Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Did Will Smith Cause Dave Chappelle & Chris Rock Attack?!
Episode Date: May 10, 2022Dave Chappelle was attacked on stage... Is Will Smiths attack on Chris Rock to blame? #TrendingNow...
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Infamous tour officially over.
None of y'all got me, pussies.
You know what I'm saying?
None of y'all got me, pussies.
You're going to go back on tour.
Yeah, but all right.
We're going to be ready.
What do you mean?
They had 100 shows to get your boy.
You know, all those people talking shit on the internet,
talking shit in the comments.
You had 100 shows to come on, you know.
Did nothing.
Why are you inviting this energy?
I don't want it.
Also, don't count when I'm just popping into
comedy clubs.
Come on, is that okay? It's gotta be
at your show. You gotta slap a motherfucker at your
show. Do you know what I mean? If I'm just working out,
let me work out.
Can you imagine just going, waiting
for Schultz to drop in somewhere
every night faithfully?
Hey, if I'm
dropping in and you see me, you got that.
That's God talking.
No, no, no.
Don't be slapping.
I'm just fucking around.
It's wrong to hit people.
You know what I mean?
Definitely wrong to hit people on stage.
It's fucked up.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But that's not the funniest take.
You know what I mean?
That's not the funniest take.
What's the funniest take?
I don't know.
Call my shit a slideshow again.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying? I'm just slideshow again. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
I'm just saying, bro.
You know what I mean?
That's not the funniest dick.
If we all are trying to be funny, it was a slideshow.
That's what it was.
Well, apparently people enjoy slideshows.
Isaiah Lee.
Dude. Well, apparently people enjoy slide shows. Isaiah Lee. No, I think he was fighting back against gentrification
in his neighborhood in Brooklyn.
So he wanted to attack Dave Chappelle who lives in Ohio.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That makes perfect sense.
Dave is gentrifying Ohio proudly.
A form of Ohio.
Gentrifying the other way.
How?
The other way. The other way?
Because gentrification is normally white people. Why are you laughing? Because I just did the original
gentrification practice.
What if that's what that is?
What if this is like
white people go there?
On the final set of the tour,
you were on stage
and all of us, Derek, Mark, Vala,
we were downstairs taking shots, like
celebratory shots. And all I could think about
was like, that was going to be the moment
that someone was going to rush the stage. And I swear
to God, there was no security. They would have
gotten you. None of us were up there.
You think your security?
You know how
amped I am during the stage. You and Poston
are security. Poston's
athletic. Poston could do some security. You don't think I would go during the stage. You and Poston are security. Yeah, you're not Jamie Foxx, though. Poston's athletic.
Poston could do some security. You don't think I would go crazy out there?
You play DB.
I play DB.
Exactly.
Oh, okay.
Dove is sneaky athletic.
He's sneaky athletic.
Yeah.
I think you could tackle him, motherfucker.
What are you laughing at?
I'll tackle you right now.
I'll tackle you right now.
No beat.
I'm not a stand-up comedian, bro.
Come on, bro.
But do you even feel like you need security?
Like if someone tried to attack you on stage. Yeah. You think you need it or you think you got him no i want security
someone ran i don't want to have to get him at all times but you could though you could right
no i don't want to do it son you should yo yo it would look crazy that's what i'm saying and that
would be up subtitled with boom pow it should have looked like a batman back in the day bro for
real but no i don't want that smoke i want to go do my jokes and enjoy my time.
It would be fire if someone from the audience tried something and then another audience
member was like, not today.
Knocked them the fuck out.
Set a precedent to everybody want to show up.
You got to beat the shit out of these guys.
Say again?
The precedent has to be set.
Isaiah Lee got his ass beat.
Also suck on their dicks a little bit too in front of everybody.
That's backstage, baby.
Why would you do that?
No. You you gotta set a
Yo if you gonna come
Beat me up
You gonna get your dick sucked
Yes
It makes sense
It makes sense bro
Now more people
Are gonna wanna do it
You about to get fucked up
They gonna spin your butthole
That's the incentive
They gonna spin your butthole
Hey if you coming on stage
We putting cocoa water
In your butthole
And it might get fucked
This all sounds good
What's cocoa water
Cocoa water bro
What's cocoa water
Coconut water Isn't that cocoa water too Cocoa butter Cocoa butter cocoa water? Cocoa water, bro. What's cocoa water? Coconut water?
Isn't that cocoa water too?
Cocoa butter.
Cocoa butter, cocoa water, all that.
You're getting cocoa, bro.
That shit will make you cry.
We're going to talk.
But for real, we have to set a precedent.
I think with the whole Dave Chappelle shit,
the fact that they're saying that he's not going to get charged with a felony.
I know Dove has opinions about this.
Oh, Los Angeles is going to shit.
I've been telling you this for a fucking year.
Did you just agree with me and insult yourself?
He did his own voice.
He did his own voice.
That is what I sound like.
Is that what I sound like?
I have so much more bass in my voice when I talk to myself.
Wait, but why isn't he getting charged with a felony?
Is there a reason?
He attacked a guy with a weapon.
They're saying because the weapon was in his pocket, so he can't prove intent that he was
going to use that fake gun with knife at the top to actually do something.
And so in LA, you have the district attorney that really handles the prosecutors, that
piece of fucking garbage. Gascon, anyone from California, attorney that really handles the prosecutors, that piece of fucking garbage.
Gascon, anyone from California, L.A., you better vote to recall that piece of shit.
And then so anyway, if he's not going to charge him for a felony, they refer it down.
Take it up in the polls.
Yeah.
No, they really need like vote for chain.
vote for chain the only way to get him out or do violence which i'm not gonna say that
are you are you saying that someone should be violent towards gascon
i'm not saying that are you saying that would you tackle him if he was given a speech would
you tackle him would you mean what intent of uh move towards me on his butt yeah would you throw some cocoa on his butt
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah call the elevator
recall that piece of shit anyway so they referred it down to the city attorney
who handles the misdemeanors and other bullshit that guy's a piece of shit too okay anyway
why are you so politically active today
i love it yo oh this one i'll die on a fucking hill for this one what happened this is the one
don't mean shit it's different he'll die on a hill for this one what happened yeah yeah
did they not like pick up your garbage or something like what's up you guys don't see
the news in la no we don't care about no other city bro he wants no city matters to us make la great again
that's dove yeah he does yeah yeah i'm not gonna lie my neighborhood going back my neighborhood
it's a lot of ruffians in my neighborhood bro soho new york oh
it's a lot of ruffians bro
it's chicks with no eyebrows wearing flare pants there's a lot of ruffians, bro. What are you talking about? It's a lot of ruffians. It's chicks with no eyebrows wearing flare pants.
There's a lot of ruffians out there, bro.
They out there.
They're trying to get their clothes and shit.
It's rough out here, bro.
Mom and outside the Nespresso store.
Who's our guy?
Who's our guest going to New York?
He don't care.
He don't know.
He's from my family in L.A. And we're going back to don't care. He don't know. He don't care about New York. He's from my family in LA.
And we're going back to LA.
Doug's whole plan is to get us out of New York.
And I love it.
Why don't we go back to LA?
This motherfucker talking all that shit about LA.
Change.
We're going to make change.
Change is what we're going to do.
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the beginning of Andrew's political ascension.
This is it right here.
I go save LA.
You go save LA.
Oh.
Yeah, that's it right there.
Nah, we're also not doing the politics shit. That's pay cuts. Oh. Yeah, that's it right there. Nah, we're also not doing the politics shit.
It's pay cuts for everybody.
Yeah, that's true.
No, no, keep doing your thing.
That's true.
Keep going.
Okay, back to the Chappelle thing.
What do y'all think?
Yo, I think comedians need to carry guns on stage.
Really?
Real talk.
That way, if you're bombing, you could just kill yourself instead of putting them through
that fucking torture.
That's a good point.
That's good.
Yo, comedians never killed themselves on stage
nah but they do kill themselves yeah pussies yeah like go out with a memorable set right though
just one come on yo fucking commit to something i'm just saying alone in your hotel room oh there
was one comedian that killed himself on stage.
Who?
This headline is crazy.
Unwitting audience member claps and cheers as teenager stabs himself to death on stage at an open mic night.
Come on now.
That's an open mic, dog.
Come on now.
At an open mic.
Who kills himself at an open mic?
This guy.
I won't say his name because, yeah.
I mean, he was going to kill himself regardless.
I don't think comedy took him out they mistakenly believed it was a piece a piece of performance art
that's not funny that's not but nobody killed him he killed himself i mean that's a little crazy
and then a couple people were like finally something to laugh at at this open mic.
Bro, I don't know how to process this shit.
I got so much alpha brain going through my system right now.
Like, I don't know to be happy or sad.
Think how shitty the rest of the sets were.
You saw God kill yourself and you're like, finally.
Something to fucking care about.
Oh, my God.
I'm the only person thinking about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm riding with yeah yeah yeah but i'm riding with you on it
i'm riding with you on it but i like that you described it because we didn't know what was
happening until you did that and after knowing that shit just felt even more uncomfortable
hey this guy saved himself a lifetime of open mics, man. He came out ahead. Yeah, that's true, bro.
That's true, man.
Stabbing himself.
Stabbing yourself, that's a way to go.
It takes commitment, yo.
Hell yeah.
You probably do it multiple times.
This guy could have made it, to be honest with you.
Yeah, one stab isn't going to get it done.
Yeah, over and over.
I mean, the greatest part of the whole thing is that Jamie Foxx just stomped him
and then went offstage and did a perfect Chappelle impression.
Bro. Like, all on the same day. You know, his Chappelle, Jamie
Foxx is the most talented entertainer
in our life. He's perfect. He's fucking
perfect. Yeah. Look, can we watch this? Look at this.
Pow, nigga!
Thank you for Jamie Foxx.
If you're ever in trouble, if you're ever in trouble,
Jamie Foxx will show up with a sheriff hat.
And all the other comedians
just stood there. They're waiting on me to die.
They're waiting to take over.
I'll see you, Chris Rock.
It'll never happen.
And it's funny.
Bro, he's amazing.
He's perfect.
He's truly amazing.
Sing, act.
Play piano.
Play piano.
Classically trained pianist.
Hilarious, good impressions, and he'll beat your ass.
Yeah. This guy's perfect.
No, no, he's the most talented entertainer.
Most talented human being on Earth, maybe.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, let's, you know, Elon Musk is pretty talented.
Elon Musk doesn't have impressions, though.
He doesn't have any impressions.
You don't know that.
He could do, like, a lamp.
That's pretty good. Is that an Elon Musk impression? That was Elon Musk being a lamp. That's pretty good.
Is that Elon Musk impression?
That was Elon Musk
being a lamp.
I like that.
No, I think,
yeah, just in terms
of entertainment though,
it's unbelievable.
Like he's underappreciated.
I think Jamie Foxx
is underappreciated.
Truly.
Yeah.
We need to get Jamie
on the pod.
Yeah.
Also, he could roast.
Oh, he can roast
his ass off.
There's a great episode
of when he did the Fox hole. I think it was like a Sirius XM show where Kevin comes on and Kevin Hart can roast oh he can roast his ass off there's a great episode of when he did the
foxhole i think it was like a serious xm show when kevin comes on and kevin hart can roast
kevin can fucking go they went back and forth yeah like they were going back and forth to one
another and i'm like wow like you haven't been doing stand-up you haven't really just been out
here and you're competing with the guy who's number one at the time like selling out these
arenas and they're just boom, boom, boom.
Yeah.
Lightning quick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a beast.
I mean, bro, do you remember when he got into the roast with that dude?
Oh, oh.
This is your conscience.
This is your conscience.
Historic.
Bro.
Yeah.
Can we play that without getting?
Brutal.
Yeah.
Brutal.
Do you want to set up what this is?
I still feel bad for Doug Williams.
Honestly, this is more depressing than the person killing himself on stage yeah yeah yeah like you
know what i'm saying like this makes me more sad so they're all roasting who is it shack i believe
yeah yeah and doug williams is a stand-up comic and uh he's hosting the roast yeah and doug's not
doing that great he's not and then jamie's mic is left on. Yeah. He's sitting down on the dais, but his mic is left on.
And then this happens.
Hey, it's Miles.
We got copyright claimed for that video.
And then he got to hug him.
Oh, he hugged him.
Because you have to pretend you're a good sport.
Because you just got beat at comedy and you're a comedian.
Fuck, Doug.
Fuck. How do you get out of that? if you're doug what do you do you got to have an absolute haymaker yeah you gotta have something in the
and it's got to be like cutting it's like what is the deepest darkest insecurity that jammy has
that everybody's aware of yeah and it has to be said immediately and if it's not that you have
to make up a lie.
You know what I mean?
Why didn't your conscience tell you not to sleep with them little girls?
Just say that
and then just the audience
is like, what? Oh, y'all don't know?
Oh, damn, they really covered that up
because Ali was doing good.
But then Jamie got to beat your ass and he can fight.
I mean,
it don't matter.
It don't matter. Your back's against the rule and if he puts his hands on you bag man why are you acting like i'm
a little girl like you just gotta say something that is so crazy and outlandish and act like it's
serious uh i mean burn the whole thing down you have to burn the whole thing down the whole thing
needs to be burnt out this went viral viral before YouTube. Motherfucking 1998 or whatever.
