All Fantasy Everything - Fashion Trends (w/ Alice Wetterlund)
Episode Date: March 14, 2024All Fashionable Everything.Episode Guest:Alice Wetterlund (X @alicewetterlund, IG @alicewetterlund)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mai...lbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
uh alice are you recording uh yeah i i'm i've been recording for a while you're recording 17 hours recording as of now david's been recording all night baby i never stopped recording
i also didn't i started this recording the same time as david but you guys didn't know i was
recording you were just here i just was recording an empty embedded
meditating. That's fun.
He wants to say hi really badly.
Oh, what's the kid's name?
Birdie is like really
will not fucking rest until he's
Hey, I got a birdie. Birdie like B-I-R-D
like the bird outside or Bert.
Birdie. Yeah, I got a birdie.
B-I-E at the end.
Is that named after Tupac's character in Above the Rim?
Hello. My birdie's on the couch. They all know after Tupac's character in Above the Rim? Hello.
Birdie's on the couch.
They all know you're beautiful.
That's what I say, David.
Laura named Birdie and Betty and I was like, well, that works out.
I wanted to name Birdie Peaches and she
never said that.
Her name was Peaches
for about
eight minutes or something.
I don't know that I love that name for a cat.
So we're calling her Peaches for about eight minutes and Laura's like,
we're not going to name
her Peaches.
She shut it down.
Is it because it's a lady name?
I don't know. I just thought. Why don't you like
Peaches, Ian?
It feels weirdly sexual to me.
Yes. Okay, same.
I'm glad I'm not the only one.
I think of peaches.
I think of an old lady.
You do?
Maybe I need to change my paradigm on this.
But you're really attracted to old ladies.
So that's me.
Yeah.
Well, that's part of it too.
I'm a milk hunter.
These are not mutual needs.
Peaches is too sexual.
I would name my cat something more neutral, like juicy labia
or whatever. Absolutely.
Labia majora. And labia minora.
Labia majora?
Those were
all on the chalkboard.
Labia minora sounds like two cats
to me. Labia minora is
a sacred Jewish tradition.
I was going to say, it sounds
sexual
experience, an awakening. Let's have this be the beginning of the podcast. is a sacred Jewish tradition. I was going to say, it sounds sexual,
sexual experience,
an awakening.
Let's have this be the beginning of the podcast.
I think so too,
because it's already so good.
Yeah.
Let's just come in.
All right.
You're sure.
Across the street from my house,
there's,
there's this new breed of dog that I,
I have fallen in love with.
It's called brand new,
brand new.
It's called six dogs.
Is this, it's this one size of dog and there's six of them. And there's like always at least four on the balcony shouting. And there's, and I say, hello, good morning, six dogs.
And how many of you are carrying this one dog. It is one dog. They're always like...
It's like a distributed intelligence
because they're all the same size.
And they just...
I can see that.
They work as one
and they kind of...
You can even see ideas spread
throughout their little acorn brand.
Do you think like when rents do,
they just form a little dog Voltron
and then go like pay the bills or whatever?
I think they live there by themselves.
I've never seen anyone else.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They get all into a trench coat.
I know exactly what you're talking about because there is a version of that, a three dogs version of that on my street.
And they're tough guys.
You're tough guys.
They're little.
But every time you walk by, they're like, and they do.
One of them will look at the other and that one will start barking and then that dog
will be like, oh, we're barking. All right. And then that dog will start
barking at me. Where do you stand on
this? A big dog, like a big dog.
You go into someone's house. I did this the other night.
You go into someone's house. There's a giant dog.
Did you get invited or you broke in?
I broke in. It's neither here nor there.
But you go in and
the dog rushes you and then the person's like, don't worry,
they're cool. And they don't really do anything.
But the dog like runs, you know what I mean?
And they run straight at your balls for some reason.
It's straight.
It's right there.
And so I always put my hand over it.
They're coming for the peaches is what you're saying.
Yeah.
They hear what I named the cats.
I don't know.
And the dude, he listens.
It was a pleasure meeting the dog.
But just in general, when that happens, I'm like, why don't you, you know, move toward me a little more?
Like, I don't know if the dog's cool.
You know what I mean?
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
Maybe don't let the dog.
So did it jump on you?
No, we were on their porch.
It was in the yard and everything.
And he's like, hey, the dog's going to come out.
And the dog was huge.
It was fine.
But I have had situations where they don't say that.
So it just got me thinking like,
it does happen where a big ass dog will rush you
and then people are like, ah, they're cool.
Don't worry about it.
But they're like 30 feet away.
In the situation you're describing, I'm cool with it.
But in one where it's like at a park or whatever
and just a dog comes over and you're like, ah,
I tend not to like that.
And the owner's got some, God, it just kills me when they're just,
they're like, don't worry, bro.
They, you know, and you're like,
they voted for Biden.
Yeah, you're good.
Don't worry.
Yeah, you're fine with this.
It's sort of like a patronizing situation.
What's happening now you're good with?
Never thought about it like that.
That's true.
Hey, you're cool. Don't worry about it. That's a Paul F. Tompkins joke. A really funny Paul F. about it like that. That's true. Hey, you're cool.
Don't worry about it.
That's a Paul F. Thompson joke.
A really funny Paul F. Thompson.
That's very funny.
I think it's called Apologize for Your Dog on the track.
And it's like, how about how people will be like, he's all right.
And it's like, he's telling me he wants to murder me.
He's screaming.
Every single signal.
If a human being spoke to me the way this dog is speaking to me right now
he would be like
I am going to murder you
screaming
we're just
for all the listeners we're super pro your dog
in every situation
could you imagine us not liking your dog
are you out of your mind
I voted for him twice
we love your dog I have a picture of the pope and your dog in my you out of your mind? We are so, I voted for him twice. Absolutely. We love him. We love your dog. I actually have a picture of him. I have a picture of the Pope and your dog
in my kitchen and I'm Jewish. I have a locket with it. Yeah. You know, I don't vote. So exactly.
Well, that's all right. Yeah. Because of the dog, because of the dog, because he can't run
because he wasn't born in America. I vote for a different dog to cancel your dog vote out sometimes.
I won't get married.
My boyfriend and I live together,
and I won't get married until dogs can get married legally.
That's so beautiful.
I just think it's beautiful.
Thank you.
That's what my dad told my mom, too.
Yeah.
I know.
My boyfriend's in the other room shouting like,
I don't want to marry you.
Yeah.
You don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
You know?
So I like where you're coming from.
Sean Jordan is here.
Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram.
This is a weird way to start.
I'm in.
I like it.
I like just being like.
I don't understand how you don't always start this way.
Mid-conversation.
We do it with, we tend to start with a lot of pomp and circumstance.
And I'll start just so people don't feel weird.
Welcome to another brand new episode
of All Fantasy Everything.
No, it hurts now.
It's weird now. We're too in.
We're too in.
We just gotta be in.
It's like doing a cannonball into a hot tub.
It's just the math's not right.
Yeah. That can be alright
though. Cannonball into a hot tub?
Done it a couple times.
How big of a hot tub
you're talking about, dude?
It's been a while.
Oh, I don't know.
Hotel.
Not big.
I mean, you landed on the bottom.
Did it have water in it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it had a little water.
Some hot water.
Who's got that big hot tub?
Sorry to interrupt.
Madison, Wisconsin's
got that big hot tub.
Oh, yeah.
In the hotel that they put you in?
Yeah, I'm excited.
The hotel was just in Bend,
and they had two hot tubs in the same area.
I love a huge hot tub.
Make the hot tub pool-sized.
Make the pool hot tub sized.
Edgefield has a big hot tub river.
If you go to the hotel in Edgefield,
whatever, it's McMenamin's in Portland,
but they have a little lazy river,
but it's a hot tub. We are here to
talk about mostly McMenamin's properties.
I was just in
Colorado at some ski resort
and they had a whole pool size hot tub.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
They go crazy up there. They got one at Govey.
Anyway, March. Govey.
Government camp.
At the base of Mount Hood.
Are you talking about Juvenile?
Are you talking about Juvenile Hall?
Yeah, right?
It didn't sound like that. What are you saying?
Government camp, they call it Govey.
Who calls it Govey? I am born and
raised in Portland, Oregon.
All the snowboarders,
the people who go snowboarding on Mount Hood and stuff,
they call it Govey.
You made it sound like a prison work release.
It really does sound like an internment situation. Where they send
wayward young boys to learn to be men
on the mountain. Yeah, no.
The mountain will raise your child.
Don't mess with me. I came out of Govey.
Yeah. In Denver,
we call it the foot center, but same thing.
You'll get stabbed with a pencil.
We call it the boys ranch in South Dakota.
McCrossin's boys ranch.
Where's the girls ranch? I never heard of one, but the boys had one. dakota across his boys ranch that's what it was the girls ranch
yeah i never heard of one but the boys had one coyote ugly baby
they didn't give the girls a ranch they gave the boys i go to coyote ugly sometimes
yeah we were gonna go delicious kale salad it's right by it's right it's right by the movies that
i go to so it's like i walk to the movies and then like afterwards, you're like, maybe I'll go in there.
It's weird.
Alice Wedelund, what's your take on Dave and Buster's?
Honestly, ever since Dave got canceled.
You would have thought it would have been Buster.
Could you imagine?
I know.
Buster was the one who canceled him.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Dave was grooming Buster.
Dave was grooming Buster.
And Buster was like, you know, iconic. I don't know. Dave was grooming Buster. Dave was grooming Buster. And Buster was like,
you know, iconic. He goes, busted.
So I honestly don't, I don't have any
reference point
for Dave and Buster's.
You've never been to a Dave and Buster's? I've never been to a
Dave and Buster's. That's like, it's sort of like
adult Chuck E. Cheese. Is that?
That's exactly what it is. Should we all
pick up our laptops and go to individual Dave & Buster's right now?
I can't.
What?
Same one.
If I had a high-powered rifle,
I could hit a Dave & Buster's right now.
What?
Four thousand?
Should we all go to four different Dave & Buster's?
Why would we not just meet at one?
I love the idea of somebody working on their laptop
at Dave & Buster's.
The Wi-Fi is so good.
Like there's kids doing Papa Jot
and you're like, I'm writing
my novel.
I've got a Buster's Pass, so the coffee's free
and the Wi-Fi is great.
I pay a monthly fee, but it's great.
We were in Phoenix. Ian, I think it was you
when I went over and the
Papa Shot score was like 12 or something
and you're like, I got 46
before this. I'm like, I can't see that.
That was not me.
That was David. I'm like, I can't see that. That was not me. That was not me.
That was David.
I was like, I can just see the 12.
I did get 46.
Ice was with me.
Or no, Ice was with me.
Who else was with me?
Harper.
Harper was with you.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alice, the David Busters.
No, because I'm nice on the popping shot.
It is a bit of a grown-up Chuck E. Cheese,
but it's got, I mean, I would recommend at least going once.
Yeah.
It's way doper than Chuck E. Cheese
because the games work.
I mean, Chuck E. Cheese,
they're all,
they're all dusted.
I mean, you know what I mean?
Chuck E. Cheese's
haven't been updated in decades.
I see.
Dave and Buster's are like on point.
New games,
big games.
On point.
Big games.
Dave and Buster's.
They got like,
they got like Galaga
the size of the wall.
It all came about naturally,
but I just want to take a moment to acknowledge
that you said Dave and Buster's is on point.
I know, it's really weird.
Sean's always been like a cool,
but now that he's been sponsored by Dave and Buster's,
it's a little, now that he got that D&B sponsorship.
There will be some.
I'm an unathletic jock.
You're very athletic, man.
You tore tendon in your ankle skateboarding.
Ooh.
Yeah, but- You tore into the splits. I used to be able to. I have You tore tendon in your ankle skateboarding. Ooh. You wouldn't do the splits.
I used to be able to.
I have a torn tendon in my foot.
So, yeah, that's why it's hurt for the last couple of years.
My kink is torn tendons.
Anyway, I got to say, March 21st, girl death.
Kim Busters has really good torn tendons, too.
My hour.
Oh, yeah.
My hour long.
Three different sauces, and those all come with it.
So you don't even have to pay extra for the sauces.
I'm trying desperately to get your plug out.
I'm really trying.
Isaac, until it happens,
just go ahead and put peaches over all this
stuff. That Bieber song.
March 21st. I will be
at Revolution Hall. I had a feeling
it was going to be like this. Yeah.
I did. March 21st.
You just understand that this creates more
pomp and circumstance around
the special dropping, right? Exactly.
When you finally get it out, it's going to be like,
oh, here we go. What a release.
We're basically edging your special right now.
I can feel it. On March
21st on Patreon, Girl Dad
will come out. It's $10
on Patreon and
the first week sales benefit me
tremendously. So if somewhere in between March
21st and 28th, that helps me out tremendously. And there's also... I started the Patreon page.
I'm releasing a behind-the-tracks podcast of my first album, breaking it down track by track.
And I plan on expanding it as soon as it's special. But for right now, it's free. And if
you go to my Patreon page,
you just hit the Join for Free button,
which wasn't there for a few days.
It was a tiny little error.
It's there now.
Join for free.
You will get any content I put out
up through a week after the special being out.
So March 21st through the 28th,
everything on there is going to be free.
And it is very important.
The sales to me the first week are extremely important.
So take this free podcast and run with it
just so you have some content to listen to, you know,
so like you go there, you can listen to all that.
It's you and Bruce Springsteen hosting the Behind the Tracks podcast, right?
Me and the boss.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
I got a lot of people on there.
You know what was going through your head
when you were talking about the vasectomy here?
I can't.
No, this is the old album, dude.
I'm listening to the old album and doing a podcast about it.
The old, old one. Yeah, yeah. The first one from dude. I'm listening to the old album and doing a podcast about it. Oh, the old one. The old, old one.
Yeah, yeah.
The first one from 2019.
What was on that one?
Just kind of breaking it.
It was me losing my virginity when I was 13, Zach.
And I talked about that for an hour.
He's been on a few of the episodes.
We got like two minutes into the track and then it was like, oh, this has been an hour.
Wait, you've recorded?
You haven't asked either of us to be on it?
Or any of the three of us, by the way?
Yeah.
Four of us?
Because he's here. We just go do it. I would love it if you came on. I feel bad asking you us to be on it? Or any of the three of us, by the way? Yeah. Four of us? Because he's here.
We just go do it.
I would love it if you came on.
I feel bad asking you guys to be on other stuff.
I would love to do it.
Are you kidding me?
I don't want to do it now.
Talk of shit.
I wanted to be on the virginity track.
You know how much I love that story.
Yeah.
David does love that story.
And you are really funny to me.
There's so much of it.
I could have you on and tell a whole nother.
Because we probably covered 20 minutes of the actual night in the out. There's so much of it. I haven't told, I could have you on and tell a whole nother,
because I, we probably covered 20 minutes of the actual night in the out.
Cause you just talking about not the act,
you know what I mean?
But I'm saying like,
what the fuck is that?
I'm not letting Alice do this alone.
All right.
Anyway,
I put a beret on just for everyone.
Yeah.
Oh,
Isaac,
do me a solid,
clean that up as best you can.
Do not dude. Make it dirtier. Dirtier yeah. Isaac, do me a solid. Clean that up as best you can. Do not, dude.
Make it dirtier.
Dirtier it up.
Pour some olive juice
in that bitch.
Make it glitch out.
Yeah.
March 21st
on Patreon.
It's on all my socials
and everything.
I'll be posting about it.
We're making trailers.
So there it is.
That.
And once again,
the special is called
Call Me Tater Salad.
Yeah.
It comes out the day
after Shane's comes out
in about two years, December 24th,
2026, the day after
Shane Torres releases the green-eyed
Mexican. So, yes.
Why'd you pause like that?
Why'd I what? Why'd you pause like that?
You said the green-eyed
Mexican.
Because I was going to say,
I was trying to think of a different acceptable nationality.
He was trying to think of another word that he wanted to call. I was trying, I was going to think of a different acceptable nationality. He was trying to think of another word that he wanted to call.
I was trying. I was going to be like,
what can I say that is the equivalent?
And I couldn't think of any, so I said Mexican.
And then I paused
so it sounded like I didn't want to say Mexican.
That's exactly how it sounded.
It's not what's going on.
It did feel like there was a
meeting in your brain where you're like,
Mexican's fine, right?
You can say Mexican, right?
And they're apparently like, yeah, they're from Mexico.
I'm still shook from Chocolate City yesterday.
The clipboard guy's like, I don't know.
I'm not sure.
What's the context?
What other options you got, Sean?
Was yesterday when you said Chocolate City
and got uncomfortable?
Yeah, that was yesterday.
I was talking about Chocolate City and got uncomfortable? Yeah, that was yesterday. I was talking about Chocolate City.
I didn't, I was just, I second guessed myself.
I tapped the brakes for a second.
I just had to send an email because I'm going to be in Chicago
and like at the Lincoln Lodge in, I don't know, July.
It's not time for your plugs yet.
Are you backdooring a plug right now?
I'm backdooring a plug.
I thought that was pretty good.
That was great.
That was very smooth.
I'm wearing a beret now.
No, because this is what happened.
They sent me in a variety of dates
to do this one night, possibly two night.
And I was like, it's four dates in July.
I don't have anything going on.
So I'm like, I guess this one,
I just picked one at random.
And then my agent got back to me like,
sorry,
that's booked.
I'm like,
what?
Like what?
Why is it whack-a-mole?
So I was just like,
can you just pick a day right now so I can promote it by the end of this podcast I'm on?
