All Fantasy Everything - Power Moves (w/ Dan Devine, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

Thursday couldn’t come soon enough because this we’re drafting “Power Moves!” We were going to record a few weeks ago, but Dan pulled the ultimate power move and bailed! Gangster shit. Enjoy. Guest: Dan Devine @yourmandevine IG: @yourdandevine   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auctions drafts, video pre-rolls, and more. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Venmo: @marissa-melnyk Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting power moves. Our guest today is a senior NBA writer at Yahoo Sports. He's the co-host of the new NBA podcast, No Cap Room.

Returning to the pod today, it's Dan Devine. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. And joining me, as always, are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Cue that music. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Flantasy Everything, the podcast where we draft different kinds of flan. Desserts, dude. Desserts, dude. We go berserk on desserts.

Never had flan. You never had flan? Wait, that's one of the least surprising things i've ever heard in my entire life yeah is it because it's a textury thing and i feel like you might you might be uh uh scared off by it's like custard technically it tastes like shrimp and olives and mushrooms no it tastes divine those things also good those things also good though i like those things are also fine yeah like notoriously shrimp is great yeah but flan tastes like i want to say it's got kind of like

a well david hit the nail on the head it's a custardy yeah it's got like they usually put like that caramely syrup on top yeah like light caramel all over the top is really yeah it's it's great it sounds great light caramel that's when i That's when I'm doing, when I moved into McGregor's division. Take him on. That's great. Huge lion and tiger fighting across your chest. Yep. I got him on there.

I got him on there. That's when you hit a mid-range jumper. That's right. Light caramel. That's light caramel, dude. Yeah, that's light. Don't make me take it to behind the arc. I will, though.

NBA range, whatever you want. Yeah, whatever you want. NBA range, rock and jock range. I'll fucking light you up for rock and jock range, dude. Football or basketball. I'll hit you with a 50-pointer right now. I'll be out there on the court in a Barkalandra with wheels on it, bro. I don't care.

It's you and Nelly, the only ones who ever hit it. I'm wearing more Band-Aids. I beheaded Dan Cortez, so I have his power. So here we go. A lot of people don't know that rock and jo Jack operates on Highlander rules, but it does. It's Highlander rules for sure. No, there could be only one. That's exactly right.

How do we think Dan Cortez is doing right now? I'm a little worried. I feel like if I looked into that, there might be some hashtags and some content that I might not want to be a part of. Yeah. I'm looking into it. Is it ESE? ESE. could yeah he could have been activated at a certain date that you remember those commercials where he the burger

king commercials he did they did one in sioux falls and my buddy swank chief was in the commercial and he took a bite yeah he took he took a bite out of a whopper and he got royalty he i saw him probably nine years ago and he said he was randomly sometimes got a royalty check for it. That's incredible. I mean, they'll also royalty check you down to four cents. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't say they were big, but it's just like he was just at Burger King. This was 92, I bet.

We were 10 or something. He was just at burger king and they're like take a bite of a whopper he took a bite of a whopper hell yeah brother in this national burger king commercial with with your boy dan cortez is glad that didn't go to like that guy's private reserve just like just tell little kids bite that whopper let me take a bite of your parents are here right yeah national commercial so in 2019 he hosted something called a beach bake battle but it doesn't have its own wikipedia page and it doesn't say what network what do you think it was i think it was like a baking show but they did it on a beach okay was he rock or

was he jock he was jock he was jock put those hands together my friend that's what i always like was he in that like did he play like d1 d2 baseball or he was a backup quarterback at the university of north carolina yeah he was mtv sports he was like the MTV Sports guy, right? Yeah. They really thought that was going to work. It did work for a lot. Rock and Jock should never have left. I don't know why. I don't know why Rock and Jock isn't around. There's kids who, of course, don't know what it is.

It's fantastic. It's like the same as like this. I don't want to watch celebrity boxing. I'd rather just watch Boxer's Box. You know what I mean? Or like aggressively non-Boxer's Box. I either want like total amateurs in the street or I want the highest level.

Right, right, right. That mid-level. Because I feel like Rock and Jock was always like, oh, Nelly broke for six again. Rock and Jock. Oh, the two guys who are good at basketball. Oh, Chris Brown dunked on him or whatever's going on. Yeah. There was, we'll always have the moment guys who are good at basketball oh chris brown dunked on him or whatever's going on yeah

there was that we'll always have the moment when queen latifah picked sean camp's pocket though like that like as a as a cultural moment you're like i mean i don't know maybe that's why it ended like how are we going to get better than queen latifah just cookies on sean camp and then taking it the other way that was it not a lot in that pocket that's not a lot to pick from but yeah yeah but he's he's down to shoot for it that's what you gotta know wasn't he the sean camp drive-by thing it wasn't a drive from what i understood it was like somebody took his phone or something like that and he tracked his iphone to like the parking lot of the tacoma mall and there was like an altercation it wasn't like i don't think it was like a pop out the window like type of situation

that's one that uh that the the twitter got a hold of and turned into something that it wasn't i don't even know possibly easy easy on twitter okay twitter didn't do anything to you twitter's fine twitter's out here it did a bunch of stuff to me. Don't talk to me like that. It's not Twitter, bro. It is Twitter. Twitter's great. Twitter's positive. It's sending a good message to everyone who's

on it. Everyone's in a good mood because of Twitter. So, 301, man. I'm just out here taking weird takes. We're on Mastodon, dude. Find us on Mastodon. Find us on Truth Social. Also, I'm Sean Jordan on Twitter. takes. We're on Mastodon, dude. Find us on Mastodon. Find us on Truth Social. Also, I just... Sean Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. David Boyer, you were saying?

I was just saying, I ran back that Queen Latifah clip. It is amazing. Just like right in there. Just like fast hands. Timed up his dribble. It's just good basketball. He didn't see it coming. And this is prime cam. This is prime cam. She's good at this is everything right so she's just one of those people who's like whatever you got she's gonna i think she can do a little bit of all of it

yes yeah like she like her her bowling average is like 210 like she's like exactly exactly yeah oh you throw it with a hook this way all right i do that and then two two uh two frames later she's got it down yeah yeah yeah into a half marathon just kind of bangs it out yeah no training kind of thing that's right just drinking coffee the whole time did her own taxes at the height of her career and nailed it oh my god so many states so many countries such a bummer john jordan you're doing your taxes right now right i did them yesterday yeah i did uh it wasn't as hard of a pill to swallow as as last year because i'm married it saved a little bit of money and i got them done early which now

i'm happy i don't have to whatever they're done i they're done so i did it i didn't even buy myself a pair of shoes or anything like i normally do i just did my taxes had some coffee and it was done hell yeah brother it feels by the government what do you where do you like to think your money went some dumb shit i don't know man i yeah i don't i don't i like to think it i would love to think that it would go to people that i see every single day walking around who don't have health insurance i would love to think that they went there and maybe got one of them a band-aid or something i'm sorry that's incorrect you it was a rest stop bathroom renovation rest stop bathroom renovation is where your money went cool cool i mean all things considered it's pretty cool mine went to a tank so like that's not

yeah ideal there's worse there's worse places for it to go yeah was it a panzer well i mean i don't know you gotta call me names that's not nice i show up here on your podcast and you're out here calling me a panzer i I don't appreciate that. It's the only kind of tank I know. Sean Jordan, what about an M1 Abrams, dude? You only know a Nazi tank? I think so. Wow.

I don't know. I can't name any. You've heard of an M1 Abrams, though. That's like the one in all the movies. There's a Sherman tank. I know what a Sherman tank is. Is that German? No, it just rhymes.

Sherman the German? Yeah, I'm starting to remember. Riding the tank around. is a sherman tank i know what a sherman tank is that german no it just rhymes sherman the german riding the tanker sherman tank is an american tank oh that's sherman to german and western april 27th come to high note comedy portland oregon chris charpentier it's going to be fantastic he's fantastic you will love him wouldn't steer you wrong and then may we got rob hayes we'll talk more about that in may but we got good stuff coming up i'm very both of them okay i don't i don't know how this is this isn't meant to sound bad i always mean it but with those two i super mean it they're they're fantastic and i hope that doesn't sound weird i always mean it i wouldn't put on a show that i i didn't love the comics,

but they're just, they're both. he usually books really bad comedians. Yeah. No. He usually would hate it. Anyone but Chris Sharpentier

and Rob Hayes who's been on High Note or its previous iteration, Sean didn't like personally. Yeah. He sort of gasses them up so that it's a pump and dump scheme. He's like,

I really want to gas them up and then I take the cash out. Yeah, exactly. Normally, I got to pay like at least 200 bucks for a pump and dump.. He's like, I really want to gas him up. And then I take the cash out. Yeah, exactly. Normally, I got to pay like at least 200 bucks for a pump and dump. So it's fun when I get paid for it. I'm into that. Is that nice?

Is that nice for you to say on this podcast? That's crap. I find that to be a crass joke. Well, you know who doesn't have crass jokes is Chris Charpentier. And you can hear those April 27th comedy migration brewing. I think we'll be back outside by then. And I hopefully I can back outside by then. Hopefully, I can say it by now.

I'm doing a show April 24th in Los Angeles at Los Globos. I should have a ticket link up. They should go fast, so come to that. It's a taping for Comedy Central, and it's going to be great. I'm excited. People are coming to that, dude. People are coming to that. Well, nobody showed up in Fort Collins. It will have happened.

So you're right. Nobody showed up. And I just sat there. I just said that to protect your feelings so you can sort of set an expectation for yourself. Somebody did literally tell me the other day, they were like, oh, I bought tickets to shop,

but I can't go, so I'm not going to show up. You're going to find that is just sort of like when you see a couple of amps and you know there's a bunch more, you know, house that's fine you buy the tickets i don't care what you do you just make sure the money transfers and i am golden there he is he's our golden god john jordan uh david borey is here cool guy jokes 87 on instagram david where can people see your

your your exploits comedic and otherwise when does this come out april 20th april 20th yeah okay well i'll be mad bull i'm smoking weed today uh tomorrow come see britney carney at high note denver she's very funny uh writer for that damn michael che new york headliner very very funny and then i got nothing crazy oh you know what june 18th jamelle johnson and i are co-headlining the dc improv oh so come to that we are gonna you think we're smoking weed go get some more new balances in georgetown gear you think we're smoking weed today uh yeah and then other than that you know watch royal crackers kiss your mom whatever you gotta do gotta do all that dan divine is here uh but you knew that already your man divine on twitter your man divine on instagram folks, that's a private account.

So you gotta, you gotta fucking earn it, bro. So this is a, uh, it's a, the, the social media team at Yahoo was like, we're going to do stuff on a new, like for your show on, so on Instagram, but do you want to have that where your kids are and stuff? And I was like, no, not really. So also, also your Dan divine on Instagram now, uh, which I was like, not really so also also you're dan divine on instagram now uh which i was like i felt a little bit bad at first i was like so nobody took this to try to impersonate me before because no one gives a fuck but now it means i got it on lock so i got that together that's great we we don't control the all fantasy everything account on instagram now whoever does is doing a bang up job because they could be doing all sorts of wild stuff on there but no they just post sort of episode recaps and all that but we we don't

whoever that is thank you it is it is funny yeah that's righteous it's righteous yeah you just want to have like if you if people are going to be in your uh sort of insert themselves like that at least you will have, they're benevolent. Like, it's nice to have somebody who's not like a mean actor on that side. You're like, all right, fine. I guess the team is getting bigger. Sure. We'll bring everybody in.

