Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - ROAST OF WILL SMITH
Episode Date: March 29, 2022Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Sin...gh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #AkaashSingh
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Discussion (0)
After the vicious attacks on Chris Rock last night,
we think it's only right here at the Flagrant 2 podcast
to defend the comic's honor to tell jokes.
So here we go.
If you didn't see the Oscars,
Chris Rock got himself in a hairy situation.
He shined a light on female alopecia,
while Jada's head shined a light on everything else.
Chris was making fun of Jada's baldy,
but seriously, how is Will supposed to get turned
on if she has a woman's haircut?
Now, I'm not saying that
he's gay. He likes women,
specifically ones that swim for
pen. All I'm saying is
last night wasn't the first time
Will fondled another man to make
Jada happy.
And Will's hand that struck
Chris Rock was actually a metaphor for his relationship with Jada,. And Will's hand that struck Chris Rock was actually a
metaphor for his relationship with
Jada. Open when he wanted
it to be closed. But let's be
honest. Last night, Will
Smith looked like he was from the streets
of Philadelphia. And
Jada looked like she was from the movie.
Now,
after all that drama,
Will Smith still took home an Oscarcar i'm talking about the award not a mexican
guy to fuck his wife while he watched in the corner you gotta jiggle now to clarify will won
the oscar for best actor people were saying it was for the lifetime to the plumber that unclogged Jada's shower drain.
Now, I am tired of people not giving Jada enough credit.
OK, it was actually Jada that helped Will get in character for King Richard, because when she gives blowjobs, her head looks like a bouncing tennis ball.
Give it up to Will, OK. Give it up to Will, okay?
Give it up to Will Smith.
He is the only person to be recognized
by the Motion Picture Academy
and the Citizen app on the same night.
And to everyone saying,
Will was probably under the influence, no.
Okay, he doesn't drink or do drugs.
This is the only time he's ever smoked a rock in his life.
Now, don't feel bad for Chris Rock, okay?
He was finally part of a hit white people will watch.
Give Chris Rock some damn credit, okay?
He took that smack like a champ.
And next year, he's going to be ready, okay?
He'll have more bobs and weaves than Jada's wig collection.
Now, a lot of people are saying
this never happened during Oscars So White.
Exactly, okay?
The white Oscars are mind-numbingly boring,
or as Jada would call it, a relationship with Will.
So, I think we can all admit this was shocking, okay?
Because if there was gonna be one chick at the Oscars
with a hair loss disease that doesn't understand humor
I would assume it'd be a B Schumer
Let this be a lesson to you if you want to keep your wife's name out of other people's mouths
Make sure to keep your hands off comedians. What's up everybody? Welcome to flagra 2 now. Let's start this shit
Wow you defended Chris Rock's honor dude, yeah we did Now let's start the show. Wow.
You defended Chris Rock's honor, dude.
Yeah, we did.
How long do you think I'm going to be in this?
Until we decide you can get out.
Yeah, you're really a prisoner of this.
You're like Jada in her own marriage.
Jada or Will?
Jada wants out, can't get out.
That's you.
What did you guys think of what happened?
Thank you, Squire. I mean, dude. out. That's you. That's facts. What did you guys think of what happened? Thank you, Squire.
I mean, dude.
First off, the costume.
Yeah.
I mean, it's fire, right?
Is this just in case Will tries to attack you? Yeah, this is what comedians are going to have to wear now.
Oh, really?
Yeah, we're going to have the dress prepared for violence, dude.
Yeah, 100%.
This is what it's like now.
Comedians are under attack, dude.
Wow.
Everyone wants to talk about Ukraine.
Comedians are the real ones that are under attack.
We're the Ukrainians of America.
Absolutely.
We're the Ukrainians of America.
You're not the Kingslayer, but you're like the Prince Slayer.
I'm the Prince Slayer.
Yeah, 100%.
Which Prince?
Yeah, the fresh.
The fresh one.
Definitely.
Okay, guys, what were your thoughts on what happened with Will and Rock?
I mean, that was unreal.
It's hard to have a conversation.
We can't move on?
You want to hear something funny?
I saw a tweet that said it wasn't even Rock's joke.
It was one of the writers.
That's so good.
What do you think he's doing backstage?
The writer just like, uh.
Here's the thing.
The writer probably thought of way worse jokes about infidelity and was like, let's go with something mild.
Dude, she's wearing a green,
like a military green outfit.
And is she going to be in G.I. Jane?
No.
They're not making another G.I. Jane?
No. She's not doing this for a role.
What?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
She's doing it because she has alopecia.
She's losing her hair.
Yeah, which is apparently a huge deal.
I had no idea.
Every person at the Oscars has fake hair.
Every person in this room is losing their hair.
Yeah.
Shouts to Keeves.
But no, for real, if there's one place where you can wear wigs and fake hair and all that
kind of stuff, it's the Oscars.
Every girl there probably has extensions.
Yeah, but she wanted to be proud.
She wanted to come out and say, yo, this is my hair.
Well, then keep it a buck.
Be proud. You know what she wanted to be proud. She wanted to come out and say, yo, this is my hair. Well, then keep it a buck. Be proud, yo.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
If this is a big deal
for black women
to not wear their own hair,
why have my women
been cutting off their own shit
and sending it this way
for fucking decades now?
Talk that shit.
Let's start a race war.
You can't get a nice weave?
You know what I mean?
Are we starting a race war?
A crusade.
A crusade.
I'm ready for a crusade right now.
You look like it.
Yeah, y'all will get there first,
but by the time I get there, I think that was the strategy.
They're like, if we just make them walk there from England in these outfits, the Muslims
will just be dead by then.
There's no way that we're just waiting for them.
Bro.
Son, you're looking for a crusade.
I thought you were looking for the yellow brick road over there, bro.
It took a lot of the dogs.
It took a lot of the dogs.
The joke was great. the joke was great
the joke was great
the joke was exceptional
but it did take you
a while to get there
but that was fucking good
bro Tin Man bro
yeah
now I feel bad for him
they said no one's
ever rented this outfit before
say again
they said no one's
ever rented this
I was like
I want to rent that
they're like wait actually
Mark we didn't rent this outfit
oh that's right
this is handed down
forged yeah forged
yeah it was my family.
They were Scottish ancestors.
My Scottish ancestors
when we were fucking up the English
in their butts.
You know what I mean?
We were cucking out the English, dude.
We were Will Smith in the English, dude.
If there's any,
August, I'll see you in England.
If there's anything you want to say
to Andrew, now's the time
because you can't do nothing about it.
I can't do shit.
You can say whatever you want to me, okay?
But if there's any time
to use your Scottish accent.
Now is also the time.
I definitely want some freedom from this outfit. That's for damn sure.
Now
question guys. Jada
Pinkett Smith's hair condition. You think that's actually
alopecia or it's all like the R&B singers
just rubbing her head. Oh my gosh.
Stop. What?
That's crazy. They said that her head is
like the new log from the Apollo
gross
like
you thought I was gonna
give all the gross jokes
in the intro
come on
so we gotta have
a couple leftovers
for the conversation
oh my god
you wrote that
you could have a career
oh my god
shit
that's crazy
that's wild right you gotta keep this on forever we gotta swing on you yup I swing back
you gotta challenge him to a joust
that's fire
will he just put Jada like that
and I'll use Vala
sorry Vala show the head
we got some growth yeah right vala making a comeback watch out miles
um okay what were you guys thoughts like immediate reaction was crazy on the internet
initially our car said it was fake you dropped it i thought it was fake i don't anymore but
initially i was like there's no way
that's real. And then I was watching
with Thushar and my wife and they're like, no, Chris's
energy shifts way too hard.
There's a moment, I don't know if y'all noticed, when Chris
is about to clap back.
Not like fight him, but he goes
keep your wife's, Will goes, keep your wife's
name, no, keep my wife's
name out of your mouth. And Chris goes
Nah. He was about to unload he needed to yeah he did he needed to and he we would have been completely
fine if he went crazy bleep him out whatever yeah you got slapped on tv yeah 100 like not on tv the
tv yo literally for losers the super. The theater nerd Super Bowl.
The virgin Super Bowl.
The virgin Super Bowl.
He got slapped.
Yeah.
And it's so fucking crazy because the initial reaction was like, yo, Chris is pussy, blah, blah, blah.
I don't think Chris is pussy for not hitting Will back.
I think he's pussy because he was worried about his career.
You know what I'm saying?
I thought he was worried about his career i thought he was worried about his career but i also think
like if he acts crazy if he acts professional in that moment all the execs and everything are
oh my god thank you so much for doing that and you acted like a man will you i don't know if
we can trust this person he's got issues mental health it's that the other and then chris is the
ultimate professional you know what i'm saying yeah but it didn't work out like that.
What do you mean?
We're not looking at him like that.
Not us.
I'm saying the decision makers in Hollywood.
He didn't hit him back so he could be in Zootopia 4.
He's like, I need to be doing voiceover work.
I need to do all that shit.
Which is sad.
That's the sad thing.
That's the soft thing.
What do you mean?
That's his career.
Son, Antonio Brown is not beholden to no one.
Antonio Brown. That's a horrible example
most athletes in that situation go go oh i gotta make sure that i keep my composure and i don't
you know say curse out the the coach i don't do any of that kind of shit antonio brown
said fuck it took off the jersey i do whatever i want i'm not beholden to the NFL. Now, I'm not saying you
should be Antonio Brown, but he's free.
That motherfucker is free to act however he wants
and he doesn't do what the NFL wants. He doesn't do
what the coach wants. He doesn't
do what the Buccaneers wants. He does what Antonio
Brown fucking wants. Floyd Mayweather.
Sure. He don't have no sponsors.
He doesn't have to worry about people pulling out
whatever. I'm going to sell
my next fight on my own, make $100 million,
and that could tell me shit.
Better example.
Because Chris Rock can't do movies, but he can do stand-up.
Yes.
Literally, his new tour is called Ego Death.
Antonio Brown.
Getting slapped at the Oscars and not doing nothing?
You can't have an ego about that, bro.
And he can't even come back and make jokes about
will yes he can yes he can there's two types of black people
there's black people and then there's will smith
every time black people want to have a good time will smith come and fuck it up that's good
yo will smith always wants some credit for some shit he's supposed to do.
I protect my family.
You're supposed to, you dumb motherfucker.
Be my fourth, fifth man.
I hate Will Smith.
The media.
You think when I'm at the Oscars, I'm looking at the audience for the media?
No, I'm looking for Will Smith.
That's going to be so fired okay fine
his career is his life
right like
you live and you make movies and that's your job
and that's also your life and so it's like
yeah he just defended his life by not
swinging back
that's the gayest shit man
he's in movies he makes money by being in
movies i know you're trying to disagree with us so you have to have a take but that's being genuine
i'm gonna bail him out okay bail him out bail him out how do will ran huh will ran will ran
will ran he did kind of slap them turn around quick and started moving i don't know if it's a
run i mean it's pussy of will to slap him, though. No, no, no.
