Aware & Aggravated - 70. (WWLD) Anxiety Isn't An Excuse, Cheating, & Choosing a Career

Episode Date: April 2, 2023

In this episode Leo answers some WWLD questions. (What Would Leo Do)? He talks about a major mindset shift to help with anxiety, when someone you're dating asks you to move in with them too soon, choosing the best career for you, and so much more. This is a wildly entertaining episode that is packed with so much insight. 😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi 👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/all-products📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/ 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.com

Hi friends, this week we're doing a whole episode of what would Leo do? That's where you guys write in your situation and ask me for advice And I tell you what I would do in your situation And I'm not here to spare feelings and give you advice that just sounds nice Okay, if I have to be rough with you and tell you the truth I will But it's because I love you and I'm looking out for you So I'm gonna answer all of your situations like I would tell my old self and I mean to him But if you want a chance for your situation to be featured

or you want to ask me for advice on something, the link for submissions for what would Leo do is in the description. So let's jump into this I'm excited and the first one already has me fucked up. Oh, so my boyfriend is in the military. Red flag number one. We've only been dating since February but I've known him since December. He's coming home for military training soon, but he wants me to move where he's being stationed in a few months. I feel like I'm going crazy or something. What do I do? Okay, the reason you feel crazy is because he's acting like it's not a big fucking deal.

What he's asking of you is huge. So the thing I'm going to harp on is you said, am I going crazy? You're questioning if this is actually big or not. So, I'm assuming homeboy is making it seem like, oh, just throwing away your life and just moving to come be where I'm at and accommodate me in my life is just no big deal. Yeah, I've known you for like two and a half days, but like, come move and live with me. If he's treating it like that, and he's kind of like downplaying the situation and making it sound very easy, you're gonna think that you're going crazy.

You're not fucking crazy babe, that's weird. That's very fucking weird. You barely know each other. I'm probably sure you haven't even pooped in front of him yet. Girls be taken their time to get comfortable. And you haven't known him long enough to assess his character and who he is and how he is. Like you don't know how he is in hardship, and when shit's rough, like you don't known him long enough to assess his character and who he is and how he is like you don't know how he is in

Hard ship and when shit's rough like you don't know how people behave and if he's still gonna care about you and like people switch the fuck up That's just how they are in relationships. So my trust issues gonna come out and I'm a project them at you to keep you safe bitch What? So you asked what do I do Leo would fucking not absolutely not I would never fuck with somebody in the military I Don't mean to be like rude, but this is the type judgment they fucking have this is weird But I know homeboy is convincing you that it's just not a big deal. That's why you're like am I going crazy? So I would say that's a big red flag on its own like that's another reason why I would not do it

He is not tuned in to you, your perspective, what you're gonna have to go through and what you're gonna have to give up. He's just looking at like, oh, just move around that. That shows a major disconnect. He's not able to validate any concern, worry, fear, and convenience you're gonna go through. So that means he's not seeing it. And if he's not seeing it, you're gonna have to prompt him to see it. That's not somebody you wanna get involved with and live with. Someone you have to prompt to take a peek into your perspective and check in and see what the fuck you're up to and what you're feeling.

No. Big red flag. Military red flag number one. Red flag number two is downplaying this shit like it's no big deal. And you know he's doing that and I'm gonna validate you again because you said am I crazy?

You are not crazy. He's downplaying it big disconnect get the fuck out Brick up with him I don't want to tell you to break up with them, but like I sure as fuck would and let me go ahead and clear some shit up We're gonna try and come for me and cancel me again It didn't work last time. We got to try harder. I'm not saying all military people are bad But the little boys and basic training and the girls and the days and the thems, I don't know if they and thems can get into the military. But the people who are in the basic training shit,

they're being mentally broken down, to be rebuilt, how the military wants them to be, so they can function for what the military's goals are. These are people who are not mentally like stable at the moment. So if someone isn't like basic training or their first couple of years in the military, they have no stability, they're mentally so fucked up and it's on purpose. They're

