Castle Super Beast - SBFC 196 Not The Spawncast (feat. Mr. Clemps)
Episode Date: May 9, 2017We totally didn't talk about Redeemer, Violator, Angela, Malebogia and Clown. Nier Automata spoilercast with Mr. Clemps at 2:31. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/superbestfriendsp...lay
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The End
The End
Are we live? Can people hear us?
This is a live one.
That's fantastic. Hey Matt, why are you so excited for Alien Covenant?
I can't wait for Alien Covenant.
Why are you... Man, I also...
What's going on?
I also really can't wait for Alien Covenant. Holy shit, I'm so excited.
Everyone's like, hey, guess what? It's terrible.
It's premedious again?
It's premedious again.
Can't wait for...
Literally the same fucking movie.
Can't wait for daytime super bright aliens that are going to attack and jump on the
front of the ship because we saw that before.
Did you know they go to the fucking engineer planet and that fucking thing?
I wonder if they're all society is there?
So once the sex scene starts in the shower, I wonder what's going to happen.
This dick's going to get killed.
So the main thing is that if you watch the trailers, hey, it's about a bunch of people
and it's about a bunch of colonists coming down and the alien kills them.
And there's kind of like a Ripley girl, maybe?
We don't know.
And then like the movies, the movies and we were like, that's not the movie at all.
No, that's like two seconds of the movie.
Wait, wait, not what you want.
Way worse.
It's the explanation.
No, wait, not what you want.
It's the fucking exploration of the myth and lore behind the premedious saga.
I did...
It's a Michael Fassbender movie.
David is in that trailer.
No, him and another anyway.
But yeah, he's in that trailer, but it's not about anybody but him.
He's the main guy.
Yeah, man.
I'm going on fucking space missions and I'm at more than shit.
The trailers did not imply that at all.
I kind of want that.
I kind of want a Michael Fassbender movie.
He's the only part of Prometheus that I enjoyed.
Yeah, but everything about that character is about finding out about the stuff of Prometheus that sucks.
Yeah.
Okay, well, then that sucks.
Maybe you might like it.
Maybe you might like it.
Who knows?
But I...
All I can tell you right now is when you tell me that it's not what we saw on those trailers
and because that's just another predictable, you're showing all the good parts trailer.
But no, that's actually the first four minutes, man.
If it's actually Michael Fassbender like David Adventures, I like David.
But that's what Prometheus was to me.
It was just mostly him.
And I saw that and I didn't care for it much.
I'd rather at this juncture in my life where I am mentally and physically,
I want to see a good alien movie, not a robot movie.
I went mad on this one.
I have been...
Alien predates me, right?
I'm not old enough to fucking...
Yeah, just, yeah.
And like, I saw Aliens as like a kid and I was like, awesome.
I got the action figures and I grew up and I appreciated one and two and not really three.
And then boy, that fourth one.
That was good.
Oh boy.
And those AVP movies were fucking terrible.
And then the Prometheus and it's like, I've been ticked around long enough.
I deserve a fucking sequel to Aliens.
Yeah.
I'm sad that it seems getting a David movie and a good Aliens movie or Alien movie is might be a mutually exclusive thing.
Yeah, maybe.
But I just...
When I look it back at like Prometheus, I'm like that...
Like David as the equivalent of any...
Well, any of the other synthetic humans...
Ash Bishop.
Ash Bishop and so on in the previous movies is like, I always like those characters the most.
Yeah.
Those are always to me the most interesting things.
And like, that one non-human amongst the humans, like interacting...
I like Bishop the best.
It's fucking great.
I love Aspenner and I liked him as David in the first one.
But like, you can't build an entire movie around an emotionalist robot.
Oh, okay.
That's what I would argue.
You can't build this style of movie around this.
Like you need that...
It's almost like in a horror film, you might want a character that fears death.
Yeah.
And so I guess that's the question is like, is it a...
Like if the trailers are showing you that bit, then you get the impression that this is a survival
or there's a monster going to kill you, thriller or bit thing.
And bright daylight.
But I would argue that you can make that kind of movie, but it would have to not be about
surviving an alien attack.
It would have to be about the world.
Did you watch the weird prologue that they put out for the alien covenant?
No, no, no.
I watched the TED talk they did for Prometheus.
So the weird prologue is like Numi Rapace or whatever.
Numi Rapace.
Yeah.
And she fixes David and they go on a space adventure and it's just like...
And then we got to the engineer planet and there's a fucking shot of all these weird aliens
in their weird alien society and like, I couldn't want this less for this series.
Everything about this is the worst thing.
The biggest problem for me in Prometheus was the desperate need to over-explain things
that didn't need explaining at all and under-explaining things that desperately needed to be explained.
Well, don't forget that.
And this is like taking that part of that movie like in direct continuation and going,
here's more of the thing you didn't care about.
Yeah.
Don't forget that it was a reveal that it's even attached to the aliens universe anyway.
Well, because originally it wasn't going to be anything close to aliens.
Exactly.
And then they went back and forth Prometheus like it had nothing to do with the alien.
Then it was going to have links to aliens and then they're like, fuck, just put something
that looks like an alien at the end.
Right.
Just put a fucking mural of a fucking alien.
So now we think about it as like this extended bad sequel when it was like actually like
originally its own thing and then the reveal came out, you know?
And I feel like it's almost as if imagine if you were watching Rogue One not knowing
what it was and then you get to a certain point and then you see like what the plans
are.
Oh, it's the desktop.
Right.
So and I think that like if you want to write an alien side story like not even trilogy
but just an alien side story movie, there's so much into the world of like this,
the Wayland-Yutani earth and the space.
There's a lot.
There's so much lore there that's interesting that is like explored in books and comics
and such outside.
And not every...
Man, that's not canon anymore.
Of course not.
But what I'm trying to get at is that like every expanded story is not always about surviving
an alien attacking you.
So...
No, no, certainly, certainly.
But like when I've already been given one of those attempts and it failed.
It's hard to be like, give it another go guys.
Well, certainly.
And when the name of the movie is alien covenant, it's not even like Prometheus.
Prometheus is called Prometheus because of obviously that the implication of Prometheus,
the Greek figure or whatever.
Still fire.
But then the ship was called Prometheus.
So guess what the ship is called?
The name is Covenant.
Oh, it's called Covenant.
Wow, it's the Covenant ship.
But you know what?
I think I talked about this like months ago, but like the best sequel ever is the comic
book that came out that Darkus put out called Fire and Stone.
You talked about it, yeah.
Which was Aliens versus Predators versus Marines versus Engineers and Predators C Engineers.
And they go, oh God, that's so hot.
I want to fucking fight that thing.
Look how awesome that is.
Those giant perfect humanoids.
Yes.
And that was somehow written with all those factions.
It was like, it jumped between lines, it jumped between Predator comic, Alien comic and its
own Prometheus comic.
And I read that.
I was like, this is so good.
This is everyone's motivations make sense.
And I'm like, why can't they make this?
I feel like, and I might be wrong, but I feel as if the Versus movies are a different line
of series.
It's a difference.
It's almost like the Marvel versus series compared to the Street Fighter main line.
Yeah.
And it's not that it's not canon.
It's just that once you introduce other things clashing and it becomes an Alien versus Predator
versus Batman versus Spawn versus Judge Dredd, then I feel like that's almost like a different
line of stuff.
And you kind of go into those going, I just want to see the big dumb clash.
And that's not the same need as like a Ridley Scott fucking Alien.
I really, really fortunate for me this as well, but the time in which it became very
clear that Alien and Predator just happened to co those two franchises coexist perfectly
because they're either from the same planet or the Predators found them.
And that's why they got the fucking teeth to bite off the face likeers, you know, that
doesn't and doesn't do anything while they would die instead of being a thing.
I see like three forms of media where they go out, fuck that.
They can just print their printers all day.
Yeah, I know it's dumb.
But I like the idea that like they could they the teeth can like get and stop the face
hugger from laying in the egg.
And it's not even a face hugger attack in a face hugger almost.
And it's not even that like, yeah, the Predator gets away.
It's just that it stops the egg from being laid, which is equally as important.
Yeah, like whatever happens, the Predators have this fucking thing that they use.
Maybe it got up like it bugs me that like in Alien and Aliens, like there's this fucking
alien ship with this weird dude in it that got blown open by this fucking thing, right?
Yeah.
Who that alien was, the engineer, who gives a shit?
It doesn't matter.
And that becoming like the most important thing in that series, like it irks me.
I don't like it.
So that movie, again, to remember, like it's hard to disassociate it with the rest of the
franchise now that we know it's linked.
Remember that the big, long beginning of Prometheus was like, where are we?
What is this?
I don't care.
It's linked.
It's like, yeah, whether or not it started that way on the writing, you know, on the
page or whatever it's like, I when I saw the the well, first of all, in Alien originally
and you see the space jockey and you go, holy fuck, what is that?
Yeah, you I always wanted to know what the deal with that is not the very exactly.
So the promise of learning more about this big space jockey is fucking awesome as an
alien fan.
Can we just get a sequel to Resurrection where the earth got blown up?
No, I wouldn't even mind that because, dude, it's the equivalent of seeing like, I don't
know.
I'm trying to think of the earth gets fucking blown up.
Take your favorite video.
Take a really cool video game series and think of like a statue of a really good, awesome
legendary character and then the possibility of finding out more about that character.
You know, that's what the space jockey was going into.
Well, not going in.
But when we saw him in the character, he was a fucking blown open corpse.
But he was the thing sitting on top of a hatchery.
I don't know, man, like, like, I get what you're saying.
Like, there's a reason why it was exciting.
I get what you're saying and I understand it even.
But to me, no, don't not even get mad, but just don't.
It's it's the equivalent of somebody going like, do you remember that lamp in that scene?
Remember that scene?
OK, you know, you know, it's not a lamp.
Come on, you know, in Guardians of the Galaxy one, where they go to the collector.
Yeah. OK, you see that guy that was in the background
in one of the last two.
That's actually the most important guy in the world, except for what it's not a background
thing. It's the foreground shot.
It's this imposing giant figure.
They're these tiny little people.
And then they look up at it with awe and then they go down beneath it.
And then I always thought it's not a background element because it's a super
huge thing in that. But it was unexplained in aliens.
Like, they like they're they are they go to other planets and meet other fucking
space cultures. They talk about fucking them in the in the locker room.
Seeing aliens like the fact that there are extra terrestrial is completely
not important. It is common.
Yeah. I just have the Marines talk about.
They go to a planet and fucking a bunch of weird aliens.
Starship Troopers happens right before.
Yeah, pretty much.
But I always felt that was like this is.
But this is the one sitting on top of the xenomorphs.
You know, I always figured that was just that one.
It's got got by these.
I don't know. I don't know.
I think you're the wrong on this one hard because it's like there's like there's
a reason why I had that excitement.
And I know that other people did as well.
But then it just was a let down to find out that, oh, the story you're telling
about this thing we cared about sucks because I like the space jockey stuff.
And I would want to see that.
Like I'm like, do you remember when you first we first talked about it?
Or I think you showed me or we we had a moment where I remember when we're
talking about a special moment.
And it was like we saw that shot of the space jockey and we freaked the fuck out.
I remember specifically with you.
You we saw the shot and went, oh, shit, they're going back.