Just pick one.
We just slide it in whenever.
I did the same thing to you,
by the way.
I was like, hey, you want to come on the show?
And then you said yes, and I was like, oh, we booked it. You did.
You did the exact same thing.
But I understood that that was a fun bit between
good friends that speak frequently.
Yeah, I was lying.
We're in cahoots with your agent.
I'm actually at cahoots.
It's fun to be in cahoots. I'm represented by cahoots.
Oh, you're at cahoots? You're at cahoots in Swartz-Perlstein? I at Cahoots It's fun to be in Cahoots I'm represented by Cahoots Oh you're at Cahoots
You're at Cahoots
I got Cahoots at the hotel
I stayed at in Bend
Cahoots is my chocolate city
I don't know if I'm supposed to say
No we're not supposed to say Cahoots for sure
What?
What does it mean?
Really?
Cahoots is a suburb
Does it mean
I'm supposed to say that
It's still getting recorded
Even if you whisper
Isaac turn that part up Where David was whispering Turn that up You can't I was supposed to say that It's still getting recorded Even if you whisper Okay that's fine
That can't be true
Turn that part up
Where David was whispering
Turn that up
So it sounds like
He was screaming
Make it AI
So that it sounds like
He shouted it
Shouted it like
Tom Hanks
Yeah
David Moore is here
Cool
Do you have any other
Dates you would like to promote
This comes out this Thursday
Is that what you're telling me
You told me a year From this right A week A week from? This comes out this Thursday? Is that what you're telling me? You're telling me a year from today?
A week from today this comes out.
No, no.
March 23rd, I'll be at Rev Hall with my good buddy.
That's mad, dude.
That's rad.
Also, we'll be in Boise.
Oh yeah, Boise, March 21st.
We're going to be in Boise all day doing a lot of
all-fans and everything.
The Boise back in town. Back in Boise. Idaho. The boys are coming to Boise. The boys are back in town.
The boys are back in Boise.
Town.
Fuck.
March 21st at the Egyptian Theater
as part of Comedy Fort.
Oh, shit.
An extension of the Tree Fort
Arts and Music Festival
in Boise, Idaho.
Hold on.
We're actually part of
Pod Fort Dipshit.
I'll go fuck myself.
It hurts getting called a dipshit
when you're wearing a beret
because it is partially true. Yeah, that's true. It's at least a little bit true when you're wearing a beret because it is partially true
it's at least a little bit true if you're wearing a beret
especially when I got a juice shirt on
I got juice now
it's for Mott's apple just for all the listeners
I got an apple juice shirt on
it's not OJ Simpson
no it's not
he's wearing OJ Simpson pants
where is OJ Juicers
Sean's got a juicer shirt sick Sean he's wearing OJ's big shirt OJ juicers
Sean's got a juicer shirt
sick Sean
you can play baseball and football
David Borey is here
coolguyjokes87 on Instagram
I don't have any dates
nothing to promote
Royal Crackers
watch Royal Crackers on Max
yeah don't worry about me
oh
in a good way Max. Yeah. Don't worry about me.
In a good way.
He's walking away bashfully from the microphone.
He's walking away bashfully.
Where can people find you in Southeast
Asia? Whoa.
I was gone. I wonder if he knew
that was going to shut it off.
He really is gone.
Did he close his laptop? Is that what happened?
I think so.
I think he closed it.
He's a funny dude.
He's been funny this
whole time.
He's been funny this whole time and he remains funny.
It kicked me all the way out
for the bit. I thought it was going to be
100% what it was.
It probably stopped the recording.
It stopped the recording. Your. It stopped the recording.
Your seven-hour-long recording has finally ended.
Yeah, it did stop the recording.
You shut your computer yesterday
and it kept recording.
Huh?
Right?
Yeah, that's...
No, I didn't turn...
I didn't shut it yesterday.
I just logged off the shit.
Isn't it annoying that we have to press record
when the government's always listening?
Does the government just send files? Please us out give us something what are my tax dollars doing exactly the government please put captions on and release
it at whatever optimal times are for the algorithm could the government pick the best
crowd work bit that i did and send it automatically to social platforms.
That would be sick for us.
In theory,
in theory, I pay taxes on all this money.
So,
you know,
let's put that,
let's put that money to work and just release all this for us.
Omit the,
in theory,
pardon,
just,
yeah,
I also pay taxes for all the money I make.
Yeah,
we all do.
And that is established and factual.
You can look it up.
Jason government's listening to this.
I met him at GovCamp,
whatever it's called.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp, bro.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
GovCamp.
You were fucking hitting the nar, bro.
I was fucking,
it was such a paladin.
Yeah.
You know,
there's a place called ZigZag up there too.
I do.
ZigZag and GovCamp, dude. I do. ZigZag and Govie, dude.
I do.
I do.
Alice Wetterland is here.
At Alice Wetterland on X, on Twitter,
on Mastodon,
on Instagram as well. Threads and Instagram and TikTok.
Threads and Sepultura.
Early adopter here was able to get the first
Alice Wetterland, although it's such a common name these days.
I know six Alice Wetterlins.
I mean, yeah.
Everybody names their kids that.
This is Alice Wetterlin month on AFE
where each week we're doing a different Alice Wetterlin.
All those dogs are named Alice Wetterlin.
Stand-up comedian,
actor extraordinaire,
resident alien,
getting like Netflix,
loving it.
Loving it right now.
Top 10 show.
Dreaming like crazy.
And I found out that it's actually like top 10 in like seven countries right now.
Which seven?
And what are their politics? I will find out for you, actually, if you need to be a real nitpicker over here.
Okay.
You didn't find out for yourself.
I would have known.
I don't give a shit.
I would have found out in a heartbeat.
I'd have flight spots to all those countries by now.
It says,
we're talking Austria,
Belgium. Yes.
We're talking Denmark,
Estonia,
we're only eight.
Finland.
Actually, we kind of have to wrap
this up if you're only eight in Estonia.
They're fucking Luddites.
We're number two in Germany,
and that's what matters.
Switzerland, number four.
Germany loves number two,
from what I hear.
It's true.
And they can't get enough.
Ah, the poop stuff.
Who said mine shites?
I wasn't ready for that to get me.
It's a poop joke, sorry. They haven't picked us up yet for a second
for a season which is really funny
because like they usually pick us up
in the first couple episodes air when they
are going to and this time they haven't
and like but now we're top 10
they're like oh we're gonna wait
and see yeah
okay well we've never done this well
yeah we didn't know do we
it seems like we know you got them over a barrel now I feel like Yeah. Okay, well, we've never done this well. Yeah, we didn't know. Do we not know?
It seems like we know.
You got them over a barrel now, I feel like.
It's how it always works.
Give them a number two.
Yeah, give them a number two.
Yeah, we'll just go to Germany.
Let's get those Estonian numbers up and see what that does.
We're going to see what Belgium says in the next couple.
Okay.
As a man wearing a beret, I can tell you that Belgium says yes.
Belgium says yes. Belgium says yes.
Did you have that for this or was that just near you anyways?
You've had that for a while.
You've known me for long enough to know that I'm never more than five feet from a beret.
If I'm in my home.
Yeah.
If I'm in my home.
Under the couch.
Yeah, it's like emergency berets.
Like they're taped under desks and stuff.
Yeah. Behind the toilet. you got a trap door you just like bonk a cabinet and the beret pops out yeah if i twist my lamp one way turns on if i turn it the other way beret falls out of the ceiling
i've seen you forget your keys and then you just grab your beret and just like shove it in the lock
yeah and it works yeah it works what would you Alice, what would you like to point people towards?
So, what?
I don't want to plug anything that's not why I'm here.
Come on.
Okay, I guess if I had to, I have a, go to my website and I have things that are linked there.
But mainly, I'm doing this show, Resident Alien.
I love it.
And it's four more episodes going up. And then mainly, I'm doing this show, Resident Alien. I love it. And it's four more episodes
going up.
And then also,
I'm streaming.
I'm streaming on the Twitch.
And I stream there
twice a week.
And I've,
I gotta say, guys,
I love it.
Joe Biden here.
What do you love?
I love it.
Joe Biden.
First of all,
what's your website?
What?
My website,
alicewetterland.com.
Also got that one early.
In early adopter. Like swimwear. Yeah. Second of all, what's your website? What? My website, alicewetterlin.com. Also got that one early. In early adopter.
Yeah.
Second of all, what is streaming?
Obsessed.
So you can play games or you can just sit there and talk.
And like, I thought, I started doing it during the pandy and I was like, okay, this is what
I'll do stand-up comedy on Twitch or whatever.
And I dabbled.
And then I started doing it really like regularly about six months ago.
And I was like, this is going to be whatever.
It's just going to be like people who are like gamer bros being like, get good, get good noob.
And then it was the best.
Like it was like the greatest sweetest people
I've had people come to my stream and make
friends with each other
we're like we're gonna learn word
working together like so
they're all not dweebs like that but
it's really great
one of them sent me a sweater
that she thrifted
I have it I'll pull it up later
and it's just the greatest,
like people on Twitch say things like,
we got the greatest community ever.
And I'm like,
that's so cheesy and corny.
And then like three months in,
I was like,
I love this community.
Like I dig it.
Nothing wrong with that.
Do you play games on there?
Yeah.
Right now I'm playing,
I'm still playing Zelda tears of the kingdom,
even though everybody else has moved on to other games.
I'm just playing it as slowly of the Kingdom even though everybody else has moved on to other games I'm just playing it as
slowly as hell and then
I'm probably going to play
Stardew Valley after that
but Chongo
Chongo dude
I'm like I'm just doing
like I'm trying to do other things besides gaming
I'm trying to do like little talk show shit
and stuff like that I just love it like it's really
it's really my bag.
So I stream and I also have a podcast.
You can go to mostlyfans.net and subscribe to Treks in the City, which is my other podcast.
Is that about Czechoslovakians or cereal or money or?
I've never heard of Mostly Fans.
And balances.
Mostlyfans.net.
That's kind of my podcasting hub.
I'm trying to make it my Twitch hub too
because I came with MostlyFans
and then I go to stand-up shows and I'm like
so just say MostlyFans.net
and they're like great sounds good
she's on OnlyFans
I guess
a lot of stand-up comedians are on OnlyFans now
yeah you gotta
they keep cutting that check
we gotta get something going
how are we supposed
to live? Hand and mouth over here.
Go to all those places. Anyway, go to all
those places. Watch Alice Twitch.
Watch Alice Twitch.
There's certain ways to say it.
That work
better than others. All of you
men, watch Alice Twitch.
My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel across platform,
Twitter,
Instagram,
Tik TOK,
YouTube,
all of those places.
Uh,
you can,
Oh,
so several things,
my book,
t-shirt swim club.
Uh,
you can preorder it now.
It comes out June 11th.
You can preorder audio book,
physical copy.
We got a starred review from Kirkus,
which I'm being told is incredibly rare
and a big honor.
So that's awesome.
So people like the book.
Roxanne Gay read the book and loved it.
If that means anything to you.
It does.
Does she like it more or less than Fast and the Furious?
She liked it less.
Far, far less than Fast and the Furious.
That's a high bar.
That's a high bar.
She gave it four stars out of five. And I think she gave Fast and the Furious. That's a high bar. She gave it four stars out of five, and I think
she gave Fast and the Furious ten stars out of
five. She loves Fast and the Furious.
Fast and the Furious gets Coronas in a bucket, so like,
you know, six Coronas out of ten in a bucket.
Yeah. Shea Serrano read it
and loved it. Like, we got, you know, these are
the people we got blurbs from.
Seth Meyers, all these people.
One of the leading researchers
into body neutrality and youth.
My sister would be better at this part.
Fat kid science.
Also, Dom Toretto loved it.
Dom Toretto also, it's the only book he's ever read, That and The Art of War.
Those are the two books on his shelf.
A bunch of empty Coronas.
He reads Popular Mechanics, I bet. That's not a book, my friend. That's his shelf. A bunch of empty Coronas. He reads Popular Mechanics.
That's not a book, my friend. That's a magazine.
It's a book to him.
You know that's not about car mechanics, right?
No.
What? Popular Mechanics?
I thought it was like auto trader or something.
I thought it was about mechanics that were just
unbelievably popular. I'm sure you're
right.
I thought it was about cars.
Mechanic of the month.
Craig.
Yeah.
And they just had a lot of friends.
That is what it is.
He's a really good listener.
It's like,
I'm Craig.
I'm a popular mechanic.
And everybody walks,
he walks into a bar and it was like,
Craig's area.
They go nuts.
He's not even really good.
He's not that good at repairing cars either.
He's not that good. He always either. He's not that good.
He always forgets.
He's like righty tighty.
And we're like, yes, Craig, righty tighty.
But he's just a good tight guy.
And lefty tighter?
Left, no.
Does that make sense, Craig?
And he's like, I'm new to it.
That's why he's popular.
It's funny.
Yeah, popular mechanics is like,
this is how jets work and shit like that.
It's funny how people who read Popular Mechanics are never popular.
No, they tend not to. Well, I mean
along their circles of engineers. Oh, I guess
that's true. Hey, cut that out.
Isaac
magnified it. I don't want to alienate any kind
of audience.
Yeah, we have a lot of engineers who listen.
Yeah, we're a big engineering podcast.
Rude boy, maybe. That's about
it.
Three people who topped out
at pre-algebra.
On subscribe.
Actually, I don't know how.
Sean and David, I actually don't know how. Were you guys good at math?
God, no.
I made it up through algebra too.
You did?
Next would have been trigonometry, I think.
I never got to trig.
I think I did algebra 1
I don't know
I did make it beyond pre-algebra but I struggled
Laura made it through all of them
that you can get like calculus and trig
and all that stuff
by the time she got to the senior year of high school
they had run out of math
for her to do
that's the opposite I had to start back
I'm like you know what i think
let's go back to the foundations and visit because i think no i didn't take geometry
and everybody in there was like aren't you 18 yeah you're just smoking cigarettes outside like
i can't hear you out here when i went to college shapes man i had to take algebra i had to take algebra 101 because
i didn't or no algebra 01 because i didn't qualify enough to get a college credit level course on my
act's so i had to take an intro to algebra and it was i got in there in college and it was like
a plus two equals three it was that kind of shit i was like man you guys you really because i i
understood that but it's like this is where I'm at.
I still maintain that the concept of algebra is the most difficult thing I've ever learned
in my life.
So stupid.
Like when they threw letters in, I was like, I, you ever get into that?
What are you doing here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What the fuck is this?
I smoke weed.
Yeah.
I'm a popular mechanic.
Give me one or the other.
Pre-order my book, T-Shirt Swim Club.
It helps a ton. If you pre-order it, it helps
tremendously. And if you're
able to do that, I really appreciate it.
I'm so excited about your book, Ian. Let me just say that.
Thank you very much. I'm excited about it.
I hope the publisher makes their money back
and I get to write more books. I would really love that.
It sounds like you are good at writing books,
according to all the blurbs.
Me and my little sister out there writing books.
Oh, that's the other thing.
I wrote about it from a comedic perspective.
She's a clinical psychologist and comes in after every essay and writes about it from that perspective.
I am at the punchline in San Francisco right now.
As you're listening to this, I did a show last night.
I have one tonight.
Please come out to my shows at the Punchline in San Francisco.
As of two weeks ago, I was selling terribly and got an email.
Love that email.
Love that email.
Where I'm like, I'm doing what I can.
Yeah, dude.
It's raining.
It's raining. What am I supposed to dude. It's raining. It's raining.
What am I supposed to do?
It's raining.
Also, people will come.
I liked when,
I don't know why there's not shock jock radio
in the mornings at every club anymore.
That's my favorite thing to do.
We fucking did in Phoenix.
We just did in Phoenix.
I love that thing.
You get up your foot and go.
It was.
You're so tired.
I didn't believe that we could say
almost all the stuff
we said
everything they said
I was like
we're on the radio
like real radio right
like there's people
in the car
I mean they were
it was
we were swearing
instead
am I crazy
we were
we're not swearing
we didn't swear
we were just talking
about sex
we weren't saying
any of the words
you can't say
graphic stuff
it was fine until the end.
It was fine until it wasn't.
M. Night Shyamalan directed this radio
hit because right at the end,
the twist was one of the most
shock jock radio twists
of all time.
I almost don't even want to repeat it because it felt
so mean. It sucked.
It sucked. But like up until
that, I was like, oh, this is actually kind of fun.
And these guys seem all right.
You know?
And then like.
It was punching down.
What he said.
He said, I'm not going to buy your special on Patreon March 21st.
And we're like, I was mean of you, dude.
My plugs, bro.
I was just shoehorning it in because I didn't get it.
I don't think I got a solid sentence.
I was just trying to get it.
Absolutely you did.
Absolutely you did.
Nobody buy that special.
Which comes out March 21st on Patreon.
Help Sean out.
Get it there.
It's only $10.
Make sure you pick it up.
It's called Girl Dad.
I was at both the tapings
and it was phenomenal.
Some of the best stand-up comedy
I've seen in my entire life.
I loved it
and I'd seen all those jokes
several times already.
I laughed earnestly
and I don't do that a whole lot.
And you can too at home.
Is it weird that I feel bad now?
Because you just did all that during yours.
That's why I did it.
To make you feel bad.
You think I did that out of the friendship?
No, maybe.
I had like a radio, like,
sound I was going to do during,
I can't find it though,
because I was going to be like,
stillbirth.
