Castle Super Beast - SBFC 191: Have You Ever Seen a Zebra Orgasm? (feat. Plague of Gripes)
Episode Date: April 4, 2017This podcast will make you uneasy, and teach you a thing or two about dragons. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/superbestfriendsplay...
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There we go. Alright, everything should be set. Can they hear us? They should be able
to hear us. Hey, hey, bark with me if you're my dog. I'm not your dog. I was talking to
the people at home. Nope. That's what I was doing. Nope. Okay, more importantly, can they
hear me? No. I think they can hear you. I think we can all hear you. We made sure that Eli
couldn't be heard and the whole podcast he will be talking here as a joke. And now the
whole world will hear us. Yeah. Awkward politician speed. I got nothing. Oh, man. I love your both
of you had your voice of I've given up today voice. Dude, dude, I have given up. We had
a we had a scenario. I heard you go to the bathroom and say that as you were using the
bathroom. I can hear you. This is this is give up cast. Listen, this is absolutely okay.
Right before this podcast started, my brain failed me real bad. And will he recorded that?
And I was like, No, I'm not crazy. You're crazy. And he's like playing back a recording
of me being crazy. And I'm looking at it. And I'm like, Hmm. Hmm. And something stupid
too. He's like, Pat, why'd you move the camera? I'm like, I'm looking at video feed.
Moving the camera. Anyway, welcome to give up mania. That was a really fascinating story
you just told. Oh, hey, you know what? You know, I do you lie? Yeah, what? Go ahead. They
the good good being on the podcast with you again. You're cool. That's good to be here,
you bitch. How are both fucks? Yeah. How have you given up this week?
We just going straight into weeks now. No, actually, no, we're not need to go into important,
important discussion points. Okay. And I think it does some you know, it's important.
I have something important, but you can go giving up giving up is pretty important. That's all
I got. Don't ever underestimate the importance of giving up. They make a machine for that.
If you they do, they're working on it. If you ever feel like you have the willpower to push on.
Yeah, don't don't. It'd be easier if you just gave up. That is good advice. Yeah. Yeah.
If you ever see an open grave, just roll right inside. Hey, Willie, what's your big important
thing? Um, all right, look, someone needs to stop these fucks. Someone needs to get out there
and start telling the truth. Okay, about what he pieces of shit. I'm super nervous about what's
coming right now. These fucking, I'm so all right, listen up. There's a conspiracy. Okay.
There's a conspiracy. Scientists are character assassinating the t rex and it needs to fucking
stop. Okay, I'm really, man, by the way, Matt's still in Florida. That's why Willie's taking
the spot this week and and fighting the good fight for dinosaurs. Here's what's up. All right.
Yeah, Matt's Matt's still exactly. He's down there and I'm sure there'll be more than enough
wrestle talk when he gets back. Oh, yes. I heard that the WrestleMania was bad. I heard all
drunk jumped in and there was like FF new days. That's that. Yes. All kinds of crazy shit. Very
weird. I did see Roman Reigns do a power geyser. That was pretty impressive. But but dinosaurs.
Yeah, because Matt will deliver all of that in person when he gets less focus. I was unfortunately
too busy yesterday to get to that. There were no dinosaurs in wrestling at WrestleMania. There
was one and he quit. Well, you know, the dinosaurs, the dinosaurs I like in wrestling
are the ones that come out with Rainmaker's intro. But that's neither here nor there. What is here.
What is now is this article, this piece of this hit piece that's coming out. Okay. Did you catch
this? I saw the title of some nefarious slander against dinosaurs unacceptable plague. Did you
catch this? No, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm assuming it has something to do with
feathers. No, you see feathers over to the left. Yeah, I should do that. Feathers was step one.
All right. Oh, yeah. And we got there. And then I'm in here now. Yeah, we got feathers or step
one. And then the little wooing and purring instead of roaring was step two. That's step two.
The lips. The lips. And now step three says the Tyrannosaurus rex was a sensitive lover
and that its large nose type maw was meant for nuzzling and dinosaur foreplay.
Yeah, I can see that. This is fucking trash. I guess that's why all they can find now
is a bunch of boners. Listen, the T rex was a vicious killer that chewed up shit and his
big ass mouth and big teeth were meant to fucking crush the prey in his and absorb the minerals
and nutrients and everything good from the juicy kills that he got on a day to day basis. Let me
let me play devil side advocate. Well, yeah, because you're already drawing this. Yeah, of
course. Are you suggesting that the T rex can't be a lover but also a fighter? I'm saying that
first you want to tell us about feathers and I'm going to laugh it off and keep on walking.
You want to tell me that the dynamic that the T rex doesn't roar, but it coos and you're like,
okay, you're undoing the entirety of Jurassic Park here. But fine, I can rock with that. But now
you're going to tell me that the T rex in his downtime is a playful, nuzzling little little
like cute thing. Well, they're turning into they're turning the T rex into a Jojo villain.
I would think that you'd be behind this. What you're saying they're adding layers to the depth.
No, yeah, yeah, I'm turning into a sexy piece of shit that loves to kill. But when it comes to
the ladies, you know, he might take their their tiny, tiny, tiny hands with them until they come
out with an article saying that the T rex never killed anybody until they basically pull an akuma
on the T rex. Did you know that the longer the time goes on, the worse akuma gets. Those sharp
teeth were for pulling bananas down from trees. That's what I'm saying. It's not about what we
have at the moment. What we have at the moment, if you want to talk, if you want to fucking justify
it, will be a killer that is also a lover, right? The T rex subsisted on sunshine. But you're not
you're not following the trend here of the character assassination of the T rex and the next three
articles that are going to pull him down to say that he never killed anybody. In fact,
you're going to they're going to turn it into a goddamn vegetarian.
The T rex had sparkle emitters on his face that eclipsed like a halo around his eyes at all times.
You know, they're sparkle. It's going to be trash. They're going to remove carnivore status.
They're going to say and then eventually the last move is going to be this feathery,
cooing, cute little puffin was actually massive, not giant. Yeah, it was actually all the ones
that we found freaks. Yeah, that's exactly what they're going to be. The last step is going to
be it was a little cute pocket sized puffin. And that was your Tyrannosaurus rex. Oh, so it's not
like a giant. It is a slander campaign. And I am not standing for it. Well, there is. At one point,
they did think there were two different kinds of T rexes, one a very tiny one and one a very big
one. But they eventually figured out one was just the baby. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. So I can
imagine them at some point coming out with oh, it turns out that they were basically just gigantic
Pomeranians, this big puff balls. Oh, man, they need 100% feathers. They need to fucking back up.
They need to stay checked. All right. I can't have this. This is a relatively recent phenomenon
because it's only the past couple of generations that have had dinosaurs is like the monster of
culture, right? So back in the day, what do you got your werewolf wolves are scary, you got your
fucking vampires and all your your gobbledygooks, all the things happen to them fucking, you know,
and they're magical and they're not real racial slurs. Oh, come on, that's a that's a fucking
turkey. Your gobbledygooks. Oh, get out of my fucking face. You're trying to throw me under the
bus that you're driving. Okay. But now I drive the school bus now. Oh, but those are all fucking
fake magical creatures, right? Sure. So you there's no fucking worry that Oh, it turns out vampires
are lame. Actually, that also happened. But let's no, but but because dinosaurs are a real
thing that did exist, they have the potential to be demystified. They have the potential
to become way cooler, which we all thought was going to happen when we were kids, we're going
to find super dinosaurs or like, like, what if they have guys and they could shoot guns and whatever,
or we would find out that they were actually super lame, like baby chickens, we can all agree
that the making a cute shark meme is a funny thing. Haha, it's got the little blush each
sharks. Oh, I love those. Right. That's fine. Because we still know that memes aside suck my dick.
I'm a shark. That's a fucking killer. Yeah, it's a juxtaposition. That's funny. We'll destroy you.
Exactly. It'll destroy you and your loved ones and not think twice about it. Yeah, like a cow would
but this fucking Sundare Rex world that we're going towards. I'm not a fan of it. And I think
that like would I don't know who's funding it. I don't know if it's the Flat Earthers behind this
because they're trying to push them no dinosaur agenda. I don't know if they're like, you know,
if it's some some far far extremist movement of like, we need we can't disprove the dinosaurs. So
we need to fucking ruin them. We need to neuter them. And so then people hate scientists. I don't
know what it is. But there's something behind this. We got to follow the money. So your problem
with the T Rex is that it's too much dairy and not enough soon. Not enough soon. That's soon,
soon should be oops, I accidentally ate you. All right. With this. Well, hold on. Would this be
okay if on the flip side, they started releasing more information that says things like the Inclosaurus
was actually way tougher and more badass and like eight flesh and hunted T Rexes or something like
that. If the aggression, yes, if we can compensate elsewhere, right? That's fine. I need to protect
the idea of dinosaurs. You know what is the main goal? So you know what the real problem is, right?
When we're old, and I mean, we were all talking about how we were older before we started, but
like when we're proper old, like 30 years from now, right? Yeah, the kids are gonna laugh at our
dinosaurs. If they're not already, they're gonna be like, Oh, man, look at your stupid, big lizards,
crazy old coot. Yeah, your Jurassic Park loser. And you know what? You know what? If I have my way,
if everything turns out to be exactly the way I wanted, see how they found the goddamn preserved
woolly mammoth? Yeah, right? They found a preserved woolly mammoth. They have its body. They're
working on cloning that shit. They're working on doing what they can. If we can bring back a woolly
mammoth and show you how much of a fucking killer that thing was, maybe that'll put the fear of
God wasn't really a killer, not really a killer, but it is. No, but it was giant, and it was huge,
and it was scary. There were a bunch of inbred weirdos that died off horribly because they were
too inbred. Okay, but you know, when you see an elephant just like a redneck, you know what an elephant
loses its shit when it's like, I'm not taking this anymore. And it just starts picking up villagers
and starts tossing them because they threw the ghost peppers at it. Imagine what a woolly mammoth
can do. Yeah, it could do that. It could toss the villager twice as far. Elephants are huge
racists, too. They're like attack black people on site. Is that true? Yeah, because of the whole,
well, it's because they identify, okay, these people are poachers, these aren't.
Well, I mean, wow, we got to test that. Woolly, let's go. Yeah. Look, plague has a mic in front
of his face. It's got to be true. That's what I say. It's true. Yeah. But I will gladly test this.
All right, if will you? Let's get Pat to Africa right away. Right away. Pat needs to be in Africa.
Yep. Your fear of your fear of getting stabbed by random strangers with needles. Yep. You know,
the lineup you have to go through to like, get fucking inoculated to get that's not a random
stranger. Someone's very good at stabbing you with needles. Woolly, you went to Japan, you had
your bitch in a good ghost moment. Pat needs to go to Africa and have the same exact setup. Okay,
no, wait, those that's it. That is a different thing. Okay, I think it's very similar. Elephants
are real ghosts are debatable. What about elephant ghosts? All right, now that I will do, I'll go
to an elf in graveyard and piss and shit everywhere. See if the elephants could stop me. Oh man,
dude, I got man, you probably go to fucking jail for that. Yeah, probably, probably. But no, the
point is, is that bringing a mastodon back to life. Yeah, is the closest chance we have will be great
for metal albums. It would be amazing, right? But but but I think yes, I think that that absolutely
like we need to fear and respect dinosaurs and this fucking this this this. I don't even know
what you want to call it. I love how like this pacification of the dinosaurs needs to stop. So
it's funny because Matt Matt's always been the most like intense on the dinosaur bandwagon and
I've been there with him has been and and and you've you've kind of you've been like, yes, I
but they're cool. I grew up loving them as you've been like, you're right, guys. That's lame. But
I haven't seen your intense visceral reaction until today, where now it's too far because there's three
of them now. Right? One is a random funny story that you forget and bring up at a party sometime
later to line here and no far. Yeah, two is like, okay. All right. What's all right. What's going on?
Three is like, hold on a minute now. Did you know someone is trying something?
Did you know that this is in the span of like a year, man? Did you know that all the dinosaurs
just fucked each other to death in a massive like love party like Woodstock when they saw the
meteor, the meteor didn't even kill them. Yeah, the meteor was coming down. All right, let's get
it started. God damn it. Anyway, emergency plan three a we knew it was coming. All right, I need
I don't know. You can like they can argue about the colors and the skin and all that stuff because
we've seen every variant including the insane JP Mark toys with different like desert camo
dinos and whatever the fuck. Like, you know, like you can you can throw that up and that's fine.
But I need to know that at all times, including during mating, the TRX was a goddamn. So there
it's going to come out that like much like the koala that they were eating some kind of plant
and they were all just stoned all the time. Oh, man. They were all just fucking love manna from
have bumbling around mushrooms. Yeah, all the time. All out. Yeah. Not only they did not have
dicks, they all had cloakers. It was a fucking comedy of errors. Yes. They scavenge the dead body
here and there. You could scare them away with a loud rock. Yeah, the dreams of traveling back
in time to the Jurassic era and be like, whoa, cool. Or like, that shit's quickly diminishing.
You step out of the time machine. Welcome. Also, it makes all those jackasses in like
Spider-Man comics and X-Men comics like look like a bunch of idiots now. You talking about
Sauron? I'm talking about Sauron. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to cure cancer. I want to turn people
into dinosaurs. We was doing it wrong, I guess. Or was he was he fighting the fight? No, maybe
he's turning people into his ideal dinosaur and not what they actually were, you know?
I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. At least they would do the courtesy
of pulling like a Bernstein Bears thing and we just wake up tomorrow and like, yeah, dinosaurs
were always like this. What do you mean? You didn't know? Yeah, exactly. You just kind of forget
this fucking future. There is a Stan user at work with that shit. Back in my day, dinosaurs were cool.
Now they're going to call it the NTR Rex.
The T-Rex had a very, the T-Rex had a very, very confusing mating system in which they
would pair off and then one T-Rex would dress up like Superman and I go stand in the nearby
forest while they watch the other T-Rex's in the pack. Fuck it. Oh boy. And ruin one of those
thanksgivings. Yes. That's the shit. Like, how does that get a chance at breeding? You know,
I don't know. What's the evolutionary advantage here?
Nope. No one want to take that one. Oh, I'm looking around this nearly, nearly entirely empty room.
And yeah, no one wants to take that one. And it's up. It's up. Nope. No one caught it. No one
got it. Ball hits the ground. All right. Turns out there was a third type of T-Rex. Nope. Nope.
Give it up. I am out. You don't want to follow that one? Nope. Sure don't. You have the opportunity.
The floor is yours, Mr. Speaker. All right. I yielded my time. Good. I yielded. T-Rex doesn't
want the yellow one. What about blue and yellow? Ben is a hoe. Ben is a hoe, Saurus. There we go.
Okay. We need to get away from this. We do. How many more videos is that going to be in? No,
no, never mind. Let's go on. Until I get tired of the joke. So a lot.
Probably like two months. Yeah, probably like two months.
So you are just like fucking staring off into space. Yeah, no, I was trying to remember the
opening line to, this is a nice stick. Would you like this stick? And then I forgot what they're
doing. You talking about the bird video? The bird video. Because I'm like, that's what they're
going to turn the dinosaurs into. Oh, they've already done that with like Mosserhar. Okay.
It's fucking great. Yeah. Oh, stick. Pack, pack. Well, anyway, Plague, how did you give up this
week? Tell us, tell us about how you gave up. Tell us how I get this week. Well, this was the last
time I was on this. This past era in give ups. What have I done? Let's see. Played a, what's
what was that stupid fucking PS4 game with the weeaboos? That could be anything. The purses.
Yeah. The Dark Souls thing, the Bloodsling thing. Neo? Yeah, yeah, Neo. I kept thinking
near for some reason. Yeah, I played Neo for a while. Story of the first weeaboo.
Yeah, I played that for a while. But then whenever Zelda came out, then everything
just stopped. I just played Zelda and that was it. Yes. And I've still been playing Zelda.
Yes. Cool. You have been playing Breath of the Wild. Okay. Yeah, I went out and got a switch,
which is a, that's not even really a story in itself. I was about to say it was an adventure,
but really it just amounted to me calling a bunch of places and everyone would be like, yeah,
yeah, we have, well, that's nothing. Because it's a little bit different here in the country
where there are, there's nothing. There's just nothing here. So let's see. You can play the
switch at various areas like the fence and the barn. Yeah, a ditch. The only place in my town,
if you can call it a town, there's like less than 2000 people, that you can actually buy a
switch would be Walmart. Yeah, okay. And they got in one unit for a presale. So if you go in,
then they have no idea what a switch is. Like I was asking random old people because
that's who works there. You know, do you have any, do you know what a Nintendo is? What? What?
And it was just that. So I decided if you just ask for a switch, like, I'm like not even joking.
Oh yeah, they'll go break one or two would go break off a piece of wood and be like,
all right, sir. What can I do? Do you have a child? What can I do for you? Yeah. And that did
happen. And it wasn't even my child. But you know, we all had a good laugh and we all went home.
So I decided instead to phone around to 30 miles out. And then whenever I found out no one had
anything there, I went to 50 miles out, no one had anything there. So went to like 60 miles out.
So eventually it came to release day and no one, everyone had confirmed, yeah, we don't have anything.
Because if anyone was willing to tell what they were putting out a mod or what they had for street,
it was like, you know, two units or something. And they had maybe like 10 for pre-order that they
had gotten them. So it turned out that Amazon no, no, no, no. That's not happening.
Do you not have drones dropping off switches at your door? Like, is that a problem?
If anyone saw a drone in this area, they would shoot it down, will they?
We recently got one day delivery out here. It's real nice.
Yeah, that must be nice living in like a real place with you guys have one day delivery?
No. Is it going to surprise?
Only on dildosfromhorseporn.com.
That's the factory right there.
But there are a lot of sexual sex barns in this area.
If you drive, I've had to do this for, if you drive up to Chicago,
there, I'm not kidding about there being sex barns. There are literal barns that people
had converted into sex nasiums. And that's just what they do.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
And if you drive down, there's this field, field, field, field, sex barn.
Field, field, field. And that's all it is.
Have you seen those? It's a recent comeback from years, from, I don't know how long we
talked about it, but someone drew the drone delivering the giant.
I do. I think that was Wyoming Farmer.
Yeah, yeah. And it's like, if you don't answer the door immediately,
it flies to your neighbor's house and asks them where you are.
It's great.
It's a great delivery service.
If a drone delivers a sex toy to my house, I want it to wobble in the air uncontrollably.
Those things are not, they're not tuned for lean.
No.
But the end of my uninteresting story is that I eventually called to Tories are us of all places.
They have toys.
Yeah, they apparently do. They have some other weird thing about kids that I ignored.
But anyways, they said we didn't do pre-order. So we got in all of our stuff. We have,
we got in 20, I think they said, we have five left. And it takes me over an hour to drive there.
So I decided, you know what? Fuck it. I haven't left the house in like two years.
I'll go.
Wait, what?
And so I went and then I found it.
Okay.
They had two left.
And that's my story.
You haven't left your house in two years?
Ah, something like that.
You drive to an immediate area and like eat things.
Oh, okay.
That's time.
Okay. It sounded a little dire there for a second.
Otherwise I'm, well, there's, what are you going to go to, Pat?
What are you going to go to?
But probably stuff, right?
Since they get like, if they can ship computer parts in a Cintiq to your house,
I would assume that you could, you could Amazon it.
Well, whenever the Amazon thing was, because the pre-order for Amazon,
I think, what was that up for?
It's like a few hours at most before it just went down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that was not really an option.
It seems like I was asleep at the time or some shit.
I don't know what it was.
All right.
So, so I guess when it comes to Breath of the Wild,
just break right into what you hate the least, I guess.
Since that's where this goes.
Well, I don't give out 10 out of 10.
So a lot of people will.
I will say that Breath of the Wild is pretty easily,
like a 9, 9.5 out of 10.
It's a good goddamn game.
Like it's pretty easily.
Yeah.
Probably, hmm, would you say it's the best Zelda game they've ever made?
Yes.
Yeah.
I think so too.
And I say that as somebody who doesn't really like Zelda.
That's, yeah.
Well, that's pretty easy to say as someone that doesn't like Zelda.
