All Fantasy Everything - Action Movie Stars (w/ Doug Benson, Daniel Van Kirk, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: June 15, 2023

[Suspenseful music plays in the background]   Episode Guests: Doug Benson @DougBenson (IG: @youdontknowdoug) Daniel Van Kirk @danielvankirk (IG: @danielvankirk)   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel) Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan) David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87) Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)   Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting action movie stars. Our guests today are Daniel Van Kirk and Doug Benson. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always is Sean Jordan. David Borey is currently in Bolivia. He's actually not far from Bolivia. He's in Brazil, the Brazil neighborhood of Bolivia. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is fantasy drafting action movie stars.

I'm your host, Ian Carmel. Sean Jordan is here as well. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. How are you doing, Sean? I'm good, man. Chilling, hanging out. Come to Columbus. I think that might be sold out. More importantly, tomorrow night

on June 16th, come to Cleveland. I know for a fact it's not sold out because that thing is happening where the booker, bless his heart, is sending me the updates every single day. I'm like, well, let's go ahead and let's go ahead and sell those tickets it is tomorrow night when this comes out so come to

cleveland it'll be great we're at my halls other than that i'm doing fantastic man i'm chilling i love that daniel van kirk is here at daniel van kirk on twitter daniel van kirk where can people where can people frequent your wares uh also at DanielVanKirk on Instagram. I tend to use that a lot more or as well. And then, let's see, I think August 19th, I'm doing two shows at the Lincoln Lodge. I'll probably be doing some other shows that I'm about to be able to announce right around then as well. I'll be at, I don't know if I can say this. I don't care.

It doesn't matter. Tell them. Nobody listens to this. I'll be at High Plains. I don't think if I can say this. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Tell him. Nobody listens to this. I'll be at High Plains, and then I will... I don't think you can say it, but... What are they going to do? I don't know.

Adam isn't going to care that much. Nah. Karen might. And then I will be in Austin. I have a whole bunch of dates coming up. Just go to danielvankirk.com. Follow me on Instagram, at danielvankirk.

Keep up to date with what I'm doing. I have a show that I do here in town called Best Bet Comedy. It's hosted by myself and Irene, too. It's a good time. I'll see you there tonight, although not when this drops. I will have done it several weeks ago when this comes out. Can't wait. Are you going to do me a favor and try to be funny tonight?

No, I'm going introspective, dude. I'm going introspective tonight, deep. Do it.ive, dude. I'm going introspective tonight. Deep. Do it. Bring a book. I'm going to bring a book. I'm going to read Raymond Carver's short stories on stage tonight. It's going to be tragic.

Who would have thought that the secret to time travel was podcasting? Oh, for sure. I can't wait for tonight to have had Ian there. The outfit I wore was crazy, though. None of us expected that. Oh, I can't wait to see it. It was great. Full Elton John performing at Dodger Stadium sequence.

I smashed a piano. Yeah. But you bought that when the Hard Rock closed down in Vegas, and you won that in that auction. Well, I bought a storage unit that happened to have it in it. So I won the auction for the storage unit and I'm not knowing. But in Vegas, you know what I mean? You got to roll the dice, baby.

You got to roll the dice. Speaking of keeping the dice rolling, Doug Benson is here. That doesn't make sense as a transition, but we're going to keep it moving. Storage war. Storage war. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. I'll say it again.

Veteran of three storage wars, Doug Benson is here. Oh my God, the storage wars I've been through, the stories I could tell. That guy on PBS should make a doc about it. Ken Burns with slow zooms on Doug Benson while banjo music plays, talking about the storage wars. Where can people find you? Where can people come see you? They can get all my dates and deets at douglosmovies.com.

We're doing monthly Doug Loves Movies at the Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. If, uh, if you want to see one there with, you know, that's when the big names come out at the beautiful Hayworth theater. Oh my God.

It's a, it's, it's a historic, it's a landmark. They, if in case that's not enough, in case you're right on the edge, if you're like,

listen, it's also my wife's birthday that night. So do I need one? They do a popcorn where they put M&M's in it, and it's delicious. Yeah. It's a perfect date night. It's her birthday, but you drag her

to a podcast she doesn't listen to just so she could get candy on her corn. That's right. Yeah. She'll be into it. I think she'll be into it. That is always fun. Or leave her at home. When somebody comes up after a show and they're like,

hey, I listened to the show. My wife, this is their first time ever. She didn't have to come. I mean, it's great. I hope she had a good time. Or he, you know, like I've had it happen

the other way too. Wow, nice. Nice. Actually. Yeah. They usually in that scenario will say, I liked it.

You know, in that tone, that's like, you know, you endured it. Yeah, right. Like they just had like cow tongue for the first time. Once I got past the initial hour or so. The impenetrable jungle of inside jokes. Once we got past that, it was a good time. There you go. It took, I did not think I was going to get through the word impenetrable, which is fitting, I guess.

No. My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter, and tiktok now where i'd be posting dude when you tweeted like hey does anyone else not have the the captions on the instagram i wanted to look at your phone if i would have been there i'd be like give me your phone i don't have it no i straight up don't have it dude you can have my phone it's not on there i don't have captions on instagram did you let dana look at it i did i did i'm just wondering i let somebody else i let somebody else look at it okay but maybe a second opinion will help i will i will freely admit that i am someone who up until recently has mostly used social media and especially Instagram like as a online photo album. Yeah.

It took me three days to make a reel the other day. It's now what makes me. It's now my new QuickBooks where I'm like, I'll try for 20 minutes and I'm like, fuck, fuck it. I'm done. I don't need this. And then I go skate or something. I mean, yeah, I'm doing it. I'm done. I don't need this. And then I go skate or something. I mean, I'm doing it to let people

know about where I'm coming, which I will talk about now. Sean Jordan and I will be at Comedy Works in Denver June 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. Great club. Great club. Yeah, I'm going to have a drink or two. I bet.

I think you will. I think I might join you in a drink or two. I bet. I think you will. I think I might join you in a couple of those. I was thinking about it. Get that elevation drunk. Every time. Every time I go to that city, I fall for it the first day. Yeah. I look like a middle schooler. Anyway.

You just got to run through it. You got to train through it. I do. That's the secret. I do. So we'll be there. And then I will be in Las Vegas at the Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club, July 7th, 8th, and 9th, I believe, which is during NBA Summer League.

So you know where I'll be during the day. You know where I'll be during the night. About that Heat game last night. Holy buckets. Great game last night. Or great game three weeks ago. Yeah. Anyway.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. This is coming out in a while. What about the Heat maybe winning this whole series by now? I mean, I can't believe it. Michael Jordan came back and played for the Heat. Sioux Falls, South Dakota Farm League. Skyforce, baby.

Do I root for the Heat or the Nuggets? The Heat. I don't know. You want to sell those Denver tickets? In the past and the future? If you're doing... Has anyone ever performed comedy in Miami, by the way? Could we have less of a rooting interest? I bet Doug has.

Doug, you done Miami? I've done it a bunch of times. I was in Orlando with Doug one time and it was a blast. Yeah, I've done Orlando, Jacksonville. Yeah, it's... Obviously, there's just a lot of people that live in miami that have no interest in coming to see me but the people that you know do live you know the people that do somehow end up there even though they're just you know uh white people or whatever uh you know they come

out it's night you know i i like i just love the weather so even if the show goes shitty it's still gonna be a nice day the next day. You're still in Miami. You're still going to have a good time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's how I feel about Florida in general is I've always just, I've loved the weather and the people who live there who come to see me. Everything else can fuck off.

I feel like if anyone bought a ticket specifically to see me in Miami, I could reliably open the conversation with, so when did you move to Miami? Yeah. That's a great line. And thanks for coming to my show and for bringing your dog and maybe next time wear shoes. Yeah. It's people that have really just, you know, moved to Miami. Doug, have you done Key West? Have any of you guys done the club down in Key West?

I've wanted to. I was supposed to in 2020, and I didn't, obviously. I've been to Key West, but I've never... I mean, the prospect of performing comedy there is wild to me. I think it would be so... I have no idea what you'd get. A bunch of cheeseburgers in Paradise, man. And no shoes.

Ernest Hemingway's house is there. And it has a massive population of six-toed cats. Where they have six toes on each foot. Now, Dan, I'm glad to believe you didn't go because of COVID. So you believe in COVID then? No, it's just the fucking problem is these other people do. And I couldn't. Thank you.

Seriously. Speak on it. I was excited about toad cats. I thought you said there were six toad cats. Six toad cats? You know, half toad, half cat. An Island of Dr. Moreau situation going on in QS. QS.

They got toad vid. That is the kind of fucked up shit that would happen, like would start in Florida. Where, yeah, a toad and a cat shacked up and it worked somehow. For sure. Yeah. It's all about making it work down there. You can't afford to live by yourself. So it's going to bound to happen at some point.

We would, we are gathered here not only to talk about toad cats, although we could all day, we are gathered here to fantasy draft action movie stars. Yes. Doug, we know you love movies.iel van kirk i believe you love movies sean jordan do you love movies you know i just watched a movie last night called missing that is done entirely through a lens of a phone or a computer it's pretty fun oh yeah they tried it once before i'm sure they've tried it but there's a movie they tried it a while back but anyway i know we're venturing

into Doug Love's movies territory here, but I just, yes, I do love movies. And I watched that last night and it's very fresh and it's very good. Highly recommend it. Yeah, it feels like you missed out on a lot of those pandemic movies that took place entirely on screens.

Oh, did that happen a bunch? Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah, three or four. Yeah, it was even like a horror movie that people liked it had jump scares in it

it was just on people's phones interesting no yeah Unfriended was that one with Moses Storm

that's the one I tried I put it on for a minute that one and then it became a bit of a genre

either that or movies that are trying to hide the fact that none of the actors are together which is really those or movies that are trying to hide the fact that none of the actors are together, which is really those are rough. Those are hard to watch. There was a clip

going around, this is only tangentially related, but there was a clip going around the other day of the Grease television show, Grease Rise of the Pink Ladies, and one of the actors dropped out seven episodes into the ten- So they just shot somebody from behind and then literally photoshopped his

face. Yeah. Yeah. Clipped out like onto this act, the front of some other actors and they put it out. So there's clips where it's just like mostly from the back and then they cut to a front and then there's just like, just like an unmoving face of a guy

but see here's the thing we would never have mentioned this so I wonder I always wonder if there's some executive producer who goes hold on if we do do this everyone will talk about it that's right it's like Sonic's teeth like the first batch of Sonic's teeth

the ratings on Game of Thrones were slipping when they let that Starbucks cup end up in a shot. Yeah. They also accidentally let Ed Sheeran into a shot, and the ratings were slipping then, too. That was fun, knowing he was going to be in that

episode, be like, where's Ed Sheeran going to fit in? How's he going to fall into this puzzle. I'd be like, where's Ed Sheeran going to fit in? Spot the Ed Sheeran. How's he going to fall into this puzzle? That also happened in the Danny Boyle movie yesterday, where he accidentally wandered in the set and they just kept shooting. Ed Sheeran? He was in yesterday? Ed Sheeran was all over yesterday, dude. Really? I didn't see yesterday.

That's okay. Maybe I didn't either. Anyway. Oh, the movie yesterday. The movie yesterday, Now I get it. The movie yesterday. I thought you were talking about June 14th. It's fucking on top of it.

It's fucking on top of it. You're always on fire. Like since day one. Now, the way we determine the order of this fantasy draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you. And we throw and shoot. Here we go. Fuck you both. Here we go. Warm up. Rock, paper,

scissors, shoot. Oh, Sean wins. It's an unnatural victory. One scissors against two rocks. It's perverted. It goes against the very will of God, but it is the way we play here. This is tough now. sean jordan as the winner of rock paper scissors it's incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that i will remind you this is a serpentine draft and

what is that well i'll tell you it's where you take soft serve it's like pouring soft serve like an applebee's you got your cup and you don't just pour it straight down you go side to side a little bit you know i mean you don't just let it pile and fall where it may because you want a pattern. So you go a little bit to the left, hang for a second, little to the right, hang for a second, little to the left. And you kind of gradually drop as you're doing it. So it makes a nice little pattern. Basically, what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round, and so on. Now, Sean, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be?

This is tough because for me, there's a definite, definite clear front runner, but I don't like putting myself first. I'm going to do it. So I'm going to go first. Then we're going to put Doug, then Dan, then Ian. Hot corner. Okay. Yeah. Sean Jordan, Doug Benson, Dan Van Kirk, Ian Carmel.

That is the order. And we will get to the draft right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius essentially just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage.

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Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. Except, of course,

for Doug Loves Movies. And except, of course, for Daniel Van Kirk's podcast. Pen Pals, baby. Dumb People Town, baby. Pen Pals. Dumb People Town. Pen Pals with Rory... Yeah, up and coming Rory Scovel. Up and comer Rory Scovel

up and comer Rory hey guys he might get new faces this year that's huge yeah that's huge

about time yeah we're all pulling for him I think we're all pulling for Rory he's one of those comics comics you know what I mean

yeah I saw by the way I saw Babylon on the plane Rory Scovel I'm sure he's listening to this because he's a supportive friend uh i not only was he great in it i love the movie in general i love babylon as well it is very long the final 15 minutes are the longest part

but uh i mean i you know i was invested to love it i'll be i can't be completely unbiased but i thought rory was great too. I wanted to hate it. I don't like Rory Scoville. I think he's a bad person and an awful comedian. So I went in just like ready to just sink my teeth into a shitty movie. And I thought it was wonderful. I really enjoyed it.

