Castle Super Beast - CSB 013: Unstoppable Octoroon Devil Trigger
Episode Date: April 10, 2019Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps DMC5 Spoilercast, Roguelikes, cursed subreddits and a lesson in what it's like to not be American. You can watch us record the podcast live o...n twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Devil May Cry 5 OST Silver Bullet Lancer is a mud-and-lasers tabletop roleplaying game centered on modular mechs and the pilots who crew them Hunt the Night - 16 bits dark fantasy action-adventure game Super Mario Odyssey And Zelda: Breath Of The Wild Getting Labo VR Support Devil May Cry™: The Bloody Palace Taika Waititi Confirms His Live-Action AKIRA Project Is Still In Development Kevin Feige Says It Will Be "A Very Long Time" Before We See The X-MEN In The Marvel Cinematic Universe Netflix's Live-Action COWBOY BEBOP Series Sets Cast Samurai Shodown launches June 27 for PS4 and Xbox One in Japan, summer for arcades, and winter 2019 for Switch and PC Anti-gravity combat racer Formula Fusion rebranded Pacer, coming to PS4, Xbox One, and PC in 2019 Furi ‘Freedom Update’ now available New Darling in the Franxx—Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Crossover Movie Announced
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Discussion (0)
OOOHHHH.
Don't worry about it.
Okay.
Hey man, what's up?
Uh, you've heard of spontaneous combustion?
I've heard of spontaneous human combustion, yes.
I've heard articles about it in high school because I was way in that.
Have you heard about spontaneous nuptials?
Oh, we're doing this, huh?
Not fully.
Okay.
Just a toe in.
Alright.
Because framework needs to be established for how weird of a mood I'm in.
Uh-huh.
That's all.
Yeah, because I was, yeah, okay, you know what, take it away.
You had the respect to assume that it wouldn't be going there.
And you're correct in that it's not, but at the very least weird spontaneous nuptials
have occurred within the family, and I'm in a weird frame.
You should rephrase that slightly, because you're implying that spontaneous nuptials are
happening within your family.
Oh.
Oh, obviously not entirely within the family.
Oh, yes.
But you're describing a family member had a spontaneous nuptial.
Yes.
And, and.
Context, clues.
Yeah.
And, and, uh, flip a coin, throw a dart, last minute weddings were had, and it's a little
bit odd.
So, uh, things are a little bit weird.
But, um, I'm, I'm, I'm feeling pretty well rested.
I'm feeling okay.
I do not like the fact that summer means like, uh, cons, cons events, cons, cons, wedding,
cons, cons of it, and random traveling and so on back to back.
But at the very least it's like, um, so I, Pat loves the bad weather.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, yeah, you'd wake up this morning.
Oh, I have a story for you.
You wake up this morning, you look outside, you live in Montreal.
What do you got?
Full-on fucking winter going on.
April 9th.
Yeah.
Proper snowfall.
Shit.
Um, my birthday is on the 22nd.
I have had two birthdays that if I remember correctly had snowstorms on them.
Yeah.
And I remember looking outside going, this is bullshit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a weird one.
I think the, like, like in particular, I think I like, I touched, I had like two days
on the ground before I had to like jump back into another plane.
And, um, that kind of feeling is going to sort of continue.
And I was, in this case, it was like, hey, it was down to like, uh, you know, sunny
southern America, that's South America, southern states.
Yeah.
Where, you know, things are pretty, whatever.
Hey, look, it's the sun.
And then you're, it looks like what April should feel like.
Yeah.
And then maybe a little misty.
Yeah.
And then flying back, you, it was like, you know, suddenly you're in ground.
You're in gray clouds.
Yeah.
Um, you hit one of those turbulence pockets.
Yeah.
I love those.
Where your, your ass is out of your seat.
Hold on to this.
I got to move the thing.
Dude, dude, you got to do.
Um, yeah.
It doesn't happen often, right?
But I had an ass out of seat drinks in midair turbulence drop.
Fucking sick.
And that's dope.
That's the ones.
That's the ones where you're like, oh yeah.
Fuck stats on riding a car or walking outside versus a plane.
And fuck the fact that the numbers on flying a plane are infinitely more safe than they
are doing any other form of transportation.
I'm in a metal cone in the sky.
You're just, you're just on.
I'm sorry if you're listening to this on a plane right now.
You're just on a bumpy road in the air.
Um, and then you go and you're just like, right, what is turbulence?
What is, what is the, you know, how does, what's the brain?
And you're like, okay, yes, yes.
It's just a gravel road in the sky.
Something that sometimes the wind will hit the thing and then sometimes the wings will
remember.
It's totally.
Planes can bend.
Oh yeah.
The wings can bend almost 90 degrees.
That's shit's nuts.
It's insane, but it's awesome.
It's like, and like, and it's tested to the point where, because I read the full turbulence
back and forth and forth.
It's tested so that it can bend to within an inch of its life.
It's funny cause like you say, fuck the stats.
The stats give me great comforts.
Yes.
Actually.
Yeah.
Like I feel, aside from the seating arrangements and the usual shenanigans, also, you know,
aside from flying, I feel remarkably at peace in a plane.
I'm like, haha.
Yeah.
But then you, then you, then you do a, again, then you jump out of your seat.
And that's cool.
And then you, and then you see the turn happen before like it rates your side.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When's the last time you had one of those?
I don't know.
A couple of years ago.
Okay.
Was that the reaction you had at the time?
Well, my first reaction was, whoa.
And then I was like, haha.
Yeah.
It's like a little bumpy roller coaster.
Mm hmm.
You can almost feel the like the fucking, you know, the Bain venom juice that goes and
you can feel like everything in your body, like, like stimming up in those moments.
You know what I'll tell you, dude?
Did you ever?
Okay.
Yeah.
You ever traveled to, you, you went to Chattanooga at least once or twice, right?
Yeah.
You hop on the bus, right?
Do you remember before they fixed the highway next to the reserve?
It used to be that big fuck circle.
Sure.
Right.
I would take the bumpiest plane ride ever over a bus driver hitting that curve too hard
and you can feel the bus wanting to go up on two wheels.
Mm hmm.
You know that feeling where you're like, this motherfucker's going to tip over?
That's way scarier to me.
Because the plane can tip over all the fuck it wants.
No worry there.
And there's no other drivers to hit.
I guess.
Well, there's birds.
I guess.
I think we changed the fact that there's something like that is like, there's something
illogical or irrational, I should say, within you that like understands all those facts,
but is still just like, but the height though.
So, so the goofiest thing is that our situation should be reserved or reversed because you're
usually the calm one and I'm usually the very big anxious one in whom statistics matter
not.
I'm not an anxious flyer.
No.
No, I'm talking an anxious person.
Well, because I mean, like my brother, for example, was he refused to use them for years,
but it's still it's the Lord's domain.
But let's also like, how do you, I guess, and there's a whole whatever, you know, there,
like, you know, I remember for a while, John Madden refused to, he refuses to fly, which
is why that big, the Madden tour bus was like a thing, right?
And I know a couple other famous, like people have similar things where they're like, they
will not fly.
They just bus it everywhere on ground and they make a big celebration of them being huge
cowards.
Yeah.
But anyway, like I said, it's, it's, it's every once in a while.
And in particular, I've had more of them with there's, there's a Canadian airline called
Porter.
Yeah.
Right.
And it's the, I've flown that more times than every other airline I've ever flown.
And that's the one that to me is the worst because that's where I've had the, it's because
it's the baby plane because you're on a prop plane.
Yeah.
You're more or less on a prop plane and that is where the bumpiest, unsmoothest landings
and rides and utter chaos, like you're, you're fine.
And then the moment the scent begins and then like the landing gear pops out is when those
planes, you start to feel parts flaking off of them.
Yeah.
And they're, maybe my experience is different because like before they land, when I was a
little kid, my mom and I took a trip to the Bahamas and you go to Fort Lauderdale and
then you go to Grand Bahama, I think it was.
And then from Grand Bahama, we went to, no, you go to Nassau or whatever.
Then you, we went to Grand Bahama and that flight was a propeller plane, but like the
cargo thing was just a, a back of the plane covered with like a tarp in the middle.
And you could hear like winds going through like some of the gears.
Dude.
And I remember being like a little kid like, ha, ha, the plane sucks.
I mean, like I've, I've, I've flown on fucking, uh, Bewey.
I float on the air carib like, like lines, you know what I mean?
Like the Caribbean airlines.
Like I've been on some shitty ass fucking planes, but the level of just like what is
going on as you pull into Billy Bishop in Toronto is like, it's, it's, it's been a
consistent, why is this thing falling apart?
It's not falling apart.
It's just small and there's a little bit of turbulence.
I know that there's an American like shitty airline that is like you get for cheap flights
and it's, and it's like, I forgot the name of it, but everyone makes fun of it all the
time.
And I'm like, yeah, I get the reference because everyone makes fun of it, but I, I'm not
American.
So I don't actually know what the thing is, but, um, I kind of come off of these things
just going, every time I'm like, dude, fuck it, fly direct, spend the extra, hurt yourself,
pay the money and make it not spirit, spirit.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Spirit.
Everyone talks about shitty spirit airlines, right?
And it's one of those things where I'm just like, never again, just pay the extra
to fly direct, not have to do a fucking transfer and, and fly a big ass, stupid Airbus crazy
fucking plane.
I like air that's so huge that any wind will just hit it and it'll go, whatever, you know,
not that's not that that's how it works.
It's not how that works.
But at the very least, the weird prop shit doesn't happen where you look out and you
see the, the propeller slow down and then like speed back up.
It sounds like you're saying like spend money to comfort your goblin.
It might be.
I mean, tell you what, like if you don't, if you don't have to have, if you want to
talk numbers, right, it's take off and touchdown.
Yeah.
So if you take two to take off some touchdowns and you've turned them into one, then, then
you're increasing your safety odds by statistically infinite negligible amount.
All right.
Let's, let's, uh, someone's probably listening to this on a plane.
Let's not.
Let's dive off.
Don't look at the wing, buddy.
Yeah.
Um, shout outs to, uh, that Reddit where it's just like thoughts that you have all the
time that you like, you don't know why you have them and you can't get rid of them.
Uh-huh.
And the one where it's just like, what if I just pulled the escape right now?
What if I just, oh, you mean like every moment of my entire life, what if I just hit the
exit row right now?
What if I just, what if I tried it?
We've talked about this and walking down the street, dude, dude, dude, dude, hey, look,
it's someone standing in front of a television camera.
What if I just ran up and knocked that shit to the floor or made a funny face or took
my dick out?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
But the, no, but the longer we spend on the topic, the weirder it gets as I have more
flights in this year left.
Yeah.
And if one of them just goes wrong and then you come back to listen to this podcast and
go, oh man, it just got weird.
Does the call out right now make it triple weird?
What if, like, what if you get on the plane and your carry on is a parachute that's labeled
parachute and you are asked, hey, what's up with that, man?
And you're like, just, just being sure.
Yeah.
Go check the numbers on jump, jumping out of a plane and with a parachute and seeing
how that works out.
Spoiler alert, it doesn't.
People do it for fun.
Yeah.
And do that in depressurized cabin chambers where it's meant for that to happen.
Why are you looking all this shit up?
Oh, no, that, that I already knew.
Okay.
But yeah, it's not the same if you're in a fucking normal cabin and you know, but anyway,
I'm not too worried about it.
I'm not worried.
I'm not worried about it either.
You sound kind of worried about it.
I bring it up because I had a really bad turbulence bump.
I've had a couple of those over the course of my life, like only few as bad as this one
was.
Yeah.
And it's in my, it's on my recent events of things that happened and see.
For lack of podcast topics to discuss.
Uh-huh.
I'm like, let's talk about the book.
I actually have a ton of the shit that I played this week, so that works out.
Great.
But like, I don't understand worrying about things like plane crashes.
I think people should worry about, you know, real threats like centipedes eating through
their cans.
Yes.
Despite the fact that you can eyeball a can for holes.
Okay.
Did you see that exchange?
Yes.
Because my favorite part of the, and that's, and your brain immediately goes, right.
And we ignore the part where we can eyeball the can for the holes where the eggs would
hatch.
That's not what I'm talking about.
Cause I may, I was talking to people on Twitter earlier this week about a time where I got
scared of a centipede and threw out all my food because I thought centipedes would lay
eggs in the cans and the cans would open up and attack me with centipedes.
And somebody went, why couldn't you just eyeball the cans to see if they had been open?
And my response was, how can you listen to me say that I'm afraid that centipedes laid
eggs in my cans and then I would open the cans and the centipedes would attack me and
ask such a reasonable question.
What, what fucking reasonable answer are you thinking I'm going to say?
Oh yeah, you're right.
I could have checked the cans for centipede damage.
Silly me.
It's quite simple and it's the basis of how and why I'm able to entertain this folly.
It's really, and what it comes down to, and it's the same thing a lot of the times when
I'm like, there's certain types of times where I'm like, I enjoy having a debate with somebody
or I enjoy getting into like certain types of confrontations.
Yes.
You know, it's like, it's when I found out about like, when you start rubbing your hands
like, yeah, like when I found out about like, like Steph's old racist neighbor that was
like, hey, you should never marry a black guy ever.
And then you showed up and I was like, can I meet this guy?
Oh, this is going to be exciting.
I super want to do it, right?
The centipede thing and that thing all come from the same place where I'm like, you're
so incredibly wrong about where you are that I want to come and dance in front of you and
have fun because eventually if you decide to sit down and go, wait, wait, hold on, let's
have a conversation, you're going to get blown the fuck out.
That's right.
If you don't want to do that, if you're just going to start yelling, you're going to get
blown the fuck out.
There's no, there's zero percentage, there's zero realities in the future where you can
have the stance you're holding and not get blown the fuck out.
So I want to show up for that because it's such a guaranteed home run that you're going
to get blown the fuck out that I want to be there and maybe even have, you get a teaching
moment out of it.
Maybe you'll learn something, right?
Yeah.
So, so when you go, oh, I know it makes no sense.
That's fine.
Oh, it's totally.
Then I'm like, well, then I can just, there's no fun here, I can coexist with that, whatever.
That's fine.
You know?
Then yeah, sure.
It's the, it's when someone's like, no, I know it makes no sense.
I know I'm wrong.
I know it's dumb, but whatever, I'm going with it and I'm like, oh, well, that's, I'm
done.
I know what you have fun with is the experience I had.
I think I was like two years ago where it's talking to somebody and they're like, you
know, I just want to trust you with this.
I don't know why I feel like I can tell you the reason why I'm here is because when I
was little, the aliens told me to, and I'm like, yes, yes, I've been given a gift today.
Let's go.
Yeah.
I really got to sit down.
I wanted to be able to sit down and say that I watched beyond the, beyond the curve, but
I didn't watch it yet.
So I'm probably going to have that ready next week.
But you've, you've heard of that already.
I have no idea what you're talking about beyond the curve or behind the curve is a new Netflix
documentary about, guess what, flat fucking earth and they go deep in and they break open.
They break open.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm ready.
I want to go flat earth is my favorite one.
Yeah.
Because it's so, you can stand in a tall building and just fucking physically see it.
Well, you can't, but the fun part, you can, if you're high up enough, you can't see a slight
curve of the horizon.
The fun part is that, um, if you like, like when anyone who digs in to truly try and go
to what's the origin source here, it's, it's impossible to tell whether it was a latent
in existing religious thing amongst a bunch of people that were looking for the earth
to be 6,000 years old and who are like, no, it's flat or whether it was suck it or whether
it was that four-chan thread, right?
And it's like, it could have been either one and we don't know whether one informed the
other or they just both fucking yanked and created a self flat earth is motion hustlers
paradise.
Like we don't know what it was is the geological equivalent of those MS paint comics of troll
science, which is you holding a sheet and plugging in a fucking, uh, holding, uh, plugging
in a fucking fan into the thing and you go, aha, it's infinite.
It's infinite power.
It's like, are you fucking stupid?
Yeah.
I want to say, I want to say, uh, it's like someone found the time cube website, rallied
the base, got it together and decided to like create time cube merch and push it out whether
or not it was on that guy's behalf and then create an actual movement, you know, are you
which one is it?
There's, there's a fucking, I believe it's an internet thing pose law and is that never
a tribute to malice?
What you can equally no pose.
Lodge I was right.
So pose law is, is this it is where a position becomes so absurd that it is impossible to
tell whether or not it is sincerely held.
Yes.
Or parody.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Absolutely.
I occasionally embody this.
Yeah.
And I think that's the thing about it, right?
Because some people were like, because there's the shit where like, if you want to go trolling,
right, and some people are just going into and going into like maximum troll, uh, culture
one flat, it's a good one because it's not like fucking like anti-vax where you're like,
uh, oh, now like, this is really bad.
It's dangerous.
This kills people.
Absolutely fucking with something serious here.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You're not getting into that, that weird territory.
You're not getting into the, into the fucking, uh, the Alex Jones, Sandy Hook shit.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Oh man.
Because, but it's like when you're a conspiracy, because that's the thing is where you're going
into like, okay, but mental illness though, right?
And you're scratching on something where the unknown, the darkness, the thing, the answers
we don't know, no matter how much light is in the room, whatever little bit of shadow
is left, you can always go, but we don't know what's in there.
Yeah.
And that's something.
The human center universe.
Yeah.
It's that, that search that you just can't, you can't get rid of.
It's something that is like, you're scratching on something really bad that, that is like
actually.
A problem this person has.
It comes from a personality trait in which like, uh, people need to feel like there
is a grander, anything, a grander, anything, order in life.
Uh, you're also looking at like the fact that we are categorization machines.
Yeah.
We're really good at like uncovering forming groups and associations, what have you and
folding things.
Yeah.
So we really, really, really want to do that even when there's no need to, right?
So we are totally aware of all that, but Flat Earth is one of those things where you
just, you pull back out and you're like, this is so utterly nonsensical that how can
you not just like laugh and, and, and be kind of when you see the guy go up with the level
and he puts it on the fucking plane, uh, uh, seating tray and records the level as the
plane takes off and lands.
And then at the end, he takes it away and is like, hmm, what it stayed level the whole
time.
And you're like, you're, you're a goddamn fool.
Yeah.
And, and, and aside from the nebulous like erosion of intellectualism and whatever anti
science thing, like that's a minor thing, but all in all, it's like, Jimmy thinks the
earth is flat again, which is, Hey, Hey, Hey, what's his name?
Lemmy.
Hey, Lemmy, which is heavier.
Yeah.
A pound of, of pound of feathers or a pound of steel.
Yeah.
Now some, like, like some, uh, of them go to that level too, because there's the, there's
the, like the hip hop and like hyper weird religious versions of it, or are you getting
to that?
Like the B O B stuff and whatever.
I'm sorry.
Did you just describe hip hop, hyper religious flat earth?
Yes.
Those who are aware that one, that's, that's exactly, no, that's what it is.
Okay.
I'm just saying I missed that, that one.
There's massive overlap in a bunch of like book communities where like B O B, for example,
one of the guys pushing it out there is like amongst the group of people that are like
pushing this from a hip hop angle where they're like, okay, but like flat earth's hip hop,
question everything and, and, you know, like they're out to get us and, you know, hey man,
MK ultra co Intel pro, we know about that shit cracking the hood.
So why would this not be the next step, right?
And it's literally coming from that place.
And then there's the 6,000 years place as well.
So and that's the religious angle.
Yeah.
And so there's a little, there's all these different pockets where you like, you, you
turn it into like the origin of nonsense.
What is, what is the fucking explanation for flat earth and time zones?
Well, the level two, that's actually really funny that I can't get like, wrap my head
around is that it's like the level two is that like you have the fucking ice walls at
the end.
Yeah.
Game of Thrones style.
Yeah.
And then the old ice wall and then like this is all the actual zone anders for the containment
dome.
Yeah.
That were placed in for observation from the aliens who placed us here years ago.
Yeah.
I can't, the aliens who've just placed us on a spheroid, right?
Why would it have to be a flat, don't like, why couldn't you just skip the flat dome part
based on the obvious, unlike tons of evidence we have and just go straight to the other?
Because that's a lot harder to argue with and go like, yeah, we're inside a spheroid
like, yeah, sure.
I have a strong, I can get there way quicker than I can get to the one where you're like,
but thus we're inside of a fucking, you know, I, I have a, I have a strong, I have a strong
feeling that many, much of this comes from people who never leave whatever generalized
location they are from, because the existence of things like physically experiencing a different
time zone.
So again, it seems like the documentary will get into the fact that what it actually is,
is a sense of community that you don't want to lose, which guess what?
A sense of community around literally anything can have sense of community over fucking TV
shows from 94 around literally anything as history has proven, whatever, does not mean
that you're any more right or any more wrong.
Like it's like you literally can have a sense of community around the most nonsense and
not want to lose it.
And thus you're going to buy into the populism is a good source for facts.
Wait a second, box, pop you like, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, if we all believe it, it'll be real.
I mean, the fucked up part is the times when it's like, there are the few clear examples
of like, oh, shit, that conspiracy was super real, you know, and you have an actual thing
of like, oh yeah, a lot of people did lie about this thing.
And it took a while for that to come out.
So I would like to that is like, oh, no, you just, you just fucking.
You squeal Homer squirted onto the barbecue, like all the fucking kerosene and letter fluid,
you know, just to stoke that fire that would have been faded out by now.
So I would like to make a distinction because I'm sure it'll come up, right?
And like work, we're comparing flat eartherism to like kind of religious sentiment.
Granted, flat earthers, I'm going to assume a good proportion, maybe most are not
necessarily religious, but that's not what I'm talking about.
There's a specific word for it.
And it's a logical fallacy.
It's called magical thinking.
It's called like a plus B equals magic fucking whatever.
Right.
It's the same kind of thinking of, huh, I better wear my lucky sock to the big game
today.
So my team will win just applied to fucking anything.
It also assumes that like, you know how you like, you know, how like when you're
standing at the bottom, it's impossible to tell how high the mountain top is.
And when you're halfway up the middle, you know exactly how much of a
day's climb it's going to be.
That's correct.
Climbed halfway.
Yeah.
But it still seems pretty far away, but you have a much better, better viewpoint.
Yeah.
It's a bit of that where, yeah, where you're like, you actually think that quote
unquote people in control are way more coordinated and like intelligent than they
are the, the Illuminati are just the same bunch of Jagovs.
You are.
You think that we'll have money as an alien support.
Yeah, right.
Well, and like the, the, you know, the.
And the whole like, you know, fucking like, so, so scratching the microphones out
of your skin thing is quite a distance from my phone detecting what ad I'm going
to be like my phone hearing me talk about diapers and then showing me diaper ads later.
I mean, we wanted to put tape on my cameras, right?
Cause those are literal cameras and Alexa fucking sitting in your house.
The, I feel, I feel a little, I feel, cause like when I was younger, I was
weighing the conspiracy theories, but as like a, like a fascination, like I just
thought they were interesting.
I didn't actually buy in and as I've gotten older, all I can think of is like how
disappointing that whole thing is, is because you don't really need conspiracy
theories anymore cause so much of the world is like overtly crooked.
Like when it comes out, hey, sometimes your phone might accidentally overhear
your conversation and feed that to ad data.
What do you need your conspiracy theory after that?
Yeah, that's scary as shit.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's, it's really, that's all that's what it comes down to is like, it's like you
can probably assume that it, like whatever form of, you know, a mass
monitoring you're worried about is based on trying to sell you a car.
Yeah.
I actually probably, I actually, unless you live somewhere where it's actually
like in a political turmoil and shit.
I actually, there's a million asterisks I should put after that.
Yeah.
Because it sounds super ignorant to just throw it out there in a case where
people actually want to find out what you're up to.
But I need North America.
It's kind of like this weird thing.
I spoke to about this somewhat where I was talking about the Epic Store.
Everyone's new favorite thing to talk about, which I went and downloaded, whatnot.
You remember that, that, that big Reddit post that's like the fucking,
the fucking thing is scanning all your processes and stealing all your
information to sell to the Chinese government.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Remember that?
Well, that's a whole other thing.
Yeah.
Right.
So turns out that guy who made that post didn't know what he was doing and
smarter people than him went and like, no, this, these are just the laziest
programming ways you could do these, these things, blah, blah, blah.
And then it became a thing of like, okay, well, this reframes the discussion
of the Epic Store from this thing will kill your computer, steal your
social insurance number.
That would be your social security number for you, you Americans to this
store sucks, right?
Yes.
And let me get the actual name of that law because I really like it.
Um, the, the, I kept seeing over and over.
I saw tons of people on my Twitter going, I can't download the Epic Store
because Tencent is a fucking spy corporation for the Chinese government.
And I'm like, okay, let's unpack that slightly.
One, I don't know whether or not that's the case, but I'm going to assume
maybe not or whatever, but also be Tencent owns massive amounts of Ubisoft
and EA and Activision and Warframe.
And like, if they wanted the thing, they'd have it by now.
The slow buyout is way more effective.
And like, the other thing is that, uh, the, the, and I'm sure people are going
to think I'm an Epic Store show, but it's like, uh, it comes from this place.
Does that exist?
Yeah, totally.
Okay, well, it comes from this place where I see people ranting and reeling
and I questioned the intellectual honesty of the, the proposition or people
like, uh, is the Epic Store fucked up that it doesn't need email verification
to make your account?
Yes.
That is fucking stupid and they need to fix that ASAP, but people talk
about the Epic Store and losing their Fortnite accounts.
Like it's the greatest security threat in the universe.
I don't know if you remember, Willie, but last year on Christmas or maybe
it was the year before when you logged into Steam, there was a percentage
chance you would just log into somebody else's account and get to see their
address and fucking payment information.
Sick.
Do you remember that?
We did a fucking podcast story on it, right?
That was terrifying to me because at the time I had my credit card set up
and it didn't have my credit card number, but it did have my fucking home address.
And I don't know who the fuck logged in and saw that.
Right?
You see, that's we had Sony lose everyone's credit cards in un fucking
password protected shit.
Yeah, that's where the, uh, you know, like you have things in place where
like the two step, even if it gets past the two step, it's like, okay, well,
before you display information, you still have to do another salting it or some
shit. It's another form of confirmation, right?
Twitter does it.
A couple of the places do it.
It's like you have a password or a credit card in there.
Even if you're logged in, it's still not going to say, Hey, guess what?
Use PayPal on all your fucking online purchases because at the very least,
then they got to get through two layers of two factor authentication.
Yeah, but yeah, Hanlon's Razor.
That's what it's called.
Ham, uh, I never attribute to Malice.
That which can simply be explained by my stupidity.
The, the incompetence of the Houdini slash Penn and Teller version,
which is a cock up before conspiracy.
Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's just like, listen, people, hey, you're talking to
a friend of yours and he, and he's, he did a stupid shitty thing.
Is it because he's a fucking stupid idiot or is it because he's out to get you?
How many, how many masterminds have you met in your life?
How many morons have you met in your life?
Oh, no.
All right.
Planet Earth.
You know what I mean?
Like it's just that simple.
Anyway, speaking of the Epic store, that store sucks.
That's a bad store.
You know, there's no fucking category feature.
You got to scroll.
So it sounds like you spent your time looking at it.
I did.
Um, I played a shit ton of games this past week, one of which was off the Epic
store, but I'll get there at the end.
Um, well, if you read or watched American Gods, yes, you read it.
No, you watch it.
Yes.
That's a good TV show.
Yeah, I stopped a few episodes in.
However, that is like very interesting.
But mainly I'm like, I just want to see the acting.
Yeah.
Well, that is a character driven program.
Did you watch Deadwood?
No.
Okay.
Well, the dude who plays, what's his name?
He's like Swinger in Deadwood, I believe.
I forgot the guy's name exact name, but he's main fucking charismatic
dude with the mustache in American Gods.
He's he's he's an awesome actor and he's very fun.
And he's a good reason to like tune into any show that he's in because you're
like, yeah, I want to see you do the thing.
It's something about it, though, just like, or not, well, American Gods
also was a book.
It was a new game in a book.
Yeah, so.
Gaiman, Gaiman.
Yeah, I something didn't super latch on.
Like we gave it a give it a couple episodes and it was like, I was enjoying
what was there, but it didn't really hook to the point where I was like, I'm
going to keep going for me in McShane.
There you go.
For me, it's like my favorite fictionalized religious concept is that
like belief is equal to power influence.
Yes, that is my favorite thing.
Yes, because it it that makes sense to me.
Should make any sense in terms of in terms of divine beings.
Like and them like playing around with that and exploring that is fascinating.
You should read his other works.
Yeah, such as.
Transmettre, Paulton.
No, that has nothing to do with that.
OK, that's also that's the one everyone tells me the fucking.
Well, that's that's Warren Ellis, but I was going to say Sandman.
OK, Sandman.
That's the Neil Gaiman.
Oh, yeah.
No, that is the one.
That's Transmettre, Paulin's the other fun one.
That's hyper anti-capitalists, crazy, wacky future, because it's one of the
funniest, crazy.
It's one of the funnest, craziest pictures of the future compared to most
other sci-fi things.
It's great.
Transmettre's amazing, but no, Sandman is where you want to talk about
belief and power, because like you get to the so you didn't get to the end
of the season one finale, then.
No, OK, because like you get to this point where it's like, hey, it's Jesus
and like, oh, wow, they're doing it.
