Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Ricky Gervais Jokes Transphobic & Homophobic?!

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

Ricky Gervais new special has ignited an old free speech debate... can transgender jokes be funny? INDULGE! #TrendingNow 0:25 - Akaash's Chairgate 6:32 - old gay priest 19:36 - Kelly Anne Conway 43...:30 - Ricky Gervais' jokes 1:12:00 - Schulz' upcoming vacation

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What about this person isn't a lady? Well, his penis. Her penis, you fucking bigot. It's funny. It's funny. Objectively, from a joke writing standpoint, it's good. Let's start it out. Feelings, no facts.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Should Akash have his own chair? Go. You motherfuckers, bro. Why are we getting so much hate? Like, we're not thoughtful about things. You don't think that we have multiple fucking setups? You don't think that this ended up being the one that fits the space the best? Assholes.
Starting point is 00:00:36 I think they want us to eat our snack stuff. Say what? We have three fucking couches. I spent half of the money that I own on Crate and Barrel and CB2. Say again? What do I slap when something is funny? Mark's thigh? That's too hard.
Starting point is 00:00:49 That shit is. It's flammable, though. It's not soft like a chair cushion. Okay, they're going to be furious when we have a guest and Alex is back at the booth with Miles. And it's somehow going to be my fucking fault. They've never seen the booth, either. Those little fucking dicks, say again? They've never seen the booth, either.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Oh, that's right. No, maybe they... No, seen the booth either. Those little fucking dicks, again. They've never seen the booth either. Yeah. Oh, that's right. No, maybe they, no, yeah, they did. No? No. Okay, fair enough. What if when we have a guest, we can just put Al with the plants like a shirt?
Starting point is 00:01:11 That'd be fine. We could just pop you back there. Is that, is that good? I feel like that's kind of where you belong. Like, you'd be blending in perfectly. Oh, did you hear? That's where you belong. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:01:19 Are you saying he should be in, like, the forest or something? What are you trying to say? He belongs. Why a forest? Wait, why would you, why should he belong with the plants? Why should he go there? Don't do that. Why would he go something? What are you trying to say? He belongs. Why a forest? Why should he belong? Why should he go there? Don't do that. Why should he go there?
Starting point is 00:01:28 Why should he go there? Why should he go there? I'm going to go there. The fingers! Now I know! The fingers! That shit. Yo, that shit.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Yo, I've never got a cow bite. You never got a cow bite in his life. He likes it. That shit turned him on, dog. Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing? That's not a normal person response. That's dad shit, yo.
Starting point is 00:01:50 What? The cow bite. Really? Way to rub it in. Fucking God. I know. What's wrong with him? Fucking God.
Starting point is 00:01:58 You don't want this on the couch? Y'all don't want this on the couch? You don't want to be able to see that? Okay. It's God, bro. How's dressed like a couch? Jeez, that's perfect, bro. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Uh-oh. We can take that off the couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we're going to put that in the fucking booth. You bomb, you go to the fucking booth. Exactly. That's what it's going to be. These motherfuckers.
Starting point is 00:02:17 So angry, bro. This is what fits the space. There's another setup that we have that when we have two guests, Akash's seat is here. In a chair. In a whole chair. A chair. Right? And Al and is Al. If it's two guests, I'm out.
Starting point is 00:02:36 You're out. You're in there. Even one guest, you're in there. I thought one guest or whatever. What if we have five guests then? Then what? We don't have five guests. But what if? We don't. But it could happen.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Barstools lined up behind you. Oh. Yeah. The Nick Cannon show. The Nick Cannon show where they have the bleachers of people. Anyway, so that's what it is. How do you feel? Are you scorned?
Starting point is 00:03:02 I'm scorned. I'm incredibly scorned. Yeah. I'm resentful. The last time my gosh was on a couch getting interviewed, it was not good. I think that's why. It's PTSD. Is that what it is?
Starting point is 00:03:15 Why are you bringing up this trauma for me? If you were in a chair, it wouldn't have happened, dude. If you were in a chair, she would have been feeling you. Now, I will say this. Don't you, not appreciate, don't you think that this arrangement is better because now you can at least see the guys? Yeah, before I was just guessing what Mark was saying. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Like, you wouldn't know when they were going to talk. No, never. And now it's like... Me and Al were talking mad shit. You guys didn't know that. No, you weren't talking shit, but I imagine you have a line you're about to say and then someone behind you just says something
Starting point is 00:03:41 and then you have no fucking clue. Look at them talking all that fucking shit. Yeah, we can't do that anymore, bro. Before we could do it. Yeah, but I actually got a little defensive. I didn't comment to anything, but I was seeing the comments. I was like, God damn, bro. I agree.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Now I agree with them. I think we need to bring back two paintings. I think we need to put you guys on different size seats right next to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we need Dove's shitty shoes that look like they're expensive popping into the frame every once in a while. How much are those?
Starting point is 00:04:10 Dove knows how to buy the least expensive, look expensive shit. He's great at that. Dove's like the studio a little bit. This guy's fucking mania. We had to cut something from the main episode. The first thing, I'm like, how do you cut something From the main episode The first thing I'm like
Starting point is 00:04:25 How do you guys feel About the studio The first thing Mark says He just starts trashing The Brooklyn studio And making up lies What lies You go
Starting point is 00:04:33 You go Yeah Well you know Now it's different Before nobody wanted To come out to Brooklyn Why is that a lie You know how many people
Starting point is 00:04:38 I gotta ignore You know how many text messages I get on a regular basis And I just gotta be like Oh yeah about that We'll definitely have you on Insert the video You know how many text messages I get on a regular basis And I just gotta be like Oh yeah about that We'll definitely have you on Insert the media You gotta be text messaging
Starting point is 00:04:47 I gotta say I gotta say Hey ask Andrew I don't really handle the booking Yes Now you can be like I don't even have a seat It's hard out here
Starting point is 00:04:56 Recession It's a recession It's a recession In this economy You know what Fuck it Y'all crazy Oh let's go
Starting point is 00:05:02 Y'all are fucking crazy This is how we do In the episode This is a fun podcast. Come on, come on, come on. What? Come on. There's no space.
Starting point is 00:05:09 White boys fun. Come on. Let me just move over. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Welcome to the June 10th episode. Hold on, hold on. Okay. This is just Oprah now.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Run the app. Yo, is it fucked up? No, let him run this app. Yeah, yeah, Al. This is just Oprah now. Run the app. Yo, is it fucked up? No, let him run this app. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is when Oprah interviewed Tom Cruise. Can you let him run this? He's got it. Stop bailing him out.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Nice, bro. Yeah, you like that? Yeah, it's a little nice. That'll say something funny. Yeah, I don't got nothing to go with. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't get paid a big buck.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Topics. Come on, Al. Let's go. Topics. Rapper dead. I'm terrified against that. Get up to the end of. Come on, Hal. Let's go. Rapper dead. Take the fight against it. Get up to the end of the fucking couch, bro.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Can we all just... No, Mark's running it. No, come here, come here. Everybody, can we just do the episode here? This is the fun game. Do the episode here. Come on.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Mark, just be here so we can all be together. Come on. Okay. No, you don't. Can we just leave that alone? Is that possible? Which camera are we in? This one and this one. Okay, listen. No, you don't. Can we just leave that alone? Is that possible? Which camera are we in?
Starting point is 00:06:05 This one and this one. Okay. Listen. So here's the thing. Is everybody happier? Is this a more comfortable situation? I'm cozy. I'm not going to lie.
Starting point is 00:06:12 This couch is fire, bro. It's cozy. I know. That's the person he said. He sat in here. He was like, man, this couch is really nice. This couch is kind of nice, bro. This might be the new podcast setup.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Yeah. Fuck it. We bring on a guest. They interview us. Yo. What do you want to know? Talk to your boys. Talk to your boys, bro. guest. They interview us. Yo! What do you want to know? Talk to your boys! Talk to your boys, bro.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Okay, so what do we got today? Let's do some feelings, no facts. Yes, feelings, no facts. Okay, what about this priest that's now doing porn, dicking down? Wait, really? Yeah, bro.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Yo, yo, not just, I don't think it's just porn because he also came out as gay. So I would assume this is gay porn. He's right. He's right. Derek?
Starting point is 00:06:43 Yeah, huh? Yo, son. How is Derek posting gadgets? Y'all did it first. I didn't hear. Y'all did it first. How is Derek posting gadgets? What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:06:54 What are you doing? We hung out with him every weekend. You didn't have any of that same energy when he was there. Was this on podcast? No, we were on pod. No, I mean. You got a pink hat. Calling guys gay.
Starting point is 00:07:04 Before, when y'all were calling him bi, was that on podcast or on podcast? Where was that? That was Akash calling him bi. I think y'all. Look, Derek, I just have a question. If you're not. What if I just kiss Akash right now? I'm like, Derek, it's okay.
Starting point is 00:07:20 But I'm gay. I'm openly gay. Derek, we miss you. We love you. And we need you back, gay. Derek, we miss you. We love you. And we need you back, Derek. Derek, we need you back. I'll see you June 3rd and 4th. He's really going to stay here the whole episode, huh?
Starting point is 00:07:32 He's really going to stay here. I refuse to have my boys slandered. No, you just thought it was having so much more fun. That's what it was. This side is fire. We made a fucking decision that fit the space well. We knew there was going to have some scrutiny, and people are doing a fucking hashtag.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Like we're abusing Akash. Get Akash a seat. It's like, buddy. I'm a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit. You know what? I assume the comments would be slandering the audio.
Starting point is 00:07:58 If they're slandering Andrew, I got to read them. I got to see what's going on. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving. Who asked you to leave? Hey, hey, hey. I'm not leaving leaving Who asked you to leave? Hey, hey, hey I'm not leaving Who asked you to leave?
Starting point is 00:08:10 Nobody tried to kick him out I'm not leaving You left on your own volition I'm not leaving You can stay right here I miss y'all I feel far You don't have what we got over here
Starting point is 00:08:18 It was like 90 degrees Just on my thigh, bro You run You got a hot ass I'm at least 98 degrees Yo Yo Son Come on, Al Guys, let's just be comfortable My thigh, bro. You run, you got a hot ass. I'm at least 98 degrees. Yeah, yo! Yeah, son.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Yo, son. Come on, Al. Guys, let's just be comfortable, bro. Can't we just be comfortable? Let's just be comfortable, bro. All right, bro, duh. Why'd you say 90 degrees like that's a lot, bro? We're all 98. Nah, we at 73, right, though?
Starting point is 00:08:38 Your body temperature's 73? Yo, shut up. What the fuck is this guy talking about? Will you shut up? Oh, Bill Nye. Hey, Bill Shut up. Oh, Bill Nye. Hey, Bill Nye. Hey, Bill Nye. How hot is our body, Bill Nye?
Starting point is 00:08:49 I don't know. I'll take my temperature. Yo, Al, that was wild, dog. That was wild, bro. Are we going? Are you embracing? Are we going? Are we going?
Starting point is 00:09:00 Are we going? Are we going? We're going. It's crazy, son. We didn't bring Al to the fucking couch for him to just chill and do nothing. No.
Starting point is 00:09:09 He don't got his laptop to watch fucking video games and shit during the episode. So now he actually got to contribute. He's a wild-ass boy. Oh, my God. I didn't know Al was a priest.