We're going to know we're going to find out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like while I'm just in all that stuff,
I could be like, you know what?
I'll read about that in a book or something.
But in the movies, like I just I just want to be entertained by whatever it is.
It's got to be well made.
Yeah. And like if that's just alien carnage or like lore, either or.
Yeah. And that's why I feel like almost as an aside, it's like
if we can get just a absolutely like a decent, self-contained,
survive the alien movie that is not rehashing, but still good.
And like, you know, like it's it's a lot to ask.
But if we can get one of those, that almost sate the need for that type of film.
And like this is this film is kind of what I thought you then you can kind of
explore other things. But then again, like different people are into the
franchise for, I think, different reasons. All right.
I think some people are into the expanded lore.
And I think some people are into just the nah, man, fucking.
I want to get scared by this monster.
Freddie in space, you know, you didn't really Jason in space.
I don't think you really looked at it.
But if you want it, I would love Freddie in space.
I thought you're going to say Jason in space.
I'm like, well, I mean, we can arrange that that if you ever want to watch
like one of those movie compilations on YouTube of alien isolation,
because the bit the trunks that we played of alien isolation,
like that's the alien sequel that a lot of people like.
Well, I started and I did.
Yeah. But I played about a solid two, three hours of it.
OK, I didn't know.
And I unfortunately just, you know, didn't get around to finishing.
But it's difficult. Yeah, I played a good bit of it.
And like, I liked the start.
I like the fact that they're taking their time with the pace.
And, you know, I it does, it does make you do have to be patient.
But that game does have like one fairly unique pacing problem.
And that's because the alien is is actually a unique entity.
Like it's not a trigger to it's a fucking roving thing.
And checkpoints are relatively far apart.
Like your success rate on navigating an area can be often left up to pure chance.
Hmm, because crazy.
High, though, the like the the mechanic of like getting to the checkpoint
and doing the whole thing is like really cool.
How how many steps there are?
I love how that game sold almost three million copies and Sega's like
it was a huge failure for us.
We thought it was going to sell like 18 million copies.
Well, how are you?
Sega, Capcom, best friends forever.
But I would never I would never sit here and say like, oh, man,
like it took too long to see it or it took too long.
It took too long because if we were if that game didn't exist
and we were sitting here going, what would be the perfect aliens game?
Well, we'd be describing all one where they took their time and they paced it.
And we'd be asking for all these things.
I remember. And now we got it.
So that that game fucking each report is really explicitly
like the what you would ask for how you would want a certain franchise
to be treated in a way that you'll never get because it's like big.
You know how big movies just aren't made this certain way?
You don't get slow paced or big games aren't made that way.
And we got it.
It's definitely not perfect, but it's pretty good.
At the same time, there's something to be said for the fact
that the xenomorph we now know everything about it.
Therefore, it can never be scary again.
Pretty much.
So what you actually need to do is kind of tell a new story
or just have the morph eat a new animal
and just to be whatever it is.
But but but I want the bull ones explode when you hit them fire
because those are cool toys we had.
Yeah, it is. Excuse me, have.
I have they're over there.
They're right there.
Aliens. No, that's not going to bring fear out.
That's going to be like, look at that cool bull alien, you know,
or the scorpion or the whatever.
I don't want to talk to you guys about this.
But like a year ago, like this, the special effects companies,
like we're going to make a new concept alien, make a giant
maquette just for crazy collectors like two thousand bucks.
Yeah, it's called the alien king.
I like that.
It's this giant king alien.
They're like, we wanted to do complimentary design to the alien queen.
And it actually looks awesome.
And they're like, so how are we going to imprint how big this guy is in scale?
Let's just make, I don't know, a dozen other worker drone aliens around him.
And they're all like super tiny, super tiny.
And you look at this thing and it's like too rich for my blood.
But like even so, I'm like, this design is awesome.
And they go in this little video where they show it and they're just like,
be really cool if maybe a movie studio out our design, maybe.
So what synergy is there?
Did they just make it for fun or is it for fun?
It's because I'm like, what is the lore implication there?
Is that being treated like a bumblebee?
I guess because I think just having queens is just fine.
It's a high high mentality.
Yeah.
But like a king kind of throws it off.
But I'm like, you need to.
Justify the weird existence of that with some sort of like that's a one off
accident. It's a mutation.
Like I don't know what, but I'd love to see the story behind why a king would exist.
I would maybe on the matriarchist side, maybe on the giant box that you buy of it.
Maybe, you know, on the back, Kenner toys have all their lore.
But you know, it probably just says like the king alien with tail whipping action.
No, this one's got three mouths.
It's a big statue.
It's like four because the queen has three.
Do you have three?
Just one, two, it's just little baby arms that come out of the nipples.
Yeah, nipple arms like this.
Yeah, like that.
And even a little little baby head thing, too.
Yeah, it's somewhere in there.
Yeah, I got breaking news about personas.
I have important news that is about this episode.
Well, what about this episode at the end of this podcast?
Oh, we will be.
Well, not we.
Pat will be talking to Clems.
I did. I did a spoiler podcast about near
Automata.
Yes, it's so that will be at the end.
And Jade Cocoon.
How long is it?
It's an hour and 20 ish minutes.
Awesome.
I'm sticking that in at the end of this podcast.
So you can safely listen to the begin when I do the sound test and the end where I do the sound test.
Sounds good.
So we're tacking that on for you guys.
And and also, hey, because all the ad, all the ad, all the all the pushing of the guy is in the spoiler parts.
Yeah.
But yeah, Mr. Clems is a guy I know from YouTube.
He's a nice man from from Jolly Old England.
You should go check him out on YouTube.
He does a lot of good videos.
So I hope you guys enjoy that.
And at the future date when we'll let you know, but Clems, we'd like to have him on as an actual guest, too, for the popper.
Oh, he was he was like, because I think it's kind of rude to just have someone on for a spoiler.
But the problem is, is like, what are we going to do?
You're going to set up the fucking Skype call and then you're going to fucking leave for two hours in the other room.
Like that's bullshit.
Yeah.
So while I work my way through your near LP and then eventually near Automata,
I'm super afraid you're going to get halfway through that LP and you're going to be like, Pat, this LP sucks.
I'll let you know.
But yeah, in the meantime, since it's it's all the rage and there's lots of good things to talk about.
Did you guys have a good talk?
Yes, we did.
Absolutely sick.
I think we did.
Awesome.
I was a little nervous at the beginning because I've never hosted a podcast, honestly, which is really stupid.
But they had that feel weird.
Felt like I was going to fuck it up.
Controlling the flow.
Actually, we don't know if I didn't fuck it up yet.
Well, he hasn't actually spliced together the fucking audio yet.
So I think he sent me audio in like stereo so you can mix that down.
But aside from that.
OK, well, check this out.
I'll show you some of the the podcast directing magic right here.
OK, Pat, how was your week?
OK, so I have I have breaking news from German spy.
Actually, OK, German spy just got off the phone with Atlas USA PR talk to me because he was like, I need to know.
And so he messaged me just now, say, OK, I have this directly from the mouth of Atlas USA PR because he wanted to know.
Hey, what's up the deal with that persona five embargo?
Can anybody do it?
What's up?
And they admit the second letter that they put out was also super unclear, but they did want to rescind all the weird like stipulations and requirements or whatever.
However, the 1119 dates that you can't stream or make videos past is permanent forever.
Wow. And they will be enforcing it.
They are going to be going after people.
Anybody who goes past that date will be subject to to the same the possibility of the same threats of the same threats as the first.
So this brain is absolutely no news.
And in fact, it's worse.
Well, no.
Well, what it is, is it's clarification for people who thought that 1119 was going to temporarily so it's worse.
The weird part, Matt, was that when they said they moved the date forward from seven, seven to 19 and it was like, oh, they're doing a sliding scale.
Right. That makes sense.
No. And the second thing is that the part of the second letter that was the unclearest and the thing that I got mad at was they said, we're really sorry.
We didn't mean to threaten anybody.
But at no point in that letter do they go, we took those threats back.
Those threats are no longer on the table.
And it turns out those threats are still super on forever, forever.
I think that the exact phrasing that Spies uses that unless something cataclysmic changes in the near in the next couple of years, that is the enforceable day forever.
They're going the hard route and they're going to be trying to stop this till the end of time.
So I want to thank German spy for doing some sleuthing and spying.
Very appreciate it, but less in the traditional German style.
Yes. That sucks.
I hope people on which fucking stop before they get fucked.
I guess people are going to have to going to have to switch to dark twitch and start watching the illegal LPs.
They're just in TV.
No, wait, no, wait, isn't that strange?
Yeah, you stream is not just in as for what I did with my week.
Let's see.
I played some hot snow big deal.
I played games here or there.
I watched that Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
I watched that Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which I'll share that you watch that Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
I did see the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Which since that's an all thing, I'm going to leave that till the end.
The other thing that I did was that I played shouldn't have talked about it before.
We got all our best stuff out of it.
I also played a few hours of prey, some of that with Matt.
Yeah, hmm.
Prey has the strongest opening half hour I've seen in a game in a long time.
I'd say like 15 minutes.
Yeah, the first the first like the first little chunk before the proper game starts is exceedingly strong.
I mean, Revengeance is a strong opening.
Yeah, well, like this this has well, for this genre, for this genre, it's it's a very strong.
Like you remember it your Bioshock had that open like kind of strong, but not really.
This opens up much more strong than that.
Does it set up the whole turning into objects thing?
Yes, all right.
Yes, it does, which I thought was very odd.
It's the oddest, actually.
And they set it up perfectly.
That game System Shock 3.
That game is really, really, really just System Shock 3.
It's more System Shock 3 than Bioshock 3.
Thematically or gameplay wise?
Everything.
All of it.
It is a space station overcome by a bizarre alien force that weird science is going on.
And you're scrounging for materials and learning how to like it is System Shock System Shock.
It's it's it's like it.
But like, even though, you know, I always haven't seen the main antagonist, but like
it's fucking lame compared to like show Dan, though, like as a whatever the villain is, nothing show Dan.
Oh, well, maybe it's show done.
Maybe it's show enough.
Maybe it's show enough.
You're show done.
That's terrible.
Hey, hey, hey, whoa, hey.
But but it is like, yeah, very, very similar.
It's it's overt.
It's really over.
And the art style is like, it's so weird that this comes out from arcane slash Bethesda.
The arts.
The art style is like, it's almost like they pigeonhole themselves into a setting where
you can't have anything that that stands out.
Well, do you know what they they call the architectural style?
No, I call it Neo Deco.
It's Art Deco in the future.
It just looked like future to me.
Well, you have to look a little closer.
I guess it's got that kind of arch.
Neo Deco.
Yeah.
And so it literally looks like Bioshock in space.
OK.
It's really it's it's the most spiritual sequel I've seen in a long time.
And I haven't spent that much time with it, but I really like it so far.
That glue gun lets you climb on shit.
That's weird.
Does it have anything to do with the other prey?
It has zero.
It couldn't have less like because prey was like a Turok thing.
Yeah, which is why I'm like, this is are we rebooting that now?
Is that what we're doing?
The only thing is that there's aliens in both.
And in your space.
But like I've never if you guys beat prey.
Is anyone beat me?
No, I didn't beat it, but I played it.
OK, I barely play as Tommy.
And he has his spirit arrow and he fights aliens that are not the strong.