It's Jesus.
He's right there.
And then there's Japanese Jesus and then there's Mexican Jesus and then
there's Black Jesus and then there's white Jesuit Jesus and there's like
a hundred Jesuses all over the place, because yeah, because there are, but
then you have what do you call it?
Technically, you have technology, you have media, you have etc.
And then you have Crispin Glover being the creepiest motherfucker in the world.
I saw the black lady who was like, you know, have sex with her and then like get
sucked in.
That's right.
I was like, yeah.
Yeah.
I hope that goes somewhere because that was some weird shit.
It goes some places.
That shit was weird.
Yeah, that's that's a real that's one, I think that's like early.
It was a real weird.
But yeah, no, I had fun watching that.
It's fun.
So it's a fun little fun little thing.
What what tag would you put that one under?
It's not for that's giant tests.
No, no, no, no, but it's not for because you're not getting eaten.
No, but war is like absorption.
Unbirth, unbirth, unbirth, unbirth, unbirth, unbirth.
Take that melee.
Yeah, I've got it tagged shit correctly.
It's can't be out there tagging shit incorrectly.
Yeah.
Oh, speaking of tags, fucking congrats to Kofi Kingston.
That's awesome.
Oh yeah.
Congratulations, Kofi.
Super cool.
Never thought I'd see that thing.
Vince is rolling in his grave.
Yes, I am aware he is alive.
I mean, the funniest thing was like there's like a Mike Lawrence
Tito was just like everyone who people folks who are celebrating
the fact that like the first black champion is a thing today.
Just like kind of realized that they could have done this
any time they wanted to in the past.
They literally could have done this any time they wanted.
Oh, yeah.
But nonetheless, it's very cool, especially because he's the guy
that's worked super hard and has earned it.
Everybody likes Kofi.
Everyone likes that kind of story.
And seeing Xavier up there, like freaking out and having a good time.
And it was fun.
Yeah.
Seeing a wrestler mark out over a title win is like a special something.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, chat says Booker T.
But technically, people are arguing that doesn't count
because that was from the WCW championship.
Yeah, it wasn't the actual prestige of the main one.
So everyone will argue about that.
And I won't because I'm not the guy who can pull those numbers up
and I'm not that much of a smart.
It's about having the look woolly or the universal championship
being higher than that.
You can you can you guys can have that discussion.
I'm just happy for Russell Kingston.
It is. But it's also fantastic.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, well, you enjoy occasional good rogue like from time to time.
Yeah, I dabbled into rogue legacy for a good hot minute.
So I spent some time with that Crypt of the Necro Dancer.
I played a good bit of dead cells.
I spent some time with road games over the past week.
I went through all of the big ones, including some of the new ones
because the Enter the Gungeon update came out and have some quick thoughts
on most of them.
Crypt of the Necro Dancer is the best game that I am totally unable to play.
You want to try that again? Crypt of the Necro Dancer?
Yeah. What did I say?
Something else. Oh, I did.
OK, Crypt of the Necro Dancer is the best game that I am unable to play.
I figure it out.
I started streaming and I'm like, you know, this is what this game reminds me of.
It reminds me back when Rock Band came out and Willie would get super pissed off
at me when we would play it would switch off from drums
because Willie knows how music works.
And I was just playing a video game and hitting the buttons when the button showed up
and that was offensive to you as a concept.
And Necro Dancer takes that that experience
and flips it on me as I get to the second zone.
And I'm like, I don't understand.
It's not the truth, but it's funnier.
So we'll go. Oh, is that not what happened?
It's funnier. We'll go with it. OK.
I don't understand. I didn't move.
Why did he move?
And people are telling me because it's on the beat.
And I'm like, do you mean the dots?
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
And I'm like, then done done done and now now now now.
Not now now now now now now not now now.
Just hit it. Just hit a wall.
Yeah, a real wall on you can play it off beat and not get the bonus.
Yeah, like that sucks.
You and you can do the thing where you stand still sometimes
when you're trying to catch that beat again.
But yeah, it does suck.
You're right. And the game makes you feel bad
because the dance floor isn't lit.
Yeah. And it's like, OK, so that's fun.
Played the binding of Isaac.
There is you make it through the did you make it through the first level?
I've made it through the first zone.
OK, you fought a boss. Yeah.
OK, I fought the chess boss. OK. OK.
Yeah. So you get what it's about.
Yeah, I do. Yeah, it's just I'm so bad at it.
OK. And I appreciate it.
And I'm good for everybody excited for Cadence of Hyrule.
But I look at that and I go, yeah, it's probably I probably know for me.
That's going to be so good.
Went back to Isaac for the first time in a long time,
installed a mod that makes that game way better, way better.
It I have serious problems with Isaac and they were all fixed by this one mod.
And it's very simple.
This one fucking mod, this one weird trick.
The game's achievement system hates it.
And it is when you get within a certain distance of an item,
a text box appears on the screen and tells you what the fuck it does.
Yeah. Yeah, that's a huge one.
Because at some point after rebirth, there became so many items
that every part of your run was, oh, what's that?
OK, hold on. I'm going to pull up that pause.
Look for the picture. Yeah.
Well, for the picture, click it.
Well, I don't know what that means.
Like, it's I know that there's something to the like
the replay randomness and sort of like making it like a game
you can dive into with the community as you all try to solve together.
Yeah, but I don't. There's numbers that change, right?
Yeah, pick up the thing and you have to pick up
and figure out the specifics of exactly what happened.
But I agree, it would make the game way better if you could just see that.
Right. I agree.
The only problem is when I beat mom on that,
I discovered that you have to beat mom and mom's heart without any mods.
Yeah, to be able to unlock anything.
Yeah. And after I was like, OK, I'll go back.
I mean, you still have to be good at using what you've picked up to survive.
Yeah, it's just I felt.
It's just now that you now you have a better idea of what like I had no control.
Right. And you don't have control.
You're getting random.
What I mean is like there are items that are bad that you don't want.
But I don't you don't know that until you've touched them.
Yes. In many cases, stuff like that. Right.
Played Risk of Rain, too, which has just come out in early access.
I don't get it.
I don't get risk of rain.
Everyone fucking loves risk of rain.
And I don't get it.
It feels like the most generic shooter ever
with the blandest levels and good music.
But I just don't get what the appeal is.
The art style is.
Well, have you have you seen Risk of Rain, too?
What it looks like?
Let me look it up, because I've definitely downloaded it
and picked it up on people's recommendations, but I haven't gotten into it.
OK, it looks like I think slow beef recommended it.
A very old PS one game with like the flat thing.
And I dig that.
But it's just like lots of enemies flood in and you shoot them
and you get power ups and then you get to a new stage.
And difficulty is. No, I've never played this.
It's difficulty over time.
Like every second that you're there, the game gets slightly harder.
And it's I just don't.
Understand. And it's a roguelike as well.
Yeah, I don't understand what the big appeal is.
Like it doesn't have.
Is it is it not simply the like slow crawl towards better locked,
better guaranteed like loadout?
Yeah, no, I played it and I got to the point where I was just a fucking ridiculous.
Oh, Risk of Rain one was that was that 2D one. Yeah. Yes.
OK, yeah, OK, I definitely got the first one.
And I think I only booted it once or two or so.
And I'm looking at the second one.
I'm like, I've never touched a second one.
I didn't I didn't know that was 3D. OK, right. Yeah, got it.
I love. So by the way, I took a peek at chat and people are so mad
and they're telling me how wrong I am.
And like, I'm wrong about saying I don't understand why people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you got so defensive over there.
Hey, you bounced off of it.
Oh, my God. I don't.
But yeah, I just don't get it.
Like there's parts about it that are cool,
but I the general gameplay just really doesn't do it for me.
And it seems very plain.
And I don't understand it all.
And then I hopped into dead cells,
which I actually bounced off of initially.
Oh, I played the early access version and enjoyed it.
And then I was like, but I'll save my time for the full release.
Right, which was years ago.
Yeah. And then I played the full release
and it didn't it didn't get me for whatever reason.
And then I played it very recently after two or three big fucking updates.
And I love it.
And I couldn't figure out what the fucking difference was
because I remember very strongly bouncing off of it.
And then now I'm like, I can tell you why I go back to it.
It comes down to the fact that it feels amazing.
So that's the thing.
And your and your items are on a great cooldown.
So that's the thing.
Back when I bounced off of it, I didn't feel that it felt amazing.
I didn't like the feel of almost any of the weapons.
And then sure enough, digging through patch notes, trying to figure out why
they did a full animation pass on and sound pass and like feel pass
on every single weapon in the game like a couple of months ago.
And sure enough, that made all the difference in the world to me.
Yeah. But on top of that, remember those doors, those timed doors?
Yeah.
Those 45 seconds ago. Shit.
Do you did in the original?
You didn't sprint fast enough.
Yeah. And the times on them were were different.
The times on them were run past everything directly to the exit.
And they were not consistent.
Like, you know, yeah, there was no time to fight or grab.
And now they changed it so that on the first level, it's two minutes.
Did you did you beat the first level within two minutes?
Here you go.
And it gives you a shit ton of cells and it gives you a bunch of upgrades,
which you need because you just ran past everything. Yes. Yes.
And there's also a second door very similar.
That's did you kill 30 enemies without getting hit? Right.
And changing that from a randomized goal to a concrete goal.
Yeah. Makes me go, OK, I can try.
I can aim for that.
Well, I remember back in the old requirements,
I made it a couple of times, right, just to make sure.
Yeah. And I got the reward and I went, that's not worth it.
Yeah. It's not worth scouring.
It wasn't worth the script, the sprint past what might have been great shit
and ignoring everything to just get this.
And then I was kind of fascinating to me.
You play a game like that and just like a little tweak here,
a little change there makes all the difference in the world. Right.
Went back and finally beat the fucking pilots past in Gunjan.
There's the Farewell to Arms update.
That update is amazing.
It's not it's not bombastic.
Like they added more shit.
They added a rainbow mode, which is hard as fuck.
You have familiar with Gunjan familiar enough
that I've beaten a couple of levels.
So have you gotten a have you gotten a rainbow chest ever?
No, I didn't get in far enough to get any like major progress.
I just did a couple of rainbow chest is the highest level of chess.
It's all it's always got like an S tier item in it. Right.
And a rainbow run is straight up.
OK, you have one chest per stage period.
That's it. One item pick up per stage.
But every single one is from a rainbow chest.
And it's super hard.
OK, actually.
The the the goofiest thing about the new update is that the character
that everyone wants to play as has the most absurd on lock condition.
It is go through the game, find a weird paradox portal, touch it, right?
Then you'll be blue ish, beat the game.
OK, you've now unlocked the character paradox,
which is the totally randomized character, right?
It's the OK.
Now beat the game with paradox and go kill the super secret final boss.
When you do that, the game will glitch out and restart you as the new character,
the gunslinger that you want to unlock.
Now beat the game again as the gunslinger as the gunslinger if you die,
you don't get and fuck you if you die.
Yeah, OK, like, wow, man, no pressure.
That game's fantastic.
And after playing all of, you know, playing this big swath of them,
I came away from the conclusion of like, man, Isaac is amazing
because it has all the shit in it, but it feels like crap.
Yes, compared to it feels like fucking crap.
Isaac, like, that's one thing where you got to you got to throw it down there
and go like sometimes the mechanics around what a game is doing are way
like it keeps the game going way more than what the game actually feels like.
Yeah, right.
Like to me, dead cells is a case of like less content, best feel.
Yeah. And Isaac is maximum content.
Maximum. It's no one's ever going to come close.
Worst feel, right?
By the way, they're doing another Isaac. Sure.
Again, even more shit. Sure.
But like you can feel that it was a flash game.
Yeah.
Something that feels like dead cells, but has Isaac levels of content.
Yeah, would be that's where you're spending the rest of.
And so now we have come full circle and I'm really glad that you took
that particular like avenue in as I go to the epic store and I try out Hades.
Super fucking giant.
So things to note about Hades, early access means it.
Yeah. Not in terms of polish or bugs or whatever.
Yeah. This game is not done.
There are two of four planned zones.
There are five of six, probably more planned weapons there.
And my zones, you mean like tilesets, basically?
Yeah, you know, you only there's only half.
The there's literally only half the game in right now, right?
The feel and presentation of Hades is a plus plus.
It has never been less like dead cells.
Go fuck yourself.
I mean, that's a bit much.
It's a very good play.
It. Yeah, I know.
It feels like a better bashing transistor baby.
Super giant doesn't fail, right?
They just don't fail.
The art is so colorful and so amazing.
And the only play transistor, right?
Yeah, I did. OK, I didn't beat it, but I played it.
I'm going to go back to it.
It's one of my favorite video games of all time.
Yeah, I know. OK, I don't know where it is right now,
but the transistor lady is around here somewhere.
Just so you know, that's how good these people are, right?
But as of right now, as an action game,
transgender Hades is great as a rogue like it is fairly lacking
because there just aren't enough different things that can happen
because the way that the roguelike actually works in Hades
is very, very different from all the games that I've just described.
You pick a weapon in Hades, they're currently five.
You have a regular attack and a special attack
and you have a cast, which is essentially a spell,
but the cast is always the same, right? That's it.
And then when you start up a level,
you'll get like a boon and a boon is from like one of the Greek gods.
And it's like, oh, Artemis showed up and now your regular attack
has a chance to crit or Aries showed up and now your special attack
has a chance to or it will apply a big big hit after an enemy's gotten hit
or Poseidon showed up and now your moves have pushed back, right?
And those boons only apply to one of your moves.
So you'll get like, oh, my regular attack pushes back
as Poseidon and then my cast chain lightnings because of Zeus.
Yada, yada, right? There's currently seven of those, right?
But you're never, ever, ever, ever going to get more than one of those on an attack.
So once your attack is like the Aries one, where has the dot on it?
That's your attack now.
And maybe you can upgrade it with a hammer so that it does a different thing.
But that's it. OK.
So like there are essentially like 35 different regular punches
depend between all the weapons and all the poons and stuff like that.
And then you go through different rooms and the rooms are
this room is like super tough, but all you have to do is survive or, you know,
what have you. And there just aren't enough.
Variety in things that can happen.
All right. So people are saying you're wrong about something.
OK. What am I? Time to figure out what?
But go on. What am I wrong? We'll figure out.
I don't know. Chat go on.
There just isn't enough like randomness
and also you can just it's a rogue light in that your character gets permanent
upgrades, like they get increases to damage, they get increases to health.
You can start a run with more money, stuff like that.
And you'll pick what you do is you pick rooms.
You go, oh, I want the room of the currency or I want the room of the key
or I want the room with the boon, right?
But there's a point where you'll have unlocked everything.
And so then the rooms that have currency, like for character upgrades,
become like why bother, right?
But like I said, it is still very early and the feel is the best.
Yeah, just the best.
What do you think about just in terms of like modifiers
to things like crit chance and whatnot?
Did you see Plague's tweet from like one or two days ago?
Was it about division?
No, it was if a game gives you the options of choosing between critical
chance, raw damage, et cetera.
Those aren't choices.
They're just numbers.
One's bigger, one's right, one's wrong.
It's not an option.
It's a spreadsheet Excel puzzle.
That's why I hate math driven design.
Cut that shit out.
What do you think about that?
Like the raw damage versus crit chance, like in terms of like a particular
type of build, I feel like in some cases, it's actually a lot of fun.
Like stacking for crit can give you goofy results.
But most of the time, no one gives a shit.
Just tell me the DPS, right?
I feel like when I think about it, I'm like, I kind of go, yeah, like if
you're, I almost, if you're giving me the choice between making the number
bigger versus making the crit chance bigger, I feel like I'm always going
to be like, let's go with the number as opposed to the crit chance.
Because even if the crit chance is higher, like how much, there's a certain
number of point where it would have to be like X percentage and X damage
multiplier makes it worth it, you know, but there's clearly a winner.
There's the worst mathematically, the worst between the two choices version of
this is a concept called stat weights.
And it's a bunch of games, but I'm familiar with it in 14.
Okay.
In your attack stats on your gear, you have a piece that you have a sword,
right?
The sword can have one, it has four of the following stats, right?
It will have your primary damage stats.
So for a warrior, it'd be strength.
You can also have a bit skill speed, which is the speed at which your
button presses register determination, which is, uh, defense and attack values
and the amount that you're healed by tenacity direct hit, which is like a
small crit crit, right?
These stats will be arranged, there will be four of them.
One is guaranteed, which is the direct damage that will be strength, right?
Then there'll be a second stat, which is maxed out and can be capped.
Then there'll be two stats, which are not capped and you can add in with materia.
And I'm weapon comes out and it's the same weapon damage, but it has a whole
slew of different stats and people look at it and go, which of these is better?
I don't know.
So people run exhaustive tons and tons and tons and tons of tests and they
just, they discern that one point of crit for warrior over this threshold is
worth point eight, seven points of strength, which is higher than point six
points of the, and let me get, but the end result is the sword is solved.
And then there is an optimal way to do this.
It becomes what is the BIS?
What is the best in slot?
And then it becomes what is the best in slot?
Assuming you hit your skill speed cap and it is the worst thing in the world.
It is so awful.
It's an easy way to take fun away from things, especially if you're looking at
like variety as something that is there for the sake of like, how much you want
to enjoy playing the game in a certain style or a certain way.
And it reminds me, and it takes me back to the whole like woolly's toothpick
thing, if you remember that, where I'm like, I just want to use this weapon.
And on top of that, and I'm not supposed to, because it's wrong.
And on top of that, what the fuck?
I can tell you the worst time is that feeling.
What am I supposed to do with that?
I can do you one worse.
So in Final Fantasy 14 and the Heavensward expansion, the final Dark Knight
sword you could unlock in the game was terrible.
The so the way that the outside of all that, there's the weapon damage
number, which is the most important one because that's, you know, just the raw
damage, right? The highest tier raid sword.
Well, one of the stats it had, one of the secondary stats it had on it was
Perry. Yeah. And Perry's stat weight is garbage.
So it's like it wasn't there at all.
So even though the weapon damage on it was way higher.
And the game was telling you that this sword is way stronger.
It was actually functionally weaker than a much, much more easily acquired
sword. Oh, OK, OK.
And people who play dart and I were like, this sucks, I'm going to bust
my fucking ass and beat this raid to get a sword that looks really cool.
Yeah. But isn't even the best.
Like what the fuck is the point of that?
At the same time, it's like if you're going to adhere to that mentality
the entire way through everything you play, then you'd go into every fighting
game, picking who is only the top tier character at per balance.
And people do that.
Yeah. And ride out the wave and switch every time the game.
And that kind of sucks.
I feel like that I mean, for some people, they enjoy that.
Personally, I don't.
That's why I pick a random that I like the the aesthetic of or whatever
and stick with them.
And sometimes it turns out to be garbage, right?
But it's the same reason why I'm you know, when I play like Jojo's
right, seven stand user, I'm like, yeah, I want to enjoy my ride here
by feeling good about my pick and thinking that I'm it's whatever.
Yeah. Cosmetic purposes are the problem is in games.
The more the number becomes important, the less that
right, right.
The more people can tell you that like, well, you're going to hit a point
where that becomes a mistake.
Oh, I don't even mean that.
I just mean like in in 14, for example, like the difference,
but the different weapons aren't going to feel different.
They're just going to perform better or worse.
So why not pick the like, for example, hey, I'm I'm playing my dark night.
OK, you have your materia slots, right?
The materia slots add stats.
What stats do I add?
Somebody figured out the stat weight and discovered that your dark night
you want to add a crit crits the best one.
Critter gave you the best thing.
If you're a white mage, you want to add to terminate like whatever, right?
And it's just like, what is the point of adding a system
in where you can pick your stats if you've made a numerical system
in which there is the best right stat?
And here's the question.
When you pick the right stat, are you crushing the game?
Or are you or are you are you percentile points?
OK, because that's what I'm like.
Is the difference between dominating the intended difficulty
and or just writing it out normally.
But and here's and here's the thing with a game like that.
When you have an eight man team, right?
If you're if everyone is kitted out perfectly
and you're doing 10 percent more damage, that's 10 percent less time in the fight,
which is 10 percent less time to fuck it up.
Which increases success rate by more than 10 percent.
You know, it's fun doing Max acts
because those are crits that are skill controlled.
Yes, skill controlled crits are the best.
Makes a fun like a headshot, but with timing.
Hell, yeah, it's so great.
Back to Hades, by the way, I actually got an answer about why I was wrong.
And the reason why I was wrong is because I wasn't finished talking about Hades.
The other thing about Hades that's really like wild is the amount of story content.
It is a wash.
It's like it's it's like a roguelike.
That's like a real video game instead of a roguelike.
Oh, OK. And that there is a story and there's a plot.
OK. And there are plot beats. Yeah.
And there would be it would be very weird for them
for Supergiant to make a game that didn't contain lots of great writing.
Yeah. And there are just.
Like there are there are S-Links.
OK. In Hades, every single character that you talk to
has a fucking S-Link bar and it's like talk to Achilles 15 more times.
And he'll tell you some bullshit, right?
In addition to that, when you make real good pals with your Hades buddies,
like say, hey, Achilles, you're cool.
Here's some ambrosia, bro.
He'll give you his Mermidon bracers.
You're like, oh, cool.
And you go to the start of your run, pick that and go,
I want to pick the Mermidon bracers because it gives me extra defense from the front
and no defense from the back.
But they're like, OK, that's a pretty weak bonus.
I think it's like starts at like 20.
Was it 15 and 10 percent?
But then after 25 encounters, which is rooms, you'll level it up.
And then after 50 after that, you'll level it up.
And there's like a ton of those.
There's like fucking 20, at least that I can see.
And all I can think of when I play Hades is like, this game is so good.
I would very much want them to go much faster to build the game.
And, you know, I don't know, like maybe the boons can interact.
Maybe I was wrong about that, but I have not encountered that personally.
Oh, you got to close that door, Wolves.
I'm wondering, I'm curious if this is something they wanted to be a full release
that they kind of ended up taking too long on.
So they decided to start cracking it out now.
And from the way that the game has been being built,
I actually don't think that's the case at all because you'll look at the patch notes
and then the patch notes will say this is a community suggestion,
which is something that I think dead cells pioneered.
Or in the patch notes is like any change
that was something that one of you guys came up with.
You put it, you put that little note next to it.
OK. And also, I think the best thing about the game
in early access is that is the only one that I can think of
on the main menu, it'll say Hades and it'll say the name of the update.
Right now, it's Murder, Death, Kill is the Thanatos patch.
And then there's the big character art in the background.
But fuck that. In the bottom right corner,
it says there are 28 days remaining until the next major update.
OK, so they wanted a and I believe it is a 30 to 60 days depending.
They wanted a live audience to bounce off of, right?
Yeah, OK. And they are clearly bouncing off of them.
OK. It's so good.
Like, you know, I would not recommend like, like get it like even getting super deep
because you can totally crush it and beat everything that's in it right now.
And then you're stuck in the process of like, well, OK,
the new patch came out and you blow through it.
But like just the feel of that game is fucking incredible.
It's awesome. Well, I mean, it's a super giant game
that has like this massive replay value on the back end that will be there
when it's final launch happens.
And it's a really exciting idea.
So whenever I play one of these, I always like play it for a while.
And then I go and dig through the patch notes and go, OK, what was added?
Right. And what are they planning to add?
And this game's been out since I want to say December, right?
So like four or five months tops.
They've added a lot and they're like, yeah,
we're planning to have this in early access until like mid 2020.
Well, here's a question, though.
When patches come out and they're live updated,
do the changes get reflected in your ongoing save?
Yeah. OK.
Because twice now, I've had this happen to me
where I've been playing a ton of dead cells with loads of updates
that I never saw until I did that stream
because I had rolled with my save. Yeah.
And there was no, there was one point where they went,
hey, we're out of early access, you can keep your old save,
but you might as well start over because you're going to miss out on all this cool shit.
And Darkest Dungeon, where like a bunch of DLC
and just all kinds of rolling updates happened
after I'd spent so much time on my original file
that I never restarted and I ended up missing the way Hades works.
That would be disastrous because, like I said,
there's like story arcs and character relationships.
Yeah, like that would be the worst.
I don't like so I'm not I'm not too happy
and keen on the idea of falling in love with the game
and dropping tons of time into it, only to have to lose that.
Well, you didn't drop enough time into it
that you didn't exhaust every single thing in the game, blah, blah, blah, like.
What kind of, you know, like with Darkest Dungeon,
it's like, well, you should have beaten that game
within a month of it coming out. Right.
And then the update was just another reason to go back in like that.
But also, it's like it's hard to it's hard to fault
like companies for like creating more stuff and more value.
Yeah, I just hope I just hope that the safe doesn't need a restart.
I hope that you can make it alive.
Well, when Hades, I can't possibly see that happening.
Like the way that that game works, that would be disastrous.
I can see when it comes out of early access, then like being like start over
maybe not explicitly, maybe not like, you know, forcing you
but probably telling you like you should probably start over
because we we'd like tuned up that beginning part or, you know, whatever.
Probably one of the best first impressions that Hades gives you
is that when you hit start, you're in a run off the main title screen.
You're just in a run.
It's like, OK, you you barely get a tutorial.
That sounds amazing.
The real tutorial.
That sounds the real tutorial is your second run. Yeah.
But the first one is like, OK, just fucking do it. I love that.
And guess what? You don't get very far.
You get fucking blown up. It's great. Yeah, it's real good.
So I played all those games that felt good.
It sounds like you had a week of roguelikes.
I did. I did.
And then I ended up like passing out on the the last one.
So I'm doing Gunjan and Hades on Thursday.
But in addition to that.
Wait.
Gunjan.
Hmm. Did you play Nuclear Throne at all?
I did. I don't like it. OK.
I like what it is.
I don't like it. OK.
It's very it's very formative, though.
You can tell like that was one of the first ones to drop.
And it's really cool. I don't like it.
Just right.
I played a risk of rain one as well and ran into an issue
in which my character appeared to be five pixels tall.
And what I literally could not play the game
because the character was so small.
And I don't know what the fuck is up with that.
So I played all those games, all those good feeling games, and I went.
I need some jank.
I need some crap.
I need some. No, not crap.
I need something cool that feels bad.
So I went and beat Metro 2033.
The old one.
No, the Redux, the re-release.
The re-release. OK.
And I'm about halfway through last light.
And the Metro 2033.
Did you feel like a real comrade?
I felt a little bit like comrade, but.
You know, it's really crazy.
The fucking the characters to go up on the outside world
in that series, in that fiction are called stalkers.
Sure. Of course they are. Sure.
But. Get out of here, stalker.
But those cut scenes of like just like you drinking with all your buddies
and then like having these moment to moment things
where you're just a silent floating guy.
Yeah, everyone's like, yes, bro, you have a fucking best comment
of the show to me.
It's so much like 2033 is a weird game because
remember it came out right alongside when all first person shooters
were like really linear and Metro 2033 gets to dodge a bunch of that bad feel
because you're in fucking Metro tunnels.
Right. Of course it's fucking linear.
But and them adding like as the the Redux added all the gameplay features
from the later game from last night and a lot of those help,
particularly the new stealth stuff.
But there are some levels in that game that are fucking bad, man.
There's a stealth level where you have to go underneath a bridge.
Just awful.
And the final boss is like a dream sequence with platforming.
Very not good at all.
That came in for test early on.
And I touched the original version just to do an evaluation so it wasn't a full.
I didn't spend a full like on it.
But I remember being impressed by the textures at the time.
Yeah, especially considering the nature of the.
I will also watch like a video series on like the development of the Metro series.
Forget who made it.
But in which like development game development in Ukraine is tough.
Would you believe it?
Like the discussions about THQ having to smuggle in desktop computers
so that border security didn't steal them.
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How the there is not consistent power because the local coal plant that's
applied power would occasionally break stuff like that.
So it's amazing what they did there.
Um, but yeah, some of those levels are really bad.
But more than anything, the feel of being in the Metro is overwhelming.
Like it is the best has the best ambiance of like any shooter that I can think of.
And then you play last light and it's like, OK, way more work went into
making this play like a real video game, like areas are wider, stuff like that.
They're great.
Those games are great.
But you can't.
You just can't get rid of that film.
Jank crime of Jank crime.
Oh, yeah.
That informs the taste.
And I feel like it's actually fairly important spread over it like Marmite.
I feel like video games more than any other
form of media, you can taste the region they're made in.
In a lot of cases.
You can really, really smell it in like film, right?
And especially in like short film where they don't have time to fuck around.
Yeah. An establishing shot, a certain type of music.
And then like the way people in the shot are dressed will slap you in the face.
Right. But I always feel like that is that is preceded by the language
or the accents on display. Yeah. Right.
Yeah. Whereas games will be dubbed to a decent degree. Right.
Yeah. And you'll be like, is this game from fucking Brazil?
This games from Brazil. Right. Or, you know.
But like, but like the feel of something being janky is like,
I don't know how localized that is, because there's definitely a feeling of something
where you can go like, this is a student made this. Yeah. Right.
And then there's like a team made this.
Slash is in the middle of making this. Yeah.
And they're not done yet.
And when they're done, they're probably not going to fix the part
where when you jump, the animation just kind of snaps into the jump animation
and then lands and then snaps back to stand.