Starting point is 00:09:17 So tell us about this, Al. What we got? Al, yo, Al too pro-abortion to be a priest, dog. Come on, let's be honest. So apparently this dude He just bounced from the game He's like, yeah, I'm slinging dick now
Starting point is 00:09:29 Serving up dick He said he doesn't Yo, Mark's Catholic eyes are so tight, bro It always is, yeah Always? Always It has to be Or else I'm gay.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Nah, he made it so close to heaven. He must have stopped believing, bro. Oh, yeah. I mean, he had to stop believing, right? He's that close. He's 97 years old. He rides that belief out. He goes to heaven.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Yep. Oh, wow. Right? Like, you're right there. Wow. He's 83. He's 83. He can switch back. Damn. He's an old 83. He might be doing a room springer. Nah, but you right there. Wow. He's 83. He's 83. He can switch back.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Damn, he's an old 83. He might be doing the wrong springer. Nah, but you can beg for forgiveness. Yo, that's a big Catholic loophole. You want to talk
Starting point is 00:10:11 about loopholes? You do whatever you want to and then right before you just be like, yo, you know what? I feel bad. You don't got that? Nah.
Starting point is 00:10:17 What happens when you and your friends rape a lizard? Oh, my God. Damn. You get some bad karma, that's it. You better be careful
Starting point is 00:10:24 dressing like that around him. Yeah, for real. I'm about to take that down. He's about to take that down. You can have it. You can have it. Don't talk to me dirty, Al. Don't talk to me dirty, bro.
Starting point is 00:10:38 I see your chest poking out. You know what I'm saying? Al out here in the fucking gym, bro. I'm butting one more. Is that not a thing in Hindu? That you can't just ask for forgiveness and get it? Hinduism? Not Hinduism.
Starting point is 00:10:49 That's like me saying, is that a thing in Catholic? It is. It is a thing in Catholic. If you are fucked up and you do something bad. No, you get bad karma, that's it. Build up a karmic debt. But you can beat that karmic debt by doing something good, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Like good karma outweighs bad karma. Yeah. Well, it's the same. What's your karmic debt by doing something good, right? Yeah. Like good karma outweighs bad karma. Yeah. Well, it's the same. What's your karma credit score right now? Yeah. How do you know? I don't know, man. I thought it was pretty good until I was sitting next to y'all on a couch.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Now who the fuck knows? You know what I mean? Yeah, it was your fault. Yeah. Maybe it's karma. That's a good point. This is karma. Hindus get gaslit so much, bro.
Starting point is 00:11:27 He's the guy with the big trunk. You can dance, bro. I can dance, bro. You fucking asshole. Hey, you fucking asshole, Alex. Hindus get gaslit. If anything bad happens to you, it's karma. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 00:11:41 So if any bad shit happens over here, if any bad shit happens, that's on you. It is. So if any bad shit happens over here, if any bad shit happens, that's on you. It is. So if any shit happens, it's like, yeah, I fucked up. Yeah, I hear you. I'm going to punch you in the leg.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Do you want a knuckle sandwich? You want a knuckle sandwich, dude? I don't know what's going on. I'm going to punch you in the leg. It's like, don't be violent to me. No, I'm trying to be serious and make an interesting point about religion and culture,
Starting point is 00:12:03 and Andrew doesn't want to hear it. Man. He's just trying to be a scoundrel. I swear to God, bro. He's trying to be a scoundrel right now. I swear to God. He looks like he's about to go bowling right now. Somebody just bowled a perfect game.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Dude, he just robbed the picnic table. What is his whole fix? This is crazy. What happened? He just bowled a perfect game. Don't ever disrespect me acting like you didn't just get a turkey. Okay, but for real,
Starting point is 00:12:34 can we have a conversation? Yes. All right. We're trying to be serious. You just upset... Oh, my bad. I'm fucking up the mic already. Instead of having an aneurysm.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Did I spit on myself? You've had spit on your chin for 20 minutes. Bro. You just upset... Oh, my bad. I'm fucking up the mic already. Instead of having an aneurysm out there. Spit on yourself, too. Did I spit on myself? You've had spit on your chin for 20 minutes. Bro. This guy's crazy. Yo, you know what's crazy? Tell me something. To lubricate a vagina wall.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I don't ever spit on my hand. I thought you were going to end it there. I take saliva sometimes to get my fingers wet. I don't ever just go my hand. I thought you were going to end it there. I take saliva sometimes to get my fingers wet. I don't ever just go, because that seems rude. Yeah, I don't want to disrespect myself. Right, though? That's not the one I'm trying to disrespect. Oh, it's disrespectful to me.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah, why would I do such a thing to myself? Yeah, I didn't think about that. I just thought the act of like spitting is so like. Really? Vulgar. You little vanilla bitch. I know. I treat that pussy like a 90s handshake, bro.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Yeah, it's like, put it there. A 90s handshake? Yeah, bro. How fucking old do you think the 90s is, bro? That's our best friend's handshake in the 90s. You just dissed us just now. That's a 90s handshake. This guy's a real asshole.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Yeah. He's a young asshole. Like, we was walking around in the 90s. I was 18. I'm walking around at 18 years old, spitting on was walking around in the 90s. I was 18. I'm walking around at 18 years old spitting on my hands shaking hands
Starting point is 00:13:49 with people making data. We had cell phones. Yes, if you watch a 90s movie, that's how they all handshake. It's not standing by me, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:13:53 This is Rookie of the Year. 90s movies about the 40s. Yeah. Oh, okay. Fucking idiot. So how old are you guys? Rookie of the Year? Anybody's fucking shaking.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Did you only watch Disney movies, by the way? I was a kid in the 90s. Yes. I was not watching. I was watching.? I was a kid in the 90s, yes. I was not watching Eyes Wide Open. You weren't a kid until 97, bro. What are you talking about? Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:14:10 That's my point. I wasn't watching fucking all your old movies and shit in the 90s. They be hating, bro. They hate us, but they want to be us, bro. That's what it is. You're wearing 90s sneakers. You're wearing an old retro jersey. You're wearing the best war ever pants.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Which one? That's Viet, right? This is? Oh, maybe. You're wearing the best war ever pants. Which one? That's Viet, right? This is? Oh, maybe. I don't know. Which camel pants gone in and out of style three different times. That's true. To save fit.
Starting point is 00:14:33 No, we switch up. Yo, what are you trying to be camouflaged from with your shirt? Women? What? That was good, though. When I just met you at the set. Real talk, bro. Do you cut my hair?
Starting point is 00:14:48 Yeah, it's doing that one. It's doing that one, bro. I just don't get it. Sorry, Alex. Is that a test to your point? I know, I just hit my own father by accident, bro. But he looks like my gay Cuban one before Alex. I had a gay Cuban one.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Oh, that's a reference we'll all get. Yes, yes. He explained it in many words. I'm going to the dugout, bro. I'm going to the dugout. I'm going to the dugout. I want to see him on a comedy show. Slide it down.
Starting point is 00:15:16 I want to see him on a comedy show. Slide it down. I'm going to the fucking dugout. I got to start it over. All right, let's go Bro Shows that a Comedy Central Rose would be legendary
Starting point is 00:15:28 This guy looks like my uncle You guys know my uncle Right? This is my conscience Oh my god Okay Guys What are we talking about?
Starting point is 00:15:42 Damn Al Come on son I be running hot bro It's soaking wet I run hot You sweat? Okay, guys, what are we talking about? Damn, Al. Come on, son. I be running hot, bro. It's soaking wet. I run hot. You sweat? I be telling you. He's been complaining about the temperature since he got here.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yes. Literally since he sat down. He's like dove about everything else. I'm running hot, bro. Just constant complaining. Yo. But only about temperature. Yeah, this is crazy, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:02 See? Okay. Should I buy a backup couch? Huh? Should I buy a backup couch? Huh? Should I buy another couch? Oh, we have three more in the other room. Yeah, what are you doing with those? What are you doing with those?
Starting point is 00:16:12 What are you doing with those? Stop it. Al already robbed the other one, bro. He's taking sound panels. I know. I got a message from Wheezy. Thank you so much for the sound panels. I was like, uh.
Starting point is 00:16:21 You're welcome. I got it. Maybe I can take it. I was wondering why Al was helpful moving I was like what's happening right now What is this other truck for That's weird Y'all just packing shit up
Starting point is 00:16:31 We did Dove did Dove signed off on it Dove is very giving when it's not his money He almost let me take the water cooler Until I said it I didn't know if it was a subscription-based cooler.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Stop just giving away your money, bro. That's why you called me about the fridge. Yeah. But the funny, the way that you said it was hilarious.
Starting point is 00:16:54 He was like, Al calls me, he goes, this guy is so fucking fake, dude. It's crazy. It's so fucking fake, dude. No, I asked you
Starting point is 00:17:02 the way you asked. It drives him the craziest to be fake. You just got to ask him. He goes, are we taking a fridge? Like that. What does that mean? Are we taking a fridge?
Starting point is 00:17:14 I mean, are you? Because you make the decisions. I'm saying... No, no, no. It's the motherfucking thing. It's not your fault. Thank you. It's not your fault.
Starting point is 00:17:25 That's perfectly reasonable. He's saying, are we It's not your fault. That's perfectly reasonable. He's saying, are we taking it? Shut the fuck up. Yeah, thank you. Shut the fuck up. Thank you. It's so easy. Shut the fuck up at the end, yo.
Starting point is 00:17:34 You don't even know how to fuck about the end. Am I the crust? You call me the crust? You the ass piece of the bread. God damn, bro. I hate y'all motherfuckers. How many phones you got, Al? How many phones?
Starting point is 00:17:44 Yo, Al, no, that's not mine. I got my phone right here. Why do you got two phones? That phone. Just snitches on himself. That's his phone. It is your phone? No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Now he's sweating, though. Everything good? He's sweating, too. Look at you. He's like, get out of here. Yo, yo, yo. I quit. Not with that white boy shit.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Yo, come in, get your dick stuck. Yo, come in right now, get your dick stuck. Stop playing, bro. You need to stop playing. Come in, son. Come in. I wish Al had a dick on his arm, bro. Come on, son.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Come on. Yo, Al wants a dick. That's some girl shit. No, I can control tickle. Tickle issue. I can control it. You can control it? You can't control your arm. All right, let's your dick. That's some girl shit. No, I can control tiglish. I can control it. You can control it? You can't control your... All right, let's find out.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Let's find out. Let's find out. Go control tiglish. Go. All right, ready? Go. Get in there. Get in there.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Dig in there, buddy. Yo, this is... Oh, this shit got a lot here. It's like you turned the autism on. Oh, this shit got a lot here. It's like you turned the autism on. Emotions? I've never felt them.
Starting point is 00:18:51 I can turn those on. Never felt emotions. Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah, I can turn it on. Little son of a bitch. Okay, Akash, what are we talking about? What would you like to talk about? You guys heard about Kellyanne Conway?
Starting point is 00:19:01 It's the seat! It's the seat! Yo, I'm telling you. Yo, something about these two ends. Listen, with big seats come big responsibilities. Okay, don't be fucking that shit up. It's fire over here at the end, bro. I'm going to call my wife.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I ain't got no responsibility on this goddamn show anyway. Hey, WTF Media Studio, yeah, you can book that shit. Yeah. Yo, can I take the chair one time for a whole time? Yo, hit that ass. Giddy up, yo. Hit that ass. Giddy up. Okay, what've had to share it one time for a whole time. Yo. Giddy up, yo. Hit that ass. Giddy up.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Okay, what are we talking about? Kellyanne Conway. Okay, what she do? I hit it that time. What she do? Yo, this bitch wrote a book trying to shit on her whole family to look good. Have you guys heard about this?
Starting point is 00:19:40 Why is this so funny? Because it is good. She did a good job. He tried to be serious so bad. Because he did do a good job. No, he did a great job bringing up the topic, but it was something so phony about the way... I'm paying it because I was like,
Starting point is 00:20:01 they didn't read this shit. I'm the only one that read this shit. I thought she retired, Kellyanne Conway, doesn't her daughter? Her daughter openly hates her. And was like exposing her parents. What does a pipe got to do with it?