Just play. I would say play the keys a little bit more. You know, all fantasy, everything on Instagram. Like, throw up a moose video, whatever you want. Just like the kind of stuff that we might throw up there. Go ahead. Feel free to explore the space. Politics into it yeah yeah just start start really letting letting it be known what you think speak on our behalf how do we feel about jk rowling let's find out

on instagram together it would be tight if we're just finding out our opinions from a stranger. Oh, shit. We don't fuck with J.K. Rowling. Just so you hear it straight from the horse's mouth. And that horse, it's fast, baby. I don't fuck with magic. I've said it many times. No, I don't either. You're very clear on that.

You've been very, very clear on that. I think magicians are kind of dickheads. I'm not into any of it. I don't want to go to the Magic Castle. I don't want to see close-up magic. I don't want to go to the magic castle i don't want to see close-up magic i don't want to see far away magic i don't like their vibes i like their whole game i don't like it brother i love magic only kind of magic i'm into is mid-range magic baby light caramel that light now what's a podcast where you might talk about some mid-range magic? Well, I mean, nailing it, just clutch rather. It's tough because this is the only podcast that's ever existed.

That's right. And so it's really kind of you all to allow something under this umbrella. It's called No Cap Room, and it's an NBA podcast on the Ball Don't Lie podcast network through Yahoo Sports. Me and my co-host, Jake Fisher, talk about the NBA and a variety of other things. Most recently, Jake complaining about having to go to bachelor parties and then talking about how he wound up getting extremely muddy during that process. And I have to, as like the kind of grown up older person, be like, don't complain when people want you to come to a bachelor party.

Like, it's nice that they care about you. You know, things like that. Yeah. How did he get muddy? Well, the bachelor party, in fairness to him, the bachelor party was like two hours outside of Nevada or something like, or it was outside of Reno and there was an abandoned mine and ATVs. There was a lot happening that sounded a little bit like he might've died.

So I understand in retrospect why he was a little upset, but ballpark, it's like people that love you want to be around you. So, uh, which is also the vibe we're trying to cultivate on no cap room the podcast at yahoo sports and um uh i am still doing i'm still writing at yahoo sports too but this is another thing that we're putting on top of that now so it's going all right it's going well i'm excited about it and the idea that i get to come back and talk to you guys today has made my week i've been looking forward to this all week so thank you so much for having me back what we're drafting power moves then you pull a power move on us last week you were supposed to be on the podcast last week that was ultimately your best pick

you know for you said it was because of your child now that's right well but that's a power move in and of itself and then i backed out so i was like i was double down but the double down is just kind of a dick move yeah yeah that was more of a dick move which we're talking next week we pulled a power move and switched the topic minutes before we drafted it was power moves on top of power moves i didn't like it was a very confusing week nobody knew where they were at that point. Nobody had any idea. It was hilarious. Shane was just like, oh, yeah. We lost the horizon line. We lost the horizon line.

So check out all that is to say, check out No Cap Room. If you even friggin' like basketball and the three of us do. Although this season. I like it a lot. No.

I think it's differing. I'm having a pretty good time. Shaden Sharp is, you know, coming on here. Pretty hot. Second half of the rookie season, putting up good numbers. Yeah. Well, okay. Also, though, we're first is what i like to say yeah three-time mvp i mean if you want to peak if you want to peak this early

that's fine that's fine with me you know the games are playing the long game that's it the longer game two three two three years down the road. I feel you. David, to your point about the MVP situation. So I'm going to, I found out like earlier this week, I'm going to have a real vote again. So if you want to, you know, send anything my way. I'll send you some steaks right now. I'll send you some

Omaha's finest steaks to lock that in. A little place called Omaha. Ever heard of it colorado's finest vote for where they would then take your vote away like what's the most like uh obviously there's some payola involved right uh obi toppin feels like a line you know where you're sort of like oh there you go yeah it's like no no he's not he's not even he's not getting any minutes in new york what happened here and i can't quantify what he brings to the court that's exactly right sort of the effervescence the schwa to vive but like you

can't that's also not the kind of thing where like a drop down menu mistake happens it's like you went out of your way to fuck this up so yeah right obie toppin's name sounds like an especially horny Austin Powers. Obi Toppin. Obi Toppin. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on TikTok, at Ian Carmel on a Jewish Obi Toppin app, which is only on the dark web, by the way. I thought that app was Irish, but that's neither here nor there. Obi Toppin. Obi Toppin.

I can say that, right? Toppin the morning to you. Yeah, you can say it. The Irish don't care. We're not babies. What about babies? We don't care what people say about us. We're strong people. What about an Irish baby? Is an Irish baby not a baby? no an irish baby is a grown-up yeah it's a really grown-ass it's a grown-ass adult they suck i have two of them you can see well we got two we have two irish on this podcast yes sir what a blessing what a blessing i thought i thought we

said ian i thought we said never again no it's never again the whole show lineup was irish when i when i was on the late late show it was pretty fun oh it was yeah yeah it was it was very irish yeah i wanted to make a joke up top about how we were lucky to get the third irish person up there without anybody being hammered but i was told not i was told not to go off cover i go to ian he's like he's like maybe not on the first one ever. Don't just start riffing. You can come see me. The Comedy Works in Denver on June 22nd, 23rd, and 24th.

Get your tickets now. And then, geez, by the time this comes out, I guess the last week of the Late Late Show with James Gordon, we've got some big guests. We've got some big guests. We've got some big guests coming out. Comedy Bits with Tom Cruise, Adele. Clifford the Big Red Dog? Clifford the Big Red Dog, dude.

We've got Matthew Lillard for a full hour digging into it. How much is he paying you for that? We're paying him dude we're getting we've we've got a reba mcintyre hologram ai even though she's not dead we can't get her but we do have the hologram and ai scripted by chat gpt we've got a peregrine falcon who kind of he can say three words kind of yeah breakfast lunch and dinner we've got the snowman from young jesus t-shirt that's a big get that's a big catch right there gucci main tried to get that and couldn't do it so he's coming on he's coming on the last week uh so it's just it's gonna be a big week on the late late show make sure you tune into that and the even bigger news

sure you tune into that and the even bigger news by now i mean this is you've noticed this if you're if you're uh if you're on the patreon we have updated the tiers and the benefits and it's and it's it's but i'll say this they're juicy they're juicy now uh there's three levels there's you're jewish i'm 100 if i'm missing everything jewishy for seven dollars a month uh you get access to one monthly mailbag bonus episode one monthly auction draft bonus episode we auction drafted the taco bell menu last month it was a whole lot of fun it got competitive we're gonna be doing that every month got confusing it got confusing strategy makes it fun it does make it fun when i'm confused i have more fun generally that gets you bonus live episodes when we do uh live episodes we record them and with the exception of philadelphia we put them out an invitation to a

quarterly patreon exclusive live stream that we'll be doing that's just for the patrons where we do a live stream episode you get to vote on who you think won the episode you get access to ad free episodes of all fantasy everything and exclusive pre-roll content at the ten dollar level dank if you will you get access to all of that plus bonus mini episodes of the pitch in kitchen where sean david and i work through dumb ideas stand-up premises and potential inventions that will change the world and then you get to vote on topics for us to do as well uh and then also exclusive early access to live All Fantasy Everything tickets. So you get all that.

It's fantastic. And then the final level, Yo! Which is $20 a month. Gets you all of the aforementioned. And one piece of exclusive All Fantasy Everything merchandise. Designed and manufactured by the good people at Trillblazing. So if you're in that $20 level, make sure you get us your address and we'll get that sent out to you.

Just for you. Access to the AFE Slack, which is on moderated by the way. But if you do anything, if you do anything janky in there and we find out about it, we reserve the right to kick you out. Out. All of those benefits plus those two things plus

our eternal gratitude also you can spit in sean's mouth you can spit in sean's mouth yeah if you got the right kind of mountain dew in there you can sure yeah yeah he'll you can baby bird uh one gulp of mountain dew into sean's mouth sorry is there a wrong kind of mountain dew sean like i mean given your taste profile that's why he's a journalist he asks the right question ian earmuff it for me i don't like code red code red can fuck off i do not like code red i hate it yeah i have every other one that was pretty good no that wait hold on no no that well they're all pretty good that pepsi that Pepsi, that Peeps Pepsi, that's horrible. Well, now we're talking about other sodas.

I know, but it's in the family Mountain Dew Pepsi. I like all the Mountain Dews except for Code Red, straight up. All right, so no baby bird in Code Red. You heard that here first? You'd be surprised at what I let you do after a live show. I baby birded a lot of people. Yeah, you can help me after a live show can i'm sure we could figure something out i baby birded him a dead baby bird one time yeah right that was pretty sure yeah it was baby bird inception it's all gravy in that photo line baby nothing you could baby bird me gravy

what is it about the code red is it does Is it that it feels kind of thicker? Don't like it. I don't know. I don't know. You know what I also... Actually, it's funny that we're talking about it. Preemptively, I brought this. I'm going to shotgun this for the Patreon.

Not shotgun it, but I'm going to chug it. It's the fruitcake one, which is only good in like a couple. A couple of days of it is good. Do you try it? Don't be that guy. Have you tried it? No, I haven't tried the fruitcake Mountain Dew.

Okay, there. See, now let's not. Let's not. Let's not be those people. Fair enough. You're going to shotgun it? I was going to, but there's no. I can't shotgun it in here.

Because your wife's home? No, she's gone. She told you to stop doing that. no i can't shotgun it in here because your wife's home shotgun stuff then it gets everywhere you got to open it with a key you've shotgun stuff right everybody doesn't always get everywhere sometimes it does it gets somewhere i if you open this with a key it's not gonna but i will do it today i will shotgun this today and i'll put it up on our patreon i promise i'm gonna this is another one again it's one of those things nobody asked you to do ever nobody was like you it's fine you have so many no you just you always do that where you're like all right all right i don't even care fine i'll chug this glass of hot sauce and we're like no it's noon please don't you're like all right all right i don't even care fine i'll chug this glass

of hot sauce and we're like no it's noon please don't you're like fine i'll fucking do it you don't think i'll do it i'm allowed to have fun on our patreon page too you never chugged that glass of hot sauce right just to be clear you wouldn't let me i was going to do it i will not let you i was gonna do it in new york i think. Yeah, no. No chance. You wouldn't even entertain the idea. Even a sodium alone would just fuck up your whole system, dude. It would like – do you ever look at – so like a teaspoon – I hate to be on like back of the fucking box here, but like a teaspoon of hot sauce is like 3 to 5 percent of your daily value of sodium. So then you extrapolate that into a pint glass i don't i i can't do the math here but a lot dude a lot it would fuck up your whole system hearing you hearing you say that now let me yeah i like to learn things on here

the gentleman i have way more than a teaspoon of hot sauce every day how bad is that for me that's really bad i mean it depends on what it's probably fine i bet you i have a rocks glass full of hot sauce every day that's what no that's not right that can't be you know i bet it's right i bet it's rocks glass probably i bet you i have like two ounces of two ounces of hot sauce rocks glass like yeah i bet god i should you know what i should do one of these days is i should of two ounces of hot sauce rocks glass like yeah i bet god i should you know what i should do one of these days is i should every time i put hot sauce on something i should do the same amount i should i should do the same amount of shakes in a glass and just see you know what i mean like four for the burrito four in the glass four for the taco four for the glass you know as we get older it's something to be uh conscious of i thank you for leaning in i appreciate it for all

for everybody listening ian leaned it just like a sodium consumption in general it's good to be like how much am i really you know what i mean like take a gander be aware sometimes it'll surprise you i've never monitored that or caffeine really i just starting to monitor caffeine where it's like you drink a lot of caffeine not really but i drink it i i used to drink it till like seven at night you know now it's like nothing after two so caffeine's less of an issue than sodium really yeah sodium is like that's your blood pressure the last time i got a workup, Dr. Josh, he rules. He's our doctor.