But there's there's a there's a there's a above layer of that.
And it is, I don't know what I call it, jank or grime or whatever.
But Metro is a really good example where it's like your your flashlight
in Metro is a piece of shit. It sucks.
And it has a battery that runs down that you have to switch to an item
in your inventory to hand crank the battery back up so that you have a decent light.
And it's not that that mechanic feels bad.
It actually feels very responsive and like, oh, yeah, I'm cranking this battery.
Right. It's more the feel of like, who would make a mechanic like this?
Why would anyone make a mechanic like that?
Oh, Eastern Europeans make mechanics like this.
Japanese games make mechanics like Max acting, right?
And so on and so forth.
Right. It's just these these these pieces of flavor that are very regional.
Right. Like, although think of all those RPGs,
the difference between those two is so like nuclear, because like, like,
use your skill to to like feel better than normal.
Yeah. Versus to get a high versus using your skill to not die.
Yeah. You know, it's the Kokai to like rock on and party and wow.
Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Versus I need it. I need it to get by if I don't get it right now.
I'm going to crash. I'm going to crash. Oh, God. Oh, God.
Get me that next hit. Right.
Like, like Metro, like the moments of victory in Metro are like, oh, my God,
dude, I found like two filters and some military grade bullets, which is money.
Oh, yeah. Now I'm good for now.
I'm not going to suffocate for a few bits, right?
It's this interesting thing where when you look at like everything like Germany
and East, it's like, that's where all those RPGs come from that are like,
yeah, you need to eat and drink or you'll shit your pants and die.
Right.
And it's like, what is why?
What?
So I'm playing through those to essentially remind myself for Exodus
because now I bought a game on the Epic Store.
I might as well just buy the bullet and play Exodus.
So you go in trilogy on this? Yeah.
OK. The Metro 2033 and last night are real short.
Oh, are they? They are real fucking short.
I blew through 2033 on Sunday.
They always struck me as 12 to 15 hour games.
Metro 2033 is more like nine.
OK. And last night, I want to say it's like 12 and beat last light, though.
I got about halfway through.
Those games are great.
The only thing I really don't like about those games
is the ending contingent conditions.
So there's two endings, right?
You get a good ending, you get a bad ending, right?
And the way that you get them is by accruing morality points.
Did you do something moral?
Good job, Artium.
You're a better guy.
So these include things like, did you give a bullet to the beggar?
Right? Did you help the kid find his teddy bear?
That usual shit, right?
But it also includes when you're sneaking around the level.
Did you watch this soldier get his ass beat by his fellow soldiers?
Morality point.
Did you look at this at this theater show?
Morality point.
Did you listen to these two women arguing about their boyfriends?
Morality point.
And I'm like, hmm, what is that?
What? Yeah.
What is the fucking?
Mixture here.
And I think the what they're called someone sick, a blat.
I don't.
I think what the the what they're going for is that it's or did you strum
a guitar? Morality point.
You found Interactable in it.
And I feel like originally it was like, yes, you do a good thing.
Yeah, you and then it became we need to give people a reason to stop
and stare at the enormous amount of background and PC shit that's going on.
Like in last light, there's this little market district and there are like five
things happening.
There's two guys arguing about the recent tunnel.
There's an old man giving a puppet show.
There's a dude juggling.
There's two girls arguing about their boyfriend.
There's a soldier telling a grieving widow.
There's two kids running away to go see.
And like every single one of those interactions, if you watch the whole
thing, Archie, you good man, right?
And it's like, OK, that's what it's for.
The problem is, is that like the good and bad ending, one is canon, one is not.
Yeah.
In Metro 2033, the bad ending is canon, right?
Because it's the one that follows the book.
In last light, the good ending is canon and leads to Exodus.
So it's like, yeah, that's I think the funnest way to handle that is what
Yoko Taro did.
I think that's probably the best way to just go about it.
Let's go.
They're all canon in a bullshit, wacky way.
It's all canon.
We just go to different places as a result.
Their butts are huge.
Depends on how much story you got inside you, though.
OK.
And last but not least, I want to talk about the problem, the one big, big, big
problem with Metro's narrative, which is fairly good.
And it's the main character, Arthiom.
Arthiom, he's a likable enough sort.
Problem is, he only talks in the loading screens.
He is.
Yeah, he's the best dude ever.
Everyone's hanging out.
He's flat out mute in the other in all, all other scenarios.
Oh, yeah.
Which leads to very contrived conversations to get around the fact
that your character can speak, but chooses not to ever.
The silent protagonist was probably not intended to come into the realm of voice acting.
It's so bizarre.
Mashing like a button prompt as you're going through a text conversation
through ellipses is much more you can you can ignore it and get past it.
But then a world that's talking and alive and everyone's having
vibrant conversations and you're awkwardly floating through it is so weird.
So the best example is about two thirds through 2033.
The whole mission of the game is you got to get to the police station
to warn those guys to help out your home station because your home station's in trouble.
You get all the way to polis, right?
You go talk to the guy at the front of polis and you got your buddy there.
You he helped you.
You got there, right?
And the guy looks, he goes, OK, who are you?
Where are you from?
Why are you here?
And your buddy says, this is our job.
He is here from exhibition.
He has to help fight the dark ones.
And the guy goes, what?
He can't answer for himself.
And he goes, listen, our job is very tired.
Let's just go in the thing.
And it's like, just just make him say anything.
Our job has a voice actor.
He talks in every loading screen.
It's so weird, you know, Rikami in in in Exodus,
like same thing in Exodus.
Apparently the problem continues and like you're talking to your wife
and she's like really emoting at you.
And Artyom has the ability to like pat her on the shoulder or not.
It's like, why can't Artyom talk in Russian?
He swears once in a cut scene.
Like there's a there's a crash and he goes, frack.
And he sounds like like a 48 year old man.
But it's so weird.
So like this is something that certain games like are definitely
using as we go forward, as like devices, you know.
But for the most part, yeah, it's a hold over from video games
where you're just like you're playing you or you're playing a whatever.
You're a PC, you're a player character.
You're floating through this world.
And the point is that it's supposed to be you.
Therefore, yeah, we don't want you to have to commit to someone else's
thoughts, decisions and lines, but the other the other gets weird.
It does get weird.
And I mean, it's it's not that you have to go one way or the other.
But if you choose to make it silent, find a way or a device or something to
like it would be fine if the voting screens were not voice acted.
That's the part that throws you where he's now because Artyom has a voice
and he does talk. Right. Right.
Right. Yeah.
The other thing is like, hey, who does a good Russian accent in video games?
You're a low on fall, of course, as you'd expect.
Steve Loom does a decent one.
And I forget the guy's voice actor.
I really should look it up a pop in here. OK. OK.
So Jiro. Yeah. Oh, man.
Almost every single person is all three of them is one of those.
Like almost it's wild.
And the other thing I like.
So what we're so the dub in 2033 is quite bad.
The dub in last light is quite good despite having all the same voice actors.
Don't know what happened. Right.
And people, there's all, you know, you go to the threads and you're like,
everybody's arguing like, do you play it in Russian or do you play it in English?
Right. Russian, no subtitles.
Russian, no subtitles. Fine.
But do you play it in Russian and subtitles?
And here's the rub.
The Russian does sound better for most of the story stuff. But remember that?
Remember that puppet show I told you about the dude's doing for the kids?
Ambient dialogue is not subtitled. Of course not.
So what? I'm those are minutes long.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
What like, like I appreciate playing the game in its native language
because I get it, right?
But if ambient dialogue is not fucking subtitled,
I'm going to play it in English no matter how fucking bad the dub is
because I want to know what the fuck people are actually arguing about.
And they're not getting translators.
No plan means kakku. No, you're not up top.
Yeah, that kind of sucks.
Yeah. And I can understand why.
Because if you're walking through an area, there are like five, six,
seven conversations happening within one 10 feet of your character.
And it's choosing to grab one of them.
Yeah. What does it only pop in when your vision cone hits them?
Yeah, that's always a weird one where like sometimes
like you are having a worse experience in a game where let's say
you're playing a stealth game, Metal Gear, for example, Metal Gear, yeah,
where you are clearly not within earshot of two guards.
Yeah. But you're sneaking far enough away
and then their subtitle pops up. Yeah.
But you can't hear shit and you're just reading about a conversation that you
can't hear, you know, guards are there and you can't see them.
That is a weird game thing that.
But yeah, yeah, you're having a diminished experience.
I have I've been running into that all the time lately with games
where it's like subtitles start showing up.
And the weirdest one by far is when you get a situation in which it's
like a dream sequence or like a garbled radio, right?
And the subtitles are the script
like they're the script that they were read,
which includes lines of dialogue that are unhearable.
Oh, oh, they can't hear.
They didn't cut them out because you know, you hear like.
Meet point. No, no, no, I don't mean that.
I mean, like, hey, instead of meet me at the thing,
it'll be meet me at the garble, garble, garble, garble thing.
But then the fucking text will tell you what it was originally or
or that one part of the sound will be really low.
That's that that's bad subtitling.
Yeah, it really is.
I run into that all the time.
I'm like, but and like sometimes I'm like, oh, now I know what the now
and I know what the information in one case in a recent game.
That was a spoiler.
Like I got too much information from it.
It's it's it's so interesting.
Subtitling is its own art form.
It is completely an art form.
The timing of of when you break the lines, how to display them,
how much information to to go on like you can't because if you think
you should just show off what is being said as it's being said, it's not enough.
So you have to choose sentence by sentence.
But sometimes one sentence is still it's still too quick.
You know, the pacing of how you choose to display information is massive.
Was it near automata that did this that had
subtitling alongside the dialogue?
Yes.
That is a big deal because while parts of Metro's
subtitling are very good in that the they they choose an orange font for it.
And it's it pops like it is very visible in all of the game situations
because the game goes from total darkness to very bright.
So and they needed to consistent.
The color is great.
The the type set is great.
Entire paragraph on the screen as soon as somebody starts talking.
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Right. The thing with the sauce.
So near though, chooses when it's voice acting moments are going to do that.
Yeah. Because not because some conversations are just
voice like paragraph, paragraph, paragraph when there is no voice acting.
But when it does happen, it's matching.
I feel like more than that and more than ever,
particularly with everything being voice acted, like it has become so important
that you have somebody on the crew that their job is to subtitle the game.
That that that is what they're the the because it is.
Yeah, it's not always.
Think about fansubs and how much not always.
How much work goes into the fansubber who does the sub timing?
OK, just the timing.
So back in the days when during those QA trenches,
there would be a department for localization where you're translating
into different languages and they would have to go script to script to what not.
And in some cases, like
depending on how much the budget or whatever the game had,
sometimes the localizers would be actually changing the raw strings in the game itself.
And like depending on how much the font size had like allow an allotment for,
you know, a certain amount of paragraph or whatever, it would like, yeah,
you'd you'd play playing it in a certain language,
you'd have a worse or better experience than you would in other languages,
which fucking sucks.
All that is totally fascinating.
But like having, yeah, if you having somebody dedicated to that on a team
is a luxury that not every game can afford.
But when you do have it, it makes a huge difference.
It like I remember like playing near and just being like blown away like this
is making the big because I play every game with subtitles.
I'm not going to miss dialogue.
Yeah. And if I don't have subtitles on, yeah, I'm going to miss dialogue.
Yeah. Right.
But bad subtitling can.
So the the actual worst I'm going to call it out.
If you do this, I hate you.
The worst subtitling slash dialogue thing ever
is to have a character subtitle and with a dash halfway through
denoting that they will be cut off in the middle of their conversation.
Fifteen seconds before they get cut off.
Yeah, that is the worst.
It sucks. It does.
I fucking hate it. Yeah.
Shit, what was I going to say?
I had a really good.
There was a similar thing.
Or or or like dot, dot, dot.
What was that, you know?
Or like, oh, my God.
Sometimes there are other type of exclamation of some kind
that just gives it away in the line.
Yes, that's what I just remembered now.
So for that exact purpose, sometimes when you go back,
if you ever watch a dub after you've already seen an original anime,
you'll notice sometimes that things and time seem to move slower, right?
And it's because the time that you would originally spend
reading a subtitle and paying attention to the action
at the same time is now spent exclusively on the action.
So you'll see it like a moment in Jojo where it's just a bunch of mouth flaps
moving as the as the layers of two characters kind of slide against each other.
And you're like, oh, everything feels way too slow and shitty right now.
Oh, this is its actual real pacing.
This is bad because I'm used to the like part of my brain being dedicated to text.
And therefore, like, it can be a little bit worse
when you're just when you're when you're doing both at the same time, you know?
So that's another problem as well, where I have I want to have subtitles on
because I don't want things to feel kind of shittier and slower sometimes.
And that's a weird one, but it's real.
I want to give a big thumbs up.
Now, very few games do this.
Very, very few games do this, but Division Two does it.
And hey, do you want to put like a transparent
like drop shadow underlay under the white subtitles for clarity?
Fucking sick.
That's awesome.
Like, you know, you like you put like a like a transparent
dark rectangle underneath what white subtitles.
Yes. So they show up on crisp every possible surface.
Yeah. Fucking great. Yeah. That's awesome.
I also I'm not super used to this
because I don't play real MMOs, right?
But whenever I see an MMO screen
and I see the fucking chat log of everyone's colors going off on the side.
Yeah. And I'm just like, who's actually reading that and going?
Like it just sometimes seems like a complete fucking mess.
Well, when when you see multiple colors like that, that's people's general chat.
Usually, I guess they actually want to focus.
They'll switch to a tab that's all green and that's your link show.
All red. That's the chow. It's all whatever. OK.
And that's them just like, I don't know.
It just they're not reading it either to close the fucking way.
Like, why is that even there?
Like, you know, it just seems like such a like when I was 14,
I have that my chat log to me. Just people in my free company.
That's all it is. It's just like my buddies talking.
I don't have shout chat on. I have general chat on, you know,
like any of those fuck sure. Sure.
You want insanity?
The people who pull the fucking combat logs up on anything are fucking crazy.
Those things move so fast.
Oh, like the kill feed kind of.
Yeah. What? Yeah.
The kill feed, but it's every hit of damage and every point of healing.
What are you looking at? What are you reading?
So where can people tune in for more?
What's that? Working people tune in for more.
They can go down to twitch.tv slash angry's pet.
And I'll be streaming tomorrow night.
I'll be streaming at 8 p.m.
I stream almost always a p.m.
I'll use some Yakuza Kwame. You got to catch up with that.
Then the night after that will be Gunjan and Hades.
And then on Friday will be more vampire.
The bloodline masquerade, which I'm not really talking about on the podcast.
I'll talk about it when I'm done.
Getting to experience that old shit.
That game's fucking old.
You know how old that game is out?
A U. L.
Do you know how old vampire the masquerade is?
You go to a computer to hack it.
And you're like, how do I get to the email?
Oh, type in email and hit enter. Right.
Yeah, you got a prompt.
And that's like, oh, which which date do you want?
Type in the whole date.
Yeah, type it like, oh, man.
So, yeah, I have a I didn't do much because I was occupied with the travel.
Don't worry, guys.
DMC spoiler cast me next week.
We promise we can hit it right now
because I did jump into that bloody palace for a second.
And yeah, they really did change up.
They changed up a couple of things.
And like, I can see where the quality of life is at the same time,
I see the annoyingness of the song and like how that whole thing is.
I feel those first 20 floors.
I feel like I feel what you're talking about with that now.
Because now that I've done it, I can see, like, you know what?
Matt music, battle music in Devil May Cry five matters more than it ever has.
Yeah. So.
And also, you're blowing through those early floors much faster.
Very, very, very quickly in four.
Yes, yes, yes.
So I yes, I can totally feel that complaint now.
The like the breaker selection floors,
if you're playing as Nero are like an odd one
because you're just kind of anticipating what's going to come.
The breaker selection floor is fascinating
because it's telling you this is the tier list of these arms.
Buster and ragtime are broken, so you get one.
Each. Right.
I mean, I'm just I'm like at this point, I'm like, OK,
if this is what you're showing me and if this is what I don't
and I don't know what's coming, then I'm busting and I'm tomboying.
Yeah, and that's that's my so the way that I understood it
is the reason why you can only get one buster arm
is because the arm breakage lets you delete one enemy.
Yeah, you just remove them as opposed to your regular now.
Yeah, exactly. So anyway, that is all fun.
I yeah, I guess I wanted to get into the spoiler cast bit,
but it's not so much a complete spoiler cast because there's so much to that game.
There's a lot. There's so much to it.
But there is one particular thing that I felt like I wanted to touch on.
And that's the part that's most interesting to me,
which is hilarious, because in a fucking Devil May Cry game,
like, why would you like why would the story matter at all?
But I think there's some meat to chew on here.
So I'm going to be spoiling Devil May Cry 5
if you're interested in not having that spoiled for you.
You want to tune out now.
So I upon saying that I beat the game,
got a message from my boy, SoulKarl, who basically went,
hey, dude, I'm sorry, but I'm about to upset you.
And I'm just going to say.
The better character than Virgil, don't don't don't attack me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
But it's true.
And I grabbed my keyboard and my brow
furrowed and my nostrils flared and I pulled up my fingers
and I started typing, you are correct.
Yeah, because V is a better character than Virgil.
He because he's a character.
He's not the reverse of Dante.
He is not. He's a different person.
And it's so interesting to me to have this giant chunk of personality
out of nowhere inserted into the story
and given more characterization through his scenes
than the prior games combined, right?
He's given more characterization
than the other two main characters.
And and quite frankly, like while we're on this,
you have to applaud the the script in this game.
I mean, the credits give credit like the credits roll on for
swearies in those fucking credits. Isn't that crazy?
Right. Like everyone's in those
because they outsource to everybody.
But for just the writing in the script alone,
that you can tell they've revised and revised and revised
and they really wanted to get it down.
And they got it down to the point where what few lines are given
to Lady and Kyrie do more for them than entire previous games
about their stories.
Lady gets the line about her dad.
That is and that's more than she got like that in the story
about her killing her dad.
Yeah, it's great.
Like and Kyrie on the phone with no game model.
Just no game model, right?
Gives you more than her being damseled in four.
Yeah, like it really gives you something to chew on.
And the absence of the rest of what they would have to say.
Yeah, you feel as if in that one line, you're like, I would.
I could sit and have you on us.
Like I could watch you sit on a bench or a stool
and just talk a bit about what happened after your game happened.
Yeah. And where you got to as a person.
Those lines are that that you know what I mean?
You're like, I completely agree. That's great, right?
So V comes along and gets spit out as this fucking
as we talked about this goth kid, this William Blake, Love and Nerd.
You know, you want to shove him in a locker and.
And and and all my mascara.
You know, and the whole time there's that there's these bits where you're
just like, OK, but what was his plan actually?
Right. And then I and I really had to sit and think about it.
And I feel as if you're like, was he was from was he kind of like
playing them from the get go?
Is his is his remorse sincere?
A lot of questions are up for grabs.
And I think what you're actually looking at is
it seems to be that he is legitimately
sorrowful, but he does not want to die.
Yeah. And the important part is that unlike a lot of other times
where you look at somebody that's like, look, look how many times
a story will do something where a character is
sorrowful for their past actions and thus they are nice suicidal
in their current actions.
And you can almost explain the nonchalance
badassery of someone who's just like foolhardy and running into danger.
Because when you get them at a vulnerable moment,
they tell you about how they did something horrible
and they quite frankly think they deserve death.
So them running into it and embracing it is just there.
We've seen that, right?
You very rarely see someone remorseful for what they've done,
but also desperately clinging to survive.
But right. But that power, though, man.
And the fact that like this is a game about these characters
brashly and foolhardy in their stylish style, beasting,
yeah, running into danger and literally laughing in its face.
Yeah. Whereas this dude is like, oh, fuck,
we can't handle that right now. I'm melting.
And even before that, the melting, he's caning his way away from
Gilgamesh as he's like, oh, my God, I don't want to die.
I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Right.
The fear of his mortality is so present the entire time.
And it's just as strong with him as the remorse he's feeling.
Yeah. Right.
He gets to the point where you have the actual conversation with Trish,
who's like, I'm not your mom, V, right?
You have that moment. Fuck off, etc.
And he and he'd be like, it was this fool before you, right?
And he's like, oh, like the answers are not going to be found here.
And maybe they lie within the heart of battle.
Who fucking knows, right?
Only you know yourself as a person and what you were before
and whether or not you think you're worthy of redemption.
Right. Now, we as an audience look at a character like that.
And usually when someone's presented in that way, oftentimes you're like,
well, the fact that they're questioning it makes me relate to them.
And it doesn't necessarily mean that they've earned it.
However, the sincerity and the spirit of like
forgiveness makes you think, you know what, a character like that
deserves redemption, right?
Uri Zen, on the other hand, is everything bad about Virgil in one thing?
And it's the irredeemable parts of him as a character split into its own, right?
And he has nothing of substance to say, because what the fuck are you?
You're a big monster.
I will show you. I am you're nothing.
You're just an endless grasp for power.
You're a human writer, villain.
And the fact that you literally grasp that power, crack that fruit
and pop your sin, DT, or not yet, whatever it is, but you know,
you you obtain ultimate power and it fails you and you're still lying.
They're going, it's like, yeah, yeah, you're nothing.
You're fucking nothing.
And that desire, right, is so powerful that it is in.
If you have to look at the like, if you have to look at the breadth of like
what makes up the as an interesting character and the different things going on
with them and then you just replace all of those folders with one that just says power.
That's how powerful the desire inside of Virgil was to just be.
I mean, it is it is like so V seeks power as a solution to his problems.
And that's his his human half, right?
Yours and desires power for its own sake.
And that is half of his entire personality.
And it looks like 75 percent power.
So it literally is erasing what personality was in Virgil.
You know, because it's just this fucking obsession.
Yeah. Right.
To call it unhealthy is the understatement of the century.
It is like you're a shell.
You're fucking nothing with your stupid desires, right?
So now you would go, OK, Virgil is actually just pretty insecure.
So you go, what will be even before that?
You go, so now while they're still the split, you're like,
what is these actual intention here?
And it's like it's to survive.
But an impossibly right his wrongs.
But more than anything, he's playing both sides, knowing that.
The good guys are probably going to win.
They're probably going to fix the problem.
I need to get there before they do.
Otherwise, I'm dead forever.
Yeah. And I don't want to die.
Dying sucks. I'm there's a line in his last missions.
Like I have to get there before he loses completely. Exactly.
I am afraid of death, right?
You get to the you get the fact that like
he's calculating this down to the second. Yeah.
Right. And the best part about it is is how it explains
that look on his face when Nero eats shit in the beginning.
Yeah. And he is like, ah,
fuck, ah, fuck.
Do I go? Do I just go in now?
No, no, no, no, no, they lost.
Right. He has that moment of like, I don't want to die.
I want to write the wrongs.
He's right there.
Now I have to now I have to kick the plan down the week three week down the road
three weeks. I don't know if I'm going to be alive in three weeks.
Or do I maybe even just throw it all out because my desire to survive?
Yeah. Right.
The fear inside me is so great that I'll just be like, hey, what's up?
And it's interesting because you compare that to Dante, who as like literally
who could not have less self-preservatory
instincts of any character I've ever seen as he is functionally invincible.
Yeah, I think that facial expression was literally him calculating.
Should I just say fuck it?
I'm afraid of dying. Yeah.
Is this not going to work?
Right. It's such a good fucking moment.
And my like what I love, I really love the ending of DMC five
because they wrap up everything in a neat little package
and then go, but here's six different paths we can go.
Let me get there. Let me get there.
So so he gets to the point where they're now
lying at the body and it's like, Erzan, what has this gotten you?
Fucking nothing. Nothing.
You lost. Right.
And ultimately, like Virgil, what has this gotten you?
Right. Virgil, someone who has been there the entire time, seen the ride
and in these moments is basically like if you like you take the fucking
you take the the the the the reason side of his brain and you and you have him go
what's the line he throws at Dante?
You've never lost anything.
You've never lost anything. Right.
And the obvious answer is he lost you asshole.
And your mom also like you both lost the same.
You know the defining aspect of your life that all you both lost the same
things except the fuck you lost you because of your shit.
Yeah. Right. The fuck he's talking about.
You're so full of shit.
And then in the end.
So like he's willing to ride that time and he grew all the way to the top.
He's willing to open up hell, get what he needs to take that revenge.
Do what he's got to do.
Right. He's doing the whole thing.
And now you get to the part where you're like, OK, you lost as Virgil.
You lost as fucking Nello Angelo.
You are disintegrating and you're about to die.
And your desire for power is so great that you are basically like,
you know what, fuck it, I am going to just go get that fruit.
I'm going to put this plan to the interaction.
And I'm going to plant the fucking Clifod Clifod does its thing sacrifices
an entire city.
So here's the thing.
Apparently, if you dig into the library, does it on its own.
The Clifod is natural.
It does it on its own.
And the whole point of Sparta was dividing that so that he could off
stay that natural thing.
Yeah. Yes. Nonetheless. Right.
I'm going to put the human eating tree in the place where it's going to grow
and do this thing. No, I don't think Virgil planted it.
I'm going to benefit off of creating this existence and rooting myself to its power.
Right. The Clifod becomes his way of bringing himself back from the brink of
death and riding it all the way to the top.
Yeah. Right.
He has no remorse for the actions he's doing, which in this case,
unlike the others, like the other cases of like almost you can make it
circumstantial. In this case, there is nothing circumstantial about it.
A reason is a fuck.
You're killing people for power.
But when I say the trees naturally occurring, I legitimately mean
I believe that that tree was going to happen.
Virgil or no.
No, because the point I what I understand the the the point of Sparta
sealing off the world's was to make that not be able to happen anymore.
Yeah. But the world's
Mundus did the thing all the time.
Yeah. Well, but getting the Yamato allows you to abuse that shit.
Yeah. But guess what?
The guess wasn't happening.
The world wasn't coming together.
I really wish there was an answer in game for this because it's actually
fairly clear.
Dude, the world, the Yamato being inside of Nero's arm meant that
shit was not going to happen, right?
So, um, but he was he used that to split himself.
Did he use that to unlock the Clifar?
OK, you know, so well, but it's like, what do you want to say then?
So a reason is faultless for writing this situation out?
Well, no, no, I and encouraging a much more interesting question is, did
Griff did Griffith fucking Jesus cry?
Did Virgil kill one person ever?
That's this is this.
I'm sorry. This is so weird to me because.
Like, but did he?
It seems quite clear.
Are you sure? How are we even questioning this?
This is so fucking crazy.
Of course, a reason or the fucking bad guy.
He's totally responsible for killing all these people.
But but is he just chilling in the tree
or is the tree attacking people on its own?
All right.
I think that's stupid.
I think that's asinine.
Then you should argue with the games library that says that the tree naturally
occurred. It is a thing that occurs that Mundus did use.
But you're telling me that the fact that because I thought that it was really
the month that he shows up and all this rides out is not his plan.
Yeah, because he starts talking about that he has very little time left.
And that could mean him or it could mean that he knows that the Clifar
is going to have it. But regardless of that,
do you remember your complaint during the end of the LP that was really weird
where everyone is acting like Virgil did nothing wrong?
Yes. Is that because he actually did nothing wrong?
I have. That's where I was trying to go because I have a really good thing
that I've concluded based on that. Right.
I have something that I really think makes sense, putting that all together
that feels like it's intentional. OK.
And the problem is if you're trying to tell me that, oh, no,
Urizen actually did nothing.
And he just sat there and wrote on the juice and he wrote on the benefits
of natural karma killing everybody.
Then I guess the real villain was the tree.
Which yes, that's that that's that's nonsensical to me.
All right. That's insane. Right.
He's literally sitting there.
So he's talking up a bit game.
I will show you now you're growing worse nightmares.
I will give you despair and death. Yeah. Right.
All of that and everything going on.
It's just like self-defense. Right.
I'm just high. I'm just writing this out.
Well, that was self-defense near or cut him.
OK. Well, anyway, that's not where I was trying to go.
So I don't know what to tell you. All right.
I had something lined up that I was trying to set.
Well, let's go there then. OK.
Well, what I'm trying to what I'm trying to establish is the fact that.
So he's fucking like sitting there because you're your desire for power
and the fact that you have
sacrificed absolutely everything to get to this point. Yeah.
You have griffithed it. Yeah. Right.
The behelit is the Clifoth. Yeah. Right.
And I and I see the I see that type of parallel as one where
you're willing to like you're talking about protecting things as as Virgil.
But ultimately, when you split it off into its raw form,
it's not about protection.
It's about I want it. It's about just desire.
It's about lust. Right. It's about greed.
It's not as nothing to like you mix it in with what's left of the
and it becomes protection.
It becomes defense becomes a mammary.
And it becomes a yeah, a mammary kind of twist on.
But really, it's just I want it.
And that's the one thing that it becomes something that allows you to accept it.
Yeah. For what it is.
But the reason exposes it for its rawness.
It's just a selfish desire. Yeah. Right.
He fucking sits there.
He stabs the thing in Virgil Dante,
who twice now could have just tricked to fix the situation or shot him.
That chose not to. But whatever.
Dante has a really good habit of just going, wait, in the plot moments.
But you know, no, no.
He almost my favorite is takes two steps.
