All Fantasy Everything - Cover Songs (w/ Sean Jordan, David Gborie, and Amy Miller)
Episode Date: January 25, 2018ALL THE PODCASTS THAT YOU PLANTED, MAMA... IN THE BACKYARD... are featuring comedians Sean Jordan, David Gborie and Amy Miller! Does that work? Is that... does that grammar work? I won't lie.... I'm hungover. Enjoy the podcast, I love you. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that took a bunch of mushrooms and then walked into the forest. And as the trees started to morph from their once static wooden shapes into amorphous blobs of nature.
And then further turning into shapes that echoed the experiences we'd had since last
the time we took mushrooms.
One tree looking like your mother.
One tree resembled a wolf chasing you through the woods.
One tree, a dark specter, continually changing shapes.
And the only thing that begins to take shape from that tree that resembles a specter is two eyes.
And you walk up to it and you reach your hand out.
And as you do that, the tree reaches its hand back to you
you interlock your fingers
stare into its eyes
and see
only yourself
and as the specter grows a mouth
the two of you
say in unison
hey what if we fantasy drafted some of this stuff
you're back
I'm back man that was good I'm back. Man, that was good.
I'm back on the drive over.
I remembered what those used to be.
Took a few weeks.
I was straight up in it.
So, you know, I went off the dome, Jehovah.
Man, I love Spectres.
We're back in business.
I love Spectacles.
Spectres, Spectacles.
Don Spectres.
Ronnie Spectre.
Ronnie Spectre.
Yeah. Inspector Gadget. Inspector Gadget. Inspector Deck. Inspector Deck. Spectacles Dawn Spectors Ronnie Spector Ronnie Spector Yeah
Inspector Gadget
Inspector Gadget
Inspector Deck
Inspector Deck
Morph and Amorphous
I did
I threw a lot of morphs in there
Shout out to the Animorphs
by the way
Oh big shout out to the Animorphs
Great series of children's books
Big shout out to the middle Animorph
that always
Yeah
You know
The one
No longer a boy
not quite a seal
Yeah
The one where if you just isolated it it would look like something from a horror movie.
Yeah, it's like a sight against God in the middle there.
That Island of Dr. Moreau-ass, scary-looking fucking-
Oh, that movie scared the shit out of-
Actually, I don't think I've ever seen that movie.
I think just the trailer scared the shit out of me.
Oh, I haven't even seen the movie or the trailer.
I just remember the book covers.
I remember the trailer for the one with Val Kilmer.
And I remember seeing it, like,
I think, like, at Cutthroat Island or some shit.
Am I crazy?
Is it Marlon Brando?
Oh, wait, are we talking about Island of Dr. Moreau now?
Yeah.
There was another one, though.
Oh, I thought we were talking about Animorphs.
Yeah, Island of Dr. Moreau.
Oh.
Oh.
I thought we were talking about Animorphs.
I didn't know there was a movie.
There probably is.
Iron Dr. Merle, Val Kilmer, Marlon Brando, both are in it.
And that tiny little dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, scary ad.
Scary trailer.
Marlon Brando's terrifying in that.
Yeah.
Neither here nor there.
He apparently was way off his game, too.
Really?
I hear always. Dude, in the score, he'd only do scenes where he was sitting down.
Well, in an empty hot tub in a basement, right?
Well, he did that.
He did dark lit sitting down spaces.
I feel like all my tears will happen.
Is that a way to act?
In the basement.
When you're old Brando it is.
I want to be from the Brando school.
Dude, you should definitely go.
Can I start young?
Can I just start young old Brando?
Now I am only sitting down in the dark on TV.
They're like, we want to bring David in for a, David Borey in for a, who the hell is David Borey?
Oh, you mean young old Brando.
Young old Brando.
Young old Brando Coney.
Yes, yes.
David will do the part, but he has to be in a hang glider naked.
Yeah.
I also want a snifter.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
With warm Coney.
No, with chocolate milk a snifter. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. With warm cognac.
No, with chocolate milk.
That's my angle.
I'm a chocolate milk snifter guy.
That's a scary dude.
I'm way more scared of that guy.
Chocolate milk and a snifter?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's not scared to get made fun of.
Is it done with brandy or is it full bore?
What?
Like, is it?
Do you ever drink chocolate milk with brandy?
Yes. How is that?
No. I didn't even know that was ay? Yes. How is that? No.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
Okay.
Milk and liquor?
It's delicious or hot chocolate.
It's better than eggnog and brandy.
Well, maybe chocolate milk and brandy.
I guess.
Why not milk?
I never thought about it, but it's a joke.
Oh, you can put any liquor in hot chocolate.
Yeah.
You can.
I put vodka in it at the zoo.
You can put liquor in anything and get it done.
I went to Zoo Lights.
What? I went to Zoo Lights. What?
I went to Zoo Lights. They sold hot chocolate.
I got, bought one and put
vodka in it. I love you so
much. It's so tasty.
I bet Rumpelmans would be really good.
Oh, shit.
Wait, in hot chocolate?
I think I could put anything in hot chocolate.
I think, I get that.
Yeah, hot chocolate does seem like...
Or cold chocolate.
Tequila would suck, right?
No.
Gin?
No, I bet you tequila would be good.
That's a real drink.
Tequila and chocolate.
Tequila would be terrible.
Mezcal or tequila with...
No, it's good.
I had it in Mexico with Brie.
Well, I'm going to have to try
now you're set about tonight then.
Actually, Brie was in both of these stories
at the zoo too.
She likes the chocolate.
How often are you getting boozed up at the zoo?
She's just hanging out.
That was the only time so far in LA.
What we got to do is stop judging Amy for being drunk at the zoo and asking ourselves,
why aren't we drunk at the zoo more?
Why aren't we drunk at the zoo?
That's completely correct.
Right?
That is completely correct.
We should go to San Diego for a Saturday.
Go to the big zoo.
And go to the big zoo.
Yes, and SeaWorld.
On the big side of town.
I'm on the big side of, woo! Dude, like a zoo. Go to the big zoo. Go to the big zoo. Yes, and SeaWorld. On the big side of town. I'm on the big side of,
woo!
Dude,
like a zoo.
Go to the big zoo.
Go to the splash zone?
Dog,
I bought a Zoo Tycoon
for the Xbox
and I got super baked
and just built a zoo
and it was one of the most
placid,
wonderful experiences
of my life.
We got,
I want to get in there.
It's fun to come home
and see Ian playing Zoo Tech
and I sit down and watch it like it's TV.
Yeah.
It's way more fun than watching TV.
It's like that movie We Bought a Zoo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just like, check it out, baby elephant.
You're Owen Wilson.
I was showing him baby elephant, dude.
You get to name him.
It's tight.
You could name the baby elephant Owen Wilson if he was so inclined.
That's a good elephant name.
And I am.
I am an elephant.
That's all right.
Wow.
My favorite Ian Carmel bit ever. Wow.. That's all right. Wow. Wow.
My favorite Ian Carmel bit ever. Wow.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
The bit is, it's the one impression I do.
It's you just bought a new boat and you invited your friends, Christopher Walken and Owen
Wilson over to check out your new boat.
And this is my impression.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Wow.
They're nice.
They're supportive friends.
Still the best thing
you've ever done
in your career
if you ask me.
I sure got the Emmy
nomination for that.
By the way,
nominated for an Emmy
in the gym every day.
Jewish.
100% bar mitzvah
and everything.
I heard about this.
Internally?
Yeah.
What state and city
are you from?
Portland, Oregon.
Top of the food chain.
Greatest city in the world.
Wasn't sure.
Yeah.
Thoreau City? Thoreau City. Bridge City. Stump Town. Rip City, Oregon. Top of the food chain. Greatest city in the world. I wasn't sure. Thoreau City?
Thoreau City.
Bridge City.
Stumptown.
Rip City, dude.
Best nickname in the world.
PDX.
PDX?
PD Exposed.
I like that.
Yeah.
PD Exposed?
Getting PD Exposed.
You don't look happy about it, Sean.
What?
No, I'm in.
We've gone too long without talking about Chislik.
And he's starting to get jumpy.
Somebody who's not from South Dakota tweeted to us about Chislik today.
Yeah.
Well, of course, you're spreading the gospel.
Yeah.
I feel like you have done more for Chislik.
At this point, I think it's fair to say you are the number one Chislik ambassador in the world.
Gotta be.
Sponsor me, Chislik.
Chislik.
Coddy Sark.
Is.
You gotta pick one. You gotta pick one, Amy. You gotta pick something. Grab be. Sponsor me, Chislik. Chislik. Cuddy Sark. You gotta pick one.
You gotta pick one, Amy.
You gotta pick something.
Grab something.
We gotta find it.
I'm not just gonna
come out all impulsive
with my food thing.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
You think ours are...
That's a food thing,
Cuddy Sark.
No, he's not impulsive,
but when you put hers...
Actually, I think on this show
my thing was apple butter,
but then David fucking ganked it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. If anybody's become associated was apple butter, but then David fucking ganked it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
If anybody's become
associated with apple butter, it's
Ian off the top Carmel, alright?
Just a whisper.
This is bullshit.
There's a dead horse involved.
The horse died. Clarence died.
Clarence is dead. R.I.P. Clarence.
How many more horses have to die?
Goodbye horses.
Rough story. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. How many more You remember this story have to die Yeah Goodbye The rough story
Would you fuck me
I'd fuck me
I'd fuck me hard
Joining us in the studio today
is Buffalo Bill
from Sioux Falls
South Dakota
Buffalo Bill
by way of Portland, Oregon
True story
Sean S. Jordan
Pink shirt
Sean Patrick Jordan
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter
Yeah what a mind fuck
Young pink shirt
got in the studio
Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan
on the gram. Woo! Yeah.
Woo! Young
light shoes only.
We've been talking about this. I'm a big white shoe guy.
Light shoes only. You wear light shoes.
He won't go dark shoes. You want to have one dark?
I have a pair of black shoes that
I never wear. He can't wear any? Really?
It blows my mind. I think I look stupid in black shoes. It never even occurred to me.
Well, he's a skater. That's some skater shit. Most skaters
wear all black. I mean, well, there's a chunk that
wears all black. Or you're just, like, ready to move to Miami
and... That might be it.
You might be early Florida. That I like for the narrative. I'm always
like seven moves away from living in Miami.
Seven big moves. You need that
straffadora thing. Seven huge things
need to happen. I feel like you're always about 15
minutes from moving to Miami. I'd be in Miami.
The right 15 minutes.
You should buy a shirt and those socks.
Yeah.
You're close right now.
These socks, but I got these in El Paso, dude, at a sock stand.
I didn't, but they look like it is.
They do look like that.
Amy might have got them for me.
You might have bought me these socks.
What do they look like?
No, I've only gotten you themed socks, like pizza and shit like that.
True.
True story.
Beers, I don't know, whatever.
Stuff he likes.
Chis-lick socks.
Chis-lick.
Fresh off the heels of a humiliating graft.
Man, people were so mad about that.
People were nice to you, though, too.
Well, that's almost worse because they're like, man, he's so nice, I don't want to fucking
be super mean to him.
They felt bad for you.
Yeah, I apologize.
Daniel Day-Lewis and Vin Diesel in the same movie.
I mean, you know.
You know?
I had to bounce around a little bit.
I didn't know what I was doing.
This is going to come out next Thursday.
Do you have anything to promote or declare?
No, man.
Not, you know.
Minneapolis, Milwaukee, and Sioux Falls in March with Kyle, but that's a while away.
Keep telling them about it.
I will.
Triumph for return to the studio.
Hey!
Triumph for a trip to Elizabeth, Colorado.
Oh, yeah.
I was in it.
Yeah.
Second from the top of the food chain.
Second greatest city in the world.
We're champions are also born.
I don't claim that.
That's not a statement I have.
Somebody will die.
We're champions are visited.
The GSI on Twitter.
Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram.
David Borey is in the house.
Yes I am. I'm very
happy to be here. Yes. My heart's warm.
Looking nice. Very happy to make fun of Sean's
shirt. Yep. Make fun
of me all you want. We're really good friends.
I'd rather have you here making fun of me than you not
here not making fun of me. Don't you fucking ruin
this for me. And David's got
full pants and a collar. David looks
great. I had a meeting. Oh, dude, you could be
in Miami with Sean. You're on the boat, though. I'm rolled up. Sean's on the land. You're on the boat. David looks great. I had a meeting. Oh, dude, you could be in Miami with Sean.
You're on the boat, though.
I'm rolled up.
Sean's on the land.
You're on the boat.
Oh, no.
Yeah, dude.
You're like, come on out to the boat. Never the twain shall meet.
I'm like, no, man, you come over to the beach.
He's like, no, come to the boat.
I'm like, David.
Why would I go to the beach?
Why would I go to the beach if I have a boat?
He has a mobile beach.
That's all a boat is.
Yeah.
I have all the beaches in the world.
How am I going to get all this glow
from the beach over the boat?
You just get in
up to your hips
and I'll come swoop you. Swim, Broski.
And I'll just hold the coke. Hold the what?
I'll hold the coke up above the water.
Oh, the cocaine.
Why do you think I have a boat?
Never enough coke, though. Is there enough coke on there?
I think there is in Miami.
Do all the coke and then swim out to the boat.
See how long it takes.
Yeah.
See how far you can swim to the boat.
I'll hit Cuba.
I think you should do the whole and then try to part that you're on so much Coke that you
can actually part the seas like Moses.
Yeah.
And just walk to the boat.
And then just walk out there high-fiving fledgling fish.
I bet you somebody in Miami has told people they've done that.
Yeah. I fucking parted the seas last night. I fucking parted the seas, dude.
It was like Moana.
I still haven't seen Moana.
Me either. I gotta get in there.
It's supposed to be the last best movie. Let's get drunk and go see Moana.
You would love it. It's on Netflix.
Also, Coco.
Oh, I gotta see it.
Honestly, for Ian, you, the way I
watched Moana, I got way into my bongs.
Really?
And then I watched Moana, and it was a great, one of my better experiences.
That might be tonight.
Let me pronounce both P's in that word so you know I'm serious.
Tonight.
I know the songs.
You know the songs?
Because I have nieces.
But you've never. I've never seen it. Get out of here. I gotta watch it. You would love it. I know that.. You know the songs? Because I have nieces. But you've never...
I've never seen it.
Get out of here.
I've got to watch it.
You would love it.
I know that.
You're Moana.
I know that.
You're El Sabrani Moana.
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
It's the nicest thing I've ever said about anybody.
In case there's any ambiguity, that is Amy Miller on the other microphone.
We know that.
Amy at Amy Miller Comedy.
No, at Amy Miller, right?
Amy Miller on Twitter. Yeah, Amy Miller
Comedy on Instagram. Milk and
Vodka on Snapchat.
Chocolate and tequila, baby.
Chocolate and tequila on
J-Swipe. Okay, but I forgot
to ask anything to promote.
What's coming up for you? Where can people see you?
I am going to be in February
at some point, I'm headlining the Des Moines Improv,
the Des Moines Funny Bone with Becky Robinson.
Oh, that's a fun pairing.
Des Moines, man.
You guys, I bet.
No, I'm just, I bet you guys have a drink or two.
We might have a couple.
In Des Moines.
In Des Moines.
I've been there, but I was just there like six months ago.
I know you were.
And then in March.
You had to fly home with no sleep straight to where you're sitting.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
That is what happened.
I forgot about that.
Have you ever talked to Becky about the guy who killed Bin Laden?
That's a fun story.
She brought it up on here.
Becky brought it up on this podcast.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Becky slept with a guy who killed Bin Laden?
The guy.
The guy.
Man.
Who shot Osama Bin Laden.
Out of wedlock because he lives on the edge.
On the edge. On the edge.
Does not care.
He has a small ceremony before he sleeps with anyone.
Didn't get married first.
He's like, you know what?
I've done some things.
He killed bin Laden, dude.
God, he's got a green light with God.
I've had sex with a mom, and that's the hardest job.
Yeah, that's true.
Being a mother is the hardest job.
It's harder than killing bin Laden.
So who's the real hero?
I'm impressed, kind of.
Who's the real hero?