People were like showing it on,
I saw it on a VHS tape.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Jamie ended his career.
I've never heard of it.
100%.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To be fair, he didn't come with any jokes at all.
No.
He was not prepared.
He's at a roast and he's just,
then he started like doing a bit.
Big women, that's just a bit
you just threw into the roast. You have no roast no roast jokes jack you're too big for your car
all right it's possible he didn't even know what the fuck a roast was uh that's like i'm giving him
benefit of the doubt and then he went up and he saw people actually doing jokes he was like uh-oh
yeah because he had a paper there but the paper surely didn't just say
your big toes hurt because you you're in a car that's too little.
Right?
Dog.
Yeah, brutal.
Bro.
But Jamie saved the show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He saved the set for sure.
Yeah.
Nobody would remember an Emmett Smith roast ever if it's not for that.
We didn't even know it was Emmett Smith.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
We thought it was Shaq because the joke was about Shaq.
It was a Doug Williams roast. It was a roast of Doug isn't that crazy yeah we thought it was shack because the joke was about it was a doug williams roast it was a roast of doug williams oh yeah i think he had a half hour
comedy central oh really i think so i know i've seen his name and i remember seeing him in la
i didn't actually watch the set but i was like oh he's gonna be at this spot headline or whatever
i wonder if he ever spoke to jamie about that again oh he must have because he might be a great
comic i have no idea i've never seen him but like roasting is just a different thing and if you're not prepped for it
yeah like yeah that just might not be for you yeah and jamie let him know i mean but just he's
raw talent it's unbelievable yeah any environment any environment he'll go he'll go to parties and
just go out grab the mic with a dj and just like mc and like we'll comment on like
celebrities in the crowd like he just turns up everything we saw him in vegas sometime i don't
know if we were together but we he was just hosting the thing and like i'm like how is he
gonna do this he's just gonna chill in a booth and booth and do whatever he's up there singing
his songs like over them being played singing other people's songs making jokes having
like he's truly earning the money that they're paying there's a lot of celebs to just go they're
there and then they leave so that other people go hey we were there the same place he was the life
of the fucking party bro yeah i mean he could have been just raw talent one of the greatest comics
ever if he just wanted to do comedy,
but he can't just do comedy.
He's too good at everything.
You know what I mean?
Like, why would I just do comedy?
Let me just do everything.
He has nine films coming out that are in either shooting or in post-production.
Thank you.
You're welcome, Alex.
Damn!
Damn, Alex!
You don't like James Fox?
I love James Fox.
I'll just scream.
Al, Al just knows about it.
He cares about it.
Al just knows about it.
This is your conscience.
I just had another entertainment fact that nobody cares about.
I better toss it to Andrew
I'll wrap it up
Yo I feel like Doug Williams right now
You're Doug Williams
You know what to do
You know what to do
You know what to do
I'm saying it
Why are you saying it
Just see if it works
and throw it out there.
Are you guys all like little kids?
Oh.
I'm trying to tell you.
It makes fun of you the most. Think about it.
I never did that.
I'm numb to this.
Finish it?
Finish it?
No.
I can't say it.
Guys, come on.vin samuels come on dude come on what do you think kevin samuels conscious was saying
when when he was passing away what do you think how did he die i don't know do we know how old
was he 56 he looked great yeah that's so surprising so and then what
was the deal he was like with a girl or something like that yeah so he had a girl come over his crib
she slept over and then the morning of somehow he caught a heart attack somehow yeah what do
you think that somehow is i think he was knee deep in some pussy. Died in the pussy. Dude, that's a fucking notch for that girl.
That's so poetic though, right?
That's so poetic.
He just trashes women his whole life, his whole career,
just like shitting on women.
And then pussy took him out.
Yeah.
Couldn't handle a little pussy.
Couldn't handle a little bit of pussy.
What do you think she was, the girl?
Like if we had to rank her.
I know she was a nurse.
She was a nurse?
Not that good one.
Yeah.
Come on.
Are you kidding me?
Come on.
This is your shot.
Is there any nurse here?
Oh, it's me.
Save a life.
Ain't no claps for her, man.
Get the fuck out of here.
So, died in a pussy that morning.
And do we know what she looks like?
Because we got to see.
Nah.
Because if she's under a seven, right?
Rank yourself one to ten.
You can't say seven.
If she's six, five, then like.
Ben?
What?
Sam, bro.
What are you saying?
What was Kev talking about?
Right?
Like, what was you talking about?
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
No, she's hot she's hot
he practiced what he preached you know i mean there we go so all these big girls were so happy
that he died huh yeah really yeah it was kind of fucked up what were they saying no just people
like not celebrating that he's dead but like good riddance like yeah he wasn't good to be
like his message wasn't good to go
out there and then what was his message um his message was essentially like be realistic yes
and then he would also tell dudes to be realistic yes yeah i didn't think his shit was like crazy
crazy and also the women are submitting themselves to it right it's not like he's like going out in
the street videotaping he's not doing like ali g type shit like women are signing up to be ranked
on the show because they want to be ranked yeah so everything is done consensually um and then
he would also do it to to dudes yeah because i've seen him like shoot on some dudes and uh
but i guess there is just a lot more guys on the internet that like can't wait to hear a dude say
that women suck yeah so it seems like there's some people that you're like, you're a comedian.
You just don't do comedy.
Yeah.
One of them.
And I would put him in that box.
That's how I viewed him.
I was like, oh, you're a comedian.
You just don't have the guts or whatever to go on stage and actually do it.
So you do it from here.
And that's not a knock, but I think it makes it, you're much less likable if you're doing
it like that.
I was listening to this one clip clip he was having a girl describe herself
yeah and he's like uh he's like how how uh you know how tall are you she's like i'm uh i'm five
nine and then how do you much you weigh she goes uh i weigh 195 pounds she goes oh you're a running
back so oh you a tailback uh you used to going up the middle like uh like we need to be realistic
and what holy shit like when if i said hot hot do you get in formation like uh like we need to be realistic and what like if i said do you get in formation
like bro he starts killing this bitch bro it was crazy but she was one of these girls that maybe
had these like unrealistic standards yeah yeah and i guess he felt it was up to him to
make people realize their standards are unrealistic i don't know i i think it was just the way in which he um said he gave his advice was like what's what was so bad i mean undeniably funny
has my mind going crazy yeah yeah i told you that's what i was feeling earlier god what were
we talking about earlier i completely forgot oh dave chappelle on stage yeah yeah um are you guys
good no we just had the alpha brain
I'm ready to go dude
I'm locked in
okay good
I'm fucking locked in
dude
I feel
I feel fine
you feel fine
yeah
I feel fine
y'all are drug addicts though
yeah
you guys are drug addicts
this is
we should
we're just gonna do
in this episode
what Doug
what's his name
William should've done
you feel me
it's hard
you're a drug addict
oh gosh
you're a drug addict.
That's fair. At least I'm not no bitch.
Can't handle two alpha brains.
That really hurt me, bro.
Be realistic, dog. I need to be more realistic.
A high-valued man.
I'm a 10, yo.
Speaking of real G-shit,
you see Drake go
at this dude
full back body motherfucker telling me i'm not
i'm a dime continue why did why did drake slide in this girl's dms after one of his haters was commenting because he's amazing what a fucking move i love this era of drake yeah where like he's drunk
tweeting yeah like drunk instagramming like he's already solidified there's nothing else that
could happen to him like he's hall of fame this generation's goat the future, the kids that grew up with Drake will only
know Drake. They won't recognize Jay-Z
in the way that we didn't recognize Grandmaster
Flash or whoever the fuck it was.
And they have a strong case.
What do you mean?
The greatest ever, ever. Not this generation's.
Yeah.
They're not even being unrealistic at all.
100%. So it's like
he can do whatever the fuck he wants and he's deciding to have fun,
bro.
Yeah.
My man is just having fun.
Kentucky Derby.
I think Drake.
Drunk out of his mind.
I think part of Drake's genius is he never had a persona to keep,
but we knew him as the wheelchair kid.
So he didn't have to be a thug.
He could just be Drake.
And he could just be kind of goofy at times,
kind of fucking ruthless at times.
The music was mad vulnerable. Like he wasn't putting on airs like he was being that emotional
dude so now when he's just having fun we're like oh yeah you're not gonna be a tough guy having
fun you're an emotional dude that's having fun that's also kind of like a savage and smashing
everybody's girl if he wants to yeah and uh yeah this is just a great time i want you drunk on the
internet i want you losing half a million
dollars on a ufc fight yeah even if it's you know part of the sponsorship or whatever but still like
i like reckless drake yeah yeah it's reckless drake is awesome slide into this dude's girls
dms basically the guy comments on instagram said your son probably play with ghost writers
and it was some drake had some tweet about like,
him as a dad at his son's basketball games
and how much he's going to OD,
like one of those crazy dads.
And then Drake just responds and says,
I just followed your girl
because she probably is miserable
and needs some excitement in her life.
And then DM'd her and said,
I'm here for you, ma.
Savage.
I mean, that is fucking.
And he screenshot it?
Yeah.
Unreal.
That's fire.
And apparently the girl
is like a huge Drake fan
yeah
of course she is
she's a girl
yeah
oh dude
the girl posts that
to her
that is fucking wild
so what are y'all doing
in that moment
oh we're done
you're done
you're breaking up
with the girl immediately
absolutely
really
you don't think it's funny
yeah yeah yeah
because it's not real real
like I don't think Drake's like
at the very least
your phone is getting
fucking thrown in the sink
and then I'm turning it on the disposal at the very least at the very least but it's not real, real. At the very least, your phone is getting fucking thrown in the sink and then I'm putting it on the disposal.
At the very least.
At the very least.
And then I'm going to go buy it.
And I'm going to have to buy it.
And I hope you backed it up on the cloud.
Damn, did you watch that fucking picture, though?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's like...
Yeah, I don't think...
I mean, yeah, it makes you look foolish.
But also, you're like... You're not like a public persona that has a reputation to uphold.
You're just a dude.
You got a job.
This is the most exciting thing that's happened in your life and your girl's life.
You guys could both in cahoots play along with it.
Like, yo, it is kind of funny.
I'll repost it.
You act all upset.
We'll create some kind of cool drama.
We'll have our little 15 minutes of fame.
Everybody talking to us.
And then it's over.
I don't know if it's that crazy. Yo wwd what would drake do you would repost it if you wanted to win and be like oh my god drake just dm my wife this is so great
like you act like this is so cool also yeah and then it's just a big joke to you that way you
take the fucking venom or you like threaten them even more like you keep trying to instigate okay
okay i swear if you dm my wife again i'm gonna to fuck you up and try to get him to DM as many times as possible.
Like, yeah, it's just a fun, I don't know.
Like, again, I don't know their relationship.
If they have a really solid relationship, I don't think it's that big a deal.
If it's on the edge.
And it's also different because we're public figures.
It's like super embarrassing.
Right.
If our girl does that shit.
Yeah.
You know, but for him, it's like the greatest validation he's ever had yeah but it's
embarrassing to the 200 people that follow him that's his whole fucking family friends his whole
life so he's in shambles because everybody knows him yeah you know what i mean everybody that
follows him knows him yeah and not everybody's thinking jake a fuck your girl i think the more
embarrassing part is that people see that you're just like
hating on Drake
on Instagram.
Yeah, you're a married man
just like leaving hate comments.
That's kind of embarrassing.
That's the embarrassing part.
That's why I don't
fault Drake for that.
Fuck you.
Like, who are you?
Yeah, it's not some random guy.
He was just like
calling Drake out
for no reason.
Guaranteed,
he was saucy for that.
Guaranteed,
he was saucy for that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because that's the only time
I'll think about responding. the only time i'll respond like
think about responding the only time i'll think about responding is if i'm a little saucy i'm
like let's go if i got two appy spritz in the tank bro you might get him you might get a mention bro
you really might get a mention you might get a response publicly i might dm back
fuck you it just might happen bro oh man it's the only time i tweet i mean kind of legendary
and then drake just goes to kentucky derby shuts it all down has that ever happened before what
like rappers just go to the kentucky derby and just become the thing bro it was amazing to see
you sent me the video where they're all chanting druski bro yeah so the whitest of white people
yeah are looking at drake jack carlo and jack carlo's from
kentucky so it makes sense but druski i didn't realize how big druski was until that moment yeah
i thought druski was like an internet sensation within hip-hop and black people and i didn't
think white people knew anything about it and also like culturally the things he's talking about
they're not very relatable to like a lot of white people you wouldn't think white folks in kentucky
would know like he'll have videos
of like someone fresh out of jail
and how they act.
It's like,
none of my white friends
know what the fuck that is.
But then he does other videos
of like him being
like a valley girl.
Like,
ah,
my Starbucks.
And like,
I need box.
Or just like making fun
of some guy on live
with Could've Been Records.
Like,
anyone can watch that
and be like,
oh,
that's funny.
Yeah.
He's making fun
of a bad rapper.
No,
there's no question
that motherfucker's funny.
