All Fantasy Everything - British Slang (w/ Will Miles)

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

BRUV, INNIT? (If you are from the United Kingdom, we sincerely apologize.)Episode Guest:Will Miles (IG @mrwillmiles)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-f...ree episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Sponsor links:Mack WeldonAdvertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting British slang. Our guest today is the very talented, very wonderful stand-up comedian and writer Will Miles. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always, are my friends and stand-up comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Don't use any slang. Just keep going, but don't use any slang. No, I'm just using American slang, bro. Just using American slang, bro just use an American slang bro my apologies to anyone in the United Kingdom who's deeply deeply offended by my feeble attempt at all of
Starting point is 00:01:14 your accents sorry bro is a slippery slope yeah bro is very British Jason yeah I will text people the British form of that a lot. And I'm like, oh man, is that... I always feel like...
Starting point is 00:01:31 Does it sound like I'm trying to be funny and cool to somebody who... We say that on this show a bunch as a joke. We have been for years. And so now it just is in... I just say it now. I do too. But sometimes I can't be like,
Starting point is 00:01:44 hey, I don't know, some... Whatever. The other one I don't say, but bro, I say a lot. Yeah, I do too. But sometimes I can't be like, hey, I don't know, whatever. The other one I don't say, but bro, I say a lot. But do you guys, and maybe this is different for me. Bro to me is like, I don't think of American people. It's always like a foreigner
Starting point is 00:01:57 trying to sound American. I just grew up with so many like, my mom's friends who are like African guys who say bro too much. You know what I mean? So it's like bro to me doesn't even seem like it seems like a foreign guy with maybe like some kind of a leather. I'll tell you in the white in the Caucasian suburbs of Beaverton, Oregon, it was quite, quite common and freely used. And naturally a lot of bros did.
Starting point is 00:02:24 In Chicago, we said naturally a lot of bros, dude. In Chicago, we said bro a lot too. Yeah. I think bro is kind of like it crosses a lot of. Oh, for sure. A lot of people say bro, man.
Starting point is 00:02:34 A lot of Midwest, a lot of brother, a lot of like dudes being like brother like that. I was a brother. Yeah. That was a big one back in the day. And bro is heavy and fucking a, that's another one.
Starting point is 00:02:44 That's real. The weird thing is like brother. If somebody says brother, I'm uncomfortable. But if somebody says bro, like around me, I'm like, oh, no, we've got to watch out. Yeah, brother does perk your antennas up. If you use brother when it doesn't matter, like what kind of ice cream you get? And you're like, brother, I do not know. Like when it's real low stakes.
Starting point is 00:03:01 That's a fun brother right there. I love using that. What are you doing around these parts, brother? It which car is yours brother that's like that's like when friend gets bad too if somebody's like what are you doing here friend yeah yeah it's like uh yeah whatever it is it's non-confrontational a lot of those and i've been documented guy, I hate if someone's like, what's up, guy? I can't stand it. I don't like guy either. And the kids are saying my guy a lot.
Starting point is 00:03:32 They do say my guy a lot. And it's a slightly tuned up version of guy, but I'm like, I don't like you calling me my guy. It makes me feel way older than I am, and I feel like you are condescending to me when you call me my guy. My man, I'm in. My man, I love all day, my man. I'm in there.
Starting point is 00:03:47 I'm also not sure the connotations of my guy. I didn't grow up in that. What does that mean? I think it means slow down. I think it's one of those like, hey, my guy. No one's ever like, my guy, what's happening? In Chicago, they were. Guy is like, how do you say
Starting point is 00:04:03 your best friend? Like, I remember like your close friend. Like, ain't that your guy? Like, you got to have the Chicago accent. So I'm sure that you mean it in a certain way. But I remember like I'm walking into a place and Hannibal's cousins were all around. And one of his cousins was like, oh, ain't that your guy? And I was like, oh, cool.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Me and Hannibal are friends. All right. That's tight. The only thing I have in Chicago is Joe that I never see anybody, but from somebody from Chicago pull off. Joe is just like, everybody's Joe. There's actually a song that says, where I come from, we stay Joe. Everybody call each other Joe. What's up, Joe?
Starting point is 00:04:43 What's up, Joe? My wife from Highland Park, Illinois. It's not Joe country? I just pictured Dana calling you a Jagoff all day. Get in here, Jagoff. Jagoff's good. Jagoff is great. I love Jagoff. That also feels Chicago to me. Jamoak is a real
Starting point is 00:04:59 Chicago-esque. Jamoak. Jamoak. I will say D.C. claims Joe as well. Baltimore and D.C., they claim to say Joe. I mean, they do say Joe. They got a lot of complicated stuff going on over there. Yeah, but in Baltimore, they say Joe different, right? It's like Joe.
Starting point is 00:05:13 They say John. Like in Philly. That's Philly. Oh, that's Philly. Philly says John, yeah. The thing about Baltimore saying that, though, is nobody's ever going to challenge Baltimore. It's like the same as...
Starting point is 00:05:23 I have no problem with it. Yeah, no. But so when I say... So if you're saying Baltimore. It's like the same as... I have no problem with it. But so when I say, so if you're saying John, that's like a joint, right? Like if I was like, oh, I got this, like this, like a peanut butter John, like I got a peanut butter sandwich or something. It's a peanut butter John. Or I would say like a peanut butter joint. If I was an idiot, I'd say that. But that's what that
Starting point is 00:05:40 means. I like the peanut butter. I don't know why that popped into my head. You know peanut butter sandwiches when you're out in public know why peanut butter sandwich like a lunatic john also means like a hot girl yeah like you see that john over there philly john yeah oh that sounds so steamy i don't know if i could do that also their music's too loud. An old guy conversation. I actually don't think their music is that loud. Do they still have speakers? Kids and teens in cars, do they still put
Starting point is 00:06:14 speakers on? I catch a couple whips out by the crib that have them. They don't have a Rockford Fosgate. They're not trying to go to Car Toys. Alpines? I drive like that, though. A Dub Zero? I like that. i told you all this i took my dad my dad took me to a best buy to get me some rock fuzz as he was drunk as i've ever seen someone and he talked him down out of a locked price they don't haggle at best buy and
Starting point is 00:06:35 he oh go ahead they do in the audio department they do they have a low okay i feel like they do because i worked at a best buy you know for like a year and a half and i was like nowhere else was a price negotiable like that dvd you know what i mean if you want what dreams may come on dvd that's 15 out the door there's no way to get it lower but i always saw them kind of like working in the in the in the car stereo department my dad couldn't even ash a cigarette and he was talking them down like a hundred bucks. And he's like, you get in the car and he's like, all right, I'm going to hook him up.
Starting point is 00:07:09 And I was like, how did you do that? You match man. I like the idea that he was smoking a cigarette back in the audio department of Backspire too. Let's talk turkey over here. This must have been 40, 34 years ago or something. It's fun using all this slang right now because the last time you were on,
Starting point is 00:07:29 Will, we drafted slang that we wish was still around. So we said like, Brolic, that's where Brolic came from. Yeah. And I can't,
Starting point is 00:07:36 I should have looked it up. I was going to if we did that other topic, but I can't remember what else was on there. Oh, you know what? Hitting the skins.
Starting point is 00:07:43 I remember saying hitting the skins. Well, those are two little samples. And if anyone else wants to hear them, freely available on the All Fans of Everything. Take a ride back about five years, baby. We don't price lock our back catalog.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Mark Maron. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He's got the paywall up. I got to work in this business. He rules. We are the J. Cole of rap battles sorry we're gonna yeah I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:08:10 immediately apologize yeah sorry about that it was bad for my spirit even in a silly way we don't want the smoke what do you guys make of that I feel like it's his right to back out of a rap I don't know anything about it I'm fine with it man who wants beef why active beef
Starting point is 00:08:32 I don't know I do feel like it's like what it was built on and to like I don't feel like it was like a situation I don't think anybody was gonna get hurt so it feels like it's sort of like well that's the sport you play. Right.
Starting point is 00:08:47 You know what I mean? That's just on the surface. Yeah. All right. I guess I don't know if it's fucking up someone's day or whatever. Why don't you don't do that? When this comes out, this is like happened a month ago. So we don't want too much, but it's like there's going to be a Drake song out by the time this comes out.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Yeah. Yeah. I heard there was. We'll all be singing it. Exactly. It's going honest, we'll all be singing it. Exactly. It's gonna be so catchy. They both win.
Starting point is 00:09:10 They both just play different sports. It's like a basketball team playing a football team. It's kind of hard to be like, who's the winner here? It's three different sports, really, because whatever Kendrick does with his cousin, that's their own thing.
Starting point is 00:09:25 That team stuff's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird. Speaking of brother. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And he says it in like the sheriff way.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Brother. He does. Brother. The sheriff way. I kind of like teams sometimes, though. You do or don't? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Me too. I like him on songs with Kendrick where I'm like, this is weird. I like that. Doesn't all black and white. I like that song. But then there's like, but there's other shit where I'm like, I don't know. But the thing about Keem's stuff is like, he's like rapping and you're like rapping along. And you're like, he's just talking about fucking women yeah it's like it's a lot deeper yeah no
Starting point is 00:10:11 it's just i think we've seen this you know yeah it sounded different when it was like i'm gonna fuck that bitch now it's like i'm gonna fuck that bitch it's like oh that's different all right got a visionary out here repaying the roads good videos good videos good videos respectable feminist women in there too it's like amanda slimberg all right i gotta trust you and this is not offensive yeah she's cool with it what can i say or have we reached the therapy speak but it's still abusive era of hip hop music videos. Anything could be. I mean,
Starting point is 00:10:47 I think we haven't just talking to people on the street. A hundred percent. We have just like, it feels like I talked to so many, like the worst people I talked to have great justifications. You know what I mean? The worst people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:00 It's always the worst people. I just felt like, uh, my inability to explore myself sexually was like really being inhibited by their expectation that things were monogamous and it's like you're cheating on your wife you called her a dumb bitch
Starting point is 00:11:14 I'm not going her inability to meet me eye to eye intellectually has caused me to seek some sort of deficit in my 40 years ago that used to be like men are supposed to spread the seed bro that's what you're supposed to do and now they just church it up a little bit and you're like lipstick on a pig my friend you know it all it also used to be no i didn't fuck that bitch now it's now it's all those words all those therapy
Starting point is 00:11:40 words yeah the expectations of monogamy within our polycule are toxic. You know what's crazy about all that too? I hear those words the least in therapy. Me too. Literally every conversation I hear them more than in actual therapy. In therapy because it's got to be between us. I talk like Silk the Shocker.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Well, I'm taking notes. My therapist talks like Silk the Shocker. My therapist is Silk the Shocker. It was a weird tone. Yeah. No limit takes SAG insurance, so. Yeah. My therapist is Tweet.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Is Tweet? Tweet's the, uh, oops, oh my, yeah. my therapist is tweet is tweet tweets the uh oops oh my yeah there goes your cope Sean Jordan's therapist is of course I don't I don't go to therapy
Starting point is 00:12:40 oh okay there was an opportunity for a joke there I know I couldn't think of one so I buckled I just said I don't go to therapy and you know. I couldn't think of one, so I buckled. I just said I don't go to therapy. You know what? I couldn't think of one either. I threw up a
Starting point is 00:12:49 bad jump shot thinking hopefully Sean will think this was an alley-oop. You could have said Max. I mean, like... Yeah, my therapist is Maxine. I do talk to her. I laid one night. She was laying in bed, and this is crazy. I haven't actually told anyone this, but I don't know what it was.
Starting point is 00:13:07 I was having a rough, just, it was, I'll tell you what it was. It was a day. So I put my special out and some guy emailed me and told me that I was a bad comic and I shouldn't be charging for it. And it wrecked my whole day. And Max was laying down. I'm almost crying. She was laying down going to bed.
Starting point is 00:13:19 And I was like, I'm good enough, right? Like I'm good at this. And I seriously just, just dumped it on her. And she was looking at me and like touching my beard and she's like you're okay it was nuts so yeah Maxine will be my therapist from someday be careful though I know you don't want to fuck them up
Starting point is 00:13:33 yeah everything why didn't you ask me if you're okay household with things similar to that going on at a certain age it's like let them go to class Max you can be late today I had a rough night so we're going to drive around for a while similar to that going on. At a certain age, it's like, let him go to class. Max, you can be late today. I had a rough night.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Maybe don't tell the kid about the money problems. We're going to drive by my ex's house. No, I'll tell you this. We got the AFE tour coming up. That's what's happening. That's all fantasy. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram. If you're looking looking Sean Jordan on YouTube
Starting point is 00:14:06 what is it on YouTube? Sean Jordan comedian I think at some point the special Girl Dad will be available on YouTube this comes out the 26th when is that? I mean that'll be way
Starting point is 00:14:17 that'll be down the road oh well sign up yeah yeah for the YouTube at least yeah I mean I don't know why I'm doing your plugs I'm sorry Sean go ahead
Starting point is 00:14:24 would it be rude if I named my special Girl Dad part 2? no no For the YouTube, at least. I don't know why I'm doing your plugs. I'm sorry, Sean. Go ahead. Would it be rude if I named my special Girl Dad Part 2? No. It's like I need a girl. No, no, no, no, no. I've learned. I've learned. I take that back. I don't mean it. No, man.
Starting point is 00:14:41 That was Usher trying to get away from Diddy. I need a girl. I still haven't even looked into that because I still don't exactly, I'm not going to. Just like the way I won't research if someone tells me a fact that doesn't matter. I'm not going to dive into that because I'm like, it's not going to help me. Deep cold waters.
Starting point is 00:14:58 He wasn't in my orbit anyways. I don't need to cloud it with that. Anyway, go to High Note, April 25th. We got Kimberly Clark. I always forget to say that. Portland, Oregon. Go tonight. It's a fantastic show.