Dude, the best is when Virgil comes back
and Dante throws the sword to his side and goes, get out of my way, Nero.
And like, Nero is like to have a left and kind of behind him.
And it's like, what are you?
Are you just saying that for drama?
So they come back together.
Alphandomega drops. Yes. Overblown diet title.
Yes. But he is the beginning and end of Dante's story.
It is what it is.
Virgil's now back and it's like, yeah, there he is.
There's the boy, right?
And everyone's treating him like it's Virgil.
He's back and he's acting kind of like, yeah, I'm back and I'm a little bit.
Dude, it's almost like I'm a completely different person.
But you're like, but the facts remain.
You're a fuck. You are so guilty.
You have so much blood on your hands.
But does he? And we can't write that off.
Let me. At least get there.
All right, all right. All right.
So he has.
This entire thing now where one half of you did the worst.
Yeah. And is essentially irredeemable,
which I remember calling sitting on that couch.
Yeah. The moment it happened.
I'm like, this doesn't write what you did. You went too far.
Yeah. Right.
And the way that Dante acts to him when he pops out feels as if
Dante himself is like, dude, you went too fucking far.
Right. All of the lines Dante's throwing out at him are really like,
this isn't just one of those, hey, what's up?
Nice to see you. Or who's this villain?
You're kind of cool. Oh, shit. I didn't know it was you.
This is, dude, what the fuck were you thinking?
Right. This is, don't you understand that literally all your
stupid angst is over nothing because mom cared about you too?
Like, why are you? Why don't you get it?
Right. And then ultimately it's.
You I literally can't trust you to your own devices.
Right. You can't be trusted. Right.
You're just like it's it's Dante getting to the point of
I'm sure somewhere inside it's nice that you're back, but also fuck.
I literally need to babysit you for the rest of your eternal fuck.
Right. And that, to me, lends credence to the idea that Dante
thought he went too far, which wipes out the stupid idea that Virgil's
not responsible. I don't know, because like I get what you're saying.
So anyway, so anyway, it's not supportive. Right.
So that side of things exists.
And to me, now you go, all right.
So Virgil's guilty and thus he's not redeemable here.
You're like, but wait, hold on. What about V?
What about the experiences of V?
What about the fact that this other character?
Yeah. On its own in an isolated bubble, in an isolated system.
I love saying it because it's a muse reference, but V is someone who is redeemable.
Right. Who has walked the path and is trying to right his wrongs
with what little time he has left, except he's not doing it selflessly
because he has a desire to survive. Yeah. OK.
So what happens when you fuse those two together to create the same person?
Right. And what and like literally this one has more depth than the original did.
Yeah. Well, you get a situation where to me,
it seems like you don't deserve to continue to exist.
And I'm not to mention like you're a shitty dad
and you fucking you're the worst at that shit.
He forgot that he even banged a chick just doesn't even.
Oh, yeah, I did fuck that.
You're super garbage about that whole thing.
Right. But before he even actually knows who Nero is,
the first thing he says before he walks into that portal is thank you, Nero.
So you go, whoa, what's that about?
Right. And it took a second.
Here's my conclusion.
That is V thanking Nero for the experience they had together.
Absolutely. Right.
Which means the memories of V exist within Virgil,
which is why he changes like and questions things in a way he didn't and so on.
So the two come together and someone who is redeemable
and someone who isn't become the same person. Great.
So you're writing a story.
What kind of outcome does that person deserve?
Well, a reason deserves an end in death because you have.
You've done the right dad, right?
The deserves a happy ending,
if not like one where he gets to go to a metaphorical heaven,
but you don't quite get that he deserves life.
One deserves death.
What can we do to compromise that?
How about a Valhalla?
Esk like it's not quite heaven.
It's a little bit of purgatory.
It's not quite hell.
You're literally in the middle because you're not getting to exist
in the world with your new son that you just found out about.
Yeah, you're now since you're now you have feelings for him.
You have sentiment because V has established that.
You dropped the fucking book for him because clearly now you are Sundare,
but you have some connection there. Yes, very dead.
But you're not allowed to stick around and write out this relationship.
You don't get to exist in this world for what you've done.
You get to exist in a purgatory of sorts, a limbo,
but you do the one thing that you love more than anything else for eternity,
which is you and Dante get to fucking fight.
OK, right.
So it's the way you take someone who deserves more and someone who deserves
less and you put them together and he gets an outcome
fitting of both characters smashed together where it's not quite heaven
and it's not quite hell, but it's something that you can live with.
And it's in theory for eternity.
All right. So I think that's great.
I love that idea.
I think 99 percent of that lives in your mind.
OK. And that it is Vegeta was really bad.
But then it turned out that they were able to undo all the bad he did.
And then him and Goku went and trained in hell until the sequel.
OK, like, I think it is literally that simple.
And I think you going down this insane rabbit hole of redemption and different.
It's like, no, yours and was the bad part and he died.
Yes. And V was the good part.
And now Virgil remembers what it is to be good.
So he is a changed person.
But does Virgil does Virgil die?
Sorry, Virgil is dead.
Does V die?
No, V is now integrated.
Then that means he's not dead either.
Sure, fine, whatever.
But now he understands what it is to be guilty.
So he is a better person so that him and Goku can go fight sell in the sequel.
I think that is what the ending is about.
I mean, if you're if you're going to throw the fact that a sequel's
existence is like as a lock in this way as a core point,
look at the ending of that game where they go, Nero,
you handle things on earth, Trish and Lady, I have a job for you.
Hey, Virgil, Dante, guess you're fighting in hell forever.
It could be like it could be.
No, it is leaving everything open so they can do whatever they want.
At the end, absolutely.
There is a there is always a things need to remain open.
Yeah, right.
And it will have the same thing.
Anytime we talk about fucking persona or any one of these places where you're like,
yeah, vague is good because it lets you build off of it.
If you decide to, right?
If you don't for what it's worth.
I'm assuming the writers, yeah, and I'm assuming the people who are
putting this game together are putting it together in its own.
I I think they intentionally left it unclear like the argument that we just had,
whether or not Virgil actually ever and I mean ever killed even one person
so that they can write it off later where he's had a change of heart.
So it's all because that's the way Dante acts.
This is what I hate right now, because it's like now there's probably
way more places to go with this conversation that we can't go
because we have to literally like wait for someone to scroll to point out
after this podcast is done.
I read this one piece.
I read it. I read it as well.
The Clifond occurs naturally.
Yes, but it also seems like the Clifond occurring in this case was something
that Mundus, well, Mundus took took advantage of.
But it seems like that not happening for the longest while
was based on Sparta's actions to save humanity.
So what I'm trying to say is that the fact like I think
or isn't came along and undid that.
I don't think you did.
I think you just took advantage.
Well, and this is where we can't go anywhere.
No, but no, that's my point.
I think that you think that that is unclear so that they can go.
Yeah, Virgil totally killed all those people and he was evil all along.
Or, you know, Virgil was just kind of misunderstood.
Now he's wearing a pink shirt.
That's his bad man on it.
And I mean, look, I'm the kind of person
who are I'm always willing to hear out the possibility
that I'm wrong and what I'm thinking about.
Yeah, I'm willing to compromise if there's facts that that presented otherwise.
I'm not going to sit here and double down just because, yes,
it's the funnier way to go.
Sure, but I'm realistically looking at this as I feel like this story
written top to bottom for itself, for the script that is Devil May Cry 5,
not necessarily knowing what's going to happen later, but wanting to
potentially conclude this storyline does this in a way
where you have two halves of the same character
that each have their their beginning, middle and end.
Yeah, so what I feel about that genuinely is that since these experience
like on that level, since various experiences changed him
and led him grow as a character, Virgil is good now.
He's a jerk, but he's good.
Yes, done. Virgil gets to benefit from these growth.
Yeah, but like and reasons loss, right?
You would have maybe questioned
he whether he would have learned, but he didn't because up till the last second,
he was clawing for more power after eating the fruit to the point where
I'm almost of the opinion that the way these talking before he stabs him
is one where he has to convince Orizan to let it happen.
Yeah, he has to convince him to because Orizan,
if Orizan just wants, probably didn't want that, it probably wouldn't have happened.
Yeah. Right.
He has to say, let it let me come back in.
You're about to die.
You have nothing left, right?
That's what I think.
And that's the thing is, I think I think the waiting for that moment knows
that it's only in the moment where he knows there's nothing left,
that the only sign of power he'll have is the weak ass little golf kids
standing on his chest is where he'll accept him.
But what I'm talking about is like the reason why I feel that it is literally
just as simple as Virgil good now. OK, because if they showed
it was in plotting, the planning, the tree, it would have made it.
No, not even that, not even that is that the way Dante talks to him
is just giving the Yamato.
Yeah. And it's not it's not like and when Nero goes to fight them,
it's not, hey, Virgil, you killed a million people.
It's I'm not going to let you two kill each other because you're a family.
But and then they go and leave and they're like,
huh, you know, you are pretty funny.
And like, there's no animosity.
There's no anger, but he does say, but he does say
someone's got to keep an eye on your old man.
Yeah, can't be trusted with that thing.
Yeah, because he's done stupid portal shit in the past.
Yes. So effectively.
OK, what I it's not as explicit.
It's definitely not as explicit as it should be for the purposes of,
like, well, we don't know if they want to go anywhere in the future with this.
Yeah. And you're right in the sense that if they showed the fucking
like they could have showed the planting, yeah, to really hard lock that in there.
But here's the plausible denial.
I hate the fact that you have to say that there's plausible liability there.
I'm going to go on a different path here.
Let's say yours and plants the tree, right,
and uses the Yamato arm to do it all that shit, right?
Yeah, it's very clear that Nero and Dante make a distinction
between what you're in does and did.
You're in. Yes.
Sorry, yours and what yours and does and did and what Virgil is,
because they do they clearly do not blame Virgil for your actions.
The way they treat him is more amicable than your reason,
but still, like, God fuck, we can't really trust you.
Well, no, because he's a dumb ass and he's a jerk.
Yeah, which is basically the fuse, the fusion of the two.
But he's really tough and we need to go to Namek later.
So, like, freezes back, like, and they also have a weird problem.
I mean, I hear you, but it sounds like they're treating him
like he's V and a reason together.
I know they think they're treating him like Virgil from Devil May Cry three,
who's a jackass, who is a jackass?
And also, you didn't see anyone get crushed by the Tamaniguru.
All those buildings could have been like they have literally set it up
in a way that they could literally go.
Arkham was going to do it anyway. Virgil just Virgil doesn't even get to kill
Arkham, he stabs, he tries to kill him and Arkham survives.
Like, it's like, it's like, so the Tamaniguru and everything in that city.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just like when Superman punches the dark side through all those buildings.
So, but unlike all the like the demons literally coming up
to Dante's door down the street from him.
Yeah, that's right. Right.
Him being in that city.
Actually, that was Arkham that did that.
Oh, yeah. Everyone was fine.
Otherwise, like, OK, well, I agree with you.
I really do.
But the game is pretending.
Yeah. Like, like, we like they're pretending like
because Dante doesn't care.
He really doesn't care.
They would have, they could do more.
They could have easily done more to show you.
Remember in DMC three, when he has the
that he's a fault, very into the game.
And he goes, I need to stop you because you're a bad person.
Despite the stakes in this game being way higher.
That doesn't happen.
I mean, he gets that speech to the big evil gross demon, not to the person.
Or is then talking about how you will resent being born human and weak.
You don't have devil's power and whatnot.
Is him basically talking to himself, quite frankly.
Yeah.
Being like super duper but hurt about being partially human,
despite the fact that in the end, it turns out that the more human you are,
the fucking the better off you are.
Yeah, dude. With being a devil.
I really love that everyone has come to like a generalized agreement
that it's under saying rules.
Yeah. One drop of one drop of demon blood lets you DT.
Yes. And the rest is based on how much human is in you.
Yeah. And it's just it's feeding you power.
So it's actually way, way better.
You're a mini-clifoth.
It's way, way like Nero's kids are going to be better than Nero.
Like Nero caught up to the most powerful characters in the universe.
Yeah. In like a week at like, look at all the shit
Virgil and Dante had to do in that game.
Yes. And Nero just caught up because he felt you felt real strong.
Unstoppable octarune devil trigger.
Yeah. Like when you when you get to the point where one eighth of your blood
is slightly devil.
Oh, man, it's even better.
Right. The world is heading to a good place where this is like
the sons of Sparta are unstoppable as they become more human.
The best thing the best thing they ever could have done was crossbreed
and defy the time cube.
Having said, I don't know what I don't know what they do in the future
with Don, I really do feel like a good part of that ending
is to like kick near a kick fucking Dante and Virgil out to pasture
because like I don't know what there is to even do with those characters
as they're both the two.
They're now like the strongest shit ever that's ever been.
Like in DMC for they talked about how Dante stronger than Sparta ever was.
And he's like, what, a hundred times stronger than that now?
Like it's the you know.
Now, would you say that kill hell?
Would you say that this is a similar situation of like
we want to say more definitive things,
but but perhaps we won't based on not knowing what we'll do in the future.
That's absolutely what I think. Fine.
Well, I absolutely think there could have been a much more definitive thing.
Yeah, but they wanted to leave a situation open
where every playable character, including V, yes, can return in the future.
Well, removing the desire for that obscurity,
I think what that that fog of war is hiding
is something that I like that's close to what I've described.
I think and I feel that like the
like, yes, it could just be coincidental
and it could just be like events playing out the way they do.
But I think when someone that knows how to write a script
and write a character that has flaws and has a journey
that they're supposed to sort of complete,
you kind of try to have these arcs for them.
Right? Sure.
And I think that when you have someone like
Orison come along and be like V is so much more real
of a person than Virgil ever was.
Oh, absolutely.
But Virgil makes V is to Virgil as Virgil is to Orison.
OK. Orison is nothing.
That's right.
He's absolutely nothing as a character, right?
It's the master of the week. Yeah.
And I think the fact that Virgil original
has a bit of humanity and is leaps and bounds above
whatever you would call Orison and V being the most human
is leaps and bounds above Virgil is practically intentional
because it's so much of a gap, of course.
But at the end of the day,
so I think it was written in a way that they wanted
to conclude these three arcs.
I completely agree.
But at the end of the day, Nero is more angry at fucking Virgil
for being a deadbeat than he is over the supposed millions
of people that he killed.
I mean, you know, and I think again,
I think you just have to read into Dante saying shit,
like you can't be trusted.
You're old man.
I got to keep an eye on him.
Give me the sword or whatever.
Like, I think I see.
You know what I interpret that as?
Dante is looking for any excuse to leave.
I don't know about that because Dante is played as depressed.
Yes, whenever he's not fighting.
OK, but the whole depressed Dante narrative is all is just as
like it's the same.
It's coming from the same place of what I'm conflicting with that.
I mean, like the idea of him like actually walking around
and frowning and whatnot, you that's it's very clear
that you can go the early games didn't quite have this character down yet.
No, they didn't.
And then you just retroactively fit it.
And guess what?
Hey, it works, right?
I don't know, man.
And it's fun.
And it's fun chilling in an office with no power for however long.
And it's fun to think about based on this being something
that retroactively explains the past and retroactively explains
like a franchise learning what its character should be.
Yeah.
Whereas in this case, you know that somebody sat down at a fucking
at a computer and literally wrote out the beginning prequel like novel.
Of DMC five all the way through to the end credits, you know, in the same city.
Yeah.
And when Dante is not fighting anything, he's kind of just chilling out
and being bummed out and reading magazines.
Yeah.
He's just sitting around doing his thing and don't make when he's like,
hey, I'm going to go fight virtual and hell forever.
He's like, haha, yay.
I'm not I'm not I'm not this I'm not I'm not like
saying that that I'm not saying that that theory is false
because I buy into it as well.
Yeah, I think it's I think it's real and I think it's fun.
But I do think that you're left with you're not it's not explicit enough.
There's no actual moment where you see Dante sitting staring at his shoes.
And then a client walks in and he goes, whoa, hey, oh, pizza.
But you know what I mean?
Like they they didn't express me so good.
I know.
And we that's what we want to see.
But they didn't actually put that on camera, right?
In such a way where you'd go, oh, that's definitively what they're doing.
Oh, man. Right.
We're just going there based on our observations
and also looking at the previous games because it's so I'm in the I'm in that
same space right now, right?
Feeling from Lady or Trish either.
Like like they seem like when Dante's not around and they're not murdering stuff,
chilling, having a pizza, talking.
Yeah, whatever.
But you never get like what I mean.
The raw surface of Devil May Cry is not meant to have this type of thing
going through it underneath.
Uh-huh. You know, it's not something where like
because if they wanted if they wanted it to be more clear,
they would make it more clear.
Animes cannon.
Animes cannon.
That means Dante is depressed.
OK. Period.
OK.
He the what you're talking about about him being staring at his shoes.
Yeah.
That is like every two episodes in that anime.
He is like depressed eating ice cream.
OK. Like that is that 100 percent cannon.
And in fact, he's trying to get away from Patty in his introduction
in the in the thing right from the anime.
And he's like, I don't want to see people.
I don't want to go to a party.
OK. I just want to either sit here or go kill shit.
OK. That's cool.
I thought that most of that was coming from not the anime place,
but considering they work those characters.
There's a little that makes a lot of sense.
There's a little hint to that where one of the the the mission finishes
is him depressed in the van eating a Sunday in in DMC five.
And he's just looking at a chocolate sundae with like.
Yeah.
Like like like Dante is a depressed eater.
When Dante is depressed, he eats ice cream.
Yeah.
So but that's that's pretty much it.
You know, like, that's that's the one thing I just wanted to touch on was I felt
like I thought there was an urges depressed.
He wants power, which is all the time.
I yeah, I felt like V was written as a character
that has like an introduction, a middle and an ending, as you would for this time.
He was written so that female fans of Devil May Cry
can fucking blow their seats off to gush and that too.
Let's go watch any Gundam franchise with boy bands
in the like because Dante and Virgil and Nero and all that.
Like I could see them like having a certain appeal, but like clearly
it's been established that V is where it's at.
Yeah.
And it's been established that the parts of him that are V are the parts that
fucked. Yeah.
It wasn't the or is inside of him.
V knows what that got laid.
If V is the side of him that got laid.
I saw a really funny tweet.
I know it's way off top, but it was just like stop kidding yourself.
You horny fuck, sex isn't real.
Your mom kissed your dad.
Then the bird brought you fucking idiots.
Right, right, right, right.
That's great.
And there's these all like this hilarious like post five world of like fucking
Virgil awkwardly rejoining this cast is hilarious.
Yeah, because he's such a weirdo.
He's such a complete and utter weirdo.
It's really so it's funny and amazing how successful
they were at conveying the weirdness of this kid from three.
You know what it really feels in a further context where everyone knows
how to awkwardly write him into the west of the world.
I really feel like it is very like post Majin Buu like fucking Vegeta or
hey, remember Vegeta did all that shit.
But we fixed it.
So you're cool now.
Yeah, I'm cool.
Well, and then you can give him lines like me and the Namaks have a
troubled history and then people go, oh, that's good.
That's good because you know what that is.
That's a little bit of growth.
Yeah.
And you're not going to get a whole lot of it.
So if we get a sequel that has Virgil in it, I bet you that the redemptive arc
is going to just continue.
Well, here's the thing, right?
There's never been a time or a place where a sequel couldn't come along
and completely fuck up something that existed or was established in the previous
franchise.
For example, anyone who watched Gundam Seed and is familiar with the character
Kigali knows what happens to her in Gundam Seed Destiny, right?
We can go to the biggest, smelliest literal shitpile and show you
that a sequel can try to set something up or rather a series can try to set
something up, conclude it and then decide, you know what?
We need more content so we can just double down on it and ignore what we did.
OK, right.
So there's definitely no accounting for the fact that anything can happen
in a Devil May Cry six and it doesn't have to at all really consider Devil
May Cry five.
But looking at what Devil May Cry five tried to do with this dude V that showed
up and then went out and there's a reason that showed up and then went out
and then then becoming this one guy that's a call back to what we knew,
but also kind of different and then giving him something that is like,
what kind of ending do you deserve as a character?
Because I couldn't imagine a better one.
Yes, because right if they ended that thing and it's like, OK, well,
Virgil, you have you go on your way and you have a good day and you go open up
a shoe store to the core of why I really like what happened with Virgil
overall here is because anything else would be awful.
It would be unsatisfying and it would be shit.
Right. And perhaps the future will undo that in a way that I'll hate.
I don't know. In in five.
But for this purpose, you're tagging out in a right place because
if it was better, he doesn't deserve it.
And if it was worse, he doesn't deserve it. Yeah.
This weird. I may not.
This weird limbo is exactly what you.
Talk about limbo.
You know, it was a city.
Yeah. Yeah.
This weird non future is exactly what you deserve.
So I just realized that that Virgil gets the same ending in both games
that he's the primary antagonist is that he gets.
He goes to hell and goes, I'm in hell.
Dad was a bad ass, but I'm a huge bad ass.
I'm going to do it.
And the only difference is in one, it's played as a future loss.
And in the other, it's played as a pseudo victory.
Right. In three, it's like, oh, he's going to fucking lose.
Yeah. And in five, it's like, nothing's going to stop these two ever.
Oh, yeah. Ever. Right.
Like, I mean, I want I like quite frankly, I cut and show me back.
Show me the scene where there are kids playing and decided and they
are they both decide that jackpot's a cool thing to say when they do a team up attack.
You know, like the funny part about the whole like, man,
my dad was the coolest badass ever.
I can go surpass women, whatever.
And oh, man, Sparta, Sparta, Sparta, everyone wants to be Sparta.
Is that now what we know about Nero proves to you that guess what?
Dante and Nero, Dante and Virgil are way fucking better than Sparta.
Yeah, because they're more human.
Yeah. And Nero is way better than them because he's more human.
And if we just follow that logic all the way through,
it's like Sparta, the legendary badass.
It is Nero's responsibility to have like a bunch of kids
and they're all going to be the toughest freaks ever.
Sparta, the legendary badass when push comes to shove
does not have what the others would have,
which is the ability to not that fucking devil trigger up higher
and use that human blood to do more.
They don't live.
They don't have a human blood generating factory within them, you know?
That thing is like that.
That part of the story is really clearly like saying rules, right?
It's it's really because S cells is like Mr.
Gohan, man. S cells. No, the old saying rules.
That's what I'm saying. S cells is weird shit.
We don't know about that. That's demon juice.
Well, it's the same thing.
But but no, just the the amplifier is what it is.
Yeah. Right.
Which then makes you think, well, hey, now hold on a second.
Why wouldn't you just inject a drop of demon blood into someone
and see what happens, right? Yeah.
Fortuna. That's that totally what happened.
That's exactly what happened.
Also, what do you think of the fact that
Nero's DT looks like a savior?
Well, that that comes from it.
Like I and I actually internalize that myself
as the reason why the DTs keep changing is what their own perception
of the DT should be.
It has to play into it.
It has to. Right.
Because because like the simple explanation like and this is and this is exactly
like like like we're like virtual jeans.
Do not tell him to have a sheath for a specific sword.
That's him. He wants it.
There's so much that like the game kind of doesn't even really want you to care about.
Yeah. But if you were to just kind of go like, let me scratch this for a second.
Hold on. What is that act?
Why does that look like that? Right.
You're going to need a reason for why those devil triggers look different.
And the actual reason is because we got a different artist.
Yeah. Or we wanted to change the design, right?
Or like but like the fact that you read that prequel novel
and it literally has an explanation for why
Ebony and Ivory have the fucking forty five caliber art walks
and why walks is spelt wrong.
Really? Yes. What is the reason?
Because the child because fucking young
Nell's kid was so happy and whatever
and like just wrote out like a piece of art and wrote out art works wrong.
And Nell was like, oh, that's fucking cute and decided to actually.
They really went ham on tying up loose ends on that.
But that's what I'm trying to say, right?
Like the game is aware of the fact that these dumb things
that are just actually explained by someone in Japanese
didn't know how to write artworks and then came back this time around.
I still remember when they fucking described the magical nonsense
that is why Ebony and Ivory have fucking infinite ammo.
And it's like the magic from one gun feeds into the other.
And that's why he always fires them sequentially.
Is like, oh, and and the whole like what's up with like what what's up
with you getting a sword called your dad's name?
What's up with other weapons also being demon devil arms?
That's OK, like they actually went to explain these nonsense things
that were clearly just dumb mistakes.
I actually think that like because, you know, like what happened to Sparta?
Yeah, I think Sparta is the fucking force edge.
Hmm, because what like devil sword Sparta like for most
for most enemies when they die, you get their devil arm after they lose
and or concede, but the force edge is the thing that's sealing the two worlds.
You know, they're keeping the worlds apart.
But we know that he used his power to split into rebellion and Yamato before that.
Yeah. Anyway, so he was a bitch even then.
Man, Sparta was the best.
Oh, man, he's a weird bug, man.
Oh, God, are we going to get a phantom pain for Sparta
to find out he was actually just a piece of shit the whole time?
I told him it was a big piece of shit.
He sent a letter to Arkham and he's like, I need you to do some shit in 2000 years.
So all I wanted to say is that like there's lots of little things
that we're seeing here that they took into consideration that are like
not the obvious things the game is showing you,
but they still thought about it enough to kind of go like, yeah,
but we wanted to do this, right?
To the point where when we say things
like the reason why Nero's ghost devil trigger is floating next to him.
Yeah, the actual reason is just because it looks cool from an artistic point of view.
That's it. That's right. It's all man.
It's the thought that you can retroactively go.
Oh, the knowledge now that Yamato splits things
means we can retroactively say that he got stabbed and it split him.
Yeah, that's why they did it at the time.
No, but you can totally see like that's his devil trigger floating
outside of his fucking body, a partially separated.
Because Nero isn't like a fucking crazy asshole.
It didn't turn into two different people.
So that's what it is.
And I think that every one of those points as well has the same plausible
deniability, but what I what they did with this ending,
if you look at it in the same way where you go, maybe not.
But based on what you probably want to do here with these characters,
it's like, yeah, you did the right thing.
Yeah, you know, and Dante in the meantime,
what kind of ending does he get?
Well, the fucking best one.
He gets to have his brother back.
Yeah, who? Yeah, pizza pizza is a brother.
Right. The thing that he actually cares about, you know,
um, for better and for worse, but he doesn't.
But he does and we'll see.
But there's no pizza in hell, Willie.
There is no pizza in hell, dude.
And that that. OK. Yeah.
DMC six. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That needs to be why like, dude, there's no pizza in hell.
That's that's the reason.
One hundred percent.
Mm hmm. You couldn't do it.
OK, we we fought for like a year and a half and that was pretty cool.
No pizza. Mm hmm.
That sucks.
That totally sucks.
Yeah, 100 percent agreed.
Oh, that'd be fucking that.
So I want that because Nero is like a straight man in five.
Like he is a normal person almost with everyone else being fucking cartoons.
Yeah. And he's like, that's stupid.
You're stupid.
Oh, man. Oh, man.
What would Curie think if she saw this?
So I need I need Dante to come back and be like,
I came back for the pizza and you're to be like, you're an idiot.
You are a stupid man, Dante.
Either that or or just the Iroland.
There it is, you know, like, you know, you know,
his fucking shabby ass clothes and shitty look is all based on the fact that
they're poor because they take our orphans.
They're too busy helping orphans.
Yeah, which, yeah, when you read the book,
that's the first thing that comes up is like or even in that cut scene
where he's just like, oh, yeah, Curie is making food, random,
dark, weird stranger. Come on in, man.
You're giving off a menacing vibe.
Come in, have some food.
You look like you could use it.
Also, it's like, what does Nero have to feel from a random hobo?
Of course, I mean, exactly.
Which is why it's like through and through and through.
You're good people. Yeah, you're good people.
Um, like, and, you know, you know,
because like there's no wedding band on Nero's finger, right?
So that means there's absolutely no chance of the Nero children
in any near time frame, not unless they jump.
What with Curie being a good fortuna, a church going folk?
No, not unless they skip forward.
Yeah.
Well, that's what the sweet surrender's for.
So it's it's for the Lord.
So that's what a sweet surrender was made for the Lord.
First of all, first of all, we don't know that weird
praying, fortuna bullshit doesn't require matrimony.
She's basically a nun.
She is, but we don't know the requirements.
Also, I'm going to go ahead and say that the last remaining few
believers that got impaled by the Clifod
might have probably convinced the rest to kind of give it up.
You know what I think? I think Nero, I think Nero
and Curie, they have to wait till marriage.
And the reason why, despite sweet surrender,
is that Nico made sweet surrender for Nero.
Yes.
And she constantly fucks with him.
So she like, oh, you think he made she made it?
I think she just made it and he's not using it through it down
at him. And he was like, Jesus Christ.
Now he will take that shit to the void.
She the abilities he figured out how to use with it.
It's all there.
He knows how to use it. No, he has used it.
No, that's the fortuna.
Do you think Curie still believes in the savior?
Actually, here's two things.
One, he never got a chance to use it
because he grew his arm back before he got back home.
That's true.
So she she made it for him out on the battlefield.
Yeah. And he got back before he needed it.
He's like, you'll you'll need this.
He's like, fuck off, Nico.