being broken down by the military. So I think to even try and incorporate a relationship during that time as someone in the military, bad fuck a move bitch. Just based off of the amount that you're having to take into consideration, all the new shit that they're trying to learn, all the pressure they're under, the way that their entire reality is breaking and being exposed to so many things, that's not someone who's like really ready for a relationship in my opinion. Some people are going to be the exception, some people are going to be able to handle it and be with it, but you got to assess that on your fucking own. Now if someone is in the military and they're a lot further along with it and they're more

mature and grown and can handle this shit and understand moving your life for somebody is not just like a little Walk in the park go have lunch. Then a military person is safe Maybe but a lot of them beat their wives It's all that pent up rage and trauma. They don't have to deal with so Text them MMA classes maybe get a concealed carry permit if you're gonna date one of them I'm being an asshole at this point. Really I'm not, cause that's what I would do. This is what would Leo do.

Leo will come locked in the way. Okay, next situation, this person wrote in and said, My friend who's a girl, got a boyfriend and she's been leaving me dry ever since. I told her that it was bothering me, but she didn't change anything Withdraw literally back up you express that you didn't like it you expressed it upset you if she looked at you and did nothing She's basically telling you the way you feel don't fucking matter. I got a man Okay, so she just laid that on the table She just communicated that by her actions or lack of action So look at what the fuck she just threw on the table.

Is that someone you want to keep putting effort and energy into? Is that someone you want as a friend even? No, walk away from the fucking table. She just laid down her offer. You don't have to accept it and you don't have to decline it. A conversation is clearly not enough to be had. So in this situation, I would personally just pull away like just pull back like I Expressed what the fuck I expressed you acted how you acted knowing the way that I felt now I'm gonna act accordingly to how much you took me into consideration which was none so you're getting the same thing back I would say just with draw the your own thing find new friends get some hobbies get busy because When you have someone that you're close to like a friend or a partner or anything, if they're a big part of your life and you have something go wrong with them and you don't really have anything of your

own going on, all of your attention is gonna be like fixated on it. Everything is gonna hurt worse, everything is gonna bother you. When you're busy, shit don't bother you as much. Going and getting your own life kind of set up and have your own things you're working toward and doing will help you not be so much of avoid and so much like of an impact by her lack of effort to try and like be your fucking friend. You're gonna be so busy with so much other shit. All of your attention is not gonna be freed up just to focus on the person who was such

a big part of your life. You have other things to occupy your attention so you're not gonna see all the little things that hurts you. And if you do see them, they're not gonna hurt is bad because you don't have the time and the energy to invest into like Reading in the shit and over evaluate situations. You're like, okay. Yeah, you did some shit. Okay. I'm still busy I'm gonna go do my thing. It's gonna impact you a lot less So I suggest getting busy and withdrawing like you communicated now Do what the fuck you want to do consider her to the level she considered you

Do what the fuck you want to do consider her to the level she considered you People don't like that though. You'll hear from her I promise you you'll hear from her as soon as you withdraw your attention energy and anything you're putting toward them It's only fair to withdraw like she withdrew so you withdrew But she's gonna notice when you withdraw and she's gonna text you all of a sudden to put energy back into you And I want you to stand fucking strong and be busy with your shit. This bitch just showed you how much she cares about you. Not as much as you cared about her, because it doesn't sound like you would do that to her.

If you got a boyfriend, and if she came to you upset that she felt neglected, would you have just ignored it? Nope. So you deserve a better friend than that, because you can be a better friend than that. So don't feel bad. And when she reaches out, keep it superficial. Keep it high. How you doing? I'm good. Great.