And then in March, I'm going to be in Minneapolis for the 10,000 Laughs Fest.
There it is.
Or somewhere in Michigan for the 10,000 Laughs Fest.
Fun.
All right.
He's going to be at the 10,000 Laughs Fest.
That's Minneapolis, I thought.
Look up where that is.
Yeah.
That's Minneapolis.
10,000 likes, Minnesota.
You'll know.
You'll know out there.
You'll know.
Amy Miller, what do you have coming up?
You said next Thursday, right?
This comes out next Thursday.
Okay, then tonight, tomorrow and Saturday, I'm in Minneapolis at the Royal Comedy Theater
headlining.
But this is very important.
Alert, alert.
Sunday, February 11th, Portland, Oregon, headlining Helium Comedy Club.
Oh, shit.
Yes.
With Marcus Coleman and Caitlin Weyerhaeuser opening.
What a lineup.
Oh, shit.
Boom.
What a lineup.
Please come out.
They're so funny.
More fire.
My first time headlining Helium.
More fire.
And if you buy tickets, maybe they'll let me do it again.
Scream, scream, scream, scream, scream.
Aww.
What day is that again?
What day is that again?
Sunday, February 11th.
Sunday, February 11th.
Also, listen to my podcast, Who's Your
God?
Go see the show. A very Jewish
response. Go see the show.
It's a religion podcast.
Maybe listen to our podcast.
If you got a lot of time.
Maybe with instant listening
to Amy's podcast, you buy a second phone and
download us again. Just think about
it. Just think about it. You know, just think about it.
Maybe you do something nice for us first.
Definitely check out Amy's podcast.
I haven't been invited to be on it.
You're going to. Well, I'd love to.
Yeah, I've talked about God
a couple times.
I don't have you on Big Wave Dave.
I had some big jokes
about God early on in stand-up when I met Amy.
Did you write them on the big side of town?
On the big side of town.
You know how you're always free Tuesday afternoons?
Oh, yeah.
That is my bad.
I've never once been free a Tuesday afternoon.
That's your God is Tuesday afternoon.
That is my God.
That's when I'm in Temple.
And by Temple, I mean earning Emmy nominations.
It's the Sabbath.
Deadlifting.
For God's sake, deadlifting.
Do you ever check state penitentiary records
and try to beat them?
Like the Rhode Island state penitentiary?
The only one I know is the second place in South Dakota.
I don't know it, but I know who's got it.
Andy E. Buck.
We've convened here together for the first time.
Amy, feel free to chime in on this,
though you were not there, you were there in spirit,
as you are any time we head back to the Rose City.
Thank you. Yeah, deep in our hearts. we head back to the Rose City. Thank you.
Yeah, deep in our hearts.
The show at Revolution Hall on December 22nd.
The absolute best.
So fun.
So fun.
It was crazy.
We've been waiting to talk about it.
It was crazy.
It was crazy.
That stage is so fun.
And it was just, they were so, everybody was so nice.
They were so nice.
Ian's suit was like a blood orange.
No, what's that color?
I wore a fucking suit.
What do you do?
Like Auburn.
Auburn is not right.
Auburn's not right either.
It's like a burnt sienna.
It was like sort of a Bordeaux.
You know when you have blood dry on your hand?
Yeah.
Ox blood.
It was like dried ox blood.
Ox blood.
It's beautiful.
Bordeaux, Merlot, if we want to throw that out there.
Oh, yeah, Cabernet.
Cabernet, Sauvignon Blanc.
That's white.
Sauvignon Blanc.
Sauvignon Blanc.
I just want to keep saying once.
Sauvignon Blanc.
Sauvignon Blanc.
Pinot Noir.
Sauvignon Blanc.
So many nice people at the show.
That dude brought his kid?
Yes.
Yeah, man.
Shout out to that dude.
Shout out to that kid.
Oh, shout out to Mike Bennett Art that dude. Shout out to Mike Bennett.
Oh, shout out to Mike Bennett.
Oh, so many shout outs.
That was amazing. Walked out of there with a hockey jersey,
two bean burritos with no onions, two bottles
of hot sauce. We had prints of our
faces. It was one of the most
mind-blowing, humbling things.
Have you worn that hockey jersey yet?
No. That hockey jersey.
Wow. Everybody.
I got to go get in a fight.
I got to wear it to a fight.
You can just wear it to Zanku.
Yeah, wear it to Zanku, dude.
I could.
Put that pink shirt underneath.
Zanku.
What pink shirt?
The pink shirt you've been wearing.
The one that says women that I'm wearing?
The last two days I've seen you.
Yeah, dog.
And if you went to that show at Revolution Hall,
it means you're pretty close to Helium Comedy Club.
Nice.
Sunday, February 11th.
Nice.
Now back to the show.
When we sold out Revolution Hall.
Oh yeah, shout out to Green Lebowski.
It was bonkers.
Oh, he's so sweet.
He's so sweet.
And Lennon, right?
Shout out to Lennon.
If you're listening to this, Lennon, Widdip.
Angels.
And there was that whole family who listened to the podcast together.
I know.
That's crazy.
Which is wild to me.
This isn't for kids.
We're talking about doing Molly.
It is.
Don't do Molly kids.
For cool kids.
Yeah.
I've only done Molly once.
Did not care for it.
He didn't like it.
He doesn't like Molly or weed.
He's one of the coolest guys I know.
Be like Sean.
Yeah, be like me.
Yeah, be like Sean.
Except when it comes to drinking.
Black velvet.
Don't do that.
Don't drink.
Then maybe be more like me when it comes to drinking. Black velvet. Don't do that. Don't drink.
Then maybe be more like me when it comes to drinking.
There it is.
Yeah.
When it comes to the metal. When it comes to laughing at your friend's jokes.
Be less like you when it comes to mixing substances.
Don't be like me at all on that.
Crossfaded.
Getting crossfaded.
Yeah.
Be like me when you're crossfaded.
Yes.
Be like David when you're crossfaded.
David can handle being crossfaded.
Or you know what? Be yourself. And you're going to be the best thing in the world when you're crossfaded. David can handle being crossfaded. Or you know what?
Be yourself, and you're going to be the best thing in the world.
You're going to be all snowflakes.
Don't do drugs.
You know, do drugs in moderation.
Do drugs.
We can't be crazy.
Give drugs while we're going to live life.
We're alive to not live all of a sudden.
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much effing room.
Pardon my French.
Also, shout out to the god No Hard Felines on Instagram,
who, a.k.a. Stephen Owens in Reno, Nevada.
Sure.
Biggest little city in the world.
Biggest little city in the world.
Shout out to the Bucket of Blood Saloon in Virginia City,
right outside of Reno.
Shout out to Jen Allen.
Shout out to David Hansberger.
Shout out to David Hansberger.
Reno native.
But he made us a dope new logo that might, god damn it,
become the new All Fantasy Everything logo. It is a pretty cool logo. It's a dope new logo that might, goddammit, become the new All Fantasy Everything logo.
It is a pretty cool logo.
It's a pretty cool logo.
I had him colorize it and work up some alternate backgrounds.
That is so professional the way you said that.
The three of us are going to have a little powwow after this.
Oh, man.
Take a look.
I like the idea that you were like, I had him colorize it.
Had him make up a couple mock-ups.
Yeah.
The way I described it
sounds way more like
flash drives were exchanged.
It was just
an Instagram message
and he did all the work.
You know what?
Shout out to Scott Heisel
in the hospital
with a submassive
pulmonary embolism.
Yes,
that we gave him
the three of us.
The four of us actually.
Amy was there too.
We gave him an embolism.
We gave it to him.
Get better. Thoughts are with you. Sorry. We didn't know what that was. gave him an embolism. We gave it to him. Get better.
Thoughts are in it.
Sorry.
We didn't know what that was.
We thought an embolism was sort of an Italian wedding cookie.
I thought it was a jewel.
I thought it was a chain.
A precious jewel.
What do you mean somebody tried to steal your embolism?
Where is it at?
Show me.
You're out here snatching embolisms?
They're at the tennis courts?
Let's bob up.
I'm going to call fucking states.
Okay, you got your embolism.
Did he get your chain, though?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to call males. We're going to get you got your embolism did he get your chain though yeah yeah yeah
I'm gonna call nails
we'll get you a new embolism
embolism
I got a guy
I'm gonna call punk rock sausage face
I'm gonna call chicken salad sandwich face
nails
all of them
I'm gonna call karate pants
I'm gonna call Jeff the awesome possum wassum
Dan the man
Dan the man Stan Tan
oh Suzanne
Suzanne Saran Dan the man scandalous r Man Stanton. Oh, Suzanne Saran.
Scandalous Randallus with a sock-tandalous.
There's two of them.
Scandalous Randallus with a sock-tandalous
and Suzanne Saran, Dan the Man Stanton.
What's the other one?
I feel like you just put a spell on me.
What about Sean the Dick?
Is your dude name Sean the Dick?
No, this dude I used to work with.
What's up?
My name's Show Him the Dick.
Hey, dude, we're having an apartment party.
Not a house party, an apartment party.
Show Him the Dick's gonna come over.
You are gone.
But we were talking about how,
because we were drafting something to do with Goodfellas.
Movie quotes, right?
And I drafted the,
you lie to match, you blow the joint thing
from Goodfellas.
And then I referenced how Jay-Z has that
like, now he's gotta come up with Jay-Z's money
every week, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
From whatever album that was. Frenderfo or whatever.
Yeah, and I looked
it up on the internet to see who
quoted it, and it was a guy
named Paynen Da Ass.
Oh, the Puerto Rican kid!
Yes, I knew you'd know this! Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah i feel like that's crazy that i did
i do know that guy yeah he was he was a pain in the ass yeah he was really irritated is gonna
join us for brunch cocktails yeah he's in the i think he's in that rockefeller documentary but
yeah he is wildly irritating.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they let him hang out anyway.
Gave him a nickname.
Yeah, he even got a Rockefeller jacket.
Pain in the ass.
Pain in the ass.
No chain, but he got the jacket.
Pain in the ass.
Anyway, that show was amazing.
When Sean introduced you, because you were surprised.
You were the surprise guest, David.
Yeah.
So when Sean introduced you, he did it by saying, you also know him as Cool Guy Jokes,
or you also know him as the G.S.
Island on Twitter.
And the audience was floated.
It was crazy.
That's so cute.
I feel warm right now.
Right?
I'm thinking about it.
That warms my heart.
It is nuts.
It was so nice.
The fact that there was 800 of you there, 200 of you listened to AFE, or 600 of you
listened to All Fantasy Everything.
The other 200 were Carmels.
The play was song. Listen, you had fans before. of you listen to AFE and the other, or 600 of you listen to All Fantasy Everything. The other 200 were Carmel's.
The Clarence song.
You had fans before.
They were sitting right there,
dead center,
and all I could see was Bear's hair.
I'm just like,
there it is.
Yes, my brother's hair
is wild.
He's so dope.
We were,
the fam was drunker
than we were by the time.
Oh, I loved it.
It was great.
St. Sue had a buzz on.
She just held court.
St. Sue was out there,
had a couple glasses of wine,
and was holding court out there.
She definitely introduced me to some ladies.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was like,
I told them I would introduce you.
Yeah.
I was like, hello.
She was trying to get you to settle down
with some nurses in the Pacific Northwest.
People work at night shifts.
And you would.
Of course you would.
Laura was next to me
looking furious.
There were these girls
hitting on me pretty hard.
And she came over
and I was like,
you jealous?
She's like,
I mean, I'm not thrilled.
Very honest.
And then she laughed
and it was all fun and games.
It was that end part
when we were out
just talking to everybody.
That's one of the craziest like 20 minutes of my whole.
Like we would have to like converge to take a picture.
It was an hour maybe.
It was like not.
Wasn't it an hour?
It felt like 20 minutes.
We were out there literally for like an hour because like we had to get rushed to the after
party afterwards where they were like not going to let us in.
Turns out that would have been a good thing.
Yeah.
First after party not so great.
Second one.
Second after party though. Timeless. Second after party, though.
Your boy was a monster on Buck Hunter.
Timeless. I don't know what happened.
Me and Shane Brendan, and I was
in there.
You were in the pocket, as they say.
I was Buck Hunting like I never Buck Hunted.
I was playing pool like I was Vince from Color of Money.
Just had the cue behind my neck walking around
singing Werewolf. I was in the pocket, too, because that's where I kept
the cocaine.
And then later you were out of
pocket. Yeah, later I was out of pocket. I was in the
pocket, then I was in the bathroom.
Five or six painfully obvious
handoffs later, there we all were.
We were fucking
handing cocaine back and forth like we were middle
schoolers running the option. I feel like I
missed out. I had a bunch of tater tots. Yeah, schoolers running the option. I feel like I missed out. So fun.
I had a bunch of,
I feel like I had
a bunch of tater tots.
Yeah, well,
that was that too.
I was up there
at the bar
making sure there were
tater tots,
making sure there were
hot dog bites.
And by cocaine,
we didn't do any cocaine, mom.
A lot of hot dog bites.
He means tater tots, too.
Yeah, I mean,
tater tots.
Yeah, every time I eat
tater tots,
I'm up till like
eight in the morning.
It's astonishing. I don't have to explain away cocaine
to someone who wore that many shoulder pads in the 80s.
You know you did, Mom.
She had to wear them to saint practice every day.
Saint.
We love you, Mom.
That Beaverton Coke cannot be good.
Well,
I'll tell you.
It's like pizza, baby. It's all good. Si. I'll tell you. It's like pizza, baby.
It's all good.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
It's like pizza with nothing, like baked bread.
Yeah.
That's kind of cocaine.
That's because it's flour.
It's the flour they sprinkle on the dough.
They bag it up.
They sell it.
Bag it up.
Still gets it.
Bag it up.
So just thank you.
I mean, it was such a fun night.
It was such a fun show.
Oh, man. such a fun night. It was such a fun show. Oh, man.
The crowd was amazing.
And we're going to try, I think, in the coming year to find some times to go visit some of these other cities.
We're already in talks with some people.
Denver.
Am I allowed to say stuff?
We're going to make Denver happen at some point for sure.
Yeah, I think Denver, Steph, and Austin.
Do the podcast or just stand up?
I think a little bit of both.
Yeah, you got to.
A little from Columbia. It's what the people want, Ian. It's what the people want. A little bit of I think a little bit of both. Yeah, you got to. A little from Columbia.
It's what the people want, Ian.
It's what the people want.
A little bit of milk,
a little bit of vodka.
Quit your job.
Go on the road.
I would love to.
I'll see if I can take
a sabbatical.
Maybe a radical sabbatical.
I just got bumped up
to a senior rep today
so I wouldn't mean
to talk to you bros.
I'm starting to work
16 hour days.
That's true.
This is my last appearance
on the show
so we should have
a real good time.
This is Sean's last appearance on All Fantasy Everything.
I now am a full-time email answer.
His name is Todd now.
A lot of chinos.
Pink shirts.
Chino XL and chinos.
Both of them.
Double chinos.
I listen to Chino XL on my way to my job.
It gets me hyped.
Listen, this may be the longest we've ever gone into the podcast.
Oh, we have not even started.
Marissa, how far are we in?
It's about 30 minutes.
It's not crazy.
Well, what are we drafting now that we bring it up?
Oh, great question.
Today, we are drafting cover songs.
Oh, I got to do one more shout out first real quick.
Two more shout outs.
Shout out to Bert Kreischer, the machine man.
Thank you for,
he says so many nice things
about us on his show.
Oh man,
that is nice.
And like,
it's just,
it really means the world to us.
He was bartending,
like he was at Helium
and they had closed
one of the bars
and he was like,
I'll fucking hop back.
So he was hopping back there
serving people drinks
so they could drink more.
He's amazing.
Yeah,
he's a rad dude.
He's a rad dude
and it's just,
it really means,
if you,
he listens to some of these,
if you listen to this one, thank you, man.
We really appreciate that.
Birdie.
Second shout out, Katie Nolan again.
Yeah, I saw people on Twitter were like, thanks, Katie Nolan.
Katie Nolan went on.
I was listening to it on the way over.
