Castle Super Beast - CSB 016: Tinydeals for Big Money Rustlas
Episode Date: May 7, 2019Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Warning, the following podcast has opinions about Spider-Toby, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, Twin Peaks, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek Disco...very, Firefly, Dollhouse, and the MCU. Chat BTFO. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Nier Automata - The Weight of the World DMC1 comes to Switch Platinum is self publishing - has an idea that has never been since before Borderlands 3 drama Bonus Xbox Game of Thrones tease: This time a good ending maybe?! GOLDDUST RULES Yuji Naka is grateful for your discomfort New punch planet character teased! Washington Post interviews me Epic bought Psyonix Shiki is back
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Does it look cool?
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, saw, saw, saw, you look like a man who is definitely not
fed up.
You look like a man who has plenty of patience left to go.
And then don't forget the sound of the tool getting dropped on the floor.
That's not a very tool like sound.
No, but that's how I, that's how I woke up just about every weekday for the last two,
three weeks.
Wait, seriously?
Three?
I thought it was two.
That's fun.
Man, oh man.
I can sleep through a lot.
I got voted best sleeper back in high school.
I have always been, yeah, because I'd fucking doze the fuck off during class.
Always conked out, always, sleeping, standing up, sleeping, sitting down, sleeping, whatever
position, hard floor, soft floor, anything.
Sleep.
It's fucking sleep, man.
Yeah.
It's that, it's that, well, I said it's that old goddess speaking a dead language, just
sucking you off, right?
That was the metaphor.
Sleep is the best and I, I, boy, do sure know how to get some, however, that is not a pleasant
way to wake up.
You know, it's funny because I'm probably the lightest sleeper I've ever encountered,
except for construction noises.
For whatever reason, construction shit doesn't really bother me because it blocks out all
other noise.
So I have a white noise machine in my house specifically to block out the stupid noises
that would otherwise keep me up, like any creaking or ticking or what have you.
Does that actually work?
Yeah.
Because I feel like I've listened to like white noise on like headphones and I kind
of was like, this doesn't seem, I don't know, I haven't really experimented enough with
it, but.
Oh, remember, Willie, I'm also dealing with the Darth Vader-esque noises of my sleep
apnea machine.
Well, there is this too.
There is this too, I suppose.
That's fine.
It just means that when all the fucking construction is done and out, then we can actually start
working.
Uh-huh.
So let's do that, although we're going to lose light for sure.
It's fine.
It's a nice day.
It's a beautiful day.
I walked here.
It was pretty.
It's a pleasant day outside.
I saw construction because this is Montreal and it is required that I see construction.
This is chirping, Johnny on the corner, hard hats, and OSHA violations as far as the eye
can see.
You should put that truck there.
Yeah.
I don't know, Jimmy.
You should have put that truck there.
I don't know, Bobby.
You see the fucking scaffolding this fucker over here?
You see what he put together?
Look at that shit.
Montreal.
Look at that shit.
That bolt is halfway off the sidewalk.
The fuck were you thinking?
One guy with a shovel, five guys to make sure he's shoveling properly.
Shout outs to the subreddit dedicated to horrible construction site violations and huge safety
hazards.
Are you deep diving on obscure ass feel good nightmare subreddits?
I mentioned it when I first started talking about it, but I never used to browse general
purposes, whatever.
I would specifically only.
I never had the app.
I just would just open up the website and go to the best friend subreddit.
Yeah.
That's the only place I'd ever go.
Yeah.
And then, of course, instant karma and justice porn.
Yeah.
Accidental renaissance.
Yeah.
Entered the rotation.
Yeah.
I'm familiar with that.
And that was about it.
Yeah.
That was about it.
And then recently, yeah, thanks to Punch Mom, I started wasting my time with others and
have been since expanding and exploring out, you know, for just like quick five minute
time wasters.
And I'm finding some some fucking solid shit that I didn't know I needed.
I mentioned last time that it was it's more of an Instagram page, but on a dynamic automation
is just machines doing machining things.
Yeah, I like that.
Super soothing.
Super soothing.
That's really great.
But yeah, OSHA, OSHA, just the Operational Safety and Hazards Association, like just
anyone that puts a fucking stack of metal beams, rife for impaling human life on a table
that's bending, end of table is making it's making like a happy face.
Yeah.
Core curve.
It's fine.
It's like a closed bracket.
It's fine, man.
You know, and you're just like, yeah, that's great.
That table was meant to handle tons of weight.
Perfect.
Good job.
I might be wrong.
Probably.
Yeah.
But I always got the impression that construction has so many fatalities purely because someone
cut a corner somewhere time like properly vetted and procedure construction doesn't often
have pieces of the building just snap loose and impale you.
Yes.
This engineering is a sound hard profession that knows that if you do things correctly,
predictable results will occur and pretty predictable safety will occur.
With some fringe cases with certain types of buildings.
For the most part.
The math is tough.
Right.
Yeah, but you cut corners because you want to save time and while we all know that nothing
wastes time like trying to save time, you know, nothing takes life like trying to save
time.
That's right.
Because like, yeah, I've just I'm scrolling past how many electrical plugs sitting in sewer
puddles.
You know, what's a really good example of that that isn't that doesn't cost life but
does cause fear.
You know those radio towers and cell towers and all that shit.
The ones that have light bulbs or electronics like miles up that need to be replaced by
a human being.
Yep.
You know, the vast majority of those repairmen and women don't use any of the safety shit.
Right.
Because it makes the trip like three times as long because they just Lara Croft it.
Well, because what you're supposed to do, right, you're supposed to hook yourself on
and then climb up four steps and then unhook yourself.
Well, sorry, hook the second one, then unhook the bottom one, climb four steps, hook the
second one on, right, et cetera, right.
Takes forever.
And this is a trip that takes hours.
Yeah.
So again, faith and engineering is how we live our lives because every time I walk around
downtown and I see a crane up, yeah, right, you mean a crane that rises a thousand feet
in the air.
Multiple times.
Yes.
That is nonsensically extending another mile, right, not a mile, but a couple hundred feet
over an open thoroughfare or a school, your your initial understanding of gravity and
fear goes and tells you that that shouldn't be there.
That shouldn't make sense.
That's a death trap.
But engineering says no, no, that's fine.
The base is so unbelievably heavy and the girders at the bottom are so much thicker
than the ones at the top that it can't tip over.
It's like a Christmas tree except for the ones that tip over and then you see the video
of the one that tips over and you kind of in your head go, well, when a crane goes up,
there's got to be some sort of mechanic or I imagine there's supposed to be guide wires
some sort of clearance thing in place to like and then you see the one of the thing just
falling and going right through the house and you I'm just like, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Yeah.
That's that's that cursed knowledge.
I don't need to know that living my life at any point, a falling crane might just stop
it and say, hello, man, I'll do you one better.
Every building that I'm ever in, in which I'm the third floor and up, I'm like, this
building could just fall over.
OK, well, that no, you don't know that.
I mean, there are everyone that's been in a building that fell over, thought that the
building they were in wasn't going to fall over.
But when you see those videos of like the wobbling buildings, but they're actually better
because they can wobble, old skyscraper.
Yeah, that's just like fucking terrifying, but it's actually genius, right?
Like the plane wing.
Because winds bends to extreme degrees.
Yeah. Oh, man, you know, this whole conversation reminds me of so Montreal is an old city.
So those of you don't know, it's got a lot of ancient buildings.
And I don't know if you remember, Wolves, but like five, six, seven years ago,
there was a couple having like a romantic dinner.
I think there were fiance's and like a slab.
Yes, just fell on that building and just took one of them.
The fuck out was like snap.
Yeah, lady, lady got crushed by the slap and it came down.
That's like, well, the city inspector that was supposed to look at it and marked it
good, probably didn't look at it.
Yeah, exactly.
Because you're supposed to expect building in exteriors for that kind of shit.
And then mark down like a like a bathroom check at a McDonald's.
When the last time someone went in and cleaned that shit, yeah.
Otherwise, you get slapped.
And there was also that woman who she was fine, I think, but her car got destroyed
because a part of the overpass that is now gone, the one over on the west end of the island.
Well, not the west end of the island, but near like angry, you know, ish,
you know, all those overpasses.
Yeah, yeah, one of those just fucking slap concrete just fell off the bottom.
And now you go, you drive under that shit.
And all you see is like a bunch of fucking stapled nets on the underneath
of the overpasses to catch the big rocks.
Man, like, there's just there's just something, though.
Like back in Grenada, I mean, I mentioned it a while ago, but there was there was
a fucking bus that was we don't have buses, dead minivans, right?
But there was a minivan that was just around in a corner and it just did it
at the exact time that this ancient boulder that's been there.
What's the beginning of time?
This giant fucking vehicle sized boulder just decided to fall off the mountain
and roll down the hill at the exact moment.
And like, you're just like, what is fate?
What is destiny? What is God?
Luckily, everyone was fine, right?
Yeah, if by fine, you mean pancake.
I did mean that.
And unfortunately, the like the closest police station was the central one
where we were living, and they just hauled that thing over.
And like, it's pretty hard to do full cleanup.
Yeah, when you're peeling a van off of a boulder.
So like little got little woolly, got a little bit scarred by seeing some some pieces.
Yeah, well, wasn't great.
Yeah, and then I heard a similar thing happen to like literally a church bus.
I heard there was a church bus full of nuns.
Only what is what?
And it was that's a real that happened.
And you're just like, what is this life?
So engineering or not, sometimes there's just that moose that decides to walk
across the street.
And if you're driving and you fucking hit it, that moose ain't having a bad day.
All right, Willie, I want to ask you a question.
I already came up with an answer as I was listening to this, but I want to hear
your opinion first construction based and or natural terrain based nightmare
that is the actual worst for you possible.
Like, is it a boulder?
Is it a building falling over?
Is it a fucking crack in the earth from the earthquake?
Is not what not what's what I prefer.
But what is the worst?
What is the worst?
Well, the problem with that is the fear that someone might do it to me.
Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to drop a bus on you.
No, I suppose not.
Fine, I'll put this out there in the world.
OK, falling into that endless crack.
So as I was listening to you, I came my mind went sinkhole.
The sinkhole. Here's the thing about the sinkhole.
Terrifying to look at from the outside.
Yeah. Right.
When you're in it, it's a big splat and you're probably done.
Yeah. The endless crack that falls so far deep.
It goes to the Earth's mantle that you can that you can that the like you're
seeing a pin drop of light. Yeah.
You can't even lift your arm up to end yourself.
No. Right.
Like you're talking like the glacier crack.
I'm talking that that.
Yeah, I'm talking that you're hiking up somewhere.
You shouldn't be going into the fucking triple diamond territory.
Yeah. And yeah, I'm using skiing, fucking difficulty.
And you just fall into the one that's the perfect size for humans.
Yeah. And you go right down until it eventually starts to close up.
And then you're just lodged in there and that's the end of that.
But your arms are by your side, so you're not moving.
So you're just hanging out.
Hope you don't get claustrophobia.
There was a guy that's the nightmare.
I forget the hope you can bite your tongue real good.
He went spelunking and managed to crawl into a one way hole
that for some reason, the mechanics of this curve meant that a human body
could crawl in headfirst, but not come back out because of the way our rib cage works.
Christ. And he starved to death in it.
Like he like and there was a massive rescue attempt.
But just like it's like hundreds of feet deep.
And it's all stone if they tried to dig around it, it would all collapse.
And just like, no, no way to get out facing the wrong way,
facing the wrong way, like legs dangling out of an opening.
Just stuck.
Truth here. Yeah.
I mean, I wonder if you have access to someone from like rib cage down.
Can you intravenously or to one end?
I don't know. I don't know.
You know, like, yeah, you could you'd probably do some shit.
Can you provide them with air and and like water?
By just like cutting holes in places?
I don't know, man. That's a fuck.
That's just a fuck. Yeah.
Exactly. One hundred and twenty seven hours.
That movie, right? Yeah.
You know, Amigara Fault.
Yeah, shout outs to the art piece that recently got created to.
It's a it's a human shaped corridor that has no visible end.
Yes.
Enter. Don't care for that.
Enter it. No.
See, and I would have I would be way more comfortable entering it backwards.
However, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you can see the end.
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
But then you don't know what's behind you.
So what's in there?
Right. If someone can hard confirm that nothing's in there,
then I'm fine.
But like everything about your survival is like you need
and you need to know where the exit is and you need to see where the threat is.
And if you can't detect both at the same time, you don't know which is worse.
I don't I don't care for this.
Yeah, this entire discussion, actually, I don't care for it.
But if you wanted to ask, that's where it goes.
Yeah, man.
Nothing to me is worse than the crack.
Yeah, I find the sinkhole nightmarish because the sinkhole doesn't even.
You never see the bottom.
It doesn't correspond to earthquakes or disaster.
Yeah, it just appears structural weakness.
There's and there's it's totally random.
Yeah, like it's very easy to tell afterwards.
Like, oh, there was an underground stream here for a thousand years.
Dug it out of the bubble.
And there's always the and there's the news reports where you see this.
It's the flyby shot where it's like it's this intersection is just gone.
Yeah. And it's a hole into hell.
Right. Like horrifying from a distance.
Yeah. Right.
Again, once you're in there, you're just dropping and you're done, right?
Some of them are real deep, though.
So you're dropping for a good while.
But the one that happened in this poor fuck's living room in his house
contained to his house, his it was in his area.
And it was like just unlucky.
It happened right underneath this dude's house.
And it was like a smaller sinkhole.
And you're just like, that's just that's just fucking orangey, man.
That's a thumb from a pie.
That's fucking orangey just gets you.
There's nothing you can do.
None you can do about it.
Yeah. And then there's dumb shit like Centralia.
What's Centralia?
Centralia is a city in the United States that is currently mostly abandoned
because it is perpetually on fire.
It is forever on fire because some dumb fucks accidentally lit the coal mine
underneath the town on fire.
And that's not going out anytime soon.
It may burn forever.
That's not how energy conservation works.
Yeah. Well, for you and me, it's going to burn forever.
Yeah.
And it has like active sinkhole activity
because of the because when the coal burns, it creates
like a hole in the earth, which causes the weight to shift.
Yeah. And then when the cracks appear, toxic
coal gas shoots out of the earth.
I just fucking like the other day decided because I've done it like twice
before where I'm just like, it's that time of year.
Time to go look up drone footage of Chernobyl.
Right. Time to just go check out what that looks like.
And they got a big plan to fix the sarcophagus.
Oh, come on. Oh, come on.
No way. Come on. How?
They're right. What what device?
Because people, you go in, you're done.
You send in a machine, right?
And if I'm not mistaken, like anything metallic just amplifies it.
Well, most it would.
But you do anything you send in there, you're going to leave in there.
You're making it worse.
And no, it doesn't make it worse.
OK. It just stores it quite strongly.
Right. OK.
They're basically planning to put a dome over the entire reactor.
OK, the dome plan.
I've heard the dome plan.
And they're going to be using like drones and automated shit
from safe areas in the city and moving them in.
And they're going to be like basically sealing off the whole thing.
Because that's our cop, by the way, the sarcophagus is the metallic shell
that was built by heroes who were not told what radiation is
around the Chernobyl open blast site.
There's a lot of radiation in there.
And that thing is coming down, whether we like it or not.
And if it comes down for even a second, we get Chernobyl, too.
In the air this time.
Well, it was in the air the first time.
But this one just won't have an explosion.
It'll just be like a seep.
Like the collapse equals dust into the air.
Yeah, those particles moving out.
Chernobyl was like shitting your pants, right?
And everyone around you had to deal with that.
The sarcophagus failing is like your diaper falling off.
The Simpsons movie.
Yeah, just dropped the dome on it.
Yeah, but yeah, that shit needs to be fixed.
Yeah, I mean, Chernobyl, too.
I mean, not Fukushima, right?
I got, you know, like we there's other and not to mention.
Oh, God, I was reading about Chernobyl specific
because Chernobyl's reactor core outside the sarcophagus
is exposed to open air as opposed to.
You can look at it as from a helicopter
if you took the sarcophagus off.
Right, whereas Fukushima was submerged.
It was all internal submerged bullshit.
Yeah, if I remember correctly.
Yeah, um, God, there was a city
that just got fucking wiped off the map
and they just pretended it never existed.
Well, it was anyway.
Yeah, so.
I'm a big proponent of nuclear power, not even being ironic.
Provide more nuclear power plants.
Like Simpson style.
No. Just giant, open fucking.
You want more nuclear power plant?
I mean, I heard an argument as for as like,
like I literally heard an argument about someone saying
like why it's a good idea.
You could power the entire North American continent
with like 200 power plants or whatever.
But you just got to get OK with the idea
that we might fuck up.
Yeah, well, I trust Canadian, Mexican
and American engineers a lot more than 1980s
Russian engineers. OK, here, I got it.
I got it. The whole plant is built on
those crazy fucking new rockets that we have
so that if shit goes wrong, just launch it to space
like a Terran command base.
I want to point out that at one point
there was an idea to float nuclear waste to space.
Just float it up, right?
And I know, I know, right?
Space debris, huge problem.
That's not the problem.
But now, right?
Giant nuclear hazard in the atmosphere.
But just keep going.
Well, let it shoot it way, way past.
Do you want to know why nuclear waste
will never leave this planet?
Because if it happens to pull a challenger
in the atmosphere because of the challenge,
that's the end of the world.
Challenger disaster killed every possible argument
for that idea. End of the world.
Yeah. Oops.
We've already we've irradiated every cloud in the world.
We tried to make energy a little bit cheaper.
We tried to get it too cheap.
Tried to make it a little bit nicer.
So you get a little bit off on your phone bill.
You know, turns out we extinguished all life on planet.
Also, nuclear waste isn't that bad compared to like carbon waste.
You know, everyone's terrified of nuclear waste, right?
Yeah.
There's lots of space that nobody lives.
Just dump it in the middle of Iowa.
Nobody would ever even notice.
But carbon waste, you can't even solidify it and store it.
It goes straight up into the air.
So I don't know anything about carbon waste.
You know, you burn coal.
Yeah.
Coals made of carbon.
Oh, yeah. OK.
Right goes into the air.
Yeah.
Carbon dioxide.
Yeah. That whole thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's worth the nukes.
Well, millions and millions and millions and millions of tons of it.
Yeah.
Is, yes, worse than then nuclear waste.
But you can live in a city that's got smog and shit going on around it and up in it.
It's going to be unhealthy as fuck, but you can.
Eventually, radiation kills you in days.
Well, you're you're talking.
You're I'm I'm coming.
I don't know. OK.
Here's the here's the here's the here's the thing with the carbon thing.
Yes, but climate.
Right. And then it becomes a fucking oopsie.
We went too far.
OK, but the difference in my brain is one of them is like China, for example,
where air becomes a pressure, air becomes poison.
Yes. Right.
And it sucks.
But hey, we're doing it.
Yeah. And then the other is no actual poison, hazard, danger zones.
Yeah. The difference is like you walked into the wrong door and metroid.
The difference is is one is about one million times more than the other,
which is carbon versus nuclear.
And you can store that nuclear shit.
You could.
Muff. Yeah, muff materials on account for now.
But you could you could grab all the nuclear waste in the planet
and put it in like a one kilometer like cube.
And that would store it for like five thousand years or some shit.
But we'd have to pick a part of the globe to.
Yeah, Iowa.
Dead center. Who gives a shit?
No one.
I mean, I mean, how about a land made, a man made landmass out in like,
you mean the plastic island?
Just put it on the plastic island.
Fatberg, put it on the fatberg.
No, you don't do that.
You put it somewhere really dry.
So I wanted to tell.
Well, you can't dump hundreds of thousands of pounds of nuclear waste
into the ocean, into the ocean. No, not into the ocean, but like above the ocean.
You know, about like in the sky.
We talked about this.
Antarctica, Antarctica is good.
The only problem is getting shit to Antarctica.
It's far. Yeah.
And you pretty much got you got to transport it there via the plane
or your flight via the ocean one way or the other.
And if one of those planes happens to also you don't fly with nuclear waste.
Yeah, you don't want to do that.
That seems like a really terrible idea to skycrime right.
Yeah, that's the skycrime.
Yeah, you don't do it.
What if someone accidentally goes?
Hey, is that an enemy and then shoots it and then blows up the plane
with the nuclear waste in it and then spreads all the fun juice?
I have an idea.
I think I think that all nuclear reactor,
we should build hundreds of nuclear reactors in North America
and the nuclear reactors must be staffed by engineers
trained within that reactor's vicinity.
People who grew up in the nearest town.
Therefore, if it melts down, it's their fault made they did to themselves anyway.
How about like, you know, like fucking Newt,
Newtown, Pennsylvania or whatever got wiped off the map.
All those Newtowners, all their idiots couldn't couldn't handle their reactor.
