Castle Super Beast - CSB 027: Ping Crimson: Packet Loss Requiem
Episode Date: July 23, 2019Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps SDCC 2019 is on, big talk for big boys, MCU phase 4. LOL stadia. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast For $...20 off a suitcase, visit http://awaytravel.com/BEAST and use promo code BEAST during checkout! Outro: 2 Mello - A Maker's Mission (I Wanna Maker OST) Shigesato Itoi still wants someone else to make mother 4 If the Stadia service is discontinued, do we know what (if anything) will happen with game purchases? San Diego Comic-Con Death Stranding panel Kevin Smith was told the last shot of Episode 9 will “Melt Your Mind” Marvel Phase 4 Star Trek: Picard Netflix’s The Witcher Terminator Dark Fate: Cameron, Arnold, Hamilton, Furlong FictionSphere Is A Mega Man X-Esque Platformer And Brawler Combination
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The End
The End
Good Afternoon
Good Afternoon
You like comic books?
No
Do you like comic book movies?
Yes
Good
Because we're going to talk a lot about comic book movies
What?
But why?
Because San Diego Comic Con happened this weekend and that erupted and eclipsed all video game news
I feel like this is the biggest movie nerd announcement drop for films ever like in a day
No
They announced like 10 movies
No they didn't
They announced like 10 things
Okay
But like half of those things are TV shows
They tricked us
They tricked you
They also announced the worst logo I've ever seen
That Loki one
Oh is that the one that bugs you?
Oh I don't like it
Hmm
Well in any case
It's four different shittier logos
We'll get there
Massed together in a one
We'll get there
Hey Willie how are you?
I'm alright how are you?
I am good
Okay
I'm good
Um
Hey man
Fuck all this shit
Tell me about race wars
You finally went and did it huh?
Synthwave
Cars
Red line
Pinout
It's a good it's you know me and Reggie and Min
We play racing games sometimes
Yeah
And we play them competitively
Like a battle
Between you
Exactly
So the race with our cars also has like a war
Yeah
Dynamic
And you're going fast so it's a race
That's correct
Um
The
Pulling the trigger on that one is really funny
Because obviously it's been that's been floating around for a while
I've been hearing you
I remember hearing you say that the first time
Like four and a half years ago
I've been waiting to pull the trigger on that one for a while
But the amount of people that write off the bat are like
Like know I get the joke and I think this is a bad idea
It's very very different
There's a lot
There's a lot of people that are just like
Good joke good joke don't do it
Don't do it
Bad joke
Maybe you know
And then of course the clip from White's Kids You Know
Yeah
With the guy with the bat going
Race war
Come on
Come on
Let's go
No man
Come on race war
You know so
Yeah
That's going down
That's what's
That's the new show
That's what's happening
Good stuff
Good stuff
More importantly than that
There's a new Volta animation to go with
Yeah
I mean it's not new
That's the thing
It's actually super old
Really?
So
I mean the animation
Okay there was an original version of it
That's really old
Uh huh
And then it's been
Re-
Re-raced
Yeah it's been updated
And changed a little bit
And the other thing too is like
The original one was made back in a time when he
Was also kind of like
I've gotten so much better now
So he's also a bit like
Eh right
You know
I talked to Volta about animation
I'm like
You're the greatest it's unbelievable
And he's like
I don't know man
This last one I did was pretty garbage
And I'm like
You're like a studio
Yeah
So this was like
This was his red line
Inspired take on cool
Synthwave car racing with me
And the guys on Woolly Versus
But the style was like
From two years ago
When he actually set everything up
So now it's kind of just like
Okay this is the bare minimum
I'm willing to put out
The time around
He would probably have modeled 3D cars
Like a two snack style
No sense run
So
God bless
Yeah that's really fun
It's a new show on Woolly Versus
If you're wondering what it is
People are wondering what it is
Racing games are good
Yep
Sometimes
Yeah yeah
And so
You know
That was what
What we did over
You know
Take the baton right there
That was CTR
That you did the first time right
We did CTR
We did crash team racing
And
As expected
The crash team racing
Bandicoot heads came out
And we're all
You know
Very much like
Fuck yeah
Oh god they don't know how to play
Aw shit
They've never played it before
I can't watch this video
And you know
But
It's
There's people that love
And fiend that game
We talked
I talked about it in the actual video
You know
It's like it's an alternate reality path
From everyone I know
That played Mario Kart
I think
CTR is the first game
That I told people I hated
Just so that the people who liked it
Would shut the fuck up
Yeah
Because
I know it's a good game
You guys like a good game
But from Mario 64
Mario Kart 64 onwards
Yeah
Every time one came out
There was just this fucking
Eldritch droning in the background
I was like
Yeah but CTR though
Yeah
I was like
Shut up that game is dead man
I guess not
Turns out
It's really fun
It feels good
And
It took a minute to get used to
The new drifting boosting system
But
It was fun
Had a good time with it
Talked about a little bit about that
Last week actually
Then I also talked about
TSR of course
Which
You know
I barely remembered
Stood for
Team Sonic Racing
Because
The fantasy company
Yeah
Well that's the second
TSR in my brain
Oh what's the first
The first TSR in my brain
Any time someone says it
Is full metal panic
The second rate
Okay
One of the greatest fucking
One of my favorite animes
Is that the one with
Zabumafu or whatever
Fumafu is the
Is the season before that
It's Zabumafu
I just realized
That's the fucking
Lemur on the kids TV
Yeah
Fumafu was
Fun
High school
High jinks
And then TSR was when
Shit got real
In the best possible way
It was awesome
Of course
Not only is that
One of the best fucking
Seasons of anything
I remember enjoying thoroughly
It was made by Kill Annie
So
Yeah
That's some garbage
That
Was not fun to hear about
This week
Obviously
And
You know
Yeah
That's one of those things
You're just like
Yep
Yep that's the state
Of the world we live in
It's so senselessly tragic
That I don't even know
What to say
Exactly
It's one of those
Just
I'm just gonna sit here
And be defeated
In my
In how I feel
As I read
More and more about this
Because you're just
And then you stop
Reading more and more about it
Because you're like
I'm very
Over and done this
Yes
No thank you
Yeah
I
Yeah
That was
Incredibly upsetting
But
You know
It
TSR
Let's just
Hey
TSR
Video games huh
So
The
Blah
What was I going to talk about
You talk about video games
Yes
I was gonna talk about
The other racing game
I played this week
Was
Horizon Chase Turbo
Which is free for
PSN Plus users
And
I've
Never heard of this
So I struggle to
Look at the video
Have you heard of
Top Gear
Yes I have heard of
Top Gear
Have you played Top Gear
I've heard you
Constantly refer
To video games
As Top Gear
No
There's not a lot of
Top Gear out there
No I mean last week
You kept going
We were talking about racing games
You were like
Your position
On racing games
Is
Racing games are cool
But I really like
Top Gear
Yeah
Cause Top Gear
Doesn't feel
Oh my god that's just
Top Gear
That's just
Top Gear
Horizon Chase Turbo
Not Zero Dawn
Mind you
It's 3D Top Gear
It doesn't
Top Gear doesn't feel
Like
You're driving a car
It's not a racing simulator
It has nothing to do with cars
It is
It is
It is a
Accelerate
And decelerate
And
Like
Dodge cars
Top Gear
And then choose when you
Boost your nitro
Kind of thing
Yeah
And yeah
Felt really great
Went through that
Really enjoyed that
Proper
Like a feeling
The
Seeing the sides of the road
With the red and white checkers
Is really like
Just brings me right back to it
And it literally
Is a game that got
The composer of the
Top Gear games
To make their soundtrack as well
And it actually has
Top Gear music in it
Wait what?
How do they get away with that?
I have no idea
However
Okay fine
That's Top Gear
Tecmo or KEMCO
Or whatever the fuck
They did
They got
Did you say KEMCO?
There was a
Yeah
That's a real company?
Yeah
Are you serious?
Yeah
Fuck off
They got the music
Of at least
One or two tracks
In that game
And goddamn
If I didn't
Fucking keep singing
At the whole time
I feel like video games
Are unique
In that
They're the only medium
I can think of
Where you go
That's just Top Gear
You don't read a poem
I go oh yeah
That's just Poe all the way
Right
Oh that's a Whitman
But it's not Whitman
It's like
Like
Yeah
No I
To me
Top Gear was also like
That's
I don't know if it's what I
Was
I don't know if it's the first thing
That pointed me towards
Overclocked Remix
But it was the most definitive part
Of Overclocked Remix
Was the Top Gear remixes
Really?
That was the strongest, strongest, strongest
Thing for me with a bullet
Like
Going and catching
Mega Man X remixes
Was always fun
And going back
And catching like
Metroid stuff was fun
But
For me it was always
About the Top Gear music
Cause that was
That was originally
Like my favorite OST
When the fuck
Did that happen for me
It just kinda
It just
I just started listening
Just started
Yeah I don't know
I feel like
I feel like
The Top Gear soundtrack
Was my favorite
Prior to
Katamari's existence
You know
That's one of those
Like
Lifelong
Obsessions I've had
But yeah
The
Horizon Chase Zero
Is really fun in that
In that way
And feels the same
And has
Lots of obviously
More car options
And everything that you'd want
From a modern
Feeling Top Gear
What it
Bothers me
What bothers me about it though
Is that
It has a
Like
Very very
It has a modern
Unlock system
Where
You start out the game
And on a fresh save
You have options
And one
Menu item
Which is like
A world tour
Sort of thing
Where you pick race by race
And all the other
Types of modes
Are ways to drive
Are
Blocked off completely
That's a little more
Than you would expect
It's extreme
Right
You don't even get
Different modes
In addition to cars
And cars
Being locked obviously
And maps
Being locked of course
And then the upgrades
For the cars
Being locked as well
So they make you
Unlock
Every single thing
In the game
That's not
The first mode
First race
Just like
The good old days
Yeah, it was
Really aggressive with that
You know
So I didn't like that
And I
It made me
Just kind of like
You know
I talk about it
A little bit
When we play it in the video
But games should have
A menu
A main menu
Where you
If it's the type of game
That has multiple modes
Then you should
Offer those modes up
Right off the bat
What you should be unlocking
Is the content
In those modes
So stages
Characters
Upgrades
You know
Cosmetics
Abilities
Whatever
That's the type of stuff
That you should be
Progressing and unlocking
But if there's a different
Way to play
Versus mode
Unlocked when you press start
Exactly
Right
Even though that
Versus mode is terrible
Don't lock
Practice mode
Or
You know
Battle mode
Or anything like that
Behind a progression thing
It's the modes of your game
You know
If I want to play cards with you
No, okay
That's a bad analogy
That's a bad
Okay
I'm just going to
Rip the cord on that one
But
Yeah
You want to have
Different ways to play your game
Up front
And then just let the
Unlockable content
Be what you do
After that screen
You know
So anyway though
Once that all happens
Though once the card
It's all there
Which
We got to play on Min's
Save
Because he unlocked everything
It was a blast
It was really really fun
And
It also has a weird thing
Of like
Once you upgrade
Your card
Like instead of having
You go from
50 ccs
To 100 ccs
To 150 ccs
Your card analogy
You're talking about
Horizon or CTR
I'm talking about
Horizon
Got it
Right
You start out as
The slowest cars
And then
You know
You upgrade your cards
And they get faster
Yeah
So it's not that you pick
A higher class of
Car
It's more incremental
Right
Exactly
But once you do them
Those are permanently
Permanently on your car
You know
Oh God
So
There's a mode where
You can go back to
Using a previous version
So
It's a permanent change
To that car
On your save file
Because I
Think back to
Something like
I'll say
Need for speed 4
And you'd unlock
Like the McLaren F1
At the end of the game
Was like the last car
And just like
Trying to play
Any of the early game
Tracks with that
Was unplayable
Because the acceleration
Was so fast
You'd like blow past
Every single turn
Into the wall
Yeah
And the ability of like
Oh yeah
Hey I unlocked every
Now the car goes too fast
Yeah
Is a weird situation
When you hit a turn
And you let go of the gas
Completely
Just let it coast
Itself around the corner
And then the moment
Is like
Coasting isn't enough
Now I gotta break it
Yeah
Or I have to pre-let go
Of the gas
That's not fun
And all you really have to do
Is
Ironically enough
Emulate top gear
By
Having you choose
Your engine
And your different
Custom car parts
After you
Pick your car
So that you can
Take the slower one
If you want
Or the new upgraded one
Just unlock the choices
To go higher
But don't take away
The older ones
You know
Yeah
Imagine if every time
You got a better
Update to your pilot
In Titanfall
Like
It took away
The older options
Yeah
That'd be bad
That'd be bad to do
Don't do that
But anyway
Otherwise
Very great game
And if you have PS Plus
You're not missing
Press the button
And then
Get the game
Get the video game
Get it
Also took a look at
And finally played
Ace Combat 7
Dude
I marked the fuck out
When I saw you were playing
Ace Combat 7
Is this the first one
You've actually put your hands on?
For more than a few minutes
Yeah
Yeah
I've played
Some of the earlier ones
When
Because my old roommate
Was obsessed with Ace Combat
So like I'd watch him
Play a lot
And I would
Like
And I touched a bit
Of it back then
Really not much
And
Boy did I get my ass blown out
Um
Because I started playing it
And I was like
Okay yeah
It feels a little bit like
Um
Like
After Burner Climax
Which I love
In the arcades
That's the
That's the
Yeah
I played it
Yeah
It's a good game
It's unfortunately delisted
From fucking
The old platforms
Um
And I was really
I was enjoying that
And then
Everyone
Was a little confused
It felt like
After Burner Climax
Well
Allowed me to elaborate
As I was
Like as I was flying around
And going like
Okay I'm getting used to the
Feel of it
Everyone goes
Stop
My eyes narrow
Pause the game
Turn normal mode off
Oh you bitch
And turn
Oh you shit
And turn expert mode on
You
Oh
You people
Oh
I hate it
I would
Oh man
I'm
Mentally typing
So loud
In my mind
At you
They should not allow
They should
They should call that
Okay
Normal mode at baby
Baby
Poop is diaper mode
I'm hearing
I'm hearing what you're saying
I can't tell
Which side
You're advocating right now
Because you're just
Oh no no no
You turn that normal mode shit off
You turn that
No you turn
Fucking pitch
Expert
You pitch
You turn
By turning the plane sideways
And pressing down
God damn it
That's how you turn a plane
Pitch and yaw
Pitch yaw
Bank
Etc
Blah blah blah
Okay so
You need to make mind you
To dust adjustments
You hit those shoulder buttons
So I didn't know that
I just started normal mode
And normal difficulty go
And then it turned out
That the default is
Normal mode
Is the new flying mode
It is
And the old flying mode
Is the what
That is what it used to be
I think them calling
That normal mode
I don't know what they should call it
Is actually a massive disservice
To almost everybody who plays that game
Because
Flying a plane is weird
As a movement function
And that's like
Half of what makes the game enjoyable
Is that you have to do this stuff while flying
Because it's too simple
Otherwise
It's really simple
And guess what
Every other game that I've played
That's a dog fighting game
Was that simple
So Star Fox, Arrow Fighters Assault
If I remember correctly
It's been a long time since I've played it
But
Then there was
There was that Macross game
There was
The Xbox game, Crimson Skies
Superman 64
Technically
Yeah, now those are all
Like the dog fighting games
That I remember playing
Are those ones
And I definitely
Don't remember
Needing to do the
You know
Yeah, pitch and then turn
Like it was very much
Hold left and you go left
Hold right, you go right
So
Yeah
Turning that mode on
Oh yeah, even like
I played and I used to play
A lot of X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter
Okay
But that was the space
That was space
There's no floor to worry about
Yeah
But that was also like
Just pick the direction you want to go in
Now you're going that direction
So I didn't have to
There was no banking at all
The more that I'm thinking about it
It's like your orientation to the ground
Being not intuitive
Is part of the thing
X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter
And Wing Commander
Yeah
Same thing
No banking
Right
So
What happened here obviously
Was the moment that one on
I went
Whoa
And then I proceeded to
It's hard and weird
It was very hard and weird
And I spent the rest of that time
Having a really hard go
Yeah
So everyone saw me
Having a hard time getting used to that
I saw Reggie and Min
Telling you
Hey man, hold the button
Hold the button
To see the missile path
See the missile path
And right into the ocean
Yep
That's common
Yep
Did you have the one where
So there's two ways to 180
Sorry, there's three ways to 180, right?
You can go horizontal
And then do like a long turnaround
You can go
You can invert
And pull up
And then re-invert
So that you're going the other direction
Or you can invert
And go down
And then re-invert close to the ground
Okay
That one
Is really good for bombing runs
It's also really good
To see if you're able to tell
How far below you the ground is
Okay
Because often times
I would just fucking go
Straight nose first into the fucking floor
Yep
Can you
Can you go
90 degrees so that your nose is facing
Like space
Yeah, totally
And then, hold on
And then like
Break
And then like
Let anything behind you pass you
And then correct yourself
Yeah
Because I don't know what that move is called
But that's really stylish
What you can do is
You can go as fast as you can
To the sky
And then
When you hit a certain altitude
That you're familiar with
You can hit the brakes as hard as you can
And ideally you want to stall the plane
So it actually just falls
Post-stall maneuver
Yeah
It is really, really hard
It's very difficult
And like
I was getting 80 tips coming in at the same time
And I'm like this is not
No
This is not helpful
You don't need those
This is not helpful
I can't fly the plane
The tip is play more ace combat
Exactly
And it felt like
There was just like
No do it
Forget it now
Get it now in this shot
And I'm like
I'm not good
It's really funny
I'm sucking at this
Because in my mind
I look at ace combat as the arcade game
Of that shit
Because the simulators are another
Uniforms
Of course
And back in the day
Ace combat used to be the simulator
And the bullshit I'm talking about
Star Fox and whatnot
It sits perfectly in the middle of both
There's enough sims
Flying a plane is a weird activity
That's not natural
So it's weird
And as I was like
I just remember seeing like
Stop making excuses
I'm like I'm not making excuses
I'm garbage
It's not
I'm explaining why I'm trash
I'm not saying I'm not trash
Did you get to the
I think it's the fourth or fifth mission
Where you have to thread the needle through the
Oh
So there are
Dude I made it out of the tutorial mission
So if I would highly recommend you keep playing
It's great
That is not only like
Ace combat is great
That is one of the best ace combat games
It's awesome
But there are a couple missions
Where you have to thread the needle
Through canyons
And defense grids
Yeah
And lightning striking
Threading the needle when turning is an ordeal
Is hard as shit
But then
I mean when you pass through the
You know when it clicks
And suddenly you're maverick
No
Okay it will click
And you will be maverick
And then new planes
Will have minute differences
In acceleration or anti-stall
And you'll be like
Ah
And then when you get to the end of the game
And you unlock the
Fucking tie fighter basically
And you're able to do all sorts of crazy plane shit
That you didn't think you'd be able to do in the game
It's awesome
I made it out of the tutorial
And then the game crashed
It crashed
It crashed
You playing on PC?