Right now it is, but at the same time,
but I can't, I'm not going to solidify anything.
My opinion is still jelly until it's done.
Finally, something that's shut up Link's Awakening fans.
Take that.
Finally, someone can silence their cries.
I think the windfish, like until it dries, until it settles,
I have to kind of decide how big the power gap is, you know.
Yeah.
As far as the ranking and everything goes.
That's tough, man.
You're going to, you can only do that like two years from now, but.
There are minor failings with the game though.
Oh yeah, I came across a bad one this weekend.
Yeah, there's a, there's a lots of little minor nitpicks
that you could just kind of, like if you're going after a big T-Rex,
like a real one, and just taking little bits out of it,
you're never going to take that thing down.
It doesn't matter how many velociraptor complaints you're going to have.
It's just going to stay up.
But I will say that going through it sometimes does make me want to play other Zelda games,
because I want that itch to be, to go away of, you know,
like I want a proper dungeon, and it doesn't do it that well.
Like it has the four, but that's it.
And they're not particularly great, especially whenever, you know,
that they're not linear.
So they kind of have to make them all as the, possibly the first dungeon that you approach.
Yep.
So they have a lot of overlap as far as their skills go.
And the shrines kind of have that same problem.
And even thematically, like they don't really have necessarily distinct,
like textures or like elemental, like like things really happening.
Yeah, the shrines especially.
Yeah, it is definitely a lot of repetition as far as that concerns,
that is concerned.
But I kind of think that that goes hand in hand with their decision to under emphasize those things.
Like in any other Zelda game, the dungeon is a massive deal.
Everything is just filler until the dungeon.
It's the dungeon is the main part of the game here.
And it feels like in this, while the dungeons are weaker,
and some of the boss fights are weaker than they have been in the past,
those things are being emphasized less.
That's all you're saying that one of the boss fights you ran into was like a like complete stinker.
Oh, man, there's a bad one in there.
There's a bad one in there, man.
And it's like it's for the dumbest video gamey reasons.
But I'll get there.
But anyway, go on, Blake.
General, like you guys have said, you know,
the spoilers for that game are just experiences, I guess.
So I can't really go too much into anything.
Just everyone wants to fuck Link.
Yes, they go really out of their way to make sure that they have a lot of bodacious
bods in this game.
It's it's it's quite a weird thing like which is catering to me just fine.
And to be fair, you can now see all the other High Leons and how they don't stand a chance
against this glorious Adonis that is Link running around.
That is I thought about that that is so unfair that Link is born and he's just this
like he's like a man child.
I don't know what's going up with that.
It's he's like 17 or something, but he's still like five foot two.
I don't know what's going on there.
Yeah, it's kind of weird.
But just he's a paragon of manly boy flesh.
But like still, yes, like no one is even close to how like handsome he is in running around
that world.
There's just really normal people.
And anyone who comes close has like be dots for eyes or something like that, you know.
I kind of came up with this theory in Skyward Sword.
I hate the reference Skyward Sword, but apparently there was like one iteration before that where
it was the literal godless goddess Hylia.
And there was another link that we never see.
And they were the ones fighting Demi is whatever the stupid ass name was.
And then after that, that's when the reincarnation shit started.
But apparently the goddess Hylia and Link were just constantly going at it like canon,
just constantly the most intense of lovers.
And it's my theory that the reason why that they keep reincarnating is not because of this
Ganon on sense.
It's just that she can get at that sweet link tail over and over and over again.
And the reason why the calamities are spaced apart by thousands of years
is to prevent the accumulation of incest over time.
That's my theory.
Okay, that's good.
Good head cannon right there.
Play cannon.
Strip.
Thing is, though, is in this world where every everyone you run into is like,
yo, Link, can I get up on it?
Can you break me off a piece of that?
Ah!
Right.
Yeah.
Today I actually encountered a lady that was like, oh, you're not my type.
And I actually like put down the controller and like looked at her.
Bit honor.
Right.
But the fun thing is that in this game, it almost doesn't matter in the sense that like
any guy that would be jealous could just be like, man, fuck it.
I'm going to go find a Gerudo because all the Gerudo want,
they walk up to you and they're like, does it work?
All right, Vo, you're coming with me.
Where are the men at?
That's it.
And the Gerudo are fucking fantastic because
I love how like they've, you know, they've talked about the like,
there's one man born every like thousand years.
That doesn't seem to happen anymore since the Troubles.
It's, well, but, but like they've never talked about, I guess, like how
they actually make more Gerudo.
And I, and I, and they did actually, you know, Korean time,
I believe they actually say that they go to Hyrule Town to get boyfriends.
They get boyfriends for like, okay, I always, I guess I missed that detail.
Gerudo are, are, are Hylians, they're just a tribe.
I was wondering if it was just the one male that's born has to do
a whole lot of stumping.
No.
Well, no, because that wouldn't make any sense.
No.
Because that he'd have to fuck his own kids over and over to make.
They'd make it.
Yeah.
It'd be bad.
It'd be crazy.
Don't do that.
So they, so basically.
Ultra incest going on there.
But there's, yeah.
And the Gerudo, and I guess Gerudo babies are never diluted, right?
Like the, the half-highly-in-father doesn't actually create a mixed kid.
Yeah, they're like a, a sorry.
They just, it'll just make another.
Hylian genes are recessive.
The Gerudo genes are dominant.
Those are the wrong.
Depending on what Mipha's plan was, it may be that all the races are like that.
Like, Woolly, if you and I had a baby right now, they're not going to come out with blue
eyes and fucking red hair.
Okay, well, we're not, we're, I'm not looking for M-Preg discussion.
Wait, are you, are you the woman in this case, Pat?
Yeah, I guess.
What is your plan here?
I don't know what my plan is.
All right, let's discover that later.
Let's just let this one rock.
I'ma let that rock.
Yeah, that's fine.
No one put on this besides trying to remove myself from the equation.
Let's replace all that sand in that bag with tears instead.
But yeah, you do have to question, like, what exactly was Mipha's plan?
What exactly is the plan?
I want to know.
Was Ruto's plan going back in the day?
Like, how did that, is that really going to do anything for you?
Does it matter?
Are you just going to have this, like...
Mipha doesn't even wear, like, there's nothing down there, man.
Like, she doesn't wear a top.
I can understand that fish.
But there's nothing like, like, she didn't,
I don't even care if there's, like, any egg laying going on.
If there's no egg laying going on, she still needs, like, an asshole, okay?
Isn't it?
You gotta get...
Does she process things perfectly?
Does she barf the eggs?
Maybe she's like an owl, man.
She's like an owl.
Okay, I'm guessing that if it's like fish, that she throws up a whole bunch of eggs,
and then, like, Siphon's gonna...
Oh, no, Siphon.
Sidon.
Sidon's gonna come, gotta come over.
And then, like, fucking jizz on the eggs and then that's...
And then that's how Solarians do it in Mass Effect, man.
And then he's gotta hold on to those eggs for a while, and then they...
And then he'll just wither away and die.
And then leave it to the babies.
No, Link is, like, he's keeping all this inside.
He doesn't talk.
He's got needs, but he's not gonna raise them.
If this is gonna work, you're gonna have to make some accommodations.
Actually, you know what, like, in one of those flashbacks,
it appears that one of Link's needs is to, like, murder a bunch of shit all the time.
Well, there's that one.
Yeah, there's definitely that.
It's like, whoa, Link, fucking, whew.
Chill down on the fucking, the fucking Bokoblin genocide here.
And we've only just gotten started on this Lionel train.
And we haven't seen female Lionels yet, you know?
That's a race that they've just introduced.
Hold on.
Uh-oh.
Plague, you making notes?
Yep.
You've opened up a new market for him.
Centaur women.
Did you hear the true, like...
I heard some rustling.
Oh, I don't like this.
You know, he gets it, and they're already a warrior tribe,
and they have cool weapons and shields.
Lionels are so cool, because I love that you can approach them,
and then they pull out the weapon, turn it, you're like, really?
Are you doing this?
You want to start this?
Yeah, it's great.
This is my spot.
I don't even have a house, but this is my spot.
I'm gonna walk around it, and it's like, oh, you trying to trick me
with that stupid mask you're wearing?
Okay.
Okay, female.
Typing the notes, I'm glad I inspired something.
Get on that, don't disappoint.
There we go.
I expect to have this notepad filled by the end of this podcast, Willie.
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Check this out.
Right back into the conversation.
It's like it never happened.
I mean, I think you can take a bit of inspiration from the way the whatever
Kimmari's race was.
The blue fuck boys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
Blue fuck boys, Pat.
Thanks.
That's what I got.
Little bit of that going on.
That's what I got.
Such a contributor.
Putting those years of grocery work experience at hand.
Also, I was grocery work in a real place.
You fuck whichever one of you asked.
My first job was, no, it's my second job was a grocery store.
What was your first job, Plague?
Raking leaves.
Yeah, bitch.
I win.
That's a job.
You got paid to rake leaves.
That's a lot of leaves.
It was basically just it was added like a government thing.
I don't need to go into it.
Wow.
My first real job was like actual like farm work.
So.
Okay.
Well, anyway, if it was you, Pat, or if it was Matt that told me
that you could jump on a Lionel's back, I still have yet to.
It was both Matt and I.
We both told you at the same time.
You're like, shut up.
Dude, I tried so hard and I still haven't.
It's very difficult.
You have to get them after their charge attack.
Yeah.
And that's the only window.
You can also if I smoke up.
If you stasis them during one of their fire breath attack.
Try that too.
And shoot them in the face like four times.
And they drop down.
Yeah.
Then you have to put your weapon away and then.
But only for that one.
Okay.
When it's on their back.
You put a lot of work under this, Pat.
All right.
You really wanted to mount that Lionel.
I was trying.
I was trying.
It didn't work out.
I almost didn't believe them.
But fine.
I'll try.
Well, they watch this.
I'll try again.
Immediately.
Not right now.
We're in the middle of a podcast, but it looks really cool.
It is very cool.
Yeah.
But we will get to that.
I think it's cute how if Link puts on the mask for Lionel's,
he does like a little buff thing.
If you leave him in the idle stance.
Yes.
The idle stance.
He just muffs up a little bit.
Yeah.
If you stop moving.
I haven't found that mask yet.
Well, I'll work on it.
Super cute.
So we talk.
That's that stupid creepy fuck's name.
I hate him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That mask guy.
Oh, the, yeah.
That guy.
Exactly.
That's the, I hate him.
I don't know.
I love that guy.
He's such a weirdo.
Oh, I wanted to say though, I,
what I really like about the Gerudo,
like you did say that they kind of go man crazy.
But there is a little bit more depth to it than that
in the sense of like they're not obsessed with a man.
And that's all they talk about.
They actually like have their own shit going on.
And whenever they talk about man,
it is kind of cute how it's more of a,
we never see them.
So we're just really curious about it.
Mm hmm.
Like at all girl school.
Imagine if you would an entire race and culture
that does not pass the Bechdel test.
What's their fault?
They're the ones that keep, it's so dumb.
This is one of my complaints.
Is that after you beat the corresponding dungeon,
then they still, like if you take off the veil,
they throw you out.
Rules are rules, man.
I just, I say rules are rules.
No, it's because you, if Link,
if Link starts walking around,
like unadorned and is all his glory,
like that society is going to fucking self-destruct.
Dude, probably that to be fair.
Look, if they smell balls, you got to go.
It's very simple.
Hashtag ball smell.
Why are the streets so wet?
I'm slipping and sliding all over the place.
Oh, there's Link again.
No wonder.
It's a problem.
It's also probably like a dungeon or five.
Yeah.
So anyway, though, I, I.
So many watermelon rinds.
All right.
Listen, I really enjoy the way
they're the Grudor handled in that.
Like I said, the Rito are still.
I wish they had fleshed those out more.
Yeah, still a little bit light on,
on personality.
Yeah, because they're birds.
And that's about it.
No, they have white bones.
I wonder more from the owl.
I really like the owl design.
They didn't give him much.
Yeah.
He's kind of the kippura-gibora of the game, I guess.
It's funny how some of the races sort of just seem to be there
and they're barely even aware that there's a problem.
And the Rito are one of those where they're like,
yeah, that bird thing is up there.
Well, they can, they can fly away.
Yeah, that's true.
They can just fly.
It seems like the only ones that are really aware of the problem
are Hylians for the most part.
Well, because, because they, I mean, without,
I don't want to get into the problem.
Zora, Zora R2.
But like, it's more like a mild inconvenience to them
than it is an actual threat, you know?
For the Zora, it's a problem.
For the Gorons, it's like,
ah, you're getting in the way of work.
But ultimately, for the Rito, it's kind of just like,
it's just not annoying.
Oh, that thing is fucking ugly.
It's above the, ah, Christ.
And that's about it, you know?
Because it's not like it's in...
Tourism's gonna suffer.
Anyway, okay.
Breath of the Wild is a big crime.
So my weak suck-ass.
Yeah, that's fine.
Oh, that's good.
You gave up good, buddy.
No, I mean, I mean, I, you know,
I had a big give up too.
Like, I spent a lot of time with Breath of the Wild as well.
That's a big give up, you know?
That's...
Breath of the Give Up.
Yeah.
Breath of Failure.
Would you prefer Breath of Give Up or Give Up of the Wild?
I'm not sure yet.
What I will say is,
Iron Fists went from a poor start
to a mediocre middle.
So...
Sounds like fun.
I don't know how this is gonna finish,
but right now it is like...
It's an upward, it's moving upward,
but it's stopping in the middle.
And that is unfortunate
because the one thing this thing feels like it needs
is just like, like a really good moment of like,
I'm expecting amazing choreography here,
went over with like, all right, choreography, you know?
The fights are just not...
They don't have someone behind it
that is putting their all into it.
It's a god damn kung fu story.
Yeah.
I don't know if they have an amazing legendary person
like a Yuan Wu Ping during choreography
or something secretly or not,
but whoever is doing it is either phoning it in
or just not really that great at making it exciting.
And that's kind of sucky.
That's not good, man.
Because it's Iron Fist.
I went to the Montreal Red Bull Proving Grounds event
this weekend.
That went off.
That's the part of a Street Fighter series
that they're basically having
where the person who builds up
enough proving grounds points
gets to join an international three on three.
That's gonna be a big thing.
Sponsored by Red Bull?
Yeah.
Delicious.
Like, they had their...
Did they run off with everyone?
What was the story?
The guy that did the Red Bull thing
and they ran off with everything, whatever it was?
Oh, yeah.
That was...
Well, that was just some asshole
that he's just said that he was just...
I like that story.
Yeah.
He said he was sponsoring.
He was sponsoring events
and then just fucking took the money and ran.
Like, I forget.
It's a good plan.
It's a good plan.
It's a good plan.
It's a good plan.
It's a good plan.
Didn't he have a truck full of Red Bull though?
And that was the way that he got it done?
Or something like that?
I forget the details of it now,
but it was hilarious and hopeful.
What a cutie pie he was.
What a rascal.
All right, please.
Haha, I took your money, nerds.
In this case, they did show up
with the big banners and stuff.
I think there was a one Red Bull girl,
but then she left really quickly.
But no, they've been doing this series.
And yeah, it's pretty much just a tournament
where you build up the points for their thing.
They have the Kumite every year,
and then they're going to also be having
this international three-on-three KOF style,
which is pretty cool.
Went in, got bopped.
You know, it is what it is.
I don't practice anymore.
I know, I know.
Whatever.
But I did get to know you.
Don't you wonder why one day you'll just have that?
You'll just have like a really good day
and walk and be like accidentally get in.
And then you're like, no, that was a fluke shit.
Now I'm going to get blown up.
Super big.
Maybe.
Why would I want to?
I want you to that's maliciously.
I want you to do so badly.
And one of these that they actually say,
get off the stage.
Where is the real woolly bed?
Yeah, who's who is there?
Is there a fucking purple hermit
grabbing my stick?
No, you know what I want?
I want like a group of like,
of best friends, fans to be their woolly fans
with the little sides like, we're behind you.
Whoa.
Welcome.
They turned the signs backwards to hide their face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good times.
What there was, I had an opportunity to,
I brought my switch out and like we set it up,
but I ran out of control and we played KOF 98.
Yeah.
So I got to try that out with pro with the controllers.
And that was cool.
KOF 98 on the go.
That functions.
There's some weird decisions though.
They made importing it where they,
it doesn't seem like they allow you to put the
Neo Geo games into console mode.
What?
So you're kind of stuck with the arcade mode.
Why?
And inserting coins with L and pressing start with R.
So that is not great.
That's fucking weird.
I don't know why they do that.
Because it's built in to the cartridge.
You have the option there to let the person set it
to console mode.
Why would you not have that?
I don't know.
Maybe I didn't dig far enough.
Maybe I couldn't find it,
but it seems like you're kind of stuck.
So, and furthermore, like this,
since Neo Geo is porting a bunch of their shit,
it doesn't look like they're going to really QA it much
beyond, does it run?
Okay, drop it in the emulator.
You know, it's the .mu kind of way.
So, yeah, we need some better ports.
Beyond that though, runs fine.
Everything's fine.
Well, it's better than the fucking PC ports then
of that shit.
Not of 98, but of like the one.
Yeah, .mu shit.
.mu ports, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, no, but that's my give-up week.
That's a good give-up week, yeah.
Oh, would I do it my way?
I mean, to be fair, I like the second round
was up against fucking Henry, so.
Oh, well then, just...
Yeah, you're giving me the, you know...
Hey, just give him a little...
Yeah, I thought...
Just a little bit under the table.
I got a little bit.
Just track him.
I got a little bit on him, but not much.
Can I ask both of you something real fast about the weeks?
Yes, you may.
Have either of you played for Honor recently?
No, I haven't played it in the past week or two.
Okay, it kind of...
I went through the same thing because of Zelda and everything else.
Yeah, so what's up?
They have said that they're releasing a bunch of new,
like shit coming out.
They've gone to weekly updates now.
And probably the big news ticket lately has been
that they're buffing the shit of Lawbringers.
Yeah, Lawbringers getting buffed on every single attack,
every single chain, every single property.
How about that?
Yeah, which I find hilarious, but like,
I'm not going to go too much into it.
I was just curious.
Like on his impale move, you know,
where he impales you and pushes you off of Perry's is no guaranteed.
Yeah, long arm.
Okay.
Which like that...
Whoa.
It's funny because...
It leads into a guaranteed side heavy, I think.
Oh, yeah.
Like Lawbringer is...
I mean, like he did need, I guess, something
because he was too honest, but...
Although the problem is that he's...
He's honest to a fault.
He was so slow, like a decent player
could literally beat everything he had on reaction.
But I think he was one of those characters where in testing,
he was already too much, a bit like Valkyrie, you know.
You guys might have more insight into the basic fundamental problems
that the game has, and it does have some fundamental problems.
And they have admitted that the game is too defensive.
And from playing it myself, I...
Like whenever the game first was announced,
I kind of had in my mind, this is how the game works.
Two guys line up and you have your system of blocking from side to side and whatnot.
And I thought it would be like a lead-up thing.
Like if you managed to block two times in a row,
you get like an unblockable or something buff and so forth and so on.
Like you would spend a lot of time just going back and forth.
Right.
But the actual game itself is more like people have their guarantees
and they just rely on those guarantees and nothing else.
So characters tend to abuse one specific combo.
Yeah, like the warden just goes straight to their vortex.
Yeah, our conqueror goes to the shield bash and so on.
Which is typical of a fighting game and that's brain dead play.
And then you just...
What you do is you get stuck going,
oh, they have an abusable tactic and then you find the exploit for it
and then you have that exploit or rather the way to defeat that thing
ready to go all at all times.
The game has one problem that is...
I don't know how they're going to fix it.
And it is...
If your reaction time is good enough,
you can beat everything on the game on React.
It has to be.
Like it really has to be for the kind of game that they're trying to make.
Right.
And I mean like...
That's not the only problem.
But no, but that's...
I find the biggest problem is like...
Yeah, that's the core of the game.
I was reading a thread that was like,
well, what are you supposed to do as a...
As I can say.
If people are fast enough to block your side unblockables every time.
Okay, but there's a window that tapers off into the infinity of human reaction time.