Keep it moving. Keep it pushing, bitch. That's what I would do. All right. Next person said, I'm catching feelings for my situation ship. How do I not get hurt? Having feelings for someone is not the reason that you're hurt. A lot of people try to stop caring about things because they convince themselves the fact that I care about this thing is why it hurts. And I used to deal with this too and I'm sorry that we share that and I'm sorry that you look at caring about something and correlating that to being hurt because of it. You're not being hurt because you care. You look at the solution of like oh if I just didn't care I wouldn't get hurt. That's not the solution. What I would do with a situation ship, and what I usually do, is I will assess the person in front of me, and if there is a situation ship or there's a friends of benefits or whatever it is,

literally get so clear in your mind of what it is. Okay, I'm just gonna be having sex with this person. We're in a situation ship. It's never gonna go nowhere. I don't know why people get into that shit. It's a waste of fucking time. Girl, you're only young once. You only have one life. Why are you worrying about someone who can't fucking give you a title? Or like declare what they want from you?

Weird. But just get very clear on the reality of the situation ship or the friends of benefits. Because a lot of people asked about friends of benefits and how to like not catch feelings. There's gonna be moments when you are intimate with someone where feelings come up. It's like saying, how do I touch a hot stove

and not get burned? It's a byproduct. You're getting to know someone in an intimate way. So if feelings come up, it's not bad. It's expected. Now, what you do when those feelings come up is up to you. But the way that I kind of prevent these feelings from growing too big,

so literally look at this person on paper, write down or like just make a fucking mental list of what the situation is, what's going on, what is the reality of what's happening right now? We're having sex or we're in a situation shift, neither of us wanna commit whatever, we're enjoying each other's company for now. If you're hookin' up with somebody

and you're agreed to only be friends with benefits, okay, it's not going to go anywhere further and remind yourself of that. You have to give yourself a constraint so that you can feel the freedom to fully enjoy it. So if you're over here not constraining like where your brain takes scenarios, you're going to be stressed to fuck out and it's going to be a lot less enjoyable. You're going to be constant with the back and forth. Oh my god, how do I not care? And it's just gonna get too much. So I give myself a constraint when I meet someone. Like I had a friends with benefits last year and like August and I was like, okay, I know I'd never date this person,

but we're fucking, we're hanging out and have a date. It was fun. It was a little friends with benefit situation and I knew I was never gonna date them. So I set that in my mind. I made that very solid. Like okay, dating is not a potential, dating is not an option. Both of you get clear on what's gonna come from it or what the potential is of it. And if there's not a potential of it going further, lock that at we will never date. And then enjoy having sex, enjoy your friends with benefits, enjoy your little situation

ship, enjoy it for what benefits, enjoy your little situation. Enjoy it for what the fuck it is now. There's no point in worrying about it. But this is one way that helps me not get feelings for people is like, I put the constraints of like how far this can go. And then when I have thoughts or like I entertain things about this certain person that I like, it doesn't go past that because I've set up that wall. I do not let my brain daydream about dating this person or being with this person long term. If we're just fucking, we're just fucking.

So you have to get a leash and tie that bitch around your brain and not let it go fantasize about what it could be where it could go. Girl, put a constraint and enjoy it while you have it. When you put a constraint around it, you're allowed to just enjoy what it is right now. I promise it works. But just get very clear on your situation and what is happening now, not what could happen. What potential is there?

Fuck that. Sit here and play in your little playground and just enjoy what you've just created a barrier around because it's safe in there. Oh my God, next person said is somebody telling you that they can't commit to a relationship because they are too busy and excuse, yes. Oh, here's another one kind of on that page.

Oh, let me tell you my situation. So I'm dating this man. He's very busy with work and I know about that. However, I'm a person who needs attention when I'm dating someone and this man didn't text me back for more than a week. I would have been blocked as asked. You got 24 hours to not respond to me. You really got 12. Or you best have a good excuse like you was in the hospital, you had a heart attack

because you just couldn't breathe without me. So he didn't text her back for a week and then she goes, he's also posting on social media. But when I call him, he texts me he's busy with work. What do you think about this? Do you think it's possible to not talk for more than a week with a person you actually like even though you're really busy with work? Babe, I don't care how busy someone is. If you put something they value in front of them enough, they will find a way to accommodate that and bring it into their life and make sure it stays in their life. I hate to say this. He doesn't like you enough.