I like that. It's crazy how entertaining I found it. We saw it on Christmas Day. Me and my girlfriend went to a theater I found it. We saw it on Christmas Day. Me and my girlfriend went to a theater in San Diego. We picked the theater because no one bought tickets. So we had a private screening. But the trouble is there were so few people at the theater

that the snack bar was completely closed. So we went in hungry and thirsty. And we're like, well, I guess we'll just have to get something after the movie. And I thought that was going to make me just find the whole movie to be a miserable experience. And instead, I had a lovely time. You feasted on the masterpiece of Damien Chazelle. Yeah, we got out at like, you know, one in the morning. It was like a 10 o'clock show.

We got out like 1 a.m. And we were like, well, well, it would have been nice to have some food. It's one of those theaters where they bring food to your seats. Oh, yeah. We thought we were going to eat something, but they closed the... They weren't serving anything. You should be able to postmates to

your seat if that's the case. They should wait. That movie's so goddamn long. I could have missed a couple minutes of it but you know it's a terrific movie if you don't think Babylon's great let's not

even discuss it you don't need to argue with me about it I just it just hit me somehow you know what I mean I really loved that that big the party that opening set was

amazing. Just the excessiveness. The excessiveness. Getting to be excessive while also commenting on how horrible being excessive is. The movie has it both ways through the entire movie.

It's saying fuck you to Hollywood. And isn't Hollywood amazing at the same time? It was beautiful. I loved it. I watched it on a plane and then I watched it again, not on a plane. Cause I was like,

I shouldn't have watched that on a plane. Sure. Yeah. It's big. Yeah. I watched it on my watch. And then I thought, Oh,

I should watch this on a phone. Then I moved to the phone. Then I did Fridge TV after the phone watch, and I kept working my way up. Sean Jordan. Yeah. We're not here to talk about Babylon, not an action movie. I mean, are there action movie stars in it? That's debatable.

But Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick in the action movie stars fantasy draft. Yeah. I mean, it was the obvious first name that popped up. First, just to me, the clear front runner. But I'm going to have to set the cruise control, baby. Tommy. Tommy Cruise. Tom Cruise. Yeah, I mean, completely.

To me, he's the quintessential action star. To me. Mission Impossible. I mean, the Top Guns. And to be able to span from what was Top Guns. And to be able to span from... What was Top Gun? When? 84?

Mind asshole? I think it's later. Is it later? It's 87, 88. Anyway, just to go over 30 years and still be able to come back and reprise the role and do an absolutely amazing job.

And in the middle, have the Mission Impossible franchise. And then all the other fun ones like why am I blanking? Days of Thunder. Jack Reacher. Jack Reacher, American Made. Yeah, dude. I mean, Night and Day if you want to dive

in there. It's just some massive Tom Cruise action movies. The action-packedness of Vanilla Sky. You get it. He just screams action star to me. He toggles. He toggles between, or he used to. Now it's all action all the time.

But he toggles, used to toggle between, you know, stuff that was less, you know. He'd get into like your Magnolias and stuff. Try to get awards. Yeah. Born on the 4th of July. One of the, I'm just going to do it myself type people. I mean, being strapped to the outside of a plane. All that shit's just batshit crazy. He just does it. Or like breaking his ankle in the middle of a jump and then getting up knowing he's like, we got one take. We're not going to do it again because I just broke my foot. So I'm just going to run and see what it looks like. Just action star shit. like just action star shit let me let me ask you this i mean listen i love you know i love tom cruise you know i love the action movies of tom cruise the man signed a top gun helmet sitting

on my mantle wedding i got a sign by tom cruise for you and i and i had him write a val kilmer quote on it that shit is hilarious it says you can be my wingman anytime tc didn't say that. He didn't say that, but he did write it. Does the fact that Tom Cruise was in Rain Man, was in Born on the Fourth of July, was in that John Gershon movie, his name escapes me right now. Eyes Wide Shut. These are not action movies.

Does this pull away from the, I mean... He is now an action movie he does do the run he gets the run in in the firm it's all about lawyers but he still gets the run in he does a backflip for no reason in the firm that's yeah yeah he makes these dramas action

movies because he's so action packed Jerry Maguire I feel like is an action movie just because he looks actiony cocktail cocktail is full of action yeah There's action out on the streets and in the sheets. Sheets action. I didn't even think about that. I love the pic,

Sean, but I don't think... When you said Hands Down 1-1, this is not who I thought you meant at all. When you said Cruise Control, I thought you were taking us to Jason Patrick. Stop saying pics! If you take out all the movies that are not

action movies with Tom Cruise, you still have a bigger catalog of action movies than you do with most other action stars. It's true. He has a heavy catalog. And they're good. They're not... I guess Night and Day is not that great. But most of them are...

Night and Day is a great airplane. But most of them are... I mean, you could collaborate with an action movie. Night and Day is a great airplane movie. You know. Yeah. He puts his all into his acting, but unfortunately, he's also putting a lot into a made-up religion that is entirely about money.

I'm leaving that at the door. And you know what? You could be talking about almost any religion right now. I don't know which religion Tom's associated with, but I think they're shitty. Let's not name names, but it's a religion. This is just a full-blown Ricky Gervais atheist take. We're all just coming out on that.

Tom Cruise, he's a Lutheran now. He said he's very Lutheran. Oh, okay. More of a lateral move. Doug's against the Lutheran now. He said he's very Lutheran. Oh, okay. More of a lateral move. Doug's against the Lutheran. My theory is that Tom Cruise, that they let him hang on outside the plane and stuff like that because people don't like him that much.

You know what I mean? They're just ready to let it go? But they're like, this is one we can lose. Because you hear all the time about actors wanting to do their own simple stunts and the insurance companies and the studios will not stand for it. They hate the Jackie Chan model,

even though I just mentioned somebody else. But you know what I mean? They do not want people to do their own stunts ever. So these actors, but they love to go on talk shows and say, I did all my own stunts. And they mean, oh yeah, you had a fake fist fight where a coordinator

walked you through it and it was all choreographed. Okay, yeah, I guess it's a stunt. But anyway, I don't know where this was headed. I think he wants to die doing a stunt. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't think he would be upset. I think if the latch that was holding him to that plane broke and he was free-falling onto the tarmac, I think he'd be like, this is going to look great. Do you think he has it

in the contract, like, use the shot? Whatever kills me, use it. Oh, yeah. I'm sure he'll don't cut the whole way down. I think we'll get a 15-minute Mission Impossible movie that he just would. That's what Dead Reckoning Part 2 is going to be. We have to all get over the fact that

it didn't work out in the first place. We're going to have to reckon with the fact that he's dead. That's what... Mission failed. Mission, colon, over. There's something very funny about having eight Mission Impossibles. At that point, it's like... I think you could do it.

They're possible. Yeah. You've done it. They're only possible because of him. He also lives action. Like, of anyone in this draft, like, his entire life is action movie. Yeah.

I don't think he has sex. I heard a story about his... Forgive me if I've told this on here before, but his 60th or 50th birthday, whichever was the big one he most recently had, he had this huge party in England. And it was fully catered. And people were eating cake. There was a dessert course and everything. And Tom Cruise's assistant brought out a tray with five popsicles on it.

And they were like, that's what he just like throughout the night. He just like ate these popsicles while everyone else was like drinking and partying and eating cake and everything. And they were like,

they must have been like protein popsicles where there's like no sugar in them. It's just like frozen protein shake. Yeah. You can't alter your state. Not even on his 60th birthday is he willing to have a slice of cake. No, he might need to go. He might need to go do it.

I was watching this. I was at a Super Bowl party at Kimmel's house one time and Tom Cruise shows up with his mother and gigantic cupcakes for everybody. I think he has such a healthy regimen and eats barely anything and only healthy foods that he gets off on just giving other people stuff that That's going to keep them fat and disgusting.

I think you're a hundred percent right. The Tom Cruise cake list. You can't all be me. You got to enjoy your cupcakes while I'm over here sucking on a piece of ice. He's the real ice man. Yeah, dude.

Yeah. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Excellent first pick. A lot of pros and cons tonight, fella. Absolutely. I've met him twice and both times I could not have been more it was like meeting a president

or a pope or some shit. It was fucking exciting. And I felt like I could say anything I want to him. I didn't feel like he was like that. I had to be like, uh, you know, totally polite,

you know, like he's immediately like someone you admire and as a chum at the same time. Like he just, yeah, absolutely. It's wild. He's, was he like the most intense person you've ever met?

Oh yeah. Like look you right in the eye While he shakes your hand firmly And I'm just some guy at a fucking party That walked her up to him like hey You know Hey are you Tom Cruise? He's like he's always It's all political theater

You know he's always campaigning He's always campaigning for top movie star. And he was losing for years. And then he came back. The combination of stick-to-itiveness and doing crazier stunts. Insanity. It's really, the whole thing

is quite amazing how it really is a big comeback. Because all your decades-long movie stars, your Clint Eastwoods, your clint eastwoods your burt reynolds whoever paul duman when they fade away from being you know the big movie star they don't ever come back as big sure and tom cruise is arguably as big or bigger than he ever was a bit probably bigger right i mean like yeah in a weird sort of way. At least context wise, like compared to every other movie star, like maybe he was bigger in the 80s, like just because people were bigger in the 80s. But like compared to the next closest movie star, like I think he's the biggest he's ever been.

Yeah. But Sean picked him. And Doug, now it's time for your first pick in the action movie star draft. but Sean picked them and Doug, now it's time for your first pick in the action movie star draft. Well, I have to go with, uh, aside from being a,

a white man, everything else about this individual is perfection. No, nice, no notes, no crumbs left. Keanu Reeves. Whoa.

Wow. Yeah. You get a lot. Not where I thought you'd go. Dude, you get John Wick, you get The Matrix, you get Speed, you get Constantine. You get Constantine. You get Constantine.

The devil's advocate. Fuck, that movie's good. I mean, not necessarily an action movie, but that thing is insane. Insane. Oh, our producer. Isaac just said that Keanu Reeves is part Asian. Fuck, that movie's good. I mean, not necessarily an action movie, but that thing is insane. Oh, our producer. Isaac just said that Keanu Reeves is part Asian. Proud son of South Korea, Isaac Lee is weighing in.

Yeah, part Asian. So he actually is perfect. Yeah. Well, he's still part white. That's true. Hey, nobody's perfect, buddy. That's the part I didn't like about Obama. I'd just be sitting and watching him talk to him. I'd be like, oh, that's the white side talking. I think it also helps his action movie credentials

with him being just kind of not that great. Oh, God, I forgot about Point Break. Oh, man. Yeah, Point Break too. Just also, just such a zen approach. He's just a rad dude. To all of it that like, because that's the thing is he's sort of,

a lot of these action stars, like Tom Cruise also had it at different times. You know, they get sort of accused of not being good actors and just being about the action. And I got to say that Keanu has given some performances there. of accused of not being good actors and just being just being about the action and uh and i gotta say that keanu has given some performances there you know one could say are kind of stiff and not natural but on the other hand he's given lots of performances that are like so it just feels like

he's got to have the right uh collaborators and and whatnot you know he has to be handled right that's where i think it's a john Wick thing. He's really fallen into a zone where he's working with a director who's more about the stunts. They're both more about the stunts. So let's just have this character talk less and just have incredibly high stakes all the time.

So he's always under duress. The last two John Wick movies wore me out. Like, watching them wore me me out The last one was Absolutely bonkers The stairs? Yes, the stairs I started laughing

At one point I hysterically just started laughing Everybody had something to say in the theater I'm sitting there with the people I was with And we were all just like, get the fuck And we're like slapping each other It was like we were at the Kings of Comedy It's very similar to how long the vomiting goes on

in Triangle of Sadness. It's just like you start laughing at how ridiculous it is and you stop laughing then you start laughing some more. Like I was laughing so hard through so much of John Wick because they just topped everything they've done in John Wick movies and then

stunts in every other like it's just a stunt spectacular. The cars around the Arc de Triomphe or whatever, that was insane. But then that stairway sequence have you seen the footage of Keanu Reeves helping the crew carry equipment up those

motherfucking stairs? Of course. He has to fall down those stairs a million times to get that shot. And then he's helping them carry shit up those stairs. Which is a union violation. So he's also quite a rebel. Yeah.

The rebel and the sweetheart. There's that story of him going into a movie theater and not getting concessions. And then I might be butchering it, but then he turned around halfway to the theater, got an ice cream cone, threw it away, and then walked up to the person and he's like, did you want an autograph?

Because he got the vibe that the person wanted an autograph but didn't have anything to write it on. Is that kind of correct, that story? I mean, sounds real. It's one of those chopped down a cherry Tree George Washington things where it's like, even if it didn't happen, it's a story befitting the legend of the man.

