost spit that was good because he goes i'll let you have it such a good sneaky action movie this is a great pick yeah it's it's a fantastic sneaky action i need to stay in the draft a little bit so i'll let you have it i was listening to i was listening to the radio when i take Max to daycare.

It's just the radio. I forget the conversation, but one of the DJs goes to the other one. He's like, you've seen Home Alone, right? Yeah, dude. Yes, I've seen Home Alone. Isaac, wait. Wait. This has been coming up lately. Have you seen Home Alone? Of course I've seen Home Alone.

Okay, don't do that because you've never seen Cool Runnings, so I don't know what the fuck's going on. Never heard of Cool Runnings. I mean, yeah, I've seen all the kids stuff. Cool Runnings is a kids movie. Is it? I guess we didn't explain it like that at all.

We were like, a bunch of Rastafarians go to Cookies. It was dark. It was dark, dude. And for that conversation, you guys have to go to their Patreon. Oh, yeah. That's true. Oh, wow.

I forgot that that was in there. There he goes. Producing. Let the producer produce. Time for me to introduce a movie. And I'm going to introduce into the foreign movie. It is an English language movie, but produced by a foreign director, produced for overseas. I'm going to take the movie Leon the Professional.

Yeah, that was on my list. I have to open the bidding for $1. And I'm not out of disrespect to Luc Besson, just because I have to be wary of my budget at this point. Yeah. See, this is where, this is how I win, where I can come in for five. You can't. Can somebody explain to me how this is a foreign film, though?

Okay, well, it's a French movie, right? It was made by French people released in France first? Yeah, it's a French movie. They just did it in English. So it is, it is,

it's, yeah, made by Gaumont, directed by Luc Besson, released in France first. It's technically a French movie. Are we okay with it? I'm okay. I added up a list of four movies. When have I ever given a fuck about anything?

Is it two different movies, or is it just the same movie? They just released it there first and then here. Released it there first and then here. So the Portman's in both? That's what you think. Yeah.an renault gary oldman gary oldman as unhinged as you'll see him in any movie and that's saying something the gary old man the old man dude uh leon about a uh assassin who who decides he has to protect this young lady played by Natalie Portman. It's great. If you haven't seen it, it's great.

A little weird, but it's great. Why is it weird? Just the relationship they have? There's a light sexualization of Natalie Portman's character who is like for sure 12. But not by Leon though, right? By the movie, by the director or whatever.

By the director, yeah. There's a French lens on this movie. But like the storyline, it's not like Leon's weird or anything. That's all good. He's very sweet. They have a very sweet relationship. Yeah, I know what you mean. She's definitely sexualized.

Which, yes, that's weird. Why did I ask you ask? Because it's fun to talk about things on a podcast. It's good to have a discussion. And it looks like I will be taking the professional with me. I just said, oh, no, never mind. Are you not going to go past five? I already got my four over here.

Yeah, I bid five. Oh, you bid five. I'm sitting pretty with my four in film. Six. Dude, I can't stop watching four in film. I didn't even want it. It's almost crazy. I just wanted to push it up. You can't stop watching foreign films. I didn't even want it. It's almost crazy. I just wanted to push it up.

You can take it. That's all right. I do want it. Yeah, you do want it. You do want it. Maybe I say seven then, just because I know you do want it. Do you say seven? I say seven.

You motherfucker. I almost had to have you guys pick a specific year because I'm like- It was on my list. I'm always, always in a bath in foreign movies. So it's like, was like what year you know because there's just too many to pick from if you don't know if you narrow down to a decade what am i going to do you know it's a whole nother podcast you can have it for seven really yeah oh okay

that did kind of backfire because i kind of want my phone yeah i kind of want my phone i kind of want my phone better but i of want my form. I kind of want my form better. But I can put this in wildcard, right? You absolutely can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of want my form better. If you're okay with having that filth in your wildcard slot, that's fine with me. That's filth.

My wildcard slot is for filth. That's the only place I've got it in me. That's a wildcard, baby. Shay, it's back to you to introduce a movie. All right. Let me do my wild card. Oh, wait. I keep doing this wrong.

I keep going to category. I can just say a movie and then... Say a movie and then you can say where you put it afterwards. Okay. All right. All right. All right. I'm going to grab a movie that was part of one of the all-time great action movie runs ever.

Give me The Rock, 1996. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Directed by the King, Michael Bay. Yes. Who, from 1995 to 1998, he does Bad Boys, an action movie classic. He does The Rock, an action movie classic. He does Armageddon, an action movie classic.

And he does Bad Boys 2, an action movie classic. And in Armageddon in action movie classic. And he does Bad Boys 2 in action movie classic. And in between those two, he had also Pearl Harbor. That's not an action movie classic. But he does four out of five. Fucking crazy. Sean Connery, of course, is great in there. Nick Cage is in there. We got Ed

Harris playing the most Ed Harris role he's ever done. The most Ed Harris role. the baldest, strongest, a man has ever been. And this also catches Nick cage when he's doing his con air, the rock and face off run. Yeah.