Yeah, I are not the strong from Quake.
No, no, all our aliens.
I remember the fact that it was the game that had the cool portal technology.
Yeah, sure.
And then portal was the real and the cool portal was stuck in a little box.
It was in prey was baked in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the new prey is pretty good, I think.
Hopefully it stays good because even the weapons feel like like shooting
the shotgun in that game feels like shooting the Bioshock shotgun.
It's really overt.
I have to assume there's like.
Is that your favorite shotgun?
No, no, it's not.
It's a bad shotgun.
OK, I was going to say.
But it feels very similar.
You even hold it in the same proportion of the screen.
OK, what was up with the fucking crosshair on the pistol?
The pistol is like fucking the crosshair.
It's like a big fat crosshair, like a like an ass.
It's so weird.
And the pistols just jamming the silencer.
And I've never seen anything like that.
And I'm looking at it and I'm trying to why I'm like, is the gun too big?
No, it actually seems fine.
Is the crosshair too big?
Yes, sort of.
Yeah, it's very strange.
Lude aiming.
Yeah, but it's pretty good.
So you got to pass the intro.
Yes, Matt and I.
Well, the video went up yesterday, didn't it?
No, it did not.
Shit. That's this week.
That's this week.
That's the this coming week.
Yes. OK, Matt and I did a video for it.
Yeah, you'll be seeing it on Sunday.
And that game, I fucking love the the basic enemy in that game is a mimic.
And that's your default enemy.
And if you see you turn around and there's a coffee out
like a coffee cup out of place or a fucking not even out of place.
Right.
But you'll walk into a room and you'll see some shit fall over or and you'll be
like or that wasn't there before.
And because cool, the game's entire ammo and weapon
structure is built around you scrounging around and picking up nearly
every physics object you can to break it down into materials.
You are constantly examining these physics objects only for some of them
to just attack you.
OK, so it's like I made a joke to Matt that it's kind of like Dark Souls 4
because and it's and it's your fantasy game in that it's like fuck bonfire mimics
chair mimics and fucking every object every object that could be moved.
OK, also can be awesome.
Well, in case you didn't know, Pat's like, oh, let's go down this hallway.
Let's pick up this gun that's on the floor.
It's not a gun, the gun attack.
The gun, the real gun is actually right around the corner from that.
But that's how they kind of get you.
That would that would that get rough.
That gets shaky.
It's a good God damn gimmick, I think.
Cool. And then Guardians of the Galaxy is like a really good movie.
It is. So put a pin in that and we'll talk about it.
In at the end of the park.
We're going to have a lot of fun at the end of this podcast.
I think we should talk about it at the end of our week.
And I think we should do a time locked spoiler discussion.
Oh, yeah. So we're going to like clean.
Yeah, I have the timer on my phone right here, and I'm going to set it
to like 10 minutes or so. Yeah.
And I'm basically it's like added the exact.
I just want to yell out one thing.
Yeah, the exact one minute mark, 10 minute mark, we're going to come back.
So all right, I know what you're going to yell.
Matt, I'll probably yell it out.
How was your week?
I played Little Nightmares streamed that last week.
What the fuck is that game?
That is a more horror based inside.
All right. A lot of people say it.
Lots of good things about it.
Yeah, no, I was really, really enjoying it.
It's a short game. It's like maybe three, four hours.
I got maybe two hours into it.
I was really, really liking it.
It's it's got that sort of
well, the tense moments that you have in inside, they're kind of like
interspersed throughout it.
It's like, oh, this part's like, I don't know.
Then you're just like walking through a couple of rooms or whatever.
You do a puzzle and then there's like, oh, shit, what the fuck is this?
This is so weird.
And in Little Nightmares, rather, it's like it's like that tense
the entire way through because you're always being stalked by something.
You know, there's something there.
They have these kind of crazy characters, like kind of reminds you
of like weird Jim Henson, like think of really fucked up Jim Henson Muppets.
Got it.
Giant ones like Ernie's.
Yeah, yeah.
Or yeah, that giant guy.
And then snuffle up against.
I'm kind of there's some enemies that kind of remind me of that.
Anyway, it's basically like a stealth little action adventure game.
Now, the one actual problem with this is that having played inside,
having played in limbo, I haven't played a lot of games like this.
They're very all 2D.
It's just side scrolling.
This is a side scroll problem with this game problem.
But you have full 3D movement in your 2D plane, which has led to misjumps
because you're on the wrong plane.
I was not so much on the wrong plane.
But I just I thought I was I was lined up, but but I wasn't.
If you die, the the the the sort of checkpoint thing is very, very generous.
But I was still having fun with it once again and get used to it
because it's a little more physics-y based than than inside.
You know, like it's it's more like you actually have to have touched
the the the side of a of a shelf to actually grab on to it.
Whereas like inside, I kind of felt like it was a bit more automatic.
You're either going to do it or you're going to not.
You're either going to make that jump or you're because you were so far away.
But if you were going to, yeah, you're about to get it.
You would always clam clamber on to things.
That makes any sense.
Whereas this, I felt was a little more fidgety.
Like you have to absolutely nail a jump for for it to counter or whatever.
But and you're saying that there's no tension release.
You remain clenched and clenched the entire time, puckered the whole way through.
Clenched the entire time. There's also a weird not mechanic.
OK, your character is constantly hungry.
A nine thing in their stomach.
They have to eat, but it's not a gameplay mechanic.
There's no stamina based to it.
It's just a cutscene atmosphere thing.
Clench the entire time is exhausting.
Yeah, but it's three hours.
So yeah, OK, I don't know if I can clench for three hours.
The last time the last time the last time I was clenched, I was like that,
I think was when I can't, I can't.
Liam and I played the fall and that's a game that's really,
really you're clenched up for a whole lot of it.
You have moments of like, OK, you know what a clincher is?
You like I went through like a little event and I fell into a gigantic,
like huge, empty, not empty room, but a huge open room
that was just filled with millions of shoes.
So like the Holocaust imagery, oh, yeah, little strong.
And you're going through, you're swimming through the shoes.
And then there's something in the shoe pile that's chasing you.
Shoe puff. No, probably not.
Because shoe puffs are massive.
Yeah. So I really get your Kekles on.
I really, really enjoyed it.
I got to like the second wave of like, like you're in the kitchens now.
What's being made?
Because I was telling Wally about this, that this game used to have
a different name, it used to be called The Hunger or The Maw.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that.
And Namco Bandai picked it up, which is so random to me.
Because also this game, visually, it's like fucking gorgeous.
Like I think those are both way better names than Little Nightmares.
Well, unfortunately, The Maw is a game already.
Is that is that old?
Twisted Pixel's first game.
But I really enjoyed it.
I want to I want to try to maybe finish it since it's not that that long.
But yeah, I really liked it.
I also played a bunch of Mario Kart multiplayer
last night with a bunch of a bunch of the boys.
Fred Wood and Sheena and then Liam and Austin and stuff.
Lots of salt, lots of salt, especially for some people
that hadn't played the battle modes yet.
And they're like, why am I in a cage?
It's a salt maker, dude.
Why am I in this?
What's happening?
Everyone's trying to explain things.
Liam won a bunch.
Austin won a bunch because they revealed much later, like,
yeah, we've been playing this nonstop.
Oh, OK. That's a cheating, man.
Is there a new bullshit item that's cheating?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
A new bullshit item.
But they're they're just winning a lot.
And when you've done a match and you're kind of in the lobby
and everyone's just like everyone's me's are just kind of hanging out.
Austin will constantly say, like, after winning,
like, take it easy on me like his little me would say that or like
he would win by a huge amount of time.
And then his me will go, what a shame.
And everyone started getting fucking furious.
And we're like, let's team up on Austin.
Yeah, yeah, let's do that because he couldn't talk at the time.
He wasn't in he wasn't in chat.
So he was like, yeah, guys, I have to go off chat for a bit.
And we're like, OK, yeah, we're going to fuck up Austin.
And then he won harder the next times we all we're all like, let's team up.
All right. So what you're saying is you need to get a sock full of pennies.
Might need to give Austin a weapon.
I might need to.
And I also bought two comics that I'm going to be reading.
Hopefully next week I asked people, like, what's good for DC universe?
Rebirth, what should I read?
What's what's good?
And it was like this and this.
So I picked up All Star Batman, which is being written by Scott Snyder.
Isn't the one where he's like, I'm the goddamn Batman?
No, no, no, that's Frank Miller's All Star Batman and Robin.
Yeah, All Star is just a subline that they call that there's All Star
Superman, All Star, whoever.
So All Star Batman.
I don't know anything about the plot other than it's like
written by Scott Snyder and drawn by John Romita, Junior, who like I love.
I love all those artworks.
So I picked up that and everyone was like, pick up.
Everyone said this weirdly, pick up Deathstroke.
It's really good.
The comic book, Deathstroke, the character comic book.
OK. And I'm like, OK.
And everyone's like, yeah, it's like it's like that dear lady
in Night in the Woods, pick up Deathstroke.
It's good. You should read it.
So I got that too.
I wonder if everyone's telling me to get Red Hood as well.
And I could someone said get the new back girl.
Cassandra Cain.
Yeah, it's really good, but I couldn't find it in the store.
I was in. So I might get it digitally instead.
So I'm going to read those during the week and next podcast.
I'm on I'll see if I'll let you know if they're if they're interested or not.
But everyone was like, yeah, get All Star Batman.
You have to. I'm like, OK, I will do that.
So and yeah, I watched Gardens of the Galaxy too.
So cool. OK, I'll tell just a bit.
Yeah, Willie, Willie, hey, Willie, what's up, man?
Tell me tell me a story.
Well, I've I've been living in box world and, you know, turn into a cat.
That's kind of what's going on.
There's not much and a lot less cuter than that.
And yeah, cat, is that where you're going with the box box?
No, I don't.
But anyway, so outside of that, like all I really got a chance to do
was check out Attack on Titan season two.
Oh, boy, I was told I was explicitly told
by three people I know who have read the manga to just straight up
not even bother watching it.
Really? Yes. In terms of what? OK.
Because of like, hey, Pat, you know,
everything that you liked about Attack on Titan, there's none of that anymore.
Huh. That's weird.
Well, anyway, all I can say is.
OK, let's dance.
So my girlfriend's further in the book in the manga, I decided to wait.
OK, so I want to just continue watching the show.
I sort of reading to catch up.
So I don't know the things that are going on and she does.
But things that are happening
are seem to be happening out of order with what the way they did in the manga.
But either way, it's really, really got me interested in what's going on.
And I'm very excited.
And the problem is that excitement is still like,
like, especially with how long this season took to come out,
it was only it was a half season, 12 episodes.
I think so. Yeah, it's you are going to be
waiting like years and years to get all I can talk about is what I've watched.
And what I've watched is four episodes so far, possibly five, I forget.
Whatever the amount is out and of what's out.
There is some really, really interesting
like bits about learning more about the world.
There's some more lore, there's some more, you know, hints and clues
as to what might or might not be going on.
And that's that's that drip that you're there for.
You're there for that crack.
But it's not being done in a like
shitty survival game, dissatisfying kind of way.
The what you're getting and what you're finding out is not being
shouted from the mountaintops at you.
Some of it you have to kind of like go like, oh, wait, hold on a minute.