Yeah, I like it. No, he's... Dude, point break. Yeah, he's very cool. It's kind of like a... Like you were saying earlier, Doug, it's just like a matter of picking roles for him. Anything where he's been kind of bad or clunky, it's like, well, you shouldn't have done much to do about nothing.

And that's not your fault. I know this is coming from me, so it carries less weight because my opinions, they tend to be good and soft. But when is he bad? What is he bad in? Devil's Advocate? He's fine. His character is supposed to be like kind of a dumb lawyer. Not a dumb lawyer.

He's supposed to be like one of the best lawyers in the world. You've never heard anybody make fun of the line reading. I am an FBI agent. You think that that is a good line reading? I think if I can get into the character he's in for the movie, I could see that person in real life being that way. Yes. I don't think he's bad.

I think he'd be better in that role now than he was then. I think that's a role that he's grown into more, that kind of character. But that line is kind of celebrated for how silly he is. Talk to a young FBI agent. I bet you if they were that hot, they'd be a little stupid too.

No one's going to get it all right. I do love the way that nancy myers used him and something's gotta give dude it's fucking fantastic but he's the but he's like the male equivalent of like you know like in a in a where in a movie where it's like a woman is like this this woman doesn't exist in real life she's like beautiful perfect and smart like a james bond scientist love it you know like who yeah like he's the male equivalent of that and like that's perfect casting where you're like playing keanu reeves reputation up to that point where he's handsome but stupid but this is young doctor who's like i've been looking

for a 62 year old so this works yeah no he's been smart about that like he's really funny and uh always be my baby whatever always be my maybe he's so great he's playing about that. He's really funny in Always Be My Baby. Always Be My Maybe. He's so great. He's playing himself. And then he makes fun of his own image in the most recent Toy Story as the Evel Knievel character. He's solid.

Obviously, John Wick 4 ends on what's going to happen with this series but I just heard that they're making John Wick 5 so I don't know if it's going to be just to move on with all the other characters in that universe. They can give me

all of that. I just don't want them to do any fucking shit where they're like let's do stuff that happened before the John Wick movies and let's just de-age him with effects. I want that to stop as much and as soon as possible.

Because that's just the first that's the slippery slope to just having AI play every character. That's scary to think about. I don't want the acting equivalent of people selling their catalogs like musicians being like well here you have it you have the rights to my music now people actors go well

you have the right to my likeness so whatever you're gonna go do with it just give me 250 million dollars and we'll call it it's yours yeah i don't want to tip any picks but i think we have a movie coming out this summer that's going to show how far down that slope we've slipped where we're gonna go oh this oh, this is flawless now. This is you cannot tell. Well, do I really care? If I can't tell, then like if I actually can't tell.

Yeah, the Robert De Niro beating somebody up on a curb in the Irishman should have been like the physicality of it. His body was moving like a 75 year old or 80. That should have been the point where we're like, okay, okay, okay, this is the Rubicon. The crazy thing is, if Scorsese had shot that scene of him kicking that man the way he shot De Niro

kicking the guy in Goodfellas, it wouldn't have looked bad. He shot it in the wide, so the physicality looked bad, but he shot it from POV in Goodfellas, and so he should have shot it that way. It would have been it that way. It would have been so much more. Also, then it would have been a like a shout out to that Goodfellas fucking scene.

It would have been, people would have been like, so cool. Yeah. Yeah. I believe you were looking for homage. They were too excited to use that technology. That's not good. Like it looks weird.

And then on top of it, De Niro played the young Brando in The Godfather. Like, why are you taking away that opportunity in The Irishman from a young actor to play young De Niro? Like, they don't pay it forward at all.

They just, like, keep it all to themselves. It's the Goldblum effect. You're so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you never stop to ask yourself whether or not you should. Damn. Deep, dude whether or not you should damn exactly deep wonder if he's gonna get picked i didn't even think of him until now deepness dvk it's time for your first pick uh well i have in my world of doing

this i had four number ones so the fact that i'm gonna get get two of them, it blows my mind. Well, maybe you will. Maybe you might. Ian gets two picks next. I have four number ones. You only get two picks. Yeah. I got my entire top of my fucking draft board is still there. Yeah. So I think this person is one,

one overall in, in my world. I couldn't believe he's even made it to the third pick. Overall, in my world, I couldn't believe he even made it to the third pick. We will not have any discussions about the dramatic turn, the go for the go for the awards season. His movies do not come out in December. They come out between May and September. He was an Adonis among men. And his name is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Oh, my God. A Hercules in New York. An Adonis Among Men. And his name is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh my God. A Hercules in New York. An Adonis Among Men. Action. Action. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Anytime he's made a movie that wasn't an action movie, was him using that role to comment on how he's an action movie star?

Yes. He couldn't not do, even in Kindergarten Cop. Yeah. They tried to put the biggest shirts on him in the world and he still was like can i do a scene where i carry 11 kids they did dress him in big shit where they're like we don't want everyone to see your muscles it's like what kumail tried to do in chippendales i'm like you are yoked and i've told you you're beautiful. Just take it.

Just accept that you're beautiful. Right? Exactly. Yes. He can't exist in any other world. There's another action movie star who, I mean, we might take or not, who's like active right now where you're like, you just don't exist in anything other than you punching someone's face.

What is it? It's twins in kindergarten. What else did he do where you're like, it's not action? Was there... But even twins. Even twins is... Yeah, juniors. Did he get pregnant in juniors?

Is that what happened? Yeah. Yeah, junior would, I'd say, be the most departure. But, I mean, obviously Terminator. Junior is strangely sensitive to... He does an okay job.

It's just such a stupid movie, but he does an okay job with the emotional part of, of being pregnant. You know, they, it's, but it's such a weird movie, but,

um, even jingle all the way there's action in it. Yeah. Yeah. No, he manages to get action in most things, but also, uh,

it's just amazing how some movies comment on it. Some don't,, some don't. But I don't think there's a single actor in the history of cinema who's had the wrong accent in every role they've played. Like he's never even, has he played an Austrian once? That's so funny. He played a bodybuilder in that one movie. I guess that guy was his native character. Guys, when we all moved to LA,

Doug, it was closer for you. But the first time you realized you're driving over what you think may be where they shot Terminator 2 driving through the LA River and you're like, oh, is this where... Dude, I went to the mall two weeks in.

I went to the Terminator 2 mall. I went to three different malls to find the right one because the internet was just steering me wrong. What he did for motorcycles and leather jackets, people are like, oh, who are the Hells Angels? It's Arnold. It's like in the cigar and then the stuff,

even movies like Eraser and obviously Conan. It goes on and on and on. I mean, he is the pinnacle of action movies to me. He's not the most in terms of legacy on my list, but I think there's even some more. He got kind of boxed in like how Shyamalan, M. Night Shyamalan movies have to have a twist. He got boxed into that he had to say quips all the time.

Yeah, yeah. And so like in Eraser and Batman and Robin, it was just out of control how terrible the quips were. Batman and Robin is insane. They're so bad. Why don't you cool off? They're so bad, but they have become perfect

in how terrible they are. Like the patina of time has made Mr. Freeze like amazing. So real quick here, if I can, little tiny little mini draft, one pick. What's your favorite Arnold movie? T2. T2? If that's off the board. Predator over here.

Is that good? Commando? I loved Commando growing up. Fucking Total Recall? Total Recall. Last Action Hero. Doug? I guess I have to go Kindergarten Cop. Takes place in Oregon. The pure joy. I've only seen the movie a few times,

but the first time I saw it, how happy some of those stupid lines that he says in that movie made me and how much gristle they gave me to chew on in my adolescence. To just always be saying, it's not a tumor.

It makes cancer fun because when you hear the word tumor, you think of him saying it, and then that's funny. It's crazy. Right. It made any cancer diagnosis a little easier to deal with.

I will say too, a lot of action now in the fast and furious world that we live in is spectacle, like what they can do digitally. And it's amazing and it's beautiful and I love it. But Arnold really, truly carries the performances in movies like Terminator, Terminator 2, The Heart, like how much you care for him. Even in Predator is a version of Castaway. I mean, there's huge parts of this movie where it's just him alone battling the elements, which happens to be an alien. The dialogue, it all has to be conveyed through his performance that he has to carry.

And he crushes it. He has something that other, again, I don't want to say names but he had there's a quality in him that other gigantic buff dude actors just don't have and i don't know if it's that he's a good actor or or if he just like because i don't know that he is but there's just you're like somehow this 300 pound buff dude is also like a puppy who I want to pick up and cradle and care about. And it's, you just love him. You immediately, I guess that's being a movie star. I guess that's what that quality is.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And embracing humor and goofiness because even in the first Terminator, when he's just an evil Terminator, like you're enjoying his evilness. You know,. It's fun to be scared of him. And just like he was already

maybe he needs to give James Cameron a little credit for that, but he was already being a more humorous villain especially when it's supposed to be a fucking robot. Because like Conan the Barbarian was fairly humor-free. You know, the sword and sorcery things that he's in

I don't think are as successful because they hadn't figured out that formula yet, you know? Yeah. Well, that's my pick. I love that I got Arnold third. You love, did your life improve in California? Were you in California while he was governor? No, I was not.

What's your take on that performance? We had to live through it. Some of us had to live through it. Actually, none of you had to live through it, right? Just me? No, I wasn't here when that happened. Yeah, it was just me, just sitting here shaking my head. I mean, I was living through some South Dakota governors that have

never been good, so I'm sure I was living through some shit bag at the time. No, he did some good things and some things he wasn't as good at, but overall, I guess I have a fairly good impression of him. I mean, the sex with the housekeeper that leads to a child,

a secret child, that was kind of weird. It's weird, but then we do... That's a bit of a ding. It's definitely a ding for Maria Shriver, but we do get to see that kid. He seems great. He looks a little bit. This kid seems great.

And he also looks a little bit like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's definitely a ding for Maria Shriver. A ding. Which is like, well, Arnold, that's strike. That's definitely strike too, Arnold. It looks like his kid looks like Arnoldwarzenegger is trying to burst through a regular kid like he looks he's like three and two and anamorph you know what i mean turning into arnold schwarzenegger and that's kind of fun to see yeah uh it's time for my first pick

and i mean i'm gonna i'm gonna take a man who two of the biggest action movie franchises of all time although i guess i guess it begs the question is a sports movie an action franchise i think it is i'm taking sylvester stallone yeah yeah yeah so i was one in that too with rocky but like it is it is especially rocky four is like 100 rocky four is a complete action movie. I mean, there's death. It's tense. Yeah, it's invented the montage, which is like action-y.

But dude, Cobra? Over the top? Fucking Cobra. Which one's Cobra? Which one's Cobra? You'll know Cobra when you see it. Cobra's the one where he says, you're the disease and I'm the cure.

He's got the shades and the sawed-off on the cover. Probably not as specific as I need to be, but on the cover of Cobra, I think he's holding an Uzi with a light coming out of it. I think it's got like a laser sight. I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah.

I, you know, since we're getting into these territory without naming other people in the franchise, I've never seen any one of the expendables movies. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

I never, I never thought it would be funny or fun. I don't know. I've never seen any one of the Expendables movies. Interesting. I never thought it would be funny or fun. I don't know. I just never did. They're appropriately named, first of all. Yeah. But, you know, it's kind of fun seeing just a bunch of action stars all just, you know, piled in on top of each other without much interest

in any of them having anything cool to say or do. A bunch of people that want to out-act each other, but just can't. They're very similar. They're similar to what the Fast and Furious movies has become, which is just like too many cast members all just jumping off of shit and shit blowing up and then long dialogue scenes. Why would anybody care?

Yeah. I mean, there's a part of me. I definitely have space for it in my in my body i like it i enjoy it i just never gave it it's weird that you specifically haven't seen those movies it is because i got a lot of a lot of folks in there that i that i fancy we're going to talk about a bunch of them i imagine but yeah uh rambo first blood man that's what's crazy about this guy that's like a good that's i mean it's an action movie no doubt but it this guy. That's like a good, that's, I mean, it's an action movie, no doubt, but it's a,

it's also like a great movie. Oh, Rambo. Yeah. It's a very emotional scene at the end where he finally talks. Cause he, that's the other thing that like some of these guys figure out is that, you know,

like that was really good for Stallone that he barely spoke in that movie. And then when he did, it was the dramatic, you know, it was kind of the whole point of the whole thing was just how fucked up we treat our veterans. And that was Rambo's thing, right? Like he was out and they made him come back in,

right? Isn't that... The Rambo movie, so it just gets like the, you know, the genocide and the one that's just called Rambo, like the just endless scenes of children and innocent people blowing up on landmines. It's brutal. I get it. He's going to

show up and save the day, but it's all made up, so save the day sooner. More people die in that one than all the other ones put together by far. Yeah, that movie is depressing. Three people die in the

first one, right? It's something crazy. It's like some small number like that. Yeah. Stallone in Rocky, it's one of my favorite scenes ever. I often say it's my favorite line of dialogue. He doesn't deliver it, but he's in the scene. It's his scene. It shows his acting as well. When he

walks around the night before the first fight with Apollo, he sees that they have his shorts colors mismatched. He tells the Booker promoter guy and the guy tells him, it doesn't really matter, right? You're just here to lose, which is heartbreaking.