Anyone giving you any fucking excuse. Why they can't be with you is an excuse. Literally just think about it. You asked me. Do you think it's possible to not talk to someone for over a week that you really like? Could you do it? No. If you really like. Could you do it? No. If you really liked someone, you're not gonna feel comfortable going a week without talking to them. But what would make you feel comfortable not talking to someone for a week? If you didn't

like them. Personally, what would Leo do? Ghost is fucking ass. I would have been ghosted. Do not ever beg someone or ask someone to talk to you or ask someone to like you. That's pussy shit. That's weak shit. You don't fucking do that, okay? I'm looking out for you. I love you. Get the fuck up off your knees. Don't be begging for nothing from nobody. My ego is so fucking fat. I don't even beg God for shit. I'll take that up with him when I die, okay? But people make time for what's important to them, and I want you to remember that. So stop looking for, okay? But people make time for what's important to them. And I want you to remember that. So stop looking for another explanation. If people make time for what is important to them,

if they are not making time for you, what does that mean? You're not important to them. And I know that hurts to say it. But if I sit here and lie to you, you will never get out of this position. It will only get worse. So me being honest with you and telling you the truth sets you free from the pain you're

in. I'll always just be honest because that's what truly caring about someone is lying to them keeps them trapped in a false reality. Like that's not cool. It's not fair. It's not nice. People think lying is nice. No, it's fucking not.

Okay, this person said, can you please talk about feeling stuck in a cycle and how to get out? So if you feel like you're stuck in a cycle, you know exactly how to stay stuck in it by doing the exact same shit you're doing. So when a situation happens and you handle it a certain way and then it comes back around and happens again, you know a surefire way to stay stuck in that cycle.

It's by doing the same thing you did before. So what I do when I feel like a situation is recurring and I feel stuck in a cycle is I assess, okay, what the fuck can I do different? That will lead me to a different outcome. Because for me to sit here and do the same thing that made this situation come back around twice and expect a different outcome is stupid. Like it's literally fucking delusional. If you want to break a cycle you're stuck in,

you have to break the pattern of your behavior to get out of it. Quit doing the same shit that keeps you stuck in a cycle. As soon as you make one change, you're out, you broke it. It's literally just one decision. One decision will break any cycle you're stuck in. So just look at what is keeping you stuck in it. What do you keep repeating? That is contributing to the cycle repeating

and then break that shit, stop doing it. Think of other things to do. It's all able to be changed by you, I promise. So just hunt for those explanations. And it's not gonna feel comfortable to do something different from what you've always just done. There's safety, and certainty and predictability and a cycle.

So for you to do something to break it, are you sure you wanna break that cycle and step out of it? You gotta assess that in yourself too. Because when you break that, there's no more predictability. There's no more certainty, there's no more safety. There's no more nothing that you're used to. It's gonna snap you out of that fucking cycle.

Are you ready for it? If you are, change it. All right, the next situation is just one of many. A lot of you wrote in about what to do after school. So someone said, how do I know what to do after I graduate school? I'll be graduating soon and I still have no clue what to do after. Girl, nobody fucking does. So when I graduated high school, I took advice from my mom and went into nursing school and I was gonna go become a nurse on esthetis, like I literally jumped in at 18. Like after high school, there was one week before summer classes started at the college that I wanted to go to and I was allowed to jump in that fast and I did. So after high school, I had one week off and I jumped immediately into my college courses because I was like, let's speed

this shit up because I went to school over the summer when everybody else was partying. And when the fall semester came around, I was already a few classes ahead. I think I took three courses over the summer. It was hard, but I was three classes ahead of everybody. And I graduated as a nurse at 21. Like two months after my 21st birthday, I was a nurse.

So I like to get ahead, I like all that shit, but what I did was follow kind of like a plan because I had no sense of direction. Like I was like, okay, nursing is something that I can do. I love learning about the body. We all live in one, it makes sense. I learned a shit ton, but I just basically picked something. I knew I could make stable money at.