Starting point is 00:15:10 You go tonight. Yeah, tonight. Anyway, so the tour is coming up. The tickets are going. The tickets are moving. They really are. Tuesday, June 11th, the Bell House in New York City. It is a Tuesday, but the tickets, come on out.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Who doesn't want a fun little Tuesday? We're going to have some amazing guests in New York City. Maybe some you've seen before. Maybe some you haven't seen yet because we haven't booked them yet. But it's New York. Wednesday, June 12th, Philly, the Underground Arts. Those tickets are moving too.
Starting point is 00:15:36 And it's going to, I mean, we haven't been to Philly since the show. So come on out to that. Thursday, we're back in New York on the 13th at the Bell House. Friday, we're at the Black Cat in D.C. That was one of the fun ones. Saturday, going up to the Great White
Starting point is 00:15:51 North, we're going to be at the Randolph in Toronto, Ontario. We're going to the 6th. We're going to hang out with Snow. So come on out to that Sunday. We're going to hang out with a former two-term super producer is what we're going to do. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I've been talking to her. We might be going out
Starting point is 00:16:08 to get some dim sum and then some. And dim sum? Nice! Dude, I just got goosebumps, man. I'm going to tell Max all about that on my next therapy session. That's going to be fun. I'll be like, I'm excited. Things took a turn. Sunday, June 16th. Once again! Careful! Arts at the Armory in Boston.
Starting point is 00:16:24 If you're one of the dudes with the neck tattoos that was eyeballing me from the bar last time we did the wilbur just come up and say hi this time because you scared the living shit out of me staring at me for five minutes i came over and i said what's up so just come say hi this time uh we want to welcome everyone to that show in boston including some dirty dirty people yeah you open a school in an Irish neighborhood. June 18th, Kitzburg. We're going to the Bottle Rock at Social Hall. Those tickets are moving quick. Very fast. Cleveland, we're going to be at the Rock
Starting point is 00:16:52 City at Mahal's on Wednesday, June 19th. Thursday, June 20th, we're going to Detroit Rock City at the Magic Bag. Friday, June 21st, we're going to be in Chi-Town, Chicago, the Den Theater. There's 12 tickets left for that. Hopefully zero by the time this comes out. I don't even think there's 12 now we may be backed into a corner where we have to add a second show
Starting point is 00:17:08 or we might just keep it at one and enjoy the city or we just keep it crispy let's go Chicago Chicago shows up June 22nd closing it out Parkway Theater Minneapolis I'm stoked it's going to be fun that was what we did last time too right
Starting point is 00:17:23 it is yeah what's he'll say last night of the tour who knows I might have a drink or two I'm stoked. It's going to be fun. That was what we did last time too, right? It is. Yeah. Last night of the tour, who knows? I might have a drink or two. I wish I could with you that night. I might have to do it the night before. I know. You're going to have to fly out the next... Whatever. It's not about that. I have to fly to Spokane the next day. We're getting on the road and I'm excited. It's been a long time.
Starting point is 00:17:39 We have one day off in there and I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. It's a fun little day off. I think we go to Pittsburgh and have a day. Yeah, yeah. A day in Pittsburgh. I've never been. That's fun. I've been like three times in the last year, actually. Go to all of Wiz Khalifa's
Starting point is 00:17:55 hangouts. Oh, we could go to Frank Lloyd Wright house. I would like that. I would love that. We could all do that in Chicago. There's a couple of those. Yeah. If there's a Pirates game, it would be fun to go to a baseball game on a day off, too. I would be in. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Get tickets for it. All those shows are going to be fantastic. I'm just so excited to do it again. It's been a long time. Wear a Pirates hat in Pittsburgh. Do not wear one in Chicago. Trust me on that. Don't? I would not. No. What if I'm trying to find that. Don't? Oh, thank you. I would not.
Starting point is 00:18:25 No. Yeah. What if I'm trying to find that smoke, though? What if I want it? If he wants the smoke, go for it. If he wants the smoke, then go get it. I'm going to step in here and say you don't. Is it okay to wear one in Highland Park, Illinois?
Starting point is 00:18:37 Is that all? Probably. That's probably true. Go, go, go. Just don't go around there. For pickleball in Highland Park, baby. Highland Park, south. Highland Park, south side of Chicago.
Starting point is 00:18:49 South side of Highland Park. Yeah. That's where the orthodox Jews hang out. David Borey is here. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. They wear Orioles hats, right? It's too late. I've never seen an Oriole. I wanted to get in right It's too late I've never seen an Oriole I wanted to get in it's too late
Starting point is 00:19:09 I just saw a dead one at the museum That's not the point Wow They had like a I was at the National You ever been to a bad museum That's not the fucking point Which one
Starting point is 00:19:23 I don't want to blow it. Call it out. Museum beef. Drag them. Museum beef. I went to the National Science Museum with my girl the other day. And like, we went to the museum and then we went specifically to the orcas exhibit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:40 And I'm like, okay, yeah, let's go. And then the orcas. And then the lady's like 69 and i was like what the fuck are you talking about i've been to the louvre oh yeah it's like insane and it wasn't a very good it was orcas and it wasn't like it didn't blow my mind and then we went to and then they're, they're also like checking. It just felt like a money grab more than most museums do. It bummed me out.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Yeah. Fucking Free Willy better jump over me for that much money. Yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy. How big was the room? You had to pay to get in. It was like multiple rooms. But you had to pay to get in.
Starting point is 00:20:23 And then the orcas exhibit was $9 a person on top of that. Wow. Was there like a big orca in there? Could you see the length and size of a real one? Yeah, they had like the bones. I know the exhibit. I think they had it at OMSI too or a thing just like that.
Starting point is 00:20:39 They just got rid of it. But it's like big orca in the room. It was fun. It just felt like kind of steep. Yeah. Just because i've been to better museums for less like the field museum in chicago or like some natural history museums they'll have that taxidermy but it's like from the like 1910 and it looks kind of bad but then that almost becomes interesting on its own because you're like this is what museums were like a hundred years ago it's like a double museum it's like a double museum in that way. Also, I will say that the tone of the orcas exhibit was weird.
Starting point is 00:21:09 There was a lot of like things where they're like, aquariums aren't the problem with orcas. It was like, you see, they do some good. And we were both like, what the fuck? They die in the ocean too. You think they don't die in the ocean too yeah slavery's not real how's jones make some points and while you're walking down this path with us it was super it was it was really weird and then there would be a bunch of stuff where
Starting point is 00:21:47 they'd be like the government of this x country did this to orcas what can we do to save them yeah oh that's funny but i mean also also i had gone to seaWorld as a kid and I had a great time so some of us are part of the problem the point is that I'm filming a special May 18th in Denver I'm taking straight up stealing an idea from Sean Jordan I'm doing it the exact
Starting point is 00:22:18 same route exact same route as discussed it's called Girl Dad Part 2 which is crazy because I don't even have a child. No, but a Patreon is going to be coming up. Sign up for the Patreon so you can get tickets to the
Starting point is 00:22:34 show itself. Really tiny, tiny room, guys. So it is going to sell out fast. And then we got trailers and a little BTS documentary type shit to show you leading up to it the patreon get them tickets to the show and then as well as the special when that gets them the link to even get ticket the room seats 60 guys yeah it's gonna they're gonna
Starting point is 00:22:58 go quick it's tiny and i'm doing two i mean if it sells good three or four shows but definitely the point is like it being tiny and an intimate feel I'm going to kiss every one of you on the mouth oh also everyone has to wear black shirts nice I'm already I'm already I'm going to get a nice a nice black shirt to be in the crowd hockey man
Starting point is 00:23:19 you got to be in the back there's not enough space for you to be in the crowd well I'm going to be somewhere in a black shirt get COVID tested got to be in the back. There's not enough space for you to be in the crowd. Well, I'm going to be somewhere in a black shirt. Get COVID tested. You'll be in there with me, but you can't be in there. Sean and I are going to be at that pie bakery right down the street. I'll hear about it afterwards.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Afterwards, I'm trying to have a party with some punch. They got a nice IPA down the block that I'm really coming to Denver for. We wish you well, but Sean and I are going to be enjoying a key lime pie down the street the whole time. It's a tiny room, you guys. Wait, what are you doing with your boats during this whole thing? to Denver for. We wish you well, but Sean and I are going to be enjoying a key lime pie down the street. It's a tiny room. What are you doing with your boats during this whole thing? Can Ian and I take your boats out while you're filming the special?
Starting point is 00:23:53 I don't think it's just more of a safety issue. At night, I don't know. I don't feel as though you guys are licensed in the state of Colorado. I'm going to have a party on the boat, so it's going to be all lit up. That's the room. Oh, that is tiny. That's great, though. Yeah, it's really going to be a party on the boat, so it's going to be all lit up. Can you see that? That's the room. Oh, that is tiny. That's great, though.
Starting point is 00:24:07 Yeah, it's really little. That's going to be so fun, dude. I think it's going to look pretty cool. You have to wear a black shirt. But look to my Instagram, all that shit. When does this come out? 25th of April. 25th.
Starting point is 00:24:16 April 25th. Okay, so you also could have seen me and Jamel Johnson at the Comedy Fort last weekend. And that's really what I got. Dope. I mean, again, while we're saying all joking aside i i can drive a boat i grew up driving big big actual boat it's a licensing issue i can drive a boat oh i'm in boat class did i tell you about that no to learn how to get my boat license yeah oh that's great i don't particularly before your driver's license i don't really care about driving a car but but I would like to drive a boat.
Starting point is 00:24:47 The height of decadence right there. Do you have a license? Yeah, a boat license. So to speak. You're just showing people your boat license to get into a bar? Does it work that way? Can you? Please, please. If you could show your driver's license, why wouldn't they take boat license? They should let you into a different room with a boat license.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Be like, oh, sure. Mr. Borey, I apologize for IDing you. So funny. You're a VIP. Are you kidding? Yeah. You get to go to the card game at the roost if you have a boat license. They take you in the back where they do the money laundering. You don't want to be in that card game, dude. Wait, is this a real thing? The roost? It's gotta
Starting point is 00:25:20 be. Did you ever go to the roost in LA? Yeah. I just went recently. Tell me there's not a card game in the back. There has to be. I don't think there's a back. No, I don't think there is. I think you're saying... I guess we would have found a drink at... We would have found the back drinking Evan Williams in the parking lot one of those nights, I think.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Yeah, exactly that. They move the bathrooms to the parking lot now, too. I saw that. Of course they did. A couple times ago when I was in LA. That bathroom was, I I mean so skimpy so it was good on them I'm not trying to poop
Starting point is 00:25:48 at a bar anyways no I'm not trying to but it's happening big enough big enough to do coke in I'll tell you that you're not trying to poop
Starting point is 00:25:57 at a bar that serves Vietnamese food say what you want about that food that food was fire dude the food is delicious but it's going right through you I mean yeah
Starting point is 00:26:06 There's no rice No rice dish is gonna like Sit with you right No that's a monorail It is funny We left pretty quick Most of the time If we like
Starting point is 00:26:13 If we got some food late It was always like And the food's gone Let's go Yep Yep Will Miles is here At Mr. Will Miles on Instagram
Starting point is 00:26:23 Are you on the TikToks On YouTube as well? Oh I am on TikTok Yeah There you go Mr. Will Miles is here at Mr. Will Miles on Instagram. Are you on the tech talks on YouTube as well? Oh, I am on tech talk. Yeah. Mr. Will Miles there. It's crazy that you got to that first. I know.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Right. That's amazing. Yeah. Where can people other than Mr. Will Miles across platforms, not on Twitter either though. I'm not on Twitter. No.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Yeah. And I'm not on threads either. I just don't talk to anyone. Yeah, I love that. It's all pictures for me. Where can people see you do stand-up comedy and various other things? Well, April 25th, that means right now I'm in
Starting point is 00:27:00 Springfield, Missouri doing DeForeFest to honor the late, great Kenny DeForest. He's right here. I believe he was a guest on AFV as well. That guy, we're celebrating his life right now in Springfield, Missouri. I also do a show, a talk show
Starting point is 00:27:15 very selfishly about how to make me feel better. It's called Green Things because I love a lot of green things like weed, the color green, money, just a lot of green. Anything shot on green screen, I'm a fan of usually.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Kale, Kermit the Frog. Kale, Kermit, yeah. I mean, turtles, Ninja Turtles. Mikey's got a song about it. It's like margaritas, money, and weed maybe. I can't remember what exactly. Anyway. I live it too.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I got a turtle tattoo right here. Yes! But yeah, so it's my guests three days ago was Langston Kerman and Kate Flannery of The Office fame. So my next one, who knows? It might be Jodi
Starting point is 00:27:59 Sweetin and Haley Joel Osment. They're in the running. I don't have them locked in yet, but I'm going to say it because they're going to do it. Put it in the world. Put it in the ether, baby. It's at Dynasty Typewriter. Look for the dates. Check out any of the websites and the dates at Dynasty Typewriter
Starting point is 00:28:16 will show up. I also have a Monday show in LA at Eagle Rock at the Senior Officiant Eagle Rock, 8pm every Monday. Do a stand-up comedy. Come do it. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to be in LA in May. I might have to hit you on the show.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Do you have your other shows booked? I want to come see you do stand-up. Yeah, I finally got on Hot Tub. Oh! We'll talk about it off mic. I'm so excited. My name is Ian. Is there any other things you want to direct people to just go to all that
Starting point is 00:28:49 yeah my name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter Instagram TikTok YouTube Ian Carmel dot com one of our listeners hit me up and we are working on putting my website back together in anticipation of my book launch and a number of other things.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Yeah, man. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom. I'm paying him. We're doing an official thing, but like, hey man, your website sucks. He said that in a very nice way. And I was like, it does. It sucks. It was designed by my ex-girlfriend from like
Starting point is 00:29:21 2015? From middle school, right? No, not her. That girl Amanda. And she did a great job, but she did a great job for me in like 2015. So we're finally updating that fucking goddamn nine years later. So there'll be stuff on there. Maybe not quite yet,
Starting point is 00:29:39 but starting in the next couple weeks. Please pre-order my book T-Shirt Swim Club. It's getting so much good feedback from the people who are weeks. Please pre-order my book, T-shirt swim club. And it's getting so much good feedback from the people who are reading it. Pre-orders matter a lot. We've got quotes from Chase Toronto on there who loved it. Roxanne gay, Seth Myers,
Starting point is 00:29:56 you know, getting really good feedback from, from people. I respect their work a lot. I think you're going to love it too. 13 essays about a grownup fat and being fat. Each one, my little sister writes a counter to it. I'm going to be selling it on the tour, the AFE tour. The bookshops are going to come to the show.