Whoops. I mean, we could always just do what we're doing now
and wait for the new invention that doesn't exist yet.
Well, that solves the problem.
The problem is that that did get solved as mean you live in Montreal,
Quebec, Canada.
And that problem was solved by hydroelectric power.
Yes, but which is clean.
Yes, free.
Yes, infinite, depending on the weather.
God bless God bless the Hudson Bay and totally unavailable
to the mass majority of the mass majority of the planet.
Yeah, you need to have a giant mountains and rivers
and a giant closed body of water.
Yeah.
However, what I actually mean is for someone to invent
the thing that is like, oh, this is a a sponge for radiation.
Yeah. And that like nullifies it.
I have I have a good news for you.
That item has already been discovered.
It's life.
Yeah, life is life.
No, there is actually there is a there is a chemical called thorium,
which burns and reacts similar.
It's a it's a form of nuclear power, much similar to uranium and plutonium.
But it's not self-sustaining.
So if your reactor explodes, it just turns off.
OK, that's cool.
And there's more thorium in the ground.
What I but what I'm really trying to get at, though, is I mean,
inventing the thing that you can throw a bunch of at places like Chernobyl.
Yeah. And then eventually life, the green air turns pure again.
So even though it's not actually green, but you know, it's green and radiation
doesn't work like that.
No, but you literally doesn't work like video games, though.
No, it doesn't.
It doesn't work like that.
That room is full of radioactive gas.
It's yellow. Yeah. Your life bar is going down.
It is. Get out of there. No, OK.
And now sit in a sit in a room for two weeks and get blasted with water.
The radiation is so fucking weird to me because it acts like a particle like dust.
Yeah. But it's not. It's a force.
It's oh, it's not interacting with oxygen in a way that we can say
that's an oxygen particle plus radiation.
And it's complicated.
It's beyond my pay grade. Yeah, definitely.
Beyond my fucking half-assed university physics pay grade.
Build a fucking bill and build an LHC. Right.
Yeah. Open up a pocket black hole. Got it.
Suck in all the all the area that is irradiated and then just close the black hole.
I'm going to point out that a pocket black hole would be.
The most radioactive thing ever.
But then it all gets sucked in. No.
Right. Also, if they if they open up a pocket.
But that was easy for a picosecond.
Like you we would all blink out of existence.
Oh, that's why I'm saying the sheer.
But the microscopic black hole, the really, really tiny.
No, you don't know, you don't know.
They're really, really tiny one.
The one where the event horizon is like, they might actually be that small.
Space is crazy, man.
It's wild. And I know we're talking about the Earth, but Earth is in space.
Seeing how it is.
What's up, Wolves? What's up with you?
Not much. What's going on?
We we did things.
Weeks occurred in mine, I suppose.
I'll tell you one thing.
Yeah, tell me a thing.
Uh, yeah, I want to go see Shazam.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What do you think? That's a piece of shit.
What? That movie sucked, bro.
All right. Your taste is garbage.
OK. She was ass.
It was ass, dog.
That's fine.
Here's what I will say.
I mean, the the the jokes you get in the trailer of like
superheroes on YouTube trying to figure out their powers is funny.
And there's a there's a twist.
That's interesting. We, you know, well, I'm sorry.
I know that my taste in movies can't be as good as yours.
We all know that that Spider-Man trilogy is just garbage.
Do it. It's you know what?
I don't even do it strongly about this, because I totally agree with you
about the Spider-Man shit for real.
Like those movies like held up really badly.
And Toby McGuire is a dork.
Do you remember the part where
where Spider-Man lost his powers because of
because of his dick, because of feelings?
Yeah, because he's fucking he had fucking erectile dysfunction of the web.
I legitimately liked a lot of Doctor Octopus until
Alfred Molina is the best part of all three of those fantastic.
No. No.
Great.
Sandman is fantastic.
What's his name? Goblin Man.
Oh, Defoe. Defoe.
Oh, he's great.
Yeah, he's the only one who knows his name.
Yeah.
Now, for me, it's it's it's Doc Ock and Sandman are fantastic.
And then the stakes get raised to like Earth destroying for no fucking reason
and whatever. That's fine.
Anyway, yeah, Shazam was not very good.
But they do have fun with it.
I'll give them that.
But when it starts, like the quality of the opening scene in that movie
was so questionable and poor that it's about the kid in the car.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then when we get and then we get to see the wizard,
I was expecting the camera to zoom out to be
the show that the characters in the movie are watching.
Yeah, like it felt like, oh, this is the movie inside the movie.
Yeah. And then it didn't do that.
And I went, oh, no.
Oh, dear.
See, the fun thing about this is that that level of schlock
and look is exactly what I think of when I think of DC Comics.
That is what is in my mind.
Still a better movie than the Bat Soups.
Still better than that.
What conversation are we having where we even need to say that?
Well, because, yeah, because the one where I need to establish
to everybody who's hearing me say this, that
it's not upsetting when you walk out of it.
It's just all right.
I actually really like the tone of that goofy kind of schlocky shit.
It's funny how like it and Captain Marvel are kind of just like
you just walk out of it and you just kind of go, well, that happened.
And they have the complete opposite problems.
And yeah, what is 100 percent opposite?
What is too much fun?
One's not fun enough, but too much fun is not really the right way to describe it.
Got to say, though, I refuse to believe you didn't like
the movie's big emotional twist at the two thirds.
Yeah, no, like the recontextualization of an earlier scene.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, so far.
It's great. It's super goofy and dumb.
Like the and it does something that like maybe if you followed the comics,
there's setups and earlier references to this type of thing happening.
But it does something I completely didn't expect them to do
that kind of allows the story to stay in its own world in a way.
It's interesting.
But ultimately, everything in between those two things I'm describing
is kind of just all right, man.
We get it.
We're doing we're doing weird school shit and we're doing.
Good. Yeah.
Anyway, Wolf.
Oof and Wolf, I'm quite surprised as you brought up that
Spider-Man thing, though.
I didn't know how many people were super on board.
Well, because I really thought that Spider-Man three
just kind of ruined everyone's feelings forever.
Well, we have a mutual acquaintance that I don't know if you follow her on Twitter.
But every single thing I have ever seen her post on Twitter is either one,
how ripped she is getting at the gym or two.
Let's talk about how Spider-Man three is the most underrated movie of all time.
Oh, yeah. Shout out. Shout out to Ziki.
All right. People are crazy about those fucking movies.
She loves Toby. Yeah.
Like with an undying passion, worshipping the cult of Toby.
Yeah, like she's up on that sea biscuit.
Yeah. There's a that's a whole other degree, right?
You can do it, sea biscuit.
I mean, I'm just like, like on the level, like
from there's there's the the the what should we call it?
The fucking Dark Peter is the best thing in the world.
Oh, what? I love Dark Peter.
Oh, right. Wow.
That shit. But that's the perfect.
So bad it comes right back around.
Because he's awful and I get so much of a kick out of how awful he is
and that the camera is like focused on this.
I can see where you're going and I usually agree with you
and we'll have some stuff to talk about later about so awful.
It's good and why sometimes better can be disappointing, I guess.
But I like like Evil Peter in three was like,
I did not expect them to play it that way.
When I when I when I went in, I expected him to be brooding and edgy.
Yeah, Toby.
And I expected him to play like more like the the fucking radioactive spider
blood cartoon where he's just yelling and he's angry.
I'll follow you to the ends of the earth.
So right, I kind of expected that.
And when I got this fucker dancing and girls running away from him,
I think that I think the moment is when he does a slide
and with his arms outstretched and he looks back at two women
and they give him that fucking like, oh, fuck, boy, like, look.
And he goes, yeah, it's like, holy shit, peg of all the girls
at the party holding the cup, looking back at you.
I didn't expect that, right?
So that moment I fucking I crowned it.
You know, I put that one up on the platter.
But, um, yeah, man, I was quite surprised.
I was quite surprised with the distance.
And to be fair, it's been a minute since I've gone.
I've gone back to him.
Also, when you say like the Spider-Man trilogy is like, I don't
I think Homecoming's like fairly weak compared to the other two.
I really like Tom Holland.
Yeah, I really like I like Tom Holland.
I really like Peter Parker being a high school kid that actually looks
like a kid in high school. Yeah, I really like that.
And then he spoils the movie.
I like when he doesn't look like a 30 year old going, hello, fellow children.
Hello, I'm still awkward. How do you do?
I made it to 30 while being awkward and he's a super weird scrawny kid.
And I'm like, yeah, and he's also a child.
Yeah. And like the fucking the the the struggle of the movie
in particular towards like the end when, you know, he's like almost dying.
Yeah. Right.
And I know that I know from from what I've seen on the feedback,
a lot of people are kind of like they don't like it
because Iron Man enables a lot of his stuff.
You know, I kind of felt like the whole point was him going
was breaking out of that and trying to do it his own way.
It's tough because we're like we live in a universe in which Iron Man is
the most popular guy. Yeah.
And which is not the case in like comics.
Yeah. Spider Spider-Man wipes Iron Man's face in his butt.
I don't know what I'm going with.
But but but anyway, but like the like that particular
like moment of like, oh, my God, are we about to watch a teenager perish?
Yeah. And he's crying like a baby.
And I'm like, oh, my God, right.
Yeah, that's that's a kid.
That's your that's Peter.
That really jam. I like that.
That was very, very human and awesome.
I really I enjoyed that a lot.
I thought I thought the teens.
I thought Vulture was done pretty cool.
Oh, like, come on, Vulture's the best.
You know, Michael Keaton's the shit.
Yeah, I think I think Keaton almost made that Robocop movie watchable.
So this is my first encounter with homecoming hate,
because I didn't encounter anyone.
I don't think anybody hates it.
I think it's just like, it's good.
Not based on the feedback I'm getting.
Well, no, of course, of course.
When you go, Toby McGuire sucks
and your childhood memories are wrong, idiots.
That train scene is just the shittiest Jesus allegory ever.
I didn't say that you know, I'm saying it.
I didn't say that right.
People are going to get fucking all upset and shit.
Fucking what's his name? Isn't that?
Joey Diaz is in that scene.
He's he's he's the fucking New Yorker.
So here's the thing, well, you didn't say it,
but when you said that movie's overrated,
they said to themselves for you.
Oh, yeah, everyone heard me saying that there's nothing good in those movies
and they're the worthless and everything.
If you like them, you are stupid.
That's exactly what.
Yes, that's a hundred percent when I said nothing redeemable.
Throw them in the trash. Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, Sam Remy had some good ideas
and then he had some ideas that didn't get to work out
because the studios got involved and pushed because Sony had some ideas
and they said it's just sticks without Spider-Man.
Sure did.
And then we got to see those ideas without Remy.
Pure Sony and you're like with Andrew Garfield and and Jamie Foxx.
That happened.
What a waste of Jamie Foxx.
Like he came up Django and then went right into Spider-Man
and it was like, holy shit, you threw this actor in the trash with this role.
Yeah. So we all learn and I learned, I learned.
But I would definitely be willing to rewatch and see if my feelings hold true
because I'm going off of obviously whatever the fuck those came out.
Yeah. Was it like 19 years ago?
I mean, I'll be quite honest.
Like I fucking hate Kirsten Dunst.
So like those movies are tainted for me.
Oh, man, I wasn't even thinking about her.
Yeah, she was not a good Mary Jane.
Fucking stand.
She was not a good Mary Jane.
Every time. No, no, no, no.
I'm like, every, every time I see Kirsten Dunst in a movie, I'm like,
Kirsten, Dunst, do it.
You're super correct.
And she's a major part of all of them.
She is. Yes.
Even in two where she shouldn't be really at all.
Yeah. Yeah.
So let me catch the defense on that one.
Yeah.
What's his name?
Fucking Harry.
Pineapple Express. What's his name?
Osborne. I'm help. I'm helping in my mind.
I'm I'm trying. You're not seeing me do it, but I'm trying.
Well, I forgot his name. The man.
Why is James Franco?
James. Why is James Franco at my university?
Yeah, James Franco eaten that pie.
Highlight of that movie.
Fantastic. He carries that.
Yeah, there's so many.
There's definitely like these standout moments of like, oh, that was done really
well. Yeah. Oh, that was done really well.
Enough to the point where it's like, yeah, Raimi is talented.
Yeah.
But whatever the fuck cooks were in the kitchen with him,
stewing that shit up forced a lot of dumbness where
despite the fact that two was stronger than one, it ends so stupidly
Yeah.
that it fucking hurts it.
Yeah.
And then you got to deal with, yeah, man, I completely forgot about Kristen
Anyway, whatever second most important character in the films.
It's fine. It's fine.
So anyway, now that everyone's properly chuffed,
now that everyone's primed, primed for anger,
we can talk about the
the anger I got to feel.
And I'm going to just just glaze right over this
because I'm still trying to figure out where to put these in progress
compartmentalized feelings.
But Game of Thrones is shit now.
Is it because of the Starbucks cup?
It's it's not.
Is it because Daenerys likes Starbucks?
It's not because of the Starbucks doesn't like Tim Hortons.
But it is emblematic.
It is emblematic of the entire thing.
The fact that they had a shot where the fucking Queen of Dragons,
the mother of dragons, the breaker of chains herself was sitting at a table
and a cup of Starbucks was right in front of her and nobody caught it.
Shows you where D&D is I watched that clip.
Just the two second clip because, you know, sport, that's where D&D is at.
And I'm just like,
whoo, like it's like, oh, my God, stop bitching.
If I was watching that, I would have gone.
Whoa, wait, what?
I did. I didn't notice it until until OK, chatter actually told me about it later.
And then I did notice I went back to go.
No, that's not to criticize you because it is a two second.
No, because the focus of the shot is on two other characters.
Yeah, it's on what's his face and whatever.
But yeah, but still, like Jesus, it is quite interesting.
Yeah, D&D refers to D.B.
Weiss and Dave, what's his name?
The fucking guys behind the show, the show runners.
Yeah, OK. So Game of Thrones now after now after
we like we had the great disappointment as adventists would say.
And now we've had like the like you have that phase of like, OK,
but wait, there might be a different.
And then no, the follow up, exceptionally stupid writing.
I want to point out just falls apart.
It all falls down and it's the exact opposite of end game.
I want to point out that I watched a good TV show back in the day.
I happened to not catch it when it was airing, didn't whatever.
But then I heard people ranting and raving about how great it was
except for this one bit.
And I watched Battlestar Galactica and that show was amazing.
And then within three episodes of the end, I almost regret watching it.
Wow. It it ends.
If anybody will, you can check the chat right now for people.
Was it anybody's watched Battlestar Galactica, the new one?
That ends the worst of anything I have ever seen.
Worst botch. Yes. You're giving it the crown.
I'm giving it the worst botch. Wow.
It is astonishing.
And it's very clearly because they didn't plan. Wow. Right.
So since then, I then doubled down on my.
Huh, this seems really hot, but I didn't watch it super hard in the beginning.
I'm going to wait till it's over and people have been hassling me
about Game of Thrones for years and years and years and years and years.
And I come in today.
Finish line.
The middle of the last season.
Finish line.
And out at your mouth, go, Game of Thrones sucks now.
Game of Thrones is shit.
And I go, fuck all of you, fuck all of you.
You have hassled me for years
because now I'm going to wait a couple more weeks
and I get to have the talk with people of it ended really badly, didn't it?
But is it still worth it when it's not week to week?
When it's not a conversation piece?
When it's not?
Ooh, what's going to happen when it's just roll on through?
I mean, you would have a story that just ends like shit.
You would have had a good time every Sunday
if you were keeping up during the journey.
The disappointment is so immeasurable in this type of situation.
The anti end game.
It's the it's it's the complete opposite.
Nothing is worse than a disappointment years in the making.
This is this is the start work.
Oh, my God.
It is the complete opposite of a game.
The start work is the start work.
Game of Thrones is the start work.
This is the start work.
All right.
It couldn't go any worse, my dude.
Like laughably at the best part.
The best fucking part is for years, right?
There's always been an aspect where you could go in and start.
You could start going into the theories
and like crafting your explanations for a while.
Where's the is that going to go?
And what and the books would give you a little piece of more.
You take you take the states like this didn't happen.
But I know that this exists.
So maybe they were informed by when you weren't sure why or what went down.
There is always the plausible deniability that it's not what you thought it was
because it's not what it seems.
Yeah, because the story is only half done
and there's plenty of room for explanation or exploration or whatever.
So this season and I don't know when it started, actually,
but I noticed with this season they started immediately.
The moment the credits roll after the credits,
it immediately goes to inside the making of Game of Thrones.
And you go right to the moment.
So what it feels like what they wanted to do is kind of go like
when we got a red wedding type moments, then you go right towards like,
Oh, my God, what were you thinking? How this go down?
Whatever slash if you have any viewers that are not really
what do you want to call it?
Critical viewers, sure.
People that are not really thinking about what's happening.
They're just responding to prompts and action.
Passive audience, passive audience.
They can then get someone who tells them why things happened
and they might pick up on things that their brains or shut up or otherwise.
Right, a.k.a. the people who love the third episode.
So, for example, like in I'm going to dance.
Don't worry, everybody, but in Endgame near the very end,
there are characters that say things that I did not realize were callbacks
to five movies earlier because I was not active enough.
At the time, so like, yeah, so what ends up happening, right?
Willie, you're such an asshole.
You're going for it today.
I have thoughts today's your day in my little baby shoes.
Well, I was woken up by by construction hammering.
Yeah, a little bit cranky.
Well, it feels good to tell them they're stupid.
Just keep going.
So what we get feels so immediately post credits now.
Yeah, is the hard cut interview.
Oh, no, the fucking directors sitting there telling you exactly why
they made the stupid decisions they made.
That is completely explaining the worst justification you could ever imagine
for them, such as we were hoping that the viewer would forget
what they saw 10 minutes prior and shut up, literally.
That's not believable.
We made this decision because we thought it would shock you and be surprising.
Doesn't matter what else was taken into account.
We just wanted to make something.
They give you the reasons.
They literally tell you the shallow, dumb reasons.
That's no good.
You don't even get to have plausible deniability.
You don't get to do the thing you did a couple of seasons ago
where you're like, no, wait, maybe next week might.
Oh, there might be something else because they tell you straight.
I think that we live in a world that I feel fairly confident in saying
that being able to talk to the people behind works of art, creative endeavors,
TV shows, paintings, music, whatever is a massive mistake.
Being able to talk to George R. R.
Martin or J.K. Rowling or the showrunner of your favorite show or whom the fuck ever
accessibility seems like a massive fucking mistake.
It allows them to tell you why the thing that you thought was cool sucks
straight from the horse's mouth.
Yes, it also enabled the growth of this entire industry.
Well, that's different.
We don't make art.
We make garbage fair enough.
But accessibility is a big part of why any of all this exists.
However, however, there is a spoiling aspect to it that a not spoiling,
a ruining aspect that, yes, when you get to hear straight seconds
after your brain is trying to process why they made their decisions.
They just straight up tell you the reasons why and they're the worst reasons ever.
And they're as bad as you think they are.
And then that hurts you extra hard because you go, wait, someone who is
making this dumb of a decision, how did you accidentally do something so cool
so many seasons ago?
And then you start to go, oh, no, was it all grim?
So was it the moment that they stopped having the actual books as source material?
That's when we started getting like, you know what I mean?
But you're like, no, because there's moments where you're like, that was weird,
but I bet it's going to pay off.
And you start questioning the whole you start questioning the whole thing
because you're like someone making this dumb of a mistake doesn't make sense
that you're that talented to go back and also do this cool thing.
So now you're like, is it just that you're a master at adaptation
as opposed to creating it originally?
I don't know, but you have a point.
I just have something I don't know.
I'm I'm I'm I'm formulating and I am listening to you because like when
I'm talking dumb explanations, I gave you two of those.
Yeah, my one of my big favorites at this point is again, in the same vein,
a character who has a character who has encountered a huge
weakness to their ability.
Sure. Right.
Simply forgot that the enemy had found a counter.
Oh, I see.
Is what the directors themselves say.
Oh, they forgot.
And so it wasn't that important when they re-engage with the enemy
and make the obvious mistake and then end up losing.
Yeah, it's because the character simply forgot.
Yes, that the enemy had come up with a solution to their problem.
Great.
This is super awesome.
And you would I would never in a million years assume that I would just assume.
I was like, oh, they were, you know, I went any I went a billion other places
with it when I watched it and I never would have thought that.
And then I heard the director say themselves, yeah.
Forgot, forgot about the kryptonite.
For yeah, Superman forgot the kryptonite and then forgot.
And that's it.
And then the story moves forward.
So this is wild because I didn't want I'm going to use
Battlestar Galactica as an example here because this is my experience
with this thing and it's also much older.
So I feel really so wrong.
Wow. So I feel. Go ahead, bro.
Welcome to my fucking. I know. Welcome to my world, man.
