Castle Super Beast - CSB 056: The May 1918 Dabbings
Episode Date: February 18, 2020Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps The Sonic Movie, Sparda waking up to ass, and the right way to get Netflix Castlevania to the war of 1999. You can watch us record the podca...st live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Distance - Terminus For 20% off your first purchase, visit http://nativedeodorant.com and use promo code superbeast during checkout! It Seems A Playable Xbox Build Of StarCraft Ghost Has Leaked (Update) Quantic Dream announces self-publishing venture Devil May Cry 3 Special Edition for Switch adds ‘Bloody Palace’ local co-op 20XX co-op action platformer sequel 30XX announced for consoles, PC Netflix's animated Castlevania series returns for Season 3 in March Remedy confirms it has three games in the works, alongside this year's Control DLC Ultra-rare Nintendo PlayStation prototype up for auction BioWare confirms it's working on a "substantial reinvention" of Anthem TLOU2 Weapon Bench Animations
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Discussion (0)
music
music
music
hello
yeah
what's up
what's up with you
I think um
I think someone needs to
take
V's twitter away
I think the visions of V
turned out to be
you mean V the video game character
not V the person
yes
turned out to be hallucinations
of not real things
or at the very least
I don't think he understands
the power that he wields
because
I don't
I think that's probably
the most accurate
reading
this is the second story
within a month or two
so
Brian Hanford
the guy that plays
V in Devil May Cry 5
had a big
explosive tweet this weekend
that everybody
was definitely
freaking out over
which is something to the effect of
I'm really excited for that new
cap hashtag Capcom versus game
oh man there's going to be tons of new characters
maybe even somebody you know
didn't say anything like that
but said I'm really excited for the new
hashtag Capcom versus game
to which everyone went
well you're an official voice actor
on the Capcom franchise
Devil May Cry so
you plus twitter equals
announcements
and
you know how
we've seen a couple of these
go by
where
there has been
a
note by the way
I just want to point out
new characters
but could be very
familiar is the second part of his tweet
okay all right super raw
all right
I'm sorry
so
he tweets out
he tweets out that
and it reminds me of like
you know every other time
you've seen a celebrity
or a voice actor
like
accidentally say something in this way
except
you can just tell when it's like
that's not anything
that's not an accident
that's not a mistake
and reveal
that's just a problem
right like that's
a misunderstanding
there's this longstanding
history in particular
with Devil May Cry
where Ruben Langdon
and Daniel Southward
and
Johnny Young Bosch
just hang out at events
yes and be like
yeah
oh boy
sure I'm excited about project
oh I've been hanging out
with Ruben a lot lately
for sure for sure
so Dan Southworth
like putting his
Facebook profile thing
for the DMC5 logo
was what it was
right
then
and you know
Ruben just being like
hey check it out
who look who I'm hanging out with
for whatever
you know
don't worry about it
like yeah
that's when you know
something is happening
right
those are the types of
this wasn't that
this was like
hey guys
this was just a
new versus game
just straight up
like what no no
that's ridiculous right
so there was a fun bit about this
because everyone was going
crazy
and I took one look at this
and I went
that's not fucking real
that's super fake
we did a story about
Nitsuma leading the company
last week
literally seven days ago
so it makes
so like yeah
that's one of those bits
where it's like
like you know
you can
you can
you can jump on that
and take it at face value
but like
you know better
that's completely
that can't
like it's super fake
right
so not fake
but no one
knows better
so
in January
he was on a podcast
and
they were talking about like
Capcom versus games
and
Smash and things like that
and he kind of said
something to the effect of like
he's a huge fan
of like those games
and he's like man
it would be
such an honor
it'd be huge
to make it into
a versus Capcom game
or like Super Smash Brothers
which
and then he says
which is what Dante's going to be
yeah
and everyone was like
what the fuck
was that
did you just throw that out there?
yeah Dante's going to be
a smash character
and then
that would you know
and then obviously like
you know well
at least
the announcement came
that came around was certainly
not Dante
at this current time
at this current time
at this current juncture
but
that came out
a while ago
and was very weird
so
apparently
off of that
you know there's like
okay
he just kind of
spoke in a way
that was
he's talking about his
personal excitement
mm-hmm
wasn't an official
thing
but
still led to a bunch of confusion
this obviously feeds
into the fact that
if you want
to find out
Dante's secrets
about the video game business
go ask
actors
or voice actors
they'll tell you anything
they don't give a shit
I mean so whatever
we talked about the
the Veronica Mars thing before
we had
fucking guys see
he on the old podcast
spoil his own involvement
in a fucking game
that hadn't come out yet
right
so
you know
and like yeah
and I think in the context
of that random podcast
conversation it was
again like
not something
it's like in context
it seems to have been
more like
Dante would have been
the pick
not V
of course
and that
and for either
or of those games
not necessarily specified
or the other
or right
he was like
ball rolling
they'll put him in
in the
65 days
between me
saying this
and
and the game
have
DLC happen
and maybe that'll happen
modders
modders have
have turned
tighter deadlines around
maybe there's a
there's a moment
in his mind
where I'm like
if I do this
and then everyone
gets real excited
they'll make another
versus game
hey man
if they can get
duck goose
if they can get goose game
into
Dragon Ball Kakarot
in three hours
they can do anything
it could be done
so anyway
Capcom should do it
so you know
obviously
that was just like
and it's on such
it's on such
it's a hot button
that like
I don't
he doesn't realize
how rabid
people are
for a smash
brother character
announcements
and be anything
versus Capcom
in general
especially
after the last
one was
a little
yeah
and we couldn't run
any harder back
to the past
than Evo
throwing up
MVC2
at the
on the main stage
so
all that to say that
like there's a
hankering for all this
and you know
I just think
yeah like he just
kind of landed on that
and certainly
just didn't know
what was going to happen
and then this time around
again with this new tweet
same idea
and like
fucking
everyone overreacts
and blows up on it
but like dammit dude
don't tweet that shit
literally like
you have to realize
the power and responsibility now
of being V
there was a big
there was my big favorite
part of the story
is that one day later
he
unprompted
by anyone
talking to him
decided to tweet
let me be
100%
clear
I have no knowledge
of any new
Capcom
games
or any other
what their games
tell
this tweet was me
being a big fan
and seeing an Instagram
ad about Capcom
yes
I am in no way
teasing
or revealing info
and to be perfectly honest
like
sure
the calls might have come in
and been like
dude what the fuck
Ryan what the fuck are you doing
but
even if they didn't
right
even if they didn't
the reaction
to the tweet
would be enough
to scare anybody
who understands
uh oh
I think people are
taking this the wrong way
because it blows up
and it's become
it's trending
and four weeks ago
the same thing happened
off of the podcast
and he's like
oh wait but this isn't real
am I gonna get in trouble
yeah
yes
so yes
you will get in trouble
goodbye V
goodbye
no no no
it'd be
it'd be cool
to have him
like
continue to exist
in some sort of like
menu
announcer kind of way
or just as like
some sort of like
voice
I think probably
that would be the best
shopkeeper
or that
when you
the camera zooms in
on Virgil
and his inner thoughts
are represented
by V's voice
zoom inside
and that's what's happening
yeah
or it's that
or that
or reason
one or the other
on each
on each shoulder
yeah
on each shoulder
you've got
reason
and you've got
V
telling him
yeah
yeah that's it
and then when
V can't decide
then he has to go over
to the animal buddies
yes
and they're appearing
to give
they all sit around
a little mind table
there you go
this this
this is the same kind
of dumb energy
that I was thinking of
when I was like
if we get a sparta prequel
which
I think
was talked about
for the PSP
for DMC zero
or whatever the fuck
it was
that wasn't anything
well there was DMC game
announced for the PSP
people thought it was going
to be zero
and it would be sparta
no that's all just
what we want
yeah you're right
but
I don't know
do you remember
do you remember
do you remember when
sparta woke up to justice
and how
poor like
that's just never
touched on ever
I can like
I assume
it would be
he saw Ava
and Ava was really hot
and he was like
yeah
but I prefer
the idea
that he saw
a pizza
okay
and was like
what is that
and then he ate
a slice of pizza
and was like
I have to save the human world
see I think
that's ridiculous
because I think
Dante's love of pizza
comes from the fact
that he was
in a stuffy old mansion
with a stuffy old
heroic
monocle motherfucker
that would never
disgrace
the dinner table
with a pizza
look at those photos
I don't know man
of the family
gathering
the kind of person
that sits down
the family to take a photo
like that
that type of painting
done
and Ava's being all
like perfectly motherly
she's in robes
and
she might sneak them
a slice of pizza
but Sparta would never
so
you're saying
that the pizza
is Dante's thing
that would mean
that
Virgil
hates the fact
and Sparta
have specific
dumb
depression foods
listen
uh
Sparta brought
pasta to the table
okay
and that's
the type of meal
that he would
get a linguine man
bugs
bug man loves his
spaghetti
okay
and
alright
and
and I think that
uh
Virgil took that
and then
took it to be
ah yes
the most refined
udon
and ramen
and then
just
DS5's painting
of him as just a
hyper weeaboo
is the absolute best ever
so
so he's like
yes father did
love the noodle
you know
and it's like
same thing for Virgil
and he's like
I eat the udon
and the ramen
this udon
has been folded
over 1000 times
truly
with the most delicious
egg cracked over it
you know
and that's
where he goes off
to fucking
study the
blade
and
protect virginities
until of course
he doesn't
um
but
Dante swerves
the other way
and just goes
woohoo
because mom
slipped him
some pizza hut one time
and the baseball stands
holding the fucking
um
the cotton candy
yeah
just powering up
and freaking out
because Ava
just gave Dante
a little bit of cotton candy
uh Ava gave Dante
a little bit of cotton candy
he's just like
ah what is this
you know
that's how
that's how he got into the
the wacky woohoo pizzas
Virgil having none of it
spartus having none of it
reminds me of that
little like
that cute little comic
that's like
Dante
why do you always eat pizza
it's like
I always eat pizza
when I'm depressed
I eat pizza every day
yeah
and that just zooms in
on his blank eyes
yeah
but that's not true
because we know
that Dante doesn't
eat pizza
when he's depressed
he eats ice cream
no that's true too
he eats chocolate sundaes
when he's depressed
that's true too
you will give me
that egg
oh my god
he's in there
you know it's so anyway
um
um
um
yeah
so every time
he has to make a decision
and he's like
should I wake up to justice
and then like
little V on the shoulder
appears
pops in
and then opens the book
and starts reading
a blank quote
wait
okay yeah
I got so confused
he's like
no that's
he just
what and he's going on
in the quote
and then Uri's in
just like
nah I don't do it
nah power though
nah
don't do it
not
and Uri's in like
yeah
V's like
yeah
it's like
okay
and Golem
and Griffin
and the cat
are there
and they all go
yeah do it
yeah
Griffin specifically
goes
potty time
and then
and then
and then
and then
and then
and then
cat
fight and then
um
whatever
panther
whatever
attack
oh god
that's terrible
I hate that
I hate it
yeah
Jesus Christ
and I think
and then I think
he gets the picture
you know
for it
like
that's always the part
Virgil's inner party
that
that's always the part
that got me
of their attitudes
is that Virgil
was the one
that knocked
somebody up
like right
like
or
or
mysterious lady in red
just
was that determined
and had that much motivation
just scoop some off the
sidewalk
tackled
oh no
you know
she turns her head
in that cutscene
and then
we don't know what happens
the power of humans
and like
and maybe
maybe
you know
maybe the power of mankind
was
uh
just that
fucking
undeniable
do you think they ever saw
how he started walking
around the house
doing chores
and bug man
hell no
now he never
he never bugged up at home
that was ridiculous
think about how
like
remember how their whole
you're right
I'm sorry
what a ridiculous question
well it's like
no but like
their transformation was
such a big deal
yeah
in
the fucking
awakening
you know what I mean
like it's like
nah he didn't bug up at home
he just kind of
fucking polished
swords all day
yeah
and then every once in a while
he'd be like
hey Dante come here
and then Dante would come running
and then he'd like throw a sword
through him
Dante's like
you got me
got you again
yeah
he's like now pull it out the hard way
like
oh man
through the hill
oh dude
he's like oh that sucks
this guy you know
you gotta get used to
get used to that feeling
a lot of
a lot of big sword things
when you get really good at it
your clothes won't even been messed up either
there you go
there you go
so you know
that's what it was
that's all it was
it was stuffy
old manor
the stuffy old house
and he was just kind of like
living
way
too old style
for a modern day
cause
cause he was like
a weird bug man
so
like
do you think he looked at his kids
that were just like
reading poetry
and watching anime all day
and then the other one
was just like
listening to rock music
and like
playing the drums
so is this normal
but the problem
that's the problem
is that
rock music existed
yeah
but he was still
ruffa ruffa
yeah you know
he was still going new
still doing it the old way
upper buglet
and so on
so yeah
like who wouldn't
wanna get away from that
or at the very least
just be like
buu that's boring
but he was still kind of
cool though cause he was powerful
yeah
I really hope
sometime in DMC
we get a fucking definitive answer
it'd be great
where the fuck
Sparta went off to
it would be great to find out
the answer to all those questions
and it would
you know what would be great too
to have it play out
in a way where
like
in front of the kids
he kind of had that
upright demeanor
yeah
but then the moment they weren't looking
he was just Dante
Virgil in front of the camera
Virgil in front of the family
he's gotta be different
he's got so we
we talked a lot about this
way back when DMC 5 came out
and that
Dante is like rock cool
that Virgil is weeb cool
and that
Nero is punk cool
and V is goth cool
yeah
and I went back
and I even saw the ending
of DMC 4
where Dante
literally calls him a punk
okay
so
Sparta has to be
a different
it can't be just
it can't just be like
wahoo pizza
okay
he has to be something
I guess to be like
so
suffer cool
Churchill cool
is that can we go that way
like big speed
like big
upright
and you know
drunk
perhaps
or
you know
anything from that era
like yeah
posh
is there posh cool
is that such a thing
I mean
like
Churchill
um
um
what's his name again
Hitchcock cool
Hitchcock cool
can we go Hitchcock cool
you know I could think of
I could think
Gentleman cool
I could think of like a
like a Clint Eastwood
kind of thing
mmm
but too
too raw
too unrefined
hair metal
people are saying in the chat
dandyism
dandyism
Slayer and Dudley
okay yeah
alright there it is
that's it
and so okay
so he
he kills the
what he kills the
random demon
that comes to the house
and he does a cool line
right
but it's kind of lame
like Dudley's
you know cause it's too posh
and I was just sitting down
for tea
and the yeah
and the two kids
look at that
and Dante goes
wow that's so cool
but I bet it could be
even cooler
and Virgil goes
ugh
why didn't he just
not say anything
that would be way cooler
well no you see
Virgil liked the nobility of the act
and Dante liked the taunt
mm-hmm
and then you take it both ways
see cause here's the thing right
Goken was neither
Ken nor Ryu
no he wasn't
he was just some old guy
he was just old
that's it
nothing going on there
to influence
really poorly defined personality
now think of it
I don't know what Goken's about at all
but then again
he's also not their father
they're just
they just learned from him
and whatever
yeah
in
yeah I think
I think in Sparta's case
there's enough
there's enough there
to like
back to
to
backwards right
a character
that would like influence them
in that
at least form
those formative years
mm-hmm
you know
and like you couldn't write it beforehand
like you'd have to do it
after the fact
especially now that we have
pretty much the full
yeah we have everything
timeline on the table
except for him
except for him
he's a whole blank slate
other than he's posh looking
and he turns into a bugman
what if he still was
totally secretly into BDSM though
yeah I mean that's fine
can't you like
what if that
what if he still
he still had the king closet
oh
that is like okay listen
we can't bring this world
into the canon
dad what's in this closet
they're for killing demons
this cat and nine tails
is actually a demon
it's a devil arm
it's a devil arm
um
but you know
yeah
it's very dangerous
don't play in the room
yeah
so yeah
every time you get a little bored
in the bedroom
go out and kill a demon
or just beat its ass
until it surrenders
and turns into a weapon
and then now you got some new toys
how about that
how's a weird place man
okay okay
here's the real question
here's the real question
when did Ava fall in love
with Sparta
was it
once he had woken up to justice
and
was normal
or was Lennon
she saw him the first time
and he was a horrible bug man
yeah so I don't think
the bug man got the juices flowing
you don't know that
I don't know that
you don't know that
I refuse to know that
but it is entirely plausible
that
he woke up to justice because of her
in a Dracula way
okay
you know
think about Dracula
okay
think about
the human that walks up
and is all like
I'm gonna fuck Dracula
and then
then we get the photo of after
I totally fucked Dracula
I totally fucked Dracula
and Dracula was like
this bitch
fuck the shit
damn
what are we gonna
hey what babies
you're right
oh that's what this is
yeah it's like that
okay
it was one of those
you know
I think
I think that's kind of what happened
and then the you know
the justice would have been the
the
the
you know waking up to justice
is kind of waking up to that ass
I just love the phrase
waking up to justice
yeah totally
so stupid
because it's like
what is justice
and it's like
well it's protecting humanity
and what is protecting humanity
it's that ass though
it's that ass
if I let Moon just win
then that ass goes away
and that's bad
so I should
get my force edge out
hmm
nah
swing it
nah
that's
nah
he did it
I don't like this
this is too far for me
they saved that sword
they did
they really saved it
I was
that sword was terrible
it was the worst
and I had
I had given up hope on it
yeah
and then they
they brought it back
you see it in three
and you're like
oh it's that one
it used to be cool
yeah
and then all I can think about
is like
wait a second
if that shit was so
beefy that it was the seed of
Spartans
sealed off power
yada yada yada
blah blah blah
right
and even the
un
gross bug version
of that sword
was the shit
right
what's up with Alistair then
how come Alistair
just
hard replaces it
instantly
we don't talk about Alistair
Alistair went to
beautiful joe world
and never came back
oh
we don't
never mind that
yeah
that was weird man
well you know
anyway
um
alright well
nonsensical banter
and Brian
don't listen
hey here's
here's my pro tip of the day
don't listen
to Brian Hanford
if he's got a secret
to tell you
it's probably bullshit
slash
assume that he's just
talking from excitement
because he was
mmhmm
yeah
that's what's up
put his
get a good old picture
of V
and just slap it
on the fucking
memento meme
of don't believe his lies
man
and you're good to go
could you imagine
how angry
Beowulf would be
if he got turned
into like
a butt plug
could you imagine
the rage
he'd be fucking pissed
Nevin would be
super cool with it
maybe
Nevin would love it
the answer is maybe
you don't know
Nevin would be
totally down
to get turned into
some kind of kinky object
yeah
but Beowulf would
fucking hate it bro
he'd be super pissed
so you say
are you in your
okay
so wait
hold on
so
I always assumed
when
a devil died
they turn into
whatever their
soul
so the novel
oh really
the novel elaborates
on this
because it shows you
when
Dante goes to the island
where Lucia is
from DMC2
and
she keeps telling him
to knock her up
and he's like
no way fam
exactly
and he meets
the grandmother
and stuff
that whole thing
is about
how he
enslaves Balrog
and then
why he has it
from the jump
in five
and that
shows you that
apparently
when
you
beat up
a
demon
until it is about to die
or at the very least
at its weakest
it's sign of surrender
it's showing of its belly
is turning into a weapon
right
so that is
that is that process
so it gets to keep living
in some form
exactly
oh what's
going on here
I think
I think
I think
there was a bit of an issue
with our
oh hello
power plug there
did we lose juice
am I still alive
and how much juice
do I retain
what happened
okay
I am in the frozen time
well your camera is dead
you gotta go to the webcam
and the
yeah I can fix it
you gotta turn it off
and then turn it back on again
okay
because
suddenly the
computer was like
hey your battery is on juice
and I'm like what
that's not correct at all
oh no that laptop
is an old piece of shit
that's an old office laptop
that has a broken space bar
but also the power
on the
tripod
happened to just hit
the corner of the table
in such a right way
uh huh
where I think it turned
to switch off
so
why is it to everything
just
why doesn't everything just work
because we have not invented
the chiral network yet
oh that's right
and then everything
will just work once
we get the chiral network
yep
it just works
yeah I mean
you know
the start up battery
is the most important piece
but yeah
yeah it is
yeah
so do we take that as a sign
that that's the end of that
segment
I guess so
okay
that's fine
how was your week
my week was alright
not a whole lot to speak of
except
for one
incredibly important thing
which is I went
with one beach saliva of course
to see
Sonic the Hedgehog
on Valentine's Day
well now
because that
is the most romantic thing
that you can do
big romance
what did you do woolly
did you go out
and have a candlelit dinner