Yeah, but that bar is lower than you would think.
Certainly, but...
Than usual.
But you could also be the theoretical human parrying machine in Third Strike.
Red parry everything, normal parry everything.
I don't think you could parry things on reaction like you can in...
But what I mean is you could...
But like if you were perfect, you wouldn't whiff your normals, you know?
You would just be landing hits.
You're right.
What I'm talking about is that seems to be amongst good players.
That seems to be fairly common.
That everything going in is going to get knocked back out.
What it means is you can't spam and you have to use your feints smartly.
And what you're looking to do is punish people recovering more than just land an open hit.
Which leads to a super defensive game.
Yes, it does.
Yeah, especially if you...
Like even if you fall for a feint,
you can still go to whatever new stance that they're going after.
And that's mainly to get people to try to parry,
which makes them go out with a heavy,
which you can then parry or whatever it is you're going to do.
But there's still plenty of reaction time left.
So this is a game that was developed here in Montreal.
And as a result, turns out I have more than a couple of friends that worked on it.
And at this Red Bull tournament I was just talking about,
I spent a good hour sitting down...
Did you go up to them and be like,
hey, how come your shit sucks?
And they're like, come on.
I sat down with...
Well, that's not what I said.
I said, yo, good ass game.
I love it.
But what about this shit that sucks?
I want to know.
Yeah.
That's what I did.
And we had that conversation and he basically walked...
Did you sign anything?
I didn't sign anything.
Great.
Okay.
So what'd they say?
Oh, I mean, a couple of things.
Show me their pictures initially.
Like for one thing, internally,
they, every character went through so many changes.
I bet.
I fucking bet.
And it was almost impossible.
Well, you could tell from alpha, beta to open beta,
like they were mixing dudes around quite a bit.
Even the names,
they had such a hard time tracking a lot of that stuff.
So one, the HUD, with the blocking, the defense,
all that stuff, initially, there was nothing.
Initially, it was...
That's very different game.
Initially, it was look at where their hands are
and react to that.
Yeah, realistic mode.
That's too hard for most people.
Yeah.
They still, you can still put it on realistic now,
but that seems a bit too intense.
And furthermore, you don't get the exact
riposte window out of that, you know?
There should be a mode for that.
There is.
Oh, there, like there's...
Realistic.
You can match make for it.
You can turn...
Well, no, no, the story mode.
There's a realistic mode.
Where you don't have a HUD.
No, but I'm talking you should be able
to match make realistic mode.
Can you not go into options and turn those things off?
Yeah, but the other people are still gonna have them.
Oh, you're forcing both players to have it?
Yes, because Call of Duty has, like,
you'll match make into, like, realistic,
and it's like, it's search and destroy with super high damage.
It could be under custom game options.
We'd have to...
Yeah, but...
You clearly are just taking a guess.
I feel like Halo just showed everybody
that custom game options, like,
are gonna die in the face of matchmaking.
Sure, but it's there.
It might be...
Or rather, it might be there.
But I did...
That's one thing I did ask about was, like,
hey, so what's up with no local?
What's up with no LAN?
What's up with server-required things?
I told them about how we had a planned offline tournament,
and we showed up for it.
Some dudes drove out from Burlington,
and then the servers were fucking down, you know?
And thanks, StarCraft.
Yeah, it is...
Then you had to play Windbreakers or whatever it is.
Windjammers.
Windbreakers?
No, I think it's Windbreakers.
You put on your jackets, yeah.
The problem was...
Yeah, your jackets.
That's what I'm talking about.
The problem was that they didn't know
early on in what the scale of the game would be,
or the scope.
So obviously, things like Singleplayer came on as extra add-ons,
and then initially, they were just making Dominion, right?
Yes, I remember that.
And so they didn't quite know
whether this would just be a MOBA-type thing,
whether it'd be offline, online only, right?
There's so many up-in-the-air questions,
because it's a new IP.
It's also pretty weird that there are 1v1, 2v2, and Dominion,
and they're all completely different games.
But they built around the idea that we're going to go for...
They didn't go for dedicated servers,
because there's too many questions about the design early on.
And then by the time they knew what it was going to be,
it would take a massive overhaul of Netco to...
I gotta say, the P2P infrastructure for them nowadays
seems to work pretty well, in terms of lag.
But I have super-fast answer.
De-synchronizing is unfortunate, and it's going to happen.
There hasn't appeared to be host advantage.
The other thing was initially,
there were four directions to block in.
Initially, it was the D-pad,
and it was just a bit too much for the average person
to be able to respond to.
A lot.
Four directions, no HUD.
Right?
That's too much.
It was overwhelming.
I do have a problem with balancing things on the predication
that humans will not be able to do this, whatever X is.
And assuming, well, people just won't be able to,
therefore, it will work.
It doesn't really work,
because there will always be someone that can do that thing,
whatever that thing is.
Yeah, well, Gradius V loop the game,
and the difficulty gets exponentially harder
until it's humanly impossible.
Gradius V is a fucking great game.
But yeah, so their initial plan was like,
yeah, four directions was a thing.
And it seems like, without really saying much,
there was a situation where it's pretty obvious
what Ubisoft publishing and such would want to do,
and what they would want to add to the game
that is not exactly the same as what developers
would want to do, but you understand early on
that when it's a game that has no,
like, it's not a sequel, it's not a brand new thing.
It's a brand new thing.
Trust levels are low.
You've got to hedge your bets.
Trust levels are low, you know?
So they're kicking up the amount of steel
you get per matches by, like, 23 percent.
And that's a response to the Sforonor subreddit
exploding because someone did the math.
Three years, whatever it was.
Three years of eight hours a day to get all content.
It's someone did the math and then the developer said
a stupid thing, which was,
well, we never intended for you to unlock everything.
Which is not what people want to hear because,
yeah, the expectation was you focus on your main
and you unlock everything you want for that character.
And normally that'd be fine when you talk about
something like Dota or League, right?
Because there's a billion of those things,
but like, Sforonor doesn't have that many,
like, customizable or cosmetic things.
But you pick the look you want to stick with
and that's your thing.
And yeah, that's not what people want to hear
when it's like, it's all about the game I want.
Tell me, it's going to take me eight months
to get out my fucking shagoky?
The idea of that.
And Sforonor already has a problem of,
I'm, this is my main or whatever.
And I want to go try this other guy,
but I'm getting match made against people
that are way higher than the skill level
I have with this character.
Like, there's a lot of problems with this.
It's a pretty typical fighting game
matchmaking problem.
Yeah, so you can't go after the completionist
in that scenario, not Gerard.
You can't go after someone who wants to
unlock everything in their game,
especially since it's not a free to play game.
It's a full priced game.
So that was a silly thing.
And then, yeah, that I think looking at that equation
and realizing how long it would take people
to collect everything was like, okay, no,
you got to do something about this,
this, whatever, steal, steal, you know.
But just make it a little more reasonable, guys.
Yeah, and you know what?
Like, as far as local stuff goes,
like, there actually was a split screen in Dev.
Uh-huh.
And it had to get removed, obviously,
because performance wasn't fucking up to snuff.
Oh, hell no.
But it was there.
And like, it was something that, you know,
they did use and have fun with internally
until it was like, okay,
but there's just too much work here, you know.
For Honor, for his being as different as it is,
took a lot of big swings, a lot of different things.
And some of them paid off.
Some of them, not so much.
I imagine like, if we're Honor, too,
we'll just knock it out of the park.
I imagine so, because especially since the groundwork
for a lot of the things that, uh-
Yeah, before Honor's just completely new.
There's just, it's not quite like enough things to-
You don't climb any towers to a lot of points in your map.
And they had to feel out which direction
they were going in with the game as they were making it.
And if they knew from the get-go on a part two
what they were trying to do then,
they would totally be able to fix a lot of those problems.
That's a good game.
The, and you know, like the,
I remember the sentiment was like,
so yeah, split screen had to go, obviously.
And it was a downer, but it was also like
a blessing and a curse because it's like
all those bugs just disappeared from the database.
Oh yeah.
You know, and you're just like,
I finally don't have to fix this stupid-
I can fucking breathe, you know.
But I can imagine, I can imagine a bug like immediately
that because of the way that the camera works
when you back up to things
and like the geometry just disappears.
I imagine it's split screen because it wasn't being
connected to a server that you could see
that happening to the other player on the same system.
I wonder.
And, oh man, that'd be, that'd be fucking weird looking.
I bet that was there.
Yeah, I don't even want or even, I wasn't,
I never even like, I mean, I thought about it,
but it's not that I wanted split screen.
It's that I just, I wish the land was still a thing,
you know, like I said last time.
Yeah, like I said, thanks to Starcraft
for starting that horrible trend.
What was it, Crimson Skies on the Xbox original?
Halo on the original Xbox as well?
Yes, big land.
Anyway, I liked it.
Tell us about your give-ups.
My give-ups?
Okay, I had one thing that I did that was giving up
and one thing that made me want to give up.
The thing that I did that was giving up
is that me and some friends took my girlfriend out
to a sugar shack, which she had never been to.
Yesterday, which for those of you not from Canada or Quebec,
it is basically, we got a lot of maple trees out here.
You take a stick, you put maple syrup on it,
you dip that shit in the snow, you get yourself a treat.
Yep, basically.
Sugar shack means something very different for me.
Oh, really?
What the fuck does it mean for you?
That's a crazy little shack down the track.
I, is that one of them sex barns there?
They call it the sugar shack.
Oh, all right.
No, us.
At least have the courtesy to get the animals out of the barn.
So you go down there, you go down there, you fucking,
you get a big super breakfast
that has some of the best breakfast you ever had.
You throw maple syrup in your coffee,
you throw it on your ham, you throw it out on your bag,
you fucking maple syrup, every fucking part of that.
You go on a little tractor ride, you're orchard,
you pet some goats.
You ride the horse and you smell its poop.
Yeah, ponies, if there are ponies around,
and then they give you some sticks
and they make you a maple syrup toffee.
And just watching the girlfriend try out,
she's never had sugar pie.
Which, yes, that's a Quebec dish, it's sugar pie.
That sounds disgusting.
That's not native to Quebec.
It's super Quebec.
Really?
Yes.
Because I've seen that elsewhere.
Yes, you have, but it's from here, yeah.
No fruit, no filling, no nothing.
Just sugar.
Okay, all right.
No, you can't do that.
We can fact check that.
Yeah, see look, listen to how confused he is.
Oh yeah.
That just sounds like you just have a bowl of sugar
and you just give it the...
That's pretty much what it is.
But the sugar is not actually in powdered sugar form.
No, it's like gooey.
It's...
Is it like chest pie or something?
It's like a pecan pie.
It's like a pecan pie.
Back off the flavor of anything.
Take the pecans off.
And just double down, literally double down on the sugar part.
The pecan pie is like one of the worst things that you can eat as a human being.
Well, you need to have a slice of good old cubic sugar pie.
Why are Canadians living out the stereotype of America?
We started that stereotype first, Motherfucker.
Yeah, you guys deep fry butter, man.
Yeah.
So that was a lot of fun watching the girlfriend bite into sugar pie
and nearly burst into tears and have her mouth scrunch up
like she bit a lemon because she couldn't handle how sweet it is.
Was like hilarious.
Northern France and Belgium and Quebec.
Oh, really?
Well, that was Frenchies then, I guess.
Well, they brought it over.
Oh, that makes sense.
Yeah.
Wow.
How about that?
I had no idea.
I know Boudin is like super from here.
Damn.
Blood pudding.
But so did that.
And then that was a lot of fun.
And earlier in the week, I beat ending B of near
and that made me want to give up.
Okay.
I did not beat near all the way.
As soon as it came out, I just kind of dropped in and forgot it existed.
So I had a statement last week when I was talking to Willie in which it was
unacceptable, becoming unacceptable that you were not playing near.
Now that I've cleared ending B and started a little bit of C,
you are hurting yourself.
Taking damage?
Yeah, you don't know it.
It's okay.
What is the source of this DOT?
Near.
I mean, okay.
Could you please elaborate on that more than zero?
There are things that this game does that
very, very few other games do.
And it's quite special when it does it.
And it's the best version of it that I've ever seen.
Okay.
Nothing right now.
I can't talk.
It is like any discussion of it in any specifics would immediately ruin it.
Yeah.
No, that's fine.
I'm totally okay with that.
I'm excited.
I can't wait.
It's high quality.
Right now, you know, like the schedule is the schedule.
I'm going to beat Breath of the Wild.
It's high quality.
I'm going to get to it.
But you know, it's a high.
Don't talk to people about near.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
The last thing I did near was fight a spider lady.
I remember that.
Well, near one or two or near like near.
No, not near.
I'm thinking Neo.
Yeah, you're thinking.
You're talking of just straight up.
Okay.
I'm talking about near automatic tomatoes.
Okay.
Robot ass.
Yeah.
Robot ass.
There you go.
I love watching Yoko Taro getting his shit signed by platinum directors.
Oh, dude.
It was all, it was all work.
We're going backwards.
It was all shoots.
So Liam play that game a little bit.
Yeah, probably.
It's a good goddamn game.
It's kind of weird that Liam's missing that one pinky on his hand now.
Strange.
It's awesome that like we're living in this world where I guess Liam had a fucking bail
it that he, you know what I mean?
Yeah, no, he cashed it in.
He cashed it in unknowingly.
To make the world care about his favorite game.
Yeah.
And now he gets the perfect version of his favorite game.
There's a real feeling.
It's incredible.
I can't believe how lucky he got with that.
He sacrificed himself.
There's a real feeling behind Automata that like Yoko Taro has been like cursed with
either poor resources or poor development over the years that he's never,
he's never gotten to make a game that was not saddled with crap.
Right.
And most of that crap in the past was like games that were like either mediocre or straight up bad.
And now Platinum gave him a really good game that he can go crazy with.
And he goes and goes and goes, but at the same time it still controls fantastic and it's got
that, you know what I'm talking about, that snap.
You don't have to, he doesn't have to think about the gameplay.
No.
He can just make the rest of it.
Though he does.
There are a lot of gameplay quirks in there that are clearly very taro-esque.
So it's a good game.
Thank you, based Liam.
Yeah.
It's a good game.
Thank you, Liam, for this game.
Anime Jesus.
No, but the, you know what?
I don't even want to ask how many.
Don't.
Okay.
Wait, hold on.
What's the question?
Because I love how endings are popping up with letters attached.
Oh, there are 26.
Okay.
Is this Chrono Trigger?
Like is that how much Chrono Trigger?
Because I didn't know, but I'm like, I don't want to ask.
No, there are 26.
There's a letter for every.
But the question is how many of those are splash screens?
And how many of them are...
Well, Path.
Well, if the, if the, all I know is that the original trend was we take a Dracon Guard game
and then each of the endings becomes its own thing.
What the fuck?
Are we setting the baseline for this time?
Pretty high.
Path, can you tell me on New Game Plus or whatever the equivalent is,
how long it takes to get to some of those endings?
Like is that a spoiler?
Some of those endings you can get within 30 seconds of your character control.
Okay.
That's what I wanted to know.
That's what I was going to say.
It's a very minor spoiler, but if you go into your inventory and remove your OS chip,
you immediately die and get an ending.
Yeah, I knew about that one.
Yeah.
Yeah, stuff like that.
Or in some cases, if there's a big battle going on and you turn right around and just run in the
operation, run away, the fucking robot will tell you, hey, where are you going?
And then if you zone into a new area, it'll go and then they ran away from the battle.
Okay.
The end.
I like it whenever games actually, like I don't know what to call that,
whenever they actually treat themselves with a level seriousness.
Well, those are very, very rarely very serious.
Yeah.
Although removing the OS chip, that doesn't blow your panties off, right?
No, that's self-destruct.
Okay, yeah, that's the one.
Yeah, I know that.
There are endings associated with that as well.
If you want people to talk about your game, just have a main character that has a giant ass.
Giant ass.
It helps a lot.
Hey, you got to climb that tower.
You got to climb that tower to get up to talk to that little robot.
Just, hey, look at this.
No, don't look at this.
Don't look at it.
Re-camera control.
Oh, yeah, all the time.
All the time.
Yeah, all the time.
I will fire you if you do not model this ass to perfection.
Needs to be bigger.
Or don't let the camera tilt too low.
This is Japan.
Fuck that shit.
You know what I'm talking about?
I know what I'm talking about.
It's a good game.
Don't let the giant ass fool you.
Okay.
There's more going on.
Inside the ass is a good game.
Yeah.
All right.
Way in there.
That ass is sugar pie, Pat.
Inside of it is nothing less than their robots, man.
It's not even just good gameplay.
That makes it better.
Don't ever mistake it.
Don't get it twisted.
All right.
The sugar pie kind of looks like gross poop.
A robot could choose to be anything.
It chose to have a giant ass.
No, they're model types.
There's more than her?
Like, is there more ass?
Okay, stop it.
Stop, stop, stop.
No, no, that's not like 2B.
She's, there's 4B.
There's 11B.
They're a model.
Yeah, but one was like a little boy, isn't it?
I just remember there was an interview where Yoko Taro said,
there's a very good reason for why they look the way they look.
Yeah.
And then he later came out and said,
because I think chicks are hot,
and I want them to be hot and have big asses.
Oh, okay.
Like, he didn't fucking words and deeds us on this one.
Well, what I can't say to
back it up a little bit, I suppose.
Back it up.
Back that shit up.
Is we had a big, we had a big April Fool's Day that went off,
and that seemed to be, as it does every year,
it just takes over.
And all you do is you spend the whole day
trying to jump from site to site to see who's who.
It's kind of a weird one this year.
Every year I become a crotchety or old man about April Fool's.
Well, it's like, it's more just like wait for the roundup.
Right, because.
Well, I don't just mean that.
It's because it went from, ha ha, I pranked you to,
oh, this is the day in which I'm going to see
a bunch of things I want and get disappointed.
Yeah.
Well, I mean.
To me, it's more you're interrupting the flow of my day.
Like, you're supposed to deliver this on Saturday
and you're fucking it up because,
like, no, do the thing that I want.
The, I do remember some people were happy
because I put out a table arts episode and they're like,
thank you for just releasing normal content.
I'm just going to hide here.
Yeah, because I had a stream on that day
and people were shocked that it was a real stream.
And not bullshit because you never know what you're going to get.
Yeah, it's like, fuck.
All right, let's.
So we've got, there's a lot of them and it's going to take a while.
So I mean, there's some, some that I laughed at though.
I chortled.
I like the Tekken 7 one.
Tekken 7 one was pretty good.
It's the Eddie Gordo button controller,
single button, just mash button to fucking Eddie flip.
It's a duke combo, right?
That was it.
Those, and they had a very official looking ad for it.
So get on you.
Divinity Original Sin console port, combo 64 release.
674 floppy disks.
I wonder if they actually counted.
They did.
They did.
They surely did.
Can I say one that will not be on this list?
I'm pretty much certain.
Sure, absolutely.
I've been playing Star Trek Online again a little bit lately.
And their April Fool's thing was they replaced a lot of the sounds
for like combat and everything with like noises
that they make with their mouth.
So there's a lot of.
Oh, those are great.
I love that.
Nice, nice.
It was really nice.
Overwatch had a subtle one.
I think that was like when you play as Reinhardt
and you talk in all free chat,
everything gets put into all caps.
And they add a Reinhardt catchphrase to the end of what you say.
And that was about it.
Yeah, you had a Hotline Miami 3,
Humble Bundle, which is the Humble Wikipedia Bundle.
Pay what you want for collections of Wikipedia articles.
That's all right.
Um, I love the goddamn For Honor one.
That's real good.
For Honor was just straight up due to a spelling issue.
All new For Honor copies sold in Canada will have an updated cover.
And they spell it F-O-R-H-O-N-O-U-R.
That's how you're supposed to spell it.
God damn it.
Honor.
Oh, it's like Armour.
Exactly, a neighbor.
Come on, come on, America, put the U in.
You know you want to.
Is that like a get the F out thing you're trying to do?
I'm just trying to do it a little bit.
You almost got it.
Get you in.
You know, you know, you know, you want to, whatever.
Yeah.
Anyway, XC did a really awful dub of the of San Ron Kagura,
which was, you know, it was funny.