That's the most disrespectful.
He's 140 pounds soaking wet.
That's the thing, though.
That's the most disrespectful.
I'd rather get punched than get slapped.
What do you think weighs more?
Chris Rock or the hair in the shower drain at Jada Smith's house?
What do you think, Chris?
No?
I'll try so hard.
Al tried so hard not to.
Yo, did they think they wasn't going to get these jokes?
It's crazy.
Like, are you, like, come the fuck on, bro.
You think you could do that and not get more jokes?
You think we're going to, from the comfort of our own home, not talk more shit about Jada?
I'll be honest with you, and I resonate a little bit with Chris, because I've been punched on stage.
Yes, yes. I have been punched on stage been punched what happened can you tell the story i was i was doing a show my first show in uh harlem yeah shout out to mocha lounge and smoky and uh i went up and i
was making fun of some puerto rican guy and i wasn't funny it wasn't even that good but i was
making fun of his ass and he walked up to me and there's no stage you're just performing right in
front of like the bar basically yeah he just walked up and I was like, what's up? And he just swung on me.
Now, luckily, they grabbed him before I could do nothing.
Yeah.
Chris Rock didn't have that luxury.
Luckily for him?
No, no.
Luckily for him.
Before I could do nothing.
Yeah.
Oh.
I missed that.
I missed that.
Luckily, they grabbed him before everybody could see I wasn't going to do nothing.
Gosh.
Let me word that correctly.
But I said that the first time.
So I get to look like, oh, I would have
fucked him up. And I remember they just gave
me the mic and they're like, alright, keep going.
And it was like a legendary story for me
because it's like, how do
you react to that? Like, I know everything
he felt
in that moment. Except it wasn't
by Will Smith on the most
famous stage possible. But in the moment going like, what the by Will Smith on the most famous stage possible.
But in the moment going like, what the fuck is going on?
But luckily they all grabbed him and threw him out.
So I didn't look as pussy as I was about to be.
Did you have a sturdy chin?
Oh, he didn't drop me or nothing, bro.
Oh, so you had a sturdy chin.
Chris had a sturdy chin, bro.
He leaned in, he looked like the shark in Shark's Tale.
Do you see the picture of him leaned in, cheesed up?
That's Will Smith.
I think he thought Will was joking.
He's the guy.
I think he thought Will was joking.
I think he was like, oh, no, here we go.
Let's do a little bit.
Then he legit slapped him, and he just says it like,
yo, this guy just slapped me on national TV.
I'm just saying, in that moment, you're not in fight or flight mode.
You're in complete shock mode.
I'm just saying in that moment, you're not in fight or flight mode.
No.
You're in like complete shock mode. Yeah.
And so I'm not like, I'm not angry at him for not doing anything back.
Obviously, you'd want to see him at least tackle him or do some shit.
But it is so unbelievable.
All of us watching are like, I can't believe this.
Imagine being there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I definitely empathize with him for that.
But like, you got to address that shit, fam.
You got to start going.
Right?
You got to say something.
Like what?
I'm going to see you after.
Something like that.
I'll see you backstage.
Yeah, boom.
Even if you don't, leave immediately.
We'll handle this backstage.
Yeah.
Hey, Will, some of us have a little bit more professionalism.
Some of us have a little bit more decorum.
The show must go on.
I need to be in Zootopia 6.
Okay?
But I'll see you backstage yeah that's
my point yeah like i don't think you fight because it's like if you fight you're fucking
up your whole bag your whole life for what your honor like no you can fight you your ego bro
ain't nothing wrong with honor he got paid 70 fucking million for doing a bunch of movies
madagascar and shit like who chris rock like he's getting paid dozens of millions of dollars to be
in these animated movies like if he fights dozens of millions of dollars to be in these animated movies.
If he fights...
You think if he defends himself,
they're not going to put him in movies now?
If he scraps and gets on the ground...
If you get slapped, you're allowed to defend yourself.
They might look past it, but...
Here's the problem. He can't do nothing.
Somebody said this. Mike Albine said this.
I would love to see if The Rock said something
instead of Chris Rock. Then is it
keep my wife's name out of your mouth? I'm going to give you one.
What if it was Jimmy
Kimmel? What if it was a white dude? What if it was Ricky Gervais?
Will Smith ain't hitting him, yo.
Yeah, that's probably right.
Will Smith, what do you think, Al? I don't think he's hitting him.
I don't know. I think
Will was fed up.
This is the thing. I think Will... It could have been
anybody. I think Will was fed up
and then he took it out
on somebody he knew
he could get away
with taking it out on.
Which is why it's so pussy to me.
He's known him for like 25 years.
But he's also made jokes.
I want to make a point about that.
He did make jokes in the past.
I want to make another point.
Nobody in that room
was rooting for Chris Rock.
What do you mean?
Keep this in mind.
All the people in that crowd
have been made fun of
by Chris Rock
for the last decade.
These are people who live in their own little Hollywood bubbles.
Nobody ever gives a pushback.
Nobody ever teases them.
Nobody ever says nothing to these people.
They don't have a sense of humor.
You go see these shows, and they're like groaning about all these jokes and then applauding when the joke is virtuous, right?
Yeah.
They have to go to these events because they want the public applause.
They want the public validation.
But they know that they're going to get caught in the
crosshairs from a Chris Rock joke and it drives them
crazy. And they were happy.
Did you see the way Samuel Jackson
dapped up Will Smith?
Did you see the way that Denzel
and Bradley Cooper?
Hey, watch it.
Denzel a loser.
No, no, no. Chill, chill, chill.
I gotta give credit.
I gotta give credit.
I'm about to come over there and smack you right in the face.
Fuck out of here, Rock.
Keep his name out your mouth.
I will.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is they were on the side of Will.
A lot of the people there are humorless.
It's not like we have actual comedians in the audience.
They can't go back and forth with Chris Rock.
So they were loving the fact that Will got up and slapped the bully.
Yeah.
I think they were rooting for it.
But again, Will Smith was the bully.
Yes.
If you get bullied and then you pick on another kid that won't do anything to you, you're not a bully.
Yes.
And Will Smith is choosing to stay with the woman that's causing all the bullying.
That's his choice. Fine fine but if that's the bed
you made you lie in it
I'm being serious with you and this is not my idea
so I can't give credit but I won't
give credit to this person because I don't want him to get in trouble
but a friend of mine was like
I sincerely believe that Jada
is a witch
like with spells
is this 1300s?
are you talking about the 1300s hold on i'm being serious
i spent the i spent the weekend up in um wherever we hung those witches what is it called
no i spent the weekend up in salem no no i was talking i was talking to somebody and uh
and they were like no i, I think she's like
a literal witch.
I think she has him
mind controlled.
He laughed at the beginning.
At the beginning.
That's what fucked him.
Yeah, can we discuss that?
Okay.
The joke happens.
It's a very easy joke.
Everybody who's watching now
has already heard it.
And not a mean joke,
by the way.
Not even that mean.
He laughs, though.
And then she gets
a little upset.
She rolls her eyes.
Okay?
She rolls her eyes.
And I think he went up there because he had to make up for the fact that he laughed.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break.
We need to talk about the infamous tour.
New York City, thank you so much.
Right now, there are only single seats available for Radio City.
That is fucking unreal.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Thank you guys so much. That's absolutely amazing. That's 12,000 tickets we sold, man. That is fucking unreal. Amazing. Thank you guys so much. That's absolutely amazing.
That's 12,000 tickets we sold, man.
That's big numbers, bro.
That's big numbers. Radio City is going to
be a night, and I'm
so fucking proud to do it, and I'm so
thankful for you guys spreading the word. It means the world
to me, so thank you guys so much.
This weekend, we're coming
to Montreal. I think those are sold out.
All we got left is Atlantic city and Vancouver.
That's it.
So, Hey, the Andrew Schultz.com.
You want to come see the infamous tour?
Those are the places.
And then, and it's a wrap, man.
Then we get out this special and then we start from scratch and that's going to be fun.
So Akash, what you got cooking?
Yo, you guys want to see a comedian make fun of people without getting slapped in his face?
If so, then watch the crowd work special tomorrow on my YouTube page, Akash Singh Comedy.
That's right.
We're doing two specials back to back.
That's what we're doing.
Also, sorry, I have to record this in my camera phone.
Miles is a dumbass.
So that's what that is.
But anyway, two comedy specials, two months.
Akash Singh back to back the crowd word special.
Check it out on my page. Hopefully Miles remembers to drop a banner right here. Peace.
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Now, let's get back to the show.
He's like, oh, fuck.
I laughed at my girl when she was feeling uncomfortable.
I'm going to hear about this for days.
Let me go stand up for her.
That's why I give him a little bit of an out you within those couple of seconds
he didn't he wasn't thinking oh this is my friend oh this guy's littler than me oh i'm gonna go pick
on him like it was just a reaction to his wife it could have been anybody hundreds of millions
of dollars you don't do that you got to think like the fact that he's getting celebrated
for this is crazy to me all say if anybody did anything to your wives you're going crazy well
that's the thing if you were defending your wife i think that it's forgivable i think most people
will forgive yeah but i'm getting two reactions to this i'm getting like my friends outside the biz going well yeah he's
talking about his wife like it's gonna happen and then i'm being my friends are inside the
biz going like chris rock was a complete professional and will smith was an absolute
buffoon shouldn't have done it i'm getting a little bit i'm getting a little bit of both
reactions but i would also say context matters if it's an innocent joke about my, mostly innocent joke about my wife,
and then he says, oh, that was a nice,
like, I'll talk to him after.
100%.
If I'm upset, I'm going to talk to you after.
I'm not going to walk up on stage
and slap you in the mouth
specifically because you're literally,
you're smaller than me.
I don't know if I can get away with it.
I guarantee you he's not doing that to a white guy.
Probably not.
Definitely not The Rock.
A big motherfucker, he ain't slapping the rock he
ain't doing that he ain't saying nothing i'm telling you in that moment you turn to your wife
and you see your wife is upset by something somebody else did you're going if he just
screamed keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth that would have been wild
but okay that's hey whatever that's crazy you don't think you don't think it's like he was
kind of enjoying it a little like what do you mean you don't think you don't think it's like he was kind of enjoying it a little like
what do you mean you don't think like his wife's out here like banging dudes and shit embarrassing him all over the fucking internet let's like stop it he's fucking he's fucking too
yeah but he's become the butt of the joke nobody very few people are like yeah but will is fucking
too they're like yo will's wife got banged out by a
child that she helped sober up that's kind of weird yes that's a little fucking twisted this
girl's a little twisted and will's a little bit of a sucker for staying with her if i promise you
if it was a guy that helped a girl get sober when she was in her early 20s and then fucked her
the guy would be a real piece of shit to everybody to everyone on earth sorry i i think what's
happening right now for will is is he realizes the fame is slipping
and he's done so much to
hold on to it. When the movies weren't
really working, he hopped on social media
and he was in every Instagram, every TikTok,
YouTube. He is by far
the most...