or a walk on the beach
or some other lame shit
no
you should have seen Sonic
did you see Sonic on Valentine's Day
I went to go see Sonic the Hedgehog
alone
that's
on Valentine's Day
no
okay
I went
I went this weekend
but I just went by myself
okay
man
nothing wrong with that
hey
aside from
nothing wrong with that
no absolutely not
I never understood
what do you call it
the stigma
against going to movies
by yourself
yeah
I've gone to multiple movies
by myself
I haven't done it very often
but I've done it
you hit that point
where you're like
I would like to see a movie
and I know
no matter who I dial in my phone
no one's going to want to come out
to where I'm at
and see a movie
in the next
15 minutes
yeah sure
I want to
I want to go see
a swordfish alone
yeah
I want to go see
the world is not enough
alone
you know
okay that
those
yeah
I'm not surprised
there was a couple others
and they're more recently
I think I saw one Tarantino movie alone
but I can't remember what it was
yeah
you know
I forgot all about Sonic
because all I can think about right now
for some reason
is the Olive Garden
I just
oh
I have this
intense
craving
to go
eat
at the Olive Garden
I mean
is it
just
it is just coincidence
surely
it must be
from last week
the bit
to now
became relevant
but
yeah
so I mean
Sonic
like
Sonic loves the Olive Garden
here's
how I feel about Sonic
like I'm not
going to spoil anything
I'm just going to say that
you know
I think
it struck me
as a
perfectly serviceable
kids movie
yep
it was
pretty
it was just fine
it hit me
the exact same way
Detective Pikachu
where I was just like
yeah
okay
you came
what you did
what you came to do
there was no real
like
papa
you know what I mean
it was just
yeah that's it
that's the Sonic
it didn't
and in the same way
it didn't like
air
or flaw
in any major ways
there's one
there's
what I will say is
I think
you know
the
Jim Carrey
did exactly what he was hired to do
to be the goofy
be Zany
Zany
exactly character
um
I like
I
okay
John Ralphio
eventually
warms up
and does the job
right
but
like
I do prefer old Sonic voice
in general
I like that
that closer to Jaleel White sounding
yeah
nasally
hedgehog voice
but
he definitely like
like
John Ralphio is doing the
I'm annoying
yeah
kind of character
Sonic is
is
um
stupid
stupid
he is not intelligent
yeah
he's not an intelligent hedgehog
well he's not
an idiot
no
but he's not intelligent
yeah
he's just
like
he's
I mean he raised
himself and he's kind of just
figuring it out
yeah he's kind of awkward really
he's
socially awkward
yeah
socially awkward
right
and again
you'd also
you know
you'd think that like
given the nature of like
your ability to
go places very quickly
that you would learn more
about
like your geography
and
the whole plan
yeah
you'd think you'd cover
everything about
everything you needed to know
but he didn't do that
the
the
he decided to stay
they do like
so I
I would like to go on
is like
I think I like the movie
a lot more than you did
I think it's
very much like
Detective Pikachu
in that
it is
a good
baseline
six to seven
it's
it is a
average to find movie
and then
your enjoyment
will therefore
be raised up
based on how much
you give a shit
about Sonic minutia
in which
there was a
ton
there was a
ton
of
just tiny little
yeah
things
including
some children's
drawings
yeah
and phrases
there's references
they went hard on
they went very hard on
memes
was
so you know
when
like old memes too
so they
they're not
you're not worried about them
going out of style
because they already
went out of style
so you know
when like
they're showing you
like
you know
like just like
the earth
and then there's like
the original sort of
like
green hills
that he
was that
like next one in line
a reference
in the obvious
thought process
yes I
thought it was
and then they just
lean into it yeah
okay all right
that was a reference then
okay
they
they go into memes
they get
they get your
your
what does Sonic
eat correct
sure
sure
does
is there
anywhere in like
the comics or somewhere
where like that
there's an owl
creature
that
I have to check on that
game or a game or a
I looked
I looked across
at a Sonic
aficionado
during this film
and she looked at me
and said
who the fuck is that
okay
and so
I'm gonna assume
that's made for the movie
and there's pieces
set up obviously
for like
like things you could
do with the future
of this
if you want to make a
franchise out of it
oh I
I get a real
strong suspicion
yeah
with from the end of this
movie not even
within five minutes
of the beginning
their plant
you can see them setting up
yeah
like for what they want
with the future
right like
you know from
from basically
like the beginning
of the movie's baby
Sonic basically
so like
like from everything
with that
there's stuff there
that's like
obviously
just ignored
for the whole movie
pretty much
so you know
otherwise
yeah totally fine
and it focuses on him
the Mars
doesn't overshadow
too much
whatever
there's some
weird stuff going on
with him
and his female
co-host
is that the
co-host co-worker
wife
the lady
I don't remember her name
all I can remember
is Pretzel
Pretzel
yeah
so Pretzel
she's great
I actually really love
the bit where she's
asking if she
has stayed cool
during the situation
yeah very good
that was fun
they have
what I would call
anti-chemistry
in that
every time
a movie or whatever
would like
do a big hug
and like a kiss
or whatever
yeah
they just kind of
like
Mars
awkwardly puts his arm
around his shoulder
yeah they kept it
super platonic
it's really weird
they kept it
super platonic
and I was
paying attention
to how platonic
the couple felt
it's true
it's totally
I noticed that
Sonic lives in
a weird
sexist
universe
okay there is
one
there is
nothing
I just kind of smiled
at the end of the day
there's only one part
of this movie
that I laughed at
like out loud
and
this is just
like
somewhere near the start
and it's just
like
basically
there's a moment
in which
they
like
James
and Sonic
pull up
to like
a gas station
that's next to
a biker bar
yeah
and
you know
one of the
get some supplies
stay in the car
yeah
and then Sonic
looks over
and he sees like
the biker bar
but it just happens to be
the most
hype
poppin
biker bar
ever
it's so
crazy because
like the gas station
is apparently
across the street
yeah
but the biker bar
is so loud
and there's so many
flames
and people
riding sideways
on the
like how
was this not visible
on the
biker bar
that the
terminator
would look
out of place
going to
because he would be afraid
yeah
it is
road house
simultaneously
you know
like
and so
and like
Sonic is like
what the fuck
that's the coolest thing ever
and then he's like
nah I can't
looks away
then he peeks back at it
and then it just
like everyone is
gathered around
like two
woman arm wrestling
and like
the motor
someone's motorcycle
is doing
burnouts
as he's surfing
yeah he's
serving on the side of it
and everyone's
in a circle going
yeah
yeah
and it's so
absurdly fun
it's like
why would this
random biker bar
have so much fun
in the
pacific northwest
I might
out of nowhere
and it was like
I fucking
like that got me
that really got me
you know every two seconds
you look away
and look back
and everyone's loving it
so I was like
yeah right
that was really funny
um
and beyond that
you know
pretty straightforward
I very much liked it
I got exactly
what I wanted out of it
which was
there was
the middle of the movie
drags a little bit
the road trip
but like
there was not
we've watched
a lot of video game
movies
and
the vast majority
are
you're sitting
you're
you're resting
in between
cringing
right
you're sitting there
just going
oh man
they're gonna do the
ah
it's terrible
right
that didn't happen once
to me
instead
it was just
whether or not
this
this obscure
like
sonic joke
will land
with the audience
and for me
they pretty much
all did
there's also the
like
the thought
that comes in
whenever you're reading
like a flash comic
you know
which becomes
a problem
for about 80%
of the movie
because when it shows you
how fast sonic is
you're like
how does
well a big one
how does
like
how do problems still
exist on planet earth
a big one
is certainly
it's like
well he's too
small to carry
a human being
right
so
there
that's one thing
but it's not
physically
like
strong
you can't pick up
but then I guess
like at some point
where you're just like
okay but like
like the idea
of a car
it's like
what about learning
the directions
here's a map sonic
here's a GPS
do you know how to
read a map
and then
you're good to go
and like
this entire
well that's why
the movie has an
entire dedicated bit
for as to why
the movie doesn't
get solved instantly
and why
James Marsden
has to go along
for the
for the road trip
and have an adventure
because
sonic is
not intelligent
yeah
and he's also
a child
basically
you know what
no he is intelligent
sonic totally
taught himself
how to read
and he
and he understands
like
references
and he's making
like
jokes about
like the rock
and the
popular
new dances
and he's doing
the day
he is
doing a floss
he is flossing
I got the feeling
he was out of touch
which I thought was perfect
he's not quite
as out of touch
as I would have wanted
no but there's definitely
there's definitely
at least a scene
or two
where
he's kind of just like
I need help
I don't know
what I'm doing
and you're like
and you know
it is what it is
but
for the most part
you know
I think it's
it's a bit weird to think to
that like
this is what brings
Jim Carrey out of retirement
yeah
it's so strange
to think that
that was his pick
he's back
I'm certain
but he also
like
not only was that his pick
but it's like
it was a pick
that wasn't
like I'm going to do
something
way out of character
that like
the returning role
usually would be
no it's he's
he's a
he's a
a Carrey Kutcher
haha
haha
it's
I'm coming out
of retirement
for this
and
I'm doing
exactly what
I was known for
in the 90s
evil ace ventura
yeah
it's
it's
it's pretty
like
wow okay
I guess
I don't know
I you would expect him
to come back and do
a
a
I don't know
let's say
a 23
you know
like
well no I was going to
say
what the
fuck was that
movie called
well
the
give me any detail
whatsoever
the serious
Adam Sandler movie
like he did
a really good job
before the
he was
a
Adam Sandler movie
no no no
no
damn it
it's the one where
he's like in a
relationship
where he's trying to be
and he's just playing a
serious role
and it's not a
particularly funny movie
punch trunk love
oh that's
okay
I thought you were
like
trying to list an
actual
Carrey movie
no no no
I was saying
like
when an actor
well that's why I mentioned
23
because that thing's a fucking
there's that
right
or more apt
more apt would be
uncut gems
but anyway
that was
yeah
he just came back and did
what he was known for
and that was the thing
that was the job
I was pleasantly surprised
that
despite the fact that
he's great
and I loved Jim Carrey
he did not
carry the whole movie
on his shoulders
Carrey didn't carry the whole
movie
I know right
his name is a verb
so it's really easy
but
like
I was
I was worried I was going to
walk into a movie
and every time Sonic
and James Morrison
were on the screen
I'd want to put a gun on my
mouth
and then you'd be like
Jim Carrey's here to save
the scene
and that was not
the case
he actually
comes down a bit
to live in the same
stupid world
I mean he has a couple
of like one-liners that are
like
you know
like fun
but
I was kind of
also waiting
to
cringe
yeah
really hard
yeah that's what I was talking
about earlier
I was expecting some cringe
and I did
which what
what cringe you out
at the Flossen
yeah
and then the Flossen redux
so that's because
that's because
Sonic's out of touch
and
because we're out of touch
no I think by the time
the animators
were putting that
into the movie
relevance was still high
in fact
come to think of it
when did Shazam come out
not come out last summer
I think it was a year ago
okay
I want to say Shazam came out
last summer
early to that
because Shazam had Flossen
right
and this movie was supposed
to come out
last
like
what September
yeah
although where
Flossen would have been
closer to its relevance
shout outs to
that tweet that shows you
the old horrible model
as a painted stand-in
and then Tyson Hesse being
like
but it was a
it was a fake campaign
for marketing though
and it's like
that was the dumbest thing
to begin with
like
the idea
the idea that
it's like
this was a fake thing
that we're going to spend
money on to drum up
I could have bombed
the movie outright
and it's like
if they just went right
to the
if they went right to the model
that they used in the beginning
it would have had nothing
but goodwill
the entire time
yep
people would have been
a little bit weird
about the fur part
but ultimately
there's one bit
in the movie
where
would have been fine
where I want to say
the specter
of the nightmare
Sonic remains
and it's really
fucking awkward
because you can't watch it
and not know
that's what's going on
there is a
there is a small bit
in which Sonic
gets a tiny bomb
stuck to his
glove
in the movie
and there is a
slapstick sequence
in which
I was thinking
the exact thing
in which they can't figure out
how to get
the tiny bomb
off of his
glove
yes I was totally
yep you're right
and the reason why
is because the whole scene
must have been
acted out
and most of it done
because it was
stuck to his hand
I was totally
so that 100%
occurred to me
when I watched it
and then I immediately
forgot about it
right but it's like
this scene mixed
he's got a
like a Carl Looney Tunes
glove on
just shit
like just
bullet
ah done
yeah
but then we would have
had to see his gross
yeah
hand
like honestly
like I don't really
have any complaints
I just kind of wish
it was funnier
like
I just wish the
jokes landed a little
bit better
but there's not
you know it's a
it's a vague
well there's
there's two things
for that
it's like
no it's not
it's no Pixar movie
in terms of
laughs
how tight those
those laughs are
but
it would have hit harder
for you
if you were
one a child
or two
a big Sonic fan
but a good example
in those Pixar movies
is that those are
children's movies
where they're still
legitimately hilarious
right
like I don't think
I know that
like a lot of
what you're supposed to
expect if you're
like it's a
children's movie
is definitely like
the broad
and it's a good way
to deflect criticism
of something that
sucks ass
right
but in this case
it doesn't suck ass
no it doesn't
it's
fine to
slightly above average
but there are examples
of children's movies
where I'm like
that was
fucking hilarious
and so
I'm just simply
commenting on that
now being aware
to say that it is
fine to slightly above
that movie
we might actually
go see it again
because
wow
you really like it
there was a bunch of stuff
in it
that just tickles
it's something
it's like
okay
you reflect on your
side
there is a throwaway bit
about Carl
in the Blue Devil
that they go back
to a couple times
that fucking
cracked me up
I absolutely love
everything about
that fucking weird
character
and I hope that
character
like I'm in the part
point where this
man
I'm like
man I hope he gets
more lines in the
sequel
because
that would be great
that would be
right
just all the
yeah
no that
there's a lot
those are bits
that you could
go back to
and revisit
for a good shit
and I'm actually
sitting in the theater
going oh wow
they got that
dumb meme in
hooray
and then I clap
sure
yep
obviously
we wanted to see
slightly
darker memes
get in there
yeah well
but we
you know
shadows not picking up
a gun
I'm talking about
Sonic's weird balls
dude
okay well
also James
James Marsden
get with it
James Marsden
as fine as
it was
he also doesn't
feel like a real person
he is
like
so you saw
those modern
he's a reincarnated
David Hasselhoff
on Baywatch
you saw those
those photos of like
how
a cartoon
sidekick in the car
road trip is like
a whole genre
yes
one of which is actually
also with James
Marsden
yes
he is like
the
the
the platonic ideal
of that person
in that
he's not the shadow
on the cave
he's like
the ideal image
in that
he is like
not a human
he is
he's
idealist
not enough of a human
to exist
in the planet
mm-hmm
but he is
obviously
he is the
the transformer
Shia LaBeouf
to hang out
with Bumblebee
sure
so that Sonic can have
a character to talk to
and who is normal
yes
he's NPC man
yes
totally
and you feel that
the whole way through
and that him
and his wife
are the fucking
ad vehicles
really adds to that
to the point where
even when
like
his conflict
in his
in his story
you don't believe it
for a second
yeah
you're like
he's gonna be fine
he's gonna be
there's not even
remotely anything
troubling
there's
there's a moment
where he looks at a television
and essentially sees
that his entire life
is over
basically
and
and he goes
we'll figure it out
yeah
exactly what I mean
like
you're like
oh
weird
yeah
okay
this is all really bad
nah it's gonna be fine
it'll be fine
we'll figure it out
once we get your rings
buddy
and you know what
they got some
some nods
obviously nods to the games
not overly doing it
with the soundtrack
surprisingly
the soundtrack was
there were
two
game
game remix
sound
they kept it restrained
on that
which they didn't have to
you know
and the second one
the end of the movie
which is a nice
piano remix of
yeah
like I'll admit
I was like
oh that's really nice
and they found some really
they found some really
good excuses
to do
sonic adventure stuff
like
a bunch of levels
from sonic adventure
yeah
locations
and even like
military general people
yeah
right
you found a way to work
all of that stuff
into
this as well
so it's like
okay
you're grabbing your pieces
here and there
and you're making it all
um
there was
there's a
there's a point
in the
in the game
she's
in the
in the movie
where sonic pulls out
like an
ancient map
to look at
and I want
to get a screen
capture
of that
ancient map
because every single
thing on it
was
like
a thing
hey
do you want to go here
to the point where
one of the things
is like
a sphere
stages
are their own
motherfucking planets
I mean so
so if you're making a movie
nowadays
and you don't want to
over commit
you do that
right
so one map
you get that moment
of like
just like
here's the fucking
open possibilities
but don't worry about that
right
you hit the
you hit the basement
in
in
cabin in the woods
yeah
so to speak
so um
anyway
that's yeah
otherwise though
and for a second
this is
I was a little confused
about the idea that
rings are
they travel you
to different planets
and I'm like
oh wait the bonus stages
that's totally what
happened
you would jump in the
big ring at the end of the
level and you go to
the fucking planet
exactly
yeah okay
yeah sure
totally
super established
um
fun
yeah like
you know like fun
fun
you know what's
fucking awesome
these days
honestly
rings are peak
and ever
for me ever since
um
ever since
I remember
Iron Man 1
opening credits
I was like
I want to get into titles
like I legitimately
wanted to get into
titles as
a potential career
yeah
because that type of stuff
is so much fun
and there's been
so many good ones
in a lot of movies recently
that you almost
you just forget them
yeah
you know
but they're killer
there's
there's two things
because both the intro
and the ending
were one the credit
the ending credit sequence
like the fan
like you have the fancy one
with all the
important people on cast
just the voice actors
and the director
and all that
um
before you get your
your
your teaser stinger
for the next movie
uh which are great
by the way
they're
I was very happy
with both of them
uh they has fucking
scanlines
on the on your
ending credits
yep the sequence
like
they went through
the trouble of putting
scanlines over that fucking
sequence
yeah
but the
the Sega's new movie
logo
where they go
yo okay
so you know
how Marvel
started out
really really shy
yeah
and then slowly
built up
a confidence
till their logo
became that big
15 second
or 20 seconds
zoom in on
different movie moments
ah
and then you get the
stand version
and then like
the final one
for like
endgame was
a minute long
yeah
right
like
Sega
Sega went right
right away
right to the highest
confidence
and I
it was
it was
so confident
that I got
confused
because
it
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
it's
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:28,640
that happened, was it a Japanese movie?
You've got no Gotoku or whatever, like a dragon.
Japanese movie?
Is totally a full feature-length Japanese film.
Of course it is, yes.
Directed by fucking Takeshi Mike.
There you go.
And it's terrible.
Yeah, you didn't even have to tell me that.
But I was like, that's the type of thing where I'm like,
of course that exists as a Japanese movie, why wouldn't it?
There's a bit where Majima leans in a hallway,
past the edge of a thing to see,
but he's doing it with the fucking eyepatch side.
Yeah.
And listen, we're not going to live in a world...
We're going to sit here and think like,
oh man, though, Space Channel 5 movie,
that's going to happen in this lifetime.
Get the fuck out of here.
All right, so everyone, I want to put it down
that Woolly has now said that a Space Channel 5 movie
is not going to happen.
I would love to see a fucking Space Channel 5 movie.
What I'm trying to say is that the obscure franchises
that we like are not,
they don't have big budget power to move
to the fucking big screen.
Not like Sonic.
Right?
Not unless they combined in a Wreck-It Ralph kind of way.
Where you're like, oh, look, there's Chuchu Rocket
in the background.
Then yeah, totally, right?
But on their own?
Can we get Sonic having like a Dreamcast
in his little hedgehog cave on the sequel?
Think about how hype everybody got
that even bothered to watch the,
what is it?
I think it's like Sega Girls.
Yeah.
Sega Girls or Gaga Girls or whatever.
Or they hang out with Jeffrey McWile.
And they hang out with Jeffrey McWile.
And we're like, yo, that's Jeffrey McWile.
Then they're just hanging out with him.
And we're like, yeah.
And all he does is,
ah, ah, ah.
Right?
It's so fucking weird.
Totally.
And you're like, yeah.
This random little obscure short anime thing
like pulled in a Virtua Fighter reference.
Like, fuck off with thinking.
Like, just let it, it's a logo, you know?
But yes.
So the Sonic movie is average to good,
depending on your Sonic taste, I'll say.
Right?
Boy.
And it's doing well too.
It's doing quite well.
Doing better than Detective Pikachu.
Detective Pikachu also came out
in a really fucked up, busy movie season,
which I think it came out alongside Light and Game.
Yeah, what else is out right now?
Nothing.
Go see Parasite.
Okay.
Is that in theaters?
I think they got it.
Yeah, they got it in theaters.
Okay.
So Parasite and Sonic together.
Oh, Birds of Prey.
That's right.
Oh, that's right.
Sonic is ruining Birds of Prey.
Did you see that?
Ha ha ha.
I went to a Sonic movie with my family.
I was shocked at the amount of racist and homophobic slurs.
Someone grabbed my crib and did a stone cold stutter on it,
dashed my baby on the rocks.
They poured Steve Weiser all over my child.