They did their like open up a bunch of,
open up a box full of sushi and eat your hamburgers.
You know, they did all the gags and whatnot.
Abelink in high school.
Abelink in high school.
Shantae demacified from way forward.
Yeah, that was all right.
Not bad.
The fucking Shovel Knight one was really good.
Did you see it?
The Shovel Knight one was pretty good.
It was top, top 10 games that copy Shovel Knight and they're going back
to like fucking Mega Man and game and Zelda 2 and shit.
Plus contextual adventure.
That's fucked up that, that Half-Life 3 was one of those.
It was chrono.gg.
It was not Valve.
It's not Valve.
Okay.
You know, they had nothing to do with that.
Don't do that.
They had nothing to do with that.
There was a really fun one from Tsukibon Games,
the guys that make Valhalla, where they had the Good Boy edition,
which does everything I love when it comes to making a fake box,
which is the Japanese, the perfect collection,
kind of like writing text and featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series.
And then just this hilarious photo of a goddamn dog sitting,
being a good boy in front of a cigarette butt.
And a wine glass.
And a wine glass.
What a good boy.
Look at him.
For the switch.
No, he's not being an entirely good boy.
He's being disappointed.
It's slightly naughty.
That's good stuff.
The, um, yeah, so that's fun.
The ukulele wrap.
Which I don't know if that's actually an April Fool's joke,
because it's the whole thing.
It's there.
It's the game content.
And it's to the fucking beat of the DK rap.
Yep.
Yeah.
The April Fool's jokes that are just new content for free are kind of weird.
It's like, oh, thank you.
You fooled me with your new thing.
Jokes on you.
I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's like the DK rap.
It's good, you know, in that it's awful.
Yeah.
Um, and, and, uh, Grant was like on Twitter.
It was like basically teasing it and, and going,
fuck me in my life for doing this.
But here we go.
Yooka.
Yooka.
Laylee.
It doesn't have the same.
I think it's catchy.
Yeah.
But it's not going to catch on in the same way, obviously,
because it's, it's, uh, it didn't take you by surprise.
Leave it.
Battlefield ones is terrible.
It's just a fucking unicorn.
Yeah.
Um, bound through in Kratos as a playable character.
Is the game still on?
People still play Battlefield 1?
Yes, dude.
They will play it until Battlefield 2 comes out again.
Uh, the player app, which is a romance app for PlayStation Network.
Uh, The Witchers was pretty funny.
It's a, uh, Geralt figurine where he's just in a fucking bathtub with candles.
He's like that at the beginning of the game.
People would buy that for real.
That's real.
That's hilarious.
That is really good.
Um, yeah.
No, I believe it.
I believe it.
Seeing if you can peek in the bubbles.
Uh, there was nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
Well, that's the next decent one here.
Injustice 2, I didn't mind.
Wonder Twins.
Dude, put the Wonder Twins in.
Injustice 2 as a tag team.
Yeah, if they're doing the shit like, um...
Form of a centipede.
Like Kate and Sid.
Shape of an ice vagina.
Like, you like twin characters when they're working well together.
Yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
Do it.
I think the Wonder Twins are great because they're the worst ever.
Yeah.
Go watch that episode of Teen Titans about them.
Oh.
And like, the fucking water brother just gets shit on the whole time.
It's great.
Good.
Good.
Because he is shit.
Wonder Twins.
Whenever they were handing out the powers, did he show a plate?
Like, she gets to be cool animal things and he gets to be water.
Yeah.
Episode Kenny for Final Fantasy 15, whatnot.
There was a...
The Baeo one is weird.
But because this is what I'm...
The reason why I'm going through this is because there's some real stories
in the middle of this round-dome.
Yeah.
So Bayonetta is...
The gag is that they put the old 8-bit Bayonetta.
On Steam now as a free download.
Aha.
But it leads to a real countdown clock.
That appears to be for Baeo one for PC.
We don't know what it's going to be.
But if it's related to the fact that they put this out on Steam, then yeah.
It very much looks like it's a Baeo one on PC.
I believe it.
I like G-Force.
The worst April Fools jokes are ones that do that.
Where they suggest something that you really want and then...
It's like they're just lining you up and just punching you in the gut for no reason.
The G-Force one was pretty good because it's about,
hey, we have a new feature called G-Assist which plays your games for you.
That's not as funny.
The PC mod community frothing for Bayonetta,
I'm sure, has the assets and folders lined up ready to replace.
You skimmed over it, but I wanted to point out,
I want a big thumbs up to not only our own subreddit's April Fools,
which was fantastic.
Well done.
Turned us all into toilets.
As we deserve.
But my favorite overall trend of April Fools is subreddits turning into other subreddits.
Like our Zelda turning in.
So Zelda and Horizon Swap.
The really confusing one was FF11 and FF14 subreddits turned into each other.
Stuff like that.
It's enough that you get de facto fooled because you think you clicked the wrong thing.
You clicked the wrong link.
Right, right, right.
I will mention on that note,
I guess I kind of have to, that the Guild Wars 2 subreddits changed all their stuff to be
screenshots from one of my cartoons.
My, nobody likes you Cormier thing, which is very, very early work on my part.
That's great.
Excellent.
And they wanted to know what I thought of it and it's like,
yeah, I pretend Guild Wars 2 doesn't exist.
And they're like, oh.
Arxis did a whole thing that I didn't quite understand,
but all I know is Potemkin and Leo were wearing dresses.
Yes.
And I guess they all became idols.
But who cares about that?
Let's talk about Erika.
So this is the most baffling one.
And we'll just go right into the story because Erika,
the people that made Street Fighter EX and Fighting Layer announced their April Fools,
which was fucking prototype gameplay of something that looks like a really good game,
or at the very least a legit fighter.
And it was like unclear why or how this was an April Fools joke.
Now, there's a lot.
And the story evolved as it went on.
There's a lot here, but the very first reaction I think nearly everyone had is like,
you made three fake characters and multiple stages.
As a joke?
I'm doing big air quotes here.
Joke?
And you did combo videos for like, what is it?
A 10 minute video where they do combos.
They all have supers.
They all have intro.
Like that's a lot, isn't it?
Yeah.
And it turns out, and then like there's a whole stream and whatnot.
No.
And so it turns out the joke really is the fact that they're announcing this without really,
without any lead up or build up.
Haha, funny joke.
What is this?
And apparently April 1st is also a large business day for Japan in general.
That comes to me, how do they interpret April Fools?
Because they obviously do not treat it the same way that we do.
Well, again, apparently it's a normal or rather important business day.
Well, it should be.
And things getting announced is not entirely uncommon.
Is it because of the first quarter?
Yeah.
That's about the first financial quarter so far then.
Exactly.
And that's it.
So what you see here is basically the Street Fighter EX characters minus obviously the Capcom ones.
What?
Like they did with Fighting Layer.
Fighting an engine.
And we have Garuda, Kairi, and God, what's her name?
Ah, fuck.
I don't know.
Not, whatever.
It's not Pullum, but Hokuto.
Whatever, they look great.
And yeah, this game looks like it plays like a faster version of EX, Street Fighter EX,
and Fighting Layer.
Appropriately being called Fighting EX Layer.
Skull Fireman looks crazy.
Yeah.
I want to see updated Alan Schneider.
I want to see updated Cracker Jack.
An area.
And Dr. Dark, obviously.
All of that, even though their backstories are tied to the Street Fighter.
That's fine.
They can just ignore it.
And they just ignore it.
It's a fucking fighting game.
Yeah.
The stages look really good.
And basically what we have here is a.
Shoika.
Working pretty proof of concept.
Although the stage here in one of the trailers is just a bridge.
And because it's a fully 3D game, you're dealing with actual walls that are closer together
than they would be in an open 3D environment.
So yeah, this is visually very similar to when, I think it was two years ago when they
did Virtual Fighter R or whatever the fuck, where they had a Canon Ryu style character
added to VF and they were all throwing fireballs.
Right, right, right.
And like people were like, oh, that's really cool.
But it's not real.
Whereas this one, it's like, what?
And here's the here's why you get excited.
Because this means that no matter what happens now, unless this doesn't go through,
unless this proof of concept never goes anywhere.
Skullomania is back for real.
Because the what we wanted was for Capcom to just buy the character.
And put him in Street Fighter.
And it doesn't look like that happened.
So the next best thing is he's back on his own.
Is he comes back on his own as a part of Fighting EX Layer.
Good.
Because fucking Skullomania is the shit.
And he needs to be on the box.
And he needs to be the Ryu of the game.
Yes.
He needs to be the main character.
Just push it, push it, push it, push it.
No one, no one cares about Alan or Kyrie as much as they do Skull.
Oh, there's a lot of people that care about Kyrie.
You know, and Darun Mister is going to be back.
He's great.
And he's going to be doing the ridiculous
Ota Grappler's shit that he does.
Gamble of Darun is coming back.
But Skullomania needs to be the box man.
He needs to be the poster boy.
He also needs to be the final boss.
What is his actual name, something?
Looked like his name was Gerudo or something almost.
Oh, that's a different character.
That's the guy in the footage.
The guy in the footage is Geruda.
Yeah, he was the last boss of the X series.
Okay.
But Skullomania is the guy that looks like La Parka.
He's in the skeleton.
You're not doing a bit.
His actual name is Skullomania.
No.
Yes, Skullomania.
He's, dude, he's amazing.
Skullomania is...
How does Plague not know about Skullomania?
I don't know.
I don't give a shit about your dumb games.
Well, I know, right?
That's on point.
Well, that's fine.
But let me educate you if you would for a moment, Skull.
Sure.
Tell me all about Skullomania.
Skullomania was a character that...
He was the best character from the Street Fighter EX series,
which included non-canon people that Areka made up.
And everyone loves him because he is a Sentai hero.
He is a man.
He's an office worker that puts on skeleton tights one day
and he has a Kamen Rider scarf.
And he does crazy ass superhero moves in the name of justice
and because he's Skullomania.
And he has a rival that shows up in EX2.
A fucking god damn it.
His name is slipping from me.
I forget.
And he's a cooler...
Kelvasomania?
No, no.
God, I forgot his rival's name.
But he's nowhere near as cool as Skullomania, I'm guessing.
No.
Skullomania is the best.
He fights for justice.
Skullo is disappointing.
Whatever.
You have someone that has a rival that's just...
Shadowgeist.
Shadowgeist is the rival's name.
Oh, who?
Watch out.
Right.
And...
Shadowgeist.
Oh, fuck you, play.
You're the worst.
And...
Shadowmania.
And he's...
All of his moves are moves that have Skullo dream,
Skullo head, Skullo dive.
They all have Skullo in front of them.
I would expect that.
Good.
So yeah, Shadowgeist is the rival.
That is how it should be.
And he's got a big ass on his head just like Skullomania.
That guy's evil.
And Skullomania versus Shadowgeist is...
Is that his Japanese name as well?
That's his name.
Yeah, that's his name.
It's a rivalry that we need to relive.
We need to bring it back.
Well, good for him.
I hope he does well in life.
Why do you send back my dreams, Plague?
What?
I wish him well.
I'm sure he will be a great Skullomania man
in whatever game that's coming out.
When you sandbag me, you sandbag on my dreams.
My Skullo dreams.
He's very cute.
He has a raging...
Oh, that!
Come on, man!
You are...
You're doing to Skullomania...
He's doing that thing!
What scientists are doing to T-Rexes and it needs to stop.
Did you know Skullomania uses his nose to nuzzle against his lover?
Dude, there's some great art of...
He makes cooing noises as he leaves the office.
There is some great art of Skullomania kidnapping Ryu.
Oh, yeah, and Ryu is super buff and naked.
And turning Ryu into one of his Skull Warriors.
And you see everyone else from the Street Fighter universe.
Skullo.
You must have seen this art play.
It's got Ryu's junk hanging out.
Kind of censored, but it's still official.
Official Ryu junk.
Ryu is strapped to a table and all the other world warriors have been Skullified.
No?
Not ringing a bell?
Okay.
No.
Okay.
Well, anyway, I threw it up.
I'm sure it's very good art, though.
You can check it out.
I threw it up there for you.
Anyway, and yeah, then there's a bunch of other April Fool shit, but...
Including Rick and Morty for some bizarre reason.
The one that I saw that...
I've said a lot of people because Sam Ray Jack didn't hear.
The one that I saw that gendered the most amount of hatred was the FF14 one,
like the official FF14 one, because it was Tactics Alexander.
And people who don't play 14 just saw that one.
What is this new Tactics Advance game?
Oh my God.
And like the music's great and it looks just like Tactics Advance.
And it's like, it's super not real.
They're not making another Tactics game, guys.
I hate that.
That's the one that I hate the most.
But your brain should have the filter up.
And if anything gets through the AT field...
I guess you're a fool.
It's your fault.
You get excited over bullshit on April 1st.
It's your fault.
The one that got me was like a one that was going around that was like,
Hey, Monster Hunter on the Switch.
Just how you want to play it.
And you click and it's fucking Rick Roll.
And it's like...
Because it might not...
But because like that one, the problem with that is I knew that was fake.
But I had to make sure.
The goal of April Fool's is not to fool anyone.
It's to just be as malicious as possible.
But the problem also is that it might not be the official companies doing the thing that hurts you.
It reminds me of that comic of a so-and-so doesn't understand April Fool's.
And he throws an egg in the back of someone's head and then he turns around.
Hey, what's wrong with you?
He just punches him in the face.
Did you see the Dragon Ball Super one, Plague?
Yeah, I didn't understand it.
They have suits.
It's like, oh, well, that's a good image.
I like that.
The office workers going to work.
And it looks exactly like those Pachinko machines where they have the fucking
office ban show series or whatever it is.
I really appreciate Piccolo with the jacket coming off and he's got the tie.
Like that's probably my favorite part of that.
I really like 18.
That suits doing things for me.
Yeah, you are not wrong.
You should be excited about Vanessa showing up in KOF, although I don't like the fact that they
not I don't like, but they kind of made her pursuit a little bit fancier than it needs to be.
Because it used to just be like army gear and not even fatigues, but just like the green
of an army uniform that they converted into something that's like pretty in striped.
And it's like coming up next on drafting board.
Yeah, drawing board, you mean, maybe?
Whatever the fuck it is that I named it.
Dragon Ball Super has been getting much better.
I heard you tweeting about that.
I heard you.
I saw you talking about that.
And I'm curious as to what you mean by that.
It's just getting it's, you know, how everyone is like all the characters are useless, Goku,
you know, transformations.
This is all the typical Dragon Ball complaints.
Super basically has been kind of trying to fix that now.
And this whole arc is like in the latest episode, for example, Goku is like,
we need to bring Krillin on board for this tournament because it's going to be a battle
royale.
It's just going to be 80 people fighting each other at the same time.
And Gohan is like, okay, I need the test and see if Krillin's up to this though,
because he's just going to get the shit kicked out of him.
And Krillin humiliates Gohan.
And I love it whenever Gohan discusses the shit kicked out of him because I fucking hate Gohan.
Gohan's the coolest and the strongest though.
Oh yeah, he totally is.
That's why he always fails all the time.
Does Goku ever get mad at Beerus?
Because it seems like they're having a great time.
Oh yeah, they get mad.
Beerus nearly killed Goku because Goku was going to take off.
I need to tell the Omni King about the tournament that's coming up.
And Beerus is like, do not tell him.
He will forget and that will spare all of our universes from being destroyed or whatever.
And Goku's like, no, I want to fight though.
And so Beerus threatens, I will kill you.
I am dead fucking serious.
I will kill you if you do that.
And Goku like does a cute little Goku thing where he flips a button up in the air and then he
instant transmissions away before anyone can stop him.
And so universes are condemned to death.
Billions will die.
Trillions will die because of Goku.
Because he knows Goku.
You're a rascal.
Yep.
Goku would like, he wouldn't kill the baby, but he would step over a dying baby if it meant fighting
Frieza one more time.
And that's the problem when you have to build up a character like a Ryu after time
goes on forever and ever and ever.
And all they have is the fight.
As you get to the point where fuck just my family and their lives.
The existence of everything and whatnot is not as important as a really good fight.
My favorite thing about Goku's new behavior is that
like Vegeta was always portrayed as like when he was a dick anyway.
Being obsessed with-
As like he's, but not just that.
Like he is all the negative traits of the Saiyans, right?
He's now like the most positive.
Whereas-
He's actually become a really good person.
Like Goku is the best example of like even the most kind-hearted, good guy,
bastion of justice guy.
Like the Saiyans personality traits are such that they had to go.
They had to go.
But his issues are more that he's a child.
Yes.
You know?
So you could look at it as good and bad at first, but then it just becomes-
He doesn't have an excuse anymore, either.
Vegeta's an adult and Goku's a child.
Yeah, Goku's just a big man, baby.
He wants his favorite thing and his favorite thing is punching things.
Pat, you stepped out the-
His big brain dead idiot.
To dump ass a little bit, but-
No, no, no, just my dick.
Okay.
Well, to dump dick.
Okay.
Well, how do you-
That's bad words to say.
How do you feel about the Vanessa's new design?
What's different about it?
The pants are striped and she's got the little lace on her shirt.
Oh, that's barely a change.
Yeah, it's-
I didn't even notice.
The lace shirt looks pretty cool.
I like the lace shirt, but the pants I am just kind of like-
I like Gi's new design as Rock Howard.
As Rock Howard.
No, I don't.
King of Fighters.
I'm glad for everybody who's really thrilled that Rock is there,
but I'm still just-
I wish I liked him better because every time I see Rock, I see a less cool Gi's Howard.
I hear you, and I disagree.
But that's fine.
I wish that we would get more characters that were like,
your existence means that we can't ignore the fact that time moves and exists.
Yes, I am a big fan of that.
You know?
Cushwood, but-
But she doesn't really have a business suit.
Looking at picture of Vanessa now.
It's not really a business suit.
She's just kind of-
She kind of has a fancy cut off blouse.
No, so what she's wearing is-
It's business cash.
Look up the character Seth from-
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Right?
And she's wearing the-
She's wearing a female version of that,
which is just the like army green pants, red tie, white business shirt, you know?
But they've just kind of made it a little bit fancier with the lace trimmings and such.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know.
But anyway, no, because the existence of Marco Rodriguez and Cushwood Butt means that-
I like Marco a hell of a lot more than I like Rock.
Sure, but either way, I'm saying they-
Like, it means that Rio had a student, you know?
And like Dong and Kim Jaehoon mean that Kim Kapwan had kids.
Yeah.
Like, I want characters that are like grounded in the fact that like these are the next generation,
these are the future.
Okay, so I'm just thinking like, I'm not that big a fan of Rock,
but Rock coming in means that we're one step closer to old Terry Bogard.
I don't mean Marco the Wolf is Terry Bogard.
I'm talking about the step after that.
I'm talking about like old master Terry Bogard,
because I don't know how his character and his like demeanor fit into like being 40 plus.
Well, the problem is that as long as we're talking KOF timeline and not Fatal Fury timeline,
because Terry went back to his Fatal Fury 1 costume and Geese Howard's alive, so-
Terry's the guy in the hat, right?
It's goofy.
Yes, Terry.
Yes, yes, yes, Plague.
Terry's the guy with the hat.
He has the hat that you have, right?
The Fatal Fury thing?
That's the one.
Okay, good.
That's the one.
He is the man.
How do you make him like 50 years old?
He's got to take off that fucking hat.
He does.
And give it-
So what does he look like then?
He wears a bomber jacket and jeans.
And he's got to give it to Rock.
Wait, this turns into Leon?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, that's fine.
This sounds all right.
Google Maps did the same thing they did before,
which is Pac-Man showing up on your Google Maps app.
Yeah, that's all right.
Which, you know, whatever.
Uh, and then I want to say,
what else?
Was there anything else interesting with April Fool's?
I don't remember.
Old San Juan Cagura lady.
No.
That's for someone.
Okay.
Yeah, that was it.
All right.
The other bit of news was not that anyone couldn't see it coming,
but Mad Cats is now dead.
Yay.
That depresses me so much.
It's just, it's just a series of poor business decisions,
namely the plastic guitar decision.
Yes.
Because-
Sorry, I should-
No, it-
No, no, it's-
They burned it.