Starting point is 00:30:13 So we'll be able to get it there if you want to. And it would just mean the world to me. Pre-orders help a lot. It helps the publishers determine how much money they want to put into the promotion. Conversely, the more people who pre-order it, the more money they want to put into the promotion. Conversely, the more people who pre-order it, the more money they put into it. And then it becomes like a snowball effect thing. Stop wrecking it all.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Not a racket in any way. Special shout-outs to the people who work at libraries who've hit me up, who've ordered it. That's fucking cool that it's going to be in libraries. Come see me do stand-up comedy. I'm going to be at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, Vermont. Burr! May Burrlington, May 2nd through the 4th.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Come see David Borey and I in Madison, Wisconsin at Comedy on State, May 9th through the 11th, doing stand-up comedy. Best club there is. Such a good club. club gonna have a lovely time and that's kind of all that's on the books right now come see me oh other than the afe tour which of course come to that come see me open for ellen degeneres on the road this summer what yeah he's not booked he's just gonna go do it no I'm just gonna go do it in the parking lot
Starting point is 00:31:28 with a megaphone hey Ellen long time for a sign hey you mind if I get up there hop up and do five so we're gonna be hoping for Ellen on the road at least for now there you go at least for five shows we'll see if that gets
Starting point is 00:31:44 extended I mean jeez we're not here to speculate on my least for now uh there you go yeah at least for five shows we'll see if that gets extended i mean geez we're not here to speculate on my future in comedy but uh mostly to fantasy draft british slang what a great topic will yeah dude let's do it this is right out of the dome right this is you just this is yours right we didn't do anything no yeah anything? No. This is one, it's going to be evident that I watched the show Love Island UK. Same, but for Top Boy. Yeah, Top Boy. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:13 So what is everyone's experience with British slang? I just said Top Boy. I'm the low man here, I think. It's like Love Island a little bit. I mean, Love Actually. Some skateboarders here like Love Island a little bit I mean Love Actually some skateboarders here and there a little bit of British rap also just loving it
Starting point is 00:32:31 I mean Kingsman for sure British it's just dope I mean just enjoy The Gentleman have you seen The Gentleman no I haven't seen the show I saw the movie is the show good the show is great the movie is one of my favorites I haven't seen the show. I saw the movie. Is the show good?
Starting point is 00:32:45 The show's great. The movie is one of my favorites. I've never seen the show. I've only seen the movie. The show just came out. It's got the dude who was in White Lotus. Theo James is his name. Oh, yeah. Good looking dude. Which guy from White Lotus? The guy that's in Roadhouse?
Starting point is 00:33:02 The busboy from White Lotus? Or the major D? The husband. Aubrey Plaza's husband. Oh, okay. Season 2 of White Lotus. I got you. Season 2. Yeah. Aubrey Plaza's husband's best friend. Yeah, that one.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Hot dude. Hot dude. White guy. Super hot. Super hot white dude. Super hot white dude season 2. Is British, I think. In real life. Yeah. Oh, but I had BritBox. I watch a lot of British TV.
Starting point is 00:33:31 I love British TV. Keep Show was my shit. I loved Keep Show when it came out. I watched that in full. I watched the Greek show. It's Greek-British, but it's called Staff Less Flats. Greek show. It's Greek-British,
Starting point is 00:33:44 but it's called Staff Less Flats with the girl from the vampire show. Yeah, yeah. And they're siblings, right? Yeah, they're siblings, yeah. Her brother, who I think is unbelievable. Fuck, what is his name? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Demetriou. Jamie and Natassia Demetriou. Yeah. He was the boyfriend with big teeth on Fleabag as well. That helps. The Brits with the big teeth. I worked with a bunch of goddamn limeys for a decade.
Starting point is 00:34:21 One of the okay ones to say. It's a fun one. Brits from a lot of different socioeconomic backgrounds so i got like a full spectrum having worked with not the full spectrum because they were all white but you know you work with the griffin grits do they think our slang is cool or is it just so is this a one-way street because i everybody likes british slang they will not admit to anything American being cool.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Yeah, I get it. I get it. Isn't that fucked up? Yeah. I think we can look at the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, we can.
Starting point is 00:34:58 A lot more people call each other dude than mate, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our influence is huge. and roll they seem to really enjoy rap music over there as well i'm not saying bastardized form yeah wow skeptic would like a word i like skeptic and stormzy the amount of times i've had someone recommend like the streets to me yeah and then like i go and Stormzy. The amount of times I've had someone recommend like the streets to me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:25 And then like I go and listen to the song they recommend and I'm just like, maybe something lost in the translation. I did listen to that album, original pirate material, but it was in high school. I just thought it was funny. It was funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:40 He was just like talking. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Oh, really? I don't want to say it because now that song
Starting point is 00:35:46 is full of slang words. I like Dizzy Rascal, though. Dizzy Rascal rules. Just a rascal. That was, I feel like, the same, like in high school, I feel like people were trying
Starting point is 00:35:54 to get me onto the streets hard and then MC Solar. And I was like, Bro, he was in a couple skate videos. The French guy. Solar, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:36:02 I don't have any idea what Solar's saying. And then the streets, I'm like, this is like, weird. Yeah. Someone ordering lunch. Yeah. Not like MF Doom weird, which at the time I was like,
Starting point is 00:36:14 see, this weird I like. MF Doom is strange, but like, he's not British, but he's like weird as shit. Right. But I'm like, the streets is like weird and I don't quite get it. I'll trust you that it's good. Can I do something? And this doesn't even need to be in the quite get it. I'll trust you that it's good. Okay. Can I do something? And this doesn't even need to be in the show.
Starting point is 00:36:28 I was like, Will, do you listen to MF Doom? Are you trying to have the song Pussyhole by Dizzy Rascal? Because I was about to do that. I love Dizzy Rascal. There's an MF Doom song I heard in the store the other day. And I do not know what song it is. And I'm going to try to do a little bit of the beat. Was it a Trader Joe's? It was like in a Target or something.
Starting point is 00:36:44 It really was. Target? So it goes like this? It was like in a Target or something. It really was. Target? So it goes like this. It goes like... Is that doing anything for any of you? No? It's like a Halloween-y sounding beat. And that's why I tried to do the whistle and the hum thing.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Try Danger Doom. Danger Doom? Okay. I'll write it down. I'll try it later. Sorry to do that, but that opportunity would never come up in a normal conversation to ask somebody. Well, now the listeners might know, too. I think it was the perfect
Starting point is 00:37:14 opportunity. Oh, yeah. Keep it in, Isaac. All right. Anyway. Why did you want it cut out? I just felt like a tool. I don't have a lot of self-confidence and I think I'm ugly. What do you want to hear? I look in the mirror every day and I'm like, The way we determine the order of this draft is through
Starting point is 00:37:33 a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, David wins an unnatural victory of paper against two scissors. David, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors,
Starting point is 00:37:50 it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? Great question. It's like a dog. You ever see a dog on a dog course go through their little slalom section? You know what I'm talking about
Starting point is 00:38:05 just kind of smashing it's the cutest thing in the world if you haven't seen a dog go through a slalom section but yeah they just smash little tushies into each of the poles but left right left right left right left right sub question who knows how to spell slalom because I sure didn't S-L-A-L-O-M
Starting point is 00:38:22 S-L-A-L-O-M is Yeah, S-L-A-L-O-M is what I... So all of you then. Isaac, be honest. Did you know? Isaac's pooping. No, no, no. I'm sorry. You caught me off guard here. I don't know what that word is. Slalom?
Starting point is 00:38:39 Do you know how to spell it? I didn't ask if you know what it is. How would I know how to spell it if I don't know what the word is? Listen, I don't know what a the is, but I could have spelled it for you, bud. Follow-up question. Did you watch the Winter Olympics in like 1998? That's the only reason I know it. It's because of
Starting point is 00:38:54 one... I was four years old. I did not watch it. We were all four. We were all four years old. You were four years old? I was like learning how to roll blunts from the movie Kids. Whoa. What was you were four years old, I was learning how to roll blunts from the movie Kids. Different flavor. I was 15 trying to do the same thing,
Starting point is 00:39:10 but not with the insides of clothes. 1998, I was playing the Nagano Winter Olympics video game on the Nintendo 64. I remember that. Not as fun as it looked on the case. Not at all. You're like, oh, a whole new world. A video game. No, not good.
Starting point is 00:39:27 FIFA was good, but yeah. Olympics games never are fun, except for the Sonic one. Oh, I never played. On Switch, that one is fun, but I never have fun. I love the Olympics. Basically, what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now, David, with that
Starting point is 00:39:42 in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to go Ian, Will, David, Sean. Wow. Hot corner. That is a weird socialite's name. I'm Ian, Will, David, Sean. Ian, Will, David, Sean. How's it going?
Starting point is 00:39:58 Ian, Will, David, Sean. Ian, Will, David, Sean. My family invented war. Ian, nice to meet you. I'm the Baltimore David Shaw that means it is my first pick
Starting point is 00:40:11 and we will get to that first pick right after this short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you
Starting point is 00:40:19 by Policy Genius Policy Genius I'm going to hit you we're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick now 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here
Starting point is 00:40:32 nor there. PolicyGenius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With PolicyGenius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best?
Starting point is 00:41:11 What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously you want to be a little bit more careful about that, but how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does.
Starting point is 00:41:23 And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. They're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance,
Starting point is 00:41:58 I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy, get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service, so get on it.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Don't wait, don't hesitate, don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days
Starting point is 00:43:40 and you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this. But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton, you know? And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business.
Starting point is 00:44:01 No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it.
Starting point is 00:44:17 So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co. That's 15% off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy.
Starting point is 00:44:34 And we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy everything. The only podcast that has ever existed. This is it. This is it. And we're about to draft British slang words. And I, your host Ian Carmel, have the first pick. And with my first pick, boy, I did not. I gotta take it. You gotta do it. And we're about to draft British slang words. And I, your host, Ian Carmel, have the first pick. And with my first pick, boy, I did not.
Starting point is 00:44:47 I gotta take it. You gotta do it. Yeah, you gotta do it. Just the one I use the most, the aforementioned one that has crept its way into our actual vernacular. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:57 Actual vernacular are two fun words to say back to back. Actual vernacular was my slam poetry diaries that I released when I was in prep school. You think I didn't have those? Actual vernacular is in like poetry diaries that I released when I was in prep school. You think I didn't have those?
Starting point is 00:45:06 Actual vernacular is in like 70 of Eminem's rhymes. Oh, yeah. My actual vernacular, I swoop like I'm Tara Dakum. Got a handjob from Dracula. Oh, there's the breakup. I'm Tara Lipinski, Miss Monica Lewinsky. I don't even know what that means.
Starting point is 00:45:33 I don't know either. He doesn't know. It means good at sliding and spitting. Oh, I don't know. Oh, man. I'm having a good day. It was fun. Turns out I don't know how to spell vernacular either but I typed it in anyways that's alright I am drafting
Starting point is 00:45:51 bruv bruv absolutely it's gotta be the first pick I just love it I don't know what it is about it that I love so much I don't see it with an accent that's truly serious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I don't think that was dark. You guys can't tell he was looking out the window. Oh, that's why they call a window pain. We've been trying to figure it out this whole time. It's Eminem again. It's Eminem again. It's Eminem again. That's why it's David's one of the, I think it's David's favorite. David's favorite rap lyric of all time.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Yeah. Well-documented staring out the window. I guess that's why they call it window pain. Don't do this to me. Sounds like a girl singers on that one. A female singer. Yeah. It's Rihanna.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. That makes sense. I call it Robin. You know, cause you know her like that. Yeah, you got it. Who do you call a Robin to?
Starting point is 00:46:50 Just my friends. Nobody. Business associates. My accountant. Staring out the window like Kim Kardashian. Got a ration. I feel like we didn't quite exhaust the rapping like Eminem. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:05 He's taking us back to it. Yeah. The key was like always this big viral celebrity. Yeah. And then doing something for them. But it was crazy when he said it. Cause he's like, what did Christina Aguilera do to you? This is truly one-sided beefs that he knew he could win.
Starting point is 00:47:25 I'm gonna smack the shit out of the Backstreet Boys. What do we do? We own an island. Yeah. Also, the Backstreet Boys don't have a dude like Bizarre hanging out with them to where they can handle a fight like that. We're being sexually abused by a manager. Why are you mad at us? Sorry, Dr. Dre didn't find
Starting point is 00:47:46 us. What do you want to do? It would be funny if he was still doing that now with the kind of people who are viral celebrities if he was like, I think René Thunberg is a huge nerd. It wouldn't have worked anymore. If he just never let the Backstreet Boys off the hook and he was still putting out
Starting point is 00:48:02 whole albums. And the Backstreet Boys are like, we all have families. We're doing a residency in Vegas. We're way past this. We're all on blood pressure medication. You need to stop. AJ's in rehab right now. I don't know why you gotta keep talking about it. You were right about AJ.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Because he's a rap guy. When you say bruv, do you say bruv to people? Let me cut you off. Do you say bruv to people anduv to people? Let me cut you off. Do you say bruv to people and without an accent? Let me cut you off. I like that. If you're going to cut somebody off, that's the only way to do it. Let me cut you off right there.