Dr. Josh. He did the whole thing. I was really worried about my liver, you know, and I was scared to go to the doctor. I was very scared. I was like, what's my liver like? Hit me with it. Because by the time my dad was this age, his liver was shot. And he goes, your liver, it looks fantastic.

I started crying a little bit. And he goes over everything. And then he goes, I'm not thrilled about your cholesterol i was like well that's i can take that but i haven't i don't even know how to do anything about i've never even looked into what cholesterol i don't even know what cholesterol is that's a brave thing to admit and i'm glad you did yeah i don't i don't know what to do like if i didn't draft this is the biggest power move either i looked at josh i go i don't even know what cholesterol is and i walked out i ate a stick of butter and i walked out of the doctor's office cholesterol cholesterol is like a fat a fatty substance you need cholesterol in your blood

there's two kinds there's good and bad right ldl yeah uh you need the good kind of cholesterol and you get that from like nuts uh uh butts coconuts uh no you get that from like like almonds you know like uh omega-3 fatty acids like fish and stuff like that avocado good fats you know guessing i have more of the bad cholesterol then if he was was concerned, if he wasn't thrilled, it was probably the bad stuff. And you get that from like, you can get it from meat and you get it from like fatty foods. Okay.

So... Now we know. Just, it's all just stuff to be aware of as we push into our 40s here. What tier of the Patreon is Ian gives everybody a health workout? Like at what level each month are you going over everybody's charts? Yeah, we're going to have to get

your health insurance involved. Don't drink a pint glass of hot sauce. Is that a health workout or is that just the name of the book? Hey, you got to relax. Your butthole's going to explode. That's the moat around the food pyramid.

Yeah, it is. Which is fine. We still operate by the food pyramid in this house. Yeah, we do. Yeah, so just check out the Patreon. It's really exciting, fun stuff. And come see me in Denver.

And we're not here to talk about the motor around the food pyramid although we kind of are we are here to fantasy draft power moves dan you sent us several exciting topics power moves was among them what what uh inspired this this topic dan fear pressure feeling like i needed to have like five or six decent ideas and also thinking about what nouns go together. Um, power moves kind of hit pretty quick. Um, I'm also the, the idea, I am not personally somebody in my day-to-day life who is thinking about how to get the upper hand in a situation all that often, but I find the behavior kind of fascinating.

Like the, cause I mean, there's really, there's crappy applications of it. And I'm sure we'll talk through some of those, but like pickup artisty kind of stuff. But there's also like a, if you are a certain kind of business person, you're also like, no, no, no. Here's how you set up the meeting. Here's how you do. And I'm like, it is all foreign to me, but how some of that stuff filters through to your day-to-day life, I thought was a pretty big sandbox to play in.

Yeah. It's, this was a fun list to put together. big sandbox to play in yeah it's this was a fun list to put together also shout out to uh mike burns and his podcast power moves which is not what we're doing today it's just like a fun name he has for it but you know anytime you can shout out mike burns pizza nacho 69 on twitter one very specific aspect of my life is the only place where i make power moves and well it's it's funny when i think when i thought about after you drink a uh pine glass of hot sauce i know where you're gonna be making power moves yeah he's a power bottom she's your your asshole screaming into the toilet like faith no more are not okay!

What is it? Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rolling game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you and we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh, Dan wins! I'm down.

Yeah, a rock against two papers. Dan, as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that basically it means if you pick fourth in the first round you pick first in the second round you now that right there for all the listeners that's a power move that's a power that's a power move that's hell yeah that's a power that's a power move you want to start doing this with his hands yeah is this for this episode like sean's just gonna steeple throughout the episode can i is david is it uh yeah i'm sorry is it david is that your name david was it god i don't want it those are yeah with that mind what will the order of today's draft be

dan ian sean david hot corner okay there you go wow power yet another another move see i love this shit yet another power move not gonna lie i was thinking about that from the second i sent the dm with the topic but i feel uncomfortable i don't feel safe i don't i never feel safe to pick two or three that's because of the power this list and i was like am i an asshole because i was i was getting excited about just doing some of this stuff and i'm like wait i wasn't i wrote this list and i thought of just like every weird thing i've had somebody try to do to me in like los angeles like power moves are like mostly douchebag moves right yeah but it was the first pick in the all fancy everything power moves draft

and we're gonna get to that first pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by schedule 35. Now microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's,

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I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code allfantasy at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code all fantasy yeah we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the only podcast that has ever existed yeah the podcast that didn't just invite dan devine to a barbecue just for the record okay got to be clear about it got to be clear about it my voice cracking not a power move this is the only podcast i don't even know if i want to mention no cap room let's see power given given this given this current state of affairs break that break that glass on your floor

top of chico it's a tight bubble it's a tight bubble stone cold steve austin showing up yeah just fucking oh he'll be there dude stone cold steve austin cold stone steve austin showing up yeah just fucking oh he'll be there dude stone cold steve austin cold stone steve austin a lot of people don't a lot of people don't know he makes a great hummus yeah well he gets the chickpeas himself yeah no yeah no that's the thing he's you know he's got a chickpea guy he's got he slams all of them so steve austin is going to be there what do you got i got a chick guy. I got a pee guy. I have it combined together. That's a whole different kind of hummus.

No, it's a much different backyard party I'm planning for. My chick guy and my pee guy are coming over. Legally, I can't have it in the house. The cops said you can't do that anymore. We are drafting power moves. Dan Devine, you have the first pick in the power moves draft. What will that first pick be? Paying for your

father-in-law's dinner. Oh, yeah. In a good or a bad way? In a good way. And we're going to stay i mean in a good way insofar and we're gonna stay married but i mean it's the idea of like i don't i get that there's an established structure here there's a hierarchy of of power in terms of where the check goes but you know what bring the fucking check over here because you know what i'm doing pretty well and i you know your daughter she's doing great she's fine we're all taken care of over here so you know what we're all taking care of over here i just want to i picturing you saying

this as they're slowly sliding the check over like you're slowly pulling it over yeah your daughter's fine we're taking care of you just taking your time and they don't like it they're not a big fan of it and and it's like and uh sarah's that extraordinarily sweet man like super super kind never like i needed to establish my you know my dominance in a situation but it was also like you you do this all the time again it's such a it's something that you it is like inherent to your self-conception i'm the guy who gets the check fucking not today all right yeah yeah and the fact that when that happened sarah was kind of like yeah no we don't need to ask my parents for

money for shit like we're good and it's like yeah no no i got this we're good was a there was i got to be honest it felt like a level up it felt like not only like i i asked that man for your hand in marriage and now i got dinner. We're good to go. It's a little bit of like, all right, man, I got, I got something behind here. We put this,

we put something together here. Yeah. Yeah. I can, I can handle this. I, you have your, the daughter's hand in marriage and the father's ham in,

uh, man, in, uh, in the ground day delecto. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

The ham and the nude, i got like the nod the first i got an ex like uh like a yeah cool that like that you know when i the first time i actually picked up the check because the general has never he's he's never been anything but the sweetest person right just they always pick up the always and i think i can't remember when it happened but i remember one time i was like can i get is it all right and he just looks me goes thank you very much not an i spec not an i expected you to do this thing not a you should do this thing but he was just like thank you and i could see a little bit of you know like cool it feels it feels fun you know was there an air of what took you so long to it at all

money general i just it wasn't possible when i first met you general's definitely down to tell sean it's about damn time general here's something that doesn't cost me any money i didn't have the money to do this when i first met you so now i gotta sneak if i'm gonna do that to mike schwartz i gotta sneak off and take care of it and like oh do you have to get it before it gets there kind of thing i gotta like figure out what restaurant we're going to in three weeks ahead of time like fax them my card information he like he there when i've done it i'm like it's the only time when i'm like is he actually mad at me because he's the loveliest person he's like he's the sweet time when I'm like, is he actually mad at me? Because he's the loveliest person. He's the sweetest dude in the world.

He's great. He's great. I love that guy. He's fantastic. But when I picked up the check, there's been like a little edge in his voice. Well, there's. So when it happened here, it was because there was a connection that I didn't realize at first. I found out later because Sarah's dad used to have to try to fight to do that with her with uh sarah's grandfather and it was like order food whatever comes into the apartment

building and he's like i'm gonna meet the guy at the elevator and then it turns out like actually your father-in-law paid for this like uh you know like gave the his card to the freaking doorman or something like that like there was always levels to. Like you could never get ahead of it. So then when I was able to get ahead of it, it was like, you understand where this is coming from. You understand why it mattered to me. You understand like there's this little circle of life component here. That's a torch pass.

Right. Yeah. And like there was a, a moment of frustration, but also an acknowledgement, like, all right, you're,

you know, you're moving in a good direction, you know? And so that's that there's, there's some power, some power moving throughout the dynamic in that situation, which, which was, it was the first thing I thought of when I thought about it was like, if you're at a, if you're in like a relationship where your father-in-law thinks you're a dickhead, that's a power move. Like, nah, I'm fucking cool. But if you're in a good relationship, it's also like, all right all right man you can take care of your business and i appreciate that so it's

nice to kind of have it on either side also it's like one dinner here and there yes right i hope i i hope i should be sir you can get the next 15 and that's totally fine but today today's my day the day that we went to culver's i got it i've never been like within reason i don't feel bad when other people pick up the tab so i never think it should be a big like now that i can i love doing it whenever i can but i never like you know if somebody wants to get the tab i'm never like oh damn it i really wanted to like right you know's fine. As long as it'll come out in the wash. Yeah, it all it all it all comes around. I think I'm trying anyways to make up.

I've had a lot of tabs picked up for me and I try to make up for it forever. There you go. Excellent first pick. It's time for my first pick. And I'm going to take I'm going to take it's very weird being second. I'm going to take this. I'm going to take winning'm going to take it's very weird being second i'm going to take this i'm i'm going to take winning a handshake yeah oh yeah dude oh i used to be a wet noodle man somebody you might have been you it was it was ian or was anthony lopez one of you two you were like you

gotta squeeze a little bit because i was always like way over non-combat yeah you are a wet noodle handshake yeah i do i squeeze firm yeah i don't have to go od i hate od guys but like you gotta have something like the dominating yeah i'm not saying i don't do that i don't do the od but it is a fucking power move and it's one that i've been on the wrong side of somebody will grab you they'll pull you in there's the pull you in handshake. Yeah, where you're like, I didn't know we were fighting. Yeah, yeah. The squeeze, they just like sort of crush your hand,

pull you in, give it like a tense, like they're mixing paint. If you're not like, if you're not coming in strong, like, cause like I'm used to adapt too. So if I'm coming in for adapt and then they go for a hand, like a strong handshake, then you're like. So if I'm coming in for a dap and then they go for a hand, like a strong handshake, then you're like, no, I was coming in loose because I thought there was going to be flex to this.

They grab your unsuspecting hand and squeeze it. You're on the basketball court in jeans because you didn't know it was a pickup game. You thought you were just playing horse or something. I was just shooting around until my bus comes, I thought. They're about to tell you, like, I know it was you, Fredo. And you're like, I wasn't ready for all this. This is way too aggressive. Now Queen Latifah picks my pocket.