Starting point is 00:20:11 Yo, that scene is mad far, bro. We need to bring that shit a little closer. We got to relight the whole studio. Yo, we might got to bring that shit a little closer. Yo, she would play the TikToks when her mom's just fucking going nuts. God, see, if I'm not controlling it, I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:20:23 You're not a goose, bro. Let's go. How old is Kellyanne Conway's daughter? In 2021, she was 16. In 2021, she was 16. So now she's 17. Come on, son. Why are you talking about these little girls, bro?
Starting point is 00:20:37 Back it up. Back it up. I didn't say anything sexual. Yo. No, no. You got to go to the dugout. Go there, Mark. Go there, Mark. You got to hit the dugout for that one, boy.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I'm telling you. Sit back down. Go. There you go. That's good. Yeah, but your shoes are dirtier. And you got to tilt your head up because it's reflecting so much. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Yo, Miles. Miles, stop ganging up Miles stop ganging up Miles still homeless cause of you Fuck you He really a piece of shit Wait me? Why? What did you do to be a piece of shit? When Al points it's different
Starting point is 00:21:23 You're a piece of shit? No, when Al points, it's different. Al points at that motherfucker. No, no, no, no. Point, dog. Give him a hard-ass point. You're a piece of shit. You see that? You see that, bro? I would cross the street. I might cross it.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Perhaps, though. Perhaps. You never know. Do you know what I mean? Is this Patreon? Can I tell a story? If it's related to this, yes. Okay, last night I'm talking to Charlamagne, right?
Starting point is 00:21:47 And I'm talking to Charlamagne, and I'm just on, and I have my dog. And we're chilling outside of this building across the street from my building, right? And I'm just leaning up on a building, right? And I got the AirPods in, and my dog's right here. And this guy comes out to take his trash out in front of Billy and he says something. My dog is barking at him
Starting point is 00:22:09 so I just grab my dog's mouth and I go, yeah, sorry, but I'm not really hearing what he said. Then he says something and I think he called me a bitch. This old ass man.
Starting point is 00:22:18 I'm pretty sure he called me, I was like, excuse me? He goes, oh, do you have the time? I go, oh yeah, it's 1130. I put my AirPods back in.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I start walking away, and I hear, bitch. He goes, bitch? And I go, I'm sorry, did you say something? Because I got the AirPods in. I'm talking to Charlotte, right? I go, I'm sorry, did you say something? And he goes, no, no, I was just asking the time. Yo, this guy is hilarious, man.
Starting point is 00:22:42 I go, I was just asking the time. He goes, I just told you the time. That's when I know he said, bitch, I was just asking the time. Yo, this guy is hilarious. I go, I was just asking the time. He goes, I go, I just told you the time. That's when I know he said bitch, right? I walk away. I hear him go, bitch, bitch. Because I say, don't say anything to Charlotte. I hear, bitch, bitch. I'm walking halfway down the block.
Starting point is 00:22:58 And I think I lose my mind. And I don't know if my ego, I feel a little vulnerable because Charlotte's on the phone. Some guy's calling me a bitch and I'm not doing nothing. I also have a golden fucking doodle. You know what I mean? Like my masculinity's in check. He's not. It's an old man in front of his building. I'm like a quarter of the way down the block.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I turn around and I get outrun straight for him. Like this, hoofing right at his thing, knowing that he's going to get scared. Where's your dog? With me running. We're both running for this motherfucker and the guy immediately looks at me, goes inside and closes the door to his
Starting point is 00:23:29 thing. And I'm just start cursing. Who's the bitch? I live right across from this guy. I'm going to see him every single day of my life. What? No, no, no. Wait for it. Wait for it. We got to get these guys out the neighborhood. What the fuck, bro? What the fuck is that?
Starting point is 00:23:45 Yeah, you can't take them nowhere, dude. They're violent. They're prone to violent genetics. This is why they say New Yorkers are rude, bro. Like, this shit. Joe, you might be right. No, but Al, you don't understand. I'm not done yet.
Starting point is 00:23:57 I go walk the dog thinking I'm like, yeah, I just told that motherfucker what it is. I come back. He's still outside of his apartment. He's going, bitch. Bitch. I thought he said it from the window. No, back, he's still outside of his apartment going, bitch! Bitch! I thought he said it from the window. No, no, no, no, no. He's still outside. He goes, bitch, and then we just have a fucking back and forth. I actually know someone who lives in his building.
Starting point is 00:24:13 I won't say on his butt, whatever. So, uh, now I got fucking beef with somebody right next door. Why was he calling you a bitch? My boy who lives there that you guys know, my boy that I won't say. No, no, because I was walking the dog. Yeah, and? And then I had to walk back to where I live.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Yeah, but when you came back and he's called your bitch again. You clearly have no problem breaking your route to chase this guy. That's a good-ass point. Wait, what'd I do wrong? Your bitch was confirmed the second time, I think. Yeah, but then I chased him and he went back in his house. And then you came back around. And then he kept saying stuff. And you said he was outside. And you said nothing. No, I started cursing at him and he went back in his house. And then you came back around. And then he kept saying stuff.
Starting point is 00:24:45 And you said he was outside. And you said nothing. No, I started cursing at him and talking and blah, blah, blah. Was he in his window? No, he's like standing in front of the doorway to the building. But the crazy thing is my boy, who lives in it that I'll tell you guys after that you guys all know, told me he's just a wild ass old man. And he sent me security footage.
Starting point is 00:25:04 He's like a wild ass old man And he sent me security footage He's like a racist and shit And he sent me security footage of him just cursing at some dudes That were like delivering shit to the building And then the dudes pulled a fucking United Airlines on him And started beating this motherfucker's ass And they got it on the security camera footage So he's just like an old man Who's like probably a little bit crazy
Starting point is 00:25:20 Probably lived in the building forever For sure crazy For sure mental illness. Had a mask on. What? You look really cool when you tell this story. No, I'm not trying to look cool. It's funny because I don't look cool
Starting point is 00:25:36 because the guys call me a bitch. Yeah, you should have hit him, bro. Really? No. No, dude, he's clearly fucking crazy. Why you chasing him the first time? Well, I just wanted to scare him. That's the crazy part. That's what's crazy.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Because what you could have done is went home. Yeah. He's old. And then not chased after a crazy man. Old, angry, mentally ill fuck. You are a young millionaire. He's 70. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:25:58 This is how mature people deal with stuff like this. You could have killed him. I could have got the meat. Al, Al, you acting like you're Behind a desk right now You're on a couch, dog Handle this shit Like a man on a couch You're not doing nothing, bro
Starting point is 00:26:10 Oh, yes, sir You learned your lesson, bro No, he's getting a slap Open hand slap What if What if when you go to attack him He runs inside? And it was not my intention
Starting point is 00:26:18 To attack him But you wanted him to think You wanted him to think It was your intention It was not my intention To attack was your intention It was not my intention To attack him Okay It was not my intention
Starting point is 00:26:28 To attack him It was in no way My intention You got a nice tit You got a nice tit You got microphones Microphones I ain't going front
Starting point is 00:26:37 Microphone Microphone But that tit had a nice slap to it That felt like butt cheeks I ain't going front That tit felt like butt cheeks Right there bro In that moment I think I realized Al could fuck up Andrew
Starting point is 00:26:48 Close Close quarters If he gets a hold of you Alligator Alligator If I can keep the distance I got a chance But right here just that He's spinning bro
Starting point is 00:27:02 That's a death roll dude It feels far away over there don't it Nah I'm having a great time But right here, just that? He's spinning, bro. He's spinning. That's a death roll, dude. You're getting drowned out. It feels far away over there, don't it? Nah, nah. I'm having a great time. I'll be honest with you. If I'm next to the fucking Komodo dragon. You're having fun, bro.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Bro. Okay. What else are we talking about? Yeah, Mark. All right, hypothetical. Yeah. Would you rather go to jail for something you didn't do Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:26 or have your father go to jail for something that you did? You're asking two of the wrong people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an easy decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:37 Bye, pups. But I couldn't send my dad to jail. No way. Yeah. What would you do? You'd go to jail? For what? For something you didn't do. Whatever it is. Bullshit. No, I'd go to jail. No way. Yeah. What would you do? You'd go to jail? For what? For something you didn't do.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Whatever it is. Bullshit. Nah, I'd go to jail. And I'd run jail. I'd be the king of jail. You wouldn't even let your shorty get first class. You're not fit.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Get the fuck out of here. You're talking about my dad, not my wife. What the fuck are you doing? What is he talking about right now? Andrew's the dude you tell hypotheticals to and he's like,
Starting point is 00:28:01 no, I would go to jail then I'd break out and now I'm out of jail. I would break out of jail. I would break out of jail. I would break out of jail. You can't break out of jail. I could break out of jail. It's hypothetical.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Someone else did it. Who? Someone who probably didn't invent subtitles. In that case. You know what I'm saying? No, no. Some guy broke out of jail. He's probably not even that smart.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Okay. You don't think that we could break out of jail, bro? How would you break out? Oh, did you see the girl that broke the three dudes out? Yes. She was like that. You piped down a CO. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Crazy. Hell yeah. 20-year-old white girl against these three black dudes. Damn, you'd cheat on your wife, dog. To get back to her. God damn. Only time I would cheat on my wife
Starting point is 00:28:36 is to get back to her, bro. Damn, yo. I would fuck dog the bounty hunter's wife. Whoever the CO is. God damn ugly ass COs, bro. All right, now what if it's you go to jail
Starting point is 00:28:45 Okay Something you didn't do Or your girl goes to jail For something you did How long? Shit Cause girl jail ain't that bad Yeah it is not that bad
Starting point is 00:28:54 How long we talking about? They just do each other's hair That's it You get your nails painted You get a girlfriend All of a sudden life is good You're hanging out Low key I feel like
Starting point is 00:29:00 Girls might like prison Low key yes bro 100% Teach me how to use some paws Teach me how to, bro. 100%. Teach me how to use some pulse. Teach me how to use some pulse. Hey, bro, teach me how to use some pulse. Come on, I'll press the buttons. Do some button pressing out here, bro.
Starting point is 00:29:14 You know what I'm saying? This is what it is. Slap. You got butt cheeks on your chest, bro. That shit's easy to get slapped. Don't put me on the couch. I've been doing push-ups, bro. And I do them on my knuckles sometimes. What? Come on, bro. I've been doing push-ups, bro. And I do them on my knuckles
Starting point is 00:29:25 sometimes. What? Come on, bro. I've been trying. I got an offer for you. Okay, go. Would you drive backwards in reverse from New York City to Los Angeles for $1 million? Yeah. The whole way reverse. What? You gotta drive
Starting point is 00:29:41 backwards the whole way. That should be mad annoying, Brian. There's no way he'd do it. What's the $50 million? Is it a million dollars for charity? That would change it if it was a million dollars for charity. $50 million for you. All money is charity.