Thank goodness there was a new child for me
in the Birds of Prey theater next door.
So I went there and claimed it.
You know my favorite one of those fucking movies
is my favorite one.
I fell asleep during the Sonic movie
and woke up to see my three boys were no longer in the theater.
I found them in the next door, Birds of Prey theater.
Oh, thank goodness.
And I'm like, that it's like because it's it's it's like
kind of realm within the believability.
And it's like, it's not like, oh, man,
Sonic's dropping hate speech.
I was trying.
I was trying to enjoy the Sonic movie.
But I was like, I'm not sure.
I'm trying to enjoy the Sonic movie.
But as soon as I entered,
I heard the hedgehog shouting full-throated N words at me right
on the screen, full-throated, full-throated.
Full-throated N words.
What does that mean?
That means with that with minimum hesitation.
Oh, OK.
Maximum stage voice.
It's not like bubbling out like, oh, you look around.
Hard R stage voice.
Wow.
Deaking from the stomach.
Was Sonic singing along to rap music?
And you know, no, no, no, there was no music in sight.
And I thank God.
He just called Robotnik a full-throated N word.
Thank God.
There was a Birds of Prey screening right next door
with clean seats, very clean seats.
Is Birds of Prey even playing at our local movie theater?
It is.
The problem is you have to make sure to look up H for Harley Quinn
Birds of Prey, because it's been renamed.
Are you serious?
Oh, yeah.
So are you serious?
So when it came out, when it came out,
the title of the movie was Birds of Prey,
which do you remember when I was talking about the posters for it?
Yeah.
So the posters came out and there, you were like,
you wouldn't be aware of what the fucking name of the movie
was because of the fact that she was front and center,
and it's almost like there wasn't a whole crew.
But the original movie was Birds of Prey
and the fantabulous emancipation of one Harley Quinn.
All right, which is a terrible name.
And then after it didn't do well,
they renamed it to Harley Quinn Birds of Prey.
And her Birds of Prey.
And her Birds of Prey, yes.
Now, here's the thing about it, right?
Full disclosure, I've heard that it's probably their best
since Wonder Woman Act one and two.
Sure.
Because at the very least, it's like coming in,
doing the Deadpool, hard R.
Sure.
And they play into that in a really good way.
Well, if that's the case, then.
It's just, word of mouth is not traveling in such a way
that people are bothering to go with.
If that's the case, then this movie was totally failed
by its advertising because every time I've looked at this thing,
it looks like a fucking piece of shit.
Also, right, Deadpool from the jump
was hard R the first time around.
It sure was.
This seems like a sequel to Suicide Squad,
which nobody wants to go see.
So even though you're playing it completely differently,
it's not the fuck is DC doing?
I mean, they're doing the only thing they can do,
which is don't create a cinematic universe.
But they did.
But then they stopped.
But you can't undo that.
You can't, but you can just keep making new things
that have nothing to do with it.
Yeah, but that takes a bit to decouple.
But they're doing it because it is a sequel to Suicide Squad.
But it's because Margot Robbie's there.
Yeah.
But everything else is kind of whatever.
You have to change the actors all the way down the line.
You can't.
And they're already doing screen tests with Robbie Pattinson.
Yeah.
So they're definitely trying to decouple the connections.
And we already know that Shazam is on its own.
Yeah.
So that's probably for the best, because your quality is just
way too up and down on the barometer, usually down.
But in any case, all this to say is that the legacy
of previous DC movies, apparently from what I hear
and the previous version and the previous movie
that this came from, is like hampering the fact
that this is actually not that bad if you go crab it
as a superhero movie.
But there's just too much back in it.
So I got to say, the discussion of Sonic dropping hard Rs,
moving into calling Suicide Squad,
fucking Harley Quinn and her Birds of Prey a hard R movie,
is throwing my brain.
Because what I think you're saying
is that Harley Quinn is dropping hard R.
Throated.
Right?
Like it's there.
These two conversations were throated and we're too close
together.
Anyway, so I want to I do want to catch that just to see like
because just to see.
Well, for one thing.
No, but like, yeah, I'm I'll check it out once it hits
some kind of streaming service because like I want to know.
And are they going to then do the the re-release of the PG version
because they're like, dear God, too much money on the table.
Fuck off.
That's cowardly as shit.
It is.
But Deadpool did it because they couldn't they couldn't stop
themselves.
They were too scared.
They're like, no, there's too much money.
Christmas, go see it again with your kids.
So I have a thought and it was the thought that I had walking
out and if they made money, they're right to do it.
I had a thought walking out of Sonic and that was, boy, it
sure would be great if there was a Sonic game coming out this
entire year, but there isn't.
That's weird, isn't it?
There isn't even a semi-recent Sonic game.
I think the last like is the last Sonic game that came out
like either the Olympics or Sonic Mania like two years ago.
Yeah, there's nothing for them to really latch on to.
But there is a really cool looking fan game that yeah, I saw
that I plan to take a look at Sonic will.
Sorry, Sonic, Sonic will kill it soon.
Sonic Robo Blast 2.
Yeah, looks fucking incredible.
But otherwise, I'm the official France.
Yeah, I think we should all acknowledge that because many
people went and saw Sonic on Valentine's Day and then went
home and screwed that we're going to see in one to five years
a new explosion of Sonic shit of the Sonic Generations is what
they'll be called, but or Sonic Boomers, whichever you prefer.
Wow, I said the first and all credit to one peach saliva came
up with the Sonic Boomers.
Wow, that's that's that's that is off podcast writing.
Yeah, to bring to the script to bring the script.
Yeah, that's like a writer wrote it, but you just came out like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because of course, because it's about Sonic.
But yeah, no, the Sonic creep town shit fest, I assume will only grow
in power now that young Christian children are being brought to see
Sonic on Valentine's Day.
I mean, in the meantime, like Mario's about to get a theme park.
So it's like, you know, did you have a thought watching the movie
that you wish that you were in watching the movie in 1994 and
seeing what the hell they would have had to do?
Just like a puppet.
No, I would know, but I had that thought.
But I was wishing it was 2004 to that would have been way worse.
That is where because 1994 means you might still get some animatronic.
It'd be a Muppet interesting like like like it would be terrible.
Yeah, but then they'd go behind the scenes and they'd be like,
we built a functioning robot that can walk and roll and act.
And the skin suit that we put over it is horrifying.
It's bad. Look how amazing this robot is, right?
That's 1994, 2004.
It's just the shittiest CG you can possibly be identical movie.
It would just be horrifying, just just like shiny and terrible.
Sub reboot CG somehow when they when whenever he goes to touch him,
whenever the human touches Sonic, his hand clips through the fucking 3D model.
There was a real there was a real concerted effort in the film
to for characters to never touch Sonic ever.
Did you notice that? Yeah. Yeah.
Sonic interacts with humans,
but humans are just not allowed to touch Sonic under any circumstance.
Why fly close to the sun?
Yeah, when your wings are made of wax.
Well, it's good that they it's good that they shot it like that,
because if they had to do that and then change the model on top of it,
I can only imagine what a fucking nightmare that would have been.
But yeah, anyway, that's where that lies, you know.
So I like Sonic again, I'm back on Sonic for the time being.
Would you like it if the game?
The immediate the next game you get and, in fact,
a whole new branch of games were movie Sonic based.
Oh, that'd be completely fine.
Because the movie Sonic is really just splitting the difference between
give John Ralfio some it's splitting the difference between Sonic one and two
and three because you see some three stuff in there and Sonic Adventure one and two.
And now boom just goes goes away.
Boom goes and lives on the TV where where where needs to live.
Yeah, I mean, the fact that I still like the fact that there's all those boom jokes
that still get clipped in and like, I'm like, yo, boom's funny, man.
Yeah, it's great.
You know, don't make don't make that go away.
That's funny. I'm I do fear a future in which Sonic.
Oh, I'm glad we learned this word a few weeks ago.
Sonic secondary material, i.e.
the comics, the films and the cartoons
now have a way better batting average than Sonic.
Yep. And it's not like a little.
Yeah, it's enormous.
No, and those comics have been strong for a long time, literally for years.
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw that.
The guy who makes the comics pitched a Mario comic
and Nintendo wanted nothing to do with it.
That would have been great.
Would have been great.
That would have been great.
He did great for by Mega Man.
It was such a shame that that didn't work out.
But yeah, yeah, the secondary material.
I mean, I'm average.
I only saw Sonic acts a couple of times.
It seemed fine, inoffensive, I guess.
But like you compare that to the fucking raw stinkers
that have come out like Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure, too.
Could it be that the problem with Sonic is Team Sonic?
Yes.
The best Sonic game in the past 15 years
was made by no one in Team Sonic.
It was Sonic Mania, which fans.
Yeah, everyone else.
Yeah, I beat Sonic Mania once.
And all I could think of is, God damn, I wish this was Sonic 4.
It had come out in 2000.
And I would have I would have learned to speedrun that game.
You know, like everyone, everyone is doing right
by Sonic, except for the people tasked with making it officially.
I can't wait for the next game to be like
Sonic gets back with the lease and they go on a on a we can save swords
and sorcery adventure. No, we can save Marie.
We can do it.
We can bring it back.
I don't even remember who that is.
That's that's the human from Shadows.
Shadows thing.
That's the shadow shadows trying to save Marie all the time.
OK, so shadows trying to save Marie and Sonic made it with the lease.
Maria.
No, her name's Elise.
No, no, yeah, no.
Oh, Maria is Maria.
Yeah, OK, is is.
Oh, is that the that's the promise I made to you, Maria,
or whatever the fuck the shadows talking about Maria.
Yeah.
Human makeouts.
I want to see.
OK, one last thing about Sonic.
I'm so happy.
I I called exactly why they were going to use his nickname
and they're they used his nickname a lot, Robotniks, I mean.
So that's going to be ongoing.
They fixed that problem.
Fucking thank God.
Didn't call him Eva, though.
No, call him Eggman.
Yeah.
And I want him in a fat suit next time around.
I want Jim Carrey in a fucking egg shaped fucking fat suit.
Oh, he'll get there.
He's going to do him.
He's going to do up like Christian Bale.
Yeah, he's going to fucking pack him on and it'll be the role
of a lifetime where it's like Jim Carrey gets obese, morbidly obese
because he has to look like a fucking egg to pull on the role.
Yeah, of well, yeah, yeah.
So, hey, like if if Bale can go from the machinist to Batman
to Dick Cheney, yeah, then I think Carrey can put on a few.
The Sonic the Sonic movie franchise has a real bright future ahead of it,
but it runs into a different problem where it's boy, I actually cannot wait
to see more of Sonic's friends show up in the Sonic movie franchise
right up until Amy.
And then Amy, I hope she steps out of a portal, gets hit by a truck
and dies and no one mentions it.
I think I don't think we're going to get that far.
I don't know. I think we're total.
I think I think we'll make it to Knuckles first.
OK, OK, OK, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Right. Now, this is where the confidence.
Let's not like like spend too much time or time.
But like I think this is where the confidence is going to show
is in your sequel. How many more do you bring?
Is it one? Is it one?
Or is it if one shows supreme confidence in a step by step plan
to get where we want to go?
Is it two way less confidence, right?
Is it any more or more anything more than two?
If it's two plus, we have no confidence like this.
The last Sonic movie guys.
That's that's that's exactly if tails, knuckles and fucking shadow
step out of a portal.
This is the last movie you're ever going to see.
If if the if Espio blaze
and Charmy, yeah, start fucking showing up.
Yeah, it's done. Yeah, it's just wrap it up.
All right, it's over.
So my one last question for everyone to percolate on
if Tails is in the next movie, will we get Tails's famous
cartoon meme face from Tails gets trolled?
I goddamn hope so, so much.
And two, if knuckles ever appears in this movie franchise,
it will be at least two years from now, right?
At the very least, minimum, which will put it like almost what
for five years away.
Will there be a Ugandan knuckles gag?
Fuck no, I think they would never I think.
Listen, listen, here's what they will do.
They will give Tails a very clear reaction face.
OK, because did you notice, by the way?
OK, you've seen Teen Titans go before.
I have. You noticed when the show is creating gifts?
Yes, on purpose, on purpose.
They're creating gifts, right?
They'll cut to moments.
This movie did that. Yeah.
It did it and it left the screen static, like
at least twice that I can think of where they're like, please give it.
Held it, right? Yeah.
And one of them in particular was a like mouth, a gape.
Yeah. Oh, right.
Type of face, because it's like you want that moment screen shot.
Now, knowing how that like that, how how dank they're willing to get.
Yes, they'll definitely give Tails a face like that.
That's not a problem.
Just the toll tails get knuckles would fucking never do anything like that.
Here's what he would do.
He's going to say, oh, no, more than once.
Yeah, you're right.
And at one point, he will say something to the effect of, yeah,
I'll show you the way. OK.
And it'll be the most normal understated.
Or this is the way or something like that.
And it'll and it'll be the most normal understated line period.
And that's the most you're going to get.
Or shut up. Fuck you.
No, I'm going a different track here.
I would also be happy with a moment
in which knuckles is talking to the rest of the cast
and remarks on how weird it is that none of them have nipples.
While eating an enchilada.
It would be funny if there's a joke that's made and everyone's laughing
and then he starts to laugh, but then stops himself.
Mm hmm.
There's so much.
This is this is the weirdest like get excited for a movie ever
because it's got this ocean of dank,
dank memory behind it.
And all I want to see, I want to see them go as deep as possible,
especially on the really old and now lame shit.
I wanted more cringe, honestly.
You wanted more of a train wreck. I wanted more cringe.
You wanted more of a train wreck. Yeah. Yeah.
I know, not a train wreck.
I just went, oh, my God, I can't believe I did that one so embarrassing.
I feel like enough people watch this over and over and over
that they managed to slice all of that out.
You know, it's on the cutting room floor.
Yeah, you know, it's there.
See, following Tyson Hesse's Twitter account lately has been really funny.
Him posting the fucking Olive Garden Zone.
Sure. Screenshot. I didn't see that.
Oh, man, it's good.
It's good. Yeah.
Anyway, wait for the Snyder cut.
No, the Snyder cut for the Snyder cut.
That'll have gone to Knuckles in it was cut
because it didn't resonate with audiences.
Why is Knuckles talk with this weird accent the whole movie?
Why is the entire soundtrack just pop music like full, full lyric?
Like straight up dropped on top.
I know there's a lot of things that we can make fun of Snyder for,
but the one that always is the first to come out of my mouth is
hey, why have a movie score?
Just grab pop music from the sixties and throw it in your movie.
You don't have to be that old.
Well, I always I always think of Watchmen because that's the one.
Watchmen is the. Yeah, but it's fucking crazy.
Oh, but, you know, I mean, let's never forget.
Let's never forget the name I forgot. That's good.
It's fucking the girls and the girls, the music videos and the music video.
The baby doll was there.
Rocket Punch Rock.
That's the studio. That's the.
No, sucker punch, sucker punch.
Name of a studio, name of a movie, name of how you felt.
Yes, when you saw it. Yes.
Do you remember when when I when I sat you guys down and I'm like,
hey, did you notice that they ripped off the entire Final Fantasy 13 trailer
and just made it a scene in this movie?
Why didn't he just release four music videos
because that's not a feature film? That's not my art.
It would have been so much cooler.
So if people don't know the train scene and sucker punch is like a blatantly
plagiarized recreation of one of the early Final Fantasy 13 trailers
in which they are fighting on a train.
If I watched the scene where without context,
a girl with a sword fought against a giant samurai with a gatling gun.
Yeah. Oh, Mecca, the samurai with a gatling gun.
I would have clapped. You would have.
I did clap at the trailer. I remember clapped.
But then the moment, you know, the context, it ruins all of that.
It's all in their minds when they're trying to steal a key.
And then Don Draper shows up and you're just like, what the fuck are we doing?
What is this? Anyway.
Yeah, I'm waiting for the Snyder cut of sucker punch sucker.
God damn it.
You know, I'm surprised that like no one's gone back and even done what we put.
Well, I just said where they just were like, here's four music videos.
Watch them and ignore the rest.
I would love to see that movie cut in half and watch each half and see if it's better.
No, no, it's just cut to the four.
Yeah, I know, but I'm saying I would love to even eat halves.
You need quarters. OK, all right.
Anyway, that was my week.
I watched Sonic and I love Sonic.
OK, so I watched Sonic 2 and I had thoughts about Sonic.
Do you love Sonic? No.
Would you help Sonic get rid of his weird ball disease?
Not if I have to touch it.
You would have to touch it. No. All right.
I like Sonic. Yeah, OK.
But not like that. I did not.
I don't love Sonic, but I like Sonic. OK.
And I walked out of there going, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is a better review than I would give almost any video game
movie I've ever seen, especially in a theater.
You know, you know what?
My highest review for a game movie would ever be.
Yeah. Postal.
But only if you watch it with Uwe Boll in the front row.
Yeah. Mm hmm.
That's that was great. That was very important.
But it's unlikely you're going to be able to watch Postal with Uwe Boll.
So, yeah.
Also, I was a little bit worried that they were going to
they were going to blow their load on like.
Well,
let's just say that like when Sonic has like his
like running fast energy stuff that like I was going to I was a bit worried
that they were going to make that like turn into other things.
Yeah. And like they didn't go to.
They got they got to go somewhere with the seat.
You got to you got to you got to leave some.
Yeah, you got to leave some breadcrumbs, I suppose.
But anyway.
So that was you. OK. That was me.
What's up with you, man?
So I did that.
I watched uncut gems. OK.
Do you know what that is? I have no idea.
Which is why I want to look it up as you're talking uncut gems is the Netflix
movie starring Adam Sandler that unlike the other recent
random apparently dog shit Adam Sandler movies, this is him doing a serious role.
That's where that fucking that's where he looks like that.
Yeah.
He is the most like extreme.
He's a he is a like a jeweler on in New York's Diamond District.
Yeah, he's playing this like
like a certain type of like a certain type of like Jewish man that like is kind of,
you know, working in this kind of area and like he's going crazy into
like this kind of like I'm a scumbag diamond dealer.
Yeah, the jacket in the sunglasses tipped me off.
And this is his other sort of like,
all right, this might not be a traditional Adam Sandler movie.
Yeah, but like the more you kind of go into it,
you you you really watch this journey as like
it's not it's obviously not what you think it is.
But like there and there's still funny parts of it, I guess I should say,
but like this is where all the cringe I was hoping or expecting
to feel in Sonic actually landed in uncut gems.
Great. And that's just great.
And like it.
There's you.
I all right, I'm going to stop you right here.
I'm going to ask you a couple of questions making a lot of noises.
Is it a serious movie?
It's a serious movie.
Is it a drama thriller?
What do we got? What's the genre?
I guess I would good, good, good.
That's a good sign.
Yeah, I guess I would say like.
Unsettling heist.
OK. Crime crime, crime thriller, crime thriller, crime thriller.
Does it succeed as the genre you struggled to label it?
Not only does it succeed.
OK.
I can't remember the last time I felt film anxiety, OK, on this level.
This movie is stress like like like the movies trying to make you stress.
Yes, OK. And it succeeds.
It succeeds in making you feel lots and lots of stress
because every decision leads to another more terrifying
potentially worse option.
OK. And it just continues to fork downwards,
but you keep forking.
It's not just like a path down.
It always branches and there's two options.
There's now even worse decisions to be made.
Oh, man, it's tiring.
OK. But it's super good.
OK. And I was having a real struggle
figuring out where that part of this conversation was going to go.
It's super good and really worth it to watch because,
yeah, there's I haven't seen a movie that made me feel that way.
I in quite some time, if ever.
And, you know, obviously, he does a fantastic job playing
a character that looks nothing remotely similar to Adam Sandler,
him or anything he's done.
And. Yeah.
And he just and you know what it is, here's what it is.
Here's what it is.
You know how Jason Bateman did Ozark?
Yes. And then you got Breaking Bad
and you got these movies and you got sorry, these series where it's like
this character was it I said, yeah, yeah.
So you got you got these movies where it's like this character is
doing a weird like it's not breakout role, but like a weird role
compared to what you usually expect of them.
Yeah. Descending down this fucking bad decision after bad decision.
You know, wrote a road to perdition.
Yeah. Right.
And then like this is basically like the Adam Sandler Breaking Bad
multi part series. OK, that is all put into one film.
Right. Where he imagine if Adam Sandler, I definitely didn't think
I was going to hear that today.
Yeah. So it's like it's like it's this in the same way that you would get
this like the journey of Walter White, you know, and the and like the
jury and like Ozark and everything about and just like like going down
this crime fucking route, you know, and how bad it gets and like lots of moments
of oh, fuck, lots of that.
This is his version of that almost in in concentrated into one film.
Really good dramatic role and have Adam Sandler such a good actor.
Why does he make all the poo poo garbage?
Because money.
But he's already fabulously wealthy.
But this is easy. Oh, and he gets to do it with his friends.