Is there a scene in which they're they're they're on fucking horses
and they fucking they fucking ride by like the downed attack helicopter
from the movie? No, you don't get one of those.
You do get there are some new things that are just like that is
ridiculous and what the fuck, right?
There's definitely huge what the fuck am I even looking at on the TV screen right now?
But then there's other things that are just like small interaction
between characters that you're like, whoa, man.
Now what? You know, and that's fun stuff.
I really like that a lot.
I like where they're going.
Run, Matt, run and I've never sat like I've never had a show
in a long time where like after every one of those episodes,
I'd sit there and just play theory craft for like another 20 minutes
before hitting play to watch the next one.
You're reselling me on it because my friends who read the manga
basically said that the reason why I would be disinterested
is because what is supposed to happen is that it is supposed to turn
into a political thriller for like a long time and have almost nothing
to do with Titans anymore. That's not what's happening there.
So them them deciding to throw stuff a little bit out of order
is so that you you don't get like 12 episodes of a guy's arguing in a courtroom.
OK, OK, I get it.
Because because basically that's why I was unsold on it.
I was like, well, I want to see fucking people get eaten.
Yeah, we want. OK, no, you heard you heard something
that's not representative of what's happening right now, then, because we watched it.
And like, yeah, girlfriend sat up and went, that that shouldn't be happening right now.
What the fuck? Why is that going down?
And then like it stays in this place of like, no, it is.
There is no courtroom trauma.
There is Titans and action. OK.
And well, then I guess I'll start watching.
And it's and it's like new
like new versions of those things. Yes.
You know, you're the Mr. Long Arms, all kinds of weird shit.
So that's great.
And it seems that they're trying to work along the
like the realistic restrictions that they've been given by scheduling.
Seeing I forget who it was.
It was the director or the writer, somebody who worked on that project
was complaining about how long the season was.
And I was like, there aren't enough fucking animators
to do all the anime in Japan right now.
We could only get staff for 12 episodes.
We couldn't even like money wasn't the problem.
You're right.
We just physically couldn't acquire enough people to do a full run
because there's so much anime being produced.
And you can try to work them harder, but, you know, Karoshi.
So that doesn't quite work like that.
People drop dead after a while.
Already working at their 90th percentile.
You can only work them so much harder.
So don't do it.
But yeah, for for everyone that drops,
you're not filling that replacement tweener with the fuck.
Why would you become like that kind of artist with that kind of lifestyle?
It's a horrible work hours in a place where you get no credit.
Well, no matter what your job is, the work ethic is unhealthy
in terms of what's encouraged of you.
Now, but regardless, the draw all day, don't have kids.
Did you watch the Levi side story?
No, that's about him being a criminal shit, isn't it?
It's about his past.
And I think that if you like Levi, I do like you should watch those.
I mentioned them a bit earlier in the previous episode in between seasons.
And it's a perfect taster to get you back in.
It's a really good.
I liked when that little guy does a little spinny thing.
And he's got the people like Sonic.
Yeah, well, you get you get bits of that.
You can watch that cool stuff.
Also, you get to see in what is possibly
a location cooler than like the cities on the wall.
Those are some pretty interesting spots.
You get to see what is probably the coolest location in that setting,
in that world, in my opinion, in the Levi back story.
So go watch those to get your appetite wet.
I got to say, I'm glad that I went and spoiled myself on what's in that basement.
And it like it is making me more excited to see where they're going with this
because like that thing is so nuts that I like I can't imagine them actually doing it.
I imagine them actually changing it.
Well, I'm glad I'm I love where I'm going right now, not knowing any of that shit.
What I will say is it's very satisfying,
though, that the show continues to do the thing I love where one
because, as you mentioned that one,
like we don't forget about what you, the viewer is thinking about, right?
And there is there is definitely like it's
there's a moment of Aaron just straight up going like,
yeah, by the way, I got to remember this key.
Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah.
And you're like, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Don't forget that very vital character.
But then also you have really cool shit like
the thing that I read that I love that I love that I love so much is,
you know, when like it's the opposite of the audience being treated too dumb
is when you are trying to keep up with how smart the other characters are.
They're all talking about all these fucking things.
And you're like, well, no, hold on, I got to pause it.
What would you say?
What are you talking about?
Or not even that level, not even though it's not that it's not that.
No, it's the way basically the way Attack on Titan season one ends off,
you know, is there's a big breakthrough in what they learn about types.
And in any other like poorly paced thing, you'd have moments of just like
like episodes of no one else catching on to what's happening.
No one else really being sure about what everyone saw.
Yeah. And you like you were all here.
You saw the thing happen, but then you'd be going like, no, that didn't make any.
What? But the characters, the smart characters,
Hange and Armin, yeah, are so fucking ahead on their theories of like what's going down.
OK, everyone, shut up, shut up.
Everybody, this, this is what's come on.
Right. Get on, get on the boat.
And like, like the credits roll for like episode one and like another episode starts
and they're like, yeah, so in between these episodes,
I did the full fucking study on this shit.
And here's exactly what I think is going down.
You're like, thank you.
Thank you for being smart and paying attention.
I appreciate that.
And be like and like you're moving ahead of the audience.
I love that because the worst thing that can ever happen in anything with a mystery.
And I think Phoenix Wright has it real bad in some of those earlier cases is like,
I know who the killer is, Phoenix.
I it's that guy.
I know how he did it.
I know this. I know that.
And then you're sitting there waiting for everybody to catch up to you.
It sucks. Sucks.
I hate everything that has.
And then you realize, oh, I was wrong.
There was actually that guy.
You know, that's great.
And and and it's the worst when the smart genius of your story.
That's dumb.
Is not even the ax dumb.
This genius of your story is as smart as you are.
And everyone else is dumb and slower behind that.
And that was actually like the first thing I really hated about Naruto.
Oh, yeah.
Was how dumb he was as a character and the and the camera would lag behind
with how dumb he was and like the rest and the villain and everyone else
that there's fighting is doing other shit.
And he's like, wait, what?
Who's doing what?
And everyone would stop and explain things to him three times.
And I fucking hate that.
Naruto is the every man that so he's relatable to not super geniuses like you and I.
But it also it also explains.
It also like relates to like, you know,
other anime where your your main character is just like too slow on the uptake, you know?
The only exception I'd say is for sports things.
Like if you're watching Ice Shield 21 and Senna doesn't know what the fuck a football is,
then they have to walk him through the rules and go, here's what downs are.
Here's what I think, you know, first and goal means.
And what is best, the simultaneous best and worst example of this exact thing
you're talking about is Metal Gear.
Oh, man, yeah, because like, yeah, whoever you happen to be playing
as an idiot, they're not an idiot.
They just sit and ask questions all day.
They're just totally ignorant of every aspect of the world
and profession in which they live at the moment you're not in control of them.
They become super soldiers, the most genius knowledgeable.
Like the change between Snake and MGS one and two.
Yeah, where he's like, what is buff?
Yeah, yeah, and Big Boss as a character you're watching who's
Big Boss as you're watching through his eyes or if you're watching his back.
Yeah. Well, I mean, like, remember, like what is
Muff is like in between the the old Metal Gears, Metal Gear Solid.
Snake doesn't go on a mission for like five years and just lives in Alaska.
And that's why I think the reason why I think it's the best
is because the stuff that that everyone is talking about is all like,
you know, Peter Stillman's explaining how the fuck you disarm a bomb, right?
That's not common knowledge.
Someone's talking about nuclear deterrence theory and shit like that.
That's not table side discussion for most people.
It makes sense that the character would go fucking what?
But at the same time, like every character you ever play as
asks every question about everything.
And if you really just go and cut all of like snakes, MGS one conversations,
like probably 60 or 70 percent of them are questions.
Yeah, well, it's it's hey, what's going on?
And then someone goes blah, blah, blah, blah, term.
And then Snake goes term.
Yeah. Yeah. And then perhaps a what?
No, I think the worst is an MGS four, where he the game starts with Snake
telling you how the world has changed and then proceeds to know nothing
about how the world has changed and everyone has to explain everything.
I.T. tags. I'm an old man.
Yeah, that that that's the worst version of Snake for me, because like it seems
like it needs to be the player.
The player has to be as it sucks, though.
It sucks. But that's for things like, hey,
press the circle button to jump as.
And I mean, I know I'm like, I'm not chrono, you know,
I'm watching someone here in this world that knows more about it than I do.
Yeah. Like it's OK to let them have a conversation, you know,
it's like even when he's big boss to turn into Hans Mollman.
Even when he's a big boss, like in Peace Walker, he's like,
he's the he's the world's greatest soldier ever at that point.
He's like, guns bullets.
No, the the the thing that I would I why would we need translators on the staff?
The thing that I would expect and hope for is, I guess,
like an almost like an Edward Elric level of interacting with the world
where you're like, I don't know a lot about like your specific things.
But I know a lot about my thing.
And I'm resourceful.
So you give me the piece, you give me the pieces and I'll make it work.
Yeah, you know, but that leads to a different problem.
That leads to Edward, not every single fucking human interaction
in the universe can be allegorized into an alchemy equation.
Well, that's that's that's the character.
Fuck you little fucking blonde fuck.
That's the character you little one.
Yeah. But I mean, it's the same things,
the same reasons why we like young Joseph and, you know, like things like that.
It's like, OK, you know, he's he's got his he's resourceful
with what you you introduce him to and whatnot.
But don't do this fucking picks up on it quick.
Yeah.
And then, of course, I, too, saw Guardians of the Galaxy.
All right, you want to give the countdown?
First, I want to take a quick word from our sponsors.
Oh, OK.
This week.
Who do we got?
We have the podcast is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club.
Oh, Dollar Shave Club.
I like this guy. Yeah.
And, you know, I'm still using my Dollar Shave Club, Dollar Shave Club.
You're still loving life.
Still using my Dollar Shave Club stuff.
And for those who don't know, it is a smart choice to have your razor set
sent to you because big razor doesn't want you to because you have to.
And if you go and if you do decide to go the big razor route,
you get treated like a criminal when you go to the goddamn pharmacy.
It's like buying fucking prep H or like fucking condoms.
It's actually worse because they don't hide the condoms.
It's ridiculous.
I I enjoy tax condoms.
And of course, you're not just getting monthly razors.
You're getting Dr. Carver's Shave Butter.
Sometimes I think that you should grab these ads just so you can do your
Shave Butter thing because you love it so much.
You get putting word in front of butter always makes it better.
It's so good. It is good.
And you also get you get the body wash.
You get the full thing.
So what you're talking about, of course, is Dollar Shave Club dot com.
If you head on over and you use
or specifically Dollar Shave Club dot com slash friend cast,
you get to for a limited time, new members start their first month
at the executive razor level with a tube.
Yeah, it's a tube of the Shave Butter.
So you're getting a $15 value for only five bucks with free shipping.
Five bucks is pretty cheap.
That's pretty good.
I spent like I spent five dollars on a Red Bull, and that's bad for me.
There you go. Replacement cartridges.
Shave Butter tastes better, too.
Replacement cartridges for razors is a scam.
They have this whole racket going.
Oh, it's a total scam.
Yeah, these guys hook you up.
They have it sent straight to you and you don't have to worry about it.
And you're not bleeding out the pocket or your face or your face butter.
There you go. Right.
Figured it out.
No hidden fees, no commitments, cancel any time you like.