Yeah, he fucking grew that shit back and to know, in fact,
I think Curie a fucking abandoned the church
all of that shit, right?
Because that'd be stupid.
Yeah, I think I think they came out of there going,
man, it sucks that we were raised in this bullshit.
And I think they're kind of like behind that.
That's in their past.
And the few devout weirdos that get impaled.
You don't think that's just some willy protecting?
I want to I want to say I want to say that Curie
probably came past that because quite frankly, right,
going on the prequel information from that from four as well,
like the fact that and this is also why it's so good
when they handle this as well in five.
And I'm so happy that they did.
Credo matters.
Yeah, credo matters.
It was it was buff.
It was baffling in four that they just kind of
gay died, I guess.
Credo matters a lot.
And and yeah.
And remember how I pointed out like Dante and Lady
and you're standing around being like, I guess he died, huh?
That's not so.
Anyway, let's go get that fuck, you know,
but meanwhile, like what like like a dude got
and then you got sucked in as it was going away.
Like that was a way bigger deal for him.
The credo is the saskey he grew up with.
Yeah. Right.
If you want to throw that out there, awful.
Well, you don't want.
It's his Virgil then.
It's his kid, dude.
What? Yeah.
You know, and he died because he was a bitch.
And and and Curie was affected by that as well.
And the fact that that comes back to be like, man,
you know what sucks fucking credo dying sucks.
That's sucked.
And and he brings that up.
He did a face turn.
And and he brings that up and like Curie is on the phone like, yeah, I know.
Like you think Curie is going to continue believing
in the thing that killed her brother?
I don't know. Yeah.
Poor shit. Yeah.
You know what they need to do in the next game?
They just need to just put, you know,
Nero's character model, just put a ring on his finger.
Don't talk about it.
Have the same scenes with Curie or whatever.
Just put rings on their fingers.
If I write, you know what you're doing?
What's that?
If I was standing at the Vatican with the bodies of various cardinals
at my feet, demon, malfested cardinals and staffs hanging around.
And you're going and I'm like, hey, wow, that was kind of crazy, huh?
And she's like, yeah, yeah, let's get out of here.
It's time for the fortuna reformation.
And I'm walking out of the fucking bloody, the bloody Vatican.
And you're going, I wonder if Willie still believes I wonder if they still
like, I wonder the ending of four is literally them stepping over the bodies
hand in hand, right?
Chapelle walking slowly over the dead body listening to a
fortuna-esque preacher on the fucking radio in the fucking first thing in the game.
And he turns it off.
Yeah, he turns it off.
That's maybe that's because he's so sick of hearing that shit at home.
No, but the people, but the weird fortuna people that get stabbed clearly exist.
Yeah, there's a radio station for them.
That's not Kyrie.
Maybe maybe she runs it.
Now you maybe maybe maybe Kyrie is so invested that she's siphoning orphanage
money for fortuna radio.
The orphans know the orphans are literally people whose parents died in that event.
Kids who was all for a reason for savior kids who were made orphans by the savior.
Are their life's work?
And you think their dedication to those kids is not coming from a place where
they're like, man, that sucks.
Listen, sorry for the bad ride.
I know the savior's real.
We got some food in his grand-nephew.
Oh, no, grandson, grandson.
Why nephew?
I fuck with.
Yeah.
Only asshole still pray to the demons and Sparta.
And they're done.
They're out.
They're atheists now in the demon world.
Nero and Kyrie are atheists.
Damn it.
I won't have it any other way.
Glowing with demonic power.
You can say what the fuck you will about me and my V your reason story.
But I will not have you telling me that Nero and Kyrie believe.
Fuck you.
It's just probably just a chaste lady wants to save it till the marriage.
That's kind of what happens.
Anyway, you grow out.
Guess what? Yeah, right?
You grow out of the church.
You grow out of the specific rule set, but you retain the the core or feel and
my and the overall like, you know, the thing that's inside that goes, hey,
you know, it's still probably a good idea to be a good person.
Yeah. Yeah.
That comes from Bible.
Yeah. But then I go, well, OK, but fuck the actual Bible part of it.
Like, but I still see the core of why that's a good idea.
I think that like Sparta and Eva were like the shittiest parents ever.
Then taught their kids a bunch of shitty lessons.
I mean,
demons are attacking hide in the closet is a pretty shitty escape plan.
It's when the house is burning down, hide in the closet.
Notice that are you for real?
Notice that she got four steps out.
Oh, she dies instantly.
Like unless the scream is premature and then it's one of those,
oh, she gets pulled somewhere and then Dino hell happens and she's wondering.
You know what I mean?
Like unless you established more on that,
that cut scene seems to imply that she takes four steps out from the room
that I was hiding in.
I really gets ganked.
So the only thing you don't they didn't hear was an announcer going
so this dick smoking sick style like that she gets quadruple.
That cut scene is like the single most important thing that ever happened.
End of may cry, right?
Is Eva's death, which starts everything rolling the way it's directed.
I like I laughed like it's it's slapstick the way she goes out the door
and dies like that.
You want to instantly you want to talk about like keeping shit vague
for not trampling on the future.
Never see your fucking dog.
You have no idea.
So do we want to do we want to introduce someone
that specifically killed her later?
That's not Mundus or whatever the fuck, right?
Whatever it is, it's it appears that Dante and Virgil's revenge
should have been like fucking focused around fire safety.
Be cool about fire safety.
Out at what picture, if you will, a huddling Dante in his closet
with the crack of the fucking light of the roaring flames outside.
And he's hearing the battle music slowly get lyrics
because Eva is getting the getting styled on so hard
that whatever team is doing it is just juggling the corpse
with new weapons and crazies.
Sword trick, gun, sword trick.
Oh, that was one of my favorite stupid meme.
So it's like throwing people like confused faces
and it's like demon when you hear sword trick, gun trick, royal in the distance.
Oh, so DMC five is OK.
It's all right.
Starts hearing music because he's doing the extended dance taunt.
Yeah, it's like, why won't why won't the battle end?
Did you hide in that closet?
Bloody palace.
Not yet.
They do something crazy with some of that.
I saw I saw there's some insane animations.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's animations that are like one's cheeky and one is cheekier.
And one is like, oh, I saw.
OK, I think I saw a spoiler one in the form of V. OK.
You saw V's and like his.
Yeah, OK, I saw V taking out Virgil.
So like I'm I'm just going to talk about what those are
because the four in the DMC five spoiler cast.
Yeah, so the endings of Bloody Palace are cool animations that it's like
Dante goes, haha, I'm the best.
And he has a big he has a big heart behind him.
And then he sticks his hair back like Virgil from DMC three.
Oh, fun. And he and it and it stays.
And that's he and it's like, oh, they are twins.
It's just the hair makes a bigger difference, right?
Wait, but Dante's face.
Dante and Virgil's faces are the same.
Are they? Yeah, they totally are.
I mean, they are they were before, but they are here in this game, too.
Yeah. And when he sticks his hair back, it's like, oh, that's Virgil.
It's really wild.
And really doesn't feel like and fucking Kylo Ren's.
Sorry. But the face model I saw was very clearly this one actor.
And they're not they show you the side by side.
Whatever face model. They should be the same asshole, but it's not.
Anyway, fine, they're different.
But he looks just like Virgil with the hair.
OK, with V, it's yes, the special kill against Virgil, where he stabs him.
But then he also has like he turns the cane into a lightsaber
and swings it around. OK.
Right. But Nero's as he puts his hoodie on
and his eyes go demon and he goes, now I'm the one with power in a demon voice.
Whoa, OK.
And the best thing about that is that when you beat Bloody Palace,
you get those as taunts. Yeah. OK.
And you get demon Nero as a character when you do that taunt.
You get slick back, Dante, when you do that taunt and it stays until he gets hit.
Yeah, that's really cool. That's cool.
I fucking love that.
Well, although lightsaber came stays.
It doesn't stay, but it has a hitbox when he swings it. Yeah. OK.
It's so stupid. That's fine.
It's very Kylo Renish.
Yeah, man. So, you know, this is this.
We said it before or whatever, like, who knows where this goes
or what this does or whatever, like,
quite frankly, if you're going to go somewhere, the fact that they said
they'd probably stay out of hell is probably a good idea.
Or they didn't say that, but they said to end of the story or whatever.
And I mean, of course, the end of the Sons of Sparta.
And of course, all you can do with that is just blatantly lie
and then bring expectations and whatever the fuck.
But it'd be cooler if you didn't.
It'd be cooler if you let it let.
Very excited for the special edition that will add, obviously, three more characters.
They're making money. Yeah. You know.
I enjoyed it, obviously.
But I did not expect there to be.
Like any meat whatsoever to the story.
Yeah. And there was.
There actually was. I completely agree.
And I really, really am like expectations exceeded in that respect as well.
And I'm not going to sit here and say that it's a filet mignon,
but like based on what I still was getting about devil.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
But based on what I thought I was getting, I was really like, oh, wow.
Especially when it comes to V.
But I thought it was important to get out there that me,
someone who is known as the biggest Virgil mark out there.
Yeah. A thousand percent will sit here and tell you
that V is a better.
You know what they've totally done, right?
They can easily, I mean, easily run it forward
and just have Virgil act like V in the future.
Absolutely.
They can just have Daniel Southboard just reading William Blake Poetry.
If they wanted to show you him embracing that side of him more
and learning that the Ur is inside is kind of worth nothing.
Yeah. There's nothing worthwhile there at all.
Yeah. Right.
And like, yeah, just the that that
like there's there's only that's the only conclusion you can have
if you bring both sides of that multiple man back together
and you're forcing them to if you're forcing V to sit in a chair
with a reason and have a conversation.
So who's actually going to have more points?
I just had the best idea based on something that you said the LP.
So goth kid turns weeaboo when he sees the katana, right?
What if instead of William Blake Poetry, Virgil starts writing bad haikus?
So he starts making his own.
Yeah, he's a bad weeaboo poet.
That'd be hilarious.
That'd be very funny.
And everyone is like, oh, he's like, no, but my poems, though, guys.
But but it's too late because he's already doing the sword flicks
like the light rail Avenger.
And he's also been given. Oh, wow.
There's a pole.
And he's also been given a reason to because the fucking Japanese sword
came from his dad.
I don't know if you know this, but Sparta invented Japan.
He came from his dad.
His dad just go forth and be a weeb, son.
Yes. Hey, other son, rock on with this Western shit.
Dark souls, Sekiro.
He fucking gave it to them.
It's really, you know, what chance did you have a line that Virgil says?
Like, what if our paths were switched?
And all I can think of is like, I want to see evil rock in Dante
and heroic noble like weeaboo Virgil.
Yeah. And in my mind, that actually is like, that's much more common.
Yes, I feel. Well, yeah.
Well, that just becomes every anime ever.
And yeah, where the hero is stoic and the and the villain is wild.
Yeah. Right.
That becomes like not the that.
Yeah, that's your blue only hero and your red only villain is all.
As we race to try and think of examples.
Yeah, you know, I'm sorry, I'm talking about.
And remember when Mugen was the villain of Sam Raichan blue?
I mean, I do.
Brandon Heat is the is the blue only in Harry McDougal is the red.
Oh, no.
Don't make Christ stupid.
Is great.
So I think that the best I think that the most
riding in Sam, I think.
Yeah, I think the best compliment you can give to a universe
is that I want to see what it looks like when nothing's going on.
Like, I think that I think the of a fictionalized like action universe.
I think the best the best compliment you can give it is that I desperately want
to see what is up when nothing is bad is happening.
I think you get a couple of glimpses.
I think you get the glimpse when the news is covered.
No, but like I would sit calm in the Devil May Cry universe.
Because it's so stupid.
I think you get a glimpse when Virgil's walking down the streets
of Fortuna and the lady in red turns to look at him.
She read.
She's wearing she's wearing a pinkish red thing
with a white with what you never did it.
Yeah, yeah, though, you know, there's a bunch of bunch of people
walking around doing the church thing.
And she's like, oh, that little guy's hot.
Yeah. And then and then and then them driving down the streets
of a fucking red rave.
I just saw the ending.
I just saw the stupidest thing in the chat and I'm pissed.
What? Because it makes me a good goal.
It's like, you know who that lady in red was?
What?
Jean Jean. Yeah.
I saw that comic.
What does all the comics now in the mods?
What did you see?
Fucking probably his original design in Persona five.
How it's literally just Bayonetta.
Oh, no. Yeah.
Fucking didn't see that.
It's ridiculous.
What city did DMC three take place in?
City was the city.
The Devil May Cry is that where is that?
Is that red grave?
I guess it would be the Dante shop is there.
Does that mean that's where is the or what?
I guess everything happens in red grave.
Is that the same shop or not?
What about when in four when we pet when the streets
we got on that same street?
But we're seeing the new version of it
that they come flying out of and they do the fucking jackpot pose.
What street? Where is that?
Did the ten minute grew literally pop out of the ground
down the block in red grave, not but 20 years ago?
Yeah, totally.
For real, I'm trying to find this design.
I'm not finding it.
You're not finding it.
Yeah, it's just been out. It's literally just been out.
Yeah. Yeah.
So anyway, that's where I'll leave it.
I'm extraordinarily happy with that.
That that is a very good game.
Yeah, it's a very good game.
And I eagerly await for Resident Evil.
I guess it kind of did, but not quite.
Are seven did the same thing where it's like it kind of reset
everything back to a state where like we can keep going now.
But then they didn't remake.
So it's like it didn't really move forward at all.
But I've already said my bid on this and people really hated it.
So I don't need to go back there.
Was that that I think it's fine to end it.
But, you know, oh, people hated that.
Yeah, they got everyone really hates when I say that because they're like,
but I want more.
And I'm like, I know me too.
But I can end on a nice note instead of a well,
because like everything I hate.
Hey, by the way, I hate repeating this because it's just more.
It's just like, it's the whole like, yes,
will we go on about the anthologies again?
We know we know about the anthology.
I know.
I just think I have faith in the people that made it
to make other things.
Well, here's the thing, though, is that and this is a thing.
It's because it's a game like the the gameplay aspect,
like double my cry gameplay.
Yeah, I care way more about that continuing than Dante or Nero or anything.
You know, percent, right.
But like that mentality doesn't give you bloodborne.
That mentality doesn't give you bed at Bayonetta.
You're right.
That mentality doesn't give you the new thing you didn't know you wanted.
But you it also doesn't give you DMC double my cry.
It also doesn't give you that.
And that's the that also doesn't give you that.
But we know about this firsthand.
Because losses feel stronger than wins.
Yes. And I told but but but when the new thing is there,
boys, it exciting when you had no idea, right?
And and I had this talk with a lot of this was a bit was part of what me
and spy sat down and talked about.
Yeah, right. A lot of this is what we just went over.
But a big part of it is like this feeling about like not wanting
not necessarily wanting to let the old thing go is is a bit of it ties into
somewhat how you know how when we're playing current thing,
the biggest request is for current thing part two.
Yeah. And you know, as videos, we're talking about videos, videos and you know,
deep down that you actually don't really care.
Like you can get current thing part two, but what you're not asking for is
thing you never thought you'd get.
That's really cool when I am after this.
But you know what ends up happening?
Thing you never thought you'd get that turns out to be really exciting
is what you go. Oh, fuck.
And now you're on board with that.
Here's where you stop asking for thing.
Other thing part two.
Here's where the poison comes.
What's up? All right.
I beat Dark Souls three.
I'm like, I don't have to ever play Dark Souls game again.
Right. I'm this is good.
Right. Give me blood born to though.
And like the feeling of, yeah, I could go for something new.
Got translated to I want the part two of the other new thing.
So when Sekiro got announced originally,
all me and Paige are going, blood born to love words.
Oh, it's Sekiro. Oh, that's cool.
So blood born to though blood born is in a place where I would say
that's a world and setting that deserves more exploration.
Well, guess what?
In my head cannon, Sikiro is blood born to
because there's well, there's there's the tiniest little
but but like all that to say that like it does.
There is definitely a difference that like blows up what I'm talking about
when you're talking about something
that's had a chance to be fully explored versus one, you know,
and or like or like if there's a timeline where you've jumped around to multiple parts
and then created like a comprehensive look like metal gear,
which decides to pull itself all over the timeline
as opposed to something that had one entry, one time.
So you know what? And blood born was one
and let's double make what you're saying about DMC five
and let's compare it to fucking metal gear.
When Metal Gear four came out, I had that exact feeling of like
I can be done with this.
I would be excited for a new game, but I can absolutely be done
with MGS four as the ending, right?
And then we got another one and we got excited.
And boy, I wish that MGS four was the ending.
Right. It would bum me the fuck out
if Devil May Cry six was the Metal Gear solid ground zeroes fucking.
You didn't need to keep going, but you did.
You didn't need it didn't need to exist.
Yeah, it really did. That would be sad.
And it would and it would be extra and it would be extra sad
if you knew that you got something that was like this is fun
and very different and would have been fine
if it weren't called Devil May Cry six.
And someone that sentiment would suck someone in the chat
just fixed the problem and said, but rising was sick, though.
Yeah, it was.
And so let's get our goddamn ladies of Devil May Cry spinoff game
that doesn't need to have fuck to do with shit.
Just go elsewhere and right.
Yeah, I agree.
Spinoffs are not necessary spirit.
Spinoffs are not the same as the sequels, you know, you can go elsewhere.
Yeah. And still explore.
And I completely agree with that.
Also, Devil Dragons Dogma two is absolutely assuredly the next game
that it's, you know, sound and the team are working on.
I put this together and the main piece of information I have is that when he asked,
hey, when I when they gave me everything that I wanted to Capcom,
I said we could do Dragon's Dogma two or DMC five.
And I felt we should do DMC five first is the statement.
And the other thing is I was baffled
by the Dragon's Dogma announcement of an anime
unless there's a game to go along with it.
Because that game is a weird, obscure,
didn't really sell that much fucking game that was a massive commercial
failure for for Capcom that released last generation.
Making an anime out of that, as opposed to all of their other properties,
seems ridiculous.
Unless they're planning for it to also exist alongside a new game.
Let's add this conversation with me grabbing my Yamato in the corner over there.
Yeah. And slicing open a portal.
And I want you to look inside this portal.
What's in that portal? Is there news in there?
What you're seeing is a world, a reality in which the latest chapter
of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure came out.
It's chapter four thousand and Jonathan is still chasing Dio.
He's went on our huge, huge side quest to help out some friends
because some aliens came and they're weird like pillermen
that were not involved at all.
But we don't know what their deal is.
But the pillermen were actually just a side distraction
because Jonathan really still has to go fight Dio.
And and then, you know, like some weird Egypt stuff happened and what.
But really, he's just chasing Dio, though.
OK. And chapter four thousand is him still trying to go there.
Oh, you mean like this week for real?
Berserk puts out a new chapter that's for the Farnese and Shirk show again.
It's been 30 years for me.
By the way, Farnese is my favorite character in Berserk.
By far, I fucking think Farnese is the best.
I'd be cool with having it be the Farnese show.
I think she's the shit.
But tell me, tell me again how scared you are for things to end.
But hold the hold the energy.
Keep that same energy.
But about it.
But like think about chapter four thousand of JoJo.
It's not a fan of blood.
It's think about it and tell me you still want this world.
I can't. OK. I can't. OK.
I can't. Does someone understand me for a second?
Versus what we have now.
And you know, it's funny because they don't understand how good
steel ball run is. No, I don't.
But that you know, it's funny to me.
Fuck that there is the opposite of this.
And it is things that are not as narratively important, right?
So you know what's exciting to me?
Breath of the Wild comes out and it's like
Ganon is now a natural disaster.
Yes. And is forever. Yes.
Got to go get him. And I'm like, good.
I'm going to go put him back in the hole again.
Fuck Ganon, right?
I feel a sense of nostalgia all the way from being a child of, hey,
fuck Ganon.
However, there's only only so many times I can fight Virgil.
Yeah, there's really only so many times.
Yeah. And there's only so many times revolver
Ocelot can be a dick to me. Absolutely.
You know why? Because they're characters or even that they're people.
The game in air quotes is not a character.
He's a he's a fucking myth. OK.
He's like, you know what I mean?
He's like a myth figure.
Ridley even in fucking Metroid is not a character.
It's a fucking space dragon. That's always a problem.
The desire to keep things vague in a place where you can build off of them
is very powerful.
It's it's something that, in some cases, has to exist in a franchise.
And I want to call your attention to Mario Odyssey and the secret
promise that's not so secret slash like the carrot on the stick that is,
oh, my God, are they getting married?
Yeah. Will Mario marry Peach?
Is this going down? Are we getting a change?
Really? And then she's like, no, fuck y'all.
No, fuck y'all. Y'all are fuck boys.
I'm going to get my thing on without you.
Right. Bye. And that's hilarious.
Right. That is hilarious.
However, let's not pretend that the carrot on the stick was not
the thought of progress happen. Oh, yeah.
And ultimately, the decision to every single legend of Zelda game
is is this going to be the one where we finally actually kill Ganon?
No. Deep down forever.
But deep down the thought that they might get married
at the end of Odyssey kept you going because it's what you wanted.
And you know you wanted it. Oh, wow.
Mario Junior.
I don't know.
Maybe it's just me, but I know it's not.
If you're if you freak out about the Devil May Cry series ending on on principle,
tell me how excited you are for Griffith to never get it
because he's never going to get it because the mirror is going to die.
Steel Ball Run was only as good as it was, and it would not be possible
if we did not hit the end six times before we got there. Yeah.
That's all I'm going to say. Yeah.
Oh, if we didn't hit the end six times prior,
that fucking manga wouldn't have the power it does to be the best part.
Also, just a little bit of a topic, but not really.
So remember, I never got that far reading part five.
Glad to see weird shit like in the JoJo universe,
the Spice Girls are canonically a better band or musical act than notorious B.I.G.
That's just confirmed.
Oh, is that what decides things now? Sure.
The winner in the stand battle is the best band.
That's OK. That's so OK.
Hold on. So what you're saying is if we actually go back and grab
you can get you can get the Iraqi ban tier list. Wow.
And then we don't have to go on Justin Wong's.
Oh, Justin. Oh, no.
You have the worst opinions.
Holy shit.
Oh, man, I was wondering if we
could get the fucking Justin Wong.
You don't even have to. Oh, my God, it's so bad.
It's so bad.
That's the that's really I've never seen something
that no one asked for, less be more terrible.
Oh, fuck, that's really like just an apropos of nothing.
No, because he's been doing because he did the the restaurants one
and it's just a tearmaker, you know, and I didn't see the restaurant.
And like the FTC, like tons of people have been posting
like their taste list and their, you know, that cartoon list and so on.
And the tearmaker has been getting a workout
across the family guy in a tier.
And it's been getting a workout.
Holy shit.
Anyway, the Iraqi tier list based on who wins the fights.
That's pretty funny. Yeah.
What's what's the best band in the world?
I don't know. But number two is King Crimson.
Man, that's a good album.
Red Hot Chili Peppers is pretty good, but it's not as good as.
But what happens when it's a combination of multiple names together?
They're all really good, right?
What happens when, like the thing is called made in heaven,
but the name of the chapter is stairway to heaven.
It's really good. Oh, man, it's super good.
So, but I really didn't know what Trisha's order, order was.
That's great.
That is very. I haven't.
So I didn't watch this week's.
It's want to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
And really? I mean, so it's so silly.
So this part is like it's a super fun because like everyone's getting one.
Yeah. You know, it's more than just door.
Like, you know, and like, like I said, I love the Arrivedoci,
but like Narancia gets his and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, man.
Spicy lady is here to destroy notorious chase.
So that's what's extra.
So you didn't catch this week.
I didn't catch this week, but I did have the moment
where the name of the episode popped up and it said spicy lady.
And I was talking to stuff about like the previous one of notorious chase
and all that and how like I'm like, oh, yeah, this is the first like hip hop one
that's come in and like some of the references get a little bit more
contemporary from here on. Yeah.
And it's like and then spicy lady popped up and I'm like, there you go.
And she's like, I don't get it.
And I'm like, oh, come on. Yeah.
And I sat there and I fucking stared and I'm like, please, please don't tell me.
And she's like, I don't.
And it took way too long.
Hey, it took way too long to decipher the fucking Da Vinci code
that was spicy lady.
So the wildest thing because we make fun of the JoJo anime
for its naming crap because it's fucking crap.
But the anime took it to the fucking next level in weirdness
in that the narrator is saying notorious big.
First of all, the voice actors are saying it.
Notorious big, not B.I.G.
Always big, which is weird because they've done it correctly in the past,
right? But also the actual text
on the on the edited.
The writing, yes, is notorious chase.
They edited the writing in the thing, not just the subtitle, but not the voices.
Yeah. Oh, my God. It's stupid.
And sometimes you get really lucky where you can say my stand crush
will get you and and some of those those just get and then the voice actors
gets to say crash right.
And then you're like, oh, yeah, you know, you don't have to say crash 40.
It's not no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's not.
Oh, what was it?
So because the way L's and R's work and A's and U's occasionally
in vowels in general, don't you dare tell me it's clash.
It's the clash, man.
Fuck off.
That's terrible.
That's so bad.
Crush was not crush 40.
Oh, I thought it was crush 40.
Crush was the clash, dude.
That's so bad.
And you get to get away with it because the words and letters are so close.
Crush. That's stupid.
It can go either way.
That's fucking stupid.
It was totally the clash, man. Oh, man.
I thought it was great. I thought it was great.
Yeah, I really like I saw somebody's post, which was the end of that episode
where Narancia beats those guys.
And it's just like, what is this fucking look like?
From the people around them.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, who knows?
Like it's it's very rare that Jojo battles are fought in big public spaces.
Yeah, but like they're in a crowd and one guy is just exploding blood.
And another guy is just screaming at like, I mean, we've seen someone
drinking a drink and suddenly a fucking cat leg appears in it.
So yeah. Well, yeah.
Shit's gotten weird.
Why would it be some fucking sonic bad?
Why would Eric be big up?
Because it's a crash.
It's a sonic band.
Why would I assume that in the world?
Ah, ah, that's stupid.
I hate that.
I mean, I'd love to see maniac agenda get upstand in part eight or nine,
but it's just not going to happen.
Oh, man, we're not there yet.
Like the fucking video game bands are not anyway.
Uh, anyway, you're right.
Jojo's fucking stupid.
I love Jojo.
I'm going to keep this one quicker, but we didn't get to touch on it.
I watched us.
Yeah. Did you watch us?
I don't know. OK.
Should I go watch us?
Did you you've seen get out? No.
You got the ending spoiled for me.
And I was like, it doesn't matter. OK.
Worth it. All right.
You should still watch to get out.
I'll grab it on Netflix.
Then watch us.
But it's not the same.
And it's not like any.
I can tell it's obviously very different.
Very different. Yeah.
Us is good. Yeah.
Us is not as good as get out. OK.
Maybe part of that is based on going in to get out,
not having any idea what to expect and getting something completely different
versus us going in, expecting something on the same and then not getting quite that.
And I blame perhaps my own expectations.
Oh, man. But it is a pretty good horror movie.
I think the it proposes some sort of it
proposes some weird things that are like the literal events occurring
are clear enough and entertaining enough that you're following along.
And you're like, great. Sure.
But the subtext is not clear.
OK. And there's and there's that overwhelming feeling
that it's like you are making commentary on a bunch of things right now.
And I'm only picking up clear enough for me to actually pick them up.
I'm picking up about half of it. That's weird. Yeah.
I'm picking up and like it's and going and watching other people's
like videos and stuff afterwards is like, OK, I can see that possibility as well.
There's something to be said for clarity of themes,
because you can make fun of Metal Gear Solid one, for example.
And the way it's ridiculously narrated, right? Yeah.
But you get a real clear image.
Nuclear armament is bad.
War is bad.
These are bad to do.
No, there's absolutely no like wondering about that.
Yeah. Memes will destroy society.
Echo chambers are bad.
Yeah. Yeah.
The the circumstances of your life will define you as a person,
but you don't have to be a slave to them.
Well, you know, like, et cetera, right?
Right. It like very clear.
In us's case, you the events play out and they are what they are.
And then again, the horror movie taking place on the surface is pretty good.
Yeah.
The subtext of what's being like told beneath the surface is
interesting for what you can pick up and there's some and what you can pick up.
You're going, OK, I can.
Yeah, I can see some stuff there.
And there's some stuff that's very relatable.
Yeah. Right.
I, too, have been attacked by my shadow self.
I mean, there's that.
There's there's in particular, there's a lot of interesting things
with the characters as these like.
Um, the characters are interesting in a in a personal way,
because the whole family, like you you get a bit of the vibe from the trailer,
but they're not, but you don't you don't get a full on thing.
And this is not really a spoiler because it's just like it's just who the characters are.
But they're like they're a black family that's quote unquote, not black enough.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
And you can probably imagine that being something that is a challenge
for the the characters in some ways based on the way society perceives,
because if you're supposed to be performatively black, then hey, sorry,
you don't sound like woolly does.
And unfortunately, that's just going to be the weird thing about it.
What do you mean?
I don't know. I'm Canadian.
But the other part about being Canadian outside,
the other part about being Canadian that made this weird is that there's things
in the subtext such as like there's like there's there's like, for example,
something called hands across America was like a thing that happened in America
that the fuck is that?
Yeah, exactly. Right.