When I say talented, maybe Jamie Foxx is
the most talented, but he is a superstar,
one of the most engaging characters ever.
Has everything. Has the brain, has the charisma. He charisma has the look has 16 years old like a star it
genius it he's fucking awesome and he's realizing it slip away and you gotta realize the guy's 50
years old he's been the guy since he's 18 the guy his whole identity is wrapped around being
the guy and it's slowly fading away and the movie
roles aren't being handed to him like they used to the movies aren't crushing like they used to
automatically they used to and yes he got an oscar but nobody gives a fuck about the oscars anymore
people aren't talking about will in the way that they used to talk about will and i think what's
happening to him is the same thing that's happening to or happened to jim carrey like jim carrey was
the guy and the second he
stopped being the guy and slowly started fading away he had this fucking crisis dude right he had
this crisis where he's on the red carpet talking about oh life is meaningless and it means nothing
and it's like oh if you weren't the guy i guess life is meaningless right like yeah and i think
right now i mean didn't he put out this whole book about crushing his ego and all this other stuff
it's like anybody who's putting out all this information about how to live life is struggling that's a
great point life you know i was thinking that this is perfect proof of it that might be a more true
point because what i was thinking is he was not built for this age of transparency of celebrity
like back in the 90s when celebrity was very crafted he plotted out his entire career this
is how i become the biggest movie star on the planet.
And he did it.
And then it shifted to, okay, but now we want transparency from our celebrities.
Kevin Hart is brilliant at it.
I think Will Smith was like, all right, let's leap in.
And he had these YouTube videos, Facebook videos that were like cultivated and great.
But then he kept getting more transparent.
And then we're just like, you're having sex.
You're vomiting after you have sex. Like, well, this guy's a fucking weirdo a little bit. Saying all these crazy things. And it's like, yo, he got too transparent. And then we're just like, you're having sex. You're vomiting after you have sex.
Like,
well,
this guy's a fucking weirdo a little bit saying all these crazy things.
And it's like,
yo,
he got too transparent.
And you know what?
They wanted to,
I don't know if they wanted this,
but it looked like they were on the trajectory to be like the new Kardashians.
Remember?
We were like,
Oh shit.
The Smith family's like the positive Kardashians.
Yes.
Y'all can't handle the smoke.
Kardashians can,
they love the smoke.
They sit in the smoke they're born in
the fucking smoke yeah you talk about these motherfuckers all the time they don't care
yeah they still hanging out with one another living with one another loving on one another
like say what you want but those motherfuckers are tight that might be some armenian shit low
key but they are tight fucking knit and deal with craziness all the time they tried it now granted
their lives are way crazier.
Like, if they're actually swinging,
they try to do the full transparency shit,
but then not really share what the real was.
And then all of a sudden,
the real started coming out,
and they're like,
whoa, whoa, whoa,
we can't protect our image.
Nah.
And she's a bigger, like,
culprit of that than Will, I think.
Her whole Red Table talk is,
hey, let's be transparent.
She had an hour-long episode with Will.
I watched it.
I thought it was dope. The first one, where they talk about marital troubles and then you find out
a year later they're fucking everybody else and you're like oh you guys are liars you're phonies
what what what i'm just saying if it's a perspective if it's an arrangement like
that doesn't mean they have a bad marriage it could be a healthy marriage and that's what they
agreed to well in that same first hour she's like we're not
swingers we don't have an open relationship yeah okay that's like a ball like a balls face lie
yeah you think the kardashians are telling us all the truth like they tell us what they want
us to know that's the same shit if you find out they're not upset about it all right exactly we're
not lying we're not running from it all right i only had one surgery wink wink and then if you
say they had a thousand surgeries they're not slapping anybody in the mouth they love that we
say they got a thousand surgery they love it then we're talking about their asses they love every
time we talk put my name in your mouth love it yes the kardashian model kim put my name in your
mouth went on a show and got her ass like three uh x-ray x-ray just to prove to people that it was real that's how much the
shit was bothering her that people were saying her ass is fake it makes her look cooler if her
fat ass is real content like are you kidding me but the fact that you have to prove it you know
that means it's getting to you i don't think it's getting to i just think it's news and they're
gonna lean in and then all of a sudden you have this episode where it's like we're gonna get x-rayed
to see if her ass is actually like a rapper gets
their diamonds checked on the Instagram live.
Like,
yo,
let me check my diamonds.
Even if it gets to you,
it's all right.
I'm going to say it,
but if they're saying it,
I'll handle it within my show and get ratings for it.
But I'm not going to be upset at everybody saying,
and fuck you.
How dare you?
You put your life out there.
A guy made a fairly harmless joke.
It triggered something.
It's not fairly harmless because it depends on the person that the joke is.
Jada gets to decide if it's a harmless joke.
There's a video of Jada looking into a camera saying,
all I can do at this point is laugh about it.
And then she laughs about it.
Talking about her alopecia.
So, laugh about it, yo.
This is a perfect opportunity to laugh about it.
You put that out there. You didn't say, hey, don't make jokes about this. yo. Laugh. This is a perfect opportunity to laugh about it. You put that out there.
Reality is.
You didn't say, hey, don't make jokes about this.
It really bothers me.
If you said that and Chris did it, that's kind of fucked up.
I still defend the joke, but I see how you get triggered.
But if you say, all I can do at this point is laugh about it.
As a comedian, I go, oh, she says.
She can laugh about it.
Also, G.I.
Jane's hot.
And G.I.
Jane is a sex machine, yo.
I feel bad if you're
debbie moore and you wake up you're like wait someone said they look like me and they got the
shit slapped out of them she's probably like wait what what's wrong with you g.i jane see how much
i worked out for that role i looked amazing as g.i jane and jada had short hair her whole life
yeah like she's not somebody that her whole worth was her hair yeah but you know women and their
hair it's very important to them i understand that. So even if she rocked a short-haired douche, it wasn't shave.
Yeah, it was a choice.
Yeah, yeah, I understand that.
Having alopecia is an autoimmune disorder.
So if we make fun of people's disorder, that's a fucked up joke.
We just don't see it as such a serious illness.
But it is a disorder.
I got allergies.
You can't make fun of that?
That's not a disorder.
But he's also a comedian. Yeah. They knew he could be roasting and also it's not like somebody
had Tourette's and you're making fun of that she's a public figure she's not not a public figure if
she's if she stays out of the limelight and even if she stays out of the limelight and she's coming
with her husband to a thing and then you go out of your way to talk shit about her and she's not
famous and doesn't try to be famous that's that's to me that's crossing the line if you are a celebrity who happens to be married to
somebody it's actually kind of sexist to be like oh she can't take a joke your husband has to speak
on your back syndrome's a disorder yeah and if we made fun of down syndrome people we would be
fucked up that's why we never do it over here that's my point point. People with Down syndrome deserve respect and human rights and love,
and society should accommodate them.
But at the same time, as a comedian, that's my job.
I'm going to make jokes.
They deserve jokes, too.
I see you as equal.
You get these jokes.
Yeah.
And not everyone should do it.
If you show them in person, they should smack the shit out of you.
And that would be their right.
If they felt upset about the joke, they get the right to assault someone.
It's not at all.
It's actually you who works.
I misspoke.
But I mean, if they got upset by the joke, No, it's not at all. It's not at all. I misspoke. But I mean like, if they
got upset by the joke,
that's on them.
You can't just be like, hey, don't get upset.
It's a joke. But you're making fun of their disorder.
Yeah, but I'm a comedian.
Okay, but people can get upset
at a joke though.
You have the right to get upset, but you don't have the right to walk up and
slap. Oh, I am not justifying
the slap. I think the slap is wrong. That's crazy. Yeah. He have the right to walk up and slap i say i am not justifying the slap i think the slap
is wrong that's crazy yeah he's he's he has the right to be upset but you don't have the right
to act like that you can talk to me after the show you got my number you got whatever you want
if you were upset about 2016 if he i i read one person on twitter which could be bullshit yeah
that i said that will privately asked him not to make any more jokes i heard that if he did that
and chris still made the joke chris be ready bro be ready because you would just now wait say that again say that part
again that's important y'all heard what what the chain mails over here what's going on
shoulders all down my back hurts pollen
this country ass town my mind is country ass town.
My mind is country ass town.
Did you see the 2016 jokes?
Yeah.
Do you want to watch them real quick?
Yeah.
I come in, protest, and I'm like,
did you see the TV show?
Jada's going to boycott the Oscars.
Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties.
I wasn't invited.
So, is that justification to get slapped? No, but...
Seven years later. Not at all, but if it is
true what y'all were saying that there was
a conversation between Will...
That's not verified with this whole story
somebody made making that shit up on twitter it's one person said on twitter so you don't know if
it's real or not yeah if it's real that's a different thing i tend to believe it's not
because again chris rock is aware of how thin he is the motherfucker's swimming for exercise you
know i mean like he know he ain't fighting you're not trying to fight a guy who played ali and dove
was saying that chris rock has had a broken arm and that he's been in a cast or in a
sling for the last few months.
It's possible that
the arm ain't even working. He just took
off the sling or whatever so he could deliver the
jokes. Now, I don't know if Will Smith
knows this, but if he does, he's
double pussy because he knows that Chris ain't
going to come back. I don't think
Will knows that either, to be fair, but it's
still a pussy move. I mean, Chris Rock
gotta smash Jada. Oh my gosh.
100%.
Jada would do it.
Will have the Oscar. You take home
the Golden Globe.
Are you talking about her head?
Jada's head.
He gotta smash the mother.
Oh!
She's the first vampire. You take her out and then all the others
normalize go to will be like call me daddy now
is it crazy that they let him stay the rest of the fucking insane that i couldn't believe it
that's insane okay i couldn't believe that's where you call out hollywood you do that shit
you do that shit oh we gonna talk about hollywood about Hollywood because all these motherfuckers care about is their
stupid fucking awards and nothing else matters outside of it.
I mean, they gave Roman Polanski an absentee award.
This is the guy who's a legit pedophile, convicted, living in France where you could do that.
Gave him an award.
Half the people stood up clapping.
Fucking crazy.
These guys are such pieces of shit.
Shut up.