Yeah
Fucking yeah
However
What
I then went back in and played some multiplayer
And
Players mean
That was just
It was not a mistake because I wanted to know
It's mean
And what I wanted to know
Is what I found out
There is no game
To be found for me there
At least not yet
There are some killers in there man
Like the entire match
Is just trying to dodge the missiles
By going crazy
For you and me it is
And I'm like
When am I even supposed to have a half second
To think about going on the offense
And then you look at the leaderboard
And the guy at number one
Has killed eight people
In the time that you were doing that
I'm just rolling around
You just try to break off like crazy
Yeah
In any direction you can
And I'm just breaking off
And then I'm breaking off
And then
And I'm just like
I legitimately
Don't know how
People are consistently
Maneuvering around me
Or behind me
So what's happening there
Is
You're eating that
Full screen mix up
With morrigan's
Shit coming at you
Seven different players at once
And you're just holding down back
And you're like
Can I attack? Nope
No you can't
Okay
Alright
I'm gonna hold down back
And I'm like
Nope took the hit
Up here
Okay I jumped there
And I'm back in the corner
She teleported
I absolutely love the way
The versus matches start
In that games versus mode
Now that I think of it
Or hits eight players
About ten kilometers away from each other
Flying in the same direction
And they're all pointed at the center
In that semi-circle
Flying in the same direction
And it's like
If you all just keep going straight
You will all just crash into each other
Yeah
Boy
Boy oh boy
Man oh man is that
A challenge
I'm so happy
That apparently that game did very well
Like very well
So happy
Because that's the only game
In town for this shit
Tom Clancy's Hawks didn't quite take over
I mentioned that during my stream
And people were like
What the fuck is that
What are you talking about
People don't even remember
That game exists
HAWX guys
Come on HAWX
Tom Clancy's Hawks
I had a cool drifting mechanic
But that's it
Yeah I don't uh
I don't
Like
I could immediately feel
How much of a worm on the ground
I was in this
Like
The stratosphere
Is the beginning
Kind of limit
You know like
I mean I've played and beaten
Four of the seven I think
You should go look at clips from that stream
Like into the ground I go
Over and over and over and over
And into the wall
And like
It's hard
Yeah
Yeah
And like you know
The one thing that you always do
In
Cause that's the thing too
Cause men was saying
Like he prefers like first person view
For like immersive purposes
Yeah a lot of people do
I hate it
I want to see my playing
I want to see
I want cool playing
I want to see the cool thing
In the video game that I'm playing
Always
Number one
But ultimately
Then it just comes down to like
Like
Tracing
Right
Tracing your cursor
Over your things
So use bullets for example
Bullets is tough
It's remarkably tough
It's insanely hard
It's so hard
They're like yeah
Don't forget your bullets
And I try
I'm like nah
How about I'm gonna forget those bullets
You have to aim for the lead
Holy fuck
Man
For a couple hits
Just shoot the missile
Shoot the missile
Shoot the missile
Like wow is that
Missile
Yeah
And in fact you know
And like
Super hard
I'm trying to think about
And I was trying to treat it like
Star Wars when you have your blasters
Yeah no
And it's not that
It is so not that
You know
And the other thing too is
So X-Wing games always had
My favorite button
And it was probably
Maybe it just made things easier
But it was
Smash speed with target
Right
There was
Cause you'd have your throttle
From one to nine
Yeah
And then you'd you know
But like
When you pick a target
And you're going after them
It's really important
To match speed with them
To then
Actually fight properly
And then
Drop your throttle back down
Or back up
Yeah
Uh
Yeah nah
I have had situations
Not in this game
Where I'm trying to catch up
To a plane
And I don't realize
Till too late
They're like a tangent
They're not actually going straight
According to my
Direction
Yeah
And so you go to
I'm gonna hit them with the missiles
And you just fucking fly
Right faster
Yeah
Exactly
So
Uh
Yeah I felt
I felt the fucking challenge there
Uh
That looks like
Um
That
That felt like
50 hours
To start feeling okay about it
Nah that's
Exaggerated
I'd say
I don't know a couple
Yeah
Like three or four
To start feeling okay about it
Yeah
Okay
Okay
The
That
Uh
That game eases you in
And that the first one is
You're
Crazy
Hold on
I'm not talking about
Like beating story mode
I mean
Playing multiplayer
Yeah
Okay
Oh wait
Is it multiplayer
Like
You're still talking about multiplayer
Well
Not just in general flying
I mean in general flying
I'm sure you can get through single
I don't know multiplayer
Yeah
I don't know that
No no no
I'm throwing out those numbers
To try and like
Born killers
Born in the cockpit
Yeah
Yeah
I would not even
I would not even put a number on that
It's too late
Yeah
Exactly
It's far too late
Yeah
No I'm familiar with this feeling
For sure
Um
But I
But I mean yeah
You can get through the story mode
Certainly
You know
Why not
Because though
The way the mission structure works
Is the first one is
You're the highest off the ground
You are in any mission
In the first one
And a couple missions in
There's no enemies
And it's literally
Just steer the plane through
Well the first mission
I had to take off
Yeah
So
Well what I mean
Is like the combat area
Yeah
There's no ground targets
So you are way up there
Um
Ground targets are hard
Because if you don't
Aim correctly
And early enough
And pull up
You die
You also have to
Make sure you go with
Air to ground missiles
Yeah
If you got them
Yeah
And bombing
Requires you to
Judge trajectories
Is like
Yeah
Also um
Bullets
Are limited
So
Well I think it depends
On the mode you're on
It's weird
Because they're like
Bullets are limited
Obviously
And so are missiles
But like a real
Plane
Has
Two
Yeah four
Yeah yeah yeah
Not 88
Yeah yeah yeah
Exactly
Or fucking 300
Or the video game needs
It would not be fun
The video game needs to be fun
The video game needs to be fun
So taking off is easy
Landing is hard
And midair refueling
Which is another
Like little bonus mission
In there
Is absurd
Must feel good
When you're crushing it though
Yeah
When you're crushing it
It's the best
And then you stop
Crushing it
And you
You try to
You try to
Fucking weave between
The skyscrapers
Yeah
And you're like
Ah boom
I mean one of the first
Kills I got
I did the thing
Where you like
That
And to the point
Where I was like
Wait is there even collision
On that
And then the next time
There certainly was
There certainly was
100% collision
If you're lined up
Dead on
It's an easy way
To kill yourself
So
Chuck Yeager's
Air combat
This is not
No
Hey there
I'm Chuck Yeager
How's the music
Oh
It was nice
In the little bit
I heard
But
You did the
First mission
Tutorial
Uh
Didn't hear any
Of the anthems
Because
You know
I know that ace combat
Has anthems
But I didn't get to any of them
Hey
What color's the sky?
I don't know
Oh you don't remember
I didn't get there
You did
It's the opening cutscene
I don't remember
I just saw
I saw
I saw a pilot girl
Yeah
Pilot girl's
Mechanic girl
Oh excuse me
But
She was in a cockpit
Not for the rest of the game
Ah
Yeah
I don't have the cutscene
Showed her getting in the cockpit
Yeah
And then it showed her getting
Her ass shot down
Wow
Okay
It's a deep dark blue
Alright
Come on
It's too sincere
Yeah
And we were
And we were fucking
Like talking over it
As LPs do
So I kind of
Must have missed that
Sorry
Voice acting is
A weird mix of
We were trying to figure out
Whether
Erujia
Was the America
Or whether
They're both America
They're neither America
The other one
The Belkens are dicks
That's all you need to know
Belka
Assholes
And Oceania
And the Space Elevator
Alright dude
Ace Combat
And Front Mission
And those games
That have like
Pseudo
Real World
Countries
Analogs
But give them fucked up
Names that I can't remember
I mean
One of them had the stars
And the patriotic symbol
But looked
Like
I straight up
Could not remember
The name of the country
I was fighting
All the way to the final mission
One of them had a
White House logo
That wasn't the White House
It wasn't the White House
And the other one had
Like big stars
But they were red stars
Which one has the robot planes
The bad one
The one
With the one
With the shipping containers
That was crazy
Man
Like the idea of like
A bunch of dudes
Like fucking
Ziggy down at the docks
Moving some shipping containers around
Yeah these are planes
And then they open up
And fucking fly out
Like wow
That's nutty
Anyway
Ace Combat
It's a good game
Yup
Played a bit of that
Started a Plague Tale
Got a good
Got through the
Like
Let's say
Opening sequence
And
Why are you looking at that?
I'm just trying to figure out
What you mean by opening sequence
Okay
I'm just like
Because there are
Like three or four levels
That could be
Yeah yeah yeah
So
I played it for an hour
And I'm like
I'm better
I'm not gonna fucking stop
Until I see the rats
I need to know
The rats
And then we got to them
And then we got through
The challenge of that
Like
First
Like in the church
Yeah
Okay
And then you make it out
That
The rats
That's what I did
There's some rats
So that thing takes its time
Like setting up what's going on
Also we played in French
Which was really fun
Was it good?
It was very good
I'm glad
It was very good
It was very
Paris
I
When I was playing in English
I was incredibly impressed
At
The cast
Mostly being
Clearly French actor speaking English
Oh yeah
Were they like accented?
Yes
They were heavily accented
Okay
Well
I really enjoyed hearing it
In
The actual French
That
You'd expect
And they're speaking
They're using older words too
That's nice
So yeah
It was really on point
And of course
Having two francophones with me
Yeah
Like
They're like
Yeah
This is doing wonders for the mood
So
It really helps
Because I'm also coming off
Of watching and enjoying Chernobyl
Which I'll say in brief
Is a very good show
Really, really good
I'll get to it later
But the weirdest thing about it
Is
The fucking British accents
It's
British accents
Have become shorthand
For English for
And it's
Very bizarre
And you're watching this show
Which again
I highly recommend it
Check it out
It's good
I now know
Actually
How a nuclear reactor works
Badly
Badly
Very, very, very, very, badly
But
I remember trying
To
Wiki-dive that
Some time ago
And then
I tried again
Once the show started
And then
There's a point in the show
Where
Like
It is required
That we explain to you
How this reactor works
Because you need to know
Why it blew up
And the explanation
Was very, very good
And I'm like
I for the first time
Feel like I understand it
The core
I might not
I probably don't actually
Understand it
However
I understand
The loosest
Rawest
For dummy's version
Which is better than
The four dummies
For all I used to have
The nuclear reactor
Ends up being
Where the water
Make the steam
It's a steam engine
It's a fucking steam engine
But don't let it get
Not too hot
But you use
Rods that are radioactive
To make the water hot
Instead of
Not too hot
Yeah
Because if it's too hot
It actually just
Sells sustains
And melts right through
Your fucking floor
So
Obviously
The idea of it being
Like
Unlike any other fuel source
Where you have to
Like start at zero
And get up to five
Yeah
This starts at ten
And you have to drop it
Down to five
And keep it there
And if you don't keep it there
Then you get Chernobyl
Yeah
So
Really good
Really good
British accents weird
Weird
Enemy at the gates
Was the same fucking thing
And all I can think of
Is they picked a bunch of actors
And they're like
Well none of them
Can do Russian accents
Convincingly
I think it's more
Like people hate subtitles
We don't want to
They don't want to read
And I hate that
I hate that also
Because
God damn it
Just fucking read
Give them
Russian accents though
Why don't they have
Actual Russians
Just
But like Chernobyl is
I don't want
English speakers with
Russian accents
I want Russian people
Speaking in Russian
It is
It is
It is a Soviet story
It's
You know
Like
Fucking just
Tekken the situation
The language you hear
Is the language they speak
And I can read
A fucking subtitle
Like
I don't know man
Readings for dorks
I just
Maybe we're just conditioned
After watching
So much anime
We've watched a lot of anime
Well
A lot of people haven't watched
Any anime
I know
But like the feeling of
Like I hate
Reading while I'm watching
The thing
Is like
It's such a
It reminds me of
So you'd rather it sound
Weird and shitty
It reminds me of
Because you don't want to read
In glorious bastards
And how that was like
An ongoing massive complaint
For its entire theater
Ukrainian
Ukrainian
Yeah
It's a
Pripyat
Yes
But
So the weirdest thing
Is that a lot of Ukrainians
Actually speak Russian
Because back in the day
It used to be Russia
And now it's Russia
Errr
Right
It's a
It's a whole thing
But
What the fuck was I talking about
That's gone
Anime?
No
Anime subtitles
Weird
In glorious bastards
In glorious bastards
That movie is aggressive
About not giving me a fuck
About the fact that you don't speak
The five languages
Happening in that movie
And our villain speaks
All of these
Every single fucking
Language in the movie
He speaks
Effortlessly
Because Kristoff Wals
Is amazing
And like
I want to say like
Half or more of the movies
Subtitles
And that's fine
Yeah
But
But
You didn't tell me
There was going to be words
Yeah
I'd rather
The movie
Sound worse
Because
I don't want to read
There you go
Super stuff
Super late
That sucks
Anyway
So
But beyond that
Turnable is
A fun watch
Is it a fun watch?
I spoke to Clems
About this exact
Topic on the podcast
That is on
Coffee with Clems
Check it out this week
And the exact
Same phrase
Happened
Where he said
It's a fun watch
And I went
Is it a fun watch
It is
It is a proper
It is a proper
Because I know you know a lot
About it already
Because
You used to talk about
Turnable a lot
It's fascinating
Ten years ago
It's the most fascinating things
That ever happened
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But you were that guy
That would just
Absolutely
Just be like
Hey, what's going on?
We're getting McDonald's?
All right, yo
So Turnable
Yeah
Out of nowhere
Like
Yeah, Pat
Yeah
And you're like
No, no, no
But
Dude, I was reading all about
Last night
But
It's super cool
I mean, there's this
There's shots of stuff
Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I mean, they do actually show
There actually is a moment
Where they show something
But
Anyway, it is
It is
An interesting watch
Also, you're watching people
Like you want to know
A lot of it is
You want to know
Like how accurate this is
Versus how much
They're taking liberties
You know
As good as you would expect
And then at the end
They tell you exactly
They took liberties
Oh, that's really nice
And what the accuracies were
That's really good
But
There's definitely parts
Where you're like
That is a cartoonishly evil asshole
This is the exact same
Complaint Clumps had
And
Is it
Could it even be possible
That
That is where you're going to
Put the finger
They rolled about a dozen
Bureaucratic do-nothings
Into a couple people
I mean, they do that
In a clear way
That they explain at the end
For the scientists
But
For this, yeah
For this
You really just created
A son of a bitch
To take that flack, you know
And it's wild how
There's almost a moustache twirl
In how much it's like
Fuck you
And fuck the protocol, you know
But
Beyond that, though
It does a really interesting
And good job at like
Just kind of getting across
Like how fucking terrifying
This entire thing is
And
How little control we have over it
It's the equivalent of
The world's biggest grease fire
And you tell somebody to go
Throw water on it
But
Just go throw water on it
But you put that
In the one place
In the, not the one place
But in the country
That has
The most pride
And the most to lose
Out of admitting that they fucked up
Because
Straight up, we would rather
Everyone eat it
Than tell you what's going on
Because we lose face
And you're like, but everyone's going to be dead
It's like, yeah, but
But no, not pride, though
I don't know how much they go
In the international scene at the time
There was no
Saving face on it
Because Europe was like
What the fuck is this radioactive
Vast cloud?
What the fuck is that?
That's where Linda was like
Anybody know what's going on?
Let's make some calls
And they called everyone
And everyone's like
We don't know what's going on
Some weird fucking energy gas
In the air, what the fuck is that?
And then Chernobyl didn't answer the phone
And they're like, huh
Oh, yeah
And that's how that works
And the Ruskies did it again
You know, like it's like
Fuck off, that's the worst part
It's like, we know that like
There's a lot of like
Decrease and that
Especially in that time
And that play at USSR and all that
It's a cold war
But it's like
That is the peak of just like
This is how bad is that
No
No
More importantly, our pride, though
And that becomes a lot of the
That's like, bro, we can smell it
We can smell it from here
Yeah
So it's interesting
Because it's like part of the disaster
And the way it unfolded is like
Cultural
And it talks about that a little bit as well
So anyway, very cool
As a result of the Chernobyl TV series
They're going to start doing tours to Chernobyl
Which start?
Well, they're going to kick them up
There's already tons of illegal tours going in
And because they're like
No, I think I'm talking about official things
I was saying
Oh, because unofficially
There's tons of people that break in
And they basically have their meters
That are like, yeah, it's all faded away
You're fine, you're safe
You're going to
Let's go check out this pile of coats
You're going to see a YouTuber
Or an Instagram person
Just walk into a pocket
I should clarify
Because the way radiation works
It works like dust
And so there are pockets
In what seem to be safe buildings
That have like
Instantaneously lethal amounts of rads
All you got to do is walk into that corner
That faces a certain direction
And poof
We already have the Instagram photos
Of models in their stylish
Radiation suits
Taking their beauty shots
That's not good
Just get closer to that ferris wheel
Don't you don't
Just get closer
Get on the ferris wheel
That ferris wheel is iconic
But it's also like
Don't go anywhere near it
It is the most deadly item in that area
Because metal soaks it up real good
Yeah, yeah, we're getting
Get out of here, stalker
Now you are primed
For everything ever made by 4A Games
Yeah, yeah
I did an evaluation on that
There's a fucking aesthetic
To Russian nuclear architecture
Yeah
I mean, hey though
That new sarcophagus looks pretty sick
It looks cool
The dome
The dome
Dome looks good
All faith in the dome
Big, big faith
Yeah
This is gonna be a problem
Fucking forever
For a couple hundred years
Forever
For a couple hundred years
Life, the world ends when I die
Eventually it'll be low enough
That you can start getting in
And addressing the bigger problems
But for now, that's just a no go
That's a don't do it
It's a big radioactive fucking
Hunk of metal down there
That's gonna be
Like it's like nuclear
It's more nuclear than the surface
Of the fucking sun down there
Yeah
The other thing too
And I know you knew about this
But it's like
There's a part of it
Where you're watching the story
Of how this all went down
And you're kind of like
You're seeing people that are like
Well, time to go in
To the water
And turn the valves
And get that shit emptied
Because if we don't
That's the big death
For the entire continent
Yeah
Let's go
And you're watching people do shit like that
Or like miners doing their fucking
Due diligence
Digging underneath the reactor
And shit
And you're like
Why don't we know the names
Of these people
Like why is there
Why do I
You know, yeah
I know why
And we find out, of course
But it's like
That's the type of shit where you're like
Oh, are we looking at
Actual world saving heroes
Right now
Yeah
Like
Oh, that's what that looks like
It's not a movie
It's not Bruce Willis on an asteroid
This guy going to work
Knowing he's super gonna die
It's not, yeah
It's not Bruce Willis in Armageddon
You know
It's that dude
So you know
Going into the death water
I don't know if they
To save the world
If they went over it
But there's a batch of people
That I have
Slightly more sympathy for
Than the miners and the water guys
Because those guys
They knew
Even if they didn't know
They knew
Right
The people that were lied to
No, it's the people that thought
They were gonna be saved
There's a specific batch of people
Who all died horribly
From radiation poisoning
It's the firefighters
Yeah
Who used helicopters
The first responders
No
It's the guys who were flying
Those planes, the dump water
On to the reactor
And the sandbags
Right?
Yeah
That didn't realize
That they weren't high enough
Don't fly over the core
They were so high over the thing
And it wasn't high enough
Like fuck, man
That sucks
Can't do it
Yeah
Yeah
So
Oh, it sucks
Also radiation poisoning
Bad way to go
Oh, you
Yeah, watch it
I don't need to
Yeah, I mean, but you know
It would still be
Like education
I saw Stargate SG-1
On Daniel
Touched that orb
And got the radiation poisoning
It's an educational one
Many ascended
So it was a whole thing
And then you gotta follow
Like some of these side stories
Where it's just like
Hey, what's your unit up to, soldier?
Oh, we're the guys that go
And shoot all the dogs
Because they gotta go
Because they're poison
And you're like
Like the wild
Like, no, wild
But also mostly the domesticated ones
That are hungry
That are gonna come up to you
Because they want some food
And everyone's been gone
For a long time
Yeah, that's your job
Go do it
Cool?
Yeah, you know
Because at the time
Animals were turning into bombs
Yeah
Like
The real barkbusters
The real pup snuffers
Coming out to save the world
Do what you gotta do
For king and country
Anyway, man
Yeah, Chernobyl was great
That was a side
Sounds depressing
Yeah
That was actually a side note
Off of
Plague Tale
Which was really good
I also enjoyed what was going on with that
There's a clear
There's two things though
One, there's that
There's like the intro
Where everything's going down
And you're like, oh my god
Old France, horrible
Yeah
Right, shit's crazy
But
Two things
One, there's a moment
Where your main character
Changes clothes
And puts on the video game clothes
What's on the main character outfit?
It's got the leather armor
Thing on the shoulder
And you're like, no one looked this cool back then
I don't care
No one did
No, shut up
You know, even like
Even if you're nobility
No, you shut up
Get out of here with that
You look too cool
And then the second thing
Or third thing actually
God, I went from
Like being like so far
This little stupid boy
So far so good
He's alright
Yeah
He's just being a little boy
But it's fine
Yeah
And then in one cutscene
You mean the cutscene where
She puts the clothes on
And that's the cutscene right after
In one moment
So
I'm like, I want him gone
I feel
Just feed him to the rest
I feel like they did a really good job
With the kid overall
Because
That kid is like 5
That kid is really young
Like when it's 10 year olds
They have more of a brain
That kid's like
Just out of being a toddler
But he doesn't look
That size
He looks like the size of someone
Maybe 8
Nah, he's like 5
You're confused
Because the girl you're playing as
Is short and young
I read him as like 8 or 9
And I read the girl as like 13
No
The girl's like 15
And the kid's like 5
Okay
Like he is a baby child
Mmm
Okay
Also
That's one of the only times
That ever happens
And it is about
Things that your character
Should have done
Yeah
Well
Anyway
But that particular moment
Is like the one time
Where you're like
Come on
Really
And the one thing
That I was really happy about
Was based on the way
They set up the threat
In Plague Tale
Like
I'm like
I don't want
A bunch of normal rats
To just come get me
I want
The fucking Zerg
Right
And then
The way they
Introduce
The fucking rats
I mean
It's like dude
It's the first hour of the game
Yeah
But
The church candles
Go out
And then
You cut to dark
And you hear the noise
And then they swarm in
Like the actual
Fucking Zerg
Yeah
And you go
Fuck yes
The rat
Physics
And look
In that game
Is like
Amazing
I want
Rat
Demons
Nonsense
Well
And that's what you get
As a question
To the rat
Warren
That you have to
Crawl through
During that
One little segment
Where the walls
Have been turned
Into the alien
High
Exactly
Exactly
I'm going to be
Very blunt with you
Wally
That game
Takes some historical
Liberties
Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm
Some significant
Significant
Historical Liberties
I would assume
It fucking
Goes
Places
Okay
Exactly what I wanted
Out of that
Like I was like
So
Everything was so
Realistic up to that point
That I was like
Yeah
It's like grimy realist
It's like dirty
And it's like
Aw man
And I'm like
Swerve it
Swerve it
And they fucking swerve it
And the rat's coming
I'm like
Yeah
These are
Powered demon rats
They've got red eyes
Don't they?