Yeah,
but like, I think anyone can get in on that got you okay i
didn't know that he was more diverse in his content i thought it was kind of like hip-hop
like i was trying to get him when we were in miami because yeah but he also came up on like with jack
i love that that friendship is actually real and organic yeah but like imagine jack in that moment
so he's like from kentucky yeah goes to kent Kentucky Derby, which is the shit in his town that everyone
talks about.
Yeah.
This is a horse race to anybody watching that doesn't know what we're talking about.
Unknown two years ago, all of a sudden is now shutting the whole event down with his
hero idol Drake on one side and his best friend Drewski on the other side.
Yeah.
And it's just like-
That's a moment.
Takes over the internet.
That's such a cool moment to do in your hometown.
And a suit look fire.
Yeah. I don't know what Drake
was wearing. Drake was dressed like a seal.
I like Drake's shit. I thought he looked cool.
It's not Kentucky Derby
appropriate, typically, but
it's a cool fit. He don't give a fuck.
He don't give a fuck.
What does that mean? He did give a fuck.
There was a choice to wear that.
Yeah, but he doesn't have to.
I don't have to conform to your rules. There you wear that you bet he doesn't have i don't have to conform
to your rules there you go ah he doesn't care about wearing a suit or dressing appropriate
for the kentucky derby i don't need to fit in at the kentucky i don't need to fit in the whole
idea is like you go in that theme and then do whatever you want in that theme he just went
completely different that's what i thought was cool about the druski's outfit like he had the
suit with the shorts and the cowboy boots on yeah it was ridiculous like it was amazing he was like what is it the doll from toy story
oh woody yeah he looked like woody from toy story it was it was it was brilliant and he's like
leaning into it doing all this stuff i don't know what drake is doing but drake i guess don't have
to dress any way he fucking wants no yeah you know what was cool is if you what i'm 38 so i've seen hip-hop go from they're
bragging about fucking mercedes to then bugattis then watches then art and now they're at fucking
derby day doing videos so like we watch hip-hop go from new money to old money in our lifetime
and it was like a cool thing if you look back it was like real immature and like hey i got a
mercedes and rapping about fucking trying to get my hands on some grants like horace rapping about 50 bills and now you guys are have fucking videos at derby day
yeah it's just cool to watch hip-hop get wealthy yeah that's fine all right guys we take a break
for a second yeah i'm in a new shirt you know i'm saying i had to switch it up because i gotta tell
you guys about cuts some of y'all need to step up your leisure wear okay you got hoodies you got
tees they're not comfortable you're sitting or standing or working in a hoodie or tee that's not comfortable right now
that's why your girls dry the main reason as to why your girls a desert is because your your your
sweatshirts your hoodies your tees all of your leisure wear, they suck.
They're unbearable.
She can't walk around the house with them when you're not there.
She's probably wearing her ex's shit still because her ex had cuts.
Look, these shirts are made to last.
Okay?
Ditch the fast fashion brands and invest in cuts.
Okay?
They've got tons of great colors and
styles crew necks henley's long sleeves your mother there's something for everyone okay cuts
is on fire right now gq even labeled them the only shirt worth wearing because gq understands
what's going on they understand what's going on in your bedroom they understand there's a lot more preparation there has to be because your girl it's frozen the box is frozen bro and ladies if you're listening
right now you're watching right now you know exactly what i'm talking about get your man some
cuts and get sloppy okay my point is right now you need to refresh your wardrobe with cuts okay
especially for the summertime so this is what we could do give him 10 this is
mark i think 10 is good mark the best i could do with 15 oh my god 15 off your first order by going
to cutsclothing.com flagrant that's c-u-t-s clothing.com flagrant mark want to give you 10
i'm giving you 15 i don't give a fuck i'm trying to save your relationship. Poor girl. Bone dry.
Let's get back to the show.
What'd you guys think of the album?
I haven't heard it,
but I just love Jack Harlow.
And I don't think it matters how the album is.
I heard some people saying it wasn't that good.
I'm sorry.
You said you love Jack Harlow.
Yeah.
Is this the first white rapper that you love?
Yes.
Finally.
Here's why.
I love him.
And this is what I think the the genius of him is it doing
this derby day shit i heard criticism of the album it doesn't matter we like jack yeah who gives a
fuck if the album is good or not i'm not gonna listen to a white rapper's album but i like jack
harlow and that's all that matters so go do white man can't jump you're probably gonna be great
you're super likable like self-aware fucking brilliant
social like you he's like he's got he's got that thing drake has personality wise yeah like he's
just fucking socially brilliant and it doesn't matter if the music is good yeah like you yeah
no that's a good ass point i think it matters what's that if the music is good like did you
like it the few songs i've heard yes
i haven't heard the whole album i just thought if you were going to argue with me you would have
more to say i'm not saying you can't disagree with me i just thought you would be in general
like social iq goes a certain way because you disagreed very passionately i think it matters
and then you just didn't have longevity wise novity-wise? No, you want great music. Like, Drake has a social presence.
He's got this concert presence.
He's got it all.
Absolutely.
I haven't heard the album yet.
I've only heard the song that...
And I'm saying it from his first album.
Like, I think it's really great.
What?
G-R-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.
My first class.
That's just a Fergie song.
That's not.
I thought that was.
Oh, they're not.
That's the flip.
It's a flip on a Fergie song.
Yeah, but he's just only singing the Fergie song.
Oh, that's the one I know.
You got to go like this.
Yeah.
That's the one I know.
You have to do those things to make it the Jack Harlow song.
That's so stupid.
G-L-A- l a what's next though
it don't sound like it's better than the fergie version to be honest
y'all don't know the words i know glamorous o u s yeah first class up in the sky
champagne that's just a fergie song still you're still just only singing the fergie shit
champagne that's just a ferguson still you're still just only singing the ferguson shit wait are you sure yeah nah bro yeah how does the jack harlow go sex in the end on the
i looked at him and he's like, what? Yeah, that sounds like a hit right there, boy. That's some shit on my man, Jack.
That's all slaps, Al.
I actually like the album.
Like, it's decent.
It's not, it doesn't have any crazy slappers on it, but it's a decent, it's a solid album.
I feel like this is every album that comes out now.
It's like, Drake dropped the album and everybody said the exact same thing.
They're like, ah, it's mid.
Kanye dropped the album.
Everybody says the exact same thing, mid.
And then a month, yes. No, people didn't say kanye's album was mid what are you
yes they did but a lot of people said a lot of stop bro stop they expected something else
everybody was like you know oh there's a few songs but most or whatever like everybody goes
every album's mid and then a month or two later people go oh my god this is one of the best albums
i've ever heard three or four plays through on an album now that happens yeah you need time but i'm not hearing
that about the drake's newest album the same way i did what was the scorpion or whatever everybody
shat on it and then it was just hit after hit after hit after hit i'm not seeing the hits come
out and i'm out of the culture i guess so you could correct me if i'm wrong but i'm not seeing
crazy hits on certified lover boy like that if anything i would think the opinion has gone
further down since it's been up really i think kanye the opinion has gone further up because
kanye's always sorry to interrupt but kanye's always sonically so far ahead of what we're ready
for yeah it seems like yeah you have to catch up to it and be like oh no shit is gonna sound like
this later uh huh i like the album though you should give it a listen yeah it's no i'm gonna
listen to it i like i like jack carlo but it's listen yeah it's no i'm gonna listen to it i like
i like jack harlow it's like it's like a cruising like a cruising in your car yeah not like you're
about to turn up at the club out but that's his style i feel nah but i mean his first song was
popping like that should get you in like that's some shit i'm gonna go out to him but it's still
chill like his flow is chill yeah but it's still like a song you would listen to right with before you're about to step
on stage okay i got you i guess for me like that's more production like his flow is like chill like
like you look at like a snoop snoop isn't like a fucking turn up let's go whatever but maybe the
production turns it into something like that or turns into more like coasting ride along type of
music yeah and that's why i was surprised he didn't have any of those on this album.
I also realized I don't know the words to any songs
now that I don't drive.
Back before when I would drive everywhere,
I would listen and I would sing along
and I would learn the words.
And now that I'm on the train,
I'm just humming and I don't know any words to anything.
You can't sing along to nobody.
Yeah.
Maybe that's why I never knew words.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Like Tom's Diner. Yo, Tom's Diner Tom's Diner I know
at the diner
that's called Tom's
I will get my eggs
and scramble them
at the diner
that's called Tom's
wait for a table if you need
six people
automatic gratuity
what yeah i know that song yeah tom's diner yeah tom's diner and people just going crazy over jack
and drake and all that shit is wild but it was making me think is it kind of a deal breaker if
your girl is like a fangirl of another celebrity like if you were to meet like a girl she's like yo i'm the biggest fan
of like bad bunny or i'm like the biggest fan of like harry styles i have like a poster of him i
want to meet him i want to pay for the meet and greet are you like i can't i don't think does it
make you feel weird as long as this yeah because you know they like me that's fine
who are you talking to right now i'm just saying if they like me you's fine who you talking to right now
I'm just saying if they like me
you know your girl got good taste
that's all I'm trying to say
you know what I'm saying your girl got good taste
what we supposed to do go look in the camera and be like
yeah that's a deal breaker
get out of here bro
I'm talking about a fan I'm talking like yo I have the posters
in the room it's fine
it's okay this is good there's nothing wrong with this we want this i forgot you're a sex symbol i
completely forgot that you're a sex symbol out here a question mark maybe i think it's perfectly
safe your girl a fan of me you know i ain't fucking her so your girls would love me yo you
fuck bitches bro yeah how do you deal with the fangirls, though?
What?
Not your shows.
Same way I deal with imaginary friends.
You know what I mean?
Stop talking.
You mean the dudes who love me?
Yeah, that's fine.
We hang out.
I would not be cool with it if my girl was a fan of someone in comedy.
Oh, that would...
Fuck that.
That's a problem.
That's a problem.
If she's a fan of somebody like, I don't know, some other shit.
BTS.
Yes.
BTS is fine, too.
BTS is fine.
You can have BTS.
It really depends how threatening they are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Correct. You know what I mean? Correct. BTS is fine. It really depends how threatening they are.
Correct. You know what I mean?
Correct.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
If they're not threatening in any way, then it'd be fine.
Could I emasculate them to the point where my girl would no longer be attracted to them
in front of her if need be?
Yeah.
Then yeah.
So why couldn't you do that to a comic?
Say again? Why couldn't you do that if she was a fan of another comic?
No, I could, but it's like,
yo, don't be laughing at somebody else.
That's too personal, bro.
Why is that funny?
What the hell is that funny?
I'm with you on that.
I'm with you on that.
What if your girl was like, yo,
the best podcast studio is this other one. Yeah, it's a female comic? What if your girl was like, yo, the best podcast studio
is this other one.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy, right?
It's the other podcast studio.
It's fucking dead.
Right?
Thank you.
What if it's a female comic?
Say again?
Female comic.
Even then, like,
how funny is it?
How funny is it?
Like, you're going to send me
a clip of another comic,
male, female,
oh, this is hilarious.
Like, hilarious?
Like, it's hilarious?
Is that what it is to you you find
this hilarious am i a comedian or not right no for real don't do that shit i don't even like
when she'd be laughing at waiters like i'm like like what for what like what was it what his
little joke about the cutlery that's that that funny? You're threatened by a waiter? Okay, okay, OJ.
I'm going to get threatened by the waiter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Motherfucker.
Yes, I am, motherfucker.
Motherfucker.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Akash.
You don't ever feel this way?
You hate every celebrity that's more successful
than you. Not a waiter.
Waiters not more successful than me.
Akash doesn't see waiters as humans, so he doesn't care.
You understand? He's not threatened by that.
No, that is a good point. No, no, for real.
Yeah, I don't like that shit.
I don't like that. I don't like it.
I don't like it. Y'all like it?
I love it. You love your girl just laughing
at other guys? I can't imagine my girl laughing. Die laughing at a waiter. Die and like, oh my god it? I love it. You love your girl just laughing at other guys?
I can't imagine my girl laughing. Die laughing at the waiter.
Die and like, oh my God, the funniest guy ever.
You haven't got one squeak out of her all week.
How funny are these waiters, bro?
That's a huge joke, bro.
How funny are these waiters?
Like, getting a laugh to, oh my God, the funniest guy ever.
The funniest human being I ever met brought me cheddar baked biscuits.
Is Eddie Murphy working at Carbone?
Yeah, yeah.
Eddie Murphy works at Carbone.
I'm not going to red box him, but like, why don't you set a face? Yeah, yeah. Eddie Murphy works at Carbone.
I'm not going to Red Lobster, but like-
Why don't you say Cheddar Bakes?
Yeah, because then this guy has an opinion on restaurants.
This guy, his only reference is-
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes.
Cheddar Bakes. Cheddar Bakes. Cheddar Bakes. Cheddar Bakes. Cheddar Bakes. taste man bougie forgot where you came from no i like diners i just don't like red lobsters
man forgot where he came from he too good for you when was the last time you were at a diner
bro say again when was the last time you were at a diner last week what what diner that was tom
snyder
we got all
The gravy
Cheese and stuff
And the funniest
Waiters in town
You know what Tom's Diner is?
Real talk
It's the diner in Seinfeld
Say again?