And he goes back home in the middle of the night. Adrian wakes up and he tells her, I can't win. I can't beat him. And it's not, this is why I love it just because I can't go without commenting on it's not, this is why I love it just because I can't go without commenting on it.

She says, what are we going to do? Not what are you going to do? They are a team. Like they are a partner. His fight is her fight. And that whole exchange and dialogue

is one of my favorites in all of film that I've ever seen. And he's an amazing action star. Their relationship in that movie is so... You can't see the goosebumps, but you gave them to me, Dan. They're there.

Thanks for the goosebumps. Is that an eight-year-old at a book fair? Isaac, go ahead and cut that out so we can just have it. Send it to R.L. Stine, Isaac. I just like that existing. But that's the thing is, you know,

Stallone would argue with you, Dan, about his action movie status, especially with regards to Rocky, the first Rocky film. He says it was never about boxing. Never. It was always about that relationship between him and Adrian. I thought that was interesting because there's a lot of boxing in Never. It was always about that relationship between him and Adrian.

I thought that was interesting because there's a lot of boxing in there. And boxing. And the one they had during Christmas? What's that? Boxing up presents? Boxing in the ring? All kinds of boxing. Boxing day. Yeah. Die Hard is

a boxing movie. Treat that, Doug. Die Hard is a boxing movie Die Hard is a boxing day movie and then he continues to crank them out I mean like the Rambo movies of course Cobra over the top like you said but then like over the top Cliffhanger dude Cliffhanger's great they're making a new Cliffhanger

they're bringing it back new Cliffhanger and great. They're making a new cliffhanger. They're bringing it back. New cliffhanger and he's going to be in it, but he says he's only going to hang from one cliff and he's going to let the younger characters do most of the cliffhanging. That's nice of him. But he's like, I got to hang off of one cliff.

I got to do it. I want to be a cliffhanger. You're going to watch me out here hold somebody up from a cord. Good job. Now he's got a dumb reality show with his wives and his daughter.

All the feminine energy that's around him. Can you believe this is what I have to put up with? Whatever he did. It's just him shrugging a lot, looking at the camera. Can you believe it? And the women say that he loves being on camera, that he's the reason

that it's happening. So he's sitting there acting like, look at these crazy people I'm related to. And he's the one that, anyway. I'll go to Erwan. Do they got cheese steaks? It's a cleanse I didn't even know you could do all that

with corn that's crazy hey Paul let's go to Erwan yeah Sylvester Stallone he was one of the two Arnold was the other but when I thought. He was one of the two. Arnold was the other, but when I thought action movie stars, those were the two. Oh, yeah. Especially too. Rocky completely

counts. Yeah, I don't know. Tom Cruise, for some reason, maybe because he just went shot immediately to the top. We don't have to re-litigate Tom Cruise, baby. That's a good pick. Daybreak? Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, no offense to anyone involved,

but he peaked with the first Rocky. He's always been great, but that movie is just off the charts, just came together. It's one of the all-time perfect movies. It's him and Orson Welles, right? They're the only two people that got three Oscars for the same writing, directing, and acting or something. No, not acting. And that's also where

a weird slight is neither one of them won for acting and they both gave really good performances. What were they? It's writing, directing, and what? They were nominated for it. Producing. Producing the movie. They each got three Oscars for the same movie and it was for the same. They're the only two. I just can't remember what it was ever. Speaking of,

he's great in Oscar. You guys remember Oscar? You're not making your case. It's not my case. Oh, I see what you're doing. A saboteur! A saboteur! We just sit here and go, oh, he was great in

and then named bad movies. I like this plan. Honestly, there was a time in my youth I did have a weird soft spot for Oscar. But also Throw Mama from the Train? No, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. Sorry. I got my wires crossed. If you haven't done this in a while, go

watch the trailer for Stop or My Mom Will Shoot or Throw Mama from the Train for that matter. Those old trailers are so... I would never... maybe just because I know what a trailer can be now, but that would never make me want to go see the movie watching these old trailers. It's hilarious. A lot of times it's almost the whole movie, which still happens occasionally

today, but there's a lot of third act stuff in 1980s trailers. Yeah, where they show that person die at the end. You're like, okay. I remember when Throw Mama from the Train came out, they had a clever campaign where one of the ads was just

the moment where Danny DeVito just hits Billy Crystal in the head with a frying pan for no reason. And so it didn't give anything away, but it's just such a funny moment. But you're like, sure. That was really brilliant marketing at the time. Yeah, you want to know why that

happened rather than selling it. Right, and the movie doesn't get any funnier. It's a funny movie, but that is the funniest moment because he just hits him in the head with a frying pan very hard for no reason. Genuine question. Copland, is that an action movie? It's just

funny. We were playing Last Person Stanton one time And I picked that I like I like Stallone in that I like that movie James Mangold's gone on to do some really great stuff At the time that movie was kind of like

Shrugged off like you know Great another you know cops and Mafia or whatever He plays Rocky but like a cop, right? Is that kind of what it is? Yeah, he's like, you know, he did the putting on weight and his character is like partially deaf because the bad guy in the movie

shoots off a gun right near his ear. And, you know, so he's a really downtrodden character and it's kind of a leisurely paced movie. You know, it felt more like a 70s kind of movie. But yeah, I really liked that movie.ies kind of movie, but, uh, but yeah, I really liked that movie. So that's a Dan,

you're helping his case with that one. I was genuinely curious. My uncle Steve shot off a gun next to my ear one time. I should show him that the bad guy in a movie did that. See what you do. He's not to dwell on sly. We'll move on right after that. But he is like,

there's different kinds of action movie stars. You can be Arnold Schwarzenegger, like the, like the God, the impossible person. And then you like sly kind of plays the like the kicked dog even in rocky and even in the first rocky or the first rambo movies he's like the kicked dog biting back after he's been mistreated in rocky he's like that his acting chops are probably top tier action star too keith as far as action stars go he's one of the better actors i guess as far as like pure action guys go yeah

yeah it's such a trope though for me that i don't enjoy uh anymore that be it daniel craig is james bond or any of these other people we were just talking about where they have to get beaten to a bloody fucking pulp and their dog killed and their girlfriend, like they have to have so much piled on before they rise up and, and win. And the whole time, you know, they're going to rise up and win.

And, uh, it's just a frustrating process to me at this point, because they have to keep doing it more and more. Like what was that Jake Gyllenhaal boxing movie? Southpaw. That movie, they were like,

boxing is just not violent enough. Well, let's just make it more violent. There's just such an insanely violent boxing in that movie that it's just like, what is happening? That's not what boxing looks like. When you watch it on TV, it just looks like two guys going... You know, he

is in the Roadhouse remake. We'll see how we feel about that. That's what I'm talking about. Is that Patrick Swayze should have been the last time that happened in cinema. Because Roadhouse is the greatest movie of that kind of all time. And remaking it is ridiculous because Jake Gyllenhaal,

he's going to be... they're going to kill him, put him in a coffin, bury him in the ground, and then he's going to jump out until somebody's thrown out. Like he's going to be practically dead before he fights back and it's going to be stupid.

I would, at this point, I would welcome a movie where they actually do that because it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be prestigey. You know what I mean? Like it would be like, actually, this is a really important story we're talking like it's like no this dude's in a coffin and he punches through it yeah i guess yeah uh speaking of fucking

kicked dog action movie stars i'm taking bruce willis with my second pick wow i'm taking bruce willie For the Die Hard movies alone. He brought fast-talking, smart-aleckiness to the action hero. His lines in Die Hard, they do not age poorly. They're all still funny. None of it's problematic. Pardon me if I'm missing something, but I've watched it I feel like with a fine-tooth comb lately, and I'm like, it's problematic. Pardon me if I'm missing something, but I've watched it, I feel like, with a fine-tooth comb lately,

and I'm like, it's still all funny and good. All of it. Yeah. And he delivers it so well, and it's believable somehow, where you're like, shit, I could do that. And it's one of the only people who can make you feel that way.

People laughed at the trailer. Like, when Die Hard trailer came out, they, of course, had to blow out the ending, so they show him shirtless with the fire hose around his body, jumping off the building, and everybody laughed because it's in slow motion. You can see he's got a gut. Everybody laughed. What the fuck? The guy from Moonlighting? We're supposed to think he's this big action hero? Then when you watch the whole movie and see it all in context, it's all so great and perfect.

It all makes sense. He's some dude, but he's also a cop. He's also got good instincts. He's also clever. He's smart. He's got the instinct. He can navigate the situation and there's some luck involved. Yeah, it's great. And the only thing he does

wrong is he's dumb enough to listen to a guy on the plane that you should take your shoes off and rub your toes into the carpeting to relax. It took me years and years of watching that movie to be like, oh, the writers. Like, it's just, it's so, because for years I'm like, why the hell wouldn't he have shoes on? Why is he shoeless? Why is he shoeless? Seriously, until like my thirties probably. And then I'm like, oh, they did that on purpose. I do that take my shoes off thing, though, because of that movie. I'm like, this probably works. It does work.

This is probably a real thing. Just have your shoes nearby in case, you know, don't do it in Nakatomi Plaza. Absolutely not. No, it's certainly not in the holidays. That was another one of the places I went to immediately in Los Angeles was just looked at it. I was like, oh, there it is. It's real. The Last Boy Scout.

Yeah. I mean, so good. Hudson Hawk's not necessarily a good movie, but he's in that. Action it up. Action it up. He's good at Looper, man. Looper, he's fantastic. He's action-y in Pulp Fiction.

Not that that's an action movie. I'd say it's pretty action-y, that movie. It's a pretty action movie. The Fifth Element. He's action-y in Pulp Fiction. Not that that's an action movie. I'd say it's pretty action-y, that movie. It's a pretty action movie. The Fifth Element, he's great. Future action, bro. Yeah, always a lot of movement. Even back on Moonlighting, he was not somebody who sat still.

He always had a lot of energy moving around. He's physical. Fast talking. I think sometimes, I think he's good in Death Becomes Her, but I also don't buy it for a second that he's that much of a schlub. Well, just his whole career. I get it. He's playing something that he doesn't normally play,

but some actors just, for me, can't do that. Some actors, like George Clooney, when he plays a dumb guy, I don't buy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't buy it at all. I just think, oh, there like George Clooney, when he plays a dumb guy, I don't buy it. I don't buy it at all. I just think, oh, there's George Clooney pretending to be dumb. It must be a scheme. Even in O Brother, Where Art Thou? I guess that kind of works because the whole thing is such a... That's the best one. He's the quarterback

of the whole thing. So oddly dumb. He's such a weird dumb in that one. He's also the smartest of three dumb people. You know what I mean? And he kind of plays that high status dumb guy. Yeah. And he knows he's got good hair.

You know, he's always working the hair. He's at least got that. Bruce Willis. And then even like, I mean, even his cash grab movies that he's had to do, you know what I mean? Tragically, in this later stage of his career are all career, are all like action movies because he knows he can bank on his action movie star persona, or at least people do. Yeah, I think he also liked

probably the schedule of making an action movie because it's very slow. He probably spends a lot of time just sitting around waiting to walk in and do one quick little thing, you know, and then go and wait some more. Less dialogue. You know. It's you know and wait some more yeah dialogue you know stuff yeah it's it's easier for him to do yeah but the man i mean the man just oozes charisma

and action he really does he does it's just that look that look of like um i'll listen to everything you're saying and then i'm my opinion didn't change at all like if i tried to explain something to his character and die hard he'd be like okay like man you just let it all fall off your back didn't you another thing that a thing that kind of hurt him and uh early on is a little too eager to do uh to be in commercials like he was in wine cooler commercials like when he only had a couple of films under his belt he was already kind of like, why?

There's no need to sell out this early in your career. Yeah. Back when you shouldn't have been doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you really believe in the product. Well, he likes being able to, I think they let him sing in the ads.

And he was, him, Eddie Murphy, there's a few people over the years when they become a movie star, they're like, oh, but wait till you hear me sing.

Yeah. Party all the time is a good song. It is a good song. Yeah, he can sing. He's not a bad singer. He's just like, but why? Yeah, but why? But sing privately.

Yeah. He's always playing the harmonica. It's like, yeah, good. You can play the harmonica. You know, I know how to do some magic tricks, but I'm not doing it in your face all the time. Doug, can you do a magic trick anyhow right now? Like, is there any way for you to get that done?

Well, is that a pen behind your ear? Daniel Van Kirk, it's time for your second pick. Before I go to my pick, did you and I just go three for three on the Planet Hollywood trifecta? Whoa, I think we did. That's another ding on all those guys that they invested in that dumb company.

You did. Okay. I have my pick. This person has not done action movies as kind of like the core of what they do for a long time, but I would say from night, and it's been 25 years really since that was the core of what they do for a long time. But I would say from night and it's been 25 years really, since that's where it was a lot of what they did.