They don't
Okay
That's what I remember
In my head
But they don't
But like
You get to
And in the sliver
Of a shadow
That is the table
And the light source
If you take
One step
Into that
They pull you in
Like
It is
It's not even a full
Shadow cast
It is literally
Just the darkness
Of the table
Oh yeah
You know
Is enough for you
To be
In forever
It is
It's pitch black
It's the Riddick
It's the Riddick world
Yeah
But rats
Yeah
I had
Yeah
And it's because
Rats can
The rats can eat like
Something like half of their body weight a day
And if there are enough rats
Yeah
They can totally do to you
What they did to that guy
I mean
They don't
But
They don't
If they were all
Like
Juiced up to ten
They don't act with a singular mind
No
With purpose
Yeah
They don't move with purpose
And hunt the flesh
You know
Usually they kind of
Get at the fuck out of the way
Yeah
You know
But yeah
Here we are
Right
And like literally
Like you're fucking
Just using fire
To be like
Ha
Back you foul beast
Ha
You guys are stupid
You don't like fire
And it's like
They're just a texture
It's a moving texture
Made out of a bunch of models
It's very impressive
The tech actually
We read about it
While we were going
Like the models
Further into the draw distance
Are not even
Not even animated
Yeah
But it still
Creates the illusion
It sure does
Because
Like
I don't know if you can believe this
But the farther you get into the game
The more rats you see
That's
And it like
There's a couple levels
In which you are like
There is an astonishing amount of rats
On the screen right now
Yeah
Yeah
So
You can go watch that
New York documentary
About rats
Yeah
Stealing pizzas
Or
You can fucking
Play Plague Tale
You should
Finish that
The game's
Excellent
Yeah
Top to bottom
Oh yeah
I got that feeling
Also it's
Gorgeous
Like it's
Fucking beautiful
Like the lighting
And the character
Like it's
Awesome looking
So yeah
So take a look
At
Me
And trying out
All of the above
You can
Check out
Wally vs
Those videos
And
Yeah
That was
That was
Horizon Chase Turbo
Plague Tale
Ace Combat 7
And
Then of course
Bayonetta continues
And
Boy the rust
Is in effect
Bad huh
The rust is really bad
Also Bayo 1 has weird things
That I don't remember
It does
It does
And I ate it really hard
In some embarrassing places
And some stuff was like
Oh that was dumb
I forgot about that
That happened a couple times
There's a couple times
Where I remember
Every time I replay the game
I die instantly
Yeah
There's some instant kill
At QTEs
Where you just
You fail the QTE
And you die
And then there's some enemies
Where it's like
You can't attack them
Right now
You just have to sit and wait
And I go
Ah fuck
Yeah
So Bayo 1
Did have some things
They had to work out
And too
That I forgot about
But I'm going to practice
Up and get better
Because I remember
To be honest
All the character action games
We were afraid to play
For this exact reason
It took like
They all
They all started bad
Towards the end
But there was a warm up
Period
And boy am I feeling that
Now for sure
You know
So that continues
On Willy vs. This as well
And the last thing I want to say
Is
This weekend
I'm going to be in Hamilton
At Com Bravo
Uh
Where
Uh
I will
Scenic Hamilton
Yes
Uh
Where I will be
You know
Doing the usual
Hangouts and stuff
So come on down
If you want to
Hang
And
You know
I'm going to be
Doing it
Places of games
Do the thing
But
I'm also going to be
Debuting
Uh
An idea that
I
I'm really excited about
Because I want to do more
With it
But this is going to be
In its
In its
Infancy
In its first form
Jojo Jeopardy
Okay
Jojo pretty
Jojo pretty
Whatever you want to
We're doing it
Uh
I am hosting
That as
A
Main event
Trivia game
You say
I could win prizes
You
Tons of prizes
Wow
I mean
There's some of them off camera
Right here
Oh I can
Literally see
There's a box full of Jojo
Right here
I see it
Yep
And
Uh
How convenient
For this
For this bit
That you could actually
Just point
And go look
There's some here
But I can't say it
So come on down
Um
And
You know
I had a really
Really tough decision
To make
Do you limit to the show
Or do you do
The manga
Yeah
And
I went back and forth
I talked to some people
About it
I took
A bunch of opinions
I wasn't sure
Cause
The best
Questions would come
From shit
That is not
Out yet
678
Yeah
The best
Funnest questions
Would come from that
But I
Didn't want to be
To have a situation
Where people
Would get spoiled
Cause they would get spoiled
And I didn't want to have a situation
Where
You know
Like yeah
I just didn't want to deal with that
Which Joestar keeps trying to suck
On your mom's tits
So
That one
Oh
I came up with a system
Where I was like
You know
What if I
Have silent questions
That I don't read out loud
And you can look away
Yeah
So eventually
I just settled on
One to five
You know
Like anime only
Let's keep it safe for everybody
And
Let's just make it
So that people feel
Like they want to come
Cause I don't want anyone
To look at it
And go like
I don't want to risk it
You know
And I mean
It's interesting
Cause like
On the one hand
Like when I was
Discussing with friends
I was like
On the one hand
I could go like
And say
It's almost like
You're playing
Imagine if you had
A Dragon Ball trivia
Yeah
And you had to stick to
Up to Cell Saga
Up to Cell Saga
You couldn't go past it
You know
I'd be like
Ah
But
But then
Like
Min
You know pointed out
He's like
Okay but would you say
The same for Attack on Titan
And I went
Motherfucker you got me
Yeah
You got me
That's true
That's true
So
We're gonna stick with
One to five
And that's gonna be going down
Saturday
At
Con Bravo
So come on down
I'm gonna be
I have a little outfit
I'm putting together
As the Alex Trebek of JoJo
Oh yeah
And I think
My questions are pretty fun
So
Yeah
Everyone look forward
To that
Origashimasu
Let's take a quick word
From our sponsor
Let's do
This week
The podcast is
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I'm gonna be going to
A convention
Hamilton this weekend
I'm gonna be going to
Con Bravo
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I use them
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It's got the charge battery
Man
I bought one
That said
Not enough from Away
I bought from
Some generic piece of shit
That said
It was carry on
That said
It would fit in the bin
Boy
It didn't fit in the bin
And I was embarrassed
That's terrible
It sucked
I've never been
I even
They even have
Something called
The bigger carry on
Where you're like
Oh I don't know
Guys that's pushing it
Is that really
Gonna fit in
And it fit
Every single time
Like that moment
Of embarrassment
It fits
Many times now
Um
Yeah
Straight up
Just to the point with it
Best goddamn suitcase
I've ever owned
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Limited lifetime warranty
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Built in compression pad
Let's you pack more in
It literally
Pushes the things down
I don't know how that works
It's got straps on the inside
Okay, that's how that works
Yeah
You put all your stupid clothes inside
And then you put the limiter
And then it compresses it
It's great
Four 360 degree spinner wheels
TSA-approved combination locks
Optional, ejectable battery
Literally
Using it
Everywhere all the time
It's got it right there
It's right here
Because I use it all day
It's a chargeable battery
For your phone
You know
And for any other USB devices
Like
It's great
And it's got the laundry bag inside
So that when you have
Your clothes on the go
You put it inside the zip
That's actually really useful
Because I have had
The dumb mistake
Of wearing old clothes
That I shouldn't have worn
It is
Like I'm dead serious
It's a god damn
Amazing suitcase
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And
What can I say
Like
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Is good
I'm looking at them right now
Ooh
You can make a set
Yeah
Thanks away
Um
So yes
All that and more
On woolly versus
On the twitch
And yay
And on the youtube
And on the youtube as well
Um the
Yeah also the um
The re stuff is
The re2 stuff is
Into the
The rotation as well
So that's going down
But uh
Thumbs up
Thumbs down
Yeah so fresh so good
Good game
How
How's your stuff
I've played
The most amount of new games
This week I've played
In forever
Gonna skim
Uh one new game
That I did
One game that's not new
Is I played the new
Hades update
Guess what Hades is
Fucking awesome
That game's great
The speed update
High speed update
High speed update
I didn't play the beefy update
Which introduced the minotaur
What does the speed up
High speed update
It adds uh
Hermes as a boon
And a million rebalances
And the like
So the
Better dash
Uh the
Just got changed
Two updates ago
Uh short note
It got changed after the death update
It's
It all kind of runs together
But they added Hermes as a boon
They re-did a lot of the boon stuff
And uh the
Beefy update
Which I didn't play
Which was the last one
Uh added a third floor
As well as uh
A new boss
And a bunch of stuff
But it's like there's
It's too much to remember
Okay
You know like those patch lists
Lots of small things
Nothing huge
The patch notes are like
Listen here's
We changed how these
35 abilities work
Okay
But the biggest thing is new Hermes
Hermes and the third floor
From the beefy update
Game's great
Game's super good
Yeah
Hermes
Hades is fucking sick
It's great
Super giant makes the good
I played a game
That you would probably be more into
Called Hardcore Mecca
Yeah
That was good
It's good
Yeah
I'm a little disappointed
That
I did some reading up on it
After I played it
That you only get to play as the one
The one mech in the story
The story mode
And because then I went into verses
And there were like five mechs in there
And they're all really, really awesome
Yeah
And I'm like
But for what it is
It's definitely rad
It's super cool
It's just a metal slug
2D animated fucking
Side scrolling thing
And
With robot
With robot
And big, big
SRW
Influences
Yeah, very good
All over the place
Yeah
That's good
Right on
I played
You touched multiplayer
To what you said, right?
I did not play multiplayer
I went into practice
To see what they could do
And they could do cool things
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I like how
Extremely different they are
From each other
They're wild
To the point where
One of them doesn't even walk
Yeah
You know, like it's so
Like it's like
Your character
How do I put this?
You know when you want to
Take Ryu
And then pull a little bit
And stretch and push
A little bit
To get everything else
And make him a charged version
Yeah
This is the most extreme
I've seen
In terms of gameplay styles
With that initial multiplayer roster
Yeah
Absolutely
It's the differences between characters
More or less something like
Fucking Smash
Or something like that
Then a fighting game
The one that got me
Was the one that has to
Plant his feet
And fire a laser cannon
Exactly
That
Instantly kills anything
Yeah
And it's like
But that's all he's got
It's literally all he's got
Or the super robot
I played EDF 5
Which is brand new
On the PC
Is that why everyone's yelling
EDF non-stop
Dude
This is
So
So that's not
So that's not new
It's just new on PC
It's just new on PC
Because I was actually
Like looking at releases
And I was like
Oh EDF's coming out
It came out on the
On the PS4
A little while ago
And
Yeah
And that's it
And I was like
Oh yeah, Min
Min's like
That's an old game
And I was like
Oh so wait
What's the one that I played at Pax
That's not out yet
Six
I don't know
Because there's an EDF
That was being
That was being advertised
At Pax
That might be
The new one
Because it came out
Apparently like two years ago
And I just completely missed it
Just a hundred percent
Completely missed it
Yeah
It's
It's so good
It's so bad
It's so bad
Iron rain
Iron rain, that's it
It's
So
One
The voice acting
Is worse than it's ever been
And two
There is the most voice acting
It's ever had
It is constant
Like there is constant dialogue
And it is all
Just the worst
Good shit
It's so good
Good shit
The
All the mechanical stuff
And all the stuff where you actually shoot the bugs
Is actually a massive improvement
Over four and four point one
It's really impressive
It feels a lot better to play
But fuck that
Aliens
Are here
Right
And they're like
Oh my god
We can see the aliens
They've been here since the first date
No no
But the actual
The actual aliens
That are running the show
Not the bugs
Not the bugs
Not the robots
The aliens
They're here
And oh my god
Woolly
They have two arms
And two legs
And mouths
And they talk
And they look identical to humans
And this is
A phrase
That is uttered
Often
Oh my god
They're just like humans
They speak a language
They're exactly like humans
And what they are
Is 30 foot tall
Frogmen
Now how much frog
And how much men
90% frog
Okay hold on
They are giant
30 foot tall
Slippy toads
Okay but if you say
Frog
If you say 90% frog
That implies that they have
Legs that are like
Bent backwards
And
They have the little
Ribbit pad feet
Are they standing upright?
Yes
They are not 90% frog
Okay fine
75% frog
But they're
They're big
Giant frogmen
As I am killing them
And they're putting their
Arms back on
Do they have necks?
No
Their heads are sticking
Upwards in a frog way
No they're just kind of
Out of their torso
Are they like hunchbacked
So that they can
Look forward at you
And let me look at
A god damn picture
Well they look identical
To humans
But when you say
80% frog
Or 75% frog
80% frog man
That's probably going to do it
Is there a name for this race?
I don't know
Yeah just type in
80% frog man
Here's your fucking
Frog person
Look here
I'm pulling it up
I'm looking on my own
They look
80% frog man
Okay that's a frog
That's a frog
Yeah
Yeah okay
That's a frog
And it's just upright
Yeah
And it's identical
To humans
Okay got it
Okay
Just
I swear to god
Like 40 lines of dialogue
In a row
For an hour
Exactly like us
Exactly like humans
Okay
Because you have to remember
Woolly
This is really important
The EDF universe
Is a universe in which ants
Tarantulas
Spiders
Bees
And frogs
Don't exist
Okay
Normal
Because they don't use those words
Do the frogs
Kero-ro
Kero-kero
No they do not
No
Okay
That game is nuts
That game is fucking crazy
So the master race
Behind everything
That's right
Were frogs
Yeah
Also I did not know this
Somebody informed me of this
When I was streaming it
That the EDF series
Has a two game reboot cycle
In which
There's a game that comes out
Like EDF 2017
That's like
The ravagers are attacking their ono
And then there's a sequel to that
In which the ravagers are back
And then the third game
Is back to
All there's aliens
What's happening
And this is in the ono
There's aliens
So then where does the
Mechagodzilla come in
That's an alien
That they made
That they made
It's a dinosaur
That put robots
Shut up
Okay
Godzilla's aren't real
Okay
It's a good game
It's a great game
I had so much fun playing it
I also played
Sinking City
What is that?
That is an open world
Cthulhu based mystery game
It is made
Okay
This will help you
How do you make an open world mystery game?
So
It's made by the developers
Of the Sherlock Holmes titles
Do you know those weird
The bad ones?
Yeah the bad ones
The Eurojank ones
Oh I'm excited
Like the Sherlock Holmes
And the Devil's Daughter
Yeah
But it's Cthulhu
And
With the Slender Man mechanics
On
No
On
Watson
Yes there's a photo
There's a poster in that game
That says Sherlock Holmes
And the mystery of the creepy Watson
There you go
They get it
And
So it's open world
And it's a big
The city's flooded
You go
And there are basically
Like
You find a house
And then you will
Go and investigate it
The game is fascinating
In every way
Every single part of the game
Is different
And weird
And Euro
And jank
And it's
Fucking awesome
Man
So
The people that made
The shitty Sherlock Holmes games
That's right
And this is still kind of shitty
But it's also awesome
So
Step one
Okay
Open world game
In which you have to go solve
Cthulhu based mysteries
And investigate stuff
You'll talk to a guy
And it'll enter in your journal
Oh this guy got sick in his house
He can go check his house
And investigate it
Okay
Here's the process
Step one
Go to your journal
What's the address
Look at the map
Put the goddamn waypoint
Down on the map yourself
By correlating the street signs
It's that big of a city?
Yeah
Like it's at the corner
Of fucking
Coral and crab
Or what is street
You gotta go find the fucking street names
And fucking plug in a map icon
Okay
So you can find it
Sure
Go find it
Then you're at the right intersection
Now look around
And see which fucking house it is
There's only
You know
Okay
Look around
Go in
Okay
There might be a shitty monster
Shoot that
Gameplay is terrible
The combat is the worst thing ever
I'm probably gonna turn it down
To baby shit mode
Because the combat is so fucking bad
There's a crafting mechanic
And leveling
Who gives a shit
Right
Okay
You're gonna walk around
You're gonna pick up notes
About people hearing the other world
You're gonna look at goo
On the floor
Okay
How'd this happen
Alright
So what you're gonna do
To look for clues
Then you're going to
Retrograde amnesia
Soul suspects
View the crime
In an alternate reality
And then you have to
Pick the events
In the order that they occurred
As you see like
Different disparate events
Okay
You're gonna find out what happened
Now you have the clues
Now you're gonna take the clues
And all the clues
That you find in this scene
Will go into your character's
Mind Palace menu
I like Ajna
What?
Indivisible
Mind Palace
That's an Ajna
That's what she does
So in the Mind Palace
You have like 10 clues
And they are
So-and-so is violent
So-and-so spread hysteria around them
And you mix clues together
To get deductions
And then you use the deductions
To make solutions
And sometimes
All your deductions
Can lead to different solutions
Such as this guy was
Out of his mind with Cthulhu rage
Or he totally used Cthulhu rage
To cover up a murder that he did for real
This sounds normal
What do you mean normal?
Sorry
Like
Walk around, get the clues
That's a thing I've seen before
It's a good soul suspect
Okay
It's a good soul suspect
With a big open work
Yeah, piece to piece
What happened is also
A very soul suspect thing
And then recreate the thing
Remember me
Did that pretty good
This isn't normal
This is the
But I guess
So in the Mind Palace
Break that part down a little bit
It's a series of statements
That you combine together
Like the sentences
Yeah, sentences
Like so-and-so was violent
So-and-so got shot here
Okay
So on top of that
It's that kind of gameplay
But it is in
The most eldritch location ever
It's in Oakmont
Which is a city that got half flooded
Off the coast of Massachusetts
Because of course it did
Yeah
And it was so badly flooded
That half the streets are flooded
But the water rose so high
That there is now coral
All over tons of the buildings
There are dead octopuses
Everywhere in the middle of the fucking street
There's a weird cult happening
But fuck that
Fuck that shit who cares
It's about the people who live there
Because this game takes place
As a direct sequel
Shadow over Innsmouth
In which the Innsmuthers
Have now immigrated to this city
And are straight up fish people
They're just the fish people
Just walking around
And people in the town hate them
They hate the fish people
They hate the gross-ooh
Fish
But
The first guy you talk to
Is an evil looking doctor
Dressed head to toe in yellow
And he's like
Oh, me and my pals have late night rendezvous
It was about philosophy
It's like, okay
And you look in the-
When you go look at your costume
And that costume you can unlock
It's called the fucking King's Robes
And you're like
Are you fucking serious with it?
But then fuck that
The first NPC you walk up to
And talk to
Is a man named Throgmorton
And you look at him
And he's a dashing man
In a white suit
And it's a fucking eighth man
Like Phelan
He's a fucking-
For real ass Sasquatch
And your character has a dialogue option
That goes basically
What the fuck is up with this?
Okay
And he goes
My family married into
An exclusive bloodline
And they just-
Oh, we are all are blessed
With these amazing divine features
And they-
The Aten people
Hate the fish people
And they're like
It's-
It's-
What if you-
What if Yarnham was just
Filled with people
Having a regular day
In addition to
All the shit?
Sounds like you took Cthulhu
And you mixed it with Danganronpa
Because the gameplay you're describing
Is Danganronpa
Ah, is it?
Okay, sounds like it
It's awesome
It's super-
Like I'm really impressed
They got the recreating
Of the crime scene fun stuff
Yeah
That's a fucking-
But the crime is-
The best part of Danganronpa
The crime is madness
Yeah
Okay
Okay
It's really really cool
Apparently the console versions
Are super fucked up
And that's why I got really bad reviews
Like it's loading screens
When you go talk to people
Kinda fucked up
Okay
But that game's great
The other game
That-
The last game that I played
Was called the Outer Wilds
Not the Outer Worlds
The Outer Wilds
I'm seeing-
I'm seeing
Meme photos of your face
As you turn away from Devil May Cry 5
And RE2
And towards the Outer Wilds
It's probably the best game
That's gonna come out this year
Is that actual-
That's-
Okay
Well-
So like I said
We talked about this about two weeks ago
And I think I-
I would mention it as like
It was-
It came out
Had no fanfare
No one knew what it was
And then it hit Xbox Game Pass
And that's where people got to try it
Yeah
Cause it was free
Not free
But whatever
Kinda free
And that's when it started blowing up
And then of course the-
The epic store thing
Yeah
Um
It's-
What-
What's the deal
Okay
So I'm gonna be really careful here
Especially with you
Because the less you know about this game
The more you will enjoy it
Okay
It has many surprises
So at its core
It is a space exploration game
With a tiny solar system
And by tiny I mean
Physically small
Planets are maybe a kilometer in diameter
Okay
Like you can-
You can walk the entire length of a planet
Okay
And there are about
Ten planets I guess
In the solar system
And the premise is
Hey man
You're a weird little fish man
On your little fish planet
And you're gonna launch into space
And go exploring space
And that's it
And the primary gameplay
Is exploring areas
And reading translated old alien stuff
To find out what the old aliens were up to
And uh
There's a couple other gameplay mechanics
Like flying your ship
As all the zero gravity stuff you would expect
And all the goofiness of having to try
And maintain orbit and stuff like that
And
Mini man sky
It is exactly what no man sky
Told you it was gonna be
On a small scale that could be reachable
Mini man sky
Yeah
No man sky junior
And there are
Many
Many twists and surprises
And interesting things to see
That I refuse to talk to you about
Basically
Other than
It's really good
Did you decide that upon beating it
Or upon hitting a certain point
Okay I'll give you an example
Did you beat the game
No way
Alright good
I'll give you an example
And you will feel it
So I was streaming it
And I was going through the tutorial
And I was talking to the fish people
And then
I looked down into my chat
And saw people saying
Shut up about spoilers
Don't spoil it
And I went
What could you possibly spoil
And so I went up
And then I fell into the sun instantly
Because I forgot the gravity exists in space
Okay
And then I kept playing a little bit
And then I went
Oh
Oh wow
Okay
That
Wow
Okay
And I was really glad that in my chat
You know the dancing in chat
I hadn't actually seen what people were talking about
Okay
There is stuff in that game
Cool
I'm refraining from comparing it to games
That it is obviously like
Because that will tell you
What things about its structure
I'm an aggressive guest
Our chat is in emo mode
Yeah
I'm an aggressive guest
When I'm in the dark
So that sounds good
It's the kind of game that I could tell you a game
It's just like
Oh
That's fine
It's stellar
Pun intended
You did not beat it
But you've played enough
I played it for about five and a half hours
Then that's about a third of the game
Maybe a fourth
And decided that it's the best game
It's amazing
It's incredible
Unless it shits itself
If it shits itself
Then fuck it
But so far it is the most fun I've had
With the game this year
It has been nonstop
Just like
Oh
And wow
And just
You know
There's no way for me to react to this
Except for
Sounds good
Play it
Probably by yourself
But what I mean is not with these people
Not with you
Person at home
Well I might take a look for
On the channel
Yeah, that's fine
Yeah
But not with you
Okay
Alright
Because you people try and ruin things
Okay
It's so good
Can't help it
Sounds good
It's also
If you have any
For real though
If anybody listening to this
Has any anxieties about space
Like a certain person that I know
Who thinks that space is just nighttime
You probably shouldn't play this at all
Because it takes the fucking disorientation
Of being into space
Like to the absolute maximum
I got really anxious and confused at a couple points
Because I fucking fucked up parking my ship
And then watched my ship float the fuck away from me
In orbit
And was fucked
Unfortunate
Title confusion
As everyone has to slide past outer worlds
Outer worlds
The entire stream that I played it
I had people coming and going
How'd you get outer worlds so early
Exactly
The whole time
Unfortunate
Very unfortunate with that
Also
It's nice to know
That
Even if something comes out
And is initially
Like
Not
Like no one hears about it
It can make its way out
From obscurity
Well, Willie
You know
You see, that's our job
That's influencers
Influencers
We have to make sure to use our powers
To give everyone the influenza
Who was it?