Like I feel like this is a steal at $10. That is a steal. Where are you putting it? I'll put it in. I'll put it in domestic. I feel like this is a steal at $10. That is a steal at $10. Where are you putting it? I'll put it in domestic. $10? I think I could swim from Alcatraz. I think I could do it.

She's a big money guy too these days. I think about it every time I'm at the bay. I look and I'm like, if my life depended on it, I think I could do it. I really do. It's cold. It's choppy. I think i could do it i really do it's cold it's choppy i think i could do it if my life was on the line have you looked at it from there have you been to alcatraz and looked back you know people tried right we were on like we were anchored on a boat at alcatraz i never actually stepped foot on alcatraz but we were anchored at the island and i looked and i I was... $12. Pardon me. I think I can do it.

It's one of those crazy things, I believe. I don't even see you swim strokes much in a pool, let alone... But, alright. Sean, you can do it, Sean. You can do it. I've never... Thank you for saying it. I appreciate it. You should just do it. Don't even train. David, don't act like we're out there swimming when we're in pools.

Only thing I'm doing is swimming over to get another white cloth. That's what I mean. So I've never seen you swim in prowess. $15, huh? $15 for the rock. That's not like I'd breaststroke the whole way, but I could get it done, I think. Losers whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

There it is. Call it was the prom queen. Clack, clack. That was really good. I'm feeling very good about this pick because we did all of that talk about Point Break and you never did an impression as soon as we bring up The Rock.

You go straight into it. I feel real good. At $15, give it to me. Ooh, $17. Ooh. Yeah, there we go. $20. The two money bags over here. You know what else this movie has that's great? Is like bad guys who are

convinced they're right which is always nice you know what i mean you think they're doing something better for the i love it and then he get and then they turn he turns at the you knew ed harris wasn't going to go through with it you knew he couldn't kill all those americans not ed harris no sir come on this is the movie where you get nicholas cage falling to his knees holding two flares while Harris, no sir. Come on. He's too bald. He's too stern for that. This is the movie where you get Nicolas Cage falling to his knees holding two flares while fighter jets fly over him? Yes, yes, yes. Great shot. That should be the visual accompaniment

to the national anthem. They should play that at every sporting event. You also get, we see, they talk about how impossible it is to break out of your prison cell in Alcatraz and then we watch Sean Connery do it in like five seconds with the fucking sheet. He just whips it down there. He goes like, here you go.

I'm out. Hell yes. Give me the rocket 20 bucks. I will not give that order. I cannot give that order. Those green, like the little green globes in the glass full of what? Like sore on gas or something like that. Come on.

David, you got it. You got 20 bucks, huh? There it is. Come on, 20 bucks. I'll go 22. I'll go 22 for the rock. 25. You know there was a phone call about Sean Connery negotiating front and center on that VHS cover. Yeah, absolutely.

It always bothers me when the names don't match up with the faces. I hate that. I hate that too. 27. 28. 28. This and Bad Boys 2 are his Michael Bay-esque movies.

Yeah, I mean... This is the Bay too, dude. I know, that's what i'm thinking 29 it was on there early now we're splitting 30 30 30 60 32 just go just go get bad boys too david it's right there it's 33 33 really yeah sick oh 33 you got money david i do got money i'll take it to 35 i'll take it to 35 36 david wow rashid wallace wasn't on the blazers i might like i might gotta let you get that and go get some other shit I want. Yeah. Rock. Alright, going once. This is a great strategy that David employs

is that he does it without attachment. He's not attached to any pic. No, I live, yeah. You know what? You can take it. I got what I want. Let me tell you what just happened. I got the premier action movie director of the me tell you what just happened. I got the premier action movie director

of the 90s, Michael Bay, and I got the premier action movie actor of the 90s, Nick Cage, and, and,

two times now, movies that David desperately wanted ripped away from his hands. Oh, desperately is not the word, baby.

Desperately is not the word, baby. Desperately. Desperately is not the word, baby. Desperately. Desperately. Desperately. A pierced love is not like that of a square. I'm open to all kinds of stuff. Oh, boy.

All right. Sean, do I have you to introduce a movie? All right. Wild card. oh boy all right Sean Jordan never viewed an introduction movie all right wild card it's in my top 10 sometimes top 5 favorite movies of all time my favorite ensemble cast I think

ever true romance that's not an action movie out of your no I don't think it's an action movie, bro. Go to IMDb. I don't think we need to. Let's hold court. It's very violent.

It's very violent. Are you insane? David, do you think it's an action movie? I do, but I also have a bunch of money, so I much like most rich people, I don't care about your problems. It's a crime. It's a crime movie, not an action movie. It doesn't ring action movie to me.

I think you could maybe put it in non-action if you were feeling froggy, but it's a crime. I feel like the same way. It doesn't say action on IMDb. I had enough gusto to not even look it up, and here I am looking it up, having to eat my own words. I could have used that in my non-action movie. You could have. That would have been

way better than Fargo. Yeah. Is that your non-action pick, Darren the Chipper? Shit, man. Well, alright. Bounce back, baby. Bounce back, Sean. Alright. Independence Day. Oh, that's a good one. There you go.