Dollar Shave Club dot com slash friend cast.
That's Dollar Shave Club dot com slash friend cast.
Thanks, guys. Thanks, Dollar Shave. Thank you, Shave Butter.
Yeah, Dr. Carver is a genius.
We don't praise him enough.
I need a special kind of butter for my face.
God damn it. Tired of bleeding out your face every day.
Sure am. Dr.
Carver's got the medicine for you.
I absolutely hate bleeding on my face.
Despite the fact that his name is Carver,
he's figured it out also.
Maybe he was maybe he's the kind of guy who's like, you know,
the Carver's they're bad at shaving, you know, no matter how good
that the stuff they use, they'd always got them like, I need something better.
I need something that works for me.
If we enjoy bread and butter, why can't we enjoy Shave Butter?
I tried. You tried.
And you did.
We're all just use a butter knife.
You did use words.
Hey, hey, speaking of words, the spawncast, the spawncast.
Yes, dammit.
Yes, this is what I wanted.
Said it. You fucking said it.
We are now we are now switching over to being an all spawncast.
Shit.
Yes.
All right, look, look, do this on my birthday.
Redeemer. Right.
Malibu. Yeah.
Over to kill clown.
The bitches over to kill Tiffany.
Violator. Violator.
Who's your favorite of the villains of all of them?
Malibu was pretty disappointed.
No, Redeemer. Get your ass back here.
You have to talk about spawn with us.
Hey, Willie, it's true that Japan loves spawn.
You know all this info about that.
Yes, you know, night out.
The author of Try Gun is a huge spawn find.
And the reason why Vashia Stampede's big billowing red
jacket is like Spawn's cape.
What you're saying is, is that Try Gun would have never existed
if it weren't for Spawn and Farland's spawn.
Listen, listen.
All right, back on task.
Let's talk about Casper mattresses.
I mean, I need a good mattress to sleep this fucking podcast.
If if if you are if you are really beat down and tired
because you sold your soul to the devil to save your wife,
Wanda, you need a Casper mattress to bring you to ease.
You deserve the greatest nap after being put through the ringer.
If you're if everyone betrays you down on the police force.
And if you like are pretty much damned to eternal hell.
Now, don't get me wrong.
Crime Alley is a gross, uncomfortable place to sleep.
But what can make it more comfortable is a brand new Casper mattress.
Of course, the best part about the Casper mattress is that once again,
it's shipped straight to your door.
Yes, no matter where you are, you're getting that magic Casper
box. Yeah. So if you happen to live near Crime Alley or in it,
you can have them ship it straight to you and you open up the box
and like magic, it folds out.
And also, if you are a Hellspawn warrior and you're unhappy with your Casper
mattress, you have, I believe up to 100 days to 100 nights risk free
in your own home.
If you don't love it, slightly longer, they will pick it up and refund you
everything. That's great.
Dude, that's if I had nine, nine, nine, nine.
I knew this was going to come up on my power limiter.
A hundred nights.
I could I would spend all my power before a hundred nights was I thought
you're going to say if you had nine, nine, nine, nine and one night
on a Casper mattress, it would go up one.
Oh, such a relaxing.
No, I'm saying a hundred nights is so long that I could spend all by power.
OK. And then they then then have to create a device to ignore that
that initial hook to the comic if the numbers went down.
But hey, that's not about that's not what we're talking about.
Spawn is one thing and Casper mattresses is another.
And a very different thing.
They're very different things.
But you're talking about an award-winning mattress, ships,
free shipping and returns anywhere in US.
Straight to your door.
It technically spawns out of the box.
It does.
So if you head on over to Casper dot com slash super best,
you get 50 bucks towards any mattress purchase.
And that's a fucking good deal.
It is, you know, and as as the mattress that I'm still using
and I will continue to use that has at this point, the memory foam,
it's beyond memory.
It is it has become an institution in your life.
It's a member of the family.
Yeah, it like I have an S link.
I that that that memory foam is my confidant at this point.
So the shape made a deal with that memory foam.
The shape of my like the shape of my body.
Yeah, every night he makes a deal with it.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to rest on you.
That's the deal.
Yeah, you couldn't have made these heists
if you didn't get a good night's sleep.
There must have been some sort of amazing bed you slept on.
Isn't there?
No, I was talking to Kat and told me to go to bed early.
OK, no, tell me about the bed.
Joker, you look like you should go to sleep on a Casper mattress.
Yeah, synergy.
So genius, perfect.
Casper dot com slash super best using offer code super best.
Fifty bucks off that mattress.
It works because people that listen to this like persona and spawn.
And no, think about it.
Think about it. But they also need to hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Casper, he's a ghost, right?
That's the other Casper. OK.
And what's another word for ghost?
Phantom.
Hey, hey, podcast listeners, get it.
You should get it over at Casper dot com slash super best.
Thanks, Casper. Thank you, Casper.
Thank you, Spawn. Wow.
Wow, we are putting in the work today, boys.
Oh, yeah, we are. OK.
So we so we also spawn of the galaxy.
Oh, you son of a bitch, don't do this to my life.
I mean, look, man, please change the podcast
wants to be spawncast on my birthday.
If you ask for it, it won't be a surprise.
Well, I'll say it now and I'll forget about it.
That's true. That's the trick.
Well, they just give yourself a little post it and hit the post.
It just says spawncast on Matt's birthday.
And by the time you get there, you'll be like,
fucking, what is this?
What am I supposed to do?
So I think we need to temporarily become the group cast, if anything.
Oh, oh, yeah.
So what we're going to do is we're going to talk about Guardians of the Galaxy
right now, we're going to go full spoilers and spoilers.
We're going to do it for, what do you say, ten minutes?
Ten minutes is fine. Ten minutes sounds fine.
So I'm going to hit the start on my thing right now.
And at the end of this, the critic theme song will play.
And when the critic theme song plays, that means it's time to stop
talking about Guardians of the Galaxy.
So come back, you haven't seen it because it's a fresh movie
just opened this weekend.
If you haven't seen it and you don't want to hear spoilers.
Skip ten minutes. Stop listening right now.
A Mary Poppins, y'all.
Ah, it's the best.
All right.
Best used to Mary Poppins.
So good.
So good.
Like, I mean, I actually started like I had nothing left in my voice
because it was such a dry laugh.
Like I was because I've been laughing up until that point.
So when like Mary Poppins, y'all just came out.
Honestly, like I'm not this at this point,
I'm kind of walking into these MCU movies like worry free.
I'm walking in pretty much all I'm doing is I'm wondering.
Well, you didn't see Thor the Dark World.
I did. Oh, I didn't mind it.
Oh, wow.
I'm walking in pretty much going like
all I need to know is what they're going to change it,
how they're going to change it.
But this is probably going to be fine, if not great.
And yeah, Guardians did everything it needed to.
The fucking like use of ego
who's now a celestial and, of course, Adam Russell.
Yeah, is perfect.
It's perfect.
I love the living planet actually kind of looks like Kurt Russell.
Yeah, yeah, with the face on it.
Well, we'll occur Russell with a beard and a mustache.
Yeah, but I was kind of unfortunate.
We didn't get to see like of all the things that ego made love to.
Like we didn't get to see ego trying to like graze up on the the moon
because in I believe it's is ramming himself into it.
I think it's next wave, the comment where ego is like super into the moon
and just can't and he's getting pulling close to the earth
and fucking up the tides and everything.
Because he's just like in love with our moon.
But that's stupid because it's like lifeless rock.
Yeah, but he's got the hots for it.
I guess so. He's the moon.
So cute, man.
Ego fucked everything.
All that moon cheese.
And then he was disappointed by it.
Yeah. So my absolute favorite scene in the entire movie
is when you get the big drop, right?
So you have a great moment of finding out that Star Lords
like lineage is like a celestial.
And he's Ego's kid, not Adam Orlox, not Nova's, right?
This is where they played it.
And you have one you have a moment where his eyes go toward they turn into space.
Yeah. And he says it's beautiful.
And he says infinity of the cosmos.
He says eternity.
And I'm wondering if that's a reference to personified concepts
like death, because death with Thanos would be amazing.
And Thanos without death would be less interesting.
But anyway, he fucking he's he's going along with it.
He's like, oh, man, this is amazing.
This is the greatest. And then Russell's like, yes, sorry,
I had to drop that tumor in your mom, because I loved her a bit too much.
And I needed that shit to go away.
And it's just like what the fuck?
What? Huh? Now, what would have happened in most films?
Yeah. Is he goes, how could you?
And they would have would have an argument.
No, raw half a beat drops and he fucking takes out loads.
And it's beautiful, because I'm like, that's the reaction.
If you're a human being and you hear that, you don't stop to think.
Peter, you don't have a why would you you fucking?
Peter loves his mom more than anything.
And like and like and you don't have a weird fake.
Like I am a false moral hero type moment.
No, you blow that fucker away.
Yeah. And if the credits rolled at that point, I would have went, all right.
Yeah, that's fine. I can deal with that.
It's a short one, but it's fine.
I'll take it alternatively.
You could have done something similar to that.
But obviously, obviously just love the movie go on.
It's like, what? Yeah.
Look, I know that sounds kind of bad that it just yeah, then it cuts to black.
And then it goes to another scene.
We would have been what it would have been for.
Well, here's the other thing I wanted.
And I mean, when it continues and then the struggle goes on, right?
I just wanted to make sure I'm like, no matter what type of final argument
they have because villain and hero have to have a final clash
where they're shouting at each other.
Their physical confrontation has to be mirrored by a verbal emotional.
Exactly. So when you have that moment, I'm like,
I don't need you to say anything else to him.
Please just reiterate. Yeah, but you killed my mom.
It doesn't matter what you're trying to appeal to.
You can you can tell me that I can create anything.
You can you can tell me that I'll be able to make some weird shit.
But guess what? It doesn't matter.
That argument is is much less verbose than it usually would be,
where it's like, you know, you're yelling at Ultron.
He's like, oh, humans and all that.
And Kurt Russell does 95 percent of the talking in that final argument.
And he just goes, don't you get it, man?
That's basic, but the villain thing is like, don't you get it?
How awesome that you see and the response by Peter in every scenario.
It's like, I don't care.
And then we do get what I was hoping for, which is
you killed my mom and squished my Walkman, man.
Fucking no squished my Walkman.
It's great.
Guardians doing what they set out to they set out to the first time,
which is, I guess, be 70 percent comedy, 30 percent action.
Yeah. And in this case, you, as you pointed out,
you have two giant, amazing action scenes.
Very elaborate, bombastic.
One would you have a giant melee with an intergalactic space monster
and you have another one thousand ship fucking space battle inside the.
Inside a planet and the cameraman doesn't care.
No one gives a fuck.
It's not that important.
We're in the current scene.
We're looking at Groot or we're arguing about who's got tape,
you know, and we're hearing sound effects.
You're saying before how like they show a bit of the tape gag in the trailer
and we kind of all assumed it was like a one hit thing.
Like, does anyone have any tape?
No, sorry, Rock.
We don't have any tape.
Yeah. But the fact that it drags on for two and a half minutes
and you're just like this joke, and then they bring the joke back.
Like, we have three minutes.
They lose the joke twice and bring it back.
They lose it where it's OK, you've asked a bunch of people.
Did you ask this person?
Yeah, no, you didn't.
Well, they were right there.