Who was the famous author
That died before
Their work saw success
I'm gonna say
A hundred different ones
There is a notable author
Or am I thinking of a painter
All of them
Okay, well
In any case
All of them, every single one
I mean, yeah
Well, in this case it's not upon death
However, like if you come
And your launch window goes away
And then
Well, luckily enough
This game gets a second launch window
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
So
Just look down
In an email only chat
To see the one person
Who can speak
Being Mothman
Saying Mothman draws
Mothman
Oh, no
You're okay
You're not gonna die
Before your work is appreciated
I appreciate your work right now
Right now
Yeah
Anyway
But like
I was gonna say the death window
Of a game's launch period
Where like
There's no coming back from it
Usually would mean
That's where it's over
But yeah, that's cool
Made it back
And then Epic Games Store controversy
Can do a double down on it
So that's fun
It's an indie game
That was Kickstarter
And it's old
It's one of the oldest ones
It's like six years old
And you play it
And you're like, yeah
They totally put six years of work into this
You can feel it coming off of everything
Made by anyone in particular
Not that I know of
I don't recognize the name
I can't remember the name
Sounds good
It might be their first fucking game
If so
You know like
The Hollow Knight comes out
And you're like, this is the first game
By these three people
And you're like
Studio MDHR
Yeah
Yeah
Okay
So that's it for Pat
I'm gonna go see Spider-Man
After this podcast
I'll let you know how that is
Ooh, you catching that on the late-lates
Yeah
And
You wanna check out any of that shit
This week's gonna be Sinking City
Outer Wilds, Monster Hunter
And I'm gonna start FF7 this week
You know why?
Because FF7 is a good goddamn game
And that shit's 22 years old now
So a lot of people don't know about it
You can check that out
Over at twitch.tv slash angriestpat
That's twitch.tv slash angriestpat
Usually stream at 8 p.m. on Eastern
Uh
Okay
So we can hit the news
So I'll talk
I'm gonna go watch Spider-Man tonight
Because I gotta get ready
For phase four
Um
Yeah
We like
Here's the thing
Like that's just gonna be a big
Wapping half of this goddamn episode
Yes
So do we get out all the other shit?
Yes
Yes, we do
Absolutely
Okay
And we skim them
Okay, we get them out and we skim
Alright, let's get some pond scum off
God, I just remembered
I just remembered one at the last second
And I wanted to pull it up
Um
Because it's less of a news story
But it's still
Ah, fuck, where is it?
Did you see the tweet
Basically referring to
Uh, showing you footage of NBA
2020
And the story mode in that
The live in the dream
Equivalent
No
Uh, god, let me just
Let me just fucking
Google real aggressively here
Um
It is
Like, you wanna, you know, remember
Uh, Shikigami Noshiro, remember Chaos Wars
Yeah
Uh, all of that
Yeah
Handing NBA players
A piece of paper with their lines on it
And then asking them to read it
For the story mode
Is the fucking funniest shit
It has ever been
Uh, oh god, damn it
I can't find it
Well
I'm sure this will come up again later
I, because I just, at the last second
I went, shit, I forgot about that story
Hey, if you retweet, if you tweet
The story at me, we'll retweet it
So that you can see
NBA voice actors
Literally
NBA players
Excuse me, excuse me
NBA players
Being asked to voice lines
And like, you can hear as
Like, what you need to do
Is go to the court
Put on your shoes and
Practice the game
To, like, it is
It's not bad
The worst it's ever heard
Like, the absolute worst I've ever heard
That's amazing
Um
We got the real players
Yeah, yeah, yeah, live in the dream
Anyway
Unfortunately, I lost that story
Is Cats on there?
What do you wanna say?
I don't wanna say anything
But everybody wants to see Cats
So let me tell you what I think about Cats
That is nightmare fuel
Holy shit, that is the worst
Uh, fuck the actual Cats trailer
Go to Peele's Twitter
And watch his retweet
Where they took the music out
And they put the us
I got five on it, creepy music remix
Yeah
Way more appropriate, perfect fit
I saw a big old viral tweet
You know, big old, big old
Big old likes and retweets tweet
That was what the fuck is going on
With visual effects artists
This year
And the question is not, no
Visual effects artists are all talented
And have no creative control
But no, seriously, what is actually going on
With visual effects direction?
Now
We got Sonic
We got Cats
Uncanny Valley
Is the new
The Uncanny Valley is apparently infinite
Well, it's the hot new property
That we gotta move in on
Lion King's the shit
Just shit also
They're selling
There's real estate agents
Selling land inside that Uncanny Valley
And you can move on down
And pick up yourself a nice big mansion
Ian McKellen's like CG face
Almost comes off the character model
When he turns towards the camera
Okay, Dame Judy Dench is the only one
That actually looks like
She makes sense because she has a cat face
Yeah
Dame Judy Dench's face is already like
Neuron
Yeah, she already has cat eyes
And cat mouth, right?
But she's wearing fur
So she's wearing the fur
Of a thing she killed
I also checked up with the history
Of what Cats is about
It's a death cult
Yeah, you know
It's a death cult
Memories
That shit looks like cat in a hat
For real, it's bad
Marshala Ali
Showing up as well
Because he's gotta be in everything
I gotta get more Academy Awards
Yeah
I'm certainly not gonna get it
For my next role
So I'll get it for Cats
Yeah
Yeah, that's some weird shit
But I didn't dock it
Because CG is terrible now
Go to Peele's Twitter
Go watch that version
So yeah
So first bit
First bit of Pawn Scum
Shigesato Itoi, aka
The creator of Mother
The Earthbound
Says he's still open for others
To make Mother 4
Did an interview with Nintendo Dream
And more or less said
Like we keep getting asked about Mother 4
And buried treasure
Our stance is that
It's already impossible for Itoi to create it
We'd be glad if someone else created it
This has never changed either
So that line that can cause a lot of confusion
In the past about
Like is he saying
They want literally like fans
To make this game
It's now the
We're back in this discussion mode
And I'm gonna go ahead and say that
Unless like there's an elaborate
Like statement that says otherwise
I'm assuming he means someone else
At Nintendo
Yes, his blessing
On the people
Let the company to whatever
I don't think he's saying
Fans make the game
I think he's saying
Someone at Nintendo
Can take it off my hands
But also for real though
Like Toby Fox did make Mother 4
And it's good this time
Because Earthbound sucks
Yeah
Gotcha
If I was an Earthbound fan
I would not
Like to think of other
Tales as Earthbound 4
I don't know
The people who told me
Other Tales like Earthbound
Are Earthbound fans
Is it because the kid
Has the sweater
Or anyone's around
Because it's very similar in tone
And look and
And then you fight in the first person
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, that's a hardy fuck off
From everyone in the chat
That's no
No, I saw a guy
Yeah, that's right
I saw one guy
Yeah, okay, alright, for enough
I saw
We can skim that one
Yeah
To
Interview
With
The Stadias
So director of
Google Stadias
Product
Sorry, Google Stadias
Director of Product
Andrei Dorinichev
Did an interview
Answered some questions
As to what the people's confusion
Was
About a bunch of stuff
And
It's all bullshit
Every single
Word of that whole thing
Is a total lie
Why did the chicken
Cross the road?
Stadia
You see, people are like
Sending that clip
Of the podcast preview around
In threads about the Stadia
I did not
That's pretty funny
Every single time you talk to
These Stadia guys
It's always like a nonsense pipe dream
Like the internet infrastructure
Will improve
We think that streaming is the future
We think that streaming is the future
Of all things
Even though
Okay
Well, like
So last time we talked about it
I caught
Like, I think it was, yeah, there was
It was really just one person that said
Like
You guys are totally wrong, by the way
Because
There is a Netflix-like service
That Stadia is going to be
It's the paid service
The thing that everyone's talking about
And getting that at is the free service
But the paid one is going to be
What you're describing
Yeah, no, the paid one is the one
Where you get one shitty PS Plus game
So false information
Well, hey
False information, right?
And the first question in the interview
Is
Can you clarify what the free game situation is
For Stadia Pro
As it is confusing due to mixed messages
And he says
To be clear, Stadia Pro
Is not Netflix for games
It's not!
As some people have mentioned
A closer comparison would be
Xbox Live Gold
Or PlayStation Plus
Where pro subscribers
Get 4K HDR streaming
5.1 sound
And elusive discounts
And some free games
Roughly one per month
Give or take
Starting with Destiny 2
So in other words
That's...
Oh my...
I didn't get that part
That's a game
I want to play
Through a fucking streaming service
Yeah
A fucking online game
That already has latency
So I'm sorry
Mr. Stadia Defense Force
You were lied to
Every single thing
They say about it gets worse
And I don't know
I've probably said this before
But I don't know
And I don't know
I've probably said this before
But streaming as a default
It can't
Because the speed of light
Isn't fast enough
Well
It's like that fucking
Goofy panel from
Is it High Score Girl
Or the fighting game manga
It's not High Score Girl
But yeah
The speed of light is too slow
The speed of light is too slow
For us
What a boss
He's up his own ass
So hard and I love it
Like
I'd like to
Compare the Stadia's reality
With something
That I was fucking around with last night
Were you fighting gamers exist in a world
Of one one thousandth of a second
So
Last night
The speed of light is too slow for us
I became frustrated
Because
Remember the FF14 servers used to be here
They used to be in Montreal
Which meant I used to have a ping
Of like 5 to 10
It was the best ping ever
I could do all sorts of shit
Right
Now my ping is about
80 to 100
Because
The servers are in fucking California now
Right
Sad
However that means that there's stuff
That I just can't do anymore
There's something called double weaving
Where you use certain abilities
Right after one another
And they will like bump up against each other
If you have a high ping
So I decided to bite the bullet
And started using a VPN service
Called Mudfish
Which roots your shit more accurately
Lost me about 10 ping
Now what it's actually about
What it's actually about
Is
You can
Use the service to spoof
Whatever game you're playing
Into thinking you have a ping of zero
And it turns off all the lag
Accommodation
Which means that
It plays like it's local
But then sends the signals
According to your regular ping
Doesn't that fuck up everyone else?
Nah
And it makes it so that my abilities
Come out with perfect timing
And I can double weave no problem
But
Wait, there's debt
Where does the lag debt go?
Where does the lag debt go into the future?
I don't understand
So here's how it works
Here's how I understand it works
Say you use an ability in Final Fantasy XIV
I do a punch, bam
It has a cooldown of 2.5 seconds
Before I can use that ability again
Now I want to use something called an off global
Which I can use in between
It's not affected by that
I can use one here, one here
And then a second global
They all have cooldowns
And the first hit and the last hit
Share a cooldown
So when you click it
They all do the white
The ideal is to be able
To hit the global cooldown
And then hit two off globals
In that 2.5 second window
The problem is
Is that when you activate them
They kind of get locked in a little bit
So what ends up happening
Is if you click the global
And then hit two off globals
And you have latency
When you go to click the global
Again, instead of clicking immediately
It still has to finish the last move
And it does something called clip
Which means it won't activate right away
It's about smoothness, okay
When you spoof the server
Into thinking you have a ping of zero
It won't stop you
Because of your latency
Because what happens is
Usually the server has to call back to you
And say that move is done
Now you can do the next move
So now it just says
My local service says
The move is done
Basically in ideal perfect conditions
This is how it works
You should be able to get these moves in
Before the cooldown kicks in
Absolutely
But you can't
Because I have to wait for the server
To tell me it's okay to hit the next one
So what you do
Is you spoof it to zero
So then it's always okay to hit the next one
But it keeps sending them in
According to the 90 millisecond ping
And this isn't cheating
Absolutely not
Okay
In fact
If you type in
Do me a favor
Go to Google right now
Hold on
So
What would the effect be
For example
Not everyone uses this obviously
Obviously not
And
What would the effect be
If everyone did
So
A numerous amount of things
So
The better your ping is
The less this has an effect
Yes of course
At a certain ping level
When you're garbage
When you're on your shitty Comcast
And you won't say
Like Mothman's chat
He's got a ping of 200
Right
If your ping is too low
What'll happen is
Moves are gonna be hit
On your local client
Before the server got your last one
And then shit
No you won't DC
But shit will just
Stop happening
Like
Like the move won't
Like you'll click one two three
And by the time you hit three
One still doesn't reach there
So two won't happen
So this is the why rollback exists
Yeah
But if you're
But like if someone's forcing
Their shitty connection to be
To send things at like
A rate as if they were
With zero ping
And that never gets received
If the last action never gets received
What does the server do
You said it does nothing
Well the server will actually
Literally do nothing
Because it will
Because it will interpret you
As hitting buttons simultaneously
And then the first one that reaches it
Will be the one that goes through
So one you need a stable connection
For this
And two you need a decent one
This is to help
Because I am far away
See I like
I have a really fucking fast internet connection
That is rock solid
But I am far away
I don't know if I understand
But I think I understand
And it sounds like this
Would be like
Unplayable if everyone were to
Actually use this as their
What no why
Because wouldn't you have
The only thing that matters ever
Is your relation to the server
Not other people
Okay but
Wouldn't for example
A healer
That is healing with cooldowns
Sometimes then have situations
Where they're going to heal you
And that doesn't go through
Because they
Do you have a shitty connection?
Absolutely
Or if your ping is too high?
So that action never occurred
But they're now still on cooldown
No it wouldn't be on cooldown
It will just not have happened at all
The problem
So what you're describing
Willie
Is an existing actual real issue
In the game
Without any modification
Where under certain specific circumstances
Because of the server ping rate
You will hit a button
It will not go off
But you will have wasted the cooldown
Okay
In particular there are
All the
If you play on
Like the unideal servers
No
Just in general
Because the server has a low ping rate
So
Ping crimson
That's good
I like that
I like that
But no Willie
You know all the tank abilities
That make you completely invincible
Right
And all the healer abilities
That heal you completely to full
Take about a second to register
With the server
Okay
So your oh shit button
Is not actually oh shit
Because often times you hit it
And then die
And then it goes off
So that's happening anyway
Yeah
Okay
This is just telling the game
Turn off all your lag compensation shit
Just let me fucking pretend
I'm on zero
And then I'm going to do all my inputs
And here's the thing
Because there's client side like
Integrity
In which I am
I am
Basically I am doing my actions
Properly
According to my own timers
And then as long as those are correct
And I have an uninterrupted
Non packet loss
Connections to the data center
They will all be synced up
And rolling together
Yes
If I have any kind of signal jitter
I'll have rollback problems
It won't roll it back
But certain punches
Or attacks just won't go through
Provide
But this only works providing
That your connection is not utterly garbage
Yeah, no this is not
Okay
So people use what the fast
I don't know if you've heard of that
No
People use mudfish
Personally I prefer mudfish
Because you pay like pennies a month
Or whatever
You pick the games you use it for
This is extremely common
For MMO players
Because it's not to make
Your bad connection good
No bad connection
Can be made good via VPN
Yes
It's to make your good connection
Either better
More stable
Or avoid routing you
Through problem areas
So when the servers were in Montreal
There was a really big problem
Because there's an internet service
Distributor
Whatever named level 3
That had a node that would get
Killed by Netflix in this area
Around 7pm
8pm
Every single fucking week night
Which is prime time for an MMO
And everybody that used Comcast
On the east coast
Would naturally get routed
Through this one node
And they would disconnect
From the game constantly
They would lag out
And it was because of the path
That it took in the internet
So people started to use VPNs quite often
So that the VPN would go
That's a bad node
Go through Toronto
Even though your ping goes up by 5
You're avoiding that piece of shit
Internet spot
Like New York or something
So that was the primary reason
People use these VPNs
I hear you
I get it
And upon further elaboration
I see what you're saying
If you show up next week
And go
So I've been banned from FF14
I'm gonna fall off my chair
I would be very surprised
As it is
I'm gonna fall off my fucking chair
As it has been
These VPN services have been commonly used
For like 4 five years now
Yeah
Like they're not official
And also it has nothing to do with the game
This is my internet
Sing a song of sorrow
In a world without time
Ping Crimson
But no it makes a big difference
The reason why I bring all of this up
Is because
My distance from the server
Is significant enough that
The game I'm playing now is significantly better
Than the game I was playing last night
To the point where I signed up for an extra service
To improve it
Because the speed of light
And the internet infrastructure
Suck ass
It's not even good enough for the existing online games
Those have client components
Let alone pure streaming
It's ridiculous
So basically
Gold Experience Requiem
Is a state in which your packets get dropped forever
Yeah
Your packets will never reach me
They will never reach the server
They keep getting dropped
Oh my god that's actual
Oh my god we did it
We explained Gold Experience Requiem
It causes your opponent to suffer packet loss
They will act and do the actions locally
As much as they want
But the packets will never reach you
They never reach the server
Oh my god we totally did it
Straight up
We totally did it
100%
You locally act and understand your actions
The server never sees it
And it's like it never happened
Packet drop
It's fucking packet loss
Yeah
Solved
Solved
I never thought we would get there from here
100%
100% solved
That is the best explanation
For it yet
And it's consistent
That's amazing
That's amazing
Fuck yeah
Stadi is a joke
Stadi is a fucking joke
I didn't even get to the rest
There's more to the interview
Oh of course there is
Let's skim some more
What do you got?
Wow
What's in there?
Castle Super Beast 1
Araki 0
Stadia
Are there achievement plans?
Yes achievements is a lifelong gamer
And a pathological overachiever
I love achievements so yeah achievements are coming
And then we get to the meat and the potatoes
If the Stadia service is discontinued
Do
We know what if anything will happen with game purchases
Uh huh
And then I felt a shift in the force
Oh yeah
The midichlorians started doing their thing
Started vibrating
And the hand waves started
And they're like
We get this a lot
I hear you
Moving to the cloud is scary
I felt the same way
When music was transitioning from files to streaming
Have you read this?
I still have all my old CDs in the garage
Although it's hard to find the CD player these days
Smiley
The same happened when movies turned photos
And my docs and other files
Uh went to the cloud
And it's great
Games are no different
Eventually all our games will be safely in the cloud too
And we'll feel great about it
I've been
We've been investing a ton in tech infrastructure
And partnerships over the past few years
Nothing in life is certain
But we're committed to making Stadia a success
You'll lose all your games
The games you buy on Stadia are yours to play
From day one we'll support takeout
So that you can download your game metadata
Including your saves if you want to
Of course it's okay to doubt my words
There's nothing I can say to make you believe if you don't
But what we can do is launch the service
And continue investing in it for years to come
Exactly how we've been doing with Gmail, docs, music,
Movies and photos
That's exactly what we're committed to
That's rich
You talk about only the Google products that weren't killed
Like email
You're gonna lose all your games
When the Stadia goes down in two years
He goes on to ask
Have you heard the tale of Darth Plagueis?
That is the most amount of words I've seen
Answering a question with no content in it
Whatsoever
He refuses to answer the question
What will happen to your games?
Hey man
We know
We understand
Yeah but what'll happen?
