Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - David Lucas: High on the Hog!

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

Kippy and Foley are back with a hot new episode joined by stand up comedian David Lucas. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: ...https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ NUTRAFOL: https://nutrafol.com/Men Promo Code: GARBAGE INDOCHINO: https://www.Indochino.com Promo Code: GARBAGE LADDER LIFE: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jean

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, you bozos do yourselves a favor come out and see the boys live. Oh, yeah Stand-up comedy show. We play a little AYG with the crowd Fantastic way to introduce new people to the show. So bring the whole gang out. Come see us Yeah, guys get your best gal friend your best boyfriend the group chat your homies the bozos anybody We're gonna be in Redback, New Jersey in August that shows about to sell out that we're going to Seattle Portland, Kansas City Springfield St. Louis Nashville in the Philadelphia Providence, Rhode Island, Boston, Atlanta get those tickets. We'll see you there. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?
Starting point is 00:00:36 the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast This is our you garbage little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out that you're to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host age slowly coming at you on a beautiful day We're down here at Antutti's basement. She is unfortunately come down with a severe case of COVID and monkey pox Okay, is what we're supposed to say for boss calls. All right. Good. Very contagious My co-host is coming at you from right next to me on him use this week. What can I tell you? I'm doing my best here
Starting point is 00:01:22 He is the CEO of are you garbage international businessman? He is the Prince of Park Avenue, but always the king of the boardwalk, baby. Give it up for my best pal KJ Hey, Kevin James Ryan, hey gang Thanks for tuning in as always be sure you rate view subscribe on iTunes full video valve on YouTube as you know those numbers are Fucking cooking baby, then obviously the greatest fucking website of all time Google get the fuck out of the way WWW.patreon.com Slash are you garbage sign up you get bonus content episodes of AYG hard feelings live streams the whole nine yards fucking do it It's a real good time over there check it out and having a nice quick shout out to our producer
Starting point is 00:01:56 Extraordinary the magic man makes us all look good. He works the ones and twos He crosses the T's and he dots the eyes give it up for T-Bone McMuffin Toby McMullin everybody. What's up, dude? What's up, buddy? Oh man summertime. I'm feeling a little southern barbecue in here little fucking southern flavor It's gonna be a very nice guy. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with this today for the first time He is a super dooper funny stand-up comedian the kids a killer He's a regular on kill Tony tours with Joe Rogan tours with Louis CK But the big question was my today is he garbage? Well the first thing you did when he got the tooties is drop a deuce. Yeah
Starting point is 00:02:35 Y'all got a bathroom David Lucas everybody Yeah, man, that slice of pepperoni got you know that the list I had a slice of lasagna lasagna pizza Don't think I'm a loser. I knew you couldn't do it But I get one slice of pizza in New York. Enjoy. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely, and I mean I'm walking like four or five miles a day There you go, you know, it's wild that everybody. He's on David's on tour right now. Yeah, you guys are driving everywhere. Yeah, so For this East Coast tour. I am driving. Well, last we saw you in LA last time. We saw you. We saw you in LA I did fly didn't drive from there. Yeah, but you were like I'm flying to pick up the car that you're driving
Starting point is 00:03:25 Washington then New York then Texas, Mississippi That's that's somebody on the run from something. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. No, so So I decided to bring all the kids and my mom Okay on tour this year. Wait, everybody's with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I got we got a big car It's a coop We got a big car So I decided to bring the kids and my mom on the road that's very summer. That's very nice I have my kids for the summer and they hate when I
Starting point is 00:03:56 Go and disappear for like three four weeks at a time. All right. That's pretty clear man Yeah, I thought it was you two and like some 96 carry me with it with a pack of pork rice Yeah, and rolled out let's fuck it We pay fifty five dollars a park today right now I'll take care of it. Yeah I'm like, I should have uber from I don't like staying in the city so I gotta come with a slice of lasagna pizza Oh, it came with something. Yeah, I don't like staying in the city too much. So I got a house out in Jersey, Bloomfield Okay, it's pretty that couple of classy hits right off the jump man
Starting point is 00:04:32 What is the backstory of David Lucas? Give us the whole thing Atlanta, right? George and making George making Georgia My dad is Cuban. He was adopted My mom she was a working-class mom, you know, my dad Eventually came to do great things me having that close, but that was later on in my life later on in my life That's cool shit. I'm not I don't like them. Yeah. Yeah me him is still not close man So, you know, I parents together. No, okay divorce when I was like 18 months. My daddy had some bad addictions Okay, he was very violent towards my mom. Okay Yes, something like that. So when they got a divorce, we want to go live with my grandparents. Okay, my grandparents did live in the suburbs
Starting point is 00:05:15 Okay, so it afforded me the opportunity to go to a better school. Okay, then where me and my mom were living So I was able, you know, to be kind of a suburban kid. Okay, even though my mom was flexing on those pussies Yeah, but it was kind of hard man because like my grandparents lived in a very affluent neighborhood All right, it was so weird like growing up affluent. These are her parents your mom's parents, right? So they did well, right? My granny did well my grandma didn't work. My great. It was just a hard worker who saved a lot of money and That's old southern shit my granddad. He was a hard worker He ended up buying a few rental properties. All right, like that. What did he do for a living? Was he just like he worked that? What do you call I guess it's like a textile plant? Okay, so they made like the little white square you see in office buildings
Starting point is 00:06:07 Okay, it was a company called Armstrong He worked there for a very long time He would go to work like and my granny was not a motherfucker to be fucked with bro Like he was almost like he was semi-evil bro. Like for real It was good and make the tiles just a little bit smaller It was good and bad You know living in my grandparents house. Oh, yeah, very strict man. Like I was in church three four times a week He made me like I couldn't dress where like flash at the church. It was like straight white button up
Starting point is 00:06:41 Black shoes type thing. I Remember I used to Exclusively date white girls and elementary and middle because of where I lived and white girls gonna get you hung like But here's the thing he married my grandmother who's half white Like my granny was very racist towards white people, but he married a half-white lady damn half white I guess there you go. That's how he gets in there. He had eight kids, man You know my granddaddy, bro. He was he was he there was no reasoning with him. It was Even I sounds fucking to do chores and shit around the house man, bro
Starting point is 00:07:21 I was pretty much a bro like it wasn't It wasn't chores, bro Like I remember when I turned like 15 16 and I was able to drive and get a job It was better to get a fucking job than to do the shit Because he had rental properties and he and I remember at one time he had like five of them in a row And he would drop me off with a gallon of water and tell me I'll be back in three hours and all this grass Better be cut and pick up all the paper. No lawnmower. What do you do? I had a lawnmower, but it was shit like that. So I'm like God it didn't he give me something like $10, you know
