anything goes with emma chamberlain - living alone

Episode Date: June 18, 2020

Moving out is a big step in anyone’s life, but those responsibilities are such a drag. Emma dishes on the expectations vs. the realities of moving out and living on your own. From moving around to different locations, to doing all of your own cooking and cleaning, to meeting new people and missing your family. And when could it be time to move in with a significant other? Oh, and that leaky faucet isn’t going to fix itself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys, welcome to anything goes. I'm Emma Chamberlain, this is my podcast, anything goes. I have a neck cramp from the way that I'm sitting right now, so maybe I should readjust. I'll lay on the floor. Okay, this is not working. All right, y'all. Before we get into this episode, I just kind of want to catch up. For starters, I've been cooking recently. Okay, this is a whole new hobby for me. Let me talk about it. So I've been obsessed with watching cooking TikToks,

cooking videos, like anything about cooking, I've been obsessed with watching it, especially cooking TikToks because you can just go on one account and then you can just keep scrolling and you just learn so much. So after watching only cooking tiktoks for literally a week straight, I now have realized that I like cooking. I used to not like cooking because I was like afraid of the mess or whatever

but that is in fact what a dishwasher is for. So I've decided that I'm gonna start making cooking a part of my routine. Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna order food like probably half the week, but I don't know, cooking's been crazy, I kinda wanna tell you guys like some things I've been cooking. So number one, I've been making avocado toast.

I'll tell you my recipe real quick. Whole grain toast, hummus, avocado smashed on top, a little bit of onion powder, salt, pepper, chili flakes, a little bit of lemon. And then if you wanna get crazy, you can add a fried egg that's fucking amazing, but I don't always do that because I'm lazy. That is my avocado toast recipe.

Please try it. Next recipe, I've been making, I've been taking frozen vegetables and warming those up in the microwave, like steaming them in the microwave. And then I cooked tofu on my stove in olive oil for like five minutes and then I seasoned it with salt and pepper

and sometimes sesame oil or something. And then I put it on top of the vegetables and then I take like some fun sauce that I find a whole foods and put it on top. Thai curry is good, fucking make your own sauce. I've been making my own sauces. I did one that was like sesame oil, soy sauce, salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion, oh no, no onion powder, just garlic powder. And I was gonna add a little bit of honey, but then I got scared that that was gonna make it taste bad. So I didn't, but I heard that that would be really good.

So I've been making my own sauces and stuff, and like, fuck, like I'm just cooking, and then, oh my God, last night, last night I made the craziest vegan pizza. It looked really ugly, but it tasted so good. It was an almond flour pizza crust with pesto on it, tomato sauce, vegan mozzarella, vegan sausage, olives, oregano, chili flakes, a little bit of olive oil, and I think that was it. And that was really amazing too and then I put a

little bit of nutritional yeast on top and I was fucking amazing so moral this story is I've been talking about me already for so long so we should probably move on from that but I've been cooking recently and it's actually been really fun the thing that I never realized about cooking is that the key part about cooking is making sure that everything is properly seasoned. That is something that I never thought of before. Like, I never realized how meaningful seasoning was until I started watching all of these cooking tiktoks. Because everybody is heavily seasoning everything. And that is what makes homemade food taste good.

I just had no idea nobody ever told me. So that's what I've been doing, just seasoning everything to the max. You have to season everything individually, right? If you're making the vegetables in tofu that I put together, I season those separately. Like I season them and I do different seasonings for them. And then when I put them together,

it's like this dynamic moment of a bunch of different flavors. I've also been making salad dressing, which my recipe is very simple. Lemon juice, dejan mustard, olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic or onion powder, whatever I'm feeling that day. Those don't really make a difference. You can really taste it. And then yeah, so that's my salad dressing recipe. Great on everything. I've

been eating it on butter lettuce because I love butter lettuce, but you guys are sick of hearing about me talking, but it really segues actually into today's episode, which is living alone. I feel like I've already talked about living alone before, which is why I like held off on doing this episode because I swear to God I already talked about living alone before, which is why I like held off on doing this episode because I swear to God I already talked about this. But I thought that I'd go and depth about the truth of living alone and like, what it's really like. What it's really like?

You know, because I feel like everybody, there's just so many things that you don't realize about living alone until you live alone. And then you're like, oh, fuck. So let's get into it. First, we're gonna start out with all of the responsibilities that you just never knew that you were gonna have. Number one is cooking for yourself.

It's weird because I feel like, I was always like, oh, I cooked for myself, like whatever. It was all fun and games until I left my mom's house, okay, because she used to cook for me all the time. And I used to be like, yeah, but I cook for myself too. And then I realized that all I knew how to cook was like a bagel in like pasta, which is not necessarily gonna keep me nourish and healthy.