There you go. get in the game Sean that's the formula with me I do a stinker and then it either it barely gets accepted or it gets shot down and then I come back with something alright so Independence Day in the wild card

I really don't think I'm getting a lot of pushback from David in my franchise so five bucks just to see where we're at. $6. Welcome to Earth. Yeah, it's a domestic movie. Ten bucks. Let's see what's up.

Yeah. What's up? The bet. The bid, rather. $11. Lucky number 11. Lucky number 12. No, that ain't a lucky number.

13's a lucky number playboy just stamp it let's move on we can quit talking about it $13 done deal 1996 when this movie came out it hit so hard I remember the whole rollout the whole rollout I'm looking at the wikipedia

right now I'd love to tell Will Smith is this not the coming out party for sure, but is this the Coronation of Will Smith? I think it stamped it This is like, you are Yeah, he's the guy The or the guy

And I think it's Jeff Goldblum coming out Jurassic Park was 93 Right? 92? The first Jurassic Park is 93 He was really like He was really like um uh he was really like that in Jurassic Park but this is the first one where he got to be like a strong like leading um uh uh like that so I'd this this gave me the ums and uhs for Jeff Goldblum too this movie fucked around and made 817 million dollars how much did it cost to make 75 god did it come out on on july

4th it came out on july 3rd july 3rd yeah uh judd hirsch is in this but i love i love a little judd hirsch action isn't harvey firestone in it harvey firestein is in it yeah david i've gotta call my mother oh he picks up the can my god in heaven holding a can to put in the recycling as aliens are poised to destroy the whole planet it's such it's so funny all the catchphrases are fun randy quaid has like three catchphrases when he's flying into the ship hey boys I'm back he just says like three different cuts to catchphrases you got Robert Loja basically playing General Patton

in this thing it's like amazing Loja in military dress sign me up for that movie a lot of can you say that again what yeah like yeah no you heard me bro I said there's aliens out so I, I mean. They give a spaceship a cold, bro.

$14. I'm in. Yeah. You know, they do. $16. Ah, damn it. All right. Well, that was fun.

$19 out of spite here. I'll take 20 bucks for that. Oh, yeah. This is what having money does, huh? Yeah. $21. Sean. You know David's not going to let you

bid him out of a Harry Connick Jr. movie. Come on, $22. Sean, you don't want to do this. I'm talking on the knee, poised to kiss the booty. Sean, you can't have $2 and have three picks left. You're already out.

Kick the tires and light the fires. No, I only have two picks. Sean's got 30. Sean's got have two picks. Sean's got 30. Oh, Sean's got 30. Never mind. $29. Okay, take it. Wow. They blow up the White House.

Okay. Dude, it's a wild... It wild it is long too it's fun man sean's got one dollar but he's always wondering about the pickup the cleanup for independence say how long would that take like 20 years in real life yeah 30 years i mean yeah seriously it'd take like 30 years right just those spaceships were the size of what did they say like dallas or something what did they say? Like Dallas or something. Didn't they say that?

Oh, I don't, they were huge. I don't remember. You're right. Or they were like Rhode Island or some shit. And they all crashed into the planet. Like all of those are going to have to be very carefully picked up and disposed of where, oh, anyway. Yeah. Well, I just want to say we will not go quietly into that good night.

Isaac already put me at zero, by the way. If you see it on the board, we will move the $1 over. We will not go quietly into that good night, but we will go into our second break. We'll be right back. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country, you figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two

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Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back. Welcome back to the 90s action movie auction draft with Shea Serrano, author of the action movie star. What is it? The Action Star Scouting Report? What's the exact language? Action Hero Scouting Report.

Action Hero Scouting Report, which you can get right now at halfwaybooks.com. Make sure you go pick that up. I'm going to order it immediately after we do this. I think I am too. This is tight. Yeah, this is really good. I honestly haven't been like, no shade on anyone who's sent me books, but I haven't been stoked to like read anything for a minute because I don't like reading. So

this is dank. I'm excited. I will always remember a Barnes and Noble employee one time told me, I can always tell when someone comes in here to buy one of your books because they look like they've never been in a bookstore before. That's a thing that they said to me. We lead the league in getting reluctant readers into the reading game. Dude, I'll just go in there with a Coors Light and be like, where are the books at, bro?

I'll be like, this is a bookstore. I'll be like, yeah, but where are the books, though, dude? Where are the ones? Come on, show me the books, dog. Sean has read On the Road by Jack Kerouac, The Dirt by motley crew and now i think it's i think you're ready for a third jewel pretty much the same book just different heroin diaries juggalo i mean i read i read the hits you know david i'm here to introduce

a movie oh i'm introducing oh the first one this is the first movie that came up for me in my head just like i've watched it so many goddamn times in the 90s it was a huge it's the first action movie i remember watching all the time i'm taking it for domestic which means i could just get it right yeah oh i'm taking demolition man for a dollar oh yeah you yeah. You are the biggest Demolition Man fan that I know. I fucking, it was, I remember, I remember watching it in 1994, wondering what 1996 was going to be like. You remember? Yeah. Come on.