I don't know what things
could be really graphic. Feel free to drop it at any point during the podcast. I can't find it though. Cause I was going to be like, stillbirth. I don't know what things would be really graphic.
Feel free to drop it at any point during the podcast.
I can't find it.
All I have is,
uh,
I'm at the punchline and tickets are hot.
Can you hear me?
Sorry.
What was that?
Was that a British man?
British guy?
Steven,
this is Clem Fandango.
Can you hear me?
You have a servant?
It's his butler.
Do you have a British robot that serves you?
Is that a resident alien soundboard or something?
Love all the attention, fellas.
Thank you for that.
Nikki Haley.
Come on, man.
Joe Biden.
Is this a Twitch thing where you just have like a soundboard?
Yeah, kind of.
Whenever I feel like I need to have something.
And every once in a while, you
always got to pull out this.
There is nothing more celebratory
than that sound. I like that a lot.
Yeah, that was good.
Yeah, anyways. I wonder how Isaac
feels about it. It is a hot ticket at
Punchline. They're going fast. There might
be a couple left. I don't know. If you live in
San Francisco and you're not at the Punchline
every weekend, you need to
re-examine.
You know,
unpopular mechanics, they don't go to the Punchline.
The popular ones...
They go to Cobb's.
The popular ones go to the Punchline.
They queue up early.
And they do say queue up because they're all British.
It's a good time.
Punchline's one of my favorite clubs.
I love it so much.
It's so fun.
I know I'm already having a good time.
I'm indifferent.
The audiences are smart.
If you go and you're not smart, that's okay.
The rest of the audience will understand the joke for you.
Yeah.
Most of the time.
That's exactly right.
Come out to the shows if you're anywhere in the Bay Area.
Next weekend. Boy, we're 45 minutes into this. Yeah. Oh of the time. That's exactly right. Come out to the shows if you're anywhere in the Bay Area. Next weekend.
Boy, we're 45 minutes into this.
Yeah.
Oh, 36.
Let's end it.
Let's wrap it up, actually.
To March 23rd,
I am recording my special to me
at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon.
The first show sold out.
Tickets available for the second one.
I know it's late.
I know it's late.
But come out and have a beautiful late time. It's just me and Sean.
It's a Saturday. It's a Saturday,
baby. Come out, and we're going to be celebrating
afterwards. You want to see me cry. If
that's any kind of a selling point, you'll
see it. Guaranteed. There will be
exclusive Trollblazer merch made just
for the show. There's going to be some
fun surprises. It's going to be
a blast. Ian calls me ugly in the green
room so much to get me to cry a lot of times. He's just to, it's going to be a blast. Ian calls me ugly in the green room so much. So to get me to cry a lot of times,
he's just like,
you're ugly.
You're funny,
but you're ugly.
And I'm like,
well,
I like one of those things.
And then I go out and I cry,
but I'm funny.
So it'll be a really good show.
It's funny.
I don't think,
I don't think you're ugly.
If you told me,
I was funny.
As long as you said I was funny,
any other insult that went,
Oh,
you have no moral compass,
but you're funny.
I'd be like,
okay, that's cool. As long as you put it in there. All right. Then the, yeah, you have no moral compass, but you're funny. I'd be like, okay,
that's cool.
As long as you put it in there.
All right.
Then the,
yeah, let's go to lunch.
I guess I think I would actually like that more.
Cause I would know they were being sincere.
Cause it's like,
Oh,
you said something very cutting,
but also you said I was funny.
So you mean it.
Yeah.
Big whore.
You're funny.
Yeah.
Big,
funny whore.
Big whore.
But you make me laugh.
Come on now.
Big whore. What else? Uh,. Come on now. Big whore.
What else?
Oh, and then, God, I'm really stumbling through this.
I have other dates as well.
I'm going to be at the Moontower Comedy Festival.
Ooh.
April 17th through the 20th, back in Austin, Texas. Why am I not doing that?
Alice is going to be there too.
I'm going to yell at my agents at Cahoots.
Scream at them.
And then I'm going to be in Burlington, Vermont,
May 2nd through the 4th.
I'm very excited about that.
Going to Burlington.
I've never been before.
I'm very excited.
Somebody's coming down from Ottawa, they told me.
And you ought to come too.
There it is.
Ottawa to be it.
That's what kind of manly folks.
And then this hasn't been confirmed yet,
but I feel fairly safe saying it
because the offer came through yesterday.
I will be at Comedy on State
in Madison, Wisconsin,
May 9th through the 11th.
So come see that as well.
Are you doing any shitty clubs?
This sounds like a dream tour to me.
No, I am at a very privileged
place right now where I'm only
doing the most fun clubs.
Come on, you gotta do some bad
stuff. I did the bad one.
I did that.
I don't want to say the names of the bad ones.
That's why it's fun to make them up.
You guys know I did the bad ones.
The humorous club.
The chuckle fucks in Edmonton, Ohio know I did the bad one. The humorous club. The chuckle fucks in Edmonton,
Ohio. I did the
bad guys in the movie The Lion King
club in
you know, outside of Dallas
recently. So I'm
putting the time in.
I didn't get it. I get it.
I still had a great, great time at that show
by the way, so I'm not even convinced.
Isaac just got back, probably assuming we were halfway into this draft.
We haven't even started yet.
No, no.
Yeah.
I heard you guys yell out big whore.
Big whore.
We were trying to get you back here.
So we're like, Isaac, we got a big whore on you.
Yeah, there's a real whore.
Somebody's showing their nipples.
We got a big whore.
This comes out next week?
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. I wonder if we can announce these dates yet
we can't
do you think we should?
for the FETO?
I'm not
confirmed?
I'm not sure
I'm gonna go get some coffee
you can say them
and if they are not confirmed
by next
Wednesday. They're confirmed.
Hold on. Let me look them up.
There is some stuff you'll have to cut out already.
So if you've been gone the whole time, there's a few
things. I messaged you about it, Zeke.
We've been writing stuff down.
Yeah.
Okay, so
here
is what we have confirmed so far with a caveat.
We're sorry to the American Southeast.
We're planning on coming and the American West Coast.
We are planning on coming, hopefully at the end of the summer.
But this is what we're doing right now.
In June, we're hitting the road.
We are going to be at the Bell House in New York City, June 11th
and June 13th.
Now there's a day in between.
That's fine. Ain't nobody going to care.
Apparently that show's not 100%
confirmed yet, but we're going to be somewhere in Philadelphia.
Yeah, June 12th.
June 12th, we're going to be somewhere in Philadelphia.
We will be at the Black Cat
in Washington, D.C. on June 14th.
Going back to the Black Cat. Yeah..C. on June 14th going back to the Black Cat
the site of
my most embarrassing story ever
gonna have another night in Chocolate City
now I just say it
Isaac turned that down
a little bit
and then we are working on June
15th another
show hopefully hopefully for God's sake we we will be in Toronto, Canada.
T-Dot.
T-Dot.
We're working on nailing down the venue.
You saw me tweet about it the other day.
We're trying to come there.
And then the following week, we'll be at the Roxy at Mahal's in Cleveland, Ohio.
That's on June.
What did I just say?
19th.
And then the Magic Bag
in Ferndale, Michigan, right outside
of Detroit, we're returning to that venue on
June 20th. Then we will
be at the King of Clubs in Columbus, Ohio
June 21st.
And the Parkway Theater in
Minneapolis, Minnesota, June
22nd. And we
also have a Chicago date
dropping somewhere in there.
And Boston, if I'm not mistaken. And a Boston
date. Which I thought
was confirmed. Details to come.
Details to come. But we're coming to all
those places. We're doing a lot of shows.
There might even be some
Pittsburgh movement in there.
Everybody's going to Pittsburgh
all the time. I went twice
last year. I've never been. You haven't been to Pittsburgh? I've never been to Pittsburgh all the time I went twice last year
I've never been
I've never been to Pittsburgh
the only time I go there and I have lunch
with Bill Tower at the airport and then I leave
that's true I do know that for a fact
I don't really get to go in town at all
Lynn Swan shows up sometimes
stay tuned
for further details on that how to order tickets
and then also for
further announcements
about us coming to perhaps Texas and Georgia.
Further.
In the West Coast later in the summer.
All right, enough.
Enough.
We're out of time.
We're out of time.
We got to wrap it up.
We are here not to just announce dates
and do promotions and discuss,
you know, various big whores,
but also to fantasy draft fashion trends.
Fashion trends.
This is Alice's idea.
I mean, I had a lot of ideas,
and you picked fashion trends.
Let's be clear.
I didn't just say bows and barrettes.
I said other things, too.
There were.
So we know.
Well, the one I was kind of disappointed you didn't pick was
can I say it? Yes please. Is it
special Doomsday draft team which Netbo babies
would you choose to write at the apocalypse?
Yeah it's pretty funny.
You know because I love Doomsday draft
team like I love doing that with any group
of people and I was
thinking Netbo babies because you don't know
who's going to be useful.
Which ones are actually like...
Wyatt Russell.
You think Wyatt Russell?
Uh-huh.
He's an athlete.
He's hilarious.
That's a really good one.
He'd be fun to hang out with.
Of course.
That makes total sense.
I was thinking that guy
from The Bear.
Oh, that John...
What's his name?
Jeremy Allen White.
Is he a Netbo baby?
Yeah.
He's Willy Wonka's...
Tons.
Something.
He looks like the guy who played Willy Wonka's tons something he looks like the guy
who played
he looks like
Gene Wilder
we can't just say
because he looks like
Gene Wilder
he is Gene Wilder's
descendant
I would take
Clay Thompson
genius
anyway
we're doing
the other one
that I suggested
because I'm at
the punchline this weekend
you can see me in San Francisco
shout out to Steph Curry as well
while we're at it.
Andrew Wiggins.
Well, there's a lot of
sports nepo babies.
I'm glad that I didn't
pick that one actually
because now I'm just realizing,
yeah, you just choose athletes.
What we are drafting
is fashion trends.
Oh, yeah, it's a good one too.
The way we determine
the order of this draft
is through a rollicking game
of rock, paper, scissors.
Play between the three of you
and we throw on shoot.
Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, am I supposed to do one?
Alice has decided not to run.
I didn't realize what.
Okay, so you did paper.
David, Sean's got scissors.
And now I'm going to choose mine.
I think I'll go with.
Oh, this is how.
Wow.
Interesting.
I'm going to go with paper as well.
See, I could have chosen rock, but I...
Sean wins.
Weird. I don't know how that happened.
Sean, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors,
perhaps our most contentious
game ever, it is incumbent
upon you to determine the order of today's draft.
Before you do that, I will remind you it is a
serpentine draft. And what is...
Yes. Correct. That's a great question. What's happening? I think the sound may have cut out. draft before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is uh yes oh correct
that's a great question what's happening it's when i i think david i think the sound may have cut out
but it is when i i just mao corn on the cob i mao it like a typewriter i go left to right and then i
just turn it a little bit and then i mao right to left yeah chairman then i turn a little bit and
then i mao left to right so just back and forth and I go nuts on that corn on the cob until they kick me
out of the fair. And then I'm like,
I paid five bucks to get into this fair.
I'm staying. And it's a whole thing.
It's March
21st. It's on Patreon. It's only
$10 and you're going to have
at least $60 worth of laughs and I guarantee
that personally.
I guarantee that personally.
It's going to get me through the red eye tonight, baby. Sean now sean with that in mind what will the order of today's draft be
i want to go first all right okay i want to talk about me yeah i just think i have some pretty
pedestrian picks uh because i'm not a big fashionista so alliteration uh yeah alice second david third ian fourth hot corner but spelled h-a-u-t-e
h-a-u-t-e now that's what's up with that my number two joke i'm fucking on fire right now
as far as things as far as like jokes where people say ah but don't necessarily laugh yeah yeah
think about it later and be like i like that guy yeah he's all right i'm gonna go uh perform isaac
telling us that jeremy allen white is not related to Gene Wilder.
That's because you looked on
Google and not the Darknet.
Exactly. That's why I didn't participate in the rock paper scissors.
I got distracted by that.
Have I been fooled by the internet
once again? You need to look on the
dark web. Sir Buzz Killington coming
through with the harsh fact.
She's like, man, I just woke up.
Here's the harsh fact. I don't like I just woke up. Here's the harsh fact.
I don't like it. I'm going back to bed.
I have no filter right now.
Now he's coming through with the harsh truth and then we're
going to come through with the first pick
right after this
short break.
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And we're back.
Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything.
Come see us in Boise.
Come to Boise.
I wish I could. Yeah, maybe I'll wear one of my picks. I got an idea. Come see us in Boise come to Boise I wish I could maybe I'll wear one of my picks
come see us in Boise
I want this to change
I pick this because I wanted
I want my dude
friends to be not intimidated
by fashion
I want it to be a fun arena
fashion is intimidated by me
ooh okay okay I see you come through want it to be a fun arena. Fashion is intimidated by me. Ooh, okay.
Okay.
I see you come through.
Yeah.
And the size and for a long time, the size of my body.
Yeah.
I, that's another reason I picked this.
Cause I love to talk about size, inclusivity and fashion.
Yeah.
We will get in.
Like I have a, I have deep issues with, I think that I'm very ugly.
And so like I.
So stupid.
Very is the wrong word. Very is the wrong word.
And stupid is the wrong word and I'm sorry
for saying that. It's so silly
because you are so gorgeous.
Thank you. But with fashion, so it's like I didn't
I never made a lot of moves. So when I did
That's not true.
So we'll get into it.
We'll get into it.
Can I pick the first pick?
We know you.
And tell me if I can do this, but I'm picking
TLC
cross colors. You know what I mean?
Cross colors the way that TLC
did. Yes, that's the way
that TLC did cross colors because that video
that was like the
first time where I was like, I want to dress
exactly like everyone in the
video. All of TLC, all the dudes, where I was like, I want to dress exactly like everyone in the video. All of TLC, all
the dudes, because it was roughly
the same. It was really androgynous.
Covered in condoms. Covered in jimmies.
All colors. Yeah.
Huge shit. Huge.
Huge shit. And I'm not
going to... If I have to take a specific
cross-colored item, it's the
gigantic colored pants.
I think you can say cross-colored.
That's a fashion trend unto itself.
Well, oh, a dissent.
I mean, it absolutely was.
If I'm going to be here to pick this topic and make the rules,
I would need you to nail down a specific trend within the cross-colored
because cross-colored technically is a fashion line.
So if we're going to do designers or fashion houses or fashion lines,
it would be cross colors.
We,
if you want to go into big,
giant color blocking pants as worn by TLC,
that would be the trend.
Gigantic cross color pants,
specifically turquoise,
yellow,
and orange.
Those were the ones that stuck out to me.
I had the turquoise ones.
I had orange cross color shorts that were massive, but yeah, I'm picking the jeans to me.
Just still the dopest. I just love huge jeans. Yeah. Can't really do it anymore because I'm old,
but I beg to differ, but yes, I appreciate it. But when you watch that video, I don't know. It
just, the logo, the cross colors logo, I even like looking at,
it just makes me feel happy.
It just reminds me of like how stoked I was on that.
All these hot Australian dads in Atwater village who are walking around with
like,
uh,
symmetrical haircuts and everything,
but they're wearing big pants,
dude.
They're your age.
They got weird haircuts.
They're wearing big pants.
Yeah.
I don't appreciate.
Now you guys are,
some of you,
Sean, you're a parent, right? Yeah. So I, I don't appreciate. Now, you guys are, some of you, Sean, you're a parent, right?
Yeah.
So I don't like, no, I'll say this.
I don't love when I'm walking around your Highland Park, your Venice Beach, and you see an adorable child.
And you go, that's a cute kid.
Look at that cute kid's outfit.
And then you gaze, your gaze floats up to the parents who are
I
Alice somehow activated balloons
on her. Zoom is
getting out of hand. What the fuck
is going on? I don't get it.
It's really. Your gaze floats up.
I guess that's how you do it. I think it's the
peace sign that makes the balloons happen.
I do this with Max all the time on FaceTime
and my fucking computer won't do it.
I do it all the time. I do it more than
you two.
And you see the parents
are also dressed to the nines.
Like every piece of
it's curated.
I don't like that.
You don't like that? Especially
if the kid is a toddler.
I don't like that at all. That really pisses me off because it's like, yo, your kid is barely alive and it's just running around and probably just like it should be.
Unless what?
Here's what it signals to me.
We have help.
Yeah.
I'm just going to get that.
I'm going, oh, OK.
You're not just raising that kid on your own.
You're you're parading it about right now.
But this whole look that you, the fucking head to toe,
it's a runway.
It's a runway for you.
And it should be.
You don't love that they had
Dries Van Notten
make a toddler line
just for their kid.
Absolutely upset
with the sequined.
And it's parenting.
It's not a red carpet.
Okay.
You should look tired.
You should have grease
in your hair
down to the third inch.
You know,
I want to cowlick.
At that age, if you're a parent, I think you,
because then other parents feel bad.
Oh, yeah.
You know?
Oh, no, I don't.
I couldn't feel less bad.
I could give a fuck.
Our Maxine wears whatever comes out of the drawer.
We'll go to the, like, we'll go to the farmer's market.
I'm like, yeah, run around, man.
Everyone's like, oh, my God, how's your son?
I'm like, awesome. She's doing great.
I mean, it doesn't
matter because I'll put her in a tracks.
I'll put her
in whatever that comes out.
Sorry, I'm not out here.
I'm not.
So if you see a kid wearing like a
full fear of God
like neutral tone with
a trench coat.