It's scary
But other services have come
And we got to trust the digital age eventually
That's actually not true at all
We got there
And you can download your metadata
That's not true at all
Netflix works because television and film are disposable
And when people lose access to things like Always Sunny
They flip their fucking shit
And then go acquire it somewhere else
So I don't know exactly what this type of metadata would entail
But if it's like others
It'll just be your stats
You can hold on to your metadata
And remember that you played this game
It'll be whatever server based information
That you've sent to them
Will be like here you go
This is what you did
But it will not be your game
Yes
Because there's no
Google's gonna kill this in 18 months
What ideal possible answer would there be?
Refund
Oh flat
Delisting equals refund
Money out of pocket if you take the game away
Absolutely
Yeah that is a bad business model
That means
This is a bad business model
That forces them to have a money losing scenario
That is out of their hands
If a company delists or goes out of business
Because if a company goes out of business
Why would their game still be listed?
If a company decides they don't want it anymore
For I don't know, Marvel licensing purposes
Or whatever the fuck
Well a lot of games
Companies go bankrupt or disappear
But as long as you bought them on the service
That you bought them on
You can still redownload them
And if you still have a physical copy
Of course no one can take that away from you
There might even be lawsuits
That are not like
There might even be lawsuits
That require the game to not be sold
In which case it is delisted
And destroyed
Yeah that is a completely unsatisfactory answer
That's a pretty terrible way to put it
Unsatisfactory, it's nonsense
It's crap man
Is anything being done to combat data caps
Or is it purely on us to converse with our ISPs
$50 extra a month for me to not have a data cap
I can't predict the future
But we've seen ISPs adapting in the past
I saw it with YouTube
We'd expect that to continue
Players concerned about data usage
Will definitely have the tools
And the app to manage your data better
And to your unique situation
Not sure if that'll be day one or later
There's a lot of ISPs offering plans
And the hundreds of MBPS
Or even gigabits with no caps though
We'll see different progress in different countries
And certainly are expecting ISPs
To continually improve their service
It'll be on the ISP to match to Stadia's speed
So this is the second time they have said this
The first time it was like a little more vague
And they said we expect infrastructure to improve
To accommodate the gaming future or some shit
Let's go talk to Eli
On his fucking bullshit satellite internet
I'm trying to find the right analogy
For the thing that sits
And has no...
ISPs don't need to do anything
They are bloated monopolies
And they receive money for existing
There is no incentive whatsoever
For them to lift a finger
The only reason the Canadian ISPs
Which were in a worse monopoly state
Than the American ones
Were able to do anything
Is because the government threatened them
With all sorts of shit
And now there's all sorts of goofy fucking provisions
Right?
But if they don't need to
They don't do it
Why would they do it?
They get money just to be there
Like they will not
They will absolutely not lift a fucking finger
Until like a government crane
Has to remove the roof
And pull them out
Also
Of the fucking house
For somebody from Google
To say that the infrastructure will improve
When their own internet rollout shit
Is from what I can tell a disaster
Kansas City was supposed to be the first one
Remember?
Apparently it's really hard to actually
Physically install internet in Kansas City
Something about the ground being too hard
Still waiting on that satellite
That's going to bathe North America in free Wi-Fi
That doesn't even make any sense
Oh you don't remember that?
That was a project that was...
I don't remember what it was named
But it was an initiative started
That they wanted to just have free Wi-Fi
Across the entire continent
That would be ad supported
But the ping time on that would be
Bathe North America in Wi-Fi
Well
So yeah
ISPs will adjust, right?
So far
The balls
So far
Three out of four questions
Answered with complete disconnect from reality
You know what that is?
You know what that actually is?
Hey dude
Your new SUV seems too wide
It might not be street legal
We expect the roads to be improved
To accommodate our new wider car
Like, yeah
Three out of four questions
And the one that wasn't was about achievements
This is a Kenyan arrow
So
And then they ask about the friend system
And then they ask about cross platform
Possibly
And who cares?
Who gives a shit?
Like
The three biggest problems
Have no answers to them whatsoever
So
Remember everyone
And I'm being very serious about
If you plan or desire or know anyone
Who wants to spend money on the study
The most important thing to remember about all of this
Is the only way to really get ahead
In Google is to launch a product
Even if it fails
That's the only way
To really get some good groundswell
And some good promotions inside the Google corporation
Is to launch a product
Any product
I mean besides the fact that they pay you
To keep working on it
For their initiatives and stuff
This is much further along
Than the projects that die off
Like, you know
That just means it had people
Hire up working on it
Glass did eventually come out for businesses
They did sell
And do sell
Like a specific version
That's like not for like
You know
Whatever
John Peake
Joe
Public or Joe Q
Whatever the fuck they're saying is
Anyway, that's not for the layman
So
Hey, Willie, how do you like your fucking
YouTube account linked up to your Google Plus profile?
Love it
It's great
Makes things so much easier
Doesn't it?
So glad that I have to use that
That they've then discontinued
And now it exists as some vestigial account
Like
Maybe there's a different
World
Of ISP behavior
Across the ocean
No, no, it's something
No, no, no, it's in space
But I just
It's more than
It's on the alien planet
On the same land
Mass as us
No
Like
Do you have a provider at home with internet
That adjusts
Oh, no, here's the thing
Everyone who ever talks in these articles
Ever
Either lives in
Fucking
Redwood, Washington
Right, that fucking
The tribe with Microsoft
Or Silicon Valley
Every single fucking time
They live in the techno bubble
They live in the techno drone, Willie
And they don't know
I should be happy because
Quite frankly, this
Alleviates so much of that fear that I had
Oh, man, just about
The state of regular consoles
Because your fear was based on competency
And good enough
ness
Good enoughness that
Mobile games currently achieve
This is a fucking joke
That convenience over
The quality
And now it's like what convenience?
Yeah
Yeah
Because god damn, dude
It really would suck
To have a world where
Like
You know, your friends
Don't really actually own consoles
Or like
Where most people are just doing this
Garbage streaming service
And only the people that really, really care
And save up for it
Go in on something
You mean it's a nightmare to think of a future
In which you don't actually own any of the things you buy
And everything is just leased to you
Via
Non-escapable
License agreement
And you can't actually touch it because it's
It's not real
And there's a lag
It's all lagged and branded
Your ISP is going to determine your ability
To properly play the game
And you're just renting the food you eat
You have to give it back
You know, but like the world of all the problems
That come with multiplayer games
Now apply to all games
Where you just take that issue
And you expand it everywhere
I too fear our encroaching dystopia
Data caps, yeah
Not even to mention that
Anyway
So that's hilarious
So stupid, man
It's so dumb
It is laughably out of touch
And we will see
We will see
God bless
Okay, so San Diego Comic Con happened
Oh, wait, hold on
Everybody
There is a Kickstarter
It's called Fiction Spear
It is a Mega Man Zero style
They call it Mega Man XS
But I think it's more Mega Man Zero style
Platformer
And it is currently
Looking to get about 20k
So take a look at the trailer
They show a whole lot of gameplay
So they get right to the point on that
Which I appreciate
And, yeah, I'm seeing
Kind of Inti creates, you know, MMZ vibes
Of a character that goes through platforms
And, you know, but it also has like
Brawling aspects as well
It looks pretty cool, man
Honestly, wall hopping
You know, all the trademarks
That you'd expect are there
And the sprite quality is pretty cool
The character looks very OC
Like many of these types of games
Yeah, it looks very much
Do Not Steal, DeviantArt OC
Check out Makul Blue
You know, someone's Trapper Keeper
Had many designs for this legally distinct
X Slash
What's his name?
Gunvolt
You know, but
This looks so much like Mega Man Zero
Holy shit
But yeah, the sprites are cool
And you run, you shoot, you melee
It's fun stuff
Looks solid
So, yeah, check it out on Kickstarter
If you like the looks of it
And I think it's worth bringing up
If you're looking for some of that
Mega Man style action
Please don't fall
Thank you
There we go
That is
What did you knock down?
Nothing, but I almost knocked something out
That is Fiction Sphere
It's an odd name
Yeah
At one point
Oh, there's like a racing section
And then at one point
Like, the logo opens up with a book
So I think the book has something
To do with the name and stuff
There's a red person
Ah, I'm glad
With blonde hair
Okay, really?
Okay
Yeah
Alright
So, uh...
Speaking of our encroaching dystopia
San Diego Comic Con happened
SDCC
Of the things
That did happen
Many things happened
I'll tell you what didn't happen
What's that?
D&D showing up to the Game of Thrones panel
Because...
Smart
I mean smart
Well, bitch coward
But smart
Fiscally
Fiscally responsible
Um...
Bitch coward
Bitch coward
Yeah
There is in fact
A trace of bitch in their hearts
To be found
Smells like bitch in here
Yep
Yep
Sensed it
Sensed bitch in your heart
I could feel it
Well, anyway
What did happen apparently
Because there was people that were like
Lots of people live tweeting
The Game of Thrones panel
And what I caught was that
Apparently
It was more or less like
Okay guys
Some of the actors are here
Be nice
Let's do the thing
And shout outs to like
Gwendolyn Christie
And the guy that played Theon
For like nominating themselves
Because HBO did it
And then for the Emmys
And then if the Emmys
Actually giving them the nomination
Because straight up the HBO
Like they nominated themselves
For like best writing
In some of the worst writing episodes ever
But they didn't nominate
Some of their best actors
So those people that submitted themselves
That actually got it from
The Emmys
It seems like the ultimate fuck you
Yeah
But hey, they still got to say
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, you guys
You got it, hey, good job guys
Thanks, yeah
Yeah
You know, and it was really just like
Disrespectful and shitty
That they did that
But regardless
Sounds like the panel went off
And it
I'm not sure
Actually this is
But someone said that like
They really cut off the questioning
Like they didn't allow for
A ton of open questions
What?
Yeah
And
So what?
And I believe someone there said
That they felt that the campaign
Against the Game of Thrones
Was media driven
Because look how many of you guys showed up
You're all here
And it's like
Oh, you're pulling one of those
You're saying that because
I showed up in the audience
To see how
The train wreck is going to go
Sir, sir, I showed up to boo you
Like, yeah, that's, you know
To the point where some of you aren't here
For fear of boo's
We came to the concert to boo
A boo
Anyway, that's really funny
That that went
But anyway, so
I
They can't dodge this forever
No, but they can dodge it
Until the check clears
Because why would they fuck up their money
That new money
Sure, but
Right, like
They got that new money for all those new projects
And if they show up and get into
A piss screaming match
With thousands of people
No, but
And just they're screaming and yelling
And things get ugly, right
How is that going to look
For the new projects they're attached to
Going forward
Terribly
Here's what I have to say
About how they can't dodge it forever
You're right
But at the same time
They're moving over to Star Wars
Yes, and the new HBO Confederate show
Something that is to be assumed
That you do the fucking contour on
Of course
Star Wars
Yes, at SDCC of all places
I have a significant feeling
That some Star Wars fans
Like Game of Thrones
They can't
They just can't dodge this forever
They will do a fucking panel
About the new Star Wars movie
And the first question will be
So how come you ruined Game of Thrones
You hack fucks
And they'll go
Well, we're not talking about that
We're talking about Star Wars
And the crowd will go
Right, so
See, the thing is
Is that if like
If they showed up
We would no doubt be living in a world
Where you know the American chopper argument
Meme
Oh, I love it
I love it
Where that would be replaced with them
On stage, pointing and yelling
You fuck
It was your idea to cut this part
Season A were alright
And then someone throws a chair
And then the brawl breaks out
That would be the new replacement
And we can't have that
Because they got all that new money
So they wisely
Did not show up to not fuck with the new money
But
That's some bitch shit
Someone described
That the situation with Game Freak
And the situation with D&D are very similar
And that
They don't care about the thing they're working on now
They just want to work on different stuff
Want to move on to the next thing, yeah
It would be like if they came
And owned it and walked on
It was so bad that it's not even like
That would save the feeling
It would be appreciated
It would be appreciated
And people would probably start to lighten up
If there was a sense of like
They took their lumps
Yeah
People would calm down
People would start to calm down
It would still be pretty bad
Because it took so long to get here
But most importantly
It would take
A lot of the weight of that
Off of the actors who are there showing up
That then have to basically
Be the ones to kind of face that
Never underestimate how humanizing it is
To take your lumps
Did you do a stupid?
Be like, I'm sorry
I did a stupid for real
I tried to
And then people genuinely
Appreciate it
Or they tell you you're making excuses
Sure
But when you double down
And go, nah, it was great
Or just disappear
Oh, fuck off
So
Now this is not to be confused
With the
Apology that is often thrown out
It has to be sincere
Be sincere about taking your lumps
Well, in any case
That was a hearty
Sensible chuckle was had
Yeah, I found out about that last week
And I've maintained my opinion smart
But bitch
Right
I wouldn't want to go out
In front of those fucking people
Neither would I
And if I had millions riding on it
I might think twice
But I would like to think in the end
I'd still do it
You'd like to think that
I'd like to think in the end
That I would still do it
I would
Well, I would do it for fun
But that's my personality
Cause, yeah
That is your personality
In my case, I feel like
I did it bad on purpose
That's the only way I could live with it
Because then it just feels like
You're walking around with this big
Inflated balloon
That you're waiting to pop
So
But
Kojima ran a panel for
Death Stranding
And revealed the box art
And that's all cool
It's got the redis on it
And then he got the pre-order bonus
For the funky fetus
Yeah
Which you can put in your house
And explain to
No one
Because why would you have
Friends and family
That would visit you
That's exactly it
However
Alongside all that came
A character detail
Which is like
Oh, wow
And it's the most
Kojima thing I've heard
Since he left
It's the most Kojima thing I've heard
Since he's covered in bees
Did you know that the pain
He shoots bees
We're talking, of course, about Hartman
Why is he called Hartman, Willy?
Because the character Hartman
Dies every 21 minutes
When this happens
He spends the time in which he is dead
Searching for his loved ones on the other side
After that brief period
His heart is restarted
He is resuscitated
Comes back to life
So that he can eventually
Have the additional opportunity
To search for his family again
While he waits for these moments
Where he's dead
And able to search
He spends the 20 minutes
Waiting by listening to music
Or watching short movies
That's fucking crazy
So not only is that fucking crazy
I'm like, okay
If that's Hartman
Then what the fuck
Is up with dead man
And die Hartman
Like, what the fuck
I am in love with that character
That concept
That is so interesting
As a single power
It explains why he looks miserable
In all the trailer shots
Oh, for sure
That's a bad existence
But that is a wonderful piece
Of simple characterization
That you're gonna take
Going into that
And I love that
That sounds, that's great
Feeling good about that
I miss my family
Every 21 minutes
It's really short
As a timer
It's thrice an hour
Yeah
Just turn it off to sleep
I guess the dead sleep
Is as rewarding as you can get
Really
Yeah
Hey, you wanna watch
Load of the Rings
Extended edition
I'm good
I'm good
Anyway
That's a tough watch
Yeah
So that was really cool
I like that
And I like that being like
Here's a random character
From this world
That we're just gonna explain
A little bit about
And I'm like, yay
This is one for the yay-yay board
As my nervous trepidation
And Kasha's optimism
Gives way to optimism
Yes, there we go
I still wanna make sure that
And I believe, yeah
I heard that
So it sounds like review copies
Are starting to be a thing
Is this now?
Or people are
Something
But I want to know
If those hands
That reach up and pull you
Are the threat
Or if it really is
The shit that we see in those cut scenes
Because the shit in the cut scenes
Is way more interesting
Than just the goopy hands
The goopy hands
Don't do the goopy hands
Okay
Kevin Smith
Had a couple of things to say
About episode nine
In particular, he was told
That the last shot of episode nine
Will melt your mind
He got to visit the set
And hang out with JJ
As some of the things that he wanted to do
After he had that heart attack
And he was being told
Over at...
He was being told by people at the set
To go check out this one set
Go check out the set here at Pinewood
You gotta go see it
And then he asked about that
And he's like, why is everyone saying
I gotta go see this set
And JJ said
You don't want this spoiled
Don't go there
You want to be in a theater when it happens
Trust me
Other people on the crew
Went in there and they saw it
And they said, man, I wish I hadn't seen it
Because it will melt your mind
Because apparently what that set is
Is the last shot of the movie
So he's bigging that up
So something's gonna be crazy
The J.N. Silent Bob movie looks fucking terrible
And embarrassing
Well, anyway, something about episode nine
Is gonna end on a crazy ass note
So he doesn't actually know that it'll melt your mind
He just got told that it would melt his mind
I'm like, whatever it is
It's obviously gonna be a very different thing
From the current status quo
My curiosity is
Are you going to change the world
In a very, very...
Is it gonna be a final?
Like, is it gonna be like
A mind melting because of its finality
Or because of the fact that it is a
The game has changed as we enter the new franchise
Of Star Wars
No, man, we'll be back in time
And Anakin Skywalker will be good this time
Could you imagine fixing the prequels?
No, just changing the whole thing
Like retconning all of it
Vader never turned evil, so everything's totally fine
So we're just gonna have Star Wars Adventures
And Star Wars Land
Oh, okay, okay, no
Could you imagine?
Okay, obviously that's stupid
But it is
But it is stupid
But mind melting is stupid
But what I thought for a second
Was the version where you're like
Could you imagine we were gonna fix the prequels
By just doing some completely different shit with them
And I was stopping to go, hold on a minute
What do you mean?
No, much dumber, much dumber than that
Because that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world
It would be impossible to explain because we're too far in
What if the final set was like
Kyle Katarn was there
And you were like, yeah
Kyle Katarn's the shit
Would you accept
A new prequel trilogy?
That just shits
I don't care
I guess not
It would be the most disrespectful move on the planet
It would be like
Open-ass diarrhea on Lucas' head
Yeah
To just announce
2023
Episode 1
It would be fucking crazy
But anyway
Who cares
Those original three movies are great
I'm sorry, I thought you would care about the new story
No, no, no, no, I'm not talking about the new story
Okay
I'm talking about the idea of going back to make new prequels
It's like, no, they're bad
They're so bad
I want them to retcon all of it
I want them to come out and say none of Star Wars ever happened
Luke was never born
I'm very, very curious about this because
I would hope that it falls into the category of
Like
Holy shit because of
Because we're ending the story on this note
And not holy shit because
Of what we want to do and sell after this
It would be nuts if they had the Force Gods there
Yeah
The three, the trilogy
The father, the son and the
Whatever
Yeah
Yeah
Give me the Force Gods
That shits canon
What if there were ten Darth Vader's
And that was the final fight
Oh, no, it's ten Darth Vader's
There it is
Like alternate realities
No
I just cloned them all and then chopped them up and put them in the suits
Ten Darth Vader's, just like Starkiller
That'd be a lot of Darth Vader's
And they're all Chad Vader, actually
What's Chad Vader?
No, no, no, no
Day Shift Manager
It's a web series called Chad Vader Day Shift Manager
Which was a guy at a perfect idealistic suit
With the best Darth Vader voice ever
Rivals James Earl Jones
Working as the Day Shift Manager of a local grocery store
Alright, so
Well, here's the thing, it does matter because his
Voice acting was so amazing
That he does all the non James Earl Jones Darth Vader now
Note to self, don't do Star Wars stories, got it
Next
Chad Vader Day Shift Manager is the best
It should be the grocery store from Chad Vader
Next story on the docket
Netflix's Witcher
Trailer
Dropped at SDCC
And
That's a whole lot of walking around
Need more, looks good
It's two things come to mind
One
For a show that is not based on those games
Nope
That character sure looks a whole lot like the guy from the games
He was drawn that way
That's the thing
What Garrett looked like is very known
His illustration and his description is that
Okay, and two
Brandon Roth is fucking jacked
You see his pectities?
Damn
Well, what I was gonna say is actually that
I really can't not see Superman in a big dumb way
Oh really?
I see Superman in a big dumb wig
It looks so bad sometimes
Like there's a couple shots where it's like standing off of his head
Because it's on top of his real hair
I'm sure they'll do
And I'm like Legolas head
Like they did a big
Orlando woven into his head
He was also punk so he shaved his head
Okay, that might be it
That might be the difference, right?
But it felt like
Like if we're gonna be seeing big long haired elven fucking
Fabio cover man stuff
Like it needs to look
Like it's not a fucking headpiece from like
They'll fix it in the CG, they'll fix it in the CG, don't worry
Like in asbestos wig
Some of the design prop shots came out
And they looked really bad
But overall the tone looks pretty good
It probably needs to be a little grimeer
But
This will probably be a useful companion piece
To get caught up to the real story that matters
Which is the games
Dude, he's got Fabio hair man
He's got Fabio hair
He's got Fabio hair
The character has Fabio hair
Okay, but Fabio's hair is actually his hair
He's got Fabio cosplay hair
Listen dude
He's a mutant
He's got weird hair
It's fine
The headpiece, the piece doesn't look great
Yeah
But sure
That's some witcher
The quality of that show to me
Is gonna depend on how much is him being tired
And doing shitty jobs
And how much is being involved in a
Giant royal conspiracy
The flavor I got off of his character
And soul caliber is that he's always tired
He's always tired
He is post Malone
He is so tired
And he is a moral center
In the fact that he is tired of everyone's bullshit
Everyone
Everyone
But is there anything to the fact that like
He looks like such a like
Harlequin romance novel
Like character and just an appearance
Yeah, because witcher's fuck
I just mean I'm like, you know, like
Design wise
You feel like you're opening up those books at the cash
At Farmer Prix
Well, he's a fucking fantasy character
Written in Poland in like the 80s
Is it that old?