Starting point is 00:48:36 I do say bruv without the accent. I don't throw it on there. I'm like, what's up, bruv? Like that, usually. With an ascending tone. Also, you know, I don't think I throw yeah, I don't think I throw an accent on it. I think it has earnestly become. The whole thing's got to have an accent if you're going to do it. Oi, bruv.
Starting point is 00:48:53 But otherwise, if it's like, bruv, what's happening? Like, I do find myself saying it like that, like, bruv. It's just, at some point, bro, and I do earnestly say bro quite a bit, but there is some self-consciousness to bro sometimes where you're like, am I saying bro right now? Are people looking at Scantz at me for saying bro? As much as they are for saying a Scantz.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Yeah, that's true. Don't let Eminem hear you say that. Scantz and a Manson and a Manson. Table dancing, friends. Table dancing with Hanson while I'm singing Hanson I like that this podcast has just evolved to us doing a Chris D'Elia bit
Starting point is 00:49:34 well he's not doing anything with it anymore he's trying man holy cow I saw a clip the other day that dude is gone I'll tell you what he is using a word. If we can, I don't think the one's going to take it, but a bit of a nonce.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Yeah. It's British slang for pedophile. I always thought it was short for Nancy. Yeah. Nonce is like a cute term for such a horrible thing. That is too cute.
Starting point is 00:50:05 It's like kidnapping where you're like, what's that, kidnapping? It's too weird. Bit of a nonce, eh? Bit of a nonce. Nance. Bruv is my first pick. I just feel, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:50:14 I love it. I love hearing people say it. I love when they say it. It feels like a term of endearment. It can be a cause for alarm. It can be a warning. It can be so many different things, bruv. My brother calls me bruv.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Yeah. We kind of do British accents to each other all the time. So he's always like, bruv, bruv. I'm like, we actually are bruvs. Bruvers. You're bruvers. And that's cute too, because it's short for bruvver. This is my older bruvver. My bruvver.
Starting point is 00:50:41 I think Kingsman got us going down this road when we were in the fortress. I think we watched Kingsman on enough Sundays and it was like, as soon as it done, like wings, bro. A lot of that.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Bro. Fancy wing, bro. Yeah. That was my first book. Well, it is time for your first pick. All right.
Starting point is 00:50:59 My first pick. Well, bro is like one of those where you're like, okay, I know bro. So my first pick is going is like one of those where you're like, okay, I know bruv. So my first pick is going to be one of those as well. I think we can all agree, innit is quite the slang. Yeah, come on.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Innit, right? Innit. I mean, they go together like peanut butter and jelly, bruv. Yeah, innit bruv. Innit bruv. Innit bruv. Innit. Yeah, innit is like, it just sounds so good when they say, it's a good slang when you can't even take it.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Yeah, yeah. Like, I can't even, if I say it, it's always like goofing. I couldn't say it like realistically, like, what's that? It's about seven, innit? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I can't even. It's like in a sci-fi movie when like a gun is like, it has to read your fingerprints
Starting point is 00:51:45 or you can't use it. It's like, isn't it? Oh, come on. It's not firing. And it's one of those that crosses over.
Starting point is 00:51:54 You said you watched Top Boy and I watched Love Island UK. It's on both shows. Right. So it's like, it crosses so many bounds, like so many different barriers. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Isn't it? Yeah. Damn. It's perfect. Yeah. It's also, you don't need, it's, different barriers yeah isn't it yeah damn it's perfect yeah it's also you don't need it's it's isn't it but it is not actually asking for a reply it's a completely rhetorical like speech device they also that in it i think this also because this eliminates things that i think are like very similar like ain. Some of them will say ain't I or aren't I. I love that. I was going to ask if that would even count, but I love that shit. I don't know if it does,
Starting point is 00:52:33 but like, well, I don't know. Do I? And I think of Bricktop and Snatch when he's like, I don't know. Do I? When he's just going on that rant and he just says it like four times. It sounds like you're just talking about your South Dakota friends when you say that.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Some dude was Bricktop. I can't even say it. Yeah. You would have a friend named Snatch. Yeah, Snatch. Snatch, Bricktop. Yeah, we probably got someone similar. You probably have a female friend named Snatch,
Starting point is 00:53:08 and it's very rude to everyone else where it's like, you guys call her Snatch? It's like, no, she calls her Snatch. Her parents call her Snatch. Yeah, it's a family name. She has a doctorate now. Have you ever heard Gucci Mane talk about that? Where he's like, it's not after the he's like, it's not after the Italian
Starting point is 00:53:26 brand. It's a family name. What is? Gucci Mane. Oh, really? I swear, it's really weird. That took me years to get that it was Mane. I was like, Gucci Mane. And everyone's like, it's Mane. And I'm like, why?
Starting point is 00:53:43 He spelled it right for you. Yeah. So, you know, that's like it's main and i'm like why why is it right for you yeah so you know that's all he's gonna say even if it has no e at the end so he's like yeah and it bro fantastic pick david my first oh you know what this is one that I really love it when they say it. It's another one that I can't take, but it sounds so cool when they say it. Leave it out. Oh, man. Like every time you just like, you know what, it's so good, but it's nothing because when I say it It sounds like a declaration Like leave it out Isaac leave it out It sounds so grown
Starting point is 00:54:32 When you're saying You know like if you're like Leave it out It just sounds so It doesn't sound cool It doesn't sound as It doesn't sound like it's light And it's fun
Starting point is 00:54:39 No That's English But like Leave it out Leave it out We all speak English But but leave it out. Different English. Yeah, theirs is weirder.
Starting point is 00:54:49 They invented it, so they're capable of, like, you know, just magisterial things over there. I'm reminded of Don Cheadle in Ocean's Eleven. A hundred percent. Leave it out. A hundred percent. Absolutely. That's exactly who I was thinking of first did not think I was going to get called on
Starting point is 00:55:10 leave it out leave it out it's the scene where he's like somebody's fucking up the bomb as he's trying to get out of the bank safe and he's like oh leave it out yeah I love it. They can mean it to different degrees
Starting point is 00:55:28 of severity, too, because there's cute leave it out, and sometimes they can say leave it out and be serious, too. They're annoyed. I told you I don't want to have sex. Leave it out. Leave it out. Your examples are so strange.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Peanut butter John, I told you I don't want to have sex. Your examples are so strange. I'm a sexual being. Peanut Butter John, I told you I don't want to have sex. Come to Sioux Falls, you'll meet Peanut Butter John, and you'll get it. That guy's different. Leave it out, Peanut Butter John. Peanut Butter John, leave it out. That sounds like a British pop song. Leave it out, Peanut Butter John. Peanut Butter John, leave it song. Leave it out.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Peanut butter John. Peanut butter John. Leave it out. Leave it out. Well, that was an Oasis song. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right before they beat the shit out of each other at Lollapalooza.
Starting point is 00:56:16 650,000 people went to Wembley to watch them sing Leave It Out, and everybody else knew the word. Peanut butter John. Wait, did they really fight each other at Lollapalooza they fought each other a bunch they got one like it wasn't at Lollapalooza but yeah they fought they were always at ends because I think Noel which one was the edgy one they had two
Starting point is 00:56:37 people pregnant at the same time both of them suck let's be clear about that one of them was the business end real focused on it and the other one was like just i want to be a rock star like did everything rock stars do and like he had two i think two supermodels pregnant at the same time or something or like irish twins with a couple of them it was not uncool no it's not yeah you're making cases oh what a prick that really sounds like one of the bad ones. I would never.
Starting point is 00:57:08 That's the business one, right? Who did that? No. Yeah, Liam. He had two different J.P. Morgan executives pregnant at the same time. Call that a hack show. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:57:23 The bull market right there leave it out that's a great one yeah I love it there was this woman who worked on the show the late late show she was
Starting point is 00:57:34 she was and is wonderful Josie Cliff and she used to say leave it out but in like the in the most loving silly way leave it out
Starting point is 00:57:42 leave it out leave it out leave it out I want I want somebody to say leave it out, Ian. Leave it out, Ian. I want somebody to say, leave it out, love. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I'm saying so. That's all right. Sean Jordan, time for your first two picks, bro. It's mental.
Starting point is 00:57:58 Mental's good. Mental's great. Mental is amazing. It's just so... Yo, bro, this mental... The thing about all these is it's hard to just so yo bro this mental you can't the thing about all these it's hard to do without saying bro
Starting point is 00:58:09 or something before well you gotta like combine them I don't know I can't it's hard to say a British sentence without also saying bro
Starting point is 00:58:16 you know like something can't just be mental it's got bro it's mental it's mental innit yeah leave it out bro
Starting point is 00:58:22 it's mental innit I'm waiting towards the end I want Ian to cook up cook up a 20 word isn't it? Leave out, bro. It's mental, isn't it? At least it's not funny. I'm waiting towards the end. I want Ian to cook up a 20-word I'll use them all in one sentence. I'll see if I still have my fastball. I don't know. Yeah, mental. I don't know. It's just Another one you can't say without
Starting point is 00:58:41 the accent, too. No. I mean, I guess Mike Myers said it in Wayne's World. I was just going to say Wayne's World. He said, are you mental? Yeah. It sounds so different when you say it without the accent though, because if you had the hard L on there,
Starting point is 00:58:55 it sounds you're really proving a point. You can't be like, oh, bruv, the sandwich is mental. You can't be like, the sandwich is mental. It doesn't need to be a British accent, but it does need to be an accent yeah that's true like give us some examples of what accents you think it should be it was mental dude it was completely mental bro it was crazy dude yeah and i won't try the jamaican one yeah but even again if you're saying mental like a bro if you're saying mental like a bro it sounds like he's
Starting point is 00:59:23 talking about a car accident or something it, it sounds like he's talking about a car accident or something. It doesn't sound like he's talking about how light the traffic was. It sounds real serious. But a British person saying mental is also talking about a traffic accident. It could be, but it also could be something real lighthearted. Mental.
Starting point is 00:59:40 These strawberries were so fresh, bro, but it was mental. No? Oh. That monologue we did was mental. Does anyone say that? Yeah, but like if some dude, like if the key grip was like, bro, that monologue was mental, bro.
Starting point is 00:59:57 No, it's usually it's a little bit closer to it's not quite buck, but it's closer to buck than I think maybe you think it is i mean i'll say getting a full tank of gas is buck from time you catch me on the right day i'll be like bro i got my whole gas tank full maybe it's exactly like buck i think mental is a buck
Starting point is 01:00:16 analog i think yeah i think i think it's a little bucker than buck but i see where you're going and i don't know if it i don't know if it is bucker than buck because anything can be buck depends on the mood on the day you're having. Like this, honestly, this tangerine, a wild strawberry, Pellegrino, I called this buck today. I called it buck. I just got the peach clementine San Pellegrino zeros. Amazing. Those look
Starting point is 01:00:35 like I'm going to the store. They're doing some flavor shit. They got black cherry pomegranate. Are you serious? Wait. Oh, yeah. Zero sugar? The zero ones. Zero everything, right? Zero calories.
Starting point is 01:00:49 Zero sweeteners. Yeah, right here, baby. I might go to Costco while we're recording this. I might see if I can just bring my whole unit with me. Put it on mobile, bro. I'm in. Oh, yeah, Instacart. I'm going to go grab one out of the fridge after my next pick.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Sean, I apologize for quibbling with you on the terms of buck versus mental. I have chosen quibble on this podcast is in the keywords draft. So thank you for bringing that up. Respect the game. And the next second pick, I'm going trainers. I love it. I hate that one.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Oh, really? I have something about it. I don't know know and it's only in the recent years but something about it bugs me I'll tell you this about fucking trainers the Brits say they say Nike trainers a lot of them
Starting point is 01:01:38 and Adidas isn't that technically how you're supposed to say it Adidas Adidasler Adidasler so that's isn't that technically how you're supposed to say it adidas because his name was adidasler adidasler so that's fair but nike i'll tell you that as someone as someone from beaverton did you take like full offense over a hundred percent umbridge all of my available umbridge i took with it and they still for like eight nine years i would correct them right off the rip with james corden to my boss i was was like, it's Nike.
Starting point is 01:02:06 I have to say something. I have to say something. I can't call my... And then like a decade later, it's just so ingrained in them that they're still saying like, look at these Noctrinas. Look at these Noctrinas. Look at these Noctrinas. Nike. It's like I grew up miles from Nike. Yes. Nike
Starting point is 01:02:22 World Headquarters. Miles from Nike. Two syllables. I could throw a baseball into Nike World Headquarters from where I went to middle school. Exactly. Nike World Headquarters. Two syllables. I could throw a baseball into Nike World Headquarters from where I went to middle school. I promise you it's Nike. They don't care. I mean, to be fair, I don't care that it's Porsche or whatever it is. Or whatever it is. What is it?
Starting point is 01:02:38 You guys say Audi or Audi? I say Audi. I say Audi. I would say Audi. I don't know why. I would never drive a Nazi sled. You don't say Audi-o. Audi 5000 was the car, right? Yeah, exactly. That's, yeah, that's where, yeah. Yeah, which I do say 5000. Well, I cut the Audi off. I just say 5000.
Starting point is 01:02:54 That's one that I'll still say to people. You say it all the time. They either get it or they don't. I say it to plenty of people that are like, what? And I'm like, oh, like, and I'm like, like, Doughboy, youboy, you don't know what I'm talking about? Because Doughboy, he just said 5,000 the whole time. He never said Audi 5,000. That was like
Starting point is 01:03:09 clueless shit. I wonder if that was because John Singleton didn't get the rights from Audi or something. Oh. Whatever it was, but 5,000 is just... John, the studio has one last note. It's about what? Boys in the hood and it's spelled like that.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Take Audi out of it. Some German guy sitting down to read the script in like a beautiful Alpine lodge. Oh, so it's about boys in the hood. Boys in the hood. Like the hood of an Audi? So what if they're caught? Boys are on the hood. Are they looking sexy on the hood? No the hood of an Audi? The hood of the car? The boys are on their hood? Are they looking sexy on their hood?