I thought this was rock and junk. Yeah. It's a big power move. You could throw in a how the hell are you, too. You know what I mean? It can be real. Where they grab you and they like hit your shoulder or something where you're like whoa no because then you got to reset like you're not controlling my

body that's not what's happening right now but they're trying to yeah yeah yeah that's honestly you lose the handshake you got to punch them in the face that's really that's just a punch them right i'm thinking about this but like with my really good friends it's like the and i'm sure everybody it's the opposite of a power i've never thought about this how soft i go in like when i see one of you i give like a real soft like pad of the hand or like yeah like a pull your hand like close to my chest and we hug but it's a real soft like almost pet your back kind of thing it's never an aggressive anything when i see my really good friends you know what i mean what about when you're really

happy to see them though well yeah that's different if i like run up and bear hug you but like like the other night at high note i saw shane brennan and just like like kind of even slowed our hands down before we touched and just barely touched and then gave a tiny little hug i'm just thinking about that yeah it's very gentle that is really nice it's fun i've never thought about that until just now if i'll meet if i'm meeting like i don't know if i've done this with like any of davis kissed it was like a soft kiss i'm like a very gentle like a butterfly landing on a baby's cheek um if i like if i'll meet if i'm meeting like an ex-boyfriend or somebody they've dated or

gone on a date with like in the past sometimes i think i'll come into that handshake pretty hard yeah i don't i've never taken kindly to that and i never will and you shouldn't have to i don't like it when people are like oh you should be cool no i'll never ask you to be cool no yeah no i don't want to be not to be cool right away and they didn't do anything wrong i'll be fine but i'm not gonna be cool you want to hear something yeah i bet you would be less than fine it's coming from the best plate not less than fine but i bet you i could see something where you would be just just to the left of oh i'll be just in the left oh absolutely yeah yeah i mean if someone's been on the, if someone's been on the other side of that, don't be cool.

Then you just feel weird for her. Yeah. Like, I've been there where it was like, he was too nice to me. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And she's like, kind of like, come on, man. And he's like, oh, so you're just like, tour doing stand-up. That's so cool, man.

That's amazing. That's amazing. And you're like, doing stand-up that's so cool man and you're like yeah i am pretty great yeah yeah no i don't know why anybody would want to break up with me i've had somebody surprised their dude with it right there where they're like yeah this is sean we dated for a while and i was like wow he didn't know you can't just say it in front of both of us for the first time we know i thought maybe he knew or not we weren't going to talk about it. There has to be a pre-established situation. I mean, but he knows. I mean, Drake has that verse about it, right?

I know those type of hugs. He knew, by the way, the whole thing changed when I got there. That's the worst is when he knows and she doesn't say anything and then you're just like yeah so no we used to frequent the same bars at night yeah we're just old friends yeah oh yeah i could i could blindly get to her bedroom. If I shut my eyes, I could. Oh, you remember that toothbrush? That was his. That was his toothbrush. You were wondering why?

It's there. That hoodie I lent you the other day when you were cold? Yeah, that was his band. That's why I have champ sports basketball shorts. I was out when my when i was a little more of a hothead or whatever and i saw a guy show up with my ex-girlfriend in my old shirt that i still would like to have and i remember they walked in and i was i i was i was not fun for anybody at the bar that i was uh it was handful, but it was crazy about getting that shirt where you're like,

Hey, let me get that. Yeah. I mean, that's what you got to do. Although I don't know how you get that without being a fucking mark. I'll tell you. No,

it's cool. Just give me my shirt back. Just give me my shirt back. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I just really like that shirt. Spitfire doesn't make that anymore,

bro. You don't even know she's, she's a fucking dickhead. Give me my shirt. So that wasn't, that wasn't hers to get. I left in the back of a flatbed truck with a few other people it was that kind of where somebody like wow somebody pulled me into this truck not i'm not trying to sound like i he probably would have killed me but a pickup or a flatbed oh not a flatbed not a flatbed

a pickup truck like the bed yeah yeah i was ready to try to get it and uh some people were like i don't you know it's probably not gonna go the way that you think it's gonna be backed yeah because that's another that's another one of those things where you're like bro i can't you can't it was crazy and then even later that night there were months it was a it was it was for months it was a whole thing because it's a it was not a big town you know like so we i just see him a lot at show we'd all go do the same shit and it it lasted for way too long but yeah i was i didn't take kindly to it is the point i don't know how we got here but i'm glad we all got that out well yeah i mean that's the kind of guy who you beat in the handshake you don't even have to

now sean jordan it's time for your first pick uh when you're in a parking lot and there's people beating the handshake. You don't even have to keep the name of the car. Right. Now, Sean Jordan, it's time for your first pick. When you're in a parking lot and there's people waiting and you back into the spot anyways. Oh, God. And I'm not condoning this, but it's a power move. It is a power move.

I don't do it. I'm not a back into the spot person ever, but it is a power move there's just no getting around it i i i get so upset when i see it happening i hate it you're a mad car guy you guys are both mad car guys yes i'm much i'm much better i'm much better i'm still i'm still not great but i'm much better i get worse every second of the day it's the only thing i've had people riding cars with me and they're like whoa i didn't know you could get like this and i'm like i'm like it baby right now

no it's jarring i have if i'm going through a parking lot with you because you mean it sometimes you're not even yelling sometimes you're like it's just a respecting it's just money power respect yeah dude when i see a car backed into a spot that i didn't even see park i'll still drive by and i'm like you fucking prick i'll say it i'll say it under my breath alone whatever i'll do a parked car no i can only imagine what you say alone it's not it's not amazing it's not amazing someone backing into the spot is probably the thing that i like the least that affects me the least you know what i mean like totally i just i just the bigger the car sometimes it does make a little sense do you do

you think you're so mad because you feel like low-key that the person's big dick in you a little bit i feel like it's very disrespectful to make anybody wait in a parking lot when you can pull into the spot it's like i just there's a whole bunch of levels to it it boils down to you thinking that your time is more important than someone else's that's the whole with driving that's almost behaving that way quite honestly a power move it is most of the things i get upset about are just like, is two things. It's me having to realize like, shit, I live in a world with other people who either have no idea how this is supposed to work.

And this is one of the easiest things in the world. So if you don't understand it, that means you're a moron or you're that disrespectful and I have to live in the same world with you. They both infuriate me. And so, yes, I say things in my car go ahead ian it's also just practically it's it's i just knocked over top of chico i'm fucking pissed break it dude break it like sorry to get so mad it's harder to back into a spot than it is to back out of a spot you know what i mean like it's a more precise measurement whereas when you back out there's nothing but room you know what i mean like because it's a more precise measurement whereas when you back

out there's nothing but room you know what i mean you're backing out into the bay that's the whole that's somebody thinking they're like oh i'm supposed to think you're cool because you had 10 extra seconds and you can put your head out the window it's just it's the it's the least juice for the squeeze to me backing into a spot yeah just it's horrible can't stand it anyway yeah so i'm getting all puffy now sorry no it's a great pick that taking in all this air but that broader point of like anything that somebody's doing to let you know like i what matters more is what i how i get out of here or what i have to do after this as opposed to what everybody else around me has to deal with right now.

Right. Like that, like the, the order of importance is me. And then a bunch of things about me and then fucking you like way down here. Yeah. There are sometimes, sometimes rarely I'll just see someone doing it in like their face.

I can tell they're not doing it for anything. They're just kind of doing it. Sometimes an older person or whatever, they'll just kind of do it and whatever. That's, that's the one I can tell they're not doing it for anything. They're just kind of doing it. Sometimes an older person or whatever, they'll just kind of do it and whatever. That's the one I can handle. Well, maybe their grandpa was the dickhead and then they're like, dad, learn to do it. And then they pass it on.

They think that's the natural way of doing things. That's the one I can handle. It's a dickhead domino situation. You know what I mean? They just are an unwitting domino in that act and nobody's called them on it. Then there's like the other end where it's like a big old dooly and they're backed in and they're hella in two spots and

they're crooked and you're like you just it just oh and then i have a whole bad trip at the grocery store next to most cars is it asshole move anyways you gotta take it to the back of the fucking lot bro you know yeah in general i kind of unless unless that's a fucking workhorse like just in general it's kind of you don't know what a dually is it's a big old truck with like four tires on the back instead yeah like you better be hauling some shit dude i mean come on yeah gotta be hauling sean jordan and some other people away from the bar at the end of the night you better have like some fucking goal-oriented behavior there you need that truck for sean he was gonna leave with your shirt regardless of how you tried to get it back so let's just get in the truck we'll go to a party and we'll all

listen to you about what you would have done if we didn't peel you out of there how about that we're getting all all the townsfolk together to go fight edward scissorhands everybody's gotta get in the back of the truck no sean totally you had him you had him let's just go to our house in the basement where you know everybody and we'll listen to your stories all night if you're a spot backer upper hit us up on twitter and and just kind of break try to break it down for us you know what i mean make a caveman simple as sean likes to say yeah just let just let we're not going to confront you with with judgment but please know that we're holding it in our hearts in a very real way. I do not like it.

It's an away game for you, but we would like to know your justification. I do not like it. David, time for your first and your second pick. So my first pick, this is the first thing that brought to mind because it's just as powerful as it was the first time I saw somebody do it in sixth grade in the junior high bathroom as it was three weeks ago at the Ja Rule concert. I'm thinking of lighting up some weed. Oh, yeah. There you go. It's like that shit is always where you're like, whoa, we can smoke.

Insert plays here. You're like, yo, this guy doesn't give a fuck like no matter where it's always just you're like yo and then you gotta be like okay yeah no i i do this too i smoke here too every time it happens i'm like you're gonna get in trouble it's always and it's always like and then you're like yeah and like it's just always it's always been the boldest people i know who are just like no i don't give a i smoke weed right here i smoke weed wherever i want that's crazy i'm just gonna do drugs right here yeah always concerts concerts i'm even still in places where weed is legal and i've been to that

venue and i've seen it go unpunished 100 times i'm still like well what are you it's crazy you just see it they're like they're like living a life that you want to live like a jaw rule i was like damn i wish i had brock i didn't even bring any weed yeah i didn't even think about that didn't even think about it and then you see this guy who's having such a good time he's's like, you know what's going to make this better? And nobody's going to get in trouble for it. Smoking this. And you're like, yeah. Yeah, guy.

Yeah, guy. I'm blackout drunk. Blackout drunk on Molly and still worried about this dude lighting up a joint. Right, right. Illegal drug doing me. You have a felony's worth of narcotics inside of you. And you're still like, well, this guy can't smoke weed. Like, it's just, it's always such a cool move. was when i was a kid they would they'd pass like

people bring in a joint to a show you know obviously wasn't supposed to be there and then they just pass it around i'm like oh this is crazy we're all we all make a hit we all did it they can't kick us all out it's the whole show so and it's like from the legalization days like i remember like i remember doing gigs in reno one time yeah uh when i was living in san francisco and we were like outside the venue and just me sparking a blunt in the reno comics being like okay okay because it wasn't legal because it wasn't legal there yet you're like oh that's right i am cool yeah i smoke drugs on the street that would happen bridgetown a lot you know you'd see these comics in front of the venues all

smoking and you're like oh all right you see like who didn't care yeah warlord behavior it's always no matter where i am it's always wild to me where you're just like damn okay you just smoke right it always will be too because the older i get the more my like sensibilities change or whatever so it's it's hard for a different reason when i was a kid i was like oh you're gonna get in trouble now i'm like whoa you're being disrespectful look at that's crazy but not in a real way because weed smells good but uh you know you're just like holy it's like people smoke cigarettes outside all that it's not that big a deal but it still feels like it goes back to just seeing those kids do it in junior high where you're like what the fuck dude my mom's gonna smell this when i

get home in seven hours right i'm going to hell if any of you uh gen zers who are just risen off, you know, just risen off with the center parts right now, we know you listen. Is it still as big of a deal for you guys? Like, I guess people who have lived most of their lives with weed being more or less legal. Yeah, that's a good question. That's a good question. Like coming up the way we did where it was like it's full-blown illegal that that gave it like an extra sort of like oh my god we we couldn't i mean back in soup it was like it's still pretty illegal like when i go back home

they still duck into alleys and stuff to smoke just to take like a hit of a bowl or joint or whatever like it's not they will not do it on the street. Cause it's still like hella illegal. I remember when I worked at the call center, we were at the fucking train going home, like the, just the RTD light rail. And this dude,

my call center was just smoking weed in front, like 5. P.M. In front of everybody. And I was like, this is crazy. Yeah. Like everybody's out here.