Fine with me.
And they're like three,
you're like, awesome.
Yeah, that's a little weird,
but like,
because it's like
once they get to the age
where they're like,
they're not going to get
everything dirty maybe,
but like,
why would you,
that seems insane to me.
Bro, somebody got
our daughter
a white cashmere blanket
for a newborn.
I was like,
what in the, she at best isn't going to be able to take care a newborn. I was like,
what in the,
she at best isn't going to be able
to take care of this
until she's like
a straight A 17.
I mean,
I don't know.
I would say 38.
Yeah,
I was like,
there's no age in my life
when I would have been like,
this white cashmere blanket
is the move,
what,
for my buffalo wings
and,
you know,
dune or whatever.
I think they're trying
to set a trajectory
where your daughter
ends up becoming Nancy Meyers. Yeah. And I do admire that. Yeah, I think they're trying to set a trajectory where your daughter ends up becoming Nancy Meyers.
And I do admire that.
Yeah, I think so.
They set a trajectory where
that blanket takes up closet space
that it doesn't need to take up
because it shouldn't fucking be here.
Gigantic, gigantic cross-colored jeans.
Pick number one.
I love them.
I love them so much.
Big, color-blocking pants.
Love that for you.
Yeah, yeah.
Alice also sent us a vintage cross-color
leather suede. B that. Yeah. Yeah. Alice also sent us a vintage cross color leather suede.
I was rich and no family.
Yeah.
I would buy that in a heartbeat.
It's only $700.
Lonely purchase for Sean.
I think it looks ill.
I mean,
I could just wear that and gallivant around the house.
Be like,
I'm in the,
what about your friends video?
Look at me.
I'm the coolest person in the video.
You could wear it around the house.
It's once you walk out that door
where it becomes
trickier at least.
My neighbors would be like,
look at this guy. They wouldn't know.
Anyway, yeah. Big giant color
blocking view. Fantastic. Alice, it's
time for your first pick. Okay.
So, obviously
I'm going to go with...
Did you hear that?
No, I didn't. I heard something. Did the chair come up?
No, my boyfriend blew his nose.
He's always interrupting my self-tapes
with his elephantine
nose, but it's fine
because I forced him to live with cats.
So
gloves.
Perfect.
So we can talk about it now.
We can talk about it.
My first pick is gloves.
I have a lot of picks
and I actually ended up drafting,
like pre-drafting my draft
so that I would have a cohesive team
by the end of the draft.
But I'm starting with gloves
because it's obviously the most
egregious thing I'm wearing
that is very noticeable.
I'm wearing long opera length gloves.
Now specifically.
Material girl kind of like just to set it up for listeners,
like the material girl gloves.
Well,
these are more material girl gloves are fingerless.
You're thinking of material.
No,
the material girl.
No,
the material where she's like,
I mean,
they're like those.
Wait,
she's wearing opera length gloves
I think so
I'm like patronizing you guys
thinking you don't have any fashion
any fashion knowledge whatsoever
but you're like coming with receipts
and it's like I don't even need to be here
I had a single mom
I watched Madonna videos
yeah
we can talk about the Vogue video next if you want.
Yeah, I got a vlog.
Okay.
Madonna does wear those lacy fingerless gloves, though.
She does.
That is part of it.
That's her signature.
Material girl shoes.
But you're right, material girl gloves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So these kind of came back into fashion semi-recently in the last couple seasons.
And I really like them because you wear them with a t-shirt.
You don't wear them with the opera. You don't wear them with the
opera. You don't wear them with the like, you could, you could, you could wear them with a,
a band dress or a body con bandeau dress. You could wear them with anything, but I like to
just wear them casually with whatever. And it's one, one of the things about it that I like is
that, um, I have, I like the idea of wearing driving gloves
because I'm really pale. I'm worried about my
hands in LA getting
like sunburned.
They never do, but I worry about it.
You don't want a knuckle burn.
And then also, I'm 42
and I look quite young
for my age,
but my hands,
if you see, it's like,
this is looking real young.
Like, I look like a little baby,
a child.
Dragon hands.
And then the hand comes up and it's like,
Mervusula.
You know?
It looks like you reached
into a cursed chest,
kind of thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, speaking of Tears of the Kingdom,
it's like what happens to Link
at the very beginning
and he's like,
oh, fuck,
this is a horrible dead hand.
Like in Fight Club, your hands got Fight Clubbed?
Yeah, I honestly would Fight Club my hands.
I think that's a procedure you can get in Beverly Hills.
So there's gloves and you can pair them with anything.
It's like a funky, funky, funky time.
And then you can, you know, you take them off.
It's a layer.
There's a lot of stuff that's versatile about gloves.
It's also not only-
Can you just grab like the middle finger and peel them off
or do you got to start at the bottom and-
I kind of grab all four like this, you know,
but I was wearing them last night.
It was my partner's birthday and we were at a musical show
and I was wearing black ones.
I wish you said like monster truck rally or something.
We were at a monster truck rally.
Darling. And it's fun to meet people with these on
because you can't just, you could shake hands
but it's just natural to go like this.
Oh yeah. And then they
shake. You're a Dave and Buster's like let me get
four quarters. Can you say David and Buster's
because I didn't say David and Buster's
when you were wearing those.
It sounded like you said David and Buster's.
You can't type with them on too, which is great.
Cause that means I can't work.
Can't work.
That's wonderful.
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
Do you ever do the jewelry over the glove?
Jewelry.
You can do jewelry over the glove for sure.
Also in the material girl video.
Yeah.
For days.
And it's not just for skinny people.
That's a big component of my fashion picks.
I do not like trends that you can only wear if you're seven feet tall and skinny.
I don't, I don't, at least I will try it.
You hear that, Victor Wemba Nyama?
This isn't for you.
Alice is coming for you.
I will try that.
I'm five foot one and I'm barely alive even, but I will try it, but I don't, I won't promote it on this show.
No, thank you.
So gloves.
Yeah. Good call. Excellent pick. I love it.
Also came wearing the gloves.
Also, what I like
about it is they disappear up the t-shirt,
so you're like, I don't know where those end.
Exactly. That could be a bodysuit.
It could be a full superhero
bodysuit under that. It's a whole thing.
And you can wear a short coat.
You can also, I mean, the gloves trend also, you could wear short driving gloves. I like a long opera glove,
but I like the fact that it's, it's not, it's, it's pure fashion, right? It's not like, I don't
need this for any utility, you know, like it's, I'm not actually, I don't actually need it to
grip the steering wheel. You know what I mean? You know, I had a buddy that went through a phase
one time where he, and I think about it now, he was probably 20. I was maybe 17 and I showed up
wearing something, a Nike hoodie or something. And he's like, oh, you're doing that. You're
doing the whole brand thing still. And he tried to tell me that he dressed, he's like, yeah,
just, you know, I just like a t-shirt and jeans. What else do I need? You know? I'm like, I mean,
sure. Right. And at the time I was young, I was like, oh, okay, damn.
I must be a loser. Yeah.
That kind of
gatekeeping makes me insane. Oh, you're doing
the Nike thing? Okay.
If you have to make your younger
friend feel bad about themselves
to make yourself feel fashionable.
Yeah.
You're not going to be front row at this
guy's first show.
Okay?
Okay.
Great. Sean, have you considered driving gloves
as a top 1% of unpaid drivers?
No. I'll put Tommy Jonaghan
on blast, though. Maybe I've told this before.
The first time I met Tommy Jonaghan, he showed up
with driving gloves and a customized license
plate that said TomJ25.
He's one of my favorite comedians of all time. i and i was like what are you doing he was this was probably 17 years
ago but anyway yeah he had driving gloves and a mustang hell yeah nice that's how you get to the
top and stay there david time for your first pick i didn't pick stuff i wear at all this is that's
all right oh yeah no i got some stuff I didn't wear.
I'm taking shoulder pads and women's
jackets.
I thought I was going to get that late.
Yeah, I love
the silhouette. I remember my mom
having those.
Kind of like the business type jackets
with just huge shoulder pads and then
tights or something.
Big fucking DKNY big belt. the business type jackets with just huge shoulder pads and then like tights or something. It makes me think of like Grace Jones.
I don't know.
I just always really thought that
was a nice look.
Yeah.
That was like, and pardon, I don't want to
sound crazy here, but the
shoulder pads thing was to
make shoulders look broader.
Like what was the, what was the fashion part of that?
Cause it makes like an interesting like silhouette.
Like when it's like big and boxy.
Like a, like a, like a triangle or something.
It creates a triangle, which draws the eye downward.
I don't know.
That might be true.
It sounds like something.
I think in fashion, it's referred to as a strong shoulder.
I'm not sure when it originated,
sometime in the 80s.
I'm looking up trying to see where exactly,
like who was the first person to debut. Working girl is where it originated.
I'm assuming it was probably like a lesser known designer
and then it was stolen by everybody else.
But yeah, Grace Jones probably was the person
to like popularize it the most.
But yeah, it was like kind of in this like era of the, in the middle of a re-feminization
of women's fashion, because during that time you had a lot of like the pretty and pink
trend.
Laura Ashley was a big thing.
There was this also this other competing trend that was like big shoulders and like making
women seem kind of scary.
So it was sort of like a backlash against what was happening.
I think happening at the time.
Oh,
I just looked up Laura Ashley.
That's just like,
it's cottage core,
almost big,
like flowery.
You're saying.
I gotta stop.
Shoulder.
Were they all built?
They were all built into this shit,
right?
You didn't have like shoulder pads laying around.
I would find that.
No, they were laying around.
You could buy them.
You could pull them out.
And really.
Some garments.
Like orthotic.
They were like orthotics for your shoulders.
You couldn't clean them with it in, right?
You would have to take them out to clean them?
Yeah, because I'd always find them in the laundry room.
Oh, so there were like little shoulder pad pockets in the shirts, right?
Some garments have them sewn in and some garments have removable shoulder pads.
It depends on how strong
the shoulder is. Like, it's
a combination of pads and
the, what you're thinking
of, David, is the construction
of a business suit that is
like sewn so that even if
you don't have pads in it, there's space there
so you could like, I guess, hide money
in there or something. And I do.
Cougar hands. What'd you read in there?
What'd you read inside there?
Yeah, she did put a couple blunts in there.
Grace Jones, like the whole broad shoulders.
Like that was like a, like scary, you know what I mean?
Like, like scary hot.
Who Grace Jones?
Who Grace Jones?
Grace Jones.
Look up Grace Jones.
You know Grace Jones.
Grace Jones rules.
Yeah, Grace Jones is awesome.
There is a designer who just died, actually.
Hold on a second.
Designer who just died,
who actually I think was like the progenitor of that silhouette.
Is progenitor a word?
I mean, I just...
It felt.
I was going to ask you what it means.
Progenitor?
What is that?
Progenited.
Started.
Yeah, like the person who...
Well, Vivian Westwood, but that's not who I'm thinking of.
David Wren. Oh, yeah. Okay, maybe this is who it is.
Has there ever been a designer just named Linda or something?
It was Azadina Alaya.
Was one of Grace Jones' designers.
Which is something I knew and definitely didn't just Google.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think David Ratt.
No, I'm trying to think.
There's a guy.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
I'm not a fashion historian.
Wish I was.
Shoulder pads is.
That's a move you could make later on, though.
Like, you know, fit them.
Here's what I wanted to visit on all these pics, too.
Are these any of our pics currently back?
Like, as we go through.
I mean.
Because, like, baggy jeans are fucking way back.
Our shoulder pads coming back at all.
The gloves are back.
The other thing about this,
this draft is that everything is so cyclical.
I would challenge you to find a trend that isn't being,
that hasn't trended somewhere because of Tik TOK and the internet and fashion
is moving so quickly that it's either a stylish now or it was stylish two weeks ago
or it will be stylish in three.
Like it's just everything goes now.
Yeah.
There's very little.
Like I guess skinny jeans is like the one thing.
And that'll be back before you know it.
I swear to God.
I've seen it still.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're living in sort of a renaissance
like of fashion, but also sort of a renaissance of fashion,
but also sort of a hellscape
where there's no defining
one thing, except for being
skinny and white
and tall.
Unfortunately, that's still hanging on.
Stop, stop.
Sue Carmel was big into shoulder pads.
Big into them.
All right. Shout out to my mom. Big into them. All right.
Shout out to my mom. Yeah, so is Kelly Jordan.
Kelly Jordan had a gift.
Power.
Time for my first and second picks.
I'm going to go with something that loomed large in the early 2000s.
And it was something that I even dipped my toes in because it was accessible to everyone,
including the thicker gentlemen and ladies. I'm taking throwback
jerseys.
I was going to take that too.
The first competing pick.
Shout out to Fabulous.
Shout out to Fabulous. Shout out to
literally everyone.
Fabulous is what pops.
Fabulous and
Cameron. That's what pops into my head.
Cameron, Nelly.
Fabulous had crazy ones, though.
He had like, it would be like Hezekiah Jewish Day School.
Yeah.
Crazy shit.
They would.
They would have the weirdest stuff, dude.
It was wild.
He was going crazy.
It was like, I'm wearing a Mordecai three-finger brown St. Louis
pipsqueaks, you know, summer league jersey to the MTV VMAs.
Like, it was wild because it combined two things.
It combined fashion and sitting around naming old athletes, which are two things dudes love.
And you could do like a lot of color, like to expand.
Did you have one?
I had a few.
Okay, so I think I may have told this story
on this podcast before, but let me tell it again.
We're deep, you know. My dad
has a friend who
is in the import export business.
You have. That's so sketchy.
You have, because that's exactly how this
started. That's so sketchy.
He lived down by the dogs?
Is that a guy?
Ian, you forgot to do the air quotes when you
said it.
His name was Fingers.
I'm not going to say his name
just in case, but like
he exports you.
Exactly. Yeah.
For importing this information.
My dad
had somehow become aware of this
throwback trend.
He's a fashionable guy.
And I was going to Portland State University
at the time and he was like,
son,
I could get you a line on some
schmata throwback jerseys.
So schmata is just like
it's an old Yiddish
like it's the garments. It just means clothes.
But it was like knockoffs. Yeah. The the schmadas it was like you would get fake
you know chanel fake whatever whatever and he got a line on some schmada throwback jerseys and i was
like all right like i'll do what i can like i'll at least see what you get because i was like
thinking oh and they'd be for me to wear right you know and
it was like i could throw on and so then like cut to two weeks later or whatever i get like so many
like hella like like 60 or something like that knockoff and some of the knockoffs were good and
some of them were like not good at all and like like, he was like, so you can sell these on campus.
And I was like,
you want to sling them?
And I'm going to eat.
He goes,
I'm going to need my taste after there.
He wanted his taste and his friend wanted his taste.
And I was the point man selling knockoff Mitchell and S jerseys.
They baby boy campus.
I think I sold like two of them,
by the way,
to like friends.
And I got to keep one.
You're still in it with this guy?
So it sounds like you didn't sell enough.
That's why you gave him.
Looks like a lot of berets just fell off the truck.
Yeah, he gets a third of our Patreon.
He's a silent partner in all
fantasy everything and the late late show
he was.
And so I was like, but he
let me keep a couple, but he let me keep the shittiest ones.
So I had this Deion Sanders that was just a white and blue
and ostensibly a Cowboys jersey,
but it had no Cowboy markings on it.
Some of them were really good,
but I wasn't allowed to keep those.
Throwbacks was like the era of like,
that was the first time I ever knew dudes,
not schmata, but those throwbacks was the first time
I ever knew dudes who would like hustle clothes like I
had a few friends who was just like
they were flipping throwback jerseys
and I still know guys who do it with shoes
a lot. Dude it's the nice
thing about it it was eminently
thriftable too cause like a
jersey like if you were wearing a fucking Joe
Theismann jersey that wouldn't really show
wear if you wore it two or three times
and it's like oh I could then trade that
for your Detlef Schramm Sonics jersey.
And now we're both got new looks, you know?
Does this go in line with the...
I had Trailblazers, one of all.
Oh, yeah.
Does this go in line with like the FUBU
and No Limit jerseys?
Or those don't count?
No, those are different.
Those are different.
Okay. All right. Okay.
They're related.
Classic beloved athletes.
Right.
I guess I thought thought i didn't
know throwback meant like literal oh i'll be right yeah that was the throwback jersey that
was the point is that it was like people who weren't currently playing oh so you would have
like a magic johnson michigan state you know i mean oh i was i was uh i was. So you can't have it for like a fictional player?
Okay.
I mean, I guess you could.
You could have it for like a Space Jam player or something.
For the time period, it was like Michelin-esque.
I know what you're saying.
Old college people would have like, oh, there he goes.
That's really cool with a beret.
Beret?
The beret and the throwback is really cool.
I will say a little bit, it seems like we're cheating
because this is, I don't know, this is as much of a fashion trend
as it is like a display of like your deep knowledge of sports.
It was, I will come back to it.
It was a lot of people who didn't give a fuck
about Joe Theismann.
It was like, I don't think it would,
it wasn't like people were wearing it because they were huge
fans of Larry Bird
at Indiana State. You know what I mean?
It was like a lot of people were just like
doing it because that was the trend.
Yeah, okay. I like it and I'm glad
you defended it. That was a test and I agree with you.
Fashion, that was a fashion test, and you have passed.
Oh, man, that's the first time I ever passed a fashion test.
Oh, you passed a fashion test.
You will pass a lot of them today, David.
Get excited.
This is going to be a big day for me.
It's a big day.