She went on the Sports Illustrated media podcast and was on there and was saying how this podcast
was a big inspiration for her when she was going to start her
podcast with ESPN
which is fucking amazing because I've been a
fan of hers since I first found out about her
on like Bill Simmons' podcast like
five years ago so for her to be
like into what we do is fucking sincerely
so dope. I'm thrilled about it.
We're huge fans of you so thank you
thank you for listening. Let's all kiss.
Yeah we're all gonna kiss. This has been so heartwarming.
That's what we do. Instead of rock, paper, scissors, we just
rock, paper, make the pun. We'll finger each other and just
yell, PDX, PDX.
I mean, I'm in. As long as we're
chaining PDX, I'll do anything.
That is true.
Dennis the Menace.
Soup all stuff up.
Also, if you say anything negative about it, you show up within seconds.
It's crazy.
I think you have a Google alert for my Twitter.
I don't, but every now and then,
Amy will talk shit about Portland on Twitter,
and it's like right when I'm reading Twitter.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
That city that gave you so much, how dare you?
I'm thinking about going back.
Oh, no.
Well, if you do, I mean.
No, I'm not.
Good. I'm going to be doing Blow with Sue any day back. Oh, no. No. Well, if you do, I mean. No, I'm not. Good.
I'm going to be doing Blow with Sue any day now.
Yeah, yeah.
Just to be clear.
Also, if you go back, what's going to happen to that pool?
Ooh.
I know.
I'm not going to know anybody who has access to it.
Joe DeRosa.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That is true.
And Vince.
Oh, Vince who?
The kitty.
The little black cat.
Oh, the kitty.
Today we are drafting cover songs. No, I was talking about a person, but go on The kitty. The little black cat. Oh, the kitty.
Today we are drafting cover songs.
No, I was talking about a person, but go on.
Okay, Vince Wilfork, the defensive tackle. We are drafting cover songs.
Are you going to talk about why this was a weird topic for you guys now?
Or once we get into the podcast?
Yeah, bring it up.
This is really interesting.
In the genre of hip hop, it's very...
Sampling.
What's a sample? What's a cover? What's a remix? I have a pretty clear idea. It's the genre of hip hop. Yes. Yes. It's very. Sampling. What's a sample?
What's a cover?
What's a remix?
I have a pretty clear idea.
It's a definition of pornography.
I know it when I see it.
Yeah.
I think there's a gray area because, and well.
I mean, I got some gray areas on my list.
We'll get into it.
We'll get into it.
I don't know if I should say a song.
We'll case by case basis it.
So that's what was bugging you.
That's not, well, that's fun.
That's fun stuff.
Yeah.
It's hard to know what's a sample and what's a cover. Because some, well, that's fun. That's fun stuff. Yeah.
It's hard to know what's a sample and what's a cover.
Because some, well, okay.
Yeah, we'll just get into it.
We'll just get into it. We'll get into it.
We'll let you know.
What's RPS?
That's what I'm calling it now?
If the one example that I had doesn't come up, we'll talk about it at the end.
But I threw something out that I was like, this is one of my favorite covers.
And Adam said, that's stupid.
Don't say that on the show.
Oh, I think you can say it.
He's a sweetheart.
He's a supportive boyfriend.
Shout out to Adam.
I saw him at work.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, big shots to Adam.
I should say it?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
I won't say it.
I should draft it.
Okay.
So the way we determine the draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors
played between the three of you.
That or we could try to say Laker Girls the creepiest.
Laker Girls.
Oh, yeah, I like that.
Laker Girls.
Whoa, that's a new take.
Laker Girls.
Oh, those are all very creepy.
Damn.
It's all tied, so we've got to go.
It's hard to have a child's voice.
Yeah, it must be.
Laker Girls.
Laker Girls. Laker Girls.aker girls Laker girls
Come out and play
I got the creepiest one
Like a couple weeks ago
And Marissa hated it
It was
Laker girls
No she still doesn't like it
Oh it sounds like you're coming
Marissa moved back to Canada
That's crazy
She's gonna come back and left
Bye Marissa
I'm at the keys now
It's crazy
I don't like this
This takes me to where I don't want to go
I know it's a bad place
Laker girls I don't want this. This takes me to where I don't want to go. I know. It's a bad place.
A rollicking game of rock. Maybe kick it.
I don't want it anymore.
Paper scissors.
Rock, paper, scissors.
Okay.
Play between the three of you.
Otherwise, we'll be here until 11 o'clock for real.
We throw on a shoot, so here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
All different.
Oh, all different.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
I win.
Sean Jordan wins.
Even though you both crushed me, I win.
Sean Jordan won two in a row for you.
Hey, why did you win?
Because I'm the odd man out.
He threw a scissor.
Oh, okay.
Those are dumb rules.
Well, I mean, we're going to, you know, for God's sake.
Sean Jordan, before you determine the order of the draft, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft.
Sure.
And what is that?
What is a serpentine draft? I just sit there. You know, I don't know what it is a serpentine draft sure and what is that what is a serpentine i just sit there
you know i don't know what it is it's actually if you've ever seen uh that non-gay nature
what'd you say what the fuck did you say it's like an s yeah
well fuck me avery's not here to fucking play around well god damn it yeah it's like a whole
bunch of s's oh you do a thing for a while, right?
Oh, you like cake without frosting.
I understand.
We've all got shows.
I just eat the ramen without the sauce on it.
So yeah, it's like an S.
Without the sauce.
What is a serpentine draft like?
Like if you have seen that Naughty by Nature video, Hip Hop Array,
and they kind of wave their hands sort of back and forth.
And they're going like, hey, ho, serpentine. It just kind of goes back hands sort of back and forth. Hey. Oh.
Serpentine.
It just kind of goes back and forth. Just to give you like a mental.
Like a trash.
Yeah.
Like a young trash.
Like it's only a serpentine draft if you don't have a shirt on, which none of us do, and
you're wearing a chain with a padlock on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like all of us are.
And if you won't kiss heinies in the 90s.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
It's like how the ladies dance in Pumps and a Bump.
Oh, Pumps and a Bump.
I remember Arsenio Hall saying,
he saw the Pumps and a Bump video,
he goes, well, that's why they call him Hammer.
Because you can see just a huge dick in his thong.
It's so big, dude.
It's huge.
Serpentine, I would say.
It is a serpentine.
Is that a lot of the running man?
Was showing off his thong?
He could probably do the type,
the way he could do
the typewriter thing.
I bet he just like
threw the weight
of his dick to the left.
It's inertia.
Yeah.
It's inertia.
It carries,
the dickhead carries.
He had to,
he had to wear.
Oh my God,
it's just like a typewriter.
He's collecting himself.
And then when he stops,
ding.
Ding.
Like an anchor dragging
across the ground.
Swivels his hips the other way.
I gotta get a bigger dick just for the dance move.
He invented those pants so he could have room.
Because of his huge dick.
Yeah.
The round pants, yeah.
He can wear a regular pant.
It's really a disability if you think about it for him.
Poor guy.
It makes so much more sense now that I think about Hammer having a huge hog.
It is a disability.
All the racehorses.
It's disgusting.
Yeah, he was just, that's how you live when you got a giant.
So giving. He thought the money was going to be there forever because, that's how you live when you got a giant. So giving.
He thought the money was going to be there forever because God gave him a big dick.
Yeah, I got a two-foot dick.
Why wouldn't I be able to live in a mansion?
Is it a blessing?
What, a two-foot?
Is it a blessing?
What, not a two-foot dick.
Maybe a one-foot dick.
It's not a curse.
Something in the middle.
Something.
It's a gray area.
I think it's good.
Yeah.
And that's the bottom line.
Marissa's smiling, so we know what's going on.
It's exactly what we thought it was.
So here's the order.
Yeah.
I'm going to put Amy first.
Damn it!
Because I want to give you the opportunity to pick the song that I think you're going to pick.
We all know what she's going to pick first.
I'm being a gentleman about this.
So that's what I'm doing.
Ian's second, I'm third, David's fourth.
Whoa.
What if I just threw a wrench in it
and didn't do what you thought
I was gonna do?
You might.
I know exactly.
Okay, yeah, do that then.
You suck like that, so you might.
That's what he deserves after that.
Why are you yelling at me?
I'm not.
David started yelling.
I got all hyped up.
Sean's shooting two Uzis at the same time
and it's spelling out 666 on the roof.
It's crazy.
Twin desert eagles,
like John Leguizamo and Romeo and Juliet.
Yeah, yeah, with the beautiful emblems on the end of it.
Yeah, with the emblemisms.
His pants are on fire.
The emblemisms.
Emblemisms.
Yo, somebody took your emblemism.
Not the chain, though.
Took in like a desert eagle to have it engraved
and just laid on the counter like, listen, I'd like a
DeBloom embolism engraved right on the
side of this. But your finger's like
oddly on the trigger, so they're like, sure.
They would figure out what emblemism meant.
We'll put a DeBloom emblemism on there.
DeBloom?
Amy Miller, you have the
first pick in the cover song, All Fantasy
Everything Draft, and with that pick, you made the Earth sick.
I really appreciate this, Sean,
because I would have been filled with rage and heartbreak
had anyone else chosen it.
I'm sad that I'm so predictable.
I was going to take it.
I knew that you would.
I was totally going to take it.
So was I.
Okay.
Imagine just a heavy one drum beat.
All right.
Linda!
God damn it.
Damn it.
I love you.
Wrote it down.
So one of my favorite things about that is I saw Dolly sing that song one time.
It's her song, dog.
Well, she comes out.
You're going to let me finish any story?
You're just going to cut me off like I'm going to be mean to Dolly?
Amy also, no shirt on.
Annie Miller.
Put a shirt on, Annie Miller.
Or bra.
No shirt.
No bra.
Loose leaf dicks.
I'm flapping in the wind.
Two swords, both in the same hand.
The other hand is flipping a coin deciding Sean's fate.
Go ahead.
If he dies, he dies.
Dolly came out on country TV and she started singing that song and then she stopped.
She said to someone and she's like, it's my song and I know that Whitney might have sang it a little better, but it's my goddamn song.
And then she just absolutely killed the song.
I would bet there's like 30% of people listening to this that don't know that that is a Dolly Parton song.
For sure.
Because it comes up all the time in my life. I didn't know that that is a Dolly Parton song because it comes
up all the time in my life but she waited okay want a couple fun facts yeah quick I'll do them
quick number one she waited to give it to the right person so Elvis tried to buy it but he
wanted 50 of the rights but it made and she said no she said no for decades because that song is
like from I don't know, mid-70s.
It was in the best little whorehouse in Texas.
She sang it to Burt Reynolds when she had to move out of the whorehouse.
It's very sad.
All the whores were homeless.
It's a long story.
Burt Reynolds is a cop.
Oh, you should come over and watch it.
We have it on DVD on VHS.
Let's do it this weekend.
And so she waited and she sold it to Whitney.
Of course, it was perfect.
She made a trillion dollars.
Second fun fact, she wrote it the same night she wrote Jolene.
What?
I know.
What happened that night?
Well, this is the real.
I've never had such an emotional night.
I know.
The real story is that she was, like, out on tour.
A bunch of people were out partying.
She was like, I'm not, well, it's out partying. She was like, I'm not.
Well, it's a little sad.
She's like, I'm not supposed to really drink right now because my manager says I need to lose weight.
You know, big fat Dolly Parton.
So she stayed in.
She was like, I'm just going to write in this hotel room.
And she wrote, Jolene, I will always love you in the same fucking night.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Those are my absolute favorite songs.
So anytime you think you wrote your best
closer,
there's something
else in ya.
I don't even have a
closer.
I just yell for a while
until everybody leaves.
Also,
I just ruined Jolene
for the rest of the draft,
but that's okay.
White Stripes,
great,
sorry.
You weren't gonna say it.
I guess people didn't
cover it,
but yeah,
but still,
I mean,
yeah.
It's worth it.
That story eclipses
anyone picking that.
And the bodyguard,
oh my God.
I love that movie, and it god. I love that movie.
And it's probably because
of that song.
Should stay, I would
only be
in your way.
So I'll go,
but I know.
You ever see someone fucking chew on that at karaoke and you're like, come on.
You can pick the Dolly Parton version at karaoke, which is a smart move because Whitney, nobody should sing any Whitney at karaoke.
Nobody should ever sing a Whitney song.
It's a high hurdle to jump.
Unless you're like a very slight high-pitched voice drag queen, don't try it. So I could do it.
Yeah, of course.
How will I know if he really
loves me?
How will I know?
And I
in Carmel
will always
be a Jew.
100% permits and everything.
How much she holds back at the beginning of that song,
sort of that trembling, really sets up.
It makes my heart shake.
When she does unload, it's just like you really appreciate her
taking you on that journey.
Oh, third fun fact.
Do you know why she wrote it?
No.
She wrote it to Porter Wagner when she was like, I'm leaving.
We're not going to work together anymore because I'm obviously like your cash cow, but we don't
get along.
And this is a song I wrote for you to say peace out.
Wow.
A lot of listeners just hearing the term Porter Wagner for the first time.
Yeah.
Oh, the suits.
Yeah.
Does she, do you think she still loves him?
Yes.
Always.
She always did.
When he died, she paid off all his debts.
So his kids wouldn't have to?
I guess.
Sounds cool, eh, Mom?
Yeah.
mom.
Do you prefer, I know you're the biggest Dolly Parton fan
I know for sure.
Do you prefer the Whitney Houston one or the Dolly Parton version?
I actually do prefer the Whitney
one because that's more
of like my childhood. You hear
it more often. You hear it way more often.
I didn't know until
in my 20s when I found out it was a hear it way more often. Yeah. I didn't know until definitely,
I was in my 20s
when I found out
it was a Dolly Parton song.
I love the Dolly version
that's associated
with Best Little Whorehouse
in Texas
and that part of the movie
always makes me cry.
But yeah, Whitney.
I mean, she made it better,
which Dolly even says.
She made it better.
Can we watch that movie
tomorrow night?
Oh yeah.
I'll bring some beers.
Oh yeah, actually, Adam's going to a wrestling thing. I'll bring some beers. Oh, yeah.
Actually, Adam's going to a wrestling thing.
So, yeah, you should come over and watch.
But he hasn't seen best.
We'll talk about this off air.
I'm fine with it being on our conversation.
I'm saying we bring Ian around.
We get some charcuterie.
We have a best little whorehouse.
God damn, Dave.
You missed on New Year's Eve.
I saw the pictures.
I took.
Did I take a. I think I put it on the gram.
Yeah, there was a picture on the gram.
It was sick.
I was pissed.
Entertaining.
We'll do it again in February.
I was pissed.
I was at a VIP bungalow and I was pissed.
I was like, oh, bottle service.
Fucking cool.
Where's the meat?
Cheese plate.
Meat.
I would love an instagram filter
where you just don't see like too many of your close friends together doing one thing
yeah if it's someone like success or like oh i'm on conan tonight or whatever like i love that
but like just all your friends in a room eating me the inner circle i was at the bottle service
i made it you You were thriving.
Yeah, man.
Was I?
But what we really learned is the thrive is something different than you think.
Middle sweet memories.
That is all I'm taking with me.
Just like, ladies and gentlemen, not Whitney Houston in studio.
I busted out the Johnny Walker blue.
Oh, shit.
Anyone who was in the kitchen, I was like, we're going to, you know.
Yeah.
Damn it.
The special occasion was they were near me when I wanted some.
It was good.
It was tight.
We'll do it again.
We'll do it again in February.
It's on the calendar.
Marissa's going to come.
She's going to do the Batman voice the whole time.
It's going to be great.
Can I come?
Where's the Johnny
Bluto? Where were you on
New Year's? Thanks. I was in Austin. Yeah, that's
what I thought. Yeah, you would have
been there. You would have been there for sure. You would have been there.
Amy Miller, you took I Will
Always Love You with your first pick.
And I will. And I will always
love you. And I will always love the fact
that it's time for me to make my first pick.
Uh-huh. And with my first pick, I have to's time for me to make my first pick.
And with my first pick, I have to take one of the other Pantheon songs.
Right.
I recently heard there was a major chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord.
You don't believe in music, do you?
Yeah.
That's a great one. It goes like this.
The fourth, the fifth.
The minor chord, the major lyre.