And it was it was a charity thing that happened back in the past.
And it I'm on my phone and be like, what the fuck is hands across America?
Yeah. And it was it was an event that took place where a bunch of people
were basically like going to donate money for like poverty to fight poverty
and hold hands for a day.
It clearly has to do with the poverty.
Well, so my point remains is that that's a very specific American thing
that is one of those things that is like, oh, that matters very much
the people who know what this is.
And the further you get away from America, the more we have no idea
what the fuck you're talking about.
I had a I had a situation in a stream somewhat recently
where somebody started to talk to me about a region east of Mississippi.
And I forgot that Mississippi was a river.
OK. I thought it was a city.
Right. And thus was extraordinarily confused.
OK. Because I don't live in that fucking country.
Yeah. I don't want to fucking talking about.
So this one is so so so, you know, there's definitely a like get out
is fantastic and is like very much a story of a lot of American things.
And this is also a story of a lot of American things.
But the American things in this particular case are way more specific
than they were prior. Yeah.
So there's miscible bits if you weren't American in this place
at this time in the past enough to get it.
So I want to point out in terms of subtext that to the audio listeners
at home listening to this in post, I'm going to narrate a social situation
that just occurred.
I made my point about how I did not know that Mississippi was a river
for a moment, but then I remembered.
But also it's a state, right?
Our live chat is going absolutely insane.
How could you not know that?
That's so obvious.
Mother fuckers, tell me what province Saskatoon is in.
Hey, what? What is Labrador?
What? What? What is it? What is it?
Just just I'll be real.
I don't really know.
Is is it is it is it an island?
Is it a part of Quebec?
Is it a weird satellite of Newfoundland? Yeah.
Yeah, dude, you know, you can't.
I got it. You can't.
It's very easy to be incredulous about things that are outside your own experience.
You know, you know what?
Because there's Americans that don't get this.
It's a dog.
It's a dog. It's a dog.
But Americans tend to do this and it's really funny, right?
Because they assume that everybody knows everything about America.
And to Americans that don't understand what I'm saying,
I can microcosm that and point at fucking New Yorkers.
OK, and I was playing fucking Spider-Man on stream.
There were people telling me to go down a fucking Broadway and fucking
whatever to see where Doctor Strange lives.
Right. And I go, where the fuck is that?
And they go, it's at the end of fucking this street and this street.
Obviously, I'm like, why the fuck do you think I know where a street
in New York is just because you live in New York? Yes, yes.
You dumb motherfucker.
And it certainly doesn't help that it also is considered the capital of the world.
Oh, God, everything New York's so poor.
Don't drop those pizzas.
Oh, my God, dude.
And I mean, not to go on, not to go on the fucking anti-American hour,
but there is definitely the part of it where it's like,
if you're going to know something about a country that's not yours,
it's probably going to be about America.
Yeah, of course.
But there has to be something to there is something to be said.
Or when you're we have a weird place of being outside of that,
there is a lot of things you know that are common,
that are not that are not actually common when you're not in that country.
Yeah, you know.
Yeah, so I do.
I use the vending machine this weekend.
Yeah. And I put in the bills
and I got back a bunch of American dollar coins.
And I was like, oh, they have loonies now. What really?
There's American loonies now.
What did you guys get loonies?
A dollar coins, I guess, because there's no loon on them.
America has loonies now.
And I was and I was like, this is a new development.
I remember listening.
And then I got two shiny ones and an old looking one.
And I go, oh, it must have been a long time ago. Yeah.
I remember listening to the fucking arrow pointing down podcast
and being like, what the fuck is a bodega?
Right, right, right. Yeah, it's the fuck is that?
It's Kyo Kusanagi's quarter circle forward punch move. Right.
The body. Yeah.
The the the it's people are going forever.
They've had the coins forever, right?
So, hey, all everyone in the chat right now that's writing.
We've had these coins forever.
Guess what?
You come to visit America, right?
You buy things, get you buy things or whatever.
Guess what? Everyone hands you exclusively.
Yeah. Dollar bills.
Yeah, at no point ever.
Have I've never even heard mention of such this thing ever?
I want to say ever in the last 10 years
that this coin has existed American coin on a fucking.
Have I been handed a gold looney coin?
That is a worth the dollar, right?
So the thing that you're like, but this is everyone would know.
No, I got one for you.
I got another one for you.
OK, I started talking shit about the American penny
because pennies are fucking stupid.
They're a waste of time.
And I got comments back of like,
why you got to do Lincoln like that?
And I go, what the fuck does link?
Oh, it's Lincoln on the penny.
Is he on the penny?
Like, why wouldn't you?
Why would I know what's on the your fucking?
I know. I know Benjamin's 100
because there's a song about it. Yeah.
What's on the quarter?
The Queen of the caribou.
Did you know that? No, of course you didn't.
Yeah. Who's on our 20?
Go Americans.
Who's on our 20?
Who's on the Canadian 20?
And what color is it?
Yeah. All right.
Are you our new Canadian money is vertical?
What do you mean is vertical?
Are our new bills in Canada?
The art is printed vertically as in sideways.
So you hold the bill up and the art is printed
like a lengthwise rectangle with the short point facing up and down.
Yeah, the new bills like newer than this, newer than that.
Oh, I haven't seen those yet.
Yeah, yeah, we got brand brand new bills
where the art is printed going lengthwise.
That's fucking weird.
It's cool, though.
Yeah, I guess handling because that's how you handle bills
when they're in your hand, right?
You pull out a lot of bills.
You're not holding them like you're right.
Like a check. You're totally right.
You're holding them vertically anyway.
Yeah. So the printing going vertically
makes so much more sense.
It's really interesting.
Also, Americans like to make fun of our money
because it looks fake.
Their money fucking feels fake.
It does.
But they do get the last word every time by going,
yeah, but we're more important.
Why do we have to know about your shit?
And it's like, yeah, I guess.
I guess that's true.
I guess you beat us there.
You are more important, you know,
I fucking love making fun of Americans.
They're like your weird cousin.
It's they do so much weird shit.
Yeah, they're so fucking goofy.
But you don't have the moment
and you're totally compatible and fine
until you go watch a movie where a big where it just expects you to know
a big deal is this one thing that happened in this one place
that clearly meant nothing to anyone that wasn't there.
So what you're saying is that it's like a big plot point
of a fucking Canadian movie
would be the fucking War Amps commercials with ASTAR.
You know, they literally the OK, so how about this?
And let's let's make it even.
Let's get more Canadian.
I was going to say that was a conservative commercial,
but I'm going to the Tories.
Yeah, the Tories. The Tories.
You ran into the Tories with Preston Manning.
They ran an ad attacking.
Christian. No, no, no, no, no, no.
OK, so that was fucking.
That was a shit show. Yeah. Oh, God.
Like, oh, because you can't like, come on, you don't do that.
Don't be tasteless. That was that was tasteless.
Yeah, everybody was like, what the fuck are you doing?
Yeah, yeah, no, they that was the Tories.
No, no, no, the Tories didn't exist at the Tories recently.
You ran an ad attacking our prettiest of pretty boy
prime ministers over like the scandal with the the the the the fucking
nepotism shit and the contracts.
Yeah, contracts and fucking liberal party loves their contracts out there.
And and what they did was they they framed it as a part of our heritage.
Shut the fuck up.
And they that's hilarious.
And they threw the borders around it.
That's really that's like a fucking 12 on 10.
Right. That's really funny.
That's the best shit ever, right?
Guess what? Because it is.
Guess what? It is.
Wait for chat reaction.
Yeah, they're going to be like, what borders?
Question. What? Huh? OK.
What? I don't get it.
What are you talking? What? Yeah.
Yeah, it's hilarious. It's hilarious.
It's super good.
That's really funny.
Yeah, fucking clap.
Yeah, good job.
But that's really what I'm.
But that's what it's like, you know,
you guys are missing out on some Canadian gold by not knowing about what just happened.
That's who cares.
Well, I went to watch a movie and a plot point was about a thing
that was really specific.
Yeah, I kind of missed out on the point we're making here.
I looked it up afterwards.
We're engaging in some friendly ribbing of our southern neighbors.
Of course, because it's fun.
Yeah. And my house, my house is this a lot.
This, like me and Paige just constantly like, why do you do?
But that's stupid.
No, that is stupid.
That is stupid here or there or whatever.
It's fucking hilarious.
Americans are so weird.
You're a weird, silly people.
I think while I think as I'm getting older and going to visit,
I'm scraping more and more up against things that are like,
wait, why is life like this here?
Why do you do like that?
And I don't. And I think it's like part of it is because I'm going there
more often for work.
Part of it is because I'm getting more set in my old man ways a little bit
as a Canadian brain person and I'm really hitting into these walls going.
But why? But why does it do like this?
And it's more and the reaction is often like, but what else there?
Why would you do it?
Otherwise? And there are always these minor little things
that don't matter for shit. Yeah.
Like for me, I'm like, why is my waiter talking to me?
No, are they being my friend?
Oh, that's fine. That's great.
That's not a problem for me. No, it's not a problem, but it's different.
Yeah. No, the real issue is why is splitting the bill a problem?
We've been over this problem in America.
It is. Why? A lot of places, they don't want to do it
because it's too much trouble, but it's like it's like a math.
It's like a second machine.
It would be a lot easier if you guys, I don't sorry.
Like, would you mind like I just that sounds like a racket?
I mean, we could we could, you know, OK, it's fine. It's fine.
It's fine. Just give me a give me a minute.
I'll be back and I'll split the bill. OK. Yeah.
All right. That's and it and it and it and it's sometimes it's weird to me
out when I go to the States as opposed to being default.
I'm like, hey, man, I'd like to pay credit.
And he's like, OK, cool, give me your card.
I'll leave with it. I'm like, why? Yeah.
Just bring the robot to me. That's wrong.
Well, you know, it's not. Ask any of the other guys about this.
We've all experienced it.
Literally, it's like here's the difference, right?
It doesn't always happen in America, but it happens sometimes, right?
Often enough that it's noticed.
It never happens here.
By default in Canada, you get multiple.
You get four bills for four people sitting down by default without asking.
You want so you're you literally are not correct.
You want a highly specific example for people not from Montreal?
Sure.
Go to breakfast.
There's hair in Page's eggs.
There's fucking hair in it, right?
But oh, my God, I'm like, don't send that back.
She's like, why there's you don't send food back.
Montrealers do not send food back.
Food does not go back ever.
But apparently in the rest of the world,
food goes back if there's something wrong with it.
I've never really I've never really I've never sent anything back like that.
But I also have you ever, ever for any reason told the ship,
oh, you know, I didn't really like this.
Can I get something different?
No, I've only gotten the wrong thing and said, sorry, you got me the wrong thing.
Or I've gotten like miss something missing.
Yeah, right. It's like, oh, could you get that for me?
Yeah, right.
But like the idea of like sending the food back,
like this food is not good or there's something wrong with this food.
Please. No, I've never counted that.
You sit there and you eat it.
Apparently people also don't queue up for buses anywhere else.
You know the bus line?
Apparently that's a weird thing,
almost entirely specific to our region of the world.
People just crowd around the shit like animals.
Um, there was.
You know what? No, hold on.
I'm remembering times when I would order
like a Caesar salad before I was allowed to eat bacon
and they put the bacon bits on it. Yeah.
And I'd be like, sorry, I can't eat this.
Yeah. And then I'd have to get a salad without.
Yeah, you know what?
I did see a situation like that.
We went to we went to fucking Van Roy's downtown.
You know, you know, Van Roy's is really good pork chops there.
Buddy of mine, I had two friends that were there.
Ironically enough, the two Asian people in the group
deathly allergic to all seafood, they will die.
They will fucking die, right?
Brings it out fucking fish and shrimp and shit over every plate.
And you told them and we're like, no seafood.
So, you know, it's not it doesn't, you know, it's good.
It's like, no, dude.
This bitch will die if she touches that shrimp.
But it's good, though.
Yeah. And I'm not talking language barrier.
Yeah, I'm talking like, no, no, it's fine.
What are you doing?
Like, no, they my friends will die, motherfucker.
We have to. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's a weird one.
And that is weird.
Yeah. So anyway, us is good.
You should check it out. Yeah.
But you expect to be confused by some things.
If you're not from if you don't know that hands across America
and some other stuff.
Does that go hands across America?
I don't know.
I think I might have seen it in a forest gump once.
I don't know.
Is that what Simpsons is making fun of?
Maybe. Maybe. I don't know.
I don't fucking know.
It's a it's an American event that took place in 86.
That was a charity event that didn't work or something.
Anyway, looking it up afterwards,
it made a bit more sense because someone explained it to me.
That's weird.
But it was definitely like, all right, all right.
You know, sure, sure.
But that is to say, and this is very important to underline
things with that, like there is absolutely nothing wrong
with making a local experience.
Oh, totally. Story.
But I I'm just I'm just thinking about what if there was
a new a new movie starring Patrick Hual speaking English
that took place during Fate Nationale?
Sure. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How applicable is that?
Oh, yeah, it's a bunch of you know, what?
Was it Fate Nationale or is it Saint-Jean-Baptiste?
Bonfait Saint-Jean.
Well, no, it was Bonfait.
Figure it out, you know.
That's what you're talking to.
Yeah, you get that fucking bun on mascot up in the movie somewhere.
I don't know. But but yeah, the point is, you know, no, it's super,
super, duper like great even sometimes to tell a very specific
story about a very specific place with very specific things.
But it like just depends on I feel like your impact is related
to whether or not you have previous information like for this is an example
that I think there's depth I can knowing that some of the songs
in the soundtrack are all related to Compton, for example.
So the one that I think of is True Detective Season One,
which takes place in a region of the world that I didn't know existed,
which was the swampy shit land of Louisiana.
OK, not that Louisiana in its entirety is a swampy shit land.
But I'm talking about the fucking those places.
Yeah, I didn't know that shit existed.
OK, yeah, that shit seems like it sucks.
Meanwhile, there's a film that takes place in Bruges.
Yeah, it's a little call.
And it's called in Bruges because it's like we're in fucking Bruges
or whatever you call it.
Farrell goes off on and it's like we're in this weird little place
with this weird little quirky story happening.
Very odd part of Brussels.
Yeah, you know what the weirdest part about Fargo is?
Fargo, it takes place in Fargo,
which is probably the closest you're going to get to Canada in the US.
Not to say that everything has to be understandable on the on the on the
macro level at all at all. Not what I want to say.
I honestly kind of find this whole thing fun.
It is. It is. Go watch us.
We should. Yeah, talk about.
Also, go watch Woolly over at twitch.tv slash Woolly versus.
Why, thank you. Yes.
And YouTube dot com slash Woolly versus slash C slash Woolly versus.
Oh, we got to do that shit still.
Yeah, I mean, quite frankly, you use a search bar.
You'll find it.
If you type Woolly into a search bar on YouTube and Twitch, you'll find me.
I am continuing to play.
Judges, bizarre adventure, seven stand user.
I'm continuing the really, really hype play through of wonderful one on one.
Yeah, right now.
And on Twitch, I haven't been there in a second
because I've been super occupied with the travel and stuff, but we'll be back
with more fighting games and we'll be back with more LP stuff.
And we got to pick up on Resident Evil 2 at some point at some point.
And I know that I've seen a lot of people
bustling about it, especially like in the discordant stuff, going like,
oh, my God, by the time Woolly gets back to Resident Evil, you need to replay up
to where you are. Well, guess what?
I'm going to fucking grab the game and play.
Like, obviously, I have to go warm up, right?
Obviously, if I just grabbed it and started streaming, it would be a nightmare.
Oh, boy. So, yes.
Can you survive this nightmare?
But the problem is I'm going to have the problem is like that's
a lot of the other games I'm doing as well require this off time play.
You know what? You know what I did a few weeks ago?
I was telling the story about how I quit my job.
And without thinking, I told parts of the story in French
because they were the parts of the story that happened in French.
People were very confused, very, very confused.
Did you forget?
While you were talking. Yeah.
OK. I was talking about I spoke to the rain.
I was like, I don't need to talk to people.
I don't want to talk to people, right?
And I just because that's how that story had happened.
Yeah. And I forgot. Oh, right.
Not everyone in my immediate fucking vicinity can speak the language that I'm speaking.
Yeah.
And when we go down to the states, it's like having a fucking superpower.
You know, we'll be there.
Got so nice.
There's a bit I wanted to do,
but I couldn't do it because, unfortunately, like too rusty.
Well, OK, so I was I was I was
Ubering somewhere and I was pulling up and right over up on Sherbrooke.
Yeah. Right before right around that to carry zone, there is a
because an area with a store and then and the store is literally gas.
Yeah. Right.
You know, and I was going to like walk in and go like, excuse me,
just for a
because it's going to know that that's a gas coin.
Just it's not a gas.
I was going to say why he said that same magazine.
On a pillow.
It's just a quesadilla and just throw that up on Twitter, right?
And then zoom in on the name just to see what would happen or whatever.
But the place is closed.
It's the business is shut down.
So it's like, fuck, that would have been a great video.
Yeah, but guess Guampleville?
No, me.
I want it.
But I definitely was like, I feel like I want that would have been a fantastic one
to really funny thing is just like when we do the French parts,
like people in the audience who don't speak French are like cheese, right?
But the people who speak French are like, what the fuck is that crap?
They're speaking.
What are these accents?
What are what is this dialect that they don't know?
Yeah, because anyone who's speaking
like he's in does not know that we have quack, but a regular part of our of our
of our for myself.
I have a Montreal Anglophone French accent that's really strong.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's like, quack, is a real sound.
But the lemon is quack, but it's quack.
So Paige Paige is learning French, right?
She's dabbling because of course she is, right?
And she's like, OK, what is what is this?
And I go, why?
She goes, what the fuck is that?
Yeah, I go, it's we, but it's like why it's it's it's we.
But it's why it's why she goes, what?
Yeah, I don't know.
Like, oh, and the other fun thing about French is that, like,
you know how you make a complex language faster?
Just mash the entire sentence into a single spoken word.
I throw some apostrophes in there.
Yeah, fuck it. It's one word now.
Oh, the the the written like texting French.
Quebecois specifically is amazing.
Dude, when I saw fucking kick shows, I was like, whoa, right?
They wrote like K.E.K.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck K.E.K.
C.H.S.E.
All right, OK, we're going to break this down
because this is too obscure.
No one gets this. I know.
But this but this is gas quank.
OK, in a microcosm.
All right, this is the whole thing here right here in French.
You there there is a phrase which is.
Quelker shows
Quelker shows, which means something or somewhere, right?
Something something, right?
And it's it's three words.
Quel Q.U.E.L.
Then space Q.Q.U.E.
Space shows and shows means thing.
Quel is the question.
Ker is a preposition, right?
But in when you speak it, you just think K.E.K. shows, right?
Like it's one word, but it's not.
It's three words. It's a phrase.
And now you're describing.
No one says K.E.K. shows.
No one. Everyone ever.
Speaking loose will be like K.E.K. shows.
K.E.K. shows, why?
And if you're super, why?
K.E.K. show, why?
So they're writing out fucking K.E.K. shows
just to get to K.E.K. shows.
Yeah, and it's hilarious because it's like that's exactly what it sounds like.
Because that's what that's it's now its own phrase is completely separate.
You know, aujourd'hui is the same thing.
Like they fucking, the whole thing just compresses
smash into this fucking weird collection of letters.
And you're like, I don't know if I'm more angry that you did that
or that I know exactly what it's like.
I think the worst one I think is K.E.K. spossed
because it sounds like one big word.
Yeah, that is an entire sentence.
Yeah, that's a whole sentence.
What's going on? Yeah. Yeah.
And yeah, no, sposs. Yeah.
That is surpass, which is it passes or it's happening.
But fuck the vowels, just a sposs.
Yeah, I mean, I remember catching some of that when
my my cousin had a exchange student that was from Japan that was there.
And it was when she was staying at my cousin's place, right?
When I was learning it for the first time and like taking classes.
Yeah. So I decided to practice some, you know,
and just kind of throw some out and just be like, hey,
do you want to do a little language exchange thing?
And she threw out like a sign that out, which is like it was like it's
that was too slow.
It was like I can't do it.
But it was so fast and it sounded like one or two was one syllable.
Sign was all like one thing.
And I was like, oh, that's what it actually sounds like,
depending on who you're speaking to sometimes.
And that's the most it's an issue with a lot of languages
because the way that it is learned on the page or even in spoken
has no bearing on what it is actually spoken like.
And the weird thing is that, you know how,
because we know English and French, when we hear something like Spanish
or another similar language, you can kind of grab a little bit of Spanish and Italian.
I can grab just you grab a little bit of it with what's going on.
Right. So these like before I knew what Puta meant.
Yeah, I kind of knew what it meant.
You kind of knew, because I know what Puta is.
Yeah, right. But and not not puts in.
No, not puts in. Right.
I am being with somebody and they have ordered a Puta at the fucking depth.
That's great. That is not the depth of fucking store.
And I'm like, yes, also depth.
But but so so that thing where you kind of can grasp it
because it gives you a broader view of what like Latin based languages are doing.
Yeah, all the romance languages.
OK, these folks don't have like that.
They don't have this thing.
Yeah, it's English or nothing.
They have dramatic languages.
So it's all gibberish coming out when it's not like.
So like, yeah.
So there's a there's a really, really like you are speaking nonsense noises.
And the people who speak Spanish that feeling coming from us have a similar thing,
except we're doing it with our Quebec shit.
So it's all it's all fucking rumbled up.
You guys got to come visit.
You got all of you.
You all have to come visit.
Well, Montreal is a tourist town and you got to hang out
and you got to see what it's like and you got to hear it on the bus.
See old grandma, my bad.
Pro with her smoke with her purple hair.
And not like my purple hair.
Like she's got the old lady style in purple hair.
You know, I'm on the basis with the cloning.
So why does it fit a man?
No, it's not so.
I have a problem.
Yeah, it's it's a thing.
It's a who it's and like you got to go sit on the metro and you got to hear
just the sounds of the city around you to fucking sounds weird to catch the feel
of what our lives I don't think I can think of any more cognitively dissonant
situation than when we went to Toronto for to play Street Fighter.
Remember that?
OK, I am clearly an anglophone, primarily English speaking
person. My name is Patrick Bois, not Patrick Bois, right?
Go to Toronto.
Well, the fact that it's not is already like weird, right?
Go to go to Toronto, the biggest Canadian city and them
disturbed by English street signs and and ambient English.
Yeah, feels bizarre and uncomfortable even.
Like, well, this isn't what is it?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, come hang out.
Where's JP yelling at somebody down the street?
Come hang out and you you you two will you'll you'll enter as
you'll you think you currently think of us as them them Montrealers living up
in the Queeback. Yeah.
And you're good old goddamn quebs on the go living up in the Queeback.
Yeah. Yeah, we got the king and queen up there, right?
That's how I work.
No, no, sir.
I'm in Washington, DC.
That's at the taxi.
Taxi. Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're we're going to DC and we're like, we're like, yeah, we're from
Montreal, you know, and he's like, oh, that's up in the Queeback, right?
Yo, y'all got the king and queen up there, don't you?
And I was like, yeah, technically, I guess.
Quebecers are traditionally very not big fans of the monarchy thing.
Yeah. But and you and you know, you'll you'll you'll catch the Montréal
and you'll catch the Quebec, you know, that old fucking commercial.
Remember that thing with the Texan guy calling Montreal?
You go is for some fucking phone services.
Bonjour, Montreal.
And then the lady at the end is, oh, hello, sir.
I didn't see that.
Although I just found out apparently there's an official thing
that was put out on Facebook where it's like a French pride kind of like
video that was put out and it's literally someone in French
making fun of people with English accent speaking French.
Come on. And it's like we're doing our best.
And it's like, fuck off.
They're learning there.
So even if it's like, bonjour.
Oui, je parle le français.
Say every say pas vraiment bon.
Mais si tu peux me comprendre.
Wow, you can really turn it on or off.
Je pense que tu peux me A.D.
Communique.
So like, let me let me put every girl, every French girl I've ever known
thought that English dudes speaking French with English accents was cute.
When I hear Page try and speak French or do speak French,
depending on what the mastery is on whatever,
she has the thickest fucking American accent when she speaks French.
And it is adorable.
It's also fucking hilarious, but it's adorable.
And everyone she encounters clearly sees it as adorable
because they're like, oh, the American, oh, it's America.
Oh, America speak the French.
Oh, hey, America, Fred.
Like the funnest part about being English based and like being aware
of the language, the thing there and like watching in a fucking weeb stuff
to be aware of some Japanese and access to as well is knowing that
like the difference between sounding authentic and not is doing the same
voice you'd make like as a joke.
Yeah, except applying it for real.
And it just makes it sound more legit.
Yeah, yeah, that's that's weird.
You know, that's really weird.
It's very weird, right?
But it's literally air conditioner.
It's that. Yeah.
Don't say air conditioner.
Say air conditioner and that will get across.
And it's like, I feel uncomfortable doing that.
But it's how do you say helicopter in Japanese?
I don't know.
And I'm not even going to fucking try helicopter.
Yeah.
Right.
Literally just do it.
Yeah.
No.
You know what the ultimate of this?
Yeah.
You ever see Lifeline?
No.
You know the fucking PS2 game with the microphone?
Yeah.
Turns out you have to do a fucking racist accent to play that game.
Because it.
Oh, my God.
No.
Yeah.
So Lifeline is a game where you're supposed to talk into the microphone
and tell the character, shoot, move, door, blah, right?
Oh, no.
Except it was designed by fucking, I think it's Tecmo Koei.
It was only programmed with a Japanese person speaking the lines in English.
Oh, no.
So when the game came out in here, the game came out here.
Everyone's like, it's fucking unplayable.
Like, you tell them to shoot and it doesn't shoot.
But if you go, shoot to.
Wow.
Shoot.
That's dumb.
Because they never, they were like, oh, it's English.
It'll just work.
What?
It's the same fucking, it's that SNK hubris where you don't get someone to just
check the fucking win quotes.
So there was.
Everyone has to be Terry Bogart.
So there was a guy who was like, hey, let's play this game and let's try and do it with
this accent.
Turns out games pretty good.
Works really well.
Huh.
Oops.
When you do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not doing that.
That's a fucking danger zone.
There's conflations of, of like actors in like J-Drama switching to English temporarily.
Oh, it's good.
It's good.
And impressing the shit out of everyone around them and, or having like all the girls in
the scene just cream themselves.
Yeah.
But the shit they're saying is like the worst shit so bad.
Oh boy.
It's a fun YouTube time.
I feel bad for a Japanese speaker is trying to learn English because they're caught in
a fucked up situation where it's taught everywhere, but no one speaks it.
So how the fuck are you supposed to learn how to fucking speak it?
Right?
You know?
Forced it into natural situations.
Like the reason, the reason why I can speak any French is not because I learned it in
schools because I fucking worked retail.
That's where I learned how to speak most of the French that I speak.
That's why it's so garbage because it's retail French.
Yeah.
I'm not even that lucky.
I just have like fucking French class.
Yeah.
I'd have two years of immersion.
Well, and now you, now you got the, the fiance.
Well, yeah, but we don't speak French.
And she's been, and she's fucking like got the like Ontario shit.
So it's, you know, Ontario slash Acadian, but anything, anything.
But, but, but we, yeah, I had the weird thing where like I had two years of French immersion
where for the first rough, I was learning concepts for the first time in French for a while.
It was, it was very rough and I had to fucking switch out.
So, hey, you want to know that, hey, English school, French school in Quebec is a wild,
wild world, but the wildest is depending on which school you go to, they're going to teach
you a hard shit like fucking math in the language that you actually speak.
Because it's hard.
So.
But when you go to a French school and your Anglophone or Chinese or Spanish or fucking
whatever, good luck learning math in a new language.
So hard cut to me at God knows what age hearing someone make reference to Bedmas.
Bedmas.
Bedmas.
Bedmas.
Bedmas.
The Americans call it.
Pedmas.
Pemdas.
Pemdas.
Yeah.
Right.
For me, it's bedmas.
Okay.
I don't know what the fuck any of that is because for me, it was bomb da.
Bomb da?
B-O-M-D-A-S.
Qu'est-ce que c'est bomb da?
Whatever.
I don't even remember, but it was literally B-O-M-D-A-S to get to your brackets.
Oh, I don't know what the O was for.
Yeah.
But then the M, motivation, and division.
Addition.
Addition.
Yeah, whatever.
And all I ever ended up learning was I remember my French teacher just going like, we say
bomb da, and I had to learn concepts like that for the first time and then come out and
translate them in ways that I never fucking heard.
Yeah.
And it was just busted.
Yeah.
It sucked.
That sucks.
Not to mention the fact that my super not racist, but linguist, it's not a lingua...
Whatever the fuck you...
Yeah, no.
I've actually struggled to figure out a term for this, because occasionally the language
thing here, it absolutely qualifies as racism.
Yeah, absolutely.
You're like, whatever you want to call it, like language elitist or...
I had a whole man start losing his mind at me back at retail, because I asked him if
he wanted...
Because he dropped his fucking gloves, and I gave him his gloves back, and he started
going nuts about how much of a racist I was for talking to him in English in this goddamn
country.
Vive la Nouveau Québec.