Yeah, okay
Yeah, he's a fucking
He's a fucking Dragon Lance character
That made it super vague
That made it far, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
That makes sense, yeah
And he's also James Bond, you know why?
Because he can't get sick
So he fucks all day
Can't get this dick disease
It's from that era
That time frame
He's fantasy Chad
Right
He is totally crazy
And he managed to make it to 2019
Yeah
You know
El Minster didn't make it
No
Reslin Mejer didn't make it
Right
We never got one good video game with Reslin
And that's a crime because that character rocks
What the fuck
Drizzt made it for a little bit
Drizzt got to be in Baldur's game
Drizzt
He was also
He was also I think
Oh, see, don't feel
Two knives, two wolves
I think Drizzt
Did you say wolves?
Or whatever they are
Panthers, man, black panthers
Whatever the fuck
I think Drizzt got a cameo in the brawler
Forgotten Stone for the PS2
Oh, man
Dungeons and Dragons heroes
Yeah
Yeah
The Witcher made it
He totally made it
You know why he made it?
Because the most relatable thing about Geralt
Is that he's tired
It is the defining thing of his character
Is that he's exhausted and he hates it
Because he's just, yeah, as a design
You're just like, that is
It's weird that the same time period
Created in different real periods of time
Has different aesthetic sensibilities to it
Yeah
You know, so like
There's a fantasy era
That you can see that has like
The big sort of leathery armor
Boostier shoulder pad
Kind of cool designs
And then you go back long enough
And you kind of just have these sort of like
Well, I'll be blunt, man
The difference is not just time
Like Drizzt and Geralt
Are almost the same character
And they are contemporaries from the same era
It's who wrote them
And how depressed are they
Slash how edgy do they want their OCB
Drizzt, maximum fantasy edge fulfillment
Geralt, I'm sad and poor in Poland
That's it
I mean, you know, the world being like, you know
Here there'll be dragons
Yeah
And that's a fucking beholder over there
Yeah, and Geralt's like
Look at this dragon
Yeah, but also his tiredness
I should point out
He's probably like 150 years old
Right, he's an old fucking man
Anyway, so a trailer for that
Looked like Witcher
You think there's going to be stuff that's like
Game specific that gets put in
No, the time that is as far back as they could possibly go
Because in that trailer you see
You probably heard the name Yennefer
Yes
So they show Yennefer being an ogobitch, damn
And then they're like magic
And then she's not an ogobitch anymore
Because that's what they do
The sorceresses
Well, all I was going to say is that
Is there stuff that people that care about the Witcher now
Care about because of the games that gets thrown in
And then like somewhere that author is just going
Fucking video games
A lot of the look of that thing is
There he goes
That's what I'm kind of trying to ask
The number one of which is that
Geralt doesn't carry both swords on his back
Geralt keeps the sword that he's not using on his horse
But in the game they're like, dude, that would suck ass
So they put both swords on the back
Stuff like that
That's what I'm trying to figure out
What characters are like
Because guess what?
The world that mostly cares about this adaptation
More than the source material
So if you go back to the source material
Based on being upset
I imagine there's a somewhat delicate balancing act
Because the author clearly hates the games
Because they stole his thunder or whatever the fuck
So this takes place in the ancient early book past, right?
But it just happens to look like the games
It just happens to look and characterization of certain characters
Are going to be closer
But, and this is the funny part
Since the author doesn't know anything about the games
They can just say that they took artistic license
And it just so happened to be that series
Going to act just like series in Witcher 3
Or so on and so forth
Yeah
If there's ever any like
Like
I'm wondering if it's the type of thing where like
Because it's
I'm assuming he's like it's a direct adaptation of his like
No
It's an amalgamation of earlier stuff
Okay
It looks like they're taking
Because series is a big character
And she was in some of the later books
And it looks like they're taking like her stuff
And rolling it back into like the beginning
It's really the showrunner said
No games will influence the series
That's bullshit
That's fucking bullshit
You can see in this design
He said that because he doesn't want to make the author upset
I'm telling you
Since you're unfamiliar with the Witcher Wolves
I can sum up why like what I want out of that
It should be more Cowboy Bebop and less Game of Thrones
Say there's ten episodes
Seven of them
Should be
Plot
No
Should be
Fucking bumbling around
Having zany adventurers
And three should be plot
Okay
I was about to say like are you misremembering Cowboy Bebop
And how many important episodes there were
Because there were not many
Yeah, that's my exact point
Most are bumbling
Witcher should be bumbling a boot
Okay
Because that world is goofy and grimy and shitty
Speaking of bumbling a boot
Let's hear it
The trailer for Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise
Okay, if you don't want Star Trek spoilers that are decades old
Don't listen to this
I don't know how I feel about this Picard trailer
Sounds like they want to make another TNG movie
I feel as if this is the product of like
Maybe I'm wrong, I have no idea
But it feels like 20 years of conventions
And people wanting something to happen
This sounds like it getting willed into existence
So that's not what happened
What happened is STD is a massive disaster
Because
What was that last one called?
Nemesis
Because Nemesis disappointed people
STD, Star Trek Discovery
The show
Oh, the new show
Is a total fucking train wreck
I heard otherwise from someone that said they liked it a lot
That's crazy, it's an ass wreck
The Orville is actually a much better
Ass wreck, that's a new word
The Orville is actually a much better show
And this is CBS
Yes, CBS because they copyright claim my video
Amazon Prime?
No, it's their own thing
It's CBS all digital
I thought this show was coming to Amazon Prime
Hell no, it's not
It's coming exclusively to the
See, STD didn't get people to sign up for CBS blah blah blah
Because that's the only thing that matters on it
And it's STD
I guess that Amazon Prime logo I'm looking at in the corner doesn't mean anything
Alright, well I don't know what the fuck
Anyway, go on
Go on
I like what they did with the continuity here
Picard's old and he's at his vineyard
Like he's supposed to
There are episodes where you see the future
The future, not like a future but the future
And that's where he ends up, he's old and he's at the fucking vineyard right?
Patrick Stewart looks older in this
Than he does when the old man aged him up
In the old stuff like
And there's a little teaser shot of data there at the end
Where Brent Spiner comes back
And Seven of Nine
Well the Brent Spiner thing is a problem
Because Brent Spiner is playing a robot
And a robot is not supposed to look old as fuck
But Brent Spiner looks old as fuck
But what are you gonna do?
I mean there's a lot of makeup on him
There's a lot of makeup on him
There is a lot of makeup on him
Because he is old as fuck
So what I did hear about this was that
So apparently he said he did not want at all to ever play Picard again
And then he got handed the script and read it and went fuck
Yeah okay I'll do this
So apparently he was that impressed to go back on what he said
I think that story is very similar
Except what was handed to him was slightly different
I mean dude after doing like fucking endless circuits on the convention route
And like
So Michael Dorn told a story at a panel a couple years ago
Fuck it like he's played Charles Xavier
He's done his stuff like yeah I'm sure the money is good
But at the same time it's like
He did emoji movie
He did American Dad
Yeah he was the boss on American Dad
So Michael Dorn told a story a while ago at a panel
Michael Dorn's the guy who plays Worf for those who don't know
And Michael Dorn and Brent Spiner on TNG had a rough fucking job
Because they got to come in five hours before everybody else
Sit in the chair and have the make up people attack them before they got to do their roles
Right
That included even if Worf had like four lines in the whole episode
You're gonna sit in the chair for five hours Mike
So when he was done with TNG and he got his residuals
All those guys got residuals right
It's like oh it's indication
Yeah I'm never gonna fucking play Worf again god damn
And then the showrunners for DS9 came to him
And he said I'm never gonna play because he's on DS9
He's in for like four seasons right
He's like I don't want to do Worf again that's so much
Whoa that's a lot of money
Alright
Worf me up
That is exactly how he tells that story
Is that he was turning it down and they told him how much
And he was like fucking put me in the chair and put the make up on me
Right
For Patrick Stewart to come back
Like no amount
Like you know
And Brent Spiner too those are the two of the biggest ones
Those two guys are the ones
It also feels like this had to happen after a bunch of other attempts came and went
Yeah
Right
You gotta get some distance and then some clunkers
And they got from Voyager the only people were salvaging are Jerry Ryan and Robert Picardo
Robert Picardo has guest starred in other stuff because he's a Hallgram
And Jerry Ryan is seven
And she is doing her best Jerry Ryan impression
And she is not acting like Seven of Nine at all
She is just playing her character from Boss in Public
Which I remember
Because I watched that show
It was a good show
Is there ever any overlap between like Seven of Nine and TNG
Uh
You need to add
Okay you know
What is the actual question
I can answer for you
She's from Voyager
In the Delta Quadrant
And so would she know anything
They get back at the end
Okay
Alright
Also there's an episode where Riker shows up on Voyager because Q is shenanigans
Okay
I mean I'm like okay that character from that other series is looking at Jean-Luc Picard
They exist
And they're like
Reginald Barkley
Reginald Barkley the weirdo nervous guy
Yeah
He is in the last season of Voyager because he's talking to them via like a long range beacon
Nola Var Burton on that cast list
It's a bummer
And I need him lost in a dark room going who said that
Who's talking
I need it
I will always remember one of the last things I saw was a clip of him trying to get
He's trying to get whatever Kirk
The fucking
What's his name
You see I'm bad with this
I just my memory sucks
You need to tell me who you're talking about
Kirk the actor
What's the actor's name
Shatner
Trying to get Shatner's attention
And for something
Some sort of video or something
And Shatner won't give him the time of day
And they're both at this convention
And he couldn't ignore him any harder
Well by the way I can give you a reason for that
William Shatner's a fucking asshole
Okay
Well
Into the case I
It was really embarrassing and kind of cringy
And I felt really bad
Yeah
No Shatner's a dick
But
This is no
Yeah but like so looking at the wiki entry for this
You can see straight up who's there
And his name is not there
Jonathan Frakes coming back
Jonathan Frakes
No
What's her name
You know what's really upsetting
I was like Jonathan Frakes
I'm like and who looks old as fuck
We're gonna see who this looks great
Jonathan Frakes looks old as fuck
Right
He looks crazy old as fuck
He looks older now than Picard did in the show
Right
So
I was like
I'm gonna look at a photo of Jonathan Frakes
To send to people
Cause I'm saying this
And people are like
That's crazy
You know what you're talking about right
And this is Jonathan Frakes
Right
You know what Jonathan Frakes looks like
Yep
He's old as fuck
So I'm looking at this
Oh my god
If you shave that
That man's beard off
Do you know who that looks like
That's my mom
Oh
My mom looks just like Jonathan Frakes
That's really weird
It's super weird
Okay
And I showed Paige the picture
She's like oh my god
But that does look just like your mom
Shout out to everyone who's got my
Jonathan Frakes emote
What is
Well you have a Jonathan Frakes emote
I sure do
Why do you have a Jonathan Frakes emote
It didn't happen
Oh
Complete fabrication
Oh no
I teched that throw
No you didn't
It didn't happen
Our writers made that one up
It's a complete fabrication
It didn't happen
I loved watching that show
That's a great show
Ripley's believing her not
It's fucking great
It's unsolved mysteries with a twist
It's false
I'm shocked
That Jerry Ryan came back just to Star Trek
Because apparently
The only reason she took the job
For 7 in the first place
Is that she had like an abusive thing with her husband
I remember
And he like
Pressured her into it or something
So like I'm kind of shocked
She's back in Star Trek
She has not been back in Star Trek
For anything
Since
Voyager ended
When's Whoopi
Whoopi's alive right
I don't know
Wait the real act
Yes Whoopi Goldberg is alive
And hosting
The View or whatever
Aw she can come back
She can fall through Time Portal and be fine
Her character is a
Her character is a 5,000 year old Chinese myth dragon
Yeah
So that's fine
Gaiden's the shit
I'd love to see Gaiden back
There's too much action in that trailer
It makes me nervous
The car trailer
It makes me genuinely very nervous
So here's the thing
Is it one of those bits where it's like
This is a one and done ski
Because it's the final story
That's sending it all off
Or is it
The opening of a new season
That could then follow up
With a second season
That has even more
TNG faces and names
These people are all
On the verge of death
Yeah is it a slow
Like drip feed
Of all your faces
All the faces you love
You know
Season 2
Season 3 brings back
Pulaski
No she is dead
She is dead
She's a dead lady
Yeah I don't know
Pulaski's fucking dead
I don't know
Will Wheaton
No
Well anyway
I feel a lot of sympathy for Will Wheaton
He's terrible
And he was terrible in the show
But it must have been
A lot of pressure
To be known as the
The worst part of Star Trek
For
Ever
Because he's
The worst part of Star Trek
I have
That's a lot of
Weight on your shoulders
Would you prefer this be
A new series with
If it's good
Would you prefer this be
A new series
With multiple seasons
Or would you prefer this be
A single
I'll take anything good
Star Trek
A single send off
No I want it to be good
And last
Because
TNG has a problem
And that TNG ended
It has a
I don't know if you've ever watched
All good things
It's a perfect ending
The last episode of the show
The last episode of the show
Is a perfect ending
It is absolutely perfect
And then they made movies
And then they made movies
And then movies all suck ass
Okay
So
Like we already had
Like a perfect send off
And they fucked it up
So
If you're going to make it
If you're going to keep
Keep drama kind of had that
Yeah
Okay
And the name of the episode
Is all good things
What an amazing name
For the final episode
Of a great show
What was I going to ask
Yes
So
We've confirmed
That it's confirmed
That Tarantino's still making his movie
Is that going to continue
The movie verse?
I don't know dude
I could talk
Tarantino's movie is what exactly?
An R rated Star Trek movie
Are you serious?
From what I've heard
Is it old or new?
It's not out yet
No but
No I mean is it old
Is it the Prime Universe
Or the Offshoot Universe
Prime being Shatnerverse
Yeah let's say that
Yeah I think so
Okay
That's baffling
That's baffling
Because you have your prime universe
You have the new universe
The new movie universe
And then you have the mirror universe
In which the
Oh wait sorry no
I don't know okay
I'm not good with this shit
Because I don't know it
But I think it's about
The era that
Is Kirk and people
Okay so the new movie stuff
Maybe that's what I'm asking
That would probably be it
That's what I'm asking
Because that's the movie stuff
Okay
Because I'd love to see
A fucking full-length feature film
About the fucking mirror universe
Where everyone's got evil mustaches
Either way Tarantino's doing something
It's just whether or not
It's continuing the
You know
I mean you want to talk
Star Trek continuity with me
You get fucking Eli
On this fucking voice chat
Here we fucking go
Because there's already
Serious fucking continuity problems
Just asking
They're talking about data
Being fucking dead
But in the comic that leads
Into the feature film
Data is the captain of the enterprise
Because they already fixed him
With B-Force Memories
So why would they be talking about
But
Ah it's fucking
Star Trek continuity man
It's so fucked up
You ever see parallels
That fucking
Episode ruined it
You see the new Red Letter Media
No
There's a moment in that
Red Letter Media that I retweeted
I put a time stamp
It speaks to my fucking soul
It's which
They're talking about some
Bullshit Kid movie
And
Rich Evan goes
You know
With all the kids running around
It's like that Star Trek episode
And Macaulay Culkin and Mike
Race to see who can get
The name of the episode first
Which is Rascals
At which point the non-star trek
Nerd asks them
Oh was
Was Q involved in turning them all
Into kids
And then you get a vertical cut
Of Mike, Macaulay Culkin and Rich
All simultaneously going
No it was the transporter
Okay
It burns in
Wally
My first question
Would 100% be
Was that Q shenanigans?
Did you do that?
Cause he's gone, right?
Yeah, no, it was the transporter
Accident
You want to talk timelines
We can move away from this
If you want
We can talk about other timelines
Like
Terminator timelines
Get the fuck out of my fucking face
Dark fate
Get the fuck out of my fucking face
Terminator
Produced by Cameron
I don't care
Starring Schwarzenegger
It's not directed by fucking Cameron
Directed by Deadpool Guy
Okay
Starring Schwarzenegger
Which one is this rewriting?
Starring Linda Hamilton
Oh is this one, yeah
And Edward Furlong
As John Connor
It is literally the closest thing
To Terminator 2
There has ever been
Is there a chance?
No
Is there a prayer?
No
Deadpool was good?
Was it?
Yes it was
Cameron Schwarzenegger
Hamilton and Furlong were good
Like you can't do
What else can you do
If you tried all of it
And now we're back to the actual cast
Of Terminator 2
Is Cameron directing?
No, then shut up
That's it
That's what you do
I mean did he write Terminator 2?
Yeah he wrote it out of his
I don't know
Like that's
Well you have to go back in time to the 80s
And make Terminator 3 in the 80s
Plague I can't show him the fucking clip
It's like 2 and a half minutes long
What Star Trek?
Yeah he wants to
I've moved on
No you haven't
I'm good
You can move on when me and Eli let you move on
You will be allowed to move on
Yeah
That show ended in like 96
And I still talk about it every day
So Avatar came out and said
Hey Marvel congrats on being the biggest shit ever
And then like it had like a picture of Tony Stark
Surrounded by the fucking things
The jellyfish things
And like whatever they were called
And they set a line in Avatar language
And I was like it was the
This is so fucking weird
Because I was like
You're making a reference to something
From so long ago
It's fucking
That no one gets it
It's so Hollywood incestuous
It's so bad
I fucking chortled dude
That moment
Let me pull this thing up
It's so nuts
That like you actually can't remember
Anything about Avatar
I can't remember anything about Avatar
And so this story just fucking means nothing
Because it's like
It's Avatar was how long ago
35 years ago
55 years ago
2012
I don't know
I legitimately don't remember
I've never seen a movie so many times
And remembered so little
You've seen it more than once
I've seen it three times
I've seen it once in the theaters
That was it
I saw it once in the theater
And I wanted to see it in the bigger IMAX 3D
And then I
Somebody was watching it
I watched it with them
At somebody's house
I remember nothing
I remember nothing
That is crazy to me
That you even saw it more than once
How is it like
It looked really good in IMAX
But you watched it flat?
Like how does that
No I couldn't get the tickets to the big IMAX thing
Like oh that's fine
I'll watch it in the regular 3D theater
And I'm in the 3D theater
I'm like oh this movie
I should have gotten the big IMAX thing
I should have waited
So yeah
There's this tweet from James Cameron
And it says congrats Marvel Studios
Oh from Avatar
From the Avatar account actually
Yeah from the Avatar itself
And yeah it says
Oelangati Kamei
I see you Marvel
Congrats on Avengers Endgame
Yadda yadda yadda
Go fuck your own ass
How about that
And I'm just like
Was I see you a thing?
Yeah it was a thing
Is that what they said to each other?
Yeah it was a thing
God
Fuck has Avatar exited
My entire consciousness
That's fine
It is like not even trace
Do you remember the people in like blue depression
I mean like I'll never get to go
Yeah post Avatar depression
Yeah that was weird
No no no no not Avatar
It was the planet post Pandora
Yeah
Post Pandora depression
That's correct
Holy shit man
Anyway Terminator
With all the olds
Still no chance nothing
No
I mean there is these
Shots of Linda Hamilton
With the shades on
Looking super old
Oh she's so cool man
She looks really cool
Little half until it's so cool
Old lady with the fucking armor
Looking all badass
Looks really cool
Old ladies are great
That's why I want it
I know I know
But so then why
Cause it's gonna suck ass
But she's old and cool
Holy think of how many fucking
Awful Terminator movies you have seen
And how many good ones
Look how old and cool she is
I know I saw
You had to show it to me
I know
She's just old Meryl now
Yes
She's boss
She's Meryl
She's all of it
She's Meryl and Snake's daughter
From 70 years from now
She's fucking tired
Okay
She's always tired
Have you discovered
Like in your adult life
That like your favorite thing
About any character ever
Is their level of tiredness
It's the best
It's half
It is universally beloved by me
It's the most relatable trait
Cause fuck a character
Who's cooler than you
Who's ganky and spunky
And wants to get out there
And be like I'm gonna take on the world
Or even quick-witted
And you're just like
You always got a great fall
I mean yeah Tony Stark's fun to listen to
But Tony Stark's better when he's tired
Remember when
You know when he's talking to the Guardians of Galaxy
In fucking
The fucking Avenger movie
And they're idiots
And he just stares off
For like 10 seconds
That's the best part of the movie
Cause he's tired
Yeah I rewatched that part
Where like they have the Mexican standoff
Where like he's going like
Where they just
They all don't know what's going on
And they're trying to figure it out
And it's really
It's really strong
It's really good
Because yeah
Tired
I don't
Tired go up
This is my day off from avenging
Danny Glover
Started it
He really did
He really did
Danny Glover started it
Wasn't tired
He was too old
But when you're old
You're tired
Same thing
Post Malone sent it home
That's the new era
Tattoo
Always tired
That's a great tattoo
Hey
I think face tattoos are fucking a bad idea
That one's pretty good
That's what we landed on
Cause it's only going to become more accurate over time
It's great
It's great
How are you feeling man?