Starting point is 00:07:55 I don't work three hours. I get $10. I'm a little business man. I had no cell phone. This was you know You know, it's like 2000 bro 2001 The grass in a suit and in the hood and this was these were like hood areas. These were not like a suburb It wasn't a suburb at all. These were he owned rental properties in the hood And he dropped me off with a gallon of water and a lawnmower and say I'll be back in three hours There was no if I finished early There was no calling him because he didn't have a cell phone so he come back whenever the hell he felt like it Yeah, can't have people tracking them. You know anything's out there making it. Yeah, bro
Starting point is 00:08:29 Like that's my great Eddie bro. Like I like the only men the only memories I really have of him Like he died like two three years ago and me and him we had a very like I guess you can call like a little Precarious relations. Yeah Yeah, cuz when I got dropping you off in the middle of nowhere, man, come on man bottle of bowling spring, but um Yeah, like, you know, like bro, he was like the memories I have of him is like him like beating my ass You know, okay, like a lot of kids from the South got sure. Yeah shit. I don't know if y'all got Oh, yeah, I got the shit kicked. I didn't too bad Deserved it every time to know I'm feeling bad shit beat out of me, man, you know
Starting point is 00:09:06 And yeah, bro, he smoked cigars have a temple jewel. I still remember him, bro Yeah, and I played a lot of sports growing up Mainly grew up around my grandparents. My mom worked a lot right was the family where it was your mom's brothers and sisters same area um so We lived in What was called North Macon and my great-grandmother's Ania Walton who was my grandfather's mom allocated property To all of us because her daddy was like she was a Native American and her daddy was black and white
Starting point is 00:09:40 So her daddy was a big-time businessman He brought a whole bunch of property that he left to her and then she left like I have property in Georgia now Damn, it's doing alright. She's all their fucking landowner. I know so my family like there's an episode on my YouTube where I took Bert Kreischer to Macon when we did the tour and Like my whole family lives on one private drive Private private. Yeah, because otherwise that's trash Yeah, damn We didn't like the Rockefellers down there. I mean, you know, like it's it's it's middle-class Georgia living
Starting point is 00:10:14 Which doesn't take a lot of money to achieve Like you could be middle-class in Georgia making 40k a year Like you like you can still go get a two-bedroom apartment and making Georgia right now for 1200 in a good neighborhood You know, so it you can go get a nice house down there for $280,000 So it doesn't when I go to Macon bra feel like I take I take my family out to eat every day I'm talking about like 10 people bro. I got everybody Let's go
Starting point is 00:10:50 I'm just saying like I live in LA man, you know, and me and my kids eat is a hundred dollars, you know So it's like I go home. We can go to fucking fajitas, which is my favorite Mexican restaurant I can feed eight people for a hundred and thirty dollars, and that's with drinks Oh Shit, but I play I play sports growing up My mom so like in my earlier years I didn't see too much of my mom cuz she just worked way too hard, you know I'm saying to try to provide
Starting point is 00:11:21 For me to have a good life this one you guys were on your own No, I already ate your grandparents. Yeah, I live. Yeah, I live like I don't really remember living alone my mom because we moved Yeah Right so I Even though your mom lived with here with her parents. She was still out there busting her ass Yes, and so she had a house, you know I'm saying so like the age of When I was like five my grandmother had a stroke and an aneurysm. So my mom moved in Exclusively with my grandparents, but I was always at my grandparents house to go to the better school, you know
Starting point is 00:11:54 I mean, so your mom lived in a different house, right? So you were oh, you was just you and your granddad. Yeah. Oh, you wasn't even the buffer of your mom. Nah Damn, that's like Shawshank So like I have like a very few memories Like my mom if she had a day off she picked me up and we like go to her house, but it was in the hood So I'd be like I don't go back to my grandparents You're there cutting the grass and shit. I'll be like I'm ready to go back to grubba Where's the century condition? Yeah, what's going on in there?
Starting point is 00:12:23 So that probably made her like sad man like like my mom like now I say at my age now We have a better relationship than when I was a teenager sure just cuz she worked so much. She missed. Yeah, my mom was Missed me winning the state championship and wrestling nice She missed me winning the state championship and football all because she was working so hard Okay, but my granddaddy did start coming to those things. So when I got like I say like 15 and people started noticing I was good and sports like there was like a paradigm shift like in my family because like before that I felt like the black sheet sure I was the the one kid who whose daddy was not around You know I'm saying so the rest of my cousins had you know the dual parents the mom and the dad
Starting point is 00:13:07 They had that dynamic of their relationship. So I was the one who would get shitted on a lot You know, I'd be the butt of something. So if me and my other cousins are doing something, it's his fault You know, I mean, it's his fault so you started throwing fireman's carries Like what I started playing football I started getting big, you know, I'm saying there's no more of that like There's no more black sheep and then all of a sudden Lee and there's really Only one person in my family who remain constant from the time I was a kid To like now and that's my uncle Arbery like like he's my what I would say is my father figure Gotcha, you know, I'm saying like that's the person I looked up to got you
Starting point is 00:13:49 I've always wanted to be like him like I used to get my hair cut like him and I always want a relationship and a family like him He wasn't beating your ass. No, he wasn't beating my but I mean he he did offer discipline I might have got one weapon from him, but he was It's organic So, uh, yeah, he he works at a post office down there making Georgia and I can say he's my real father figure because like Growing up like that was the only person who can really reason with me. Okay. Yeah, that was that like I would listen to him Before I listen to my mom. Were you a when that were you a bad kid? Were you getting in trouble? I went like Growing up smart ass. I would I was yeah, I was very intelligent man. Like I was I was you know, like I was a part of beta club
Starting point is 00:14:39 You know, like what's beta club? It's a it's a in the south. It's like a club for kids with high IQs Taking honors. You're like an honors program. I was published in the sixth grade. You know what I'm saying? I had published Yeah, I was published in a book in the sixth grade, you know, so like I had I was very intelligent. What was the book? It was called Butting authors. It was a collection of stories from young kids that had had high intellect. Really. Yeah What you're at a little story. Yeah, I wrote a story about the werewolf of I think it was called the werewolf of making Georgia The werewolf or something like that. Yeah, my mama got the book. She got all that. I could barely get through a highlights It's right. So I assume the GPA was good in high school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I graduated like 4.1
Starting point is 00:15:25 What about the SATs? Oh, bro, you know what's so crazy I actually scored higher on the SATs in middle school than I did when I got older You're one of those kids that took them young because you were smart. You took the SATs in middle school? My mama had me in college courses in middle school. Damn. What, were you a dookie-houser? What'd you get them in mid, what'd you get in middle school? So when I was in middle school, I believe the highest score was like Was it a 15 or 1600? 1600. 1600. So in middle school, I scored like a 1480. Whoa So when I went to high school, the highest score was a 2100 and then I scored like a 1700 but proportionally