There's a little bit of Hollywood in you still
a little bit
was the penis that good
the guy wasn't even Jewish
who played it
Adrian Brody is
oh yes
is he
I thought you said penis
he has a big nose
don't make him a Jew
I literally thought
he was Italian
could be Italian
yeah
so alright
the point is
he gets he doesn't get kicked out I mean you do this in a basketball game you're
kicked out you're suspended you do literally anywhere you're kicked anywhere you're kicked
out you don't get kicked out there because we all know that they know he's gonna win yes right and
they don't want to fuck up the live show and they don't want to make a scene yes and they don't want
it to be bad i was assuming he would get kicked out and then they would give the award to somebody else 100 they should have slapped our fucking presenter son
it's crazy you ask this guy to come here and present an award and then he gets attacked then
the guy who slaps him sits there and gets a fucking award at the end of that and people are going nuts
for him that's foul crazy dog and what's crazy is that he wasn't one of the hosts will smith was nominated
for the oscar he had the power before the award to say i'm not showing up if chris rock is
performing and roasting or you hit chris and go yo if you say some shit about my girl i'm gonna
beat the shit out of you beforehand suppose that like you think he knows who said it to him already
he's assuming that if that's true if that's We're assuming some random tweets are true. Sure.
That's not verified in any way, shape, or form. But I think it's safe to assume that he probably didn't like that he was making fun of his girl at the 2016 shows.
Yeah, but I also don't know if Will said anything.
Will's the kind of guy who let his wife fuck somebody else and stay with her.
But he should have.
The question on Twitter seems to be, why is Will Smith so upset about a joke about his wife not um his wife hooking up with other guys oh
like that should be the thing that makes you more upset and i think tom segura even said it like we
know who you really want to slap but you can't slap that person so you're slapping the people
that are talking shit yeah i don't know we don't know what goes on in their private house i think
they have an open uh open marriage it's pretty clear people
have people know girls will has fucked and the fact that the public knows that i think he's
probably fucked 10 times more so then why does he slap chris rock because he's that protective of
his wife fed up he's been he's been the punching bag he's been the punching bag for the past
three years why is he the punching bag if it's an open marriage?
Why can't he talk about how open he is?
I think, honestly, he's doing that to protect his wife.
That's what we're saying.
Everything is to protect his wife, and his wife ain't protecting him.
His wife is out there like, yeah, we had an entanglement.
Yeah, she wasn't even.
When you watch that, she wasn't even remorseful.
She wasn't even remorseful.
She was almost angry that he brought it up.
When he says entanglement and he questions the word, she gets irritated.
She's like, that's what I said, entanglement.
Like, bitch, you cheated, bro.
No, it's nothing wrong.
Even if it wasn't cheating, you know I look stupid.
And you out here angry that I brought up that you fucked up.
We're supposed to keep this on the low.
You couldn't control and keep it on the low, and I look stupid you're angry at me i'm the one getting embarrassed and then i call
you out on wording and you get yeah that's what i said no it's not what you said i agree with you
guys she could be a witch bro i mean that there's only one way yeah you know a take that's never
seen them on an island this is a bit of a cucky take but it's out there that he is in an emotionally
abusive relationship and that's why he cares so'all never seen them on an island? This is a bit of a kucky take, but it's out there that he is in an emotionally abusive relationship.
And that's why he
cares so much about
what she thinks
and her reaction
to something.
Akash,
can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Please.
Would an emotionally
abusive person
date someone who's
like 25 years
younger than them
get into a relationship
with them?
That's a good point.
He's not like
a drug addict
or anything.
Yeah. Would the emotionally abusive person do that maybe yeah maybe yeah controlling emotionally abusive person might get in relations with someone fresh off a
drug habit there's needing you think maybe they would do that of course she's emotionally abusive
bro okay so i don't understand how that's not coming up more and it's all will the fact that
he's being celebrated for this is fucking mind-boggling.
Who's being celebrated?
It is 50-50.
Will is being celebrated.
For what?
It's 50-50.
If you talk about my wife, and it's a lot of the same people who talk about-
Ain't nobody talking about your wife because your wife keeps her mouth shut.
You know what I'm saying?
It's very simple.
All of us got girls, we got wives.
We are choosing not to make them public figures.
Yeah.
They are choosing not to make our lives public.
Yes.
Maybe you get little shots of our life.
But it's not every little fucking bit of trials and tribulations that we go through.
They want that.
Context matters.
Your wife is not his wife.
You want to talk about alopecia, about your struggle with alopecia and how you're getting
over it and all that stuff, but then you don't want the world to also talk about it.
Yeah.
That's not how the world works.
You can joke about it, but nobody else can.
It's a disorder.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
You retarded.
We talk about you.
Yeah, but I can take it.
And it's like, I told you guys that because I know the jokes are going to come.
But it's like, just because she's talking about her alopecia.
She's monetizing it.
She's not just talking about it.
She's monetizing it, saying on a thing she gets paid on i just have to laugh at it that's i'm
gonna watch that and say the bitch could take a joke then i don't know i still not the okay to
make fun of a disorder yeah and one that probably affects her every day he also didn't say like i
have alopecia but it was from stress and sleep when I wasn't sleeping at all.
And I had fucking crap circles in my motherfucking head.
That's true.
I remember that.
And I had to fucking shave and just do fine hairstyles where I can hide it.
And that shit was annoying to deal with.
It was sensitive.
It sucked.
If you guys made.
No.
Drew knew about that.
And Drew didn't make jokes.
Yeah.
Well, because I'm very sensitive to hair loss.
But I'm just saying.
Men lose their hair all the time.
We're supposed to be sensitive about a girl doing it.
That's equality.
I'm just saying you take shots at everything.
I do take shots at everything.
So the fact that you didn't do that, you felt like, hey, maybe I shouldn't take a shot at that.
That's not it.
It's because you were working like 22 hours a day and I felt bad.
That too maybe.
I didn't want you to stop that.
I actually cared more that you worked 22 hours a day than you had hair yeah that changes things if i had known you
had alopecia i would have definitely made fun of you a lot yeah why didn't you tell us no but
i thought his name is short for alopecia we call him out i really did think that for a long time
they said no it's alex with two x's i'll see how things. But you didn't talk about it. You didn't make it a thing.
If you had said on this podcast, all I could do is laugh on it, I'm going to make fucking
jokes, dog.
If you told me that off podcast in private, it's a very different thing.
I handle it very differently.
And that's not even, all jokes aside, I'm going to handle that completely differently
than a person who preaches transparency, vulnerability, and the ability to laugh at yourself. I'm still not
justifying Will hitting him, but he
has a right to be mad and stand up for his wife.
You always got a right to be mad
and stand up for your wife.
And stand up for your girl. That's the thing that people
like, we never ever say you're
not allowed to not
you're not allowed to react
a certain way to a joke. Everybody's allowed
to react whatever way they want to a joke.
That's fine.
Like you can be angry.
You could fucking spike someone.
Walk out of a comedy show.
Leave.
That's completely fine.
Yeah, like all those things.
It's when you start interrupting
or when you put your life on someone else,
it's super entitled.
It's super privileged.
Like he did the most Karen shit ever.
He stopped the whole show for how he felt.
It wasn't even how his wife felt.
He didn't even check to see, hey. No, no, no. It was all about his wife, how he felt. It wasn't even how his wife felt. He didn't even check
to see,
hey,
no,
no,
no,
it was all about his wife,
how she felt.
He saw the role.
Hold on,
hold on.
He assumed his wife
wanted to be defended
in that moment.
He did not lean over
and go,
hey,
how are you feeling?
Is everything okay?
I'm about to go
fuck this guy up
or whatever.
It happened.
It happened too fast for that.
It happened way too fast for that.
He assumed.
She looks at him And goes
You're gonna let him talk to me like that
Now you blaming the woman
Like you always do
Why was she talking like that
Why was she dressed like that
She might have said that
And then
And we didn't see that
And then he's like
Alright fine
I gotta do something now
Cause he laughs at first
And it looks like he's gonna laugh
And a lot of times
You can say that
With just a look
There's an angle
Where she casts a spell bro
There's an angle dog
You can see it
She does some shit And then Will just wakes up Literally Just walks on over And just laughs Where she casts a spell, bro. There's an angle, dog. You can see it.
She does some shit.
And then Will just wakes up. Just walks on over and just slaps him.
So I hear what you're saying.
I just think he's making an assumption
and he is stopping an entire show
that a lot of other people are there for.
There was somebody who their whole life,
corny it may be,
but their whole life was about that award.
They got nominated
for Best Actor
and then they lost
to the guy
that slapped everyone.
Or the director thing
that he was giving away,
the documentary.
I feel bad for Questlove
because Questlove
won that.
Wait,
what doc was that again?
Questlove got emotional
and nobody gave a shit.
Summer and Harlow?
But isn't that crazy?
A movie dedicated to him.
That shit was fire.
He stole Questlove's moment
yeah he stole his moment
he stole his moment
who I think died
and then Will Smith
is gonna ruin that moment
for that guy
because he's upset
about how his wife feels
Will did the wrong thing
yeah
now again
I'll say this
at shows a lot
and this motherfucker
sorry to cut you
but he had a whole show
about stand up comedy now
that's on
oh yeah that's a fucking irony
isn't it
Roku or some shit like that
yeah you're gonna put on
a bunch of comedians but then you're gonna dictate what they can and can't say get the
fuck out of here dude get the fuck out there's also a lot of jokes i didn't see chris's whole
thing but like every oscars monologue has little it's the kind of roasty right like ricky gervais
goes up there just like you know you're getting with chris rock yeah you know you're getting and
i'll say this and i'm gonna definitely say it more often now but at shows i'll say shit like yo i'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings i understand i'm five
seven i can't fight so if i hurt your feelings just give me a little thing and i'll move on
but there are people coming to a comedy show they're not fucking hollywood celebrities
living a life of transparency you sit in that chair you could get jokes that's what it is and
don't preach equality and women can do anything they want to and then think
that your wife can't take a joke when she's a fucking celebrity and has been for 30 years i
just don't like the thing oh you can't take a joke like yo jokes can make people feel however
they're gonna make you can hurt your feelings but you can't take a joke you can't take a joke if
you stand up and slap somebody you can take a joke if it hurts your feelings and you talk to
somebody after that you still you handle it the right way you couldn't take that joke if you stand up and slap somebody you can take a joke if it hurts your feelings and you talk to somebody after that you still you handle it the right way you couldn't
take that joke but in a completely acceptable fashion but if you can't take a joke to the
point that you stand up destroy a fucking lifetime achievement for so many people make it all about
you and your wife slap a skinny kid in his face then go sit down and talk shit it's like bro
that's not you can't take a joke you can't take a joke
she can't take a joke i was kind of thankful for the moment because that shit was great
that shit was fine we benefited that shit was fine i didn't know we're gonna talk about today
now is all we have to talk we were salivating i was so excited i was at a party yeah and this
shit happened i rewound everybody takes out their phone. Like the whole party stops.
Like everybody's dancing,
having a good time and then you just see
how it's like boom, boom, boom.
Everybody's having their phones out.
Like it's just the whole party.
Just people locked on, right?