I did not know how to cook vegetables or anything that was relatively healthy. I always kinda left that to my mom. You realize so quickly that you're gonna need to learn how to cook or you're gonna need to be ordering food for delivery. But I do think that that's a really exciting part about becoming an adult is like learning

how to cook, right? Like, it took me two years of living alone to finally be like, okay, I'm at it's time to start learning how to cook. But I'm here now and I've been cooking and it actually is really fun and I've been really enjoying it, which is so shocking to me because I never thought that would happen. But in the beginning, it's tough because you're just lazy. I feel like when I first moved out, I was so lazy. Like chores and stuff like that, I was just so mad that I had to do my own chores.

I was so mad. And I didn't want to do them. So then I just got a cleaning lady and would leave all the chores for her once a week. And then in between, my fucking apartment was just like a, so slow, it was a slow decline of mess. Until eventually, like everything was gross and then she would come and then everything would be good again. For the next week, you would just slowly get worse

and worse and worse. So I mean, there's that. Number two is like maintaining, is like maintenance. Okay, like when you're a kid, I don't think that you really are thinking about like what you're supposed to do and like your syncs stops working. Like when I lived at home, if like my syncs stopped working,

I'd be like, mom, the syncs stopped working, and then I'd go lay in my bed and pick my ass for the next hour. And then my mom would be the one to call the maintenance dude. My mom would be the one to get that fixed. And it just never even would cross my mind. After telling my mom that something was wrong in our apartment, I would then stop thinking about it.

But when you live by yourself, a problem like that could go on. Like for example, my drawer, I have a drawer in my house that it like is one of those that you have to push on it, and then it comes out of the wall, right? Well, it kind of sometimes just doesn't work. Like it sometimes doesn't stick in the wall. Like the drawer keeps popping out, and I keep tripping on it and stuff.

And I just have been too lazy to call my maintenance dude about it, so I just have been letting it be like that. And it's driving me nuts, but because I'm the one that's going to have to call and be like, hey, I want to get this fixed, I just haven't done it. Or one time in my shower, I have two shower heads or two shower nozzles in my shower. I have two shower heads or two shower nozzles in my shower. So one that's like, you can take it off of, you can take it off and you can use it. It's like a handheld shower head. And then one is the overhead shower head. And the little knob that switches the water from going from one to the other was was jammed and I just was like,

I'll just keep it on this setting for a while, instead of fixing it. And I just don't get why I'm like that. I think it's a kid thing, still to this day, I'm so lazy about getting shit fixed. And it was easier when I had a landlord, but now I live in a house, and so I actually have to call my own maintenance guy,

I can't call my landlord. Now I actually have to call my own maintenance guy. I can't call my landlord. Now I actually have to source someone to fix it. So that's a whole new level of responsibility. Another thing is like doing your own laundry. I am so bad at laundry that I actually, my cleaning lady actually does my laundry. She's fucking amazing. She's my queen.

I literally have to have her do my laundry because I'm so bad at it. It just, I'm just so bad at it and it would never get done. Because I changed my clothes so many times a day and I stay in so many clothing pieces throughout the day while wearing them that I literally, my laundry pile

by the end of the week is astronomical and I literally can't do it by myself. It's stress, which is like so sad. Oh my God, that's actually so sad. Like, what am I gonna do when I like have children and like, I'm married and I need to like do laundry and I'm like, yo, I'm gonna have fucking have to have my husband do my laundry, which like, you know, that's not his job,

but maybe it is. Do you know what maybe it is to stop? It's like not anybody's job with my own to do my laundry yet. I feel like in a marriage I would be like, you know, that's not his job, but maybe it is. Do you know what maybe it is to stop? It's like not anybody's job with my own to do my laundry. Yet I feel like in a marriage, I would be like, no, you can do my laundry or else we're getting divorced. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's an all in one place to make an online space

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or I lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like, what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But State Farm can help you with some of those big what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But state farm can help you with some of those big what-ifs. They're available to answer your questions day or night. You can reach them 24-7, file a claim on the state farm mobile app, or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind.

Like you good neighbor, state farm is there. Call or go to statefarm.com for a quote today. The next thing about living alone that I don't think people realize is how weird the silence is. Like the silence when you live alone is so loud. It's so loud. Like you have to be playing music or listening to a podcast or something

when you're home alone because it just feels weird when it's just so quiet. Like I think that that's something that I didn't realize when I first moved and it would have been really helpful for me to know or to try out. Like if you are just living in a quiet house or a quiet apartment all the time,

it's gonna drive you insane to make you depressed. You need to be playing music, you need to be playing podcasts. It makes you feel less alone and it doesn't, it stops you from getting all trapped in your thoughts, you know what I mean. And that's a huge problem with living alone. It's so easy to just lay in bed and drift into your own thoughts and just kind of get sad, you know.