Starting point is 00:16:03 You might be the smartest person who's ever sat down. Yeah, you might be I think it's you and probably Francis Ellis Are probably because he likes he aced his to did you go to college? Yes. Where'd you go? I don't like to name the I don't think they like you name it up. Yeah, it's just like it was a whole acrimonious situation. We had bro What that means But I do have engineering degree Okay, well, I I don't have an engineering. I don't have it on me But I have a I have a Bachelor's of Science in environmental I have an environmental science degree. Okay, I was going to school to be an environmental engineer. Wow. So that's but by
Starting point is 00:16:46 Accomplished. Yeah, I mean, but I went to college from my mom Sure, I didn't go to college for me like when I when I when I went to LA like the football career didn't work out I had a spinal cord injury on the field. Yeah, I had a I had a fractured vertebrae in my I had a I have a fractured t12 vertebrae Okay, so that didn't work out and I didn't really know what I want to do in my life So I decided to move to California without being accepted into any college So you're 18 you just graduated high school. I got 17. Yeah, I graduated 17 about time. I was 18 17 by time I was 18 I was back at my mom's house and I was kind of like in limbo about what I want to do
Starting point is 00:17:24 I'm sure and because you wanted to pursue football in college. Yeah I want to pursue football in college and while I was back home. I got on the show MTV your mama Okay, no shit. I was on MTV your mama. Is that the original iteration of will You're perfect for that makes so much sense. So I got on that show and I had it like how did that happen? So When I when I my my my old high school buddy Rodney Penney, he was my neighbor also one of my closest name. We lived in the suburbs or neighbors were So he was like, bro, you should do comedy and I was like I don't know shit about comedy man. Like he's like brothers
Starting point is 00:18:06 He and at the time he's like reality TV was just starting to pop off like in 2008 He's like, man, you know, he's like get on real world. I was like, huh? He's like, you know, real world. He's like you get a real world So I started going to the MTV website and trying to just you know apply for different things that they had I saw that they had a casting call in Atlanta So I ended up going to the casting call and I ended up getting on the show and then I ended up becoming a writer on the show Okay. Yeah, and then the head writer I came I wish I could remember his name because he lives he lived in New York
Starting point is 00:18:37 I don't know if you this is fucking what 15 years ago. Yeah, so he lived in New York at the time This is pre-college or post-college. Well, I did one semester of college and then I came back home And then I eventually moved to LA where I finished college. Okay So all over the fucking Properties on your mama. I don't know what the fuck's happened. No, man. I've lived the life of a 60 Do you plan on building a house on the land that you have in Georgia? What are you gonna do with it? I don't know. That's a good question. I'm probably just giving to my children I don't I don't want to live in my family. Okay, we we is it's a bro
Starting point is 00:19:16 Like it's like my granny did a number on my family as far as the mentality goes And I told my family before I said look when when the generation before me meaning our moms and dads and are all gone There's not gonna be any more family dynamics. So y'all need to work on fixing something now Because when I was growing up all we did was have gatherings and now they're few and far in between mainly when somebody dies So like I don't really want to live next to them like I get along I'd say, you know for face value when they come to my mom's house when I'm in town I'll get along with them. But as far as like us hanging out or me I mainly just focus on my mom and my kids like that's pretty much it and my uncle. I talk about almost every day
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Starting point is 00:22:41 They were nice enough to send us a couple of shirts nice like going out shirts I mean a lady you're going out. I throw that on. I look real nice. I feel cool What after Karabas? Haha, so if you got a big day coming up getting the perfect fit look Getting the perfect look is no big deal with Indochino get 50% off any purchase of 399 or more by using promo code garbage at Indochino comm that's $50 off your first purchase of 399 or more at Indochino.com promo code garbage But yeah, I got on the MTV your mama's show and the head right was like you should do stand up and I was like, huh? I was like, bro. I know zero about Stan. He's like you have good timing
Starting point is 00:23:22 He was like your jokes are like jokes that I would write and I was like I guess so we started doing open mics together in Atlanta and I did that for like eight months and then I did a comedy competition at the things called the Punchline yeah punchline, okay, but it's not like the punchline like the real ones. It's like punch space line You know The ones that are everywhere since the punchline in Atlanta still it still exists inside of the diner The diner we just did it not long ago. It's not like the official punch. It's not yeah Oh that punch. I mean that place is awesome. It's like punch space line like the green room is the fucking lady's office
Starting point is 00:24:04 That diner sweet though. It's a good club. It's a good diner. Uh, so I hell of an omelet. Yeah, I placed in a competition and I placed in a competition. I was like, I like I need to like go to New York LA and While I'm in making like making bro, if you look making up, it's a horrible city It's like probably one of the worst places to live it like it's nice to me because I stay out of the way But like as far as the amount of money you could like if you want to live good if you want to live in making you need to make Money that does not come from making so you need to like have it come from somewhere else Because if you make make it not a lot of opportunities, right? There's not a lot of opportunities. So So yeah, I was in making and bro. I started getting in trouble with I
Starting point is 00:24:48 Started hanging out with this guy named said he had went to prison. He was like 23 And we have to bleep that I don't want I don't want big said coming out Bleep bleep Now one of us is gonna get shot. He doesn't want to name his college Criminals he probably wants it. He wraps down. So he probably will all the promo But yeah, we started hanging together and we just started doing like criminal activity, man You know, that's a smart person. Yeah criminal activity. Yeah, you know, you don't really have it in your heart You're more of a beta club guy like and then I got into criminal activity
Starting point is 00:25:25 This isn't after the MTV, right? Bro, this is I'm doing cuz I didn't want to work What is criminal what in you know in fictional world? What would criminal activity entail? You could pour that on the table I don't know if y'all were not trying to give him promo or whatever. Can send me back. We send me cases of this shit I don't care. So He's pouring it like we're in a car I
Starting point is 00:25:54 Say allegedly because Yeah, if this was if this was a movie and I wanted to add some exciting things Go ahead Alleged. Well, this is true. There was So there was a hurricane in Macon. Uh-huh and allegedly hurricane Lucas And we so we have the CVS. We had a bad hurricane in Macon and Allegedly me and some friends stop saying you if you're writing a movie allegedly David went into a house with some friends and Was I guess you could say stealing stuff. Okay. Okay. Yeah and taking it to the pawn shop to get money. Okay. Yeah, all right
Starting point is 00:26:41 All right. So that's that's that I guess you call it looting. Yeah I think you're talking about like FEMA scams or something like that. Oh, no, no, I mean, I'm being but bro I'm a pretty like I'm I don't take no shit, but I'm a pretty like No criminal record type. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're too smart for it. Oh, yeah, so Like stuff like that like looting when an opportunity would arise I didn't want to work, you know, I'm saying and I and I had did the MTV thing So, you know, people thought I was a star at Macon cuz that's big The most things people that we have from Macon were like oldest red and little Richard