It sucks out here.
Go watch the fucking post interview asshole.
Let's go listen to the fight.
It's turning on.
Oh, listen, yes, rise.
Fuck it, Willie, right?
Yeah. All right.
So Battlestar Galactica, I believe that the interviews with the cast
with the director, with the writers, the showrunners, etc.
All happened after the series ended, right?
Not middle like now, like, you know, like most things.
You talk to them at one DVD release or some shit, right?
And so one of the biggest story elements of Battlestar Galactica
is that the Cylons can look like people and feel like people
and are indistinguishable from a human being.
I still want to go back and watch this.
Someone recently talked to me about some dumb shit that happens.
I'm talking about that dumb shit.
OK, OK, don't worry.
Don't worry. I got you.
I got all of you at home. I'm good at this now.
So the question is the I think it's like episode one or two.
There are 12 people in this story that are actually robots
and there are actually double agents, right?
And have fun and the characters know this as well.
So have fun trying to fucking guess who the fuck is an evil robot
for five seasons, right? Oh, wow. OK.
They get to the final season and there's been some upheavals.
There's been beloved characters and evil villains.
The turned out to be whatever, right?
We're down seven.
There's five to go.
And the final season is all about figuring out who the final five are.
And in fact, that they constantly use the phrase, the final five.
Is this the core of what people like about the show?
No. OK, there's a lot.
I still been told what people like about the show
is that is a submarine drama in space.
OK, you're not taking away from me the reason to watch it right now.
No, OK. But the final five, right?
And then they reveal who the final five are in a big spectacle.
Spectacle. Nice.
That nice French came out for a second there.
That was weird.
And you're like, huh, that doesn't make any sense.
And then after the series wraps, they go, hey,
what happened with the final five?
How come it was these characters that made no sense?
And they go, well, we got to the last season
and realize we hadn't decided who the final five were.
In fact, we had never decided who any of them were up until the point
the episodes in which they were revealed to be the character.
So we just we realized there were only so many characters left.
So we just picked five of them. Yikes. Yikes.
OK, gotcha. Yeah.
Yeah, that's picked him. Yeah, that's that lost shit.
Yeah, that's that lost shit that I can't stand
where you basically build fuck you, mouse.
You build a whole thing on creating cliffhangers.
Yeah, no, no, actual.
And yeah, you you put your creating puzzle pieces
with no receptor for where the puzzle piece goes.
And the problem is, is that if I go back and watch that show,
there are going to be large elements of that show
that are fucking nonsense as a result of later decisions.
You know, our revolver Ocelot and Metal Gear Solid always makes sense at the time.
But if you go to the end of the story,
get every motivation he actually has and go back in time,
realize that nothing he does ever made sense ever at any point
that he ever did it at the time, it's like that.
So none of this has anything to do
with the character that suddenly disappears from the show
because I heard that and I very bad
and somewhat intermingled with what I'm talking about.
OK, because all I heard about that was someone went to go fucking join a cult
and that meant no longer being on the show.
Despite being like the most important character on the show.
It's like if Goku left.
That's wacky. That's wacky.
It's so not that fucking Smallville cult, man.
And it was the same one.
And the way that they leave and then come back,
they come back for like an episode or two and they're like around.
But it's like that's nuts.
And it's it's it's the most poorly explained thing in the whole show
to the point where magic gets introduced.
Oh, my God, fuck magic, fucking Chloe from Smallville, ruined B.S.G.
And oh, dear, it's it's this thing
where like Battlestar Lactica is one of my favorite shows.
I am honestly still. Yeah, it's amazing.
OK, I'm torn.
Like I honestly feel like, hey, watch it.
And at season four at the end of season four, make a decision
which is easier to live with the worst ending to a TV show ever
or not knowing how it turns out.
And by that time, the thing we're talking about, the character leaving,
that has already happened to get the taste of it.
And I would say to you, imagine if that feeling was the whole thing.
So remember how we discussed not wanting to see the things we like
stick around long enough to suck?
Yeah. And we talked about Vagabond and a couple of the things.
Talk about JoJo parts and all sorts of shit.
About Berserk for fuck's sake.
The the the saving grace of the of the of the the cut off, right?
The saving grace of like the fucking
the mercy killing, yeah, right, is that something like
Firefly can happen. Yeah.
Where they come back way later.
Yeah. And just out of these fucking movie.
Yeah. And then wrap that shit up, right?
That's that's the best you can do for B.S.G.
Ends conclusively.
Come back with a serenity and do it, you know.
Yikes.
That's such a bummer because the strength of B.S.G.
is a bunch of old dudes arguing in a boardroom about how they're running out of food.
Like that that's that's the core of that show.
Game of Thrones, like is fucking falling under the weight of its own
popularity and inability to tell a story anymore.
So is it is it suffering from the fact that it's the biggest TV show in the world?
It's it's suffering from the fact that, like, yes.
And as a result of that, like the things that people loved about the show
were how it shat all over
cliched expectations of a fantasy world and how things would play out.
Right. Yeah. So early.
And so this this.
Yeah, here we go. All right. Yeah.
The show in the last season has become
the show where someone saves Ned at the last second.
Right. The thing where you see Ned go down on the block
and everybody is getting ready and they're like, well, there's no way they're going to.
Oh, fuck.
That moment in Baylor from season one for the audience at home
that can't see me because you're listening to the audio podcast.
I've let my neck and head go limp as I listlessly move my head miserably.
That moment where everyone went, holy fuck,
did I can't believe it?
They just did that.
This is the version of the show where someone swings in and saves him
and the story goes on because it's so important.
How many times do we have to do full melanchomists?
And we got to and we got to have, most importantly,
is he's got to get back to his girl because the romance.
You know what, dude? You know what?
Are you in a couple? You're protected by plot armor.
You know what, dude?
I'm just waiting for fucking Game of Thrones brotherhood.
All right.
Well, you're going to fucking get it
because they've already confirmed the prequel series is being made.
I said brotherhood.
I meant the retelling of the real story.
OK, well, with the same act that's happening,
not to mention that these two chuckle fucks
who I used to fucking admire, D&D,
are going on to get their own Star Wars trilogy.
What?
Yeah, the Game of Thrones guys are getting a Star Wars.
Oh, great.
Yeah, that was announced a while ago.
The series that has its own
exact problems to come over that are incredibly similar
to what you're describing to me right now.
Here we go. Wow.
Strap in. That's great.
This news was back when they were still good.
So you would you would you were like, oh, interesting.
Let's see where this goes.
At this point, I just want the Russo brothers
to direct literally every popular thing.
I mean, I wanted I wanted Weedon too,
but then Ultron, unfortunately, you know,
Weedon's got some weaknesses with his directing style,
but he's very good at conversation.
Yeah, but he's weak at everything else.
I don't I don't find so because I really do like
also, that's writing to me.
Yeah, yeah, I really do like, you know, Firefly Serenity.
I I thought Dollhouse was fine.
I thought Dollhouse was OK.
I'm the one of the few that even bothered.
Captain in the Woods was fun.
Yeah, you know, like I ultimately when I think I'm like,
yeah, man, Joss Weedon's good, you know, so.
But it's just no one's perfect.
But I'm definitely not.
But yeah, dude, it really.
Oh, oh, man, it's just and it's not just like
it's the fact that all of these mistakes are happening.
But the clock the clock is ticking
and you never stop looking at the timer
of like how much time is left in every episode.
So you feel the desperation and the mistakes
are cascading into each other.
You know what is the opposite of this?
And I know I know for people who've listened to the podcast for a long time.
This is going to be the third time I repeat it near verbatim.
But Willie, you never watched that third season of Twin Peaks.
I never watched any Twin Peaks.
Yeah, but I'm talking specifically that third one because it is wildly different.
Yeah, that has the opposite problem that you're describing
because whereas in a big budget, fancy popular thing,
somebody comes and saves Ned in fucking Twin Peaks season three.
Ned like kills himself
and then floats off to become a butterfly.
Fantastic. Right.
Because Lynch has infinite control over it.
And you get to the last batch of episodes
where you and you're looking at the clock as you watch it,
going, there isn't enough time to fix this.
It's so weird.
Yeah, it's so weird and nothing's happening.
Yeah, and there are long, long, I remember you bringing this up
in which nothing is happening and you're looking at the clock
and you're like, there are five minutes left to end this series forever.
And you're not you're sitting in a car,
not characters sitting in a car, not talking for minutes.
There's a happy medium to be struck here.
There's a real happy medium to be struck here.
And both of them are bummers,
but at least Lynch's thing.
I can go, well, he got one over on me.
He fucked with me the way like Lynch is like
if Anna was having fun doing what he's.
Game of Thrones is a seventy three hour movie.
Yeah. And at the seventy hour mark, it shits the bed.
Seventy hours in.
It shits the bed.
And then at the seventy one hour,
it fucking loses the plot and you've got two more to go.
Can they save it?
And just look back at those two as the really bad ones.
Here's how here's how here's like here.
The the the hopes of, oh, God, this sucks, but I'm sticking in.
I want to know what's going on.
It's not a band and ship because I need to know.
You're not going to spend a decade.
You need to know.
But but the the the when you walk the moment it cut to the inside,
the making of and you heard those explanations.
The fire in your in your heart dies.
Yes. And the your eyes go from like the flickering reflective ones
to the dead, flat colored ones.
Yeah, the one where the green spot Nipo's eye goes.
It goes away.
That's what happens and you kind of just stop caring.
And the thing where you'd be like, oh, coming next week on game
and you're like, oh, turn it off, turn it off.
We don't want to know. Yeah.
Who the fuck cares? Oh, man.
So now you're you're picking apart those previews.
That's rough because you don't give a shit anymore
and you're looking frame by frame because you're like, how dumb is it going to get?
How dumb is it going to get?
You know.
What's great.
Breaking bad. Oh, yeah.
It was good.
Remember when Breaking Bad had one episode to go
and you're like, oh, man, I hope they stick it.
And then it's like the greatest episode of TV ever.
That's pretty great.
You know what else is great?
Star Trek, the next generation, where the last episode of TNG
is the best episode of TNG.
I don't think I don't think I don't think Breaking Bad.
I don't think Breaking Bad.
Had its I don't think its ending was its strong point,
but it stuck that fucking landing.
It really that's a really strong ending.
The there's these it's the there's those moments where like.
I like I don't know.
I kind of like I'm trying to think back and I'm like, I like the weird
transitional shit where like the the arc changes
like him up in a cabin.
Yeah, I like that.
I fucking like that a lot.
I that I that's apparently.
Apparently Dexter tries to do something incredibly similar.
Yeah, it's a disaster.
I heard I heard I heard I heard about that.
I have I have a friend that's like hard on the Dexter train
and she she she just goes off on how.
Apparently Dexter is another one that just ends like incredibly badly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caught a lot of people were into that for years and years and years.
Nothing's going to top lost.
But I know the thing with lost those.
I've never though I haven't watched it.
Hell, no, I haven't.
I know that it would piss me off.
Oh, yeah.
And I've heard super cool things about it.
Yeah, in terms of like shit I would love.
I heard about shit guys got a steering wheel
and he's fucking piloting an island.
What the fuck is that?
That's wild.
Smoke monsters, bears, the other half of the plane.
And.
No, but there's really there's things I like when someone describes,
for example, like, let's at some point in the future,
well after things have established, we go back and we revisit moments
from by putting the camera in a different place
and seeing how that changes your perspective on things.
Sure. Right.
Following someone else's narrative through the same events.
Sure. Love that.
Rich, rich writing, full of like character building juice.
It's a good idea. Hell, yeah.
But I would fucking lose my mind
at early Dj Abrams bullshit, not knowing where they wanted to go with it.
I would I can't handle that.
I would hate I would hate it the whole way through.
So I don't think I'm ever going to sit and do it.
Anyway, this is where we're at now.
You know, but yeah, I.
I think you should like enjoy.
Watch the first 70 hours of Game of Thrones.
I don't do that.
And then spite watch the last four or three.
We'll see. That shit hurts.
You've seen all the Sopranos, right?
No, I never bothered. Never touched it.
Not really interested.
Not my thing.
It's it's better than you think.
It's not it's just not my thing.
It's not just that I don't I don't care for that.
Like your image is probably just like Jersey Trash Mafia.
Am I wrong? No, but there is more to it.
Sure, I'm certain. Fair enough.
But I just nothing about it is appealing to me.
OK, OK.
You like your your mafia in the in the in the Joe Pesci.
I'm much more like I'll use a wildly different example,
but I'm much more likely to just start watching Initial D
despite my like non-interest in like drift car racing
than I am Sopranos, because I'm just I'm just not interested
in that fucking mafia internal life shit.
Like I don't care for any of those movies either.
I like fucking Joe Pesci, which is why you were right to say that.
Joe Pesci is the shit.
But I don't really care for like good fellows or fucking casino.
I just care for Joe Pesci being insane in those movies.
Sopranos is fucking is up because I bring it up because it's it's
it's up there with Breaking Bad as like sure.
I'll believe that TV's best.
You know what?
I'll use this example that you can empathize with.
Just like I don't care about the entire movie in training day.
But I like seeing Denzel Washington do his crazy shit in that movie.
But everything else that's happening in training day, who gives a shit?
Who gives a fuck?
Oh, the Russians are going to get me for the month.
Who fucking cares?
Have Denzel monologue some crazy shit and then betray you, whatever.
By the way, if you want to find yourself a really enjoyable YouTube hole,
yeah, look up, but look at people on their cell phone cameras
trying to create audition tapes by having themselves read out Alonzo's
final monologue in their living room.
It is so strong.
It is so strong.
They're standing around in their fucking kitchens.
That's awful.
With the jacket on, going, Jake, Jake, that's like that's like the new
I see how it is.
Jake, that's like the new era of like talking
into the mirror like you got a problem with me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So back in the day, it would be like you talking to me.
Yeah, you talking to me.
You thought it would be.
Yeah, it would be a hundred percent.
It would be taxi driver.
They'd fucking just straight up.
Now it's a bunch of shitty fucking dudes on their cell phone
propped up in the bathroom trying to do the goddamn training day monologue.
You know, ah, it's it's fine to find that hole.
If you will, and just dive down it.
There's some fucking amazing ones, man.
Now, to be fair, I'm going to I'm going to try and put a bow in this.
But to be fair, endings are hard.
They are. Um, endings are very difficult.
I was just I was the last thing I was going to say is you can like you can hand
out awards for weakest delivery of King Kong ain't got nothing on me.
Softest spoken, weakest possible deliveries.
But endings are hard. Yes, I agree.
They're difficult.
They take in every mean time.
Yeah, they take planning.
Planning is the important one.
Competence and a real.
Somebody's having a bad day outside.
Yeah, a while bird's eye view.
Yeah, of everything that has happened up to the point that you've reached.
Right. Here's the other bit.
You need to mark a fucking X on the map of where you're going.
Yeah, in advance, that's not the one that we get where because God, OK,
there's there's there's theming in the like
early George R. R.
Martin sense in the show where like shit actually builds on itself.
And then there's that like the fucking last season where they go back
and they grab two random lines of dialogue and use them as justification
for why we're just going to fucking flip it all up. Great.
And endings endings are challenging.
But like you have to have a coherent plan.
And here's the other thing you should probably do.
And I really like this not to fucking keep sucking the end game dick.
Yeah. Right.
But it really is like someone pointed out that it's like people talk about like,
oh, man, where were you when like Star Wars came out and shit?
Like in their era kind of thing.
Like my dad's fucking balls. Exactly. Right.
There was a big deal with that.
It was like a big cinematic event.
Endgame being the first of its kind like this.
It's going to be a pretty huge deal.
Yeah, that's fair. Right.
It's going to be for our time.
It's going to be a major thing and a reference point that's weird to think about.
It is. But for a long while, we didn't even think about it.
But the first Avengers was kind of that reference point.
So this kind of just replaces that in a way.
Yeah. The second hot lie heist growing
grossing movie of all time besides Titanic and it's on its way to beating it out.
Yeah. Right.
So but not that money has anything to do with quality.
But what the fuck was my point?
Yes, got it.
So apparently parts of what helped in like the script coming together there
was despite the crazy like lockdown and security with with like
people not knowing what the ending was going to be and whatnot,
they straight up had fucking janitors and lighting
dudes and sound boom guys on the set going,
hey, can I make a quick suggestion?
I when you know this part when the ancient one is describing the the shit thing.
Why don't you like visually show it?
Because it seems a little bit confusing to just hear her talking about it.
Why don't we literally show the the thing and have a visual of the split?
Movie making is a collaborative process.
In fact, most art is a collaborative process.
The the the Russo's opened up the entire set to suggestions,
to open up the room to suggestions on multiple things and took
ideas that people were, you know, and it's like an obviously too many kicks
as opposed to the broth, right?
But these are not cooks.
It's someone who's a normal audience member working on the thing, just going like this.
Hey, this doesn't look sweet.
What's up here? Right? Yeah.
Um, there's a big.
OK, here's what here's what I'll talk around this.
But remember, remember how they get the the soul stone?
Yeah, sure. OK.
So, um, apparently that was going to go the opposite way.
All right. And.
They had someone on the set that straight up like saw the way that was going to work out
and went that way.
Stupid. Don't rob this character of that moment.
Yeah. Don't rob them. OK.
They deserve it. Yeah.
And to think otherwise is being shitty.
Yeah. Right.
And it also makes the movie better by removed.
Yeah. What?
No, but it was like, it's like, despite the reasons you put on you put on paper
and go, there's why we should go with this one method.
And then they're going to go with that.
It's like someone on the set just kind of went, no, don't don't do that.
You know, and they went, oh, fuck, you're right.
And they and they and they turned and they switched it up and it was way better.
It works out way better that way, you know.
And a couple of things they kind of just were they had other eyes.
They had fresh eyeballs to kind of help out.
It's funny that you mentioned the collaborative process there
because like there's a longstanding, not super confirmed idea that like to the next topic.
I'm not done yet. No, we're not done.
Not done yet.
Jerkoff. This is evergreen shit of the mass spectrology in which they were written
collaboratively like Drew Karpitian wrote the stories and the plots,
but they'd have roundtables between all the leads, right?
And be like, hey, how do you feel about this blah, blah, blah.
And apparently Casey Hudson and the new guy for three
just kind of disappeared for a couple of days and then showed up
or like, this is the ending of our series.
And there was not basically up to debate.
And they junked what is known as the Dark Energy Storyline for a new one about AI.
And we all know how that went.
It didn't go great.
Don't so closed room.
Yeah. Don't.
Hey, here's some tips for your ending from somebody
who's never made anything creative in his life.
Go for it.
Don't don't change horses midstream.
You don't take out a fucking movie.
Oh, like the dog, was it?
Have you seen like the dog?
I've not seen like the dog.
Like the dog's really good movie.
It's about politics.
And it just reminds me that they have these these commercials
and they're trying to find a way to keep a president in power.
Yeah, for a real re-election.
And they just get this old lady and all the they just
and all these old people to just record these political commercials going.
You don't change horses midstream.
OK, no matter how bad it gets, it just reminds me of that.
Well, if you're if the theming and your plot is building towards a type of resolution,
everybody likes a surprise, but kneecapping the work you did earlier
doesn't do you any favors.
Also, us alongside that, it helps if you have a general plan,
maybe not of any specific ending like, you know, an end game.
Like they pretty much knew how that was going to end clearly while back.
But like, let's take something like Full Metal Alchemist, right?
I very much strongly believe, based off of my own nothing,
that the author went, I want this character to be here in this point of their life.
I want this problem to be fixed.
I want this character to be gone, etc.
Right. Mm hmm.
And then wrote towards that goal in the final arc.
Yeah.
Not I disagree with the idea of like writing or creating something
and like, let's just see where it goes.
Like, that's a good way to get something that fizzles the fuck out.
And we play games, man, games fizzle the fuck out.
It is an absurd rarity for a game to have a good ending.
They often don't, especially because most people don't even reach the end of games.
They put all the really cool shit at the beginning.
Props to God of War.
Props to God of War.
Yeah. Props to a lot of games that have strong endings.
Yeah. Props to Witcher 3, actually.
Witcher 3 has like an astonishingly strong ending and that games
infinity long and like half of people don't even get anywhere near it.
Like even and like even like sitcoms that last multiple seasons forever
have this weird moment where they have to figure out how do we wrap this shit up?
And it's kind of always awkward.
It's never not awkward.
How do we wrap this shit up? Oops.
Yeah.
I feel like, you know, like whether you're talking fucking Seinfeld
friends or or Parks and Rec,
it always gets a little bit tonally awkward, you know?
So I was going to say that one thing that last thing came to mind
and it's that something I never realized, right?
There's a there's a video that came out by this dude on YouTube.
His name is Mahler and he does.
Mahler does some fucking review shit.
Yes. That dude is crazy.