I want
I want to believe
I want to believe that old grizzled Linda
Yeah
I hope
I want to believe her tiredness
Can outshine everything else in this movie
Because Arnold is not allowed to get tired
Cause he's a robot
But he's obviously
Much older
Tired
Although actually you know I don't think he is
He got drop kicked and didn't notice
You saw that?
I did
Some asshole drop kicked him
And he thought somebody bumped into him
He no-selled it
And it's like dude you're like 85
How are you this tough?
Okay so our plan to
Glaze failed
Yeah I know
So I did a podcast coffee with Clems
Check it out this week
And I'm like how long does your podcast usually go Clems?
He's like I don't know an hour and a half
I'm like okay
So we did like two hours and didn't even get to talk
About half the things we wanted to talk about
I had the opposite
Cause I was on level clear this weekend
Yeah I saw you Nick retweetin it
Started at one something
And by 5.30
I was starting
Yeah
Starting to wrap up
But what I'm trying to say Woolies
We're chatty boys
We chat
We're chatty cathies if you would
MCU Phase 4
Okay so they're gonna put out some comic book movies
And some of them might be good
Alright so we're done with that news
So there's the moment by moment
You know that Joe Blow did on it and what not
And that's all fine and dandy
But here's what you need to know
The final list
When I saw that
It really made me think
That this could not have possibly been
The initial plan
Nope
Alright
This looks like a temp phase
So
First things first
Infinity Saga
Yay
It's done
Eternals
What do we know about the Eternals
I know that Angelina Jolie and Selma Hayek
Are gonna be in it
There's that
And that's gonna be okay by me
What do I know about the Eternals
I know nothing
I know shit all about the Eternals
I know three things about the Eternals
Okay
Three things
I know that the Celestials made them
And those are the big cool space gods
In the Marvel Universe
Got it
But not the same as like
Eternity and all that stuff
That's another tier for space gods
These are the big crazy ones
With the cool textures
Looks like the same style as being
Not the same but yes
Celestials made the Eternals
And Thanos is one of them
And
Ego is one of them
Oh okay
And that's it
It's a big deal gang
That's it
Big deal gang
That's all I got
Okay that's fine
Angelina Jolie is a big deal
In space
There we go
Space Marvel happening
Hard and full
Got it
Yeah
Multiple full on space movies
It's surprising that like
Despite having that initial Guardians of the Galaxy
Who the fuck cares about these guys thing
And now everyone cares
Yeah
I see Eternals and I go
Who the fuck cares about the Eternals
Don't you are
But it's good
But it's good
Because new phase should be
New things
This is a lot of weirdos in this list
But not enough
Well
There's always not enough weirdos
So Eternals cool
Great
That's coming out
That's a movie
Next
Next
Falcon and Winter Soldier
It's a pretty
Straight up name
Yeah
Pretty dead on name
For what you're getting
Yeah
And
They
Like
I guess they couldn't call it
Like
Captain America and Winter Soldier
Cause you know
That would have been
Yeah
Yeah
And
What would have been fun is if they called it
Captain America and Captain America
Yeah
Cause that would also have been fun
And in the comics
They both took the shield up
At a point in time
And there's arguments about that
So that'd be fun
But
Either way that's happening
And
Is that a TV show?
That's a Disney plus TV show
That's a TV show
So here you go
TV show
About the spin off of the things you like
Now Kevin Feige said
This is about new beginnings
And new things
And it's like
Here we go
Okay spin off one about the stuff
Great TV show
Two
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Can't believe this happened
I have no idea
No nothing about it
I know one thing
I know one thing about it
Is the Ten Rings have to do with the real Mandarin
Oh
Okay no that's not
What I know about it
What's the one thing about it
What was that about
So in the original Iron Man
There's a terrorist group that shows up
Yeah the fake Mandarin
That has
No no
In Iron Man 1
There's a terrorist group that never gets dealt with
That has the insignia of Ten Rings
And then in Iron Man 3
There's the fake Mandarin
Yes
But
They have talked about
In fucking interviews
That there is totally a real Mandarin
They are going to do real Mandarin
At some point in the future
We just ignored that plotline
From Iron Man 1
No
They didn't ignore it
It was foreshadowed
For 22 movies
That's right
Foreshadowed
Shang-Chi
Was basically
Willed into existence
By
The guy who was playing him
Who's name I forget
However
He basically tweeted and went Marvel
When we got Asian superheroes
Are you fucking for real
And then he had hashtag Shang-Chi
And then
Like
Yeah
And that was like
Like whatever a while ago
Yeah
And now he walks out on stage
And he's like
Yeah I'm doing it
What's his dude's name
Um
God
What is his name
Fuck
What's his dude's name gang
Liu
Big silence while we wait
Simu Liu
Simu Liu
Okay
Simu Liu
So
Good for you man
So then yesterday
He quotes that tweet
And goes
Hey Marvel thanks for getting back to me
So he just tweeted it into existence
Okay so he just made it real
Made it real
Okay
Out of nowhere
Like that done
Okay
Shang-Chi
Is that what the movie's going to be about
Yep
I made this movie real
He can make copies of himself
Oh that's cool
That's a cool fighting ability
For a martial artist
Yeah
And maybe without the trauma
Of multiple man
Cause multiple man
That's a bad time
He retains all their memories right
Yep
I told you what happened
I don't remember
Multiple man splits
Yeah
And at some point
They literally go off
And live their own lives
And have their own personalities
And separate from each other
For long ass periods of time
To the point where one gets married
Has a child
And when the mother hands the child
To the multiple man
The baby just absorbs back into him
Because he is a multiple
He is not real
That is not real
None of it is real
Oh that explains that character's backstory
In hero academia
And then
That multiple man
Multiple
That copy
Has to go back into
The re-original as everyone does
And he gets all of these individual memories
Of them in their own lives
Coming together as one
It's fucked
That seems like a terrible power now
Not great
Not great
So yeah
Let's ask Eli
Hey Eli does TN have this same problem
What's up with TN's shit
And all that
That is the most interesting thing
I've ever heard about the character
It's really bad
Horrifying
But that's good writing
On an otherwise
It's a guy in tights
That makes copies of himself
Put that in the hands of someone
Who's got a good idea
And you get that shit out of it
And that's the difference between
That's what I'm trying to say
A good writer will do that
With a character that's otherwise worthless
Anyway
WandaVision
Which takes place after Endgame
Yeah
And it's in the 50s
So
All hard bets are
That we're going to find out
What her powers actually do
And that she's probably going to pull a little house of them
And make a little pocket world for herself
Well also
Is that before or after Strange
I don't know
Because Doctor Strange
And the multiverse of madness
We'll get there
WandaVision
Wanda and Vision
But WandaVision because it's old
It's like TV
I think so
There's also like
There's set shots
I think it was that there's shots from the set
That look like they're old-timey
Paul Bettany wants to be
A character again
Yeah
I think they're
I think they're making
I think they're making her have her own pocket
Somebody in the chat said
I guess it's a spoiler
But Vision's fucking dead
When has that stopped
Comic books, my friend
Yeah
So
What exactly
Why'd you stop scrolling
Don't do that
Hey
Fuck
Goddamn it
What are you doing
What's happening over there
So yeah
So then there's WandaVision
And
Oh there's the Loki TV series
And there's the Hawkeye
Yeah
All the font
All the letters are different fonts
Those both logos are terrible
But
You know who's not terrible
Who's that
Loki
Loki's not terrible
In fact he's great
He stole the show so hard
That he had to be killed
Multiple times
He stole the show so hard
That they had to start like fucking
Course correcting on his character
To make him more
Less evil
Because
You gotta keep him around
He's the best
He's the best
Power of Hiddleston
Yeah
It's good stuff
It's a real
Real face turn
From Neil before your gods
Humans
Probably
But will it work
In a TV budget with no one
Notable around him
In a supporting cast
Depends
I just want this to be
Quantum Leap
This is just
The concern is ultimately
That all of these characters
In a TV show budget
Without any other
Supporting cast
Of the same quality
I imagine some are gonna sink
And some are gonna swim
Maybe
I hear good things about
Legion and whatnot
You know and so on
But that's Fox I know
But regardless
Yeah
Whatever
TV
You wanna talk about
Weird ass timing
You wanna talk about
The fucking Black Widow movie
No
Cause next is
Doctor Strange
And the multi-versive madness
Okay
This is a title
That would be terrible
If not for the
Extremely loved
Crafty and feelings
You get from that title
That is
They know
That is the intent
Yes
That furthermore
When we
When they talked about
What it's gonna be
That was interesting
Cause they said
Like every MCU movie
You know Doctor Strange was funny
And so we don't wanna
Lose that part of things
Because
But it's also part of the formula
Now in a way
But this is gonna be
The first MCU movie
That's also
Horror
Yeah
And apparently
This is going to
Kick off and introduce
A crazy multi-verse concept
That
Will be a part of this face
The
So
They
There are a bunch of things
That we'll get to later
But so we don't have time
To talk about them
And just mention to ten movies
That they're making
Right
The multi-verse of madness
Movie with Doctor Strange
First of all
Yeah, if you're gonna do
Multi-verse thing
Have the wizard
Right
But like
Oh, this answers
Every single question
You could ever have
About all the
Converging media brands
Under Disney
How do the X
Oh
It's a multi-verse
How do the dead
Oh
Oh, right
Right, it's a multi-verse
I mean
Endgame already introduced
The concept
Yeah
And apparently
Spider-Man also does
As well to some degree
And
Don't
Then let's not forget
That there is now
Literally a Netflix verse
Which is separate
From
The agents of
Shieldverse
Which Coulson
Walked out of one
And into the other
Yeah, he's
He can do that
Anyway
So that happened
Then we got What If
Which is really cool
Literally just called
What If
Didn't expect that
That's fun
I read so many What If comics
As a kid
Yeah
I got really into What If
And
What do you want this to be?
Well
It sounds like
What it is
Is what it's gonna be
Spider-Verse
Except Marvel's version
Yeah
Because they realized
With Spider-Verse that like
Hey
Hey, that was pretty good
You can do that
That was fun
We can have a lot of fun with that
And you know who's really cool?
Bernard from Westworld
Season one
AKA the only season
He's cool
Yep
Bernard from Westworld is good
Oh, what's he doing in there?
Jeffrey Wright is playing
The voice of the Watcher
Oh
Cool
Oh, that's good
Yeah
That's good
Yeah
So
Stanley was credited as Uatu
Yeah
And was in the
I'm rehashing so much of the conversation
I had from the podcast yesterday actually
I'm realizing
But anyway
Stanley was credited as Uatu
Talking to the other Watchers
In Guardians of the Galaxy
Yeah
So we can take that for what it is
With them nodding to him possibly
Being a Watcher
By showing up in all these places
But
Jeffrey Wright
Is the actual Watcher
Who is going to
Who introduces every What If comic
And says
What if this were to happen over here
And then you go into those stories
And now we can have so much fun
Because you can do anything
With all these characters
That you're too scared to do in the movies
No stakes
And
They're all being voiced
By their proper
Real-life counterparts
So
Basically
Is it a TV show?
Is it a movie?
An animated series
Okay, because yeah
But this makes sense
Yeah
Because this is now
Episodic
And it's going to be all sorts of stupid shit
Yeah
Which is basically where
Was it a JLA
Ended up
I think
Where like
The animated
Justice League
Was like a bunch of just
Disconnected stories
What not
So you can just jump around like this
You know
That's really really cool
But yep
That's the TV thing
And then there's Hawkeye
So
Once again
TV show
Once again
Spinoff of the character from the thing
You know
But it's not the big three
So yadda yadda yadda
Uh
Sure
Okay
Kate Bishops in it
One piece of one thing
I really enjoy about this
It's the logo
From the Matt Fraction
Hawkeye book
Which is really really good
Because it's
That's a fun adventure
With just
Is that the one with the dog
And he's like
Clinton with the dog
In the apartment
In New York
Just bumming around
Yeah okay I like that
Yeah
Um
So hopefully they take that tone
And it's not necessarily
The Ronin years
Even though the Ronin years
Would be really cool
Ronin years are done
We did them
We saw those
Yeah it doesn't need to
But Hawkeye
Thor, Love and Thunder
Although this is interesting
Very interesting
Because basically
Chris Hemsworth is in it
And Tessa Thompson is in it
That being Valkyrie's actress
Yes Valkyrie
And Thor
But neither of which
Are going to be actually Thor
Because it seems like
They're going the route of
The Mighty Thor
And the Mighty Thor
Is the new Thor
In the comics
Who's a girl
And
Thor becomes a title
As opposed to
The name of the person
Yeah
Because somebody picks up the hammer
They usually get all
The beefy
And then
Thor becomes the unworthy
And
So in this case
That person is going to be
None other than Natalie Portman
Who
Got that huge credit
At the end of Endgame
I remember
For a clip
That was
From a different movie
From a different movie
And who was in one and two
But then didn't come
It wasn't in the others
So I always pulled this
Idea out of my ass
But I felt the reason
Why Natalie Portman started to bail
On the Thor franchise
Was because she wanted
This storyline faster
So what I heard yesterday actually
I thought that she just didn't
Like the superhero thing
And didn't want to do it
Someone pointed out to me
Tough actually
From the level clear podcast
Pointed out that
Apparently the reason why she walked away
Is because they had an original direct
They're originally
They had a director
That she supported
That was a girl
That got fired
For I guess reasons that
Weren't clear
And she was really upset about that
Basically
And didn't
Cause this would have made a lot
This would have had a lot more
Kick to it
If Natalie Portman had
Actually stuck around
For more of this stuff
And been set up more
But I think
Like the feeling of her
Not wanting to be involved
After that controversy happened
Like her getting that credit at the end
For the recycled scene
Means this was on paper
Oh absolutely
Before Endgame
Just signed and dotted
And so that's why she's like
Yeah okay I'm back in
You know
Like her returning to the fold
100%
Comes in
With her getting the hammer on stage here
So it's still Taika Wattiti
So Love and Thunder
So it'll be fine
So it'll be fine
They also made sure to point out
That
I think Valkyrie
And this is gonna be the big gay
Yep
First
Yep
And I'm like
Really that's the first
If you
That's not
If you don't count
The
Russo
Brother that
Played the guy at the
Meeting
In
Infinity War
Cause there's a meeting
Where they talk about the blip
That is
No
That meant superhero
It's gonna be the first
Superhero
Marvel superhero
Yes
And so she's the new
King of Asgard right
Of course
And so
Yeah so there's her
There's
I forgot
Natalie Portman's character's name
But
Jane
Yeah
Jane
Something
So she's gonna be back
And then there's going to be
Uh
Did I see that
Um
Gollblum was
Gollblum's on the list as well
He is?
Gollblum's on the list
So he's around too
Yay
Big yay
I love Jeff Gollblum so much
Doesn't
Everyone does
He's the best
Jane Foster
Big Gollblum
He's
That's real by the way
I listened to
There's an episode of Gollblum
Oh he's never
Sitting down with
Conan O'Brien
Doing an interview
On his podcast
And
He's not
Putting that on as a thing
It is 100% him
And they just
Make the role
More for him
So
This is a compliment
But it won't sound like one
But if you know
Jeff Gollblum
You'll understand
Jeff Gollblum is
The worst actor of all time
He is completely unable
To assume any role
Or character
Other than
Jeff Gollblum
However
Jeff Gollblum is
Jeff Gollblum
And that's okay
But doesn't that also define
All the best actors
Like Morgan Freeman
And Jack Nicholson
It's just
Infinite charisma
Just shooting out
And
Christopher Walken
Yeah
Like these are all people
That are an Al Pacino
Like you're a parody
Of yourself
To the point where
It's not about the role
It's about you
Existing in this universe
Yeah
So that's happening
And yeah
Love and Thunder
Sounds like
The way the logo looks
And the way that sounds
It's carrying on
The Ragnarok feeling
Goofy Space Adventures
Right, Ragnarok feeling
As opposed to
Thor 1, 2 feeling
Good
Yes
Because Thor's up to
The Goofy Space Adventures
So there's another Thor
That'll probably be
A portion of a Guardians movie as well
Yeah
He's hanging out
Yeah
Black Widow
Is
In a movie
Is it?
Well, Black Widow fights
That was that movie
Black Widow
Well, first of all
They released some
Shots of
The
Villain
They did not release those shots
It's a
Somebody on a set
Took those photos
No, no, no, no
There's a
Official promo piece
Oh
Of Black Widow
Fighting
Taskmaster
Maybe
Taskfuckingmaster
Coming in
So
Is there
Just like Cap
Best part
Of Spider-Man PS4
One of the best parts of Marvel 3
Taskmaster is awesome
And
Confirmed to be
The enemy that
Black Widow fights
So that's
Really, really cool
Really, really cool
Taskmaster's super cool
Taskmaster's the best
He's so good
Yeah
So when I saw
That was Taskmaster
I'm like, ooh
That's a comic book
Weirdo
Yeah
This might be
A girl in the armor
They're not sure
Because we don't know enough
About what's going on
But it cares
But either way
I studied your move, Sonya
Yeah
If it's the same
Fucking do
Like a power and ability
Like
I love it
I'd like for them to play up
The new thing about
Taskmaster
Which is the
Taskmaster's debilitating
Memory problems
Hmm
You see that?
No
So it's from one of the
Recent run of Taskmaster
In which he
Like somebody's like
Why are you bothering to be
A good guy
To his daughter
And he's like
And he explains that
His photographic reflexes
Are like a memory ability
But they mean that
His long-term memory
Is constantly being deleted
To make room for every
New thing
Like the thing I said
About fighting games
Yeah
Wow
But it's fast
It's like on a month-long
Basis
So he has like
Debilitating crippling
Memory problems
All the time
While he's learning
About how
While he's improving his fighting
Yeah
That's really interesting
I didn't know that
Because he's able to
Gain things instantly
But that means old stuff
Comes out instantly
It goes away
Okay
That's really fun
Huh
And also explains
Like why is he
Such an asshole
Oh because he literally
Doesn't remember
Anything
Ever
Even without that detail
Taskmaster's still awesome
Yeah, he's still great
Still fucking cool
Uh
So yeah, that's fun
Skeletons face, man
In a hood
He's not going to
Have a skeleton face
No, we saw the armor
We saw the art
I know
But it's a
Page was simultaneously
It's a healthy thing
Extremely excited
Extremely disappointed
All in one moment
Is that basically
Like
She's a Taskmaster fan now
It's Alzheimer's
She's got a
She's got a fucking t-shirt
Now
It's Alzheimer's as a superpower
Yeah
Uh
Yep
And then
The last thing they did
Was
On a final note
Kevin Feige comes out
And says
Just one last thing
We didn't have any time
To talk about
Black Panther 2
Yeah
Guardians 3
Yeah
Fantastic 4
What?
Marvel 2
Captain Marvel 2
Or
Mutants
And then everyone
But we have
One more person
Come out
Take the stage
And then
Cottonmouth walked out
Mahershala Ali
Walks out
And puts on a
You're like Luke Cage movie
Like
Dude
If you have to pick
A single human
Being on this planet
To pick up
Where Wesley Snipes left off
Yeah
Who the fuck
Else are you gonna pick
Right now
Right
That is the most
On-point cast
Like
It's the new Wesley
Yeah
It's the new Wesley
Straight up
So Blade is going to
You got the voice
It's going to happen
You got the voice
You got the attitude
Yep
That's Blade
Blade is coming back
Blade is
Blade coming in
Has so many
Exciting things
In my mind
Which is
You know how
Doctor Strange is like
Okay I don't have time
To go
Save New York or whatever
I got this universe
Thing going on
Blade coming in
And be like
Please there are so many
Vampires
Can you guys
Yeah
Can you
Please guys
Guys
Guys there are
So many vampires
Morbius is having
A blood orgy
As we speak
Like
Can I get an assist
On the vampire thing
Not my problem
Dude
Guys
It also means
And I've been browsing
Our old subreddit
Stuff
It also means
That this sets up
Moon Knight
Going to the moon
To
Beg Dracula
For his money back
Will it
Will this be PG-13 though?
Oh come on
Blade at anything
Less than R-rated
Is a travesty
That's what I'm
And Deadpool established
You can have R-rated movies
But that's what I'm afraid of
Right
What if they fuck that up
You know
That would be terrible
Yeah
So the problem
Is ultimately when
We look at this
List
Right
And you got the big old
Like
This is
Phase four
Bah
You look at the big picture
One
This spans
2020
To 2021
Yeah
The entire phase four
Is two years
Yeah
That is not the way
The previous phases went
It's also
A holding pattern
It's all introduction
Or
What if
Or alternate
Or
More than half of these
Are TV shows
Yeah
Right
The previous phases
Were all six
Movies a piece
And then the third phase
Was more than six
But
Looking at this list
It's like
You got the Eternals
Which is new shit
You got Shang-Chi
Which is new shit
And then
Oh yeah
Well there's Blade
Right
But like
That's not part of
What they're saying
Is this phase
You know
Like that's all
Yeah
Right
So the way he talked about
All of this stuff
It makes me think
They had a plan
For a longer more
Normal looking phase four
Yes
Then
The fucking Disney deal
Happened
And they
Reacquired everything
They ever had
And they took the table
And emptied it
The fuck
Onto the floor
All of a sudden
Got all
All the X-Men
And Dr.
Dr.