Starting point is 01:03:47 No. Shooting guns? No. No, man. The gang and violence. The gang and violence. The gang and violence. Gang and violence.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Famous. Famous. Famous German Footballer. Der Gang in Weimstein. Der Gang in Weimstein. Oh scheiße, Katriki. Like even the dude reading it at the end is still like, oh, it hurts.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Ich würde auf Sieg sagen. Ich sage, du nimmst doch Sieg. Oh scheiße, Katriki. I don't know why I got it so Oh shit I got Ricky The killer He will not win The killer The dope boy
Starting point is 01:04:37 No Ricky No Audi No 5000 So yeah Trainers got us there Trainers I like it Trainers
Starting point is 01:04:50 The second pick David time for your second pick Oh man I'm taking Dishy for sexy Dishy I just like I just like the way it sounds
Starting point is 01:05:03 Dishy Dishy She's Dishy He's D way it sounds. Dishy. Dishy. She's dishy. He's dishy. They're dishy. There's really nothing else I have to say. Do you just spell it like D-I-S-H-Y, like dishy? Mm-hmm. Never heard it.
Starting point is 01:05:16 That's a fun one, though. I was trying to look up... It's so funny when there's an interesting topic like this, like what my Google history search is, because I had British terms for sex and just all this, you know, all this stuff. But that was,
Starting point is 01:05:28 was it because of a draft? No, I haven't closed my window for a decade. You were just trying to spice stuff up in the loo. In the loo? I think that's the toilet. No, I don't say that.
Starting point is 01:05:37 In the toilet? What do you do? I got a bedroom maybe? I'm sorry. Some of us are free. In the boot. He's trying to put it in the boot. In the boot.
Starting point is 01:05:50 Oh no. Are you fucking a boot now? Oh no. In my loo. Yo, she's mental dishy, isn't she, bruv? I just love the idea of someone in England listening to this just like fuming. I think there's plenty of people across the pond that are going to England listening to this just like fuming. I think there's plenty of people
Starting point is 01:06:05 listening to this like feeling a certain kind of way. Good or bad. Just remember, you know, we were late but we did help during World War II. Yeah. And I liked you guys. I went over there. It was alright.
Starting point is 01:06:22 I do too. I fucking love it over there. I love, yeah. I would love to live in London. I do too. I fucking love it over there. I love. Yeah. I would love to live in London. I would too. We all would. It would be wonderful. I don't want to live there. Really?
Starting point is 01:06:32 I've never been. And I honestly bet I, I bet I would want to live there. It seemed okay. I wouldn't want to live there. Interesting. Is that about New York? It's all dreary.
Starting point is 01:06:41 I don't want to live a ton of places. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? It's like, what I mean I would do a year or two but like I don't I like where I'm at yeah I know I like where you're at too it's a good time
Starting point is 01:06:57 it's a good time I would love to do like a I don't know like a six month to a year period in London would be great. Right. That's how I feel about New York. Write a movie. Write a movie.
Starting point is 01:07:08 And then you like, that's what I want to do so badly is like write a movie and then have to live somewhere for a little bit. Wouldn't that be a dream? Yeah. Yeah. Right. I'm writing this movie about the history of Antigua. There you go. There you go.
Starting point is 01:07:21 I don't know how that. Go to Antigua. No. They figure out a way to film it in Vancouver. Yeah, exactly. That's what would happen. Yeah, we can't send you all the way there, bud, but we'll get you to Vancouver. We'll get you some Mule Vouchers,
Starting point is 01:07:33 some Per Diem. A lot of people write shit about New York or Chicago, thinking probably they're going to get to go to those cities, and then it is always Vancouver. It's like Vancouver... Toronto and Vancouver look just like Chicago and New York. We have no reason to go to those cities. And then it is always Vancouver. It's like Vancouver, Toronto and Vancouver look just like Chicago and New York. We have no reason to go to spend that much tax money.
Starting point is 01:07:48 I caught this the other day. I was watching The Sopranos and they have a, Carmela had to go to the hospital and they cut away to a hospital that's in Beaverton. My daughter was born there. And the cutaways,
Starting point is 01:07:58 yeah, the cutaway shot, I was like, whoa, it's just weird how that stuff works sometimes. Until you've been around it even a little bit You don't really notice or care But having briefly been
Starting point is 01:08:08 On a set a couple times or whatever And you see that and you're like Oh, they can do magic like that There's an episode of 24 Where the president is fishing In Lake Oswego, Oregon And they cut To this beautiful bucolic
Starting point is 01:08:23 Mountain lake Gorgeous gorgeous surrounded by trees and the real lake oswego you can't you literally can't park a boat in it because it's surrounded by houses yeah there's like just houses yeah it's tight i mean it's funny for like 50 000 people yeah yeah yeah or they'll cut you see it in la like they'll cut from the 405 to some freeway like out and pass like just they'll just bounce all over the place in a car chase. It's not in the same places. But why would you ever notice? Chicago PD does this thing where they'll do like
Starting point is 01:08:52 Racine is a north-south street. So they'll say, this person's at 3815 West Racine. And so I think it's so we can be like in Chicago, we're like, that's not a real address. So nobody actually lives there so nobody gets in trouble. Oh, it's can be like in chicago we're like that doesn't that's not a real address so there's so like nobody actually lives there so nobody gets in trouble oh it's a five five five of addresses
Starting point is 01:09:10 and they'll do like the uh they'll do streets that run the same way but they'll say they're at the corner of like halston and ashland and it's like halston and ashland run the same way but they're like we know we know that but yeah that's how big the disaster was the city folded over like a piece of new york pizza uh dishy is great dishy is really good it's cute is that that probably is one of the uh what do they say west indian slang i'm not sure it feels like dishy i feel like i've heard it in british rap songs yeah that is uh will time for your second pick. Alright, my second pick is Chat Shit. What is that? Oh, I like that.
Starting point is 01:09:49 You trying to chat shit to me? Yeah. That might have been Australian. Oh, chat shit. Like talk shit, but you're chatting shit. I think it's like talking shit. I thought it was just a Love Island UK thing. That's so nice. Because they're like, you know, it's a reality show, so they're always like, is she chatting shit? Is that person chatting shit? And it's like that. But then
Starting point is 01:10:05 Little Sims has a song called No Mercy. I like Little Sims. I like Little Sims too. Great. And Little Sims in that song, she says something like, I see you chatting shit, and I'm like, everybody says it. Alright, good. I think I'm going to like Little Sims as soon as we're done
Starting point is 01:10:21 listening to or recording this. I've never heard of her before, but I will. Fear No Man is crazy. There's a song she has called Fear No Man. I can't wait. I'm going to get on the treadmill as soon as we're done. She has a lot of great songs, but that one is the one me and my daughter. Gorilla. I mean, Gorilla's like
Starting point is 01:10:37 the good one. Gorilla's insane. Gorilla's awesome. Yeah. Chat and shit. It just sounds so... There's something so like... Maybe it's because I'm American, but it just sounds so dumb to be like talking shit. I don't know. chat and shit. It just sounds so... There's something so like... Maybe it's because I'm American, but it just sounds so dumb to be like, talk and shit. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:10:49 Chat and shit sounds like polite and regal. Chat and shit. A lot of their shit is just like... It's so silly, and then it feels more playful. Yeah. It feels... You know, like...
Starting point is 01:11:00 I don't know. I would rather say, so when you chat and shit, then are you talking shit? I feel like it leads to fights less often. Do you think our stuff sounds more like aggressive? Yes. I think it's because we have guns. Because it doesn't. It could be.
Starting point is 01:11:12 I kind of think it is. If someone said, like, you know, I heard you were chatting shit or whatever, it wouldn't put me on edge. But if someone says, I heard you were talking shit, it puts me on edge where I'm like, wait, what are you talking? I didn't like you just saying it just now. Yeah, I was scared. I put my hands up was scared wait you guys chatting shit then you're like maybe I don't know
Starting point is 01:11:29 calibrated to their tough accents which is something I've learned I don't realize when somebody sounds tough over there at all you have no idea everybody sounds like a calliope being played like somebody could be like you chatting shit and I'm like,
Starting point is 01:11:45 hello, governor. It's trouble. The cockney can sound a little tough. Like I go back to Bricktop, but like the talk with your bottom lip, like that can sound tough. I almost found myself in a fight at like the rugby stadium in North London
Starting point is 01:12:03 with this guy and his dad. Cause I was like, I just didn't see the warning signs. Cause they were so silly. Cause the accent, they were these little British guys, you know? And you're like,
Starting point is 01:12:15 Oh wait, it's like, I was like a millimeter away from being in like a big fight with a bunch of British. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, Oh no.
Starting point is 01:12:23 Cause like I waited in this line for beer. And this dude was selling beer out of his backpack. And then like I was second in line and the dude in front of me bought like 10 beers and brought his dad over to like hold a bunch of them. And then the guy was like, well, I'm sold out. And I've been waiting in that line for like 20 minutes. So I was like, yo. It was an Elton John concert, right? Or Mick Jagger or something?
Starting point is 01:12:40 It was at a Rolling Stones concert. And I was like, yo, let me get like two of those. Like, come on. You can't just like call your friends over. And then that like escalated from there. But the hotel, I mean, it was like a Rolling Stones concert and I was like yo let me get like two of those like come on you can't just like call your friends over and then that like escalated from there but the whole time it was like this you know you're chatting shit you're chatting shit and I'm like
Starting point is 01:12:53 yeah chatting shit we all live in a yellow submarine are you gonna give me some fucking beers I don't like Yoko either alright I love that chat shit is great time for my second and third picks let me think here
Starting point is 01:13:16 that's a lot man I have my ever very oh god damn I'm taking fucking wanker wank'm taking fucking wanker. Wanker's good. Wanker, dude. That's one that does. If somebody calls you a wanker, that's got some fucking spit on it.
Starting point is 01:13:34 It's still so silly sounding, though. Is it super offensive? Is it like dropping a C-bomb? I don't know. They don't have C-bombs. I know they don't. But like. I don't think they have an equivalent.
Starting point is 01:13:46 I don't think so either. Okay. I don't think so either. Okay, okay. There's wankers up there. If somebody calls you a wanker, there's not really a polite way. Like, did you call a friend a wanker like in joking? Or is it like that serious? Feel free to correct me, British people, but I've never heard someone... I think they'll be correct
Starting point is 01:14:01 in this whole thing. I think they will be. I have never heard someone think they'll be correct in this whole thing I think they will be I have never heard someone be called a wanker in the term of endearment before it's always just been like that
Starting point is 01:14:11 like that fucking wanker always a fucking wanker and it's always preceded by fuck like it's rarely is it not of a fuck before it a lot of the time
Starting point is 01:14:19 yeah I was watching the show Flat Share it's on freebie which is I think everyone has if they want it, which no one seems to want. They call it free and you still
Starting point is 01:14:30 gotta tell people it's free. It's Freebie. I'm good on it, actually. They have a show called Flatshare. It's British and the girl says wanker a couple times. But I remember her saying somebody called her a wanker and she was offended, but she was like, but should I be? I mean, I am a wanker and she was offended but she was like,
Starting point is 01:14:45 but should I be? I mean, I am a wanker. I wank all the time. So I think wank still means masturbator. She's doing that middle school logic on her. Yeah, yeah. Guy called me a jerk-off but yeah, a jerk-off
Starting point is 01:14:57 so I guess maybe he's right. Oh, it's like jerk-off maybe, right? Oh, that's interesting. It's like calling somebody a jerk off. Like you're a wanker. You're a jerk off. Which usually you're not, you don't get a lot of lighthearted jerk off.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Not a lot of people jokingly call someone a jerk off. No, no, you really don't hear that ever. That's a good point. Yeah. Man, I don't, that'd be a tough one to bring back. That'd be a tough little litmus test. Jerk off?
Starting point is 01:15:23 Yeah. Chicago says jag off a lot. Oh yeah, we already'd be a tough little litmus test. Jerk off? Yeah. Chicago says jag off a lot. Oh yeah, we already went. Jag off is hilarious to me. It's the same thing. I mean, like he was in there, kids in school would be like, oh, you jagging off. What a weird era that was. When dudes would tell other dudes, I bet you jack off.
Starting point is 01:15:42 No! Exactly. No, man, I don't jack off. I just fuck girls. No, absolutely not. You don't fuck girls. Anytime I get horny, I go have sex. You're all gonna go blind tomorrow. Exactly. You're in eighth grade. You're not
Starting point is 01:15:57 fucking. You are definitely jagging off. With double G's. Yeah. Yeah. And your parents know. You think they don't but they do yeah uh wanker
Starting point is 01:16:11 moment of silence for Jagoff like we did let her breathe a little bit we didn't have to for back when Jagoff was a bad thing fucking Jagoff remember the hand test yeah oh yeah yeah people would smash your hand
Starting point is 01:16:29 but also like if you look or there's also the hey if you have hair in your palm that means you jack off and if you look that means you jack off because otherwise you wouldn't look otherwise why would you look we could turn into a whole nother podcast but we well anyway never mind child childhood
Starting point is 01:16:46 torture dude dude stuff young boy stuff um i'm taking nose bag oh i don't even know what that is cocaine yeah nose bag let me get a nose bag oh wow there you go that's some of that work slang right there let me get some nose bag i think he's on a lot of nose bag really did you see did you see mike at the party last night he was absolutely mental on nose bag nice if you don't have an accent you sound like such a tool when you say oh my gosh he was mental on nosebag last night. Oh my God. Mike was mental on nosebag last night, didn't he? He got blood all over his trainers.
Starting point is 01:17:33 He told me to leave it out, and I said, no, I have to tell someone. Yeah, nosebag. Just a real fun way. I mean, that's exactly what it is, isn't it? It's just a fun way to say cocaine. Yeah, nose bag. Just a real fun way. I mean, that's exactly what it is, isn't it? It's just a fun way to say cocaine. Yeah, nose bag. It is so funny when you get cute, cute nicknames for drugs like that. Like nose bag.