But yeah, man, it's just, yeah, yeah it's always been always been one of those things it's like the first thing i thought of when we saw this i'm like yeah just lighten up wherever you want to an amazing pick and your second and my second pick is like this one i think is kind of specific to like going to a bar or a restaurant or something with some friends like being chill and then getting it like comped because they know you oh yeah like where it's like it's like like it happens to me more bars a lot around town or like they're just being like oh no it's thank you for what you do or whatever and you're like oh thank you ever have to tell yourself like be cool be cool just in your head because in your head you're like yeah baby that's right that's right that's right somebody somebody call up community college tell them i'm glad i didn't go that's great but and i know it happens to you in portlandian sometimes

and i know it happens to sean dan i hope it happens to you everywhere you go i live in hope for that too it's not i mean it hasn't happened yet but one of these days it's like especially when you got people with you who didn't know that you were rolling like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit is like, you feel 10 feet tall. You fucked up with this whole New York thing, Dan. It's hard to do it. It's too big.

There's too much going on. Fuck up one, New York. Fuck up two, not being a public performer or any sort of public-facing figure. Yeah, those are the two. Two big, big fuck-ups i made early in this game i don't know who gets free stuff in new york but it's no it's you got to be at the tip top joe keem noah that's probably okay yeah oh yeah i would give him shit i did i have the cousin of

this too in uh in portland which is like the kitchen sending out an extra dish. Yeah, that's pretty good. Oh, man. Yeah, that is really cool. That would be tight when they're like, hey, the chef, you know, they just, they wanted to come out and, you know, they wanted you to have this. I was with Anthony Jeselnik one time. We were out at lunch in Portland and I was just opening for him and he like, he was super cool, took us out. And we're at the, this is the first time I saw it happen. We're sitting there and they just bring up dessert for all of us and they go the chef really wanted you to have this he looks over the chef's just in the doorway like

kind of peeking around like is he gonna see me and then i was like this is insane like the chef knows you yeah it's crazy absolute absolute sweetheart that anthony joe's i'm like he really is man for people who like think he's at all the way that his act is his act is perfect or hilarious by the way but he uh god he was nice yeah so such a nice guy remembered my name which is that's when someone remembers your name it's crazy because i don't even remember your name no yeah shame yeah it's crazy because i don't even remember your name yeah shame yeah it's six no it's six with a c so my point was to get it seven foe foe tray back to back i sent two fools back today lee zach it's a whole dog pound tape no big i gotta confess i don't love it when you quote the dog pound to me i gotta confess i'm never gonna give a shit i also gotta confess I don't love it when you quote the dog pound to me. I gotta confess I'm never gonna give a shit.

I also gotta confess I'm gonna keep doing it. It's not my favorite. This is my confession. We're gonna have a sleepover next Thursday. You think I'm not gonna quote the dog pound a little bit? Davidson and you a cease and desist, but with a six. Yeah, I think you're gonna be in bed by 1130. No.

Also, let's go to a polo store. I wanna make a move when I'm there. Oh, boy. That's off your talk. A polo store? What are you saying? You's go to a polo store. I want to make a move when I'm there. Oh, that's off. That's off your talk. What are you saying? You want to go to the outlets? You want to go to the outlets, yes. Somewhere where they got polo.

I want to make a move. Ralph Lauren or like, are you going to wear riding pants? Riding pants, dude, with the big things that make my hips big. Little helmet hat, shot purse. We'll have one of those tiny little like foot long sticks a little tassel on the end of it crop the riding crop crazy shit yeah i knew what it was called i mean

you say it though power move uh getting comped getting comped is very very sweet yeah it's just it's like the coolest feeling and it's like it lets everybody know hey whatever we're doing the rest of the night you're not with like uh yeah no suckers in my circle the ceiling has raised yeah yeah yeah like that's what that's what i brought to the table what are you gonna do

yeah right time to level up right yeah yeah yeah oh you better get some appetizers going without me knowing about it in the first place oh we going to do a concert where you don't know anybody after this? Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. No, I'm sure it'll be a fun show. I think you're right. Sean, do you want to come for your second pick? Second pick is whenever...

I'm not thrilled that I do this, but I do it. This is something I do pretty much all the time. Whenever I get on a plane, I'll put my knees just so they're touching the back seat so there's no possible way the person could put their seat back even if they want to i do it i do it every single time without fail because the only i swear to god the only time i see people put their seat back they just hit the button and throw it back like they yeah it's nobody ever just eases it back so i just put my knees there because i'm like i don't want your seat back it's only two inches i'm not gonna let you have it do you put

your seat back ever i put no god no no i i would never do that to so i'm i'm not it's okay to do it it's i'm not saying you can't put your seat back i'm just saying for me personally if you put your seat back it really gets into like my my kitchen of the space that I like on a plane. Yeah. And in the same way, I don't put my seat back. Cause I know my, my in front of me,

space matters more than my back. That two inches isn't going to make my back feel amazing on the flight to Cincinnati regardless. So, you know that, and it's, it's not fair. I'm not great for doing it,

but I just put my knees in and i've had people try to put their seat back and just kind of go and i'm like nope i'll sit here the whole flight and i will i'll have scabs on my knees by the time we're done is that what's happening back in coach because then i blow up easy that might be the one of the episode power move power move dude power move i could man i could see you waiting and i just kept going i had a motor mouth for a second i was like you're gonna say something no i've done that exact i've done that exact same thing where i've even like pushed back sometimes because i'm like i did again i'm not proud of it. And, but I, I also don't recline my seat because of it, but I'm like, man, at least look back and see who you're doing it to.

You know what I mean? Like sometimes if it's like a giant dude, this is the only one I'm not proud of. Yeah. This one is the only one that I'm like, I will say I do this. And I, I don't think I'm not saying it's like cool. It's not a cool move, but I do. And then I've definitely where people have tried and I'm like, you, that's where i'll take the ride all day is on a plane because i'm like what's gonna happen you don't have a gun right yeah nothing's gonna you can barely move i can barely

move it's yeah you know i guess we need to handle it at dia when we're getting off the plane then we handle it at dia when we're getting off the plane but probably not i'll put my book back in that little uh pocket but hard you don't even want I like push their seat all the way back up. I'm like, if you think it's gonna be more comfortable, it's not gonna be more comfortable for you. And Sean, kind of of a piece with your first pick where it's like, you're thinking about it, like we live in a society, there's rules.

There's ways that we should- A lot of these are almost that. Yeah, and we should be, if we're gonna take care of each other and try to get through the day, let you know like not be dickheads to one another and so yeah you're like pushing back against those moves much like knees into a seat yeah well and i'm like again not not always in a car but i am always like whatever but i'm like overly uh i try to be like overly respectful of people's space and shit and i don, I try to be like overly respectful of space and shit.

And I don't expect people to operate like that, but I, in certain situations I do. And that's one of them where I'm like, just don't put your seat back. I know you have the options there, but just don't. Right.

I don't know. You don't like people backing into stuff. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be a through line. Uh, Ooh, time for my second pick. Weird spot. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be a through line. Ooh, time for my second pick.

Weird spot you're in. I'm in a weird spot. I don't feel like I'm in a weird spot. Yeah, how's it feel? You're kind of like tucked in between two inclined seats. I hate it. What's happening back in coach? That was good. Thank you.

I like that you gave him the Humpty Dumpty voice. How do I say it? What's happening back in your also what's happening back in coach also what's happening back in coach like slick rick what's happening

back in coach pronounced with an umpty donnie donnie we like to donnie it's you can do an ian impression

it's not hard to do a me impression it's not easy it is for me i can't i think i might not be an impressions guy actually i'm not an impressions guy either but i feel like you just did you know what i mean like if you want to i feel like i don't really know how to do it that

well that's too a little too high yeah that felt very peter griffin or no i don't know what that was bring it down just like one half octave oh i'm bad at octaves man laura let you know that's true well i don't really know how to do it all that well well too low let's find that let's find that tender middle i don't really know how to do it all that well there we go we're getting there no we're not whimsy i appreciate but we're not getting there belief in in in uh in the unknown in your voice well i don't really think we're doing all that well we're getting there ian i like that when you just when you're like what's the quality the innate quality of my voice belief in the unknown

let's turn this turn that knob a little bit up a little bit just a little more whimsy put a little more music in your voice you know what i mean just a little bit more like i'll make art with whatever you put in front of me let's just have that also if we can get into the pitch and kitchen for a second maybe when maybe when you get stuck in the two three spot that's instead of the hot corner the tender middle maybe that's where you need to think about the tender metal but when i'm in there i'm so used to the hot corner that i feel like the frozen center of a hot pocket a little bit i'm like why didn't this microwave all the way through because you didn't put it in long enough, dude. Pretty simple. Go. Pick. Fucking power moves.

Eating while you're talking to someone. Oh, God. I fucking hate it. And they're not eating. You know what I mean? Yeah. That shit drives me up the fucking wall, man. We can't pick it now. It's off the table.

But that was one of my later picks was going to be like when somebody's eating and i would stop and be like did you want to finish that it's it's right hand in hand so you're telling me there's a counter power move it's hand in hand but i used to do it at the call center all the time people be eating and i'd stop and be like did you need to finish that before we're done with our conversation i'm not even really talking about being on the phone so much i'm talking about like an in-person situation i will accidentally do it i'm not doing it as a power move but people will come into my office oh that's a power move right there you just said it i eat an apple while i'm like talking and i'm just i like this is when i eat this apple and you happen to be here i'm sorry like i got i'm a busy I like this is when I eat this apple and you happen to be here

I'm sorry like I got I'm a busy person and this is when I eat this apple which I guess is kind of a power move but I don't mean it like that but it definitely can be I could eat an apple for hours I could eat an apple for an hour do you have an apple around I'd like to come into your office real quick well I it's 11 30 and I don't eat till noon so all right all right that's our issue is I could just it'd be the worst if somebody was like had a grievance and you were just because eating an apple makes it seem like you don't care at all about i've done it people have come into my office with a grievance and i've eaten an apple during the conversation i'm not going to stop eating this apple it is a loud it is a percussive fruit i love it it's a it's a fucking there's something about

the way you hold it that's disrespectful like locate your middle fingers out you know yeah yeah it can be it can be the most prominent part no i don't know why you have a problem with that yeah i don't you're about the only person i know that has a problem with that so a sub power move of this is the guy who like has a knife with the apple and is cutting off little pieces for himself that is like that's oh you only are doing that for intimidation only it's not a better way to eat that it's not i don't know who that guy is unless he has like jaw issues or something like that or does he have bridge work he can't do a whole yeah you don't want to bite in so you have to cut it

with your boot i feel like late 80s early early 90s television was big on dudes eating apples with knives. Big knife apple time. Yeah. Big knife apple time. And then we got to Clinton and it started to dissipate a little bit. That was Reagan's America. Yeah. Yeah.

Apple knife. Apple knife. Big knife apple time. When I'm cutting up an apple for max i have probably in the last month i took a like a piece off and i was like this feels crazy eating it off the edge of the knife eating anything off of a blade is like a wild move like in that manner like i'm eating off the part i just cut with that's crazy fucking crocodile dundee that's like just scooping your hummus up with a 9mm or something

and spreading it on a big... Okay, let's not say pics. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Dan. You can't take eating off a gun. I'm sorry. Fuck, alright. I crossed that one off the list. It's like pointing at the menu with your gun.