It's ridiculous.
They burned it.
This is close to your hearts.
Your precious little angel hearts.
It's not.
It's not.
It's actually-
See, whatever I think of Mad Cats, I think of the era,
like they apparently got-
You told me this.
They got way better.
Yes, dude.
But I think of the era where they were just don't-
I know that.
Exactly.
That's why it bums me out.
And that's why you saying it's close to our hearts is wrong,
because it's not.
No, Mad Cats used to mean shit.
It was a trash brand that somehow hung in there
alongside Liang number one and performance.
And then they said, hey, let's make really high quality things.
And we started by getting Markman on our team,
and they knew that Street Fighter V,
Street Fighter IV was coming,
and that the world would need arcade sticks.
So they went to the-
They made the brilliant decision of going,
one, get rid of all of our previous production practices,
and start in by getting Sanwa parts,
by getting JLF joysticks.
High quality luxury items.
And putting together a stick that would be,
one, available everywhere for people
that are going to be massively demanding it
because Street Fighter is coming back.
That's correct.
And two, rivaling Hori with the quality of their parts.
Right out the gate.
Right out the gate.
And if they did it, it was brilliant.
And the tournament edition stick was everywhere.
It was the de facto high bar.
It was official, and Markman was out chilling it
and showing everybody.
I have four of them.
And we all went, yeah, that's a great stick, right?
The fucking TE Plus that they put out just recently,
the smaller version of the TE II,
that sticks my favorite stick ever.
It's got non-Sanwa parts in it.
Well, I still like it.
They lost that piece in so far.
You guys tell me, how's this going to affect the stick market?
A very little Hori still exists.
Nothing.
Is that a fucking Canva still exists?
Yeah, and furthermore, they were already on the outs with it.
If anything, what it affects is the next generation of consoles
because there's going to be a new place that's open for these things.
And Canvas here.
Hori and Canva are invincible, so they're fine.
And at the end of the day, as long as you're getting your JLF
and Sanwa buttons, it doesn't matter.
You can make it yourself.
But it sucks seeing a company go,
we're going to do right and make high-quality parts.
Succeed, come back and make a new name for themselves,
reinvent their brand as quality fighting game sticks.
And other quality parts for other things.
Right.
And then become a sponsor to top players in the fighting game community.
And become a respected brand when you see someone
with those four scratches on their chest.
They sponsored Tiger for a while, for fuck's sake.
People were fashionably wearing the four scratches as a thing
because it was like, yo, that's what Daigo wears, right?
And another bankrupt.
Now they're bankrupt.
And how did it happen?
Well, one, they clearly were losing money.
They let go of all their sponsorships.
Then Mark Mann left.
And then they signed on to this guitar hero deal.
Didn't go very well.
And guitar hero flopped and they flopped with it.
Sounds like they have upper management problems.
They anchored themselves to a sinking ship.
And yeah, absolutely.
They made some terrible management decisions
that leads to them now filing for bankruptcy.
And they've already.
And it's the bad one.
It's the bad bankruptcy.
It's why chapter seven.
They're completely liquid.
Chapter seven is the company is dead.
Yeah.
CEO resigned in 2016.
We saw a layoffs of 37 percent of their employees,
including Mark Mann, which we should have.
That was the death knell.
Exactly.
Like you saw the death fart.
I should say.
Okay.
Where does he go then?
Mark Mann already moved on.
Mark Mann goes wherever the fuck he wants.
Mark Mann is currently managing sponsored players.
So he's.
Okay.
It kind of sounds like the.
It's one right now, for example.
You kind of have given me the impression
that the stick market revolves around specific people
more than it does like huge groups of people.
So it kind of sounds like if a company folds,
that core group could just go on to another company
or form their own thing.
When it comes to sponsorships,
they can get sponsored by whoever,
which there are tons of new sponsors out there.
Echo Fox, Rise, all these people are out there
picking up the slack.
When it comes to stick parts,
the important part is not the person who puts together
the stick and ships it to you.
It's Sanwa.
It's Sanwa.
And Simetsu to a degree.
Simetsu.
Hap to a degree.
Right.
Hap.
Simetsu.
Sanwa.
But Sanwa owns the fucking.
Those are the people that make the good parts.
And those parts are what get put into every good stick.
So this has basically zero effect on the market.
Now it has zero effect
because they already got their generation of sticks out.
Right.
Yes.
The problem would have been the average consumer.
If they didn't get these sticks out,
the average consumer looking for a stick
would have had to deal with importing.
They'd have to try their hand at.
Because Kanbas, if you don't know where to look,
they're not easy to find.
They are not.
You're not going to walk into a GameStop
and find a counter.
No, you got to fucking go to the Canadian Joysticks
fucking Facebook group.
And so you can wait until they say they have more in stock.
The strength of Madcats was they're distributing
because they were on GameStop shelves,
which is the that's as far as a lot of people
are willing to put in an effort to finding a stick.
Right.
Yeah.
A lot of people.
As bad as I remember,
Madcats being it's a recognizable name.
Yeah.
And, you know, towards the latter half of the last generation,
you know, once everyone got their sticks out early,
there was a bunch of them available sitting on shelves
where you're like, if anyone was slacking or like was like,
yeah, you know what?
I think I'm going to get a stick.
You could go find one.
And so they filed at a very good time.
They filed at a time when they put out their premiere brand.
For the market.
Yeah, they put out their premiere sticks
and their lower end ones for the for this generation.
And that's that.
So as long until we ship,
we move upwards and onwards,
we're going to have these.
But the other cool thing is that it is possible,
depending on how they want,
different fighting game companies want to handle this,
that future consoles can just be backwards compatible
with these as peripherals.
That may or may not happen.
Skullgirls put out that driver that lets, you know,
and yet it's still not a C sticks commonly used in Street Fighter
Fives got them.
You know, I mean, it's something that is up to the game.
Yeah.
And if they want to, as they should,
because fighting games need to band together and,
you know what I mean?
Like let people that spend a lot of money on a peripheral use it.
They can let you play with your over going forward.
Like Hori will likely see that there was more of a market
in North America than expected.
And with Madcats gone,
hopefully they'll pick up the slack next next time around.
Hori's been trying, you know,
when they had the VLX come out,
they were pushing their pros.
Like the HAP is not the HAP, sorry,
the RAP is always a stick that they make for America as well.
But it's just they don't have the same distributing power.
But with Madcats out of the picture,
maybe they can make a deal with GameStop.
Hopefully, if GameStop still exists next generation.
But yeah, that's the saddest part about this plague is that
Madcats going out of business is not really that big a deal.
And they just fucked up.
They did their they made their mistakes.
We saw it coming a mile away and now it's in stone.
That poor angry feline company.
Well, as long as the rest in rest,
as long as the actual people that were behind it are fine,
it's not that big of a deal.
Because most of the reflection of a company folding
is usually it's upper level management being a bunch of idiots.
And if those people are gone,
it's not like you're losing much of anything.
If the actual talent still exists in the industry.
Yeah, those people left last year.
Speaking of people leaving,
this was something that I didn't really think too much of
until I saw that it was actually two people leaving.
From Model of Soft,
the director and co-director of the.
Well, now I mean,
the main thing they're known for now is the the cross boring series,
unfortunately.
But we had Soichiro Morizumi and Koji Ishitani,
both left Model of Soft.
And they were the guys that headed up the Namco X Capcom.
They headed up the Endless Frontier Games,
the Super Robot OG saga games.
And of course, Project Cross Zone.
Oh, and Zeno Saga F1.
Zeno Saga F1 going back far enough.
I think Koji was also on Legend of Dragoon,
right?
And the Power Rangers came as well.
Yeah, so both of these guys just left.
The designers that worked on nothing but mediocre games.
And they'd been there for years.
And it's like I love Namco X Capcom of that list,
mainly more than anything.
And even that has its problems.
And I just kind of like.
Yeah, I played Legend of Dragoon.
And I unfortunately had to play Zeno Saga,
which like the first game is like, oh god, why did I get this?
Yeah, no, like with the exception of Yesenori Matsuda,
anybody who worked on the Zeno Saga series like, oh, boo-hoo.
Legend of Dragoon is the game that I pull those dragon pictures up
that piss you off, Pat.
Whenever I start writing on that.
No, they don't piss me off.
It's your fucking stupid attitude.
They're dragons.
Sure, they're dragons.
That's fine.
But you saying the only dragons I like
are completely unrecognizable as dragons
makes you a fucking idiot.
You might as well just say I don't like dragons.
No, it's that if your dragons are overplayed and boring,
then you need to do something interesting.
No, you don't.
You don't understand how bad he is.
He is he's like 10 times the baddest.
Well, aren't I right?
Isn't it great how right I am about this?
I haven't heard the extent of your insanity with it.
This was like a fucking like screaming match
and like German spies fucking discord like a year ago.
Or it's just like.
Well, it's not really a screaming match.
It's more you screaming at an indifferent wall.
Remember how.
Remember how wrong.
I'm going to punch your dick, Eli.
I'm going to punch your fucking dick.
Remember how wrong I was about my first impressions
of Demon's Souls?
Yeah, I do.
Right about how generic fantasy.
No, you know what's more important than that?
You remember how you you were like a man
and you were like, oh man, I made a mistake
and was wrong about my impressions.
You remember that?
OK.
Fuck Eli.
Well, see, my argument is that dragons are lame
because imagine a dragon and it's just like,
oh, there's a thing with the wings.
It's red and has little horns on his face or whatever.
And I'm like, that sucks.
That dragons are fucking lame for that reason.
That's fine.
You can like that.
You can be like that.
Give me Legend of Dragoon type dragons,
which are just crazy, like, crafty and almost things.
Then what?
They're fairly recognizable.
But no, that then there's not even dragons.
Dragons.
So a dragon has wings and arms and fucking a face of respire.
You just said that they're dragons, Pat.
You just admitted they were dragons.
So that it was fine.
If anything, I think my problem
would be the fact that dragons are unevenly popular.
Yes.
When you take a monster manual and flip through it.
Oh, I totally agree.
And there's tons of amazing designs in there,
tons of awesome cool creatures that don't get no play
because everything's dragons.
I think that sucks.
You know?
Yeah, call it a dragon if you need to,
but get that crazy ass design into the game.
A beholder is so much more horrifying and cool
in the sense that like that's a scary ass thing
you don't want to run into.
Yeah.
My favorite Dark Souls dragon is a gaping dragon
and it looks nothing like a dragon.
No, he looks like a dragon, dude.
Yeah.
The big thing that has a giant gaping maw is a body.
He has legs and he has a head.
He does have a little dingley,
like a crocodile alligator head.
Yeah.
This is adorable.
I think you're going specifically in on like Skyrim type dragons, right?
No, he's going in on any recognizable dragon design ever.
Oh, I didn't say that.
Yeah, you did.
My sweet little princess pad.
You said that a year ago, I remember.
But yeah, I don't really like traditional dragons all that much.
I got it.
You know, again, they do get overplayed, you know?
But I mean, like on a thing like fucking, well, whatever,
Game of Thrones, it's like it was still cool
in how underplayed it was and then it becomes an overplayed thing.
The reason why I get so frustrated with playing over this
is because it's a classification thing.
And he was, man, I fucking hate hamburgers.
They're the fucking worst except for this hamburger
and he holds up a grilled cheese with a slice of ham in it.
He was, this is the only kind of hamburger I like
because it's different from all those other hamburgers.
Yeah, motherfucker.
It's completely unrecognizable as one.
It's the best hamburger.
What can I say?
If it's if it's a traditional dragon design
that's been melted, dilapidated, ripped open and warped.
But here's the problem.
Calling back to earlier, a hamburger is a real thing.
Dragons don't exist.
Dragons are real, dude.
Dragons are not real.
They're obviously the concept of a dragon is clear and defined.
It is not.
There's such a thing as a real dragon and not real dragon.
I played a game that has very ill defined dragons
that you do not care for.
Oh, shit.
That, my friend, is a hamburger.
All right, let's go.
Top 10 coolest dragons.
Number one, the 3,000 year old Chinese myth dragon
in the body of a 13 year old girl.
Sean Connery.
Oh, yeah.
He is a really cool dragon.
I forgot about that.
Not not talking about the movie.
Just talking about Sean Connery.
Okay, yeah.
Just Sean Connery himself.
We had a we had a lady that came by the grocery store
that we used to call the dragon lady.
Rick Flair.
She was the worst human being I've ever encountered ever.
Just disgusting top to bottom.
Rain of fire.
That's a good one too.
Rain of fire, the dragon?
Yeah, they spit the stomach acids at each other
to make the fire.
Yeah.
Don't forget Liu Kang.
That's a dragon.
Technically a dragon.
You can't pretend he's not a dragon.
He's a dragon inside.
Yep.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Whoa, amp blowing up.
Whoa, amp.
Eli.
Hello.
Hello.
Shang.
Sorry.
Not Shang-Sung.
Um, Shen Long.
I'm a big fan of Shen Ryu.
Shen Long.
Shen Ryu is a cool dragon.
Yep.
That's you can't pretend he's not.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Now, here's the problem.
I think dragons are cool enough,
but yeah, they're crazy overdone.
They're like,
like I'm a little tired of dragons.
A little bit.
A little bit.
Dudley.
Dudley.
Dudley the dragon.
That's like the boxer.
The adventure is Dudley the dragon.
Oh.
Yeah.
Little stuffed animal guy.
Puff.
Puff the magic dragon.
That's a dragon.
It's a high quality dragon right there.
Yep.
Don't forget about that one.
Nope.
Rue McClanahan.
Rue McClanahan.
Nope.
Bahamut.
Nah, man.
Shen Ryu is cooler than Bahamut.
Okay.
Well, he looks more like a dragon.
Yeah.
Bahamut looks like a,
like a proper,
like Western dragon.
He's like a beast man dragon.
Yeah.
And Shen Ryu looks like all weird
and spiky and cool and shit.
Volvagia.
That name always rubbed me the wrong way.
I bet it did.
That's a dragon.
It always got rubbed the wrong way.
That's another,
another dragon.
Don't forget about that.
Okay.
So the news basically was that this guy.
Frog door.
Frog door.
That's my number one dragon right there.
That's a dragon.
Got to put a big beefy arm on there.
Can't tend to run a dragon.
Pardonate the villager.
That's a dragon, man.
Don't forget about frog door.
But this guy died, right?
That's a new story.
The, the, the dragon that they make all those
dick molds out of.
Yep.
That's just, that's a good dragon.
They molded that dragon.
That dragon's really tired.
He's a bad dragon.
His drag.
He's, he's a very bad dragon.
He's depressed and they just have him
liquored up so that they can mold his dick.
Oh, Seath's actually a cool dragon.
He is not.
By definition, he is not.
He's a cool guy.
You can't be a cool dragon and also be a
bitch at the same time.
Oh yeah, you can.
Cure you the dragon.
Yeah.
He's a cool dragon.
He's really a human, but he's actually a dragon.
Magikarp.
Can't pretend he's not a dragon.
Magikarp's a cool dragon.
You can fight that one.
You can die on that hill.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Magikarp's the coolest dragon in Pokemon.
Fight me.
Oh, that was a good one.
All right.
Godzilla.
That's not a dragon.
God, you're saying Cure you's a dragon,
but fucking Godzilla's not a dragon?
He's not.
I bet you anyone involved in Godzilla would look at you.
Godzilla is a fucking four-limbed fire-breathing lizard.
No, he's not.
Godzilla is clearly a grilled cheese sandwich.
Godzilla fights dragons.
He's not a dragon himself.
No, he doesn't.
A fucking Ghidorah is not a dragon.
Ghidorah is a fucking Hydra, man.
Gonna learn the war.
Jesus.
Well, but that's the multi-headed dragon,
multi-headed snake.
You know what I mean?
Say he's a Hydra, man.
Come on, he's obviously a...
Yeah, you know, it's fine.
Okay.
I really want to eat a grilled cheese sandwich now, though.
Grilled cheese is really good.
Yeah, they're great hamburgers.
I love them.
I'm gonna...
Oh, boy, this man.
It's the only person at the current moment
that has the ability to rile me up so quickly.
You getting riled up?
I'm getting riled up.
Some wipeouts going on over here.
Some huge wipeouts.
Some wipeouts going on in this podcast.
More news.
The green ranger.
He's a good dragon.
He's got a dragon sword.
Got a dragon sword right there.
It's not a dragon sword, man.
It's dragon.
Tell you what.
I'm totally not looking up.
I heard that movie is acceptably mediocre.
Which one?
The Power Rangers movie?
The Power Rangers movie, yes.
What...
Wait, what other options were there in this sentence?
Um...
Oh, yeah, get it out.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I got one.
The dragon...
The Namekian dragon.
That's a...
That's a dragon.
That's a dragon.
He's a fatty compared to Shenlong,
but he's a dragon too.
You can't pretend he's not a dragon.
He's buff.
Yep.
Skipped leg day, though.
He gets better wishes for some reason.
I don't get it.
I don't know what's up with that.
Why...
What's up with that?
Why is he...
Well, he can't revive more than one people.
One one people, one person.
Yeah, I don't get it.
Yeah, one people, why not?
Fuck it.
Shuka.
Oh crap.
I'm looking up dragons.
You got more dragons for me?
There's a shit.
Wait, what was the news about the green ranger?
Did you know that the Naga is actually just a dragon?
Which one's that again?
That's the one with no arms and legs.
It's like a snake dragon.
It does not mean that...
Ghidorah's actually a Drake.
No, Ghidorah's got legs.
Wyverns are defined by having poison barbs on their tails.
It's not about having just wings.
It depends.
Wyverns traditionally have no upper arms.
They just have legs and wings.
Drinks do not have any wings at all.
And dragons usually have four little limbs and they also have wings.
Mushu.
Mushu's a good dragon.
Sounds like Eddie Murphy.
He's a good, he's a good dragon.
That's one.
You can get Ridley in there if you like it.
Liam's a good dragon.
Liam's a dragon.
Ridley's a dragon.
Space dragons.
We got those.
Yeah, this podcast sucks.
Yeah, it's not great.
That's this podcast.
It's a good dragon because it's dragon on and on.
Okay, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna.
Can we tap out of the bit yet?
I think we got like a couple more, honestly.
Billy and Jimmy Lee.
They're the double dragons.
Dude, tellin' ya.
That's two dragons.
Tellin' ya.
Don't pretend.
Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy.
That sounds like a dragon name.
He's green.
Y'all thought we forgot.
He's a cool dragon.
Yeah, that's what I'm looking for.
Guardians of the Galaxy and Telltale Series,
Episode 1 launches April 18th.
This is a game that Marvel's been teasing
as their first Telltale game.
This is by far the most obvious pick of any property
Marvel has for a Telltale game.
It's not an MCU game, however.
Oh, good.
This is actually the Guardians of the Galaxy,
not from MCU, but inspired by their designs, clearly.
Clearly.
But it's going off of its own world, its own thing.
So they don't have to know what happens in the movies,
so they don't have to get hung up on development times.
They can defeat Thanos as hard as they want to,
and no one can tell them not to.
The voice acting is not obviously the characters from the movie?
No, because then it would be a very expensive game.
Exactly, and that's gonna be weird
because Chris Pratt, man, we like what we heard.
I like that Chris Pratt and the Zoey Seldana
and the fucking Batista.
I think honestly, this is gonna come down
to Tales of the Borderland style,
where it's like, it's gotta be the writing.
It's gotta be the writing,
because you've got the property, guys.
You've got it.
Here it is.
It's funny.
Everyone likes the characters.
It's hot right now.
It's hot.
It's hot.
So you just gotta make sure it's really hot.
You know what's hot?
Dragon Breath, nail it.
Yeah, bam.
That's that.
There you go.
Did it.
The way that comics and movies are combining
is getting really strange, especially Marvel,
since the movies have taken off so much,
like how mutants are just being killed off
in the comics.
Yeah, because of bad movie decisions.
Cyclops is dead, though.
That's a-
Yeah, woo!
Here, how about that?
Woo, fuck that bitch!
He died because he breathed in gas.
Great.
What a way to go out.
Good.
Way to go, buddy.
Cyclops is right in my ass.