I'd be safe, I had job security, I learned about the physical body, I learned how to deal with everything health-related, and I got experience in the hospital, like everybody goes to a hospital at least once, and everybody lives in a human body, so I wanted to learn everything I could about it, because I'm stuck in one. But since graduating as an earthen working, I realized quickly it's not what the fuck I wanted to do, and I quickly jumped ship, and started doing everything that I want to do, and look at me now,. Everything worked and I had no fucking clue that this is where I would end up or this is even an inkling of what I would be doing. I had never even imagined this. But my point behind saying all of this is don't stress too much about picking the right thing and figuring out what the thing is that you're meant to do.

People are not meant to pick one fucking thing at 18 years old and do it for the rest of their life. Look at anyone who's done that and come back and tell me how fucking miserable they are. To expect people to just make a decision at 18 years old for what they wanna do with their life and their career without having that much life experience and expecting them to just like never grow

and change and evolve to have new desires and want to do different things. That's unrealistic. So give yourself a little grace from that pressure. It's gonna feel like a big pressure, but don't stress too much about finding the right thing. There is no right thing. You're gonna outgrow shit. You're gonna change. You're gonna level up.

I don't know how many people actually haven't had a career switch at some point in their life. There's not a lot of people who just pick one thing and stick with it for the rest of their life till they retire. It's very rare actually. But I'm friends with a very, very successful surgeon. And I asked him a long time ago, if he could go back to being 18 years old, what would he do? Because he's a surgeon now. Makes a fuck ton of money at that. And he also got into real estate and he does a lot of investing with that

and he makes like three times what he makes as a surgeon and real estate, but he's able to invest in the real estate because of what he makes as a surgeon. If you play the shit right, you can really stack on it. But he's so incredibly business smart and it's like everything he touches just turns to fucking gold and I was like how does he know what he knows? So I actually asked him like a year ago. if you could go back to being 18 years old and you graduated high school, what would you have done different? Like what would you do? If you didn't know what you wanted to do, if you didn't know if you wanted to be a surgeon or not, he was like, I didn't know if I wanted to fucking be a surgeon, I just did it. And I forced myself to do it because of my parents or whatever. But he looked at me and was like Leo, honestly what I would do if I could

go back to being 18 years old is I would get all my shit Put it in a couple of bags and just go travel the fucking world Go pick up odds and ends jobs Random fucking places he literally was like I would just go run away I just go travel the fucking world get my backpack. I'm young. I'm resilient I can do it and just go work odds and ends jobs Money's gonna come and go. It'll teach you how to toughen the fuck up.

It'll teach you business. It'll teach you sales. It'll teach you everything you need to know and the experiences and the people you'll meet. He's like, that would have just sped everything up for me. That's the advice from someone who is way more successful than me right now. That's just a little insight I wanted to throw out like another perspective, but what I would do and what I really encourage is

Go to fucking school for something that you know is stable and will make you decent money and you can live worry about Finding your purpose and all that fucking shit that spirituality preaches once you got money and once you're stable And you have a plan beat a fall back on because what I have still taken the risk to pursue everything that I've done if I didn't have nursing as a cushion and know at any moment if everything I'm taking a risk for fails I always knew I can at least just go back to nursing make decent money work be fine I was able to go and jump and take these risks because I built myself a launching pad of stability and safety. It's harder to take a risk

when you have nothing to fall back on. So if you're young and you don't know what the fuck you want to do, go to school for something. Research everything there is. Go shadow people, go work with the countenance, go shadow a nurse, go talk to all the people in the positions you are considering holding, ask about the details of the job, ask about if they like it, how did they get there, what do they suggest, what would they do different, go talk to these fucking people, but I would say pick something that will give you a sense of stability where you can get out on your own, be independent, learn some fucking skills, and be okay, because when you have that under you, then you can

worry about going and pursuing what it is that makes you happy and fulfilled and you're joy and all that shit. You need to go learn stuff first. You need to go have some experience, get something under your belt where you can be self-sufficient. And then you can worry about the whole leg being happy shit. Okay, so our next situation is about cheating. I'm the one to ask about that shit, girl.