The broken king composing.
Hallelujah.
Are you specifying who's performing it?
Oh, yeah.
I'm taking the fucking Jeff Buckley version.
Oh, okay.
I was going to take the Shrek version.
Who's the other?
Because Rufus Wainwright also.
Yeah, Rufus Wainwright is the one I'm thinking of.
No, I think you're thinking of the Jeff Buckley one.
Oh, no, I'm thinking of the Jeff Buckleyley, but I was trying to think of the other name.
That's one of the few songs that I for real feel in my dick.
Like, I pretend like that on other songs?
Do you keep your heart down there?
I don't know what I keep down there anymore.
It's confusing.
A lot of stuff is down there.
See, Carmel knows some nurses in Portland who can find out.
But no, that song is like, for real, when he does, like, I just like, the first, it's
a cold and it's a broken, you know how, you know when it's just like, ugh, like, ugh,
this is, and I know there are women listening too, and I hope this is how you feel about
your vagina, but where you're just like, this is my dick!
Like, that's the only way I can explain how it makes me feel.
You feel it
dripping down your
D'Angelo's
yeah
and I don't even have
D'Angelo's
might have blown out
I got blown out
D'Angelo's
they're under there baby
they're under there
but either way
that's yeah
I feel it in my wiener
if you walk up to a girl
it's a cold
and it's a broken
hallelujah
oh it fucking it's such a hallelujah. Oh, it fucking.
It's such a beautiful song.
I want to rip out my skeleton and dance with it.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Well, and the rest of that album was so incredible.
And then he fucking killed himself.
Yeah.
He just like heartbreak, heartbreak all around.
What else are you going to do?
Jump in the Mississippi River with his boots on.
We talked about him a second ago.
I don't know how D'Angelo is still living after that video.
No.
I shot myself right in the fucking head.
Yeah.
That's it?
As soon as I saw it.
As soon as I saw myself twisting on that pedestal, Coco Brown God, I would have killed myself.
It was never going to get better than that.
It was never going to get better for you.
Peeking that early is also a curse.
Yeah, that's an issue.
Sounds like this Revolution Hall show was pretty good, David.
That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me.
Time to check out.
I just want you to roll up to a girl at a bar and check,
listen, my D'Angelo's are a little blown out.
What do you think?
And you slide over a vodka milk.
My D'Angelo's are blown out, but God damn it, I love you.
But I'll be there.
I'm right.
We're writing.
We're writing my first rom-com, guys.
Thank you.
And I don't have a savings account.
You know Hallelujah is a good song because it is absolutely cliche at this point.
And it's been used in so many things.
And still, when you hear it, you feel it down in your genitals.
I would want it.
I would want it sang at my funeral.
Right?
Like by my best singing friend.
Yeah, I'll do it.
I'll absolutely do it.
Thank you for asking.
I'll be there.
Honestly, I hope I'm not around anymore.
But yeah, if I am, I'll do it.
If I'm not on the road, I'll...
Shane's a classically trained opera
singer. You think he could...
It's a curtain, it's a broken
hallelujah.
You gotta put a Texas accent on it.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Love you, Shane.
We love you, Shane.
It's not a sound you hear at night It's not someone who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hall
Hallelujah
Oh great
They're making fun of me singing on All Fantasy Everything again
Well fuck you and
fuck you too and fuck you, Amy.
I don't even know you, Marissa, and
fuck you too.
You godless Jezebel.
Oh, I love him so much.
God. Yeah, so Hallelujah.
It's just, it's wonderful. There's
other great versions of it. John Cale recorded one. Shrek. Shrek. It's just, it's wonderful. There's other great versions of it.
John Cale recorded one.
Shrek.
Shrek, as we know, recorded one.
That's right.
Rufus Wainwright, as mentioned earlier.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
If you want to hear Rufus Wainwright sing it, that's a great version.
My stepdad likes to hear Rufus Wainwright sing it quite a bit.
Does he?
In the car sometimes.
Does your stepdad know about Rufus Wainwright's private life?
My stepdad, I don't think, cares. I don't know that I know about Rufus Wainwright's private life? My stepdad, I don't think, cares.
I don't know that I know about Rufus's private
life. Crack the omelet.
Just a gay man.
And from the Wainwright family.
Of Martha.
Loudon?
I pronounce it Loodon.
Loodon!
Let me put some
Cajun stank on it
Oh yeah
Ludov
We're right
There's a YouTube video
Of Rufus bringing
Like 600 people
Into an empty barn
To sing Hallelujah together
It's amazing
Oh I cry
Boy do I cry
I might be watching that
Right before I fall asleep
Tonight
That's a good move
Yeah
Having one of those
Late night cries
I like those tear jerk. I've been trying to
get my toes into that. Yeah.
Oh, I have a playlist I'll send you. Oh, dude.
Yeah, I want that.
Yeah, there's some bangers that'll do it.
What's your next pick?
Speaking of bangers, what's your first
banger, baby?
Strumming my pain with his fingers.
One time.
Singing my life with his words.
Two times.
Killing me softly with his song.
Killing me softly.
We used to be number 10.
Now we're pulling one.
You gotta do like that fucking sitar or whatever.
So when I was looking that up,
just so we're clear,
Killing Me Softly by the Fugees.
When I was looking it up today,
I was like,
for some reason I just thought it was Lauryn Hill, but I wanted to get it rightilling me softly by the Fugees. When I was looking it up today, I was like, for some reason,
I just thought it was Lauryn Hill,
but I wanted to get it right,
and it's the Fugees,
and I'm like,
man,
Proz had something to do with that.
Proz did not.
Proz gets money.
Proz is barely in the video.
Proz is the luckiest dude.
Proz gets money from that.
Proz is probably not a ton,
but like,
I mean,
probably not as much as
Wapnest and Lauryn Hill.
If Proz has ever bought
fucking Dairy Queen
with his money from that, then he got too much.
I think that's what he was doing in the video, was just sipping on a...
He was just sitting there.
Yeah, he wasn't doing shit.
I watched the video today, he wasn't doing shit.
Was that one of the songs that you were like, sample or cover?
No, that was a straight up cover.
That was pretty straight up.
It's like word for word cover.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it's just so good.
Original recorded by Lori Lieberman and made famous by Roberta Flack.
The god Roberta Flack.
It's 70s, right?
Early 70s?
Recorded first in 1971, 73 popularized by Roberta Flack.
That Flack joint hits real hard, too, though.
Ooh, it's good.
It really does go.
It's a wiener hitter?
It's a wiener.
I mean, it's-
A wiener hitter?
It's not down in the dick, no.
It gets halfway down a D'Angelo, though.
It's, you know, it's at the top of the curb.
Sue Carmel was a big fan of that song.
I listened to it a lot in my youth.
The Roberta Flack version.
Yeah.
In the car.
It's a beautiful song.
It's a fantastic one.
That was my, or everyone's, introduction to the Fugees, which is a fun little thing.
Was Fugeela first?
Fugeela was first.
Was that the first single?
Really?
Yeah, Fugeela was.
Fugeela was a single?
It was on the radio?
Also, let's just be clear.
My introduction to Lauryn Hill was Sister Act 2.
There it is.
When she sang, joyful, joyful, Lord, we adore thee.
That was my intro to the God.
Not Whitney Houston in the studio right there.
That was actually David.
She's a powerful life, I was before thee.
That song is fantastic.
It takes me back to my early skateboarding days when I very first started skateboarding.
You skateboard?
That was a big hit.
A prominent hit when I started.
Skateboard when you were growing up?
Where did you grow up?
Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Stomping around the streets using the cement as a canvas and the skateboard as my paintbrush. Big hit. Big prominent hit when I started. When you were growing up, where did you grow up? Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Oh.
Stomping around the streets using the cement as a canvas and the skateboard as my paintbrush.
Dog, Fuji Law was the first single.
How about that?
It came out like- How about that?
On the radio, I never-
It was the first video.
Yeah.
I remember because I didn't-
When Killing Them Softly came out, I knew who they were.
Really?
And Fuji Law, I didn't know.
I was just like-
Yeah.
I had no idea. What is this? I still don't know I've Really? In Fuji Law, I didn't know. I was just like, what is this?
I still don't know I've ever seen the Fuji Law videos.
Yes, you have.
Maybe I have.
They're running away.
They're running away, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's low bugs.
She's got a red jacket and a red hat.
Not doing it right now.
You've seen it, though.
It's the Fujis.
It's the Fujis.
Is that how?
Is Prowse in there?
Prowse, what?
There's a submarine.
There's a submarine. There's a submarine.
You guys aren't talking about Ready or Not?
Because that doesn't have a submarine.
No, I was talking about Ready or Not.
You're right.
I was mixing them.
I was mixing them.
I was mixing them.
The red jacket is Fuji Law.
But Ready or Not is the submarine.
The music video for Fuji Law, they wanted to recreate Jimmy Cliff's The Harder They Come.
It's in Jamaica.
It follows a robbery-related concept
with each band member taking on a particular role.
Jamaica!
Prize.
Also, shout out to The Harder They Come, one of my
favorite Jamaican movies.
Great song, too. Oh, yeah.
I love that guy.
That's a great first pick.
Fujila, yeah.
Prize, though, dude.
Prize. Just getting... And then he hop. Praws, though, dude. Praws.
Praws, just getting.
And then he hopped on Ghetto Superstar, too.
I know.
And he, I mean, he rapped.
Worst part of that song, though.
Yeah.
That was a Maya ODP song.
Yes.
Yeah.
What did he say?
You don't even remember.
I can't remember his.
Praws.
Shorty thought it was safe in a common place.
Shut the fuck up.
Give me another
Maya verse. I'm sad the listeners
missed the dance he did with that.
It was a Praz dance for sure.
I feel like, I mean, it's not Praz's
fault that he was a barnacle on that whale,
but it's like, I'm still mad at him.
I feel like if I went to Cold Stone
and Praz was there, I would hope
his ice cream was worse than mine.
Yeah.
I bet you he would have the whack combos.
Like, he'd have cookie dough and gummy worms, and you're like, you're fucking up the whole vibe, Praz.
He'd put that gum in it, you know, the gumballs.
This is why they didn't want you.
This is why Wyclef and Lauren fell in love.
Well, and then Wyclef just comes out and, like, takes the gum out of it, and he's like, goddammit, Praz.
Yeah. You'd be doing this forever, aren't I? Speaking of ice cream, Sean and I,f just comes out and takes the gum out of it. And he's like, goddammit, Proz. Yeah.
You'd be doing this forever, aren't I?
Speaking of ice cream, Sean and I, the other night, I was baked.
Sean was not.
There's a make your own ice cream, put your own toppings in it.
Not far from our house.
Awesome.
We went and it was fucking awesome.
Yeah, it's called Soup Plantation.
It's delicious.
We also went to Soup Plantation, by the way.
God, I've been missing all the activities.
I know, you've been missing everything.
You've been missing so many activities.
I love soup plantations.
We did go to the soup plantation.
I tend to not fuck with plantations.
Oh, yeah.
It's called Sweet Tomatoes in Oregon.
What is this whole plantains thing?
Have you been talking?
They're good.
I think you had to have grown up with them.
I think you must have had to grow up with them.
You had to have a foreign mom who fried them for you.
My Beaverton Oregon ass came onto plantains late in life, and I was like, no.
They're so good.
I love them.
You love them?
Yeah.
Put hot sauce on it.
It's delicious.
Yeah, I think they're great.
I didn't have them until I was 29.
I'm out. Born out. Stayed out. They on it. It's delicious. Yeah, I think they're great. I didn't have them until I was 29.
I'm out.
Born out.
Stayed out.
They're dank.
It's killing me softly.
David Borey, it's time for your first song, Plantains Are Awful.
So my first song I didn't even know was sang by another person for years. Oh, yeah.
Because I used to have a babysitter who had me watch the hit movie, Michael Jackson's
hit movie, Moonwalker,
in which he sang, Come Together.
And I had no idea that anyone else,
until I was probably in my 20s,
I had no idea other people,
I thought that was a Michael Jackson song.
I've never heard the Michael Jackson version.
It's the only version I like.
I listen to the Beatles one
and I'm like, weak.
It is.
I grew up with the Michael Gista
and that was like the
come on.
You know what I mean?
And then I heard like
bye with a little help from my friends.
I was like, this is the weakest shit.
Those are two different songs.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But Come Together, the Come Together Michael Jackson version.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and listen to slander.
That is crazy, but you have a great Michael Jackson impersonation.
You do have a great Michael Jackson impersonation.
I watched Moonwalker a hundred times.
Oh, we wore that fucking tape out.
Yeah, that tape does not work anymore. Come Together by the Beatles is still a great song. It's a hundred times. Oh, we wore that fucking tape out. Yeah, that tape does not work anymore.
Come Together by the Beatles is still a great song.
It's a great song.
It's a great song.
But you may like the Michael Jackson version more.
Yeah, but yeah.
But you also gotta think, I never heard it.
I only ever heard, I never heard the Aerosmith one either.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, they did.
That was the only version I ever heard growing up.
I'm fucking, this Beatles song, I'm pissed.
My shirt's off again.
I'm waving a flag
but your jacket is still on
I'm waving a flag with a painting of me on it
I'm on the back of a lion
I've got two shields
with your jeans on
with my jeans on
and my team strong
remember when big dudes got jeans on
and no shirt on
you know some bad shit is going to happen.
You're at a Burt Kreischer show.
It's bad.
Young shirtless guy.
You're at a Burt Kreischer show.
Something bad is going to happen or you're watching a 2 Chainz video.
Those are the three options.
Those are the only three options of when that happens.
Every now and again you go to the beach, you catch the dude who's wearing jeans and no shirt in the ocean.
Oh, yeah.
That's always a freak.
Jeans in the ocean is a weird move.
Jeans should be in no water.
I understand the pool because shit popped off
and everybody jumped in
and you want to be cool.
I get that,
but jeans in the ocean,
you walked up to that ocean.
Not even in the rain.
Yeah, take your pants off.
Just take them off and flash your underwear in there, man.
I don't like it for one second, the jeans in the ocean.
It's terrifying.
I don't like it.
It's super scary.
Are you washing something off?
Yeah.
That murder.
You killed a pedestrian last night.
That's where you're washing it off.
I haven't heard the Michael Jackson version.
You gotta have to.
It's so good.
It's so good.
On the way home, I'm absolutely going to.
And I just,
I never,
I just thought it was like,
I thought that,
I didn't know that the song,
I didn't know what the song was about.
Yeah.
I thought it was just like,
cause I knew that Mama Say,
Mama Saw,
Mama Kusa was made up.
Yeah.
So I thought all that was Mama Say,
Mama Saw.
I thought Toe Jam Football.
Oh yeah,
cause the whole thing's just crazy.
Yeah.
Cause it's just,
I was just like,
oh,
it's just like a weird song
that Michael Jackson is singing.
Toe jam football.
Yeah.
It is weird.
It's such a good song.
It's about an addict though, right?
It's about a junkie.
It must be.
That's what I always heard.
Oh, their songs are about drugs.
That's what I heard though.
Toe jam football is like when you shoot up in between your toes.
Banging it down in there.
Banging the gack.
Coca-Cola.
It's brown.
Shout out to old Dirt McGirt, my buddy's dad, Dean, who taught me that that song was about
drunkies.
But yeah, that is my first pick.
Coming together.
Excellent first pick.
My second one, also never knew was a cover for years, and I just love bald women.
Yes.
Oh, God damn, bro.
I eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant.
But nothing, no nothing can drag away my mood.
If you listen to that song, like if you listen to the lyrics,
because I listened to it probably ten times at work today because I love it so much.
And yeah, that whole part, first part of the song, she talks about like, I can go out,
I can do whatever the fuck I want.
Yeah.
And it sucks.
Like, you know, she's like, I hate it.
It's like the first part of the song is about like daytime after a breakup where you're
pretty stoked.
And then the, but the feel of it all is like nighttime when you're broken up, when you're
very sad.
It's my second favorite breakup song.
What's your first favorite?
Oh, it's that hospital song by Jonathan Rickman.
Oh, I don't know that one.
When you get out of the hospital, I'll be waiting to get back into your life.
I've never heard that.