Starting point is 00:27:17 Almond brother David Lucas right from your mama. I love it and almond brothers. Yeah, but there were no relevant like stars Sure, so like people saw me. I was the man in the city, but I had no money My TV down mother fucker you're on the TV you're stealing Shit Allegedly me and my buddy started going to get I forget how you say this type of jury. I think it's called like Burmeli Okay, it's like silver jury. That's gold plated Gotcha, so it would pass the little test that they would do at the pawn shops in Macon
Starting point is 00:28:03 She says country city so we'll go to Atlanta and buy like $200 worth of this stuff Take it back there past the gold test Smart like that. This is the beta club. Yeah, here we go. So we go by a smashing grass. Yeah, no no smashing grabs No, no, I mean, I did go, you know, but I mean, you know looting can get you Which we did not do by the way The wind took it. What do you want the wind took it? So, um, yeah, we would go by I think it's called like vermelia or something like that and we'll go by this gold plated silver jury and taking the pawn shops in Macon and
Starting point is 00:28:38 Allegedly and allegedly allegedly we'll make a lot of money You know All right, that became my hustle man that became my husband and my mom would be like Where the fuck you getting this money from now when you were getting the money Were you like using it conservatively or you're like, let's go get the heaters and margaritas for everybody any girl That said I was cute I take My rest my rest no my restaurant to go to at that time was carabas Who are you my mom and step
Starting point is 00:29:13 I get the chicken marsala with that's my what my mom's been getting a decade with the angel hair Trashy Carabas, but that's big that's big time in making shoes Every every dirt ball loves angel hair Hey, like we said making that's high on the hall That's high on the hall That's high on the hall. Yeah We got some country says that we that's high on the hall right there. That's how the hog eat right now
Starting point is 00:29:42 I was not I didn't think there even was a carabas in Georgia. That's wild. Yeah, there's a there's a carabas in Macon We have a Logan's Roadhouse. We have a Texas Roadhouse. That makes sense buffalos We got a couple of there's about because there is old white money in Macon There there's like three white families that pretty much own a great percentage of all the real estate in Macon, Georgia, and they They they have you know, you know, they didn't get that money on the up and up by the way So I wouldn't feel too bad, right? So we there there is some like it's almost like capitalism in Macon Uh-huh. You you you basically have to have and have not sure sure
Starting point is 00:30:22 I'm saying there's no middle-class in Macon. Yeah, it's rich. Yeah, you got it or you don't there's there's no other Option in Macon. There's only two now when you were growing up if you're going like, you know What was where would you go to dinner if your grandfather if you know if your grandfather was taking you guys out? What they what they take out what they take out would you hit a carabas? Would you know man the the most my granddaddy ever took me out was we had this famous hot dog place in Macon called new ways Mm-hmm, where they sell red. What y'all call them up here? What y'all call glissies? Yeah, they sell red glissies they're red hot dogs. Yeah, red hot red hot
Starting point is 00:30:57 But they're not red hats. I know a red hot. Okay. They're not sausages, but they're that's just I'll put it up That's just new ways like signature red hot dog. Okay That's wild Jesus Oprah went there when she came to make it That's real small town shit Oprah uses toilet I swear to God Like these yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, red hot dogs. Yeah, yeah, they're red hot dogs brothers grateful, you know Yeah, it's some of the best chili dogs. I mean, I've had Nathan's nice is cool
Starting point is 00:31:35 But yeah, this is our new ways but a small place like that. Yeah. Yeah, so we have a lot of like great, you know Restaurants old-school guys loved hot dogs. Yeah, they are grandparents. So that's that's about them My grenade was real cheap man. Very frugal. Mm-hmm. You know I'm saying he drove this old Ford pickup truck forever dog like At least majority of my childhood to my teenage years He drove this old two-door f-150 gray pickup truck that had no muffler that was loud as a motherfucker You can hear it. I can smell it legit We knew when my granny was getting off from work because we knew he was such a tyrant Mm-hmm that it when we heard that truck get off the end state. We knew we had like four more minutes
Starting point is 00:32:18 Turn TV up Get your own workout This is how cheap my granny was bro literally in the summertime he would keep the air condition on 77 and hot-ass make price Hot-ass make it to the table. I'm still doing that bullshit My mom was so cheap man, she retired two months ago, I said mom like you legit don't have to worry about money no more She's still I got carabas for every You ride the back of that pickup truck all the time that's you know, I'm saying we had a garden You know I'm saying okay garden my granny with you know like in the South like y'all got a little bit up here
Starting point is 00:32:56 Up this way like who sells stuff on the side of the road sure we would do shit like that on the weekends I like pick the okra pick the collards pick the tomatoes pick whatever we had growing at the time and Sam Farmers market good. Yeah, I mean, but bro you were there was no life changing money You know, it was you know a good day was if we make 75 and I get five dollars There's a lot of money back then And making right now a hundred dollars to a lot of money You might get your wig split over I haven't heard wigs
Starting point is 00:33:38 Do it all son Let's get into some fucking questions here, baby, what we got what was the grocery store that you guys went to when you were growing up Kroger's Pretty legit. It's all right. All right, and piggly wiggly. Those are the two ugly wiggly man Okay, that man kills me. I know And the one we went to like with my mom like when we had special occasions Mm-hmm like when it was New Year's Thanksgiving shit like that because they sell like all the like Grimy meat southerners like the like the fat bag the the hogmogs to got the sauce meat We would go to this real stank as growth story had downtown making called J and L
Starting point is 00:34:24 Everybody from make anybody from making or around the area millersville know the hell I'm talking just initials is a tough Look, it sounds like a rum or something. Yeah. Yeah, where do you shop now if you go grocery shop? Yeah, I'm boozy, bro Whole Foods. There you go Whole Foods and Bristol forms still farms um What was the high school mascot? so I went to I Went to three different high schools. So
Starting point is 00:34:52 Stratford, which is a private Academy. Okay, this is a cat. Yeah. Yeah. I got a football scholarship to go there Okay, I didn't get along with the kids. Okay, so Stratford was the Eagles. I went to Central also Central Public school. Yeah, it was the Chargers and I graduated from was Rutland, which was the Hurricanes Standard names Not too shabby any vacations growing up. What a vacation look like Orlando Okay, yeah, yeah, what everybody go would your grandfather go? Yeah, sometimes we go to Cleveland We have family in Cleveland. We're gonna Cleveland. Where would you stay when you go to Cleveland with them people house family? Was it that's got a lake or anything? No, they lived in Warrensville in Cleveland my
Starting point is 00:35:35 Who is he to me? I think it's my great uncle. Okay. He was a police chief So just from one suburb to the other. Yeah, there was there was nothing exciting, you know The most I did growing up was Disney World, you know, like I Like how many times he has been to Disney World too many like really 12 13 like yeah 12 13 times man That was the every year like Okay, let me let me take that back We would go to Disney World area, but we didn't always go to Disney World, okay Let me go back we would go to Orlando, but we didn't always