Starting point is 00:29:55 You can give it to charity. That's not true. Yes, it is. Because all the money I've made, none of it has went to charity. So you can't save it. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Black lives matter. Black lives matter.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Black lives matter. So does Blue Square. Something. Free the farmer. I'm sure your accountant has donated quite a bit. No, we out here donating, bro. Donations.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Donations. Donations. But you can take the money and donate it yourself. I could also flick my clit. Don't. What? There's so many things I could do it yourself. I could also flick my clip Welcome to the Jimmy Pays, baby. My guys love the games. This is my life now.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Okay? That's what you get. You felt that right there? What, you scared of it? Can you fuck up so I can open it? You scared? You little scurvy? Come on, bro.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Move over so I can smell your seat. Yo, move over so I can sniff your fucking seat, bro. Yo, all right, you go, you go. Let's do one more rotation. Okay, one more rotation. Hold on. You are so sweaty, it's unbelievable. We're going to need to buy another couch.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Al's a slug, bro. He's a full slug. He's just fucking slithering around the studio. Dude, he is. Leaving a fucking snail trail. Okay, Al, can you give us a topic? No, you can't. You got it.
Starting point is 00:31:27 What are we talking about? All right, young thong. It's the seat. You're kidding. There's no fucking way, dude. I'm telling you, it's the seat, bro. I haven't loved a word since I moved. It's the seat.
Starting point is 00:31:42 There's no way. It's the seat, bro. There's no way. It's a seat, bro. There's no way. Young Thug? It's a different rapper. Oh, you guys thought I was talking about Young Thug? Yeah, who's Young Thug?
Starting point is 00:31:55 Young Thug. He's like Frito Bang's like co-writer. Do you know Frito Bang? No, dog. Yeah, I know Frito Bang. Of course I know him, bro. If you don't know him, you don't know him. I know Frito Bangs. You know Frito Bangs. Of course I know him, bro. Yo, yo, yo.
Starting point is 00:32:06 If you don't know him, you don't know him. I know Frito Bangs. I know mad songs by him. That's it. Cheese, paper cheese. Come on, son. Frito Bangs got the heads. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:19 Do you remember this? Sell the packs. Sell the packs. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know Frito Bangs. I actually pecs. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know Fredo Banks. I actually know him. I met him.
Starting point is 00:32:29 That's a rapper you made up, I think. No, Fredo, Fredro Banks, man. Fredo Banks? Went to Bronx School of Science? He did. That fucking dork? He did. What kind of nerd-ass rapper are you friends with, bro?
Starting point is 00:32:40 Wait a minute. I didn't go to Bronx School of Science. Where'd you go? I can't believe you forgot what high school I went to. Oh, Baruch. Yeah, I know what high school you went to. Which high school? San Francisco. No, Frisco. Frisco, hey.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Frisco High. Yeah. See, that's how his brain works. Like, he knew he was close to that word. And then I had to get there, yeah. I know you went to Frisco. What did you go to? Bard. Bard High School. Bard High School. You went to Frisco? What did you go to? Bard High School. Bard High School. You went to your living room? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:09 It looked like this, actually. This is what my school was. Is this the motivation? Bet you wish you had a fucking chair, huh? I would have liked that. I would have learned way more. Damn, bro. Motherfuckers shamed us.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Okay, can we please have another topic to discuss with our dear patrons? Yes, I have a video I want to show you, okay? Yeah. If you laugh, you owe me a million dollars. Okay. Okay? And what if I don't laugh?
Starting point is 00:33:36 I'll give you a kiss. All right. Oh, boy. Here we go. Here we go, but we need some volumen on this puss. Yep. You can't laugh the whole video, okay? Understood?
Starting point is 00:33:46 Yeah, I understand it. All right. I need my cuss. You can't laugh either. Hoodie mellow in the corner, son. Yo, son, don't do that, Miles. He looks like a stock image of a hacker, doesn't he? No, he doesn't.
Starting point is 00:33:57 He looks like a pumpkin. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boop. Is that Cinderella when she date cherries? It's a fucking dick, though. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boop. Is that Cinderella when she dates Charizard the fucking thing, though? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boop. Where is that from? That's not Cinderella. I thought they changed it
Starting point is 00:34:10 into a fucking pumpkin. Oh, my bad. Come on, son. I'm sorry, my bad. You can't laugh either. Okay. He's already seen this. I can laugh at this.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Oh, you've seen it too. Man, well, you need to see the guy who's clearly retarded or something. No, no. God damn. Go. All right. Wait, no. Goddamn. Go.
Starting point is 00:34:25 All right. Wait, what? I'm just waiting for you to play the damn video. I'm trying to build some anticipation with Andrew, okay? Knees weak, arms are heavy, this vomit on the surface. I wish he had a camera. You fucking... On the surface, he looked calm and ready to drop bombs.
Starting point is 00:34:40 But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down. The whole crowd is full of spaghetti. You know, ain't it funny this is the one rap song he actually knows? I know mad rap songs, bro. Be honest now. White people hear that song, Lose Yourself, I am him. I'm Eminem. When that song comes out. Every white
Starting point is 00:34:57 person knows those lyrics. I don't know those lyrics. I just freestyled that. Six is in the crowd already. Six is in the crowd already, and their the crowd already And their tits are fucking furious I'm going to grab their butt And touch it Alright here's a video You can't laugh
Starting point is 00:35:12 Alright go I'm being serious How many questions Do you think I asked Miles today And he answered a different question And it drove me fucking crazy It's so funny When he does that
Starting point is 00:35:20 Here we go I'll ask you Can we do an impression Can we do an impression? Can we do an impression? I know I'm stressing Miles out, but he's stressing me out too. I'm not stressed. I'm not stressed.
Starting point is 00:35:32 I've been feeling so bad. I'm just like, I'm just in a corner. Hey, Miles, did the light move? Alphabets were originated in ancient Sumer, and if you look back
Starting point is 00:35:43 at cave drawings... No, no, no, no, but did the lights move? Well, it depends. If a cave actually has the natural light, then people could draw the alphabets as well as other animals inside the cave. No, but this light right here, did it just move a little bit?
Starting point is 00:35:55 What I'm trying to say is that I will be able to do the alphabet for you in an ancient Sumeric tongue if you just give me a moment to try to do it. Oh, my God. That was four different conversations. At least four different conversations. Guys, take your leave.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Okay. All right. You can't laugh at this video. I'm not going to laugh at it at all. I really hope it's fine. Love you, Miles. Thank you so much for all your hard work and your dedication. Miles is going to shoot this place up.
Starting point is 00:36:16 He's ready, bro. He really is. Knees weak. All right. Ready? No. Miles never shoots up to me like that. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Stop it! Stop! Stop! Oh, Millie. Oh, Millie. Oh, Millie. Oh, Millie. Just running back there. It's so good. Look at you guys. Just running back and forth. It's so good. Look at you go. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Stop it. I love this kid, yo. All-time legendary video, bro. Stop it, bro. Stop it, bro. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Yo, have you ever been that excited in your life?
Starting point is 00:37:15 Never, no. Has anything ever made you feel like this? God bless this kid. Bro, it's awesome. Imagine that. Ow, what is that like? What is it like? You know, after you take the trip To the little clinic Like yeah
Starting point is 00:37:26 You guys are wild bro Yo you're crazy bro You're crazy man You are fucking insane Sweating all over my seat Yeah Come on Miles What's up there boy
Starting point is 00:37:38 You're not like Jammed up between Y'all niggas Yo how much more room Is there on the couch Without that It's a little cool. Yo, how much more room is there on the couch without Al? It's unbelievable. Look how much space
Starting point is 00:37:48 Al has. They're fucking tapping knees right now. That's just because we're close. Yeah, they like that. They're not afraid of being homophobic.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Look, we'll pretzel it. Look, it's a braid. Look at that. How do you feel? Do you want to join? Nope. Why not, dude? I should circle drink
Starting point is 00:38:00 right now. Joe, you know what Tom Cassetta said about your peeing? He said it is evident of a guy with a small dick. Oh, yeah. He said...
Starting point is 00:38:07 But he didn't mean it in a mean way. Yeah, he was just like, he was like, oh, does he have like an abnormally small dick? Like he came... The fact that you're
Starting point is 00:38:12 talking about my dick, I know that shit is heavy. Heavy. Heavy. But the stream was so heavy, it was like... All right, stop. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:38:24 I didn't know what happened. Go to the booth. Yo, go to the fucking... I was trying to get out of it. Yo, Go to the booth. Go to the fucking Go to the booth with Miles. Yo, go in the fucking booth with Miles.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Damn, I don't know what I was doing just now. Miles, you want to come sit? I don't have a mic. Miles, that was crazy, son. Son,. That was crazy, son. Yeah, I don't know where I was going with that. Son, you got so defensive, son. Yo, you don't got to get so defensive, bro.
Starting point is 00:38:52 I feel too far from y'all over here. What do you mean? Should we just get one couch that we all sit on? I feel so far. I would love it. Right? You feel the distance? The energy has changed?
Starting point is 00:39:04 I miss you, dude. I miss y'all, too. Are you taking his water? Yeah, what the fuck was that? Yes! Oh, why? Oh, thank you. Hey, thanks, buddy.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Oh, thank you. Yo, that's such a boss move. Yo, that's a big-time move right there. That's a boss move, yo. Yo, he lets you know. Yo, you knew to the couch. Yo, you knew to the center shot. You knew.
Starting point is 00:39:22 This is how newbies get treated over here, bro. All right, you want some water? Jesus. All right. Yeah. You're going to spit it out of your mouth. Give him that sal is how newbies get over here, bro. You want some water? Jesus. Give him that salivate. Mark won't drink it either. He won't drink after people. Alex, get the fuck out of my shot, bro. Come on, son. Be respectful of my fucking shot, bro. Remember.
Starting point is 00:39:38 My bad. You know what I'm saying? I'm back in my motherfucking chair, bro. Talk to him. I'm a fucking cunt. I'm a douchebag. I do need to bring... You almost slipped up. You almost slipped up.
Starting point is 00:39:49 You almost made the cast. No, no, no, no, no, no. You almost made the cast. No, no, no, no, no, no. Miles, what are you doing? Don't stress me out. Don't lean forward so much. I won't have to refocus.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Oh, God damn. God damn. Now we got an answer for you. Wow. Very clear. Very direct. Wow. Notice how Now we got an answer for you. Wow. Very clear, very direct. Yo. Wow. Yo.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Notice how he still didn't answer the question. It wasn't the question. That's a very... The question was, what are you doing? Refocusing the camera. That's it. That's the answer. Fucking dick.
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Starting point is 00:43:38 Yo, Gervais had a fucking great take on cancel culture. Yeah, dude. We can play the clip and insert it, but basically he's like, if you don't let me improve from the shit I said 10 years ago, I'm going to just keep saying it. You want Al to see the...
Starting point is 00:43:52 Al hadn't seen it. Oh, yeah. I saw the other one. It was his best day ever. He was on Twitter going, oh, I've wanted to do this all my life, right? And then someone found
Starting point is 00:43:59 these 10-year-old tweets. It's about Kevin Hart right now. They were sort of childish, sort of shitty, homophobic tweets. It was about his son son he was mucking around he said oh my son's doing so and so i hope he's not gay there was a massive backlash he went oh sorry that sounds i'm not homophobic really sorry he deleted them all right and said i'm really sorry um 10 years later someone finds a screen grab and goes look he's done this oh the officers go oh you gotta apologize again he went no i've apologized I can't keep apologising.
Starting point is 00:44:26 And he's right. If there's no value to saying sorry and evolving, you might as well just tweet him again. That's how I deal with shit. Anyway. But if you're the type of person to revel in someone getting cancelled for something they said ten years ago, you're just ensuring that one day you'll be cancelled for something they said 10 years ago, you're just ensuring that one day you'll be cancelled
Starting point is 00:44:46 for something you said today. You can't predict what will be offensive in the future. You don't know who the dominant mob will be. You know, like, the worst thing you can say today, get you cancelled on Twitter, death threats, the worst thing you can say today is, women don't have penises, right? Now, no- one saw that coming.