Starting point is 01:17:53 I don't know. Blow is still fun to say, but it sounds aggressive. Get some blow, bro. It just sounds fun. The first time I heard nose bag, I was like, well, I'll be calling it that. Yeah, sure. Especially when you put your nose in the bag, I was like, well, I'll be calling it that. Yeah. Especially when you put your nose in the bag. It's like, yeah, that makes sense.
Starting point is 01:18:12 Which arguably probably the most aggressive way to do it is putting your nose in the bag. Like a horse? Yeah, the cutest way to make it sound. You're like, put your nose in the bag. Like Scarface. An alien coming. An alien came to Earth like, this is how you do cocaine?
Starting point is 01:18:26 All right. Yeah, sure. You just do it all and don't give your friends any? Right. Yeah, I never heard that. That's great, man. I like that.
Starting point is 01:18:38 I just keep picturing Louis saying every one of these words because he's like the Brit that you worked with that I had the most contact with. Nose bag, in my experience experience is more of a low like a lower income background okay at least the people I heard using it uh Louie was not a person who ever said nose bag and he's my friend who went to a he's the upper crust public schools which are their private schools but they call them public schools what do they call the public schools
Starting point is 01:19:05 shite I don't know just call them schools yeah I was at school oh you scumbag what are you poor I sure am I don't have enough money for public school
Starting point is 01:19:21 what do you want my mom's not a surgeon we can't go to public school like everybody else nose bag cocaine those bags good that's sick i'm learning i'm learning some today well time for your third pick my third pick is a fully love island word but i think everyone might know it mug off oh I mean, I get it. Yeah. I would understand if I was told to mug off. And it means like break up with also. Where the girls and guys on that show are like, yeah, she mugged me off.
Starting point is 01:19:55 It means like she kind of let me go. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Mug off is close to jag off. Just a slight little change means a whole different thing. They have a bunch of those that are wildly close to jag off. It sounds, you know, just a slight little change means a whole different thing. They have a bunch of those that are kind of like mug off.
Starting point is 01:20:10 There's another one like, I think I can say it because I don't think we're going to say it. What if I have it though? It's on mine. That's true. Alright, I'm not going to say it. But there's like, there's these like families of terms like blank off. There's like a lot of stuff. Yeah. In that area that's really fun yeah
Starting point is 01:20:25 mug off is great though oh no I don't have another off one slag off oh I don't know that one yeah yeah slag off is like a is like it means mug off they're like the same thing they told me it's slag off but then slag has other meanings of its own separately so it's kind of like
Starting point is 01:20:41 it's like a buzz off like buzz off it's like it's not a fuck off it's a get buzz off, like buzz off. It's like, it's not a fuck off. It's a get out of here. S.O.D. Sod off. Yeah. Oh, mug off. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:49 Leave it out. Mug off. Leave it out. Maybe. I'll leave it out. Aluminium. Like, if you tell, if you slag someone off, that's like, you're like fucking, I'm like, Sean, you stupid piece of shit.
Starting point is 01:21:01 Like, why are you slagging me off? Yeah. Okay. I like that. Why are you mugging me off? Yeah, maybe they're slightly different. Maybe they're different. I'll slag you off.
Starting point is 01:21:09 I'll slag you off in the back of a bus. She can slag me off. Some of these drives are going to be long. It's a long drive between Chicago and Minneapolis. I could usually slag off. Are we driving? Maybe we should discuss that. We'll figure it out.
Starting point is 01:21:20 I was going to start bringing it. I was going to make a little email. I've been looking at hotels and stuff. Anyway, they don't need to hear this. Those are long drives. The Midwest ones are long drives. Just don't drive through Indiana. It's just so boring.
Starting point is 01:21:32 No offense to Indiana listeners. We did it once. We did. I've done it several times. Yeah, me too. It's so boring. Not in the Indies. The flatlands.
Starting point is 01:21:41 Like, some of those drives on the East Coast, yeah, they're long, but at least there's just stuff everywhere. And also, they had little Bambis on the side of the road. I've never seen a Bambi before. It was crazy. Are you saying it is? It's one straight road throughout a whole four
Starting point is 01:21:56 hours. It's like, kill me now. Nebraska, too. I-80 through Nebraska is the straightest, flattest line you can get. It's so whack. Sorry, Nebraska. That drive blows. It nosebags. David, time for your third pick. I'm taking quid.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Yeah. This is the cool way to save money that I wish we had over here. And I've tried to throw it in. It's never received well. I'll let you, man. It makes you sound like a fucking asshole. There's that fine line between
Starting point is 01:22:31 You got that 20 quid you owe me? Oh, this guy's been to London. Get that study abroad energy. Yeah, yeah. Oh, study abroad. That's the worst energy. I had a boss who used to always be like, I miss my friends ugh
Starting point is 01:22:47 go back then this girl she moved to Ireland for six weeks you were there they weren't your friends fucking American you say cheers oh cheers mate shut up shut up this girl moved to Ireland for about six weeks came back and the whole rest of the
Starting point is 01:23:03 school year she had an Irish accent. We're like, uh-uh. I would have given you five days, but the whole rest of the year and we're like, I don't know about all that. Back after the end of the school year? I can't remember.
Starting point is 01:23:19 Oh, what's up, Tracy? Yeah, when she had the summer off and she just came back. The pool soaked that accent right off you. Went to the school with Madonna. That's always wild too. Madonna and Mel Gibson too where they're like, what are you doing? He did it on purpose though, right?
Starting point is 01:23:36 I think they all did it on purpose. Mel Gibson was born in New York but then lived in Australia for a long time. But the road warrior, he has that Australia accent. He was raised in Australia. Yeah, Gasoline. for a long time. But the road warrior, he has that Australia accent. He was raised in Australia. What's all tanking that can hold that gasoline?
Starting point is 01:23:47 Yeah, gasoline. But he lived there. He didn't move till she was like 20-something, 30 maybe. So that's crazy. Yeah, that's right. Fine, I'll stop ripping
Starting point is 01:23:56 on Mel Gibson. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. No, I mean, he's on record as saying stop ripping on him. Why?
Starting point is 01:24:04 You guys are caping for Mel Gibson over here I'll just say whatever all fantasy everything the Mel Gibson defender podcast so mad at the John Wick people for putting him in the continental I'll just put that out there why'd you guys do that
Starting point is 01:24:17 two black guys and a Jew defend Mel Gibson available now on Wondery oh no sounds like a Marx Brothers joke yeah yeah yeah two black guys in a dude they walk into a room they say Mel Gibson they say hey we're defending you I say that's not my wife
Starting point is 01:24:40 that's how they always seem to end yeah a lot of wife confusion back in the 20s yeah apparently wife. That's how they always seem to end. A lot of wife confusion back in the 20s. Yeah. Apparently nobody knew who their wife was. That's not my wife. I've never paid attention to a face. Oh my god, there's so much
Starting point is 01:24:57 dust in my eyes. I couldn't see what was happening. I'm wearing too much wool. I was sweating all over somebody last night. Wonderful. I'm wearing too much wool I was sweating all over somebody last night Wonderful Quid is great Quid is like It also has a direct That is an amount right
Starting point is 01:25:15 It's like one pound is a quid I think But it's like a loonie But you can say like 20 quid right 20 bucks It's like bucks, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's how I thought of it. I don't want to be...
Starting point is 01:25:28 I'm having a dipshit. What's the actual money called? I'm losing it here. Pounds. Pounds. Pounds. Yeah, yeah. Pounds sterling.
Starting point is 01:25:35 I'm American. Yeah. I thought Canada's money was actually called loonies and toonies. I didn't realize that was like slang. Like they're... What is it called? Dollars.
Starting point is 01:25:44 Yeah, I think it's just dollars. The Canadian dollar. But it's a coin. Anyway. Whatever. We're right. Whatever. American dollars mean more. You guys keep playing checkers up there. We're playing Mahjong down here.
Starting point is 01:26:03 That's right. Goddamn right. We will be soon. Oh! Commentary, dude. There he goes. There it is. Conspiracies! I'm never going to be playing Mahjong. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:26:20 You can put me back in school. Put me back in. It ain't going to happen. Sian, time for your third and fourth picks not your second and fourth third pick I like saying I like dodgy dodgy is good it's on my list too straight out of love actually it sounds exactly like what it is yeah
Starting point is 01:26:38 dodgy sounds exactly right and I've taken to saying dicey quite a bit lately and dodgy is right in there with dicey. It's like a bit of a dodgy. Doesn't mean terrifying. It just means like keep your head up, you know, dodgy. And in Love Actually is where I'm like taking
Starting point is 01:26:54 it straight out of there. She's like, I live on the dodgy end. And then he goes, he's like, well, is this a bit of a dodgy end? You're like, yeah, you're all right. You know, you're doing okay. You just don't walk. Don't stare at your phone texting walking down the street. You know, someone will take it. You just don't walk, don't stare at your phone, texting walking down the street. You know, someone will take it. I wonder if that comes from the Artful Dodger.
Starting point is 01:27:10 If that's where Dodgy comes from. I bet it's one or the other. Is that a book? Oliver Twist. Dodgy? He was the coolest guy in that book, I thought. Yeah, he was a Dodger. He was a Dodger. Bit was a bit of a dodger.
Starting point is 01:27:26 A bit of a dodger. An awful dodger. Where does the name of the Dodgers come from? They were called the Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish.
Starting point is 01:27:36 Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish.
Starting point is 01:27:36 Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish.
Starting point is 01:27:36 Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish.
Starting point is 01:27:37 Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish.
Starting point is 01:27:37 Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish.
Starting point is 01:27:41 Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish. Because they were Irish that's what the irish do for fun they just you can dodge the trolley the dodge the trolley
Starting point is 01:27:45 yeah right in brooklyn they were crossing the street and the trolleys used to hit people so you had to dodge the trolley you had to die that's what like it was a term for people who lived in brooklyn was those like a bunch of fucking trolley dodgers over there yeah for a while was the baseball team called the brooklyn trolley dodgers or was it i think so wasn't it or no i don't think it was. The Trolley Dodgers is ridiculous sounding. I think people in Brooklyn That sounds like an insult.
Starting point is 01:28:11 Trolley Dodger? Your mom's a Trolley Dodger? Your sister's a Trolley Dodger? Whoa. Yeah. Say what? And your dad is a prick. A nose bag prick. He's a c your dad is a prick. A nosebag prick.
Starting point is 01:28:27 He's a cunt. A cunt. He's a cocaine prick, your dad. They were called the Brooklyn Atlantics. Atlantics. And then they were alternatively known as the Bridegrooms, the Grooms, the Superbas, the Robins, Trolley Dodgers, and then the Brooklyn Dodgers.
Starting point is 01:28:45 You're right. That's why you gotta have several drafts. First idea is never the best. Whoever got the job naming baseball teams right around the time they were called the Dodgers is the one they should have stuck with. Or the bridegrooms? You thought that was gonna stick?
Starting point is 01:29:01 The Brooklyn bridegrooms. Were there a lot of men married in brooklyn at the time maybe the hot new trend of marriage is sweeping the borough of brooklyn i just like go to a speakeasy i'm a goddamn trolley dodger i'll have a drink on the house tonight maybe they were trying to encourage all those goddamn irish bastards to finally uh lock down and live some sort of naturalized life for once. By the time they got to LA, that's like the Utah Jazz. It's like, by the time
Starting point is 01:29:32 it got to its final place, everyone's like, that's a weird fucking name. There's no trolleys here. It's just become so eponymous that it was like you don't even think about it. Now you think of Dodger, you think of LA. And the Lakers, too. The Minneapolis Lakers makes full sense. The LA Lakers is like, that doesn even think about it. Now you think of Dodger, you think of LA. And the Lakers too. The Minneapolis Lakers makes full sense.
Starting point is 01:29:47 The LA Lakers is like, that doesn't make any sense. There's no lakes. Yeah. They change names every couple of years too. Wow. Who?
Starting point is 01:29:55 The Charlie Dodgers. They're the Charlie Dodgers for me. Although Pistons makes more sense in Detroit than, weren't they Fort Wayne or something? Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yeah. Pistons works.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Is it really from cars? I never put that together. It's like from cars? I think so. Yeah. That's weird. They were the Dodgers in 1913 and then switched to the Brooklyn Robins from 1914 to 31 and then switched back to the Dodgers in 32. Wow. That's why you come
Starting point is 01:30:21 to all fantasy everything, folks. There you go. There you go. That and my fourth pick. Well, we're going to get to your fourth pick, but first, out of respect to our super producer, Isaac K. Lee, we'll be taking a short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life.
Starting point is 01:30:41 You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here. Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages, and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible. You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's science-backed language learning app and it's going to get you talking fast. It's science-backed. What else do you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way to learn a new language.
Starting point is 01:31:20 Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick. They're handcrafted by over 200 language experts. And they're ready to get you talking in three weeks, ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't talk a language. Anyway, talking is the key to really knowing any language. You have to, you got to do it. You got to be saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have tools on the app where you can speak the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they will talk to you and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications
Starting point is 01:31:57 that you're going to need to actually use it. Babbel's tips and tools, like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation. So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key, conversation. You want to know how to get by, right? And like I said, little 10-minute segments, they're perfect for, say, someone like myself, don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes, in and out, boom, you're done. And don't just try a word for word. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, shout out old ladies, alma mater and beyond. They prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college,
Starting point is 01:32:34 which come on, that's a no brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash all fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, with this week,
Starting point is 01:33:03 we want to touch a little bit on self-care routines, some stuff that's non-negotiable. Some stuff like you can't... I got buddies, they can't skip leg day. Myself, my schedule is completely packed out with hanging out with my daughter. You try to pepper in work in there, it's really hard to find the time for those things that I want, that self-care stuff. I like to walk a lot. I know that sounds ridiculous. I don't know what fun means, but I do like walking. I love to skateboard, but it's hard. I got to drive to the park. I got to get warmed up, which takes your boy a gentleman's half hour these days because these gams ain't what they used to be.