Oh, it's true. And Netflix doesn't care.
They're like, yeah, dude, it's true.
Because guess what? Everyone watched them.
That's true.
Like if he makes a stinker with his friends for no effort and everyone
clicks play on it, he's like, yeah, mission accomplished.
Netflix goes. Thanks.
Do you want some more?
And he's like, yes, please.
And then he goes and he makes a movie like this and goes, yeah,
I could still do it if I wanted to.
If I cared, yeah, try all the time, then I could do this.
And he's like, yeah, you could.
What's that? The Harrison Ford problem?
Just whether or not the actor cares, you know, it's all right there.
He proves in one fucking heart, like one solid film.
He's like, yeah, I can do this. Yeah.
But I don't feel like it.
So feel like it today.
And then he goes and does his like, you know,
he has a stand-up musical special and a bunch of other clunkers and whatever.
And he's like, yeah, I'm just getting paid, man, whatever.
But it's good. It's good. Go watch that.
Watch that and and give your give your angina some space.
You know, I don't like that.
Yeah, I don't like that at all.
So there's that.
Stress. OK, stress.
I don't need that. Big, big stress.
It's good. It's good.
So what else? There was.
Oh, yeah, of course, there's doom. Yes.
So where are you at in doom?
I'm pretty much one session from the end.
OK, did you get this?
Did you go back to hell and see the big boy?
I fought the big boy. No.
Did you see? I saw the big boy.
Yeah, that's I fought the boy that that moment.
You just walk into the level and see what a fucking sky scrap
size demon. Well, I remember.
So I see you see a hand.
Then I was like, oh, Satan's designing his edgy
like hell with the with that landscape looking like body parts.
Yeah. No, that's not what that is.
You're like, oh, and then it's like, yeah, guess what?
That was you.
That was you a little bit before you did that.
Anyway, I did that.
It was me. Oh, that's crazy.
So, yeah, yeah, I saw that did that.
God damn, what a fucking good game.
Is that just incredible?
What a fucking and you find the fucking secret
like the secret missions.
Yep. Just go right in back into those old texture worlds.
Oh, man.
Unfortunately, when you play back through them themselves,
they're not that fantastic.
Oh, I mean, the one because there's two when you find them.
There's two that I would mention.
One is like the old texture world movie things.
And then there are ones that are like DMC style secret missions,
which is like, oh, get to the end of the level without hitting the floor.
Yes. So I beat all of them.
Yeah. But great.
Yeah. The last one took quite a few tries.
Which one is the last one?
The last one was
survive the wave of enemies using.
Was it a rocket launcher only?
Yeah. OK. That's yeah.
With one health.
Yeah. Don't splash.
I think it was rocket launcher only one health and survival wave,
including Pinky,
whatever, like Baron of Hell and like the whole game.
Kako. Yeah. Yeah, something like that.
Man, as you upgrade guns in that game,
problems just don't appear like you are so overpowered.
It's crazy, isn't it?
Great. Yeah, you're daunting.
You believe it. You're you're daunting, like hard.
They've shown off do maternal stuff and you've gained not just a double jump,
but you have an air dash now that can go in any direction.
So have fun.
It's it's it and they the Super Shotgun has a devil bringer.
Yeah, the like it's and I feel like those those weapon upgrades,
the attachments and then like the final thing you get for them is often you're
like, man, you know, it'd be great if like, oh, yeah,
if the shotgun became relevant again.
Oh, well, hey, that was right there.
Oh, yeah, I did. Oh, great.
Oh, man, this siege mode is the fucking shit.
Oh, how fucking cool would it be if I of course you can move?
Thanks.
You know, and what's really fun about those is the final upgrade
on all of these guns is a challenge you have to unlock.
Yeah. So it's like, get all the points, put them in,
but the last one accomplish a goal and then you get the reward, you know.
So replaying it to get all that stuff has been a blast.
It's it's that game is incredible.
Every enemy has a certain, like, like optimal way to kind of deal with them.
And like when they're coming at you at the same time,
you got to kind of like break and pick better strategies and, you know,
choose when you want to chainsaw. So much fun.
Not only is like there was a there was a two fold thing playing that game
on release and it depended on how how like crazy you already were
about the Doom series, because I got ahold of and watch some old footage
of the original Doom 4 builds way back.
And but when it was hell on earth and also you watch the E3 presentation of that
and they look like fucking garbage.
Wow. Like do you remember Bethesda showing off Doom, the current Doom 2016?
What was the paint attention? It looked like shit.
And it was the same levels and it was the same game.
But it was slower.
The glory kills were slower and the person playing it sucked ass.
Wait, I remember you guys hating what you saw.
Yeah, because it was you remember it was that whole fucking
that whole rigmarole of we showed it off, but you can't see it
because it was only for quite gone. Right. Yes. Yes.
And then they showed it off.
You're like, this looks like shit. Yes, I remember that now.
Yes. So then the game actually came out and you play and you press start
and rip and tear and oh, oh, it's awesome.
Yeah. So it's not just that it was great.
It's that you expected garbage and got something great.
Also, the way you guys talked about it, set my expectations up for something
completely different, which is like the way like you guys always reference
the part where like the beginning of the move of the thing is like,
here's the plot of the story and do guys like get that shit out of my face.
But it doesn't keep doing that. No, there is still a story.
There's still a story, but he resents his involvement and and make sure
to unhook the Argent energy and then turn it off and carefully extract.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, stop breaking it.
Whatever you do, don't break the next one.
Yeah. Please.
And Samuel Hayden, a.k.a.
Optimus Prime. Yeah.
What a cool voice. What a cool voice. Yeah.
They get they do a good job surrounding you with an extremely hateable cast.
Everyone in that game is complete garbage.
Completely hateable cast of motherfuckers.
And as the lore slowly drops, you're just like, wow, like,
who were the demons?
Was it the demons or was it the humans?
It was the demons.
And then these humans are also dirt.
You know, and and seeing some of the stuff coming up for like the new
eternal like press stuff.
And I'm remembering that trailer of just like, so, yeah,
we kind of worked it out and hell's like a thing.
And everyone should just accept it and like the movie.
And then the magazine cover where it's like demon demon times today.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Or it's like, don't don't don't be a bigot towards demons.
Yeah. And also like, why, why the doomslayer owes the demon community
an apology. Right. Right.
But my favorite is the top one, which is why the demon, why the doomslayer
is only a figment of your imagination and a realization of your own insecurities.
It's like he's not real.
He can't hurt. He's not really can't hurt you.
Could never have been more inappropriate for doom.
Yeah. He's so real and he will hurt you. Yeah.
So everything, everything that has been like
tent polled, I should say, has paid off massively well.
Huge pop offs for everything.
BFG is great. Boss fights great.
Hell's great.
So you're not I'm not familiar with the the level of familiarity
you have with the ancient doom lore.
Well, you have to remember why he's so angry.
I mean, so we touched on it, especially since research,
Reggie brought some facts to the table. Yeah.
And of course, there's the in game lore of in the beginning, yada, yada, yada.
Right. But the real shit because they fucked up his rabbit.
They fucked up his rabbit, Daisy, and that's it.
All of them. How dare you forever?
How dare you, John Wick?
And you know, it's it's so it's so stupid because it's not real.
It's only because of the release dates.
But the fact that it's about his pet rabbit actually adds this weird
headcanon credence to him loving animal crossing.
Sure. Sure.
And hanging out with Isabelle and all those are all those pictures
coming out because they they have they are coming out on the same day.
OK, that's there are two means that have happened because of that.
One is Doom Slayer teaches the cast of Animal Crossing to shoot guns.
Yes. And the second is Nero goes up to the desk and asks for Animal Crossing.
Curie asks for doom. Yeah.
And every variation there in. Yeah.
So the yeah.
So you have all that all that set up is really great.
And you even get these little bits where it's like,
Motherfucker in the pits of hell, that's a commander keen helmet.
It sure is.
He made it to hell.
Totally made it.
What happened?
And I believe he's right next to a Gatling gun.
I believe Doom Marine, Doom Slayer, Doom Guy is B.J.
Blaskowitz's great, great, great grandson.
Is it three greats?
I'm not super sure.
But they they it is a family business.
Yeah. But I thought it was like like just grandkids.
Well, it depends now because when is this game taking place?
Super 21 21 something.
Yeah, like the family loves to kill demons.
Be they human or otherwise.
The fucking Dovahkin made it.
Fuck him. Yeah. Well, it didn't make it.
There's a Pip Boy in there somewhere.
And he picks up is like, what a weird little statue.
Oh, yeah. It's a vault, vault guy.
Yeah, you pick up a Doom Slayer, a doom toy, and it's just colored like a vault guy.
Yeah, that's that's that's true.
Yeah, man. No, it's a lot of fun.
And yeah, I get it.
You know, the the the incredible characterization of a character
who is not allowed to speak is fantastic.
And there's I mean, I'm at the point to where like there's very little
happening with him in that regard, like it were hours away from him
propsing the little toy or from him busting open the Argent energy.
Yeah, you know, but there's little fun bits where you're just like, man, Olivia,
what a piece of shit, fuck you.
You're gonna get it.
And then there's like, you know, obviously there's all the church
bits, which I'm I'm relishing.
I'm sure relishing in all that church stuff.
And then there's even little things where it's like upon replay
where because I'm cleaning up the levels and whatever.
There's a lot to clean up.
Yeah, the last two levels I did, I got them all in the first try.
That feels good. It felt very good.
I had I got everything in one shot, right?
So that was great.
But I still went back and did it anyway.
And little bits were like, it went right before Cyber Demon.
Yeah, right.
When you have the Argent accelerator or the rod.
Yeah, OK.
And Samuel's like, OK, so the Argent thing is in it's around there
somewhere and looks like you're going to have to extract it, you know?
And I was like, OK, and then now you're going back, you're like, oh,
because it's like extracting it means not pulling it out of a slab.
Yeah, pulling it out of the big boy.
Yeah, you know, so that was great.
Argent accumulator, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All in all, immensely satisfying in that regard.
And I can't wait to see what we close on.
I can't wait for the finish.
The finish is good.
And the finish is good.
And the finish is also of, oh, of course, like, of course, this is the finish.
Yeah, OK.
But and like, I felt stupid not not having seen like, figured it out beforehand.
I'm kind of waiting, right?
Here's the thing.
So, you know how Dante is just like
lulling his way to the end of his adventure
because he wants the combo, the shit out of everything before
getting in, before solving the problem.
That's right.
And then usually on the way to solving the problem,
there will be another person who is like
a good person who's otherwise in over their head.
Yeah, then Dante gets serious for a second and goes damn it.
Yeah.
And then it goes back to solving the problem.
Yeah.
I'm kind of waiting for the moment
that the demons run away from me because I'm I'm like, it really does feel
like I walk in the level and it's such a joke at this point
that they should be scampering away on their knees.
Yeah. Like I'm like, that's where we're at.
Maybe if we throw more at him.
You know, it's it's weird because like you find the demon text logs
or whatever the fuck they're called.
And there's obviously no more tablets.
There's obviously demons that have human intelligence at least.
Yeah.
I mean, whatever the fuck Olivia is talking to.
But but they're not the ones running at Dune Guy.
No, right?
I can't imagine almost any enemy in the game that you actually run into
even has the capability of speech, right?
So they're all morons.
Yeah, they don't get it.
Again, whatever Olivia is talking to.
And ultimately, who cares?
Because it's like, like I'm I'm going to guess it's the icon of sin.
Right. I don't know.
Satan's a bitch.
It's like it can't canonically the devil is John Romero.
OK, well, you know, it doesn't really seem to matter that much.
And also that little moment in the in Samuel Hayden's office
where you see the the fucking doom, you see the Dune Guy armor
and then it's flanked on the left and right by like Holy Crusader armor.
Yeah. And then they all have the same sigil on them.
Yeah. And you're like, OK, and they talked about the power of the Seraphim
in one of the Lord Towns. There's a whole there's a whole thing.
Yeah. So you're just like, OK, is Doom Guy like a space marine
that's been given the power of angels? Yes. OK.
Period. Done. That is absolutely what it is.
Done. Great.
Because they dance around it.
But the general consensus is that doom, the doom slayer is the doom guy.
And just doom one, two and expansions were a fucking riot.
And eventually these whether they call Praetoria or whatever the fuck
they're called or like, hey, dude, the Praetor armor.
Yeah. Hey, dude, you're cool. Get in.
And then they sucked ass, too.
So, you know, at the end of the day, like, it's just we gave a modern suit
of armor to a holy fucking. Yeah. A chosen one.
Anyway, it's great.
It the the Doom series, I always like to think
like what you're talking about going through levels works on
the Metal Gear canon explanation of gameplay.
Big Boss and Snake were never seen once.
They never killed anyone.
They they perfected all the bosses, etc., etc.
Right. To line up with the cutscenes.
Yeah. The the canon clear time on the on doom 2016 is the speed run.
OK, you know, like, OK, I just fucking right through like no problem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Landing death from above, yeah, all the melee as you possibly can.
The one thing I've never had this happen before.
And I can't think of any other franchise where it has where it's like,
listen, I know that in the old doom games, we saw his face.
Yep.
But I feel like he's a helmet hero with no face.
It's fun.
It's it's really interesting that you mentioned that because the developers
took that feedback and in Doom Eternal, his mask is transparent.
OK, and you can see his face.
And I think at one point they've even shown that he takes the helmet off.
And it is totally that dude.
Yeah, it is literally that dude with the short brown hair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who looks just like PJ Blaskowitz. Yeah.
And but but he feels like a helmet hero.
Yeah, you know, and you just like his we know like the thing there.
It's not a hidden identity.
No, why are you Master Chief and Bob of Fett?
You know, it's just so weird.
One of the little details that is from a game that you are very familiar with
from Doom Eternal is that if you kill somebody with a large explosion
too close to you, your face will reflect in the in the in the glass.
Metroid Prime. Yeah.
They're it's perfect every time.
But instead of Samus's like kind of plastic face, it's doom.
You guys go like permanently.
It's like really, heaven.
That's what you were rolling with here.
Yeah, I mean, can you get like unlocks to put it make it the comic book face?
I don't know about that.
But I know that there's unlockable armor sets in Eternal.
And one of them is the the old one.
I mean, they're just like the t-shirt.
They're leaning into rip and tear it's until until it's done.
Like they're leaning into it.
The Doom comics incredible.
But they read the whole thing.
No, it's fucking incredible, you know, they're full on accepting it.
So like at that point, fuck, why not?
Yeah, so that's that's where that's where we are.
And of course, that game is also like a fucking unapologetic fucking video game,
too, which is the most video game like and it almost like it's almost
like making a statement about video game and about how video games
have to be serious.
It's just just game.
Just just yeah, I want the health pickup to be a bright blue icon
so that I know where to pick it up.
Whatever, you know, absolutely, absolutely.
It feels like full on.
Yes, this is video games, video garms.
I've said that a couple of times playing it just like, man, they don't.
They're not trying to be a movie and not trying to be another thing.
They're not trying to unlock shows up on the screen.
Not not, you know, and then the fucking Gordon kicks in and the gent
starts gentin, you know.
Yeah, man.
Anyway, it was incredible.
Fucking great, fucking great, feels good.
Is is hella is great is Laris and and all that to say about the lore stuff
was like I expected there to be a get this out of my face attitude.
But like, I'm like, no, this is good lore.
No, he would be interested in that is good lore.
Yeah, reading the the codex as you unlock them and finding out
what it means to become a level three operating feet in.
Yeah, whatever the fuck it is.
Well, you know what I mean?
It is like a level three Scientologists.
Like, yeah, sure.
Totally no problem in there.
What else you got?
Crack the can open on Kotor two.
All right.
What do you think about Kotor two so far?
So good.
It's a good game so far.
So good.
It's a good game.
I really have been the seed has been planted where I have so many
questions about what happened after the last thing.
You know what?
I'm just you're going to just do yourself a favor and just to start
deleting those out of your head right now.
Yeah, yeah, do yourself a favor because there's no good answers.
And the answers that you will get are going to be like,
all about the old Republic.
Sure.
And they're all going to suck ass.
But ultimately, don't worry about that.
It's more just along the lines of like, OK, so, you know,
how bad can things get in about 10 years time?
Real fucking bad.
Real bad.
Yeah, so I'm like, huh, OK.
All right, let's let's find out.
Really fuck the pooch on that one, huh?
Slowly, but surely we'll find out just how bad things got.
And it was much to my surprise, but also not surprising at all
is the the revelation that, oh, yeah, the Jedi
have been wiped out more than one time throughout history.
In fact, like the thing that we know about in like, you know,
Anakin era, yeah, is really just the most recent time or that everyone.
And I mean, everyone was done with their shit.
Yeah.
Cotor 2 does so done.
It does this great thing where it's like because it came out
kind of after in the middle of the prequel, I think in 2004.
And the Jedi Council and Cotor looks and sounds a lot like the Jedi Council
in what in the prequels.
Yeah.
And it's like this mentality is going to lead to your downfall
every time it's so narrow minded every other week, man, just enough,
you know, and like the and the unflex, the unbending.
Yeah, the rigidity makes it so that there has to be alternatives,
but there never is because good, evil, bad, good.
Yeah, Revan went nuts, but I didn't.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, I'm going to do it different this time, will you?
Fuck off. Yeah.
Which is why I'm so disappointed to know that like there's no good reward
for playing great because my curiosity would want to see what happens in that
on that path. There is one.
There is one reward for playing great.
Yeah.
And that is playing evil all the way through, except when it counts for not
killing three very specific people.
OK, so that they will tell you what is going on.
OK, because if you kill them, you just don't find out.
Yeah, so I kind of assumed as much that there would be a
like there are your minor's decisions and then there's your major like
slider influencers, so to speak, so there's way more than enough
points to still make the big good ones while still going like 100 percent
shithead. Hmm.
But it is it is it is something curious and interesting, at least in terms
of game logic about, let's say, in real life, like just stabbing someone
in the face in cold blood, yeah, and then doing enough good deeds
that you're back to being like exalted.
And oh, so where are you at?
You're off the mining.
So first planet. OK, first planet.
That's it.
You have you gotten to the part where party members
are calling you out on your bullshit.
I mean, not a little, little bit.
OK, I've been introduced to Barth.
Yeah, a.k.a. Better Carth.
Yeah. And I've been in that chart
starting to make a little more sense to you now.
But a little bit.
I've been introduced to grandma.
Grandma, she's all right.
She's all right. Yeah.
And then I'm like, it's my boy is T three to the rescue.
Hey, man, and he's got the bizzzt.
So I'm a role.
You need a door to be open.
I need a robot to be fried.
Yes. So bizzzt.
He's going to be is fried.
He's the bro.
And and I like it feels as if.
OK, so this is obsidian, correct?
Yes. OK, this is my first obsidian game then.
Right. Really?
All right, then.
Because that's a name of a because you've you've had New Vegas on a shelf
in your mind shelf ready for the future.
But here's what that is.
That's a company name that you guys always talk about,
that I have no direct hands on reference with.
Yeah. So now this is my first, right?
Especially good because you played the Bioware version
and then the obsidian version.
Well, because I'm like, what other obsidian games are there
that I would have played?
You would have played Neverwinter Nights to you would have played.
I did play Neverwinter Nights one.
No, not obsidian. Yeah.
That's Bioware.
There's a real weird Bioware does the first one.
Obsidian does the second one.
Yeah. And you guys know I didn't play New Vegas.
So then what else would there be?
Dungeon Siege. No, there'd be the old Bioware games,
which is despite being made by Bioware,
is is 100 percent actually just obsidian South Park.
I played. I didn't beat it. Yeah. Right.
I touched it.
I worked while OK, that was in test,
but I didn't beat out the problem.
It was in test at the office.
That was about it.
Yeah. So, you know, like at the end of the day,
it was always on the periphery,
but it was just nothing that I ever said
I ever sat down and completely went through.
So as surprising as that fact might sound,
when you break it down to the by the numbers,
there's nothing that necessarily crosses the desk.
So this is the first time around.
And I'm like, OK, let's let's see what we're getting in for.
And I guess there is a feeling where
whoever put this together kind of went,
hey, you know what everyone thought was really fun?
HK. Yeah, he was really cool.
People enjoyed HK.
They enjoyed him a lot.
So like literally countdown clock minutes,
minutes into the second game, as opposed to hours
into the first game, yeah, you get to sit down
and talk to HK for a long time.
A real big conversation with the boy who you love talking to.
Yeah, you know, and you're like, they know how much people love this
and they know that this is exactly who you're willing to have this kind of
conversation. Yeah.
And then I felt like the tone shift was complete when you run into
I'm so pissed off, I'm holding my organs together with the force.
Jackass on the ship.
What's his name?
Fucking Sion. Not there yet.
Yeah, you are.
You got off the mining facility.
You ran into him.
Barf. No, no, no.
You got off the mine.
You went to the first planet.