Starting point is 00:45:09 There are no 10-year-old tweets that people say. You won't find a 10-year-old tweet of someone saying women don't have penises. Do you know why? We didn't think we fucking had to. It's great. Okay, let's get to the trans thing after, but the first part of it.
Starting point is 00:45:26 This idea, it's like, what world do you want to live in? Like, if you want to live in a world where people are no longer saying these words, if they're not saying them, they said them 10 years, but they're not saying them, then you have to let them evolve.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Yeah, they have evolved with the times, which is what you want them to do. What world do you want to live in? Yes. Because otherwise, just keep saying it, and now you're in the world that you don't want to be in. Yeah. So shut the fuck up. You have what you want.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Yes. Cancel the people that are still doing it. Yes. Okay? I don't even want to say cancel them. But like— You want punitive action or shout them down or whatever if they're still saying it? Cool.
Starting point is 00:46:02 If they said it in the past and stopped saying it, that's exactly what you want. You want people to evolve and learn and grow. That's what you demand. We have statute of limitations on everything. Yes. Like, I don't even know. Murder? I don't know. I think outside of murder, maybe rape. Yeah. You shouldn't have it for those two. Everything else? But everything else,
Starting point is 00:46:19 like, I even think with taxes. Like, if you didn't even pay your taxes, like, back in the day, there's only a certain amount of years that they could get you. After that, suckers. How many years? Say again? How many years? I'd be paying too much money with taxes. If you didn't even pay your taxes back in the day, there's only a certain amount of years that they could get you. After that, suckers. How many years? I'd be paying too much money in taxes. We pay a lot. We're sitting in a write-off right now. I'll be writing this thing off for the rest
Starting point is 00:46:37 of my fucking life. But still, if everything has a statute of limitations except the words that we use, even if you said it and you meant it in a fucked up way, if you've changed, you've got to let motherfuckers change. You don't got to do business with them anymore. But bringing them up is just going to stop people from ever making the change because the costs are too high.
Starting point is 00:46:59 How do you measure if someone's changed, though? They're not saying that shit anymore. Yeah. They could not have changed in their personal life, but if publicly they are, then what do you care? Yeah. And if they're in your private life, then tell them privately.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Yeah, or remove them from your private life. Or remove them from your private life. And there's a lot of people who say the right thing publicly and then privately they're pieces of shit. We elect them to office with regularity. So if human beings, if it's not live and learn, it's be born perfect and evolve 100 years like right now
Starting point is 00:47:26 we're all fucked none of us are going to know you're disincentivizing change yeah I love this it's wonderfully said okay give me a push back what if we said some
Starting point is 00:47:36 real fucked up shit like super like oh let's exterminate this group of people I think we would all call that no longer say that now was it a joke in any given time in any given time let's exterminate a group of people. I think we would all call that... No longer say that now. Was it a joke?
Starting point is 00:47:45 In any given time, in any given time, let's exterminate a group of people, you're not allowed to say that. It doesn't matter. There's a fighter named Sean Strickland that was part of some neo-Nazi groups
Starting point is 00:48:00 or something like that in his youth. And through fighting, he realized that there were all these non-white people that were really helping him out and showed him a lot of love. And they were loving him and helping him and supporting him in ways that his neo-Nazi buddies
Starting point is 00:48:14 or white supremacist buddies were. And then it made him relinquish that shit. Now, I'm not saying that those views are absolutely abhorrent, but we let him change, and now that's for the better. This person is out here, and he's, let me just get the point out. This person is out here, and he has become the person that we want him to be. And he's been very open and honest about it.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Instead of hiding it, he had a conversation with Ariel Helwani about it. And Ariel Helwani is a Jewish guy, and they had this conversation. It's like he had these horrible views and then he's changed these views through talking to people and being allowed to change. What do we do? Do we say, hey, when you were a kid and you thought these fucking horrible things, you should never be allowed to do anything else in your life anymore? Or do we say, hey, that was great that you left that horrible shit aside, and I hope more people also do that? Additionally, that's the guy that can make the most change with the group of people whose mind you want to change.
Starting point is 00:49:12 He can go to these white supremacists and say, guys, I used to be this. I understand what you feel. I empathize with you. It's not the way. The idea of scared straight for kids who are like troubled youth is taking them to prison, and then a prisoner says, yo, I am what you were or whatever. You know what I mean? It's the same kind of idea here where you take a guy who has
Starting point is 00:49:30 changed and then talks to these people who are still in that shitty state and be like, yo, this is not it. But like Mark's question, how do you know they've changed? Just because they stopped saying it doesn't necessarily mean they don't believe those things anymore. They can just be like, hey, I'm not going to laugh. But how can you judge a man by his beliefs? It's impossible. None of us can do that, good or bad.
Starting point is 00:49:46 I can't say a person says bad things, does bad things, is good because of his thoughts. You know what I mean? I can't say a person is good because he says the right thing, does it, or he might do fucked up things in private. We don't know about that. Let's assume they have changed. Do we still punish them for these past beliefs?
Starting point is 00:50:04 Let's assume they have changed. Do we still punish them? What do you mean by punish them for these past beliefs? Let's assume they have changed. Do we still punish them? What do you mean by punish them? Like social, like, ostracization? Yeah. Or, like, that's illegal. Or, like, you don't get to be on the team that drafted you. They look back at your tweets when you were 16 years old
Starting point is 00:50:18 and they see that you were tweeting rap lyrics and they're like, oh, that's it. We can't have this white guy who tweeted some rap lyrics. Or if you're a black dude and you tweet some wild shit, we can't have you on the team. Yeah, I mean, of course, I don't think that's necessarily the solution. But I do think people bring up, like, yo, how do you actually rehabilitate someone that believes fucked up shit?
Starting point is 00:50:34 So people point out, like, this is a quote that will go around the internet where it's like, okay, if there's one Nazi at a table and nine people around them, there's ten Nazis at a table. That's like a thing that people will say, like, obviously to try to get people to stop disenfranchising with quote unquote Nazis. But it's like, it depends what the context of that interaction is. Like if you're trying to bring someone out of a,
Starting point is 00:50:54 like a social situation or like there's some type of cultural pariah and you bring them into a new situation where you're able to like change their thoughts on some like Daryl Davis shit. Yeah. Is that helpful? You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that's helpful.
Starting point is 00:51:03 I think that's a much more helpful thing than ostracizing the one person and then they find each other and they just feed into that hate and get one more power. I think what Akash was saying earlier also makes a lot of sense, which is like,
Starting point is 00:51:13 I want that guy to share his story because his story could help so many other people that were like him. Yeah. Right? That's a powerful story, but if he's afraid to share that story
Starting point is 00:51:24 because he's like, oh my god, my UFC contract is going to be taken, all my sponsors are going to go away from me, everybody's going to hate me, and they're going to paint me now as this person that I was, then he's going to be completely silent and nobody else gets helped. If he did horrible things based on
Starting point is 00:51:40 those beliefs, like he broke the law and did some foul shit back then, that's different. But we're talking about believing something. Mel Gibson is a good example. Okay, go. He says as much racist shit about Jewish people. Sorry. And then they who went and vouched for him? I forget
Starting point is 00:51:55 who. But someone went up in front of the academy and was like guys, Mel Gibson's changed. We're sorry. Take him back. And they stuck their neck out and they're like he's a different person and tried to bring him back into the fold. For the longest time, he was pushed out. Do you remember who that was? No. The last thing I remember about Mel Gibson, not even making a joke, was the audio recording that his ex-wife
Starting point is 00:52:12 released, where he's saying more racist shit. Yeah, exactly. So to me, it's like, you didn't change, but I would also say ostracizing didn't work. Right. Because he got ostracized, and then you got him on tape a few years later saying more shit. Because it's like, what, do you really think that helps? It makes us feel good.
Starting point is 00:52:27 It really makes you feel good, me included, to ostracize someone. I'm okay ostracizing people in the moment for foul shit that they do. I'm ostracizing Will Smith. Will Smith, you're not cool to me because of an action that you did. Ten years from now, if Will Smith or a few years, whatever it is, he goes, man, I fucked up.
Starting point is 00:52:43 That was so stupid. Look at the trends of shit that I caused. Look at all these people at Newark that are getting fucking harassed because of me. Look at what I've done. Look at the avalanche that I've caused. The gay agent union is in shambles right now. Shambles, bro. People bleeding. Right? So it's like if I
Starting point is 00:53:00 at least admit and take accountability for what I did, right, and then change in the future and recognize that. Yo, Will, come on the pod, bro. Like, I got you. Let's talk it out. You're cool. I don't know if forgiving is the right word,
Starting point is 00:53:13 but like, yeah, we're going to move on. You realize what you did? You worked it out with Will? Or you worked it out with Chris? Okay, let's go on. Let's figure something else out. So the thing with the Oscars and Kev, I think they were just like,
Starting point is 00:53:23 hey, we just want you to apologize so we know you don't have those thoughts that you had 10 years ago. But he had already said, he said, I already apologized. They wanted that motherfucker to kiss the ring and they were protecting themselves. They were basically like, yo, look, they're gonna make a big deal of this because we live in
Starting point is 00:53:38 cancel culture right now, so they're gonna find these tweets. Somebody probably already showed them. They're like, if you allow this guy to host, what we're gonna do, because it's all about getting the corporation to bend. It's not about the person. So somebody probably found the them. They're like, if you allow this guy to host, what we're going to do, because it's all about getting the corporation to bend. It's not about the person. So somebody probably found the tweets and they're like, I can get this corporation to bend. Watch. Right? It's a power struggle. Yeah, I didn't
Starting point is 00:53:53 know he already had a power struggle. Yeah, so he explains that in the joke. He might not have caught it early on, but he says he apologized. He said, I'm wrong. That was wrong. I'm not homophobic. I'm sorry. So they hit up the Oscars and they basically said, yo, listen, I'm going to do this and I'm going to expose this and you you guys are gonna look crazy because you have a homophobe this host in the oscars so the oscars freaks out and then they go and and the oscars might not have even done their due diligence the oscars might not even look to see if they apologize yeah and
Starting point is 00:54:18 then it becomes this public fiasco when kev could have just hit him be like yo i already apologized for this i'm not going to be held up on this forever now he did end up apologizing again well that was kev's statement when he already apologized for this. I'm not going to be held up on this forever. Now he did end up apologizing again. Well, that was Kev's statement when he stepped down. He's like, I'm not going to be hosting the Oscars because they're asking me to apologize and I've already apologized however many times over. The onslaught is just so fucking relentless. I don't blame a guy for caving in a certain sense,
Starting point is 00:54:36 but to me, he apologized, he didn't make the joke again, and then you're asking him to apologize again for this. Yo, we're all going to make bad jokes. Anyone who tries to be funny, you will make a joke that hurts somebody at some point. If you feel asking him to apologize again for this. Yo, we're all going to make bad jokes. Anyone who tries to be funny, you will make a joke that hurts somebody at some point. If you feel bad and you apologize, cool, done. Now move on. I'm not going to keep apologizing for this.
Starting point is 00:54:54 I've apologized. I understand it was wrong, but you're going to just sit here and flog me or whatever over and over because I fucked up once? I've changed. Give me that credit. And if you don't, I'm going to start to resent you. And that's what I think these people don't have the sense to know is these people, you're just creating more enemies. You're not creating more love for the group of people
Starting point is 00:55:13 that you want to help. Yeah. When you're exercised from society, you become radicalized. Yes. And then you get brought in by all the other group of people that have been exercised, and you're like, oh. And that's how they get stronger. You keep saying exercised?