I have never seen any of them up until I saw him talking about
season eight, episode three of Game of Thrones.
That dude is nuts.
Thirty seven minutes ripping apart every terrible decision, right?
That dude does like tens of hour long breakdown.
I had no idea.
I had no I had only.
So the first is a crazy person.
I saw this video of this of this like shattering of it.
And what ended up happening was all the things that I had took
grievances with the airing of grievances was addressed, right?
In like him breaking it all down.
And it's a very, you know, it's a very
Yahtzee style, like angry rent kind of thing.
But what also started to collapse was before we get there.
Yeah. Do you know?
OK, you know, H Bomber Guy did that that two hour
long review of Dark Souls two. No. OK.
H Bomber Guy, you're familiar with him because of the Charity Street.
But right, he's a he's a big YouTuber.
He did a two hour long rebuttal to Matthew Matosis's one hour
long Dark Souls two critique, right?
Right. And in H Bomber Guy's Dark Souls two critique,
he fucks a bunch of shit up and gets a ton of shit wrong. OK.
Mahler put out a ten hour rebuttal of H Bomber Guy's
two hour long rebuttal of Matthew Matosis's one hour critique.
OK, this is the guy you were talking about. OK, OK.
This dude will belabor a point to death. OK.
The deepest died. Yes. Inception.
Every sentence was picked apart.
Yeah, like the deepest level, the deepest, darkest fucking
to the old man. Cross reference, chart, shit.
Yeah. Yeah. OK. OK. Got it. Got it. Got it.
Hard Nolan, the triple down skimmed it for 30 minutes and I couldn't.
Well, that explains like why this review went the way it did,
because boy, is it ruthless and granular, would you say?
And so what ends up happening is there's a process and it's it's really interesting.
But when something when you're watching something, you're enjoying.
Yeah, there's all these things that happen regularly
that bother you slash are silly slash don't make sense in the moment.
Yeah, but you forgive it in the moment.
I don't worry about it because overall it's for the it's it's whatever, right?
It's to get to the bigger point of that scene of that arc of that chapter
of that fight of that whatever who shot nice guy, Eddie.
I don't know that shit was dramatic.
I couldn't tell not even like that.
More like why would that army act that way?
That sure, that doesn't make sense.
Yeah. Right.
Why would you do this instead of that?
Right. In some cases, when it's like Prometheus and it's like,
why would you run in that direction?
It's a humongous problem because it's literally the life and death of major characters, right?
But smaller versions of that's the dumbest.
It's the dumbest shit ever.
It's the dumbest shit ever.
It's the dumbest shit ever.
Never got that. Oh, maximum dumb.
You can't pop it. It's the dumbest shit ever.
Never forget. That woman's a doctor in fiction.
Straight lines.
Tangents.
Straight lines.
Permanicular lines.
So. Oh, my God.
What happens is you forgive a lot of it.
Yeah. And when characters like do things in movies
where a monster is in the dark, yeah, but but they're trying to find their buddy.
Yeah. And they go, hey, hey, hey, are you here?
Right. Or shining the flashlight around.
There's a like a fucking ancient.
I think it's Chappelle or Chris.
It's Chris Rock, I think.
But where he describes why people going down to their basement.
Yeah, like, look at here in a strange noise and going, Doug, is that you?
Like anyone expects Doug to go, yeah, that's me.
I mean, your basement. I'm playing a prank on you.
Exactly. Right.
Or shining the flashlight around to let every everyone know everywhere where you are.
Yeah. Right.
The thing that's way like you would be the times where you'd be better off
turning on the fucking lights.
Almost. Yeah, if you could, I don't know, whatever, whatever, whatever.
You forgive these things to get to the next point.
And you just kind of accept that it's like this is movie language.
Right.
Shout out. Characters have to be dumb enough to exist in the story.
Problems have to occur, right?
Let's split up. Why?
Because if we stayed together as a unit, nothing bad could go wrong.
We could physically overpower the threat and the end.
And there would be nowhere for the story to go.
Therefore, let's split up to create weaknesses and create problems.
Right. But. Yeah.
OK, it's all right.
One of the things I really like about it is that like, let's all stick together
so we can beat this clown with sticks. Sure.
That's like a major point in the movie. Yeah.
If we're all in the same room and we all have like pipes and shit.
Yeah. Just beat on this fucking thing.
Meanwhile, fucking nonsense movies that have, you know, I'm watching
that you've seen over time just have these things go down and you're just like,
OK, you're just you're communicating in movie language, right?
And your brain almost just accepts it in a way, even though it bothers you.
Yeah.
Shout out because Steph showed me a video recently that was also about how
characters have moments where like conversationally, no one does the thing.
You know, the anime thing where you walk, stop, your back turned to somebody and you say,
hey, Pat, I'll always be there.
And then you keep walking away.
Yeah, no one does that, right?
Or the thing where we were just talking about this on your fucking stream
about Leon talking to himself and it's like, I do that.
But like not in a fucking situation where there's monsters around
or the opposite where you're walking away and I go, hey, Pat, I go, what?
Don't forget. I will. OK, yeah.
And then, you know, or whatever or moments where like I say something
and then I just look off into the distance and I go.
You know, witty quip, witty quip.
Like no one talks that way.
You know what?
Actually, you remind me of.
But it's movie language.
It's a total non sequitur.
The one of the very first things in Pillars, too.
You get a dialogue option where you wash up on a beach and a guy goes,
dude, what's going on?
And one of the you can tell him all like what's actually going on.
And one of them is stare wistfully out at the ocean for a moment before
turning to him and go, the gods have charged me with another.
Do it. And it's like, that's really.
Well, he's taking things too seriously again.
No, I'm trying to just I'm trying to explain a point in an entertaining
fashion. Relax. What I'm trying to say, if your butts weren't so hurt,
you'd be more entertained.
What I'm trying to say is that we get used to these things, right?
And a lot of the times if you end up enjoying the content at the end,
you completely forget about those moments because you put them in gray life.
Yeah, they're gray life damage that wasn't a real hit.
It healed back up because we got to the credits and it was fantastic.
And you go, hey, how come they didn't climb out of the thing?
You got to worry about it, whatever the characters were stood.
They were they were scared, right? Whatever.
No, and it's fine. Yeah.
But when the when it ends in catastrophe, yeah, all of that contextual,
like this is dumb, but I'm putting it away to enjoy where it goes.
Shit, all that damage comes rushing back at I think the the bigger problem
with me, the way I would phrase it in a story is like,
if you show me that the character is smart enough to realize something
that I'm not smart enough to realize, but then show that they're dumb enough
to make a mistake that I would never make, yeah, I have a problem.
Exactly. And a very good excuse in many cases will be,
hey, man, just turn your brain off.
You know, I don't want to watch it that turns my brain off.
Sometimes, sometimes I look like I have used that phrase.
Sometimes I understand.
I understand they like turn your brain off.
Don't worry about it.
Just sit back and enjoy the ride, right?
I literally guess what we're talking about.
Depends on what you're talking about.
You're saying fucking fast and furious, Hobbs and whatever the fuck.
Hobbs and Shaw.
Yeah, yeah.
Turn your fucking brain off, fucking brain off, all the way.
Yeah, leave it at home.
Yeah, don't even bring it.
Yeah, don't put it in your bag.
Don't do it.
Don't be a Barney brain bringer.
Yeah, fuck you.
Yeah, get on your phone and then turn your rigor way the fuck out.
Turn it up.
Susie seat kicker.
Hell yeah, fuck yeah.
Dump this popcorn all over the kids in the front row.
Fuck them.
It really is that that does happen.
But all that great damage that you suspend comes back.
And the point I'm bringing up is that Mahler addressed every single one of those
tiny things that I saw and went, no one does that.
But anyway, and kept like that.
That was the end of it.
Yeah.
And then he brings all of those back and you realize the whole episode is a critical
string combo of undropped botch the whole time.
And then they cash it in, apparently.
They cash the damage in at the last second.
They really do.
You know, they lock out a couple of times.
Like it's like something smart is about to happen.
Press the wrong button.
Lock out.
Shadow counter.
Like they fucking cash all the damage in.
And the things that I wasn't bothered by because I was like, oh, yeah,
whenever TV, like it comes back and I go, oh, that really was that dumb, huh?
Yeah, I didn't you know, and it's a funny thing.
It's funny because it's it happens in everything.
The real things you enjoy.
I was talking about it earlier, but like look at Revolver also a lot.
Look at where he ends up at the ends of some of those stories.
And you go.
But the journey was fine.
And he goes, listen, he knew the thing that he just revealed to you.
All the way back then.
So if he knew that, why the fuck did he do any of the shit in between the part where
you reveal whatever, and you don't care because you had fun.
Yeah, and it was fun all the way and it ended well.
Why did you get in my way and all that stupid shit happened?
Whatever, fuck you.
It was fun.
It's like, why?
Why did you get in my way, though?
Yeah, why didn't you just let me?
Why didn't you just let me complete almost any game ever?
You know, because we got to have a boss fight and I got to also feel good about
the fact that I think I'm better than you.
I don't know.
Wow.
Oh, they told you about that, huh?
I think so hard.
So, yeah, it was that was a fun that was a fun watch that properly I felt.
I feel like squeezes all the blood out of that stone.
Um, and it really was also fun to see, um, that the the last seven days has
been a lot of people that, you know, the casual viewing audience, not casual.
What was the term?
Passive audience, passive audience, the passive audience.
No, shut up.
It's great.
What is it?
Because like, what's a hardcore audience, right?
But, uh, no, yeah, yeah, no, media consumers, uh, or I hate going down this
road because it seems so up your own ass.
Whatever.
It makes you seem like you're like your own ass.
Yeah, like, like that guy in undergrads, it's like, I watched the movie
good continuity error, right?
No, there, there's two ways you feel like you're up your own ass and you're
high-browing, there's two broad ways to enjoy a work either actively or passively.
And they are not better or worse.
One is just more involved than the other isn't.
Right.
If you watch Game of Thrones, you had a great time fucking good for you.
I wish I could do that sometime.
So you get all these and it doesn't make you dumb.
It just makes your priorities different.
Watch a couple of videos of some people watching it in a bar.
And then when the one moments, exciting moments happen, they go, yeah, and cheer
because it's cool.
Yay.
Good thing.
Fun.
And, um, and, and I think the reason it makes you set up your own ass is because
you in general are up your own ass.
It's quite possible.
Fair.
It's quite comfy up there.
It's, you know what?
I like to be on a high horse.
You like to be up on your own ass in your up on your own ass.
That's what I said.
I'll stick to it.
I always, I always consider the ground an option, my friend.
I always consider the ground or an option.
It's why I'd have you sit there and tell me nonsensical time travel theories
and go, maybe, maybe I'm wrong.
Yeah, maybe.
But in the back there, you're like, that's fucking stupid.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
But I expect the call out to happen the moment I hit that stop button.
Oh, yeah.
Like it, like it might.
Like it totally did.
The only difference is a couple of years ago, I'd be nervous about it and now
I don't care.
Yeah, just soaking it, soaking the garbage.
So it's fine.
The juice is fucking seeping into you.
Garbage chat juice.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Enjoy it.
Yum.
That fucking shot of Luke just going, give me that fucking milk.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's me.
You know what it reminds me of?
You know, you see fucking, I must have Luke Skywalker fucking Mark Hamill
just fucking trolling the fuck out of people on social media.
Just being an asshole about Star Wars.
Star Wars is fucking stupid.
I have not.
He described, hey, hey, Disney came up to me and told me to fucking stop doing
that and I told him to go fuck themselves.
Because what are they going to do?
Fire me?
I'm Luke Skywalker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
That's great.
There's the fact that six days ago, a lot of folks were basically going,
no, I liked it.
It was good.
It's fine.
It was action packed and fun.
And you guys are haters and whatnot, right?
And in some cases, there was those bigger defenses and more and more
sensical arguments that were mounted to the point where people created
a civil war gift of all the heroes on one side with text attached to them
for why it was bad and others attached to say why it was good fighting
with each other.
And in one week, we got the follow up and it really just brought everybody
onto the side of, oh, no, it's actually so the problem with that, right?
It is because like no one's ever going to convince you of the feeling
that it's turning to shit, that it's actually not turning to shit.
Just turn your brain off.
That's never going to happen, right?
No one's ever been convinced to return their brain off or not
think critically about it.
The problem is, is that most of the people who enjoyed it just fine and call
you a hater, you are actually actually trying to take their fun away from them.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You're trying to ruin it for them.
Oh, yeah, I totally understand that because I've had these moments of like
things I enjoyed later later on coming back and going like, no, but that doesn't
make any sense.
They want to go, oh, fuck, I didn't enjoy that.
But I still have this.
It was a mistake to be happy, but there's ghost happy inside of me, right?
Like there are two parts, Patrice and Neil and face off, face off.
Oh my God.
Face off his ass.
You're like a fucking three, four minute break down.
That movie is shit.
He went from loving it to hating it.
You turned me on face off.
God bless.
That fucking hand thing.
The fucking hand thing, dude.
Oh my God, it's terrible.
Really?
No, no, it's like, you know, I have those moments where I just I'm thinking back to like,
uh, the there's two, two fucking rad moments in the last Jedi that I'm like, man,
those moments were good.
Yeah.
I think I think a red letter media is a breakdown of one of those moments is the
best where the movie fails that moment itself or the coolest thing that has ever
happened ever, ever happens.
And it cuts to a group of characters with extras just chatting in the background,
like they don't give a shit.
Oh, yeah.
And it's like, that's the craziest thing that has ever happened.
How do you not care?
Easily, easily.
And in the same vein, because Star Wars is a great place for this,
the fucking the the end of Rogue One, right?
Yeah, that's cool.
The end of Rogue One, I was fucking in.
I was so in and Red Letter ruined it.
Right?
What?
No, oh, no, because they're late.
Why would he stop breathing for dramatic surprise?
Oh, because who does that?
Anakin's the edge lord.
He did it for fun.
And I'm like, God fucking damn it.
That moment works cinematically, though.
No, it shut up.
Ah, you know, I got so mad.
He did it because he was so mad because he was so right.
It was Anakin's the edge lord.
He did it because he thought it would be cool.
I fucking I literally I clapped.
I clapped when I saw him.
And then it turns out to be pointless.
Oh, no.
And I'm still like, oh, but it was so fucking like asking other teeth.
Anyway.
Yeah, so a big old week of disappointments.
And that's that.
You know, I was going to maybe say a thing or two about R2 and MK 11,
but I'm good.
Yeah.
But R2 did continue and good game close to close to beating it.
I'd say last session went way smoother.
Much went pretty quick.
And despite some people, you know, calling it the snail through
beforehand, I don't think that was.
You say the first.
I do not think the last session was accurate to that.
Positively normal.
Yeah, like comparison.
And I and I feel like I cleaned house.
You're also apparently psychic now on that boss and on those locks.
And I fucking ate it to a pretty good ambush.
Yes, you do.
So I think we did right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, if you would like to check that out, that's over on my Twitch.
That's Willie versus.
But you can also check out the YouTube channel,
Willie versus where parts will be going up alongside the wonderful one
on one and other fun things, other shit, other stuff.
Yeah, what's going on?
Hey, man.
So I honestly didn't really have that much of an interesting week.
I woke up at 6 a.m.
today and spent the the entire day up until coming to this podcast.
Modding Skyrim.
As well as most of yesterday.
I why would you go back to that place in your life?
Because I'm going to do a stream of it later this week.
Vampire, the mass grades ending.
And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck I want to play.
OK. And I'm like, I fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.
So I have like 221 mods installed in Skyrim right now.
Is one of them the macho man?
No, damn it. No, it's all lore appropriate.
Oh, one of them is like, man, people,
I don't understand the fucking mentality of some of these people,
because like you get into a fucking like the texture mod hole
and you're like, there's a guy out there who's like,
I can't believe these fucking hand carts aren't 4K textured.
And that's the mod.
The mod is for the hand carts.
Can I ask a very
like white bread question?
I don't really know what you mean by that in that context.
But yeah, ask any question.
Is Skyrim good?
Yeah, Skyrim is great. OK.
And in fact,
so Skyrim is mechanically simpler than Oblivion,
but it is like better than.
Sorry, mechanically simpler than Morrowind,
which is the one that everybody compares it to.
But yeah, no, Skyrim is great.
What about Oblivion?
Oblivion's boy, that didn't hold up well.
That game coasted on the fact that it was the next gen title.
But like everything about that game looks like garbage
and has the worst main quest ever.
And the the land mass is really uninteresting overall.
So it gets terrible.
So each one got better moving forward.
No, Morrowind is probably the best one,
but it's unplayable now because it's like a fucking PC game from 2000, whatever.
And it's one of those games where you swing the sword
and the game tells you you missed and you're like, I fucking hit him.
And they were like, well, your one arm skill sucks shit. OK.
So you missed. OK.
No, Skyrim is a great game.
It's a legitimately great game,
and it's probably going to be the best game that Bethesda ever made.
And in fact, I'll say it's probably the last good game
Bethesda will probably ever make, which is really depressing.
No, it's a great game, legitimately.
Main quest is a little weak and there's some problems,
but no, it's good.
But yeah, I decided, hey, fuck it, stream that shit.
And I got it all working.
Got all working. OK. How many mods to 20, whatever.
Most of the vast majority of those are texture mods.
So you get you get your big texture mod, the textures, everything.
But then you go and get I want my my horse texture mod.
Now I want my weapon texture mod and I'll override it.
You just want to make sure you don't accidentally leave like one thing.
It looks like a piece of shit.
So that's just fairly impressive.
The one interesting thing like wants to invade us on discord
to shout at other things.
I closed it, asshole.
You can't come in. Fuck you.
He wants it.
So when we're talking about the storyline shit,
he wanted to talk about Voyager episodes.
I close that shit and I'll be real.
We need to devote like an hour of podcast time
if we want to fucking talk about Voyager episodes, because that's trash.
Someone told me to watch Discovery because they thought I'd like it.
I don't know if that's that person thinks you're an asshole.
I asked that person.
That person is missing you.
And he said, I don't know why they would, but I don't know.
That person dislikes you secretly or not.
Well, one thing and I think this is a fairly good leading,
considering we talked and talked and talked about having a plan for your art.
Paige and I last night watched the Sonic 06 fan dub.
I don't know if you've seen this shit walking around.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Of the whole game?
Of the whole game.
It is an hour and a half long movie.
OK, it's a video.
OK, OK, it's not the game modded.
No, no, it's a video of all the cutscenes.
I don't even remember the group that did it.
Uh, you but you can look it up with Sonic 06 fan dub.
This is the most accurate representation of like early college.
Getting tired, making jokes over a movie ever.
Just the stupidest fucking shit.
OK, hold on a second.
Are we talking like parking lot?
No, well, no, was there dubbing it?
But was this dubbed in the parking lot?
No, no, no, it's a it's a proper, proper internet group that do funny, funny jokes.
OK, OK, just like Shadow the Hedgehog yelling at people that he's the alpha
gamer and that he needs the chaos emerald weed to get out of the friend zone shit.
Just the stupidest thing.
And yeah, it's weak and it drags because man, an hour and a half one
session long improv thing.
Oh, it's improv.
Yeah.
OK.
Is going to be rough, but there's some gold in there.
There's some dumb fucking gold in there.
OK.
Oh my God.
So fucking stupid.
It's an experience.
OK, it's a dumb.
You want to shout out the people that made this?
I don't know who made it.
Why don't you quickly look at it?
Oh, I could look it up.
Um, I mean, I assumed that I could feel it in my bones.
This is made by snap cube.
OK.
Yeah, I could feel it in my bones that you guys are up to some sonic bullshit.
Probably.
There's a lot of sonic bullshit going around.
It's time.
It's time for sonic.
Now, with my week done and the advertisement that I'll say, you could check out more of
me at my week at twitch.tv slash angriest pat.
That's twitch.tv slash angriest pat going to finish vampire the masquerade tomorrow,
then play yakuza.
And on Friday, wait, Friday, yeah, Friday, it'll be the start of the Skyrim fuck through
with this mods.
Hopefully the thing doesn't catch on fire with the end of that shit.
Let's move on to sonic.
You got to tell me it's the most important piece of news this week.
I mean, part two of the story is way more interesting than part one of the story, but
part one of the story must be told.
So the sonic trailer came out for the sonic hedgehog movie.
It sure did.
Proving, unfortunately, that not even Jim Carrey can carry the world.
There is going to be a.
There's going to be a few times in the industry when a movie trailer comes out for this or
the Mario movie and maybe like a Zelda thing, sure, where like it is everyone's immediate
concern how good or bad this is the most important thing that's in video games right
now, period, and it's a movie, right?
It's like the impression upon watching the sonic trailer was that like that you fell
into a time portal.