No, I'm in the ship.
I'm in. I'm floating in the ship.
I'm not at the mining.
I'm not. You said you got to the first planet.
No, I said I beat the first.
As in I beat the first like area, planet stage, whatever.
I didn't land anywhere.
I'm still in the ship right now.
So don't worry about it.
It's fine. It's fine.
All right, my bad.
So. Oh, wait.
Oh, God.
Bad guy.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I completely.
OK, you're talking.
If you're talking about a bad guy, the crusty boy.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
You're right. You're right. Sorry. Sorry.
Totally, totally, totally didn't.
I didn't. That didn't.
When you did your descriptor of him was not at all
what I was putting together.
But yeah, I saw a crusty boy.
Yeah, he was crusty.
He's very upset.
Ashy Larry.
Yes, Larry. Is that what you're calling him?
Yeah, a little bit.
He showed up.
He showed up. Yes. Yes.
You're correct. You're correct.
And he he looks kind of fucked up,
but he's on that title screen.
So we'll find out more about him.
He's fucking jacked up.
Pretty much.
Pretty much his entire storyline
is the thing you read in the medical notes.
Yeah, OK, is just he's very upset.
And he's flaking all over the place, bro.
Yeah, so we'll find out.
We'll find out more.
But at the very least, you know, I was like, OK,
so there's you and there's grandma and there's me.
And then we'll see where we go from here.
But so far, yeah, man, that's fucking.
That's the Ebon Hawk.
What are we doing? We're flying on it.
And I love how overt it is.
Like, hey, look, it's the Ebon Hawk again.
Fucking Ebon Hawk, bro.
And then also it's like, hey, what are these?
These minors are just trying to go to work and fucking get
their get get get their their family.
I got fucked, man.
Trying to get some food for their families and like,
just the worst possible series of events.
And then of all the people to show up, a protocol droid.
Oh, hey, I don't really see how that'd be really all
that useful in a mining operation.
But I feel so bad for those poor fucks.
Yeah, so it's wonderful.
It's wonderful, you know, just the slow reveal
through all the hologram histories that of like things
very, very slowly going wrong.
It's it's turning the dial up at a half notch.
One of these little droids went nuts.
Oh, that's weird, two went nuts.
Hey, a bunch of them are fixing that ship.
Did anyone make who told?
Did you make him do that?
No, I didn't make him do it anyway.
Hey, Jerry, you do it.
Oh, Jerry can't hear us.
He's got his phone.
He's got his head on there.
What was that noise?
And hey, what the fuck?
There's a guy who turned on the gas.
Why do we even have the ability to turn on the gas?
You know, and then and then, of course, the yeah.
And then from there to fucking insurrection and back.
It's just, you know, a great time.
So that that's going down and really enjoying that as well.
All of this, all of this continues over on
Willie versus on Twitch and on YouTube.
So doom and Kotor
will will be will be going on.
And yeah, I think if I finish, if I finish doom,
then we'll start the new LP on Thursday.
If there's if there's at least two sessions of doom, then
then we'll just do.
Yeah, I have the exact same thing where I put a schedule together,
but a page and I are either one or two sessions away from finishing
RE five. So I ended up just being like, if we don't finish it,
just slide the whole schedule one day over to the right and just pretend.
So that's over at Willie versus, you said over at Willie versus.
You could tune in for that stuff and or something new,
depending on however doom shakes out tomorrow.
So I'm still streaming residential games, almost on RE five.
That game's pretty good.
But you know what?
You remember how RE four had a lot of slow moments, Wolves?
And you are five has so many moments that it's like run through the area
while a million enemies are fighting you to flip a switch and then run back.
Don't even bother.
It's kind of like the pacing is kind of all over the place.
So when I played, I remember shooting everything.
Yeah. And then it slows down at points like,
I think you get off the boat and you have to fight the Bejinis.
Yeah. And like, there you have to take it slow.
But I wish the game was still a little slower paced overall, honestly.
But yeah, more of that and then something else.
I'm going to stream some fucking bullshit one off
just to put a day in between residential games.
And then resident will revelé at tons.
We'll start this week.
That's over at twitch.tv slash Pat stairs at.
I'm excited to get to fucking revelations.
I never beat it.
I got about a third of a way through where you're shooting invisible hunters.
Isn't there an important law?
Resume a revelation says a problem and it is that thing where the sides,
you know, never had the revelé a ton.
Well, yeah, I did have the revelé a ton.
OK, the problem is, is that the revelé a ton is too big.
You know, when a side story that you know,
main series games aren't going to pay attention to does something
that's too big. Oh, yeah, too impactful.
So in revelations, there's a fucking giant
fucking floating Japanese style city.
You know, those kinds of techno future things.
Yeah, that gets completely annihilated in millions of people die.
And it's called terror greed.
Yeah. Mm hmm.
And it's OK.
Wait, that rings a bell now.
Right. Like, yeah, yeah.
For some reason, I'm here.
Yeah, I'm just thinking back to I think it was like Liam
like saying fucking terror greed. Right.
And it's like it's too big. Right. Right.
It's too big. Yeah.
It's like if New York City got killed by hunters and no one talked about it.
Hell, fucking no. Right.
It's not important because it didn't happen. Yeah.
The obnoxious side story that is way too big for its britches.
Yeah. Yeah, you're you're looking at it happening
and you're like, this doesn't count.
You know what the most egregious side story is of all time?
What's that? Ninja Gaiden.
Yeah, you're right.
You're very right.
What's going on with Joe Hayabusa in Ninja?
Like, how much importance are we going to put on this side story?
You know, is that to is that to like imply that the real story is what is dead or alive?
No, no, because it was this was before D.O.A.
Yeah, it was. It's been we've been following this side story for years now.
When are we going to get back to the main story, guys?
I don't know. What the fuck are we doing with this side story?
Side demons.
One day, we'll find out.
One day, we'll find out who that guy that Joe Hayabusa cut was in the intro.
But none of this matters.
Now, everything we use is not important.
Ignore it. Just ignore it.
All right. Well, that's it for our weeks.
Should we move on to something else?
Yes.
Something such as that.
What the? An advertisement.
An advertisement for a fine product that has sponsored the podcast.
Oh, we should do that. That seems important.
Hey, guys.
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All right.
So a couple of things happened this week before we move on.
I would like to continue one extra step of our prior public service
announcement.
Sure.
Deodorant.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Deodorant is a fantastic addition to your smell and or smell removal.
However, it is not to be confused with a replacement for soap and water.
No, there's a multi step process.
Yes.
The first step is cleaning the surface.
Wash your body.
The second step is making the surface smell good.
Yes.
If you can't skip the first step, you can.
No, but it won't work.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Well, sure.
Okay.
Because then you will be ripe with flowery sense.
I think everyone has discovered the car and or human that has discovered the method
of fuck it.
Just put more on.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
It really doesn't work.
Now, there will be times when you find yourself in a pinch where you might think, just go
put more on and that'll deal with it.
But like you can just hit a bathroom up, grab some soap and water.
Do what you got to do.
Just use a sink, bro.
Take care of it.
Do what you got to do.
But yeah, you got to clean the surface before you put before you put the smell on.
The body can be weird.
Your human body is disgusting.
You need to fucking get as much of it to leave as possible.
There are folds.
There are folds.
We have that.
That's that's our biggest problem.
The folds.
There are folds.
You know, if there were no folds, there'd be no problems.
We were perfectly smooth top to bottom.
Think about it.
Every single problem on the human body in terms of scent comes from a fold.
No, there's one that doesn't.
I don't know.
The folds limit.
I don't have folds on my asshole, bro.
Yeah, but you have folds around the edge of it.
See what?
You see, you're the butt itself.
The cracks out of fold.
Yeah, it is.
You're crazy.
The butt is a fold.
No, the butt is a crevice.
It's a fold.
I'm counting it as a fold because here's the thing, but some muscle.
Here's the thing.
Right.
The but itself.
Yes, but there's a crack that's closed off.
The point is that when you have it closed off, there is not enough air making its way
through everywhere that there's a fold.
There's no air getting in.
So those are the places that problems arise.
Arm pits.
It's a problem.
I just want to seal myself off in the laminate, man.
Okay, but like would you laminate like so that everything is separated and divided and
nothing is folding?
No, just laminate me to death.
See we can do that, but how do you want the details handled?
For example, do you or laminate?
Do you want the laminate to go right down the crack or do you want it to just go over
the top of it?
Because then you have air bubbles.
I want to be encased in carbonite.
Right.
You want a vac bed.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you need it to go right down the crack and in between the folds.
Yeah.
So so you're looking for a situation where you don't just have a nondescript bulge.
No.
You have a very detailed wrapping around each, each crevice and we encase full sack on its
own so that everything is isolated.
Every toe individually, every finger behind your ears, terrible, everywhere that there
might still be a space or a crevice or a fold lobes isolated, separated from the body.
You're not even safe if you put your brain out of your body into something because your
brain has folds.
Your brain does have folds.
I mean, except for the smooth brain people out there.
Yeah.
Kudos to them making it work.
They're trying real hard.
Are they?
Probably.
I thought the whole point was that they weren't well, no, I mean, I think the point is that
they can't either way.
So let's talk about some stuff that happened.
Get the fuck out of my face, medical mechanical.
That's coming back eventually.
Where the fuck is FLCL to it?
It happened.
No, they did a preview episode.
They showed one.
I think it was like they should one preview on Cartoon Network, but I don't think the
full thing came out at all.
We would have heard about it.
Are you?
I'm pretty sure it happened.
Oh my God.
And just and no one cared.
Oh my God.
Did they happen and nothing happened?
Yeah, that's right.
Two and three came out and they and they just, no one, nothing.
No.
I appreciate the mentality of we must have heard about it because it would have been such
a big deal.
But no, that sucks.
We don't have Cartoon Network up here in Canada.
So I don't think I was relying on the Internet to like laugh.
And the Internet hit it with a collective man, man.
That's like, um, what was the other thing?
Something I was looking forward to, uh, uh, cannon busters.
Yeah.
I was like, yo, what's the deal with that?
And cannon busters.
It's like, yeah, apparently it came out.
What?
But I was waiting on this thing to drop and it's like, yeah, apparently the first episode
was great.
And then everything else.
Some people were saying not that great.
Great.
And I was like, it was sort of okay.
And I was like, oh man, really?
Super.
I was looking forward to that shit.
Wow.
Every time.
Well, if I yawn and then speak, Muppet time is upon us.
Yeah.
I'm not sure what's up with it.
Um, if I could do it on purpose, I would.
I would love to have a Muppet voice in my bag of tricks.
Next time you do it and tell me to clean my room.
Um, anyway, so they came out and they fucking nothing was talked about.
Yeah.
That's right.
Wow.
That's, that's right, man.
That's super bummer.
I did the pillows make new music for it.
I don't know.
Oh, okay.
Well, now I'm going to go look that up and find out, man, I think that bums me out more
than like it being such a colossal fuck up that you can't like it becomes a massive talking
point for years almost where you're like, it happened and it was such a sputtering nothing
that no one even refers to it anymore, right?
It's like that, that, you know, I'm trying to, I'm trying to think of one.
Nothing worse than wasted potential.
Yeah.
Hey, does sequel come out to that?
No.
Quiet you.
There was no sequel.
Never happened.
Well, okay, I got to go check out FLCL two or not three.
No, I need to know.
Okay.
And then I got to go check out cannonbusters because I need to know.
But man, that really makes me feel bad.
As soon as you just offhanded, I feel derailed.
Well, anyway.
All right.
So what happened this week in the news of pop culture, video games, movies, etc.
Well, that's shit we talk about incessantly.
Yeah.
I mean, do we do we just throw up the relevant talking points for our competitive sakes or
can we just go into random shit?
Let's just fucking hit it.
Just just look.
I don't remember any news that interested me to enough to me go, Hey, do you see that
shit other than Brian?
What's his name?
Brian Hanford.
Mr. V. Yeah.
Talking shit.
Well, there's a big obvious one.
That was my highlight.
Well, no, I mean, the obvious one that everyone would would come to us about is is co-op and
local co-op in bloody palace.
Man.
Please put that in the other versions.
Forget about that one.
Please.
I did.
Two weeks ago.
Okay.
Man.
That's a hell of an ad.
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
But you're going to have to accept at the very least at the on this point that the switch
version of this game is now definitively the one to play.
Well, I think the most annoying thing isn't even that this version of the switch.
I'm like, I really want that for DMC five.
Yeah.
Of course.
Like bad.
Oh, of course.
And we'd love to see that in any other game, but at the moment when it comes to three, unless
you're like, you know, trying to run that mod game on the PC version, this is just this
is it.
Yeah.
This is the version to play.
You've got style switching on Dante.
You've got a fucking local co-op bloody palace, which we know exactly how they did it.
Yeah.
You just grab.
Oh, Matt Walker even talked about like they use doppelganger and they just put it in there.
Yeah.
Well, that's exactly.
Well, not even doppelganger.
Mission 19.
Yeah.
Right.
You just grab the same two player Virgil from, yeah, and just give him his full moveset.
Yeah.
From mission 19.
You just throw it in there.
Right.
Dante controls the camera.
So this is the type of thing where you're like, this is how you make a new feature out
of shit that already exists.
Yeah.
You just had more time.
So why not just let go piece it together.
Mm hmm.
Wonderful.
And how if any, if any bloody palace could use it, it would be this one with the fucking
10,000 floors or nine, nine, nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety.
Whatever the fuck it is.
Where you jump up with the crazy amounts at a time and in same difficulty shoot up.
Yeah.
The co-op on this type of challenge totally absolutely called for.
So wonderful, awesome, awesome, fun things for that.
And that that settles it.
Like that's this is the version of three to eat to play, you know, as far as I'm concerned.
Although the joy con fucking push can can eat my ass with a spoon because no, we're not
turning joy con sideways and playing double maker.
I think you're talking about the best way to play.
You got your switch right there.
You'll be able to play as Dante and Virgil by turning your playing on your your hipster
rooftop.
All right.
You know, you know, and the gangs there.
They're all crowding around the tiny switch that you've propped up on a on a perhaps blue
ribbon and you're like, yeah, I'm I'm gonna be I'm gonna be dirgell.
See now, if you share a combo meter.
Then that's a joke.
It's the easiest meter ever.
Well, certainly.
But also this will lead to new combo video possibilities.
It sure will.
That besides modding, yeah.
So I look forward to seeing what the old gang can do when sore teams get all the people
behind the fucking DMC three combo style contest, combo meds on this.
Yep.
Go go go get a vault of base even.
He made a couple.
Yeah.
I remember seeing his crazy shit and like, I wonder how I can do that.
And then I saw the button layout he used and I'm like, I don't want to do it anymore.
I don't want to do it anymore.
It's the same feeling.
It's the same feeling as what you get when you watch these super hardcore or armored
core for for answer or armor for five for answer like versus videos like that's incredible.
How are they playing with that?
Oh, they're playing with the DualShock backwards.
You don't like you don't like having to piano so that you can air hike into into Oh Christ.
I just remembered.
I played Damon X Malkina this week on PC on PC.
Yeah.
It runs incredibly well.
It plays really well.
I can't stand playing it.
Why the story is invasive and terrible invasive.
I can't you can't get away from missions in which they're talking the whole time about
their about the worst story known to man.
And like it like wrecked it to me like all the conversations as you walk around slowly.
No, no, the like when you're in the mission and they're just constantly, constantly talking
and it's terrible and you go to pick a mission and you have the little cut scene of these
terrible characters hanging out.
It's a bummer.
That game would be dramatically improved to just rip all of its voice acting out.
So I tried playing.
I remember when I tried playing the demo and I was playing it in Japanese because I wanted
to hear shark.
Yeah.
And and then it became impossible because there's so much dialogue.
Yeah.
That I couldn't read up top and it's actually impossible to play that game subtitle.
So we had to just switch it back.
And also the subtitles are in a bad place.
Yeah.
They're above your character up where the life bar is bad as opposed to where subtitles
should go.
So yeah, then I switched back to English and then it kept going.
But I only played that demo.
It's it fuck it's that no one shuts the fuck up and it's all garbage.
It's sub bad anime trash.
There's also those cut scenes in between the missions where they're talking to each other
on the little codec screens.
Terrible.
Terrible.
It's a bummer.
It's the only game I can think of that I played in years and years and years that the story
took like ruined it for me.
Wow.
That bad.
Bummer.
Like maybe the game would be a lot better if you just hit start on every cut scene and
then turn voice acting like in the options to zero.
Yeah.
What about customizing your character?
It's incredible.
Giving yourself implants.
Oh man.
It's great.
And the the Mac customizations out of control.
It's totally just armored core.
It's great.
Yeah.
Oh wow.
It's tons of fun.
Cool.
Just I want to scream at everyone to shut up.
Well this segment is in the complete wrong section.
I know I cast but I knew it was only the last two, three minutes.
Fair enough.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to scream at armored core and then I was like oh I forgot.
Yeah.
That's news.
Oh yeah.
But it runs incredibly well.
We're seeing the suggestion play multiplayer.
There's no story there.
I don't care.
I don't care about multiplayer.
Okay.
Did you like your robot?
I liked my robot a lot.
Good.
Good.
I'm glad you liked your robot.
Front mission three is still the best.
Front mission three is still the best.
But the camera is pretty far away.
It is.
But you need it far away because it's a PS1 game.
Yeah.
Well it gets up closer than the fights but then it goes back far away.
You know.
Man.
So sad to hear about that franchise not continuing to exist in a strong way.
Thanks Left Alive.
That's one of those games that came out much like FLCL 2 and 3.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
And it just.
Oh that came out?
How?
Hmm.
All right.
Hey I hear that uh now that that's strategy is over Koji wants to work on something and
he wants Yoji to have more of a chance to shine his mecha designs off.
Can we get um grown of the Zenders?
It's just like Egypt robots.
Just shut just yeah Egypt robots.
There you go.
This one the good guys Anubis and the bad ones Jehuti.
That's crazy.
Pharoah bots.
Pharoah bots.
There you go.
You did it.
You did it.
There.
Done.
Sorted.
Everybody enjoy.
All right.
Back to the news.
What else we got?
Well uh so yeah um fucking what are you going to do?
Not play Virgil and Dante style switching all over the bloody palace with your friends?
Fuck out of here.
Of course you are.
So that's that.
Weirdest thing about this weirdest thing about these these um updates is the fact that they're
not being delivered via highly edited amazing hype trailer there it's it's like Matt Walker
talking in like what looks like a Facebook post straight up doing an Instagram story.