Tom's Diner
Is the diner in Seinfeld
I know
It's in the Upper West Side
I think
Yeah
Oh is it?
Is it?
Yeah hey
It's in his neighborhood It's it yeah hey it's in this neighborhood
the most famous show in new york history
the numbers are numbers you know okay but if you come up trying to make my wife laugh
you gonna get 20 for me regardless like
come on iphone is 10 nice you come up joking around ha ha ha ha for what we know what we want
hey what are the specials today it looks like someone pretty special sitting next to you right now. Oh, wow. What?
What?
Did you need to say that?
Also, wait, you sit next to your girl at the booth?
Say what?
You sit next, you same side?
Oh, always.
Yeah, same side.
Wait, really?
If you're in love, you say it. You just started eating now.
Get the fuck out.
What the fuck was that?
Your same side? How long have you been looking at your wife, bro? You want to keep looking at her? You just spit on your sweater. Yeah, it's true. You're the same size.
How long have you been looking at your wife, bro?
You want to keep looking at her?
You just spit on your sweater.
I always spit when I talk.
Yes, he didn't love.
That's why.
That's a sign of love.
That's a sign of passion.
Make my girl laugh.
Also, I need to see this motherfucker coming up with his jokes, checking his little notebook.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
He's coming up trying to make my motherfucking girl laugh.
How you going to try to hit him like this?
Exactly.
How you gonna do that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You sit straight like this?
Yeah, so I can go earmuffs.
What do you mean?
Just in case the waiter's super funny.
I gotta cover him.
I've said that to a waiter before.
I was like, oh, you're pretty funny.
You ever try to stand up?
And he was like, I was thinking about it. I was like, oh, you're pretty funny. You ever try to stand up? I was thinking about it.
I was like, yeah, stick with that.
Keep it on stage, fam.
You looked at me like, oh, you ever saw that Radio City?
Yeah, I said that.
He was like, no.
You're like, oh, weird.
Oh, that's so weird, huh?
You know he does this because he's selfish, right?
Because a girl's supposed to get the booth seat, but he's like, nope.
I want to see inside the restaurant.
Oh, same siding?
Same siding.
He's like, yeah, so we can be together. No, he be together no always same seat yo selfish you of all talking about seating is crazy to me
this guy all you care about is getting into the right seat i never get amazing he's amazing at
20 people walk into a room and he's strategizing he's in pole position it's fucking f1 it's f1
it's unbelievable with dudes but if it's with a date or my girl why your hair look like mine what's going on what's going on
bro well you take your girl so you think your hair looks like just sticking up man hi oh just
any girls listening this guy takes a booth seat hey thanks though i appreciate that yeah
this hair looks horrible dude what were you saying heroin jin Josh Peck? What did you say?
You're mentioning something.
Heroin Josh Peck?
That's fucking crazy, dude.
Oh my God. I wish you had the camera.
Oh, the memes shall roll in.
No, this is good.
This is good.
Yeah, I know.
You suck.
Yo, he was so pissed. we went to Q the other night
he was so fucking pissed off
that he wasn't part of the booth
or were you at the end of the booth
when you guys walked in
he was on the chair
yeah you were on the chair
yeah
oh yeah yeah
bro tell me this isn't
Schultz and Dove
yeah
Schultz and Dove
yeah that's right
yeah come on
what you doing bro I'll allow it I'll allow it you're the rapist there we are dove yeah this guy the other guy looks like he fucks kids bro yeah he does doesn't he he does
he looks like he fucks kids and he does but he does oh he had child porn on his laptop yeah he
was doing something crazy i don't know exactly what
exactly was it because i don't want to put that on the man i he does have allegations of some kind
of sexual abuse i don't know if it's rape or pedophilia or what but he has allegations
i'll find the details yeah maybe we should find the details man we just he's accused of sexual
contact and grooming an underage fan thank you how old come old? Come on, man. I'm not going to...
Dove, will you allow it?
Come on.
Here's saying.
Well, we're just curious.
We're not saying we're going to defend it.
We're just curious.
I just wanted to know.
We just want the info.
The info is underage.
There's levels to disgusting.
Thank you.
Well said.
Grooming her. Absolute disgusting. Grooming her. He to disgusting. Thank you. You know what I'm saying? There's levels to absolute disgusting.
Grooming her.
He's disgusting.
Now we want to know how disgusting.
According to NBC News, an Ohio judge sentenced former Nickelodeon television star on Monday
to two years of probation for child endangerment after he was accused of grooming her since
she was 12 years old.
Whoa.
Oh, aren't y'all glad you know that?
No.
I supported you.
This judge should be shot.
Two years probation?
Yeah, I know.
He's so fucking soft?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I hope he was not guilty and you still gave him two years probation just in case.
That's the only way that's an acceptable sentence.
That's fucking disgusting, dude.
That's disgusting.
Two years probation?
The fact that you would even say i look like that guy
that's when you sit next to dove kind of on on your own you don't but he looks so much like
josh peck yeah can we get we should get a side to side pick and put it up that shit is fucking
hilarious hold on i don't want to be part of this you're saying that i'm looking like a fucking raper Alex like R. Kelly
Like we all look like someone bad
Does Alex look like R. Kelly?
Identical to R. Kelly
Come over a little bit more towards me
Come on don't do it in the chair
Cause it'll break
Come on come on
It's your fat ass
Okay let's go
Ready let's go
I'm in bro
yeah it's gonna take some time to realize when you look over your shoulder you know that it's
i never saw this show i never saw this show i never saw spongebob i never saw rick and morty's
rick and morty's and you I think we can still watch that.
That generation, they like pedophiles.
That's one.
They like pedophiles.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys are entertained by that.
Pathetic, you people.
Yeah.
You people are pathetic.
Yeah, you're fucking gross.
You guys are disgusting.
Why?
Because we don't like pedophiles?
Yeah.
Bro, you guys are disgusting, bro.
Now, when he was younger and he wasn't fucking kids, I kind of looked like him.
I'm not going to lie.
As he got older and started to fuck kids.
The second he started grooming one kid, you looked nothing like him.
Nothing like him at all, dude.
That guy looks weak.
It's a weak piece of shit.
Yo, I saw a guy that looks like Mark.
His name is Zeth.
Z-E-T-H.
This motherfucker looks like Mark in an alternate, like in a...
Where he's allowed by his parents to be like musical and a little gay.
Oh, yeah.
Yo, tell me this guy doesn't look he does he does some shit i think he does like a podcast with his daughter
or something like that daughter's super cute yeah and but the guy just looks so much like mark to me
how old's the daughter bro adorable not like attractive ah you said cute yeah cute like a Cute. Like a little baby. Yo, yeah. This guy's crazy.
What is going on?
Why do you even need to bring it up?
Yo, this is your conscience.
Might be a good time to not talk about children
and how cute they are.
We can't say kids are cute.
This is your conscience.
Literally, your hair looks the same and then everything else, no.
He got the forehead and everything, bro.
Well, I don't know.
He keeps wearing the hats.
Yeah, for a reason, bro.
I mean, he's a cute kid.
He's so much cuter than Mark, though.
No, don't do that.
Don't do that.
You think he got Mark?
His hair got the blonde that you want.
Oh, he got the sun blonde.
That's a natural balayage.
That's balayage, bro.
That's fake.
No, that's not.
That's his real sun kiss. He just tries to do it artificially. No, this isayage. That guy surfs. That's balayage. That's fake. No, that's not. That's his real sun kiss.
He just tries to do it artificially.
No, this is lemon juice.
He put lemon juice.
This guy's a fraud.
Lemon juice and sun in.
This is sun in, dude.
Come on.
Are you kidding me?
How'd you come across this guy's content?
You were just looking for kids or whatever?
Hey, yo!
You gotta go over the top.
Go over the top.
Hey, yo!
What are you talking about? You're a yo! What are you typing?
You're a murderer.
What are you typing?
You killed a guy.
I'm just saying.
What are you typing?
The algorithm knows what I like.
And it serves it up.
Why did you go that way?
Exactly.
Why did you go that way?
He's leaning in.
He's leaning in.
Call him a murderer.
You gotta lean in.
Watches?
Yeah, you gotta lean in.
You probably gotta watch it.
Let me look at your Explore page.
Look like fucking Blue's Clues.
Let me see your Explore page. Look, you Blue's Clues. Let me see your Explore page.
Look, you got a ladder.
Look, you got a ladder.
Age ain't nothing but a number.
Hey, yo.
Son, you are a fucking creep, son.
Show it to the camera.
Give us a scroll.
He got a pregnant girl on here.
You're not even waiting.
Son.
Yo, son.
Yo, he wants that shit right when it's out. Maybe my wife and i are trying you know what i mean
combined age of 30 go
oh dude you are you're weird son look at he got other pedophiles just like him
son what is going on on his explore page scrolling down to get there
what's at the top fam literally ready this is what's at the top Before you're scrolling down to get there. You are scrolling down to fall out, bro. Fam, literally, ready?
What's at the top?
Right here.
One scroll, and I'm already at the creep?
That's a lot.
Let me see your explore page.
Let me see your explore page.
You can look at my explore page.
I'll give you that shit.
Let me just see.
All right, all right, all right.
Go to my explore page.
See what's up.
Hold on, hold on.
Record the screen.
Record the screen real quick.
Oh, look at this. He said he don't like white girls. Look at this.
What the fuck? Yo, Akash!
Son, son, son, son.
What the fuck is this, yo?
Hey, yo! White bitches
sucking dang a leg!
Alright, hold on. That's hot.
Alright, here we go.
I got an ice cream cone stuck in my mouth.
You got a lot of odd looking folks on here oh jesus this is this is on brand
bro you weren't lying you really into this
you thought i've been lying for fucking eight years
watches and and vacation.
Oh, my God.
Feet, watches, Italy.
That's all you want to say.
And a lot of brolic-ass dudes.
Let's go.
Amputees and shit like that.
Let's go.
A lot of brolic-ass dudes.
I do like cripples or people missing shit that can do things.
I do like if you're missing some shit and you can do things.
No one likes hot dudes.
Bro.
Nah, you like hot dudes, bro.
Me too, though.
I'm going to be honest with you. My shit looks exactly like that. Yeah, you like hot dudes, bro. Me too, though. I'm gonna be honest with you.
My shit looks exactly like that.
Yeah, you guys are both gay.
Get it.
Wait, why is that gay, son?
And why shorty got
a whole ice cream cone
stuck in her mouth?
You still on this shit.
You like that shit.
It's a white girl.
You've been on that shit
Can you look at this
and look how specific this is?
It's a white girl
sucking on a brown thing.
Hmm.
Brown.
What do you think?
What do you think?
You don't think Akash didn't look like a waffle cone? She's sucking Akash's whole arm? hmm what do you think what do you think you don't think
oh she look like a waffle cone she's sucking our college's whole arm is that what oh oh oh
pakistan prime minister imran khan ousted that's suggested
you know who i am some brown shorties up in this you got a lot of these motherfuckers
yo you got some weird ass bitches. Let me see my shit.
What's yours, Al?
Nah, we good.
That's what I thought.
That's what I thought.
Yo, Al.
Al, don't be pussy.
Yo, yo, yo.
These niggas out here crazy.
Pussy.
Yo, that nigga's crazy, bro.
Yo, Al, don't be pussy, bro.
That nigga's crazy, bro.
I do got a pregnant woman on here.
Yes, you do.
Oh, shit. That's what I'm got a pregnant woman on here. Yes, you do. Oh, shit.
That's what I'm saying.
You're a freak.
You're legit a freak.
But Al, can we just have a real serious conversation with you?
I'll switch it, Mark.
Let me see the Explore.
I'm going to have a whole bunch of kids pop up.
I'm going to have a bunch of ass pop up.
Come on, it's fine.
Can we please see, and I mean this in a sense, can we please see yours?
Oh, fuck.
Wait, wait, wait.
Let me see. Pass that over here, Mark.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
We're going to pass both.
No, no, no, no, no. We looking at it.
Y'all are really pussy.
Y'all are genuinely pussy right now.
Y'all really got no fucking heart.
Beautiful black woman, that's fire let me see sneakers
give me the phone nah nah you good man i mean a monkey killing his kid that's crazy that's
fucking crazy evolution what is that i mean that's crazy it's a lot of sneakers a lot of sneakers. A lot of NBA drama. Mark got clothes. Yeah.
You got girls from Williamsburg.
Let's go.
Respect.
Y'all really not going to give me the phone to look through?
No, fuck you. Give me the phone.
Mark got.
Nah, nah, nah.
You let him.
I thought that was my phone.
Oh, this is wild, bro.
That's wild, bro.
Yo, what's that, bro?
Come on.
You got.
Hey, I'm progressive, bro. That's wild, bro. Yo, what's that, bro? Come on. You got... Hey, I'm progressive, bro.
Son, what the fuck is this?
Oh, I'd watch zip-popping videos.
Oh, yeah, obviously.
That's just fire.
Dr. Pimple Popper?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course, of course.
Yeah, those are lit.
I like that more on...
On what?
On Twitter, though.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I follow her on Twitter.