All right, guys,
we're gonna take a break for a second
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back to the show i rewound the thing and then taped it to send to you guys i was like guys we
got it oh yeah we got it and did you see this though yeah let's go to will's acceptance speech
crying and shit so sad to do what we do you got to be able to take abuse
you gotta be able to have people
talk crazy about you
in this business you gotta
be able to have people
disrespecting you
and you gotta
smile and you gotta pretend like that's okay
I wanna
apologize to the academy I wanna apologize
to my fellow nominees.
That looks like an edit.
Yeah, but it's not important.
This is a beautiful moment.
And I'm not crying for winning an award.
It's not about winning an award.
It's not about winning an award for me. It's about being able to shine light on all of the people,
Tim and Trevor and Zach and Sanaya and Demi and Anjanew
and the entire cast and crew of King Richard and Venus and Serena,
the entire Williams family.
They did everything.
What'd they cut?
So they cut.
Will Smith gets on stage and he goes,
Richard Williams was a fierce protector of his family.
And he made it as if he was doing what Richard Williams was doing.
And he's like, he's carrying on the legacy of Richard Williams
by protecting his family.
Richard Williams.
Sometimes loves make you do crazy things.
Sometimes loves.
Yeah, that's a bullshit justification.
Murderers could say that and get off.
Yeah, Puerto Ricans be murdering their wives and shit and their girlfriends all the time for love.
Literally every abusive person can say that.
You see Romeo and Juliet?
That's love.
That's the final day of a Puerto Rican woman's life is the man gets to finally admit that he loves her
by murdering her on her deathbed.
Prove his love.
Yes.
What a ridiculous thing.
But he says,
basically, I'm carrying on the legacy of Richard Williams
by protecting my family.
Richard Williams took two little black girls from Compton
and made them the greatest ever at an all-white sport
from nothing.
Defied all the odds.
Will Smith couldn't take a joke about his wife who has cheated on him and is probably possibly emotionally abusive
they're not the same you're not richard williams you're not a fucking hero and people clapped
that's how delusional actors are and that's how much of a like world of like grandioseness they
live in they put themselves on such a pedestal oh i am richard
williams no you're not though you're a fucking genius who got 800 on his sats and then you made
brilliant career moves and now you're emotionally abused and you can't see that that's the thing
you're not richard williams who was also a little crazy but the guy was fucking
i mean he did some beyond improbable shit that's a great point you are not at all richard williams and
comparing yourself to him is insulting insane yeah insane and then he says like i am here god put me
here to be a river through which some shit flows it is all just it's a crazy person that's kanye
what kanye did to taylor swift is nothing compared to this and kan Kanye was vilified. And we're looking at Will Smith like, nah, this guy did it.
What did he do?
He slapped a skinny kid, dude.
Yeah, he did.
I'm telling you, if you did that shit to The Rock,
even Joe Rogan, you would have my respect
because you're ready to go to blows with somebody
that could probably fuck you up.
But you did it to Chris Rock.
Will Smith can fight.
He probably did a bunch of training and shit.
Hey, you do it to Joe Rogan, another stand-upup he makes a joke and you're upset and y'all roll around
hey man you went for it knowing this could not end well for me yeah if he does it to you with
full armor respect true that's also fine that's the thing that bothers you the most i don't like
bully behavior in general but that's bully behavior maybe it's because i'm little but i don't think i
do it to somebody smaller than me i think your size is i don't think i would do it to somebody smaller than me and i have said this to everybody in this
room probably at some point like yo i don't want to be overly disrespectful because i'm mindful of
how little i am and i think that's fucked up that oh i've been here longer than you or i whatever
so i can say any crazy shit to you and you won't beat me up because i'm small i like that i like
that a little dude got fucked up though why is that they Why is that? Because they hide behind themselves being little.
See, that's what I'm saying.
I won't do.
I've said that to you, Al.
I'm not going to cross a line with you because you would kick the shit out of me.
Not because we can't kick the shit out of you because we look like Will.
And that's why I don't cross that line because I don't want to take advantage of that.
That's smart.
But there are not you, other people that are little, cross that line all the time thinking
they can hide and have little there.
And they can get fucked up, but Chris Rock didn't do that.
Say again?
Chris Rock didn't do that in this situation. No't like the chris rock i fucked up but little
people need to get checked yeah if you i'm acting crazy i'm with you on this go ahead keep going
little people walk around chirping all their shit with their high voices squeaky ass voice heads up
in the air yeah yeah looking up at you talking looking up at you talking shit like i'm not
gonna slap the shit out of you talking to me little boy if your chin is looking up at you talking shit. Looking up at you talking shit. Like, I'm not going to slap the shit out of you talking to me, little boy.
If your chin is tilted up and you're talking shit, you're crazy.
Yeah, fuck you.
You should get slapped.
Yeah.
If it wasn't for little people, how are you going to get your suit off then, huh?
Say again?
Yeah, if you don't have your squire, you're going to be fucked up.
That was not little.
No, but your squire back in the day probably was mad little.
No, squires were big, bro.
They had to reach the top of you with the helmet.
They were children, bro.
They were children?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
No. But that's not little, son of a bitch. You done lied They were children, bro. They were children? Yeah. Are you sure? No.
But that's not
son of a bitch.
You done lied to me again, Mark.
That's not little people either.
That's children.
Yeah, but children are mad short.
Yeah, but they can't talk shit.
You know what I mean?
They can't do nothing.
All right, yeah.
Okay, so in conclusion.
Does he keep the Oscar?
I hate that he didn't
apologize to Chris.
That was fucked too.
It was intentional too.
I apologize to the Academy. Fuck you. Who's the Academy, dude? That's the thing. He Chris. That was fucked too. It was intentional too. I apologize to the Academy.
Fuck you.
What was the Academy, dude?
That's the thing.
He's worried about his job too.
Of course he is.
He's worried in the same way Chris Rock is worried.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a video of him singing fucking Wild Wild West or some shit.
Getting jiggy with it.
Getting jiggy with it.
After party.
With like a look of concern.
Like he's trying to get jiggy with it, but he's also like, I fucked my up didn't i like oh he's leaning in have you seen his social no what do you do he
posted uh him and jada he's like oh shit we brought the chaos tonight and oh that was after
i don't know i think that was before uh he commented on it his son made a tweet yeah that's
what we do type of thing comment oh you can't bring anybody from South Philly or.
Or Baltimore nowhere.
Yeah.
So this is his Instagram right here.
This is after.
So he posted this, me and Jada got all dressed up and chose to choose chaos.
This is afterwards?
I don't know the timing.
No, the comment though.
So this was 22 hours ago.
And then the comment was two hours after that.
You can't invite people from Philly or Baltimore nowhere. Yeah, that why yeah that was after the slap that's after motherfuckers leaning it
i wait is she bald girl oh my god i thought she got a little caesar or something i didn't know
i thought that was a mega mine from the disney car i did not know
oh i hope we'll fuck both you niggas up bro like real talk why would you hope that because why
would you hope that because you would do the same hope that if he's saying this about y'all wives
you would you wouldn't do shit but you would fuck him up nah you talk to the guy after like this
again even if i could fuck you up i'll talk to you fuck you up after even everything you said
if you talk about my wife everything you said about jada today will said that about your girl again also
different you're not hitting them also different because our wives aren't celebrities they don't
put themselves out there yeah you put themselves out there i swear i would look at you and be like
and it would be a fight and i'm not great at fighting with my wife but it would be a fight
where it's like hey you also gotta understand that comes with this life. I'm going to defend my wife.
And that's exactly what he's crying about.
I'm going to defend my wife, but I'm also...
Wait, what was that?
That's what he's crying about.
He's like, oh, as a celebrity, I just have to laugh it off and be disrespected over and over again.
Can we talk about you have to put up with abuse after you abuse somebody?
Being in this life, you have to put up with abuse.
Nobody is saying that what he did was right.
It's delusional.
This guy's fucking crazy.
Him hittingris was wrong
but him standing up for his wife yo stand up for your wife bro in private if there was just a story
of him slapping him after or backstage or some shit like that if there was just story everybody
would be on his turn out his video he's got the best instagram content yeah 100 that's a completely
different thing than embarrassing this fucking guy who's also a celebrity and then just making
him deal with that for the rest of his life the joke was so little like it was not a big joke the jokes that we said
were crazy yes if if will if what's his face said what's his name again chris rock said one of the
greatest comedians of all time and the inspiration for me being a comedian if chris rock said the
shit that we said yeah it'd be like yo like low-key
we'll sit in there like what the fuck did i do like that's you know why are you talking to me
like this is crazy bro like why you gonna make me kill you on live tv i get that 100 i get that and
we would never come here and say those jokes if he didn't do what he did but you do what you do
the same plain and simple.
You think we're going to come here after the Oscars for no reason and do all that?
I mean, Jada got a lot of those jokes.
Say again?
Jada got a lot of those jokes.
Online, bro.
Not online.
No, no, no.
I'm talking about here.
With the August situation.
Yeah, but not about baldness.
Not about her alopecia.
Not about her disorder.
I didn't know she was bald, bro.
I'm talking about her.
I thought that was a choice.
Is it possible Chris didn't know?
That she was bald?
No, that she has a disorder. That's also possible. I don't know how tight they are. Is it possible he's't know? That she was bald? No, that she has a disorder.
That's also possible.
I don't know how tight they are.
Is it possible he's like, oh, yeah, you got short hair.
You look like G.I. James.
And she also looks great with short, thin, no hair.
So many women have shaved their heads.
Yeah, like, is it just a lookalike joke?
I'm just saying, that's it.
It's like, he didn't know that she has a disorder.
Perhaps.
We don't know that. And he didn't write the joke. But we don't know that he does. And definitely the It's like, he didn't know that she has a disorder. Perhaps. We don't know that.
And he didn't write the joke. But we don't know that he does.
And definitely the person who wrote it probably didn't know, just sees that she's got a shaved
head.
They're not doing this reason.
They're not following her fucking hairstyles.
And like you said, Shorty has had short hair her whole life, practically.
I didn't know it was a disorder.
I didn't either.
I just found out.
I did not know until then.
Really?
Yeah, I did not.
So that's probably what it was.
So he didn't know.
No, no, no. You guys didn't know she had al alopecia you didn't know that alopecia was a disorder no i didn't know she had alopecia do you think what do you think we think how dumb
do you think we are this guy retarded what did you think we thought alopecia was i didn't know
if you knew if it was an autoimmune disorder what it's what it is. I'll be trying to tell you. Put the helmet on, dawg.
Put the helmet on.
You don't need a helmet, bro.
That reminds me of school when I had to wear the hard helmet, bro.
You would look fire at that, though.
Yeah, there's no way.
Chris probably didn't know, made the little joke, said it was nothing.
Then we all find out that she got this fucking disorder.
Now it's a bigger deal than it is.
But he wasn't making fun of a disorder.
He was making fun of a hair kite choice.