Have you never heard that song?
It sounds like a song I would like.
And then it breaks down. He's like, I can't stand what you do.
Sometimes I can't stand you.
I hate the way I feel about you and how it makes me feel about.
I don't know what that is.
How is it?
Yeah, that song is real sad.
Yeah.
Everybody go see The Big Sick.
When I was in third grade, I made a tape that one side was all one song and the other side was all another song.
Nothing Compares to You and Rush Rush by Paula Abdul.
Oh, nice.
Keanu Reeves is in that video.
Shout out to Michael Nelson, my number one true love from elementary school.
Wait, how does Rush Rush go?
Rush, rush.
Ooh, lover, come to me.
Remember that Keanu Reeves video?
Was that on the same tape with Cold Hearted Snake?
Where he dies in a car crash?
Probably.
Um, yeah.
I bet so.
I must have fast forwarded that.
It's so good.
It's a slow game.
Epic video.
I can see you being a Cold Hearted Snake kid.
Those Paula Abdul songs that aren't, uh.
Comics?
Yeah, that aren't, uh, whatever that famous one with Scott Cat.
Two Steps Forward, Opposites Attract.
I'll take two steps back.
I know maybe two Paula Abdul songs.
You probably know more.
I don't know if I do.
It's pretty solid pop, man. Cold Hearted Snake.
Straight Up Now Tell Me.
That's the one.
That and Two Steps Forward, Opposites Attract.
Opposites Attract.
And Rush Rush
by Paula Abdul
I don't know that one
and Cold Hearted Snake
I don't know that one
Vibeology
uh oh
he's been telling lies
he's a lover boy
at play
he don't play by rule
uh oh
uh oh
girl
girl
don't play the
don't worry
I don't know that one
don't worry
unless she does a rap in one
well now you're gonna be let down
when you hear Paula Abdul singing cause you just heard David sing I heard the better version we've about it. I don't know that one. Don't worry about it. Unless she does a rap in one. Well, now you're going to be let down when you hear Paula Abdul sing it because you just
heard David sing it.
I heard the better version.
We've got a cake.
I'm actually picking that up.
That's the best cover.
Ian didn't know anyone else ever sang that song.
No.
We've got to get people.
We've got to get each other tapes.
We've got to start like a mix team.
We should actually.
Oh, man.
I do that shit on Spotify all the time.
Yeah, we can just have a Spotify list we share.
Yeah, I make playlists for Laura.
We should... All the flowers that you planted mama
That's my favorite part
Oh I love it
That song is just so beautiful
And like that video is just like
She's just like
Everything about her
And that close up is just so beautiful
It's like so beautiful
My other favorite part is
Like a bird with a Oh It's just so beautiful. It's like so beautiful. Oh, yeah. My other favorite part is.
Like a bird with a horse.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
You know that was me?
On that track?
Oh.
As a child.
Oh.
I've had this voice for.
He's a baritone child.
Also, it was originally Prince.
Prince.
Which is.
Yeah. That's the craziest part
about it to me
is that like
it is
really hard
to beat Prince
at his own game
I know
seriously
it's been done once
yeah
it's fucking Prince
yeah
well and we didn't
he's gotta bless it
is why
his version is also amazing
yeah
I'm gonna say
it's great
yeah
it just maybe
yeah I don't know
Sinead just
it's like the Dolly thing.
He knows who's going to do it better.
Right.
And they stripped it down for her.
It's like hers is very much like minimum.
That's why people are out here just selling their songs to fucking whoever,
and they're not guaranteeing that it's a better version.
It's just disgusting.
It is disgusting.
It disgusts me.
Are you talking about Bruno Mars?
Name names.
Not naming names.
Are you talking about Bruno Mars? Name names.
Not naming names.
Well,
Ed Sheeran sold Love Yourself to
Justin Bieber. And that's definitely
an Ed Sheeran song. I mean, Bieber did a good job
with it. Really? Yeah.
I love Bieber's version, though.
You love yourself.
Oh, I don't like that song.
I love that song.
It's great. Ed Sheeran. Oh, I don't like that song. I love that song. It's great.
Ed Sheeran.
You just got so mad at me. It's all the way.
You look that much.
That one?
That's so good.
Especially now that I know that Ed Sheeran could have sang it.
Yeah.
It's way more guitar.
It makes a lot more sense.
Yeah, think about it.
Yeah, it makes a lot more sense.
My mama don't like it.
She likes everyone.
Yeah, he doesn't.
He's never called his mom mom.
Good instrumentals on it.
That's true of Ed Sheeran's mother.
His own mom.
Ed Sheeran, you don't think calls his mom mom?
No, I think Ed Sheeran absolutely does.
I don't think Bieber's never done it.
I don't think Bieber's getting feedback on his dime pieces from his mother.
I think Ed Sheeran is.
I don't think his mom even gets to meet him at this point.
No, I don't think so.
She didn't even meet Selena Gomez.
Yeah.
His mom has met 4% of the women he's had sex with.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's ridiculous. he's had sex with. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's... That's generous.
And that was on accident.
Those were just random girls
around Canada.
I mean, you can't go outside
and not see people ever,
so you're gonna see
4% of the people.
I am 100% excited
about Sean Jordan's next pick.
This guy, this guy.
Transish.
I'm on top of my game.
My next pick is gonna be
I don't think it's
I don't think it's controversial
But it's not
100% lyric for lyric
Is it by Screwdriver?
But it's extremely close
La-di-da-di
We likes to party
We don't cause trouble
We don't bother nobody
We're
Just some boys
Who are on the mic
But when it
Yes it's
There's maybe
10 words that are different
And all they're different to
Is to make Doggy underwear Yeah're different to is to make...
Doggy underwear.
Yeah, but it's just to make Snoop...
It's to make it a song, but it's still a cover song.
I will definitely say that.
And then the doggy, doggy, doggy instead of Ricky, Ricky, Ricky.
Yeah, but he just made it personal.
Now, Ian, you haven't said a word.
What do you think?
Come on, Sam.
He changes the cologne, too.
Yeah.
Right?
And he changes the shoes that he's wearing.
How many words are different?
Like 10.
It's not very many different words.
It is for sure not very many.
Okay.
I mean, I listened to them both today.
Yeah.
A lot.
Yeah.
Because I figured.
You're on the ballet shoes with the fly green socks.
Yeah.
And he says, threw on my white socks with my all blue chucks.
All blue chucks.
But the words that he does change still pretty much rhyme with slicks gotta say what's up to my dude slick
rick for those of you don't like it eat a dick now that's he opens with that he lets us know
we like to party we don't cause trouble We don't bother nobody
We're just some boys that's on the mic
And when we rock up on the mic
We rock the mic right
To all my dogs
Keeping y'all in health
Just to see you smile and enjoy yourself
Cause it's cool when you call
The cozy conditioning
Which we create cause that's our mission
So listen close to what we say because this type of shit happens every day.
I woke up around 10 o'clock in the morning.
Gave myself a stretch up a morning yawning.
I mean, we can do the whole thing.
That's the most I'll ever rap ever.
I loved it.
You were good, dude.
I thought you were going to go at least to the hypnotizing part. I wanted to, but I loved it. You were good. I thought you were going to go
at least till the hypnotizing part.
I wanted to,
but I'm sweating
because I got nervous.
It's too high.
If you can feel me,
I never get nervous.
I'm like,
I got flop sweat right now.
This is insane.
That happened to me one time
when I said the words
Mia Khalifa.
My face is sweating.
I couldn't,
well, yeah.
Mia Khalifa.
David goes,
we should get Mia Khalifa on the podcast.
And I like turtled up.
You're getting freaked out.
Really?
She can come on the podcast.
Shout out Mia Khalifa.
We'll tag you when this comes out.
I would love her to be on.
Yeah.
My face is sweating because I just rapped 10 bars.
Sean won't be here.
Sean is spitting out.
I'll be here spitting bars.
Mia Khalifa is right here.
I'm doing the whole song.
We'll have Wiz and Mia Khalifa on the same one.
I'm doing a couple songs. We'll do Wiz and Mia Khalifa on the same one. I'm doing a couple songs.
We'll do it from the Burj Khalifa, not in Dubai.
It's all
Khalifa everything.
All Khalifa everything.
I'm really
sticking out.
Still, same pink shirt on
though. Same pink shirt. I'm still on my rock
paper scissor run, so I got that confidence build going on.
Snoop Dogg. That might have been the first snoop dogg that was it might have been the first like rap song not like that might have been the first rap song i memorized all the lyrics to it's a long one it's amazing that he was a
snoop was able to pull it off because it's such a slick rick song it's such a like story yeah like
really like when snoop's got the high voice that so it really worked with it and he i think even
makes it higher for lottie dotty he sounds like he's churching up a little bit slick rick greatest british rapper of all time yes yes
right yes yeah he got deported didn't he for a little bit i think something weird happened yeah
yeah they found they found ketamine in his eye patch that's how the kids are doing it
straight to the ball straight to the eyeball there's a mucous membrane in there.
I need it on it.
I don't fuck with the other British rap so much, man.
And like,
Corden will try to like,
push some of it on me.
Try to get you in a Stormzy?
He doesn't even like Stormzy that much,
I don't think.
Well, I don't want to speak on his bath.
Maybe he loves Stormzy.
I have no idea, honestly.
Who's he like?
Lady Sovereign?
The Streets?
Oh yeah,
The Streets.
The Streets.
That is not rap. Those white Brits love The Streets. Oh, yeah, The Streets. That is not rap.
Those white Brits love The Streets.
Original pirate material.
Let's push things forward.
You say that everything sounds the same.
It's good.
It's fun, but it's not rap.
It's not.
It's something else.
Who is the rapper who remixed In the Club, but he said In the Pub?
Was that The Streets?
Oh, God. That sounds tight, though. I'm sorry for being crass, but the said In the Pub. Was that the stretch? Oh, God.
Have you not?
That sounds tight, though.
I'm sorry for being crass,
but the only line I remember from that
is he says,
Mom, I got a fiver
if you let me see your jugs.
I will say Estelle.
Is it Dizzy Rascal?
Estelle is a great British rapper.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Did she do American Boy?
No.
Yes, she did American Boy.
Did she rap, too?
Yeah, she sings and raps.
Okay.
I only know American Boy.
My interest is peaked.
1980, Year That God Made Me.
In the pub.
You can form me in the pub.
It's so bad.
Baseline Junkie did In the Pub.
Wait, maybe not.
Wait, hold on.
They said, yeah.
Baseline Junkie's a song about-
British rap is the same thing that they do to good food, which is take all this flavor
out of it.
50 pence in the pub?
Are you serious?
Is that what it is?
Well, somebody did that.
Yeah.
That's the one I heard.
50 pence.
Come on.
I got a five if you let me see your jokes.
Dizzy Rascal's good.
He had that song, Fix Up, Look Sharp.
Yeah, that song's good.
Fix Up, Look Sharp.
You know that one?
A lot of people claim Kanye bit.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That song's fucking awesome.
A lot of people have claimed that Kanye bit Dizzy Rascal.
Really?
Just like on style or what?
Yeah.
I was listening to a podcast.
We'll talk about it.
I mean, you'd be my go-to.
I don't want to disparage the God on air.
The God.
All right.
Yeah.
The God.
Lauderdale by Snoop Dogg.
La-tee-da-tee.
Ian Carmel, you're so handsome.
It's time for your second pick.
I do that to myself, too, sometimes.
It's good to do it.
It's good to remind yourself.
I do it.
If I get the right kind of drunk, I'll look in the mirror like, hell yeah, dude.
Yeah.
I have not had a touch of alcohol today.
I'm just fucking handsome, though.
I need to be a little drunk.
I guess I'm going to take this other song that I also really like.
I so scarcely listen to sad music, but I'm going one, two on songs
that I will straight up weep to.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna take,
I don't care if it's also cliche,
it's so good,
I'm gonna take Hurt by Johnny Cash.
Oh, man.
I don't think that's cliche.
I don't think that's terrible.
That's a real,
that's one of the best ever.
It's so much better
than the real fucking cry.
He's like dying in it.
He's dying in it.
In the video.
Didn't Hen Rose Carter
just die when he was doing the video?
Something crazy like that? His voice is
so weathered and broken in it.
That's the best part.
It's amazing.
I hurt myself today.
He looks so rad in the video.
Yeah, he's typical.
Sounds like he's got a shaky spoonful of oatmeal
just ready to come into his mouth.
Who could have it all?
Like if you saw a ghost that was made of leather.
And whiskey.
And whiskey, that's what you'd expect me to sing.
And yeah, when it starts coming in
and the music is really pounding
and he's singing over it, it's amazing.
That's another one where if it doesn't shake you up a little bit, there's something wrong with you.
Yeah, it feels.
He loved her, man.
Oh, he did.
Shit, he loved her.
Fuck, he loved her.
That's a dick jam.
Gets all the way down there.
It's a dick jam for sure.
It gets that little tinge.
Like shaky dick.
Like his voice.
Young shaky dick.
It's his dick singing. That's what not a lot of people know. That Like his voice. Young shaky dick? It's his dick singing.
That's what not a lot of people know.
That was his power.
Johnny Cash's very old penis singing.
Weathered.
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.
Especially knowing everything he'd been through and done to people, actually.
Yeah, sure.
Not been through so much.
Been through two and then also done to people.
You know, he's lived.
In his day, yeah.
Johnny Cash, man.
That dude was a fuck-up.
Fuck-up.
But like in the good way that we love a fuck-up in America.
Yeah, he was an American fuck-up in a beautiful way.
Like a good, poor, white guy fuck-up.
And he entertained the prisoners.
Shut up!
I did it!
Except they're not poor.
Oh, no. Yeah, that's
true. Yeah, he entertained
Live at San Quentin. Amazing album.
Folsom Prison.
Yes, Folsom Prison. I caught a little bit of that
the other day. Ian's just thinking about where he's done
his dickles at. Why did I say
San Quentin? Sorry, yeah.
I don't like the dichotomy
of it.
San Quentin, now I'm shook again, dude.
I'm going to have to take my shirt off.
Wait, it's gone.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
One of three things is about to happen.
I took my shirt off.
I got a tattoo of an elephant with my face on it storming through a city populated only by the three of you.
But there's dozens of it.
And you're all running away screaming.
The elephant's got a mace.
Oh, like in its tusk.
Yeah.
In its trunk.
In its trunk.
It's swinging a mace.
One of those ball and chain things, but the ball is actually the rapper Mace's head.
How much money would it take for you to get the lyrics of Hurt tattooed on your side like Megan Fox?
They don't make that kind of money anymore.
And every time
you'd have to be like, this is the Johnny Cash version.
Even though the lyrics are no different.
Just to be clear,
that is the line
where that becomes corny.
As much as I love this song, that would be very...
Here's my favorite Johnny Cash fact.
He helped to accidentally start
a wildfire that killed a bunch of California condors.
Oh, no.
Come on.
That's so funny.
He helped to accidentally start a wildfire.
That's so funny.
Because, you know, he was just drinking, being an asshole.
Okay, yeah.
Johnny Cash accidentally started a wildfire that destroyed over 500 acres and killed 49 endangered condors.
Whoa.
49 acres?
Yeah.
That's so funny.
Okay, where's the...
That's so funny.
God, this article really takes...
In June 1965, his camper caught fire during a fishing trip with his nephew Damon Fielder in Los Padres National Forest in California,
triggering a forest fire that burnt several hundred acres and nearly killed Cash.
He says that the fire was caused by sparks from a defective exhaust system on the camper,
but Fielder thinks that Cash started a fire to stay warm,
and in his drugged condition, failed to notice his fire getting out of his room.
That's 100% what happened.
One of those makes a lot more sense than the other one.
When the judge asked Cash why he did it,
Cash said, I didn't do it.
My truck did it, and it's dead, so you can't question it.
That's pretty badass.
He doesn't even care about it.
My truck did it, and it's dead.
It killed off 49 of the refuge's 53 endangered condors.
Wow.
He doesn't give a shit about a condor.
He doesn't know what a condor is. He doesn't give a shit about a condor. He doesn't know what a condor is.
He doesn't give so much of a fuck that he said,
I don't care about your damn yellow buzzards.