Simon Phoenix. Taco Bell. President Schwarzenegger. Wesley Snipes' haircut. The three seashells. Rob Schneider going crazy. Stallone looking weird with his shirt off. Everybody looks weird.

Stallone looks so weird with his shirt off in this movie. The movie that taught me the term mattress mambo. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Let me just say Sandra Bullock in this movie. The movie that taught me the term mattress mambo? Come on. Let me just say, Sandra Bullock in that movie looks unbelievable. Top tier, Sandy B. Top tier. Sandy B, dude. That's like a diorama, Shay.

This is a box of Demolition Man trading cards. That's what this is. I love it. I love it. Dude, I want to go to your office, man. I know. I love Demolition Man so much, dude. Your office seems nice. It's all the shit I wanted as a kid that I didn't have any money to get. And now I'm like, I got a little money to buy all this shit.

That is the best come up. I got a closet full of the same stories as far as sneakers go. Yeah, same. And those boats on your counter. My office is that, but for my wife. Great. Great situation. Is this...

$2? For me, it was my garage, and then that also became storage, so now it's my stuff. I mean, $5, obviously. Two things to point out with John Spartan, because John Spartan is also in the Action Hero Scouting Report.

Two things that stood out to me on the rewatch. Number one, he wakes up and he finds out there's a big earthquake that happened in 2010 or so. And that's why we have San Angeles now that the cities are combined.

And they tell him, he's like, hey, I had a wife and a kid. What's up with them? And they go, oh, your wife died in the big earthquake of 2010. He's like, dang, that sucks. They're like, your daughter didn't die. And he's like, all right, cool.

And then he never goes to look for her. Like, not ever. Not ever. That's great. Not ever. He just goes, he's like, she probably wouldn't like me. And then that's it.

He's like, I'm a single man now. Single and childless. All right. There's that part. Let's go to the barbershop. And then, of course, I did a thing in the Action Hero's Guidance Report where I list each character's most heroic feat. What's the most heroic thing they did in the movie? For John Spartan, this is what I wrote.

In the future, everyone cleans themselves after using the restroom by using three shells instead of toilet paper. John Spartan is understandably perplexed by this. He just cannot figure it out. So what he does is he cusses a bunch of times because every time someone cusses in Demolition, man, they're issued a paper citation like a ticket. After he has collected a handful of citations, he heads off to the restroom. A lot of action heroes have expressed their disregard

for things by saying something like, I'll wipe your ass with your whatever. I'll wipe my ass with your whatever. John Spartan is the only one who was ever able to do it literally. That's his most heroic feat. Come on. He wiped his ass.

What a great pick, David. He wiped his ass with their rules. Come on. What a great pick. Come on. He wiped his ass. What a great pick, David. He wiped his ass with their rules. Come on. What a great pick. Come on. Oh, I can't say fuck, fuck you, and my poops on it. And I'm going to have to ask him. I'm going to bid $6 if only for that sign that immediately cleans up its own graffiti.

Yeah, $8. Ooh, nice. For all the Taco Bell. I got to let you have it for it come on this is this is this might be the steel of the day that's a steel right there wesley snipe speaking spanish let's go my whole heart oh my god when he was down there with the cannon and he's like i'm a blast from the Also, he makes a noise in that movie when he first gets access to the guns where he goes. Yeah.

Oh, man. So good. In the first scene, he's wearing white, black and white straight pants. The whole wardrobe is crazy. They do the thing where he where him and him and John Spartan are fighting and John Spartan swings a TV at him, hits him. And then his like witty line is you're on TV.

That's what he says. Oh, I love it. When he, when he puts the electric thing in the water and shocks him and he's like, Oh man, this is great. You're on TV.

At least that's like as good of a line as you would realistically be capable of getting off in an actual fight. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, I'm either going to throw a punch or cry. Like, it's that energy. Like, I think you're on TV is as good as I'd be capable of. All right. Time for me to introduce the movie. And I'm going to introduce in the non-action category for the price of one dollar hear me out forrest gump i don't know hear me out hear me out hear

me out make make the case action on the football field you got you got body slamming together you know what i mean you got You got a little football action. I don't count that. Goes to war. Hold on. Hear me out. Goes to war in Vietnam. Saves his buddy.

Runs around. Bombs going off all around him. You have a pivotal sport. Another one. Ping pong in China. So you've got a little action with that. You know what I mean? Come on.

You are reaching, my friend? Your pulse is up! And finally, on the shrimp boat, in a hurricane, Lieutenant Dan, strapped to the mast, you have action propelling this movie. You have stuff in between, but you have action set pieces propelling this movie at every

turn. It's mostly the stuff in between. I'm not going. I don't think this is an action movie. I love you, but absolutely not. I think even with the stretch, I'm not going. Fine, fine. Then it's The Lion King for $1. That, I can

get behind a lot more. I'm with it. Take The Lion King. I thought about Forrest Gump. Anything is action. I mean, I'm with it take the Lion King I thought about Forrest Gump anything is action I mean I'm with it there's a lot of action the Lion King though you got fights

you got death you got you know battles on top of Pride Rock you have a you have a training montage you know what I mean for Simba he goes you know

he gets better yeah so okay the Lion King for one dollar and I do believe I'll just take it down yeah I'm not go ahead and put her believe i'll just take it down yeah i'm not go ahead and put her in there let's just keep it moving she's sitting good too i know you guys are gonna battle here i think can you tell me how much money

i have 69 there we go just wanted to hear out loud. You have the most hilarious amount of money. I'm going to go foreign because Ian's out of money, so he can't take this from me. I can get involved. You can get involved. That's fine. I got enough money. The hard-boiled smoke screen paid off because here's what I get with my foreign action movie. Paid off for me, man.