And if you choose to cut your hair like that without having a disorder which is probably
what he thought then it's okay that's your choice you think that looks good so i'm gonna go after
it she does look good with a bald head she does i ain't gonna lie she's a beautiful woman absolutely
that's my point though i think if will comes out and goes and like trashes chris saying like yo
why are you making fun of my wife with the disorders a lot of people are affected by this
all over the world blah blah i think christmas ends up looking bad but now we'll
try to like be a macho dude about it and then now he looks like a clown i mean how insecure is he if
he's doing that that is radical insecurity like i know i'm insecure if somebody looks at my girl
when walking down the street and i want to fight him i'm like that is that is insecurity right
there but it's real it's a real feeling it's real. It's a real feeling. It's real, but it's not confidence.
It's not confidence.
That is major fucking insecurity that he is getting up in that moment where he knows he's
winning the Oscar.
The motherfucker's sitting front row practically.
You know it's your night.
They got a private table.
It's just them.
You got the table to go get the Oscar.
It's your night, even with all of that going, to have that type of vulnerability in your relationship.
Shorty's not going to love you if you don't defend her from a joke.
What is...
You guys have kids together.
You've been to a...
She's a witch.
She's a witch, bro.
I think she might be a witch, dude.
You might be right about that.
Listen.
He's under a spell.
Hypothetical.
Maybe a sorceress.
Maybe a voodoo.
Yo, sorceress sounds way better.
Witch is too...
It's derogatory. Derogatory, yeah. We got to give her credit. She's high level. She's not amateur. She Yo, sorceress sounds way better. Witch is too derogatory.
Derogatory, yeah.
We got to give her credit.
She's high level.
She's not amateur.
She's a sorceress.
She's Maleficent.
She got the most powerful man in Hollywood.
Yes.
That's sorcery.
The red woman, bro.
It's not witchcraft.
It's sorcery.
Give her her credit.
The red woman with the red table, bro.
This woman out here is not to be played with.
I think the person that looked the best in it was Lupita, though.
Why?
She just sat in the background
just got all the screen time.
And she had a baldy for a minute.
She's like,
what's wrong with a baldy?
Yeah, exactly.
Like, y'all really fighting over this?
Like, I haven't had this haircut
my whole career.
And I don't know anybody
that thinks she's unattractive.
Lupita.
Beautiful.
She just looks amazing.
Imagine being in the background
of the most viewed video
of all time.
And then just looking bad.
And you're just like,
mm, mm. And just like, posing. It's just amazing. That's the best scene in the background of the most viewed video of all time. And then just looking bad. And you're just like, mm, mm.
And just like,
posing.
Yeah.
That's the best scene
in the house.
What, Lupita's?
In the Will Smith angle.
Oh.
Unbelievable.
I feel like it's gonna be
great for her career.
Am I crazy for this?
What, that she's gonna
get a career bump?
Yeah.
Mark didn't know
who she was,
and we went on.
I saw her.
She's one of the best.
I had to tell him,
he's like,
yo, who's got
no-name actors behind her? She's gonna have a career. I was like, I don't know, she's been in huge her. She's one of the best. I had to tell him. He's like, yo, who's got no-name actors behind her?
She's going to have a career.
I was like, no, no, she's been in huge movies.
She looked like the girl from Jordan Peele's movie.
She didn't look like her.
Oscar winner, guys.
She is the girl from Jordan Peele's movie.
That's why I didn't recognize her, bro.
She's also from Black Panther.
Yeah, I didn't watch that yet.
You haven't seen Black Panther?
No.
You've got to see Black Panther.
Yo, it's great, man.
I know.
Black Panther.
I'm saying, this is hypothetical.
What if
Yeah give me that hypothetical
What if Jada had cancer
She didn't tell people
And that's the reason
Why she shaved the head
First of all
Lick if she didn't
Tell people
Second of all
There's no way
She would have cancer
And not tell people
And have a conversation
Sit down with the whole
God damn family
The whole fucking clinic
Everybody else
That ever had cancer
Talk about
Talk about how
Will's the reason
She got it And called the fucking cancer Probably take somebody else that ever had cancer talk about, talk how Will's the reason she got it
and called the fucking cancer.
Probably take somebody else's
fucking spleen
or whatever
who had the cancer,
steal it from their ass,
sorceress.
This woman is a sorceress, bro.
Thank God you found
a better word than witch.
Yeah.
Witch sounds derogatory.
Yes, it does.
Yes.
What is that other word
I'm looking for?
It's a pejorative.
Yeah.
It's a pejorative.
Yeah. It's a pejorative. Yeah. Witch. But sorceress is'm looking for? It's a pejorative. Yeah. It's a pejorative. Yeah.
It's a pejorative.
Yeah.
Witch.
But sorceress is like a compliment.
It is a compliment, dude.
This girl's sorceress, bro.
All right.
Can we talk about something else?
Have we concluded this?
Any final thoughts?
Do you guys have a final thought?
Do you guys have any jokes you didn't get out?
Should we get them out now?
No, bro.
Not a single one?
Oh, is it cool that Chris didn't press charges?
Say what?
Chris chose not to press charges.
Yeah, he's from Brooklyn.
Society chose it.
Nothing is...
That's my point.
Is it Brooklyn or is it...
Oh, I'm...
You can't press charges.
Chris back into such a corner
with that.
Nothing he can do.
And people are saying
take away his Oscar.
Shut the hell up.
He got the Oscar
for the job he did.
Ain't nobody want to
take the second...
You don't want to get
second place and get the
trophy off of technicality.
Yeah.
Yeah, like you already won it.
Even if they take it away,
you won one.
You won one.
Also, all the people
nominated are like
bad motherfuckers.
It would kill him
if he lost his Oscar.
It would kill him
if he lost his Oscar.
He won it for the movie.
That's it.
You know why Denzel Corny
because he apparently
said to Will,
this is what I heard,
he said,
that was your highest moment.
And it's like, really? That?
Not opening number one at the box office eight times in a row?
Is that what he did? That was your highest moment?
Yeah. And then he said something like,
be careful because the devil's going to come for you.
Bruh, that was the devil. Who said this?
The devil was the one looking at you
after you laughed at a joke like, you really going to let
that happen?
Where'd you hear this?
Son, I be hearing shit lip reading and going in here
seeing the japanese telecast and having a camera going up to him and like who's that bradley cooper
yeah i went up to will smith and they were like yo you'll get through this bro like they went up
to him like hugged him during the break i think they were trying to just like calm him down make
sure he doesn't go crazy how about somebody about somebody check on fucking Chris, dude?
Nobody cares.
He ate that shit.
Somebody said Carlos had a tweet that was like, yo, Chris Rock got no friends.
That motherfucker got slapped.
Nobody's saying nothing.
Yo, not a single person jumped up to separate even.
Yeah.
I mean, have it quick.
What are you going to do?
I mean, did it?
It's a long walk, bro.
They had music.
Everyone thought it was a skit, too.
That's what I was thinking.
Everyone thought it was a skit.
I thought that that was a skit. Chris Rock thought it was a skit. I thought that day was good.
Chris Rock thought it was a skit.
They got a laugh in the room.
That was the only slap I ever heard that got a little pop going.
Yeah.
Nah, that's true, man.
Fuck.
All right, guys.
We need to take a break for a second because some of y'all are going Jada, Pink, and Smith,
and you don't have to.
Okay?
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month free keeps.com slash flagrant now let's get back to the show and then the japanese broadcast
is the only one that...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow, they cut it out or something?
They cut it out of the U.S.,
but Japanese and, like, Australian didn't have it cut out.
You want to play the Japanese?
Wait a minute.
They pre-recorded it, you're saying?
This isn't live?
No, there's, like, a 15-second delay.
So because everything happened,
they just dumped a bunch of...
Oh, my God.
You can see Will Smith saying it,
but you don't hear it.
But luckily, there's a Japanese broadcast
where you can hear the whole thing uncensored.
Have you heard it?
Yes, please translate the Japanese as well, Andrew.
I can do that if you want.
I had no clue because I heard the,
I didn't know it was Japanese,
but I heard the agent in the background.
Yeah.
Now, do you want to guess before the translator translates
what it's going to be in Japanese?
Yeah, I can say exactly what it is.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.
Pause.
Okay.
How do you think that's going to be translated in Japanese?
It's about to come in?
Yeah.
I think it's Honey Monster.
Honey Monster.
Honey Monster.
Okay.
That was pretty, honestly pretty close.
Don't ever say I'm racist.
That was honestly.
Don't ever say I'm racist.
That's not too great of a quote.
Don't ever say I'm racist.
That was Shia LaBeouf.
Don't ever say I'm racist.
Okay.
Did I not just say it?
Did I not just say it?
It's what I do.
It's what I do.
Okay, a father protects his family.
Yeah. Okay, it's what I do. Okay? A father protects his family.
Okay?
It's what I do.
Oh, shit.
Fuck out of here.
Y'all thought y'all was setting me up to be racist.
And then no.
Well, yes, and then no.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh, bro.
Uh-uh, bro.
Don't ever stop me. You want to keep going?
Yes, I can fucking keep going if you want me to keep going.
Shit.
Let's see.
My wife's name out your fucking mouth. Honey Monster. going if you want me to keep going shit let's see honey monster honey monster wow dude yeah it was a g.i.j Proper names.
That's not bad.
I'm going to.
Okay.
I'm going to.
I'm going to?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Well, actually, Will is more.
Dana White posted on the gram Let's go
That's what he was doing
Yeah he held back
Oh this is the funniest part right here
So we are here
To give a documentary out
To give an Oscar.
That's the best part.
I had a great tweet when he noticed that.
It was so flustered.
We're here to give a documentary out.
We're going to give it out.
We're going to give the documentary out.
It's an NFT, actually.
We're giving the documentary as an NFT.
That is the best part of that whole shit right there.
He literally said, oh, I could.
You could what?
Oh, I would love to know what you could.
It would have been awesome.
No, he was about to go in.
It was the out the mouth thing.
Yeah.
That's what he was about to hit.
Guaranteed.
Keep my wife's name out your mouth.
Just fucking go.
Keep other dudes out your wife's mouth.
That's what I think the comeback was about to be.
That would have been so good.
He would have got it.
I mean, that would have been good.
I mean, if he said it's a groan,
and then Chris Rock is an absolute superstar,
the tour sells out the next day.
His tour's probably doing fine.
Maybe.
Hey, Chris Rock.
Maybe he is Chris Rock.
That's a good point.
I'm just saying.
You never know.
Yeah, he would have gone to that
as like all-time greatest comeback.
I mean, yeah, yeah.
I mean, he's in the shower right now probably like, God damn it.
Yeah, he missed his moment.
I had so many.
He's got lines.
Everyone's texting him perfect jokes.
Yeah.
He probably watched this.
He's like, I should have said that.
All right, guys.
We are back.