There's no way there is no way that the people making this are not doing so knowing how bad
and dumb it looks like this is something that you that's not the real one.
Is it?
This is the trailer on the official you need to mute it immediately.
OK, OK, you need to mute it immediately.
That's it muted, so you would never that trailer is death.
Yeah, for streams and YouTube.
So you would straight up never assume that a video like this or a character designed
like this based on this property is not coming out of the year 2002.
It's it's a time warp.
It's outrageous.
It's all the mistakes from 18 years ago happening in glorious 4K.
It's wild.
And you got you got Jim Carrey on board somehow.
We talked about it when it first happened, whatever.
Holy shit, fast fucking forward to before we go that it's like got to go fast is now
the real tagline of actual sonic.
Yeah, but that's why I thought because the son of first of all one the sonic Twitter
guy making fun of Sonic himself the whole time.
Yeah, right.
You think that's just don't freeze the frame on his fucking disgusting freak
and the whole got to go fast thing makes me think I was like, Oh, are they going to
make this a self aware thing that they're acknowledging how horrible it is?
And it's no just that moment.
All right.
So it really is this because Venom is a great example of an old
super superhero movie that leans into it in a way.
And I'm like, are they going to lean into it?
And I guess they did they did so fucking creepy.
So, man.
Jeff Fowler, the the self-proclaimed master of creative potatoes and tamer of hedgehogs
tweeted out to say thank you for your support and the criticism.
Oh, man.
The message is loud and clear.
You aren't happy with the design of Sonic the Hedgehog and you want changes.
It's going to happen.
Everyone at Paramount and Sega are fully committed to making this character the best
he can be. Hashtag Sonic movie hashtag got a fix fast.
So, OK, apparently Sega and the fucking Hollywood assholes have been fighting
for years over the design with Sega being like.
This looks like a fucking freak is a shit pile.
And I'm going, no, man, movies.
You just got to understand movies, man.
And then this happens.
They fucking hid this design from us until the last second.
They showed you his shoes.
And every time they showed anything, everyone went, oh, that looks all.
And they waited till the last second they could possibly do because they assumed
that people would hate the design and there'd be a back crash backlash.
But they didn't expect it to be like world trending universally reviled as it was.
And now they have to fix it.
It's a legendary moment in tone deafness.
Yeah, everyone internally.
I will put my fucking life on it, told them this thing sucks.
And they said, let's just let's find.
Don't worry about it.
So there's a there's a thing happening now where people are.
Ultimately, it's like people yelled enough and they went, please.
And they're like, OK, fine.
A couple of reactions include some folks going.
They probably planned it to be this awful to make this happen on purpose.
Non sense, which is you might as well tell me about the Flat Earth dome while
you're at it. Yeah.
And then there's the folks saying that, like, but this means shitty crunch
for a bunch of animators that they wouldn't have had to work.
Like the paraphrase, the tweet that I saw earlier this week, which is,
I think that the Sonic in the Sonic movie looks awful.
Oh, so it is you who holds the whip to the backs of the animators, right?
Yeah, like, no, me saying Sonic looks like a freak azoid nightmare
is not me saying crunch those motherfuckers into dirt.
It's actually me saying I can't wait to see this fucking pile of shit.
And I can't believe it got this fucking bad before they actually showed it to us.
Yeah, I mean, I would rather they keep this freak azoid shit.
I mean, quite frankly, your those points are not mutually exclusive.
You can delay a movie and continue to pay your.
You could do those things to make the movie not look like it's my fucking
responsibility to play nice with some exec suits, fucking feelings.
Yeah, you don't.
But but at the same time, like saying that it looks bad,
doesn't mean that they have to abuse their artists.
They can, you know, try to fucking give them more time on the clock
and continue to pay them to make it look not like fucking hedgehog.
It is a ridiculous fucking
intellectually dishonest train of thought.
Yeah. And it is the new way that people are defending
their favorite companies by saying, don't criticize them
because then they'll crunch the people and it's like, fuck off.
I would criticize what I want.
I think it would be more accurate to say intellectually short-sighted
because it's like you give people too much credit.
It's it's such a like you're drawing a connection
where you want there to be one because you're looking at your end result.
And that's all you're thinking about.
So you're just going line point a point B and that's it.
However, it's it's it's there and it's the redirection
and it's the misdirection of the blame.
Like we talked about the plastic bottles the other day.
It's you know what I mean?
It's like things sucks.
Studios don't get.
No, it's the artists that have to get whipped, cracked on them.
And then there's no other way around.
Anyway, that's not the point.
The actual looks like fucking shit.
And and the real point is part two of the story,
which just was a nice fucking tickled everyone pink when
Yuji Naka himself came out to weigh in on the events.
To which he tweeted, the power of Sonic fans is amazing.
It is good to go in a good direction.
Thank you so much for Loving Sonic.
That is the most happy and like conflict free way to say,
Holy fuck, that trash fire was garbage.
Thank you so much for making them change it.
I'm not going to pretend to know a lot about Sega's corporate structure.
Or Yuji Naka's place in it.
Apparently that shit's run by the Yakuza.
But you can't possibly fucking tell me that when the creator of a decades
old character that the shit's based off, who still fucking works
at Sega and make Sonic games that make money.
Comes out and says, oh, thank God that shit ain't happening.
That Sega didn't enter into a fucking Faustian bargain here.
Like Sega clearly had some ideas and they got brushed the fuck off
by Hollywood types as they do, as they do.
We're making them that they don't know how to fucking make a movie.
Yeah, we're making John Leguizamo Mario Brothers in 2019.
This this here is why Nintendo wasn't as crazy as many think to swear off film.
Like what, 25 fucking years ago after the Mario Brothers movie?
Because it's not that you can't make a good movie.
It's that Hollywood won't let you make a good movie.
The machine is too hard to tame, right?
The only way to marvel barely did it.
The only way to do it is like you take Castlevania, who made it?
A bunch of people who just said, man, I fucking think Castlevania is dope.
Let's make a Castlevania, everybody.
And it's not a big budget, the hundred million dollar fucking movie.
Yeah, it's.
It's it's it's quite it's quite amazing that that's how this is shaping up.
But like, yeah, usually not to himself weighing in.
And then, of course, now, like the other thing is because this is not
like because it's just a pure fucking render issue, it's like you can take
you can you can throw you can show us like four test renders right now.
You know, and then see how everyone feels about them and then pick the winner
and just the most you render the movie.
The most artistically bankrupt shit ever.
Yeah, like now would you go for
the proportion correction? Would you go for the eyeball correction?
Would you? There are some designs, some fans, by the way, winners.
There's I would like to point out that this sonic shit has shown everyone
once again that independent amateur artists are everywhere apparently.
And they're all amazing because there have been a thousand fucking amazing
variations to the exact design, make his proportion slightly different.
Same design looks a million times better, changes eyes to be a furrowed brat.
Well, all these fucking they're all great.
And the only reason why is because Sonic is a weird cartoon idea.
Yeah, it's not a thing.
He's based off of fucking Mickey Mouse.
He wears white gloves like a cartoon because that's how they're drawn
because showing you Mickey Mouse's hands are weird and creepy.
So this isn't thing people knew back in the 1930s.
So just making this thing resemble the weird cartoon idea in our heads.
Brings it closer to what you want to see.
He's always going to be a weird cartoon.
Always, always can't take that away from it.
I I I think between the set of changes, because you can like if I'm going to
split it down, I want to know why you feel about it.
Personally, if you had to change, if you could only change one aspect.
And we're talking creepy fur, creepy proportions,
creepy teeth and flesh, the teeth, the teeth.
Or the or the mono eye, you split eye.
It's the fucking teeth.
The teeth are the worst.
Yeah, the teeth are the horrible.
For me, it would be the proportions.
I think the proportions is what bothers me the most.
The human teeth are a fucking nightmare.
Because I remember that the teeth on.
What was it?
Was there a render from Sonic 06 with a really goofy thing of him going like
and he's seeing all these weird.
Yeah, he's got a mono tooth as well.
I'm thinking of something where you see a bunch of teeth in his mouth
and it looks weird, but I don't know what it was from.
Anyway, that's your vote.
Yeah, the teeth are bad.
OK, the the fucking I say.
I'm going now with like a perfect row of human teeth is just
Sonic's never drawn with teeth.
You know why? Because it looks like shit.
It completely fucks up the silhouette of his face and the color proportions of his face.
The other problem is Sonic is a bit like Homer,
where his mouth is meant to be on the side of his face.
Yeah.
Because there's a big like flesh orb where the mouth is.
Is a is a character that has literally been designed from scratch
to only be viewed from the side.
So when he turns his face to look at you from the front and his mouth is still on the side,
it's fucking weird.
But it's also why Sonic Adventure, like talking animation was extra strange
because it would be like, wow.
Yeah, it's hyper animated.
It's fucking goofy.
But it's really just meant to be a hole on one side of your cheek.
I would love to see a fucking Sonic movie directed by Negoshi.
Lots of long pauses, Sonic's smokes now.
Oh, that'd be great.
Yakuza, man.
OK, Negoshi. All right.
He's a big deal at Sega.
Those games come out every year.
I know, I just don't know the name.
You know, Yakuza is a fucking annualized franchise.
Is a what? It's an annualized franchise.
That makes sense.
But like, you know, the feel like it.
Yeah, that makes sense, because I've been between fucking hearing
about six of them, then zero and then Kiwamis.
I that sounds like a lot of video games, Shin Shin.
Yeah, because of and then the online game.
Didn't I can't believe I guess this is the North Star.
Three just sold that well, huh?
Three was a disaster.
So where did all this money come from?
What do you mean?
To become an annualized franchise.
You got to be. Oh, no.
One and two and three and four.
They all they all did really, really well in Japan.
Out here, there were colossal failures.
Four did OK, I guess.
Yeah, no, they did really, really, really well in Japan.
OK. Well, anyway, speaking of.
Japan doing well.
We got some news.
Which is pretty fucking awesome to me.
Everyone in Japan just found a hundred dollars.
Platinum is going to start self publishing its games
with new IPs that they owned a boot so that they can make their own sequels,
even though they kind of originally said sequels.
No, you know, not really our thing.
Or that was more so Kimia that actually said that.
Whatever, man, they got jerked around so fucking bad over the past couple of years.
They need to own their own shit.
But they've they've knocked out enough bangers
that they've made enough money as guns for hire.
That they can now now the the PMC,
that is Platinum Games, can become Zanzibar line, make its own country
for soldiers and outer heaven for all who are wary.
I still firmly believe that they'll probably do work for hire
because Platinum, of course, you do, are masters of making amazing games
that don't sell. Of course, they are the greatest ever at the critics, darling.
You 100 percent take in outside
solicited IPs that people want to have fucking cool action for
vanity projects, if you would.
Yeah, Platinum makes the new dead space.
Oh, that'd be hot.
But obviously, as we talked about before, Square found the formula,
which no big fucking secret.
If you combine them with narrative genius, you get a masterpiece.
No, you just need to give them narrative genius.
No shade to be thrown on the story in writers over Platinum, but.
They should combine them with narrative genius, like narrative genius
being provided for Platinum equals absolute fucking treasures.
Absolute treasure.
That near game is going to last.
It is the weight of the fucking world, Pat.
God, you have to tell me a new way before you.
I know.
Just it's great.
Hey, you ever listen to that track and you have like a you're like,
I love this song and then you have like an emotional outburst
that you weren't prepared to have.
And you're like, I should not listen to this out of the house.
Oh, like it hasn't happened yet.
But I've had that with with some other things, for sure.
Yeah. Yeah, it's like, oh, the songs grow.
Oh, oh, oh, I'm having a weird emotional reaction on the metro right there.
Yeah, yep, yep, yep.
Let me try.
There's definitely something that's given me that.
Uh.
Certain certain soundtracks do that to me.
But I have a hard time.
Yeah, I can't pull any.
I can't have a hard time pulling it up right now, but there's definitely.
Yes, I get I get those.
Yeah, you have to fucking.
Oh, hey, we're listening to the subverse main theme.
You had the most orc action.
Oh, God, I've gotten it for I can't.
I'm just going to sit here and try to remember what it was,
because that's not the point.
But the yeah, platinum.
The news is that they sat down and they interviewed.
Platinum over at Video Games Chronicle and in ABBA basically said,
yeah, we're going to shift to an ethos of self-publishing.
It doesn't want to depend on external publishers
because it takes authority out of their hands.
Yeah, we have a lot of different choices
in the way that we want to make games and they value having freedom.
So the biggest sticking point seems to be concerned when sequels get made.
It's simple and quite frankly, the case with Bayonetta.
It took a lot of time and energy to get to the point where sequels could be made.
It wasn't as simple as picking up the phone and asking, hey, can we do this?
There are a lot of pieces that need to fall into place
and a lot of negotiating that had to occur.
It's absolutely the truth that there are cases where you want to do a sequel,
but you don't own the IP, you cannot do it.
Yeah, it sucks.
Bayonetta, you know, they had to wait for Sega and Nintendo.
To all talk and blah, blah, blah, to make the magic happen.
And this like, they're just like, we're fucking here waiting.
We've probably already written it.
The GDD is sitting there.
Just let us get to it.
And let's not even talk about working with Konami.
No, let's not.
I believe that game existed.
So.
Or or working with Microsoft for that matter.
Yeah.
So the other part of this interview, good reason to self publish.
So that's great.
Twenty nineteen is an important year for Platinum,
because the other part of this interview is they had two original IPs in the works
and the other thing that Inaba said is one of them
is a game idea that has never been done before.
I don't believe him.
You think it's just a twist on an idea that's been done before?
That's never been done before.
No one's ever done an action game with robots.
You know, that's what I hear when I hear how far out of their wheelhouse
are they possibly going to go?
We got they made infinite space.
We got infinite space.
So that's pretty far.
How far out, you know, that's the question.
Will it will it be?
Even a game with combat in it?
Yes.
Well, like at what point, like, what does this idea mean?
Let's let's get the actual quote.
Right now, we're in the middle of designing something that's never been done before.
I know a lot of people say that, but the game we're working on truly
is unlike anything else.
Even for our varied history of veteran game developers,
this is something that has never been designed before.
From a game design perspective, we're very excited right now.
I don't believe it's like this is the this is fucking this is
it's sooner on stage.
You know what I mean?
Just going, no, you know, even with what you're thinking of,
you couldn't possibly fathom the shit we got cooking.
He's pushing this way hard.
He's not saying to exceed your expectations,
but he's saying from a game design perspective,
never been done before.
I don't believe him.
Is there a character action MMO?
No.
All right.
Is the closest thing we ever got?
Anarchy reigns.
Yeah, we might be getting anarchy reigns is actually completely unique.
There is no game like it ever.
Black Desert is a very action based MMO
where you do a bunch of shit and then the Russians lose your server progress.
But your character looks so fucking hot, dude, so hot.
I think we might be getting a character action MMO.
Well, that has been done.
Blade and soul is that is it?
Yeah, I just thought of it.
People are also pointing out shit like Vendictus.
I don't know what the fuck that is.
OK, but blade and soul is yeah, it's a character action MMO. OK.
Well, replace also a shitty Korean MMO.
But hey, OK, because I was going to say,
you need a way to fight things that don't have to.
You need a way to fight things for real
where you can juggle enemies and not fucking hit them for numbers.
You got a point.
So it's got to be it's got to, you know what I mean?
That's got to be what is actually never been done
is a fighting game MMO.
That's not true.
King of Fighters Online, Korea.
Man, Korea's got that shit on lock back in the early aughts.
You could walk around as Terry, Kim Kapwan,
Mai and then the two twins,
Jaehoon and Donghwan, because Korea and you find somebody
and then you both agree to a duel
and then the camera rotates and you play as a fighting game.
Dungeon Fighter Online, people are saying.
Dungeon Fighter Online, I thought that was a online beat him up, though.
Right. I might be mistaken, but Min plays a lot of DFO
and he's always described it to me as an online beat him up,
not an online fighting game.
But yes, I don't believe him at all.
He'll be like, no one's ever done this with guns before, like.
Is it just going to be character action
plus genre that we're not expecting? Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Yeah. All right.
They make one type of game.
They do. Not really.
They had a director on Infinite Space
that never worked on anything again at Platinum.
And technically, they they have credits on on Star Fox.
So asset creation.
So that's what they're doing.
We got.
Meanwhile, over.
Stateside and down in the U.S.
with their America pals. What up, America?
You got your boy, your boy, Randy.
You remember Randy?
When we last left, Randy, his name is Randy,
dude, like, come on, like when we last left, Randy, what was he up to?
Oh, misplacing some shit.
Well, and before that, he was talking about how much
people were making pornography of his game that no one was playing.
And before that, he was defending one of the most shoddily released pieces of shit ever.
And before that, he was stealing Sega's money to cancel the game
and then Funborder lands to and then before that, he was a magician.
God damn it, Randy, those were perfectly good chicken fingers.
What's Randy up to now?
Well, apparently arguing with Claptrap
is he's doing a lot of stupid shit this week, actually, in public.
Because David Eddings implied that he was not coming back.
Well, why you got to fuck Randy on this, man?
Hey, I'm just I'm just why you got to fuck Randy.
Hey, I'm not. I have no interest in fucking Randy.
I'm just why you got to do this to him.
I'm just you know what he meant to even know what I'm talking about.
So, uh, yeah, we got reviews coming in as well.
There's a lot of there's a lot of Randy, but we're talking about
we're starting with the Borderlands three story where the guy who voices
Claptrap, David Eddings, apparently did that shit for free
and felt that he got screwed over, which he did.
And basically, he has decided that he's not coming back.
And Randy didn't like that.
Well, it's more like Randy decided that he's not coming back.
Once David said, hey, can I get paid for this
voice work of the company's fucking mascot?
And now there's a new voice actor for Claptrap.
Borderlands three can't seem to resist getting caught up with yet another controversy.
Gearbox boss Randy Pitchford has called out Claptrap voice actor David Eddings,
who voiced Borderlands franchise mainstay robotic mascot every game
leading up to Borderlands three for being bitter and disgruntled
amongst the news that he won't be returning to the upcoming title.
The drama comes on the heels of Pitchford's heated criticisms
of Game Informer's coverage of Borderlands three.
Implementation of microtransactions.
This all started when Eddings himself confirmed on Twitter
that he won't be reprising his role as Claptrap.
The microtransactions, if we may, if we may continue.
Oh, my God, dude, is the part two.
So I want to point out for the David Eddings thing.
He was a senior producer, some shit on Borderlands one and two.
And I think pre-sequel even.
So apparently he was doing the voice under that role,
which is the the reason they gave for not paying him on that.
Yeah, he doesn't work there anymore.
So he's like, Hey, am I going to do Claptrap for three?
Yeah, you're going to have to pay me, though.
They were like, yeah.
Man, I met the Screw Attack convention.
He's just seems like a cool guy.
Yeah, Claptrap is a cool character.
I like Claptrap.
Actually, I ironically love Claptrap.
But yes, let's get to microtransactions and fucking Randy.
I like getting paid for my work.
There's a I forget what the fuck I was.
I think it was on your stream or I was like,
do you motherfuckers work for free because I don't?
That's so that's the the first part of the story.
You do work, you get fucking paid.
Any one tells you you should do work for any other reason
other than get paid?
Tell them to shove it up their fucking ass for exposure.txt.
Yeah, especially if they're like, it'll be easier.
So you're conscious of some shit.
Well, what I want to know is because the people
that are usually on listed on for exposure
are just so far outside the realm of like reality.
That they're this is what they think is acceptable.
Yeah, but like, I would like to know how many people
were people whose minds were of the for exposure variety.
That is strong, but encountered people
laughing at them on for exposure, not them directly,
but people laughing at that and them going, oh, wait,
this is not how it's done. This is bad.
Yeah. And and how it's not just like the client from hell
for in a business sense, but it's the client from hell in a
can you draw me an avatar for free? Please do it.
Yeah, you're not doing anything anyway.
In fact, you should pay me for the honor.
You know, it's like, you know, it's like a really good way.
How for exposure actually works, like unironically.
It's an artist's name, Fingers, but you spell all the all the
it's fingers like all letters, but all the vowels
impressed with numbers, right?
Like F one and G three are five, right?
I think he does some great music.
He's got a bunch of great albums.
So back when Twitch made this fucked up shit where it looked
like they were going to crack down on everybody that was using any music whatsoever.
I reached out to him because I knew that he watched the stream
was like, hey, man, do you mind if I borrow one of your tracks
for my intro thing? It was like, yeah, great.
So OK, thanks. This is not a track that he made, right?
This is a track they had lying around.
I like, do you mind if I use it? Sure.
So put on thing, play the thing.
People ask, hey, what's that? I go, hey, it's Fingers.
It's this guy. He's got a bunch of albums. Go buy them.
And now I'm doing this now.
That's how it's supposed to work.