Starting point is 01:33:49 But I know that's what makes me happy. And it's hard to make time for it. When you feel like you don't have any time for yourself, it can weigh on you more than anything else. Non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever in that situation. You need to set time, get it like I keep saying, get a new set of ears on it. If you're having a tough time finding time for yourself, if you just talk to someone, you say these things out loud, you will realize that there is time. You can make time for yourself. You just have to prioritize it. It happens. You can talk to someone, get a new set of ears on it, and they will just guide you through the path. Therapy helps with everything. And if you're thinking of starting, go on and get better help with Trey. Give it a shot.
Starting point is 01:34:25 It helps for learning positive coping skills, setting boundaries, all these things that are extremely important. It's all online. It's convenient, flexible. They suit to your schedule. Go on and fill out a brief questionnaire. You get matched with a licensed therapist
Starting point is 01:34:37 and you can switch therapists at any time for zero additional charge. They got your back. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash AllFantasy today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp H-E-L-P dot com slash AllFantasy. Isaac, why don't you, Isaac, your voice is on us.
Starting point is 01:34:56 Why don't you bring us back from break? Okay. Yeah, here we go. And we're back. Welcome back to AllFantasy Everything. Ooh, that was recording on a weekend. I'm Terry Grossman. Ooh, that was recording on a weekend. I'm Terry Grossman. Keep bringing that up. Terry Grossman.
Starting point is 01:35:13 Sorry we're recording on a Saturday, Isaac. No, this is my pleasure. Are you kidding me? Okay, great. I get to hear four professional comedians make comedy? I can't tell if you're... That's the term. That's the term, right? It sounded like you were making fun of us right there.
Starting point is 01:35:24 Yeah, I can't tell if you're us right there i'm legitimately enjoying myself if i go into a bar and i'm like i get to see some like going to bars like oh my god i get to see some professionals make me a beer is that the light are you super tan right now i'm pretty tan right now i've been outside a lot yeah we had two had two nice days in LA. We did. 80s. 80s. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:47 We're just getting there. That's why I'm trying to hit the park. I got to take the boats out. I got to. Tomorrow, I think I'm going to hit the park. Talk about the boats as if they're children. I got to take the kids out. They're not not children.
Starting point is 01:35:59 They're not not children. I get it. Will, we're back to 77 on Tuesday, bro. Tuesday. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, nice. We're getting nice.
Starting point is 01:36:08 81 on Wednesday, Zeke. Oh, fuck. God damn you guys. Coming back. Wednesday. Okay, that's good. I think I fly to Austin on Wednesday. I think I fly to Austin.
Starting point is 01:36:18 We're back. I don't know why I'm talking about that. Sean, it's time for your fourth pick. I'm going to go... I don't know how... I don't know how... I'm going to go fuck myself real quick. I'm going to get out of here. I don't know how common this is.
Starting point is 01:36:35 I heard this in the movie Closer. If you guys have ever seen the movie with Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, it's like it's British, but it's over there. It's Jude Law and Natalie Portman. But. It's sensual. Cliven. Cliven. Clive Owen comes home. Cliven.
Starting point is 01:36:51 It's a play, isn't it? Patrick Marber? Yeah, probably. Before it was a movie, but I'm not that cultured. Anyway, Clive Owen comes home. He's with Julia Roberts. I said that so people would think I was. Let's all be very clear about what happened there. Some of us aren't as thirsty. Immediately, I thought you were I was like oh shit
Starting point is 01:37:05 that's what I said about Dazed and Confused that's a play I think right back but Clive Owen comes home and he's been on the road for a while and he goes to Julie Roberts he's like hey do you fancy a poke so a poke is what I'm taking a slang term for sex I don't know if it's that common,
Starting point is 01:37:26 but it's a passion pick for me, if you will. All right. And I've only heard it in that one movie. I looked it up and like, of course, you can find that it does mean, I mean, you could put the pieces together, but it's such a fun way to say it because it's such a hard thing to broach
Starting point is 01:37:40 when you get home and you want to, but you don't want to be like, you know, you do all the code word where you're like, you want to go, you know't want to be like, you know, you do all the code word where you're like, you want to go in the bedroom for a while or whatever. I'm bad at it. What a fuck. How'd you like the stuff? Who's trying to bust?
Starting point is 01:37:58 How'd you like to go peel some potatoes in the bedroom? That's what the Irish say. Should I crack it open for a real one or what? You want me to let it, let me go make a jiggle. What are we doing? I've been on the road for a while.
Starting point is 01:38:12 You want to empty my scrotum? Yeah, so a poke is a better way to say all that. You want to leave it in? Leave it out. Leave it out. Yeah, I've been staying at the Marriott all week. I'd like to stay at the? Leave it out. Leave it in. Yeah, I've been staying at the Marriott all week. I'd like to stay at the old leave it in, if you know
Starting point is 01:38:29 what I'm talking about. There he goes. Yeah, a poke. A poke? Fancy a poke. Are we going to let it happen? Are we going to let it ride? I think it's fine, yeah. What do I know? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:38:45 Well, you know that it was a play before a movie, so fuck me. Patrick Marver's closer. Oh, De Niro knows too. Holy cow. It's a play. It was a play. Got a good De Niro on you. David, time for your fourth pick. Okay, so this is one
Starting point is 01:39:03 where I got from straight up from Top Boy. I'm using bear for like a lot of like, mine's called Bear Peas. I love it so much. That's sick. You ever heard of that? No. They say it all the time on Top Boy. They just mean lots of. he's got bear this bear that
Starting point is 01:39:27 v-a-r-e so fun and another one can't can't use it i i can't do nothing with it no yeah i it'd be so fun to try to implement some of these without talent like if i go out to my show tonight and just try to just say like whoa there's bear people here. I've got bear homework tonight. I got my one friend that watches Top Boy with me so me and him can do it. We'll text like that, but nobody else. That's alright. You got the inside jokes for sure,
Starting point is 01:39:56 but you want a bear poke? I can't do that when I get off the road. A lot of poke? I think there's a reason that she doesn't want to do it. That's two hairy gay men having sex with each other. A bear poke. That is a thing. Yeah, it's a thing.
Starting point is 01:40:13 We have bears here as well. Fancy a bear poke, isn't it? Fancy a bear poke. Oh, bruv. Bruv, fancy a bear poke? No, bruv. He got bear quid. Yeah. Bear quid also sounds bro. He got bear quid. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:27 Bear quid also sounds sexual. Yeah, bear quid. Bear's good. Bear quid sounds like the dude doing it. Bear is good. He's called bear. Is it like bear? B-A-R-E.
Starting point is 01:40:38 B-A-R-E. Oh, wow. Yeah, man's called bear peas, bro. All kinds of tings. Tings. of tings. Tings. 20 tings. Someone's just jealous of like your stuff
Starting point is 01:40:50 and they just leave it that big. Have you not watched the newest Top Boy? It's bad. I have not watched the newest boy. I feel like I watched Summer House.
Starting point is 01:40:57 Yeah, I think I did. Summer House. There's new shit past that. Little Simpsons on the new shit. Yeah, it's such good acting, too. It's really good acting. Do I need, and this sounds so
Starting point is 01:41:08 whack, but do I need some like Peaky Blinders I had to turn off because I needed subtitles. Would I need subtitles for Top Boy? Not by the end, but I would start with subtitles. I would start with subtitles. You have no idea what they're saying. It could be a good treadmill. You get used to it and then it's just like, oh, Duchesne Man's on Road. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:24 I keep subtitles on for pretty much ever the crown but now it's like i keep i have subtitles on i'm doing a joke about it i have it on even for english shit oh yeah i heard that it helped this is one of those things i don't know where i heard it but once upon a time i heard that it just does help you with reading ability and i i have terrible reading ability so i heard that i mean because you're just constantly reading the whole time and uh so to me i don't see any reason reading though is the thing it like makes me not miss shit because still if i watch like a foreign missing shit exactly i'm like annoyed you know what i mean yeah but it fucks up comedy sometimes
Starting point is 01:41:59 because you're like yeah i'm supposed to wait to hear that part that joke yeah yeah well you need to have like a translator like the way a good comedy show has a great editor where it's like they need to be funny the translator or you know the CC guy needs to be funny too when it happens say it but like do not ruin the joke because sometimes I have both people
Starting point is 01:42:18 what they're saying on screen it's like ah I mean I think Zach used to do that for a while he did subtitling right he did he was out there doing the lord's worth making it funny wow there there excellent pick well time for your fourth pick fourth pick wait oh i didn't do uh this one's another love island exclusive early days i love it oh yes they say early days it's still early days you know i think Oh, yes. They say early days. It's still early days. You know, I think it just means like, even in the beginning of any relationship,
Starting point is 01:42:49 it's like, well, it's still early days. So, you know, we're still like figuring things out. Like the honeymoon period, kind of? Honeymoon period. I think it's just early days of like, they just say it as like the beginning of things. Or like, it's still, we're still in the beginning of our life.
Starting point is 01:43:02 Like, it's still early days. I'm only 20, you know? I've also heard early doors. It it's like it means the same thing and i think it's just because they sound the same and that's how brits get down they're like early dolls early days yeah i mean that's the best part of saying when it just morphs into something like that where it doesn't make any sense and then you trace it backwards and you can you're like oh okay sure a lot of the brit stuff is like based on not a lot of lot of the Brit stuff is like based on, not a lot of it, but a significant amount is like based on Cockney
Starting point is 01:43:28 rhyming slang. Oh, wow. Where they would just say stuff that like rhyme, because it rhymes. Like the whole Austin Powers, like him and his dad, right? Michael Caine and Mike Myers, that whole scene where they're just doing that Cockney slang. She's all sixes and sevens. Oh, wait, I don't know
Starting point is 01:43:44 if anyone's using that one yet. Shit on a tantal. I like that because if somebody says some shit that rhymes, I always automatically believe it and then I have to work backwards. Like they call it stairs, apples, and pears.
Starting point is 01:44:00 Kind of like that kind of stuff. She fell down the apples and pears, mate. Like that kind of stuff. See, that she fell down the apples and pears mate like that kind of that doesn't make any goddamn sense until you trace it back and then it's rad when you know what it means that's great yeah didn't did not didn't out and anyway i'm sorry i'm reading a bunch more of these that's i mean if you look at when you talk and someone's talking about like getting some lettuce or something you're like how does that mean blowjob and that but you're like getting some head head of lettuce you know oh like, how does that mean blowjob? And then, but you're like, getting some head,
Starting point is 01:44:25 head of lettuce, you know? Oh, I would think money. I've never heard of that. I thought money for lettuce too. I thought money. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:31 And I'm like, well, it's great. Did I just make that up? I swear I've heard it in a song, but I'll be using it soon. If I heard that song, you three might've also heard it.
Starting point is 01:44:41 Yeah. I would assume so. Yeah. Man, I'm a lot smarter than I thought. I should give myself more credit. I got to talk to Max
Starting point is 01:44:48 about this tonight when she goes to sleep. I'm going to tell her I'm smarter than I thought. It's pretty early days for her. I would maybe leave it out. She ain't going to remember it, innit?
Starting point is 01:44:59 I'm just using it wrong. Early days is great. I would hear that. I would hear early doors a lot. Like, well, the script's not quite there, but don't worry. It's still early doors. Yeah, I love that. I love that.
Starting point is 01:45:11 That's nice. It's such a fun way to talk. It's like, how do you guys get away with this? It is. Slang is so, yeah, this is the best. This is fun. And that's it. I'm taking, for my fourth pick, I'm taking Knees Up.
Starting point is 01:45:28 Okay. Does anyone know what a Knees Up is? Is it similar to Tits Up? Let me guess. It's not like Tits Up. Knees Up? Knees Up. Taking a shit?
Starting point is 01:45:37 It's not taking a shit. It's not. Is it like an ease up thing? Is it like a calm down thing? It's not. A Knees Up is like when you go, it's like when you and your friends go to the bar for a knees up.
Starting point is 01:45:50 Really? Oh, like you're putting your knees up on the, like you're sitting on the bar. It's a party. It's a lively party or gathering. I don't know the etymology. It could be, yeah, you're putting your knees up on the bar,
Starting point is 01:46:04 but we're like, maybe you end up with your knees up on the bar, but we're like, maybe you end up with your knees up in the air at the end of the day. Cause you're so fucking drunk. Sure. You're on your back. I don't know, but you, James Longman,
Starting point is 01:46:12 shout out to him. He used to organize these knees up on Fridays. Really? Where you go out for a knees up. Like an after work. We'll have the hours. A shin dig, a knees up.
Starting point is 01:46:22 You and your, you and your bruvs, you know, and lady bruvs go out. Yeah. Yeah. You and your bruvs, you know, and lady bruvs go out. You and your bruvs and your lady bruvs. Yeah. Lady bruvs. I want to start using that.
Starting point is 01:46:31 There's a song called Knees Up Mother Brown, which is like a big English pub song. Knees. Okay. Yeah. Knees up, Mother Brown, under the table you must go. Maybe that's what it comes from. Was it? Okay.
Starting point is 01:46:41 How much of the staff were Brits? Like a good chunk of them, right? Enough. Enough. Yeah. what it comes from was it okay how much of the staff were brits like a good chunk of them right enough enough yeah enough for them to like have like an actual like hey we're all british let's go do like this british knees up thing like was there a good happy hour after work that people go or is it like a job a job it would happen every like three months we would do okay every friday thing like nobody does anything every fr in LA. But I'm freaking LA, yeah. If this was New York, you guys would have been out every night. Never. Like here, it was once every three months. It had to be organized.