Maybe start doing shit that's not healthy, like going and looking at photos of you with like your X best friends or something or Go and start stocking You're like eighth grade crush that like turns you down and you know looking at pictures of him and his girlfriend And then you go into his girlfriends account and then you know like shit like that happens when you live alone a lot It's so easy to just go do shit like that, which none of that's healthy. And so that's why if you're like playing music, playing a podcast, watching a movie, doing whatever,

that really helps. Another thing that's tough about living alone is like, if you're really upset about something, like you have nobody, you can call people, but you're like alone. You know what I mean? Like you can call people, but you're like a loan, you know what I mean? Like you are a loan, and if you're like me and you know your family lives a six hour drive away, or even some people a six hour flight,

like you can't just go drive over to your parents' house and be like I'm not okay, or your siblings' house or whatever, like you're kind of on your own, and that's another really tough thing, and I feel like what I've not okay, or you're siblings house or whatever, like you're kind of on your own. And that's another really tough thing. And I feel like what I've gotten really good at doing is when I'm having a tough time calling people immediately, you know, not like allowing myself to like slip into this toxic sad mindset.

Instead, I just call people, talk my feelings out, and then move on. But it's hard because when you live alone, you're like, no, I don't need anybody. I don't need to call anybody. I can handle this. I'm just having a really bad mental breakdown, and I'm really upset, and I'm crying and screaming. But I don't need help. And then, you know, next thing you know, you're fucking in your bed and you're crying, like laying face down in your bed with your ass in the air, like fucking crying and like no one's there to help you and it's so easy to spiral when you live by yourself.

It's really easy to spiral. So I know for me, I, whatever, depression and anxiety, I got them, many of you all got them. And those things are things that like spiral super easily, right? Like all of a sudden, like one minute you're good, and then the next minute you're having, I think anxiety is actually a lot worse with living alone than depression maybe.

At least for me, I struggle more with the anxiety side of things living alone than I do like being depressed. I mean, living alone can make you depressed for sure because you're like, you know, it just can. I don't know why, I guess, because you're just by yourself and you have no distractions and you're kind of just stuck in your head and, you know, whatever. But I do think the anxiety element is worse and it's really easy to spiral.

I know I do this all the time, you know, like I'm laying in bed and I start just getting anxiety about things. And you know, it's 1 a.m. and I'm like, fuck, I can't call my parents right now because they're sleeping. And like I'm not gonna call my friends about this because they don't wanna fucking hear about this. This is not, that's not any fun to bring up.

Hey, like I mean, obviously it's good to bring things up to your friends, but that's something I'm still, I don't know, I don't like to call my friends in the midst of a breakdown. Maybe that will change one day, but for now I don't do that. But it's really easy to sit there and be by yourself with your anxiety and you're like,

shit, I don't know who to talk to. Like, I need to kind to help myself right now. I can't go into my parents' room and wake them up. I have to figure this out on my own. Some ways that I've found, some things that I've found that help. Honestly, it's as simple as watching something. I usually watch something. I'll go on Netflix and I'll watch a fun lighthearted documentary.

Recently when I've been getting anxious actually, I've been watching this series on YouTube. Through the YouTube channel Vice, they have one of their people on the channel do, they call it one star reviews, and it's this fucking amazingly charming guy that goes around and he goes to places that have one star reviews, and he goes in there,

and he will get a piercing from a one star review, piercer guy, or he'll go to a relationship therapist, that's one star, or he'll go to a restaurant or a buffet, and then he tries it out, and it's really funny, and then he confronts the owner and the whole thing's really awkward, but funny. I've been watching that a lot when I get anxious at night, watching episode or two of that,

and I've been really loving that. Also, watching Netflix documentaries has been really fun, even if they're like kind of upsetting, like I watched one about like a conspiracy theory the other day and then I watched one about like a criminal case with like the the unibomor if you know what, that's the unibomor on Netflix. That one was really interesting.

And even though it was not necessarily like the most comforting thing to watch, it was just a distraction. It just kind of got me out of the cycle of being anxious. And I think the thing that you have to remember at night, if you're getting anxious especially, I mean, you can get anxious at any time of the day, but I'm more referring to night time, you can't call anybody, you're stuck in your own mind by yourself. Just remember that when you wake up in the morning, I can guarantee that at least 50% of that anxiety

will be gone, if not all of it. Do you know how many times I get anxious about something at night and like go down in a complete spiral about like something so so dumb and stupid? And then like I wake up the next morning and I'm like, I'm a why were you anxious about that? Are you fucking stupid? No, I'm a why were you anxious about that? Are you fucking stupid? No, I'm not stupid.