I was dying for it. I get perhaps the greatest Asian action movie star to have ever lived i get an incredible director i get an incredible spinoff give me super cop 1992 jackie chan's greatest movie ever jackie chan's greatest movie ever it's the third in the police story franchise it's the best. It does a couple of things. This is Stanley Tong directing it. Jackie directed the first two. He doesn't direct the third one. We get Stanley Tong, who they then reconnected later on with Brumbaugh in the Bronx.

We get Michelle Yeoh. Oscar winner Michelle Yeoh. Yeah. In this movie, doing her own stunts. Her and Jackie both doing her own stunts. This is the movie where she almost died during the stunt when the two cars drove by her after she fell off the thing. We get the spin-off from this movie

where she goes on to star in the next movie. And then, of course, you have the failed stunts thing that they do at the end of the movies where you get to watch everything that went wrong and see all the real shit that they were doing. Always my favorite part of a Jackie Chan. Yeah. It's so much better than

than like uh than a marvel 35 second always a a guy with a horn out of his forehead walks out of a bar and i'm supposed to know what's going on i don't know i don't know give me this every single time i hate i hate superhero movies i never know it's but the fight we can't say hate but i really am not i'm not i like the new spider-man but i yeah i don't really be fun I never know. It's the fight. I can't say hate, but I really am not. I'm not. I like the new Spider-Man, but I, yeah, I don't really,

I never know where I am in the middle of a fight. I'm like, whatever, whatever. Yeah. My eyes start to hurt. Yeah. All right.

Where, where's this, where's this bidding starting? It started at five bucks. Cause it's only me and Ian who have foreign left. Yeah. I could move. I could move.

We can't go to wildcard. Cause that's an action movie, right? No matter left. I could move. I could move Leon to my wild card. Because that's an action movie, right? No matter what? Yeah, yeah. $7. $15. Oh. $16.

All right, well. Oh, man. you give so much money bro i do but there's like another wild card that i kind of want i know what it is too stealing that fucking stealing the professional really fucked me to be completely honest i had a whole other game plan and now I'm not sure it's gonna work you wanna work on a trade? I'll give you one dollar I love this shit do it please

I'll give you one dollar right now for Leon the Professional what do I get? a dollar you also get your foreign free backup I get my foreign open uh huh I love this shit man that's hustling backwards You also get your foreign free backup. I get my foreign open. Uh-huh. I love this shit, man.

That's hustling backwards. All right. Give him eight bucks, Ian. I still think $7 is a steal. I'm not giving him eight bucks. I'd do it for 10. I could have had it for eight. I'll give you $2.

I'll do it for 10. Otherwise, I'm out on Supercop and this backdoor. Yeah, write it in the spreadsheet, Isaac. Ohac oh my god i can't believe i got that i cannot believe i got that yeah that was uh that was on my foreign list way high the greatest ever all right sean what franchise movie might you be getting for $1? I might be getting Die Hard 2 Die Hard 2? Over With a Vengeance? Over 3?

Pick whatever you want, big dog, let's see what happens Yeah, it's all you, but I feel like Because I mean, if I want a vengeance Well no, you can't pick it though Wait, can you? Wait, yeah, that's a good question We established that, right? I'll be open now, I want a vengeance So if I block Sean can't pick it though wait can you wait that wait yeah that's a good question we established i'll be open now i want a vengeance so do i if i block sean so if i get die hard oh interesting

so you don't want to what is happening to get a vengeance you have to take die hard too you can you can swap you can switch it to three if you get get two, you can convert it. You can upgrade your Pokemon. Wait, so if I buy this, I can just switch it to three? I think so. I think that's fun. That's what I wanted the whole time. Three dollars.

Fun little rules, man. This is dank. Yeah. Wait, Ian's going in on it too? Oh yeah, I love this movie. It was the first one I thought. It was the second one's going in on it too? Oh, yeah. I love this movie. Yeah, me too. It was the first one I thought. It was the second one I thought of on Franchise. But the other one, I don't think the first movie is as good.

Where are you at? Three? Yeah. Five. When he has to solve the water riddles, the jugs and everything, and he's running around. His name is Zeus. Hey, Zeus. I thought they were calling you Jesus. No, they were saying, hey is Zeus. Hey, Zeus. I thought they were calling you Jesus.

No, they were saying, hey, Zeus. Is this the one where he says smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo? It might be. When they first come to get him that morning, he was like, I was smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo. Whatever. You said you're a five. I'll take seven.