Yo, you got dude's legs on this
al trying to be brolic with his legs so bad everyone gets fitness shit can i try be honest
can i try if you don't get fitness shit that's right your instagram is legit that's because
you don't see no feet that's why say again if i don't see feet within one scroll i'm out
i mean that sincerely i gotta see you i haven't seen one foot here, dude.
Yo, Al, you don't get no vision.
Al gets no internet vision.
The three married guys have the girl sucking on the cone.
Don't remind me.
The one unmarried guy.
That does not exist at all on their explore page.
I'll tell you everything you need to know about this married life my friends
oh my god instagram knows you don't like girls bro like instagram does like girls
instagram knows you can't handle this yeah you really can't you really can't
it's whack it only shows you it shows you girls you can handle, bro.
It's the shit you're interested in.
You had a couple fucking fitted hats.
There was like sneaker pages.
You had like fucking cables and shit for your studio.
But you didn't have any hoes.
You didn't have any feet.
Son.
And you didn't have any watches.
Grow up.
Grow up, son.
I'm washed, bro.
Watch his hoes feet.
Grow up.
He ain't got no watches on his shit. He's a kid. He's 25. The guy's 22 years old. Just wait, though. Watch his hoes feet. Grow up. He ain't got no watches on his shit.
He's a kid.
He's 25.
The guy's 22 years old.
Just wait, though.
I ain't seen watches
on yours.
I got this right here.
I'm good.
Oh, shit.
What is that?
He got a nice little watch.
A little cardigan.
That's just fire.
Santos.
Santos.
That's fire.
A little birthday gift
from the wife.
Nice.
Why are you moving
your hands so delicately?
Yeah, yeah.
Son, I just want people
to see how
delicate watch he hasn't moved his hand the whole time you know why because i'm too dumb to be like
hey just do this my brain was like there's something in the way here i can't move my hand
there you go look at that he slaps the chair every episode now he's like nah
but that is fire. Good present.
Thank you. Good present from the wife.
Thank you, Dove.
This is your work wife.
Still haven't gotten anything for his wedding.
Son, I got a birthday gift in May
before he got a wedding gift for his December wedding.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
I think it's a riddle.
I'm a bad person yeah you
are a bad person the horse's name is friday did you see that movie too no i actually haven't okay
but they did do a table read of that this weekend it was fire great movie what movie friday no
little big league what the fuck is happening yeah what is going on
are you serious the joke he says the horse's name is friday
no i thought you said you've seen that movie and i was like oh the movie friday
the baseball player comes in and says
this is top tier entertainment right here
stop looking at fee yo a cowboy rides into town
on friday he stays three days and leaves on friday how does he do it oh the horse's name
is the horse's name is friday little big league did you see the movie the kid inherits the team
no hey dove can we look at your explore page and see more boring shit like that
you got a bunch of riddles over there? Are we talking about bitches?
Oh, Dove got it crazy?
Let me see.
I can't wait to see this one.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second
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Now let's get back to the show.
to make quality mental health care accessible and affordable for all.
Now let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I have to make an apology to one of our sponsors.
We have a new sponsor, Exodus.
And last week on the podcast, I thought I knew what the brand was about,
and I was telling people that this was a service
and it will basically move all the Jews out of your neighborhood.
I thought it was inspired by, obviously obviously the Bible and the story of Exodus.
I was wrong.
That's on me.
I am taking accountability for that.
That is not what Exodus does.
It does not remove the Jews from your neighborhood or your country and put them into the desert
for, you know, 30 or some odd days where they just kind of wander around looking for their
homeland.
That's my fault.
Okay. So apology my fault. Okay?
So, apology.
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Turns out, great company.
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Okay.
So what I'm saying is Exodus has got your back.
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That simple.
And I think that we can do a deal.
What kind of deal are you thinking?
I mean, you know, there's a lot of times fees when it comes to buying these cryptos.
True.
Fees add up.
They fucking add up, man.
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now's the fucking time now's the fucking time bro bitcoin going down tumbling gobble gobble gobble
let's get back to this show ig super diesel black dude let's go uh golden retriever a lot of
golden retrievers a yacht a watch another chick uh migrants working cristiano ronaldo crying
one blue square duff come on yeah not a single blue square. More Russian models. Models that kind of need him for citizenship and other things.
Any Jewish girls on his IG score?
Not a single.
Wow.
Not a single Jewish anything.
They could be Russian Jews.
Not a single Jewish anything.
You see how unhappy he got when he said that?
The whole idea turned him off.
Wait, what?
He don't like Jewish girls, dude.
He's turned off by them.
But a Russian Jew is like, is basically white.
We genuinely need to find Dove a wife.
I'm not even joking.
Like, I need the asshole army to get behind this.
How would you do it?
What's his criteria?
So here's the thing.
We need to stop playing around with, here you go.
Whoa.
We need to stop playing around with non-Jews because it's just a waste of time.
And Dove goes through this thing where he like convinces himself like there might be
an opportunity.
And then he soon realizes that like if it's not
Jewish it's not even happening.
So we need Jewish women
or people that listen to this podcast that
have friends that are Jewish women
they have relatives, needs to
be Jewish.
Full half? No, no, no.
I'm not even doing the half. I'm sorry.
It's going to fall apart. It's all going to come crumbling
down. Half is okay.
If the mom is Jewish.
It has to be mother's Jewish.
Okay.
And they have to be raised Jewish.
It has to be culturally ingrained.
That's big.
The whole thing.
That's big.
100%.
Yeah.
I would even do dad's Jewish, but if they were raised Jewish as fuck, Jewish last name,
the whole thing.
Needs to be Jewish.
I need Asshole Army to help.
I need everybody spreading the word.
I need us to make this an actual thing.
We are getting our brother hitched.
Who's your dream girl?
We talk about the qualities of this girl?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop.
What are you talking about?
No, no, no, no.
I mean this sincerely.
No, no, no, no.
This is...
You're wasting the time then.
You're going to waste the time.
Wait, you've wasted 38 years. Listen, listen, listen. I're wasting the time then. Let me just get this out. Wait, you've wasted 38 years.
Listen, listen, listen.
I don't want to hear anything about wasted time from you anymore.
Listen, here's the reality.
He doesn't even go on dates with girls that are Jewish.
Right now, the dating pool can only be Jewish.
And from there, we will start finding the right connection. He's trying to build a house from the top down.
Yes.
No foundation.
The foundation you require is that she's
Jewish. Yes. So it's like from
now on. Start of the foundation. Not even a single
date if they're not Jewish. I don't even want you going for
a single hookup if they're not Jewish.
Only Jewish. If you talk
to a girl at a bar, she's not Jewish. No.
Don't waste your time anymore.
You're putting out all this emotional energy for
something that you know is not going to work out when
you deeply want to be married and have kids.
So right now, we're not playing games anymore.
Asshole Army, I need y'all to step up.
Take care of our boy.
Okay?
I love this.
This is...
Listen, I told you what I tell you.
I say, this is it.
I'm tired.
I'm done.
We're getting you married.
Arranged marriage, baby.
That's it, right?
We're getting you married.
And listen, it will happen.
Everybody, I'm telling you right now, I am dead serious.
We are finding Dove a wife.
You guys can make it happen.
Okay?
No fucking Raya profile.
No Tinder.
What's the other shit?
J-Swipe and all this thing.
J-Day.
J-Day is cool.
The people.
The people.
The chosen people.
The chosen people.
No other criteria.
Mark is the only one that's saying that.
That's after.
That's secondary.
I'm not going on dates with a girl.
Age?
What about age?
I'm not attracted.
Jewish.
22?
No.
Jewish.
Older.
Jewish.
We need.
We got to try something different.
I know that you're saying raise the age a little bit from what he's used to, but
I think we gotta go even up
further past that. Does tribe matter? Ethiopian Jews?
No, no, no. Just Jewish.
He would love Ethiopian, but
just Jewish, and that's where we'll start,
and then we're gonna start collecting.
We're gonna collect. Let's get a hundred to go through.
And it's not gonna work out. Some of these girls aren't gonna
like you. You're not gonna like some of these girls, and it is
what it is. But at least if we start
with a dating pool
where if it works out,
if you actually have
that connection,
it can work because
of this stupid requirement
you have.
And we bring them
on the podcast to meet him.
I don't think it's
a stupid requirement, Dov.
I have the same requirement
for Indians.
No, you don't.
Your girl's a different
religion than you.
I only need an Indian.
You dumbass.
You're the only Indian.
There's two billion Indians
in 10 Jews. What are you talking about? to hold the Indian. There's two billion Indians in Penn Jews.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, same requirement.
There's two billion Indians
and you couldn't even get one from your same religion.
I never cared if they were the same religion.
Hindus don't care if you're the same religion.
I've said that from the jump.
Matter of fact,
you grilled me about this for hours when we first met
and I told you,
they just need to be Indian culturally.
That's it.
That's all I care about.
This is cap.
Religion is the most important thing to me, so I need to make sure that I'm decent. Yeah, but my faith accepts all of the faiths.
It's not a faith that's like universal donors.
Yeah, universal donor, universal recipient.
Caveat.
No, you met a really hot Indian girl and you're like,
what's religion?
That's really what happened.
My religion accepts everything, doesn't it?
You guys were fucking slaughtering Muslims for a while.
They weren't accepting
that religion.
Remember that?
Remember when you guys
divided the whole fucking country
because of religion?
Actually, that was Muslims.
Muslims did that?
Yes.
Muslims made Pakistan
and India?
Vala?
India had no part of that?
Where's Vala's head right now?
Vala had his phone
because he knows.
India had no part of that?
It was India.
Muslims wanted their own country
because they thought they'd get outvoted on everything.
I didn't think it was the dumbest idea.
The theory's not wrong.
But it was Muslims that wanted their own country.
Yo, very accepting of Muslims in India or what?
I mean, we're getting slaughtered.
Wait, what happened to that?
Sorry.
Wait.
Okay.
Muslims got slaughtered by Hindus?
We're getting slaughtered.
We had no rights. Yeah, they had no rights. Nobody had rights. It was all Britain? We had no rights.
Nobody had rights.
It was all Britain.
We had no rights.
Oh, now it's our fault.
Brown crime is our fault.
How do you have rights?
We have rights.
I see how it is.
You know what I mean?
See what they do?
See what they do?
The white devil.
It's always the white man's fault.
It is.
Always the white man's fault.
It is.
It was his fault.
Yes.
100%. It is fault it is it was his fault yes yeah 100 it is what it is we out here puppet mastering your little shit no i hate the english bro yeah they fucked up french canada
remember that yeah remember that fuck that whole thing up okay so back to what we're saying is
you can dove has literally a few thousand women that are alive that he can date. And only a few years left for him.
And a few years left.
Yeah.
Did I just kill myself?
No.
You're just very old for the dating pool.
Extremely old.
Not in New York.
No, for the Jewish dating pool, you're old.
For Jewish dating pool, you're old.
Not in New York.
Yes.
In LA, I was feeling it.
New York.
New York, I'm six years younger, baby.
That's why you moved here?
I thought you wanted to be with us.
All I'm saying is Jews get married younger.
They tend to get married younger, start families younger.
Yeah, but for men, does it matter?
Yes.
Because all the young Jews that are ready to get married,
which are the ones that he's going to be attracted to,
they're going to already be hitched.
And keep it real, if it's a girl who's 35 years old
and is not married and jewish your red flags are
going crazy you're like why aren't you married so you i know and he's i know and it is what it is
it's impossible but what we're doing is asshole army we're gonna find the diamond in the rough
it's gonna happen i'm fucking here dude hey we need to rate you okay
you know what would really help my can life? Can we do a rating?
Rate yourself right now.
JP Morgan to Chase.
720.
Hey, that shit dove Rothschild.
Let him know.
Fucking Rothschild, baby.
First of all, I will say this.
My credit score is fire.
Really?
Spectacular. Oh, what a surprise.
Yeah.
Nobody thought you'd have a low credit score.
Yeah.
I mean, you can call someone over there, right?
But I wouldn't.
Don't you guys have like a line that you call?
I'm saying 720 was offensive.
Yuck.
Okay.
So just so we know that what we're doing here is we're getting everybody same religion.
Same religion.
We'll work from there.
And then we do it.
But it's going to be'm it's gonna be hard
you know it would make it so long you wait so long how about this do a show in tel aviv
you're not gonna have the deck a little bit can i be honest with you stack the deck you can't
handle an israeli girl they were in the military it's like they will walk all over you.
They will run you down into the dirt.
You need, if I'm being completely honest, an Asian Jew.
Does that exist?
By the way?
What do you mean?
They're making them like hotcakes in LA.
There's a lot of half Asian.
Every Jewish guy who gets divorced from his Jewish wife remarries Asian.
Super hot, half Asian, half Jewish kids.
Or like Silicon Valley nerdy Jews with Asian wives.
Oh, okay.
Zuckerberg.
Very hot.
Zuckerberg got an Asian wife.
Yeah.
So that's what you need.
You need an Asian wife that's going to let you think that you're controlling things,
even though she's really running the whole house. But she's going to let you think publicly you're controlling things, even though she's really running the whole house.
But she's going to let you think publicly.
And she might be listening right now, so what do you want to say
to her really quick? Shalom.
Nothing. You've got to try it out.
I trust the army,
not the girls.