Starting point is 00:55:25 Excised, yeah. I think I'm going to say excised. I think he kept saying exc been exorcised. And that's how they get stronger. Do you keep saying exorcised? Ex-cised, yeah. I think I meant to say ex-cised. I think he kept saying ex-cised. No, I said ex-cised. I said ex-cised, dude. Check the tape. Check the tape. You've 1000% said ex-cised. I thought you meant like exorcism and I was like, I guess that works.
Starting point is 00:55:41 You meant to say ostracised. No, ex-cised, like a cyst. Like cut it out. That's like a medical term. I meant it. Nah, nah, nah. He said exercise. Nah, he's flinching it. He said exercise.
Starting point is 00:55:54 He said exercise. I'm not going to let y'all fucking shit all over Al and never me when words get fucked up. And then you say exercise. Dude, that fucking noodle hand. He said exercise. Listen to that fucking noodle hand. What are you talking about? Noodle hand. Look here. Listen to that fucking spaghetti breath over here. Fucking camel hump motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:56:11 That's facts. Okay. What else? What else are we talking about? So, I mean, he also had the trans joke that came out. Do you want to touch on that? Yo, the trans joke. Yeah, we can watch it.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Those fucking dinosaurs. No, I love the new ones. I know the new ones, they're great aren't they? You know the new ones we've been seeing lately? The ones with beards and cocks, they're as good as... They're as good as gold, I love them. No it's the old fashioned, and now the old fashioned, they go like Oh they want to use our toilets. Why shouldn't they use your toilets? For ladies.
Starting point is 00:56:46 They are ladies. Look at their pronouns. What about this person isn't a lady? Well, his penis. Her penis, you fucking bigot. What if he rapes me? What if she rapes you? You fucking turf whore.
Starting point is 00:57:16 It's funny. It's funny. Objectively, from a joke writing standpoint, it's good. Yeah. The interesting thing about this and the way he positions it is that he's not saying the things. He's basically having the online discussion in real time. So he's positioning the groups against each other as if they're having that discussion. And it's kind of cool because it absolves him of any of the guilt.
Starting point is 00:57:43 This is what the trans community is saying. This is what the people are saying. And it is ridiculous when they're having that conversation because if you don't see trans people as what they say they feel they are, then it sounds ridiculous. So, yeah, I think he will catch some backlash. I don't know why it won't be as much as Chappelle. I think he does a smart thing of playing.
Starting point is 00:58:02 He kind of does the Colbert thing, but he does it to liberals. You know Colbert, back when he was funny, used to mock extreme conservatives and play that character and then make them look kind of foolish? That's what he's doing with extreme liberals. He's like, what's her? What if she rapes you? You fucking bigot.
Starting point is 00:58:19 You idiot. He's playing that character, so it's harder to get mad at. Because he's actually saying the right thing. You just know what he really means, so fuck you. Right, right. But he's saying the right thing, so you can't... It's clever, dude. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:58:32 Chappelle's anti-trans jokes weren't as clever to me as this. I found this more clever. This is also silly. And he's great at that. There's a difference when you're just being silly. Yes. Silly, absurdist, ridiculous. And I felt like Chappelle was like,
Starting point is 00:58:46 I'm going to teach these trans women once and for all. Gender is a fact. They are not women. That was like the conversation. It was almost like, this is how you know. Or you might have a struggle, but it's not like black people struggle. So not only do I not believe you're women,
Starting point is 00:59:01 I also don't believe that your struggle is that big a deal. So if you are someone struggling through that, you're going, well, fuck this. Do you think he meant it that way or do you think it just came across that way? I think it came across that way. I don't know what Chappelle really means. But if I'm a trans person, I can see how they might feel that way. I can see trans people being upset at this too. Oh, they are.
Starting point is 00:59:19 They're like, yo, you're mocking me. They're like, I am a woman. I'm curious what Daisy feels about it. Because she's like, yo, I're mocking me. They're like, I am a woman. I'm curious what Daisy feels about it because she's like, yo, I am a woman and you're saying I'm not just because of these body parts, which 10 years ago seemed completely reasonable, which is what he said in the other bit.
Starting point is 00:59:33 Yeah, this is really good. I wonder if you can acknowledge the irony in it. Even though you believe that there's a certain now cultural change, you can acknowledge, oh, things were different back then, therefore I can understand why it's funny. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:59:45 That first joke that we played is harder to get upset at because his point is logical. Yeah, he's just saying, oh, the discourse has changed and now there's a funny thing happening in language. Yeah. You know what it is? It's like you understand bigotry much more as you have those people that are the victims of it
Starting point is 01:00:03 in your friend group. So what we're going through right now is like what I imagine, right? White people, I imagine white people were a little bit more casually racist. Even the whites that didn't identify as racist.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Casually racist before black people were in their friend groups. They were just saying things that were racist. They didn't even know they were racist to even say. And then you have a black dude enter the friend group and you see a black dude either get offended by that or see how they react to it or see them not live up to all those stereotypes that you
Starting point is 01:00:36 thought were true. And then you're like, oh, fuck, okay, I got it. And I think that's what we're doing now with trans. We have this community who's deeply offended, but very few people have trans friends in general. Trans like 0.01% or whatever the hell it is. So it's like, you don't even have a trans person to know how they feel about these certain things.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Having Daisy on was a wild experience for me because it was the first time I'm actually, well, maybe a second time, but I'm like sitting down with a trans person and going, oh wow, they really do feel like they are a woman. And it was convincing to me. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:08 And they're in this wrong body. That was convincing. Now, you know they say sunlight is the greatest disinfectant? For bigotry, I think exposure is the sunlight. So exposure is what cleanses me of this thing that's bigotry. Exposure to a trans person being like, yo, this kind of hurts my feelings when people say X, Y, and Z. You're like, oh, shit, my bad. I didn't know. Before, I knew a trans person being like, yo, this kind of hurts my feelings when people say X, Y, and Z's. You're like, oh shit, my bad, I didn't know.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Before I knew a trans person, these were just jokes. Now I see it and I see how it hurts you and that's a different thing. Alright guys, we're going to take a break for a second because you know it's playoff time, baby. It's playoff time, okay? We're throwing some money down on these games. And I get it, you thought the Mavs were going to get swept, but Luka said no, no, no, no, no. Now, thought the Mavs were going to get swept, but Lucas said no, no, no, no, no. Now, will the
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Starting point is 01:04:31 Let's get back to the show. Sunlight's the best disinfectant? That's what they say. I've never heard that one. That's a saying. Sunlight is the greatest disinfectant. I've never heard that one. I feel like we've said that on this podcast.
Starting point is 01:04:39 I've never heard that one. I've never heard that one. Sunlight is the best disinfectant? Yeah. Why? That doesn't disinfect anything. What about salt water? What about Robitussin?
Starting point is 01:04:48 Hey, what can you say with these old sayings? It's back when all we had was sunlight. He's not a doctor, bro. Yeah. That's how you got disinfected. You went to pre-med and shit. Look it up right now. Come on, bro.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Sunlight is. First of all, stop saying you're pre-med. Everything's pre-med before you go to med school. Yeah, are you pre-med? I'm pre-med. I take the MCAT. I study business. I'm pre-med. You take the MCAT. I study business. I'm pre-med.
Starting point is 01:05:05 You take the MCAT? You failed the MCAT. Bravo. You can't fail the MCAT. That's why I didn't. Did you take it? What was your score? 27.
Starting point is 01:05:11 What do you need to get into school? 34. You can get in with a 27. What, 34 or get into Harvard? Where are you going to medical school
Starting point is 01:05:17 with a 27? You could be a DO. You could be a DO. You can't get into no fucking medical school My cousin got a 27. No, DeVry, you go to like Jamaica. Yeah, you go to Caribbean medical school. My cousin got a 27. That's when you go to Jamaica.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Yeah, you go to Caribbean medical school. Have you met one of those doctors? Get out of here. Have you met one of those doctors that's like, yeah, man, I studied in Kingston? Yeah, sure you did. You don't think I've met those doctors? That's where you learn the sunlight.
Starting point is 01:05:39 You can't even be a dentist with a 27. I would have destroyed the DATs. Sunlight is the best disinfectant is a quote in a place where they don't have disinfectants. Is that why it says sunlight is the best disinfectant? Quote investigator.
Starting point is 01:05:52 That's the quote investigator. Malaria, for instance, which is one of the most difficult things to contend with. I didn't say it was a scientifically accurate quote. I'm not going to lie. Before he shitted on it,
Starting point is 01:06:00 it sounded fire. It did. It really did. Like shine the light on it. You know what I mean? Like, it was really beautiful. Next time you have a surgery that she gets infected, it's like, yeah, it took a walk. COVID. COVID. Vitamin D.
Starting point is 01:06:12 There you go. Eat my dick. Argue with Rogan. Don't argue with me. You know what I mean? No, that is true, but it don't really disinfect. It's true now. Once I said Rogan, that's not. I got him back. I got him back. Now what? back, dog. I got him back. Now what, bitch?
Starting point is 01:06:26 You know how to get me on your side, for sure. But for real, though, keep saying trash quotes. I'm sorry, my quotes are too deep for you to know. No, no, that was a great quote. Great quote. But then Mark cut the legs out from under it. But if you did get your legs cut off, there would be a great disinfectant I can recommend.
Starting point is 01:06:44 That would help, actually. Hey, what can I say? I know quotes from back in the day, you know? Yeah, you got to stun. I'm not a doctor, but I'm good at quotes. Have you heard about
Starting point is 01:06:51 stunning your butthole? That's a new thing. People use this as like a medical thing where you go outside and you're supposed to put your ass in the sun and apparently it gives you
Starting point is 01:06:58 like energy. Who knows weird ass facts? That's a real thing. What Tucker Carlson documentaries do you watch? No, that's Red Light. That's Red Light. You know some weird ass facts. That's season three. Yeah, no, this is a real thing. Wait a minuteson documentaries do you watch? No, that's Red Light. That's Red Light. You know some weird
Starting point is 01:07:05 ass facts. That's season three. Yeah, no, this is a real thing. Wait a minute, what is this, sunning your butthole? Yeah, perineum sunning. Oh, now you trust Google all of a sudden. Yes. When it's your shit, Google will be right. If it's.org, I trust it, okay? You were talking about.com. The UI Healthline.com, dickface. Yeah, okay, no, this is government. This is their different satellite one.
Starting point is 01:07:22 But yeah, this is per... Perineum sunning. Hey, Dove. Tell me. Can you ask Shubh what a This is their different satellite one. But yeah, this is Perinium Sunny. Hey, Duff. Tell me. Can you ask Shubh what a respectable MCAT score is? No, Shubh, what a respectable MCAT score. You don't even know what a respectable score is? Not 27.
Starting point is 01:07:40 A 25 is as mid as can be. Really? 25 is mid, yeah. That's the 50 percentile. That's 50 percentile? Well, like average to above average. I don't believe it. No, I don't think it's 50 percentile.
Starting point is 01:07:51 I don't believe it. I think he got below like a white score. Can you look up the average white people score in the MCAT? Go ahead. I don't believe this. If he got a good score to get in, you'd be in med school right now. I didn't say I was good enough to get in. You just said it was good enough to get in.
Starting point is 01:08:04 I said you can get in. My GPA wasn't good enough to get in. Well, it's not just an MCAT. Don't let this nurse... Hold on, hold on, hold on. So you failed pre-med. GPA. Those are the two things. MCAT, GPA, and then extracurriculars, which don't matter. Yeah, everybody at Justice AC is like,
Starting point is 01:08:17 oh, we got him. I'm not going to let this nurse talk to you like that. I think this might be our first... A 27th and 60th percentile. Sixth? You... A 27th is a 60th percentile. 60, you failed. You did fail. 60th percentile. Oh, I thought it was 60th percentile.