Um, but from 1977 to 1997, an icon who created two of the greatest characters of any action franchise, Harrison Ford. Yeah. Yeah. And they've still done those, you know,

sprinkled in there. I mean yes and he would he would mix it up but you're talking Han Solo Indiana Jones you've got

Clear and Present Danger Yeah. Air Force One Air Force One Get off my plane. The Fugitive Patriot Games Patriot Games

The Fugitive Obviously he did a lot of things too that were you you know, drama, prestige flicks and stuff like that. But it's just action. Regarding Henry. Yeah, exactly. The witness. Oh, I like witness. I liked it too.

I was making fun of regarding Henry. Blade Runner? Guys, Blade Runner? Never seen Blade Runner either. You runner never seen blade runner either you've never seen blade runner neither one i'm done lying about movies that i haven't seen i know we talk about this all the time but yeah done doing it so i haven't seen you should watch it you'd like it wow he's one of the few i mean how many of these people could credibly play the president in an action

movie right that's you know there's not a lot anyone that we've listed Stallone nobody's buying maybe now maybe in 2023 Arnold really wanted to no see that's the thing is like Harrison Ford's he had clothes on most of the time you know Jones takes his shirt off for a little bit so he

had to work out for that but especially he's not like shredded though. He's just like... No, he just looks like he's in good shape. There's nothing extra there. Big arms because the fucking punches in Temple of Doom that he takes and gives. That's another one where he is beaten so senselessly. He is such a mess when he rises up and wins the fight.

Yeah. Or when he crawls out onto the side of the cliff and then goes onto the drawbridge and does all that stuff. Like, he should already be dead at that point. But Harrison Ford, yes, I agree. Interesting to look at his, like, Indiana Jones is a doctor of archaeology, right?

I mean, he's a professor, so he probably has his doctorate. Dr. Richard Kimball in The Fugitive is fugitive is like another doctor he plays the president in action movies you kind of have to give him like that you know what i mean you're like but he's the brainy action star he's smart you know he's like he can play those roles and there's not a lot of action stars who can do that kind of thing one of the more consistently grumpy action stars. He doesn't play too many characters that are grumps. He's never having a great time.

Yeah, he's never enjoying it, really. Except, I guess, when he gets his hand on an artifact or something, he seems pretty happy. When he's cruising in the Millennium Falcon, he's having a good time too.

Mm-hmm. There's an implied other movie happening in every Harrison Ford movie, which is the place he'd rather be. Yeah, the stuff that was on his list

to do that day that he's not going to get to. They could just cut to the weed dispensary every 15 minutes that's just like empty that he'd rather be like walking into.

I remember I saw Mark Hamill talking about, you know, being all green on the set of a star Wars, a new hope. And you know, he's like, can't ask Alec Guinness for acting pointers, you know?

So he asked Han, Han Solo, he asked Harrison Ford something about acting and Harrison Ford just completely just blew him off. Like, what are you even talking about? This movie is so dumb. What are you doing? You know what one of them was, Doug? It was when they're in the trash

compactor thing and they get out and Mark Hamill's hair isn't wet, it's dry, and he asks Harrison about it and he goes, we're not making that kind of movie, kid. Don't worry about it. I bet he looked so cool when he said it, too. I bet he had a cute little smile when he said it.

He also probably didn't break stride. He just kept walking. We're not in that kind of movie, kid. It's funny how they arrived at Harrison Ford's hairstyle as Han Solo solo the first time you see him that's like i guess it was kind of a 70s hair but it was still like uh just even convincing a man like harrison ford to wear his hair like that it didn't seem you know what i

mean when he wasn't on set it probably looked kind of silly probably looked like a soap opera actor or something. Doug, time for your second pick. Oh my goodness. The things that you have been throwing out here. No one has said a name that I wrote down pre-show. Like you're hitting all the ones that I had some sort of reason to not include them. And since I already brought him up earlier and I think he personified action in a really special way, more as an

actor who was different all the time in action roles, not playing the same action character every time. And that is the late, great Patrick Swayze. Dude, so we just watched Roadhouse a bunch because my wife was in a rendition of Roadhouse in Portland. And so I've seen it three times probably in the last couple weeks.

It's so insane and great. The commitment to the ridiculousness of it, that he just commits to that character to a point where you're almost like, this is a good movie. But you're not. Yes. Because it's a crazy, silly movie. They eat the tail

where they're like, maybe I was wrong. Thinking it's insane. There's a world famous door guy. It doesn't help him that nobody else can really... Other than Sam Elliott, nobody else can really sell it either. Anytime he's dealing with any other adversary, they're just cardboard. They're not getting anything back. They're overweight

stuntmen that can take a punch. Yeah. They're not getting anything back. They're overweight stuntmen that can take a punch. Yeah. You know, they say something ridiculous. They say, let's get nipple to nipple, and they get punched in the face. It must have been so much better to be a stuntman in the 80s, where the bad guys were like these beer-chugging southerners and stuff like that. And nobody cared

if you were just actually doing drugs on set. Everybody's got to have a shredded eight-pack, you know what I mean? You have to be like some? Everybody's got to have like a shredded eight pack. You know what I mean? You have to be like some, you have to have an MMA shredded body. And I thought about this too. Stuntmen in the 80s and pro wrestlers. You could just walk out there and just do this a couple times and you're ready to go.

I mean, you're going to lose. You're there to lose. But you just had to be the guy people didn't want to fight at the bar. Like that was all you had to be. That was the apex. You didn't have to be fucking like perfect looking. You didn't have to be the guy people didn't want to fight at the bar like that was all you had to be that was the apex you didn't have to be fucking like perfect looking you didn't have to be like a male model you didn't have to be patrick blazing and movies used to like uh like each time you'd see a villain uh they just you know are an intimidating figure in these scenarios they just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger you know like, it went from Ted Cassidy and then to the guy who played Jaws, Richard Keel.

And then in this one movie, Gator, that Burt Reynolds did, he found a guy, he wanted Richard Keel, but he was busy or something. But he wanted a guy that size, and he found a guy that's even bigger who the entire movie has to drive a car with no roof because he can't fit in a regular car. That's perfect. And I just love that. We need to find, I guess with CGI, we can bring that back

and just take a regular-sized actor and make him 10 feet tall. Sure. We just need to get NBA washouts, people who got drafted but the team never brought them over. So they're a Bulgarian center on some way. They need to get the fish that failed Pittsburgh. Yeah. So Pat Swayze, Roadhouse.

You have Point Break again. Point Break. You got Roadhouse is just perfect into and of itself. And he's the hero. Then you got point break, which is also perfect in its weird way. Like the most amazing action direction, but everything else was a little loosey-goosey. Let Gary Busey say whatever nonsense he wants to say. Loosey-goosey, Gary Busey.

Yeah. But boy, he nails the bad guy and also the Zen bad guy, you know? That'd be interesting to revisit that movie. I know they did a remake that was stupid. It was such a bummer. But they should revisit it with

Keanu as the badder as Bodhi. Why can't they be more creative like that? Sure, I'm not like against reboots or nostalgia or whatever but like it's completely different the new point they just made it like more extreme stunts

that they were yes and the new fucking roadhouse is going to be completely different too it's like in the new roadhouse he's like he's like a retired UFC guy or some shit and he's like down on his luck or whatever that's not what this movie was. It's so goddamn frustrating. What about Next of Kin?

Next of Kin. Red Dawn. Red Dawn. Early Swayze. Black Dog. Black Dog. To Wong Fu, an incredibly physical, heroic performance in that movie. A lot of action.

That was one of my favorite movies growing up. Dude, it's hilarious. The physicality that he'd always bring. Dirty Dancing Ghost. The fucking pottery scene. I know there's no action in that movie and he's not an action hero, but just the iconic nature of that.

And that he accomplished all these iconic roles while also eventually battling cancer and dying too young. Again, I really appreciated that he was a guy who could have just made action movies, but he did all sorts of stuff while keeping in good shape. He was a man completely he was very inside his body in everything he did. And is dancing action.

That's a great, yes. Movement, physical performance. I think that John wick is full of choreography. Like I, he is, Keanu is constantly having to learn what's essentially our dance moves.

It's, you know, it's just putting everything in the right place at the right time and not, not hitting the person that you're working with. Dirty Dancing, top 10 action movie. That's what we're saying here. Well, if you were ranking abortion movies, I'd definitely get Dirty Dancing way up. It's a top 10 abortion movie for sure.

Probably the top one, maybe. Yeah, which is the next draft. We're doing that right after this episode. Oh, no. Oh, no. You finally got around to it. It's abortionortion Movies Part 2. Sean Jordan, time for your second and third picks,

as it is a serpentine draft. Hasn't been too active in the last, I don't know, 30 years or so, but he's sprinkled in there a couple. But growing up, these were my movies. This was who I wanted to be. This is what I thought. It was just the best for me. It was the end all.

It's my dad's favorite action star. And I watched two of his movies in the hospital with my dad one time. I'm going to say your boy Jean-Claude Van Damme. Oh, yeah. I took Bloodsport and Kickboxer to the hospital because my dad was like, you got to bring in some movies, bud. We watched those two movies. Oh, dude, Cyborg is...

That villain in Cyborg is terrifying. That villain is scary as hell. He is so, so scary. The main guy, the main villain in Cyborg, dude, you got Double Impact, you got Street Fighter, you got Black Eagle, you got Death Warrant,

you got Nowhere to Run, you got Bloodsport, Kickbox you got nowhere to run you got double team with double team double impact i mean they weren't all great but there was probably seven in a row that were like if you like that they were perfect your blood sports kickboxers time cop dude time cop that's another one with me hard target the Hard Target. Hard Target. That's with Rosanna Arquette. The bug is the feature. The fact that they're bad is what's good. You know what I mean? Like that.

Well, I don't. The older I get, the more I'm like, they're not bad because I like them. So I don't. They're not bad. I just like them. So I just admit that I guess I like what some might say is a bad movie. But like Bloodsport, I think that movie rules. I don't think it's bad.

I like it. I think it's good. And yes, the acting is bad. I like it. I think it's good. And yes, the acting is sub, like it has the fixings of a bad movie, but I do like it. And I'm there to watch the fights and Chun-Li and like, you know, it's just rules.

It's, I mean, it goes back to, I mean, like, I mean, the part of the essence of what we're drafting here is like, you know, the Patrick Swayze, part of what made him great was that he didn't just do action movies. Jean-Claude Van Damme, part of what made him great was that he didn't just do action movies. Jean-Claude Van Damme,

part of what makes him perfect is that he only does action movies. That's it. Yeah, and he's like, are there two things that I can put one foot on one of them and one foot on the other one that are close enough together? Because I'm not that tall.

The kitchen counters in Time Cop, when he does that, jumps up onto them. Time Cop's probably his best movie, right? I would say probably from a whole movie. It's most like a real movie that just happens at him. Yes. I'm a Bloodsport man myself, but yeah.

I used to do the splits on chairs when I was in Taekwondo. I could do it, and I would do it because of that. It was not at all convenient, but I would do it. One thing about Van Damme is he thinks he's a good actor he i mean who am i to say he's not well in jcvd he's like exactly right jcvd is great though because he's he's playing you know himself and he was kind of one of the first dudes i mean i guess arnold in last action hero was maybe the first first dude but like kind like, did this sort of like, but he didn't really play himself, but he's like,

I'm playing myself in this meta that other actors have since gone on to do who we haven't mentioned yet. And he cried on his like 20 minute monologue or whatever. He cried. It was great. Like, oh shit. He's the only action,

the only action hero on this that we've drafted so far today who refused to fight me in a bar. So far. All the other ones did and lost. No, all the other ones, I never had that opportunity, but still, approached

Van Damme in a bar. He was talking to a friend of mine, a lady friend of mine, but we weren't dating at the time, Karen Anderson. Love Karen Anderson. Yeah, she's the greatest. We went to that bar specifically because she was like, let's go to a bar where we might see celebrities. I'm like, I hear celebrities go to this bar.

We go in there. I go to the bathroom. I come out. She's standing there talking to Jean-Claude Van Damme at the bar. When I walk up, he thinks I'm her boyfriend and I'm mad at him. He's like, hey, I'm mad at him. And he's like, hey, I'm not doing anything. And jokingly, I raise up my fists like, let's go.

And then he backs off, holds his hands up and backs off and says, I cannot fight you for I will lose. I'll never forget those words because it's a terrible sentence. But also, it's his way of saying he will lose in court. Yes, for he would not have lost in person. He was drunk, but not too

drunk to know that he can't just be a bunch of dudes in court. You know he's charmed his way out of some scrapes with that one too. Where like some actual tough guys who are like, you know, doing it for the story. of some scrapes with that one too we're like some actual tough guys who are like you know doing it for the story oh guys when i used to work door in downtown la there were so many times something we'd throw somebody out they'd say the meanest things to me and i would go hey that really hurts my feelings when you say that like if you were like i'm trying

to lose weight and you keep calling me a fat ass and when you go in like that like oh i can't fight you i would lose. It makes people, especially when they're drunk, their brains break. They're like, wait, what? I hurt your feelings? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. It's so disarming. That's such a great line, even though Doug, you're right,

he totally means in court, but it's such a disarming like, oh, I'll lose. I can't fight you. It's a no-win situation for him. The Van Damme movies, they're all like little you could just insert here. They're all interchangeable, pretty much. They're all fun. Universal Soldier, dude,

another one. I just loved them. I loved every single thing about them. I was at the right age for all of it. It was all for me. So, yeah, Jean-Claude Van Damme, hands down. And then, number three, I'm going, this is

one that I'm basing off of franchises here. And I actually heard you talk about it the other day on Douglas Movies. Natural plug, natural plug. Zoe Saldana. Oh! Whoa! I was wondering if anyone's going to say a lady. I wasn't sure if we were just making this about that.