Fucking dead.
You can be dead and right.
No.
He's wrong and he's dead.
You're righter if you're alive.
That is true.
It is true.
The more alive you are, the more right you are.
Yes, even if it's just a little.
Even like a tiny bit, but like-
You do get a bonus if you die.
Yeah.
If you get those martyr points, it does go up,
but if you're alive for longer,
then it eclipses at over time.
But what if you had no chance, though?
Like, what if you were born over a pit?
Yeah.
Like, you had no chance.
What, is she leaning over the edge?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I gotta put her somewhere.
Let's get this shit out.
And like, you slide out and then someone chops the umbilical
and you're in freefall.
Yeah.
Right away.
Yeah.
Born to a draft lady.
Can that really be your fault?
Are you-
Are you wrong?
You know, that's what happened to the third Mishima character.
Why wait?
Yeah.
Right in a volcano.
You know, that's literally born to die.
Yeah.
Right?
World's a fuck.
World is a fuck.
How can you really be wrong in that scenario?
You know?
Yeah.
So I think-
What is he right or wrong?
There is no right or wrong in that scenario.
Yeah, I know.
He simply is.
He is to not.
Or he was.
He is to-
What cannot be if one is not to be?
Did you say is to not?
Shut up and eat your fucking cereal.
Eat your fucking grilled cheese plague.
Mmm.
So fucking crunchy, just like a hamburger should be.
Hey, wait, crunchy?
You have a crunchy grilled cheese?
Yeah.
What I wouldn't do-
I don't like it charred.
I want a world where plague is possessing
Louis C.K.'s children.
Yeah?
That would be fun.
Possessing them like he owns them?
Possessing them like a ghost or-
Yeah, do I like-
Like a ghost or like he owns them?
No, no, like possessing like a ghost.
Okay.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Inside their bodies.
That's correct.
One of those is okay and one of those isn't.
Yeah, I'll possess Louis C.K.'s children.
Yeah.
Don't say Louis.
I don't know what I'm going to do with them.
I'll-
You said Louis?
You said Louis.
Ah, no.
Yeah, Louis C.K.
No, it's Louis.
Come on.
You can always tell when someone doesn't know.
Yeah.
What's the long form of Louis?
Louis.
Louis or Louis.
There's gotta be more.
Louis C.K.
No, but even back in the day, it's like King Louis.
Like-
Yeah, I know.
This gotta suck.
Hey, Bruce Leroy.
That's a dragon.
He's the last dragon.
Oh, yeah.
He's got the power of the globe.
Great.
All right.
So you got any more news?
I just learned recently that Montana, the state of Montana, is just like-
A dragon?
No.
It's just like-
Yes.
People from that area trying to say Montang.
Yeah.
But fucking it up real bad.
I'm gonna say like that couldn't save the state even if it was a dragon.
Okay.
Question.
Okay, so T-Rex's are feathered, right?
T-Rex's are gentle lovers, T-Rex's coo and make bitch noises, right?
Yeah.
They slow fuck.
Would you like-
Would you like one of the following two things to happen, all right?
Would you rather they go back to how they were?
Okay.
Or they gain the ability to breathe fire?
Wait, they stay bitches but they can breathe fire?
Yes, that's right.
Do they get and do they stay in their current form of bitch or do they get-
They stay in their current form of bitch.
We don't get like three or four more articles making them use your bitch?
No, and they just gain the ability to make fire with their face.
All right, NTR- NTR-Rex, right?
Cacasaurus.
Cacasaurus Flamus.
It's a fucking little poo-babby bitch.
Yeah.
Gentle lover makes coo's feathers, breathes fire.
No lives.
Breathes fire.
Or classical T-Rex.
See, if you gave that fire-
That's tougher than I thought of that a little while ago and it percolated until I can't answer
this question.
Well, the scientists would just say, oh, they used the fire to like heat up the genitals that
they never used or whatever, like they would ruin that as well.
I'm gonna go with the classic.
Okay.
I just like big jaws chompy bra-ra-ra, you know, smash.
Are there- are there-
Oh, there- I can think of only one animal that can create fire.
That's the mantis shrimp.
Um, the-
It's not exactly.
I get what you're saying now.
The bomb blast beetle can like, it spews acid out, that's like super-duper hot.
That's good.
It- it- its stomach-
That's good.
The equivalent of its stomach is- it's almost like spewing fire and how hot the acid is.
I'm okay with that.
That's cool.
Yeah, that's a thing.
That's a cool beetle.
Um, anyway.
So, uh, Star Wars Battlefront 2 is gonna be revealed on April 15th.
It's not even really used.
But, here's why this might be cool.
Maybe.
Oh, tell me.
Tell me more about-
Maybe we might get another one of those VR things.
Maybe.
Hopefully there's more to this game.
Um, Plague, you ever play any VR things?
No, Willie.
Why would I have- no.
Okay.
I live the- the reality.
I live virtual reality.
He's living the real world out there.
He doesn't need no fancy world like us.
You sure about that?
Making fences, not meeting no women, it's fantastic.
If- if you don't want summer lesson with Saiyan girls.
Who says- who's to say that I don't do that every day?
Okay, well.
I am.
I'm saying that.
I'm saying you're not.
Just looking up dresses.
I mean, it's- it's an opposite.
Plague, you fucking dressing up as Saiyans and then putting
frilly dresses on top of the Saiyan dress.
No, you're fucking it all up.
Plague is the weak human.
Yeah.
Who's forced to breed with the Saiyan woman.
Oh, no, but he does- no, he doesn't.
Or aggressively.
No, he doesn't.
Yeah, mirror.
And then he takes it all off.
And then he's him.
And then he puts it all on in the mirror again.
It takes a while.
Okay.
Yeah.
What are you even talking about?
Sick burns.
You crazy white honky.
Hey, don't you call me a honky?
You're a honky.
Oh, this is gonna be great.
I am a honky.
Yeah.
You're from a- the honky-tonk land.
White on white crimes.
That's right.
Here we go.
I'm from way up north.
For a fucking-
That makes you more of a honky.
To me, you're a fucking Yankee.
Call me a fucking Yankee.
I'll call you a fucking Yankee.
You're a fucking Yankee.
You're more of a Yankee than I am.
You're people betrayed America.
How people didn't betray America?
Yes, they are.
That's how you got up there.
Get him.
Whatever the American government-
We got him here.
We're gonna get him first.
The fucking British people fled up to Canada.
So they could breed and proliferate and make-
Jerry.
No, but the French were already here, Blake.
Somebody- we need enemies.
Oh, yeah.
We're Scolomania.
You're whatever the other-
The French were already here.
Let's go.
Race war, baby.
Then fully up to America, they were already here.
Caucasians.
Caucasians versus Caucasians.
We're gonna need-
If we're gonna have a Caucasian-based race war-
Anglos versus Saxons.
Oh, shit!
Oh, that scared the fucking shit out of me.
That was weird.
But oh, Jesus Christ, Billy.
If we're gonna have a Caucasian-based race war,
we're all gonna need to decide on hats and uniforms,
because this is gonna get messy.
It's gonna get bad.
All right.
Who gets Hugo Boston designed their uniform?
I'll let the Yankees get that one.
That is a good question.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, he admits it.
He admits being a Yankee.
You heard that shit.
I mean-
That was the trick.
When it comes down to it-
Oh, you're sure clever.
If you're going south, you just got the gray.
Yeah.
And if you've got-
You're going north, you've got the-
You know, the other thing.
Blue.
Yeah.
Really?
So, really?
No.
No, you've got this.
You've got their North Civil War uniforms.
Really?
Are you serious?
What the fucking-
It's blue.
Okay. Well, it's not the gray.
So-
Are you fucking-
Are you furorant now?
It's indigo.
We have a truce, man.
We have a truce on.
I will start this shit right now.
Fuck back up.
You can't use that.
That's our thing.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, all right.
Let's take some letters, man.
Hey, you want to tell us about cool dragons?
Send it to-
Where's your Patreon, Plague?
My Patreon?
I don't know.
Plague's got a Patreon.
You can go to-
Yeah, patreon slash Plague of Grypes.
And you can tell Plague about all the cool dragons that you like.
I want a bunch of people to commission him to draw dragons.
Dan Borubro, org slash Plague of Grypes.
Where's my commission, Plague?
Where is it?
Yeah, where?
Every time they draw my thing, I don't know.
I'm trying to do another thing right now.
Leave me alone.
Send all your emails.
I'm a poor white honky from Kentucky.
Send all your emails to eHentai.com slash Plague of Grypes.
But if you want to tell us about cool dragons,
that's superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.
That's superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.
Thank you, Eli.
You're very kind.
Thanks, grilled cheese.
All right.
So here, are you going to have-
Are you going to have like-
I know iTunes doesn't like it,
but are you going to have like the fucking title,
be like honky versus honky, the war continues or some shit?
Not necessarily.
Hi.
But there's quite a few good ones this time around,
so we're going to have to have a think about it.
Oh, Plague.
So-
If we can clip out the 30 minutes of talking about dragons.
No, no, we're going to-
No, you're going to stay after the emails,
and we're going to talk more about dragons.
I don't believe-
I had the give up on open-face baked potato
with chicken and bacon and ranch.
I had the give up on that for you.
Why did you have to give up on that?
On its potato.
Why did you have to give up on that?
Someone's got to be here.
Someone's got to talk about dragons fucking cars.
Yeah.
Someone's got to help out the grilled cheese of America.
Wait, are we the grilled cheese of America?
I don't know.
Is that good?
Is that bad?
Can I read an email?
Yeah, you can read an email.
No.
All right, go ahead.
Jeff says,
They're super friends best.
Have you ever played a game
that changed who you are mentally or spiritually?
I had something like that happen with FF7 at Cosmo Canyon.
I'm going to go ahead and say no, respectfully, sir.
I have not.
You don't believe in love.
I've played a lot of games
that brought up intellectual concepts
that I wasn't familiar with
and I went and did more research on them.
Sure.
But nothing that changed me spiritually.
I'm pretty dead in here.
Not to say that-
It's pretty barren.
You know, I mean, games are a medium.
They can go places, but not yet.
I don't think we-
I haven't played Senran Kagura yet,
so maybe there's hope.
Maybe there's hope.
That might change spiritually.
You said to be interpreting this as a question of,
have you ever played a game
that was just so mind-blowing
that it completely altered your character?
Like, you know, like an epic movie.
Like, if you watched The Bicycle for the first time
or whatever, something like that.
He says,
changed who you are mentally or spiritually?
And the answer is no.
Unequivoc-
Words.
Games by their very nature
should be something that
I don't know.
I'm trying to uplift this any more
than it needs to be uplifted,
but experiences in general are a human experience
to be something that develops you as a person,
no matter what it is.
So whether it's a game,
whether it's a movie,
or whatever it happens to be,
it should be something that you do find fulfillment in.
So from a very minor perspective,
you could say that, I guess.
Every single event that ever changed my character
in that manner was couched around a, like, massive argument.
I learned things by arguing.
It's the only real way I make any progress.
Those-
People have to-
Yeah, yeah.
You can actually-
Yes.
What about viewing it from that perspective?
Yes. We have to burn down the old world
to build a shiny new one.
To build a new one, right, okay.
Because people are saying, like,
Mass Effect 3 and things like that.
Is there something that was, like, so bad?
Not, like, good, but just terrible?
Oh, DMC2, like, destroyed my hope in the future.
Because that does make you reflect on yourself
and what you look for in something.
Gave me a new batch of cynicism.
But, like, the actual, like, your actual, I don't know,
whoever you think you are spiritually,
like, can you, you think that that was affected
potentially by a video game you've played?
Because I don't think so.
Like, at least to me, that seems like that's not-
It's hard to nail something like that down in the first place.
Because people change gradually over time.
If you're someone that is changing radically
from something just like that,
you're probably already sort of a radical person.
And you're going to eventually flip in the other direction.
I like to think I'm pretty rad.
Shut up, Ed.
Yeah, I think so because I kind of, like, to me,
like, I do, I will obsess over and, like,
revolve major, like, my career choices around art
as a thing.
Like, I like that a lot, but I don't think-
Wait, you're not saying-
Wait, are you not-
Are you cutting off the potential for the Guardian Code
to not change you as a person?
Look, man, I'm never saying never.
I'm blown away we got through this without you talking
about how YTV hates you canonically now.
Yes.
What else is there to say?
Fucking lie.
I'm a new virus.
Live long enough to see yourself become the villain, huh?
That's exactly it.
You know, in a way, you are megabyte now.
I really have become megabyte.
That shot was worse than I imagined it would be.
Attacking the mainframe.
That's what I stand for.
Maybe it's time to change my PID to-
To virus?
To a viral, a viral icon.
Yeah.
No, you seem to be interpreting that question.
Well, you don't react radically to things usually
as a person.
No, things that I like, things that I'm a fan of,
things that I enjoy are still in an outer layer
of not-
You keep things low key.
Yeah, it's still in the realm of this is entertainment to me,
even though I'm obsessing over it.
It's still just entertainment.
It's not actually changing me for who I am.
You struck me as someone that would protect,
not radically, but you would protect yourself in a way
against having too much of a strong reaction
to whatever it is that you're watching or playing.
I mean, it'll elicit feelings out of me.
Of course, yeah.
I will absolutely be, I'll follow along with a well-written character.
But you're not going to fold down a hole.
Internally, no.
No.
Right.
I definitely, and I think that if you got close with, I don't know,
let's say binding of Isaac wasn't as goofy as it was,
and it actually was, someone made an actual really personal,
really horrific tale about being raised in a religious,
think something that hits all my buttons, right?
I would start to feel really like, oh, about that,
and it would start getting to me.
But at the most, something like that would do
would be like, it would just make me think about,
well, no, I guess that would be the catalyst.
Maybe.
Yeah.
No.
By nature of reflecting it and making me think about something
that I already feel, it would, by nature,
answer the question and make me change.
The only thing that I can think of that
that's the only work that I can think of that did that to me
was when I read Pale Blue Dot by Sagan.
Sagan, yep.
And I was like, oh, man.
Oh, I'm a fucking tiny infinitesimal speck of fucking trash.
It's significant.
Yeah.
And it's like, oh, nothing matters.
Oh, God.
And I had like a fucking existential nihilistic crisis.
And then I played some video games.
I was always within you, though.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, I always had the fucking tendency
towards existentialism.
Yeah.
And if you read some nonfiction, I mean,
it makes sense that, I believe that that's a possible outcome
from that.
When I know it's not going to matter,
so I have to make sure to take as many people as I can with me.
Well, there.
Calm down.
But I can relate in a way by saying the Selfish Gene has
moments like that where you're going through
like Dawkins approach on a couple of things,
and you're just like, OK, yeah.
And businessman who read that book and go,
that's why I fucked all those people are fucking psychos.
Because it's not at all what it's talking about, guys.
It's not at all what it's talking about.
You read that book wrong.
I guess what I'm trying to get at, to me at least,
to answer the question, I think it's like,
something can remind you that it's setting in.
But the most it's doing is reminding you of something
you already know.
I already know.
You already knew.
We had that conversation, you and me,
about the fucking entropy of the universe,
and we both came off it like.
But that's all it does.
It's just a reminder of something you already know.
It's not introducing the concept of setting into you.
So if I remove the video game component of it,
would you answer it differently?
Like if it could be movie, book, anything.
That's why I switched it to art.
Because I realized that if I kept saying video games,
it would sound like I'm trivializing that as a medium,
which I'm not doing.
I apply the same to movies, comics, art,
anything that I enjoy that is not,
that I do for leisure.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm kind of the same way where I'll experience,
like I'm not a big reactive person.
I don't have giants like,
oh, I've got to change who I am or anything.
I don't do things like that.
I'm just kind of the same way.
Formative experiences are based on your interactions
with people and social situations and things like that.
I think that's always going to do much more damage to
your hard drive than something you've experienced.
This part keeps skipping.
Time to defrag.
Nope.
Getting the fucking...
Too lazy to defrag.
Getting the goddamn fucking sensory depravation chamber
and defrag your hard drive.
That'll do it.
So the answer to that question is we are all heartless creatures
that are completely indifferent to any personal experience
that we ever have.
I wouldn't say personal experience.
I'd say work of, I'd say like piece of art.
That's right.
I've had personal experiences that changed me,
but those were things to do with other people.
Those were things to do with,
actions are going through my life or going to school.
You know, shit like that.
They weren't works of art because art's stupid.
That's right.
And music is dumb.
The worst.
Why do we even do it?
The music is especially weird.
Why do we even start that?
Somebody called me out on that recently and they're like,
don't you like, because I was talking about,
I was walking around and I was like,
I had one of those moments where my shuffle just kicked on
part of the fucking Max Anarchy soundtrack
just at the right moment.
And someone was with you that doesn't know.
No, I was just by myself.
I was just walking on the street.
It was after a podcast.
I was like, yeah.
And I posted about it on Twitter and somebody like,
don't you hate music?
And I said, yeah, I'm the worst.
And yeah.
Well, you have to remember, Pat, you are a cartoon character.
I'm not a cartoon.
You're a cartoon.
Yeah, I am a cartoon character.
Yeah.
I hate everything and bugs and so forth.
You're very bold.
Yeah.
I'm also very bold.
And you make memes.
That's right.
That's what you do.
But we can't talk about those.
Oh man.
Does that mean it's time for Dr. Robotnik's meme bean machine?
Oh God, for a second, I thought you were going to talk about
how Dr. Robotnik was ovulating right now.
That's a meme.
Right now.
You know what he's ovulating?
Some dragon eggs.
Someone drew it.
Oh man.
That already exists for sure.
All right.
We got one coming in from...
Coming in hot.
Coming in hot from Jack.
And he says, hey, super best writers,
do you guys know about Gollywood?
It's basically Ghana's version of Hollywood.
Yes, I do.
You can watch it.
Yeah, we totally do.
Every time we've talked about Devourme Kurai,
we're talking about the Devil May Cry.
The killer.
One and two.
And if we're not for the laws of this land,
you'd be dead already.
Or I would have already slaughtered you.
Oh, dude, don't that.
Yeah.
We've watched them in Super Bunny Hop's room
at Various at Magfest.
I've been on there.
We know.
We know.
Oh, it's fucking great stuff.
But if you don't know,
I encourage you to look up things like...
Or you can just search,
I think, Worst African Movie Trailers on Google.
And you'll...
That new Spider-Man one's real strong.
Oh, wait.
I did shoot it.
I saw it.
I saw it.
Oh, it's real strong.
It's real strong.
Yeah.
And at the end with the fire.
I saw that one.
Oh, man.
That one was good.
But I was more interested in knowing about how Devil May Cry
becomes used.
Like, why even use that term?
And it's just like,
yeah, we just throw a random video.
And they're all speaking...
I'm going to assume the language is Ghana.
I'm not actually familiar with that area at all.
But they're all speaking Ghana and just like right in the middle.
Devil May Cry.
You're like, what?
Some old lady in her 80s is just like...
Devil May Cry.
And you're like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Captain Alex.
Who killed him?
The world's a big place.
Let's take one from Jeff.
He says...
You got two Jeffs this time.
Yeah, I guess it's crazy.
Have you guys ever had a game ruined by technical problems?
I was playing The Last of Us.
And my DS4 kept disconnecting from the network over and over,
which would close the game.
That sucks.
And before that, I tried to play it on PS3.
And the console would not read the brand new disc.
And so all of that plus a really sad ending made me hate it.
They could be difficult to answer because a lot of games
that are ruined by things like that are games that are already trash.
Yeah.
Well, Omicron was ruined for us by a technical...
No.
I used to play PC games with a PC that back...
I'm talking like 99, 2000, right?
That with a PC that just couldn't do it, right?
You know, you get it and it's like, yeah, I'm doing it.
So like Battlefield 2 is a good example of like,
I could technically boot the game,
but it was running at the lowest of low at like actually 12 frames a second.
And I played more than I should have.
And my memories of Battlefield 2 are like fucked up as a result.
That was a horrible way to do that.
I feel like I've answered variants of this.
Yes, you have.
Probably for the fourth time now.
Golden Sun got to the last dungeon,
say battery ran out after beating the boss...
Sorry, second to last dungeon.