That's how anxiety works. But, you know, it usually ends up being fine the next morning. So it's just getting yourself to sleep in a healthy way and then you're over it. But that is something that I didn't realize, you know, how you kind of have to learn how to deal with your own issues, you know?

Like, you can't rely on others to alleviate your anxiety, your feelings of depression, your kind of on your own. And it's tough. But I think that I've found a lot of great coping mechanisms, I think that I've found a lot of great coping mechanisms, you know, in a lot of ways to help with those problems, you know, over time. And I think that it's actually made my problems less severe because now I know how to handle them by myself and I'm kind of forced to handle them all my own. But I don't think that you expect

that. Like so, I don't know that's why I wanted to bring it up. Anywho. I know that we have been talking about this for long, but I got so many amazing questions that I'd rather just get into questions now about living alone than to continue just rambling because who gives a fuck? You guys don't give a fuck we're getting into questions. Somebody said are you looking for a roommate? No, I do not want to have a roommate. I love living alone. If it was up to me I'd probably never live with somebody but I know that when I get married

I'm probably gonna want to see. This is why I'm gonna have to marry somebody who's really who really minds their own damn business because I am gonna get frustrated if I live with somebody and they're all up in my shit all the time Do you know annoyed that would oh how bother me like I don't know I feel like maybe I feel like guys Maybe you're good about that like they're more Hmm I can't stereotype here who knows but I've never had a roommate and I've and I've never wanted one to be honest, because I really don't like sharing my space. And I also, there's something so special about living,

it's not special, but there's something so freeing about living by yourself. It's like, sorry, that was a huge burp. I've always thought living with a roommate would actually make my anxiety worse, because I would feel like I didn't have any privacy and privacy is so important to me. And even though living alone has its own problems,

I just feel like having a roommate. Like, I do so many weird things by myself. Like sometimes I just walk around like without pants, you know, or like sometimes I shower and then I get into bed and I'm naked or something. Like I don't wanna have a roommate because then I can't do shit like that and like that's freeing to have that ability.

Or like if I wanna cry and like scream on the phone with my parents about something I'm upset about, like I wouldn't have that freedom if I had roommates. Somebody said, do you have to do your own taxes? I literally don't know how the fuck to do that and it's stressing me out. I don't do my own taxes because I am in the same boat. It really, really freaks me out. It scares me. I'm super uneducated. I have no idea how any of it works. So I do have somebody that does my taxes for me and I am very grateful for them because I have

no idea how it works and they've helped me through that process. So that's been helpful. But yeah, I know, both of my parents have people who do their taxes as well. And so I think that was just something that was automatic. I just was not going to do my own taxes because I don't get it. I literally don't get it. Somebody said, how do you deal with your finances, spending money when you live alone for the first time?

For me, I needed in the beginning, I got a lot of help from my parents about budgeting and all of that and making sure that I was being financially responsible. And I think it's just getting in good habits. And I mean, I think I live my life constantly like trying to balance, you know, obviously sometimes you wanna treat yourself, you know what I mean?

Maybe you wanna get a nice meals from somewhere, maybe you wanna buy that new piece of clothing that you've always wanted and that you've been like kind of thinking about. Of course those things are really important and great, but I try to be really mindful. I try to live every day thinking about how I can spend the least amount of money possible and I've made that a habit.

But don't get me wrong, I still, it's not something that I'm obsessive over or something, but I think it's just a mindset, you know, like just being mindful of things that are like not worth the money, you know what I mean? And being able to separate those things and not being impulsive about spending, being thoughtful. Let's say you really want like this new pair of boots, right? And you're like, oh, I love these boots, I wear them every day. Well, don't buy them right away, you know, wait on it for a month and see if you kind of forget about them.

And then if you don't, then you buy them. That's what I do. So like, if something is like eating away at my mind for like a month, that's like a bigger purchase. That's when I'm like, okay, maybe I need to do it because, you know, you fucking yellow and, you know, if you can, might as well, right? But, um, but yeah, you know, just being smart and not like not impulsive. This episode is brought to you by liquid IV. You might think that hydration is only necessary after intense crazy activities like working out. But if you think about it, running errands is still running. That's why liquid IV powder hydrates you two times faster than water alone, with three times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks. I am a big fan of liquid IV.