Yeah, it's cool.
So, yeah, throwback jerseys, they were like, where did Sean go?
Restroom?
I still see him. I bet he's going to put a jersey on. David, you see him, right? You can see Sean, right? Oh,ys. They were like, where did Sean go? Restroom? I still see him.
I bet he's going to put a jersey on.
You can see Sean, right?
Oh no.
Yeah, he's here.
Oh no, the throwback jersey's transported me to the past.
I also have a, the only jersey I have right now is I have a fake Vince Carter jersey that
I bought out of Jamel Johnson's backpack.
Perfect.
Shout out to Jamel.
That man is in the shmada business in a big way.
Man, that guy's got jerseys.
He's technically, I think
he can pass in Orthodox Jewish
synagogues because of how in the shmada
game he is.
This is authentic. I got
this at Back to the Basket in Portland. A
throwback Detlef Schramm Blazer jersey.
This is dope, man. I was in there one night.
I love the better on the Sonics,
I'm just saying. Me too. For sure. That's
why this jersey is so funny because he was not like a big player
for the Blazers.
I tried to pick a topic that
would be really like a thing I know
a lot about. And the first thing
that happened was that you guys knew way more than I
thought you would. And then the second thing that happened is we started
talking about sports.
And I will now
pivot. I will now lift
us out of sports and then dunk us right back in.
Because with my second pick, I'm taking basketball sneakers as fashion and starting specifically with Michael Jordan 1.
Yeah.
Yeah, Jordan 1.
What do you think?
Probably seven years ago?
That like really popped again?
Yeah.
It has never gone away. You don't think it's ever gone away? I don't think really popped again. Yeah. It has never gone away.
You don't think it's ever gone away?
I don't think it's ever.
No.
I swear I started noticing
like in the last five, ten years
on everybody.
Especially in stand-up.
Do you think you didn't notice it before?
Because I feel like
I've always been aware.
I feel like as a kid,
I remember it was a big time
every year when they would come out.
Yeah.
And then it never,
I never stopped seeing it.
Yeah.
But I think for a while it was like a look that it was like,
I am the person who wears the Jordan that this is,
this is a part of me and my style.
But what I think Sean is talking about is when it became like ubiquitous in
the sense that it's not even a person who with style,
it's just a guy who has a girlfriend.
Right.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
It's just somebody being like,
I'm getting some Jordans and never,
yeah.
I just feel like I noticed a huge pop five,
10 years ago.
It took me out of it,
to be honest.
You would describe it as a trend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause you did used to have to be up on it.
Yeah.
And then now it's like every dweeb's got fucking one.
So annoying.
And that's a trend. It makes's got fucking one. So annoying.
It makes me want to run. Actually
now, and now I think ones are fading a little bit
and I'm like, time to get back in.
I think, and to bring up,
do we kind of, is shoes covered or no?
Yeah, anything's covered. All shoes?
Well, no, I don't know. I just, I think
dunks like work their way in too.
It's tricky. It's a basketball
that started as a basketball shoe that became
an SB dunk which is a skate shoe which I'm not
taking no I'm just saying I just
think that I see a pop in that too where it's like
everybody has dunks now
the panda dunks turn that into like
a standard issue
what your character starts with is panda dunks
link those
I haven't seen I don't know what that means
let me see what that means you've definitely seen them
oh the panda dunks yeah yeah they're black and white
yeah I remember
like seven years ago
it being a really and then I liked
what it would look like when they were really dirty
the Air Jordans
oh yeah like a dirty
Jordan and I think that is what
became what we now
see is like this golden goose, like pretty
dirtied Balenciaga.
Like that, I think like fed into that, you know, which is like, it's this, again, it's
like this cyclical industry with like mostly marginalized groups or poor people or whatever
making a fashion style because they don't have, you know, like this is what they save money for
or whatever,
any group of people.
And then it's like,
and then fashion finds a way
to like make it really expensive.
Conversely,
you know what's great?
Like the,
like with the Air Force One,
like the,
like the having a super clean shoe,
that's where I'm at,
was more important to like,
would be more important to like
marginalized or whatever you know people who did
you know yeah yeah yeah whatever
like if you save up money for it you keep it clean
and the cooked Jordans came from like
lower east side hipsters
where it was like they would fuck
and like dime where they would like wear the
dirtiest you would see like girls
in the last five years wearing
like the most brutalized Air Force Ones.
I just walk so much.
It hurts my heart.
If you came from money,
the dirtier your shoes,
the more in your trust buttons,
the more filthy your shoes are.
I still try to keep my shoes as clean as I possibly can.
I avoid puddles.
I like, I put duct tape on the inside of my jeans because the blue of the
denim would rub off on the top of whites.
And so I like, I always, it's like, if I am clean,
I want them clean as they can get.
I do too.
My one exception with that is my pick, which is the Jordan one,
which I like, especially like
because I'm hooping in there, but no, but like
they're leather and
they take the way, like in my opinion,
like I like keeping the soles clean,
but like the leather takes age well.
Yeah. I think because it's an all
leather and it's not, it's
started as a performance shoe, but it's not
I think a crisp pair of Jordan 1s looks
beautiful too, but I've got these
red, black, and white like Chicago
Air Jordan 1s that are like
beat the shit out. And the crease.
Well, they got a sexy crease.
Because a lot of these kids will walk and they won't
bend their toes in those shits because they don't
want them to, which is crazy because
the crease looks cool to me because it just
it's part of the wearing, you know.
This is to me the heart of what Fashion Trends and Picking This is about.
And I, this is a comedy podcast.
And I was like, when I was, when I was like logging into the Zoom, I was like, Alice,
don't be a fucking wet blanket and talk about social issues the whole fucking time.
Nobody's going to like it.
But like this to me is what's so fucking fascinating about fashion in general
is that like we have a group of people,
maybe you guys don't even think
about fashion normally,
but like,
it sounds like you actually do,
but like this shoe,
whether it's dirty or clean,
who wears it,
when they wear it,
at what stage of the leather aging,
it doesn't just talk about like
what you like when you see something.
You're thinking about
whether they're rich or poor, where they came from, what music they listen to, how old they are.
You're thinking about all of the like various cultural touch points of what that means, what the shoe looks like.
And that is whether you like it or not.
Like David's like, oh, it breaks my heart.
Like that is evocative to me.
Like that a shoe can, a shoe's dirtiness level
on who's wearing it
can actually communicate that
is pretty interesting.
It truly is
because it really does.
To me, it's like,
because sneakers were always
aspirational, right?
Yeah.
From like, you know,
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
wearing the fucking grape fives
and like all this stuff.
So it's like,
you see people just like
beat to them
and I'm like, man,
fuck you.
You can also,
you took that
and like scuffed it on the sidewalk on purpose.
You see some people's shoes like that
where I'm like, you didn't come by that, honestly.
But to Ian's point, a shoe that
ages well, that's like a compliment
to the shoe itself. Like if a shoe ages
well and even a person who's like,
don't do that to your shoes
can acknowledge that like,
yeah, but like it wears in right.
It wears into the point
where you can still wear it.
That's a really well like made
and designed product.
Nigel Sylvester,
Sylvester, who's like a big BMX rider
has released pre,
like I kind of, again,
pre-distressed Jordans because he would wear Jordans doing like BMX rider has released pre like I kind of again pre distressed Jordans because
he would wear Jordans doing
like BMXing and then like with
skating as well they would have certain wear points
that would be natural so from like
here's the place on the shoe you catch the pedal
this is where you would hit the pegs
or skateboarding it's like this is where
when you're doing like Sean you could speak to this better than me
kickflip you're gonna wear out like your toes
and the like the sole of the foot a lot quicker
than anywhere else.
Like lace guards and all that shit too.
Yeah.
So they've released like Jordans with,
with like Jordan fours that just came out,
which were a great sneaker last year
that have reinforced areas
because they're an SB Jordan for skateboarding.
So the toe boxes is like reinforced
and all these stress points and everything.
It's just a perfect,
like it's a sim, it's just a perfect,
like it's a simulacrum or a example of like the way pop culture moves in our society is like,
it starts out with marginalized people,
black people invent,
like become like popularize a fashion trend.
And then it moves through like,
obviously does that white designers will steal an idea.
And then like,
it'll go to the other end with like an athlete creating their version of a shoe that's pre
dirty because that has become acceptable because Balenciaga, you know, like, it's like such a
really insane, like, and if you look at it for one second, you're like, oh fuck. Like that is
what a weird society we live in. Like, this is crazy. And I think like, just knowing about it
is a way to like,
be more grounded in reality,
which is,
yeah,
the great thing about fashion
because it's like,
fashion is seen as this thing
that's like,
not for normal people
or like,
you're like fashion victims
or whatever.
Like,
oh,
let's talk about Balenciaga.
But it actually talks a lot
about what normal people are doing.
I could count how many times a day
I say that.
Yeah,
let's talk about, don. Talk about Balenciaga.
Laura, can we please talk about Balenciaga?
That was my second choice for a pet name.
It was Peaches and then Balenciaga.
And then Balenciaga.
Ended up being Birdie.
Interesting.
David, time for your second pick.
I'm taking this because I think it's super polarizing and it's
so funny to watch something where like it happens so fast and the snake starts to eat its own tail
and everybody starts to hate it i'm taking the fedora oh boy because it's just like it was such
a standard for so long right like there was years and years where it was just a nice hat and then all of a sudden it
got into pop culture for that little bit of time and just everybody turned on it and it's still
like i was just talking to my girl about this i still think it's like a nice looking hat like i
don't sure particularly find any issues with it it's also funny i remember my brother grew up in
europe right so i remember he took a picture
like maybe like six seven years ago and i was like he was like he was like oh you know i got
the fedora and i was like martin d and he but he had never even had that he had never even had the
turn of it because he never had the backlash so it was always it was always so it's just like the
like the rhythm of how that his moved is really interesting to me.
And it's like become this thing that's like so like it's like it's like it's like it's like an epithet.
Like when you say fedora, everybody knows exactly what you mean.
It's this shitty thing.
It became the nickelback of hats.
Yeah.
The Vice History of the Fedora says that it's become associated with the men's rights movement.
Isn't that crazy?
What a bummer.
Like, whoa.
My fedora, it's rooted in jealousy because I remember, I think it was probably Kevin
Federline where he like, he was the first person I was like, oh, that guy's got a fedora.
And I was, and in my mind, I'm like, he's attractive.
And I don't, I'm jealous of like what's going on with him and you know being like fuck that that looks
stupid yeah and I you know because you're jealous I'm like I would love to be able to pull off a
fedora but I couldn't even I wouldn't be able to look up if I had one on some of the downfall of
the fedora you want you you have to like earn a fedora you know it's part of it you are like
you want to see some age in a face you know you want it like i think also it doesn't it looks kind of douchebaggy when you mix it with
more casual clothes absolutely and i think that's kind of where it was like for so long it was like
a formal dress-up thing yeah and then you see just like jason moraz and like a t-shirt
and you were like this guy's a dickhead. So it's the strokes.
Like, so here's where
I think it went bad.
Like, it came out
in the 1800s
and then was like
pretty standard
in the 40s.
And was doing fine
for 150 years or whatever.
It was a pretty standard
normal hat.
It wasn't like
a super wide brim
so it was more practical.
And then...
You just wore a hat out
those days too.
In the 60s,
the ska, like the the the like ska dressing
thing that started to become and it really popped popped off in the 80s like so from punk to ska
from the 70s to the 80s then the fedora became like kind of a countercultural like i took my
dad's thing and it's punk now whatever and so you see it then in movies like pretty in pink and john
hughes movies like ducky wearing the fedora that was like the trend
at that point like it was a very like
a way to signal like I'm a normal guy
but I have some sort of style
then it went away and then I think
during the like 2000s
when 80s came back like in the way
that the strokes were dressing
you know there was like this sort of
this fucking apple
I love it.
I hate it.
I'll interrupt me in the middle of my spree.
Keep going.
Keep going.
The strokes, this kind of like the,
the, the stroke-ification of fashion,
of like men's fashion with like,
remember how it was like the skinny ties?
It was very 80s.
It was very John Hughes,
like that whole fashion thing.
And that's when the fedora really came back onto the scene.
And then it was like Jason Mraz and all these people were,
that were copying off of like that lower East side hipster look.
Right.
Who are doing the post-punk revival sort of.
Yeah.
I think it was like what happens.
I don't know.
I'm,
this is off the cuff,
like a totally out of pocket,
but I think it's what happens when like white people are allowed to just like take a trend
to be like, what if we do this?
It's just like not informed by any other cultures whatsoever.
And it's just like, there's something about it.
This is like, I thought of cross colors on my own.
I just saw him one day.
Nobody, no influence or anything.
I was like, I don't like these.
But they also, I mean, that's what's true.
It's like when it was like the cool thing about Fado.
I mean, they were also born
based on their name, I'm assuming
Italy. I'm assuming it was like Italian
you know, Fedora.
And where it was like, you know, it also
came from like, I guess
now this sounds weird, white
people kind of thing. But then it was like,
but then by the time it winds its way to fucking
Jason Mraz, it's like,
oh, this has been stripped of all of its cultural meaning.
Also, like David said, like fashion outside of its context looks a lot of it looks pretty dumb.
Right.
We'll get into later.
You know what I mean?
Where it's like so much of it is timely and stuff like that.
I think the only brim all the way around brim hat you can really wear casually is like a bucket hat.
Well, we might.
It might come up.
You can.
A very fashionable dude who's like wearing like if you're wearing a tweed, like the right kind of suit or the right cut of pants with a you.
But you have to do a whole.
But that's not casually.
That's what I'm saying.
Like with streetwear.
Right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I don't think it lends itself.
It's like too formal.
Not too formal. I think it's just like
it's just like it doesn't look
good with casual clothing. You know what I mean?
You're probably right that it's too formal because it used to be
a whole movement. It used to be more casual
and then it became through
the casual, you know, America becoming more
and more casual.
You can't wear a Ford fedora with athleisure wear.
You know what I'm saying? No, it would look so weird.
What if Lululemon made a fedora?
A moisture-wicking fedora?
Shot on sight.
Shot on sight.
I'd just wear it at the airport because it's comfy, but it looks
formal.
It's such an unfashionable piece
of headwear. It's actually
a challenge. I would like to find a way
to make this work
I'm surprised
it's like the Mount Everest of
I think about it a lot
it's
actually
you know that
that cooking show
where they have like
the weird basket of ingredients
what's it called
chopped
chopped
it's like for
that would be a really cool
fashion show
to like for
stylists
shopped
shopped oh my god there it is you should make way more money a really cool fashion show for stylists. Shopped? Shopped.
Oh my God, Ian.
There it is.
You should make way more money.
Yeah, we all thought of that.
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.
Alice, do you want to go
pitch a show called Shopped?
Ian needs the money
to pay off the guy.
Yeah, he's got to pay off
the schmata guy.
I'm in deep.
I'm in deep.
It turned out
he sold me this jersey.
I didn't recognize it.
Listen, I'm watching The Sopranos right now,
and bad stuff's going to happen if you don't give them his taste.
Look, Sean.
He's watching The Sopranos.
I sure am.
Prestige television.
I am deep, and I love it.
Alice, it's time for your second pick.
Oh, shit.
And I do two in a row or do one?
Just one.
Just one.
There's a corn on the cob thing earlier.
I explained it pretty well.
I'm going to do...
Okay.
This one's kind of specific.
So lately there's been a metallification,
like putting silver and gold on everything.
I really like silver.
And I bought two pairs of these.
I bought two pairs of silver jeans.
I got a little obsessed.
I got a little obsessed. I got a little obsessed
and I bought two different pairs
for two different...
They're denim?
They're denim.
They're denim
and I'll show you one pair here.
I haven't returned these yet.
Yeah.
Did you return the others?
I almost said
put it on my tombstone.
I get buyer's remorse
so quick these days.
Especially if I go shopping,
shopping,
and I'm like, I'm going to try these jeans on,
and I get them home, and I'm like,
those are going, it's just a matter of time.
Those are going back.
I'm not.
I do it constantly.
I hate shopping for pants.
Shoes, all day, all night.
Pants, I just can't.
Whoa, those are super silver.
Wow.
And that's denim.
Those are cool, though.
Those are really cool, though.
I really got into these.
I like looking like
you came from the future
in some way.
These are from Nasty Gal.
Of course they are.
I looked for them for a while because
you can obviously buy a designer version
of these. But for trends
specifically, I don't like to spend
a ton of money most of the
time. Sometimes I will because you can resell it. But the resale value of a trend piece goes down,
whereas like a classic piece like a trench coat or, you know, that'll go up. Think about this,
you know. But I bought that and then I bought a stretchy, like lighter colored one that's less
like a futuristic and those are from the gap.
And so it's just like,
I just need to be shiny on the bottom for some reason right now.
Shiny,
shiny top and bottom is a whole,
that's a big,
shiny top and bottom might be the fedora.
It's too much.
You know,
I,
I like,
I like a fashion item that is a, a sort of embellished take on an everyday thing.
But you got to be careful with it because you can't go too far.
Because like all of a sudden, then you're wearing ripped jeans with like Swarovski crystals all over them.
And that'll take you in a difficult direction.
It's fine.
Wear what you want.
But it's a little hard to pull off.
If you're doing that, you're starting to stir my mom's Kool-Aid a little bit.
She can't have other people.
That's the kind of shit she likes.
Maybe take the rips out in the last 20 years, but you get them crystals all over.
It's everything.