Mark, let's move away from the Oscars for a little bit.
Don't you think?
Let's do it.
Let's do a little feelings, no facts, maybe?
Feelings, no facts.
This is all feelings, no facts at all.
We know nothing.
What do you got for us?
Roma Abramovich is dead.
What?
Okay, he's not dead.
He didn't die.
No.
He's the owner of Chelsea, Russian oligarch,
and is suspected to have suffered poisoning.
Interesting.
Who do you think is trying to take him out?
Arsenal.
Head coach of arsenal
no for real what is it you think it's the kremlin no no one knows so the allegedly's
are the hardliners that want to sabotage the talks oh so these are people we don't know but
it's obviously being permitted that talks can happen and he's a part of it between
they're in belarus and so he's part of the negotiation between russia and ukraine and two ukrainian peace negotiators were said to have also been
affected yeah so maybe russia poisoned them at the negotiations yeah in order to not continue
negotiating fam poisoning is old school how do you fuck up russia against that
that's why they're not a threat,
actually, I've realized,
because they're too in the Stone Age
with this shit.
You think?
Like, still doing this kind of warfare
is mad ancient,
mad antiquated.
We're still poisoning people.
What is this?
Grow up.
And like, what happened, though?
Like, you just got sick for a little bit?
Yeah, and even kill them, bitches.
Yeah, like, what is that?
Yeah, food poisoning.
He said, piercing pain in the eyes. Oh, wow. Yeah. Huh? said piercing pain in the eyes oh wow yeah huh
piercing pain in the eyes and then and then they uh recovered is he i mean come on so shortly after
allegations emerged an unnamed u.s official was quoted by reuters as saying and this is again
from reuters that the intelligence suggests that the men's symptoms were due to environmental
factors not poisoning at all oh Of course. Of course.
So, what do we think?
I don't know, but that's wild, man.
Poison?
Yeah, poison's a wild one.
Well, that's what happened to an old boy.
What's his name?
He's the U.S.
He was like the U.S. pick for Ukrainian president.
I forget his name.
Zelensky.
Not U.S.
No, this is common. All dissenters against the government yeah victor yukashenko you remember when we thought we would care if zielinski said something
at the oscars yeah we forgot about that will smith russia might have had him do that oh that way
zielinski don't have to talk and nobody cares shit yeah so this so basically like this was during an
election like early 2000s you had uh yushchenkoko, who was kind of like American-backed.
His wife worked in the White House, tight with all them.
And then you had a Russian pick that was another Ukrainian guy, but was tight with Russia.
And the two of them were fighting for it.
And the American dude got poisoned.
And then he has like a skin condition
ever since oh my god wow they don't they still to this day are like we don't even know what does
that that's fucking oh my god yeah he has grayscale yeah that's it they gave him grayscale bro holy
shit yeah dude yeah russia is some real live Game of Thrones shit. Yeah. Yeah.
They got dragons, probably.
I would believe that.
Wouldn't surprise me.
I would believe that.
Putin is Daenerys.
100.
Yeah.
Yeah, that other guy, Alex Navalny.
Oh, yeah.
He's just locked up in prison.
Yeah.
No, he died.
No.
I think he did, right?
No, no. I think he just got locked up.
Navalny?
I think he's still out here tweeting.
He recovered and then he got locked up. Yeah. Yeah. But he's the one that flew back and they were like yeah put me in jail i'm
about it right but yeah bro the poison is just crazy yeah i don't know man that's why you gotta
cheers every time you gotta cheers that's what cheersing is yeah when he looks someone in the
eye you go yo cheers and then you drink at the same time to make sure you didn't poison it
because they're drinking too.
Yeah, but they could just poison your drink and be fine.
Why would that change anything?
No, you switch drinks.
And you also make sure it's poured out of the same thing.
Yeah, I think back in the day it was just poured from a bottle of wine or poured from a beer.
I thought it was to clink the cups and get the water to participate in each one.
You just made that decision.
No, I didn't.
No way, bro.
No way.
I didn't do it.
I didn't pour it I support Miles
Yo Miles is crazy bro
Look how hard you cheers
Yeah like
Get out of here bro
Is it Oktoberfest
Every time you're at a dance
This guy's crazy
A giant of beer
Flies in the air
I support Miles dude
I think he's right
Is this a Chili's commercial
What are you even googling right now
How to make a lie real
Is that what you do
Yo google
How to make a lie real
What's the easiest way
Was drinking Was drink toasting Originally a way To avoid poison Clinging glass Is that what you do? What's the easiest way?
Was drink toasting originally a way to avoid poison?
Yes.
The clinking two glass together would cause
a liquid from both to spill into one another.
Man, stop.
No, that's not true.
From what?
I believe it.
It's an EDU site.
What is EDU for?
Educating. Educating both you dummies. Fuck, Mark. I thought we were on to that one. Thereityinsights.edu. Educating.
Educating both you dummies.
Fuck, Mark.
I thought we were onto that one.
There's no way that's what it is.
Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.
This is like a researcher being like,
yeah, we suspect that the original, whatever.
Yeah, right?
Miles Cage is the right one.
Mark brought up Chew's cup.
You brought up Chew's cup.
And it was look at each other's eyes.
And now you can't even.
Mark said it was to look into each other's eyes.
I don't have a better point.
What about a stupid same cup?
Oh, it's honorable.
I looked into your eyes.
No, because you push it and then you drink from the same shit.
Why do you have to look into the eyes?
You're saying it's wayward.
There's nothing with the eyes.
To make sure when you're doing it, you're not slipping some shit in their drink.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
And then someone goes, whoop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Y'all never been poisoned.
You don't know nothing about poison.
Y'all are fucking idiots when it comes to poison nah you wrong
you stupid
damn bro
well according to this it says it was a
ceremonial traditional thing
so we're both wrong
don't drag me down
that's hate bro
you would rather they both be wrong than just Miles be right.
We're both wrong.
That's weird.
That's crazy, dude.
Thank you for saying you were wrong.
Okay, what else we got?
Mariquita.
All right, male birth control.
Yeah.
It's hitting the market.
How does it work?
There was one that came up back in the day,
and then it went through clinical trials,
and they got rid
of it and uh but what it basically did is like paralyze the tail of the sperm so it wouldn't
swim and so you just like leave this load of like crippled fucking sperm in your girl and then
they just don't go for the egg at all christopher reed sperm yes 100
so uh yeah but i don't know how does this one work how does it make you not get pregnant i don't know
there's a bunch of different ones it seems like the pill it says like testosterone dropped
uh in such a way that like the it's not producing viable sperm oh that's terrible i don't want to
know that bro and then there's like a gel injection that apparently does one of the
like retard
sperm that got extra strength yeah oh and they can swim no matter what yeah and then apparently
there's side effects too so like some people in the study reported like headaches acne weight gain
they also reported some of these in placebo groups so it's not necessarily just that isn't
that basically the same side effects as female birth control yo i did a i had a joke about that
shit but like all these are the
same side effects that came out and then the studies came out for them and then we were like
nah this is too dangerous it's like what kind of idiot would actually take this stuff just to not
get pregnant but them girls were doing it man yeah it makes more sense that they would do it
they bear the cost yes of the pregnancy they're doing it. They bear the cost of the pregnancy.
They're doing it to make sure they don't get pregnant and then get fucked over by some guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A guy's doing it.
It's a super, you're a cuck.
You're a big cuck.
This is literally for athletes, right?
Yeah.
Oh.
It's like for athletes, rappers.
But then if it fucks with your testosterone, you can't have it.
Rappers, you can.
Athletes, you can't fuck with your testosterone.
That's the reason you're there.
Oh, shit.
I'm not going to drop my testosterone at any cost.
That's a great point.
There's athletes who won't even take like Proitia so who is this for like finance bro
like back in the day you wouldn't have done it what male birth control yeah like early 20s when
out here just slinging no i was rubbering up but instead nah no no because these girls are burning
bro you're fucking with the wrong girls though you think yeah you can just look at a girl and
tell if they're burning how do you tell you just know what do you do what's your sign look funny
they off guaranteed 100 off yep yeah i can spot aids i can spot all that yes you can yeah he
believes that yes you can you didn't diagnose yourself for 30 something years yeah that's true
you can spot everything but retard is that it is that part of like you know
how like when people it's his rain man retardation he can just spot you know you get to count cards
like dogs can smell cancer and shit like that or whatever like that do you have like an extra
super sense yeah just for t-cells and you smell chlamydia yeah it's kind of amazing actually yeah
damn al i'll tell you i'm nice man you nice, dude. I'm not just strong hands, bro.
You have other things.
You have other abilities.
It seems risky for dudes to do male birth control, because if a girl does birth control
and it fails, she still has options.
You know what I mean?
You could take an abortive pill.
You could have a full-
Oh, but if our shit fails-
I'm keeping it.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Yeah.
So there's still risk.
So I'm like, I don't know what dude necessarily
would go for that unless maybe like you're in a marriage and you're like all right we can
work this out yeah but the lower testosterone is weird yeah like i don't know if dudes want
to sacrifice that also you already get older your testosterone starts to get lower and that doesn't
stop us from impregnating these girls i don't know if that's necessarily a side effect with
this specific one people are talking about why would the risk be different because if women birth control fails
it's the same shit but they have the power to get aborted we can tell them how we feel
but they can't it's like if we're choosing this versus another birth control yeah i think that's
what mark's yeah you're a professional athlete you're hooking up with some girl it's like rubber
up and you get her pregnant because your male birth control didn't work she's just like yeah i'm having your kid yeah whereas if you use a condom and it doesn't break
you're like okay i'm good oh probably good whereas if you're a girl let's say you're some like major
finance ceo and some random dude hits it like and you get pregnant because your birth control as a
woman didn't work you can still get an abortion because it's ultimately you're the one carrying
the kids so you have final say gotcha whereas with a dude you're like yeah shit yeah i don't know man so maybe if you're married like that
would be good play but if you're just out here slinging dick in the streets i feel like you'd
still wrap it up i think so you got to wrap it up you just got to worry about the other stds
yeah you know what i mean like were you really worried about getting girls pregnant every girl's
on birth control pretty much like i don't know as long as you're not famous you don't really
got to worry about getting girls pregnant i feel especially in New York every one of these girls on birth control like literally
everyone so did you worry about that shit yes really I mean yeah I don't think I would worry
why would you worry what would make you worry buddy were you having sex with girls that aren't
from New York no actually no I wasn't really yeah it was new york it was all new york girls wow yeah and you
were just unloading the clippy son i got some swimmers yeah bro spin the whole block oh oh you
were you were pulling out i was pulling out yeah for the whole nut or for a part of it i don't know
probably but he would run it back probably 100 oh that's what you do and then that's what people
don't realize if you pull out and then fuck. That was one time I did that.
And then did that work?
I mean.
You got got.
Yeah.