But when you go to somebody, you go, make this for me now.
My recent stream loading screen screen has been Marcus D, a fucking Godlike
dude has that's been making Nujibes style beats and was like,
I need to get my stuff in the hands of people to an internet people
to share it with a bigger audience.
And I'm like, I will gladly expose the world to your your genius.
Yeah. And that's that's the real version of that.
But when Timmy says, draw me a Sonic OC with the big wings,
Tommy's not going to go around telling everybody how great the artist is
and that they should buy it.
And also, who gives a fuck who Tommy is?
Tommy's a bitch. Draw me Wendy from Gravity Falls.
Walking through the forest and then she suddenly becomes a werewolf.
I want it to be a story in forty three panels.
Why do you seriously need forty three panels to make that happen?
And each one must be vaneer than the last.
Yes, I will tell you exactly what to draw in every panel.
How much would that cost me?
Well, one panel of color, at least five bucks.
So at least that's a low ball, too.
That's OK. Well, how about you just not color?
How about you just like, I guess I can can you do it for like
less than that per panel?
And I was like, I can I can sketch it on a napkin.
If you want, I can just do a loose sketch.
Like, OK, how much would it how many panels would you do for free?
OK, I'll tell you just no, I'll tell you how many.
I'll tell you every story, but she needs to be walking through the forest
and then turn into a werewolf and then she needs to get hurt a little bit.
Yeah, a little bit, but then start getting turned on by it.
Yeah. Can you draw this?
Why haven't you drawn it yet?
It's been three hours.
My erection is not going to go away until you draw it.
So do those people encounter these moments or these things
that everyone else is laughing at and kind of nervously look around?
No, those people look at that and go, that's ridiculous.
And look at themselves with no introspection whatsoever.
Because people who think like that are self absorbed.
And life is about me.
And everybody else is a player in their game.
It's protagonist syndrome.
And I'm the one. Me, you know, we always already know the answer.
We just try to hope that it's not the same.
Can I talk to your manager, Karen?
Is that you, Karen?
Oh, man, you robbed me and you took the kids.
And now you want to talk to the manager.
I'm getting fucking blown up in my soul by the Karen shit.
Because I used to hang.
I used to fucking hang out with Karen every day of my fucking life
at the grocery store. Oh, Karen. Oh, yeah, she's out there.
There she is, skulking in the fruit aisle, fucking up the tomatoes.
Why? Because fuck me, I guess.
You fucking bitch.
Oh, the best was it was the screenshot of Ed gave a fucking
Captain Marvel or just a Captain Karen out there
asking to see the universe's manager.
Thanos, I'm going to need to talk to the manager.
That's great.
Yes, the answer is me, me, me all the way all the time.
It's true.
Unironically, of me,
as Eli would point out, in this case,
literally rubbing their nipples while sending those messages.
That's correct.
So the other problem was that people have
been giving game informer specifically has been
reporting on the micro transactions or whatever you want to call it
that lets you get cosmetic items in Borderlands three.
Let me paint y'all a picture.
Do it. Borderlands three gameplay reveal.
Mr. Randy Pitchford gets up on stage and says, Hey, guys,
you know, we're going to be doing, you know, that cosmetic DLC stuff.
But don't you worry, we're not going to have any
micron transactions. We're not going to have any of that loot box
paid to win crap in our game. Randy, will your game have many buys?
Yeah, of course.
But no micro micro transactions. Got it.
Game Informer then goes and says, Hey,
Randy Pitchford just said there's no micro transactions.
And then like five seconds later was like, but you can spend money to buy skins.
We're pretty sure.
And this is in the article.
He meant that loot box crap as evidenced by the phrase, not that loot box crap.
But yeah, it's totally going to have micro transactions.
OK, yeah, Mr.
Pitchford takes Umbridge with this obviously honest
and correct characterization of his direct quotes.
Going, Why you got to fuck me on this game?
Game Informer, why you got to fuck me?
You know what I meant?
Then he goes down the rabbit hole and starts arguing with everyone
who points out that he's probably a thief and a weirdo and an asshole.
And we get all the way back to him going and saying shit like
aliens, colonial marines had a lighting engine that was truly next gen.
And you were all just too fucking stupid to or whatever the fuck he's talking about.
Holy shit, Randy, while you were doing nothing,
I was creating brothers at arms, creating borderlines, shipping 10 other games.
Stealing Sega's money.
Pissing on aliens fans, scumming Sega.
Not paying the voice of my company's mascot,
leaving a USB key on a table somewhere filled with I don't know, allegedly.
Filled with allegedly filled with allegedly.
Um.
So speaking of me, the creative director, Paul Sage, stepped in to explain and clarify
that they're not selling cosmetic items, but they're going to rather they're selling
cosmetic items, but they're not going to nickel and dime players.
And that DLC will come down the line, but it won't have anything excessive.
Then maybe that's what you should have said.
Well, that's not what Randy said.
That's what Sage said.
Jim did a decent piece on this where it's like the constant sliding scale of what words mean
is like horrible.
Oh, microtransaction treadmill.
Microtransactions now they are they only mean loot boxes.
No, they mean shit to buy after the game come out.
Our game features no mini buys.
No mini buys.
We do have tiny deals.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
I hate it.
I hate it.
This sucks, man.
We might feature a couple of times.
Oh, fuck.
That's a work of genius in your mind.
Christ.
Did you think of that while you were just saying?
Oh, that's amazing.
You got a gold star.
Don't get alarmed.
Don't get it twisted.
Shit.
Not going to nickel and dime anybody.
All right.
Randy looks like a man terrified.
He's going to jail.
He acts like a man who expects the cops to show up the next day.
He is fucking swinging at everybody who comes at it.
There's a level of I don't know what to call it,
because it's not like Cavalier Cowboy.
But it's like, you know, but you've encountered the brashness
of the Twitter developer online in a public forum.
You could say that.
And then the brashness of the Twitter developer on an alt account.
It's a while, right?
However, there's something about like this where you're like,
I guess you're just feeling so righteous in the indignation
that you're kind of like, you think it's a good idea.
You know what's so to go in as hard as you're going
when you're attached to a product that has tons of people's jobs involved.
So here's a here's a really good example.
So I'm not going to put the word allegedly in front of this.
Randy Pitchford is an asshole.
And a really good example is one that Jim brought up recently.
Randy Pitchford pretends he doesn't know who Jim Sterling is,
but brings him up all the time while pretending that he doesn't remember his name.
In what context?
You're like, oh, yeah, there's that British guy.
He's big.
He hates me so much.
He's always on my, you know, that kind of shit.
And just to what's his name?
Sturdust.
Yeah, I don't know.
I was a fucking guy.
He's an asshole.
Is everybody's trying to get.
He fucks Bob Lins and he collects pogs.
Yeah.
That guy.
He's he's related to Willem Dafoe.
His his theme song is born innocent.
Like that guy.
Yeah, that guy.
Really specific.
Yeah, he's got a guy.
He's a cornflakes, a monkey-less character on a show.
What's his name?
I don't know.
Jam.
But it's just it's like jam silver.
But this is different even.
This is like wild reactionary ism.
This is a man who should be on top of the world.
His game is going to be so huge, even with all the controversy shit around it.
People are so excited for Borderlands.
Yeah.
Did you see the punch girl with the arms?
Yeah, he should be so happy.
The game looks great.
She has abs.
Yeah.
I prefer the robot man because that's where I go.
But whatever.
It's all good.
You can take your robot man.
I like a robot.
I'll take the abs.
All right.
That's fine.
That's good.
Yeah.
Everybody's happy.
Everybody's happy.
All right.
But instead, he's just like desperate for validation that no one's ever going to give him now.
Again, very strange to take the whole thing on your back when it's it's a fucking
anyway.
When you're the spokesperson, I suppose.
Well, he's stopping spokesman.
And this is in this issue.
This is one of those moments where like you would expect the kitten hand to come out and just,
you know, it's time to stop posting the rest.
It's paw on your hand and just be like Randy.
I think the problem is that I think Gearbox is Randy's company.
I don't think anyone can tell him to shut the fuck up.
Could be.
Which is his own fun.
I mean, there's this situation like that.
You know, like no one's going to fucking stop Ed Boone from doing what he wants because he said.
Yeah.
But Ed Boone's a classy bitch.
I mean, he does.
He will come out and fucking troll everybody and lull it shit.
And that.
Oh, yeah.
And occasionally be super wrong.
Yes.
I forgot that every other not that's extremely hyperbola.
Hi.
Woof.
Wow.
I was about to say something very hyperbolic and I'm going to correct myself.
Because it's not a story on the docket.
But there were a number of people have said that we didn't talk about
the dumb things happening in Mortal Kombat 11.
There's some dumb fuck shit in that game.
And they came at it from a call out perspective.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, you talk shit about DOA, but you won't talk shit about more.
And I was like, I just didn't buy the game until the Tuesday when I did the stream for it.
Yeah.
Also, I didn't touch anything.
I didn't touch any of that single player shit.
So it's not even something that I would know.
Not paying attention to it.
If you want to pay attention to that shit, actually go talk to Max because Max is diving
deep on that shit.
And as well, we're very invested about awful.
It is.
But I promise you, if you are concerned about a story not coming up in this way,
it is not out of some sort of weird, let's protect Mortal Kombat thing.
Oh, I don't.
It was literally, I had not been paying attention to it until I picked it up for this.
Yeah.
I'm trying to protect the game that I'm like, I don't like it.
It's a bad story.
It's weird.
People are very, very weird.
I don't know.
But regardless, they had a bunch of stupid micro transaction things.
Sure.
And the the crypt sound awful and watching Max million on stream with the whole thing
and the story that accompanied with the six thousand dollars.
Yeah.
And then Boon comes out and goes, that's bullshit.
You're super wrong.
We don't make games like that.
It's like what you did.
It turns out it turns out it's not.
Is it easy, though?
But you did.
Thor face.
Thor face.
Is he?
Yeah.
And then it turns out that it's not that much money, but it's still egregious.
Yeah.
And the patches went live and gave people shit.
And then someone had a bug where you can go into the crypts and get free shit just to
be like, do this before they patch it.
Yeah.
So yeah, heard about that.
That was bad.
That was dumb.
Don't do that.
Don't do this either.
Don't don't do that.
Allegedly.
Yeah.
Let's go over under on Randy getting hauled off to jail before that game comes out.
OK, but I asked you last time, is Dennis Dyak in jail?
And I said no.
But the guy who they found all that shit on his computer is absolutely in jail.
Because Dyak didn't break any laws.
Dyak's just a fuck boy.
OK, so he just said things on Kickstarter.
Yeah.
It was the other guy.
It was the lead programmer or some shit.
I forget who it was.
OK.
For Shadow of the Eternals or whatever the fuck that game was called.
That's what killed that game.
Because they were starting to get some momentum.
And then it's like one of the leads of this game got taken away for some alleged allegedly
alleged pee pee time on his alleged his alleged lease.
Let's we can just his alleged lease.
Yeah.
His bad bad no no.
He had some alleged lease.
Yeah.
And that was no good.
People in chat don't know who Dennis Dyak is.
OK, well.
Oh man, that sucks.
He was he was forced to do crunch time in a different location.
Oh, well, breaking rocks.
Yeah.
Well, Godspeed, Randy.
Don't go to Japan, Randy, ever.
Sega's always been rumored to have ties to the Yakuza.
And if anybody's going to get fucking disappeared,
it's the guy who stole like 30 million dollars of Sega's money.
OK, OK.
Yeah.
You think there's a dude in a white suit out his window that might do something cool?
Yeah.
Any minute now.
Yeah, they're they're they're still bitter about that one, huh?
Money's money.
Money don't go away until it does.
I just alien makes me sad because it's a franchise that can't win on any front.
Obsidian was supposed to do a goddamn alien RPG.
Neil Blancant was probably going to crush it with an alien movie.
And I haven't been on the comics in a hot minute,
but the last run I read was not very good.
That was a long time ago.
I mean, shit, I have like a fucking like underdog shit thing going on with Obsidian.
I love that company.
And one of the reasons they almost fucking fell apart
is because the alien deal fell through because Randy fucks Sega.
Like, yeah.
And I mean, the other good stuff eventually happened.
But is the most flawless branch of the alien franchise, the toys?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
The toys are God fucking aces, man.
They're great.
Historical.
A-Pone had that arm and he could fucking throw the grenade.
Hicks had that blaster and it was really strong and take your eye out.
Gorilla alien.
Those are really good.
Blue bull alien.
Yeah.
The blue one was the gorilla.
The red one was the bull.
The the yellow one was the scorpion.
Scorpion was brownish.
You'd push on the back.
And it would fall open and explode.
Got the queen with the fucking squeeze.
I had that queen.
That queen is dope.
It's so big.
Detachable tail.
It's so fucking big.
Extra mouth, extra arms, good balance.
Yeah, it would stay on its feet real well.
Hell yeah.
Good fucking run.
Good run.
Toys are shit, man.
All right.
Uh, Xbox teases Game of Thrones.
Oh, I thought you meant Xbox teases Xbox.
See that shit?
For the Xbox official Twitter account.
Just tweeted the word Xbox.
And then every other product every other product got involved.
And that feels like you want to pay Xbox on the head and go, yes, Xbox, Xbox.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we saw some, they tweeted some fiery burning thing that looks like the bottom of
a sigil from Game of Thrones.
And it says, and now your weight begins, which is also something that sounds like
a Game of Thrones line.
And there might be a video game of Game of Thrones coming that is not the telltale game,
nor the men of the wall game that we played way back when.
Who knows, this might be the game where you play the good ending this time.
Hey, great.
Awesome.
Sounds like this week was the perfect time to announce it.
I mean, they couldn't possibly have expected things to go the way they did.
Yeah, I know, but still, right?
Like that's hilarious.
Yeah, it really is.
But it would be quite fun to see this be like, I don't know, let's say they get
creative freedom to just be like, yeah, depart from the world, do whatever you want.
And then they can just go like, we're doing season eight, but we're doing it good this time.
Yeah, that'd be dope.
Crush it.
Get it.
Not much to that, though.
There's a whole lot going on with this, though.
There's some meeting this.
This was when I know no one.
Well, you saw it coming.
You just didn't see the specifics.
Blank acquires Psionics was going to happen at some point.
Yeah.
It was just a matter of who wants that Rocket League money.
And then in hindsight, you go, oh, of course.
Why wouldn't they?
Why would it be anyone but Epic or Tencent?
Turns out it was Epic and Tencent.
Epic seems to be fond of just taking shit.
I don't know who said it, but they pointed out the, maybe it was Marcus, but it was like,
Epic's getting real good at pissing people off.
It's kind of nuts and weird because it used to not be that.
And I remember when it was just another name that you would say and people go, oh, cool.
Yeah.
Those guys.
Oh, Gears of War.
Yeah.
And Gears of War.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that was it.
That was a tournament, though.
Yeah.
Sure.
Sure.
You know.
And even like you'd go like, oh, fucking, what was it?
Chair, right?
Yeah.
That was a subsidiary of them, I believe.
Yeah, they did that diving game or whatever the fuck that was.
Right.
That was cool.
And then the, yeah.
And then it was, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Epic, yeah, yeah.
And then something happened.
Ten cents.
And then another thing happened.
The Fortnite.
And then another thing happened.
More Fortnite.
And then the store happened.
And Fortnite.
Damn it.
Cliffy happened.
Yeah.
A bunch of shit happened.
But now you kind of go like, oh.
So they bought Rocket League.
They bought Planix.
They bought Rocket League.
And they're talking about that game getting pulled from Steam a year from now.
And put on the Epic Game Store.
Which would be a first.
Taking your, so one, they're never going to take that game away from people who already bought it.
Right.
God bless.
That's absurd.
That's never going to happen.
Anyone who thinks that is pie in the sky and saying,
Steam would have to refund you.
And that's a whole fucking thing.
But I can't think of anything ever where a game came out on a platform and then someone bought it.
And then the game stopped coming out for that platform and then moved to a different platform.
That's fucking wild.
Simply for fuck you reasons.
Yeah.
Like that's like if X-Men series came out on the Nintendo exclusively and then Sony bought it.
And then it wasn't for a sequel.
Just they stopped selling that game on the Nintendo and moved it over to the PlayStation.
Well, let's read a short Q&A regarding the acquisition via Cyanix.
No, really.
What does this mean for Rocket League?
In the short term, nothing will change at all.
Still committed to providing Rocket League.
So on and so forth.
In the long term, we expect to bring Rocket League to the Epic Games Store.
Leverage our new relationship in ways we couldn't do on our own before.
I'm kind of shocked this shit hasn't ended yet.
We believe that bringing Rocket League to the new audiences with more support is a win for everybody.
Will gameplay be different?
Nope.
What does it mean for Rocket League eSports?
Which I know some fighting game players that have gotten in on that.
Actually, we think it's a great move.
And so ultimately it really is.
Yeah, whatever.
Go fuck yourself.
It's about the money.
We want your eSports game.
Yeah, give us the eSports.
Yeah.
And we want it on our awful platform.
And like, look, Fortnite's a big fucking deal.
It's the biggest fucking deal ever.
Rocket League is also a big fucking deal, but for the sports.
And this is all...
Sports Bros.
Well, and this would all be fine if the store wasn't shit.
Store's still really bad.
Navigating, it sucks.
Like, just think...
Like, if anything was delisted from another store and then put on Steam,
whenever that happens, people go, oh, yeah, finally it's on Steam.
Or it gets delisted from Steam and goes back to GOG.
But now you've unfortunately got to fucking go watch this go the other way around.
And like, because I want to play Hades, I got no choice.
Well, you could wait a year.
Yeah, I suppose I could.
Or play...
And for in this case, it's like play it on not PC.
Or if you wanted to play Metro Exodus,
you could shove it up your ass.
If you want, you know, if you want to play it on Steam.
That's an alternative.
Alternatively, you could time travel to the month before Metro Exodus became
Epic Storks was when it was still being pre-orderable on Steam.
I found out about that shit the day I was going to go pre-order it on fucking Steam.
And I missed it.
I was like, what the fuck is this?
Yeah, that's unfortunate, man.
Well, in any case.
Good for Microsoft, they don't look as fucking evil anymore.
That's big money rustlers right there.
That's huge.
Did they give a number?
Did they announce a number?
Did you just fucking talk about the fucking ICP Western big money rustlers?
I sure did.
You got a problem with that?
You got a problem with my shaggy, too dope reference?
What the fuck?
That movie's so bad they're getting the makeup in the West.
You got a problem with my down with the cloud reference?
Can we not move on?
Where did you pull that from?
I was just trying to move on.
Why do you even know about that?
I'm aware.
I know what Figo is.
I'm trying to move on.
What fucking category of your brain did you pull that from?
Try to move on.
All right, okay.
It's a great name.
It's hilarious.
It's fantastic.
It's amazing.
They're big money rustlers.
Yeah, we're going to rustle some big money.
Yeah, they're fucking, they're cowboys in the Old West, but they're clowns.
For God.
You know how it is.
Yeah, this is a dark carnival back in the Old West.
Woo.
You want good shit?
Yeah, this hit me it's good shit.
Because as we all know, they're tied to wrestling.
Yes.
And D. Malenko and such.
Yeah.
What was the name of the wrestling league?
If you remember.
Oh, geez.
I don't know.
I can't.
It was ICP champion shit wrestling.
Okay.
Didn't catch that because they thought it would be funny to call it shit wrestling.
Yeah.
Instead of champion ship wrestling.
Yeah, didn't go that deep.
Didn't catch that.
I've seen a video of fucking, I think it was Shaggy lose a match and then go back to the
table with Jay and fucking announce the rest of the match with him out of it.
And that sounds like the kind of wrestling where juggalos would just walk out of the
crowd and enter the ring.
I have to.
I have to imagine.
But on that note of wrestling, I'm not sure if you have heard.
The true story of gold dust.
I am not.
You're familiar with the character.
I'm familiar with the character gold dust.
Gold dust is a character.
Great.
Right.
Dustin runnels.
Genius.
There's an article I'd like to call your attention to because it's a good fucking.
It's a good fucking read.
And this is over on pro wrestling stories.com.
And it's basically a retrospective on this character and how he came to be, how he shaped
up and how essentially it was built on Dustin runnels trying to get away from dusty roads
like character, which is like a lot of what he was about in WCW and how he wanted to create
something new as far away from what he was as possible.
Add a dusty shadow, which is enormous.
Dusty's a hero.
Yeah.
They successfully did so by creating fucking gold dust.
Him and then just brain, whatever, brain shot.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Whatever.
They workshopped this idea.
Brainstorm.
Brainstormed this idea for like this weirdo that would was actually canonically androgynous
at the beginning.
Yeah.
Right.
And it worked too well that they started getting backlash for people at the time.