Starting point is 01:08:29 Meaning the highest 60... I said above average. There you go. I didn't say it was good. Above average. Slightly above average. I said above average. Barely above.
Starting point is 01:08:36 I counted, bro. I counted. It's above, though. It's above. So you wouldn't have gotten into med school? No, not with my GPA. If I had a great GPA, I could have gotten into med school. Do you think that you didn't get into med school because you believe dumb shit like light is the best?
Starting point is 01:08:47 That could have something to do with it. That could have something to do with it. You could use some sunlight, though. I need sunlight, bro. Yeah, you got to get disinfected. Yeah, maybe disinfect that face a little. Real talk, I need that shit. I really, can you hit me off with something?
Starting point is 01:09:01 Something nice. Oh, there you go. Did you just turn off all the lights in the studio? This fucking guy, bro. Go back to the hero shot. We learned it. We learned it. Okay, so Akash has kind of like wiggled out of the...
Starting point is 01:09:16 Because laughter is the best medicine. That's why. Ooh. Technically, you are a doctor in a way. Laughter is the best medicine. Hey, you got to tell your parents that. I tell them that all the time. They don't believe it.
Starting point is 01:09:25 If I had a diploma that said that, maybe they'd agree. What did your mom say when you told her your MCAT score? They didn't know. You didn't even bother
Starting point is 01:09:33 to tell them? No, they don't know what it means. They're just numbers. Are you in or are you not? That's what we need to know. Your parents don't know what a good MCAT score is?
Starting point is 01:09:39 No. Even though your uncle is a doctor? Yeah, but he came from India, so he didn't have to take an M. We don't count that Indian doctor. He took a board when he came. They're all driving Ubers right now,
Starting point is 01:09:48 the Indian doctors. No, they're coming here to be doctors. Exactly. We don't take the Indian doctors over there. Yeah. Yes, you do. If you're a doctor in India, you don't get to transfer that shit over here.
Starting point is 01:09:58 You have to redo it over here. No. Yes, 100%. You take the boards. So you think the doctors from the Caribbean come back to medical school over here and then. Yes, 100%. You take the boards. You think the doctors from the Caribbean come back to medical school over here and then take the boards again? I didn't say that.
Starting point is 01:10:10 I didn't say that. Go ahead, nod again. Keep nodding harder. Listen, 27. I didn't say the fucking Caribbean. It was tremendous. 27 out of here. What's your SAT? 27.
Starting point is 01:10:25 What's your SAT? 1020? No, I got 1130. I got 1130. It was 1110 because I was 1140. No, I was 1130. All right. I got 1130.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Mark got the highest score. I'm 1240. But was you 14? I did a lot of tutoring, though, bro. He took it like six times, though. My parents paid for it. Oh, no. I took all that tutoring, too, just to get 1130.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Yeah, but his scores was like 2400 by the time he took it. Oh, yeah. His is super mid. It's 14. Inflation, bro. Inflation. It's inflation. 1240's a white.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Indian 1240's like a white 10 point. Yo, but to be fair, you were trying to be a doctor. Yeah. I wasn't like trying to master an SAT. What kind of medicine were you trying to do? Whatever. Okay. Get my parents off my back practice. That's what I want.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Just be a doctor at all. Yes, that's it. I would have done podiatry. I don't give a fuck. You would have done lip injections. I feel it. I feel like you're a lip injection kind of doctor. Really with that weird feet shit, bro.
Starting point is 01:11:16 What? That's your first go-to right there. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. Why not fix feet? He needs it. He needs it. I would get you too.
Starting point is 01:11:24 Remember when your bunion was sticking out of the fucking shoe? I would never let you and your fucking 27 touch my feet. Never in fucking life. In the fucking camera too? Never in fucking life. But your hand feet, you do definitely need some sort of adjustment. I saw a guy that had hand feet. Aren't you flat footed?
Starting point is 01:11:38 What does that have to do with hand feet? You got fat kid feet. You're fat. I know. You got fat feet. That's why you have hands. How do you get my feet? So you can eat more fucking food with them.
Starting point is 01:11:47 How do you get my feet? How do we know that they're not just arms? And you're one of those Indians that wasn't even born with legs. Get it out. I fucking stumbled. You were there, though. You were there, though. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:11:57 I almost had it. Okay, listen. What else we got? Why do you got to go to Italy, by the way? I have a honeymoon. Oh, that's a decent point. Because now you're going to Italy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Now my girl's like, oh, where are we going? I told you guys to book this already. Yeah, I know. And Akash's like a fucking piece of garbage. What? Books the week before. What? Books the week before I go on the honeymoon.
Starting point is 01:12:20 I was like, let's all go on a vacation. You actually didn't have that conversation with me. That's not true. No. That's literally not true. You didn't with me either. Yeah, that's 100 go on a vacation. You actually didn't have that conversation with me. That's not true. No, you didn't. You didn't with me either. Who do you think is more likely to forget something and remember something? I'll tell you. I found out about this honeymoon like maybe two weeks ago.
Starting point is 01:12:35 I'm saying. No, no, no. That's actually not true because I texted the group the week off. So everybody knew. Nope. Nope. Who. No? Who's likely to tell everyone, hey guys, don't work? Who would I text?
Starting point is 01:12:49 Who's likely to say that? Was that me? I don't know if he would say that. Was that me? Yeah, and you know like booking last minute in the summertime? It's impossible. It's not the best time to book. Yeah, we are doing it currently. Fuck me. I swear to God we had this conversation.
Starting point is 01:13:06 Who did I talk to about this then? I think your girl. No, because was it just you, Doug? No, because... We were talking about the two weeks off that everybody shuts down for. I know, right? I had no idea this was happening, son.
Starting point is 01:13:22 What? I had no idea. So by the way, what's going through your heads is what I went through with you in the conversation. So the first week was Christmas. We always shut down for Christmas. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:34 And then the second week was honeymoon. Okay. Good to know now. We always shut down for honeymoon. Everybody knows this. I figured we all take the vacation. It's like June T. There's a new holiday. I got to knows this. Oh, shit. I figured we all take the vacation. It's like June T. There's a new holiday.
Starting point is 01:13:48 I got to keep this up then, huh? Read them for more. I got to have a new honeymoon next year. Okay, I'll figure it out. So basically, yeah, I figured we all take that week off.
Starting point is 01:13:59 Fuck, I thought everybody knew about this. I figured I would take a different week off because I didn't know about your week off. And it just so happens to be the week before when we have to record all the podcasts to fill the week that we're not going to be here.
Starting point is 01:14:10 My wife has to be at her new internship that week that you start. I'm sorry, did anybody ask that? Did anybody ask that? About your free work thing. We're talking about making money out here, bro.
Starting point is 01:14:26 We're making money right now. Yeah, you could have told us about the vacation, though. I thought I did. Okay. Genuinely. And now this is my girl's idea. Now that you, I think I'm going to be away from you finally. Maybe that's who he texted your wife. Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 01:14:37 Hey, we're going to take two weeks off the studio. Who did I talk to about this? His wife, yo. Yeah, I think so. Because she knows. And now I think I'm going to get away from you. Guess where she wants to go? Scotland. wife, yo. Yeah, I think so. Because she knows and now I think I'm going to get away from you. Guess where she wants to go?
Starting point is 01:14:47 Scotland. Oh, boy. Damn, bro. She's like, yeah, summertime. Guess where I'm going? Scotland. Yo.
Starting point is 01:14:54 Summer vacation. I don't know what happened, bro. I'll be honest with y'all. I don't know what happened. But someone fucked up. I don't know what happened between me booking a vacation and y'all not finding out,
Starting point is 01:15:08 but we got to figure out who fucked this up. Yeah, we should. We really do. I think it was you. I think it was you. I think so. I think it was me.
Starting point is 01:15:19 I know I told you, Duff, so you didn't tell the boys. You didn't tell us? You didn't tell me. How long did you know? Because I booked two comedy shows those weeks, so I didn't even guess? How long did you know? Because I booked two comedy shows those weeks so I didn't even get to know. How long did you know, Dove? I'm finna look this shit up right now. It's in the calendar.
Starting point is 01:15:29 Dove, oh, wait, wait. How long did you know? I could not find it in the calendar. It's in the calendar. Andrew Honeymoon. You act like we get notifications. I told your ass to tell everybody, didn't I? Nope. I told his ass to tell everybody. No, that makes sense because everybody looks two months ahead in the calendar for notifications that might pop up that they didn't know about.
Starting point is 01:15:46 Yeah. Did you hear him talk about his honeymoon? Yeah, blame me. It's okay. June, when am I going to see it? Who put it in the calendar? Not me. Who put it in the calendar?
Starting point is 01:15:54 Nobody, dog. No, it is in the calendar now, but who put it in the calendar? Who do you think? Who do you think? Who do you think did that? I think Duff. No? Yes.
Starting point is 01:16:02 Oh, Duff, where are you going that week? Oh, so you had enough time to book something. See what I'm saying? See what I'm saying? I told him to tell all y'all. He didn't. And this is, if you're going to sell me out, I'm going to sell you out. Please. The thing that I'm
Starting point is 01:16:20 going to say is. Sell me out. Sell. Sell me out. I'm already sell out. I'm already sell out. I'm already sell out. Well, now that I know that Akash already booked something, I got in a conversation where like, I'm doing my trip at the end of July. And then he's like, no, you're... Just a little bit.
Starting point is 01:16:35 You're going when... We're all done. The end of July. And I'm like, hold on. You see this? You see this? Go to me right now.
Starting point is 01:16:44 Go to me right now. You see this? You see this? This is what we now. Go to me right now. You see this? You see this? This is what we try. We try so hard. Everybody wants to take vacations. Look at how much notice I'm giving you. We make a whole goddamn new studio.
Starting point is 01:16:53 And everybody wants to take a goddamn vacation. You see this? I'm not taking a vacation. I'm taking a honeymoon. That's my answer. You think I want to do this? Do you think I want to do this? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:01 You're taking two weeks. I went on half of my, I'm going on half of the vacation that my friends are going on. Oh. But that's not Oh, you're on a vacation
Starting point is 01:17:10 that your friends are probably going to pay for. Where are you going? You're just going to be on a boat or something. Where are you going? Let's compare vacations. How about that?
Starting point is 01:17:17 I did it that shit real fucking quick. I was tight, bro. I was like, we'll have to go on a different week because all my friends are going to go on this. And I was like,
Starting point is 01:17:25 I don't give a flying fuck. Because his friends are in the business. They represent clients too. And I'm like, oh, oh, are their client schedules more important than your client schedule? Oh, one of it, there's birthday.
Starting point is 01:17:42 That was terrible. Go to the other room, son. Go to the other room, son. Go to the other room. Go to the other room. I don't know what to do. You got kicked out. Go to the other room. I'm high right now.
Starting point is 01:17:53 I've been high for two hours. I'm very high. What is high at work? What is high at work? What's going on? I had to admit it. I just had to. What if there's birthday?
Starting point is 01:18:02 That must be nice. What if there's birthday? They were calling me out for college. Birthday. That was fun. Okay, so what's birthdays? That must be nice. What if there's birthdays? They were calling me out for college. Birthday. That was fun. Okay, so what about birthdays? What if there is birthday? Yeah, what is that?
Starting point is 01:18:12 Come on. Can y'all answer the motherfucking question? Who put it in the calendar? You did. I swear to God. You did. You did. You're high on drugs.