Set it up.
Let's go. We got this.
I mean this in serious. Asshole Army, we're going to get our brother
married. We're going to do this. We can
do this together. We unite and we're going to make this married we're gonna do this we can do this together we unite and we're gonna make this fucking thing
happen never been to a jewish wedding would love to go his shit is gonna be moroccan it's more like
it's more that's actually perfect it's better yeah because you still get the jewish wedding but
brown fun and japanese elements oh my god that'll be fun. What is that about? His wife. Oh, yeah.
Oh, a Japanese Jew.
Yeah, Jap.
Literally.
Japanese American person.
Literally.
That's where you have it.
That's literally what you need.
Yo, we found it.
Let's rock.
Okay.
What else we got going on, boys?
All right.
You want to talk about UFC fight from this weekend?
First of all, shout out to Rogan for hooking that up, man.
That was awesome. We finished the tour in vancouver shout out to everybody in vancouver that was incredible finishing the tour there like walking
on stage for the last time was a wild experience you get emotional i haven't processed it yet so
i didn't get emotional um but uh like yeah just like i think i think when we release this special
that's when i'll get emotional because it's like that material is now gone.
But right now, the material is still there.
Right, right, right.
So I can tour, right?
But once we go into special mode and that goes out there into the world, then it's like we start from scratch.
So that's going to be a cool experience.
But we go to UFC and Rogan hooks it up and we watch those fights and it was fucking crazy.
Like, it was just, I mean, there was one fight that was the most boring fight that I've ever seen in my entire life.
It was between the two chicks.
And I think that they threw like a total of 30 punches the whole fight.
What happened?
I don't know.
To be honest, I don't know.
Because that's the same girl we saw knock that girl out with a kick.
She's a fierce, incredible fighter.
Doug Rose.
She's brilliant.
They're saying that her corner just gave her that advice of just waiting to be attacked.
Yeah, wait and then counter her when she comes to attack you.
But if she doesn't attack.
Then you're fucked.
It's like what happened with one of the Izzy fights.
I remember the guy just went.
Oh, Yoel Romero.
Yes, Romero.
And there were so many more strikes thrown
in that one because he started chopping up the leg yeah like but i 100 that right so it's like
yeah it was uh but i mean the fucking tony ferguson michael chandler
instant i mean the knockout was did you see it unbelievable you gotta bring this up i've seen
the still of it it's crazy oh my god He was on the ground for minutes. We thought he died.
Yeah.
We thought he died.
Yeah.
Like it was completely gone.
Lights shut out.
Tony Ferguson has never been KO'd like that before.
I mean,
look at this.
Look at this.
And.
Oh shit.
I mean,
absolutely perfectly timed kick.
Fuck. He was just kick. For two minutes.
Fuck, he was just out.
Oh, my goodness.
And then we saw the main event was amazing as well.
This guy, Charles Oliveira, is something else, dude.
I mean, Justin Gaethje is awesome, but like,
Charles Oliveira, this is the craziest thing.
So he's a jiu-jitsu expert that got great striking game as well.
But jiu-jitsu is the base.
So it's so hard to finish him because in the first round,
Gaethje knocks him down twice.
Yeah.
Hurts him.
But once he goes down, he goes on his back,
and Gaethje has to let him up because it's more dangerous for Gaethje to go on top of him when he's on the ground because he's a jujitsu expert.
Right.
So he literally has to let him recover and get back up. to go on top of him when he's on the ground because he's a jiu-jitsu expert right so he
he literally has to let him recover and get back up isn't that crazy think about this you're
fighting a guy when you knock him down he becomes more dangerous yeah mentally going into that fight
i didn't see the fight he didn't stun him when he knocked him down he did that's the thing don't
you have like a couple of seconds where you can just try to get down you gotta be sure he's stunned yeah what often
happens with jujitsu guys is if they get a little bit wobbled they just go back yeah and that was
that second one he like got hit a little and then just fell and like laid there yeah he threw like
a front kick and kind of leaned back into it but it's like you get to recover and you become even
more dangerous yeah right like when you get stunned your legs are
the ones that are a little wobbly but if you're on your back you're good to go right he knows that
he wants him to jump on he wants it and then so justin would let him up every single time now i'm
assuming justin's strategy was to really crack him and catch him and then be able to knock him out
kind of on his feet which could work of course but it's like if you look at justin's fights he's more of like a
cumulative ko guy like he'll tag you hurt you drop you but it's like cumulative punches and also
charles olivera did something that's really interesting that i haven't they're like mitigated
uh gaethje's attack so gaethje starts chewing up your leg right he does these big kicks to your
front leg so that you can't plant your front leg and jab and strike etc and what olivera did is
instead of checking the kick so checking means you like turn your shin out so it's shin on shin
and hurts the person kicking you as well right instead of checking the kick he would just kick
his leg back so he did this thing where he just went and then he would just strike and miss and
it completely destroyed gaethje's attack yeah like
he just timed it he could see it happening in the moment it was like brilliant i never saw anybody
do that like why has nobody done that with the leg kick yeah it makes the most sense the shin
to shin thing you explained to me and i was like that's so fucking crazy that the only defense is
we both shatter our shins yeah dude anyway so it's like i saw that and i was like wow i guess a lot
more people are going to start doing that i mean because gaethje's whole beginning of his attack is chew away your fucking
leg now you can't even walk you can't plant like you can't jab against him and he just walked right
through that this oliver dude i don't know who beats him i mean it was just he doesn't have the
belt though right he didn't make weight because he didn't make he's a half a pound over yeah and
there's this weird controversy they're saying that when he weighed in
at the night before at the hotel
using the digital scale provided by the UFC,
he weighed 155.
The day of too.
And the day of.
What about official day?
The day of the weighing.
Yeah, both, both, both.
So he weighed up.
So what they're saying is that
somebody messed with the scale
and a bunch of the fighters were about 0.5 over.
Ah. Now, to be fair, he's the only one that missed weight so these other guys managed to
make weight but for a title fight you have to come in on the number for other fights you can
come in 155.5 or 170.5 okay so if it wasn't a title fight he would have been able to fight
but still it's like such a bummer right yeah it's like you did what you had to do you weighed in the digital scale
said you're at the weight he said he didn't have anything to eat or drink the rest of the night
i believe that yeah and then it comes down and it's like oh it's actually the scale's kind of
fault yeah because if you knew that the night before you could sweat it out you can get in
the fucking hot tub you can do these things oh such a shame but another amazing card watching fucking mma live is incredible was
it cool to see rogan going nuts with dc fucking doing oh yeah dude we we had a better shot of him
the last time we were there but like uh yeah it was just it was just fun and then we went out to
dinner after that and that was fucking great yeah yeah we can talk about yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like we're all sitting there like we go to the steakhouse we go to like this back room
we're all sitting there and first off the guy that's serving us i've never really seen this
like this before but like we're in phoenix i guess maybe they hadn't had people like rogan
they were like a little nervous but the guy is serving and he's like telling us the whole menu
he's like okay tonight we're gonna have uh we have a market salad and we have the fish or whatever dude he goes through like four minutes of the items on
the menu he's murdering it all memorized bro it's like m&m's eight mile wrap at the end
and he knows he's crushing it and it's in front of rogan and it's a big fucking deal
like i you know obviously he probably knows me as well but like rogan is in the room yeah and then he four minutes in he fumbles
and he forgets what he's saying he just kind of goes um oh sorry i forgot what i was saying there
and then as a joke i go start it over it gets a big laugh. Everybody's laughing.
And then he just goes,
okay, so we have two shellfish.
I don't even know that he's starting it
from the beginning, right?
We all laugh.
I don't even know he started it
because I tuned out
the whole fucking time anyway.
And all of a sudden,
Rogan just goes,
are you really fucking
starting it from the beginning?
Bro.
And then my favorite part. He goes, oh yeah yeah he said so and i was like dude nobody's
paying attention anyway it's just fucking snake we know what we're gonna get but like i love these
fancy restaurants because they have all these formalities that make no sense they're super
inconvenient so there's another kid that comes in and he's dressed like fucking ratatouille he's got
like he's got like the chef outfit with the double buttons and the whole deal but he's probably like
a 23 year old kid like super sweet i love this kid he's so nice but shout out to angel
angel busts in the room and everyone's talking we're all having a good time like conversation
is going great and all of a sudden he comes and he's like uh you can like feel it you can feel
the flutter in his voice as soon as he starts talking when i tell you he's holding a comical
amount of waters he probably has 12
waters in his hands like 12 like it's like oktoberfest glass bottles he looks like a
fucking oktoberfest girl he's like uh hey hey everybody uh my name is is angel and i'm the
assistant server tonight uh um and uh would anyone like still or sparkling and everyone's like yeah
still is great okay and the conversation is now silent everyone that was talking is now dead silent he's walking around he's pouring water and his hand is shaking as
he's pouring everyone's cup and then he gets around he goes i'm gonna be honest guys i'm
i'm really nervous right now and then he walks around his shoulders and he pours his water he
goes oh man adam schultz is here he goes he goes adam schultz is here he goes i'm a big fan i go
okay it's actually andrew and he goes he goes oh okay okay yeah sorry about that it's okay i'm just
a little nervous and he goes okay then he comes back in believable he comes back in to refill
right he comes back in to refill the cup he goes he is yes, so crazy, man. Andrew Santino, I'm such a big fan. No, he didn't.
No, he didn't.
No, he didn't.
No way.
From Adam Schultz, I corrected to Andrew, and then he goes, yeah, Andrew Santino.
It's so crazy that you're here right now.
Bro, he called me Carrot Top.
Can you believe that?
He literally said that.
But I'm looking at him like, bro, you came in the room, you said two pieces of information.
You said, yo, my name is Angel.
I work here and I really shouldn't.
Like, we believe you work here.
You're dressed like a chef with hundreds of waters.
You don't need to say that part.
Bro, I mean, there was a lot of like fun shit that we were chopping up that night.
But this was a really fun part.
We ordered some desserts, right?
And this is so funny.
So the desserts are around the table.
Everybody's kind of picking it and
Val is eating this one that looks like a Ferrero
Rocher or whatever. You say it wrong every time.
How do you say it? Ferrero Rocher.
What? A Ferrero Rocher.
Ferrero Rocher. I thought it was Rocher.
I would say Rocher. It's Rocher.
You fucking dumbass.
You fucking Paul Bunyan
fucking bastard.
I did a good video. Ferrero Rocher is a big but it's like a big one it's got like pudding and all the shit in it
so I go to Vala and you know we don't eat dessert we don't eat bread yeah we've never had dessert
in my life we never do that so that's our running joke right which Joe doesn't know so I go I go
Vala how's that uh how's that dessert over
there as if i'm teasing him for eating and he goes oh no you're not gonna like this no no no
this this this one's not good for you joe thinks that vala is being selfish with the dessert
so joe just goes just goes he goes he goes he he goes, he goes, he goes. Oh, that sucks.
What are you just keeping a dessert over there?
No, it's for everybody.
You got to share the dessert.
And then physically removes the dessert.
Because in his eye, he's going, he's like, I'm paying for this dinner for everybody.
You're not going to keep the dessert that we're all sharing.
And I feel so bad, but I let him sit.
It was awesome. I leaned in. I was like, was like yeah dude why don't you share a little it was awesome and then angel went up to vol and was like joe rogan i'm a
huge fan oh my god bro it was so much fun all right guys let's take a break for a second because
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let's do some feelings no facts marquito what do we got i just wanted to show you this random video
that i found on the internet.
Okay.
Someone, I saw it as a hypothetical.
It was like, oh, do you think there's any white kids that grew up in Asian countries
that learned the language and now they only speak, and then they learn English and now
they speak English with an Asian accent?
Oh, this guy is a hero.
And they found one.
Thank fucking God.
So this is a white kid that grew up in Singapore.
Which one is the white kid? Okay. And this is a white kid that grew up in singapore which one is the
white kid okay and this is what he actually sounds like okay speak winglish white boy singlish so
how long have you lived in singapore singapore nine years already nine years and then before
that two years in china then some more got five years in the States. Oh, wow. Okay, do people treat you any differently?
Like, you know...
Bro, she just laughed at an Asian accent.
She just laughed at an Asian accent.
See, it's funny. It's funny, right?
It has nothing to do with the race. It's just funny.
Bro, she laughed in his face and goes, all right.
Does anyone treat you different?
It's like, yeah, you.
Yeah. Okay, keep going.
Wait, what are his parents?
Was he adopted?
You just speak how your parents speak.
That's right.
Well.
You don't sound Scottish.
I have the ability to.
I can put on the accent if I want.
And also, my mom doesn't have a very thick Scottish accent.
But you can speak Hindi with an Indian accent.
You can speak with an Indian accent.
You can do better than he's doing.
The guy's not even trying.
He's probably trying a little.
His parents would talk. I know nothing about
his story. Keep going with this fucking
wink.
Can you say that?
I don't know.
He just discovered a slur.
Wherever you went, because you spoke
differently? Of course.
In local schools, only a blonde person. That's funny. Wherever you went, because you spoke differently? Of course. In local schools, only blonde person hard to do anything.
Always stand out.
China, same thing.
They call me Jing Fa.