Starting point is 00:36:19 We go we go to University City walk, you know, city walk is real By some fireworks and get out of town and by the time I became a teenager I didn't really want to go to like cuz we would do Depending on who came we would do something like Magic King upcott. I just actually took all the kids to Get this to Disney World like three weeks ago where the shit was so expensive We're going into who else went my mom. How many kids do you have three? You have three kids So you took your three kids your mom, yeah, auntie right my brother Uncle I have a special needs uncle
Starting point is 00:36:59 Everybody yeah, we got a way more than fucking fashions to make it some cash Come on man. What's up me y'all making the money? Have you ever been given the key to a city yeah, dude, this guy's like the fucking mayor running for office not yet, man, but I Don't you know what's crazy? I Tried to get a write-up in the making newspaper and they turned me down Yeah, you're selling fake jewelry all over town, but I mean they didn't know Probably burned them on a pair of earrings
Starting point is 00:37:32 Those are my wife Left me crystal light family growing up No, bro, whatever the dollar No, whatever the Dollar Tree version was I think he told us that your grandfather hit you the latest a crystal light. That was like a traumatic experience I didn't I didn't drink Kool-Aid run-up. We drunk flavorate. Oh flavorate No crystal lights a diet. I know what that is, but we we did not asking if you drank Kool-Aid. What the fuck We drink Chris we drank crystal light, but we drunk the knockoffer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay
Starting point is 00:38:09 Hmm, how was your grandma in the kitchen? Good cook my grandma was a great cook man She was act like what's so crazy man only experienced my grandma Like the full version of her for like six years got you up before she had a stroke and sure But I have so many fine memories of her like she was like she could she looked pretty much Mexican Mm-hmm, but she was amazing in the kitchen She was such a sweet lady I just and I just have so many great memories of her like I feel like had my grandma and I had a stroke I wouldn't be a comedian
Starting point is 00:38:39 Because like like Everybody would say like your grandma is the only person that kept your granddaddy in check So it had she stayed well the whole time. I wouldn't have had the I know it sounds bad But no Yeah from my granddaddy Yeah, and I wouldn't have been able you know to channel this right and do comedy sure of course So it was kind of a blessing in the curse that yeah had a stroke and aneurysm, but but she was such a Sweet strong lady. She was married at 16 the first time and then she met my granddaddy at 19. Hmm. Yeah, man
Starting point is 00:39:14 She married a Native American who was an alcoholic and used to beat her ass Jesus she divorced him at 17 then met my granddaddy at 19 There you go, huh quite detail my friends. Yeah, you call your grandfather granddaddy What'd you call your grandmother? Do you have a nickname for her grandma reena? That's I don't know why but we just call her grandma reena Okay, do you have any answer uncles that you don't call by their first name like an aunt cookie or uncle? I got I got a So on my dad's adopted. So he was
Starting point is 00:39:49 This is so Lucas so I noticed you are a strange mix of Yeah, what about that neutrophil buddy? I know everything about neutrophil What do you need to know cuz you're a cue ball ain't you Baldy, but now there's an answer I know there's some light at the end of the end of the tunnel and of the bald cue ball tunnel Yes, sir get a little neutrophil baby do it up I know guys if you're not familiar neutrophil is a whole body approach to hair growth no drugs no compromises You're not smelling with chemicals the whole nine yards which everybody has tried in the past
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Starting point is 00:41:29 Men and entering the promo code garbage to save $15 off your first month's 15 bucks There you go. That's where that's cash money. We're talking now. You're gonna go ahead of hair You got 15 bucks in your pocket go out on a nice date. I might rip my hair out just to save the 15 bucks This is the best offer anywhere and it's only available in the To us customers for a limited time Neutral fold comm slash men enter promo code garbage now back to the show back to the show So my daddy was adopted by Frank Lucas's family The American father. Yes was adopted by Frank Lucas's family. Holy shit. Yes. So that's how I had the last name Lucas
Starting point is 00:42:06 Okay, my daddy is originally Cuban. Uh-huh. That's how I had the last name Lucas So from him being adopted by Frank Lucas's family one of like one of Frank Lucas's brothers Yeah, one of his brothers adopted my daddy. I never met my I never met my dad's adopted I have met my other relatives in Cuba, I didn't meet them, okay, or five years ago Cuba mm-hmm. Hey, I went down there. Okay, my dad He's what's going on here red hot dog. He's going to Cuba. Look, it's he was he was adopted by Frank Lucas's family And so on the Lucas side, I do have family members in Compton and I have lot. There's a lot of Lucas's man
Starting point is 00:42:47 LA or Texas, Oklahoma No, Carolina where Frank was from and then he was buried not too far from here His funeral is like three three four years ago like a year before the pandemic He died a year before the pandemic Frank did and I do know him. I met him two times And the Frank Lucas that I met was an older man. Sure. It wasn't the Frank Lucas that they made the movie about Yeah, I didn't meet that Frank. I'm at the I'm at the older in the wheelchair and I'm still right and I'm still cool with a lot of like his direct relatives that took care of him And I don't really like throw that around because of course. I'm a comedian not a rapper. You know, if I was a rapper
Starting point is 00:43:30 Oh, man, if you're a rapper, if I was a rapper, that'd be you should switch gears. Your album's called Blue Magix David Lucas story Shit, they're actually do have an auntie in LA that I just strictly called cookie cookie. Yeah There you go. Hmm and she ghetto as a mom She really is bro, I could call her right now Darker than you out. Holy shit growing up. Did your family keep the Reford the batteries in the refrigerator In the freezer dog with aluminum foil
Starting point is 00:44:09 I don't know what that did I don't know what that did but yeah in the freezer with aluminum foil Wow, that's great. That wasn't by new batteries Put them in a foil. Oh Have you ever used for breeze as cologne? Just give yourself a little squirt, of course And ax body spray as oh man That was for breeze 2.0 After you hit puberty
Starting point is 00:44:40 Have you ever used a coin star machine for less than $20? Absolutely. I remember my mom used to collect change and This girl on me take her to the movies and movie tickets in Georgia. I think when I was in high school like 425 So I told her I'll get the tickets you get the popcorn and shit So I went and grabbed like a pocket full of my mom's change and went to Grogers to go to the coin star And I think it came to like 13. That's like, yes Yeah, you feel dude you walk in feeling like the biggest piece of shit you leave feel like I can't oh man What do you say? What do you know? How do you feel about double eggs
Starting point is 00:45:22 I'm a son in the referee Double eggs with some hot sauce a shout out to Enjoy Dovetail, okay, I love double eggs man. Shout out to dovetail to make in Georgia They got some of the best double eggs and they make their own hot sauce and I put that smoky hot sauce on them What about what about fried okra? No, I do not like it's too slimy. Yeah, it's so slimy I never had it done well where I'm like, oh, this was good. Yeah, I want to do something make it I'll hook up something. We got a we got a new comedy club. That's I'm gonna be the first act
Starting point is 00:45:55 There because I'm from making on the Saturdays of this month. So I'll hook up some which are we all going we're gonna be in Atlanta Yeah, November in November. So let's let's do it to where you know, it may not be as much as Atlanta But you I'll come pick y'all up. It's an hour away. We do that go eat at the house to drive I'll take your y'all whole ton everything Like I like bro like I But I'm one of those guys man, like I don't know bro, like I just feel like Like so according to history, you know history history. It could be whatever, you know, it's something normally orally told Downlines but according to the history of making like making used to be a very thriving city