Every single time, bro.
You can't do it.
Once a night or you rubber up.
Yeah.
Facts.
And then you're good.
Is it going to be bad for society?
The dudes are like, yo, I don't need a condom.
Yes, dude.
Ever again.
Just run it.
Dude, herpes is going to go crazy.
Yeah.
Like, uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Also, this is perfect timing like you come right
out of covid like nobody's seen each other and all of a sudden we got male birth control like
like they haven't had this shit on deck for a minute i think they just realized we'll put
anything in our bodies now yeah you know what i mean like we don't need no clinical trials nothing
just let that shit go oh okay i don't gotta worry about getting girls pregnant bet let's go i don't
think they want us out here fucking they want us out here partying like it boosts all industries alcohol nightlife everything goes up
yeah everybody's best interest for society to be out there fucking also how much is it the birth
control like how much would it cost to not get girls pregnant i'm i'm trying i'm curious about
that it might be cross prohibitive man what do you mean if it it's 200 a month, I don't think dudes are buying it.
No, I don't know how much it is.
I don't even know if it's actually released.
I think this is, again, like another clinical trial thing.
Most likely it will be a prescription just like female birth control.
Yeah, and insurance will cover that.
And insurance covers it.
Dudes don't get insurance, though.
That's also true.
Dudes don't get insurance.
There's a raw dog in the world.
Yeah.
Okay, what else?
One more.
Okay, do you want to talk about
tiffany haddish getting asked about her uh her costume show i love a little costume change
um i'm not wearing a costume i'm wearing toche gabbana it's called an evening gown darling
this is not no one's paying me for this i paid for it it. It's custom. Thank you. Time of death for me right now. You look gorgeous.
This is not an acting gig. This is my life. This is what fame looks like. This is what
success looks like. This is what money looks like. This is what it looks like. This is
what it looks like.
What is your book coming out called This Is What It Looks Like? And I will just read the
entire book.
That book's not coming no time soon, but But I curse you with joy will be out in November
And later that I like unicorn will be out next month
I'm just you know trying to accomplish a lot of things before 50
What are you doing? Well, I'm wondering something
From Chicago and you are here no shoes on this is warm
weather to me i know it's hot out here to you right she's actually sweet with her then she was
no that was shade that was shade yeah that was shade absolutely i feel like look at you like
you're lucky you don't have to be wearing she decided to save her a little bit that's how you
mask it but it's like she's like what the fuck are you doing barefoot on the street?
Why did she say costume?
Why did she even say costume?
When would you even say that?
She misspoke.
Costume change and wardrobe change are close.
Come on.
Costume change you do with theatrical performances.
Wardrobe change at like a wedding event.
So this is only racist because she's black. who's that yeah nobody's there evidence i think they're trying to yeah yeah yeah
that's what that was they're saying that this race they're saying it's racist because she's
a black woman so she's wearing a costume where if it was some white actress she'd be wearing
her wardrobe or outfit whatever i didn't take it that way outfit change. I'm glad. I got to get out of this racist mentality.
Yeah, you do.
Well, then why is this a big fucking deal?
Calling her a costume.
That's what I feel.
That should be more insulting to Dolce & Gabbana than her.
Why should she take it personal?
No, she just like, don't call my clothes a costume.
Also, why would she pay for that?
Why can't you just tell Dolce & Gabbana, I'm going to wear your shit to the office?
Yeah, there's no way in hell she'd pay.
Oh, maybe they didn't want to dress her.
Then don't wear their shit. That's on them. They also were canceled a while ago. Yeah, that's no way in hell she paid. Oh, maybe they didn't want to dress her. Then don't wear their shit. That's on them.
They also were canceled a while ago.
Yeah, that's true. And they had like, what'd they have
on their shit?
It was like racist ass.
Was that the ones that had like the little
black kids wearing the crazy sweaters?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know. I don't think it was DJ.
I just wish she stopped a little bit earlier.
Like she could have did just a couple burns
and then just kept it moving.
But it went a little too long.
I don't think it was that bad.
Y'all think it was bad?
She should have got slapped.
You want me to slap her up?
All right, I got a hypothetical.
This is the last one, okay?
So apparently this girl's dad
subscribed to her OnlyFans.
G's up.
And that led me to the question is it better
if you if you had a daughter that had an only fans would you rather it be super successful
or like a huge failure and no one wants it oh that's tough failure failure yeah you'd want it
to be failure but i mean if it's successful you just she's just going down this path forever
yeah what incentive does she have to get out of it?
Also, I'm definitely going to subscribe to my daughter's OnlyFans.
What?
Son, she's not going to post crazy shit if I'm a subscriber.
Oh, that's a good point.
No, yes, she is.
That's a good point.
She's going to post crazy shit, and now you're looking at your daughter like that.
She's going to post crazy shit knowing her dad is looking at me naked?
Yes.
Looking at me naked.
You're the weird one who's subscribed to a fucking only fan or you make
an only fans to compete with her and just shut her down or that that'd be my that's weird you
gotta shut it down you want to sign up to your daughter's yeah you tell her yo you want to have
his only fans i'm signing up huh you want to have his only fans i'm signing up okay and then what
if she blocks you you're gonna ask for my password dummy I'll make dummy accounts. Yeah, it'll be Netflix.
I want you to sign up for my daughter's OnlyFans.
I will be there.
I'll do that.
Tell her you're going to jerk off to it.
I'm not going to jerk off.
But tell her that's what she thinks about when she's posing.
Listen, she's what, 20 years old?
You don't think I'm going to look at your daughter's little pussy on her OnlyFans? Oh, my God.
She's 20 years old.
She's 20, old She's 20 bro
Come on
It's for the streets
21 at least
21
21
That's for the streets
I'm gonna wait till your daughter's 21
To jerk off to her OnlyFans
Yeah
Got you fam
Come on
It'll be a different time
It'll be 20 years from now
But only if my daughter's on OnlyFans
Don't do that shit
If she's just regular
But if she's OnlyFans
That's pussy for the streets
Correct
Correct
That's pussy for the streets Correct That's the thing If my daughter on only fans y'all can look at her
pussy on only fans yeah if she on only fans i don't believe she will be i want you to tell my
daughter you're looking because you fail that's not her fault that's your fault exactly you done
failed your daughter why am i looking at your daughter's pussy hole spread oh my god why
because of you i'm angry at you i'm sending you pictures like why did you do
this that i'm doing damage control i'm telling her hey look look nah bro you can't let it get
to there looking at you can't let it get there because i'm gonna have to step in too when i
when i'm after i look through all them pictures i'm go i'm gonna call yo what the fuck well why
are you assuming it's like dumb hardcore what if it's just feet say again what if it's just like a
little feet same same do same bro that shit is off it's all feet? Say again? What if it's just like a little feet? Same. Same. Do same, bro. That shit is all.
It's all porn.
Come on, son.
You can't be allowing
that shit, bro.
Come on.
I don't know if I say the same.
Tell her to put them
feet on Instagram.
I look on Instagram.
I don't need a password
or nothing.
Instagram is for the people, bro.
Yeah.
Instagram is for the people.
That's got to be the rule.
If you're a dad
and your daughter's on OnlyFans,
don't be upset
that I'm looking at it.
Be upset that you done
fucked up to the point where your daughter's on only fans
right or wrong i agree angry at me angry at me i'm still it's still weird you're gonna sign up
for your daughter's only fans that's strange bro why support policing yeah but you're supporting
her and now she's gonna keep doing that shit supervision i kind of know what he's saying he's like yo hey he's gonna text you like hey i just subscribed and then she's gonna keep doing that shit I kinda get what he's saying he's like yo hey
he's gonna text her like hey I just subscribed
and then she's gonna be like I gotta get a different one
I gotta make a new one I gotta
duck this yeah it's like when your parents come to your show
or whatever you wanna you know
adjust the jokes I don't but some people do
hmm
you know what I mean or your wife or something
adjust the jokes
this guy doubles down.
I get him on stage like,
Laddie!
Laddie!
Put it in me fanny, laddie!
You're a little over with that.
What's up, Chicago?
Facts, though, I should.
My mom just fucking crying out of embarrassment.
Poor one.
But yeah, I don't know.
Do you adjust your shit if your girls' folks are there or something?
Girls' folks, I probably would.
Definitely not wife.
You got to be able to laugh at this.
But parents, my parents have been to one show and I didn't cuss.
Really?
Yeah, but I was like, yeah, I did it at a show.
You didn't cuss?
No, I didn't cuss.
But it was a show where I could probably, should probably not cuss.
It was like I was hosting something.
And I was like, y'all can come to this because I know I'm going to be clean on this.
Other than that, don't come.
Was it easy to be clean?
Yeah, because my jokes aren't that raunchy.
So I just don't cuss.
It's like being around a kid.
You just watch what you say in terms of cussing.
Did they watch Bring Back a Pooh?
My dad said he watched it.
My mom probably watched it but my mom my mom probably
watched it but didn't tell me because i'm like don't watch it really i want to see it yeah why
i don't know i don't it's like a big there's a big respect thing with indians where it's like
i have to be a certain way around my elders so i don't want you to see me how i am with everybody
else i know you're gonna know that i do it like i'm tell you what it is but I don't want you to see it like I don't cuss around
my parents to this day
no I don't they know I do it
they'll hear me doing it with other people but like
if my parents are in the room I'm not cussing
it's a different thing
meanwhile you're signing up to your daughter's OnlyFans
yeah what happened to the respect
he wants to support his kids like how his parents
didn't watch his shit
also what I jerk off to
Is my business guys
This guy's wild bro
This guy's wild dude
He's gonna jerk off to his own daughter on OnlyFans
Why are you saying it's only her content maybe it's a collab
Oh man somebody just
Scissoring that up
Maybe your daughter
Oh my god
The other podcast
The Flagrant 3 Dude the Maybe your daughter. Yo, my daughter and your daughter? Oh, my God. The other podcast?
The Flagrant 3. The Flagrant 3.
Dude, the Flagrant 3 podcast with my daughter.
Yo, that'd be a little crazy, bro.
I'm not going to lie.
That'd be a little crazy.
My teeth hurt.
Is that COVID?
I think that's poison.
I think it might have been poison.
It might have been poison, bro.
It's the ATO
By Will Smith
Yo, it's a possibility
Yeah
Or Jada
Oh, that's Jada's sorcery right there
Alright, we gotta stop this podcast right now
Like a lead suit you're wearing
Wait, wait
Guys
Oh, shit
Guys, everybody chill
Fuck out
Okay
We gotta stop this podcast right now
Yeah
Okay
Guys, we love you
And we appreciate you
Okay
We got a very special episode Coming for you later we appreciate you okay we got a very special
episode coming for you later in the week and of course a very special papadione so make sure you
tune the fuck in patreon.com slash flagrant2 or right here where you're watching or listening to
this thank you guys so much peace