Yeah just leaning and talking going hey guys here's the latest feature and you're like
oh okay that's very candid it makes it gives you the feeling that these were like easy throw
together easy throw together and maybe not as much time to like throw them out there as
how we hoped but um one way or another it's kind of like well okay I'm hype I'm that's
a really hype announcement I just I'm surprised it's not with like a big ass trailer and music
playing and you know like we are falling I really hope they get caught bloody palace
in five because now the expectation has been set that has been that bloody palace can be
co-op it sure has and we know that the online co-op framework exists is already laid out
in the game in a passive weird non-almost way almost pawn like system and we also know
that people are playing that one mission over and over and over again just so that they
can play for two minutes together in a similar co-op fashion so it is very possible you know
and you can you can stack your raw stuff rack your stylings against each other and they should
do it all the signs are there I think they know they should do it I don't think there's
any feeling as obviously stupid but still compelling as I want it so they should do it but I want
them to do that so they should do it but this is not that stupid because they already did
it they just didn't turn it on yeah it's there they just didn't turn it on turn it on please
yeah so yay I want to be able to play DMC for with all five playable characters in the
store missions and co-op at the same time yeah oh my god just giant round trip while
Kleena and doing the itano circus while judgment cut end while while Nero is snatching enemies
into it into the zone and and then Pandora has opened up yeah fuck me yeah so you know
it's kind of nuts what's that um I kind of had a point in time when I thought this would
happen but then it never did and now all these years later after it's already been revisited
uh this event did occur a playable version of Starcraft Ghost has leaked way after anyone
would ever care well way after they already used her in a bunch of stars and here's the
storm so um really really weird uh for this to happen all this years later but it looks
like what happened is somebody um got their hands on an xbox dev kit and on that dev kit
was a build of uh the full fucking game up until at least the most the more recent version
of it the question is is like is there a Starcraft Ghost got killed twice yeah there's the old
old old build like version and then there's the more recent one right so I think the yeah
this is from the xbox era like build which is the newer one okay because there was a
there's an ancient like screenshot that was the like the promise of starcraft go you know
that kind of thing and it was nova walking behind a line of siege tanks that was firing
at a zerg on on rush right and it's like yeah that's really really cool like you know boots
on the ground see that shit and we never got it um and I guess it is very interesting
to see a game that was deemed too awful to release by old blizzard and we can compare
that to games that new blizzard does release such as warcraft 3 reforged I mean like this
was back in that era of like we have infinite money and time which is even more valuable
so we don't need to put anything out there that is going to potentially even damage they
killed three games in that time period they killed two starcraft ghosts and warcraft adventures
and they were just like these games aren't gold plated super a plus super games so into the bin
what a crazy philosophy it's almost like or or like the it's like will this even remotely hurt
the brand if the answer is if the answer is maybe a slight maybe can it right but yeah we got we got
full on we got full on footage of ghosts that is uploaded now so we can see what what this game
was going to be and it also looks like you can fucking you know maybe even acquire that somehow
and play it yourself who knows maybe one day we'll find out what titan was blizzard would never ever
release something that would hurt one of their brands well quality is of the utmost three B's
baby here's the thing right blizzard would never but there is no blizzard anymore all that remains
now is blizzard activision which is a distinct entity active blizzard I believe yes it is affectionately
called also I mean there is something that like remember when it was going to be a really cool
feeling to watch a ghost on foot walking up to fire bats and zerglings just getting the ground
view ground view of it like I'm watching it now and like obviously that magic is not there anymore
because the mystery has been you know it's not fully ruined yeah we don't we don't necessarily feel
that way but I remember being insanely excited about the idea of like an archon yeah right like
on foot fighting and like you know like busting up a bunch of it's the same thing that they only
versus predator franchise hit on a little bit where like the final boss of one of those games is
a predator right right right yeah yeah yeah yeah you know like a carrier flying overhead holy shit
and just sending out the little drone you know what I mean like all these moments that like in my
brain I'm like oh could you imagine yeah it's like the final boss is a mutilisk one mutilisk like
do you remember the really hype cutscene of the arbiter flying overhead and decloking a ton of
units yeah and how sick that was as like oh fuck this is what it feels like in cinematic yeah
display and not in gameplay you know like you see a single ship fly overhead and an army is suddenly
here oh my god that's fucking crazy yeah the promise of that type of thing on foot would be so cool
you know and then eventually at some point Nova pointing a laser at a spot and then that spot
getting nuked and the goofy thing is the Warcraft players did get that experience with wow wow
totally delivered on that exact experience for the other because you were playing as you know a
human footman or whatever and you saw an abomination you know those big guys the hook yeah and it was
the fucking biggest deal in the world because those things are way better yeah than an average fucking
shit-ass unit yeah so I just saw Nova shoot an infested Terran that's crazy yeah well anyway
mystery solved can close the door on that piece of history yay or at the very least see how far
they got you know see how far they got now and judge for yourself whether or not they were
right to kill it right to kill it yeah honestly at a glance right now looks like a pretty generic
third-person shooter but doesn't Starcraft almost a fucking Star Wars yeah you know god well
it's all because it's all because not only was it Starcraft on foot Nova was a cool design that
everyone loved right away such a cool design that like it retroactively replaced the old
gold ghost design everyone wanted ghosts like this now everyone wanted more of this special
ghost she was very cool so I bet one of the reason this is complete headcanon when was
Starcraft Ghost canceled it was a ps2 gamecube and Xbox game at various points in its life right
mm-hmm that meant it would have been canceled what 2003 2004 Xbox came out 2004 right sounds
right okay do you remember this is gonna be a fucking pole you remember warhammer 40k fire
warrior no so warhammer 40k fire warrior was a game where you played as a towel infantryman
tower the for the greater good communist a little space aliens that have high tech
Xbox came out 2001 okay good and fuck is that warhammer 40k towel fire warrior was warhammer
40k's entry into the first-person shooter genre in which you got to play as a warhammer 40k unit
on the ground floor of the grand tactical or space marine yeah and it's terrible it sucks ass
and the similarity to starcraft ghost is significant huh because they are the same concept
what if you were a FPS sorry what were what if you were a strategy unit but it was a shooter
right and that game is terrible so I wonder if over I wonder if the timing works out that people
at blizzard were like looking at that game and going yeah we don't want this to be our fire
warrior for our brand um wasn't yeah it wasn't space Hulk also a 40k game yes so they've done it
before yeah okay I think I literally have that sitting on the fucking Saturn shelf right over
there never pop oh wow someone in chat pointed out that these are all essentially reverse halo wars
which is really goofy I suppose so I suppose so um I think I think like on principle you're
way better off going in the direction of reverse halo wars than halo wars yeah like if you have to
pick because like it's easy to like a strategy game that's well done will give you a lot of units
a lot of a lot of settings a lot of world a lot of like map set it you know what I mean ideas yeah
to work with more than enough that that you can pull from for a full third-person shooter but if
you were to go the other way it would be much harder then you'd be much more limited yeah
runs the space marine man I wish we got a sequel to space marine second kick ass but that is like
wherever 40k has this fucking problem with its games in which like none of them are successful
enough to become long-running franchises except for dawn of war yes so but the first one always
gives you the same factions about vermin tide vermin tide is not 40k not 40k but it's warhammer
yeah it is warhammer but I specifically mean 40k okay so every 40k game you got your space
marines you got your orcs you got your elder and may and you're gonna flip a coin as to whether
or not you have chaos space marines are dark elder okay and it's like every time it's like can we
get a shooter where I shoot a necron please how about a tyrannid aren't there also like a billion
possibilities to pick from there are a lot because that tabletop thing is a very very very large
world there are a lot and you get to have this awful moment where you go oh wow those are just
like those things in warcraft no no that's wrong okay blizzard stole it not the other way around
yes yes more like world of world star crap yeah blizz right and then you get the fucking sing
the song that ends the earth right man taiko going crazy games workshop got fucked on that shit yeah
so the thing is of course is that like I get the impression that 40k is such an insanely large
wiki dive of a universe so it is the same size as warhammer you could throw a dart and land on
any setting with any rate couple of races yeah make it something interesting but it's always
the same ones okay because they're the popular hero one and then the popular villain one is the
chaos and the orcs got it got it got it okay yeah right so like so warhammer and 40k are
analogous like there's a one-to-one for almost every faction and one of the coolest things that
they put out with what was it total warhammer to which is what I'm calling it I don't care
that's not the real title the factions were elves evil elves rat people and dinosaurs sick like
cat because of the first game did like you know the empire and chaos and like the normies so and
then the first expansion was like dead pirates and then the one after that was the tomb kings and
like you know weird just the weirdos I would play a game that is a board game on the tabletop
where it is operation accepted as a space marines body fine great pull out all four hearts
operation is it heart a b or c operation and if you fail the the emperor accuses you of heresy
the doctor for you yeah yeah I'm down anyway same thing with yeah and it is the same thing with
vermitide where vermitide was like rats and then it's like okay that's a good weird one then it's
like chaos dudes and then like maybe we'll get elves you know like just so you know me I if I was
into that heavily I would get really frustrated at the same pics being used over and they're
always the quote unquote normie pics knowing that there's such interesting ones to grab that's why
vermitide was ever was like yeah I would get real tired people of the big populars being the only
thing we grab people never get any play yeah yeah I mean shit what was I like I was just having
this conversation about something else I don't remember what it was but it was like literally
exactly this was just like why do we always have to get the same street fighter where like if the
fucking 12 world warriors aren't there everyone loses their shit yeah but no because I mean well
it wasn't that but that happened in the third strike and then eventually those became beloved
but for years they were like fucking considered a mistake and a bad idea so yeah it's like alright
you can get the same guys you want here they are yeah you know oh that reminds me of a story
that's probably on our our talk at this week about Street Fighter 5 did you see the the the
statement from Capcom they're addressing the online there will be adjustments coming to the
online play they did say that there's also Seth stuff and yep looks like the pressure has
cracked the dam finally and the water is leaking through can't wait for them to perm a ban everyone
who used that network fix well have you seen what happens when you play Seth's old costume his
Street Fighter 4 look he's very small he's really really small because they have to make him the
same size it's really funny he's like a toddler next to Honda what are you gonna do you do what
you got to do you do what you got to do and I would be very excited if Street Fighter 5 just
fixed its netcode yeah that'd be really good and then they threw it away for six there's a lot
a lot of a lot of character references in the moveset yeah a lot whole lot of Demetres and
she does the bow like after the you know after the drill demon cradle flap flash Charlie Nash's
flash flash flip kick yeah the spinning in there is a reference video that puts it all
together yeah I watch that but then like in that video right there's the like the spinning like
yeah where it's like I don't know what this is and it's like Zeku yeah Zeku literally does that
kick is the keys to the character right behind you on the character slot screen who's Zeku guys
master exactly I don't know who Zeku is neither do you Bushin Ryu what only two are allowed at a
time he wears green uh-huh and he's an old man I see he's got that appeal Laura's got the hots for
him yeah oh does she yeah he's got a little raccoon I know a lot about Zeku okay there you go
or do you dude I'm the one that told you about Sakura's Hadoken hitting you feeling like a cool
refreshing you are that person that's true yeah I read to you match plot guide yeah you did all
right I think I tried to read it and I got like two pages and I'm like I don't care enough I'll
ask Willie if I need if I want to know Laura's asked here yeah of course he is okay so other things
that happened this week included my eyes glazing over as I read the headline Quantic Jean
announced his self-publishing venture yay now no one will hold them to any standard and now they
can descend into the depths of madness themselves yeah there's no worrying about whether or not
the publisher will tell them no no no Quantic dream announces the discovery of urgent energy they
can do anything no one can stop them yay so the first time in 23 years of working with
Pratesh's publishers were now in a position to self-publish yeah you know it's kind of funny
how we got almost the same thing from platinum the other day yeah and it was super exciting yeah
and here we're reading it here and you're like okay well yep all the best with that good good luck
with you guys maybe you'll make a unqualified good game one day no mad soul too so I'd flip my shit
I'd be super excited for no mad soul too I'm not even joking I'd be fucking I'd be so excited
call it soul no mad there it is except that game already exists but then just be like we don't
care fuck no that game already not too bad we're taking it that's a weird anime no no we're taking
nope it's too late they can't do that shut up Japan too late soul no mad we did it that game
exists I don't know what to tell you they don't they don't you think cage cares I think the trademark
office cares yeah watch them do it anyway yeah watch them do it anyway and then they get sued by
the PSP and then just change the name to Fahrenheit there you go or call it Kelvin
Kelvin okay whatever yeah same same place whatever you hear when you hear about studios
working on games I'd rather stories such as this one such as Remedy confirms it's working on
control DLC and three games okay well control DLC was known and that's gonna be a tie-in to
Alan Wake two DLCs yeah okay so both coming out sometime this year but in addition to that
they've got three games on the slate and I don't know how big of a company remedy is but that
seems like a lot it does seem like a lot that seems like a lot in addition that's four projects
I have no idea how big they are but they take forever to do anything and so I assume one of
these will be canceled and they're not in yeah and they're not inexpensive either like they're
spent there these are these are pretty you know I would really like for them to continue Alan
Wake those games are incredible maybe one of those games is just a filming crew filming some actors
right now that's yeah it's not out of the possibility maybe that's what that is right like
let's we just decided to make a team that is just for filming the actors in the other games
there you go yeah I mean that's that's that's that's cool cuz I mean I yeah fucking rad on
that hope good things happen but indeed I expect one of those to just not exist yeah that's way
too many projects we're working on two games and then it's like oh Alan Wake two and they're
like well what's the other stuff and they're like what other stuff we didn't we're not working
on anything else and you're like and they go oh that that quote oh what we meant was Alan
Wake and it's two DLCs that's what we meant and you're like no it's not okay so the first of
these the single-player story campaign for smilegate entertainments first-person shooter
Crossfire X a popular series in China and Southeast Asia okay second title currently
going by the name Vanguard it's been known about in general for some time it's Remedy
creating a long-term service-based multiplayer experience oh mmm both of those sound like
shit whoa oh eternally playable development version now exists third currently announced
title is based on the company's own game brands and is proceeding well okay oh okay okay well
yeah I want you what could that I don't know what what would that be alright so they've got a
new they've got a new well look at that what we have possibly be I don't know Alan control yeah
okay yeah how sick would a game be that's just called oops objects of power man well because
Alan the thing that control does I've never seen anything ever do or at least I can't think of
because Alan wake had these little jokes about Max Payne in it and then Alan wake had its own
universe and ideas and what was going on in it and a control comes on and says no this isn't the
Alan wake universe this game isn't connected to Alan wake Alan wake is connected to control yes
because control is the big so that's the crazy like awesome thing writing is usually you zoom in
yeah this zoomed all the way out and showed you that what you saw was a fucking that's like no
Alan wake and quantum break and Max Payne are part our little pieces of their files on a desk
yeah in the world of control those stories are in a little fucking manila folder yeah in a filing
cabinet somewhere yeah oops yeah it's in the folder labeled the really bad ones like you know
shit goes off I'd be super dad for oops bro yeah that'd be great because now it means our way can
fucking telekinesis throw bullshit all he wants and everyone can be a fucking remedy Jedi
yeah yeah right actually sure because because oh what hey Alan that flashlight you have it's
actually a really special flashlight and it's weird that you can use it everybody else goes
crazy when they touch it and at the same time SCP yeah there you go just all of it so so so so I
guess we can just stop talking about those first two and just say that hey they got a game in the
works they have one game in the works one game see it's like I said they just just those two
just disappear what are you talking about looking forward to oops sounds like it'll be fun might
even be like unless unless that multiplayer game is called like firearms the battle or something
or quantum quantum oops quantum oops because that's a franchise yeah oh no wait Microsoft
owns quantum break oh so here's still Michael reference it no Microsoft owns quantum break
and Rockstar owns Max Payne but Max Payne is a comic inside of no a very very similar
detective is the one that Alan Wake writes about his name isn't Max Payne it's something like
okay so something like Slater hard body you know there are legal distinct reasons that they
have to stay separate yeah okay but it uses Max's voice actor sure sure but but like but in
actuality there is a there is a an ownership yeah thing happening okay but quantum break is fully
owned by Microsoft that's their baby so if they wanted to they could reference similar but they
couldn't ever they'd be like this one time a guy that played a character on Game of Thrones
traveled through time yeah no not that guy the other actor to play the character you know got it
got it okay all right all right and also in control the the doctor is being played by
Alan's Alan Wake's actual actor what's his name the the guy with the glasses and the live
code that does all the presentations sure yeah that's that's straight up actually just Alan
Wake yeah they um more franchises need to zoom out yeah I like that I like the idea that every
like game companies properties all just somehow coexist just a little itty bitty you know how
every men in black movie came out but it doesn't matter because we're all just marbles that's right
it's almost so like it's like who cares it's like in Capcom whenever I see Zennie I'm like yeah of
course it's Zennie mm-hmm mm-hmm more things need to turn a Gundam yes okay well anyway people like
crossovers and I say that with my eyebrow raised for those of you who are in on it well anyway the
sequel to 20 xdx is gonna be called 30 xdx and that is the game that is the of course it is you
know the Mega Man yeah inspired one that's pretty cool and looks like yeah man that was fun roguelike
Mega Man action sprites look way better this time around the number one thing that I felt about
the last one and we played it for a bit and had some fun with it the number one thing I felt was
that it still felt like a flash game and it looks like they've tightened up a lot of that so now it
it really does resemble the sort of like pixel-based Mega Man action you don't really get those you
know new grounds feeling vibes off of it that's a really specific feel but I don't know exactly what
you're talking about vector art sliding around the screen it's the slide the slides like your
character skating yes and it's when it's a character made up of like each limb is a piece of art
that's like independently animating from each other yeah they got rid of that so 30 xdx looks way
better so that's great that's great that's gonna be dropping in over a year from now all right well
we'll remember it then but the announcement and trailer have dropped so that's cool 30 xdx
you shouldn't be allowed to announce things ahead anymore I you're silly we've you have this thing
where waiting for games sucks yeah and because of that and because like you're like I rather not
know and the announcement thing like you just I don't like you just they shouldn't let people do
it you're silly you're fucking silly all right there's no you just need to learn how to temper
your fucking patience no I don't want to just don't tell me and now I hate it now I hate it
because I don't have it that's right fucking and I hate you because I don't have it completely
irrational you know sometimes it works sometimes and it's on let's be real it's awesome when we
get the random drops yeah it's awesome every time it's awesome right but I like if you know there's
there's a certain threshold after which like I'd say if you know a game is being made for years
then it then you feel time drag on a lot longer if you're really looking forward to it so Bayo
3 is now becoming oh man something that is like when it's not dropped so when a trailer doesn't
come out today is Monday February 17th right mm-hmm are you familiar with an ancient meme that was
made around the time of Bayo 3's announcement like a couple months later which was a dude putting
like a bucket of water over a door waiting for waiting for news yes and it was day one day to
day 817 yeah day 817 is March 3rd okay of this year of this year which means that like the it's
always humorous to me when a ridiculous exaggeration yeah becomes real yeah and come on what the fuck
guys we waited for and got to Final Fantasy 7 remake we lived a life for Shenmue 3 no that's
different that's different I think I think like I mean 30 xdx put out a trailer you said yeah
so thumbs up that's fine I'll live yes but I think like what is actually infuriating is games
like Bayo 3 SMT 5 comes to mind a logo and a logo and a fake CG cut scene agreed and maybe one day
agreed like fuck off right the we do it when you have nothing to say okay but the we do it one
was actually great sure but but but like I will agree that a logo and a nothing is not great it's
not good don't do it you don't need to do don't do it I don't want a logo and a nothing but sometimes
the pressure to do to say something excuse me at an event yeah everyone is really expecting you to
say something where then they're like okay do you cave or do you disappoint everybody when you
have nothing to say I get that but what all they're doing is taking that pressure and taking it off
of it of themselves and putting them on to us well yes but the whole the but even telling you and
then you getting disappointed that it's gonna take so long is still on you anyway you know so if
you're a baby that has diapers and you need to be powdered before we change them you know what I
mean like it's like do we do we drop this on do I'm not gonna listen to you say okay that's for a
person who doesn't even get excited for some games to come out no no no no what I am saying is no
matter what happens no matter what happens it's on the audience at a point but you're gonna you're
gonna have to see it as this right there's times when you have a moment where everyone really wants
to hear something at an e3 at an evo or something like that and you're on a stage right and you're
like okay we can drop a logo now and dead silence for two years that's that's like it seems like
the worst possible idea in the world don't fucking do it and a lot of those games canceled like a
lot of those games could cancel you know if you have it seems like you can do it if you have an
existing thing out in a franchise like if KOF 15 yeah it's like yeah that'll happen and I go yeah
that'll happen but KOF 14 is here and people you know what I mean that is like yeah all right
there's a thing right you're just saying the next thing might happen yeah um but like that the the
and then the other the other option is like you don't do that and then you have dead silence
show it when there's something substantial you know what's a good test of this is that ff7
remake is gonna have sequels uh I think it would be a really dumb idea for like six months from now
to go the sequel to ff7 remake is in development with like a like a 10 second key art trailer yeah
it's like don't everybody fucking knows yeah you don't have to actually announce it just show
something when something exists I think I think the right way to look at this is probably follow
Kickstarter rules yeah right if your Kickstarter video has no footage to show and it's just you
talking at a desk about your thing yeah you can you yeah but it's much more convincing and people
will be way happier and more willing to support it if you can show off some actual progress you
know what's interesting there's an example that I have that I just realized that is the reverse of