I'm so sensitive. I'm like, if you look at somebody else, you just cheat it. Not really. I'm very logical and I'm very rational. But when it comes to relationships, bitch, I'm quick with it. I'm quick to react on my emotions when I care about somebody like that. And I'm very sensitive to disrespect. But this girl said,

I recently caught my boyfriend of two and a half years getting off to TikTok hose. I consider it a form of cheating. He doesn't. I'm starting to trust him again after a couple of months. Am I wrong to do so or am I crazy for thinking that is cheating? My boyfriend said that he doesn't like being labeled as almost a cheater since it was basically just porn. He also went on Q&A websites to see if people's opinions on similar situations matched his

to prove me wrong that it's not cheating and it's just a simple talk about boundaries. This all comes down to you have different versions of what you think cheating is. You see it as cheating, he doesn't. The disconnect is very clear. You will never convince him that that is cheating. And you are unstable in your definition of cheating. So you're questioning it now. Is it cheating? Am I wrong? He's dead set. He's not questioning. Shit. He's a 100% solid. That's not fucking cheating. And he's looking up other things to validate his beliefs on it to prove you wrong. Because he sees that you're unstable

in your belief. If you truly believe that is cheating, you should have been left as fucking ass. So what I'm going to say for you to do is get very clear on what your definition of cheating is. If you can sit down and lift out what cheating is to you, question it, evaluate it, assess it, do I want to choose that as my definition of cheating? Yes or no? If you decide that him getting off to TikTok hose is a form of cheating for you, that's

not up for discussion. If you see that as cheating according to your definition and that as a deal breaker for you, that is not up for discussion. If that is a deal breaker, break the deal. No deal, bitch. You don't get to beat off the TikTok hose and fucking date me at the same time I personally would not be cool with it. I don't really think it's cheating, but It don't fucking sit right with me and you not can it do me

But honestly like I always do I'm gonna read into this shit a little bit more For you to say that something bothers you and you don't like that he's beating off the TikTok hose and for him to have the reaction of, I didn't do shit wrong, it's not cheating. That's a big indicator, there's a disconnect there and you need to get your fucking ass out. He's not worried about what he's doing that hurts your feelings.

He's operating off of definitions. That's not cheating, I didn't do anything wrong. He cares more about clearing his name and having his conscience cleared than considering the way that you feel. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but the way that I care about somebody, if you're bothered by something, I'm concerned about it. It's not going to sit right with me that you're bothered. I'm going to check in. I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to figure out why it bothered you. I'm going to try and clear things up

and make sure we're on the same understanding and the same page. If you're upset, you're allowed to fucking be upset, even if it sounds irrational. We're gonna get to the bottom of it. There's a reason you feel upset. And for him to take the approach of like, no, I didn't do anything wrong, we're not talking about it.

I'm fine. He's just completely just discarding you in the way that you feel and leaving you to deal with it. Is that a fucking relationship? No. You don't get in a relationship to be the only one left to deal with the way that you feel. That is not a partnership at all. That's someone you're going through life next to. That's not someone you're going through life with.

Oh, this one makes me excited. Someone said, should you lower your standards for a fling since they aren't making the investment for a relationship? Nope. Basically you're asking, should I lower the price for someone to get access to me because they don't want to pay yet? Episode 68 of my podcast is all about standards and how they keep you safe.