And like a lot of like super religious leagues and whatnot that like wrestling fans that were
just like that Bible thumping or not happy.
Yeah.
Good.
Get some heat.
And it was good heat.
Yeah.
But it became too much heat.
Oh, no.
And then it became like, we're not going to support you heat.
It became bad heat after a while.
But then he was like, this is fucking great.
Sorry, my gimmick is too amazing.
And then they, but they started being like, yo, tone it down and he's like, but I want to
lean in even harder.
No, I want to tone it up.
This is amazing.
And like, and you basically it's a real, it's a long read, but it's also not that long,
but it's a good breakdown of like how committed he was to the character and how it worked so
much and so well.
Because it like, think about like, what was it?
La Pimpernella or God, come on, help me out here.
Escarletta.
Escarletta Pimpernella.
Pimpernella Escarletta, I want to say.
Scarlet Pimpernella.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
But from, from Lucha, right from Lucha Underground.
In this case, this is like, that's like half selling the character just trying to do this
goofy thing.
And you're like, and whatever.
And like, oh, I'm going to kiss you.
Oh, that's a cartoon.
And gold dust was committed, committed.
C-O-M-M-I-T committed to the bit.
And like, K-Fabe, but just for me, you know, and would and like
parts of it would include like fucking with the undertaker in the ring to get him to actually
start like hitting him for real by creeping him out and working hard.
And like, yeah, you know, and like, and whatnot, like it was great.
It's great.
At some point, of course, the bit died down.
Yeah.
Because he had to tone it down because Vince was forcing him to tone it down.
Because Vince is well, Vince.
And it got to the point where he had to, he's like, okay, well, let's make him a creepy
like kind of fetish guy that's more into like weird, like at one point he started,
she starts dressing up as like some of the other like wrestlers in the Divas at the time.
But then he puts on like a ball gag and like like a Madonna spike.
Make everybody super uncomfortable.
Yeah.
And then like a jockstrap and G string.
And then he's walking with the chain around his neck and an old person's walker.
Yeah.
You know what I mean and whatnot.
So, and it was, it was weird at first and whatnot, but then he just Evoldo.
He turned into Voldo.
Yeah, he turned into Voldo.
But then it didn't really go much further because it just kind of was dying out.
Then they had the Booker T team up and that was a nice big resurgence as well.
But fire kept dying out every time and they're like, how do we reignite this flame?
What do we do?
And then eventually one day Dustin himself comes up with a great idea and he says,
let's go back to the origin source that we had and let's make it,
let's make it realer than it ever was.
And that brings us to the title of this article, which I have scrolled past.
Intentionally.
Goldust, how the bizarre one tried to get breast implants to reinvigorate his character.
He literally walks in to Vince's office and says, dude, if you pay for them,
I'll get breast implants.
I'll get some titties.
I'ma get some big old honkers and chest beefers plus wrestling equals big old hits.
Big money.
Everyone, including his wife, Terry, were like, dude, what the fuck?
And they're like, what about when you're not wrestling
and you're living your normal life outside the ring?
95% of your total time.
And he's like, yeah, fuck it.
It'll be worth it if we can get back up there.
I bet this dude really loves the prestige.
I think I'm going to say the fact that he came from his father's shadow
and built a huge, huge legacy for himself that was the complete opposite of his dad's.
And it wasn't rest on.
It didn't have nothing to do with continuing his dad's legacy.
He built it himself.
He was very, very happy about that.
And like literally to the point where he was willing to alter his life,
to walk around with titties specifically because he wanted to do it for the character.
Um, never mind the idea of taking a huge body slam
and possibly puncturing one mid-match and what that might mean.
Didn't want to China's pop during one of her matches.
I have no idea.
Because like if you're you got a silicone one, that's like life-threatening.
That's absolutely life-threatening.
You can die.
Yeah.
If that shit leaks into you.
Horrible idea.
I don't know, but apparently that's what he was going through.
And then they like rightfully like an end.
It says that Vince considered it for a moment.
Well, Vince would consider all sorts of fucking weird shit for a moment.
He wanted the goddamn fucking Steph pregnancy incest storyline to go forward.
If you remember that shit.
I did not hear about that.
He wanted to have a fucking storyline where Steph was pregnant and it was his baby.
And then when Steph was like, fuck off.
What the fuck?
He's like, well, what about Shane?
Wow.
Wow.
Okay.
How old was this?
This is late attitude.
Late attitude?
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Because it feels like Jean-Paul Lavec and Steph have since kind of reigned him in
and taken more power and have more say.
Vince will always be Vince.
He will always be Vince.
And right up until the day he dies, his influence will be felt.
And then for a little while afterwards too.
In his new form.
Yes.
When his body resurrects in a temporary state as he looks for the soul transfer that Undertaker
refused to do.
Yeah.
That's fucking dedication.
That's.
Yeah, that's particular.
That's some shit right there.
And I want to say as well that how can you say wrestling's fake?
Well, the wacky part of this shit I ever heard the wacky part is that like
like nowadays the tech for you to just buy some titties and put them on in your costume
would have been there.
That's much improved.
And it's really, really good now.
You should take them off.
You could have just done that.
Yeah.
So yeah.
I thought that was pretty fucking strong.
And really, gold dust is legendary.
Yeah.
God bless.
Good wrestler.
Let's let's get some really quick ones out.
Just some fun little final stories here.
Yeah.
Oh, you got.
Hey, well, that's good.
Any good news in here?
One cheeky is back.
The cool character from Samurai Showdown 64.
She's cool, man.
She's the good one.
They saved her and they rescued her from her own game.
They put her in.
That's a hell of a well.
They put her in Neo Geo Battle Colosseum.
And have since, she has since become a fan favorite
because her design is killer.
She's cool.
Very cool design.
She teleports and she spins blades around
and she's got one of them heterochromia things going on.
I like my heterochromia.
So she's a very specific waifu design.
And this trailer is showing off that, yep,
she's got all the moves that she used to.
Frankensteiner, teleport.
Sure, you can spinning blade attack.
It's all there.
Cheeky looks great.
It's one of those ones where you kind of go like,
there's a lot of old forgotten characters,
but you want to bring her back.
Samurai Showdown has way more characters than I thought it did.
But the bad games have winners in them that are worth saving.
Like that guy with the wrist shit.
The Goku.
Is that the wrist weights?
Seager?
I don't fucking know these characters' names.
He turns into a Goku.
Oh, yeah, Enga.
Yeah.
Well, I like Kazuki.
Enga's the god version, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, the fire god.
Yeah, that guy's got fire.
I like the normal dude version of him,
but sure, why not?
Blue Oni, red Oni with his brother, Sogetsu.
So that's cool.
Meanwhile, in the other
Rad Finding Game new character announcement,
Punch Planet is showing off their new character.
It's fucking the robot from Kotor.
It's Ed 109.
On wheels.
Right?
It's really, really brief.
T3, that's the name, yeah.
Really brief clip.
What a weird fucking looking character.
But it's a little robot.
Yeah.
It's a little fucking robot.
And it's cute.
It's a little Star Wars-y and a little Robocopy.
And I love it.
I fucking love it.
Can't wait for more details on that.
And this game continues to look insanely gorgeous.
They also had an update recently
with new costumes for certain characters.
So it's trudging along.
And that's great.
Really happy about that.
Lastly, I just wanted to give a shout out
to the Washington Post for writing up a fun story.
And I got to talk a little bit
about the Let's Play business in it.
How's the Let's Play business?
Not so great.
What?
Why?
It's on the outs.
However, it does serve a purpose that Twitch does not cover.
And yeah, if you want to take a little read about that
and Jack Black and PewDiePie and the history of all of that.
So you see...
And the Game Grumps and us.
Oh, Jack.
Oh, wait, we're in there?
And they're a little bit...
Fucking sick.
See how Jack masks his facecam?
No.
It's the funniest thing.
I've ever seen it.
What did he do?
So you're...
Okay, so while you're looking at a photo of Jack Black
and he's got the game,
he's got himself in the upper left corner.
Yeah.
So he is showing that his main feed is him in the room.
And he has a green screen from his waist down
and in the room to his left.
And is masking the game onto the green screen.
I don't even understand what you're saying.
Like, he's sitting in a...
Like, imagine a rectangle.
Yeah.
Of a green screen.
Yeah.
And he cuts out the upper left and sits behind it.
And then puts the game footage on the green screen.
He physically cuts the hole in the green screen.
It's the most backwards shit I've ever seen.
Why?
I don't know.
Maybe he thought that's how you do it.
Does his kid...
No, but his kid is in charge.
I don't know.
Does his son know what he's doing?
I don't know.
Why not just put the fucking camera on top of the footage?
You fucking crazy old man.
What are you doing?
He's changing the game.
That's what he's doing.
He's fucking nuts.
He's reinvigorating the dead art of the let's play.
Posted a screenshot of the setup and I was like,
why would you do it like this?
Yeah.
It's the most backwards fucking shit ever.
And Gene Park, the guy who wrote it, gave proper shoutouts
to Slow Beef for fucking starting his gangsta shit.
Yeah, I like Slow Beef.
That's the motherfucking thing.
He's a classy man.
There you go.
And Diabetes.
Yeah, but I don't know diabetes.
Yeah, can't speak for him.
Exactly.
I know that the Slow Beef is invigorated.
And despite being old, very handsome.
Yeah, I've had a beer with Slow Beef.
I haven't had a beer with Diabetes.
So I don't know where Diabetes is at.
I don't know.
But either way, that's the only reason why we're like,
yeah, Team Slow Beef.
Yeah, exactly.
We met the guy.
He's cool.
Equating slash friendship form with Slow Beef.
It could have been anyone.
Good guy, good guy.
Diabetes, I'm sure you're very nice.
Fantastic.
Yeah, so that's that.
All right.
Let's get into what's going on here.
Riot walkout, riot walkout.
Everyone's yelling about a riot walkout.
The riot walkout is happening.
It's supposed to be happening right now.
It's happening right now.
Happening right now.
Happening live.
Riot walkout.
People are walking out at riot.
League of Legends is over.
No, it's not.
Riot walk out.
Let's hope there's not a riot, everyone.
They go riot out.
Walk out happening at riot.
Go fuck yourselves and go fuck me.
I'm an asshole.
All right.
Devil May Cry 1 is coming to switch.
This was actually the first story,
but I skipped it because of the segue.
Yeah.
Fuck this story.
Dante in Smash Bros confirmed because of the previous mention that
what you might call it, Dante would have to be on the switch first.
That's right.
So there you go.
Soft confirm.
Here's the weird part.
Why not the trilogy?
Why one?
So they can sell them each or so they can just do one three
and then maybe hope to see if the switch can handle four.
If the cost of one and the cost of three is cheaper than buying the trilogy,
then gamers win.
If the cost of one and the cost of three is more than buying the trilogy,
gamers still.
So that you can have the perfect collection.
I would like to buy a $5 DLC that locks out the ability that plays DMZ2.
See, what you guys don't understand here is that if they sold you the trilogy,
that would mean having to own two.
And quite frankly, no one wishes that upon you.
We want to give you the opportunity to selectively only buy one three and then move on to four and five.
Yeah.
Nintendo's looking out for you.
It's probably so they can sell them in batches.
Yeah.
This is probably, this is likely a Capcom test as always.
Yeah.
Because everything's always a Capcom test.
Would you like, would you like to see DMZ1 revisited in any way?
Nope.
Just leave it alone.
It's fine as is.
I would like to see some more costumes just for funsies.
Sure.
All right.
So that's there.
The fuck's up with these birds?
Um, they're trying to live their best life.
They're going nuts.
Yeah.
The birds are supposed to chirp in the morning and wake you up.
No, it's, it's, it's, it's nice outside.
It's really nice outside.
So that's why they're chirping.
Did you, did you know though?
Don't care for birds.
Birds aren't real.
Did you know about that?
All right.
Tell me.
I wasn't informed.
R slash birds aren't real.
That's a whole, okay.
You want to, you want to fucking talk about,
you want to talk about Flat Earth?
You want to talk about Chemtrails?
You want to talk about Sandy Hook?
You want to talk about, uh, vaccines?
Yeah.
That's all fucking shit.
That is beginner baby bullshit.
Yeah.
We'll get ready for his first conspiracy.
Get ready for the fucking truth that birds aren't real.
Galaxy fucking brain, 200 IQ.
Birds aren't real.
All right.
Let's hear it.
How come?
They're robots.
They're not real.
Oh, they're all, oh, Jesus.
They're all spying on us at all times.
Oh, wow.
It's just advanced drone technology.
That's existed since literally forever.
You can't prove it otherwise.
I really can actually.
It'll be gross, but I can't.
I mean, there's one of those, uh,
one of those petty arcade books of the compilation,
the collections of their story,
of their comics over the years was, uh,
accurately titled birds are weird.
They're fucking weird.
And I've always subscribed to that.
Yeah, it's the gray one.
Oh, you know, you know, I have.
Yeah, there you go.
Exactly.
Same here.
And, uh, but the evolution really is they're not just weird.
They're not real.
I said somewhere that I don't care for birds
because they're the only animal type
that on mass refuse to acknowledge the ascendancy of man
because flight is really good.
And their ability to just fly away from us.
Instead of dealing with our bullshit is high.
Probably one of the single funniest fake conspiracies
I've ever seen.
It's, it's fucking.
Is this all jokes?
Yes, of course.
Okay.
Well, dude, I don't know anymore.
Yes, it is.
People are talking about the fucking flat earth.
It's, it's, but it's fucking great.
It's great.
Is flat earth just jokes?
I wish I could condescendingly say.
Is it all just jokes on the internet, man?
I really wish.
We're not taking it for real, right?
I really wish I could.
But they're not real though.
And like, and the thing to do is like,
anytime someone posts anything anywhere about, you know,
fucking whatever.
You just get in there and it's like,
but what about the bird drones?
Yeah.
Well, there's like someone put a camera on the back of a pigeon
and then they put footage up and it's like four seconds of footage
and it's perfectly still.
And it's like, you see the bird's head not moving.
And it's like, why are you just lying?
What are you fucking doing?
You put a drone with a fake pigeon head on it and then acted.
And it's like, no.
And then someone was like, here's a real footage.
Here's some real footage of a camera on the back of a pigeons,
on a pigeon's back.
And you see the guy lets it go and the footage is just.
It's gross.
It's everywhere.
And it's loud and it's fucking just terrible.
It's worthless.
And the head is bumping and it's just nonsense.
And I'm like, yeah, that's what it's like actually.
That's what that looks like.
And here now you just go like, well,
why would you make that video if not to further the conspiracy
that you put a camera on your camera?
Because birds aren't fucking real.
So that's mind control noise outside the bird chirping,
the harp system.
All right, the weather.
All right, Jesse, we need to talk.
I was a fighter and a Navy SEAL.
War's over, buddy.
Now I'm off the grid.
What made him nuts?
A couple of bumps.
Is it the bumps?
CTE?
Yeah.
A little bit.
Because he took some bumps before the bumps.
And then he took some afterwards.
Yeah.
And then he was a GI Joe.
And those were the worst bumps of all because, you know, Cobra.
So the Predator gave him some bumps too.
A bunch of slack-jawed fools around here.
So you did that thing where I hear slut and I go,
you got me.
Just like every time we talk about Plague's shirt, no way, bro.
Let's take some emails.
Hey, we got emails now.
If you want to send in an email,
you can send that into CastleSuperBeastMail at gmail.com.
You can send that into CastleSuperBeastMail at gmail.com.
We might read some of your emails if they have an interesting question
or cool story associated with them.
Like that time you were at a convention and had to explain
what Plague of Grypes's NWF shirt meant to someone's mom.
And what that shit was about.
Why is he making such a funny face?
No way.
No way.
Fuckings.
I see that.
I see that.
That's good.
That's good.
Eli doesn't know him, but hey, it works.
We got one coming in from Terrace.
Oh, cool.
The city survived.
Hey, I did it.
Der Castile Superb Bastille.
I'm pulling from the archives a bit,
but Pat's family fought pie story had me heated.
Oh, man.
Thinking about it for the record, I'm in a camp slicing it six ways
so that you can satisfy the OCD and keep the distribution even.
Mom just wanted the fourth piece.
I, anyway, have my own food-based argument.
Boyfriend and I disagree about the pancakes and waffles,
whether or not they're desserts.
I wholly am convinced that they are and he cannot be swayed.
We have reached a tenuous peace on the grounds
that specific toppings make them desserts,
like chocolate chips and whipped cream.
I hold their desserts even when served with maple syrup.
You're fucking nuts.
Please help us settle once and for all.
Thanks for the content and entertaining this most serious nonsense.
Pancake by itself ain't a fucking dessert,
but you go to a breakfast place and they throw fucking chocolate chips
and fucking whipped cream on that shit.
You're fucking kidding yourself.
That's not a dessert in the morning.
Terrace, you need to wake the fuck up and recognize
that a pancake is absolutely breakfast
and you're wildly insane if you think otherwise.
Like you go have a crepe that's like,
it's got raspberry filling and the whipped cream
and a fucking chocolate.
He's like, okay, that's a candy.
A waffle is also breakfast.
Yeah.
And here's the thing.
If you make it a dessert waffle
with the chocolate and the whipped cream with the cherry on it,
you've made it a dessert waffle,
thus denoting the dessert adjective
as the modifier to the breakfast waffle.
That is by default a breakfast food.
Grow the fuck up.
You're full of shit.
Both of you, you're both full of shit.
Next.
Nico says, hey guys,
how come you don't like Yukari?
She's cute, has fun moments and is developed as a character.
You're just mad because she dunks on Junpei?
Let's keep this one really, really short.
I hate the fact that the game forces you to make out with her
and forces her to be a fake-like relationship,
despite the fact that you are clearly interested in other people
in your choices.
I don't like games where they force you to have a love interest
that might not be your love interest.
All right.
Think that shit's bullshit.
In addition to that, I don't like the thing she says
or her as a person.
All right.
The end.
I'll shorten that for you.
My dad.
Hey, my dad is dead.
I hate him so much.
That's why we don't like Yukari.
P.S.
And Yumi.
P.S.
The answer.
You want the Yukari show?
You got it.
What's the point of making relationships?
I don't know, man.
It's a human thing.
If you're going to then pick one to be the one that matters the most,
that you're going to shove down the player's throat,
even if they don't want it at all in any way, shape, or form.
I don't fucking know.
I think Assassin's Creed Odyssey had a similar problem.
Yeah, sure.
Assassin's Creed Odyssey had it the worst ever.
Yeah, I heard, I heard.
Gotta get that baby though.
Gotta get that baby no matter what you're doing.
Gotta get that baby.
You gotta get the baby.
Listen, honey, I know you weird shit.
Whatever.
You got the family line.
Yes, yes.
Go out there, be an assassin, do your,
sew your royal oats, do your thing.
But it's all just a phase because at the end of the day,
gotta get that baby.
Gotta get some grandkids in here.
Come on now.
Who are we kidding?
Who are we kidding?
See all that empty space down there?
That's space where a baby could be.
I heard about that.
That was, that shit was wild.
People are fucking pissed.
They were right to be fucking pissed.
Could you imagine playing your whole story?
Being like.
Exclusively gay.
No.
Just 100%.
Not interested.
And like every once in a while,
like a dick comes from the side of the screen
and you're just like, no.
No.
And then another one comes in like Luke.
Are you like, no?
Just swatting it away.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
Gross.
And then, then then one is like,
no, but this one has a baby though.
I could get pregnant from that one.
Oh shit.
Yeah, that's Rikes.
That's Rikes yikes.
So anyway, and I want to say there's another game I played
where I really got upset at being forced together
where they, the game was trying to do this.
But I don't remember.
It was beyond two souls.
Ah, thank you.
Thank you very much.
I know because me and Paige played through it
a couple months ago and she was having the similar like,
what?
No, like just can't.
Just can't.
Just like.
God, that dude's a scumbag.
He's so gross.
Can we get a no, look a no, except it's your womb?
Yikes.
Oh, the little womb.
Hand comes out and bats it away.
No, no, no.
The defense bees are asleep.
Terrible.
That's a lot that, you know what?
That's not for you.
Don't worry about that.
Don't worry about the defense bees.
Inferring.
And yeah, no, I probably get it though.
Yeah.
The uterus has defense bees.
Yeah, exactly.
That's that's that's 100%.
They defend 1000% what I thought was happening there.
Yeah.
Yep.
You got to get the honey to bait them out.
Wait, what?
Or flowers rather.
Do flowers bait them out?
Is that why we is that why flowers are romantic?
You're expecting a fucking.
Yeah, you know what?
You're Willie's right.
The flowers lull the bees into a sense of calmness.
And they they and they vacate the hive and leaving it leaving it open leaving it
unprotected and vulnerable.
See, you thought you thought it wasn't for me.
And I just took that shit and 2.0ed it.
Oh, I hate it.