And I'm like, okay, come on, man.
I get it all-timer.
Yeah.
And so my French teacher pulled me aside when I said, when I was switching out of immersion
and was just like, deathly fucking upset about the idea of me leaving, because it meant
like they were losing one.
Oh, c'est la mouillée de la langue.
Les Anglophones, c'est ça, on les...
Parasseux.
C'est ça, on les...
Parasseux, les Anglophones.
Tous, les...
Yeah, literally, all English speakers are parasites.
They're lazy parasites.
Don't become an English speaker.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
How about the fact that I'm doing shit in your class because I can't grasp these concepts
in a language I don't fully speak?
I'm still learning it.
Let me go back to where I was, you know?
And it was fucking weird.
Well, you got access to shit on that because since you were black and you might have been
a Grenada first at whatever point, like, you're an immigrant, so you have to speak
French.
No, no, no, I'm not.
I'm born here.
I didn't know.
But to her.
Oh, probably because the rest were.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So the...
Like, anyone who's...
If you're an immigrant and you come to Quebec...
You have to go to French school.
Got it.
You're forced to, right?
Which has the unintended positive side effect of almost every single one of those people
speaking three or more languages.
Yes, because your first language is the language your parents speak.
I got a buddy of mine.
He speaks Russian.
That was his native tongue.
Then you pick up French in elementary school.
And then he watched TV.
And then you make friends in English, so you can become a trilingual.
Exactly.
And a different friend of mine, his girlfriend, she speaks Tagalog.
And then she spoke French and then she spoke English.
So Min is the first language of Vietnamese because that's what his parents speaks.
He went to French school here and then he made English friends.
So Min speaks three languages, right?
His accent is really thick, but motherfucker speaks three languages.
The intended purpose is to not let the language of French die out so you force all the immigrants
to speak it, but then they all just become trilingual and speak English too.
Exactly.
Right?
So that's...
And there's a lot of people here like that.
Yeah.
And yes, the assumption that I'm one of those as well often comes out, but it's like, no,
I was born here.
And I actually have the choice, you know, every dude, every time I go to a government office,
they read my name.
It's like, oh, it's Patrick Boivin, the next one.
That means Patrick Boivin, the next please.
Yeah.
And I go and I sit down.
Okay, Mr. Boivin.
Yes.
Can you help me with this?
Um...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, hey, you're in office.
You're supposed to have...
So usually what I can tell what they do is they have to have people there who speak
English and French and Chinese and Spanish usually.
And they go, oh, it's Patrick Boivin.
I'll just give him to JP.
Yeah.
And I go in and JP's not ready.
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
For sure.
And like, my favorite is they call me on the phone.
They call...
I've gotten phone calls and it's like, hey, how you doing?
And I'm cool.
This is a weird Montreal thing.
I'm cool talking to you in English.
You talk to me in French.
That's how I work.
We'll just do it.
That's my QA days.
Yeah.
We'll just do it.
We'll be done.
No problem.
But when the other person's like not ready for that and they're like very uncomfortable,
it's like, I really...
I'm not equipped to have this style of conversation with you.
Yes.
A hundred percent.
Like, I don't...
Like, you know, when I go to my bank or something, right?
Yeah.
I'm not comfortable enough speaking French to do banking stuff.
Right.
Right.
And so if my bank called me on the phone, it's like, I'm not comfortable enough to speak
in French to do banking stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you just talk to me in French and I'll talk to you in English?
Maybe not.
Actually.
Yeah.
Because you read my name and my name is French as fuck.
When you went...
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
C'est qui la prochaine?
Oh, c'est Wally Maden.
Oui, monsieur.
Comment je peux vous aider?
Pour vous aider.
Excuse-moi.
You gotta get that.
It's difficult.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Hey, how's it going?
Can I get this or that or whatever?
And I have no problem doing the back and forth.
I'm navigating it.
It's fine.
But yeah.
It's a brain shift.
Fuck.
Hold on.
My...
You know what my favorite is?
Get called by a telemarketer.
Yes.
Parler.
Monsieur de maison.
Yeah.
I'm here.
Ah.
Do you speak French?
No.
Yeah.
Okay.
I will call you back, sir.
You have good no call.
Yeah.
No call back.
That's done.
That's done.
That's fine.
Oh, man.
I've made it simple enough to when the Uber pulls up and I simply have the...
Can you push the chair forward?
Pousse la chair, s'il vous plaît?
Yeah.
I'm going to make a sentence and you just do it, please, because I can't do the one
and the other.
Yeah.
And then I'll...
Sometimes it'll be the...
And I'll have to tap it and just be like...
I got knees.
And that's usually you're talking to somebody who's second language as well is French.
So it's like maybe their first language is like whatever, right?
Okay.
This is...
Culture is fun.
Yes, it is.
Can we even get news?
Yeah, let's get some news.
All right.
Wow.
But we will do it.
I hope everybody enjoys culture.
Yeah.
Our differences are silly.
Yeah.
You know, it's fun.
I saw...
You know, so the podcast pacing is wild and different and obviously this is a very different
pacing to...
And whatever we used to do before, because it's just like we just fucking go.
And it's like if it's whatever's interesting and common is a thing.
The news is something we cover and usually do.
And there's a lot of desire to be more news-oriented, get right to the meat of what's happening
at the moment.
And every week we get less news-oriented.
We do.
But I've caught that people on the re-listen are skipping the news as hard as possible
because why would you want to hear that, right?
So I believe the term is evergreen content.
Yes, this is some evergreen shit right here.
Right?
That was three hours and 40 minutes of evergreen content.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Ooh.
Yeah.
That's why I said we got to get a move on.
But, but...
Hey.
Y'all, it's the news desire that you have right now is only right now.
That's right.
And if you...
And if there's ever a re-listen...
We're teaching you folks about the world, the world you don't even know.
This shit that we're about to go into will have no meaning or use whatsoever after this
exact moment right now.
A world in which a cigarette is a goddamn cultural icon.
Luckily, not anymore.
There's a lot of movie news, actually.
But let's just talk about some of the random quick announcements that have dropped.
In particular, a couple of Kickstarter and Kickstarter-y type projects have been announced.
In particular, let's call attention to Devil May Cry, The Bloody Palace.
What the fuck is this?
You heard about this?
What am I looking at?
It was Devil May Cry, The Bloody Palace.
What is it?
This is a board game.
Fucking sick.
Coming out.
This is Steamforged Games announcing the Devil May Cry board game that they're looking
to kickstart shortly.
Mega Man did it, right?
Dark Souls did it.
Dark Souls did it.
More importantly, Angry Joe did it with Street Fighter.
So Capcom has established a successful track record with their board game stuff.
So let's give it a shot here.
Board games are fun.
And all I need to know is whenever you attack something, if you have a D4 to roll to see
what you max-act or exceed, no, it's got to be style, man.
Well, style is just not dropping the combo.
All right.
Yeah, I guess.
Right?
For every hit, you'd have to put down a thing that tells you that your combo meter goes
up.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
But like, did you time it properly?
I just tell me that you got something in there like that and I'm in.
But yeah, it's called Devil May Cry 5, The Bloody Palace is the board game.
Coming soon to Kickstarter.
So that'll pop up shortly.
And that looks like a lot of fun.
For what we can tell, it's a board game with the pieces and the cards and the dice.
So yeah, we'll see what happens.
There's also a huge, huge shout out to.
So we've talked about, we've talked about kill six billion demons in the past.
And how fucking rad that is.
Well,
that is now working on Lancer.
Oh, it's about that fate character.
No, of course, why would it be?
This is a mud and lasers tabletop role playing game, role playing game centered on modular
mechs and the pilots who crew them.
So this popped up on Kickstarter.
It blew past its goals instantly.
What does this have to do with kill six million demons?
It doesn't.
It's a new Mecha tabletop RPG.
Then why did you start talking about kill six billion demons?
Because the guy behind kill six billion demons is also doing.
There you go.
OK, I thought I thought I said that.
I. Yes, did you?
Yes, I'm an asshole is behind that is behind this as well.
And yeah, super happy to see that like it within day one crushed its goals.
It was looking for sixty.
Oh, I'm not crazy.
I'm not an asshole.
I win.
I said a bad in the guy behind kill six billion demons.
Also behind this, you chat.
Why do you do this to me?
Because they're lying and they're wrong.
They're wrong all the time.
Have we not learned this?
But what if they're right?
They're super right all the time.
The only difference is now we're calling it out.
No. So yeah, they got the two hundred and twenty six thousand of the sixty one.
They were asking all that's pretty good.
So they're in pretty good hands.
But if you like what you see here, give it a give it a look.
Um, arts on point, of course.
And, um, yeah, I can tell you that like the strength of kill six billion
demons and it's like peerless worldbuilding.
I will say peerless.
Um, but that's not true because the peer I can think of that's as good as saga.
Uh, because fuck, those are those are those are the best at what they do is
really, really strong and worth your consideration.
So take a look at this Kickstarter.
See if it is your fancy.
And if you like fucking robots and if you like worlds with robots in them that are,
I mean, no one's going to tell you if you like fucking robots.
No one can tell you what to do or what not to do with your robot.
What about the robot?
It's yours. Well, yeah, it depends on its personality.
I guess. Where's that dummy plug going?
Why'd you call it a dummy plug?
Check it out.
They're doing quite well, though.
And that's awesome.
This aren't even robots.
I got linked to another Kickstarter for a project called Hunt the Knight.
This is a being billed as
some folks are saying like Zelda meets Bloodborne with some of it.
It seems to be, well, let's get that out of the way there.
What are you doing seems to be a kind of gothic
Super Nintendo looking thing.
And they're currently at 24 of their 32 K goal.
So they're not too far away.
They got a month to go.
They're in pretty good hands.
The sprite art seems to be pretty on point.
And if we let's see, kind of go through
some of what we're seeing, there's a couple of gifts and whatnot,
kind of showing you what you're what you're sort of doing.
But yeah, seems like a pretty cool setting in world.
And art is on point.
And yeah, this too might be to your possible fancy as well.
So bringing it to attention so that you may look at it
and decide if you would like to support this kind of project.
There we go.
I have done it.
Good job. We've done news.
Those who have linked to me can say that I have done it.
Fucking Mario Odyssey and Breath of the Wild are getting
Labo VR support.
Yeah, I don't know how this works at all.
That's so fucking you put the cardboard on your head
and then you watch the game again, except it tracks to where your movies are.
Seems like the shittiest idea ever.
It's going to be cell phone VR.
It's like the it's the same on a 720p screen.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure up close, it's not going to be fantastic.
That's going to look like shit.
I'm assuming that the little Labo fucking goggle thing
like makes it not hurt your eyes a bit.
No, it's going to hurt your eyes.
No, I'm assuming I'm assuming that's going to magnify it a little bit.
No, also, is this like hold the whole switch on your head
and then put your hands up near your ears to play the game?
No, there's got to be straps on that.
I don't fucking know. That looks like shit.
There's got to be straps on that shit.
But, uh, yeah, it really I'm going to hope that it magnifies it
so that it moves the screen a little bit further away
so that it's not as painful as it looks.
However, it seems like it's just going to be tilt your head around to control the camera.
You got to try it. You got to try it to find out.
I bet you I don't.
I fucking bet you I don't have to try it to know that it's fucking shit.
But we'll see, I guess.
Optimism versus not optimism.
That's the virtual boy.
Oh, would they fuck it up again?
Yes.
And well, yes, they would.
Well, fucking Yosp said he preordered his on Twitter.
Yeah, he has to.
So he's going to find out.
He absolutely has to know more than even us.
If this fails, then they're not going to go back and do this for other games.
But it seems like they're doing it with their two big ones as a trial.
We're talking about a cardboard piece of shit.
Like people did use their phone VR headsets.
It's garbage compared to real VR, because it's one.
It's just because all it becomes is just the the head tracking, right?
It's not at all about the sense of depth.
Also, putting a screen like that close to her eyes, like, dude.
Yeah, unless, unless I don't know for sure.
But maybe because you see how this picture works.
And you know what?
I bet you if we just looked into it and actually tried it, we'd know for sure.
But it looks like because you see there's a screen here, right?
And it's got the two eye holes.
And unless the actual switch screen has a split down the middle
that actually has left eye and right eye.
And then each of these eye holes is only only showing you that part of the screen,
in which case, then you are simulating depth.
I bet it's actually just lenses that are looking at the whole screen.
That's what that's that's what it depends, right?
If it actually isolates two halves of the screen
and it renders twice the same image and then it does left eye, right eye,
then you will actually get a shitty sense of depth.
But whatever, Nintendo's 3D shit is the worst.
It's compared to the real S is fucking compared to the real ones.
It is it is quite bad.
But yes, this 3D shit sometimes makes me want to put on an eye patch.
But if anyone says, Nintendo, why aren't you doing VR?
They can go, we are look, we did it.
We are VR VR more like we are.
That's what I that's the point of why I know,
but I spruced it up a little, the talking dog spruced it up so that I could be like.
Troopers, three, oh, virtual reality.
VR troopers.
No, all right.
Matt would have laughed.
It's fine.
I don't know what the fuck VR troopers.
I know, exactly.
Shit, everything OK over there?
Oh, oh, no, you already cut it.
Don't drop your avocado face down.
Get this. No.
Too late, you already got it. Shit.
Taika, why Titi
confirmed that live action Akira is still in development.
This did not, in fact, go the way of the fucking dinosaur that it should have.
So I went into the Reddit thread on our subreddit about this and formally
apologized to everyone because live action Akira still happened because I think
last week or the week before, I'm like, thank God that fucking live action
Akira is dead. Yeah, well, it's not.
And it appears to be the exact same like like one or version of events.
Leonardo DiCaprio back to Kira.
So I mean, hey, look, Thor Ragnarok was really good.
Right. Right.
But, um, yeah, I am.
I don't have faith continuously in this in this adaptation and offended by the idea
that we need to make localized or non animated versions of movies to make them
legit. Yeah, the Disney shit really grinds my fucking piss.
See the but the but the real the issue is that like when something comes out
and it ends up sucking, then it's like, OK, well, it came out, it sucked,
and we forget about it, ghost in the shell.
But then it comes out and it doesn't suck.
And it's like, hey, that was all right, like Alita.
Yeah. And you go, oh, it's possible if you treat it nicely and delicately.
Akira is not possible.
Akira as a movie, the original was already failing to capture the insanity
of what the actual story and also a huge amount of that things thing is its place
in time and its animation style and its animation techniques.
And it's like, like Akira is a masterpiece because of the amount of
Insanity insane, like art direction and effort put into the animation.
Its actual plot is completely nonsense because you cannot tell that dense
of a story in two hours.
It's not possible. It failed.
Akira, the animation, the original movie fails to deliver its story.
Well, now let's now let's tell that story via a new you have to warp that
failure of a telling into this is insane to me.
But it's like we're doing it anyway, because it's a name that everyone knows.
Let me ask you, folks, that sucks, because it's just it's all on the art.
Do you think 20 years from now, there will be a unique shot in this version
of Akira that is as highly referenced and homage and celebrated as fucking
Kaneda fucking going sideways on that goddamn motorcycle to stop trailing,
trailing brake lights, right?
Simpsons did a fucking couch version of that fucking bit for fuck's sake.
Kanye West uses it in his music video, right?
For real, though, like seeing Beauty and the Beast, like what a fuck it like.
Hey, let's take this immaculately animated classic and let's make it
like this boring looking regular ass movie.
Dude, motherfucker, there are players.
There are art school breakdowns of the Akira poster of him
walking towards it, breaking down how genius the perspective
and art and angles are and how bold and strong that is as a movie poster.
It's awesome, right?
The art design and the art direction and everything
about what that is doing as animation is what makes it relevant and what matters.
It's not the fact that there's a biker named Tetsuo and his friend Kaneda
and that there's a weird alien, a weird babies fucking zombie looking things
and floating kid Akira with his body parts in the jar.
And then the newt goes off.
That's not that's not what matters like.
But hey, man, live action means it's important.
So I just completed the thought in my head as to what this is.
It's been bothering me for years because it's the idea of like, well,
the animated shit, I mean, that's for babies, right?
You got to make a live action for it to be real, right?
And often Hollywood to be real, right?
No one cares until you do.
And I'm like, what is that?
Yeah, I what is that I and I'll tell you what it is.
It's Sony saying we don't want any of that 2D shit on our console
because 2D is the past and that shits for babies.
3D games are the future.
And it took decades to break that.
Um, the yes, it is that it's the same.
It's the same spirit.
The difference is that like live action has always been.
Well, for one, the history of cinema starts with that.
Yeah, right.
And second, all the hit like.
And second, like, and this is the harder part, right?
Pixels and 2D and what not had to start and develop
and become better and better as time went on, right?
Yeah.
The thing that makes the general public
feel more comfortable when they see a face on a poster
is the same thing that makes you feel good when you see a human
acting as a role or whatever is the recognition and the feeling
good of the seeing of the human being is the story I want to tell
is the thing I can care more about versus the animations.
A higher form of media.
I can't relate to the cartoon as much as I can relate to the face
of the thing that's the human that's like me.
Also, it's a face I've seen in other movies before.
So I feel extra good.
It's got to look like me, unless it's Will Smith.
I feel extra good about the face of the human of the thing
that I am telling the story, because it's super like there I am.
It's me.
I'm in the movie.
I feel good.
It could be me there.
That's the only way I can relate if it could be me.
I already, we already told the story in a different way.
No, but now it's the version that I'm in.
Now I care.
It's not some goddamn cartoon horse.
It's a real horse.
I know what a real horse is.
I never slaved in there.
A cartoon horse fucking worked for years to make frame by frame,
like almost rotoscoped animation that will be more effort than you've ever.
It's me, though.
You know what's a good example of this?
I don't know shit about this anime other than it's outro.
There's some fucking school anime with a bunch of kids talking in a room
called Love is War, right?
Some fucking pink haired anime chick or some shit in that, right?
But the outro is a pseudo rotoscoped dance scene of her in an office.
I've seen it.
And it is unbelievable.
It is unbelievable.
And it is way better than a live action person doing that dance.
Well, in this particular case, you can see, I think that it's it's it is
rotoscoped, but it's not entirely rotoscoped.
But certain things were accentuated.
I saw a side by side.
And I assumed it's the original footage that I read an article that they
interviewed with and he exaggerated parts that are seen in rotoscoping.
But that he exaggerated parts that were not it was unbelievable.
It was incredible.
It was right.
But respect for art is not something that is inherently like
understood at a larger level.
And I don't want to do this fucking like I don't want to do this
art hipster bullshit.
Listen, guys, we know what's the arts and I don't.
I really don't know these pepsi.
They're fucking goddamn it's superhero movie.
Wait, no, but it's going to take a real.
But the fact remains that it's going to take a real long time for the same
reason that video games are as not a legitimate medium as books.
Even though in some cases you can have a much more powerful emotional
response to something in a video game because you can interact with it because
it is you and you are doing it yourself.
It is you.
You are the one creating action.
I think I think you have to deal with I think the most intense
like feeling of guilt I've gotten from a medium is like the Walking Dead series
when it's your fault.
Yes, it's your fault.
Made these decisions and you have to now live with them and you feel
the way you do, which is more powerful than someone else living them.
And you pass me really fucked the dog on this one.
Huh? Oh, silly Gatsby.
No, but but it but the point remains is that look, it's older.
Therefore, it's more respected.
Therefore, it's more real, right?
Also, it's this thing again, where it's not at its peak
until it's live action and in a theater, right?
And you no matter how much you can explain a way that that doesn't
make any sense or mean anything, the feeling remains.
I want to fight the movie going public.
You know what I mean?
I wish they could be condensed into a single person
and I could just fucking fight them.
I mean, look, Netflix is doing its thing, right?
It's already taking away the idea of the size of the screen.
Next, you got to work on like the actual filming part of it.
I don't know what to tell you, man.
Like there is more, you know, man, dude, the Bruce Tim.
Fucking Joker with Mark Hamill behind it.
Yeah, is a better actor like in terms of expression.
There is more there than anywhere else, you know, but but but.
You know, you know what?
I can break it down.
I can break it down to a single argument.
And it is within animation communities.
It's people who take fucking screen grabs of smears and go,
look at this crap, look at this shitty animation.
It's like that's a smear.
It's not supposed to be a single image, you stupid fuck.
It's supposed to be an in between fucking frame to create the feeling of motion.
You stupid fucking idiot.
Like, oh, yeah.
No, anytime anytime there's those pictures of like Payne's face
becoming a weird, goofy, like what warble thing.
You're like, yeah, but did you see that it was frame one of twelve hundred?
You're not supposed to be seen in a vacuum out of its own context.
You idiot.
It was conveying motion in a ridiculously effective way.
What do you want me to tell you?
And it worked.
So I feel like people like that.
They want their fucking 3D model style animated shit that looks like crap.
I got it.
I got it.
Didn't I feel like we touched on this before, but it's like the fact
that like certain 3D renders and animate come along and they don't move smoothly.
Oh, it's on Twitter.
It's on Twitter.
Like when you see 3D in anime and it looks choppy, it looks like shit,
because the 3D is trying to emulate the same anime.
But it fucking sucks.
But you're like, you're using a 3D model.
Use the advantages of a fucking 3D model.
Your brain knows because because because when you mix and match them,
there becomes some weirdness to it.
But you can't animate at a really higher frame rate
because that becomes way more hard.
And then you see your budget can handle that clips of that fucking
Steven Universe fucking anime with the Gem Girls and shit.
And that looks great.
That's all 3D.
That looks like a fucking anime.
Excerpt.
Yeah.
And then you look at Excerpt where they're creating smear models,
which are all nightmares, which are all fucked up.
Dude, it really, really like the fact that we have to just pretend
that like these choppy 3D things happening mixed with 2D look good.
And here's a good example.
Look at Spider-Verse.
Well, I was going to go there before I forgot the point,
but that's where I wanted to go was we are going to have
Spider-Verse is the best Spider-Man movie ever.
And guess what?
It's that's going to happen like countless more times.
But it doesn't matter because it's like like Spider-Verse shows you
that you can have a better movie than fucking five failures.
Right? Well, you know who knew this forever.
Homecoming was pretty good.
You know, you know what group of people know this forever is the DC fans.
Yes. Well, yes, because the DC animated movies
crushing are almost all slam dunk and have been crushing it for a while now.
Live features are almost all garbage.
Yeah, but it not.
Apparently Shazam's fun.
But it not being in a theater means one,
less eyeballs to it's not it's known.
There's no actually like the Superman in the DC animated universe.
If you and here's the thing is even if you put like
star power voice acting behind it, right, it's still like not in the same thing.
Oh, man. Right.
And like here's where we got now, though.
We got Pixar movies, right?
Yeah. And we got 3D animation movies where it's for kids.
It's in the theaters. It's big.
It's the frozen. It's the tangled.
Oh, look at that frozen.
It's it's as big as you can fucking get.
Yeah.
Um.
But there's still this need to go back to things
and bring them back and make them live action when it's not necessary.
Yeah. And that's not going to go away.
Here's the thing.
If you're going to remake Aladdin or fucking whatever,
why is it live action and not 3D?
Is it because it's more serious so you can cast people?
I mean, Lion King's doing that.
But you know, Lion King is not.
Oh, I know I you said Lion King and I started to have an argument
that wasn't happening, which was Lion King is not God damn live action.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's reacted.
So we can follow.
We can keep this one going because there's the related one is they
announced the casting for Cowboy Bebop, the live action.
These picks could be way worse.
OK, so here's the thing about this story, right?
One, these are really interesting picks.
They're really interesting.
OK, I did not expect this to go in that direction.
John Cho as Spike.
John Cho was Spike.
But you know what?
I can see John Cho as Spike.
Bushmaster from Luke Cage, Mustafa Shakir is going to be Jet Black.
Yeah.
That's unexpected.
Well, that argument is now finally done is Jet Black.
Yeah, he's black.
Is Barrett Black? Barrett's.
There's black. Yeah.
Well, it's like ridiculously black.
What about Marl?
Anyway, Daniela Pineda as Faye Valentine and Alex Hassel as vicious.
No one announced for Ed.
That's going to be tough.
I don't know why they haven't told us who Ed is going to be yet.
What the fuck?
That's going to tell me what redheaded, short, tan skinned child
you casted as Ed.
I want to know.
Anyway, I like they're CG.
Yeah, it is just a CG blob thing.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's that's the first thing about that is like that's some
interesting casting.
OK, they definitely went for the diversity.
I can't, dude.
I'm super excited to see Ein and it's like a husky.
So.
Could you imagine?
I've already had that spoiled for me because one Austin eruption
owns a dog. Yeah, he does.
Named Ein, that looks exactly like I remember when he mentioned that.
And then I was like, Austin, really?
So I actually literally had that moment already.
Right. You know what I'd be good for if I was a cat.
Oh, fuck. That'd be fucking stupid.
So that's what they did with the casting.
And that's the people are pretty generally going like, whoa, weird.
OK, cool. Yeah. Right.
Spike is what is spike?
His name is German. Yes.
But he's not.
And he's a skinny guy with fuzzy hair.
Big hair.
He's not. He's kind of vague.
He could be a bunch of Asian or both.
And we're in the wind and Bebop takes place in like the post China.
Is he Jewish? He could be Jewish.
He could be Jewish.
I don't know.
It would make like the big hair would make sense.
It would make sense.
Spiegel. Yeah.
Yeah, German, German, Jewish. Maybe.
Maybe. I don't know. Right.
But either way,
there is this is what they're doing.
That's all cool. That's all fine and dandy and yay for everyone.
Happy with the casting.
This does not instill the faith in the fact that a cowboy bebop live action
thing is nothing will ever.
And because you need to bring in your and it does not
justify its existence to me at all.
For all like that's cool.
Good job casting.
This might still be a huge steaming turd.
Because I still haven't seen you want to talk about like things
that were animated and took strength from their animation.
Like every part of Bebop is immaculate in its own form.
Like I don't see what you could possibly.
Improve. Right.
Like what is there to.
It's not real until also I recently I recently found out that Bebop.
You know why Bebop fucking exists?
Because one of them is a genius and those guys
fucking tricked Sunrise.
They fucking hosed them.
What'd they do?
They do you remember when cowboy bebop came out?
You know what with the biggest hottest thing at the time?
Fucking phantom menace.
And they said, hey, Sunrise, you want to give us a bunch of money?
We can make a space fiction in Japan and we can piggyback off the fucking
hotness that is the sci fi of the phantom mass.
And we're going to do Japanese Star Wars.
Look at this bebop ship.
Doesn't this look like something out of episode one?
It does, doesn't it?
It looks like a fucking Star Wars ship.
That's funny. And they're like, OK, and then they made some fucking jazz bullshit.
Well, then they handed it to Yoko Kano.
Yeah. Who said, hmm, jazz, interesting.
And then walked into a room and walked out with nine albums worth of jazz
and crushed it and made Harry Greggs and Williams fall in love.
But yeah, no, like the fact that cowboy bebop is a scam
is like a story I just recently learned and just like the Walking Dead.
Actually, that's great. Yeah. Well, really?
Yeah, I told we told you this.
And we told this one already, but it's always fun to tell it again.
Walking Dead originally, whatever, Frank D'Arbonne.
Was or am I getting that wrong? I might be.
But Kirkman Kirkman was like, hey,
yo, I want to tell a story about zombie apocalypse
and a bunch of humans surviving in the interpersonal relationships.
It's going to be pretty good.
And they're like, yeah, OK, but no, because we just who cares?
Right? We've done this movies, whatever, zombies.
And he's like, no, no, no, it's really cool.
It builds up and it like the tension grows
and like the world is actually really building towards
and they're like building towards.
And he's like the reveal that that that the the zombies are not zombies.
There is an alien attack and that these characters are actually prepping for war
with the invasion and the zombie thing is a huge front.
OK, and when the aliens show up, it's going to be nuts.
OK, and they're like, whoa, OK, run it.
OK, that was a big lie.
It's about OK, five volumes later.
Hey, one of those aliens going to there's no way I try to I try to your stupid.
You know, that reminds me of like, and they're like,
here's this fuck you want this money?
You want this money? Shut the fuck up.
So I have the money.
And they're like, that reminds me of two stories.
You. I think we talked about this like two, three years ago,
but you remember the fucking whatever movie Cowboys Aliens Cowboys and Aliens?
Do you remember how that fucking got made?
No. So Guy makes a script for Cowboys and Aliens
and it's dog shit because it's fucking stupid, right?
And he brings it to the movie guys and they go fuck this, right?
And he goes, I got an idea and he commissions a run of a comic
called Cowboys and Aliens and puts it in the limits, limited circulation,
walks in with a comic and says, I have this comic I want to adapt into a movie.
And they go, OK.
And that's how that shit got mad.
That's a fucking hustle.
That's a fucking hustle right there.
And it's amazing how that would have been a death sentence pre MCU.
Right.
Because there was that point when it was like, man, fucking comic book movies
are the worst. And now it's like, oh, they made money.
They're free money. Wow.
Right. That's a fucking hustle.
And the other thing is that I recently, like I said, I was playing the Metro games
and I was reading up on the development of the Metro 2033 novel,
which is a really, really weird writing process in that
the author was by the way, the author wrote it when he was 18.
And it is new. It is like 2003.