this it is a game that has been out for years and years and years I don't know what fantasy
star online 2 looks like at all okay I don't know what I know the opening cut remember we made a
joke about how the one of the playable characters is Virgil yeah that's the only screenshot I have
ever seen a fantasy star online 2 okay because right away it became very obvious that that game
was not going to come out here and that maintained for I want to say six seven years and as my brain
went I'm not gonna be able to play that in English officially mm-hmm I just went don't look at it so
every time like a trailer would like don't look at it you'll only get sad hmm what about now now
I'm like I don't even know what to look at if I wanted to start to look at it I guess I'll wait
until the PC version has a beta or something like that yeah max played it the other day right yep
but now now I mean the opposite thing now it's a MMO that's been out for years and years and
so how can I how can anyone just start playing it now is it's time just over right and it's such a
weird situation yeah so so all that to say that it's like there is a lot of weirdness where
announcements and the feelings that come with them are like they're on the audience to some degree
and then they're on the publisher to some degree but I think the safest and smartest thing to do is
announce when you have something to show cyberpunk was ridiculous do you remember the original thing
for that wasn't it just the CG it was just a CG lady yeah and it was one of those trailers that
it's just a 3d scene yeah it was fucking incredible it was really cool and it was in 2015 or something
like it was was way before Witcher 3 came out mm-hmm and the quote was yeah we're not even gonna
start working on it until over a year from now mm-hmm and everyone was like what what are you why
why did you even but if a project is gonna take some time 2013 wow it was 20 fucking seven years ago
okay yeah right what now now at the same time if a project is going to take some not seven years
obviously yeah gonna take some time and like there's and you're seeing full gameplay and like you're
following it as that time is closing the gap yeah and you're like that to me is like okay well
they're making it it's fine you don't need to get impatient and mad about the fact that it's not here
yet you know I think you can be more reasonable when you're able to follow that progress so here's
where I get here's where I am a confusing hypocrite on my own thing because I don't care when games
that get delayed anymore yeah which brings the release date farther away yes but I don't want
games to be announced until six months before they come out okay even if they later get delayed so
if they lie to you and put a fake release date and then just delay it I guess my brain will
utilize that and it'll be fine that was that was kind of what I was wondering I guess it'll be
I was wondering about that because we both agree that when we see that delay and go yeah make it
better it'll be better yep we good we know that thumbs up right don't join the anger of that
moment because you know that you'd rather not play I'm not I'm not tall anymore and I'm not
buying one game a year or whatever the fuck you know no shortage right of things to spend to
grab your attention right so you're fine but yes when you know it's further away it doesn't feel
good so now lie to you it's coming out tomorrow it's it's just I mean that's always the best we've
delayed it's a 2021 it's just like Capcom's been doing it really well lately where games get
announced and then it's within about a year they're here yeah there's been nothing it's great
there's been nothing I like there's rumors always bubble for a long time yeah I mean devil may cry
five fucking god everybody knew for a long time and when I say new I'm gonna say no in quotations
yeah because you're paying attention you're like what's so and so working on and the answer would
be nothing yeah but but but devil trigger to controller in hand was less than a year or about
a year I want to say it was one year yeah so because we decided to start the LP series shortly
thereafter yeah so that's it you know um that's that's about fine resident evil three was real
fast because Ari Ari two came out in January of last year and Ari three got announced like two
months ago so you know what you know what that means then you know it's actually optimal bubble
with secrets and leaks for all as as early as possible as you can and then let the fever pitch
be nice and high but still no official state so that when you announce it everybody goes oh
fucking finally oh thank god oh geez and but all the thoughts are already there and all the feelings
are already there and you don't have to have any like hey man hey I don't want to talk we didn't
say anything but what is it gonna come out I don't know we didn't what what is what going to come
out that nothing that we're working on plausible deniability maximum advantage like there's a
there's like a bunch of games that I'm pretty sure everybody knows are being worked on just by well
what are they working on and they're all like right and you just you add a number of certain games
motherfuckers are updating their LinkedIn accounts right and you just go well and then it becomes
for people who are way too inside like us go when are you gonna officially announce a jackass
hmm right but that's a whole different fucking thing but yeah that's what you want you want the
yes I'm talking about bloodborne to obviously clearly you want the the what is what's the
what's the phrase the fucking something secret the it's like the not secret secret oh the open
secret or whatever yeah just like everyone's talking about it everyone kind of knows but
you don't have any official pressure on your hands right yeah okay well anyway like hello
there's a good example there's gonna be a port of spider-man for ps4 for the ps5 yeah but how do
we know that even though it hasn't been announced oh because they showed it in their tests yeah
also but they're working on a new one yeah that was the other story or whatever let's get a move
on though yeah let's do it okay so there's that uh fucking rad news on this tell me your rad news
Castlevania season three oh man it looks so good so I like the and it's not directly tied to a
specific Castlevania I was going to ask this is the one question I had after watching this
trailer I wanted to know I'm like is there a game it is it is taking place in between three and
darkness okay so they would start putting in teaser bits for Hector getting out of his sex cage
but we're but we're still following the trio from three yeah so okay and then there's a little bit
in that trailer that made my brain go oh and it's hold on a second Belmont's aren't magicians
right mm-hmm they're but they but they use magic they're holy as fuck in a bunch of the games yeah
they get a fire whip they get the Grand Cross and then you see this trailer go out and it's like
oh because modern Belmont's are descendants of Trevor and Sifa they know a little bit of magic
just enough to light the whip on fire just enough to do a Grand Cross it's in the blood it's
still it's still there their health sings but also they got a little bit of that the end of that
trailer is Grand Cross is that what he's doing if you frame by frame it there's a cross frame in
there I didn't know what he was doing oh that'd be cool okay that's exciting I didn't know he could
do that he can't okay okay okay got it got it got it got it cool cool cool cool that's exciting
now here's my other question right again I'm a Castlevania outsider checking this out and loving
this animated series would you guys as Castlevania fans rather the continuing adventures of this
world or a gradual movement through the numbers so they're gonna do assuming the success continues
I can see a gradual movement through the numbers because Alucard gets to be in a lot of them yeah
maybe not as a main character but you can cut to him chilling in the castle whatever the fuck
are you down with Trevor not being around anymore in order to get to Symphony and then
eventually I have a feeling that we're gonna see Curse of Darkness dramatically curtailed into
two episodes of season three right the Hector's gonna go to the fucking castle and fuck Isaac up
and that'll be ongoing alongside the original story because Curse of Darkness sucks ass like
these characters in this world is great right this is great but but are you down to get to
Soma eventually at season four I would imagine we're gonna be going to our fucking caveman
Conan looking motherfucker Simon yeah you gotta who will know how to do who will be a much beefier
Belmont and huge man gigantic and this is and this is the thing right if you guys if you got
like again I'm not you know I'm the secondary here yeah I'm the secondary need a time skip from
this story it's for Dracula but if you guys if you guys right the Castlevania fans if you're
willing to let this shit Jojo yeah if you're willing to let it has to right literally has
to yeah yeah and I love you know me I love when time moves right but I but I know that not everybody
wants that some people are like no I want more of my Trevor and my adventures there's tons of
cool people that they can hang out with about how tired Dracula gets to be oh he gets to be so
tired by the end of this shit like when Simon shows up and you have a whole new Belmont and
he's like oh my god I'm finally alive again this is the shit looks out the window and he sees
the vampire killer growing through as it's like and like he's full of all this spunk and vigor
and he's like you steel men souls you know and that well here's the thing that's way out there
but that's that season like six seven but that's what I'm saying dude like you know when he's
sitting on the throne and he's just and he's got his hand on his head and his hair's wine and
his hair is white now he's fucking done and why wouldn't he be think about how tired he was when
we first saw yeah episode one check out super checked out yeah you know that trailer has a lot
of great stuff and it legions in there the giant ball of humans all sorts of shit yeah I can see
season three being just just skip through curse of darkness as soon as you can and then four would
be Castlevania 1 and it would be just that and then five would be Castlevania 2 if this if this
JoJo's through time and we get all these seasons coming out and they're all quality short little
short little groups of episodes that are all like perfect representations of the games that they're
moving through I will become a huge Castlevania there there's only one show there's only one thing
that I think might be a problem yeah it is I don't know of who the fuck Simon's gonna hang out with
yeah as secondary characters talk to your whip bro you know what fine but he's got he's got a
Bible about you know I'm saying I'm using my brain powers I think season six is the earliest we
can get Maria and and a Richter and Alucard how about this how about like price no seven would be
Alucard is fucking around with him as he's going through the castle yeah and death is fucking
and he's like Tee hee hee yeah and he's like get away from me asshole and there you go right
Simon's got death to talk to yeah and you know succubus and the whole gang is there the whole
all the Warriors yeah yeah yeah yeah dude I would get so in I would get so in because they already
made the most important decision they could make in this animated series and that was to skip
Lament of Innocence and relegate Leon to a painting on the wall and one line of dialogue we moved
past it because Lament of Innocence predates Dracula and was terrible right and it's terrible but
also but fuck that it predates Dracula yeah so who gives a shit right yeah yeah who gives a fuck
um what was it if we get to season 10 then you'll finally be able to see the war of 1999 yeah
which the games have been no WrestleMania pointing no because you got to go through
Castlevania bloodlines and then you got to go through what was the was the 3ds one three
no those are those are post but wait wasn't the sequel to Picard wasn't the sequel to Picard you
know exactly what I mean I don't know what you mean okay Picard follow me here follow me here
follow you Patrick Stewart was the voice narrator oh shut up in so back in in in the the new
Castlevania which lords of shadow I tested lords of shadow that's shit is okay doesn't
exist and lords of shadow 2 is 1999 is not just go to hell isn't it no it is also go to hell
that's not super that's not what anyone is talking about no one is talking about that
that is the mercury steam the sequel to Picard is 1999 this is terrible and you need to stop
no one's no one's given a shit about that not a single not a single fuck dude dude listen
when I was testing that shit and like I was doing compliance on it so like there's a bunch of it
that I didn't necessarily see but there was also all I remember is just that that it's I don't
know if it's a loading screen or the opening cutscene of him walking and it's just him like
that's all that game is to me it's an it's an it's a crowd control button and then it's big
shouldered man walking while a map is moving over him and a transparent lords of shadow
one was better than it should have been it was fine but I think the biggest like bummer about it
was that it had almost nothing in it that was like yeah Castlevania there's a single reference
to vampire killer the song in the game and it's like okay so when did 1999 happen 1999 happens
after after rondo of blood and then symphony of the night then the fucking whip gets passed down
to the moriscans due to a fucking curse that you said what do you mean and then as in it happens
after yeah though in Castlevania bloodlines takes place after symphony of the night yes but and they
give the vampire killer to the moriscans because Richter fucked it up and cursed it by becoming
Dracula's bullshit okay and then you get Castlevania bloodlines and you totally do get
portrait of ruin you're right you get portrait of ruin after that then there is you remember in
do you ever play Castlevania what's it called fucking circle circle the moon or DS or whatever
I play they reference the war of 1999 they sure do which is the Julius Belmont with his cowboy
looking shit gets the whip back and kills Dracula for good for real z's and it is Dracula's castle
and acts like a world war from the castle and Julius kills him beyond all recognition he will
never come back and here's Soma for some reason what game what game is a genia aricado from he is
from I didn't play circle of the moon or the those ones but he's at least from or he's at least
from dawn of sorrow okay and he runs a Japanese yeah company I need that yeah I want more of that
he literally just dies his hair I need listen look at me look at me I'm looking I need that yeah
that we're talking season 14 15 right now I don't give a fuck that is what I need okay black haired
alucard in the suit is like like choice that's very far away that's very far away it is the coolest
thing I have ever see there is literally I don't that picture I don't know shit it's just alucard
in a so clean it's just him in a suit it's so cool and he dies his hair old person from the past
looking modern with the cool shit with the time in the suit it's fucking great it's great I love
literally alucard in a suit way way in it reminds me of the motherfucker from Death Note
delete delete delete delete I don't know what you're talking about Kira's Kira's lackey I don't know
either death notes I don't know about the the the the anime or the Netflix adaptation Mikami
Mikami is the name anyway Teru Mikami is very similar in that that way but you also very cool
part of that don't I like to okay yeah yeah yeah I like it just go see some Matt Hardy wrestling
matches and get it out of your system nah bro it's got a V alucard in the suit with the black hair
I don't I don't get it for somebody who's not a Castlevania mark this is a bizarre like singular
oh man that's the cool bit though I really like I really like alucard in general so seeing him in
the future in like fucking choice clean and if I remember right him and Julius are the ones that
fucking shut it down in 99 okay but so you're down for this this journey there's a there's it can
go it can go like 15 seasons now how now how now how it's not gonna Netflix though Netflix will
probably kill it after this one it's probably done there's too much which sucks yeah Dracula upon
resurrection is a thing I would love to see because he's still depressed see who's who's
bankrolling Jojo right like anime anime seasons can just get forever rolling you know can we get
some kind of David productions animated horse technology so we can get part seven they're
already working on the horse tech bro they're already doing alternative companies have nothing to
do with it they're trying to figure out there are 10 people at David production right now like
scanning a horse maybe we can make the horse not look like shit in anime you don't understand dude
horses are tough you thought berserk was bad I did think berserk was bad and I was right because
it's terrible okay okay okay okay I know you haven't read it right yeah but you know you know the
role that horses play yeah they're all over the place what if they said the only way to animate
steel ball run is to remove the horses entirely Johnny can't fucking walk chair he wheelchairs
it wheelchair run he wheelchairs it the whole way that what if that's the only way in wheelchairs
otherwise the show is cancelled I'd be yeah Jojo is canceled I'd be done with it or we get rid of
the horses are you okay with yeah I'm fine I'm gonna shit that'd be hilarious that'll that'll
result in a hilarious like did you know anime factoids like did you know that in the original
manga version of steel ball run they rode horses instead of wheelchairs did you know that the
original manga was called steel ball run and not wheelchair run oh that's true wait they're not
riding steel balls there else that would that would only make he's not running no he's not
Johnny Joestar is not a sprinter he's a little a little uh little yeah can have a hard time with
that one not gonna make it not gonna make it don't let it be said that not being able to have
use of your legs would could ever stop you from vogue posing certainly not he finds his ways he
finds his ways um dude fuck it ditch the horses then this might be a spoiler question but I
wouldn't think so it does the story start and he and he loses the ability to use his legs or is
he just unable to walk from the page one I'd rather not answer that okay that's fine yeah
um anyway the the the idea of of Castlevania taking its time right and here's the problem too
there's a lot of time so when I saw Castlevania season three like announced I thought it was
gonna be just straight up curse of darkness and then it cuts to continuing on from season two
and like oh all right then I guess we are gonna take our time okay what if right Netflix just said
hey guys right this is doing well it's not doing that well yeah that we're gonna fucking
bankroll you forever yeah but let's say we're giving you exactly 15 more episodes okay divide
them however you want all right what would you do because one episode for one arc is you can't
right to pull one game into one episode would be a bad idea you do five for Simon three for
cast for Castlevania one two for Castlevania two then you pour all the remainder into Symphony
of the night and rondo of blood five ten for Symphony of the night and rondo hold on five
for Simon yeah three for one two for two yeah and then you do five for Symphony you do you do four
for rondo six for Symphony and then you're done we went past 15 no that's four six three two is 15
okay sorry okay the way you said that we said five for yeah I know I know yeah okay that was but
yeah no you you do cast when you wanted to because skipping them would be fucking weird so you'd so
you stop at Symphony yeah Symphony's the important one huh and anything afterwards would be a bonus
I did 20 no I didn't you said five for Simon yeah that means five are now gone yes right then three
for one no no no sorry sorry sorry sorry three for one and two for two yeah yeah that's the
break out of five for Simon that's the five and then ten for rondo and Symphony ten for rondo
which would be four for rondo six for Symphony okay okay okay that's 15 and then and then you
kick it there interesting so you wouldn't want to give each one a little bit less in order to
squeeze a bit more of the future in there no because Castlevania wanted to or I mean Dracula
fucking comes back and Simon alone beats him down and he also kills death yeah um in that in
that process wait when death is around he kills death Symphony he kills death he beats death to
death and then death comes back because he's death yes thank you okay interesting okay I don't know
if anyone if people are agreeing with you on on ending at Symphony but what do you want to give
Symphony tonight like two episodes go to hell no but but it seems like folks want to take it at
least as far as area of sorrow so hard to say as I never played area of sorrow I don't really
have a strong connection to it fair enough okay okay I touched it because I'd rather go and fucking
do order of Ecclesia order of Ecclesia area of sorrow because you know it kicks ass because she has
the tattoo on her back that shows you where the only remaining dry land is so you don't give
him you don't really care about soma then I don't really care about a lot of people like
soma I know he's a very popular character I am aware of this I think a lot of people would want
to see it get as far I don't care as much for his gameplay gimmick I don't like the the the absorb
a shit zillion abilities rabbits but plot wise yeah okay the problem I always have a soma is
that everything soma is doing sucks ass compared to the backstory of those games which is the world
war against hell of 1999 and it's like what is that oh well the whole planet was enveloped by
darkness during an eclipse and Dracula was going to destroy the earth and Julius and
Alucard fucking killed him so hard he can't resurrect anymore see I thought you were going
to say the problem you had with soma was that every time you picture him doing actions they're
being done in really cheap cell shading no as opposed to a painterly beautiful it's the thing
that creates soma is cooler than soma hmm hmm yeah well see it seems like that's not the that's
not like they killed Dracula's soul like let the records show that most people disagree with that
all right that's but uh I don't know I certainly don't know but I definitely would I hope I hope
I hope that they do get the bandwidth to at least get to symphony I don't think many people would
be all that upset if they skipped one and two and went straight to symphony and and right because
that's a whole lot of alucard yeah a whole lot of alucard he's very popular um we can we can
give him a some time mouth we can give him some downtime yeah while we're wrapping those other
stories up because the whole like because one and two like the way it ends up working out I mean
they obviously weren't written designed whatever the fuck like this one and two are like yeah alucard's
asleep when Dracula right it's right it's just not around right and here's the other thing right
the way these at least these episodes were done don't forget how compelling and interesting like
some of those side characters were that are nobody in those games I hope um what's the what's the uh
the black guy um his his servant there Isaac yeah so Isaac is about a million million shit zillion
times cooler in this anime adaptation than he ever was in curse of darkness so like shit like that
you can watch you can you can dedicate more time to fleshing out characters like him yeah and you
want to see where they go I'm there's one thing that I'm hoping for this season that is kind of a
ass pull but you saw in the trailer uh alucard attacks a guy to scare him yes outside the castle
yes I hope that's Grant because the the there are four playable characters in Castle 83 and it's
Trevor Sifa Alucard and Grant the thief so this would be the place to introduce this would be the
oh hey I was coming to rob Dracula's castle now the Dracula's dead and Alucard's like get the
fuck out of my house and now that the story's over he shows up in season three yeah yeah okay and then
he helps them fuck up Camilla or whatever sure sure yeah okay I'm down I'm down um
although uh oh I forgot his name is Grant Denasty Grant Denasty
does anyone on this piece of key art look like him hey that's sick cans you just knocked over
many cans don't worry about those cans move a piece of key art over here uh key art
no okay I don't know who that guy at the top is though dude's clutching he's clutching pearls
yeah clutching pearls okay well anyway we'll see where this goes but also they're going weird on this
because there's a bunch of like like asian belmonts yeah and or whatever the fuck's going on with that
like that definitely never came in yeah maybe you know what maybe that's gonna be their little
their little tease for why alucard would move to japan in the future
is that genya arcado he's a japanese man in the future yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay
is is alucard in yellow face
he's rather pale pat he's very very pale but he's like pretending to be japanese no he's just very pale
he's also a weeaboo I'm just asking questions which let's face it of all the cultures he would
adopt yeah someone like him so yeah in symphony of the night he found a katana and he was like
I would like to know more about this I'm interested in this I have to I have I have to kill dad again
of course yeah yeah he says I'm interested in this and then he finds out where the katana came from
you know what you know what I want I you know I want some Castlevania one and two to show up
because Castlevania one he gets killed again immediately upon resurrection and then Castlevania
two he's mid resurrection and simon kills his corpse right he's just a throwaway fucking
boss no you're you're getting his corpse parts to to to bring him back a little bit so you can
kill him harder okay so that leads us to Castlevania's rondo where he's back again and he's a yeah
which lets him look out the window and see another Belmont with another whip coming to his house
later and just like oh you know just fuck again again with the motherfucking whip I hate that whip
everyone needs to feel tired I also want to point out that in the in when he gets hit by that whip
in the second season he point he implies that he has already been hit by that whip in the past
he recognizes it by name in in Castlevania season two episode seven when he gets hit by it
he goes whoa wow the morning star whip good job it implies that like one of the older dudes beat on
him with it before and lost nondescript Belmont in between Leon and Trevor
okay like there's a real not again to to this yeah yeah yeah no I'm just I'm trying to imagine
who that would be but okay um excited big excite Dracula and Ganon they have the same energy
but Ganon is Ganondorf yeah like like it's it's fresh for him every time yeah Ganon
is probably tired yeah but they both look out the window and they see that asshole with that one
stick they always have they go fuck again with this but the great but you see that the great part
if anything if nintendo ever had the like the balls to make it to let it rock right would be that
Ganon is the only being in the world that actually might have that memory whereas even Link and Zelda
and Dorf and everyone involved it's all fresh and first experiences for them but like yeah the
demon itself and the stick you know yeah definitely it's like it's another fucking wrong the one last
thing that I want to say to the the gang in the chat watching this who are saying calling it the
morning star is lame compared to the vampire killer to my knowledge the morning star whip
is not the vampire killer in fact I believe that the regular ass looking whip that Trevor has