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moving out is like a huge part of growing up. And I think it's, you know, crucial to, I mean, not crucial. I mean, everybody has their own situation, but I think that for a lot of people moving out as crucial for kind of taking that next step into adulthood and having that independence, because it kind of forces you to fend for yourself

in a way that you wouldn't and that you can't when you live with your parents. Even when my mom comes to visit, like I will, I start relying on her again. Like I literally like forget how to do dishes. Like and I get lazy. And I feel like when I'm, when I live alone, I hold myself so much more accountable

for like getting things done. And so I think that having that responsibility and having that pressure to like make everything happen yourself is really great. And you know, and I would recommend it. If it's something that I would recommend it if it's something that you feel comfortable with and it's something that makes sense for your lifestyle. When it comes to missing your mom,

remember that you can always call her. You can always visit her. And really calling people is crazy meaningful. I call my parents every single day. There's not one day that goes by that I don't talk to my parents on the phone. And to be honest, I don't really miss my parents that much because I talk to them so much

that I don't actually really need to miss them. You know, I mean, obviously having them in my presence and having them in front of me is a different experience, but I actually talk to them more now that I moved out than I did when I lived at home. Because when I lived at home, I was fighting for my personal space. But now I have my personal space whenever I want,

and it's up to me when I wanna talk to my parents and have a conversation with them. So now, every time I talk to my parents, it's like a dedicated hour or three sometimes of me talking to my parents, uninterrupted that I've carved out of my time and that they've carved out of their time. I just talked to one another,

and it's not like we're constantly around each other annoyed. It's like, we enjoy that hour that we get to talk to each other and we dedicate it to one another. And then we both, we all get to go back to our shit after that and handle our stuff. You know what I mean? It's actually, if anything, better, it's been better for my relationship with my parents.

And I think that my relationship with them has improved times a thousand since I've moved out. Somebody said, do you get scared when you hear sounds or something? Honestly, not really. Like, unless I literally heard somebody like banging on my door, which has not happened, God bless, please, God don't let that happen.

Knock on wood. But when it comes to really loud sounds from outside, I kind of don't care, I'm kind of used to it by now. And I don't really get scared. Also, I have cats. So nine times out of 10, I'm just assuming that it is my cats's making the sounds. But if like I did hear a sound that was concerning, I would definitely lose my shit and I would

not know what to do. Somebody said, what was your ideal home when you were younger? And does your house feel like that now? That's super interesting. So my dream kind of house as a kid was a very like East Coast style. My dream house as a kid, it's those houses that kind of look like, you know, like a child draws a house and it's just like the two lines

and then like the triangle on the top. Well, if you look up in East Coast style home, let me look actually. Yeah, if you look up an East Coast style home, let me look actually. Yeah, if you look up an East Coast style home, it kind of shows what I used to want. I like very, I used to like very traditional, East Coast style homes, and I actually still do, and I hope that maybe one day I can and I can live

in one like that because I just think they're so beautiful but it reminds me my childhood from going to the East Coast during the summer and those are just such great memories and so I feel like that's why I like houses like that but I also really like mid-century modern style homes that's something I've recently really started liking. If you look that up, there are very flat homes with a lot of windows and wood in there, so pretty and cool looking. I don't know if I'm ever going to live in a house like that, but I really like mid-century modern homes. So those are probably my two favorite. The house that I live in now is quite modern, very simple, and I really love it, but it isn't super style. It's not like, it's very simple. You

know what I mean? It's not super stylized. So I can kind of do whatever I want with it when it comes to furniture and all of that, and I can kind of make it, I can make the style whatever I want with it when it comes to furniture and all of that and I can kind of make it, I can make the style whatever I want. But it's definitely not probably what I would have pictured myself living in, but I really love it right now and it's a perfect house for me right now. And although, and I love, oh my god, I love interior decorating. That's like one of my new things. I love interior decorating. That's like one of my new things. I love interior decorating. I've been

getting so much new furniture recently and just trying to like really get a space. I really want to like create a space that I feel. I really feel like I'm becoming an adult actually within the past like six months. Sorry. No, God. Within the last like six months I've really started to get into cooking and interior design. I'm fucking turning into a mom everybody. I can't believe this. I never thought that this day would come. I thought I was going to be a baby forever.

But yeah, okay, let's move on. Somebody said do you think part of the reason that you got cats is because you're lonely because you live alone? Actually kind of, yes. I think I got cats because I'm not even fucking with you guys. I'm actually not fucking with you guys. And I can't believe I'm about to say this on the internet and I hope that nobody fucking screen record this. Buh.