Starting point is 00:46:52 Because it was it's on the river on the old muggy river that runs that runs through making and it used to be a very big trade Place and now it's just I wouldn't say shitty It's trying to come back. Sure, but I just feel like a lot of the jobs left probably with manufacturing or whatever the shipping I don't know if you ever heard of Brown and Williamson. It was a cigarette. There was a cigarette manufacturer Fill up more they eventually sent it overseas to Japan, right? So that was a high paying job for a lot of people making sure when that closes like, you know That was like 15 years ago like the city took a slow decline Yeah, same thing with the automotive factories in Michigan, right? So like I'm I'm that guy where I'm like, I'm very making
Starting point is 00:47:33 Yeah, I can tell you're a champion for the fucking so it's like I can bring something to like I Eventually want to own a high-end club in making and I want to own a legit comedy club But we haven't like you want a nightclub like a no bottle service club. You mean no more so like Longy good good food. Okay, you can hear music type. That's the Frank Lucas in you're right there. Yeah a couple of dry cleaners But I'm like so many people in making will drive to Atlanta to experience Ambience and I'm like we can do this here Like you got a heart of gold I want to do that in making like yeah, I can do it in LA. Yeah, I can do it in New York
Starting point is 00:48:13 Yeah, I can do it in Atlanta, but man, I'm from making man like even if I you know Like I feel like Rogan about his new club like this is a passion project. Mm-hmm. I want my passion project to be in nice thing And yeah, that's it. I'm putting Bucks County, Pennsylvania back on the man Oh, you're not far from where Shane was from. No, no, no, yeah, or he was a little bit the other way But yeah, not too far same general area. What was your first concert that you went to? My first concert that I went to was in middle school I don't know how my mom paid for these tickets, but she did Queen star, but I went to go see it was B2k Okay, Cory
Starting point is 00:48:51 It was the first time Cory. Y'all may not know him. There's a group called B5 Sammy and little Romeo, which is masterpiece. Yeah Romeo. All right. Oh Romeo. Give me a chance I Little Romeo had the first rap snacks I've ever seen we're little Romeo. I don't know if they were the first Yeah, that's right. Try to you ain't twin set snacks. Those are good. Yeah, who was your mom's favorite singer? Teddy Pina Graves What kind of air freshener you got in the car none Straight bear boat nothing. Yeah, bro. I'm a You know not trying to brag I
Starting point is 00:49:39 Mean like bro growing up in life I wrote in a Honda Accord most of my life with my mom and then she got an expedition when I got like my mom I'm sorry doing very good when I got in high school. I guess all the hard work paid off Yeah, so she got a nice car when I was in high school to expedition and so I always have had like a Above average way of life. So I buy like nicer cars and I like to smell the leather I don't want you driving around in now. What are you driving around? I don't want to say who really Shit cuz when we saw you in Texas you were talking about something getting a new one. Oh, I got that you got that from that guy
Starting point is 00:50:17 Yeah, yeah All right That's mine Toyota camera folks, I saw that negotiate Asian go down and it was Yeah, driving around in the Batmobile. That's mine Yeah, Lucy pay cake pay good That's your best friend now. He just did he just did the podcast a couple of weeks and that is a very classy move to not say He didn't say the college is in the car
Starting point is 00:50:52 He talks about committing crimes with half a making. So here's the thing, bro, like Not expected I don't I don't like when I was with Louis he told me bro He said the best thing you can do is to be a sold-out comedy club at he said once you get to arenas It's not even about the comedy. He said because they're drinking They're drinking drinks to see you out of whatever the locals team Mascot is And they're watching you on a screen not in person the soul of the comedy So, you know, like bro, I just and you know, it makes me stay humble, you know what I'm saying because I'm still a real
Starting point is 00:51:28 I fish bro. I put I see that fresh water fishermen. I put on Georgia boots and I'm going fishing tomorrow There's a lot of lakes. Yeah, there's a lot of lakes in Jersey So I'm gonna go fishing tomorrow, man, and I just want to stay a common person and be Relatable to my audience my my producer for my YouTube clips and he runs my social media and everything He calls me the redneck whisperer So, you know, so I want to always see I want to always seem eye-to-eye, you know You know karate I actually know catch wrestling in Taekwondo, okay You didn't go to like Tiger Shulman or anything like that. Oh, you know the fuck that is
Starting point is 00:52:08 I don't know You ever carry a pot carry or collect pocket knives It was younger younger. Yeah, I have a Gerber now. What's that? It's a nice knife. Okay. It's probably About as long as the same as about as long as a knife that the bodega owner used to stab that like man I saw that I told I Did another podcast this morning. I was like, man, you know that that that pod I mean that a bodega owner should like Make a brand of knives. He's a mood of Florida. He won't poke that guy Fucked up real quick. They should let it. They should let him loose, bro. Like he's arrested for
Starting point is 00:52:45 I'm sure it'll be somewhat, you know Removed. Yeah. Hmm. Now if you were to I'm sorry if you were to take out food Will you eat out of the container comes in a week? Okay You're okay with taking leftovers home from a restaurant. No, really I don't like that. Yes Really? Yeah, it's it's a thing. I grew up in so many leftovers man. Like it now that I'm able to I It has to be something very good. Okay, you know what I'm saying like even if you don't finish it leave it Whatever, I mean brum
Starting point is 00:53:20 My leftovers are not that much so that's probably why I'm not taking it but I'm always arguing my mom about that shit man like my mom about new food like Okay, all right Anybody in your family have a birthday on a holiday any Christmas babies. Absolutely. Who do you got? My girl, okay, okay, it's Halloween. Okay. That's not too bad. All right, and I'm three days after Christmas That's not bad on Christmas horrible Christmas 4th of July. So why do you feel you got ripped off? Yes, well you get one present for Christmas
Starting point is 00:53:57 Birthday That's your big present. That's for both Have you ever saved a crown royal bag? Nah, my mom does yeah, but she used them for anything specific Changing a crown royal bag just hits different. Yeah. Are you a helman's man or miracle whip? Uh And do you fuck with male? I Do fuck with me? Oh, bro. I do but I like light male on my sandwiches. Okay. Say I'm helping good
Starting point is 00:54:29 I don't like that sweet shit. No, that's a miracle. It's trash. Believe me. You answered correctly Have you held in your hand in the last three to sixty five days a turtle or a frog? Damn right Both why where so I Like male ain't gonna save you now. So I like I thought I got my kids for the summer sure I haven't been to my house in LA in like six weeks. Okay, because most of my shows are on this side of the United States Right right now. So me and my daughter went frog hunting. We went gigging
Starting point is 00:55:03 For frogs like two weeks ago. We're at in Georgia. And my mom's backyard, bro Like my mom's backyard dog is Yes, it's the woods. You know, so we went gigging for frogs And I fish a lot. So every time I hook turtles up all the time. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense That makes sense. We eat at the counter at a diner. You a counter guy. Hell, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah I don't know. I don't know what it is. It's just so dope eating somewhere where you can just ask the person Yes, right there all the time. Hey, can I get the uh, yeah Of course, you don't have to wait for them to walk by. Do you know anyone who ever worked at a Hooters?