It's raining like dogs and cats outside. You just bit against yourself, but I'm not going to get involved there. Oh, I thought you were a five. I'll take seven. It's raining like dogs and cats outside. You just bid against yourself, but I'm not going to get involved there. Oh, I thought you were a five. No, you were a five. You took us to five. But seven it is. You know, I got some dough. That's true.

There it is. Rich guy shit. Yeah, I'll take it for seven. I think you do get it for $7 American there. Yes. Sorry, Sean. That was the first franchise one I wanted.

I feel good about that. I'm pissed about the professional though. You can move it to your wildcard if you want. I know, but the other one that I want isn't foreign. I had a foreign one I wanted and I had a wildcard that I thought I could sweep up at the end of the day. David, it's time for you to introduce

a movie into your wild card slot as it were i mean come on guys i would have been remiss if i didn't do it this movie is bad yes is it a two hour long music video yeah it is but am i gonna take it because i love hype williams i am oh i gotta take belly for a dollar, I didn't even think about Belly. How in the world did that happen? Yeah, absolutely. The opening sequence is the best action movie there is.

The extended Belly cinematic universe. So you could put this in franchise. Cold fresh air. And where are you putting this, David? I'm putting it in wild cards. All right, I'm gonna throw a flag because if we didn't let Sean do his, this is a crime movie. This is not an action movie.

This is a crime movie. Yeah, I kind of feel. We did let him do it first. That's a crime movie, not an action movie? Yeah. How many shootings are in this movie? How many shootings are in this movie? But it's a crime movie.

There's other movies in the same. There are several shootings. There's not a shootout that's the difference yes there is yeah there is there's a strip when mark dies in omaha at the very end and when i mean like a proper shootout in true remnants they have a huge shootout at the end by the way this is a crime this is a crime i got i got other stuff because like i said i can't, I can't be too in love with this draft. That's the only way I can do it. I got other stuff. Oh, I got a question. Is this a shootout or is this an action movie or is this a crime movie?

What about Heat? That's a crime movie. That's a heist movie. That's a crime movie. That's a heist movie. It's a crime saga. It's like the biggest shootout ever. Yeah, that's a saga for sure.

Yeah, but it's a shootout where... I don't even know what a saga is. It's a shootout where everyone is afraid and aware. This is blowing my mind because none of these say action on IMDb. I didn't even look them up. This is crazy to me. But you know what I mean? Like in Heat, like everyone is well... Like you feel... The machine guns

are like how you would react to machine guns in real life. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, okay. Okay, fine. What about this? What about okay, what about the fifth element? Yes. Now you're talking. Now you're talking. Here you go. I'll take that for the wild card. Could I have counted fifth element under foreign because it was in my foreign

category? No. I don't even understand. Because it's in space. $15. Because it's in space. Oh15. Because it's in space. Oh, yes. It's $17. I got to show you guys my foreign list.

I got to show you my foreign list. Are we all done with... No, we're not. All right. All right, David gets the fifth element for $17. All right. Unless anyone wants to get involved. I love that movie.

I'm still laughing about because it's in space. I honestly feel like Chris Tucker, my favorite Chris Tucker impression or performance. I love him in that. I love Leeloo Dallas multi-pass. I love... It's one of the first sci-fi

movies that ever really got me where I was like, this is great. I love the plot. Love all the space guns. I love Gary Oldman. It's really fun. It's time for me to introduce a movie that could be taken into either the wild card. Well, this is only wild card. Let me think here.

The Matrix. Action movie. I got to spend $1 dollar on it start the bidding there two dollars Sean you're the only one who could fight him oh no Sean has a dollar yeah I got a dollar another

great leap forward in action movies one that barely this I mean like it was made in 1999 but it definitely ushered in the 2000s i mean it was that that was like everybody said the matrix how many stand-up comedy jokes have you seen where they say it was like the matrix it was like the red pilling is still like a thing that is it's people still say the worst people five dollars for the matrix the one of the only movies i can

think of where the graphics or whatever the just the effects were better than the sequel. $6. You have Keanu Reeves continuing his string of dominance as per, I mean... He's in this, if we wanted to, he could have been in this draft like five times. It could have been a Keanu draft.

Larry Fishburne going big too. Larry Fishburne wearing sunglasses with no, uh, making you think you could do it, making you think you could do it. I bet you dudes, I bet you there were some dudes trying that. And they were like,

I saw some, I saw some dudes wearing those, like the, the nose pinches. Yeah. $10 for the matrix. You know, we should do a Keanu draft.

Yeah, we could do that. Oh yeah. Good. Yeah. All right. So Ian gets it for 10. Hugo weaving. matrix you know we should do a Keanu draft yeah we could do that oh yeah good yeah all right so Ian gets it for 10 Hugo weaving killing it dude or his full name Hugo weavings

weird-ass face and what a fun idea it was like when you're watching it the first time they have the you have the opening scene where we get introduced to Trinityinity which is you could argue the greatest character introduction we've ever had in an action movie where they could they send the police up there and hugo weaving is like no lieutenant your men

are already dead because you don't know what it's about yet what's about to happen yeah yeah she jumps the camera spins all around her they the chase. She talks into the phone when they get smashed into the... It's fucking incredible. What an incredible movie that was. I was watching it at the theater. That was... It picks you up and throws you through a play glass window. Amazing movie.