Um, I literally got my cats because of my struggling love life. Like, my love life was so bad at one point that I literally was like, I actually need a cat. Like I need a distraction, I need to have something to like take care of because my love life is so awful and miserable and traumatizing and bad. So you know when they say like, oh, crazy cat ladies, they never get married.

It kind of makes sense because I get why they got fucking 15 cats in the first place. Because cats actually make it so much less shitty to be home alone. Because like, I know, like I'll be laying on my bed and I'll be like working on my computer. And like, Frankie, one of my cats will come up and lay on my tummy. And like, I one of my cats will come up and lay on my tummy. And like,

I just feel so safe and warm and good. And it just makes me feel so comforted. And like, I love them so much. But another thing is, you know, now that I have these cats, this is a great way to decide if somebody is a good, like for me, for dating. This is a great thing for dating, right? So like, I meet a guy and then I'm like, yeah, come meet my cats. And if they're not good with the cats, then we're kicking them out. You know what I mean?

And so it's kind of great to like, it's a good test. I think that if people are good with animals, I tell the world about their character and how they're gonna to be with children. So that's an instinctual thing. I didn't mean to think like that, but that's just how my brain works like instinctually. So if somebody's good with my cats, then they're going to be probably a pretty good guy.

So anyway, that is, but they also could be a shitty guy, so that also depends. But it's a great way to kind of narrow down. So there's that. But that is the reason why I got cats. I always joke with my friends. I'm like, I swear to God, if my love life gets bad again, like I will end up getting another cat. Because there's something about it. It's like, it's almost like weirdly a fuck you.

I don't know how to explain it, but it's really like a fuck you. I don't need anybody. I just need me in my fucking cats. So I do have the crazy cat lady mentality, and that's something that scares me. And, you know, next question, how did you cope with moving to a new city all by yourself? Was it scary, or was it something that you knew that you had to do?

It was something that I knew that I had to do. And luckily, when I moved here, I knew a decent amount of people. I mean, I wasn't close friends with anybody. I've talked about this a hundred times, but yeah, I wasn't like super best friends with anybody, but I had enough like, kind of 50% friends, like half friends, that like I knew that I'd be okay. And so you know they kind of helped show me around and then I'm somebody that likes to explore things anyway Like I find a lot of joy from that and so like exploring LA for me was really fun and just kind of getting to know the area and

Trying new things and then eventually I you know found my really close friends and then finally after two years I actually feel like I have really good people. I have really good people in my life right now, so that's been really fun and I've even made new friends and it hasn't like killed me. Guys, it's crazy, it's crazy. It's crazy thing. It's crazy. It's not even scary.

I know that I'm weird about making new friends and I'm scared of making friends, but actually recently it's been good. But yeah, like I think making new friends who have lived here for longer or who can explore it with you, that's really helpful, but either way you can do it on your own too. Just, you know, make that a priority to like explore the city that you move to and find your new favorite spots and all that. It's actually so fun and it's really exciting and super fulfilling for some reason. Like going in like finding new places in the place that you live in the city that you live is just so exciting and fun. So, somebody said, do you feel different stepping into adulthood? Do you feel a shift in maturity?

For sure. I mean, in so many areas, in every area of my life, I feel like I've matured. And I still am maturing. I'm not like saying that I'm like super mature, or something, and I'm still quite immature, actually, in some areas. But I feel like my temper, not my temper.

I've never been a super angry per, eh, eh, eh, eh. If you listen to my episode on pet peeves, I do get angry about things, but that's like all in good fun. I have always been, you know, pretty chill, but I feel like I've gotten a lot more chill and like a lot less like emotional.

I feel like I'm just kind of becoming a little bit, I feel like my'm just kind of becoming a little bit, I feel like my emotions are evening out. And I feel like I'm becoming more responsible and more like proactive about things. A lot less lazy and like a lot more disciplined and just a lot more level headed. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still have my fair share of problems, but I do feel like I'm kind of becoming a lot more level-headed and adult-like, which is weird because then it's like, I've been on the internet since I was quite the child,

and so now I don't feel like a child is much anymore. I also hang out with people that are in their 20s. I don't have any friends that are, I have one friend that's a teen in the rest are in their 20s. So it's, you know, I don't feel necessarily like, I feel like mature or more mature than I was when I started. And so that's kind of weird, you know what I mean? Cause that's definitely will change your personality.

But I think that I'm a lot more comfortable with myself too. Like, don't get me wrong again. Still have my fair share of problems in that region. But I feel a lot more comfortable with myself and a lot more confident. It's crazy. I was actually remembering the other day when I first moved to LA.