Starting point is 01:18:19 You have no idea what's going on. It's CBD. Whoever put it in the calendar knew. What are you saying? Stop. You said you were what's going on. It's CBD. Whoever put it in the calendar knew. What are you saying? Stop. You said you were high. On CBD. But the second I knew my schedule, I told him.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Because I have to tell him for films and shit. For example, he knew I was doing it because we had to make sure that I wasn't going to be doing the film. Exactly. So you knew all this stuff. Stop acting like you didn't know. And you didn't tell them. And I asked you to tell them. I wish I also told you because I didn't know he was a nincompoop.
Starting point is 01:18:44 Right? Like now that I know he's a nincompoop. Right? Like, now that I know he's a nincompoop, then I'm going to make sure I tell you all this shit. What's worse? What I did or what Akash did? Because I didn't even do it.
Starting point is 01:18:50 What you did? Don't do that. Oh, I'm going to do it. I'm going to look you in the eyes when I do that. I'm talking to both of them. I'm talking to both of them. Don't do that.
Starting point is 01:18:58 Want me to do you next time? Remember we were wondering what karmically he did to lose his seat? I do remember that. Yeah. I'm going Wednesday through Sunday. I'd have missed one. We had to record on Tuesday.
Starting point is 01:19:08 That's it. You are a scoundrel. We would have recorded one Tuesday, been out. That's it. How dare we take vacations? I'm too far from you guys. So yeah, last week in July. Where you going? Oh yeah, I'm both taking vacations the same week. You said I was going to take a trash vacation. Let's compare vacations.
Starting point is 01:19:24 Come on. Yeah, he's going to take a trash vacation. Let's compare vacations. Come on. Yeah, he's going to ride a fucking pontoon boat in Venice. Take your shirt off. I'm going to the slums of Spain. Who is? You are? Yeah. Where?
Starting point is 01:19:32 Where are you going? My shorties. And a family. Guys, am I known to take time off? Honest question. I mean, you missed a week ago. That wasn't time off. That was work.
Starting point is 01:19:44 That was time off the podcast. I didn't say... week ago that wasn't time off that was that was work that was time off the podcast I didn't say am I known to take time off general vacations like just not work end of every year that's it but I'm not Miles can you
Starting point is 01:19:58 give me a point for a second we don't want to give you this point can I go to the back of the fucking am I the idiot we just don't want to give you this point. We don't want to give you this point. I don't want to give it up. Should I go to the back of the fucking game? You're forcing us to try. Am I the idiot? We just don't want to give you a point on this. Am I known,
Starting point is 01:20:10 do I ever, am I known to not take, am I known to take time off? Am I known to take vacations? Hardest working man in showbiz, everybody. I didn't say I was harder working than y'all.
Starting point is 01:20:21 I didn't say I was harder working than y'all. Okay, many of you, yes. But not, but I'm just not known to take just, oh, I'm going to take time off. Is that correct? Fair to say? Yes or no?
Starting point is 01:20:32 Sure. How can we not admit this? We don't want to give you the point. How can we not admit this? Why? You just brought it up for what reason? I just gave it to you. I said sure.
Starting point is 01:20:40 What? You interpreted sarcasm. That's you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He's basically saying you guys don't deserve vacations. That's how I'm reading it. No, no, no, no. Dove is our attorney.
Starting point is 01:20:48 Can I tell you what the real thing with Dove is? Dove. Like, he is. That's the real thing. No, that was coming. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Listen. You're on drugs. And what about
Starting point is 01:21:09 birthday, Doug? What about birthday? You guys were calling me an alcoholic, so I just tried to lead, but I can't do that anymore. I like it better. Can I just have an honest conversation? Yes. Can we please have an honest conversation? Can you guys please name the hardest working guy? Can we please have an honest conversation? Okay. Please name the hardest working guy.
Starting point is 01:21:25 Can we? No. Can we just acknowledge No, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is I'm not looking to take time off. Okay? I have been forced to do such things. Okay? I have been forced
Starting point is 01:21:45 to do such a thing. Oh, wow. By a spiteful wife. You know what? I'm going with that too, yeah. Okay? My wife has spite. She has spite.
Starting point is 01:21:58 She has spite. Boom, clap. Boom, de-clap, de-clap. Why are you blaming your wife for this, yo? Because I'm pussy, bro. God damn, clap. Boom, de-clap, de-clap. Why are you blaming your wife for this, yo? Because I'm pussy, bro. God damn, man. I'm really excited for this vacation. We're going to go to Venice, man.
Starting point is 01:22:12 We're going to go to Amalfi. Bitch. Yeah, we're going to go to Rome. I'm very excited for this vacation. What do you think his Instagram story looks like when he's there? Be honest. Oh, my shit's going to look crazy. What do you think his Instagram story looks like?
Starting point is 01:22:24 My shit's going to look crazy. Okay. All right his Instagram story is? My shit's going to look crazy. Okay, all right, let's make some predictions. Go, go, go, go. Let's make some predictions. Let's make some predictions. All right, all right. Tell me if you're right. First one, first one, go.
Starting point is 01:22:32 So he's going to post a hotel window when he gets to wherever he's going, looking at the water or some shit. Canal. You know canals, right? I already planned that. That's going to be the first one. That's not bad.
Starting point is 01:22:40 I do that. You got to send me that, right? Why do you want to send me that? My man never been on vacation. He's going to Sparta. What are you going to take pictures of? Come on, son. Stop it.
Starting point is 01:22:50 You're going to post that one? Oh, you're going to have the one of like, it's going to be a zoom in. You want to ruin my honeymoon? You see what you did? You want to ruin the joy of my honeymoon? Keep going, keep going, Mark. I can't even enjoy my honeymoon.
Starting point is 01:22:59 You don't start. Remember when he rented a dinghy? Remember when he rented a dinghy? Remember when he rented a dinghy and he put that shit on his close friend's story trying to flex like he was doing something special? Motherfucker was on a life raft. He went tubing. He went tubing.
Starting point is 01:23:12 It was like the taxi of that. It wasn't even a taxi. It was what they have on the side of the taxi in case shit went wrong. Motherfuckers from the Titanic was still in the goddamn boat with him. Women and children. The fucking boat said women and children only.
Starting point is 01:23:23 We can't do it like this. We had to ship Elian Gonzalez off that children only. Can't do it like me. Yeah, they should have Elian Gonzalez off that thing. Can't do it like me. Son, there was African refugees on that boat and he had to tip
Starting point is 01:23:32 them motherfuckers over. You're a piece of shit. Okay? Yeah, we're jealous. We're jealous. He doesn't know Dos Evita like me.
Starting point is 01:23:39 He doesn't know. You do know that. He's gonna be stressed out. That's why I called him before. This is what he said to me. He started venting to me. That's why I was talking about is what he said to me. He started venting to me. Like, that's why I was talking about,
Starting point is 01:23:47 like, I don't take vacations. He started venting to me. He goes, here's the thing. Like, I'm working my ass off. I'm fucking grinding. I'm working to the bone. I'm doing 10 different type of things. He goes, you have to understand,
Starting point is 01:23:56 like, I need, like, my summer's in Italy. Like, I need, like... He said this to me. Oh, my God. Like, and was serious. Like, a dead serious. like he said this to me oh my god like it was serious like a dead serious like he looked me in the eyes
Starting point is 01:24:10 and it was like I need my summers in Italy like I need to be on the lake and I need to take out my dinghy with a girl
Starting point is 01:24:15 that won't fuck me I need to do these things right and I just couldn't believe that it was coming out of his mouth I'll make it come
Starting point is 01:24:22 out of my mouth again I need my summers in fucking Italy. And I'm taking it. He's such a white bitch. I just want to break the tension. That's dope when he doesn't have his summers in Italy. I know.
Starting point is 01:24:40 Yeah, enjoy Scotland, bro. Hey, listen, I got mad love for the homeland of shit, but... Summer in Scotland. You didn't have to diss. It's so trash. You go to Scotland. The Edinburgh Riviera.
Starting point is 01:24:58 Where are you from, Al? What? Oh, that got uncomfortable. Yeah, Puerto Rico. That's way better than Scotland. Fuck out of here.
Starting point is 01:25:09 What are you talking about? I guess he's fucking right. They had no electricity for a little bit. Oh,
Starting point is 01:25:15 how much I get pants? I still wear skirts and shit. Fuck out of here, bro. Oh, my God. Oh, you're going to take a pic on the gondola for sure?
Starting point is 01:25:30 I told him not to also. Nah, nah. Tourist. Nah, nah. I don't need no gondola. Tourist. Y'all really going to ruin my time? Y'all going to ruin my time?
Starting point is 01:25:38 I can't be a hacky tourist for a little bit? Drunk with a cigarette? Nah. You're going to get a cigarette? When he gets a little drinky-drinking him? Oh, my God. It's going to be the whole time. Yo, I'm going to be on my vacation about to get a drink with a cigarette? When he gets a little drinky-drink in him, oh my God. It's going to be the whole time.
Starting point is 01:25:45 Yo, I'm going to be on my vacation about to capture a moment and then just think of y'all laughing in the other fucking hot house while I drink back and fuck you.
Starting point is 01:25:53 Yo, guys, guys, this is every vacation. He gets a little drinky-drink. He just has his phone up the entire time. Oh my God. It's almost like
Starting point is 01:26:01 you're live streaming but you don't know how to live stream so he just holds the button down in the story. I mean, I know Al's not talking about stories. I know you're not talking about stories. I do it.
Starting point is 01:26:11 Yo, every time we're on the road, yo, yo, Mark, can you come take a picture with me on the beach with a pineapple? Yo, yo, Mark, yo, Mark, let me just hold the pineapple like this. Let me just get my ass. He takes pictures. I have to pop it. Stop it. His little thirst traps and his toes out in every fucking picture.
Starting point is 01:26:26 Oh, I need another one of those, by the way. He doesn't even know what mush is right. Okay. Our story every time, bro. Feet up just like on a beach or some shit.
Starting point is 01:26:33 Just toes out. Yeah, son, we get it. You live with the view of Manhattan. Every time. Okay. God, no. You like that shit. And then the monitor.
Starting point is 01:26:40 Yo, that was... That was the view of Manhattan. Yo, he's... You don't even know if he's shitting on you so hard. Yeah, look at the view. He's shitting on you so hard. He's shitting on you so hard. You got a view of rats running by. No, no, no. He lives in rat-free Queens.
Starting point is 01:26:55 It is rat-free. There's no rat in Queens. Look at my group, terrorists. I'll be cropping all the 300 other people on their bar and killing this shit off so it'll look like just Al's hair
Starting point is 01:27:08 I do two Japanese people excuse me listen hey Lai listen fuck you all for ruining my vacation
Starting point is 01:27:18 nah I'm looking forward to that shit to mine he's going to Venice where they created Aperol Spritzes that'll be the first photo oh
Starting point is 01:27:24 yes oh you had that one I can't get that you fucked it up he's going to Venice where they created Aperol Spritzes that'll be the first photo oh yes oh you had that one I can't have that you fucked it up I can't have nothing were you going to do the two lay flats with you and your
Starting point is 01:27:32 bride on the honeymoon on the way out there you don't have pics of it what is that I'll be telling that shit what movie should I watch what is it oh yeah
Starting point is 01:27:40 when I get a lay flat should I watch this movie yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah a lay flat, should I watch this movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me tell you something. I know if Al's vacationing on a budget because I don't see no pictures.
Starting point is 01:27:53 If Al's doing anything nice, we all know about it. Yeah, a sharp knife at the restaurant. Is this for steak? Eating good. Oh, fuck. Applebee! All right, all right good. Oh, fuck. Applebee! All right, all right, all right, guys.
Starting point is 01:28:09 Come on, let's do a pot. Actually, I think we have something. Guys, this has been Flagrant. Peace.

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