Oh, man.
Oh, that's funny.
As much as I want to hate him.
I know.
That's a gangster move.
Yep.
Johnny Cash, Hurt, Amy Miller,
it's time for your second and your third picks.
Ooh,
okay. For my second pick,
I'm going to say,
You and I must
make a pact.
This is also a song
that I didn't know was by
the Jackson 5 for most of my
childhood, until I was an adult.
Wait, who did you think sang it?
I thought it was a Mariah song.
Didn't you see Ben?
What?
You never saw Ben?
Ben?
What's Ben?
The movie with the rats.
No.
What?
I never saw Ben.
That's what that's from.
No.
You never saw the movie with all those rats?
No, never.
I've never heard.
When Ben took over and then...
Oh.
I literally don't know what you're talking about right now.
Well, now I feel like a real asshole.
I know what you're talking about.
Okay.
I just, the, like, performance of Mariah doing that song live, I was obsessed with, and her voice is perfect.
Everything she's ever sung has been perfect.
And I just thought it was her song.
And then, the fucking Jackson 5, I wouldn't say until I was an adult,
I guess until I was a teenager.
The Jackson 5 version, also perfect.
Best song, best performers.
Like, equally good.
Heartbreaking.
They're both great versions.
Look over your shoulder, honey!
Says the seven
year old or whatever yeah well the seven year old with so much fucking swagger and he sounds like a
seven year old when you're like i would fuck that kid also he says he says look over your shoulders
oh that's right yeah that's the big thing because if you see the jackson five movie
jermaine's like he said shoulders and barry gordy's like shut the fuck up jermaine
is like, he said shoulders.
And Barry Gordy is like, shut the fuck up, Jermaine.
He's a star.
Jermaine, go drink some more of that ain't going to be shit over there. He says whatever the fuck he wants.
Drink that ain't going to be shit.
Barry Gordy.
But all the Mariah spice that she puts on it in the runs, I mean, it's just amazing.
Yeah, she's so good.
Bit of a diva, that Mariah.
Is she?
Yeah.
Mariah.
I love her. Me and Mariah. Is she? Yeah. Mariah. I love her.
Me and Mariah.
I love her just... Mariah.
I think they were actually friends, and I don't know why.
I just feel like her and ODB actually did like each other.
Maybe.
She was probably fascinated by him.
On some New York shit?
Yeah, he just smelled real bad, and she was like, who's this dickhead character?
I bet you he treated her more normal than anyone has ever treated her.
He's probably just like, what?
Yeah, you know. I bet he didn't know ever treated her. He's probably just like, what? Yeah, you know.
I bet he didn't know she was famous.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me and Mariah.
Yeah, I think I thought that was a Mariah song, too, when I was a kid.
I'll be there.
I honestly.
I guess I had seen Ben.
Here's the crazy thing.
I didn't know it was a Mariah earlier Here's the crazy thing I didn't know
it was a Mariah Carey song
Yeah I didn't know
I only knew the Jackson 5 version
She does a great
She does a great version of it
Dude when Michael hits
that I'll be there
It's so
God I'm almost
I know
It's the Goosebumps episode
It is the Goosebumps episode
If it was though
Night of the Living Dummy
by the way
First pick
Good book
It's a good book Shout out to R.L. Stine If it was, though, Night of the Living Dummy, by the way, first pick. Good book.
It's a good book.
Shout out to R.L. Stine. There you go, Pete.
Big fan of the book.
Shout out to R.L. Stine.
I wouldn't be able to name one.
While Amy's going, Pete, I'll do that throw.
We're going to take a quick break, and we'll be right back.
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I'll be there.
What's your second pick
and your third pick, Amy Miller?
My third pick is
Live and Let Die.
Live and...
Axel, man, that dude can fucking wail.
Performed by Chee and FNR.
Yes, Chee and FNR.
Originally by Paul McCartney and Wings.
That dude can wail.
Originally by Paul McCartney and Wings for a James Bond movie called Live and Let Die.
Oh, yes.
Live and let die.
Yeah, that slash line,
incredible,
Axl's wailing, it's just so good.
I think the Guns N' Roses version's better.
Yeah. And I love Paul McCartney. I agree,
but it's still awesome when you hear Paul McCartney play it, but like... I've never heard the
Paul McCartney version. You know you do,
you know you do. It's amazing. It's good.
I'm sorry, I feel like this is like a Ben situation.
It's different for Darn Tootin'.
It's different. Makes you like this is like a Ben situation. It's different for Darn Tootin'.
It's different.
Makes you give in.
I cry.
Axl Rose.
Yeah, he just walked in.
It's weird.
To live and live.
I saw Guns N' Roses at Coatula.
Yeah, you did at Coatula.
At Coatula Music Festival in the Coatula Valley here in California.
And he had broken his foot doing some sort
of whatever. He had a goalie shed that
Axl Rose gets up to.
And he just sat in a throne the whole time and sang.
But it was great, you said. Really?
Like Marvin Brando.
Okay, now I'm getting it.
Now it's on.
He was old middle-aged
Brando. Old middle-aged Brando
with cornrows.
The problem is, during Guns N' Roses, I was there with a girl I was dating at the time,
and we ran afoul of some people who worked at CAA.
You ran afoul?
We ran afoul of them because they gave us Molly.
And the girl I was dating and I both took the same amount of Molly and I, a mountain of a man.
A man mountain.
And she, 100 pounds if she's lucky, took the same amount.
And like, you know, halfway into the Guns N' Roses set, I'm loving it.
And she like tasked me on the show, like, I think we should go.
And then we had to go.
Oh, that's so sad.
I know.
Oh, no.
But, I mean, I can't, God, I can't imagine.
I was cool about it, though.
You're freaking out. You're freaking out.
She was freaking out.
Yeah.
Not freaking out like I was on July 4th,
but just a light, light freak out.
I wasn't here.
I missed it.
I was right.
I missed it.
Crossfaded.
Crossfaded on.
I heard about it 2,000 miles away.
Yeah, dog. Scratch it and mix it. Oh, crossfade Carmel. Crossfaded. Crossfaded on. I heard about it 2,000 miles away. Yuck.
Yuck.
Scratch it and mix it.
Oh, crossfade Carmel.
Scratch it and mix it.
Clawing.
Clawing.
Barking.
Dude.
Knifing, stabbing, shanking.
It was a night of unparalleled Carmeligans.
Let's just say that.
Carmeligans.
Well, I've never heard that.
Another layer to the onion, my friend. I've never heard that one.
That's chain restaurant. Yeah, dude. Carmeligans. Oh, delicious. Carmeligans? Well, I've never heard that. Another layer to the onion, my friend. I've never heard that one. That's a chain restaurant.
Yeah, dude.
Carmeligans.
Oh, delicious.
Carmeligans.
Is that a never-ending pasta deal?
On Reddit, the...
Say what?
A Carmeligans?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Appetizers are going to be jittering mollies, but they're cheese sticks.
Yeah, because that's how you eat them.
Your jaw is going wild.
The people on AFE are calling themselves the AFE Carmi, which just warms my heart.
That's so cute.
We can find a way to-
The Carmi Carmi.
Yeah.
I saw the Carmi was growing today.
The Carmi is growing.
The Carmi's on the march, by the way.
Yeah, Live and Let Die.
It's a great song.
Guns N' Roses, did they do it for Chinese democracy?
Excuse me? No, not that it were. No, uh use your illusion my bad like 15 years to put out our references are way off that was the terrible one right chinese democracy yeah uh yeah yeah because
it came out like in 2008 it just was so heavily anticipated yeah yeah Use Your Illusion 1 came out in 91
nominated for a Grammy
you know you did
you know you did
you know you did
those albums were dope
now I'm thinking about
before I even liked rap
that was when I was listening
so good
third and fourth grade
probably I don't know
G and R
there was no
before I liked rap
I mean there wasn't a bit for me
I haven't heard before I like rap
Yeah I haven't
Mine is like that
Crash test dummies
What the fuck
Like a superman song
Mine was like Weird Al and Aqua
That makes way more sense
Well I'm older though
You like the crash test dummy
I love the crash test dummy
I like the one song.
Counting crows.
Birthmarks all over her body.
Once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn't go to school but win.
That guy was a doctor.
Did you know that?
He was like a surgeon that started making songs.
Performing surgery on his own vocal cords? I was a doctor. Did you know that? He was like a surgeon that started making songs. performing surgery
on his own vocal cords?
Kelly Jordan told me
that guy had three testicles
and that's why
his voice was so low.
I was maybe 10
when she told me that.
I still believe that.
That still sounds right to me.
I don't think I do.
That voice was crazy.
I think he just had
a low-ass Canadian-ass voice.
Who has a voice that,
do they all talk like that
in Canada?
Yes, David.
The listeners don't know this, but that's what Marissa also sounds like.
Gonna need you to record it today.
Get the mic closer to your face.
Do it.
I didn't go to school, but... I don't like this.
We all just did a couple Molly's,
and so we're just going to do this for like an hour.
We're just vibing on it.
Vibing on it.
By the way, don't do Molly, folks.
No, don't do it.
It's time for my third pick.
So fun.
And with my third pick, I'm going to... Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it now.
Shake it up, baby.
Twist and shout.
Twist and shout.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
Come on and work it on out.
Work it on out.
Wedding song.
Oh.
Wow. Oh, no. Wedding song. Wow!
I'm taking twist and shout.
We're all wearing Ray-Bans.
One of the best wedding songs ever.
One of the best wedding songs ever.
One of the best songs ever, man.
That's like I'm going to dance with your grandma.
Yes.
Oh, I'm dancing.
The grandmas are getting passed around left and right.
Oh, man. It's like. The grandmas are getting passed around left and right when that song is on.
It's like a
Joanne Fabrics in there.
Originally
recorded by a band
called the Top Notes
and then the Isley Brothers
and then made
incredibly,
incredibly famous
by the Beatles
on their first album
Please Please Me.
Beatles are on this list a lot
it's like they've had
a lot to do with music
they have
they have a lot
it's like they're
influenced
it's like they also
stole a lot of shit
from black people
oh but they're on both
they did a little bit
but they were on
they're on both sides of this
they've had their songs
covered
do they have originals
on this?
they have a song
I mean
Live and Let Die
we have a
oh
we for this I'm not I can, I mean, Live or Let Die. Do we have a, oh, we, for this,
I'm not,
I can't,
I broke.
Is it the Molly?
Is it the Molly?
Who's me?
Us?
I broke early,
I broke twice
and then I just went
into those weird riffs
about me having my shirt off.
I get it,
I get it.
Sometimes it just doesn't work.
I was like,
shit,
throw up the fail safe
and then I started
being absurd.
Also, made re-famous by Ferris Bueller.
Yes, indeed.
Was that a resurgence of that song?
Was it a stay off?
I felt like that song never dipped, though.
When I was a kid, I thought Matthew Broderick was singing that song.
What a world.
I thought that was him.
I was like, this fucking guy should be in very talented. Should be in Broadway doing plays.
Here we go.
20 years later. In Broadway, that's what they say.
On Broadway.
In Broadway.
Sean, how tall are you?
Tall enough to party.
6'1". Because with your hair up right now,
you're about 6'7", 6'8".
Dude, the salad
is a wedge. I don't know how I feel about it. six eight dude yeah dude the salad the salad is a it's a it's a
wedge i don't know how i feel about it i love it we're cutting loose in the studio we are loose
in the studio i'm loose as a goose baby dude twist it it's just it's efficient twist and
shout by the beatles it's fucking quick yeah it's and it just packs it it starts up like big blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, blonk, we're done. Sue Carmel, St. Sue Carmel, saw it live. She'd want me to mention.
Yes.
I watched a documentary about the Beatles touring.
They didn't tour, by the way.
They toured like once.
They didn't tour?
They toured once.
They just dropped albums?
People, their fans, yeah, they just dropped albums.
Because when they would tour, their fans would scream so loud that they couldn't hear themselves
in the monitors or play their performance.
They weren't like road dogs.
So they hated it.
They weren't road dogs.
They were like Twitter comedians.
Yeah. Well, they started out as road dogs.
Because they were at first touring. They were in Hamburg.
They were in Germany and England playing music
all the time, but once they got famous, they toured
America once and then didn't do it again.
That's crazy. Isn't that crazy?
Because they were like, this isn't fun.
I'm going to blame that on the rowdy teens.
Everywhere they went, they were mobbed by, they couldn't exist.
And then they just started doing LSD and writing songs that Michael Jackson would later cover.
Don't do LSD, anyone.
Don't do it.
Don't do LSD.
Unless you want Michael Jackson to plagiarize your art.
Yes, unless you want Michael Jackson to plagiarize.
I'm using all my words.
Twist and Shout by the Beatles, yeah.
It's just, it's so great great it's a perfect pop song it's everybody want everybody loves dancing to it yeah it's so fun it's so
fun out on the dance floor great live versions of it sean jordan what is your third this is my
third pick yeah i'm going for me here i like this is a song that's always been one of my favorites
she likes me for me yeah that's not a cover that's one of my favorites. She likes me for me. Yeah! That's not a cover.
That's one of my favorites.
Yeah, you love that song.
Oh, where, oh, where would my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me.
She's gone to heaven so I got to be good.
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
Are you taking the Pearl Jam version of it?
I mean, that's the cover.
That's great.
That's a great choice.
I love it.
I love that song.
He does it a little more like the old version.
He tries, like, he doesn't totally Eddie Vedder it.
I love it.
I think it's fantastic.
It's so good.
It's great.
I like it.
I like that.
Pearl Jam football.
The original is by Wayne Cochran.
Sounds mighty close to Wayne Cochran.
Wayne Cochran?
That's what I would have called him had he been at Sacagawea Junior High School.
You're the one kid in the 50s called, hey, Wayne Cochran.
It hasn't even been invented yet.
Who is this kid?
Who is this kid who speaks the future?
Well, Mom, that David kid really freaks me out.
I don't know where the Borey family keeps their roosters,
but apparently not in the hutch.
Shut up, Cochran.
Not in the hutch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's fantastic. I just looked it up. And it's one of those songs back in the day when it would come on,
Kelly Jordan would just shut me up and kind of turn up the radio so we could just listen to Last Kiss.
So I could be like, you know, let's talk about the A that I,
had I ever gotten an A.
I'd be talking about it.
Who got one A?
You got an A for attitude, baby.
You got one A.
A for attitude.
You got an A.
Yeah.
For positive peer pressure.
What did you do? What? What was your do it. For positive peer pressure. What did you do?
What?
What was your job to like?
Positive peer pressure?
Oh, I was a natural helper.
Natural helper.
I was a natural helper.
Were you really?
I was a natural helper.
You were, go on.
It's just like a young boy who's not a dick and they give him a medal for it.
I was not.
In our school, they took a poll of who you would confide in to tell your secrets in middle school.
And the top five most popular answers, they told those kids.
And they called us natural helpers.
And they taught us listening skills and just kind of coping skills and how to be there for people.
And then I got kicked out because I almost failed eighth grade.
He was helping too many people.
They took me in the counselor's office. You're giving too many naturals.
You know what I'm talking about?
He was so bummed. The look on his face, he's like,
he's like, yeah, you're failing eighth grade.
You can't be in this anymore.
And he just looked so hurt.
My big naturals are
out right now.
I hurt myself.
We weren't talking about big naturals in eighth grade.
We weren't talking about Big Natties.
Stacking Fat Natties?
David probably was.
I was definitely talking about Big Natties.
Wait, in seventh grade you weren't talking about Big Natties?
Yeah, I'm sure we were.
I don't know why I'm painting a false picture here.
I was talking about Fat Natties.
I was talking about good attitudes
and great friends.
I was listening to people talk about Fat Natties
because I was a listener.
I was talking about slowly downloading
one picture of Lara Croft Tomb Raider.
Oh, man.
That's what I was talking about.
I was talking about trying to find the cheat code
where she got naked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Turns out, no such thing existed.
An urban myth.
Didn't know what to type into AltaVista
to make that happen.
Jeeves didn't know.
Yeah, Jeeves didn't know.
I asked Jeeves. He didn't know. Hey, Jeeves didn't know. I asked him. I asked Jeeves.