How weirdly timid I actually was. I kind of want to do a whole episode about coming out of my shell. I'm writing that down right now. Okay, I'm going to do a whole episode on that about coming out of my shell because it was really interesting and something I didn't even realize that happened. But we'll talk about that next week, maybe. Somebody said, do you plan on moving to New York? I was so set on moving to New York,

but I have actually now decided against it because I mean, it could be fun to live there for like a year or something down the line. But I also feel like, I just really like LA. I've kind of like, you know, I have my people here now. I think a big reason why I wanted to move to New York was because, you know, I had a small handful of friends and like they could come with me or something. I don't know. That was what I was thinking. And like I wanted to broaden my circle. And I wanted to meet new people. And I felt, and I was kind of feeling like I had met

everybody in LA and that I, you know, and that it just wasn't really like the social place for me. And I wanted to like meet new people and different types of people. And I felt like New York has such a broad, different, it's such a different energy and there's so many different types of people. And there is an LA too, but I felt like,

I had already explored an LA and like I already knew everybody and I just felt like it was just, I didn't know everybody, but I felt like that. And I wanted to change a pace and like there was so many different things that I wanted. But recently I've realized that actually I don't know everybody in LA and like there's so many things to explore here that I've not explored yet. And I've met some really cool new people recently and I feel like I don't really need to go. Like I don't need to do that. Like LA is such a perfect place for me to live

and it's close to my family. All my friends are here. I'm comfortable here and all of that. But I mean, I love visiting New York and I definitely am gonna start visiting a lot more once. We are allowed to travel again. Somebody said, do you run to your room when you turn the lights off outside?

No, weirdly, I'm not afraid of the dark, which is weird, but I'm not afraid of the dark at all. So I actually don't do that. Somebody said, do you wish you moved out sooner or later? I think I moved out at the perfect time. I just turned 17 and it was the perfect time. I would not change a thing about that. Somebody said, would you rather live in a house or an apartment?

So I've lived in both throughout my life. I lived in a house for like five years and then my parents got divorced and then my mom lived in a apartment, my dad lived in a house and I lived in a house for like five years, and then my parents got divorced, and then my mom lived in a apartment, my dad lived in a house, then I lived in both, and then when I moved L.A., the first two places I lived in were apartments, and then now I live in a house.

There's pros and cons to both. My thing that was always really tough about living in an apartment since I was a kid was the whole neighbor situation. You're just in such close quarters to your neighbors that there's just so much room for anger and like aggressiveness because like your downstairs neighbors will get mad. And then you'll get mad at your upstairs neighbors because everybody's walking around and whatever.

Or, you know, if somebody's being loud next door, like, you're going to get mad and vice-versa. And so, that's the thing about apartment living that's really tough is how close quarters that you are with everybody. And like, it just can cause a lot of tension in the building. And I've always had that every single building I've ever lived in, there's been some sort of awkward tension between the neighbors. It's just awkward. Sometimes it can be fun, but like rarely.

I also feel like less, I always felt weirdly in danger in apartments. I've never felt safe living in apartments because I feel like it's just like there's so many people around and like what if your neighbor's a freak? Do you know what I mean? Now they know exactly where you live and they could like fucking break in.

I don't know. So I never felt really very safe in apartments and now I live in a house and I live by myself but I feel so much more safe here than I ever did living in apartments. And so I definitely prefer living in a house over in a apartment but I do think that apartments are really a great option when you first move out.

Obviously, I mean they're because they're just like there's not a lot of commitment involved and so you can just kind of like it's so great for figuring out your footing where you live living in them and like bouncing around from apartment to apartment. But overall I do feel safer and happier living in a house In my goal in my life has always been you know, I'd always wanted to live in a house Like I you know that was like I mean I lived at a house at my dad's house a little bit But I kind of ended up moving out of my dad's house at a certain point because it was too difficult because I was going to school

Near my mom's apartment and it was going to school near my mom's apartment and it was a long drive for my dad's house so I ended up just kind of during the week being at my mom so that it was easier to go to school and I didn't have to wake up super early and stuff like that. And so, and then when I moved to LA, I lived in apartments and it's just always been my dream to live in a house

and I'm just really grateful that I'm now living in one and it's kind of been a lifelong dream. Somebody said, would you go back to living with your parents if you had the chance? I would not. I would not. And I love my parents more than anything but no. Somebody said, would you live with a significant other? Oh God, I don't know. Maybe maybe in like five years, maybe in like five years, I would do that. As long as their chill is fuck, they better be. And they have to clean the litter box. If they're chill is fuck and they clean the litter box for me, then yes. But otherwise, no. Last question,

you've moved a lot of places in a really small period of time. Would you describe it as more fun or more stressful? It's been fun but stressful. Luckily, the spot that I'm living in now, I'm probably going to be living here for quite a long time. So I don't think I'll be moving again anytime soon. Moving is really fun, but an exciting always, but it's also really, it is really, really, really stressful because in its expensive to move

and the whole thing is just really traumatizing and getting settled into a new spot just takes a really long time. I just moved a few months ago, two months ago, and I'm still getting settled in. I still have things in boxes. I still have furniture that's coming and getting rid of some and getting new furniture.