It's a lot newer than I thought it was, right?
So he writes it and he's shipping it around to publishers.
Right. You know, book people fuck this stupid Metro bullshit.
This sucks. Right. OK.
So what he starts doing is he starts putting a chapter of the book
at a time up on his like fucking bullshit Russian GeoCities website.
And like five, six thousand people are reading it a day and going,
hey, you should edit this part.
And it's like a mass communal, like wiki style editing thing.
Yeah. And then he tweaks it.
He tweaks it there. He tweaks it there.
And then he gets all the way to the end and he saves the last chapter.
And then he goes back to the publishing companies and goes,
I have this big fucking story that hundreds of thousands of people
are reading online, blah, blah, blah, it's built up.
And people are now fighting over the book rights
for what is essentially only the last chapter of the book.
And that's how he got it published.
Whoa, that's weird.
And that's why that young dude who's now like 30, he's our age.
That's why that quote about him ripping the fucking
Witcher author makes way more sense, because his book is new media.
It is a crowd crowdsourced crowd source edited fucking thing.
Whoa.
That's a fucking and that's why he was so eager to give it to the 4a guys
and build that with them, because he's also a gamer, because he's
like 30 something, you know, crowd written storytelling.
No, it wasn't crowd written. It was crowd edited.
Crowd edited. Very important to make that distinction.
Yes. OK. OK.
Yeah, because it may it's a difference between like taking other people's shit.
And if I remember correctly, he lets you have the license for free.
If you want to write a metro novel. OK.
But you have to live in a big city and it has to be about your metro.
OK. So if I wanted to write a metro novel,
I could use the metro license as long as it was about Montreal's underground
city metro. Interesting.
Specific. Yes.
Because I believe he was a employee of the metro system. Wow.
OK. That's very cool.
Or he wrote it all the time. That's very cool.
But he was he was intimately familiar with the Russian metro system.
Fallout should have done that.
Yeah, it should have.
So also the Montreal metro system would make for a very dull post apocalypse
because the underground city is like lavish and enormous.
And you could live in there. No problem. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We'd be fine.
There's there's apartment buildings connected to the fuck.
Yeah, we could lock out in the outside world, no problem.
Yeah.
So speaking of comic book movies, though,
those who are looking to see the X-Men show up in the MCU.
Arc two, whatever you want to call it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Era two can probably hold on because
Kevin Feige says it's going to be a very long time
before we see the X-Men in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Basically, the short of it is like,
yay, we're happy they're home, but them getting here now means
we have to plan a 10 year plan to integrate them.
And we've already done the five year plan that's in motion as we speak.
And people's response is if I'm going to be ruled over
by a fucking corporate entertainment monopoly,
the best you can do is give me my fucking X-Men.
So one thing I'm happy about when the moon and it all comes together.
Yeah. But no, the idea is like this thing happened
well along after the plan was in place
and they're rolling it out as we speak.
So X-Men will show up, but it's not going to be for a while because, you know,
jokes on you, Wolverine's going to kill Thanos.
Or whatever the fuck, oh, far from home is going to be. Yeah.
Yeah. So that's where they're at.
We've got what else we got?
What else we got?
We got this fucking random piece of animation, weird news that popped up today
as well, a crossover animation movie project
between Gurren Lagann and Darling in the Franks.
Suck off. I know.
The teams. That's all I have to say.
They've got the people behind them because it's, you know, the same folks
worked on both and basically we're talking about the idea of collaborating
with the two and seeing how, you know, worlds could collide
and Trigger is having a bit of a hard time
with Darling in the Franks in terms of DVD sale.
What? Really? Wow.
And Gridman is currently struggling as well,
unfortunately, and Gainax is doing its thing.
But yeah, it looks like.
The whatchamacallit and whatchamacallit from Darling in the Franks
got together and said, yeah, these these would we have some ideas.
Let's work on a project together.
They're going to come together.
And yes, I agree. Fuck off. This sucks.
Thanks. I hate it.
Fuck of all the things you could have picked to cross over with.
You pick not. Here's the thing.
One, Gurren Lagann, not exactly the kind of world that requires a crossover.
It's pretty self-contained, right?
It's also infinite in its own scope.
So like, yeah, if anything, other things cross in to Gurren Lagann,
because when you go back to the Spiral Kings flashback
and you look at all the all the all that crazy shit,
all the spiral nights he rolled out with,
there were basically like Gurren Lagann versions of Old Mecca
Yeah, from other legendary franchises. It's fantastic.
But nonetheless, yeah, this is unnecessary.
Also, darling of the Franks, I've heard zero good things.
Yeah, I did not enjoy it.
Yeah, so someone has yelling out here, it's fake.
One or two people said it's fake.
But no, this article did not come out on April Fool's.
This came out on Friday, which is not April 1st.
That's true. That isn't April 1st.
And this is posted on the fucking Kinja,
whatever, anime website thing from Kotaku's owners and whatever.
So if this has been updated,
this is fake on this.
Yeah. So once again, chat fucking stop.
And then we've got the fact that OK, we did Lancer.
We did that fall out.
Seventy six is following the part again.
The microtransactions shit.
Oh, yeah, you can buy to play by the wind now.
Oh, did we even talk about the fact that that article came out
that shows off that Bioware is massively fucked up?
No. Oh, OK.
Kotaku reported on the why Anthem went wrong.
Did we we talked about that and we talked about the response they made.
Oh, we did. Yes, that was last week.
My bad. Yeah, the first one was the response.
Sorry. Yeah.
Last week's kind of a blur. Yeah.
And yeah, let's end on two quick little notes here.
One, the samurai showdown trailer revealed the rest of the cast.
Cool cast.
And we got to see the other new characters.
I didn't even it didn't even click in my fucking head that, like,
Darley is like, like, Darley, like, Darley, Darley.
Part of it didn't click in my head until somebody pointed out to me,
like, what the fuck? That's weird.
Why are you in Samurai Showdown as a lady?
Yeah, I don't know. But there it is.
Like, you know, we make jokes like, haha, that's what it like.
No, this is really actually weird.
Yeah, woolly baits happening.
It's coming out. It's a thing.
The characters got your name and purple dreads.
And she's a fucking punch girl.
And she's got them abs.
And it's really, really cool. I know. It's very, very weird.
She looks like a one piece character quite frankly.
Yeah, I totally see that. Yeah.
I don't know. It's she looks like what I think one piece is.
But Darley Dagger is there.
Just a new kid with the white hair and the big.
Rizang is the new Chinese book magic girl.
Exactly with the with the glasses.
Yeah. And then we've got Yashimaru Kuruma,
who is a ninja ass ninja.
Oh, fucking ninja. Big old white hair.
I got that mask thing. Yeah.
Tokugawa's coming back.
The six blades Tokugawa's back.
That's really cool. I was glad to see that guy.
Yeah, he's not one of the classics.
No, but he was he came out in five.
He was really, really good.
So he made the return as well as some of the other cast.
And there was a screenshot.
No one's talking about of a black haired, mysterious,
looking badass type guy.
And it's really up close and you can't quite tell who it is.
And I'm pretty sure it's that dude from Samurai Shodown 64
that was that was with Shiki.
That's a weird.
And he was in Neo Geo Battle Colosseum
as the guy who's got long black hair, all black.
And he's got like a huge sword.
And he does like these massive slow attacks to slash the whole screen.
Do you remember this guy?
No.
And like he drops a shield on you and pulls a spear out.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure that dude might be making a return as well.
Samurai Shodown 64 pull.
Forget his name, but he was cool.
Yeah, man. That's dope.
Looks like a good cast.
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
Well, like Samurai Shodown has a lot of characters to pull.
It has way more than I thought it did.
And then there's all the Sen specific motherfuckers.
No, there isn't.
Yeah, there is.
Like there's Jay and the Casca girl don't know what you're talking about.
Yes. And last but not least, for you racing fans out there,
I actually got to try this at Pax.
So there was an anti gravity combat racer.
Formula Fusion got rebranded as Pacer,
and this is a wipeout asked fast.
Here's a good name.
Pacer is a good thing.
The music is pretty good.
And yeah, I got to got to give this a spin.
It is very fast.
It is very like it has that like, oh, yeah, this is wipeout.
I'm having a hard time controlling its speed type of thing going on.
Where's that trailer?
There it is.
I want to say.
That someone that has been in contact with me that's working on it is like
said that I think someone involved with maniac agenda was working on something
with the music.
I think so.
I don't want to be wrong on that.
But I might be either way.
The music was pretty, pretty slick.
It was fun.
It's again, if you're looking for this type of
holy shit, too fast racing, then yeah, you might enjoy it,
but they just dropped the trailer out.
And yeah, while this was that I did, I did get to sit down and played a bit
at Pax and have some fun with it.
I know that after that, the trailer just came out this week.
So take a look, see what's going down if it's your thing.
Vroom, vroom, while spaceship, while we've patiently sitting
wait for the return of Captain Falcon.
Good luck with that.
Take a look over here.
It'll happen eventually if you wait long enough, it always does.
I mean, even if even if it happens and it's bad, it'll happen.
Star Fox happened, you know, like you wait long enough and it always happens.
Take some quick emails and get the fuck out of here.
If you want to send an email, send it to the Castle Super Beast Mail at gmail.com.
That's Castle Super Beast Mail at gmail.com.
OK, Sekiro should respect its players and add big anime titties.
I agree.
That's my favorite take on that whole fucking shit show.
Did you learn anything completing this game without big anime titties?
No, you didn't.
I learned that I should have probably had more big anime titties in it.
You should feel bad about the fact that you had to mod big anime titties into Sekiro.
That and what about big anime asses?
The Sekiro difficulty thing has now become like a farce.
It's so stupid.
What about big anime asses?
And what about them?
What about the fact that the wolf was trying to sneak through the castle
but his ass cheeks were dummy thick and they kept alerting the guards?
That's why I can deflect those ass cheeks.
Ass cheeks die twice.
Brad says, hey, Brad, what's up, hey, man?
Dear Vandemar and Krupp, see subject line.
Should I spoil myself on everything?
The logic is that spoiling yourself, looking up the plot on Wikipedia
or TV tropes or whatever, allows you to jump straight to second viewing
analysis and works and blah.
It allows you to jump straight to second viewing analysis mode.
And that works that on works that rely solely on you.
This is not really well written.
Sorry, let me get back in there and try this again.
No, you know what?
You need to read it exactly as it's read.
But I'm my brain is tricking me into trying to.
Oh, to correct it as I'm going and then it's not correcting.
OK. The logic is spoiling yourself.
R.E. Look up the plot on Wikipedia or TV tropes or whatever.
Allows you to jump straight to second viewing analysis mode.
And that works that rely solely or mainly on moment to moment shock.
And which are ultimately less interesting on second
viewings would be easily, essentially filtered out by this process.
I'm basing this partly on because many seminal works were and are de facto
already spoiled by the process of time and by best works tend to hold up
even when spoiled thoughts.
Why? Like I'm like that's why you got to read it verbatim
because you let you put it on them.
All right, here's the answer.
You know, there's a study that that shows that people tend to enjoy
even mysteries more when they know the ending.
Yeah, I heard that. I remember you said that last time.
That's been that's been done and done and it's been shown.
The problem is is that most of the people in these situations
are the stupid motherfucking movie audiences that we were just complaining about.
OK, the problem is is that the average person is the stupid mother fucker
who goes, I don't get it.
Why didn't they just shoot the guy?
Oh, fuck, you know, I'm so stupid to animate it.
Shut the fuck up, Brad.
I think it's a terrible idea to spoil yourself on everything
because you're not going to be seeing it the way the creator intended
you to see it and chances are the way it was intended to be served
is the best way to enjoy chances are right because you might find
something really cool unintentional, but the intended way is probably the good way.
I would say that any story that you by default enjoy more knowing the ending
is a story that fucking sucks or you're an idiot.
Well, because here's the thing.
Go watch like bad so bad.
They're good movies like The Room and shit.
Yeah, where like they're better when you're doing not what was intended.
Yes, and that's works because they're terrible.
Yeah, but if the thing is good and worth your time, then doing it
in that way where you've ruined what is supposed to be revealed to you slowly
ruins the experience that you can only have once.
Like also you can only have it once.
Yeah, why would you rob yourself of that?
Why would you intentionally need cap this unique experience?
Old Boy is fantastic seeing that for the first time in the way that it's meant
to be revealed to you.
And if you take that away from yourself, sure, you don't have a lot of time.
You're saving yourself from some time, but get your life, your entire life.
You can't wipe that memory out.
That's gone.
You've robbed yourself of that moment forever.
Now, people are obviously going to point out that I did the Jojo wiki dive
and thus I'm apparently acting like a hypocrite.
You totally did.
Yeah, I don't care.
I didn't say that it would be fucking better.
I said I was too impatient to go track them down because they weren't done.
But you're aware that it would have been way better if I just waited.
I'm having a great time with fucking part five seeing the shit.
There you go.
But I was impatient.
OK, when there's a movie coming out and the movie's available, there's no patience.
Unless we can't wait two hours.
Yeah.
Quite frankly, I think you're a dumbass for ruining it, but that's you.
Listen, I didn't ruin anything.
It was just as good.
If I didn't cheat myself, I didn't cheat.
We've established already that you're like, I know it would have been better
otherwise, but I was impatient and I'm like, we're good.
You know, when you're cooking something and you're like, if I waited a little longer,
it will be better, but I'm hungry now.
Oh, yeah, that's.
And you just eat it.
Oh, yeah, all the time.
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
Hey, Wally, have you seen that fucking pizza video?
Which one? That Brazilian pizza video?
No, I got a fucking Brazilian pizza video to show you.
Is this something gross?
It's yeah, it's about Brazilian pizza.
That part of my life is behind me.
No, no, it's not.
I've made it through.
No, you got to watch.
I've made it through the other side experience.
Third, more about Brazil.
OK, well, people in the chat are very upset.
Anyway, um, all right.
So let's go and check it out.
You know what's really terrifying when you watch a Brazilian pizza video
and you post about how awful it is and people are like,
that looks like a fine pizza to me.
And you're like, oh, no, right.
That's terrible.
Right. I'm scared of you.
OK, Dilly Dally says, hey, crippling depression and crippling depression plus hair.
Oh, man.
There are oftentimes something I really like.
I look up and I see a video source where there's something I really like.
I look it up and I see a video and I immediately get pulled into a fully
immersed, I guess, dive on that subject.
For example, Halo.
I like Halo and one of the songs on the Halo 3 OST popped onto my phone
and I was immediately back in.
I spent the next two weeks pre playing one and two
re watching all the lore vids and all the novels and getting into the anime
in the movies, the fever ends and I'm eventually I'm on the Wikia for said
subject and I realize I need to get back to being productive on my personal
endeavors.
Has there anything had the same effect on you?
Oh, that happens to me all the time.
I'm fucking wandering internet spirit.
Yeah, that that happens.
Oh, tonight, tonight, where I accidentally clicked on the fucking
Adeptus Mechanicus fucking link on the goddamn Warhammer 40K wiki.
There goes fucking two, three hours of me.
So I don't have that, but I've recently had something that I pointed out was I
used to never browse like random Reddit things.
I would only just go look at ours.
Yeah.
And then a cut like I know that like Steph has pointed out a couple of like posts
from different ones and whatnot.
And I've had the ones that I love like Justice Porn.
Yeah.
Where I'm just like, I will fucking go in hard on a Justice Porn video all day.
Yeah.
Because instant karma and come up and just feels good to know
that wrongs are righted in the world.
But there's a couple others that I've been alerted to that she showed me.
And like now I kind of regret it because I've been like kind of deep diving
and checking some of these things and spending way too long scrolling
through something, for example, Reddit, I am a total piece of shit.
Yeah.
Is just infuriating.
Yeah.
And I can't stop because it's just screenshots of people being awful.
But unlike Justice Porn, there's no comeuppance or like I did awful.
Yeah.
And then here's someone pointing it out.
And it's like and it's also like it's one of the things that they have
like the no doxing rule.
So they just kind of like censor the thing or whatever or like or no links
to the news article in some cases.
And I'm like, but I want to know the reasons why you are such a piece of shit.
Yeah.
And you don't get that satisfaction or at least the karma come up
in some of the Justice Porn.
So there's a it's infuriating because I'm like, I hate everything
about how awful people are right now.
And I read the next one.
There's a subreddit that a friend recently pointed me at because of this
ridiculous bullshit and it's called unpopular opinions.
And most of it is opinions that are actually totally reasonable.
Justice is not the kind of thing you just talk about.
Yeah.
So like one of the ones that I like there was a thread on.
It's like, oh, yeah, that's totally reasonable.
It's like schools should do more about teaching you how to do your fucking
taxes than, you know, history or geography, you know, that kind of thing.
Right.
Yeah.
Teach more about like how to live your life.
But then there's this one that even the moderation staff were just like,
what the fuck is wrong with you?
It's like, does anybody in here like to eat frozen food?
And I don't mean like eat like a frozen, like, you know, do you like pizza rolls?
Jesus Christ.
I mean, like just, you know, just pop like a like a like a pizza roll in your
mouth and just suck on it.
And so it falls and just like the moderation staff is like, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
What the actual shit?
Fuck.
You know, you ever just pop a Totino's in your mouth and just suck on it?
Like it's a fucking starburst or God, what was the other one?
It's perfectly OK to eat starbursts with the peel.
Yeah.
And then everyone's like, you mean the wrapper?
Yeah.
The plastic wrapper.
Yeah.
No, Darwin would have taken care of this maybe in earlier or they would have
been a king in the early years.
There's two in particular that go hand in hand with each other.
It's nice guys and nice girls.
You're aware.
No, but I can ballpark it from game screenshots, often of text
conversations of people just doing that thing, that thing that they do
of both kinds, where really effectively it comes down to with like if we
strip all language and words away, it comes down to.
I am lonely and have an interest in you.
Do you have an interest in me?
No, I hate you and your existence.
You are worthless and I hope you die.
I never liked you anyway.
That's my favorite part of it, by the way.
I never liked you anyway.
Ha, I was just kidding.
I was just kidding.
I am hurt.
My feelings and emotions are very, very damaged, but I can't reveal that.
So I have to lash out to protect those feelings.
That's what it comes down to, right?
Whether it's filtered through the guys doing it or the girls doing it.
And it's so fucking enraging to think about people that have to
defend their rejection because literally rejection.
There's a study that proves that rejection, you feel it as a physical pain.
It sucks.
Yeah, it's a physical pain.
There's a lot of mental pain that is actually physical pain.
Like, you know, when you see a dude get hit in the nads, this is obviously
you need to mend.
You can actually and you go, oh, right?
That's real.
That is real pain.
Those are signals.
Yeah.
So, so this is what it is, is literally just like your inability
to deal with that.
This unpleasantness.
Means you have to pretend your attempt is not an attempt to begin with.
That's most of what becoming a real adult is, is having dealt with so much
unpleasantness that you're kind of numb to it.
So you can function while it's happening.
But the lack of awareness in how utter, like, how, like, you don't
understand that this is why you're in the predicament you're in.
No, of course not.
Because you're young and you're stupid.
Well, I can look back at myself at 25, right?
I was appreciably dumber than I am.
Certainly, right?
Certainly.
Also, I want to point out that you just did a big hypocrisy.
Oh, please.
I'm like, did you watch that gross pizza video?
And you're like, I'm past that time in my life.
So I'm at the nice guy's fucking reddit.
Yeah, yeah.
Wanting to vomit my soul onto the floor.
So that, yeah, a hundred percent.
Yeah, right.
You're past that time.
Yeah, because you know, well, you know what we're talking about.
I know what you're talking about, but those are the not safe for life
horrors.
Yeah.
And once you know that you can make it through those, you've proved it
and you can put that away.
I remember those scars remain forever.
I remember the day I knew it was too much.
The day that I quit the fucking, I bet I can watch this.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
And it was when two girls, one cup came out.
Yeah.
Don't Google that.
Don't look at it.
It's at this point, it's nothing.
Right.
And everyone was posting reaction videos of them screaming and running away
and throwing up and shit.
And I was like, I bet I can watch that.
I'm not a pussy.
I can handle it.
And I watched it and I went, yeah, that's pretty bad.
Time to stop.
OK.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
Like I looked at it and I kind of blinked and like, yeah, it's pretty awful.
It's time to quit.
Yeah.
Pain Olympics and the gauntlet, quite frankly.
Yeah.
But that's different because that's just like, that's Oh God, that's the horror.
Yeah.
This is this is deeper.
This is worse.
This is other human behavior that is like so awful that it makes you lose
faith sometimes.
And then you got to go fucking stare at like, hey, check out this, this, this,
this dog putting the ball in the golf hole.
You know what I do?
You know who I follow on Twitter?
I follow the wholesome memes Twitter.
Sure wholesome memes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I follow those those accounts that post puppies every couple of hours.
Well, you see, and I know it makes me happy.
Yeah.
And you see, that's and that's just the other day,
Stephanie, I talked about the fact that I'm like, yes, we get more puppies
and kitties and that's the whole thing.
Yes, we know you get the fucking you see the thing and it's like, oh,
and then it's a puppy.
But but like that shit.
But you need it.
And I'm seeing now, the more I'm going into it, that you need it to just fight
back whatever else is going on in your brain that's making you lose faith
in humanity and whatnot.
And the one that I pointed out that I'm like, I'm loving is kids are fucking
stupid.
OK, because they're dumb as shit because it's fucking and it's just that and
it's kids being really, really dumb.
And the picture in particular that fucking got me is just like it's just
like it's like there's two Lego towers and one of them
is flying out of the frame.
And the other one is a really short little shitty one.
It's a little girl standing there crying and this capture to just like
stupid girl through the thought twice before she challenged me to a Lego
building competition.
And she's just staring at the huge tower going because her towers sucked.
And that's it's awesome.
Fuck you, kid.
Oh, man. You got what you had coming.
I love it.
That makes that great.
That puts it all back in.
Really good time on that.
But see, that's wholesome.
Laughing at stupid children is forever.
Yeah, because children are always going to be stupid.
Yeah. Yeah, that's real.
Um, man, it's so that, like I said, you see the horrible things happen
and you go like, oh, from that creates some some permanent battle scars.
But the ones that are scars on like this is the way really trash,
like just shit people.
This is the behavior of shit people.
And you go, oh, they're out there.
That's a different type of damage.
Yeah, you don't need that.
You know what you need?
You need rushed dash cam videos.
I did like there's an hour long.
Oh, I watch it every now and then because it's just good time so much.
So is the one.
It's like so it's the guy who rolls off and softly rolls.
Oh, it's the guy who the car comes to a complete stop
and they just kind of flop onto the hood and slide off too much, man.
It's too much.
Oh, what a silly place.
See, but the but the but the other dash cam video, the justice porn dash cams.
Oh, the dad, you really have to clarify what that means.
That sounds really nefarious.
OK, justice porn is quite simple.
It's not porn.
It's when someone does something awful and then the world corrects
come up and the situation by allowing that person to get caught,
called out and or punished for their actions.
Yeah. And in particular, like shoplifters getting their asses kicks
or whatever the fuck, right?
Or motherfucker tackles Bret Hart and gets stomped the fuck out
by a bunch of humongous jacked dudes who do nothing,
but out pump each other all day and hurt each other in the ring.
Just beat his ass as they drag a heart, period, a heart. Wow.
What are you doing? Wow.
Yeah. And then this one particular one, this old this lady in this car
like runs the just driving like a complete asshole and these guys
that happen to be filming are just like, let's just follow this crazy lady
who's driving like a complete asshole.
And lo and behold, she runs over and hits an old dude.
And one of the guys goes, you get out and help him.
I'm going to fucking get her and just follows this ass fucking shit
piece of garbage human being until he she pins her in a place
where she can't go anywhere as he calls the cops.
And she just sits there and goes, what?
I didn't do anything.
What's the problem?
And you're just like, please, please, just sit there and go through
whatever you need to to fight at the world
until someone picks you up and puts you in a fucking box.
Yeah. And it just feels so good to see them sitting there going, I don't.
I what do you have? You have nothing? Nothing. Awesome.
Or like yesterday, when a dude walked in to a garage
and saw some dude broke into his car and it was like rifling through to steal his shit.
Yeah. And he goes, whoa, and he hits the lock button.
Oh, yeah, this one and just holds it down.
And the guy's like, well, I can't get out.
And then a bunch of other people come around and go, what's going on?
They're like, yeah, I'll try to steal my shit.
And they're like, oh, this is great.
And they pull their phones out and just stayed by the door
so that nothing's going anywhere.
And you just watch for five minutes as the dude just sits there like a fucking moron.
And then the cops pull up. It's great. It's fucking great.
It's like, what was your plan to be a piece of shit?
You know what? You know what I really like?
There's an ancient one in some American Canadian mall.
The guy like shoplifts some big item and he is hauling ass.
Like it's it's like five different security cameras.
And then they just cut to him just running as hard as he can
into what's sliding like Plexi's door and just
and just on to the floor. Just out. Yeah, just out.
It's my it's my favorite. It's my favorite.
It's so good. It's so, so, so good
because you don't get away with it.
You fucking love it. Oh, man.
Yeah. Hell yeah. All right.
That was you ever see the one of a Chinese shoplifter guy on a motorcycle
steals the lady's purse and then it goes off camera and then
in China, I mean, right? Yeah.
And then it goes off camera and then nothing's happening.
And then all of a sudden you see the same guy like coming back
and crashes the motorcycle and a swarm of people appear
and people start coming out of the houses with sticks
and just start beating his fucking ass.
And you're like, oh, yeah. Like, wow, that's fucking great.
That's pretty intense. That's great.
That's super great. Love that.
You know, um, yeah, anyway, it's just
it and you, you know, the look on like, you know, the you know,
the one where like, there's a big crash in the house
and then the camera runs over to see what happened.
And you see the dog with the table on its head
and it's just kind of looking down like, oh, it's that expression of like,
you know, you fucked up, didn't you?
You know, you fucked up, though, right?
You know, I actually had an equivalent of this back in the day.
The place I used to live, you remember,
I had that big fucking intersection right to the south of it.
People would blow through that red like every day
after like 10 p.m. people blow through that red.
And sure enough, it's copyright fucked every day,
every single fucking day.
And I'm just like walking into the store and it's like,
and you can see it happen in advance.
You can see it like that guy's not going to slow down.
He's going to blow it.
There's a cop car. All right.
And there. OK, you have a good day, asshole.
Yeah, people like you are the reason why I hate crossing this fucking street.
You piece of shit.
Deserved, right?
Meanwhile, over on I'm a Total Piece of Shit, you get to read about
cop that was pulling someone over for drunk driving
got hit by a drunk driver and then the ambulance they were in
got hit by a third drunk driver.
The community standards need to be improved, I think.
And then that's the post.
And then you just have to feel the way you feel about that news, you know?
And I'm like, I can't I can't deal.
I can't deal. I need the fucking anyway. All right.
That sounds quite awful.
It's very bad. It's really, really shit.
Follow the wholesome memes Twitter account instead.
There's wholesome memes there.
It's about feeling good about yourself.
Positivity. Fuck humanity. Yay, humanity.
Yeah, man. Fuck humanity.
Yay, humanity. Hey, dogs are cool.
Ever seen a dog do a trick?
I've seen that. Aren't they wonderful?
They can be great.
Yeah, cats can be fun, too.
Yeah, every once in a while.
Stubborn is fucking dumb as rocks.
But yeah, I caught.
All right.
How about this is a fucking creepy, dude, like that cat has all the hair
on his stomach removed and like, I'll hear this horrible slurping noise
and I'll walk in and the cats got his legs spread with his paws.
Like, clawing at his stomach and he's like, sucking on his like, pink stomach.
And it's like, what the fuck, you gross old cat?
Yeah, I love you.
Meanwhile, I saw you take a photo of the fucking one at your parents' place.
Oh, yeah, it's the real thing.
You got your Puppa over there and I'm just like, he's stupid.
Why don't you get a Puppa?
Right now? No, why didn't you?
Why didn't you? Yeah.
Look, this page brought Elmo over.
Yeah, fair enough.
Page had Elmo for fucking forever.
He's like 12, 13.
She got him when he was a cat with only two legs and covered in piss.
Well, you know me, dogs rule, cats drool.
OK, you know what? To wholesome homeward bound.
Milo and Otis. No.
Oh, man, I ruined somebody's day talking about that recently.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like, hey, you know those?
Yeah, we're talking about that fun movie with those cats.
We're talking about like how if like an actor turns out to be
like a wife beater or some shit, how it contains the fucking show.
And, you know, it's and I'm like, it's like what happened
with Milo and Otis? Yeah, the person I was talking to went, what the fuck?
You talking about?
I'm like, you know what?
We should just end this conversation right now.
Tap out, pull this in this conversation right the fuck now.
Yeah. Hey, podcast listeners, if you are a fan of Milo and Otis,
you should continue being a fan of Milo and Otis and never ever look it up.
Don't question it. Don't look it up.
Don't ever go and look up anything about the production
of Milo and Otis on Wikipedia.
Just enjoy this fun tale about these pets going on an adventure.
Yeah.
Let's end it there, huh?
Yeah, let's end it there.
All right, you guys take almost five hours, but not quite.
Bye bye. Bye bye.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.