Was saving, battery died, lost the save, lost the will to continue.
I talked about super cloud built,
had packs, how that was just a crash and just like I got re-put into a thing
past tutorials, not knowing mechanics and a hard advanced level.
And it was just not a great experience.
And that was a bad experience for me.
And of course, the ultimate being Mugen,
which I don't even know if that counts.
I don't know if it counts.
But alongside Mugen was my FF7 save.
And my brother just wiped our computer and I lost all my projects.
So I got one that is a classic that I'm sure many of our listeners can empathize with
because it happened to them.
But luckily for me, it did not ruin it.
Right? I just, for whatever reason, it didn't blow it out.
I just restarted the whole game and played through the whole game again
and didn't make that mistake.
But in Final Fantasy Tactics, when you go to Rio Vein's Castle,
there are four fights in a row.
After the first fight, you cannot leave.
You cannot go back to the world map.
You cannot do anything.
And if you did not make more than one save file, you can get stuck in there.
And what happens is they throw you down with a one-on-one boss fight
of your Ramza versus Velius, who is a proper boss.
And you can easily fuck yourself into a place in which you cannot beat him.
So that's not even a technical issue?
That's design or?
Yeah.
And that's exactly what happened to me in Odin Sphere.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that is exactly what happened to you.
I remember you got to the fucking Armageddon.
Armageddon.
And your characters weren't in a place that you could actually complete the game.
We weren't ready for Ragnarok, that was the end of that.
But I started the game over and replayed it and didn't make that mistake again and loved it.
But yeah, that's a really classic one that people got fucked over by hard.
And you're right, it's not technical, but it was really common.
There are a lot of people out there that didn't finish FFT
because Velius kicked their asshole in and sucks.
Blake?
I played through FFT.
I beat it, but I can't really remember anything from it.
Wow.
Wow, that's a...
I do remember that it's a very good game, though.
It is one of those things for me.
If that's the case, then feel free to go back at any time.
It holds up really well.
I kind of had that, but that's kind of a good thing to have, though.
If you forget everything from games, but you just remember,
oh, I really love that, then you can go back and have basically a first experience all over again.
If you just have a shitty memory, like me.
Hurray.
I clearly have too good of a memory to do that,
but too bad of a memory to get things correct.
You have a mid-level shit memory.
What you got to do is next time we start recording,
just immediately say, that's wrong, Pat.
And then get it out.
You beat everybody because you get...
I don't know if you know this, but you know I made that into an emote on my Twitch, right?
Oh, yeah.
There's a text emote that says that's wrong.
That's hilarious.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, well, nicely done.
It's your life now.
There you go.
There you go, guys.
Got to capitalize.
Here, hold on a minute.
Let me, let me hold on.
Let me make the face.
Yeah.
Here, go use that.
Stick it on the bottom of the face.
It plays well for this audio podcast.
Yeah, man, you're really...
What?
Not a day goes by.
What?
Before you, without you, like, getting mad at that face.
I love that face.
It's hilarious.
Oh, okay.
Everybody loves it.
Everybody loves it.
It's funny.
It's original.
Have you actually seen a dick photo shopped into it?
Because I haven't.
Okay, well.
Let's go to the Reddit right now.
Give it a second.
There we go.
All right, I see why.
There it is, already.
Oh, wow, wow.
Good work, Pat.
Joseph says, Pat, I'm playing FF11 instead of 14.
You fucking psycho!
How is that not free to play already?
That's what amazing...
He's crazy.
I'm sorry, what was the question?
That's it.
That's it?
Yep.
No question.
That's it.
You're crazy.
This, I'm playing 11 and I'm dumb.
Please make fun of me.
The crafting system in that game
requires to you to figure out what time of day it is,
what direction your character is pointing,
and what the element of your fucking craft is.
It's fucking absurd.
That game is crap.
You're crazy.
Jordan says, dear international spook burglars,
if you were in a video game,
what would you be your preferred method of recovering health?
Sincerely, Jordan.
I say disaster day of crisis.
I want to eat a giant ass burger and a giant ass shake
and just...
That's good.
So you want the turkey-based stuff.
Eating on, biting into random animals is also kind of fun.
But yeah, I'm going to go disaster day of crisis.
Wait, is this your favorite method of healing,
or is it what you actually would want to do?
I guess it's a little bit of both.
Because I would want to just heal over time or something.
That's the easiest way to go about it.
Yeah, let's say you don't have that.
Let's say you have...
If you were in a video game,
what food item would be your preferred method of recovering health?
Oh, it's this food item?
Yeah, I guess it does limit it to that.
Oh, okay.
So what were you going to say?
Because that's a non-specific...
Okay, so...
Because I could guess...
This is where the part where I can edit the question,
make it better by saying not food.
So if it was going to be food,
it would be a canned caffeinated beverage of some kind.
If it's not going to be food,
I would actually like it to be the...
Just like slap myself in the face,
like punch myself a couple times,
and just get back up.
Just get back up.
I thought about that, but...
That one's really good.
I like characters to do that.
But I like that too,
and I was going to say that if you could invent one,
I would have said,
just hit yourself and go,
fuck it, go!
But I'm saying pick one that is already out there.
Did you guys place some game
where the healing method was leaning up against a wall?
That's in the getaway,
but there are other games that are like that.
It's really strange,
but I always enjoy healing methods that are sort of like...
Yeah, the getaway.
It was the getaway.
That's what we played, yes.
Where you can do it indefinitely,
but it's an action you perform,
and it just takes a little bit of time.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
I don't know, if we're going to pick healing actions
that already exist,
fucking wall meat, and big food.
Big food is up there.
Coopy sandwich.
What about you cannot heal
unless you steal health from something?
I like that's all right.
That's fine too.
Yeah, vampirism.
Yeah, that's always so hard.
I was looking for more dark-racing people.
Like grab them by the face
and just pull their health out of them.
Yeah, that's good.
If it was food,
then I'll just pick my favorite food
and be like a chicken and dressing or something.
Does a big plate of chicken and dressing.
Perfectly heated up already.
Yeah, you could even have one of those convert meter
into life situations if needed.
This is fun.
As long as it's regenerating.
Zandatsu.
Zandatsu.
Zandatsu.
Zandatsu.
Zandatsu.
That's good.
That's good.
Season take.
Another one that's kind of fun is
if it's like a combat system,
then just specific moves will cause your health
to regenerate by tiny ticks.
So it's sort of like a bloodborne sort of thing
where you're encouraged to just go in on things.
And that's what you use to outlast people.
Those are fun.
That's a fun mechanic, I agree.
Okay, let's go with Edward.
He says they're those super ultra mega hyper alpha warriors.
Thank you.
Recently I finished Alpha, sorry,
Ace Attorney, Spirit of Justice, got super hyped
at the sudden design change of the final culprit,
caught me so off guard that I had to pause the game
and take a hot minute.
What character transformation gets you hyped
just by design and look alone?
They can also be applied to the boss characters
if you must, Woolly.
I'm going to go because he's talking about Ace Attorney,
Matt On Guard is a really fantastic one.
I think anything Sentai automatically has the leg up.
We were talking about Skull of Mania earlier.
Yeah, I mean, I'd throw out Garo, but that's awesome.
But Karras has the sickest transformation of all time.
Pouring Doctor Man into.
Holy shit, Karras, absolutely 100%,
but if I guess we had to go a bit more,
because he doesn't really do it in a game,
but that's just if you watch Karras and you should go watch Karras.
Go watch Karras.
I just like Nero's DT because it's not even a DT.
It's really good.
I like the DMC3 DTs as well.
Those are fun.
But I don't necessarily like the Kaneko Demon designs as much.
I like them.
They're cool, but they look a little bit too,
I guess, soft or stylish.
I don't know.
They're a little buggy.
They're weird.
Which is what Sparta is.
So I get why they look like that.
But I just like Nero's DT where he pops up
and you get the Neloangelo behind him and stuff.
That's dope.
Plague, do you have any preferred transformations?
Preferred transformations.
Or overall design changes from one version to another.
Nothing really comes to mind.
Obviously his favorite is Gohan from Salsaga to Great Samhain.
Oh, yeah.
That's my fucking favorite piece of shit.
Out of like Dragon Ball, I actually like the Kaioken more than anything else,
even though it's not a transformation technically.
Transformations or things like that.
I don't know.
I can't think of anything specifically, no.
I hate to be disappointing, but no.
I can't really think of anything else.
Fair enough.
I like the Turtles from Turtles to the Turtles.
I like the Dragon install.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, Dragon install is really good.
Strong.
That kind of reminds me.
I really like the...
You know what's stronger?
What's that?
Negro install.
What did you just say?
That's a cool dragon.
That's a dragon.
That's a dragon.
I said Negro install.
He said Negro install.
Okay.
Who was that again?
That's just an FGC guy.
Okay.
And his name is Negro install, and it says it on his shirt.
Yeah, it was the guy.
It's the guy.
Okay, because I was like, which guy had that gimmick?
And the answer is Negro install.
And it was all black.
Love it.
This is great.
Love it.
Is there a honky install?
Yeah.
Now there is.
Yeah.
Good.
See the magic?
Bad, bad, this bad.
That's bad to do.
It's bad for everyone.
Wow.
It's always been bad for everyone.
What would it even be?
It would be a Super Saiyan, wouldn't it?
Goku, the Japanese man transforms into a glorious Aryan.
It would be somewhere between that and Steve Rogers.
Yeah.
And one last one from Frederick, and his is pretty straightforward.
To the simple point.
I can tell from here, from the side, that's a short email.
Extended magazine or quick reload?
Go.
Quick reload.
Quick reload, yeah.
Vulcan Raven.
I never hit the bottom of a mag, ever.
Yeah, that's the problem with extended mags, is that you're always thinking about it coming up.
Whereas with a quick reload, you're basically just firing continuously.
If I kill an enemy, that thing's getting reloaded.
100% of the time.
I can't, I cannot help it.
The worst of games, whenever, it actually drops all the rounds with it.
Yeah, that's, I like that though, it punishes you.
Give me, give me, give me no reload and let me just hold the button and then encumber my,
my movement ability.
Okay, yeah.
I'll take that.
That's good.
Ear pulling.
The ear pull.
You said quick reload, Blake?
I did.
He did say that.
Active quick reload with the mini game and everything.
The mini, actually I do like those.
Those are kind of fun to me.
I do like those.
I enjoy seeing them applied to things.
Sound effects.
Especially like those things that are unorthodox.
Like I've always imagined, what if, like a lot of problems I have tanking,
like Dark Souls has this problem a lot.
Don't really have a mechanic behind them, so there's no way to balance it.
So it's just like, here's a shit ton of health or a shit ton of armor.
So we're going to have to balance it in some other way by ruining your day.
You know, you do no damage or you're too slow to avoid big hits.
So you are forced to heal a constantly or something.
But it'd be nice if there was like a thing where you actually resist the hits.
And there was sort of an active resistant, not reload,
but like resist thing where you have to time it just right.
And it sort of functions in the same way that a dodged us,
except you just don't move.
The problem is that in real life, if you fuck up your active reload mini game,
you don't slower reload, you drop the goddamn cross.
You drop, you drop it on the ground and you die.
You die because you dropped the clip.
So yeah, cool one, Jimmy.
You really showed us flipping the mag around like an idiot.
Um, what's coming up?
What's coming out?
I have like what's what's new in your neck of the woods.
Shit, nothing.
It's time for you to chill, brother.
Chill.
Well, I'm working, I was working on the next let's gripe,
but it was taking so goddamn long because
the problem with working with animations is that
if you can get past the primary stage,
then you can just fly through the rest of it
because everything's already planned out.
But with the let's gripe, I'm just doing it raw with no primary at all.
So it just takes fucking forever.
You know, you should do, right?
You should do a let's gripe about how long that's gripes take to make.
No, because then that would take longer
and I would have to make a let's gripe about that.
So instead I'm doing just a normal ass animation,
which is going to be pretty short.
I think it has only a thousand frames each,
but I'm being very elaborate with it.
It's entirely frame-to-frame.
It's probably the, I think the first time I've ever done that.
Well, there's like one little bit of tweenie at the very first, I guess.
I'm excited.
And it actually, it doesn't look Disney,
but it looks pretty, pretty all right.
How porny is it?
Not at all.
Oh, well fuck that, fuck that.
Yeah, at the very end, I'm going to like throw in this
like a grito lady or something to stand there waving.
Hi, I'm here too.
That's good, that's good.
Do you get it?
That's a good one.
But that's what I'm going to be doing, just working on that.
I'll probably play some Star Trek Online in the meantime too.
Just for you, buddy.
Because I'm doing some prep work for the upcoming videos that I might make.
Hey, you want to do another drawing board?
Yeah, if we can find a thing to do it with.
Cool, there's always more things.
I need to ask Matt whenever he gets back the same thing that I asked you, Pat.
What's that?
Oh, that, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's, when, when you want to do that?
I don't think that Woolly would really.
No, yeah.
He would not have anything to add there.
Nope, to what?
Nothing.
No, I'm fine.
I was just asking him if he wanted to do a commentary video like I did with Matt,
except instead of it being back on the barbarian,
it would instead be about one of the Star Trek films,
like first contact or something like that.
Was that like, is that commentary over like the whole flick or what?
Yep.
Oh man, I'd be very.
This would be a, what do they call them, Riftrex?
Yeah, one of those.
Yep.
I would gladly do that.
Oh, we probably just ended up talking about Janeway the whole time.
Oh, the whole time.
Did you like the, the Void, the fucking Elite Force episode?
Yeah, you guys were kind of combining facts on that one.
Obviously.
I like, there's like, at one point there, you told a story about Janeway.
It's like, that's four different episodes.
Yeah, you know what, dude?
I haven't seen Voyager in like fucking ten years.
That's why I was like, you know what?
I'm not even going to say anything.
Let's throw another question in there from Q the Dude.
Hey Q the Dude, look up.
Says back the fuck up, son.
Yeah.
New email coming in at you.
Damn.
Q the Dude.
This is actually brand new.
Dear Blooper Skull Kid and Pat.
Yeah.
Because of your most recent rants about morals and the Star Trek universe.
Okay.
Thought I would ask you your opinion on the Trill.
Yeah.
The Trill.
Yeah.
Which version of them?
Bunby.
There, there, there, there are, there are a race of weird slugs.
No.
Uh, that, that, that.
True and real?
That, uh, that feature prominently in uh, Deep Space.
DS9.
In DS9, spoiler alert for DS9 by the way.
It's like 20 years old.
Yeah.
Some of the Trill can be joined to symbiots which allow them to have knowledge and experiences of any other Trill.
Their symbiote was joined with and there's a rigorous selection process for being granted the honor of joining.
And it turns out it's a whole big lie.
Yep.
And almost until you find that it's a lie and almost half the Trill can be joined with no issue.
But they feel the symbiots, uh,
and joining process need to be respected so they lie about it.
What are your thoughts on this?
It's a really complex scenario because uh, the before that episode happens that you find out, you get to see, um, somebody who's mentally unstable
become joined.
Um, and you also find out that some people have been joined by mistake.
In one case there's a, a, a, a serial killer that gets joined and then everybody who gets joined with that slog after that
has the memories and thoughts and shit of like these jackasses in their head all the time.
And it sucks.
And I understand.
You have to get ghost murders.
Yeah, it's the best.
It's super weird.
Uh, so I understand the, the idea of, of a rigorous selection process because like this symbiote can become like tainted by shit bags.
Like over time.
Yeah.
Whatever Dex actually unlocks the ghost murder, he's like standing next to her in the mirror.
He's like, you know, it would be really cool if you murdered someone and she almost kills a bunch of people.
Yeah.
And she's like, oh, that would be so, no, no, I mustn't.
That would be impure of me to, to bask in the sweet release of murder.
And it also creates like very odd problems.
Like there's an issue with a, a, a trill joining thing in which there are characters that when it was in a different body, they were in a relationship.
But then it's a new body that they hang out.
And they're like, hey, I have all the memories of us banging all the time.
I can remember the sensation.
Those feelings are still in here.
But I'm like phantom dick is pulsing.
But I was just given them.
Like they're not my, it's weird.
It's yeah.
Um, yeah.
Fun times, fun times.
I can't possibly see a good scenario resulting from just, hey everybody, just join up with every slug you can find.
Yeah, let's go into your local Walmart and just cut open your stomach with a box cutter.
That'd be the primary problem with that.
Isn't even like the bad host.
If there aren't enough of the slugs to go around.
Yeah, there, there are probably more than they're letting on, but my big problem with that has always been
why don't you ask the slug what he thinks about it?
The slugs don't seem to have a lot of free will on their own.
Yeah, they kind of just ride around in their pools doing whatever.
My, actually my bigger question.
How do they find out they could do that?
Well, that's, that's always the question.
Like how'd you find out you could eat maple syrup?
There's this disgusting shit coming off a tree.
I mean, how does they find out you could eat a blowfish?
Yeah.
By a blowfish.
Is there a guy in Georgia right now that's just like, he has a hole in his stomach that he made
and he's just crazy and he's just like shoving right coons in there?
Who made it past the durian's tough outer layer of horrific stench?
Or again, in order to eat it?
Millimeters of blowfish.
Poison to get to the part where you can eat it.
I bet this fish is edible eventually.
But you can still numb the tongue.
Yeah.
Because it's that close to the poison.
And what's the slug like halfway in is like, come on, man, don't, oh.
Oh, I have a body.
This is okay.
I can move.
Yeah.
I prefer the hip hop trill.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What's true and real?
Paul Wall and Bumby.
Is that a Star Trek character?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
You don't remember that?
It's from Enterprise, unfortunately.
Trills when you hustle, man.
That's what they do.
I think it's one of the Cindy Races.
I don't know much about hustling.
Put that on a t-shirt.
No kidding.
Fuck.
I would like, I would love a t-shirt that says,
I don't know much about hustle-ing.
But it has to be hustle-ing.
It has to be hustle?
Hustling.
Hustling.
Yes.
Hustling.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's that's how it has to be.
I would, I would wear that with pride.
Yeah.
To teach me how to hustle.
Oh yeah.
I'm sure we have some friends out there that are willing to
educate you.
Yeah.
Poor white boy.
Volume four.
My dad used to hustle pool.
He knows more about hustling than I do.
You want to learn about hustling?
Are you sure?
Wait, are we talking about a different thing?
Poor white boy.
Oh, we're talking about a different thing.
Did I fall into some fucking ethnic language trap again?
Got to teach you the handshake.
Firm grip and you shake it up and down twice.
And that's, that's a handshake.
No?
Yep.
Bad art.
The money shot.
I'm not a honky.
You're a honky.
Everyone in this podcast is a honky.
Hey now.
Trials are all honkies.
Isn't that weird?
Yes, that is actually really weird.
That's very weird.
They're all honkies.
They're black.
There's little with little spots on them.
I don't think there's any honky in my blood anywhere.
Anywhere?
No.
No.
You might be surprised.
What about your soul?
One drop rule.
You did get that achievement.
But there are centipedes.
Yeah.
Canadian.
Yeah.
Canadian.
What's coming up on our channel?
Go watch Get Out.
I had Get Out spoiled for me before I ever went see it.
I know, I know.
I'm just saying that's why the fucking jump to get it isn't there.
Wait, you saw Get Out?
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
Oh, I was going to ask how much he got out of it.
No, no, no.
That's not even a joke.
I'm actually wondering how much you actually got out of it.
Because it doesn't seem like something, like how many white people walking in the
movies like, huh, I don't know.
That's funny.
Okay.
Well, this week on the channel, we're going to make a huge mistake.
Yeah.
And the biggest mistake, I was on the way over here and I was thinking, what was the
exact moment, the exact, exact moment that we made that mistake?
I remembered.
We were on the fucking highway.
We were in the car.
Going, if we're done.
And we were looking for an office rooftop to do the WrestleMania bit.
Driving an Uber.
And we were riding in an Uber.
Yep.
You were not driving it.
And we were looking at our phones and the new Persona 5 trailer had just come out.
And we had just been, we were just looking at each other like,
Hey, fuck it.
Are you ready to reach out?
Yeah.
To face out.
To hold out to the truth.
By the way, Volta's intro is done.