I saw a BMW with the top, the whole front of the hood.
It was Swarovski crystals.
We've gone too far.
Whenever I see it happen, I'm like, go for it.
It doesn't bother me at all if it's on someone else.
I love seeing it.
Like, yeah, man, go nuts with that shit.
I like to imagine the ones, the jeans covered in crystals and the feeling of sitting down
and it's like...
We were sitting in Port Collins and this dude was at the breakfast spot and he had giant
crosses crystaled all over his jeans.
And I was like, man, that is insane.
And my buddy, Adam, who's like anti, he's like anti-fashion for some reason,
but he looks down and he's like, you think those dunks are cool?
And I was like, don't you dare try to tell me these dunks are even in the same arena
as those cross heaven jewel jeans that that dude's got on.
I wasn't even, it's not like I walked up to the guy and was like, man, your jeans suck.
I said it to my friend in confidence at brunch.
You know what I mean?
It is interesting, though.
I mean, like, you're right, but it is like what it's,
it's, I don't know, it's.
That was his point.
He's like, well, opinions are opinions.
And I'm like, stop, just stop trying to argue just to argue.
I get what you're saying, but, you know.
I'm contrarian.
Yeah, eggs Benedict over here.
So it's,
this one was like,
I don't know.
This one was sort of iffy for me
because it's like,
it's a trend right now.
Like silver denim is like a trend.
And it like,
just from basic like runway to store,
it hasn't been like exploited
and turned into a million different things
like the crystals on the jeans.
Runway to store,
like the fashion,
the fashion version of farm to table.
Fashion version of farm to table.
But like this is a trend
that I didn't want to necessarily,
I love it.
I love the way it looks,
but like I don't want to,
I don't know,
like I don't like to pick trends
that are like hard to pull off or something.
Like I like for things to be accessible
and just be fun,
you know, like just, you know, so I would love to see like a guy wearing who'd like normally just wears
cargo shorts or whatever, just like do like a silver cargo shorts, metallic cards. I don't
know, like something like that would be cool or like a metallic sock. I just like fun, irreverent
choices on like in unexpected places.
You're seeing a lot of metallic tops and bottoms
on the red carpet, too,
where it's just full.
Yeah, which is like,
I feel like that's an appropriate place for it.
But I like it.
I want it to be.
The jeans, I picked the jeans
because it's a little inappropriate.
Yeah, it is.
Why are my jeans dipped in gold?
Why are the jeans from the future? Why are the jeans? Yeah yeah it looks like you sent the jeans this is what i like about it
looks like you sent the jeans in a time machine and you're like come back to me when you're ready
and they went to you know 30 37 and it came back and it's like the jeans are like oh it's crazy
it is it is memorable though i remember in my early when i first moved to san francisco
there was a girl who wore gold pants.
And that's how we all knew.
We called her gold pants.
Yeah.
It was like a part of her identity.
And she started calling herself gold pants.
Yeah, like the...
Uh-oh, gold pants is here.
And she just watched.
Yeah, she was kind of like that.
I would be too.
I'm Lizzie gold pants.
I love that.
Like, I imagine her at dinner at her parent.
They're like, eat your peas.
And she's like, no peas for Goldpants.
No Goldpants, no peas.
Julie's dragon fruit and stuff like that.
Crazy like.
Put some honey on them.
You want Goldpants to eat them.
That hasn't even come out yet.
This reminds me of a traumatic experience when I was younger.
When I was in seventh, eighth grade, I was like really
into fashion magazines and I would do crazy shit. I'd wear crazy shit all the time. And one time I
wore, I saw in Sassy magazine, they had, they had braids, two braids and there was like a whole
editorial. Yeah. But like braids, like pippy long stocking. And there was a whole editorial like
that about like that hairstyle, like kind of, I don't know, just wearing pigtails in general, like pigtailed braids.
And I wore my hair like that.
And then this girl at my school, like she like came up to me in the stairwell, which was the notorious place for bullying because there was no teachers.
And she was like, I don't know about the stairwell.
Hey,
bitch.
And I turn around and she was like,
she goes,
she pulled my brain and she's like,
you look like,
you look like Pippi Longstocking,
bitch.
And I was like,
sometimes it doesn't have to be creative.
I love how uncreative it was to me.
Like,
it was like,
I was like horrified at the time
but then like later on i was like fuck i love kids insulting kids like it's so just like boom
like nothing really hey that's bad and then straight to the point a to b hey bitch you
look like pippi longstocking and then that same girl wore them two months later because the mariah
carey video came out where she was wearing pigtails.
Yeah.
And I was like, but you, but you.
You were ahead.
You were ahead of trend.
Not anymore, bitch.
Now I look like Pippi Longstocking, bitch.
In my memory, she gave me eyes and was like, don't you fucking say a word.
She just walks up and grabs you by the bangs that you now have.
And she's like, bitch, you got
bangs. Are we doing this again? I fell astray once
in middle school where, it's only
somewhat related, but I was walking with a limp
because I had like rolled my ankle
at recess running around
and these
like I was probably in 6th grade
and these tough 8th graders thought I was doing like a
gangster limp and they called me
on it like, oh, are you a gangster? And I was like walking around in like a, I think I had like a Winnie the Pooh shirt and I was doing like a gangster limp. And they called me out on it. Like, oh, you a gangster?
And I was like walking around in like a, I think I had like a Winnie the Pooh shirt.
And I was like, no, no, I'm just, I hurt.
I got hurt.
Yeah, right.
I tweaked my ankle now.
And I made myself walk normally because I was so embarrassed.
Winnie the Pooh.
Listen, I got hit one time.
I got one of those big jackets with the fur lining hood.
Oh, yeah.
And I said something and this kid was like, all right, Jenny from the block. Oh, my God. Yes. got hit one time i got one of those big jackets with the fur lining hood oh yeah and i said
something and this kid was like all right jenny from the block oh my god yes it really really
fucked my shit up that would like i wanted to fight him i was like yeah that's the only surely
you must die yeah i can't know you you and this jacket cannot walk the planet at the same time i
gotta come back here tomorrow yeah the thing about that is like you can't know you you and this jacket cannot walk the planet at the same time I gotta come back here tomorrow
yeah the thing about that
is like
you can't really respond
cause like with the
Pippi Longstocking thing
like she wasn't being
friendly to me
she's like
you look
you look at Pippi Longstocking
it would be one thing
but she really said bitch
so it's like
it's not like I can be like
thanks man
yeah yeah
you can't go to that person
like you could maybe
spin it like
yeah Jenny from the block I love Jennifer Lopez this is me now that's You can't go to that person. You could maybe spin it like,
yeah, Jenny from the block.
I love Jennifer Lopez.
This is me now.
It was not that kind of party.
No.
Yeah.
You can tell.
That wasn't going to go down like that. No, it wasn't going to work.
Thank you.
And I choose to take that as a compliment.
Yeah.
Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got.
I'm a beatnut for fashion
Sean Jordan, time for your second and third picks
Second pick, I gotta go
Again, this is pretty true to me
But I had
Probably had seven of these, but starter jackets
Oh, come on
I had Notre Dame, Duke, Georgetown,
Kansas City,
Hurricanes, North Carolina,
and
maybe I had six. Can't think of any other
off top. Now this is coming back.
Those were all the hits, too.
Every once in a while, I look for a starter jacket online.
They're great.
You go to Back to the Basket,
they have grips
and like
if it didn't
if it wouldn't look
absolutely batshit
for me to wear one
right now
with the rest of my aesthetic
I might
think about it
but it would
I would look like
a lunatic
or a drug dealer
like or like
a not a good drug dealer
I don't think so
I see some starter jackets here
that would be fine for you
on eBay
I'm talking pullovers so there there were starter jackets here that would be fine for you on eBay. I'm talking pullovers.
So there were starter jackets that zipped up,
which I mean, they count,
but I'm talking the pullover,
big ass pocket in the front starter jacket,
like one color on the shoulder,
like top is white, shoulders orange,
sleeves green, that kind of stuff.
Make sure, let's all be in agreement.
I think Sean could get away with this easily.
Taking a gander, diving in.
Alice has presented a San Francisco 49er
starter jacket to the chat.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
I know it is, and it's signed on the edges.
I think you could easily get away with this.
It's only 70 bucks? That's cheaper than they were.
That used to be like 120.
Big ass jeans, dude?
Yeah, you could wear that.
You just have to be confident about it.
And that's your only issue. Yeah, I'll wear that. You just have to be confident about it. And that's your only issue.
Yeah, I'll die this way.
Yeah, I mean, this is not that big of a risk.
Well, I mean, just for when those popped,
we're the same age, Alice.
So like when those popped,
it was probably like sixth to eighth grade for me.
And everybody, it was such a move.
Probably like preschool at that time, something like that.
Okay,
fine.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
I imagine David had one at some point,
but,
um,
yeah,
those,
and they went away when they were gone.
They were gone.
It seems like they were just gone.
And in the last few years,
every now and again,
over the last 20 years,
you'd see one of the wild somewhere,
like some dude at a bar and you'd be like,
what happened to that guy?
But now they're just kind of back and they're, you know, like you'd see, I remember seeing
these 35 year olds with like a Hurricanes jacket.
And I'm like, whoa, is that, you know, just out of nowhere.
But I loved it because it was, you know, starter shit.
But yeah, now they're back a little bit.
Now you'll see them on like the kids every now and again, especially if you're going
to like a cool standup show somewhere.
I wonder. Yeah. I wonder.
Yeah.
I wonder if they're.
So I haven't seen this.
I'm looking at the eBay listings, but I couldn't.
I love this one, but I couldn't wear.
I'm not a Golden State Warriors fan, so I couldn't wear it.
Oh, that's a good one.
If you are Golden State Warriors fan, come see me at the punchline this weekend.
Yeah.
Maybe pick up this vintage starter puffer star jacket with stars on the edges.
It's really nice.
But in my high school, I grew up in Minnesota.
So it's really cold like nine months out of the year.
Where? I grew up in South Dakota.
Where in Minnesota?
In Minneapolis.
Oh, it's my favorite city in the whole world.
It is?
I love Minneapolis too.
I love Minneapolis too.
Yeah, anyway.
Unfortunately, my whole family lives there, so I can't go there.
I can't go there. I've. Unfortunately, my whole family lives there, so I can't go there. But there is...
I can't go there.
I got to see my whole family.
There were these starter jackets
that everybody had in my middle school
that were...
Maybe I'm making this up,
but I have not seen one.
They're not shiny.
The exterior of the starter jacket,
it was always all black,
and it was like matte.
Like some sort of like almost cotton. Oh, I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. I want to all black and it was like matte. Like some sort of like almost
cotton. Oh, I know what you're talking about.
I want to say, and it was puffy.
And I haven't seen it ever. Like maybe
the fabric didn't like
pull up. No, I know what you're talking about.
It was puff and it was flat. Oh, man.
It was flat. I would love to find
one of those. And they didn't have hoods, right?
I had a North Carolina one of those.
I know what you're talking about because my North Carolina one was like that.
It was a zip up.
Correct me if I'm,
is that what you're talking about?
It was a zip up.
Yeah.
And mine just had a big NC on the back.
The rest was like matte black.
And yeah, it was amazing.
It was probably my favorite one
because it looked like the most gangsta,
like actual,
where I'd put it on and make like,
man, this makes me look bigger.
And it's like, it's murdered out.
It wasn't cartoony. Like my Notre Dame one had a big fighting Irish guy right on it. I was like, man, this makes me look bigger. And it's like, it's murdered out. It wasn't cartoony.
Like my Notre Dame one had a big fighting Irish guy right on it.
I was like, how tough can you really be?
But yeah, that murdered out North Carolina one.
Like you throw that with like my Adidas track pants and my Carl Canais.
Couldn't talk to me, baby.
I was out there.
I wonder if it was like cheaper or something.
So yeah, anyway, starter jackets.
And then I want to get out of
what I do, but I also kind
of don't. How about this one? I'll pick
no, I'm doing Bugs and Taz. I'm picking
Bugs and Taz stuff. Oh, the
Looney Tunes. Yeah, yeah, the Looney Tunes.
There's a lot of cross
pollination between all of your picks.
I know. I'm just doing what I wore one day
in seventh grade. We get what your heyday was.
Not in a negative way, but I'm like pretty sure
there were Looney Tunes wearing cross-colored t-shirts.
And I think there absolutely
were. There was a Looney Tunes
starter cross-colored jacket.
Yeah, there was a whole time period where you would
wear, I remember wearing a lot of
shirts with like characters
dressed cooler than I was on the
date. Yeah, that's really good
absolutely
where you're like I just dress like
I'm trying
you're like wearing a tight t-shirt
and some shorts and the dudes on the t-shirt
are just like
maybe
nobody will notice I'm not
Bugs and Daffy maybe no one will notice
his beat up sweatpants.
And they'll just look at Taz.
If I were a little older, if I had a little more money,
this is maybe the kind of thing I would start investigating.
But I'm not.
I'm 12.
You understand this is what I want to be doing.
Oh, that's so funny.
That's exactly what it was.
Yeah.
I had found, I was really in the market for some silk pajamas
so I went on the internet
and I found
did TLC have anything to do with that?
yes
so I got to the end of my search
I was like looking
couldn't find
I found this set
of silk
all silk pajamas with a print of Taz.
Oh my God.
And it was like, and it said, I love Taz.
And then a little Taz, like, like an all over.
And I was like, and I immediately bought them.
And they were like 40, 50 bucks.
Immediately bought them.
How old were they?
When was this?
This was like two years ago.
Okay.
And I got them in the mail,
and I was like, yay.
I was in Canada,
so I was like looking for,
you need all over pajamas in Canada
because it's cold all the time.
So, and I got them,
and they were like triple XL.
They're way too big for me.
And I was like, I could,
I could maybe tailor these, or I could just give them to a male friend with,
with,
with what they call rules.
No,
they were so big.
They were so big that,
that I couldn't wear them.
Cause it would be like the dragging on the ground behind me,
you know,
like,
like it was just ridiculous.
So I give them my,
to my friend Seve,
who has really good style. Se was just ridiculous. So I give them to my friend Seve, who has really good style.
Seve sounds like... I would like to know what 3XL
man was out there
in the market for silk Taz
pajamas. I want to meet that guy.
I feel like it's like Montel Jordan.
I feel like they came from...
Yeah.
It really feels like that's...
I just had that... Obviously I took them to a medium
and we did it
we did an exorcism
can I ask what did Taz
do to grip a nation the way that
he did I don't understand
why he has such a deep
Clinton years when there was so much money
flowing and so much order and
everything was upper middle class
what the world needed was chaos.
Yeah.
I see.
I've seen so many dudes like dudes I grew up with who's like dads would have a dad's tattoo.
Like it is like I don't even he's not even like an original Looney Tune.
Right.
That's like late.
No stage Looney Tune.
My boy's got one.
He's got he's gotaz tattoo and he's 42.
He's my age.
I wish we had him on the show.
I want to ask him about like why I get that.
No, you don't.
But that's what I'm saying, right?
It's almost fedora-y.
You know, it's like a signaling of like male, super male counterculture.
But it's also like it's informed by like somebody in the fashion industry was like
Taz is going to be cool now. Like I have an association with Taz. So some like designer
somewhere was like Taz or maybe a counterculture came up with it. And then it got like recycled
and recycled and recycled until it's that now it's just Calvin pissing on a bumper sticker.
Richard Bane. I think he's just like, I think he's pure id is what it is.
He doesn't talk.
He's just like consumed.
You know what I'm saying?
There's no...
He doesn't seem to be driven by anything.
Yeah.
Does he eat?
What does he do?
Is he eating when he does that?
I thought that's all he does.
He devours.
He devours.
But he'll eat like a door, right? Like he'll eat anything? Because that's all he does. He devours. He'll eat like a door, right?
He'll eat anything?
Because that's when he cycles through.
He just shovels it all into his mouth.
Do you think Animal from the Muppets
came first or Taz?
Animal was first for sure.
Animal was like when I was a kid.
Taz like Hanna-Barbera's or Looney Tunes
rip off Animal.
They're like, we also need an animal.
That's a good question.
Oh,
well,
they just needed some new blood.
Anyway,
we're going to get to,
we're going to get to some of those questions.
Imagine the court case with Taz versus animal.
That's the,
that's the Netflix pitch.
We're going to give everyone a moment to imagine this as we take a very
short break.
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And we're back.
Hey, welcome back to all fantasy.
Everything already in progress.
Sean special comes out March 21st on Patreon.
$10 gets the access to 60 minutes of the hottest yuck yucks,
crack them ups and straight up barbs that you're going to find in the year 2024.
And if you're in Portland, Oregon, come to Rev Hall on March 23rd.
My good friend Ian Carmel is recording his first stand-up special.
I have been present to watch him work on this material over,
what would you say, the last year?
Yeah.
You've been digging it out?
I mean, yeah, but I've been around for a lot of it,
and it is on point.
It's fun to watch.
And let me just say this.
If you come,
if you either watch Sean special or come to my show without having watched
Royal crackers or Alice's Twitch or resident alien on Netflix,
I'm going to punch you in the face.
I'm going to punch you really hard.
Be forthright with the information.
I tried to go see Ian work on his show.
And,
um,
they said,
yeah, they barred me at the door and they said, it's too real for you. It's too real. And they said, yeah, they barred me at the door
and they said,
it's too real for you.
It's too real.
And I said, I understand.
And that's for you.
That's for your safety.
That's not like,
I value our friendship.