Really good. Really good. Really good. Shay, time for your... to introduce another movie. You have two slots left. Alright. Well, shoot. Easy breezy then. Shay, time for your, to introduce another movie. You have two slots left. All right. All right. Well, shoot. Easy breezy then. Face off.

For Wild Card. Yeah. Great. Give me face off. Hell yeah. I mean, I'd love to be involved. I can't. But I'd love to be involved.

He's going to walk with it. The most 90s-y action movie that we have in this list right here. Like, this is the one you point to. This is it. I think that might be the steal of the draft. I could eat a peach for hours. This is the one you point to. Yeah. I'm going to take his face off.

He goes, if I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful? Is that what he says? Something like that? Yeah, something like that. That's exactly what he says. The way he says it is slimy, too.

It's like, if I were to give you a kiss, hold on, let me rephrase that. I think he says, if I were to send you flowers, where would I... Oh, wait, let me rephrase that. If I were to let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful? Then he kills her in ten minutes. It's crazy. He throws her out of the plane

and then does the Michael Jordan shrug like after he hit the three does the Michael Jordan shrug. Like after he hit the three. The Michael Jordan shrug. He does. He looks right at the police and he's like, I did what I did. It starts with him groping what looks to be a teenager. Pretending to be a priest. Oh, my God.

So you have what? Nicolas Cage pretending to be John Travolta who's pretending to be Castro Troy who's pretending to be Sean Archer. Like that's one character. That's what that is. We can't give out like a special, like an Oscar we only gave out that year for that? That can't be a thing?

It should have been. We just give it out for that year where it's like, hey, nobody's ever even thought about trying to do this before. Here you go. Yep. My favorite little thing that happens in there is when they're taking their faces off, they're laid on the table, they're cutting the faces off with the lasers or whatever. Boom,

they get it off. And then once the face is off, they give them a haircut with the face off. Do the haircut beforehand. Not when you've got my whole face exposed. are we talking about here falling onto your like exposed like nerves that's so bad come on he pulls a Fredo with that dude's mom and that guy's wife

what is it he has the threesome with that guy's wife and Fredo but who's the other woman thoughesome with that guy's wife. Oh, with Colton Frito. Okay. But who's the other woman, though? Like, it's the guy's wife, and then I can't remember who, but it's just a slimy, slimy situation. Like, I swear it's like the guy's wife and his mom or something.

I don't know. It just is crazy to me. And then he's like, I'm Castor Troy. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're talking about when he gets assaulted in prison, where they have magnetic prison boots to keep you. Love that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're talking about when he gets assaulted in prison where, where he has Meg,

they have magnetic prison boots to keep you. Yes. Oh my God. Every single part of this movie, they introduce you to a new set piece, a new scene. And it's like, this is the craziest shit I ever saw. Again,

John Woo, John Woo, the motherfucking King John Woo. Oh man. Love it. Love it. Love it. Uh, all right. Well, let. Love it. Love it. Love it. All right.

Well, let's go in my franchise category. Take it down for a dollar. We'll throw Keanu in there again. We'll say Speed. Yeah. Yeah. Speed is great. Another, you know, on the edge of your seat.

Just fun. Dennis Hopper is great. Little Jeff Daniels in the beginning. Never heard anybody. I, yeah, fan. Pop quiz hotshot, you know. Just a wildcat. Dennis Hopper's great little Jeff Daniels in the beginning never heard anybody I yeah fan pop quiz hot shot you know

she's a wildcat good quality pick you get Yann DeBond too as a director who also did Twister like this is good quality here Twister was on

it was Twister was on my list in there too that would have counted right yeah yeah for a franchise movie dude any movie with a tornado

counts so any movie it's in the, so. Any movie. It's in the extended weather, the extended weather cinematic universe. Wizard of Oz, all the X-Men movies where Storm gets Buck.

Yeah. Just anything, dude. Like, anything with weather in it. The Day After Tomorrow. Yeah, dude, a lot of tornadoes. Yeah. There's a lot of rain

in Shawshank when he comes out of it, so that's the extended weather universe of movies. David, you're all full up, huh? Yeah. Ian, you got to take your foreign and then Shea's going to close it out with his non-action. Boy, there's some really good foreign movies for me to get for $1 here. But I'm going to take, I'm going to go ahead and we've been dancing around Luc Besson all movie.

I'm going to take La Femme Nikita, his first big action movie. Just a lady kicking ass, shooting guns, killing people, looking hot, doing it. It's French as fuck. It's a great action movie. Give me La Femme Nikita. You've seen that? I've never even heard of it. When I was looking at these lists, you've seen these.

You've seen Hard Boiled and La Femme Nikita. Have you seen Hard Boiled? The guy who owns Hard-boiled no but I said I I'm no I have oh I haven't seen any no oh god no I've never even heard of hard-boiled or look at Nikita well you should watch both of them I might Sean you could watch hard-boiled on

YouTube right now the full movie is on there for free oh it's like paid in full it's a free YouTube movie, huh? Dude, they, uh, yeah, they made a, they did like a TV show based off Lafayette Nikita that was on USA. I remember that. I remember that. Yeah.