Doomback
The whole game
Planned
Apparently Fantastic Four
Exists as well
But what
The whole game
Planned went
Right in the trash
And then they went
Phase four is now
A micro phase
It's a mini two year thing
And it's all about
And then five is where
We get
The things you were expecting
Like
Cause people were saying
For a while
Phase four better be mutants
No
Phase four
Sets the metaphysical boundaries
To explain why
Wolverine can just
Walk into a store
Right
Well
Is it
I mean
You know what I mean
I know what you mean
But like
New cast
Right
You know what
You know what
I want to happen
Desperately
Huge
X-Men
Multiverse stuff
You know how
They're gonna set up
Multiverse stuff
I want
I was talking
With some people
Last night
We were all giggling about it
I want
For the new
Avengers
Whatever
And for
Ryan Reynolds
In the suit
To just
Walk
Into a shot
With a
Detective
Pikachu
T-Shirt
On
And go
Hey guys
And they go
Oh hey
Hey
And I want it to be
A totally static
Flat shot
Like it's weird looking
And then the movie
To continue as normal
And Deadpool's there now
Should Wolverine
Be a short Canadian
In yellow tights
Yes
In yellow tights
Yes
Okay
The time has come
So
When I look at this list
Right
And you see it
Like he goes
It's all about the new
Beginnings and whatnot
And it's like
No this is all about
Continuing
Three characters
What I would
Much rather
Because what I wanted
The proper
New phase to actually be
What I was hoping for
Is more
Shit like
Eternals
And Shang-Chi
Where it's just like
Hey
Yo
Guess what
Moon night
Guess what
A lot of sad people
That know Moon night
Guess what
She-Hulk
Yeah
That's a character
You can do a thing on
Right
Doctor Doom's probably
Gonna matter
And show up somewhere
Gonna be the big
Phase 5 man
Maybe
Might even
Might even get
Strange Doom going on
And we can get them
Going to hell
And doing the fun shit
Hidden missiles
But
Like
Moon night could be
You could take away
One of these TV shows
And put a Moon night logo
There
You could
You could take away
One of these
And put a
She-Hulk logo there
You could take away
One of these
And put a
Nova logo there
Right
Nova song
Nova's cool
And pull out
A lot of new names
They gotta keep
Making these movies
For 40 years
But
When you're old
You can get
Your Moon night movie
Yeah
It's just
Like
I think
A lot of these
Like
Like
Jeremy Renner gets
His own show
And then
Scarlett gets
Her own show
And so on
And so forth
They get
Like a big
Sort of
Side payoff
But it would be
I would like it
Almost
I would not mind
If we would get
To look at
Some people
Returning sometimes
But spending more time
With some of these
New
Characters that
You can establish
You know
So that's the one thing
Is I wish
I wish it wasn't
So familiar
Of a list
Yeah, well
It will be for this batch
Yeah
Power man
Yeah
They're gonna
They're gonna slide over
But it's gonna be
A slower slide
Than you and I want
I mean
MCU Luke Cage
An existing
Marvel
Character
As a different
Marvel character
Is probably the weirdest
Thing about all this
Michael B. Jordan
Was he in
He was
He was
Human torch
In the new
Ah, but that was
Different
That was different
Oh, but
So was the other
Human torch
Actually
Come to think of it
Both human
Torches became
Different characters
Yes, Chris
Both of them
Okay
That's weird
Punisher war zone
You know
He's
He's the dude
From Asgard
From Thor
Yeah, you're
I know it
Who are you talking about?
I'm talking
Okay, after
After Thomas Jane
The second Punisher was
I don't know some guy
I'm terrible
With fucking names
So I can't do this
On the spot
Whatever
Punished man
He's Volstag
In
In Thor
Who's Volstag?
One of the knights
Of Asgard
Oh, yeah
Ray Stevenson
Who cares about those people?
The point remains
You want to talk about
MCU faces
That are the same
Yeah, but this was an
MCU character
Becoming a different
MCU character
None of those old things
Were MCU films
They just wrote out
The TV universe, I guess
With this
That never happened
Anyway
Well, is this MCU, though?
Is Netflix MCU?
Yes, it is
No
No, it's not
So then your sentence fails
No
I said that those old things
Oh, yeah
Ah
Ah
You're right
Yeah, Coughmouth didn't exist
Done
Luke Cage never happened
Nope
Jessica Jones never got wasted
Not
When they just said
Big green guys
They literally just meant
Big green guys
We got a fucking
Purple Man back then
Because Purple Man's a shit
David's at school
He's so cool
Yeah, man
Let's get some more
Let's get some more new freaks
In this
Imagine a purple man
Walking into an Avengers movie
And go fight each other
It's like, okay
It's the end of the movie
Everybody died
We need some more freaks
We need some more weird pics
Freak pics
Get them out there
Who not?
It's not a freak pic
He's just some dude
He's not
We don't need all these
We don't need all these
Follow-up TV shows
But Disney Plus
Really wants your Netflix money
They really, really
Want your Netflix money
The more they split these
Shows, amongst other things
The less anyone's
Going to get any Netflix money
And we're probably
Going to get like secret war
At some point, you know
But
Holy shit
That'd be the dumbest
I'll watch it
Yeah, the problem
With all these services
Is now
The problem that
Netflix came along
And it's kind of solved
Is being recreated
By TV channels
That don't understand
That this is the reason
Why it failed to begin with
TV died
Because people had to
Go all these different places
And spent all this extra money
It was inconvenient
But hey
By all means
Come along and create
A whole new
Fucking
Set of channels
People have to individually
Subscribe to monthly
I'm sure they won't
Be able to find
Any new
More convenient option
Everyone will love
That they have to subscribe
To Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime
NBC, ABC
And now Disney Plus
I'm sure you forgot like five
I can't think of any
But I'm sure you did
At six to thirteen dollars a month
Individually
Even though you only
Want to watch one show on them
Like I throw names out there
Like the runaways
And then someone reminds me
Like oh yeah
That show did happen
It was exclusive to
Some bullshit
That you're never gonna watch
Fucking whatever
Yeah, so
Anyway
Emails
And let's get out of here
Hey emails
Hey if you want to send an email
Send it to castasuperbeast
At gmail.com
That's castasuperbeast
At gmail.com
Well what do we got
Emails wise this week
You got anything cool?
Yeah we do
I'm so hungry
And I don't have much time to eat
I gotta get the fuck out of here
Yeah I'm starving as well
I'm very hungry
So let's
I'm gonna eat my own arm
That reminds me
You um
Somebody recently told me
That there was a
Troll naming convention
In some fantasy universe
In which the troll is named
Runescape
In Runescape
Trolls are named after the thing
They try to eat first
And there's a super tough troll
That you have to fight
Called dad
That's fun
That's cool
I like that
I like fun naming conventions
Yeah
I got one coming in from
Nick
He says
Dear Castle subpar beats
Four years ago
On the old podcast
I jokingly sent an email
Calling out woolly for
Hating breakfast
Speaking of eating things
Yeah
Which
Woolly said
He's cool with everything except eggs
Two years later
I have developed an egg intolerance
Now eating them
Makes me feel nauseated
Up to
Up to three hours
Despite trying multiple types
Of egg seasonings
And cooking methods
I spent a lot of time
I refuse to say how much
Not only
This I started thinking
Intermittent and fasting
And no longer
Eat breakfast either
So
This email is me
Calling myself out
For calling out woolly
For being a breakfast hater
Four years ago
Because now I can't even eat breakfast
Even though I want to
Yeah that shit happens
And guess what
Childhood associations
With something that makes you sick
Or gross
Is all it takes for you
To hate that thing for life
If you put an orange bucket
In front of me
I'm probably going to throw up
An orange bucket
That's right
If you were to place
An orange bucket
On the floor next to me
I might vomit
Was that your bucket?
That was the bucket
The sick bucket
That you threw up into
Whenever you got sick
It was the same bucket
From two to 18
There you go
Okay
Yeah
Just seeing it
Like
And at a certain point
Your mom realizes
Like oh
He looks sick
He'd probably feel better
If he threw up
Just take the bucket out
And just
Oh
Now I'm going to be sick
Rotten egg salad
Yeah that'll do it
For life
That'll do it
For life
Yeah
We got one coming in
From Lauren
Says hey castle super beast
Is there
Hey castle super beast
Where there's no castle
And I see no beasts
Long time fans
I'm the beast
I thought it was revolutionary
Shit
What is your opinion on games
That use a single type of currency
A currency is not only used
For purchasing items
But has other functions as well
Pat you recently streamed
The Sicking City on Twitch
Hashtag on brand
And
Bullets are money
Yeah you use bullets
To kill things
And in addition
A bartering currency
You can shoot the thing
Or buy the thing
Souls games
Have souls as currency
Where you buy items and gear
This is
And also level up
This is also done
In older DMC games
Orbs
But moves permanent power ups
And temporarily
Item can temporarily
Help you now
So
Can you think of other games
That use this system
Metro is the number one
With a bullet
Yeah
Metro has
Military grade bullets
That you use as currency
Which are way
Way, way, way, way
Stronger
Than regular bullets
It's interesting because
At the end
It's all just a surface level
Feeling
That doesn't actually
Like
You'll get the thing
At the time
That the game wants you
To get the thing
So whether or not
That's too expensive
But you get enough money
When you beat that boss
Yeah
Or the boss drops it
Or
It's an item you pick up
On the way to
That boss
Like
You're gonna get it
Around the time the game
Thinks you should get it
Should you choose
In some cases
But like
We're playing Sekiro
And like
I noticed the thing about how
Every time you have to
Every time you want to move up
On the new abilities list
It takes multiple levels
Right
To spend all these levels
And it feels worse
Than if you just
Had to do it once
Yeah
So if you made that bar
Take longer to fill
But then you get one
And you can spend that point
To move up one on that chart
It would feel way better
Than having to
Full up that bar six times
Yeah
To move up once
Right
It is a feeling thing
That you're presenting it
In a different way
So that sucks
I think using currency
For stuff like that
I think it's
It's great in Metro
Because it's so well integrated
Into the game's
Like universe
It makes perfect sense
I think for every other
Situation ever
Including Metro
I know it's going to be confusing
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
All it is
And pretty much everybody
I've ever talked to
That plays games like this
Nobody uses Giltoss
Yeah
You're throwing money
On the fucking floor
Why would you do that
Well it kills the boss
Yeah but the money though
It just ends up
Like causing people
To hoard these items
Because of their currency
Unless there's a really
Really good payoff
For doing it
Unless it's overpowered
Dr. Faust
Gives you more money
For doing it
Yeah
Right
I know
Mentally you can't
I know
But
That's a wasted weapon slot
It's not
It is
It's a way to make a lot of money
They knew people were crazy
They unlocked
They decided to make
They gave you extra slots
For your weapons
When you beat the game
Fuck off
No I mean they could have
Made a weapon that
Everyone could use
Well everyone can use that one
No
You stop it
That's a lie
Get good make money
Get good make money
It's all positive
It has to use money to use it
It's all positive
No it's not
But you make back more
But you're still losing it to use it
No but then you make back more
But that doesn't matter
You're still lost in the first place
But you know the outcome
But the number went down
But then it went up
But it went down
But you know the outcome
I don't care
I don't care it went down
You will always make more
Did you have to spend money
To eat food this morning
No because I haven't
Eat anything
I'm super hungry
Did you have to spend money
To stay alive
Yeah
Did you have to spend money
To get here
Yeah I did
Okay is that money
Now working towards
Is it going down
Yeah but that implies
There are places
That I could eat
For fucking free
Every day
And if there were
I would
You get options
You can't eat for free
In Devil May Cry
Or you can
Take the big risk
And get the big reward
But yeah but your analogy
Sucks
If there was a fucking
Caviteeria I could go to
Just eat for free
Every single fucking day
You got to spend money
To make money Pat
That's what I'm trying to say
You got to spend money
To make money
There's a reason
Why that saying exists
Number goes down
You spend the money
You make the money
Number go down
I'm not going to
Approve of
And push
The idea that
Your mind goblins
Should affect game designs
Fuck you
Dr. Faust is great
Other people have
Their own mind goblins
And this is a common
Mind goblins
The number goes down
And then it comes back
So much higher
But I hate the
Temporary down
It went down
You just roll your eyes
You'll find
We'll find a mind goblin
For you
How do you deal with any
Games where you get a
Huge damage buff
By dropping your life to zero
Life to zero
Or to one
That's
I mean that depends
Like in Demon's Souls
It's crazy good
Like
That shit is always
Really great
Where you just
Become a glass can
Yeah that's very good
How do you deal with that
You just do it
If you want to
But you're not
Talked off
Currency
Anyway
We talked about the
Problem with the powers
Topping off in
Dishonored
As an issue
Because it never goes back
To completion
Yeah cause that's a currency
It's not a life bar
Life bar is a life bar
Wasn't it a magic bar
Yeah it was a magic bar
Yeah it's not it
That's a resource
Okay
It's clearly
Totally different
Even if at the end
Of every encounter
You will be in the
Positive
You'll be in the black
That's correct
Okay
From Charlie
Castle Super Beast
Four years ago
I talked about these
Unreleased games
And I made you
Choose one
Cancel
Choose one to delay
And at least
Two years to magically
Release one
Suddenly ready and finished
Alright what do we got
Release now
Delay for years
Or cancel
Back then
It was Death Stranding
Cyberpunk 2077
Excuse me
It was
Last Guardian
Beyond Good and Evil
And Half-Life 3
Your answers were
Cancel
Last Guardian
Release Half-Life 3
Delay beyond
Good and Evil 2
Wow I got
My answers were
Release the Last Guardian
Wait no you didn't
What
That was sarcasm
That was sarcasm
Okay my answers were
It was the opposite of
What I wanted
My answers were
Release the Last Guardian
Delay beyond Good and Evil
And Cancel Half-Life 3
Hey
Only one
Fuck you
So we have a new game
Today I want you to do
The same but with a devious twist
One
Release now
Two
Delay for years
Three
Cancel
Four
Epic snagged it
PC exclusive
Okay
Timed for one year
Alright
Then it'll be out on normal platforms
Alright what do we got
What are the four games
Death Stranding
Okay
Cyberpunk
Hollow Knight Silk Song
Last of Us Part 2
Okay Last of Us Part 2
Cancel it
Yep
Silk Song
Make it Epic Exclusive
Death Stranding
Delay
Death Stranding
Release it right now
And Cyberpunk Delay
I say Delay Silk Song for years
I say
Cancel
Last of Us
That ending was fine
I'm okay with that
Everybody agrees with Cancel Last of Us
Yep
I don't even know why it's on this list
As if it's in this calendar
Yeah it's to help
It's to help make the other choices easier
Then I would say
Release
God
Which one
You see the thing release
Like Death Stranding becomes
Epic store exclusive
Kind of makes no sense
Neither does Cyberpunk
Yeah
They're both owned by publishers
Yeah
But if I had to
I would say
I release
God
Cause here's the thing
If I say Death Stranding
It's an Epic store exclusive
Does that mean I get to play Death Stranding
On the PC
Yeah
Cause that's a win
Yeah
Overall
And then Cyberpunk comes out now normally
Yeah
I'll take that
Release Cyberpunk
Epic Exclusive Death Stranding
Silk song delayed
Sing song delayed
Cause we
Yeah
Really Cyberpunk right now
Put Death Stranding on the Epic game store
So I can get a PC version of Death Stranding
That'd be really good
That's a win overall
And if anyone is mad about the silk song
Here's my thought
You just got a whole lot of Hollow Knight already
Yeah there's a lot of Hollow Knight
You're good
We can wait
Your time on silk song
These other things are new
Last of Us
Whatever
Whatever
That game's gonna be good
But yeah I don't really care
Yeah
Compared to those three
Fuck that
That's fine
We have consensus
Yeah
See
We tricked you
With the
We loop-hold your question
Uh
We got one coming in from
Um
Kenneth who says
Uh
Dear Green and Red
What are your favorite
Back of blocks
Black of blocks
Burbs
Wow
Now that you're older and more experienced
Can you spot them
As huge bullshit lies are
Caused for concern
We all know blast processing
Was a bullshit term
By Sega Marketing Guy
And
Certain games try to call
Their 30 FPS
Game
Frame rate
Cinematic
More cinematic
Than
60 FPS
Um
I would always worry about games
That advertise the amount of levels
On the back
That was always a fucking
Mmm
Mmm
I
I always used to be a sucker
For playing for characters
The amount of playable characters
That's the thing
Cause that's always
That's like
Oh game variety
You know
But
Uh
Yeah I never used to really
Read back a box
It was all about the bullshot
The bullshot's our hours
The bullshot
Shit was crazy
Yeah
Or looking in the back of boxes
And just being
Like that's not real
It's just not real
Uh
Hey Super Beast
Garrett from Alabama here
Your recent talks about
Ava had me thinking about
The creator of Gundam
Tomino
And his disdain for gunplot
And other Gundam merchandise
What
He said before that
He acknowledges the popularity
Boost and the cultural effect
The toys had
But
At the end of the day
He feels less people
Think about the anti-war message
And more about the awesome designs
From the franchises war machines
What are your thoughts on creator intent
Over shadowing
The different parts of the media
Like Gundam
You made cool robots
You can't hate on people
For liking the cool robot parts
I understand that the anti-war message
Is incredibly important
It's very similar to how people
Will play through the Metal Gear games
And be like
Oh my god
Snake
So I want to buy a snake action figure
But then you're like
Well what about the system
For societal sanity
And the context
And creation of the internet
And they're like
The what now
You mean the part where the camel went nuts
And you're like
Oh
If it doesn't interfere
With the creation of the work
Like if there's not
A toy editor coming in and saying
Hey mainframe
You better kill off that fucking
Air
Tigatron air razor thing
Because that toy's not coming out
And
We're not selling anything
On this character
So that better fucking go
Like a Hasbro motherfucker
Then yeah
Fuck that
If you're coming in
And what's happening in the show
Because you want to sell toys
And that way
That's horse shit
That's garbage
Well I did that in Gundam original
The colors and so on and so forth
Yeah
I don't like that part of things
But if
The thing is as is
Untouched
And then merch comes out afterwards
It's fine
But there is obviously a weirdness to like
I don't know if you're fucking
If you're like
I'm getting to Akari
And I need a close shave
A patchy fan
Right
The journey patchy slot game
You know
Like there's a weirdness to that
That you can cross
Like Evangelion was really
Obviously not influenced by merchandise
In its air
Airing
Yeah
Only to become like
The dominant
Merch force for a decade
This is saliently popular
And like now
Like there's a merch
I'm gonna call it like a merch universe
In which everyone's happy
And nice to each other
And it's like
It's baffling
It couldn't be
Less about the thing
It's supposed to be about
Yeah
And I'd say that merchiverse
Went on to make its own books
And
Movies
Worlds
That are like
Happy
Yeah
And yay
That's weird
But anyway
And let's take one from
Russian name that I cannot pronounce
Good, that's a good one
Called Toxicity
Hey Toxic
What up?
His name's not Toxicity
The subject of the email is Toxicity
What's up Toxic Russian Man?
Toxic Russian Man says
It's the best
Fuck you all for wanting to make games
Fucking bouncy houses
That's how you get fucking overwatch
And meta banning strats in Rainbow Siege
Okay
You're fucking super mad
Because you team killed somebody
In Rainbow Six, aren't you?
You're super fucking mad
I mean
The idea that somewhere out there
There's Russian gamers
That are thriving on Toxicity
Is a plausible
I'd say that's possible
A believable world
Absolutely
And God bless
Sikyamlet
Every time I see somebody
Freak shitting over that
If you dig one layer underneath
Just one layer underneath
It's always I got in trouble
For doing some bullshit
And now I'm mad
Every single time
Alright
So yeah, once again
You can pimp what you're doing this week
I'm streaming
Twitch.tv
Slash Angry's path
It's 8 o'clock on Tuesday and Friday
Eastern
It's gonna be video games
Yup
I've updated my schedule
For those who haven't caught on
But what I'm doing from now
Is the plan is to stream fighting games
Get into fighting games on Tuesday nights
Thursday nights
I stream one-offs
With Reggie and Min
And then Saturday nights
I stream a bigger game
Yeah, like a plot
A thing that has multiple parts
That's an extra day
What?
That's an extra day
I put it in an extra day
So like last Saturday
We did Sekiro
Before that was some of the
Those one-offs I mentioned exactly
And then of course
The LPs continue on the main
Unuprated
Thing
So that's just going down
Over at Willy Versus
And of course once again
Calm Bravo
Jojo Jeopardy
Come check it out
It's gonna be a good time
Okay, you gotta call it Jojo Jeopardy
You gotta call it Jojo Jeopardy
Both
The name of the event
Is going to be Jojo Jeopardy
On the schedule
Okay, so it's readable
But I will have a screen
With a proper Jojo Jeopardy
But I'm not sure if I should call it
Jojo Jeopardy
Or Geo Geo Porty
Awful
Awful decision you have to make
Big decision
Big pun time
I'm gonna go eat a food
You guys have a good rest of your Monday
Or Tuesday
Or whatever day it is
Never forget
Never forget that
As of episode 27
Of Castle Super Beast
We solved King Crimson
We solved...
Don't you mean Gold Experience?
Yes
Never forget, huh?
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