It's fucking astounding.
Of course it is.
By the way, he lied.
He did not use the old one.
He made a completely new one.
Yeah.
Because he did it in the timeframe that he shouldn't have done it in.
Yep.
He was supposed to.
Yep.
Whatever.
He's, he's, it's great.
It's, it's fucking dope.
It's what I was trying to show you earlier.
We're going to seize the moment.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's going to start on Wednesday at 3pm and it's going to keep going at 3pm until we die.
This sounds terrible.
Yeah.
Yeah, it does.
Let's repeat that.
Just in case anybody.
Didn't catch it.
We're going to be LPing Persona 5.
Starting Wednesday, April 5th, 3pm.
And an episode of it is going to go up every single day.
Well, because we talked about this quite a bit and it's like we, it's the only way.
It's the only way.
Because otherwise what?
We're going to do it for a fucking year.
We're going to do it for a year.
That's crazy.
And we're going to, are you going to play head privately?
We're going to have to aggressively edit out anything repetitive.
Well, I'm going to go one after our sessions.
I'm going to go home and cry.
Welcome to the worst mistake we've ever made.
Oh yeah.
I've made big mistakes, but not publicly.
Don't you have to play it independently?
No.
I mean, it's, I mean, I know Persona games are not like hugely open-ended, you know, like crazy,
but it seems like the LP would go a lot faster if you had, then again, you're not
getting the first reactions, but it just depends on how long the game is, I guess.
It's quite long.
I'm not holding myself.
No, well, he's free to do as he will.
To the, what you're going to call it, progression of the LP.
I am though.
I'm going to be doing whatever the fuck I want at home.
Yep.
But that being said, like, as long as you grind out all that power so you don't hit any
hard ass roadblocks, it should be fine.
Because double blind, it's not a great idea.
No, no.
And I, but the thing is, I don't, but I'm, I'm, I'm wording this carefully.
I, I'm not going to be.
What you said to me the other days, don't rely on me.
Don't rely on me.
I'm going to be playing you right to enjoy it.
I won't.
The way I want to.
I won't rely on you.
Good.
I'm not previewing.
Here's the deal, man.
I'm just playing in terms of, in terms of like warnings for like, uh-oh, this part
will fuck up the LP.
Like I'm pretty sure we'll have lots of friends that are, will be more than willing
to help and give us like the non-spoilery pro tips.
Yeah.
I think that, no, I think those, the non-spoilery pro tips are helpful.
Yes.
Just be sure they use fire magic.
Jeff got it all like fucking Saturday.
Yeah.
Our friends are all getting early copies.
We, we, I said.
And the first thing they're doing is sending us photos of those copies.
Gloting, gloating, look, look at my early copy look.
That friend of ours from TO fucking sending us a photo.
Hey bitches, I got it.
And like on what, Friday night?
Yeah.
And she's Snapchatting it at me too, just to remind me how good it is.
Fuck you bitch.
I didn't see the menuing.
It's pretty slick.
I like, like I, during this podcast, I got up a snap that was just woolly persona as everything.
It's everything.
Well, see, this is great because it was, it came out in Japan.
It did.
And I had friends who speak Japanese and played it, right?
Yep.
And they all came back going, dude, dude, dude, dude.
And now it came out and people got a hold of it early.
And what is the, the over the unanimous reaction?
Dude, dude, dude, dude.
So I'm, I'm high.
I, I have a really weird view of this game.
I've been, I, I beat Persona 4 in 2009.
I think I beat it the summer after it came out.
And that was a moment where I'm like, Hey, it's been a year since this came out.
And these persona games are coming out every two years.
So I can't wait for a persona game next year.
And so I waited.
And every year Atlas would always have like, ooh, secret announcement.
And every single fucking year they'd be like, nah.
And I remember Catherine was the one that hurt the most.
Catherine was like, are you fucking for real?
And awesome.
That was the war gods.
Catherine was.
Hey, we're doing this, uh, these engine tests so we can get ready for this generation.
And so you go, oh, I guess they're already, oh fuck.
And then, uh, fucking, uh, you know, winter of 2014.
It'll, it'll, oh, oh.
Cue the, cue the brain meme of like every release date in order.
And, you know, I thought about it.
It's like me waiting for this game predates like best friends.
Yeah.
And like, I'm excited.
I'm very excited.
And I'm excited too.
As, as, uh, as Natica would say, I'm excited.
Looks like a bumper crop.
But, uh, I, I, I'm invested in making sure that we can both enjoy this as it's been a long time holding out.
If anybody, um, if anybody wants, if you want to get ready for this LP, I suggest you go home
and, uh, catch up on, uh, your Mike judge comedies.
I guess, I guess.
How disconnected is this game from exceedingly so?
Like completely.
It's, it's as disconnected as Jojo parts.
Here's what you should do, Plague.
Is I'm not saying that you're going to jump into that world and enjoy it.
No, no, no.
I'm not here.
Let me tell you something real fast.
Yeah.
I've kind of discovered for myself that the best way to access persona is to watch someone LP it,
but flip out the, the, the battles and just watch that.
Well, then our LP will do quite well for you because the only battles that are going in
are mandatory dungeon runs.
Good progression.
I was, I was watching a spy's playthrough of three, I think it was, until he decided to make it a
stream based thing, which I got nothing out of because he just, he pulls a spy and does what he
does and just sits around answering people's questions, not playing the game.
I'm not just whacking him on the head for doing that.
It's fucking viewer engagement.
Yeah.
He's doing a great job.
Fuck the viewers.
Hey, man.
Hey, hey, hey.
How many questions you're answering for in a godless hole?
At the end of my stream?
Yeah.
Very few.
Okay.
I do them as they come in.
Okay.
And, and the first, the first couple were bad before like, I did a, I did a fucking final
fantasy patch stream, which is like the nerdiest shit in the world, but it was like 48 minutes.
I'm just answering questions.
I'm just answering questions and that, and that's when I put in and it's like, I felt a
little bad about it, but that's when I put in like a fucking minimum
donation for that.
Because I went and I went and like looked at Max's stream is like, okay, that's how you
do it.
Is you, you can't have it be like 50 cents.
Because the questions don't stop.
Because there's not a point in the stream where everyone's like, all right, you answered
all of our questions.
Pat, thanks.
See you later.
What do you think about this?
Like I could do that all day.
That's what we do at cons.
That's like everybody wants to ask like the Q and A is like, well, what do you feel,
how do you feel about this?
How do you, that's what emails are, right?
But imagine it never stops.
Never stops.
Yeah, that's my email.
Sometimes you're out in LA and the parking lot for five hours and you get to everybody.
The thing I was going to say, Plague, is that as an artist, at the very least, you want to
watch all footage of the HUD and the UI.
You just want to see every menu in the game.
It's very nice.
It's porn and I'd say it's more than very nice.
I don't know.
I'm not one given to extreme exaggerations.
I know.
And hyperbole is not a very nice.
Let me put emphasis.
It is very nice.
Is there any games you think doing a better job?
No, not that I think of.
That's all, that's all.
It's, I would, without hyperboleizing, I'd say that it's that sets a new high bar for
interface design in terms of usability versus pleasant.
No, I've got, I'm not even like losing a shit about it anymore.
I'm very calmly stating that it's the best menu.
And it shows that like there are no parts of your work that can't be improved to be
become a valuable part of it.
Not every game can do that though.
No.
That's sort of interface.
But it makes sense.
It's an RPG.
And what are you going to do?
You're going to spend a lot of time in menus.
So let's make those menus slick.
Another kind of menu interface that I really enjoy is extreme minimum,
minimal interface where it's just like nothing like white screen, like two options.
Oh, hey folks, don't watch the GameSpot Persona 5 review.
Oh yeah, that's all spoilers.
It's got spoilers for the end of the game in it.
Don't do it.
Can you fucking believe that?
Don't do it.
Jesus Christ.
Okay, well, I hope that goes well.
So that's going to be like everything now and forever.
So between that and Souls, you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together.
A lot of time together.
You see what John and Paul did for their fucking quick look of P5?
No.
They fucking put up their quick look and the fucking quick look is a photo of the main
character like with the smirk on and it's labeled 001.
And then when you mouse over it goes not a chance.
Nicely done.
It's real good.
That's funny.
Yeah, so that's going to be going on.
And beyond that, of course, Batman continues.
And so basically every, the secondary slots are going to rotate as they would.
Yeah.
And it's in Dark Souls, Yakuza and Batman.
And Batman will finish off first for sure.
Of course.
And then it will become Dark Souls and Yakuza.
And those are all long games.
So this is going to continue for multiple months.
For sure.
I forget if it was P5 weekdays or was it?
It's everything.
It's seven, five or seven.
I looked at it and the easiest way to do it is in not weekdays it's actually easier to do it every day.
Okay.
And you're going to clip out the battles?
Well, yeah.
No, because the battles are, no, we're not going to clip out all the battles played.
Okay, you're just powering through.
We're going to clip out the grind.
Okay, good.
The battles, because dungeons are designed now.
So going through a progressive dungeon and fighting bosses, that's going to repeat.
Repetitive tasks and things that are things you've already seen are going to be edited out.
I was about to say there's no way that you can make that level of editing on a daily schedule.
No, no, it's easy because all I do is I do all the stuff that has to be edited out at home.
Right.
Cloud save.
Yeah.
Cloud save.
And then big chunks of video.
Yeah.
Like, well, we'll be, well, what the plan is, is basically,
story, story, story, management, management, management, read, read Twilight with your bros,
watch movies with your bros, blah, blah, blah.
Hey, Paco, home.
Paco's home.
Pat grinds, grinds, grinds.
As everybody knows, I'm pretty good at getting huge in games.
It's going to be a glorious mistake.
I can't wait.
Right.
Come back into the office.
Hey, hang out with your bros, hang out with your bros, social links, social links,
go to the movies, buy, buy items at the store, blah, blah, blah.
Argu over waifus.
Argu over waifus.
Do the dungeon.
Hey, Paco home.
Grind grind grind grind.
Et cetera.
Et cetera.
Right.
But like, you know, the first, the first batch episodes, let's say two weeks, probably,
like, Demon fusion is going to be in there.
The battles, learning about the battle systems,
eventually Demon fusion will not be there.
Right, eventually that's going to completely go away once it's known.
But while it's fresh.
But while it's completely fresh day one,
now we're not going to fucking cut that stuff out.
So yes, Plague, I think you will enjoy it.
I hope everybody else enjoys it.
I kind of mentioned the primary viewer problem is going to be people falling behind.
No, the primary view problem is going to be very simple.
Well, primary viewer problem for you is going to be people bitching about random things.
No, they're not going to be bitching about random things.
I know exactly what they're going to be bitching about.
They're going to be bitching about how their waifu sucks.
And our waifus are bad.
No, and I'm willing to believe that most of that will be within good nature, just.
I will fight your waifu.
I think there's going to definitely be some anger over really trivial things and whatnot.
Well, don't worry.
Dark Souls is still going on.
So you can all do you all share your energy over there.
No, no, everyone excited.
Definitely be hyper selves because you're going to get really angry by our decisions.
But I think at the end, as long as we can avoid.
Oh, I patch Wolf put up why he should watch you go hack a show.
Yeah, OK, cool.
He's good.
He's good.
As long as we can avoid, you know, what we need to.
And as long as we can avoid a Jojo episode.
Level of wrongness.
Should we just should we just go in and be like, oh man, I can't believe.
No, we should.
Jojo rip this game off.
No, we shouldn't.
OK, but we we I have a few tips from playing Danganronpa to share with you about how we
should handle things in this game.
It's an RPG, so you know.
Keep it on English.
We're going to keep it on English.
Let the tech scroll by.
So we're going to auto advance is a is a long standing feature auto advance.
Yeah, don't worry about jumping forward.
Don't worry about it in paragraphs and shit.
I am looking for waifus.
Oh, the waifus here are strong.
They're good waifus.
Even the waifus I hate are good.
I like Kimmy.
Yeah, I like her.
I mean, Yukiko, you make a decision based on the way she looks.
And then you see your personality.
And you're like, whoa, I can't pull my dick out fast.
Yeah.
Here's some meat.
Because then your dick will be stuck in the in forever.
Like, oh my god.
Let's put the the Groucho Marks mask.
Oh, no, I have to inherit my famous family business.
I'm going to run away.
Oh, wait, I decided to not run away.
Snort laughs.
Everything you did was for nothing.
Snort snort laughs bitch.
She's got a great keep away game in the fighting game though.
Oh, yeah, she does.
She does.
Well, it makes sense because she's got a great keep away game for everything.
Dangly part.
You did.
You never you never figure that out.
That's totally the deal.
That's why she's keep away.
Keep away.
Should your fighting style reflect your personality like that?
Absolutely.
So literally.
It should reflect the the the creator's intended attractiveness for you.
Yeah, it's wait.
So stay away.
Stay away from this.
Meanwhile, she's all that much down.
If I'm playing as you, Pat, and I go into the menu and look at your moveset,
are all the inputs wrong?
Why would you make an input like this?
And I have a really small hit box.
Yep.
Those are the worst.
I know.
I'd be the Yoda character.
The one that like take this character out of the game.
I hate them.
The one that's like on a select box that's not available on the screen.
And you're not really a secret character.
You're just like the shitty license character box over there.
Yeah.
You know, featuring Pat from the best friends.
Oh, God, I wish they didn't do that deal.
Yeah.
This character ruins Tekken 3.
I'm a dark silhouette.
And when you unlock me, I'm still a dark silhouette.
This news, the new Pat character is broken, but no one wants to play him.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, we got to get out of here.
We got to get out of here.
I got to wake up early tomorrow because pre-order downloads
don't work on your non-home console.
So I got to come in at like fucking 9 a.m. and download P5.
Not much else to pimp or talk about or whatever as far as the watch goes.
But Matt will be back next week.
We'll talk about wrestling stuff.
Hey, listen, I'll be really honest.
I'm pretty nervous about this persona.
I'm extremely nervous.
Persona 5 LP.
So if you like, I'm usually not there.
Like usually that you see people who's like,
Hey, we should appreciate Pat.
Hey, we should appreciate Matt.
Well, you know those things.
I could actually use some of that right now because I'm freaked out.
Are you asking for appreciation?
I'm asking for appreciation.
You fuck?
Yeah.
That's really, really, really fucking.
Tell me how cool I am right now.
Okay.
Well, look, I'm very handsome and cool and tall.
Wait, you want lies?
Yes, I want lies.
He wants lies.
No, actually, if you watch any footage of me and Woolly sitting down
the podcast, you'll notice like me and Woolly don't appear to actually
be that much different in height when we're sitting down.
I'm literally below your head right now.
No, but it's that.
No, I just want to point out my torso is a normal humans.
Hey, you holding any?
My feet and legs are disastrous.
Let's go get a giant chocolate buddy for scale.
Okay.
So you saw that photo, right?
I saw that.
So I took that photo.
We took that photo.
And the Fubonacci sequence that followed.
Paige took that photo of me and like the first thing that I saw was,
Oh my God, I looked deformed.
Like I looked deformed in that fucking photo.
And the second thing that I saw is like,
did you, honey, did you take a photo of me in which I'm perfectly cropped
and no part of my body is outside the frame of the image?
Yeah, great.
Now it's mathematically provable.
The work, there are guys going through building codes to find out
how high light switches are in shit.
I'm five two guys.
I'm five two.
I'm very short.
I'm very extremely, very small and it's mostly in the legs.
It's mostly in the legs.
These are a disaster.
They're tiny baby legs.
They kick when I'm on a chair.
We went to a nice restaurant, me and the girlfriend,
and she wanted to sit at the bar and I said,
no, let's go to a different restaurant.
She said, why?
And I went, and I went, shut up.
And she's like, what?
And I'm like, look over there.
And she's like, what?
And she's like, are you trying to get me to not see you hop on to the bar stool?
And then I fucked it up.
I missed.
I was, I didn't jump high enough.
Pat, stop telling people these stories.
Dude.
You're doing it to yourself.
I'm very small.
I am a tiny person.
Climb up on the baby bar seat.
My dead mom are very short.
I think my dad's like five, five.
My mom's four, eleven.
That's not short.
Wait, four, eleven's short.
Five, five is not like five, eleven, five, ten.
I guess that's that's quite tall.
That's very tall.
Very tall.
So that's very tall.
I'm still, you know, you're my favorite.
The fuck am I?
You know what?
You know what the favorite part about my vertical challenge is?
Sure.
People think you are a giant.
People do think I'm a giant.
They think you are a giant human.
And then they see photos of you next to Brennan.
Yeah.
And then they think Brennan is like nine feet tall.
Yeah.
No, that's, that's the problem.
Because I'm six and a bit,
but Brennan is like a fucking wrestler.
Yeah.
There's no.
So people, there are people,
I saw in comments people who still thought
I was either normal sized or tall.
The bunny for scale.
The bunny for scale.
Yeah.
Most of that bunny's gone now.
Why?
Don't shut up.
Because I can't.
Stop it.
Because I can't.
You don't have to tell us that.
I bought that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I ate that in the living room like a man.
Like a man.
Like a man.
Like a big man who eats his chocolate bunny till he dies.
All right.
So that's a trader's Canadian.
4chan.org slash D slash plague of gripes.
What's D for?
YD.
I know what D is.
Five stuff.
That's where you can find them.
I don't know what D is.
No, you need to go to the good stuff.
Go to trash.
There you go.
Plague of gripes.
Very fitting.
Where can people find you?
Oh, God.
I hate doing this.
Fine.
Shut up.
Fine.
He's at plague of gripes on Twitter.
Find him on piccardo.
Find him on piccardo.
I'm always plague of gripes.
I'm not plague of gripes within a one in there.
For God knows what it is.
He's going to be on piccardo watching Star Trek episodes
and drawing bullshits.
And drawing female liners.
Well, this notepad is suspiciously empty.
There's one entry.
You didn't do your job.
But it's a really good one.
It's a good one.
It's filling it up.
It's filling it up with blood as I...
Female liners is a really good one.
Centaurs have legs for days.
All right.
Okay, I got to ask you a question, though.
Where's the fun bit?
Okay, so that's...
Is it at the bottom of the torso?
Or is it the big problem?
No, it's at the back.
The problem is that if it's where it should be,
it's way at the back.
It's gross and weird.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's...
Yeah?
Yeah, you think one of Plague's weird sexy animations
is gross and weird, huh?
It's got to be at the back.
It's got to be at the back.
It's got to be at the back.
All right, that's what you want.
That's what I need.
It's not what we want.
It's what has to be.
That's what you want.
No, no.
It's what Hylia intended.
The goddess.
Goddess was making models.
Well, she's not the one they created.
It's like, I've got to put it at the back here.
This is where it goes.
Centaurs doing it is weird,
because it looks like two L blocks on a Tetris.
That's weird.
They figured it out.
They internet figured it out.
It's a good thing that the races in Hylia produce...
Like Hylia and Azora just produce Azora.
It goes by the female.
Otherwise, if like a centaur got together with a horse,
you know, half horse, half centaur...
Wait, what the fuck would a half horse, half centaur be?
No.
It would just be a horse with like six legs.
Because what...
Don't forget that there's also the...
I forgot the race where it's like, it's not a horse body.
It's just like...
It's two legs at the bottom.
Like the...
Like a satyr?
Like Hercules' buddy.
Satyr.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a goat though.
So it's...
It's...
You know, you can cheat.
They play a lot of flutes and shit.
Or you can commit to the bit and do it like a horse.
The important thing is that the fun bit's in the back.
In the back.
Yeah.
And that's our show, folks.
Come on back.
You ever see a zebra have an orgasm?
All right.
Ned, cut it.
Cut his feet.
Cut his feet.
Cut his fucking feet.
Cut his fucking feet.
They ejaculate a lot because it's supposed to flood out.
You need to cut it.
Damn it.
Where is it?
I gotta cut his feet.
Cut his shit.
Holy shit.
Oh, dude, you kill him?
You do, man.
Okay, there we go.
He's dead.
He's dead.
All right, hey.
Unfortunately, we're still alive.
Hey, we're just gonna have to smash cut to the fucking music now.
Can you do that?
I think I can.
Oh, boy.