He didn't know.
Jeeves is Mariah Carey naked.
Last Kiss is about a guy
who kills his girlfriend.
Takes his girlfriend on a date
and they go around Dead Man's Curve or whatever.
Yeah.
Screaming tires, the busting glass,
the painful scream
that I heard last.
I gotta hear this song.
Yeah, dude.
It's a good song.
I feel like a jerk.
It's a good song.
It's a fucking 50s-ass song when you hear it.
It's a 50s-ass song, but it's a third-ass pick, David Boy.
Which is funny that you're going to a 50s-ass song.
My third pick, 50s-ass song.
I had a weird couple months in 12th grade where I was just- I'll buy that. Which is funny that you're going to a 50s-ass song. My third pick, 50s-ass song.
I had a weird couple months in 12th grade where I was just- I'll buy that.
Yeah, where I was just, you know, I was confused.
I didn't live at home.
Anything could happen.
And I was listening to a lot of 50s.
And I listened to that Ain't That a Shame by the Big Bob Red.
Ain't that a shame.
It's a fat stomato song.
It's a fat stomato, man.
I love that song, though. It's such a good song song It's a fat stomino man I love that song though
It's such a good song
So wait
I'm gonna sound like a dipshit
Fat Stomino
It's his original right?
Yeah
And then
I didn't know the Big Bopper did a cover
Hey ladies and gentlemen
This is the Big Bopper
Oh
I always felt like the Big Bopper
Sucks about that plane crash I like the Big Bopper. He had a pretty face and a ponytail.
Sucks about that plane crash.
Wiggle at a walk and a giggle at a talk.
Makes the world go round, round, round. Nobody ever made a Big Bopper movie.
Why didn't they make a Big Bopper movie?
Richie got a movie.
I'm working on getting financing.
Richie Valens, Big Bopper, and Buddy Holly, right?
Yeah.
On the same rickety-ass plane?
Yeah. You know, Waylonety-ass plane? Yeah.
You know, Waylon Jennings was supposed to be on that flight, but he told Big Bopper to go because Big Bopper was sick, and they were both Texas boys and Texas guys hanging out with each other.
That's in La Bamba.
Oh, is it really?
Yeah.
There's a moment in La Bamba that that happens.
Oh, yeah.
Where he's like, you go, you go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we could have lost Waylon Jennings.
Waylon Jennings.
Ain't that a shame?
That would have been a shame.
I really love that song, though.
Mattias Pellegrin.
It's so good.
I don't know what it is about it.
It's the chorus.
In 12th grade, you really got into it?
Yeah.
I love that.
It was like that and that Charlie Brown song.
Who's always goofing in the halls? It was that. Charlie Brown? Yeah. I love that. It was like that and that Charlie Brown song. Who's always goofing
in the halls? It was that.
Charlie Brown. Yeah. Walks
in the classroom, cool
and slow. Yeah, that song.
Charlie Brown. What else was I
into? Oh, I got into Bad
Bad Leroy Brown. It was just a weird
I got really into Jim Croce when I was like a
senior too. Time in a Bottle, Bad Bad Leroy
Brown. What else was I into? What's the other one? Don't Mess senior, too. Time in a Bottle, Bad Bad Leroy Brown.
What else was I listening to? What's the other one?
Don't Mess Around with Slim.
Walking Back to Georgia?
Yep.
Oh, Johnny B. Goode?
Walking Back to Georgia.
Because I thought that that song was only from Back to the Future, and then I found
out that a person sang it.
Yeah, I had a weird time.
Johnny B. Goode.
Yeah.
But anyways.
Ain't that a shame?
That's the chorus is my favorite part.
My tears fill my rain. ain't that a shame this is the chorus is my favorite part that's domino he just died this year man really slept on like held on music in america too like
yeah he was like so famous when he was like in his groove was like the biggest recording artist
in america i think that's one of those things
where some people are going to get famous
and we're still going to lose track.
I'm going to tell my kids about Tiffany,
but not everybody's going to know about that.
Right, yeah.
Not everybody's going to know.
We're doing our part now to spread the word.
That's why covers need to happen.
And let people know that Wayne Cochran used to be around.
Wayne Cochran.
That prick.
My fourth pick.
So this is one of those loose ones where I'm not sure what you want to do with it.
Good, let's get into it.
Most deaf leaving on a jet plane.
I mean, I've never heard the most deaf version.
I don't know the most deaf version.
I'm leaving on a jet plane.
I don't know when.
Is that it? Yeah, and then he says, kiss me and smile for me. Yeah, it's a cover. I'm leaving on the next plane. I don't know when. Wow.
Yeah, and then he says, kiss me and smile for me.
Yeah, it's a cover.
Tell me that you'll wait for me.
I think that counts for sure.
You think so?
Yeah.
Okay, then yeah.
Most Def, leaving on Jet Set.
Even though I gotta leave, I'm a traveling man.
Travel through places, space and time.
And then he starts rapping.
Okay.
Yeah, I loved that song.
That was like when I first thought that
Most Def, listening to Most Def meant you were smart.
So I would like
play that like for like girls
in my Chevy Lumina like,
you probably won't hear this on the radio.
Yeah, he comes back
to it a couple times. I think if
it's telling me softly as a cover, this is.
Alright, it's a far departure.
But, like, yeah, I just, it was like, yeah, it was one of my first, like, playgirls to
make them think I'm cool, smart.
Yeah.
It's just this tricky ratio of, like, how much can you rap over the cover part?
I don't know what the breakdown is.
Because there's a lot of rap in that song.
Yeah.
But also, if you're singing it, then it's not a sample.
So, yeah, I think it works.
You think it works?
Yeah.
It's a song written by John Denver originally in 1966
and then made famous by Peter, Paul, and Mary.
You know that John Denver is full of shit, man.
Yeah, there we go.
I didn't fuck with Paul.
No, I was a
Peterhead.
Mary. All day Mary.
You were Mary Mallon.
You were Mary Mallon. Merry Christmas.
Hail Mary Mallon.
Mary all day.
Mary all day.
That song is so good.
I haven't heard the most deaf one.
Yassine Bey.
Yassine Bey, yeah, please.
Respect to the God.
Respect to the God.
The Peter, Paul, Mary one is so good.
It's also very prescient to what we do for a living.
It can make you sad sometimes, too.
Yeah, that's always like a thing that you tell me.
Now, that's a good use of a word that I'm not familiar with.
Say it again.
Prescient.
Paul?
Prescient.
Paul.
I've never heard the word Paul.
Let's call me.
Sad?
I heard the word sad.
I just hear it when no one's around.
And I hear it loud and I hear it hard.
Oh, God, Sean.
I hear it in the mirror sometimes.
Jesus Christ.
And I don't want to do this to you.
Sometimes I hear it at the bottom of the bottle.
We don't know.
We don't know what I'm doing when no one's around.
This is what happens when you help so naturally.
My next pick.
Well, it's not even time for your next pick yet.
Yeah, it is.
Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. My bad. My bad next pick yet. Yeah, it is. Oh, wait.
Oh, yeah.
My bad.
My bad.
I didn't even write it down.
Are we doing four?
We're on four, right?
I apologize.
Are we doing four or five?
I apologize to you, my friend.
We're on four.
We're on four.
Oh, okay.
Now this is, you know, tell me what you think.
Okay.
So I'm going to pick Lisa Bonet as Marie Dessal in High Fidelity.
Oh, shit.
Covering Peter Frampton, Baby, I Love Your Way.
Whoa.
Is that fucking Peter Frampton?
So technically this is Lisa Bonet.
Technically.
Now, since you can't, I don't know if you can purchase the song.
I love it.
I mean, it is a cover for sure.
I love it.
Yeah, I'm counting it.
And it's my favorite movie of all time.
It's between that or a different part of that movie where there's another cover.
High Fidelity is your favorite movie of all time?
I think it's the perfect movie.
Jack Black at the end, you mean?
At least one of his top five.
I always thought you...
Huh?
What are you, figuring out my passwords over here?
Sure.
Sure.
Yeah, it's just...
She sings it perfectly.
I don't know Lisa Bonet had it like that.
So sexy.
She's got it like that.
It's just, yeah, I just absolutely love it. And it makes it completely
makes that song seem
fantastic. I didn't not like
the song. It's not something that I didn't
like, you know, when she's singing it.
Fucking absolutely love it.
Ooh, baby, I love your way
every day.
And then she does,
I wanna be with you night and day
She does it way better obviously
But I was like
I wanna be with you night and day
That song is sexy
When she
Not when Frampton does it
It's still pretty sexy when Frampton
You guys don't think it's
Wait you guys don't think it's sexy
When Frampton does it That song don't think it's sexy when Frampton does it?
Look at a picture of Peter Frampton real quick.
That song makes me want to do it at the sundown.
Does it make you come alive?
Don't do that to me.
You know that doing it
where it's like, you can almost
not see in your room, but you can still
kind of see in your room?
Yes.
Like dusk doing it?
Is it, could I set off a flash grenade in there?
Yeah.
What?
Are we still kind of blind?
Nope, that's different.
That's a different thing you're talking about than what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Or like there's like a candle lit or the TV's on or something.
Like it's golden outside.
Oh, natural light.
Yeah.
Okay.
Dusk doing it.
Dusk doing it.
From dusk till dawn.
From dusk till dawn.
You're not going to get it till dong.
I'm 30 years old.
I said dong.
That's what I'm saying.
No, that's, no, that's, I'm in agreeance, dusk till dong.
I'm 30 years old.
That is heartbreaking.
I've been saying it so much lately.
Why?
It doesn't really fit.
I mostly say it to like my little brother when I talk to him on FaceTime.
What are you saying?
Tune out for a second. Oh, I'm saying I'm 30 years old. He can't bone down all night anymore when I talk to him on FaceTime. What are you saying? I tuned out for a second.
You're saying I'm 30 years old.
He can't bone down all night anymore.
I'm 30 years old for that sake.
I can still bone down all night.
All right, you got nurses.
Who wants to bone all night?
I hate to go back to this because I feel like I've talked about it before.
20 minutes.
I'll bone for a portion of the night.
Yeah.
Then I won't go to bed.
Yeah.
Or go do something
else and then come back and bone. Yeah, I'll bone twice
in a night, three times if you catch me on the wrong night.
I'm not boning all night.
Catch me after a good one, yeah. I'm 33 for God's sake.
Also, sometimes the engine
runs out of oil, you know what I'm saying?
All the parts don't get the...
You gotta plug the Tesla back in. They don't get the juice
that they need to keep pumping. Babe, I'm gonna go plug the Tesla back in they don't get the juice that they need to keep pumping
baby I'm gonna go plug the Tesla back in
cause that first drive was straight up a hill
pedal in the middle
it's cum you guys are talking about cum right
no why do you have to say it
I wouldn't know anything I'm not married
so one of these days I'll figure it all out
but as soon as I put a ring on it
ring
cock ring
as soon as I put a Wayne cock ring on it. Cock ring. See, did I put a Wayne cock ring on it?
Mom, that David
fella called me cock ring again.
I like it, and I like him.
Invite him over
for dinner.
He is not your friend, sweetie.
Yeah, that's a good version of that song.
She's way sexier than Peter Frampton.
Although I find Frampton sexy.
Frampton also sexy.
Girls wanted to fuck Frampton.
Girls wanted to fuck Eddie Money.
Probably still do.
Not a sexy man.
You don't have to be sexy for girls to want to.
You have to be sexy.
You do have to be sexy.
You don't have to be classically attractive.
I should say not yet.
That's what I should have said.
Seal's face looks like my nuts.
Frampton fucked.
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, you're right.
Sexy is completely different than textbook attractive. I'm so sorry Yeah, you're right, sexy is completely different Than textbook attractive
I get it
We define our own sexy
I think you're sexy
I think this fucking room is sexy
Men do, but go on
Man, cutting right to the core
Feel good about yourself?
I should almost put my pink shirt back on
Can you put at least one tit in a bra?
That would look even weirder.
Like the LL Cool J pant thing?
You don't want to see that.
How come no one's done that with a bra?
They've done it.
It's not around us.
We don't deserve to see that.
The LL Cool J pant thing.
Can I just pick an Amy just like an album cover with one tit out and a backwards cat.
Holy crap, Volani.
It's a breastfeeding look.
Very quickly, it's time for my fourth pick.
Holy moly buckets.
And with my fourth pick, I'm going to take us back to the old country, folks.
Let's go.
Take us back to the old country for a little.
Volare.
Oh, my God.
Oh, cantare.
Oh, let's fly way up to the clouds.
Oh.
Away from the maddening crowds
and then just some Italian
it is made famous by Dean Martin
but not originally recorded by Dean Martin
it was originally written and recorded
by a guy named Domenico
Madugno.
Okay.
For Eurovision.
Domenico, you're such a beautiful
voice. Domenico, I want you to sing
the song.
You're such a beautiful voice, Domenico.
Domenico, get out of here before Grandma sings the song.
Mama Madugno, listen to Domenico.
Hey, put me in the car.
I don't want to be in the car.
Italian shit.
Italian shit.
Dean Martin fucking crushed it, though.
Dean Martin covered it, and it's just like, ooh.
His voice sounds like somebody pouring a big glass of scotch for you. His voice is made of scotch.
It is.
And he famously did not, not famously or whatever, wasn't actually ever drinking.
That was apple juice in his cup.
But he would drink.
Oh, really?
He drank.
He would just, he didn't like to perform in an altered state, which I love.
Like you.
He acted like he did, though.
Yes.
Which he put on the face, and I love it.
He put it on the face.
He was drinking off camera.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He left.
You don't drink before you go on stage, have you?
No.
I'll do it like once every six months to remind myself why I don't.
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
Yeah, if anybody is listening, me too.
Me three.
No, I never really do anything before I go up.
Not me.
I like them to get.
Let's fly.
Not me, dude.
Way up to the sky.
They pay for the whole seat, David, but I like them to only need the edge.
You know what I mean?
I know.
I like to be sober up there.
Oh, here's the Italian.
Jesus Christ.
Domenico, so beautiful.
Domenico, what do you think about me, Domenico?
You have a beautiful voice.
Domenico, you steal everything good.
You let your brother take care of the ghost.
You come inside and make your big body a pastor.
You sing with your mother.
You're going to make the Madrugo family proud.
I tried the sauce last night.
Oh, what do you think?
It was fucking fangin'.
Your boy.
I saw on Twitter.
What sauce?
You made sauce?
I made the, my grandmother is perfected by my mother, by the way.
She made sure to remind me when I was talking to her the other day.
She was given some garbage
to work with and really turned it into a good
sauce.
The family recipe, a tomato sauce. It's really
good. I put veal in it.
I didn't know
what I was getting.
I didn't feel bad. I was
wearing a fur coat, overfeeding a goose,
putting veal in the sauce.
I don't give a fuck. I don't care.
I don't care.
I've just decided I don't care about
any of that stuff. I know it's
bad, but so is everything.
Remember when Screech tried to sell that sauce?
What a mess.
Screech, he was selling
his family's sauce
recipe as a side hustle.
All the other kids started to help out
making the sauce.
Oh.
Big mess.
He did a commercial and everything.
Saved by the bell.
Oh, it was, huh?
You know, also comedian Mike Racine
sells spaghetti sauce.
This I know.
I bet his is even better somehow.
But ours, it's pretty good, right?
Ours is fantastic.
My hand's over my heart, by the way.
And I just got goosebumps for like the seventh time
I'm gonna try this sauce
I wanna dip a garlic stick in it
I wanna dip a garlic stick in whatever you pick fourth
And then fifth
As it is like an S
That's me?
Okay I'm gonna go
This is one a little bit for me also.
I'm going to go with your song by Elton John as performed by Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge.
There we go.
My gift is my song.
Yeah.
And this one's for you.
That's, yes.
Incredible.
And this one's for you.
That's, yes.
Incredible.
Shane and I got to see Elton John for the low, low price, the astonishingly low price of On the Fucking House because Amy is a sweetheart and didn't want to go for some reason.
You didn't want to go to Elton John?
They were free tickets.
She wanted Shane and I to cry pretty hard next to each other while he sang Tiny Dizzy.