I got some ladies. Well, if you look at Zoe Saldana's lineup, and I thought of her because of Guardians of the Galaxy. Originally, I was just thinking of like, who's in those universes. And then you realize like Star Trek and Avatar, and she's even got a couple sneakers in there, like Columbiana, stuff like that.

But those are... She's in Pirates of the caribbean movie too yeah so i mean those are huge huge franchises and she is in all of them and that's just crazy in itself to be like there's a bunch of actors that have played like multiple superheroes who we might talk about there's a few that have played two different superheroes and that's crazy enough but to be in like star trek avatar and the marvel universe is ridiculous i not that she gives a fuck what i think she does zoe take it off me all those movies skip across my brain like a rock skipping across a pond i couldn't say like i i don't like i mean can't think. You mean you don't like, I know you're not like super into the Marvel stuff.

I don't, yeah, I mean, I'm going to see Spider-Man right after this, so I do like superhero movies. It's wonderful. I can't wait. It's been out for a few weeks, because it's June 15th, but it's really good. A few weeks. Yeah, yeah. I like to wait three weeks after a movie premieres before I go see it, but I couldn't tell you my, like, what I loved her in, you know what I mean?

Even though I know she's been in these movies, I couldn't get, like, the signature. I couldn't say the my, like what I loved her. And you know what I mean? Even though I know she's been in these movies, I couldn't get like, no, I'm, I couldn't say this signature is always Sal Dana fight. I'm the most familiar with, uh, her Marvel roles,

obviously guardians of the galaxy. And that's what I can speak to. And like, I can say that I really do enjoy her in, uh, I'm just the other ones. I am honestly just basing it off like, Holy buckets.

This is an action star because she's in those franchises but like you know avatar i didn't really flip out about it star trek i certainly didn't care too much about marvel stuff is fantastic she's fantastic in it um and also you got what could have been your last pick out of the way and i respect you for that yeah yeah my last pick's gonna be gnarly and it'll still be there it ain't going anywhere so yeah i mean again i'm not please don't you you don't sounds like you are so ian didn't what i'm hearing is ian didn't want me to pick a woman so it's time for the next one that's right i just don't fucking i'm not going to see like i'm not who's in there

zoe saldana shit i gotta check that out like i know what you mean that might just be me that might just well i think in the vein of what I took the action movie, and again, too, your argument is very sound. She doesn't, this is a Hollywood term that we all know, she can't open a movie. Yeah. She's not the, you're not going to that new

Zoe flick. Well, that's what Colombiana was. But that doesn't mean she's not awesome, an amazing action star, but. Yeah. Also, drumline. I mean, come on, there's action. Oh, sorry. State movies are on. I think she's always excellent. There's a movie with Mark Ruffalo she did.

I think it's called like something polar bear, like infinite polar bear or something. And I thought she was terrific in that. I think she's a really good actress, but I'm kind of surprised to hear her come up in this context for reasons that Ian was saying. And like, you know, one interesting thing about her career is that, uh, you know, those three franchises you talk about, all of them, she's either blue or green.

Yeah. Like she's playing somehow she got this market of a woman of color who's always playing different colored faces. And she's good at it. But Gamora really is a great, one of the all-time action characters. Her fighting scenes in those

movies are terrific. Well, just her and Thanos, that whole storyline. Infinity War is phenomenal. It's shocking like when she realizes what's about to go down when they're getting the last all that stuff like that that's crazy but I just this is the

pick where I was like did put it together that this person is in three huge action franchises which that's that's just that says a lot yeah was that my third pick or second third Doug it's time for you a third pick all second? That was my third. Doug, it's time for you, a third pick. All right.

It doesn't get any more badass than an actress who is not a stunt person riding a motorcycle on the top of a train and then jumping off of it while the train is in motion. Landing on the train, skipping off of it, onto the ground is in motion. Landing on the train, skipping off of it, onto the ground. Stunt work. The great, and just won her first Oscar, Michelle Yeoh.

Ah, fuck. Yeah. I should have taken her with my second pick. Yeah. It just doesn't get any more action hero than somebody who physically did the stunts and lived to tell about it. And also hasn't necessarily made it her thing either. She's acting in all sorts of roles.

I just went and saw Crouching just months ago. I went and saw Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon when it was in theaters again recently. She's fucking amazing in that too. She's so good. You know what, Doug? You've taken in a row two trained

ballet dancers. Because that was Michelle Yeoh's Miss Malaysia, but then also she was a ballet dancer. That was her thing coming up and then transition from that into martial arts. Most of the people we've said, if given the opportunity,

would probably be terrific in a musical. Because except for maybe Schwarzenegger, everybody's really about movement. He'd be funny in a musical. Oh, God. It'd be fun to hear. He must have had a cameo in a musical or something at some point.

I don't know. But yeah, Michelle Yeoh is just seeing her finally win that Oscar for a movie that brings back. I mean, it wasn't like necessarily stunt heavy, but there was a lot of fight choreography she had to do. Her and Ki Hai Kwan, who talk about it. He's like a dark horse like candidate for this thing because of being fighting as a kid in Indiana Jones and Goonies and now as an adult in everything everywhere.

What an incredible story. I want to change my answer. No, I'm kidding. You know, another bummer. I still haven't seen Everything Everywhere All at Once either. I know it's such a travesty. I'm not even the hugest fan of it.

I liked it, but I didn't... I mean, whatever. We don't need to get into that, but you would really enjoy it. The fighting is my favorite. All the action in it is my favorite aspect of it. I'm not much of a time travel guy. Yeah, I'm with you on that, but the action in it is like fantastic. The movies I have seen

in lieu of that are more upsetting than not having seen that. That's the frustrating part the movies i've watched i watched funny people two nights ago i've probably seen funny people 50 times i was just like oh it's on and that because these some movies you can have on while you're doing stuff and like everything everywhere all at once i'm like i gotta treat it like yeah so it's that's part of it it's just me not having the attention span which is sad she got an oscar for an action movie too i know it's not just a pure action movie but that's part of it. It's just me not having the attention span, which is sad. She got an Oscar for an action movie too.

I know it's not just a pure action movie, but that's a fucking action movie, right? I mean, yeah, they both did. I mean, Ki Hai Kwan plays like a,

like a dual role in it and does it really well. Like when he taps that thing and changes personality in an instant, like, you know, and Jamie Lee Curtis, you know, let's face it. She got a lifetime award.

Yeah, she did. It's just like, Hey, congratulations for it she got a lifetime award yeah she did it's just like hey congratulations for looking ugly in a movie here's an Oscar yeah she was great she did a great job but you know some of the other acting that went on in that category was you know there's a lot more heavy lifting but glad she has one

in general good for you know and Michelle Yeoh just plus when Jamie Lee Curtis talks about Michelle Yeoh, just, plus when Jamie A. Curtis talks about Michelle Yeoh, just the enthusiasm which she says, Yeoh, is a lot.

She hits it. Yeah. Yeah, she really fucking, Michelle Yeoh is the greatest. You know, she's like,

because she, you know, she said yes to doing the movie just based off of it. Michelle Yeoh was going to be in it. She was willing to say that. just based off of Michelle Yo. Her ability to say that. She hasn't been able to say yo that hard since she was slaying in Activia.

So she'll take any opportunity. It's yogurt. Yo, are you irregular? Yo, yo, yogurt. DVK, time for your third pick. All right. Well, with my first pick, I think I went with just the brand of what you think when you think action,

hero, action, actor, superstar. My second pick, I went with what you think of when you just think of franchises of action. You're Star Wars, you're Indiana Jones. This actor has been doing it since I believe the early 80s. I looked it up.

139 acting credits. I bet you I would guess 130 of them. Maybe all 139 are action. Even is an animated voice in an action movie. It's all action. Pure action all the time. You think about a police story you think about super cop you think about rush hour you think jackie chan yeah i mean you want to talk

about doing stunts insane i never knew you could beat someone up with refrigerator doors until i saw jackie chan do it just unreal if anybody listening to this has never gone and really watched his work from the 80s and 90s, if all you know is, was it Shanghai Nights and Rush Hour? Shanghai Noon and Shanghai Nights? Yeah. He'd get his style of fighting into those movies and they're fun,

but you really got to watch Drunken Master. Oh my God. Super cool. Yeah, just some of that stuff. Maybe stay away from the you really got to watch like drunken master, you know, super, uh, yeah, just some of that stuff, you know, maybe, maybe stay away from the tuxedo.

That one's kind of rough, but rumble in the Bronx is hilarious and great. It's super fun. I mean, there's things you're watching him on fire escapes, like move between rungs of ladders, drop down a story,

catch himself on the side, like unreal. The stuff he can do on the side. Unreal, the stuff he can do in action movies. And at the end, you get to see him getting brutally hurt and being put into an ambulance almost every one of his movies. He's kind of like

Evel Knievel. He's broken most bones in his body. I got such a good point I forgot because the bloopers in some of his movies, they're like, oh, here's the blooper reel. The blooper reel is time production got shut down for six weeks. Yeah. If they played the jackass theme over that, they could have put it in the theaters. Oh, could you imagine

a collab with jackass and Jackie? Dude, that'd be so fucking funny. Jackie is. Yeah. It's a weird thing in his movies. I guess some actors have this where you're like you're watching him pummel someone with a ladder or get his face beat in you know me with a fun and there's like the main thing you're feeling is joy you know you're like it's like he had

joyous fight sequences where you're just like this fucking rules i'm happy he seems happy and i think it's what you said earlier, but like, Oh, I guess they're just an action movie. It's the ability to sell it. He can sell it. He sells it so well. Every movie. And it's so fast.

It's, it's yeah. And choreography and having to do like a lot of these things without a ton of cutting, like they don't cut around a lot. Sometimes I'll just hold on him doing something, uh, amazing. And then he,

you know, and then he ends up hitting himself in the face almost every time. Like the guy just was, uh, uh, did not mind the abuse, I guess. You know,

there's a phenomenon. I feel, I think it's like when you go watch old standup and you don't laugh, you know what I mean? Like Lenny Bruce, even though the crowd is laughing or you watch a movie from like the fs or 60s and it's really slow and people loved it then and you kind of don't think it's that good where it's like I worry that maybe future generations will watch Jackie Chan movies and never really appreciate it because they'll be able to CGI a lot of that stuff but you go back

and watch that and you're like that's happening that's really like every part of this is really happening he almost got hit in the face with a ladder he did in fact in other takes the thing that will have it hold up is what Doug touched on it's when they just shoot it in the master they just shoot it in the wide and you really see it because when you to go back to

Keanu that dojo scene where they just drop back and you watch them go back and forth and it's just choreographed dancing also like what Doug said about like Swayze and stuff it's unreal so the fact that he still have so much in the wide I hope people will always go this is

crazy what I'm seeing I think they'll appreciate it the fact that like it'll be known that that is real and even though by that time you can't tell CGI is fake or whatever it's still something to the original like to know for sure yeah there's just something to that yeah uh jackie jenny pick jackie jen great pick time for my uh third and fourth picks with my third pick i'm going i'm going somebody who is a a movie star just in general you probably don't maybe think of them as an action movie star right off the bat,

but then you start to look at their IMDb and you're like, oh shit, this dude is in a lot of action movies. I'm taking Denzel Washington. I thought about this as well. It crossed my mind and I just missed it. I felt the same way. And then I started to really dig in to the guy's resume. Well, you love Glory.

I'm a big Glory guy. And I think the racial politics of it, I mean, hold up to this day. But the action alone. Glory is one of those movies that I want to watch a lot, but I'm like, it's so heavy. I'm not looking for this heavy of a feeling, but man, it's a good movie. I mean, this is a guy who can do fucking fences. You know what I mean? He can do Macbeth.

He can play those roles. But he also can make the Equalizer 2. He can make two guns. He can make fucking Man on Fire, which is one of the great action movies. Unstoppable. They're taking a Pelham 1, 2, 3. I mean, he fucking De fucking deja vu every now and

then he's gonna make a goddamn action movie you know like he can't he knows that's part of the training day he knows that's part of what makes the entire denzel package he's one of our smartest canniest movie stars when it comes to like picking roles canny canny yeah you don't hear that a lot yeah without the un he just he like he just knows what kind of movies to make and he knows like hey listen part of denzel washington at least from like 1995 on includes an action movie every now and then yeah you've sold it they had a nice partnership with Tony Scott. They made a bunch of good movies together. But that's why I don't think of him as an

action star as much as a man who's in movies with action in them. I know there's two guns with Mark Wahlberg, but I'm having a hard time even just imagining too many movies where Denzel's in there actually physically fighting somebody.