They would have spoken up.
They do the Scotch tape version.
Why would you say Scotch tape if you didn't have
why does Drax even know what a Scotch tape is?
Of course, like after the trailer, too, we all know Groot's going to do the button thing.
So that was like, all right, trailer, we know the moment's happening.
But there are so many other good laughs aside from that.
OK, did anyone laugh at this when when I personally, my favorite scene,
my sequence is Yondu and Rocket trapped in the jail cell.
And just their entire thing, their escape or whatever that scene was amazing.
Probably the best part of the movie.
Arrow Rocket is just the problem solver.
It's the best weapon.
The first movie, they had the one quick scene where he kills
like a bunch of guys on the the service proving that you can't fuck with them.
But in this one, it's like, OK, no, it's a labyrinth thing.
But did anyone laugh at when they're like, OK, Rocket, look,
what the thing you got to open has this symbol on?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then like Rocket has it
and there's just silence and he slowly pulls it up.
I was just laughing during the animation of just because honestly,
baby baby Groot is Ger from Zim basically just like
really, really stupid.
The problem with the that enormous arrow scene, though, like it's probably
it's the it's beautiful.
He had to die.
And as you look at that, it's like you can't have that character
hanging out with them around.
He is the problem solver.
There's a him and Rocket are walking through and there's people
falling from the sky like rain.
There is no more conflict if he continues to exist.
So that that makes sense.
Weird, still Vester Salon inclusion.
Maybe he's getting a setting himself up for something.
Probably just another cameo in the future.
Yeah, with his team.
I like that.
Like at first, I was like, OK, Drax is now just a one bit thing.
He does the same bit every single time and it's just going.
They're all so funny.
And it works.
It just works.
You know, they they took that moment of the nothing flies over my head.
I would catch it.
As their template for this is the type of joke he needs to be.
I think there was one joke that didn't land, which was when the Golden
the sovereign people were on that yellow robot sex planet.
Yeah, when they're rolling out her.
I love that.
I laughed at that.
And they're the thing stopped.
Yeah. And no one in my theater left.
My theater was full and I like because and I love that Adam Warlock
is now coming from these jerks because the idea that Adam Warlock
is going to be a full of himself asshole that the camera is like, you jerk.
Yeah, you fucking pompous piece of shit is funny.
I really hope that like he has some of that attitude while still being important.
We have 55 seconds.
Zoon, Zoon jokes.
Soon. Thank you.
Whoever the fuck it was a Microsoft.
It wasn't an iPod.
Bless bless.
Whoever at Microsoft said, yeah, sure.
You didn't make it an iPod.
You made it a dumb joke.
Stupid, stupid player that was great.
That was great.
Looks like a poo.
Yeah, I think overall, just a reason why I enjoy this so much.
Russell, man, because the first movie has a very fractured plot
where there's so much going on.
There's the Nova Corps.
There's there's Nebula.
There's Thanos.
There's the bad guy and they're all doing all this shit.
And in this one, it's just one plot that you follow.
It has its sub stories and they all feed into the villain.
Everyone is compelling.
Everyone is compelling.
Everyone got their moment.
Everyone had a really compelling moment that was emotional and they paired them up.
That's how you work a team together as you work them in mirrored pairs.
It's like the opposite of the entertainment that is Suicide Squad.
And we're done.
Now, play the the the the fucking.
Was that how you were going to do it?
That's the critic.
OK, that was like that didn't sound like whatever the critic theme song.
No, I do. I thought I did.
It stinks. You played it for like two seconds.
It stinks.
There you go.
It stinks.
Jay Sherman.
It stinks.
It stinks.
Yes, Mr. Sherman.
It all stinks.
Yeah, there we go.
There you go.
Oh, I dropped my change.
OK.
They're very good.
Very good.
There we go.
So, yeah, I think this is like in somewhere in my top five of superhero Marvel movies.
I enjoyed it so much.
I don't even know.
I'm not going to start ranking.
I loved it.
That's all I got.
There's a lot of it.
It's super fresh.
It's super fresh, you know, but I mean, it's very clear that at this point, Marvel Studios
with the big fancy logo.
I didn't like the new logo, though.
I can't stand it.
It shows.
I like their older ones.
Well, because now it's not about the.
Comics.
The comics.
It's like the studios are the real money maker.
It is.
It is by far.
And we've created so much legacy with our studios that we need to show those clips from
the movies, not the comics, because we're beyond that.
It's like fine.
Fair enough.
Exactly.
I know exactly why they did it.
I just visually, I think, is a less interesting logo.
That's all.
You're not.
You're not wrong.
I like the simplicity of the book turning sound.
So I kind of like think the bombastic Hollywood, you know, trumpets are like, yeah, but,
you know, it used to be simpler and cool.
But that's a fucking good movie.
You should go watch it.
Yeah.
It's high quality.
Indeed.
We got news.
We have some news.
All right.
We've got some great things.
Should we just jump right into the frothing at the bit news?
Or should we?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Froth it.
All right.
Froth it.
Well, these demand for the blonde boy.
This frothing demand increases.
The blonde boy.
Yes.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Listen.
Hey, man.
Now I understand.
He got ripped in like a month.
He looked because he's got to look like Abel.
Yeah.
Street Fighter V's Ed has leaked.
And we got to take.
There's a fucking full trip.
Now there is.
Oh, yeah.
It leaked first.
And then there the trailer dropped.
It leaked by Capcom.
Capcom leaked it.
Oh.
Oh.
Inception.
Yeah.
So let's talk about.
We'll come back to that later.
Now, right off the bat.
I love Ed's look where he's got the B-Rabbit hoodie on.
Yes.
And I've talked about that a good bit.
How I'm excited to see that weird psycho boxer exist.
Yes.
What we got was a design that looks quite different from that.
It is a goddamn trifusion.
You've nailed something so specific because yes, they literally took three design elements
and three different characters.
It is Plague of Grypes's patented character design invention, the trifusion.
Now, first things first, allow me to say that thanks for infiltration for the good tweet.
They showed off the alt costumes, including the B-Rabbit hoodie.
Of course.
Good.
So you're going to get that.
But forget that.
And then you're going to get the alternate Bison style boxer outfit.
That one's good.
The shorts are a little weird, but that's fine.
Package is pronounced.
Barry.
He's boxer shorts.
You know, he's doing it.
In that band stage.
I'm a fan.
Were they playing music?
But otherwise, Ed is this really weird shadowloo soldier thing.
And he's wearing the mini Kami hat.
And I know a lot of people hate it, but I don't.
I fucking hate that.
I don't hate it.
I'm with Woolly on this.
I like his actual design.
I don't.
I just, I just hate the hat.
I think I like the hat.
I think the hat looks like one of those old timey soldier uniforms.
And it makes me think of like, yeah.
I like that he's Bison, but he's blue.
The same things I was talking about with Harry Ness when we played Fallen Angels last week
was the same things that apply here where I'm like old soldier uniforms.
Something just looks really cool about those.
I appreciate it.
I don't think the hat looks like the rest of them looks fine.
It looks great.
But like, but to me, it's like when I actually watch a trailer today and it has the fucking
rap song and it shows all his fucking moves, like he does look really awesome to play as
like, I'm, this is actually the first character in a long time is maybe go, maybe I should
boot up Street Fighter five.
He's shaping up to definitely follow in the clone able footsteps too, because the way
he's buffed up here before, like in the story mode, he had a bit of a thinner look to him.
I think there's going to be an explanation.
They're going to be like, fuck it.
Who cares?
I worked out.
He ages, he ages faster.
Okay.
That's, that's already headed.
Ages way faster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was, that was never see this character again.
They'll never bring him back for no reason.
He's going to be dead.
Now, as far as things like the swoop in his hair goes, which I saw some people pointing
out with was like as a negative and it's, he always had the swoop.
Yeah.
It was there in his hoodie costume as well.
So that might have been something that people missed.
Yeah.
Here we go.
So we can, you have the story mode.
He always has the swoop.
And then you have the, the shadow Lou hat.
So Willie, how do you feel about them putting magic Steve Fox in Street Fighter?
I hate that sort of thing.
I don't stand for that.
He's straight up magical.
Get the fuck out of here.
This is crazy.
He's super up my alley.
And you know what?
Even before all of that.
Strouds coming to 14.
Yeah.
Don't even worry about that.
I'm just a fan of the fact that the one thing we saw from this character in Street Fighter
4 as a possible Balrog student was an exciting thing to follow through on and think about.
Absolutely.
And they did exactly what we all wanted.
They made a playable.
A psycho boxer.
They made the psycho boxer out of an ending character.
You know, and there's a lot.
Look, the story actually went somewhere.
For once.
You know, there's a, there's some story endings that they completely ignored and or didn't
pay attention to.
We still don't know whose knife that was in Fay Long's ending, but.
Oh, Christ.
Exactly.
And to be honest.
I completely.
And we, and we, and I know for a fact that they didn't know whose knife it was either
when they put it in there, but that's neither here nor there.
What we have is psycho boxer who's got a very unorthodox button input system.
Yeah.
No motions.
No charges.
Only touching two buttons at once.
Or, uh, inputting, um, forward and, and, and forward.
Command normal.
His projectile, I believe, is a command normal.
Sounds fucking nuts.
His fucking uppercut, his shoryu equivalent is hit both kicks.
That's weird.
It's super weird.
I'm down with Capcom Rock Howard.
Are you?
More like.
Cap Coward.
What?
Cap Rock.
Uh, and here's the thing is to me, I like Ed and the inclusion of him as so much that
whoever the rest of those three are going to be, it's gravy.
I got what I wanted.
Well, I got what I wanted.
What I like.
I got what I fucking want.
What I like is that for season two, we had character that people would argue should have
played this game, followed by completely new character, followed by completely new character.
The one of those is probably Hinata.
Now here's the other bit.
But like, we're, we're getting new blood.
I always want more new blood.
Now here's the other bit.
I'm again, I'm again picturing alternate reality where.
How do you always know which ones hurt me just like that?
You always know.
It's been years.
There's been podcasts where you screamed about him like several times.
No, but it's like, you always have like, when I talk about virtue fighter, you're like,
man, yeah, I sure do love dead or alive and like, talk about this.
You have Rubus ready to go.
So you have a fucking.
We know you love new blood.
We did a trifusion with plague sitting in as he designed fang and Rufus together.
Don't forget fungus.
Fungus.
Uh, so let's imagine if we would that the reveal came out and the costume was simply the hoodie
one and we didn't send any of the others.
I can envision a conversation being like, oh, I wish it wasn't just the same thing.
We already saw.
Yes.
Like Helen.
Like if it was just the kid version and it was just a story mode, like his story, like
whatever, like model, but the fact that he's older and wears the hoodie, like I think at
least makes it a bit newer.
So it would have been okay.
And, you know, like, just like Colin, it's like, oh, she's just wearing the same thing.
Right.
So the fact that it's not that smell of a man's colon, the fact that it's actually something
different, I think is a positive.
And like I'd rather this than be complaining about seeing the same thing.
I would very much want to see like third strike was the third strike was the place for this
character.
The new generation that is an amalgam of old fighters.
Yeah.
Like I would literally taught by them.
I would like to see more disciples, more passing the torch, you know, time moves forward,
man.
We love that.
We love Ibuki.
We love young and young.
Real slowly in Street Fighter, real, real slow.