It's like, it's the McDonald's menu. It's been the same for 10 years put the gun away you know what's up there yeah but i'm always torn between what i want to get you guys do an eight piece now i see you just got your laser sight on just like you see what you see what's going can you make it a nine sarah connor's forehead up there but yeah eating while you're talking to someone and they're not eating it's just that's just perfect you just get right in their kitchen damn time for your second and third picks asked his uh all right so second uh just saying no uh i am really bad at this generally where you're like you somebody else hey can you do this we need to have this you know we

need to pre-write on this thing that's going to happen tonight. Can you get something ahead? Sometimes you're just like the, the need to say fucking no, sorry. Like I don't have the time to do X, Y, or Z right now. It's hard to get used to doing, but asserting your boundary in a certain way is something that like, that's, it's hard, but valuable for a reason. And just being like fucking sometimes no it's like and then also with some base no with some base in your voice you know you're like oh man i feel like two inches taller right now because i was able to be like no like my my time has value my you know my energy has value these sorts of things being able say like, I'm carving that out or I'm holding

on to that. And nine times out of 10, unless it's like, no, we desperately need this right now. Nine times out of 10, it's like, all right, yeah, no, that's totally fine. Like we either somebody, somebody else can do it or that can happen a little bit later. But I feel like especially online media as a job for a long time, availability was such a huge part of like the value proposition for me yeah i can write that totally i'll take care of that no problem and now it's like yeah i have fucking i have two kids i've got a wife i've got like other stuff i've got to do sometimes the answer just

needs to be no and being comfortable saying that is something i'm still not great at it but like it is a it is an important change in your life it's respecting your value saying no is way better than saying yes yeah yeah i'm horrible at it i know what you mean i know it's way better i'm horrible at it because it's a power move to me just to simply say no to someone and i'm like right yeah it means you're bad at it but yeah i feel you man i say yes to everything i it's still almost and then i because when i'm about to say no i'm like why do they why are they the one where you're going to start your journey you know why do you need to prove it to this person just say no next time or whatever

yeah it's good to do though i also find myself agreeing to stuff that's like in the disc like that's far out where i'm like i know i'm not going to want to do this when it happens but that's the one i have to work on when somebody comes to me i'm like yeah sure i'll probably do that yeah it comes and you're like oh i gotta fly to where yeah it's here now and for what and you like you made plans that night you forgot you had to do it and you're like oh yeah all my friends are going to do anything about. Why would I do a show at Lowe's for their Christmas party? I don't want to do that.

All right. Well, you know, there's reasons to do a show at Lowe's, dude. I did one at Home Depot one time and it was like, You did a show at Home Depot? For their Christmas party. I never told you about it.

It was a Christmas party. They built the stage out of buckets and a piece of plywood. Those orange buckets, piece of plywood, and then they passed their christmas bonus checks while i was up and everyone's just looking at me like kind of tapping their feet and i'm like you can open your checks yeah you sure don't have to wait for me to finish so they just cracked their bonus checks and then they were they were not listening anymore and i was like what was your check for

that for that particular $500 for you know that's pretty good that's pretty good yeah it's pretty yeah stand up all right did you get a bucket it is it was through that yeah back in the day but i mean 500 bucks at the time was like no 500 bucks is the first level of stand-up check where you're like oh sick i'm getting i'm doing 500 gigs on the reg like that's it's on the wednesday side of a thousand two you're like this is almost a thousand bucks but it's not oh yeah you're sitting here in the break talking about how you couldn't be a writer my friend you just wrote something better than i've ever written out in a piece of paper that's fantastic

but like i never thought about it but it is closer to a thousand than it is to zero if you're if you're rounding the way that we round so that's fun i also have to pick you up on that dan devine you were absolutely you are a you are a fantastic writer and you consistently turned out turns of phrase at least that good you make me wish i read not to take anything away from you make me wish i read is the nicest compliment i've ever gotten it's not actually a compliment that's really great i didn't hate reading but you know i do so i appreciate that that's very good um all right so the second pick saying no the third pick uh is a little more explicit specific to being a parent starting to count down from five oh damn that is i've never even thought about that is a real power

move laura does it to me but we haven't done it to our kid what if you flip that onto an adult that would be even more powerful is it like if you're like she's like Sean put down that rocks glass of hot sauce I found a 24 hour billions channel on

the other day she just comes in she goes 5, 4 alright fine wait also we gotta break that down you've you've had a 24-hour billiards channel and what you just weren't gonna go to bed i've been watching pool a lot now you know i used to have my own queue and shit dude i was into pool i know i know i. I feel like that's a Brigadoon situation where that only revealed itself to you. And like only once every like 30 years does that show up.

They haven't been showing this particular like Jeanette Lee Black Widow round for like 30 years. The Black Widow, look at you. Yeah. I'm a professional sports writer after a fashion. So yeah, I got to know a couple of pool players. I used to want to try to act like Earl Strickland back in the day, the hothead pool player, the one bad boy pool.

Steve Ezra. I digress. You had your own cue, right, Sean? I sure did. No bag like Boris Whitaker and color money, baby out here. That's incredible. That's fantastic. But yeah, so the idea that the useful thing with small children about the countdown from five is

it doesn't kind of even have to be about anything. And sometimes you don't even know what the fuck you're going to do if you get to zero. Oh, yeah. But just the starting of like five. Four, they start moving and like what? All right, fine. I got to close. I got to close the iPad.

I got to put down the toy. I got it because we got to start getting ready. So earlier today. All right. It's time to get ready for swim class, kids. They're like, no, fuck you. Like, no, I don't want to stop doing the toy, the play that I'm doing.

No, dad, fuck you. Fuck you. Five, four. And they're like, ah! They just like fucking break like ozone on the way out. Oh, my asses. But yeah, there is a real power in just out of nowhere being like, five, four.

And then it starts to happen around you. Movement progresses around there. And I maybe abuse it a little bit because of how clear, like it's a decisive movement from that point on. Do you get into halves? Do you ever have to get into like one and a half? Oh, that's like, because that's almost giving ground, I feel like, right? Yeah. One and a half.

That's like, cause that's almost giving ground. I feel like, right. Yeah. Yeah. Like no, no, the,

I mean, what, what you wind up having to do is it's like, well, I guess I'm going to get into a fight now. All right. We're one zero. All right.

That shit's mine now. Like whatever the thing is you have, it's coming to me. And like, realistically, that's not always a great move because now you've set yourself up for a longer period of arguing and fighting an hour of that kid crying just i'll take the remote from max and i'm like i could just let her have it for the next 30 seconds

or i take it she flips out and now she's crying for an hour but sometimes you gotta just sit you gotta ride that hour out because they need to fucking know there's a line and so like it's so anyway all that to say uh i i was surprised by my I was surprised myself by how into that I got that power trip. But it's it's intoxicating. So, Sean, I look forward to when you get to that point. I take my shirt off at zero. That'd be the first warning sign. Maybe a three, five.

Pop it off. You're going to be amazed how much you already have your shirt off when you have a kid. When Max was new, I had my shirt off all the time. I was just walking around with no shirt. I'm more of a shirt guy. Well, I'm not a shirt off guy. That's my thing. I'm saying like when she was born, I was just like, you just have to get up.

I've seen a lot of pictures of you when you were younger with various shades of shirt off. Yeah. It feels like less. I feel like you're kind of a shirt off guy. Man, Dan, I sent these to you a picture of me the other Yeah. It feels like less. I feel like, I feel like you're kind of a shirt off guy, man. Dan, I sent these to a picture of me the other day where I look like a crazy.

I'll send it to you. Anyway, I haven't listened to the podcast to hear about your, your, what was it? It was at risk youth, David. Uh,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't think I was a youth anymore. I was old enough to go to war by the time this picture was taken.

Wayward. And it looked like you were on your way. That's why the shirt was on. It was about to happen. Edward Scissorhands wouldn't know what hit him. Anyway, you'll have your shirt off a lot. Anyway. You know, if you think about it, if you rolled around in your head a little bit, if you just pause and give it

a moment's thought, All Fantasy Everything, this podcast, the one you're listening moment's thought, all fantasy, everything, this podcast, the one you're listening to right now, north of 300 episodes, this podcast right here, the only one that's ever existed, kind of a countdown from five.

Damn. I like that. I like the way that feels in my head. Yeah. Poignant. And we're going to be right back. Not an actual break. We're back already.

How about that? Damn. Somebody got ready to do something real quick. Nope. Power move. That's a power move. That was a power move on the listeners and a little bit on Marissa. Marissa, how does it feel?

Oh, she's gone. She's gone. Oh, shit. She's not even here. No! I was gone. I'm shit. She's not even here. No. I was gone. I'm here now. I'm not there.

But yeah, quite the power move. I love it. Oh, even though she said quite the power move was a power move. You should have came back. Oh, man. Next time you come on, Marissa, you got to be eating an apple. Marissa's one of the most powerful people in the world. She's full of power moves. Yeah.

You've seen that Beat Saber. You know what time it is. Oh, man. That was great. Time for my third pick. Time for my third pick. Okay. Okay. This is a little bit tangential to the father-in-law relationship, but it's also – but only a little bit.

So I'll just say the thing. It's calling an adult by their first name. Great. Yeah, don't do it. Yeah. Wait, what do you mean? yeah i don't do it yeah wait what do you mean so like even though we're 38 and 40 and what in our various ages like like it would be like well somebody who you're supposed to call mr smith and then just call him mike oh you know what mike yeah i'll tell you i'll tell you something

yeah right exactly here so here's my thing with calling almost any adult by their name that I know. If I don't know them, it's different. I usually don't need to say your name. I could usually just get your attention. Like if I need to talk to any of you, we're in the room or whatever. I don't have to be like, Ian, I just be like, can I grab a LaCroix? I wouldn't say your name. It weirds me out sometimes. Laura, she'll be like hey sean can you go and i'm like

it's don't do that don't do that to me just be like hey go get the laundry don't be like hey sean would you go get the laundry it sounds crazy to me to hear yeah it's using someone's using someone's first name it just always feels powerful to me when they're an adult. Well, I mean, because it's usually going to be followed up by like pointing something out, you know? Yeah. It's where I'm like, Laura, it doesn't have to be that loud or something like that. You know what I mean? It's never.

Or it's something the other way where I'm like, you look gorgeous. I mean, someone's first name is a hammer. It's something the other way where I'm like, you look gorgeous. I mean, someone's first name is a, it's a hammer. It can be used to drive in a nail and hang a beautiful picture or it can be used to, you know, batter someone to death. You can, it all depends on how you use it, Sean. Yeah. See, no, I don't, it's yeah.

I always feel like I'm in trouble. Maybe that's the root of it. Yeah. Yeah. I hear my name. I feel like I'm in trouble. I feel that a lot. I feel that a a lot i think it evokes those feelings yeah sean patrick

yeah don't care for it dan what's your middle name james james dan james you could have been a dj dude i could have been yeah but another number you ever tried on number three thing i fucked up not being a dj um yeah you ever say your name like spotty adi dopelicious dan dan dan james i haven't but now i'm glad someone has the next time that you and your wife have a date night, when you're coming out of the bathroom after getting ready, you should come out singing that song just to let her know it's on. It's a good idea.