in that trailer is the vampire killer also I like the name morning star because in addition to being
a reference to the in addition to being a weapon name it is also uh similar to what lucifer calls
himself lucifer loves being the morning star that's what he is so I think that's very cool
I want to see grand cross kill like a thousand dudes
you know you want that camera to zoom out and just keep going well because they're they're
they're in a room with a bunch of demons attacking them but do you want it grand cross to go off and
if they're just smears on the wall all the way around okay but do you want it to be like that
that like holy nuke or do you want the video game float into the air as the things circle
around him and the full on no I want I want it to be like a burst like a bomb okay okay the holy
nuke like a jesus bomb yeah and then the dust settles and it's just like like monster and vampire
shapes on the wall I would like to see the float I would be super down to see the float into the air
and as as campy and as ridiculous as it is in the game too go for it drop that collar and I want
one of the villains to have seen it and go fuck what the fuck is that yeah yeah totally totally
yeah is that what he's doing well that's really that's totally grand cross super hype that that's
what he's doing I didn't count I didn't catch it and it'd be the and it'd be the first grand
cross ever yeah it would be it would have to be right certainly because he like otherwise I mean
what like Simon's pulling those out all the time but yeah like Simon and Richter just know how to do
it just doing it yeah they get out they get a crucifix and they're like yeah yeah
it's a nuke yeah
expect
oh man that move is is ridiculous to be fair like if you're a fucking vampire spawn like that
shit is busted all right all right yeah um it's the same Castlevania is dead well
oh a bummer oh well yeah you know um a couple other small things not much we can just roll
through them real quickly let's do it uh one um we know that um not too long ago our buddy George
got to be go hands on with the Nintendo PlayStation it is currently up for auction if you feel like
dropping upwards of a quarter million dollars it can be yours
nah you sure i'm good you're good i'm good okay well the the the Nintendo PlayStation
aka the console that is a basically a super nintendo that was being worked on to play discs
um are there any games for it that they were going to it has a it has a Famicom slot up top
and a disc slot in the front yeah but I mean does it play any disc games I think you could
pop SNES games into the SNES cartridge okay I don't think you can plot most expensive super
nintendo ever made yes um if you feel like it now they I don't know how far the auction has gone
along uh we can take a look and see but it was pretty high up there okay let's be in a museum
instead of like yeah that's the problem it's kind of a private collection agreed and that that's
currently what is being discussed the problem the that what sucks right now is that this one might
go in someone's private collection and disappear forever yeah uh but there is at least again like
um you know george was able to do a big write-up on it a big video for it and then there was um
extensive footage of you know people like checking it out and whatnot but for the most part
we've got the current bid at 350 thousand dollars sick that's a waste of money man yeah the only good
reason I could see to spend that much cash on something like that is the idea that 10 years
from now you can flip it for a double whatever the fuck you bought it for possibly possibly but it
would be sad if this just went into the same disappeared the same vacuum it came out of yeah
right essentially it just disappears into one you know you want to you want this to go into a museum
so now that being said apparently I remember this was like found in somebody's attic or something
this was someone who yeah no it was uh got the whole story was like it was in a um
a seized collections locker there was a someone had all their property in a locker storage locker
and the unit got set up for it got sent to uh uh auction yeah and then it got auctioned off and
they didn't know what it was or something like that so whoever picked up this thing on auction for
probably yeah cheap yeah um I'm not gonna tell you not to sell this for half a million dollars
no that's a life changer no you should do that yeah but ideally the buyer should be a museum
so the guys whose hands it was in when um when bunny hopped uh looked at it was like uh it was
like a father who acquired it from the company he was working at and like his son knew what it was
okay type of thing so they were able to like you know kind of figure out what to do but uh
yeah I don't know I just I just hope it doesn't exactly I hope it doesn't disappear uh so that's
what's happening um the other thing was uh we hinted at the fact that there was some sort of
Bioware news last time but we didn't know what the fuck it was what is it well it turns out they're
reworking Anthem uh they're gonna be oh yeah the news post we couldn't read yes a substantial
reinvention of Anthem is currently announced um Anthem next slash Anthem 2.0 uh apparently
and uh basically it's them going hey sorry the game was not what you wanted it to be
and we're gonna be doing it again I have a pro tip for people in game development
this is the kind of drama best seen prior to the game's release
hey best case scenario they know man sky it yeah but like think about the timeline on that
that's what they're no no there's you can't you can't they're talking about it now the game's been
out for six months no it's money no it's bound for almost a year money has been spent or not
the game's almost a year old and they're like maybe we should make it good
uh so it's at least a year away from now right I'm I'm I'm I am I am shocked that they did not
just completely abandon ship I'm also shocked but I guess it was because of the like
at like the the game plan was for this to be a platform to last for years so I guess they have
some unspent money that would be allocated to possibly future things that could come in here
we have a we have a good quote from our good old friend plague of gripes says uh strike after
strike while the blacksmith has quit for a year like the iron isn't cold the shop has
closed just fuck it this is nonsense he also sent me an article entitled scientists find a mysterious
ghost lineage in the dna of west africans researchers find evidence of a still unknown humans
interbred with our ancestors plague what the fuck is this he sends me a cute animal videos what am I
what am I what am I looking at hold on I don't know what else did I don't know he sends me all sorts
of stupid shit this is breaking breaking it's the headline breaking a screenshot of a tumblr
post where somebody figured out that people have a fetish of blondes over stocking their shopping
carts ghost lineage in the dna of west africans well all right science in the meantime our west
africans descended from ghosts is that the implication I mean yeah we're all descended from ghosts
because our ancestors are dead yes yes is this the secret behind the pharaoh box
find out uh wait hold on my fuck it's kashima's shit is so stupid that I literally can't even
think up something that would rival things that he has actually done like I couldn't think of an
exaggeration dumb enough especially since destraining has all that egyptian shit in it
yeah I also was able to track down the source of genius cojumbo it was that mobile ripoff game
called yes and the last trend or whatever the last trend and it was like find out the new story
from genius genius cojumbo yes yeah no indeed it was yeah um
yeah anyway whatever tight stood for tatanka men yeah but also total ultra tech that's right total
ultra tech which is one of the manufacturers of the pharaoh by oh my god and king tut's been alive
this whole time he has he's taking revenge on earth for the desecration of his mask
ruling from kairu which did you know that kairu
did you know that the word air is in the middle of kairu and that's why the city can fly no it's
because it's and it's all and and the citizens care a lot about the air that's so much worse
it the it makes no sense it's the it's the air isn't even a language there is the most important
thing to the people from kairu this is so bad so because they care about the air
this is one of those things where my first thought is is the name of uh the city even the same in
it's in the native language of the people who live there you know how like countries change names
depending on what language you're speaking so it's like using english puns on this and but the name
of the thing a fuck it my name is john pyramid my name is john pyramid and i am the pilot of the
farro oh man oh the alien force you know what they're called they're mummies but it's like
it's like m-u-m-e-e-z and it's a horrible acronym mummies yeah they're mummies they're mummies
that's right yeah yeah yep a-lowercase n00b-is yeah
it's fucking so stupid oh my god
all right
i can't like i'm just thinking about all the desk branding names
and how stupid they all are and how they became dumber over time except for that one
there was that one that was good that you pointed out yep
that one got way better as the game went on well no i you only get it at the last
first name for most of the game yes you do and then you get to the end you're like
hey man you see the fucking last of this weapon bench i did
fuck looks good fuck yeah looks good oh playing with guns seems cool wow you want to go get some
guns and play with them yes all right that's what we're gonna do so simple so simple all you do
is you upgrade your weapons in the last of us two and you see the person upgrade them and you see
it happen in real life and you know what most certainly and as what to be expected people that
know the shit out of their guns are like hey you're doing it wrong of course but but that's okay
because they're dumb and it's the post apocalypse but this is also well not even that it's just more
along the lines of yeah but this is the first time i've ever seen a video game even bother
trying to attempt this type of shit yeah it's so fucking clean i like the part where she uses
the the grinder to sand down because it feels like a real thing yeah yeah and i'm like oh my god
it's re4 weapon reloading to the next level yeah because you just work on your guns on the bench
you know and it's something as simple as like having a character working on the things that
you're doing in the menus yeah whole like that's nice i like it right yeah and this could apply
to anything if i if i'm if i'm putting new parts on my mech i want to see like the fucking i want
to see a crane pick up the new arm i want to see nico putting the pieces on the thing yeah you know
we want to see roll hitting it with her wrench or winery whichever you same thing yeah that is the
same thing same thing that is the same thing you know fucking solid man god anyway that was cool
i liked it a lot i enjoyed it all right let's take some letters all right if you want to send
in a letter to this here podcast you can send it to castle super beast mail at gmail.com
castle super beast mail gmail.com yeah someone said wrench winches i like that
i've got a i've got a nut for you to tighten there we go that was actually work that was all right
that was not detestable that was
actually quite functional yeah
i got a bolt already already like it's already like it's dead dead in the water
i got a yeah
i got a screw blue you need to i i i'm gonna screw you yeah tough sacks
like just just terrible looks like you're missing a couple of screws allow me to use my
peen wait no what do you use on a screw a screwdriver that's right
i got a screw that needs stripping no screw ever needs stripping that's bad
it's fucked up yeah it's bad to strip a screw yeah but i got a screw that needs stripping
that's bad don't do that i'm gonna no it's a terrible the sexual analogy analogy of that is
like disastrous it's got a hammer okay nail is a sex word so we got something with hammer
ball peen yeah yeah ball peen uh i like to imagine that woolly and i's musings are one person
saying all of them to a very confused chick at a bar yes yes exactly no no no to one of these
yeah to the one of the aforementioned wrench winches okay so to speak like like like sydney
at and they want nothing to do with it and you're sydney yeah at at 14 at the gas station
and you're like and you they know their shit and you don't and and the dude is looking around
the garage and looking looking for tool looking for tool yeah like looking for inspiration right
yeah yeah totally totally i got a level i got a i got a tape measure yeah well i don't think this
tape measure is long enough and then all you know what that would just fall apart is for like any
of these wrench winches to just turn to said gentlemen and go what do you mean what are you
talking about like it's just a flat tone and then the whole thing then then you just run away you
just run away leave your car just start running just book it yeah
gotta i got a jigsaw that's not a tool wait is i'm thinking of the puzzle i thought you meant
you brought a puzzle jesus christ man yeah there is a saw well what about a band saw there you got
to that's well that's that you know that cuts meat and wood they use a band sawed the meat cutting
okay yeah but that's not its primary use no you can do that too i got i got a lathe you know there's
no lathe in a in a in a fucking garage my dad had a lathe in the garage for what uh fucking working
on wood a car garage yeah oh we didn't keep a car in there okay we kept a million piles of
bullshit no i meant no i get we were talking about someone who's working on like the car
yeah right it's not my dad that's no no no no we're talking about someone who's making the
mechanical yeah okay so you know um
um
tire no got an air pump yeah i'll pump air air got some tires that need filling ma'am
good pump see here's the thing we're saying it with our voices if we set it with like a shittier
like hey yeah like slime voice these would all work no but no but the confidence in that
makes it fall apart yeah you need that you need the guy looking around it's like completely being
ignored as like the sounds of what not scratchy voice right and you need and you need like i'll
i'll i'll change your oil i'll change your oil yeah yeah you want some of this i get it's real
oily over here no wait i don't mean no like it's not like it's not like grease i just mean
gonna need a sham wow to hey what what what oh man there yeah that
so the bit is done and it's a bad bit but i for some reason want to go back into it
right now i'm moving to the emails as my brain is like can we get can we get like a couple more
stupid still racing still doing it falling apart kind of like is there anything to be
done with rotating tires i'm eating for it's falling apart like looks like it's been a while
since you had your tires rotated well put you up on a cinder block that sounds nefarious as
that sounds fucking terrible now the bit is done
what do you what do you mean by that
i'm gonna strip you for part so that i may repair you while your legs are i mean what like
hmm yeah no no good all right we got some emails we got some emails
uh we got an email coming in from uh
that that that that's good
uh mario says subs versus dubs the dumb version got it we saw the solution to this earlier in
the form of a little comic edit where it was like subs and dubs unite over the point that
subs are merely playing the dubs in their minds i'm not i am
hello and sorry for not really having a witty name to call having heard the
pub cuts about subtitles i wanted to share the latest dumb fuckery here in mexico got it we got
a very dumb and absurd presidency right now where the guy in charge wants to raffle away the
presidential plane telling criminals to think their moms think of their moms before doing bad
things and whatnot but right now we're getting personal the federal government is looking to
have all movies regardless of their scope and budget have a dub version in spanish and indigenous
languages for theaters this has sparked a lot of debate because the federal government have to do
like dubbing like foreign and anime films sometimes get limited runs by independent companies who
are barely able to bring them with subtitles many believe this is an attempt to help more people
understand movies but it'll end up scaring these initiatives away if they're forced to invest in
a dub yeah of course they are theaters this year we're supposed to get at least five anime movies
in the theaters nationwide and i would hate that this misguided law might ruin the blooming market
for foreign oh it's not going to ruin the blooming market but what it is going to mean is that uh get
ready for the shittiest dub tracks ever yeah that's the the cheapest mandatory dubs the cheapest
shit they can possibly get away with so the the guy importing it and their cousin do all characters
every single one and then tell you to watch the subversion yeah in fact it's and also none of them
can speak spanish so they're just ballparking it in fact like most of the lines are them kind of
saying what the character starts to say yeah and then ending the line with you should watch it in
subbed yeah um there's a lot of bad fucking french dubs yeah that i have that i have partaken in
because people want to go see the movie theater and they are we're gonna go to the french theater
and it's like mm-hmm not uh yeah how important is your market is exactly proportionable to how good
the dub is going to be in that language so someone in the most tired spanish you can imagine
just saying giga drill break or you should switch to the japanese
yeah i'm down i can only think of one dub ever for a small region that was fucking kick ass
kebec and it's kebec simpsons oh are you forgetting about uh prince of new york
the french version of um coming to america i've never seen that okay well you need to talk to
your find your most quib friends okay right go de sesh de sesh and ask them about coming to america
in french well i mean my most quib friend would be my dad but i don't think he gives a shit about
coming to america find one that is of this relative decade okay or generation all right and ask them
about that it is uh it is a special thing for anyone from kebec that we appreciate now people
are confused by your use of the term quib quib back girl that is a term i believe you invented yes
like 10 years ago correct go back that we have all been using in the in the circle yeah
yes i'm going to kebec why start quib the same quib is it disparaging i wouldn't say so but it is
fun to say kebec what and i gave you permission to do it that's what we are i'm one
i'm born here will you give me squinty eyes for
oh really oh really oh okay i'm oh not no yeah sort of huh not really is that what that is let's
let's backtrack despite the fact that i was fucking shot out right here in montreal kebec
you're getting breathed my first gasp of air you're getting but i'm getting gatecapped you
i'm not really kebec why you started this because you told me to go find my most quib friend to talk
and get a goddamn copy of a french language dub this which you would never watch i asked but i
told you to go to sesh as in like way out there in the places where and i have seen it with some
french friends but i'm saying i'm telling you said to go get my most quib friend which would be a
francophone kebecker way way out way by that logic and you not being a francophone kebecker
not even a little yes yes i'm gonna narrow my eyes because there are degrees
there are you fucking ruined it this whole fucking argument is ruined now there's degrees of
quib there are degrees of quib and and and clearly simply existing here keeps you on
the on the scale on the scale on the scale you're on the scale you're just not all the way on the
on the right slide of the fucking i don't know i disagree i wouldn't say i wouldn't call my mom a
quib oh my mom isn't because she wasn't born here well my mom was but she's like anglophone
through and through yeah but i always internalize quib is meaning francophone she's kebekwa it's
your kebekwa no you're not kebekwa kebekwa or french language uh uh maternal language no kebek
no kebekurs our english language oh my god and the fact that you don't even know that oh my god no
dude kebekwa is the french word for kebekur yes that's exactly so that so that's literally never
heard a french person say kebekur kebekwa no you fucking dumbass you know a person from kebek
is a kebekwa and you're and no well a kebekwa is a no it's a language translation it is a language
translation you don't know what you're talking about that's ridiculous dude it is the french word
for the english word for people that are from this province you're insane
just because you say it like that and you make it and you frame it in that way doesn't mean you're
any more correct about it it is literally a french translation of the word kebekur
mm-hmm so the very first
oh sure enough sure enough yeah i've been wrong my whole life the fuck are you talking about
with so much confidence well they i talk about everything all right
don't worry i won't lord it too hard well turns out i was the fake quebe all along all along
you had the quebes in your veins wait now they're midichlorians now they're midichlorians exactly
anyway um quite frankly
i almost said frankly what is up with your w's right now well q and you
oh but only in quick okay
did you say only in did you mean to say only in french but no no only in quebe because
are you referring to the language all the languages quebe is shit
man i hate you know what no that's not true i don't hate it because we've known for a long
time with like what this is but it's just it's never quite seen the light of day so here we are
here we are explaining the degrees listen dominic wants to ask us a question what's up dominic
hey castle super beast i came across my news feed and i honestly uh didn't know what to make
of no i came across this on my news feed as something and it honestly made me ask what
planet i was on i don't know if you've seen this but i thought it was pretty great even if it is
just the sign for love in esl will kanda forever and there's a link to an article
and the article says as i pull this up right here all right let's see this shit
is that harriet tubman on a bank debit card throwing a wakanda salute it is it is
i saw somebody on my timeline complaining about this like two three days ago
also what's going on with the so like i yeah her head looks like banknote like coloring yeah
but the rest of the photo doesn't it looks like they photoshopped a banknote photo of harriet
tubman onto her head now listen listen okay i understand that that it would be an awesome thing
to have cultural icons yeah heroes like harriet tubman represented on money and so on yeah but
on money's not on a debit card right away no but apparently the money thing's not going through
all right okay apparently that got shut down all right so um but but
on a debit card is already yes it's already far far cry yeah that is a far cry from the
original plan to put it on money but i don't think it's up to the people making this debit card
what i can't say is up to the people making this card is you can't just take you can't
anything who's gonna stop them who's gonna stop them the concept of history what kind
does not real isn't it okay so harriet tubman would have been a huge black pants fan probably
not saying that that's not the case but i am saying oh god you just break your laptop i mean
there we go it's fine it's back
can we just not can we like where do you think the underground railroad was going
canada was just a pitch you was dropping them off in wakanda yeah okay it never got finished it
was supposed to go to wakanda okay so so what you're saying is basically there's nothing wrong
like if we just got we just got mary turner holding up the live long and prosper what's the
problem it's a peaceful sign i'm gonna be real i have no idea who that is oh that's uh okay well
history lesion it's not a fun one all right that's uh that's a lady that got uh strung up all right
and had a baby cut out of her because of racism okay so yeah big old fun bad story no that's not
a good one no i didn't appreciate learning about that no not great no not a great now if you were to
take other other oh live long and prosperous real dark on that one now if you were to take other
cultural heroes throughout black history and other people throughout black history like you
were taking take a mary turner and just have her holding up the live long and prosper and
there's no problem with that we're just gonna go full star trek on it really well see live long
and prosper isn't associated with like african african americans right okay what kind of thing is
so i can understand the thought process but like okay so let's okay all right we can dial it back
all right we can settle for roza parks doing the bat to see there we go i'm good with that okay
i don't know if you know this roza parks adam west best of friends
you let a ride in the front with him in the batmobile
which upon making that joke i realized there is no back to the batmobile
just get a fucking twenty dollar bill with mlk hitting the dab
not by the color of their skin but by how low their dab can reach
all right that's a sick dab
this is the worst oh you know i had to do it to him
there's if you go back in time you probably find mlk standing with that like one hand over the
other stance and just recreate that shit okay well i can't believe that card is real it's really
weird uh y'all need to get one uh i mean before it's pulled i would love to i would
absolutely love so what if it's not only not pulled but it starts a new trend wow okay we start
pushing the history push it well we already did history cool with the kids we literally just did
that yeah we did our ideas are free update update the textbooks
jesus flossing his way out of the cave that is not the same thing that is not the same
i'm just thinking historical figures doing dumb shit no we've we've we've we've swerved off
and we've already seen jesus doing the fucking da da da hey da da da hey we did see that so it's
you know yeah it's about the heritage uh and the commodification thereof
oh boy well yeah marcus gone for you rocking a t-pose i'm down with it i'm down with it
what was that a screenshot from an unreleased marcus carvey video game for power to intimidate
um yeah that's fine that's fine that's a fine podcast we can leave that there we mocked some
historical figures sure did gotten to a race argument which i totally lost yeah uh hey i'm
surprised you know what i'll swerve it back a little bit but i'm surprised you've never
heard of mary turner if you have it you should look that up and read that article i don't think
there's a whole lot of good that will happen in my life by me reading that article knowing
about it is a pretty good yeah i don't i that doesn't seem to be a good one i suggest i know enough
now thank you mm-hmm mm-hmm yeah yeah so happy black history month everybody black history month
you know there's a real great moment the other day when i sat down to start my stream
and page by the way somehow never saw re5 once ever and i and she's like oh cool where does it
take place and i'm like oh sick this will be a lot of fun mm-hmm and then i realized midway into the
stream uh uh shooting our way through kuju oh sick happy black history month everybody
good game to stream
no we have like i just i'm sorry
oh man you didn't see what i said yesterday when you were streaming barfield no plague plague no
what no no play what did he do absolutely not that's not okay what did he do that is not okay
he he wrote
i'm not repeating that shit on the air plague of gripes wrote the main 1918
dabbings and we're done and we're out we're not we're not no that's not we're not
elie went we're not that's the end goodbye everybody all right goodbye
you
you
you
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