He's more like investigating things and his stuff is more character driven than the action. But the watch scene in Equalizer, when he looks at his watch and he looks around, that's such a great action scene. But you're not wrong either, Doug. You're not. No, you're definitely right. If he is an action star, he is a, and I think I say he is, but he is a different kind of action star. He's like, he's going to get it

done more with like a brains and a gun than with like biceps. He's a movie star without the asterisk, you know, without having to include the word action. You know, some of these other people, if you don't say action, if you just go, this is the greatest movie star, you go, wait a second, you know, without having to include the word action. You know, some of these other people, if you don't say action, if you just go this is the greatest movie star, you'd go, wait a second, you know, like,

you know, Nicholson or whatever, you know. I thought about that too. Brando, you know, a lot of the greatest actors, you know, Olivier, a lot of people think of the greatest actors of all time, but barely have done any action. It took Star Wars to get Sir Alec Guinness, one of the most amazing actors of all action. It took Star Wars to get Sir Alec Guinness, one of the

most amazing actors of all time. It took Star Wars to just get him into a sword fight scene. Yeah. I accept all of that, and I still just think he's one of those sneaky ones.

He's great. Let me draft someone about whom there was no ambiguity i'm gonna go ahead and take vin diesel himself whoa yeah what yeah doug has left the chat you're going i'm taking vin diesel of course, well, I mean, he's a weird action star. Yeah, I would agree. He's kind of a strong man, but his body's not that great. Like, he gets into fights. Boy, if he listens, you just cut him to the core.

I'm not really afraid of Vin Diesel. Do you think he's a good car driver in real life? No, I don't buy it. No. I don't think he is. He absolutely does not have to be to be in those movies. But there's just something. There's something about him. There's some ineffable quality.

Don't forget about that. He's got the fucking resume. There's the Fast and the Furious franchise, which in and of itself, that covers the last two decades of action movies. He did another one where he was like... Let's not be Riddick. Oh yeah, Riddick. The Chronicles of Riddick.

Didn't he do one where he was like a man on fire type guy? Wasn't there something like that? He seems like he's always got something eating at him. A man apart, he did. Yeah, a man apart. I like that movie. But now you're just poo-pooing Sean's Apart. I like that movie. But now you're just poo-pooing Sean's choice of

Zoe Saldana, but now you're picking another Marvel character. I know, but not like Baby Groot. He's Groot. He plays him at every age. He played Baby Groot. He played Teenage Groot. I love that shit. I think it's great. He played Cut in Half Groot. I think I have to watch my action movie

start beat... I mean, like hurt someone when it's great. Cutting half fruit. I think I have to watch my action movie star beats. I like, I mean like hurt someone where it's them doing it and not a CGI of them, but I, but he is, he isn't a Marvel movie. He grew. He,

I don't know what the big stink is. I think that's a great pick. Why would I'm a fan of knock around guys where he plays a Jew. Give me that. I'll take that. He plays a, he plays a Jewish dude in a boiler room too, which there's some sort of action in boiler room and I love boiler room. So I think it's knock around guys where he plays the Jewish dude in Boiler Room too which there's some sort of action in Boiler Room

and I love Boiler Room I think it's Knock Around Guys where he plays the Jewish guy I think I'm grateful that he didn't follow Schwarzenegger specifically into like every other movie has to be a comedy because remember Vin Diesel had some success with The Pacifier which I hated

Yeah He's also on Saving Private Ryan And then there was more of that He just became serious It really feels like pacifier, which I hated. Yeah. He's also on Saving Private Ryan. He just became serious. It really feels like in the last decade, he's just been Dom and Groot. And his entire life outside of

movies is very funny to me. And I love it. Where he's Mark Sinclair. He's just a very silly man. He's a very silly, lovely walking into a Laker game. And he had pants on where each leg looked like a big, long,

different bandana. And then he had a, he was wearing like a Dom shirt, like a cutoff sleeve, button up denim jacket almost. And it's like, bro, you don't have to do that.

I mean, that means you like to do that. So the line is blurred. And that's fine. Who am I to say, dress how you have to do that. I mean, that means you like to do that. The line is blurred between Dom and Toretto. And that's fine. We might just say, dress how you want. Go nuts. But maybe he's one of those people where he's turning into Dom

more than he ever thought he would or something. Or did he decide to call himself Vin Diesel? And this has just been the case. And that's just where it was going to go. And this is the other thing. This is the other thing about drafting him. And again, in the fourth round, the man's name is Vin Diesel.

Dude, two of our friends, I want to air him out, but one of them, he goes, he was asking another friend. He goes, what do you think Vin Diesel's real name is? And when our friend goes, oh, it's got to be Vincent, right?

And he goes, no, his real name. So for a second, he thought his name was short for Vincent Diesel, his real name. So for a second, he thought his name was short for Vincent Diesel. For real. God bless him. In real life, it's short for Vinny D. Vinny D. It's long for Vinny D.

We're going to get, so Vin Diesel's my fourth round pick. We're going to get to the rest of the fourth round right after another very short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country, you figure it out from there.

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and beyond, they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. His real name is Mark Sinclair. Oh. Mark Sinclair.

That's a real bold choice, that Vin Diesel name. Doug, were you the one who told me the Vin Diesel story? Like how he became what he is? I don't think so. I don't think I know it. That was you. Maybe it was the Sklars. This was a long time ago.

I guess the word on Vin is that he was a door guy at clubs, but he would ask for Friday nights off and then he would wear all white and he would go and rent a white Phantom Bentley and he would go to, this is the early to 90s or whatever,

he would go to whatever was like the biggest club in LA. He would drive to that club. He'd park right in front. And then he'd walk in and he did this every Friday night till what he thought. And maybe that's why it happened. People were like, who is that guy? What's his story?

And then he just fake it till you make it into whatever he did before Saving Private Ryan. Because I don't think that was his first. They were probably all just sitting around going, is that Pitbull? They'd be early on that tip. He was in, it says his first movie was Awakenings. He was in Orderly and he was

uncredited. Oh, that's funny. His first real movie, I think, on here is called Strays, but then it was Saving Private Ryan. Sounds like Saving Private Ryan was like the one. He's got a real toss to side role. He doesn't have a good role in Private Ryan. He's just around.

No, he's good. He has that great scene with the girl where he tries to save her. He's the first death scene. Yeah. Really? Yeah. He's the first one that saves the girl. And he's like,

make sure that the letter doesn't have blood on it, you know, to give to my dad. It's pretty good. Are we still talking action movies? Vin. Just talking Vin. We do five rounds?

Is that what we do? We do five rounds. We'll do the fifth round is a lightning round. Okay. Oh, shit. We can leave all that in too if we're still talking Vin. We took a break. Now we're back.

God bless it. I just did my fourth pick. Vin Diesel. Mark Sinclair. DVK, time for your fourth pick. Vin Diesel, Mark Sinclair, DVK, time for your fourth pick. Okay. I went back and forth on this.

Maybe I'll end up just being able to get both of them, but I really wanted one of, if not both of these two, and who I would take here was the tough to call for me. I'm going to have to go with Charlize. Yeah, totally. I think,

I mean, Hitchcock alone, guys, Hancock. Hancock, it's good, man. I like that. And Alfred Hitchcock, her work mean Hitchcock alone guys Hancock it's good man I like that movie her work with Hitchcock when she played Alfred Hitchcock she played three of the birds three of the birds yeah

Ian's not a big fan of the bait man so you're not gonna sell him on Hancock but I'm here Fury Road alone oh my god she steals the movie from Mad Max yes yeah the movie should just be called Furiosa Road and then the stairwell scene

in Atomic Blonde what is it 16 minutes continuous 17 something like that unreal going to town yeah

and she's done more she's also in the fast movies she's in like the last three she's in the fast movies with Blonde Reds dude she's out here yes fully in an action movie granted the first two she's in one last three. She's in the fast movies with Blonde Reds, dude. She's out here. Granted, the first two, she's in one confined space and never goes anywhere.

But she's in. But yeah, she's so good. And she just showed up in a Marvel movie. She's in the Italian job? Yeah, the Italian job. I think that Fury Road puts her for certain and the other one you mentioned, Atomic Blonde.

She's amazing in both those movies. I haven't seen the latest Fast and Furious, but to me, she doesn't really have great action stuff in those movies. And I feel like she still wants to be a serious actress, so she's not going to go all action all the time. She still wants to be a serious actress, so she's not going to go all action all the time. But I would certainly applaud it if she did, because she really is good at that stuff. So, I mean, just... Even if all she'd ever done in action

was Atomic Blonde and Fury Road, I would have no problem, obviously, with myself or anybody else drafting her. To the greats. Mighty Joe Young. Charlize Theron. Doug, time for your fourth pick. Okay.

I'm going to go with something that came up when the world was so excited about Michelle Yeoh's achievement in Everything Everywhere All at Once. Like people started kind of throwing around, just kind of talk about women action stars and stuff. And somebody, I think they overlooked the impact of Miss Sigourney Weaver. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Ripley, especially in the first film, but then

throughout the series, was just such a strong character. But, in the second film, actually, I should say, when she gets in that loader machine. Yeah, absolutely. Kicks ass in that. Incredible. And just, you know, Avatar movies.

She's just had one of those careers where she does lots of interesting roles and when they are action, she absolutely nails it. Well, she's probably the first, right? The first kind of female action star,

right? Well, you know, that's the thing. People start to, people start to, you know, nerd out and name things

that happened earlier that would be considered a female action star. Someone would be like that Joan of Arc movie they made in France in the 1930s. When you think of the Alien franchise, you think of Ripley being gnarly. And to me, I can't think of anyone first, a different woman who carried the franchise. She was one of the more sympathetic characters because it wasn't really you know it wasn't really about liking any of them but uh she was she was the most logical and would do things that made more sense even though she goes looking for the cat at one point too but um ridiculous she's but she's just like and but then in the end when she's just like, she prevails over the alien in her underwear alone in space.

Like, you know, it's such a big moment. You see Sigourney Weaver and you're like, well, here's someone who could kick my ass. Oh, for sure. You're like, this is somebody who would whoop my fucking ass. She's just as tough,

man. And very believable as the you know the demon in Ghostbusters yeah she is yeah that's a great pick Sean Jordan time for your fourth and then your final picks okay well fourth pick not all

action the catalog is wall to wall with this person, but the action movies they have been in are some of the best that have ever been made. And I'm going to say Nicolas Cage. Sure. Wow. Yeah.

I mean, come on, what are we doing? Con Air alone, it's just perfect. Yeah. It's absolutely, yeah, the rock, gone in 60 seconds face off he tends to be he tends to be a thinking man's action hero like he does have fistfights sometimes and stuff but like as stanley goodspeed in the rock right he uh he's just the smart guy standing around just like trying to explain to people how crazy everything is he's a bit of a he's a bit of a Denzel that way. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

But also his turn in Kick-Ass, I think is one of the greatest portrayals of a superhero. Oh, I think he's amazing in it. His father-daughter relationship with that is so great. Nobody else knows how to scream like that. When he screams in that movie,

when they set him on fire, it is blood-curdling. It's crazy. He gets into it. He's Mr. Commitment. National Treasure. South Dakota, baby. That's where they go. I fucking love those movies. I love a dumb...

I know we've gone long already, but sign me up for a dumb, smart movie seven days a week and twice on Sunday. I love a fucking dumb, smart movie. National Treasure. Give me the Da Vinci Code. Let me feel a little

bit smart, even though the whole thing is dumb. You feel like you learned at least one thing important when you watch those movies. I learned nothing from those Dan Brown movies. Not a goddamn thing. I just tune out as soon as it's like isn't religion scary i'm like yeah that people are so into it i guess yeah you know but other than that i don't care about

finding them religious artifacts so yeah nicholas cage don't need to we've definitely talked about old nick a few times on the show. Captain Corelli's mandolin alone. Last pick, I'm picking the dank to the buck. Van Damme was the buck and I got to pick the dank and it's going to be Steven Seagal. Okay. I thought he would go undrafted.

Now, had to do it. Well, Sean's a big Putin guy. Marked for death. Above the law. They're so, so, so Sure. And out for justice. Above the law. They're so, so, so good. And also, he's the one... Nobody wears a dashiki better than he does.

No. He fell off. He fell off hard. That's all right. Exit wounds. For me, it just... I still like exit wounds. I used to call it DM exit wounds.

I had the soundtrack. That was one of the first soundtracks I bought. This movie's hard as fuck. I just... I love it, man. I used to call it DM Exit Wounds. I had the soundtrack. That was one of the first soundtracks I bought. This movie is hard as fuck. I love it, man. I love those movies. I will always love them. Not so much. I'm talking

Above the Law, Marked for Death, Out for Justice. Those three movies. Those are the ones you like, but Under Siege is the bad one? I'm not... I don't know. You're an upside-down man, man. I guess Tommy Lee Jones. The 200 Siege movies

are not only the best Steven Seagal movies, hands down, but they're also reasonably good action movies. They happen to have Steven Seagal in them.