Jing Fa, golden hair.
Golden hair.
Can you speak Mandarin?
Yeah, I can.
Do you still use it these days to get stuff?
Of course.
Ooh, not bad.
So Tyler, if you ever go to a hawker centre, I'm sure you speak in your winglish.
Are they ever surprised?
I'm like, I'm very powerful.
You used to live in the Japanese, like in a HDB heartland right?
So how was it like, you know, with neighbours and all that?
Yeah lah, the first year they didn't talk to us, then after a while they start, you know, talking, saying hi, go down to the bunker center. They say hi.
But then we found out they knew a lot about us.
It was scary.
They knew where we were from.
They knew how long we had come from China.
They're like, whoa.
So what is this?
The gossip is just like, my favorite is the elevators.
That's always, you go in, especially if it's like 24, 12th floor down the one.
You got a long time. Okay. Pause. i'm so glad we got to this part because i want to say something
if you look at the titles as singaporean white boy this is how they speak english in singapore
when we were in singapore english is the language of singapore yeah yeah yeah okay so the english is is spoken with this asian accent
they speak it fluently with the accent right like and that is their first language like obviously
they'll have first language at home maybe your family's indian so you speak hindi or your family's
chinese you speak chinese but when you're taught in school you were taught singaporean english
so they speak like that when
they're talking to one another it's like their australian accent but it's just their singaporean
accent it just so happens to be asian so that is how he speaks but he can also speak like a regular
fucking white guy as well but that made way more sense to me because i would die laughing when i
was in singapore because their first there were people that only spoke english they're asians
that only spoke english with that accent you hear an asian speak english with that accent you're
like oh you got some chinese some japanese some korean something else is on deck but there was
motherfuckers that were like i don't speak none of that i just speak like i don't know any languages
yeah yeah isn't that crazy yeah it's not there was a hilarious comic
jim i think his name was yeah and he spoke chinese and shit but didn't speak any chinese
couldn't speak chinese but he spoke with a super thick asian accent on his english and it was like
you're in no man's land yeah you can't speak the language that your accent dictates that you should
be able to and you're fluent in english but the
average person speaking to you is like this guy don't even speak there's kids in india that go
to schools where they speak english and the parents will only teach them english and they
think that they're like gonna fit in better when they get here and it's like no you're not because
you're still gonna speak with an indian accent you're gonna speak english with a hindi accent
so it's we're not gonna look at you like the same but do they at least have hindi as a background
like some kids don't see that's crazy and then my my cousin was telling me we'll
laugh at those kids like we make fun of them like they think they're superior and we're like y'all
are losers yeah because you still don't fit in with them yeah i mean that was i loved how he just
did that straight face to those two asians that was that was a real moment yeah that was but also
that's his culture that's what he knows that's how he grew up speaking. Yeah. Golden hen, baby. The golden motherfucking hair.
Golden hen.
Golden hair.
I thought they said golden hen.
Why would they say golden hen?
Uh-oh.
He just has blonde hair, dude.
I thought that's what he said.
What did you think golden hen meant?
I don't know.
I thought it was like a term they used over there.
I don't know.
The year of the chicken?
I don't fucking know.
This guy's a real racist, dude.
All right.
I'm going to challenge you.
Okay.
I'm going to show you one 10-second video.
If you laugh, you owe me $1,000.
Okay.
Akash, if you laugh...
If I don't laugh, what do you owe me?
Yeah.
$100.
Are you in on this?
I mean, fine.
For the fucking show, I'll be in on this.
I'd suck dick, though.
Let's go.
Hal, you want this or not?
Terrible value I'm getting getting i see what it is
as an indian this bothers me this deal come on bro don't you're not allowed you're not allowed
stop what is considered a laugh stop no what is considered a laugh on my explore page earlier
what is uh you're not allowed to laugh not only if you laugh do you owe me a thousand dollars also
your career might be over because it's very offensive what is considered a laugh not only if you laugh do you owe me a thousand dollars also your career might be over because it's very offensive what is considered a laugh me just smiling do a
few different laughs that's a laugh okay that's a laugh done yeah you can't look away you can't
just go just go just go just go come on this is serious do a smile do a smile that that counts
no it doesn't i'm allowed to smile. You said laugh. You said laugh.
Fuck.
Go.
Smile because he's a joyous person.
Press play.
All right, ready?
It's also 11 seconds.
I only have to get through 10.
That's a good point.
That's true.
All right.
Dave Pate sings Lifestyle by Young Thug.
Look.
Look.
Look.
I made all 11 all my hundreds
holy shit
holy shit I made all 11, all my hundreds. Holy shit.
Holy shit.
The first one was the hardest.
The first one.
What did you start?
The daddy, the diva, the dad.
Yo.
Oh, no. When I saw the screen, I was like, nope.
I'm laughing before you open his mouth, bro.
Oh, my God.
I did not know this whole time Cosby been impersonating a motherfucker with down fill.
That's crazy.
Oh, my God.
That was crazy.
That's a tough one, huh?
Okay.
Give me that again.
Give me that again.
You want the same treatment?
You want to run it back?
Yeah.
All right.
Go.
Hit it.
It's from the beginning, though.
I wish they had more of the music leaded up to it.
No, I like how it just comes straight out.
Here we go.
Do you want to put anything on this one, or do you just want to enjoy it?
No, no, let me enjoy it.
Get that shit, boy! Get that shit, boy! He's kind of rocking that beat, bro. He's rocking that shit, boy.
Get that shit, boy.
He's kind of riding that beat, bro.
He's riding that beat.
It does sound like it.
That's really what the song sounds like.
Nah, he's a beast.
That motherfucker's a beast.
I love this guy.
That motherfucker's a beast.
Shouts.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because I need to get them dicks up.
I need to get them dicks up.
I need to get them dicks up. need to get them dicks up i need to
get them dicks up you're looking foolish you're looking foolish over there dick looking like
gonzo's nose muppet dick you need you can't have a muppet dick and satisfy your girl your side chick
or your uh best friend or your boy you're trying to blow out your boy's
back you got a muppet dick she's just hitting the the anus and then bending that looks crazy
you don't want that to happen hit the anus and bend that's just weird that's not something you
want at all you want to be able to split your boy's shit you know what i mean you want to be
able to pull out and be like oh you had a cheeseburger last night son why don't you tell me
that's the homie.
You know what I'm saying?
Or if it's not, if it's your wife, your girlfriend, your side chick, and you want to do that.
Or if you're a lady that needs something of that real serious delivered, that needs the pounding, that just needs that slap, slap, slap.
You know what I mean?
Balls to box slips.
A lot of you ladies have been asking that.
You know, we see it all the time in the comments. Where do I find a guy that can go balls to box slips probably a guy that knows about the
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You're welcome.
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All right, guys.
Show announcements real quick.
First of all, I have a pretty big announcement later this week about the tour in general.
But the next three weekends, this Thursday through Saturday, I'm going to be in Tacoma,
Washington at the Tacoma Comedy Club.
Come through.
Marky Gagnon will also be there. May 19th through the 21st, I'm going to be in Tacoma, Washington at the Tacoma Comedy Club. Come through. Marky Gagnon will also be there. May 19th
through the 21st, I'm going to be in Michigan,
Holland, Muskegon, and Grand Rapids.
And Austin, I'm
coming to your non-Texas
vegan-ass city
June 3rd and 4th.
Please come through so I can roast you and tell you how you're not
really Texans. All those dates and others
at akashsingh.com.
Get your tickets. Now let's get back to the show.
They're trying to abort the abortion bill.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Not going anywhere.
Why is that?
It's not going anywhere.
Why is that?
Because it's not, bro.
It's a part of the foundation of our society.
Ever since 1973?
Ever since 1973, you could get these scoops, man.
And they're not going to get rid of the scoops.
There's too many jobs on the line.
Do you know what I mean?
All them little baby caskets and shit.
Listen, there's so many people
that would lose their job, right?
Vacuum companies.
Baby caskets.
Sell on Dyson, bro. If you got Dyson, sell.
Dyson is going down, bro.
What else do they do?
They just got the hand dryers at the airport?
I thought that was a urinal.
You wash your hands in the urinal, Mark?
You are a fucking animal, dude.
All I'm trying to say is Dyson needs these scoop scoops, bro.
They're sucking fetis out.
Is it fetuses or feti?
Fetis is definitely not T-I-S. It'd be feti. Fetis. Or fetuses. feet feet eyes is definitely not tis it'd be feed eye feed eyes or fetuses
fetus eyes whatever they're they're sucking fetus eyes out too yeah depending on how developed
they are my point is there's no way in hell that they're reversing this and i don't even think you
should take it seriously don't take it serious hey do what i do do what i do don't take it serious
y'all getting all your panties in a bunch but what if you're a woman you're 20 years old you
got raped and now you're carrying your rapist child yo yo yo yo why do they always go to that
why is it always rape and incest we're not in india
do you know what i'm saying we're in the united states of america you can get an abortion no you
can't yeah you can't no you can't it sounds right you see now you get it son if i lived there i'd
know say again if i lived there i know exactly and we live here in america i know for a fact
they're not reversing it they're not i'm telling you right now everybody you panties bunched panties bunch
panties bunch you're cool you don't have to worry about miles is the least cool at all
but you're good not in them not in them i mean you can't not in them nah you're gonna be able
to get abortions guaranteed in new york you're in, yeah. Yo, but low key, I kind of think that's how it should be.
No, no, no.
Okay, all right.
I'm listening.
The states decide.
The cross on Mark's neck just rose.
He has risen.
No.
It's only legal in New York.
No.
It should be legal in the states that want it.
Only in New York City.
And that's what we got.
The states, bro.
States' rights, man. It's like gambling in Vegas. You only get abortions in New York., and that's what we got. The states, bro. States' rights, man.
It's like gambling in Vegas.
You only get abortions in New York.
That's what happens.
You land at the airport.
You're steamrolling through this?
What's wrong?
It's like guns and shit, bro.
It should just be like guns.
Some places it's legal.
Some places it's not legal.
Well, guns are federally legal everywhere to buy.
Stupid.
It's not legal to take in certain places, and certain guns aren't legal, but they're federally legal. Miles buy. Stupid. It's not legal to take in certain places and certain guns aren't legal,
but they're federally legal.
Miles is shitting on you.
Miles is shitting on you right now.
Scoop, scoop.
Hold on, hold on a second.
I can feel it.
You can feel it, right?
Heat on that mic.
He was in it.
Hold on one second.
Hold on a second.
Do they have like weed dispensaries in places and weed is legal in certain
places?
Yeah.
It's federally illegal. Is weed federally legal?
No.
But they still got the places to sell it?
Yeah, because the federal government isn't
prosecuting on those things.
Yo, you've got the legal right to have those
federally, but put them away.
Put them away.
We out here, baby.
Motherfucker thought he caught me. Motherfucker thought he caught me motherfucker thought he caught me
he had you
he had me on the ropes
you know what I mean
I'm out here bro
could the federal government prosecute the
dispensaries yes they can yeah they did that in California
in like 03 sometimes they pop in sometimes
they don't they haven't done it in a while
and every federal government agency or president has been like, yeah, we're not going to prosecute right now.
Boom.
But they could at any point.
Yeah, they could.
At any point they could.
But motherfuckers are still out there.
Billion dollar industry with weed.
So what I think will happen is them abortion clinics are going to stay popping.
It's going to be even better now because everybody, all the hoes
from around the country are going to come to New York.
It's going to be worse.
Then they're going to have to wait.
They're not going to have to wait.
It's still an appointment.
It's a surgery.
It's not a surgery, bro.
I mean, like, yeah.
You put one of them oxygen masks on and then just
press reverse
That's it
It's oxygen mask reverse
Give me that
Get over here
It doesn't come out their mouth
You don't put it on their mouth son
You put it on the kuchan
You put it on the kuchan
And then you just hit that fucking reverse
I'm being serious
Put it reverse there Put it reverse there They put it on the koochon and then you just hit that fucking reverse, dude. I'm being serious.
Put it in reverse, there.
Put it in reverse, there.
I'll say there's no way in hell that they're going to reverse it.
So what if you had, let's say hypothetically speaking.
Are they reversing it or not?
They're not.
So then we're good.
They're not reversing it.
And even if they do, they're not.
No, I'm telling you guys. If hypothetically speaking let's say it was illegal
in certain states would you guys be against that the majority of the people in that state
don't want it this is a country that yeah but i also have a constitution that was designed so
that states could have the freedom to make their own laws that were not dictated by the federal government would you be okay if certain states were like it's illegal here
but others were like it's legal here in theory i think so but also going reversing a supreme
court decision to me is just kind of crazy already like the supreme court already ruled on this
and then to just go back and say you know what that was wrong of you guys like that that gotta
mean something, right?
Okay, what if?
You could pick this apart probably.
I don't know.
But that's what my gut is saying.
Oh, no, no.
I mean, like,
I think you should always be able to reverse decisions
if they were made incorrectly.
Even Supreme Court?
Well, yeah.
I mean, that's what
the Supreme Court is there for.
Like, it's beautiful.
The beautiful thing
about our justice system
is it's malleable
and you can change
with new information,
new ideas, new people.