I do remember that. Based on this movie. Um, but yeah, man, Lafayette Nikita, we have one pick left. Yes. Here it is. Here's how I win the draft. Oh, that's right. this is what I've been this is what I've been

waiting for how fitting it's last this is tight I went full screen for this now I'm gonna say this I'm gonna say I'm gonna say the name

of this movie and then everybody's gonna go it's not an action movie then I'm gonna make my argument and then everybody's gonna go alright you got it are you ready here's my pick

for non-action movie I'm gonna spend one dollar on it and I'm gonna come out of the draft with still $6 left. Boogie Nights. Boogie Nights, Paul Thomas Anderson, Mark Wahlberg. Fine with me, dude. Here's the argument. Action city.

Here's the argument. Here's the argument. We're doing 90s action movies. And again, this is the argument for that. A John Grisham-level argument here. Yeah, this is the argument for that. This is going to be a John Grisham level argument here. Yeah, we need the Rainmaker. Ian and I both got shut down on our first choices.

This is Matthew McConaughey at the end of A Time to Kill. That's what's about to happen right now. Now imagine if this movie was white. That's what I'm going to do. In Boogie Nights, there's lots of sex. So much sex.

It's about people who are paid to have sex on camera. It's about people who are paid to watch other people have sex on camera. In the 90s, what was the very common term people used when they were referring to sex? Hey, man, did you get any action last night? Did you get any action last night?

Did you get any action last night? That's the any action last night? Did you get any action last night? This is crazy. That's the most 90s circle that I could make. This is an action movie that shouldn't be an action movie. Give me Boogie Nights for $1. I think we got to give it to him. Completely. Just based on audacity alone.

There's not a lot of times on this podcast I feel like someone has out-meet me. Olympic level mental gymnastics. That just fucked me up. Yeah. Yo! Well, I want to thank everyone for tuning in to the last episode of All Fantasy. Everything's been a good run.

Dude, that was... I mean, I was with you from jump. You didn't even have to do me like that. You did anyways. You were the Simone Biles of mental gymnastics. When me and Ian were messaging about the thing and he sent me the categories, I spent like 12 hours straight after that. Being like, alright, let me put together every possible scenario and find every single movie. I was so excited to do this. What fun. What a tremendous... All right. Let me put together every possible scenario and find every single movie. Oh, man. I was so excited to do this.

What fun. What a tremendous. There is plenty of other action in that movie, by the way. There's like tons of drugs. There are a couple of shootouts. Again, it works. Yeah, it works. It works on all this.

This board is crazy. This board is crazy. To recap. That's a bachelor party weekend right there. Yeah. I have $6 left. David, as is his want, has $46 left. Sean

doesn't have two pennies to rub together. Shay's got $6 left as well. Oh, I think, yeah, $6. So, in franchise, I got Terminator 2 for $35. David got Die Hard with a Vengeance for $7. Sean got Speed for $1.

And Shay got Desperado for $40. I think those are all good deals, by the way. I think everybody got a good deal there. Under foreign, I got La Femme Nikita for $1. David got Leon the Professional for $7. Sean got Hard Boiled for $33.

And Shay got Police Story 3 Supercop for $16. Big money. It's a great movie under domestic I dropped the most money on any movie in this draft on point break for $47

but it's alright I'm going to rob a bank later get it all back David you spent $8 on Demolition Man Sean you got Con Air for $27 and Shea you got got Kanye for $27. And Shay, you got The Rock for $36. I mean, another good section, I think. Under non-action movies that are sneakily an action movie,

I got, actually, we'll do this one last. Under wild cards, I got The Matrix for $10. David got The Fifth Element for $17. Sean got Independence Day for $10. David got The Fifth Element for $17. Sean got Independence Day for $29. And Shay got I'm Going to Take His Face Off for $1. That's a steal. That's a fucking steal. And finally, under non-action movies, I got The Lion King for $1.

David got Home Alone for $15. Sean got Fargo for $10. And Shea Serrano, author of the Action Hero Scouting Report, which is available right now on HalfwayBooks.com. Halfway Crooks. Did you want to say Halfway Crooks? HalfwayCrooks.com. I think that's what it's named after.

Yeah, HalfwayBooks.com. No such thing. That is correct. That is correct. Got Boogie Nights for $1. American. Boogie Nights, an action movie, due to the sheer amount of action going on in that movie, blessed by all three of the other competitors

and super producer Isaac Lee. Just as stellar. Just an amazing pick. An amazing draft. This was so much fun. Shay, thank you so much for coming on and drafting 90s action movies with us. Yeah, man. Thank you. Y'all are the best. When you're ready to run it back to the 80s,

you just let us know and we will make ourselves available. I'll do a little more foreign research now that I got a good grasp on what we're doing. We want to hear your picks last now. Space still doesn't count in the 80s. Let us know what you would have gone with with All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, All Fantasy Everything, what is it?

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Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of this, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shacklackity! that was a hate gun podcast