Tommy Lee, Busey. Yeah. I just like watching you send one of those dishes back to the kitchen where all of a sudden they're like,

oh, you like Steven Seagal and the chef's going crazy. He's like, I'll make all the Steven Seagal. Keep sending the kitchen where all of a sudden they're like, oh, you like Steven Seagal and the chef's going crazy. He's like, I'll make all the Steven Seagal. Keep sending it out, finally. And then you're like, oh, no, no, no, no. Not the unbeseeched. I'm just, I'm going those first ones. Those are, for me,

they just did it. I loved them. Loved them so much, those movies. Those and Van Damme, those were like the childhood. God, Marked for Death, Hardme those were like the childhood god marked for yeah hard to kill above the law out for justice those four above the law hard to kill marked for death out for justice then yeah sure under siege gets in there but it's after that it wasn't really you're a fan of the three-word franchises and you don't care so much for this two-word uh misha gas yeah sean wants to sean should throw a a movies you don't mind missing

five minutes of to go take a dump festival. These movies, they're like movie generators above the law. Hard to kill. Marked for death. Out for justice. Sean's programming the Alamo Draft House this weekend. What's he doing? It's him and Metamucil.

Yeah, man. Steven Seagal. That's my last pick. Great. Doug, time for your last pick. Oh, this is a speed round? Yeah. Speed-ish. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, this is an easy one. You're all going to fall down and disagree because

Rarely has a distinguished successful actor just taken up the action mantle and ran with it with such success other than Liam Neeson. Yeah. So what was the Taken movies, but then what was the other one?

There was one that was like Passengers or The Passenger or something. Walk Among the Tombstones? Run All Night. The Commuter? The Grey? The Grey is a great movie. The Grey is crazy. Once you're fighting a fucking wolf, you're an action star.

Oh yeah, with all the shot glass. Come on. That's right. Once you start realizing you might have died in that plane crash and you're still in some sort of weird purgatory. Is that what happened in The Grey? Well, The Grey, there's several scenes where Liam Neeson just basically talks someone through their own death. Like, listen, there's several scenes where Liam Neeson just basically talks someone through their own death. Like, listen,

there's no saving you, so I'm just going to be here for you, talk to you about it. And then, you know, it has that crazy ending where it's him against the wolf, but it cuts to the credits. Like, you don't know what happens in his final confrontation with a wolf. He talked the wolf through his death

I like to think that he did I like to think he had a nice chat with the wolf this guy was in Schindler's List in the A-Team, this guy's out here he was in Schindler's List there's obviously some things like A-Team there's some unfortunate things that happened when he became more known as an action guy. But just his, the cop that he plays, where he's both the good cop and the bad cop in the first Lego movie.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's tremendous. He's so funny. He's, you know, and he hasn't been a guy that's showing up too much in comedies, which I appreciate. He sticks to mostly being pretty serious. When he does it, his little cameo in Life's Too Short with Ricky Gervais is so fucking funny. Yeah.

I'm not even going to try to do it justice. Go YouTube. Go look it up on YouTube. I don't even want to ruin it. Yeah. It's perfect comedy. Perfect. Liam Neeson, excellent last pick.

It would have been an excellent first pick daniel van kirk yeah i think this guy that i'm about to say i could have an argument for one one i love him i first i was like ah does is there enough and then i looked and i'm like yep done kurt russell oh yeah yeah kurt russell i mean backdraft, Tango and Cash, Big Trouble and Little China. Big T and Little C. Escape from LA. Stargate, Soldier. Any way you want it, he can cook it up.

He's in like five of the Fast and Furious movies. He's in a Guardians movie? Yes. He managed to have the best mustache in Tombstone and that was quite a fight. That's a competition. That's like winning the 92 NBA finals. When he says, you tell him Wyatt Earp's coming

and Hal's coming with me. He made Tombstone happen. You know, he like shadow directed that whole movie. I believe it. And if we're saying sports can be action too, Miracle, one of the greatest sports movies of all time, one of the greatest true stories of all time. You know what else is rarely an action movie

but he's in one of the best ones is comedies tend to not pull off action that great but there's a lot of amazing action in used cars yes used cars I love used cars you've never seen used cars oh you guys

what is happening? Can you take a dump for five minutes during it? Or are you going to be there the whole time? No, I think you have to watch it because it's early Zemeckis. So it's like early Back to the Future kind of thinking, but about competing car lots, used car lots. Jack Warden plays a dual role where he's like a good guy and

a bad guy and there's a scene where he and Kurt Russell are in the back of moving pickup trucks hitting each other with chains and it's a comedy I love it also like we can't forget there's an entire generation that just loves Sky High

plus Grindhouse and Death Proof oh the fucking you know he's great in Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood in a little role. It's not an action, but Bone Tomahawk is insane. It's got some hideous action. It's got some gnarly movie. You said Escape from L.A., Escape from New York, right? Yes.

Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's funny. Like, Snake Plissken is like so much, he's so much a, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's funny. Snake Plissken is so much a bigger figure than those two movies, especially the L.A. one. He managed to be iconic in movies that were just, you know, they're not bad movies, but they're a little... He's Snake and Captain Ron.

Kurt Russell is like one of my favorite actors of all time. I hear in his personal life he's a bit of a quiet Republican, but, you know, what are you going to do? What are you going to do?

He's also, I mean, he's, he, but he's also, if the length of his relationship with Golihan is to believe, there's a little more action going on in the bedroom, too. You know?

That guy's handling it. You're telling me my name is Annie Goulihy? That fucking line in Overboard gets me every time. One of his first movies of all time, Follow Me Boys with Fred McMurray. He's like 12, 11 years old. He's amazing

and plays a Boy Scout. Not a lot of action in that movie, but there's a little bit of fun. The less you talk about a movie called Follow Me Boys is probably good. Follow Me Boys? Follow Me Boys! He played Dexter O'Reilly in several comedies

for Disney, where in each one he would get, in one of them he got super smart, and another one he was invisible, now you see me, now you don't. And another one, the strongest man in the world, he got super strength. And before that, he was in a movie called The Barefoot Executive where he had a pet monkey that could pick hit TV shows.

And people are screaming at their iPods right now that we haven't said the thing. Yeah, of course, the thing is a little bit of action in that. I also can't let this go by without mentioning that he played for the portland mavericks baseball team briefly i am contractually obligated to bring that up yeah uh time for my final pick which is listen the man is no kurt russell but when you when you say action to me i look at you and i say jason statham right back i'm taking jason statham a man who i saw in person whose shoulders are bigger than my own head it's crazy he's like

five five and he's the most built dude i've ever seen in my entire life he's crazy looking and i like the guy kind of only does action movies. And I value that with my, with my fifth pick. I was going to ask you, Ian, like it, you know,

if you had FaceTime with maybe some people we didn't draft, but any action stars that you, you were like, okay, I see it. Or you were surprised. Jean-Claude Van Damme looked pretty sturdy when we shot with him. He's,

and he also called cut on himself halfway through us filming a sketch. And then we just had to figure it out afterwards. That's awesome. So tight. I love that. He was just like, no, I'm done. And then walked out and we were like, all right, sketch is over.

Good, we'll get it. We'll get it. We'll put it together. We'll put it together. I mean, who else have we shot with? I guess Nicolas Cage is as sort of weird and like the person you see in interviews is the person he is at least backstage too.

He's kind of like aloof, but like... Love it. I didn't want to steal your time talking about your pick, but when you said his shoulders, I was like, oh yeah, I bet that you do run into people who we haven't drafted probably. Well, now that we've drafted everything and like somebody who I saw who is as't drafted probably. Well, now that we've drafted everything and somebody who I saw

who is as big as a barn door but did not get picked and I think it's interesting, is Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I know, I thought about it. What's with him? Someone said recently he went for the biggest movie every time instead of the best movie.

And that's kind of defined his career. I think that's really smart. And some of those are good, but a lot of them aren movie. And that's kind of defined his career. I think that's really smart. And some of those are good, but a lot of them aren't. Yeah, and then Jumanji movies are fine, but that doesn't mean he should be in comedy action movies. He should lean more

on the action and just happen to have some comedy maybe. Because he has been in some amazing movies. I really love that movie, The Rundown. Yeah, that movie's great. Knoxville's great in that. It's another has been in some amazing movies. I really love that movie. The rundown. Yeah. Yeah. That was great. Knoxville's great. I mean,

it's road. It's another roadhouse. It's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. When he does, when he leans into that, he's like, he's like really good.

Even that, uh, what's that remake he did, uh, with the guy with the two by four. Yeah. Uh, walking,

walking tall, walking tall. Like that was pretty good. That felt like a good early career movie where he was setting himself up for... And then he's good in the fast movies, but those aren't his movies. Yeah, but then you have, like, San Andreas and Skyscraper and...

He just, like, loses his way. I mean, that seemed like the same movie twice in a row. Yeah. And he's out here on... He's kind of an Instagram star who happens to be in movies. Pain and Gain was quite a departure for him

when you look at the course of his career. Yeah. What that movie actually is about versus what people thought they were going to go see. It's not his fault, but like in San Andreas, let's say, he plays like a down-on-his-luck helicopter pilot, and it's hard to feel bad for The Rock. When, you know, they're like,

this guy's going through divorce. It's hard to picture him as a helicopter pilot. He's the only guy who's got a helicopter in a state that's quaking. He's the only person that can survive and we're supposed to feel sympathy? That's what I'm saying. It's a hard... Also, show me

the helicopter he can fit in the front of. Know your roles, dude. Play a football player. Got himself a radar AWAC. Can I ask you guys, now that we're done, I couldn't go UMA, and I really wanted to, but it just feels like basically just

Batman and Robin and Kill Bill. I don't know why you brought up Batman and Robin. But yeah, it's like there are some people that just have that one time they did action to such success or went so well, but they didn't necessarily make it there just have that one time they did action to such success

or went so well but they didn't necessarily make it their thing. Yeah. I keep thinking that Quentin and Uma are going to re-team though but maybe not. He said a long time ago that his, well who knows, but he said his

last movie what he wanted to do is when the little girl from Kill Bill 1 was all grown up he wanted to make kill bill three with her and have that be his last movie ever we'll see if that happens that'd be tight the next one's supposed to be his last movie ever and it's about a critic right but we'll see if he sticks to that people are going to be shocked that doug and i got together and neither one of us drafted walberg just to pimp it out. That's true. No way. How would he care about not getting drafted? You know, he's capable as the action figure, I guess,

but I just don't even... What is the first movie that comes to mind when you think of Transformers? Oh, action movies. I mean, Three Kings is a great movie. That's a good one. I mean, he doesn't have a lot of... There's action, but it's not like... Ice Cube was also in Three Kings is a great movie that's a good one I mean he doesn't have a lot of there's action but it's not like how

Ice Cube was also in Three Kings and Triple X is Ice Cube an action star? see that's an argument I don't think so I thought Sean Connery I mean it is Bond I mean we didn't say any James Bonds we didn't pick any of them

Clint Eastwood you know who I really almost wanted to draft and it just didn't go my way? I went with Jackie Chan. First of all, I thought about Bruce Lee. Too short, but iconic. And then Donnie Yen. Ip Man. Oh, fuck. Those movies are good.

Tony Jaa, if you want to get on that road. Tony Jaa is another one where you just like buckets. I thought Michelle Rodriguez kind of deserves a mention. You could argue that. She does, for sure. Yeah, before the Fast and Furious movies. But she was also on SWAT too. She was in Death Proof. Yeah, SWAT, so

many. Like, yeah. Jet Li. Girl Fight. Did I say Eastwood? Did we say Clint Eastwood? You just mentioned him, yeah. I always have a soft spot for Burt Reynolds personally. Yeah. Chuckurt Reynolds personally Chuck Norris Chuck Norris can suck it Suck Norris

Doug Donovan Schmuck Norris This would be fake in the funk but you can go back and say Errol Flynn All the way back in the day Is Buster Keaton Doing action? That's a good question Buster Keaton doing action? That's a good question.

Oh, Buster Keaton and Chaplin were both action stars. What about some old Al Pacino stuff? Would he be in there at all? No, you don't really see him. He really likes to focus on character. I feel like Scarface

is maybe the closest. Yeah, I would say that's the closest. Yeah, and that's just running in with a machine gun, mowing everybody down. There was a different kind of action in Cruisin'. Yeah. He got more action than he could handle. Those are some of the people we didn't pick.

The people we did pick. Sean Jordan, you went first. You took Tom Cruise, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Zoe Saldana nicholas cage and stephen seagal doug benson you went second you took kiana reeves patrick swayze michelle yo sigourney weaver and liam neeson danny van kirk you went third you took arnold schwarzenegger harrison ford jackie chan charlize theron and kurt russell i mean that's a good list look at it now in the clear light of day. I went last. I took Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Denzel Washington, Vin Diesel, and Jeyse Statham. Jeyse.

Are we going to get killed for no Wesley Snipes? No Blade? He's on the fucking list. I mean, he's on the list. He might be a six man. I wouldn't mind getting killed for not having him. Yeah. I wouldn't mind getting killed for not having him.

Yeah. I like Mr. And Mrs. Smith and snatch. And anytime where Brad Pitt has to be physical. I do too. Will Smith. Yeah.

Billy Smith. Yeah. Well, we want to hear yours. We left a lot of picks on the board. Hit us up with yours at all fantasy pod on Twitter, all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone.

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