Yeah, but it's so much
based on precedent, typically.
Yeah, 100%. Precedent dict on precedent, typically. Yeah, 100%.
Precedent dictates law, usually.
I'm curious as to what the precedent was to prove that it wasn't a life.
Like, how did they come to that?
It was the right to privacy.
So it wasn't whether you could do it or not.
They were like, yo, you don't got to share this information.
Yeah, so it was a right to privacy thing.
Which is also valid.
Yeah, it wasn't a life or not it was that you had the right to privacy to
i think it was under like medical oh uh what is that hipa yeah yeah pre-hipa but yeah
no no i believe it because i also i'm pro-choice but i think life begins at conception i just think
if your parents don't want you before you have enough life to like have feelings and thoughts that's interesting yeah i don't know if it's yeah yeah
i mean i guess that is when life begins you're saying you're okay with life beginning at
conception but you're still like yo we got a little time to see if yeah i'm pro-choice if
if the mom doesn't want you i think that that's before you were a fully formed person.
Living that life a lot of times is probably awful.
What about dad's pro-choice?
We don't ever talk about that.
I think you should have some say, yeah.
End of the day, it's not your final decision,
but hell yeah, you should have input.
But what if you make it so you have final decision
is rock, paper, scissors?
I think a lot of guys are going to choose scissors,
to be honest.
I think you're right about that. I'm just saying. And if that don't work, paper, scissors. I think a lot of guys are going to choose scissors to be honest. I think you're right about that.
I'm just saying.
If that don't work, then a rock.
Holy shit, dog.
Holy shit.
This guy is
experienced.
Al, what do you think?
What is your opinion on going to the clinic?
You know what I'm saying?
You was keeping them clinics open.
This is your conscience.
Answer correctly.
You think people are walking to clinics like,
let me get the Alex media.
Like it's a Subway sandwich.
That's crazy.
Yo, let me get the Alex scoop.
Oh, my God.
Fuck.
Okay, yo, go out.
Go out.
I know you're sweating.
You got a leather on and everything.
Come on.
Let's go.
Fuck.
Oh, man.
Nah, it's fucked up.
That's when I believe in pro choice.
You're pro.
We know.
So what do we do, guys?
Nothing's going to happen.
It's just people talking, bro.
It's going to happen.
It's just people talking.
It's just people.
Just Supreme Court justice.
It's people talking, bro.
You do this shit all the time.
I know.
Nah, bro.
Hey, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch.
It's people talking.
What happens if it gets overturned?
What are you willing to do?
I will do a video where it's I'm on one side and then the kid living the lifestyle.
He's on the other side and I'll do the duet with him.
I'll do a duet on TikTok.
If it gets overturned. If it gets overturned. I'll do that with him. Oh, that's good. That other side and I'll do the duet with him. I'll do a duet on TikTok. If it gets overturned.
If it gets overturned.
I'll do that with him.
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
I'll do that.
He didn't say, you know, he brought up Singapore.
I remember in Singapore, this guy that was taking us around, what was his name?
Hezra?
Hezra or something like that.
He was like, yo, what's up with Trump?
It was like 2015.
Is he going to win?
And it was like, Trump not going to fucking win, yo.
This is so dumb that y'all even bring this up.
Nothing going to happen.
Trump not going to win. I was like, not gonna you're being ridiculous I was
like come on they got the TV star like I literally said that and I thought it was
probably even more exactly like that's just fun just enjoy it no big deal but
this is different storm the capital we're all watching and we're like man
this is crazy yeah Schultz walks in
and goes
why are you guys
watching this shit
it means nothing
I was right though
I was right
they didn't do nothing
and it didn't mean nothing
I was right
what I'm trying to say
this Roe v. Wade shit
is the same thing
he runs by the next day
and it's like
this is treason
kill all of them
I also felt that way
I also felt that way
you know what I mean
you can have a lot of different feelings.
I'm sure people struggle with these feelings and these decisions.
These ladies who are upset about these abortions probably know that.
It's not 100% that they want to get that thing just lozenge out of them.
What?
Oh, my God.
What, Mark?
What?
What?
We need to go protest.
Why don't they use the Ricola thing to get them out?
Why don't they just put that at the end?
Why don't they put that at the end?
Why don't they do that?
Why aren't there just other techniques that we're not aware of?
Oh, my God.
You just hit them with a Ricola.
Like, recall it.
Do you know what I mean? Why don't they do that ever we should
protest you guys don't even care about women's bodies bro you don't even care about women's
bodies women's bodies are weird dude huh yeah i didn't yes we agree they're weird but at the same
time like we have to support them to do what they want with their bodies there we go do you know what i mean there we go like yeah if if women like i'm not gonna be the
guy that's on a podcast talking about like you know women shouldn't be able to kill sperm bro
like y'all need to kill all the sperm y'all want whether it's fertilized or not yeah do you know
what i'm saying i'm gonna come out here and be like yo you can't just suck that thing out but at the same time it's like i'm a proponent of
sucking it out do you know what i'm saying i'm not gonna be a hypocrite i support women do you
know what you're talking about right now no i support women you guys don't support women oh
we support do you support i don't know do you support women yeah yeah and how do you support women do you support women yeah yeah and how do you support them uh i support
them i think that a they should suck it out more but also they should be able to get it sucked out
federally across every state i agree with you i agree with you now what if certain states were
like they can only suck out some uh i think it should be federally mandated. Honestly, I look at it as
to be boring and not fun. I look at it as
a medical
thing.
Government state over here, bro.
Yeah.
Uncle Sam to make all the decisions.
Why is it only rape and incest
are the decisions that we
go, okay, I understand.
There's no other ones where it's
like okay i understand what if the dude's ugly what if you're trying to prove a point
what if you have a vacation coming up
there's not other circumstances that are like a little wild it's all legitimate bro i got a cruise
yeah i can't be looking crazy with stretch marks and shit. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what's the rape and incest thing?
What's the rape and incest rule?
Like, why is that?
Why did everybody unanimously just go, we agree?
You shouldn't have to have the baby.
Those are like egregious.
Yeah.
But it's like.
Those are already. Those are already crimes.
But if the rule is you're killing a baby, why are you allowed to kill a baby still?
Talk to him, Schultz.
I'm just saying.
I got questions from my right wing people.
I got questions from my right wing people.
All of a sudden, you're malleable.
You're deciding when you can or can't kill somebody.
Now, we all agree those situations are horrible, but you're deciding when a life can end.
So why can't these women decide when a life can
end you know what i'm saying if you if you're your right wing big anti-abortion blah blah blah
but you're still like okay rape and incest you could kill a baby who the fuck are you yeah and
what to decide when an innocent because the baby innocent baby ain't do it oh baby ain't do the
incest baby ain't do the rape so you still killing an innocent you're talking about all these
innocents yeah why are you okay with that?
But then a woman can't decide when she wants to kill an innocent.
Yeah, and what if your cousin's hot as fuck?
Facts, bro.
Then what?
Then what?
Then you can't come out singing the lifestyle.
You don't want that?
You don't want that?
Doctors listen to the pussies like, is that Young Thug in there?
What is happening?
But that is a serious question i have why are they cool a lot of southern states aren't cool
with that either yeah honestly i respect that line of reasoning more and if it's second cousin
you're fine get 100 but like third third but like i do i do respect that that reasoning a little bit
more because it's consistent you're like the baby didn't do nothing and it's killing a baby.
We out of here.
Right.
But like having these little caveats, you're basically saying it's okay to kill a baby
when it's inconvenient to, and inconvenient is the, I'm being whatever, but like when
it's incredibly painful to the mother.
Yeah.
Why can't the mother also decide when a baby is incredibly inconvenient, painful to the mother yeah why can't the mother also decide yeah when a baby is incredibly inconvenient
painful to the mother and she's stuck in a washing machine and she's like oh help me get
not stuck anymore i'm like cousin what are you doing in the washing machine
what yeah what's going on is he doing his florida thing what's happening right now son
yo we were solving abortion before you started talking about we're all talking about incest a little is this a rick and morty thing is this spongebob how do we understand she's trying
to throw you off because you're making a case for abortion right now i'm making a case but he don't
want it bro yeah i'm just trying to say why can't women decide when determining our maybe women just
got to keep it a buck maybe women just got to go yeah we killing them motherfuckers and what
yep and it's ours and we get to decide if we want to do it or buck. Maybe women just got to go, yeah, we're killing them motherfuckers. And what? Yep.
And it's ours when we get to decide if we want to do it or not.
And if women say that, what you going to say to them?
That's illegal.
That's true.
Yep.
But Roe, which was it, Roe or Wade?
I think Roe wanted the abortion.
And then Wade?
And Wade was like, nah.
Hater.
Yeah, right?
It's the haters, yo.
Haters, bro.
I think Wade was the kid.
Nah.
Was he really?
And Ro was the mom.
Ro won that decision for real, dude.
No, I'm pretty sure she actually had the kid.
Oh, she did?
Yeah.
And then?
I think she gave it up for adoption, I think.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I was like, it was just a weird thing.
I think I might have stumbled across a point, guys. I think I might have stumbled yeah. Yeah. I was just a weird thing. I think I might have
stumbled across a point guys.
I think I might have
stumbled across a point.
Why don't we just
all acknowledge
yeah it's killing some shit.
It's terminating some shit.
We can just acknowledge that.
Yeah.
But why the fuck
do you get to decide
when the women can terminate it
and why can't they?
They're the ones
who it affects the most.
Great point.
Let the women decide.
All on your own.
Yo.
That's it. Nobody ever thought of that before me nobody thought of that
you said that maybe but would you say it in english mostly mostly in english who's protecting
who's speaking up for the unborn baby oh give me get those who's speaking up for the unborn they
don't get to speak yet bro babies can't even speak so they're like two or three say again it's like
people protect like animals that they can't who not me yeah but they protect certain animals
i don't hear them complaining when you step on an ant or kill a fly low-key if if fetuses were
delicious bro you're a tomahawk bro i'm just saying bro if fetuses were delicious bro you get that view
that fresh fresh nobody would have an issue with this
what's caviar that's just that's just fish abortions
we love caviar i don't think they're are a lot. We love caviar. It's the best thing ever. That's just fish and board. That's like saying, well, if you eat beef, why don't you just eat human?
Yeah.
It's markedly different.
Yeah.
Yeah, there is some marketing going into this.
We can't eat humans?
You don't eat pussy?
You're doing a good job there.
You don't eat pussy, bro?
I don't chew on it.
Say again?
I don't chew on it.
All right, fine.
It's a froze pop.
If they make a fetus froze pop.
How's that better?
Why is that better? It's like a gobst froze pop how's that better why is that it's like a
gobstopper also caviar is it's a everlasting caviar is unfertilized yeah it's unfertilized
it's like a chicken egg it's like a chicken egg yeah you knew that out right you just googled it
i saw you just put your phone down what you see what you see read it though right you just don't
like facts let me see your phone down yo You want to know what happens in Doctor Strange 2?
I thought I seen it already.
This guy's
just a life ruiner.
This guy's a dickhead.
You must be...
You were saying
eating fetuses? Go ahead.
I'm just saying. Y'all never ate a fetus.
Y'all never ate a fetus.
You don't know if it's delicious or not. You've never eaten a human being. You don't know if it's delicious or not. It seems gross. But would you though if you had the option to never ate a fetus y'all never ate a fetus you don't know if it's delicious or not you've never eaten human being you don't know if it's delicious or not it seems gross but would
you though if you had the option to eat not a fetus but just a regular human being let's say
you go to a restaurant in some other country and they're like hey we have like a little off menu
item one bite human flesh do you do it yeah you would yeah yeah what color what race yeah yeah
who's the human what race it's like medium rare i guess what race
well it depends where you are clearly i'm assuming maybe it's important yeah it might
be important i don't know let's just say argentinian what would taste the best you
wouldn't be argentinian southern white hawaiian is that a question it's a cow it's it's it's a mixture of it's it's like the big
it's a big meaty human but it's also got the fat around it for the flavor it's hawaiian so you
thought about this it's hawaiian i mean those legs those big thick legs and the thick calves
like the hawaiian chicks have the security guard those good feet yeah i'm just telling you yeah
a hundred percent a little
sweet all the pineapple all the time oh without a doubt you would only eat the feet of a person i
swear no i'd hold it by the foot no he'd eat the chitlins bro i think i might eat feet i might eat
feet i actually i might eat feet i really would a hundred percent i would
yeah it's getting weird i'm glad we solved it.
Yeah, I think we solved abortions.
Yeah, dude.
So nothing will happen, I promise you,
and you don't have to worry about anything,
and people are just going to yell about it for another month,
and then it'll be done.
Lifestyle.
Yeah, you're off on this, but it's cool.
We'll see.
We'll see.
You really think America's not going to have abortion?
I think we're going to revisit this in about a month.
Yeah.
And then?
And then you'll just have a new take?
I've never done that.
All right, guys.
This has been another episode of Flagrant 2.
And guys, only one regular episode this week.
Obviously, we got Patreon.
Patreon.com slash Flagrant 2.
Join the asshole army.
But yeah, we got a couple things you know cooking this week so
we will get back to you next week if not see you before that on patreon we love you we appreciate
you peace