But I mean, Ibuki is not a direct pass torch pass, but it is coming off of Gecki.
If you kind of a little bit, just a tiny baby bit.
Yeah.
I'm very interested in picking up some of the some Ed and figuring out if I like his,
like what he's got going for him.
Because yeah, man, psycho boxer and he doesn't have charge inputs so he can do all of those
rush down things we see in his trailer while walking forward.
And that's interesting.
I worry that he may come out super broken or terrible.
And they'll have to balance it.
No in between.
It's possible.
It's new input type.
It's possible.
That and that makes me feel like they'll either be like, no, no, no, fuck it'll be fine.
Or they'll be like, no, no, we have to be really careful and he'll come out one way or
the other.
Well, I'm never going to get Dean.
Oh my God.
No.
You want a scrap dunk?
You looking for a scrap dunk over here?
Yeah.
You're never getting a scrap dunk again.
I'm never getting that shit.
Hang that up, buddy.
You're done.
Fuck off with your Dean.
You'd sooner get fucking Kyle than you'd get Dean.
No, I'd get Dean over Kyle.
Well, look, do you think this shadow over here could be Dean?
No.
He had spiky hair at the back.
I do not think that.
That last shadow, that last portrait on the hidden character list could totally be.
One of its birdie.
But it's like the birdie from SF1 and it's like that motherfucker stole my name.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Like if you're like, geez, you want to bring back SF1 characters?
We still got Joe.
We still got Mike.
We got Lee.
I fucking loved Joe.
Actually playable, but he was never playable.
He's overwritten by a boogie and they got pretty.
Joe is awesome.
And we have profile data on all of them now.
So you can go take a look and see what the roster would theoretically be.
Yeah, man.
The video of his moves.
It's super dope.
Could that next character be Sagat?
Never.
No.
We know gameplay wise that would not bring Sagat back.
I would like one of those three to be one of the female wrestlers from Armica's League
and all that.
That'd be really cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not Yokohama again.
She's old, but like some of one of the Armica wrestlers would be really fun.
All the designs are great.
In fact, like, you know, if one of these turned out to just be Yamato, that'd be fine too.
With a different move list.
Another wrestler girl.
That'd be really fun.
Yeah.
But yeah, Sagat, I think like either they bring him back and change him entirely,
which everyone hates.
Or you bring out another Muay Thai fighter that is more Muay Thai.
But the keep away zoning fireball forever game is not coming back.
It's not.
Yeah.
Three, five, five, very.
Anti.
Anti-fireballs.
So no.
What if he forgot how fireball and he threw tigers at you?
The moves he's got, those V-triggers and V-skills.
Oh, the tether is really crazy.
What is up?
Like the tether is really nuts.
He either tethers to you and drags himself in or tethers himself to you and whips you
towards him.
And you get a power dunk.
And there's an air version.
That's so cool.
He's got a fucking power dunk for real.
Super underrated.
He's got a walking slow projectile.
I don't think the power dump is underrated at all.
I think everybody loves the power dunk.
No, no.
Everyone loves it, but it's not in enough games.
You're sure.
And with all the rock Howard references here, we've got a cane reference almost in the
sense that like it's a slow walking fireball that you can, you know, yoga catastrophe
behind it.
You can do things off of it because it's slow enough moving.
The psycho barrage looks pretty cool.
Psycho barrage.
Right.
And he's got a multi-mash button special.
Which they said they were getting rid of, actually, because Chun-Li lightning legs, they
I bet the input on it is real easy.
Probably three.
Yeah.
Like, like super easy.
One, two, three.
Could be.
Could be.
But I really did think they were getting rid of those moves because, uh, yeah, he had
corrects who got changed.
So we'll see where that goes, man.
But fuck.
Yeah, I'm happy.
This is exactly what I want.
I'm like between if this here you go, Willie, here's the character for you.
And then Rick Stroud might be possible because it's not even a news article, but I'm just
saying the art director for KOF 14 showed a picture of an unrendered 3D model that looked
like Rick Stroud.
And he said, get in the ring.
He did that for you.
Yeah.
No, it's what that is, is he's going to be in the background of a new stage.
And.
Yeah, baby.
That would be getting out of the ring.
The guilty gear rev two demo dropped and biking was in it and, uh, biking is coming back.
And again, I'm super happy about that.
I, of course, I had, like, my PlayStation is in a box.
She looks like the fake design of her from the fucking fake leak.
Like it's, it's goofy.
Like all, like her proportions are even the same.
But she's not a cat girl.
Yeah, I know.
So.
Anyway, you can't get everything you want.
No, maybe, maybe one of those big shadows, maybe not yet.
Maybe it's Q.
There has to be completely new character.
I will.
It's not.
Q has no age.
Q has no time.
He can, he can be anywhere at any time.
Except that he's been, it won't be him.
His fighting style is already represented by Rog.
I'm going to fucking cry.
Fucking toy.
I'm being too real.
Oro.
I really want Oro.
Fuck Oro.
Oro.
Be cool.
He is not like any other character and he has a move that said that'd be fun for it.
He's like a weird creepy old yellow penis.
And he's never come back.
He's never come back.
So anyway, um, so that's the exciting bit for the week.
There's some other things dropping, of course, Q every day represent the other big story.
And you guys can take this one away because I don't know much about it.
All right.
Darksiders 3.
Matt, go.
Okay.
So Darksiders 3 looks awful.
So it looks like fucking garbage.
Now Darksiders 1 and 2, Darksiders 2 was different from 1.
Very.
Extremely.
So this is, I guess, almost like similar in how it's different from what came before.
Well, what, what's, what, when I say Darksiders 3 looks awful is because they, for whatever
reason, they decided let's release a gameplay trailer.
You know when gameplay trailers are finished and the game is done and it says pre-alpha?
This also says pre-alpha, even though it's not, but it is because the HUD's not finished.
Nothing's finished.
The AI is brain dead.
She has one basic combo.
Like it's fucking the gameplay.
They should not have released this gameplay because I think it does a disservice to the
game.
They should have waited.
Her model does look better than that awful fucking Jak and Daxter look that she had in
the cutscene reveal where it's just, her model doesn't look too bad.
I don't mind it, but it's not amazing either.
But I just watched the gameplay trailer this.
It was like 12 minutes long in IGN and I think I nodded off around the fifth minute of just
wandering through an empty, really boring environment and I was just like, why did they
release this?
The game's got a lot going against it right away.
Matt's talking about how they showed it off like real early.
I don't think the whip is...
Well, it leaked, didn't it?
No.
Well, it leaked and then they did the official thing.
Yeah.
Well, an Amazon listing was like, hey, Darksiders 3 exists and then they said, oh, okay, well,
let's release everything.
And then IGN released, I think the next day or later that day, released this 12 minute
gameplay demo.
I don't know how many people feel like Matt or I on this and I think I feel a little
stronger than Matt does about it, but the game has something going against it real hard
right from the beginning and it's a problem that started with Darksiders 1 and it's a
problem where war is like, oh, God, we're at the Four Horse, we're going to fucking get
it.
We're going to get them so bad.
Yeah.
It's me, man.
It's me.
It's my bro, Death.
And my girl Fury and my boy Strife, though, you know, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
Yeah.
Which they, like, because I guess they already from day one said, pestilence would be a boring
gameplay plan.
Dude, Strife uses a gun.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
Strife doesn't use a gun.
That's incorrect.
Don't shortchange Strife.
Strife has two guns.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Now a pistol and one hand and a pistol and one hand.
Dude, here's.
Famine's tough.
I'll give you that.
Famine's tough.
We talked about this.
But vague slash pestilence is the coolest of the four.
No, it's too hard.
You can make a mage type character.
No.
No, it's too hard.
Or just a melee person that all they're getting tired just hearing your description and dying.
No.
Poison.
You can be a Dark Souls character.
You can make platforms out of bubbling zits.
No.
I want to lie down.
You're making me want to lie.
I'm too tired.
Too much work.
Those batteries over there, by the way.
Yeah, we'll do.
Let me rewind.
I like Darksiders in general.
I'm glad this third one exists.
I'm glad that it's continuing.
Yeah, me too.
Absolutely.
I'm happy about that.
But I'm just like right now, just like you should not have shown this.
Like I'm trying to be like it's early.
It's early.
It's going to.
If it comes out and you guys super duper love it.
Just remember this conversation.
No, obviously.
Even if I super duper love it, I'd still prefer Famine pestilence.
How rare is it that someone releases a gameplay trailer meant to hype out the game?
And it's like it's awful.
It doesn't hype anyone at all.
I mean, I mean, some people have seen on to her like, I think it looks fine.
I'm like, yeah, I guess it looks fine.
But now the whole point of these things is to get everyone excited.
Like, oh, look at this.
Look at all this shit you can do in no other game.
This is what makes Darksiders 3 Darksiders 3 and to show none of that.
So my understanding, because I get it, not not too up to date on the lore here.
They named Fury, but they never showed her, right?
No, they they named Fury.
She was shown a bit in the comic book.
That was a pretty cool thing.
And there's like one Joe Mad sketch of the number one thing about the
all the the the horsemen was that even in Darksiders one is that you got to know
what their weapons were. OK.
Like, you knew you knew that death used to scythe.
You knew that I think in the opening, I think in the opening,
Darksiders one had like a sepia tone scroll thing where it showed like the lore
and it showed like a shot of all four horsemen and all of them, except for war,
was slightly different, like death looked a little bit different than he
eventually wound up to be and and strife is just basically has like a robot mask
like he has no mouth like he kind of looks like a like a like a robot face.
And he's just a guy with two guns.
So the so the the game now is you're playing fury because we can't do
pestilence and plague and you're fighting up.
You're going up to fight the Seven Deadly Sins warps for me.
That's cool. Seven Deadly Sins, sloth, greed, lust and V and V wrath.
Wrath or possibly rage.
Yeah, which is a sin, but you're fury.
No, shut up.
OK, well, like, why are you?
Why do you take beef with a concept?
No, man, no, no, man, you're going to.
I don't know. I don't know.
The horsemen come in a certain sequence, right?
First, it's this, then it's this, and then everyone dies because of war comes
and then pestilence takes over and then death takes over because that's the way it goes.
OK, OK, OK, so like, I think somewhere,
somewhere they they said how strife and fury work in like strife.
No, fury leads to anger or whatever leads to strife.
Everyone going up in arms, going, oh, no, leads to war, war going on and then one dies.
The real reason here is that the four horsemen in this fucking universe
are actually weird mystic aliens or some weirdo magical race.
They're Neville Heim.
They're Nephilim, Nephilim.
Yeah, they're Nephilim.
So fuck it. But they read the horse.
Yeah, but they are not metaphysical concepts made flesh.
They're actual people and they just took those names because they were bad.
And what about the sins?
The sins are things personified.
Although in the gameplay video, I think a sloth is just a big bug.
Yeah, OK, because I just I kind of was just like, no, you're right.
It's fucking stupid.
Like, is it OK to be furious, but it's bad to be wrathful?
That's correct.
All right.
Well, luckily, luckily, it's strife going up against them, right?
Not fury.
Fury's the brother.
The horseman is this fury.
I don't even know.
Well, fuck me. I don't know what the girl is.
Why are you looking at?
She looks like she's some jack and jackster.
Fucking amity and pestilence, man.