We're going to put that on the list. Dan James never happened. Daniel James happened when I was in trouble. So yeah, that's a good one. Like Danieliel and the brief short tangent i'll get you back but like the when i was in kindergarten or whatever you know beginning of school and your teacher is like all right so your name on the role is daniel divine what do they call you at home dan danny daniel i was like well my mom calls me daniel and my dad calls me shit burden son of a bitch and uh i was like five well, my mom calls me Daniel and my dad calls me shit bird and son of a bitch. And I was like five. And so that led to a very quick my dad being like, so I got to go to school now.

That's not like the coolest move you could have pulled. Thank you so much. Shit bird. All I heard was our teachers don't trust our children enough is what I heard, because she should have been like been like well let's get your father on the horn and ask him why he's calling you son of a bitch and shitbird all the time instead of just assuming that you were lying yeah no no she she was like uh she they needed to check in on that they needed to check in pretty quick and i was like that's a cool vibe you've set up for the full year of me knowing this person dynamite there you go oh there it is power move get a cat

involved that is a power move you have a cat on your shoulder or something like you're a tiller from kickboxer no lionheart she's gonna make a pick go for it not saying much another power move she plays it close to the vest dana just brought eddie in which is always a delight to me that itself was a power move interrupting the podcast with a cat yeah always left and right what dan did you grow up in new york city yeah brooklyn and staten island so like outer borough new york yeah what's it like the new york kids are i always am very intimidated by people who grew up in new york they're always so confident well i'm glad i could capable i'm glad i could break that streak for you

it's an insane place well no but i think maybe it's more manhattan kids where i'm like what are you that's the thing like it seemed like it doesn't even make sense yeah yeah i mean like the fact that so i we we moved out of brooklyn when i was eight or eight eight or nine to staten island so it was like you're going you were moving to the place that everyone thinks is like a fucking joke and is not part of the city right so i'm like and i've now like lived back in brooklyn for more than a decade but i'm kind of like i feel like i'm a bad new yorker in that way like i've never been the oh yeah i lived in the east village for whatever or like i was in like the williamsburg lofts before that blew up like i've

always kind of been like an uncool parts of new york person yeah so then you're like uh yeah like where was your you know wild miss spenny with i'm like i don't know it was in like fucking schoolyards in staten island playing silo i don't know like it was it was a it was a weird different kind of vibe that's not bad well a lot of new yorkers grew up in like tallahassee and fort worth so that's the most uncool part of new york at least you grew up there i don't know man you should come through staten island sometime i don't know but like uh i'm never going to staten island so stop right there i don't blame you i don't go back on that frequently. Sean, it's time for your third pick, Sean. I don't know what I did

to you, man. Third pick. This is always fun. I don't really do it a lot. I've done it, but it's just fun proving someone wrong with a screenshot. When someone says they didn't, and i'll save them sometimes because like certain certain friends come out of pocket quite a bit i'm

like i'm gonna go ahead and just keep this just just you know whatever and then it'll come up later like a bar or whatever and i'm like no you said it and they don't believe me and that you know rarely that little nugget will come out where they'll be like, prove it, and you're like, sure. And then you can just show them. I've done it a few times, and it's very fun because there's just nothing you can do. It's fun.

It doesn't hurt anyone. It's always cheeky, and, you know, it's all good. David, time for your third and your fourth picks. My third pick, I'm taking, this has only ever happened to me one time but it was cool as fuck we were i was hanging out with this guy all night and then we were going into like a club bar type of thing and right before we got to the front of the line he untucked his chain and he had a giant cuban on and it was like whoa ever i'm tucking the chain like it was like whoa coolest shit ever. Untucking the chain.

It was like, whoa. I was with this guy all night. I didn't even know. That's crazy. And it was like a chain that could get untucked. A lot of people have a chain and they can take that out. But this was like, oh, it's on now? Bam.

Yeah. Boom. Right. you felt it you felt the impact of the chain coming yeah yeah yeah man it takes a lot it takes a certain kind of person to rock a cuban chain like that too no you have a cuban link i've thought about it but i'm not there there's other things you have to do with your life i got probably a driver's license or something it's somebody who looks like they shouldn't have one at all and they do and then it's like that's also kind of icy because you don't know what they're thinking i didn't even know this was a chain guy we've been this is the fourth location yeah that's something that should be disclosed like up top yeah i should know i'm dealing with a cuban i need to know if you have

a cuban link and i need to know if you have a gun before we hang those two and that's it everything else you can find out on the day that's everything else but like when we meet up you got to be like hey i got just so you know i got a piece and i got a piece maybe an outstanding warrant i'd like to know about outstanding warrants but like i can even that is not as as crucial as like a big chain yeah if shocker just pulled out a cuban link on you yeah yeah you'd be like what the fuck especially if this is the third place we've been yeah although yeah the third place in a night that's crazy it was insane so he's got a calculus in his head like not a chain place not a chain place chain place whole other gear he has a whole other gear we didn't know about but yeah so that's my third pick and

then my fourth pick well right before you get to your fourth pick we're actually gonna take we're getting for real is this a real break and there's not a power move we'll be right back this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by babble uh if you want to learn a new language the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country, you figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here. Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to

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And we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything already in progress david borey on the hot corner about to make his fourth pick my fourth pick is the opposite of your pick i'm taking giving somebody a nickname oh yeah i had that too where you're just like wait wait wait wait wait wait wait i'm fresh now or whatever it is like it's always very it's like always a very way for somebody to like command the room you know what i mean yeah yeah it sure is slick because i did it the other day there was a guy when we went to john wick there's this like six eight dude and i was like what's up stretch i bet he gets that daily the guy right behind me walks up this cowboy had a cowboy hat

on he walks up he goes how tall are you the guy said six eight that's how i knew he was six eight because i heard him say it yeah that is rude to ask but it's not rude to be like it's upstretched he knows the guy who asked had a cowboy hat on had a cowboy hat that's okay that's the guy who asks yeah he's the one who gets it out of the way we were all we were all thinking it i got this cowboy hat on of course you could call it you could give him a nickname you could call him like cattle drive or tags yeah i was gonna say it's gotta be yeah i'm six eight text it's gotta go right back out yeah you gotta come yeah yeah you gotta double down just like being tall is one of those few things that everybody gets to dunk

you know what i mean like yeah i'm not that but i i assume like if you're six eight i mean i bet he's like everybody gives him a nickname so it's like you know you know what he said after that so i go what's up stretch and he goes nothing man chilling well i don't know what he said but then he goes he told me he goes he goes he didn't say nothing man chilling that's what he said i wasn't paying attention to his tall ass but he goes he tore my ticket and he goes mr wick will see you in theater number 11 that was pretty cool and i look back and i go oh that guy's got a pint glass full of sauce dude that guy's all right yeah i was not in the way that you want though right no it's yeah he had a pint glass full of fucking chill sauce i want

the hot sauce but i was so stoked to go see john wick after that like mr wick will see me won't he that's incredible oh yeah i bet you were a wheel man yeah top one percent baby top one percent uh wheel man it is time for your fourth pick so this is kind of specific but like when you go to the doctor or something and you come home and they're like oh so what did he say when your doctor was a woman and then you go to the they're like what did he say and you go well she actually said that she actually said syphilis goes away on its own so you know what i mean though what someone just assumes someone it's always a guy it's always a guy or like a teacher i guess if it's like a teacher or a nurse and they're like yeah what did she say and you go well he actually told me you know a couple ibuprofen i'll be fine the way this was framed sounds like you're doing this to laura or max it's not just doctor and i didn't get syphilis recently or ever it's just anytime somebody

genders something that doesn't have to be you know like when somebody talks about the almighty doctor it's not just doctors but like people just gender things and you're like to be, you know, like when somebody talks about the almighty doctor, it's not just doctors, but like people just gender things. And you're like, oh, it's, you know, it's just fun things in order of importance to me. It's not just doctors. And I don't have syphilis. Right. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

If you got caught at some point, everybody gets caught slipping. I've been caught slipping a bunch. It's not, I didn't slip on syphilis i slipped on other stuff i digress syphilis great bars yeah just kind of doing that whole like well actually he said you know whatever correcting correcting a pronoun yeah yeah that's it's important now maybe more than ever now these days in the climate. They said. Yeah. When somebody, well, you know, they say an apple a day keeps the doctor. And I go, she actually didn't decree that.

Oh, wow. And you're talking about God. Yeah. She invented apples. You constantly do this with God. That's true. Well, somebody has to, man. Yeah.

I'm doing, I'm doing. You're doing the Lord's work. Her Lord's work. Her work. It's important. Just saying a prayer to the woman upstairs. You know what I mean? but he has to man yeah i'm doing i'm doing you're doing the lord's work her her work saying a prayer to the woman upstairs you know what i mean time for my fourth pick and boy are we all excited for it i really am it is being familiar with someone's work and not commenting on the quality of it either way oh man i say you stand up like that headbridge i say do you stand up

just not just not commenting on it either way like like uh oh i'm a writer oh yeah i've read your stuff oh yes you know you're just leaving them you know they're dying inside to be like say something good say something good yeah you know what you're not necessarily saying anything bad you're just not saying anything good either it's just digging right into people's deepest hole of insecurity especially if they get into a presentational business in the first place that hole is probably fairly deep where anytime honest i swear anytime someone's like oh yeah i've seen you do stand-up i go like if they don't say they enjoyed it, I go, wow, I hope you had a good time. Sorry if you didn't. I immediately start

going into my own shit. They're like, no, yeah, it was fine. The album came out last week. I heard it. I heard it. I just cried like a thousand-yard stare from there, clipped, and that's it. I just back up like, okay, thanks for listening,

or whatever. Cool. I do other stuff. I okay, thanks. Thanks for listening or whatever. Cool. I do other stuff. You know, I got it. It's like I can kick flip. It's not a big deal. Yeah. I'll tell you as someone who works on the late,

late show on CBS, I've been exposed to this one before. Oh yeah. What do you do? I write on laser. Oh, oh yeah. So no,

I know that show. Oh man. Do you, do No, I know that show. Oh, man. Do you? Do you know? It's weird. As somebody who currently works for Yahoo Sports. Oh, Yahoo. Yeah.

That's a web company still. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. I use that to find some of my first porn. I still have printed GIFs. When I have to fix my grandmother's internet that's the home page so yeah you're with it yahoo great sometimes you have to email a comic who never changed it

that's always a fun one yahoo the machu picchu of the internet containing such wonderful treasures as dan devine's writing oh there you go absolutely i mean yahoo sports is anyone who knows sports knows that that is the premier destination and i'm not even joking dan devine familiar with your work love your work well that's an extra there i appreciate that not familiar with your fourth and final picks yet all right fourth pick uh unbroken eye contact. I can't do it. I'm not so good at it either. But like that sort of like penance stare of just double barrels. Like it's important to me that you know that I'm serious right now.

And so I'm going to and I'm going to enunciate every part of this while it's fucking eyeballing you. So you get it. It is a it is intended to sort of shake somebody and their self-belief and their conception of self uh i'm not so good at it but i understand that when i've had it done to me say hypothetically by like the dad who doesn't understand why you just told his teacher your teacher that uh he calls you shit bird and son of a bitch instead of your name when you get that double barrel look and you're like oh some something's bad something bad's happening here this is not a good not a good moment for me um yeah yeah the eye contact is a is a strong one it makes you feel like cray yeah yeah yes i can't

look at a painting for longer than 15 seconds do you get it from the opposite sex where after a while you're like i don't know what you want from me. Yeah. Like you're looking, we're talking, you're looking right at me. I don't, I don't, whatever it is. I don't, I don't think I have that. Yeah. What game is this now? Yeah. Yeah.