I know it's enticing to kind of be like, all right, I just want to like kind of drop my standards a little. It's okay. Because I'm not like, I don't want to do a full relationship. So I'm just going to lower my standards and get with this person. It's not that big of a deal. It's easy to convince yourself of that when it's like that. But when you look at it, what it truly is of like devaluing yourself for a fling, it's harder to just drop your standards. And the main reason I don't drop my standards for a fling, for a fling. It's harder to just drop your standards. And the main reason I don't drop my standards for a fling, for a hookup, for a

friends with benefits, for none of that shit. I don't do hookups no more. I don't know if I'll do a friends with benefits. I made a commitment to myself the next person that I fuck is gonna be someone that I'm dating. I'm not giving people sexual access to me like that. Like it's you got to be of quality enough caliber. And I'm gonna go through a lot of assessments of you before I even date you and that's gonna let me know you are of quality for me to like give myself to like that. But the biggest thing that helps me not drop my standards for a hook up or a fling or anything like this is the next person you go to date. If you're over here dealing with people having flings and hookups with people

who aren't shit, the next person you date is gonna assess you as way less valuable because if I meet a guy and I know he's got all these scenes going for him and he's great and he's this and that and he matches me and I see the people that he used to hook up with and have flings with and I see that they're not equal value to him like he was basically settling and just like going for that shit I'm gonna look at it like okay like that's what you think you're worth Why the fuck would I get with you if you're over here fucking people like that? That's embarrassing. I don't want to be that for the next person that I'm with

I want the next person that I'm with to know Nobody gets access to Leo and he actually does know his own value He's not over here just settling for flings and sexual desires and shit like that. If you actually want to be someone valued and you want to actually be a match to someone who is at your standards, you can't be dropping them for no one. Because like, what the fuck do you look like over here fucking some loser? Just because you're bored and you want to fling?

Is it worth it? Is it worth losing the person who you could potentially date, who is all of your standards for this person, for now? Is it worth it? But that's my biggest thing, it's like, I don't want to ever be an embarrassment to who I'm with. So, the next guy I date, you're not gonna have fucked with anybody nasty or weird or gross, and neither have I. And when you meet someone like that that and you both match like that

please and I hate that it is like that I hate that's the way it is like for me to look at a guy and he's like been with people who were like Joe Schmose or like below his standards I'm gonna just be like I'm gonna look at him different like you can fuck whoever you want I'm not horshaming I'm not slutshaming go fuck whoever you want. I'm not horshaming. I'm not slutshaming. Go fuck whoever you want of caliber. Do not drop your standards to this fuck to fuck. That's how you devalue yourself. When you fuck these no good, nobody asks people. Stop dropping your standards. Like if you want to go fuck around, fuck around with people in your echelon, bitch. Fuck people on your standards. That's hot. Like when you have a track record of like You've hooked up with five people who are all high quality people all at your standards and match you

That's not intimidating for the next person to be with. That's like all right You best come correct and have your shit together But if you fucked five people who are beneath your standards the next person that comes to you That's actually at your standards is gonna be like All right, this is the last situation for this episode of what what Leo do standards, the next person that comes to you that's actually at your standards is gonna be like, alright this is the last situation for this episode of what Leo do. So this girl said, I have trouble making girlfriends because of my anxiety. Even though I have opportunities to make girlfriends, I feel like I fuck it up because I pull myself back and thanks too much about how they view me. Any tips on overcoming this? My first tip is watch what you speak over yourself. You

said, I have trouble making girlfriends because of my anxiety. That is going to do nothing but make your anxiety and enemy. You're going to turn your anxiety into the scapegoat. My anxiety is why I don't have the life that I want. My anxiety is why I don't have friends. My anxiety is ruining my fucking life. Don't speak that over yourself. That's a very powerless way to live. You have to face the reality of a situation and speak what is really happening. So I have a desire to make friends that are girls.

I have opportunities to do that, but I feel anxiety and then I let it stop me from putting myself out there, from acting on these opportunities. I let it stop me from putting myself out there from acting on these opportunities. I let it stop me is different from I can't do it because of my anxiety You let it stop you every single human being walking this earth has anxiety Some people are more crippled by it than others, but it's a normal human emotion Anxiety is fucking normal as fuck, okay?

Everyone freaking out. That like anxiety is so bad. So many pharmaceutical companies make so much money off of convincing people that they're very normal emotions, means that something is wrong with them, and that their emotions are not okay, and that they are bad, and they can sell you shit, they can sell you medications, they can prescribe you things, and you take them. There's nothing wrong with anything that you fucking feel. Not a single emotion is bad or wrong.