And it's hard to feel like you are at home when you move as much as I have. I've moved literally three times in two and a half years. No, three times in two years. And yeah, and it's been kind of like, it's been crazy. But I'm kind of done with my moving. I think I'm just gonna live where I'm living now for a while and just chill here and finally be done with that and make this place feel like it's really home because I do think that I've kind of like not really put a lot of time and effort into like decorating and stuff like that because I've

always just been like, I'm only gonna live here for a year. So I'm not gonna like put effort into decorating and stuff like that. But now I know I'm only gonna live here for a year. So I'm not gonna put effort into decorating and stuff like that. But now I know I'm gonna be living here for a while. So I'm gonna put some effort into making it feel really homey and all of that because I think feeling like you have a really homey space that you live in and someplace that you feel really comfortable and safe and is super important.

And I haven't really had that because I've been every place that I've lived in has felt so temporary Because it's always been apartments so Yeah Anyway, that's enough of talking about living alone. I hope that you guys enjoyed that little discussion I'm gonna talk about me for a little bit and then I'm gonna hit the road Jack Coffee time, shameless coffee calm Any who Coffee time, chameleoncoffee.com. Anywho. Some good news is that I just took my last dose of Acutane today, seven months of Acutane

done. Acutane was the acne medicine I was on. I talk about it way too much, but it controlled my life for the past seven months. So that is why. But I am done. I'm done with acutane. I just took the last two pills today. And now I can finally go and, well, I can't yet. But in a month, when the acutane is out of my system, I'm allowed to go in the sun. I can tan again and I won't get burnt. My lips won't be chapped anymore. Hopefully my back pain will go away because acutain can give you back pain. Hopefully my skin stays looking good.

I'm really excited. And I think my skin will hopefully only get better from here all of my skin's pretty good right now. Acutain was crazy. I can't believe it's over. Like I feel like it just became such routine that like I just forgot that I was even doing it and then I blinked and then it was over.

I'm so excited. I'm so fucking excited. Sorry, I'm texting my friends to see what she's up to today. What do you up to today? Send. Anyways. What do you up to today? I don't send. Anyways, um, fuck. I was disgusting. I'm going to give you two Netflix recommendations of documentaries I've been watching.

Take it or leave it. The first one I watched was the Epstein documentary about his life and his case. Super interesting. I mean, really sad and, you know, of course, disgusting, but also super interesting. Just to see like, you know, I've always been really interested. I mean, of course, most people are.

I think that crime is interesting, you know, like crime documentaries and things like that. I think a lot of people find them to be really interesting. So I really was super engaged in the Epstein one. So check that out. It's on Netflix. Also, the Unibomor case, that was also really interesting and kind of terrifying. Both of them were really terrifying, but super interesting and engaging. So I would recommend those two. I watched those two recently, and I really enjoyed them.

I'm also going to give you some TikTok accounts that I've been watching, that have been doing the cooking, that I've been watching, that have been doing the cooking, that I've been watching. Okay, the first account is Jeremy Shek, that's spelled J-E-R-E-M-Y-S-C-H-E-C-K. He cooks and I love watching his cooking videos. Another is cooking with Shireen. I love hers too. She cooks a lot of meat, but I'm not really cooking, I'm not really watching her cooking videos

or anybody's cooking videos to actually cook with their cooking. It's just really fun to watch. Another person that cooks is I am Tabitha Brown. She's fucking amazing. She's my favorite TikToker of all time. Please watch her videos. She's just such a fucking ray of sunshine and I'm obsessed with her and she's the most amazing woman ever.

I think those are my three favorite cooking TikTok accounts. Slash just TikTok accounts in general right now. So go check those out for a fun little stock. Sorry, that is my TikTok for you page making lot sounds. Anyway, check all that out. I hope that you guys are taking care of yourselves and staying positive and I'm praying for all of you all the time, even though I'm not religious,

but yet I still pray. So I don't really know what that means. I'm spiritual in my own. I'm thinking of you all and I'm sending you all the most love and light that I possibly could and can and I will continue to do so. Have an amazing day and I will see you all next week. Ha ha ha. Bye.

can and I will continue to do so. Have an amazing day and I will see you all next week. Ha ha ha! Bye! Muah!