I think you're wonderful.
I celebrate you every chance I get.
I think I see it
as a further evaluation
of our friendship.
You understand what I can
and cannot handle.
I'm actually afraid
that the molecules of your
body would shudder and just
blast apart like that if you saw some of the stuff I was saying.
Get you a friend who cares for your molecules.
As I always say.
Balenciaga.
Alice, time for your third pick.
It's going to be a tinted
shade, baby. We'll go
real quick for these last two rounds.
Real quick, a tinted shade. Third round we can. Oh, last two rounds. Real quick. A tinted shade. Third round weekend.
Oh, tinted shade. Nice.
I love tinted glasses. Man, you
know what I think? I think of the dude from
Knott's Landing, the older attractive
gentleman from Knott's Landing. He was the first one I saw
with the tinted shades. Everybody,
real common reference. Everybody's going to know
what I'm talking about, especially because I don't know his name.
It's super, yeah. And that's, you
don't need, it's kind of the guy you don't need to know his name. It's super. Yeah. And that's, you don't need, it's kind of got the guy
you don't need to know his name
because it's too baked
into all of our,
our shared cultural experience.
So I,
I've been doing press,
I've been doing press,
I've been doing press
for Resident Alien
for quite some time.
And Mr. Alan Tudyk,
the star of our show,
lead actor in Resident Alien plays harry vander
love that guy he is great like he is a he has beautiful style and he wears these tinted glass
he wears tinted shades a lot when we're not shooting or when we're doing press or whatever
and i fucking think he looks so good and it's a little ironic because my boyfriend had these
tinted shades that
I used to make fun of him for wearing. But now I let him wear them again because I'm like,
I realize what you were doing. It was before my time. You were right. I was wrong. And then I
got these on eBay. These are vintage, some sort of, I saw these in, you saw that movie, the series,
The Staircase, the like scripted version
of the documentary
yeah with Colin Firth
the lady who played the ex-wife wore these in the courtroom
and I was like I love
wearing a tinted shade
in a court of law
they're fantastic
they're like I'm emotional
but I'm also high class
I'm emotional I can't handle but, but I'm also high class. I'm emotional.
I can't handle the lights in here.
Are you kidding me?
I just woke up.
I have a condition and it's bright in here.
I'm not saying you should wear fur, but that those sunglasses like would look good on the
Upper East Side.
Like, you know what I mean?
With like a fur coat, you know, kind of thing.
I have another version of them, which I'll get if we want to go to the next person and
I'll just put them on. You can just observe
that. I love that. We'll go ahead and do it. David Borey,
time for your third pick.
Oh, my third pick. I'm picking these because
I just never, I never, once
again, something I never did.
I always just thought, it was, it always
seemed like such a bold,
weird choice. I'm taking
Rave Pants. Oh,
God. Oh, yeah, dude.
I never did either.
It is crazy to me.
Oh, those are great.
Those are killer.
You should open with those.
You can get these.
Every one of you could wear these and look great.
Wide, wide face.
I don't wear sunglasses.
I wear the shit out of sunglasses.
I know you do.
You love them.
Yeah, I'm in there like swimwear.
I love shit.
Alice is wearing,
is that a tortoise shell?
Is it a tortoise shell with a,
yes, a tortoise shell with,
I want to say like a,
almost a cobalt blue or no,
maybe a little lighter,
like a,
it's just a beautiful blue lens.
It's a sky blue on the lens
coming across a little darker than it is,
but yeah.
Yeah.
Just gorgeous. Thank you. Yeah. Just like what a spring in a bowl blue on the lens. It's coming across a little darker than it is, but yeah. Yeah. Just gorgeous.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Just like what a spring in a bowl is, they say.
Easy.
It's easy.
It's like the mask for the pandemic when you're like, I don't want to put makeup on.
I don't want to worry about boogers.
I don't want to worry about my pimple and next to my mouth.
Boogers.
So I'll just wear this mask.
I don't want to worry about boogers.
My whole eye situation.
Like, I didn't even comb my eyelashes out today.
Me either.
You know I have to do that every day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rave pants.
David picked rave pants.
So rave pants is sort of like overlapping Venn diagram
with Sean's cross-colored pants.
But David.
I think about it as a different time though.
Rave pants got pockets,
they got shit hanging off them, they parachute.
Lots of straps.
Yeah, I was thinking about this.
Cross-colored pants have pockets?
Rave pants have cargo pockets.
Rave pants have pockets, pockets,
pockets, pockets.
I also think of them as post-cross-colors.
I think about it more in the timing
of like 98 99
2000 type static x yeah i just remember seeing them and i'd always be like wow it just seemed
like i never thought they looked cool but it was just it always seemed like such a wild choice
especially when i was a kid we were in was State. So these kids would have these giant rave pants and the bottoms would just be wet.
Yep.
And cut up.
Same in Minnesota.
Yeah.
Like, why are you wearing this?
This is like, you're working for this.
You are working for this.
It was a point of pride with how shitty the bottom of your pants looked.
I swear it was.
Was it?
Yes.
I did not know that.
It always seemed like your legs would be cold.
Yeah.
And the silhouette looked crazy.
They were so nuts.
Kids were just wearing those.
Oh, yeah.
In those days, it seemed so insane to me to wear something that intentioned.
You know what I mean?
Because I was just wearing like cargo shorts and a T-shirt.
And I'm like, you're making, you're really painting yourself into a corner with those pants.
Yes. Now you're that guy. Nobody's like, oh,
I just threw these on. You know what I mean?
You needed a summer in between
making a decision. Like, if you dress like that,
you needed a whole summer to be like, I don't dress
like this anymore. You couldn't just show up
the next day normal. You can't just
come on Tuesday because you bought
them on Monday night. You're right. At least
the spring break situation.
There was people.
Go ahead.
No, please.
You.
There's people in my high school who would wear a raver-esque pant, but it was a skater version of it.
And it was like a wide leg, but a little cropped above so that there was space.
God.
That's what the floods.
That's what they're doing now.
They're like the Jankos in the zones, that's what they're doing now. They're like the Jankos in the zones.
That's what they're doing now.
Okay.
So,
and they would,
I felt like that look was like,
it was really working because it was like,
okay,
this is a practical choice.
You can move around.
There's some snowboarding pants reference here.
So it kind of makes sense that you need this extra fabric as an athlete,
but it's obviously a style choice that you can kind of like,
sort of justify it.
But like these raver pants to me were never,
I never liked it because it was like there's
it really is the truest, again
David, picking something that has
become such a trend for people
with no style.
Can we go back to where skateboarders were athletes
a second ago? Well, yes, but
skateboarders are athletes.
Yeah, skateboarders kids nobody doesn't think
I guess like in the you know okay
okay yeah it's literally in the Olympics
yeah right
no
but those raver pants holy buckets
those were the worst yeah yeah it was
so many I like the David's
picking things that he like doesn't like
yeah they had
like like zippers and
buckles and stuff.
They were way too busy for me.
It was also crazy because it was like
at the time, when kids started wearing
those, I feel like it was like junior high.
It wasn't even reflecting
what they were into because nobody
was going to raves.
Yes.
Yeah.
Right.
They saw Seth Green and
Can't Hardly Wait. Really even listening
to techno music,
it was just they were wearing those pants.
My friend who wore those was into
death metal. He was into that
scream singing.
But he wore raver pants.
It's weird because I really like
a risky fashion choice,
but it's like,
I guess the reason it bothers me
is because it's not a risk
if all your friends are wearing it
and you literally will be ostracized
unless you have these insane,
ridiculous pants.
It's kind of giving emperors new clothes
because it's like everybody's agreeing
that this looks good,
but it's like it really,
we all outside are like,
you actually all look insane and stupid,
and it looks really impractical.
Those, man, the people who were into those pants, though,
it's like, kind of, like, the flip side of what you were saying,
like, I always thought they looked dumb.
But the people who liked that shit,
some of those, and some big, like, the women who wore those pants,
but then, like, big, tall shoes, like. But you're describing pants but then like big tall shoes.
Like. But you're describing somebody who actually went to a rave.
That's the difference.
Like a tiny little tank top.
Yeah, like 14
year old kids who started smoking this year.
Yeah, and they would wear that
in like a saliva hoodie.
Yeah.
That guy, that lead singer is
soaked. His hair looks lead singer is soaked.
His hair looks like it is soaked every second of the day.
It was just, yeah. I just think about it when I think about trends and fast things passing and just like,
when you look back and you're like, what the fuck was that?
Ray Pants is like right in there for me.
That might be the most trendy trend ever.
That is really, I think, yeah.
You have to have won something with that.
Yeah.
He wins the draft.
He wins the draft.
I feel like he did.
I'm just winning a middle school outfit.
That's right.
You really are.
Time for me to make my...
David so far, well, I'll save the whole list until the end.
And it's funny to picture someone wearing all that.
Time for my third and my fourth picks I'm going to
take this is a
symbolic pick but I'm going to take the
chambray shirt
the chambray button up
for men as a representative
of sort of the Ralph Lauren work wear
aesthetic
I have two Ralph Lauren
chambray shirts in my closet right now
me too
fucking shout out to that
to Ralph Lipschitz
one of our great Jews
it's a great shirt
it's so good, taking American work wear
and like turning it into something
that you can wear, like you can put it under
a blazer, it has to be the right blazer
it has to be like a tweed or an outdoor blazer
but like it's just such a great shirt. You can pair it with denim. You can pair
it with corduroy. You can pair it with all sorts of different other things. It looks good, but it
looks dressed down. It looks classically American, but also like British, like taking to the country
in a fun way. Like it's been interpreted by, you can be on a sailboat. It's summery, but you can
also wear it in the odd. It's been interpreted by so many different be on a sailboat. It's summery, but you could also wear it in the odd.
It's been interpreted by so many different groups of people.
I just love it.
And also, shout out to Ralph Lauren
for making clothes in bigger dude sizes for so long.
And, like, you could dress well and, like, wear this shirt.
And you're like, yeah, man, I'm fucking...
Yeah, I just...
Shout out to Ralph Lauren for wanting money.
It's like, why is it so difficult for fashion houses to understand the real size that people actually exist in?
Like, people's bodies are the size that they are.
And they also have money.
And they need to put clothes on the bodies.
Maybe do the clothes for the bodies.
It's like, fucking drives me crazy.
I hate. I just wish someone would explain it to him like that. They'd be like, oh's like fucking drives me crazy. I hate.
I just wish someone would explain it to him like that.
They'd be like, oh, I never thought about that.
I'm a consultant.
Heavy slimane.
I want to be a consultant with like a,
like dressed up like those guys from the Geico commercials,
the Neanderthals from the Geico commercials.
Make clothes for bodies.
Those are still funny.
They really are.
They still work.
I love that choice, Ian.
And also,
if a shirt is made of denim
and it looks good with denim,
that's a well-made product.
That's well-made.
That's a good idea.
Just make sure
it's not the exact same wash.
It could be.
Well, you could be, actually.
Yeah, you could.
You could.
You could.
You could be in a tuxedo,
but, you know. Pop open a couple buttons. Well, you could be, actually. Yeah, you could. You could be a Canadian tuxedo, but, you know.
Pop open a couple buttons.
Put a tinted glass in there. Put a tinted glass in there, baby.
Tinted glass. Those glasses would look great
with a chambray shirt. It would.
Yeah. Everybody look under your seats.
I am going to go now with
a fashion trend that is a staple of my warm weather wardrobe.
And that is the visible tank.
I'm saying tank as opposed to the, you know, the indelicate term, you know, the tank top.
Yeah, the tank top.
You don't want to call it the WB.
The wife beater.
The WB.
The wife beater, as it were.
The undershirt. A slingshot.
The undershirt. The undershirt tank.
Slingshot. Yeah.
I love that.
So I guess the item would be that itself, but it is the
unbuttoned
button-up.
Fireworks!
How does that happen?
Zoom is going off.
The unbuttoned shirt with the visible tank top underneath.
You throw a couple chains in there.
It looks good.
It takes something that's maybe a little too formal and stuffy
and gives it some like a casual sense of play.
I'm going to go ahead and say in there.
And I just love it.
I think like that with a short sleeve button up shirt of linen or cotton or even chambray or whatever it is.
I just really enjoy that look.
And it's tucked into a higher waisted pant.
I like the traditional cut with the racer back.
Has to be.
It's nice.
Yeah.
We're not talking about the G unit ones.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Should we see a guy try to wear one of those?
Yeah, dude.
Only 50 Cent can wear that shirt.
And even he really can't.
Even I'm not, yeah, right?
You're just like, I guess so.
I'm not going to argue with you.
Yeah, it looked insane.
Those are crazy.
I've never seen one in real life.
I'd like to touch one.
I've seen a few in real life.
It's nuts.
I've seen a couple.
It's weird.
You're like, stop it.
Also, like, almost, no, you have to be as buff as 50 Cent to almost get away with it.
No, you can't just be a boy.
No, and I saw a lot of boys.
Like a soft-shouldered boy.
Yeah.
Like, you better put football pads over that now, bro.
You look nuts.
Right now, dude.
Yeah.
So that's my pick.
I just love the visible the visible WB
yeah you could call it
a ribbed tank
a ribbed tank
and that's another thing that has
throughout body types much like the
chambray shirt and actually
everything I picked but like
the entire journey where I'm like I still like
them now I liked them then I liked them when I was even
smaller I like they just just, it fucking works.
David, time for your fourth pick.
Love you, Eve. Okay, so
are we, is this
just clothing items or can I do a hairstyle?
For sure, hairstyle, yes.
Oh, okay, great. I'm taking the Gumby.
Yeah. Are you familiar with the Gumby?
It's just like, I never
had one. I wanted a high top
fade when I was a kid. It just wasn't in the cards. But it's just like, as far one I wanted a high top fade when I was a kid it just wasn't in the cards but it's just
like as far as like an intricate
cause like I was just talking to my
friend about this the other day for black
dudes it's really you kind
of get your hair cut young and you run
with it and there's not really
a ton of moves that people
like there are those guys who do that but for most
of them like I've been getting a low fade
since I was 7, 8 years old you know what i'm saying so it's like to see something like a
gumby and just like how many different ways they had them and like yeah you seen like bobby browns
where it was crazy tilted it was just like a really wild cool hairstyle i always thought i
always thought it kind of came back oh sorry to interrupt no no i just i always even as a kid i always thought it looked so cool it was such an
interesting thing to do with hair yes and it's like uniquely two black men you know what i mean
where it's like why like even the the you know there's the of course the the jufro right which
whatever there was never a jew gumby there no, nobody else would curl your kinky hair.
It's even tried.
Was there a Jugambi?
I don't know why that's so,
I don't know why that's so funny to me.
What are your new neighbors like?
Oh, look at Jugambi.
Jugambi.
They're from Jugambia.
The kind of Jumbi
also had a Grace Jones connotation.
Grace Jones had that hairstyle for a second too.
Definitely.
Definitely.
Yeah.
It's a nice trend because it has,
it does have a lot of like,
in between the parentheses of the Gumby hairstyle,
there's like, you can be very conservative.
You can be very Grace Jones.
You can be very.
My mom had one for a little bit.
She had a flat top for a little bit.
I love when women have that hairstyle.
Yeah.
It's like,
it's just like,
it was just a really chic as fuck.
Usher had one like last year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
New Orleans.
Noel had the Gumby,
uh,
in the NBA a few years ago.
I remember seeing,
I'm like,
Oh cool.
This is coming back.
And then I'll,
yeah,
it's like,
it's like a,
it's a,
it's a dope.
I mean,
Jimmy Butler have one.
I'm trying to,
Jimmy Butler had a little one?
Jimmy Butler has had every kind of hairstyle, but I don't know that he had the Gumby.
The only problem with a hairstyle like this that I could foresee is that you would have a, it's like, it's a definitive choice.
You didn't just like go to the barber and like do this by accident.
You know what I mean?
Like it's obvious that you picked this haircut.
And so anything you wear kind of has to hit a certain level of like intention.
I don't think you can dress down with a Gumby for sure.
Exactly.
That'd be tough, right?
You're like, yeah.
You can't just be like, I just threw on some Uggs with my Gumby.
No, if you're wearing sweatpants, it's got to be like a fashion sweatpants.
They're like.
How hard is that?
But you know what?
It's a commitment to excellence.
You know, it's a dedication.
It's a commitment to excellence. It's a dedication.
Which is why
my next pick actually would...
Well, what's your morning like with a Gumby?
Are you spending like half an hour
in there?
I think you just gotta pick it out.
I think you gotta pick it out.
I think you have to go to the barber
frequently.
To keep it shaped.
Yeah, because you can't have a lot of
extraneous stuff popping out of your Gumby.
I think Reitman
kind of had a Jew Gumby.
You're still trying to make the Jew Gumby happen.
Who was it?
John Turturro
and Barton Fink?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who am I thinking of? Who's the Ghostbusters?
Harold Ramis?
Harold Ramis. Yeah, yeah, Harold Ramis. Wait, Ivan Reitman. Who am I thinking of? Who's the Ghostbusters? Harold Ramis? Harold Ramis.
Harold Ramis.
Yeah, yeah, Harold Ramis.
Wait, am I?
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
You have to be.
No, it's still not Harold Ramis.
Who was the actor?
A Ghostbuster actor?
Who was the actor with the Gumby, man?
Who had the Jew Gumby?
In Ghostbusters?
Siri.
I might be, I might be way.
Not a lot of heads in Ghostbusters.