You've been taught they're bad or wrong. And your reactions to them make them seem bad or wrong. So that's my first tip for overcoming this is stop speaking things over yourself that take away your power because that's what you're doing. My second tip is you said I pull myself back and think too much about how they view me. If you're gonna do this, you really need to think about how these other people are viewing you.

Really climb out of your fucking perspective and climb into a girl across the room that you wanna be friends with. Look at yourself. Do you look weird? Do you look not normal? Do you look fucking strange? Is it weird for you to come talk to me?

How would I feel if that person, you, came over and talked to me and showed interest in being friends with me? I would feel good. I'd be excited. You also are convincing yourself you're the only one that wants friends. It feels good for people to take interest in you. It feels really good for people to want to be friends with you. So, from the perspective of the person that you want to be friends with, if you keep getting crippled by worrying about how they're perceiving you, fully perceive yourself.

Like I said, you feel how you feel, you want female friends. So the perspective of the person that you're considering being friends with, I want friends too. Would I be happy if she came over and talked to me? Hey, yeah? Would it make my fucking day honestly? Yeah, you're not the only one that's looking for connection babe I promise I just really want you to take a second to look at that and see that you don't look strange And it's not weird for you to want to make friends. That's very normal It's very fucking normal But I'll also take it one step further as the perspective of the person that you want to be friends with if you're looking over at yourself What makes that bitch fucking weird what makes me not want to be friends with if you're looking over at yourself, what makes that bitch fucking weird?

What makes me not want to be friends with her? Fully perceive yourself and then fix that shit. You being over there all anxious and freaky and weird, or if you're like me and you get anxious and you go stone cold mean, and you just like shut down physically like on the external years go through the motions, I look like a mean motherfucker. Do you look mean? Do you look sweet? Do you look like you're someone that I would want to approach? Because people probably think about approaching you too.

Everyone wants friends. So look at is there anything you're doing to repel people? Is there anything about you that makes you like, okay, that's fucking mad weird. Like if you're over here just like freaking out antsy, like anxious and you just look really awkward, fix it. Start identifying what is weird about you by climbing into the opposite perspective.

Stop like half dabbling with how you're being perceived by others and fully look at that shit and clear it up. Assess it, reassure yourself, give yourself the grace, and then fix the shit that makes you look weird. But I've had to do this with myself a lot. I have to do it almost daily, where I like tap into the perspective of someone else

to assess myself, to give myself reassurance, you don't look fucking weird. And like if you're worried about something that you're saying, okay, if someone came over and said this to me, how would I feel? And then don't say that if it makes you feel fucking weird, or think of something that would evoke the response

that you wanna have. Don't ever think it too much. Just flip into other people's perspectives all day long. If you're worried about how you look and you're worried about how something will come across, just perceive it happening to you. How would you feel? Would you like it? And what would you like? And then do that for other people. All right, that's all we got for this episode of What Would Leo Do. If you want to be in the next episode, the link will be in the description, like I said, for you to submit your situation. All of my social media and everywhere you can follow me will also be in the description,

and if you like this video, leave it a big fat thumbs up, and if you're listening to the audio version of this podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, leave me a five star rating. Thank you so much. We're trending, bitch. This podcast is number fucking one in the education category. What? I saw that the other day I freaked the fuck out like I posted on Instagram and I was like everybody who believed in me Thank you everybody who didn't choke So we're number one for education and we're number two in all categories only person about me is Joe Rogan Fine But bitch what the fuck like I just wanted to say that and just say thank you for a second because what the hell

Let me just over here just sitting at my desk talking shit Charded what oh my god. I love you guys so fucking much everybody be safe take care of yourself Keep up with me on Instagram and take talk in all those places because I've been posting a lot more on my stories and shit I hope this was helpful. I love you all to death and I will talk to you guys next Sunday I've been posting a lot more on my stories and shit. I hope this was helpful. I love you all to death. And I will talk to you guys next Sunday.