Starting point is 01:47:11 People had to take Ubers to work. Like it was all that. Yeah, it was a whole thing. Yeah. I worked at a sober show and I got fucked up every night shoot. In New York, at the Chris Gathard show, Chris was famously sober. And yet I would be high out of my mind and wasted by, like, midnight.
Starting point is 01:47:32 Just not talking so nobody knows. What's going on, Will? You don't even say anything. You just hold the pencil up like... Everything. London apparently is like that, too too because it's all public transit places where you can like go get it yeah you can go get well that is the thing like in new york too
Starting point is 01:47:52 it seems like there's bars everywhere so like you're just walking to the subway and there's anywhere you just stop and grab a beer if you want when when you're in london do you feel like everything closes at 11 though the bars, the pubs all do. I did not like that. There's after-hour drinking places you have to go to. But the hour is 11? 11. 11's pretty early. 10 or 11.
Starting point is 01:48:13 That's crazy. I mean, I think they'd be getting in there at like 11 a.m. They start. The morning. Yeah, in the morning. Because that's when football's on. Yeah. It is also, though.
Starting point is 01:48:23 It is like, who says we have to be out until two in the... Obviously, the more washed I get, the more I think about that where it's like, I don't... You feel this weird pressure that you should be out late,
Starting point is 01:48:32 but it's like, no, you can be out until nine or ten and that can be your night. Nine or ten. It's fine. That's crazy. In my experience, nine or ten?
Starting point is 01:48:41 Nine is not even why'd you go out. They don't go home first. That's what I'm saying. That's not in a stand-up world. But even if you don't go, in the world world. In the regular world.
Starting point is 01:48:53 The stand-up world. Why'd you go out? What are you talking about? Because I think they work till five. They go right to the pub. You go for happy hour. You're done at seven with happy hour. A couple more hours, whatever. And then you're, oh, I almost used a term. You're done at seven with happy hour. A couple more hours, whatever. And then you're, oh, I almost used a term.
Starting point is 01:49:07 You're done. And then just go. You know, it doesn't have to, like, you got to work the next morning. I'm saying, like. I think I used that term earlier. But I was like, I used it in the American way. But yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:18 I like our code talk. When I said it in the American way, I was like, ooh, that's a British word. And it's up to the listeners to figure out what I'm talking about. That's right. Time for my final pick. All right. And I am going to bookend my pick of bruv with a synonym
Starting point is 01:49:37 for bruv. I'm taking Giza. I missed that one. That one's Giza's good. He's a decent Giza, isn't he? He's a decent G one's he's a decent geyser he's a proper he's a proper funny geyser that one's so good I love hearing people say geyser man that's great
Starting point is 01:49:55 here it means old guy and over there it's just a dude it's such a fun word this geyser very Guy Ritchie a lot of Guy Ritchie stuff word this geyser very Guy Ritchie a lot of Guy Ritchie stuff they say geyser how did it turn into old people for us
Starting point is 01:50:12 like old geyser I don't know is it a word I know these are all words it sounds stupid but does a geyser mean something but maybe because you know what I feel like I heard old geyser more than I heard geyser and then it's just been shortened does a geezer mean something? But maybe, because you know what? I feel like I heard old geezer more than I heard geezer, and then it's
Starting point is 01:50:28 just been shortened to geezer over here. So maybe it was British, and they were like, well, that geezer is old, so he's an old geezer. But by the time it made its way to America, it's just like, oh, that geezer. I've also now just heard that word enough just in the last 30 seconds to where it's one of those things that sounds weird, like Road
Starting point is 01:50:43 in Tommy Boy or whatever. You know what's weird? You know what's another weird thing and this might be connected. It might have gone from Guy to Geezer or something like that in British, in England, in British, in England. One of the ways they give nicknames is they just take like
Starting point is 01:51:00 the first letter of your name and add as to it. So like David would be Daz, Will would be Waz, Sean, I don't think they really do Saz. I wouldn't be, have anything either. You might be Jazz because of Jordan. That's cool. Daz and
Starting point is 01:51:16 Jazz? Daz, Jazz and Waz, dude. Like Harry Styles and Prince Harry, they would call him Haz like they call him Haz and like there's a playwright what's his name
Starting point is 01:51:31 again with this Baz Luhrmann Baz Luhrmann's one of them yeah Baz his real name is probably like Barry or something I just thought of this on my own and I knew this from knowledge from my own brain but Wayne Rooney was Waza Waza yeah yeah they throw like Z's in there I knew this from knowledge from my own brain but Wayne Rooney was Waza Waza? Yeah
Starting point is 01:51:46 they throw like Z's in there it's not from his own brain Isaac said it Wayne Rooney Waza they just like throw Z's in there and that's like your nickname I like that, that's cool isn't that cool?
Starting point is 01:52:00 Jez Butterworth so that's the guy. Jazz Butterworth. Butterworth. Jazz Butterworth. Jeremy. Famed trumpet player. Trumpet player. So his name's Jeremy and people just call him Jazz. So they'll do Jazz.
Starting point is 01:52:15 Jazz. You know, like the first two letters. Speaking of Peep Show, right? Peep Show. There was a character named Jazz on Peep Show. Yeah, Jazz. So his name was by Jeremy, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:24 Or Jeff or something. I think it was Jeremy. Yeah. The other guy, the non-suit guy. I think his name is Jeremy and they call him Jez. They just throw a Z on there and that's your nickname. Wow. Pretty fun.
Starting point is 01:52:38 Jaws? Jaws. Will, time for your final pick. Oh, my final pick is a normal word, but when said over there they just say it a lot more but it's obviously I feel like we used to say obviously in like elementary school we'd say well obviously this is what I'm doing
Starting point is 01:52:55 and things weren't obvious but over there or at least on all the shows I've seen they'll go well obviously I obviously and they just throw obviously around like that said in the English accent. Obviously. Obviously, it's like early days still. But they say obvious so much
Starting point is 01:53:11 that it's like, you're using in a way that should be corrected. None of the things you're describing are obviously. They're a culture of shame. They would never want anything they say to appear as though they were saying something. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:53:25 I do think maybe that has something to do with like, well, obviously, like everybody knows that. I'm not special. I could never be special. They're including you. Like, you're not. Obviously, we both know how to split a nucleus or whatever. And you're like, yeah, obviously. All kinds of nucleus shit over here.
Starting point is 01:53:41 Obviously. Protons. Obviously. Excellent pick. David, your final pick. This one is... It's another top play. I don't know quite how to explain it,
Starting point is 01:53:53 but they say it like... It's like their version of trapping, but they say it on road. So they're like, man's on road. Or they also call people road man. Okay. And shit. And we say that a lot also
Starting point is 01:54:06 me and mo the point is on road or road man is so fun and they say all the time in that show it sounds so cool man's on road road man's on road yeah men's never been on road before and shit like that it's great time great time on gotta watch top boy this is cool even man's i say It's a great time. Great time. On road. Gotta watch Top Boy. You really do. Mans is cool. Even mans is, I say mans a lot. But yeah, on road. On road's good. On road is like, it sounds so cool whenever they say it on that show.
Starting point is 01:54:35 Sean Jordan, your final pick. This is tough. Alright, I'll just I'll go say I'm proper. I just like things like proper things I know it's a word but can that count with the slang like it's proper whatever I think so
Starting point is 01:54:52 I think it's used as slang he was proper well drunk or whatever it's slang for very right yeah it's not like they're saying that person was properly dressed they were dressed proper he was proper
Starting point is 01:55:06 hammered or whatever I don't want to say other slang terms I know I had another I was like oh on Love Island they always say he's proper yeah they just go together that's the thing like with their slang
Starting point is 01:55:21 like our version would be like yeah it was fucking shit faced and it just sounds so dumb hella very yeah any of those he was hella shit-faced like propamental she's hella pretty there's only one word left right well that's it that was the final pick
Starting point is 01:55:37 Isaac gets a pick after we read that super producer Isaac do you have a pick in British slang yeah I love the word knackered that's what I was love the word knackered. That's what I was going to say. Proper knackered. That's what I was going to say.
Starting point is 01:55:48 Proper knackered. Oh, see, I was going to say pissed. I said pissed. Pissed for drunk and then fit. For drunk, yeah. If they're hot or attractive. Fit's another. Proper fit. Oh, she's proper fit, man.
Starting point is 01:55:57 A fit bird. And bird is another good one, too. I didn't want to be a jerk, but bird is such a good one. Proper fit bird. Wait, did David do the last one no on road on road that's right I wasn't last though
Starting point is 01:56:10 I was last no Sean was last I mean my list was so long gutted for like let down upset oh I was gutted chin wag chin wag is great I was going to bring up cunt. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:28 Cunt is so mean. But cunt is so nice over there. It means nice. It means everything. Can you imagine a world where calling someone a cunt is less offensive than calling them a wanker? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:43 The words they say every day over there yeah the f word that we and even in america anywhere in america i'm like i can't say that but they mean cigarettes it's like yeah yeah there's a joke there's a joke i don't want to say who told me or whose favorite joke on earth it is, but I will say it's so, so there's two, these two brubs are sitting in a pub, right? I'll start at very British. Uh,
Starting point is 01:57:10 and, and, and one of them turns to the other and says, you know something, Henry, you're a cunt. You're a fucking cunt. Your mom thinks you're a cunt.
Starting point is 01:57:20 Your dad thinks you're a cunt. All of your friends think you're a cunt. Your kids think you're a cunt. Your wife thinks you're a cunt. Everyone you meet thinks you're a cunt. Your dad thinks you're a cunt. All your friends think you're a cunt. Your kids think you're a cunt. Your wife thinks you're a cunt. Everyone you meet thinks you're a cunt. When you walk down the street, everyone you see says, look at this cunt. What a fucking cunt. That's a cunt right there. In fact, if they had a contest to determine the biggest cunt in the entire country of England, you'd come in second place. And you know why? Because you're a biggest cunt. In the entire country of England. You'd come in second place. And you know why?
Starting point is 01:57:48 Because you're a fucking cunt. That is funny. That is a funny joke. I think I butchered it. But it's still. It's just like. It seems like the aristocrats. It's crazy that Ellen told that to you.
Starting point is 01:58:01 It was Ellen DeGeneres. Gaffer for boss. Is like DeGeneres. Gaffer for boss is like a good one. Oh, gaffer. I like that. I like jersey for shirt. Just calling a shirt a jersey. Like in the flight of the concords
Starting point is 01:58:14 they're like your favorite jersey. Jumper for sweatshirt. Yeah, they're called drugs. Food. That's also a top one. Food? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Moms get the food.
Starting point is 01:58:25 When something's crazy and you can't believe it, you can say it does my nut in. It does my nut in. I thought you were going to say, oh, my days. Yeah, yeah, that's a great one. I didn't know that at all. Say that again, Isaac. Oh, my days.
Starting point is 01:58:37 Oh, my days. Oh, my days. Oh, my days. Yeah. I always hear, the kids always say that. Do you see that, where they have the british kids eat american food like they'll have them eat taco bell or something like yeah oh my days fam yeah oh my days because they like it right sometimes sometimes they think they're like
Starting point is 01:58:55 oh what is this artificial flavor yeah they don't fuck with the baja blast no i don't either though i can say it's a little extreme i could give it to him I mean it's not disgusting that's too sugary cheeky cheeky is great cheeky is great but then there's like bloody and bollocks rubbish is fun like a rubbish bin
Starting point is 01:59:18 instead of a garbage can is fun naff is great with something corny you watch bluey really only Sean, I guess. Do I watch what? Bluey? Uh-uh. Oh, it's good.
Starting point is 01:59:29 Oh, well, get into it. But it's so good. But they use the same slang sometimes on Bluey. Then I'm like, are Australians? They are just British prisoners, right? Yeah. We're not quite to Bluey yet, but we'll get there. We're like Gabby's dollhouse right now.
Starting point is 01:59:44 Anyway. I'm going to recap and I'm going to do my best. Oh yeah, give it a shot. Oh, you're going all in. Yeah, go on. I'm going to try my best. I'm going to try and go in order. And your best is good enough, brother. Okay. I like the stretch. Alright, bro, don't be a wanker.
Starting point is 01:59:59 Put down the nose bag. Yeah, turn yourself away from the knees up, geezer. Because it's time to recap the draft, innit? We did about an hour and a half of this chat shit, mugged each other off, but it's still early days, obviously. There were all sorts of picks. We went on. We do go on.
Starting point is 02:00:16 Leave it out, all right? Some of us are rather dishy, all right? You pay upwards of 20 quid for listening to this podcast, but it's free ain't it bare words on it mate bare words so whether you're on treadmill or you're up there on road your man's on road
Starting point is 02:00:32 every single pick on this draft was proper mental proper mental and we'll leave you shaking in your trainers dodgy poke. That counts. Also, by the way, Chris D'Elia had some dodgy pokes, didn't he? He sure did.
Starting point is 02:00:56 He didn't. Oh, man. That was good, man. We want to hear yours. Hit us up on All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcasts at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon where you can get bonus content, auction drafts, mailbag episodes
Starting point is 02:01:12 of which we need to record here pretty soon. All these live shows that are coming out. They will all be on the Patreon. All the upcoming live episodes are available on there plus Isaac's Tasteful Nudes, of course well lit. That's right. Well lit Tasteful Nudes, of course, well-lit. That's right. Well-lit Tasteful Nudes.
Starting point is 02:01:27 Three nipples. What did you say? Three nipples. Three? Three? Isaac has three nipples. Why'd you say it like that, Isaac? You're the one with three. You should know. What's happening? That's what the doctor said when Isaac came out. I'm just letting Sean
Starting point is 02:01:44 work himself into a situation and work himself out of that situation. That's all that's happening here. Getting a little dodgy. Shout out to super producer Isaac Lee on the ones and twos. The best hair and show business, baby. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to
Starting point is 02:02:02 Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of Oh! Fantashe Everything. Leave it out! that was a hate gun podcast

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.