Starting point is 00:55:42 Yes Friend family member. It was a girl. I went to high school with She was a year or two older than me She was a cheerleader and me and my boys in high school thought it would be, you know, taboo Like let's go to Hooters to get some wings, you know, and she was working Stacey, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, she was working there who like like that and making like cuz it's a very conservative It might as well have been a hooker. Yeah, it was a very conservative City so a lot of the girls that worked at the Hooters like may have lived in like one of Robbins or 30 minutes out
Starting point is 00:56:14 Like they didn't live in Macon. Yeah What are you doing working at Hooters? Joy going to hell Grab me some more blue cheese. Well, yeah, holy shit Do all the pillows in your bedroom have pillowcases on them Bro, I ordered them long ass pillows and I don't even know how to order pillowcases That's my number one fight oh me and my girl actually got into a fight about that before I came here the pillow Because the house that I rented the ladies said if there's makeup
Starting point is 00:57:01 Or anything on my pillows. Mm-hmm. You won't get your security deposit back So fucking Airbnb got a lot of fucking balls. So she Wrapped it up in a brick. So people this is how much she this is I'll tell you So this is how much she doesn't value shit that I do for her I just bought her a brand new shirt like a hundred dollars Okay, so she wrapped the pillow that she sleeps on and it's brand new shirt I'm like, what the fuck are you like get one of those cheap ass fashion over shirts that you Bought with your own money and wrap the day and wrap the pillow with not this a hundred and twenty dollar shirt
Starting point is 00:57:38 I just bought you and I was sleeping on it today. She's like, why are you on my pillow? You're nasty. You've been out walking the streets of New York. Why are you laying on my pillow? Oh You sleep with your socks on got them right you do. Yeah, what are you sleeping? I sleep in I Wear like the breathable boxers. So all my boxes are like quick dry. Got you know what I'm saying those Dry well a sham. Wow. What are you talking about? Like, you know, like you not like the old-school boxer material No, it's like you're gonna Nike it order there It's
Starting point is 00:58:25 Sleeping dad and socks cuz you just never know when you need to get up and fucking get out of there, you know I'm still black You never know what you need to get up and get up out of there, bro I never sleep naked bro because that's too much to put on bro Shirt on my sock my shoes by the bed, so I put on a pair of shoes get up out of there man Like you keep your shoes by the bed. Absolutely. That's why I can't add my house I keep my gun in my bed to my gun is in the arms reach that I can't yeah, I understand that in LA In LA and I live in West Hollywood one of the gayest neighborhoods, but
Starting point is 00:59:05 You guys I'm sure you grew up shooting and something that Absolutely right just different. I killed my first turkey when I was like eight turkey. Mm-hmm in the bad part The y'all might not notice the bad part about turkey trying to sell me bad jewelry The bad part about turkey hunt is that so dear don't see in color So you can you can wear the orange vest when you're hunting deer turkey seeing color, huh? So you can't wear the orange vest Okay, so that makes you at risk sure shot, you know of getting shot so bro like I Prefer not the turkey hunt, but
Starting point is 00:59:38 You know, I'm not trying to get what you shouldn't turkey with a handgun or a rifle No, you got to shoot turkey with a with a shotgun Busted out of turkey. I know Frank Lucas Did you eat the turkey when you when you killed it? Good. Yeah, absolutely, bro. There's nothing like fresh cube or like fresh hog. You go kill a wild pig. That's that's done Absolutely, and the thing about the thing about like wild pigs bro is like they have a lot of armor. So there's like a small It's their rib cage, you know, I'm saying they have like a It's almost like they evolve to not get shot. Okay, and they're actually very dangerous man
Starting point is 01:00:27 Yeah, no, I know why so like they have a very small area that you can shoot them in brother That's some of the best Like some some wild some wild pig ribs and wild sausage. That sounds good. It's it's very good, man You know, like I'm from Georgia. We smoke a whole hog, baby Bro dig a hole overnight that hole overnight that Any any deer deer steaks. Oh my god, Venice is awesome. Yeah, bro. They're steaks. I've a possum raccoon Squirrel fried squirrel Thank you. You're starting out real good. Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:05 Right Fucking bragging about fried squirrel. You're a dirtbag squirrel steaks. Yeah, I don't mean alligator I've had alligator once I've had kangaroo ostrich alligator. I wasn't crazy about Yeah, of course Yeah, this question has only been ever asked to Ari Shafir, but if you were overseas, would you eat dog? Yes, I've had rat. I went to Nagasaki, Japan. I had rat But it was covered in so much sauce. I didn't know if it was bad or good Sure, you know, it was it was so saucy. I don't like I'm like, I don't know if this is good or bad
Starting point is 01:01:40 Yeah, I didn't know like it was tasting the sauce. Yeah, it was so saucy Teriyaki on it. You're all right. Do anything crazy like to eat the pigs now and stuff like that or you I would back in the day But now like you're clear. Yeah, like I don't eat pig feet no more. Really. I don't really eat Like Nick, I don't eat like I don't eat none of that slave food like we call it back on like Like black people got the leftovers, man, you know, we got Get me a filet mignon is some If I'm not if I don't got a lot of money, the minimum to get is a chicken brush In LA, what do you keep your butter in the fridge or on the counter? I
Starting point is 01:02:27 Keep my eggs and butter on the counter You're getting fresh eggs then yeah If they've been treated you have to treat it. Yeah You buy brown eggs. Yeah, so they're probably untreated syrup you keep in the fridge or in the cabinet cabinet catch up I don't eat ketchup. Really? I hate ketchup What about mustard like mustard yes, huh Love me some mustard Like Dijon depending on what I mean. If I'm eating like a Shakur reward. I'll indulge in some
Starting point is 01:03:04 Dijon walks in both worlds I just dropped if I'm having a short food reward. I'll have great bubba No, I'm like bro. I'm the guy who will eat a play the gator or I'll go eat filet mignon wagyu with you Okay, you know, you know Pretty crazy. How do you feel about tapioca? Papioka pudding ate it. Okay. Good answer. You're running a cruise. Absolutely You have a mouse. What a mouthwash cup in the in the no sir. No mouthwash. Have you ever you don't use mouthwash you floss Occasionally, okay, whenever I eat a steak. What's the last time you're to dentist dentist? Yeah
Starting point is 01:03:46 I'm missing like three teeth. I'm trying to I miss it too in the back Yeah, I've been a dentist like 20 years. Yeah, bro. Take me fucking 45 minutes to eat a filet mignon Get some back teeth Do you have name-brand luggage? Yes, but you take your shoes off on a plane. I do all the time. I know I I try to I try like I'm one of those people who like, you know I hate when I see people flying and they go for the design over the comfort You know, I'm saying cuz I can't fly first class all the time, right? I'm just gonna be honest. Yeah, I can't