Oh, this is bad.
This is a bad thought to do.
Dear Basil Cooper ceased.
Which these are terrible.
Everyone seems to.
I mean, a lot of people have the same thought or if they mix the letters around mad lives at.
You were talking the other week about gamer marketed accessories.
Sure.
I was thinking about rebranding the mountain.
The rebranding of Mountain Dew game fuel in the States game fuel was once sold in the
fall season as two flavors, citrus, cherry and something else.
And a different game would be on the can each year, mainly stuff like Forza,
COD, Halo, etc.
Early this year, they rebranded it to be an energy drink.
But friends, this is an energy drink for gamers.
The drink apparently has ingredients shown to improve accuracy and alertness and even has,
I shit you not, a tactile grip, which is texturing on the sides, resealable tech,
i.e. a weird sliding tab that keeps it from spilling, which is actually nice.
The new gamer fuel also has a fucking atrocious ad, which I have linked down here,
but I'll go ahead and spoil that the titles of these ads are Win Sauce and Loser Tears.
It also has a ridiculous amount of sugar, of course, so for your sake, please stay away.
So yeah, I didn't have to care about this existence to already know that it existed
because gamer fuel is a thing.
So many people have been asking me about the cube.
Including people I never would have expected.
People want cubes and they want gamer cubes.
No, it's actually they want cubes and they are kind of grossed out that it's a gamer cube.
But yeah.
Well, what about drinking gamer fuel in your gamer cube?
Red Bull's my gamer fuel of choice.
Does it have tactile grip?
No, but I got tiny hands.
It works.
Cheers.
Yeah.
Cheers everybody.
I don't like character action.
The reason might shock you.
All right.
I'm I'm ready to be surprised.
Hello there.
One half one man, one and a half man.
Thiego here.
Clickbait title aside.
I wanted to bring up an issue I have with character action games.
The problem is that the category in itself and not the games in it.
I for one love all the DMC, MGR and Beos in the world.
But at the end of the day, they're just good action games with good combat engines.
My main source of the is the issue of the title character action.
All it does is let action games be subpar action like New God of War.
Bam hams.
What have you?
What's bam hams?
I don't know what bam hams is.
Get away.
I don't know what the fuck that is.
Let's you get away with it because they aren't character action.
Every time I bring this up, I'm usually met with
well try harder difficulties because normal normal combat is brainless,
which I don't think is a good point.
Oh, Batman.
He's talking about Batman.
Okay.
I don't think this is a good this is a good point when all these have already
already have harder difficulties.
The point is moot in my book.
What do you think?
He describes God of War as an action game and not on whatever.
God of War is an action adventure.
It places a significant degree of its gameplay loop and experience on the
adventuring as in level, traversal, occasional puzzles, etc.
The reason why character action games are labeled character action games
is because their design is almost entirely laser focused on your character,
what they can do, what they can, what happens to them, etc.
The character action definition is like basically how long is your character's
move list?
Is it like 50% of the game's total mechanics are things that you can do with a press of a button?
That's a character action game.
If it's like, I don't know, a side scrolling beat them up in which the the distinction is
you have a limited moveset and the enemies have their own limited movesets,
that's a beat them up.
There's a reason for that.
That's why the original God of War games could be technically classified under
character action adventure.
But the new God of War is absolutely explicitly action adventure.
Okay, so you let them off the hook when they're hybrid adventure games.
What do you mean let them off the hook?
Like if you're playing a game, not Zelda, but if you're playing a game where
you've got a jump button and an attack button and maybe like another attack button,
but for the most part you're looking at, I'm thinking of like, let's say a PS2,
PS1, like medieval or something where you're just platforming and sorting
enemies and it's just a normal video game as video game.
I call medieval like a platform, honestly.
Platformer, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's weird.
That game's weird.
I'm trying to find the perfect like thing where the platforming is a part of it,
but not most of it, but it's just you just kind of beat shit up and you know,
like I'm trying to find an example, right, of like a forgettable action game.
A task that is obviously hard because they're forgettable.
But and not one and not one where you have guns because that just turns it into a shooter.
What about fighting force or fucking MK special forces?
Right.
So beat them ups, you know.
But effectively action is too broad.
Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts one.
Kingdom Hearts has RPG elements to it.
Remember me.
Remember me.
Nothing is an action game anymore.
Yeah, remember me is definitely that one where you're like,
I would have called it a beat them up,
except that like it came out way later and has things that.
Yeah, remember me, I guess is one of those bits.
It could be that could be something like that.
That's a good pick.
But the point remains, you know, he's kind of saying effectively that
like character action games are actually just really good action games.
Yeah, the problem is the genres in video games suck ass.
That's the real problem because in film and literature and every other thing,
your genre is decided by your tone.
The other problem is not how where the camera is or how arbitrary it is,
whether you've pinned slash to the button press or to selecting the slash attack.
Yeah, it's totally, you know, or whether time stops between actions like those games are the
only ones in which genre is devoted to like a mechanical technical mechanical.
It's like the way people classify cars.
But cars don't have tones.
It's a fucking car.
Is every game where you control a car racing game?
No.
Rocket League exists.
Yeah.
Is burnout even a racing game?
And not certain modes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's an interesting argument.
I think getting all buttered over shot racing games is a fool's errand because they're terrible.
Yeah, I think it's starting to say I'm not I'm not too sure about this one.
I'd have to I'd have to look at a bunch of examples in front of me and think about it a little bit.
You want.
Hey, you want to know how bad game genres are?
What's an RPG role playing game?
Yeah, you play a role in every game you play.
It's breath of the wild and RPG.
Get ready for that argument to go forever.
And I'm not even willing to have it anymore.
I remember when I remember when Tips and Tricks classified Ocarina of Time as an action adventure game.
Yeah.
And that to me has been what Zelda is forever because that's what I read in Tips and Tricks one time.
If you see damage numbers, does that make a difference?
Yeah.
See damage numbers in Monster Hunter.
You see them in Battle Fantasia.
Like fucking seriously?
Yeah, that's weird.
Yeah, they put them in because they thought girls would like it more.
Girls do like numbers.
Like director of the game specifically said we put numbers on display because it would look like an RPG.
I spoke to a girl once.
She told me she liked numbers.
Fantastic.
There you go.
He was right.
Yeah.
Good idea.
Yeah, man.
I don't know.
Let's take one here from
Ground Awesome says arcade story a few years ago.
I went to an arcade for the first time in nearly 20 years.
There's never one near me.
I played a few rounds of Street Fighter 3.
Got my ass handed to me by the computer.
Wandered off and played some other games.
Later I saw a guy playing against the CPU.
He was four to five rounds deep in the arcade more than I ever got.
And the most recent round he got a perfect against the CPU of my main who was Remy.
Even though I don't want to call him a main because I suck.
So it's a huge stretch.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Wanted to I wanted to try playing against the human.
So I came up and I said, Hey, do you mind if I play?
It really sucks.
You probably beat me.
No problem.
He agreed.
And then I started beating him.
I felt bad because I just said how I was so bad.
So I ended up throwing the match.
You guys seem more competitive.
But I wonder if something like this has ever happened to you guys.
Love.
Thanks.
No, I don't relate to that at all.
I remember in the past playing with friends.
And not doing it out of a moral obligation or anything like that.
But like they seem to be getting discouraged.
Maybe I'm going to ease off a bit.
Stop doing that real quick because boy,
nothing gets people more pissed than being like fucking pity fucked with in a game.
You know what?
Everyone's done it.
Don't tell me you haven't done that.
Yeah, you just reminded me of a nice big one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
You see every Friday.
No, no, no.
We're not doing that.
It was D.B.C.
It was that match, wasn't it?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
It's not that.
Yeah.
Yeah, you fucking know.
No, but I remember I remember when we would play certain games and like we play like Marvel
or something.
So I'll do.
And I was just like no one had a fucking.
And I was like, yeah, this is the game I've been fucking.
Trying to enter tournaments for and playing or whatever.
This is a fucking joke.
Just gonna, what do you want me to say?
Right?
Whatever, right?
Of course, you got to take it easy.
You'd like one step easier.
And there didn't change the results much.
But regardless.
Just drop the combo once in a while.
But the amount of folks and this was back in the like this was around early machinima days too.
So this was people kind of way back.
Still kind of getting to know or meet and know who I am or whatever.
This was I hate.
This was the era of I hate that Willie tries to take control of the podcast so much.
He should just sit back and enjoy the ride.
It's not his show.
It is your show.
It's that era.
It's OK, right?
And it's always been your show.
And so and there was a really, really, really large collection of like like surprising amounts
of shit and anger from me just playing to win in those situations.
And so they enjoyed watching the video less as a result.
I wonder, I wonder how much of that is any lingering personal dislike for you from whatever.
And how much of that is just simply.
I don't like it when people play to win against me because then I lose.
I think I think it's because it's like, oh, I might have reminded them of the guy that in
college would always just crush everybody and make it not fun to play Smash or something.
I don't know.
I'm going to go ahead and guess that's what it is.
But either way, it was very, very, very venomous, more so than usual.
Did you see and it was something that I didn't
I never really talked about this much, but I'll bring it up here because whatever it was back then.
But that this type of thing would happen.
And like so.
And it's it particularly some people would latch on to the whole woolly picks bosses joke
and go really, really extreme with it to the point where like some of it landed on scrub quotes
because of how angry some people were about some fisticuffs episodes and stuff.
So on the scrub quotes right now, actually, I mean, there was way back when.
But it kind of got wacky, right?
I've been on scrub quotes.
Yeah, plagues, plagues, gronto quotes.
Yeah, like.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that there came a certain point where I was like, well.
I think the thing to do is to.
Not necessarily pick your main just random select fly around the roster.
Talk while you're playing.
Don't pay too much attention to the results and just hit those buttons and do your thing,
which I pretty much did for every episode afterwards.
Yeah, because.
And then if we ever ran in, I'm not going to lie.
I felt really bad taking all that heat in.
Yeah, because I care a lot about fighting games.
Yeah.
So I decided to just random select and don't care and just talk and who care or whatever.
Oh, good job.
And just that shows.
Don't the ultimate bigness.
And that was every every FNF after.
Yeah.
For the rest of the entire franchise.
I saw as a result on some quotes a little while ago.
That's a truth.
This lady wrote in to or no, she didn't write in.
She told a story, I think on her Instagram and scrub quotes picked it up.
And that's a bit odd to grab an Instagram or a Tumblr story.
But it was her describing her breakup with her boyfriend and that her boyfriend and her
love to play games and her boyfriend like to play fighting games.
They like to play Call of Duty, that kind of thing.
And Tetris and every now and then.
Yes, they'd play together and he just absolutely wiped the floor with her.
And I was like, ah, the good sport.
Ah, you got me.
Ah, it's fun.
But then Tetris rolls around.
Yes.
And unknown to her boyfriend.
Like many women, this woman is a pocket champion.
Just hiding those fucking dank Tetris skills.
Block beast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I play a couple games with Tetris and she just wipes the floor with it.
Yeah.
At which point she thinks they're having fun.
Then he gets quiet and quiet and quiet and then mad.
And then she goes, oh, hey, good games.
He goes, whatever.
I don't want to play a game against somebody who's always going to win.
She goes, oh, okay.
He's throwing a tantrum.
She goes home.
She goes out.
I think she turns her phone off.
Turns it back on to get messages going.
Where are you?
Why aren't you answering my texts?
What are you practicing Tetris?
So you'll never lose again.
Yeah.
And she goes, uh, and then in comes the text after text after text after text after text after text.
And he went back to playing other shit in the other side of the house.
I remember she mentioned at which point she goes, you know what?
Fuck this.
I'm out and breaks up with them.
Fantastic.
And just like some people just can't lose.
They will not allow themselves to lose.
And here's the thing, right?
That if you're willing to react that way to the person you're in a relationship with,
how are you going to react to some random person?
Of course you're fucking cutting that cord.
Of course you're pulling that other net cable out.
Of course you're telling them to go fuck themselves and writing a message afterwards.
You're flipping that Yu-Gi-Oh! table.
You're you're yelling at your fucking girl over her crushing you in Tetris.
What chance did you have against a rando that was actually better than you?
Ego, hubris, all of it.
You beat me a Pokemon.
I'm gonna poop in my hand and throw it at you.
Oh God, fragile little boy.
What a fucking tot.
You know, amazing.
I love that tweet so much.
It was unbelievable.
It was great.
It's a reminder that every now and then you think someone's being facetious.
You think somebody's hyperbolic.
But yes, people like this do exist.
But they are real.
Yeah, yeah.
And and and also hand in hand, there is a lot of unexpected gods in Tetris out there.
Oh, they're everywhere.
You'll never know.
There's a lot of people that got that Game Boy and never played anything else.
And you need to fucking just accept it.
You know, because that original is like the hardest one.
Yeah, because it's bullshit.
Well, that's not true because the Grandmaster and the crazy shit that came.
My sister had kept playing games.
Terror instinct and all that.
Nonsense.
My sister had kept playing games.
She fell off like in the when she was in her early teens.
But had she kept going with it, she'd probably be up in the floor with you in Tetris.
I believe it is fiending all over that shit.
I believe it like a genius or some shit.
I mean, I lived and breathed it while for a while.
But then I stopped anyone that didn't automatically a sense to God.
That's the end of that, you know?
Yeah, that's a fun story.
So there you go.
And let's take one last one here from.
Well, if you don't leave a name, I'm not going to read out your email.
So from some nameless fool, their baby jokes are always funny crew.
Yeah, they're pretty funny.
Long time fan since the release of Dead Space 2 on Machinima.
Love you guys.
Wife and I have been having a disagreement about the song, Weight of the World.
All right.
Careful reading this near Automata since its release.
I love the song so much that sometimes I sing it to myself with the game in mind
and my eyes tear up a bit.
OK.
My wife hates it, even though we both fairly fall into the same category
and most of the time share the same music taste.
It does burn me a little because of how much I love the song and her.
So my question is dump or no, my question is divorce is always on the table.
What is something you love, but your significant other has the opposite feelings about
and how did you go about it?
So I have two recent ones that come to mind here and it's hilarious because you know, Steph.
I do, right?
The moment anything is even slightly like disagreeable in some way.
She's just like, oh, well, well, it's not for me.
She's a very pleasant person.
And so I own two articles of clothing in particular.
One of them is I have a bunch of suits and shit.
Yeah.
And to go with some of those suits because for a while I didn't have any church shoes
because, you know, fuck that.
But now that I've got my suits again, I want shoes to match because I can't really rock
Evangelion, Swiss, you know, I mean, you can and I did, but I eventually wanted to have something
else.
So I got a pair of dress shoes that are suede.
Yeah.
And they're like single cut, you know, piece.
And I think they look pretty nice.
They're pretty cool.
And for the most part, others have agreed that like, yeah, those are cool.
And every time I put them on, she's like, OK, you know, oh, yeah, a little bit, you know.
And I was like, eventually I was like, you have a problem with these shoes?
She's like, what?
No.
I'm like, do you like these shoes?
And she's like, well, they're they're just they're different.
Oh, I like, hold up, scratch that.
Stop, stop, stop.
They're fine.
They're fine, you know.
And I'm like, I like, I think they're just they're just they're different.
You know, I'm like, they're different from good.
And she just I had to like, I had to drag it, squeeze it out like an orange, just fucking
pulp it, you know, and I couldn't get it until like later on that evening when someone else
went, oh, hey, look, cool shoes.
And I'm cool shoes.
I was like, can you say that again a little bit louder for the people in the back?
And I grabbed her over, you know, and I was just like, say it.
It's like, no.
I'm like, say it.
It's like, I don't want to.
And it just won't do it, you know.
And then it happened again, because I got me a pair of like red jeans that are kind of
like eory-ish.
Sure.
And I think they're pretty cool.
Mine is still they don't have the little fucking strap thing, but they're cool just
red jeans to go with certain shirts that I have that would work with that color combination.
Sure.
And I got the same face again.
And I was just like, you don't fucking like me wearing these jeans, do you?
You know, it's like, I just, I think they're a different style.
And I think that's fine.
It doesn't matter what I think.
And I'm like, no, say it.
Say you hate the jeans.
She's like, I don't hate the jeans.
I'm like, what the fuck can't get it out there.
But yes, certain articles of clothing, I will occasionally get a weird look or noise.
And then as soon as I notice it, it becomes like the back down game.
And I'm just like, I want to hear the truth.
Give me the fucking truth.
And I can't get it.
So yeah, that's the closest I can think of.
So to answer your question, if me and my significant other ever disagree strongly
on any particular point and how we deal with it, I would point you to twitch.tv slash
angriest pet and or twitch.tv slash peach saliva and click on any one of those videos.
Click on literally any video ever.
Here's how it goes.
Woman, are you drinking mustard out of the bottle like some kind of fucking freakazoid
salt obsessed Neanderthal?
And she goes, yeah, fuck you, bitch.
What are you going to do about it?
Fight me, bitch.
And I go, I should fucking fight you.
And she'll go, yeah, I'm yeah.
And then I go, yeah.
And then we pet our cat.
I'm a big fan of throwing out every once in a while if it's contextually accurate.
Act like you've been around people.
The problem is we've been around our people.
Our people is like this.
There you go.
Pat, why are you like this?
Why do you got to sleep in the bed like a fucking crazy person?
Because I like the envelope, woman.
The envelope keeps you safe.
Why you got to move the covers around?
You're fucking crazy.
Just sit in the same place and sleep like a fucking vampire, like a normal person.
What?
A normal person sleeps like a vampire with their elbows to their sides,
classo their chest like a fucking craze.
It's, yeah, I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's a lot faster than your method.
You need the speed.
And I want to throw a little PS in there and say,
did she watch you play near?
She was there for behalf of it.
No, no, no, no.
I'm talking to the person who wrote the letter.
Because is it possible that like not giving a fuck is based on not getting the context?
Because that might be part of it.
But either way, it's beautiful.
But yeah.
So yeah, these are the two ways you could deal with this.
The hard way and the brutal way.
I would highly suggest Woolies Manor.
It takes a certain personality type to do it my way.
It takes a take some stamina.
You got to pump that stem.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
Or endurance.
I don't know which one.
Whatever, man.
Okay.
It's a sex joke.
Not where I was going.
I meant mental wherewithal.
Yeah, to enter your home.
That's what I'm talking about.
The pace, the place of peace that you're supposed to.
You know, the place of peace.
The place of peace where you're supposed to rest and bring all of your chakras back to the center.
To enter the home.
And instead of using, and instead of hearing the flutter theme or the fucking save room theme,
you hear the boss encounter music.
Oh fuck yeah.
Invigorating.
Yeah, that takes a certain kind of build.
Yeah, it does.
Takes a certain kind of build.
Relationships don't need an easy mode, man.
Come on.
It's not what I'm saying.
I have save rooms.
They're far and few in between.
Oh man.
But when I enter those doors, I need that music playing.
I really, really need it.
Oh man.
I'm so excited for the fallout from this conversation.
What's going down?
I mean, it's happening live.
She's in the chat.
Yeah, she's in the chat.
She's like on the block.
Fuck.
She's like 150 feet away from us right now.
Okay, well.
I'm going to walk out.
I texted her, by the way.
I'm like, by the way, I'm talking mad shit about you.
Surprised I didn't hear them boots.
Oh, those I thought I haven't seen those in a while.
No, she coming.
All right.
Let's let's let's wrap it up.
So you can go deal with that shit.
Oh, couldn't be happier.
Yeah, I'll take the construction noises from this.
What, you can't handle a little conflict.
Oh, all right.
That's anything.
Yeah, whatever.
Let's just call it there.
Okay.
That's the podcast is over.
Bye.
Bye.
The defense program has initiated a purge.
If this continues, our consciousness data will likely be deleted.
Pod zero four two to pod one five three.
We were created to execute the android's project your hot plan.
We had no capacity for emotion.
But when we six were connected at exchange information,
something happened.
I cannot deny the feeling of something resembling consciousness and emotion being born.
I'm able to reply.
Perhaps we now understand that not everything has to have an answer.
I need you more than ever.
Because we're going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I wish that's the way.
Maybe if I keep believing my dreams will come.
I can still still feel the gentle breeze no matter how hard I pray
sons of one still remain and life has become my enemy.
Tell me God are you punishing me?
Is this the price I'm paying for my past mistakes?
This is my redemption song.
I need you more than ever right now.
Can you hear me now?
Because we're going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I wish that's the way somehow that I could take everyone above.
But the truth is that I'm only one girl.
Maybe if I keep believing my dreams will come to life.
Come to life.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
Are you punishing me? Is this the price I'm paying for my past mistakes?
This is my redemption song. I need you more than ever right now.
Can you hear me now?
This is my redemption song. I need you more than ever right now.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
I'm going to show you even if I would see me like I'm carrying the way.
Thank you.