I'm taking Sue Carmel to see Elton John in Las Vegas in March for the high,
high price of, I'm not going to mention it.
In Vegas?
Oh, yeah. You'll be crying.
I'm going to be crying. Is it back at T-Mobile?
No, it's
in one of the casino's big theaters.
The show is called The Million Dollar Piano.
Accurate name.
So I also love
The medley that
Ewan McGregor does in that movie
I fucking love Moulin Rouge
But that was too hard
There's so many good songs in that including I Will Always Love You
But your song he keeps pretty much
To the word
Changes the sound of it but sounds great
He includes
Some of Elton's like craziest lines
like uh if i were a sculptor oh yeah but then again no okay why not i guess show your work
excuse me and then uh like so excuse me forgetting but these things i do
what he's talking about, their eyes? Yeah, I forgot.
Forgotten.
If they're green or they're blue.
Shakes it up.
Why can't I sing?
Like, you sing this love song to somebody, figure it out.
You can't remember it.
Yeah, are they green or they blue?
You know?
I think he was more worried about the bad guys.
My girlfriend's eyes are brown.
I don't need to look that up.
Yeah, not trying to be a prick over here. I know it off the top need to look that up. Yeah, not trying to be a prick over here.
I know it off the top for God's sake.
I'm not trying to be a fucking perv.
He makes it up, though, because then after he's like,
but yours eyes are the sweetest stars I've ever seen.
What I really mean is.
Is that making it up?
Is that all you have to do?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Just lie.
What I really mean.
Those are the sweetest eyes
I've ever seen
And then Jim Broadbent
comes in with the chorus
and starts singing
Like in any good song
Jim Broadbent saunters in
Just under the wire
Barely made it
So good
I love those
fucking what's that guy's name
Baz Luhrmann Baz Luhrmann I love the whole Baz Luhrmann thing Me too I love those fucking, what's that guy's name? Baz Luhrmann. Baz Luhrmann.
I love the whole Baz Luhrmann thing. Me too.
I love all his movies
and I enjoyed his weird Netflix TV
show as well. Yeah.
Well, when you're an 18-year-old girl,
nothing's better than Moulin Rouge.
That's our second Baz Luhrmann reference of
the podcast, by the way, because we talked about Romeo
and Juliet earlier.
He's very
Basilar. I wanted to be
a hooker with tuberculosis.
Oh, yeah. Who does it? I mean, yeah, what are you doing?
Who are you talking to, you know?
Read the room, Mill Mill.
That TB shot, because I always
worked with kids, so. Anyway,
it didn't work out. I can still do the hooker part,
but.
Baz Luhrmann. Baz Luhrmann.
Baz Luhrmann.
I like when people call him Baz.
All Baz everything.
Amy, your fifth pick.
Shit.
I didn't know it was me again.
Oh, geez.
Serpentine.
Oh, man.
Okay, this is a lot.
Last pick.
Serpentine.
Okay, I'm going to go with Tainted Love.
Licker Girl. Tainted Love. Licker Girl.
Tainted Love, another song a lot of people don't know is a cover.
Because, oh, and the original is really good.
It's by Gloria Jones.
Yeah.
Came out in the mid-60s.
Really?
Yep.
Wow.
That was, I didn't know it was that early.
I didn't know that either.
And then Soft Cell made it famous.
Yeah, like 64 or something.
That's pretty buck.
Tainted Love.
Whoa.
You gonna break me off a piece or what?
No.
I don't feel like singing.
Wow.
What if I just...
You sing it.
I don't know how it starts.
Now I'll run.
Is it...
This tainted love you're giving
gave me all a boy
could give you. Take
my tears and let's not
mill it. Oh
tainted love.
But the original version
is like the soul version and it's
so, so good. Look it up
if you haven't heard it. Yeah, Gloria Jones.
I bet it is.
Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Excellent pick.
Excellent pick.
It's time for my final pick.
It's a big pick, man.
Based on your pick, because I want to go
fucking crazy with my last pick,
but I want someone else to go a little crazy first.
I have a crazy idea, but I also
accidentally left a thing I really
wanted on the board. I did too, but I
have a crazy one that I think
everyone will get a kick out of.
Oh yeah? Maybe. Or you'll get mad.
You think everyone will get a big kick out of it? Maybe.
Alright, then I'm going to say tame on mine.
Oh no, you want me to go crazy with you?
I don't know. Do you, man. Paint your own picture.
Alright, I'll paint my own picture.
I'm trying to think.
Okay.
Alright, so what I'm going to do right now,
this is dropping on
January 25th.
I'm going to rewind us
exactly one month
and remind everyone to
have a holly jolly
Christmas.
It's the best time of year.
I don't know if they'll be slow, but have a cup of cheer.
The Burl Ives version of Holly Jolly Christmas.
Say that name again.
Burl Ives.
Burl Ives.
Burl Ives.
Yo-ho, the mistletoe.
Burl.
Burl.
God, that's a buck name.
So many good Christmas options.
Originally sung by the Quinto sisters and then covered by Burl Ives for one of those
claymation things, the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Oh, is that?
That was the first, I mean, okay.
Yeah.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the Rankin Bass Christmas special.
Yeah, and Burl Ives just okay. Yeah. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the Rankin-Bass Christmas special. Yeah, Burl Ives just went in there.
That song just, it lifts, it just fills me with joy, even though I'm Jewish, 100%.
You are.
I've seen that.
I've seen the certificates hanging on the wall right above the free weights.
That's right.
That's one of the ones that if you hear like early December or late November, you're like,
fuck yes.
Yes.
I'm ready for this.
Yeah, that is a good one.
You're like, I'm going to buy presents for my nephews and nieces.
Christmas music has been popping up on my playlist, and I'm getting bummed.
Like, God damn it.
It's so far away.
It's past Christmas now.
I can't get excited.
Christmas music is popping up on your playlist?
I listen to a lot of Christmas music.
We really did it up, though.
We did it up this year.
A holiday jolly Christmas by Burl Lives.
I don't want to spend too much time
on it because I want to hear what your crazy pick
is so bad.
Now, this is going to be the closest I've ever got
to a potential veto, but it
was a cover song. So I'm going to pick
me
singing God Must Have
Spent a Little More Time on You in a
mall kiosk video recording
studio for my high school
girlfriend covering the NSYNC version of God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You.
What the fuck?
Basically, just because I wanted to tell the story about why I was doing that.
Yeah.
I'm allowing it.
I need to hear it.
You gotta cover it if you can't hear it.
Can this be true?
Tell me, can this be real?
Wow.
How can I put into words what I
feel my life
was complete
I thought I was whole
why do
I feel like I'm
losing control
don't lose control
cause Amy was fucking
you're really laying it out this episode
Amy moved
cause he just went Because Amy was fucking You're really laying it out this episode Amy moved So wait
Because he just went
That was a very like
You felt it though
I was feeling it
It's the most embarrassing thing that I can do
Is actually sing
So I feel like the listeners should get that little taste
You're always so hesitant
I mean when we're hanging out you'll sing sometimes
But like on the air
On the airwaves
You've always been hesitant to sing,
and especially to rap. So I went in
You've done both this episode. I went into a recording
I paid 15 bucks
and there was like a
backdrop. In 97, that was like
That's hella. There was like a
backdrop of like
whatever it was, I don't know
lasers or some shit. You could pick your backdrop
and I just had to stand there by myself and sing this song like it was. I don't know, lasers or some shit. You could pick your backdrop. And I just had to stand there by myself
and sing this song like it was karaoke.
And I recorded it, and the tape never came out.
Dog.
So I wrote them a letter.
They sent me my money back,
and I told Tammy that I did this.
She didn't believe me.
And somewhere, there might be that tape somewhere.
Did you sing it live for her?
Like you did for us?
Tammy, if you're listening.
We were laying there one time in her basement. We were laying in her bed. This is so fucking embarrassing. And she goes, I don't believe that you did for us? Tammy, if you're listening. We were laying there one time in her basement.
We were laying in her bed. This is so fucking embarrassing.
And she goes, I don't believe that you did that. And I was like,
I'll do it right now. So we're laying there looking at the ceiling
and I just laid
it out.
Maybe if you had done this for Nicole
at some point.
Nicole!
We spent a little
more time singing Nzingzongs and a little less time buying Batman posters.
You are gone.
You guys, have you heard about this?
Sean, we were doing, I forget, it was two episodes ago, and we were talking about how Sean had a Why So Serious poster unframed in his house.
Why So Serious.
Why So Serious.
You're a grown up, dude.
He was, how old did we figure out
you were?
Like 26 or something?
26 when that movie came out.
Yeah, that's two.
I love it.
Wow.
I love you,
but that's two.
And I think it had a rip in it.
A lot of onions,
a lot of layers on the onion,
man, again.
A lot of layers on the onion.
Very cuckish.
Well, yeah.
Is that what cucks are doing?
That's a cuck move.
Is it?
Are you going to let Batman
cuck you out in your own room?
No. The Joker was cucking me out in your own room? Unframed person?
The Joker was cucking me out in my own room.
Even worse.
Joker does much better.
Everyone who cucks is the Joker.
Maybe arrested in paradise.
David, it's time for your final pick.
My final one is pretty personal, too.
I don't know if a lot of people even have heard it,
but I want to say when I was a little boy,
my mom bought me
the single of the
Sugar Hill Gang, Rapper's Delight.
I know what you're talking about.
And I just sat in my living room and
over and over
and over and over
learned the words to that fucking
song. Who are you picking? Whose version?
All 15 minutes. And then in
1998, I think, I think roughly 1998,
the motherfucking Death Squad.
I didn't know that people could do...
Keith Murray, Eric Sermon.
Eric Sermon.
And Redman.
And I didn't know people could do covers.
And it fucked me up.
It fucked me up.
Because not only was it a cover it was shorter and I just felt
like I was like why did I
learn about
the macaroni soggy the peas all mushed in
the chicken tastes like wood
why did I do that
yeah and then these guys just come out
and they do it
three oh man and I just was
like the enjoy it still
fucks with me.
Like I just was, it was just so unfair.
I love that death squad.
So Eric Sermon has always sounded, it's always been one of my favorite rapper names.
I don't know why.
Just Eric Sermon.
Really?
Didn't he like Bandit?
Just sounds like a good fucking name.
I love it.
I love Keith Murray.
I love Redman.
I think it's a great song.
I mean, Redman, do you think Redman felt weird having the only
rap name in that group?
Yeah. Well, we're just going to go by Keith
and Eric.
We're just going to go by Redman.
So on our taxes, it's going to say Keith, Eric,
and Redman?
Let's make it clear. Redman
taxes.
I was not going to
head it myself
yeah
red man taxes
don't
I'm pretty sure
he got paid
in cash
for how
which is a good
move
yeah smart
keep it up
in the books
that the
the deaf squad
rappers delight
just because
I didn't know
I didn't know
that was
I didn't know
about covers
really and it was
just like
especially rap covers.
Right.
And I worked, I put in the work to know all the words to rap.
Like I tried so hard.
Were you kind of upset that you had learned an extra 10 minutes of song?
Yeah.
So much.
An extra 10 minutes that never gets referenced, by the way.
No.
Nobody brings up the other parts.
It's like the extra verse, or it's like that added verse to the fucking intro to Fresh Prince
where people are like, oh, damn.
I didn't even know it was extended.
Yeah, you know who else learned that?
You did.
I know you did.
I'm just out here learning stupid shit.
I'm going to go home and memorize the extended opening of Living Single.
Which is on, what is it on?
It's on Hulu
and I'm pretty much
almost done with it.
Nice.
Yeah, man.
Have you heard
the extended cheers theme?
Yeah,
and your girlfriend
is a boy.
Because it's a song.
We talked about it
on here one time.
It's like a full on song.
Yeah,
I've heard all the extenders.
I got it.
I've heard all the extenders.
As I'm sure
we're creeping
either up to
or way over the two hour mark right now. I'm sure, we're creeping either up to or way over the
two-hour mark right now.
I'm going to end it right there.
Excellent draft, everybody. Let's go over the picks.
Amy, you started us off and you went with
I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston,
and then I'll Be There by Mariah Carey, Live and Let
Die by Guns N' Roses, Your Song
by Ewan McGregor, and then Tainted Love by
Soft Cell. I went second
and took Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley,
Hurt by Johnny Cash, Twist
and Shout by the Beatles, Volare by
Dean Martin, and then Holly Jolly Christmas
by Burl Ives.
Sean, you went third and took
Killing Me Softly by the Fugees,
Lottie Dottie by Snoop Dogg, Last
Kiss by Pearl Jam, Baby I
Love Your Way by Lisa Bonet.
God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You by Sean Daly.
In the mall kiosk.
Crushed out of the Sioux Falls Crips.
Right into the karaoke booth.
David Boy, you went last.
You took Come Together by Michael Jackson.
Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Connor.
Ain't that a shame?
I hiccuped in the middle of it.
By the Big Bopper, Jet Plane by Mos Def.
And then Rapper's Delight by the Def Squad.
Jet Plane by Mos Def really sticks out.
We left some fucking bangers on the board.
The one that I was really conflicted about was I wanted to take Devil Town by Bright Eyes,
a cover of a Daniel Johnstone song.
Okay.
I Fought the Law by The Clash.
Proud Mary.
Get by with a little help from my friends,
but it was referenced.
I didn't want to take it.
What would you do if I popped your groove?
Oh, yes.
Wonder Years.
The Wonder Years theme.
Would you run like a bitch from me?
My Morning Jacket does a cover of Dream a Little Dream
that will knock your fucking socks off.
Oh, yeah.
And then they do Take My Breath Away.
Speaking of covers of those kind of songs.
Superstar by Sonic Youth
covering Karen Carpenter.
Landslide by the Dixie Chicks.
Oh, yeah.
That is a good one.
Oh, they did do that.
Such Great Heights,
Iron and Wine.
Pursuit of Happiness by Lissy.
Yep.
Hard Knocks Life by Jay-Z.
Shit.
I didn't know if that was a five
I wanted to have.
It's a hard knock life.
That's tough because he doesn't sing the hook.
Fuck, man.
No, he only sings the hook.
Oh, he does.
It's a hard love.
I was at any Christmas song.
Jay-Z.
Or he doesn't sing it.
It's Annie singing it.
It's Annie.
So I think that's not a cover.
That's a sample.
Oh, holy night.
John Coltrane doing Favorite Things is fucking amazing.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, holy night.
Any Christmas song that Mariah did.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She did I'll Be There, too, another Jackson cover.
She did? I know. It's on my list. Are you serious? She picked it. Oh, yeah. She did I'll Be There, too. Another Jackson cover. She did?
I know.
It's on my list.
Are you serious?
She picked it.
Oh, no.
That's not what I mean then.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Bro, are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
The other song.
Okay.
Not I'll Be There.
Jesus.
Now I'm on the spot.
Talking about Silent Night?
I broke.
Now I broke.
Well, what's it go to?
God must have spent a little more time on Tammy Ganser.
I was going to say a little more obscure one, but Kiss the Bottle by Lucero, originally
by Jawbreaker.
One of my favorites.
How does that song go?
I'm not going to sing a Lucero song.
I can't live without you.
Oh, yeah.
That's so good.
Is that not the Jacksons?
I'm a fucking idiot.
That's not the Jacksons, is it?
It's not the Jacksons.
I don't think so. Jesus, I'm
leaving.
Can't give anymore.
That song? Yeah, but anyway
Mariah does a banging cover of that, whoever sings it.
Can't live
oh I can't live. There it is right there.
If living is without
you.
Excellent draft, everybody.
Shout out again to everyone on Twitter, on Instagram, in the AFE subreddit.
We see you guys having your second fan vote.
We love that.
Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah.
Or you're not voting your second fan draft.
I'm fucking super into that.
Drafting.
Drafting.
Drafting.
Drafting.
Drafting.
Yeah, shout out to everyone listening.
Again, please send us your picks.
We love hearing them.
I'm sure we missed a few awesome ones.
Yeah, shout out to everyone who listened.
Again, please send us your picks.
We love hearing them.
I'm sure we missed a few awesome ones.
And more importantly, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. It's a cold and it's a broken shakaklakata. that was a hate gun podcast