Starting point is 01:04:28 So like if I'm especially in coach, bro I go for the like slip-ons the flip flops the Crocs the Yeezy's I can take them off very easily Okay, the basketball shorts and the sweatshirt. That's that's my normal fly a tire I don't care about what y'all think I got on like I'm trying to be comfortable. Yeah Will you put the seat back in an airplane all the time? I do it before takeoff As soon as the flight attendant sit down, I break all the rules As soon as the pilots say flight attendants prepare for takeoff. I'm like, oh hell yeah Here we go
Starting point is 01:05:12 Anyone in your family ever represent themselves in court Probably my brother's daddy, okay He was a career criminal. That's some point. Yeah, if anybody had to save a couple of bucks Did you know anybody that was on the show cheaters? Anybody on the local news absolutely, okay, my granny was on the local news. Yeah. Yeah for it was the anchor He did weather there was there was something happened There was something that happened in the area where he owned some homes It was in the ghetto and they interviewed him for something and he looked like a complete idiot
Starting point is 01:05:53 He made everybody stay up to a level to log to I'm being on the news and I He made all of us stay up to watch that shit. That's awesome. That's what I'm talking about I think I only got one or two more here Hmm Do you have you ever owned your own pool cue or bowling ball? Really? I'm a big pool player Really? I love
Starting point is 01:06:19 Growing up in my granny's house. He had a pool table. Really? So I was very good at pool. I don't I don't you know how this We don't have the opportunity to do much that we used to enjoy the only thing I find out of the activities Yeah, the only thing I find time for now is the gym and fishing but I like pool It's like a once every two week thing now Like if I see a pool table, I'll go shoot but I used to be a very avid pool player, huh? Hey, huh, did you name the pool cue? No, okay Do you name your cars they have names? Uh, when they were raggedy, I did
Starting point is 01:06:53 It's cuter. Yeah, it's cuter when they're raggedy now. It's just like but you better crank up you Ain't got too much goddamn You better fucking crank up, but you know when you got it right. Come on sally. Come on baby sally. Come on, baby Come on, baby. We go we go make it You got one more in you you got one more idea Yeah, that's awesome. Have you ever owned cargo sweatpants? Of course. Oh, that's a bad look Will you put gum under a table all the time? Have you ever smoked weed out of a soda can? No
Starting point is 01:07:26 I have I get me too. I smoked it out of an apple Yeah, that's you know, yeah, that's healthy. It's organic I like it. Have you ever saved a cigar box for storage? Yes, but they were Cuban cigars So it's it's kind of No, I would argue that you it's it's different. You think that's worth saving. Yeah, it's different. It's still an empty box Was it made out of wood? Yeah, it's different. See What are you putting in there?
Starting point is 01:07:53 That's for like spies if you have multiple passports in different kind of currency I'll put all of my CUC, which is the form of currency in Cuba in there CUC CUC cook or CUP cup. So CUC is uh, the the mode of it's the CUC is the currency for Uh, everybody CUP is strictly like Cuban to Cuban So I get both of them because my family's Cuban. So I get that's why I get CUP and CUC
Starting point is 01:08:22 Cash, I don't fuck around down here. How many times you've been there Cuban probably like six times Damn 67 I honestly I'm out on I What are you saying here? I'm saying it's a proper coin. It's a proper right down the middle And he's had some of the trashiest wildest answers and also
Starting point is 01:08:43 Some of the most. Yeah, I'm the best of both worlds. You know what I mean? I can't say you're trash I can't call you definitely not class. You have some classy tendencies Yeah Just talking about fucking pickle and hogs feet or whatever My family line is bro, and what's it doing like fucking jewelry scams city to city Yeah He's hitting a fucking bubble tape jewel right now What flavor is that drinking writer's tears out of a solo pretty much right watermelon bubblegum. I knew what it was
Starting point is 01:09:17 I'm black man He's blowing puffers too No regard for the smoke alarm Buddy Right down the middle coin. Yeah, right there in both worlds 55 50 but it's incredibly fucking interesting. You're incredibly fucking awesome Fucking so happy to have it here. Yeah, I appreciate you coming through. I love y'all. I mean, how about that? This podcast is so fun. How about that? I was uh immediately attracted to these guys. No homo the first time I met them You know, they won't kill tony and uh, dude
Starting point is 01:09:46 I I used to watch kill tony a lot and I saw you I mean he would Eviscerate to the point where like You could see they'd be like, oh, I could hang and they'd do a couple of lines And then like even like people on friends with where I'm like, man, you don't want to do it And then he would just fucking torture them When we did kill tony and we were sitting there and you came on and then you two started going back and forth I told him I told fully I said yo fall the stall a week in riff and stuff. I said when he gets on stage It's it's fucking I got under the table
Starting point is 01:10:16 Like an air raid siren went off. I was like, dude, I don't want this smoke I didn't make eye contact I'm just sipping bud lights Good stuff. You're on tour right now. Yeah. Yeah. What do you got coming up? Uh, let me let me shout out some of my dates Right quick. Hold up. Please check him out. He is like absolute killer of a fucking killer Like I'm not even gonna like I don't know if y'all feel this in comedy, but sometimes you don't feel worthy Like, you know, I'm saying you go to a show and you're like, damn, all these people showed up to see me. It's awesome Yeah, it's a good feeling July 29th through the 30th. I'm at mic drop comedy in san diego august 12th through the 13th
Starting point is 01:10:52 I'm at upstage comedy lounge in san antonio September the second through the third i'm at wise guys in vega september the 14th I'll be at mcgooby's in baltimore maryland september September the 18th sand man comedy club in richmond virginia december the 16th through the 17th I'm in tampa florida at sidesplitters and there you go. It's not updated on my website now But I believe it's november the 22nd through the 26 or 25th. I'm in winnipeg At whatever comedy club that is in in canada. So, yeah, buddy. You're killing it man. Congratulations. I loved having you kippy
Starting point is 01:11:26 What do you got for him? Uh, we're all we're all over the road. We're announcing more dates The links in the description check us the fuck out the shows are selling out especially in the bigger market in the big cities They're funny as fuck. Thank you. Thank you buddy. We love you gang. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace

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