What's happening? I don't have the right kind of personal billiard cue for this game. I don't know. You are way too engaged in this terrible story. I'm telling you. You're letting me know that you're about about it with your eyes and i feel like it's a dangerous game we're playing i'll go to the grave not knowing how to operate eye contact i'll never get it i don't know how long to look at someone i don't know i'm doing it like because

i don't i don't think about it personally because it doesn't whatever i tap in and i'm like oh i should be because that's like once every few weeks I'm like, oh, it should be. Because that's like once every few weeks. I'm like, I should start looking at people more. I feel like I do it too long. I feel like I prolong eye contact a little too much. And that's like way weird. But we don't know what the answer is. Nobody knows.

I try not to lie. Whenever I start lying, I'm just staring right in someone's eyes. That's like my tell. Wait, that's when you stare in someone's eyes. That's like my tell. Wait, that's when you stare in someone's eyes? That's insane. That's so crazy. And it's one of the, it stops me from lying sometimes,

like a tiny lie. But if I'm about to do it, I'm like, no, they know you're staring at them. So just don't lie. It's like, it should be pretty obvious. That's what you're doing. You're giving up the game. Or like, if I think I'm wrong,

I'll stare, I'll stare at somebody. That's, yeah, it's, it's like a sign of weakness for me, which is funny.'ve seen that it's doubling down and going all in like okay i need i need you to believe that i have the pocket aces here like right i'm staring right down the barrel at you to give you this right even though you see me sweating and i'm pitting out and everything else like but the eye contact is letting you know it's for real yeah uh and my fifth and final pick um uh it will kind of uh book ended here uh ordering a food ordering food or drinks for another adult without their consent um just damn it uh just being like no no no no she'll have the veal parmesan um

you know no no here the veal parmesan you ordered that right in front of her dad huh as an example for this she'll have the veal parmesan uh fred's gonna have uh you know cider and ice for him cider and ice for him we're not gonna get into the serious drinking until later dad so don't worry about it uh but oh but also yeah call him fred in that situation you know there's the adult first name is a lot going on there right yeah yeah multipliers yeah there's levels to the game uh but yeah the idea that you would be you would be like we're not going to substitute your judgment for my judgment uh my judgment is better and so we're just going to do that right now it can even be a positive power move if you're at a certain restaurant

it's like hey you know what i got it and people are like oh okay i ask for the power whenever we go to nice restaurants i never i'm like you just you do it i'll just whatever whatever ends up on the table i also know what sean thinks is yucky so that it helps what a great sentence yeah yeah unless i start unless i actually start serving green ham anything green is yucky to me so just get it out of my get it off anything that's minus four to six ounces of hot sauce yeah dude that's right give me that bad cholesterol uh all right time for my final pick all right i just saying that to myself last night walking around the crib i was reminded how funny i think it is i was grabbing the air fryer when I said it.

Making yourself a drink at someone else's house. Oh my God. Yeah. That is crazy. Whether it's, whether it's an alcoholic or not, but it's like getting up, opening their fridge,

going over to where they're, where their alcohol is and pouring yourself one of those. Literally the next thing on my list. No, the sixth man on the roster was going, going into somebody else's fridge just keep going and taking your business yeah like asking i'm like do you have any lemon zest yeah never mind i'll make two this is my fridge now that's crazy to me yeah yeah it's an intimate space and you're just in it is it's odd even if you're already in someone's crib it's still to go into their shit oh i it

makes me feel crazy oh yeah even your like when someone can tell me like yeah just go grab it from the fridge i'm like will you do it it would feel intimate if i went to your fridge and you're one of my best friends on the planet no it's no matter it is it is yeah cupboards whatever it's yeah it's like a little glimpse i don't know't know if you're saving that food for what. You know what I mean? We don't know. Yeah, get out of here. Yeah, get out of my fridge.

Well, I mean, and The Rock taught us that in the rundown, which is you've got to reach into another man's fridge without asking permission first. It was one of the important lines that The Rock gave us in that movie. Right, right. And so if we're not going to respect him now. Dating, though, is the thing. That's right.

A movie full of important lines. So it it's hard in itself it's hard to pick only one yeah a career full of important lines uh it's also time for you to cross the line into your fifth picture on jordan give us the rundown on that uh if you're at the roost and you walk up to someone's table and grab a chicken wing off their plate and you don't know last bit Last pick. You're taking my power move? It's another power move. Some of us live this life. You're taking his move? I'm just saying if you're

there and you do that, it's a power move. That's all I'm saying. Last pick. This is little boozy and fucking the smell of weed all over again. All over again. You be honest with me were you gonna pick this is classic sean jordan if you've been watching you weren't gonna pick that oh i didn't say anyone's name by the way oh oh good oh yeah you're not a snitch right oh good

oh no the kid in the red jacket did it chugging wine in a benefit show the squire brothers asked you to do but i'm not we're not saying who's doing i was trying to get another one open and the drinks the drinks were 20 bucks no thanks oh man that was such a crazy we're just at this upper crust like country club i'm like i don't even i don't have ten dollars we were having a different we were having a different night i can't buy half of it was that the same night yeah oh yeah that was the same night we started out at that show all the same night i barfed in the roost bathroom burst blood vessels we interviewed roxanne gay the very next morning yeah yeah it went so well

crazy night to have before that hey what are you doing tomorrow all right guys and you know i can get some blow i wish generationally important writer roxanne gay incredible david boy time for your final pick uh i i'm taking so this this happens a lot i feel like when comics are riffing or when people are riffing in general i'm thinking when somebody was totally down to just shift the tone of a conversation oh yeah you know what i mean like we're all hanging out laughing and somebody somebody's like, no, fuck you. I love Dame Judi Dench. Yeah.

No, that's just not fucking funny. No, it's not fucking funny. Where you're like, whoa. Whoa. You can talk about Helen Mirren without fucking pretending we're talking shit about Dame Judi Dench. Nah, dude. Nah. It's always like, whoa whoa you don't give a fuck

what's going on yeah at all yeah like you really just it's like it's such a what it's it's such a power move when it happens where you're just like all right you just want to tank this whole shit right i'll sink this ship yeah yeah i don't give a fuck about this yeah that's always a situation where i feel like like my like our paths have crossed we're not on parallel lines it's just we happen to our paths happen to have crossed right now and we're right in very different lives right right it's an important way to learn about somebody's value system it's like what matters more to you just like the vibe of hanging out and having a good time or like no no i stand on this honor like they i'm gonna die on this hill it's definitely usually pretty selfish yeah i will say when people it's like

it is a power move but it's also like people you people rarely walk away and they're like no he was pretty right about that unless it's like something really big but for the most part it's like no that guy sucks i did that once but it was because somebody was making, they were doing fat jokes, right? It's not like, Sean, you were there. Aren't those Shane's friends? Oh, no, they were doing, they were doing like. Sometimes it's warranted.

Yeah. It was, it was anti-Semitic stuff. Oh, it was anti-Semitic stuff. Yeah, that's what it was. We were sitting at Matador and they were talking shit at the end of the table and you looked at me and we didn't know each other that well we'd a few months or whatever and um you're like check this out you smiled and then you just looked over and you got the serious that i know you can get and then i was like holy

are you good man you look back you're like oh yeah it's fine and then you got serious again and then they left they left and then we had a great night and uh yeah yeah by the way sometimes a tone shift is totally warranted like shit like that when it's like yeah or something racist or something sometimes there's some shit where people are talking where you're like i just can't let that go but like i'm talking about sometimes you'll meet people who just seem like they almost did it just to do it here's one you know what i mean and that's like that's what i mean it's usually i mean it's usually pretty selfish it's usually somebody who doesn't care about anybody else i think i've done it to

you it was uh i used to say when people talked about jay-z i'd be like you know i don't jay-z's not a good rapper and i would just say that like what an asshole he is a good rapper and i always knew it but i used to like some for some reason not think he was what a dumb thing what a dumb thing to do well that's uh yes it's and uh but that feeling of like i need to have a take and an angle to be particularly interesting or arch or whatever and then and then i have to like i have to just fight on that lie for the rest of my fucking life like it's just it's also mad apparent when people are doing it where you're like yeah okay man yeah yeah you don't you don't you don't think pastrami

sandwiches are good let's hear your fucking that's fine you didn't have to make a big deal yeah you're you're allowed to not like stuff without trying to make that your personality like so everybody knows you like pastrami. Shut up. I've been seeing you eat a pastrami sandwich. Yeah, I've seen you eat it. Corned beef ass. You motherfucker. But yeah, tone shift is definitely just like, it's like a power move, but it's also so annoying.

Yeah. Well, I'm going to shift the tone to Marissa's pick. Marissa? Per my last email oh yeah excellent love that one top row oh i would shit did you see i got all on edge i was like what what happened what did we do oh you got i thought it was gonna be like per my last email this is that but you're just saying when somebody, that's, yeah. Yeah. Damn, that just made me nervous.

That's how much of a power she has, right? She got your ass. She's the most powerful one of all of us. Yeah. She's dry culture. That's seriously, that made my heart beat. All right. Dan, you went first.

You took paying for your father-in-law's dinner, saying no, starting to count down to five, unbroken eye contact and ordering food for another adult i went second i took coming in hot to a handshake eating while you're talking to someone calling an adult by their first name saying i'm familiar with your work but then not saying how you enjoyed it and then making yourself a drink at someone else's house sean you went third you took backing into a parking spot, preventing someone from leaning their seat back with your knees on an airplane, proving someone wrong with a screenshot,

correcting someone on their pronouns, and then eating a chicken wing off of someone else's plate at the roost. David, this is very fun. David, you went last. You took lighting up some weed, getting comped at an establishment, untucking a chain, heaping due a night, giving someone a nickname, and shifting the tone in the conversation.

Wow. Stand by all. Stand by all. Incredible. We left some stuff on the board, of course. Quoting someone in a conversation could be a power move. I believe it was William Shakespeare who first said that. You ever heard anybody quote themselves i i have a bit about this and in that bit i uh i've heard comedians do it sometimes as a disclaimer though so they're like i'm not

running shtick like but that's different that's like almost a courtesy turning off the lights in a room that somebody else is still in yeah i love doing that like i'm i'm out so the room's done yeah eating food off someone's plate shutting the door before like i'll do this as a social bit but when lauren and i are walking in somewhere i'll open the door and shut it right behind me before she can come she can come in. It's always funny. Also, I think there's correcting someone's fact when they're wrong, which is tangential.

Sean's proving someone wrong with a screenshot, but if they're like, you know, Dana will do this to me. My wife will do this to me. I love it. I'll have a fact,

and she'll be like, oh, did you mean? I didn't mean that, but she is right. Did you mean is kind of the nicest way you could do it? Yeah. She's a lovely person.

Yeah, she gives you the benefit of the doubt. Like, oh, no, I think you meant the right thing. No, I didn't deserve that. Rarely, I will over-tip for bad service. Rarely. I've done it, though. It's stupid. It's bad for me.

I think it's like a broke guy thing where it's like, oh, word? Yeah, well, here's $35. Honestly, dude, where I'm like, 15 bucks, here's 20. Keep it. Yeah. Oh, you don't have any shrimp puffs left? Okay, here's 40 bucks. Glad you were a dick about it.

Shrimp puffs. Have them next time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had two really stupid ones on here that i'm not sure when i put him on i might have had been drinking um the mandible claw uh mankind's finishing move where he just shoves his fingers down your throat that's a power move seemed like a power move yeah he has a sock on his hand yeah and then uh uh drinking your milkshake i just i was thinking

about uh the end of there will be blood oh yeah you know he'd be like, I slant drill under you and I drink your milkshake. All the way. Yeah, all the way from here. Well, we want to hear what milkshakes you're drinking. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcasts at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE, brand spanking new and improved

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week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Sha-clackity! That was a HeadGum Podcast.