I don't want to Google Jew Gumby just because I'm out of my depth.
I'm out of my depth. Let's move on.
I got so scared
because Siri is actually answering my question.
Is that
who had a Drew Gumby? And Siri's like,
I've been writing.
Alice, you are now on a watch list.
You know who had a nice Gumby was Reggie Miller.
Yeah.
Yeah. He did for a long time too. Before he tookgie Miller. Yeah. Yeah. He did for a long time, too.
Yeah.
Before he took it down.
Yeah.
That's how you know it probably takes a lot of work,
because he eventually was like,
all right, I got to get out of the Gumby.
Yeah, he's like, I'm trying to win a championship.
Yeah.
Alice, time for your fourth pick.
Okay.
How many do I have left, by the way?
Four and five, and five is a speed round.
Okay, so for this, this i'm gonna go with um
so i do have one more i'm gonna go with bowling shirt
bowling shirt i feel like it's it's uh you know it came back in a big way in the 90s during like
the swingers time and i kind of pooh-poohed it at the time
and it's come back huge now and it's uh and there's and then now that it's back uh for third
time there's like a lot of versions you can have access to like a vintage so you can get accessible
when you can go to savers and find one you can go to wherever or you can get like a really nice
trees van noten and taste you know seven,000 for a shirt if you want to.
Yeah.
If you need to like hide some money for some reason.
I like it because it's unisex too.
It's just like, it's genderless.
It just can go anywhere.
You can wear open over a t-shirt, which I love.
Or if you get a really big one and you're me,
you can wear it as a dress.
Do you belt it or you go in full?
No, you wouldn't belt that.
I wouldn't belt it because if you belt a t-shirt dress
and it's just, it's a giant thing,
then you risk belting it
and then having the edges show your butthole.
Right, right, right, right.
The edge creep.
The whole thing, there's no hole up there yet.
Then you'd be doing a peplum,
so you'd have to wear a different pant underneath,
which kind of defeats the whole purpose
of the easy big t-shirt dress.
It's a bowling shirt. Are we calling that any button
up short sleeve as a bowling shirt?
No, I don't have to have it. Vertical stripes.
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Vertical stripes
or pieces of flare of some
kind. That's what I'm thinking. There's this
company Double
Rainbow. Here,
I'll Google it and send it to you.
Sorry about my keyboard, by the way.
It's like...
It's Isaac's problem.
I know. I'm sorry, Isaac.
Much like the runtime of this podcast.
I am dying over here.
I'm dying.
What are you going to complain more about?
How you got eight hours of sleep
and now you get to listen to your good friends?
I've been wanting this one for a while.
It is amazing that I
just get to laugh for a little bit.
It's pretty fun.
We're amazing that we get to have you
join us for this.
Period. We're amazing.
You should just stop there.
We're amazing.
I didn't even think about them in different
patterns. I was only thinking about
the traditional.
I don't know what about them in different patterns. I was only thinking about the traditional. Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know what else to call it.
Cause it's not like it's,
it's camp shirts too.
Right.
And it's veering into the bowling league I've ever seen.
I'll tell you that.
That's well,
this isn't really a bowling shirt.
It's veering into Hawaiian shirt territory,
but the difference is,
I think is the Hawaiian shirt buttons up all the way to the
top, whereas the camp shirt
slash bowling shirt has this open
collar, I think.
I can't normally get to the top.
Any kind of traditionally men's
but a little bit wild coloring
type camp type shirt
with short sleeves.
Super into those.
And wear it with the gloves.
Excellent pick. Sean, time for your fourth and then your final pick. Super into those. And wear it with the gloves. Yeah. Excellent pick.
Sean, time for your fourth
and then your final picks
as a Serpentine Draft.
Isaac's dying.
Just keep that in mind.
This has always been
one of my favorite looks.
Pretty basic,
but long sleeve shirt
with a short sleeve shirt over it.
Oh, I love that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's gorgeous.
Yeah, it went away for a long time
and it's back again.
And I always, I love it.
I like a long-sleeve shirt under the short-sleeve.
You three-quarters sleeve the long-sleeve, you know.
The long underwear under there?
I never really did the thermals.
I'd always just find like a long-sleeve T-shirt that I, whatever.
I'd wear it forever.
A lot.
I did the thermals, yeah.
Thermals.
Yeah, I loved it.
I took a swing the other night and I,
I did that long sleeve under short sleeve.
And as soon as I left the house,
I'm like,
idiot,
everyone's going to notice.
Everyone's going to look at you like an asshole.
And so I put a hoodie on over it.
And I was like,
nobody knew that I made the swing.
I need to like call you separately about this problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like taking fashion.
I'm,
I worry.
I swear if it's anything other than like a hoodie or a t-shirt
and then jeans,
I feel like I'm,
you know,
Liberace or something.
He put on a brown jacket.
Like not even,
like I don't even know
the right way to describe it.
Like a brown kind of
coach's jacket.
I'm between like a UPS jacket
and a coach's jacket almost.
It's like.
And you thought that was
too much dip on your chip.
You were a little bit worried.
You looked phenomenal.
Thank you, I was extremely worried.
Do you know what Sean would look really good in that he would never wear, but I
think we should all try to get him to wear it.
Is a men's
boiler suit.
I'm just saying this is an Alex Mill
jumpsuit. I got one of these
for my boyfriend Garrett.
He's adorable in it. Whoa, that would be cool. I'm just saying this is an Alex Mill jumpsuit. I got one of these for my boyfriend, Garrett. Wow.
He's adorable in it.
Whoa, that would be cool.
It's so cool for men to wear.
I love jumpsuits because you fucking look intentional and fashionable,
but you're not like a fashion victim because you're obviously,
I obviously didn't spend too much time on my outfit
because I have a shirt and top at the same time, dude.
Shirt and top, same time. Couldn't spend that much same time, dude. Shirt and top, same time.
Couldn't spend that much time, could I?
Shirt and top, same time.
You'll be ready for a while because that will never see my skin.
It's happening. Come on, you'd be the best
comedian to rock it since Dave Chappelle.
You would be.
Kyle went through his jumper phase like a year ago.
Sam, when we were young, got
somehow sponsored by
Bulwark's brand
coveralls for like a summer
no surprises there
yeah yeah then he cut them off and made
them coveralls it was insane
he cut them off?
no he cut like the
bottoms off
I thought he was like I'm done
no it was like a coverall short
thing he had going on.
A jumpsuit cut off?
That sounds...
It was a weird summer.
Your final pick?
Last pick is basically Aaliyah,
but I'm picking sports bra with an open button up over it.
That was always like, I don't know.
That was always just amazing to me.
When I was a kid, I'd be like, man, if I... I don't know if it wouldn't
look insane for me. I just... It was like, that looks
awesome. Yes, sure. It was attractive.
But it also just looked cool to me.
Like super, super cool looking.
So that. Yeah, she
looked awesome. Yeah, she did.
That was definitely a look like
Jade and SWV.
But Aaliyah was like... I think of Aaliyah
and that's what pops in is like
joe boxer sports bra denim shirt over it open and then just like being big tommy hill flicker jeans
and then the locs and the rag to go with it i mean it was like a whole her everything she did
and the tims i was like yeah man she knew that girl if you saw her and you asked her out and
she turned you down in a brutal, brutal way, you'd go, thank you.
Please.
I didn't mean to bother you.
I'll cut you off right there.
I wouldn't ask her out.
Yeah, I would.
I'd just turn around.
Yeah, because you realize that she doesn't, she's not going to give you the time of day.
You don't want to, you'd almost be like happy to be turned down by that. It's like that thing in a movie where like a tough guy beats up like 15 people and there's one guy left and he throws himself off the bridge into the water.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Yeah.
I'd cross the street and be like, I can't be on this side.
You'd just see her and you'd be like, if you end up near her enough, you'd just be like, I apologize.
I understand.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm trying out the jumper.
It's first day.
Your final pick.
My final pick?
Big ass coat.
Yeah.
Big ass coat.
It's just real easy.
It's simple.
I brought, I have two.
Again, I'm going to run after I do my spiel.
I'm going to run and show you the coats.
I should have had them next to me.
I'm sorry.
But I have two really big denim.
It's like a chore coat, but just really giant. It makes me think of when I used to work at Anna Sui, we'd get these like
tons and tons of Japanese customers. And they were often like young 20 year old women,
Japanese women. And they always wore oversized clothes. And it blew my mind because I'm like,
you're short like me, like you're not really tall
and you're rocking these oversized looks
and they look great.
They look really good.
I soon discovered that like most of them were flat chested
and I have D cups and it still doesn't look good on me,
but big ass coat, I can rock.
And so, and anybody can wear a coat
with exaggerated oversized feature.
It's a denim, it's a,
you could do a khaki chore coat
in an oversized, but also especially
like a really cool puffer also works.
A hoodie.
A hoodie with a chore jacket
over it, but it's all big.
Here, I'll get it. You guys talk.
In the meantime, David, do you
want to make your final pick?
My final pick is, tell
me if this works. It's like, it's more of a time thing, but do you remember like I want to make your final pick uh my final pick is tell me if this works it's like it's more of a
time thing but do you remember like like i want to say like oh four oh three uh cameron and okay
cameron inspired it he's rocking a purple giant chore coat it looks awesome
uh i was gonna say yeah cameron inspired, but I'm talking again, pink for dudes.
Do you remember that?
I mean, that was Cameron. And then all of a sudden it hit,
and then all your friends,
and I remember they had like,
you'd see like losers and like real men
wear pink t-shirts and shit like that.
Yeah.
But like, because it like went all the way down to Kohl's.
Like it was, but it was like our whole, our youth,
it was like, we grew up with that.
Like pink is for boys, blah, blah, blah, blah for boys blah blah blah and then out of nowhere cameron who i think to this day for many
of his cultural innovations came out and then everybody was wearing pink and it was
crazy it like affected me i was wearing pink i was like yeah he's doing pinwheel pink hats and
you're like cameron Where did you get it?
Yeah.
Where do you even get it?
Where would you even buy it?
Are you dying them?
Yeah.
He had a pink race rover.
First of all, that jacket is a triumph.
You look fantastic.
It's so easy.
But pink for men.
Yeah.
Shout out to Cameron in general.
Just a salute to him on this Fashion Trends podcast.
Everything you've done for us.
I'm not drafting, but also that very,
that's almost seemingly starched bandana that Jewels wore.
Yeah, like it kept its shape.
Yeah, like on its own.
Time for my final pick, the final pick of the draft.
And I'm going to take dad shoes.
That becoming a trend.
New balances.
The new balances.
Those Reebok.
The Adidas. Even the Adidas
Sambas to an extent.
Are Sambas dad shoes?
I think they're virgin. I think they're kind of
rode that wave. Those Reeboks that they
just came back out with. Also, I want to say
I don't know if you guys remember. I was wearing Sambas like six,
seven years ago.
You were way ahead of the wave.
Pretty early on the Samba train.
I remember you were,
you got like five pairs of Reeboks about six years ago too.
And you were like Reeboks.
And now they're like fully back.
It was wild how that worked.
Like the way they popped back up is I think Gucci made a Samba and then Harry
Styles started wearing them.
And then all these dudes who want to dress like Harry Styles
started wearing Sambas.
They're like sold out, right?
Like you can't even get them in there.
Because I liked them because they were hella cheap.
Like when I was wearing them,
you could get them for like 75 bucks.
Hell yeah.
Once Harry's wearing it, it's over.
It's over.
Both the Harry Styles, Harry Lambert combo.
Can't get it now.
Can't get it.
Harry and the Hendersons. But the dude, Harry and the Hendersons too. Yeah, Harry Lambert combo. Can't get it now. Can't get it. Harry and the Hendersons.
But the dude, Harry and the Hendersons.
Yeah, Harry Giles III.
Dad shoes, new balance, just comfy.
How that kind of became, like, I don't know if I just became cooler with it or, and it,
but also no, like cool designers started working and I'm like,
Salahe Bembere and Joe Fresh Goods.
They do really cool.
There's a lot of really cool.
Also, people have been on it.
DC has been on it.
Like, that's their shit for years and years and years.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
Like, when we went to DC last time, remember, I went to PG Plaza with Jamel.
And they had New Balances I've never even seen on the internet.
Conversely, I was just in Portland.
And I'm, like, in the market for some new balances right now.
Ofer.
Couldn't find it.
Like the Foot Locker had like a few pairs,
but like if you go to these resale shops or anything like that,
nada, nothing.
They got nothing for you.
Yeah.
You're not trying to get Foot Locker new balances, you know?
No, not necessarily.
I just got some pink ones that go crazy.
Beautiful.
I wanted those 993 grays, but like the classic cool gray.
And I couldn't find them.
Anyway, that is the final pick.
I linked a picture of Tracee Ellis Ross real quick in the Acne Studios.
Whoa.
Ugly shoes.
She's my style.
I mean, she's like the greatest.
Those are grandpa shoes.
Those aren't even dad shoes.
I was going to say.
She wears really, really, really like ugly
whatever, the ugly shoe trend. She wears
it a lot. And these
shoes she put on my radar and I've been wanting them
for so long and I wonder if it's
time. I wonder if it might be time.
It's time. Just you saying that.
Just you saying that, Ian, it might be time
for me to finally bite the bullet.
This is your sign.
We'll see. Isaac Lee,
what is your pick?
I'm going to go with all black,
which is something that you guys have seen as a staple
of my wardrobe. I've been basically dressing
in all black since I was 18 when I moved to New York.
Love fashion.
You showed everyone in Phoenix
all black for the first time.
I've never seen you wear color.
Yeah, I rarely wear color.
I think I've seen you wear like a white t-shirt before.
I have my big red clipper starter jacket.
That's usually my statement kind of jacket.
I have a few colored items in my wardrobe,
but it's 80% black.
Yeah, that's all I've ever seen you wear,
top to bottom.
It looks good on Asian people
because we have black hair.
He said it.
I said it.
You guys can agree.
I'm like, I don't know what's going on.
Sean's still freaking out from Chocolate City.
I call DC Chocolate City,
but I'm not going to say anything.
Everything that's going on with Asian people?
Is that what I'm supposed to say?
Am I supposed to say?
Yeah, I think it's like, and so it? Is that what I'm supposed to say? Am I supposed to say?
And so it should.
And what you said, correct.
And I love to give you space to say such things,
which are true. As we all agree.
As you believe.
And I, too.
I will say that as a people,
you do tend to be...
No, I'm joking.
I thought you were...
I was like, oh, no.
I got him.
I got him.
Now that I have the room.
To recap, Sean, you went first.
And again, I encourage the listeners
to think of this as one outfit.
I drafted me watching an Aaliyah video
is what I drafted.
Gigantic color blocking pants,
starter jackets, looney
tunes, long sleeve under a short
sleeve, and a sports bra with an open
button up. Alice, you
went second. You took gloves, silver
jeans, tinted shades, bowling
shirts, and big ass coats.
Which I feel like that might be a
outfit you get off in the next couple
days just in general. You showed us every part of it.
And the only thing is I didn't pick shoes.
So I'm just going to steal Ian's dad shoes.
That's our pick.
David, you went third.
You took shoulder pads, the fedora, rave pants, the Gumby haircut, and pink for dudes.
That's a look.
And frankly, I can't wait to see.
You see that guy coming up to you?
Yeah.
I can't decide if it's a red flag or a green flag.
So it's like, I just stand still,
stock still, hope he doesn't see me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That could be Demolition Man right there.
I'm wearing that when you record your special.
I'm going to be in the crowd.
You'll be the first Jew Gumby.
That feels like a guy who's definitely an alien trying to pretend to be human.
Yeah.
He saw the Rolodex of all clothes and was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's going to get salutations.
Hello, fellow humans.
You can't have any facial hair if you do that.
Yeah.
No, I'll go clean.
I'll go clean for sure.
You can't have any.
I might shave my head.
I might pick my eyebrows. I guess I have to have a You can't have any. I might shave my head. I might pick my eyebrows.
I guess I have a Gumby.
But I'm picking my eyebrows
and my mustache.
I went throwback jerseys, basketball
shoes as fashion. The Jordan one, the
chambray shirt, the visible tank top and
dad shoes.
I mean, it's a really you're a classic
man. That's a classic man.
Classic. Yeah. I'm an ecstasy dealer. you're a classic man. That's a classic man. Classic man. Yeah.
I'm an ecstasy dealer.
We got a couple of those here.
We want to hear your picks.
Send us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter,
allfantasypodcast at gmail.com.
Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon.
Thank you for holding us down.
A place where you will be able to get exclusive tickets to that tour.
Also, you're going to get all those live shows on the Patreon. That's where all those
are going to go. All those live shows. The first bite of the apple
as far as tickets go. Bonus episodes,
mailbags, auction drafts,
plus Isaac's collection of
tasteful nudes. That's right.
All black. All black.
All white. All black and white.
Shout out to Super Producer
Isaac on the ones and twos. Thank you for sitting through a two and a half hour podcast, Isaac. It was my pleasure. It black and white. Shout out to super producer Isaac on the ones and twos.
Thank you for sitting through a two and a half hour podcast, Isaac.
Thank you.
It was my pleasure.
It'll be shorter.
I love fashion.
Yeah, I like hearing about fashion.
I'm so glad.
Isaac is a fashion play for sure.
Yeah, I can tell.
Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel.
Shout out to Frankie Ocean.
Shout out to Sid the Dude.
Shout out to Haji Beats.
And more important than all of that,
tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
Shaklack!
That was a Hate Gum podcast.