Yeah, come on. OK, so so that's 50 percent wrong.
It's not.
Well, the horsemen work outside of heaven and hell.
No one can judge them.
They're there. You said they're aliens.
No, he was just that was just a buzzword.
Oh, don't say that, because I literally thought they were aliens.
They're their own separate race that that that doesn't.
You know, Nephilim, they've got a lot of yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because God of War has actual gods.
Yeah, are these not gods?
No, they're kind of weird in betweeners.
Their word in betweeners.
They're weird. They're very strong.
I should probably play and find out someday.
Anyway, so then what you could you can settle the argument
because they're like me and Matt, which do you like better, too?
I much prefer one. Oh, it's one of those series.
OK, all right, let me back up because I'm very passionate about the character
action combos they saw because one in two minds will be totally different genres.
Yes. OK, one is a really basic
Zelda like game where you don't do much other than going to dungeons.
There's no there's little bits of overworld, but there's not much going on there.
There's no towns. There's no there's not a lot of exploring.
There's only just the the the dungeon hunts, right?
Yeah, to and its combat and one is OK.
It's fine in a PS2 way.
Yeah, the second one has insane combat,
tons of loot and customization for your character and its open world.
Like you can travel from one end to the other.
And the world is quite large.
The world is quite large.
The problem with two is that they only had enough time
because this is the end of T.H.Q.
The first area is really well done.
There's a lot going on there.
And as you go on, the game gets worse and worse.
The game, it's worse as you play it. Yeah. OK.
And the world's become less detailed.
They become smaller. There's less to do.
It is. It is.
If you were to play them now, you would not encounter this.
But that game that game was rough when it came out.
There were there were you had a lot of bugs,
shocking amount of progression, blocking bugs.
Yeah. Of the game auto saved me in this room
and I kill all these enemies and now the door just won't open.
It just will not open.
Got to just do this over and over until the door opens.
So I like parts.
If you could put the combat and customization of two into one,
that'd be a fucking game right there.
But this looks nothing like one or two.
It no, it's just that just the gameplay is just I can't.
Like what you're watching right now,
she's walking this empty arena
and she's going to whip herself over to an area.
I can't tell yet because it's so fucking early.
But from what they showed, it's just like it's just not compelling
from this gameplay.
So is this something that would not have happened in the dark side?
They said that this game is just right away.
They said this game will be open world.
That's all that's all that.
And you fight the seven deadly sins. And that's it.
So, Willie, maybe a panel come back by the time you talk about it.
Scroll down the story just a little bit.
Yeah. Can we please talk about the if you know this collection?
Yeah, well, this the other day.
All I know is on PS4,
we saw a thumbnail for Dark Siders one and two.
And the thumbnail was a giant on the top.
Prominently, a war in the top right corner left or whatever.
And then was the other one death death on the other side.
And in the middle was fury who has nothing to do with those games
and is not anywhere in that collection.
No. And I was like, go and read the description.
There must be some sort of a costume pre-order bonus icon event.
Some there must be something relating to her.
No. Here that you would put her
prominently on the thing because I'm buying Dark Siders one or two.
There was not.
They simply went, hey, you guys saw her Dark Siders three.
Well, here she is.
Here's Fury's collection who has neither fury in it or a collection.
Do that. That's silly.
The one thing about that is that that's an incredible deal.
It's like $24 for both remastered versions of Dark Siders.
Even with those games as flaws, they're still good games.
They're still solid eights, I'd say.
I'd say sevens for both.
Hey, man, I'm being generous.
Whatever. But like, like, imagine if with if when the Metal Gear Solid
Collection came out with one, two, three and four, and they called it
the Raiden Collection.
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
Because Revengeance is hot right now.
Exactly.
What are you doing?
I feel like that has super happened before.
But I can't. It's so dumb.
Yeah, maybe.
Oh, just put an achievement or some stupid thing in there
to explain why you'd even bother with her portrait.
You get Fury's whip and Dark Siders one as an item.
You do not.
OK, but you do get Stryfe's guns in both games.
You get a gun.
I think it's called the Redeemer or the Redemption or the Edge Lord.
It is very much so.
What do we know about Stryfe?
He uses guns.
Is he a gun?
And he's a character you.
Yeah, man. No, he's the other horseman.
But what I mean is, would there be a Dark Siders four where you play as him?
Yeah, no success.
Yes, the original concept for Dark Siders before the first one came out.
It was going to be a four player co-op game where you all played as the horseman.
And then they said, shit, we can't do this.
We're a brand new studio.
We can't fucking get a player co-op going yet.
I guess what I'm trying to ask is like, Fury, this is the first time
you're seeing all these details about her because she's kind of just whatever.
Stryfe, are there, is there a lot of detail?
There's one piece of art I've seen of him.
That's it. Same as there was.
He's got a character running around in the room.
No, no, no. Got it. OK.
OK. Each horseman is isolated in his own game.
Probably the weirdest part.
You see. Oh, yeah.
So who is that chained up guy?
That was war. That was war.
Oh, yeah. And here's where it gets really confusing,
because the very beginning of Dark Siders is the beginning of that story.
And then the end of Dark Siders one ends with this fucking cliffhanger dick tease.
Oh, yeah. Of, oh, we beat up the biggest, the baddest, baddest, big, bad.
And now all my brother and my sister, we're good.
And you see, like, you see that you look something, you see three stars
and they're they're meteors and they're coming down.
It's like four horsemen are going to fucking rack ass.
And then you start screen, you start Dark Siders, too.
And a guy is talking to death is like so worse chained up and shit.
And like he's going to get out in like a thousand years.
But it's a prequel.
The second game is a prequel to a bunch of fucking shit before that.
And then in this fucking trailer, she's talking to war.
It's all chained up and shit.
She's like, I'm going to go do stuff.
Well, she's like laughing at him being chained.
You go fucking have Dark Siders one later.
And if strife has a fucking game, it's going to be all, hey, war,
you fucking waiting for Dark Siders one to happen.
Oh, that's tough shit.
I'm going to go fucking.
It's super weird.
Is then at least like, is it going to be a thing where they all end at that
moment from part one, where they're all coming together?
Because that's a cool idea support.
Well, Dark Siders, Dark Siders, too.
And that way I didn't beat it.
If they all if they all end with that thing you just described, that we're going
to beat the meetup, the biggest, baddest thing as long as you're not chained up.
Because because war gets fooled into triggering the apocalypse early.
So for that sin, he for the the actual mega, the watchers, the
celestials of this universe say you're going to be chained up for a thousand
years while three other games are going to go on.
Now, why would she be super happy about that?
I don't know. She's a bitch.
She's like, ah, you're done.
All right. Well, I'm so bad.
Because I think they believe he's guilty or something.
Well, he is. He's super wrong.
Well, yes. But he got tricked.
Yeah. Oh, you got tricked into killing billions of people.
Well, no, he got tricked into anyway.
Yeah. All right.
Well, as far as whip movesets go, you got you got Lords of Shadow to compare to.
So if you can hear the sounds of this, it's the other off.
Yeah, it's the one same whip sound effect.
And I saw a lot of people. Hey, man.
Hey, Matt, Matt, pre-alpha, right?
It's pre-alpha. Come on.
Look, that's that's pre-alpha.
Those two bars up there.
Look, that's never been more pre-alpha than that.
That's fucking that's late alpha, if not early.
I I'm being harsh on this now because I want this to be good.
But like I I really want to get I would I would very much like a dark
Siders game to come out and not have some compromises, some crippling issue or
like they they both have significant compromise that you can see while you're
playing, you know, like when you hear about a game, you're like, oh, it could
have been this, but you didn't quite think about it when you were playing it.
The Dark Siders series is not that series.
Yeah, you see the part that the thing got cut out of and it sucks.
So when I finished the first game, I was like, oh, man, that there are some flaws
in that and I wasn't happy with this part, but holy shit.
When they make a sequel, that will be bad ass and up until I was like, yeah,
yeah, no, Dark Siders 2, I'm like ready.
And then when I started getting really into it and getting a bit further,
I was like, well, I remember and I might be wrong on some of the details on one
of them. And I know for sure they were talking about when Dark Siders 1 came
out, they were like, hey, man, the next game, all four horsemen, we're going to
play them all. And then and then like they said that like once and then later
when the game actually started, you'd be death, man, death's the shit.
But man, that next game, all four horsemen, man.
And now this one, the this is made by a different developer, visual games.
Yeah. What was the company in the beginning of this?
This is Ghostfire Games, which has some people from visual, but most of them
went to Airship Syndicate, who are making Battle Chasers Night War.
The which also looks like fucking Garciter, unrelated.
Well, same.
Like, I mean, the art.
Well, because it's the same guy, same guy, tangentially related note.
But like this trend of calling fully rendered characters, worlds and
everything pre-alpha is going to skew and fuck up what people actually think
pre-alpha. It's been a long.
It's been bad for a while.
We've talked about this before.
That's this game is early, but this isn't pre-alpha.
This is like maybe a shitty.
Because now because the idea of like something looking this almost done,
pretty rendered, all that shit compared to what we know real pre-alpha is
makes gamers think that like, what, like, what do you call the steps where
this was untextured and flat? What is pre-alpha?
What do you call that?
Pre-pre-alpha.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, it's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing yet.
All right. Let me ask you guys a question.
What is the earliest you can remember this problem occurring?
What do you mean?
Like, what is the first point that you can remember seeing footage or playing
a beta and being like, that's horseshit?
One of the Let's Watches on a on stage at one of our earlier E3s,
we saw it pop up and so the pre-alpha footage,
the beginning of this problem, to my knowledge,
the like the moment that I said that's nonsense and this is going to skew it
was the fucking call of duty for multiplayer beta because they called it
a fucking multiplayer beta and I remember playing that thing.
That thing was complete. That thing was gold master.
There was absolutely nothing to work on.
And that's when beta started to replace the word demo.
If it's called a multiplayer beta,
the game can still be content and feature complete and everything.
It was netcode and fucking server complete.
But if it's a multiplayer beta,
that can just be referring to just the online.
It ran flawlessly that whole weekend.
I played it the whole time.
The root of this problem is that beta and alpha are now marketing terms for the
mess. Yeah. The mess is that they say, Hey,
if you see anything you don't like in this, don't worry.
It's a beta or it's an alpha and things will improve.
Yeah, and a beta demo and beta demos do come out.
That exists. What was wrong with the fucking phrase?
Objects may objects are in development.
They may.
Here's my thought process on it, right?
Is I imagine that beta,
because people have gotten their hands on so many betas as a regular thing,
beta has almost come to make people think that it's pretty much final,
like the destiny beta was a good example. That was final.
Yeah. So no,
so we don't want people to think that it's actually final because saying beta
makes makes you already think it's final.
So we have to back it up another phase entirely.
And by backing it up another phase, when you see alpha, you go, Oh,
they're far from done. There's so much more to come, but that's not true.
And so, and then to back it up even further than alpha,
you the only place left to go is pre-alpha.
I have seen pre-pre-alpha somewhere on a fucking thing.
And pre-alpha, like, you know, that implies like there's tons more to come.
I have used this example and I've asked you this question and you've always
answered the same way. And I go, Wally, would pre-pre-alpha be you hit A
in your character jumps? Maybe.
You know, maybe that's not called pre-pre-alpha.
That's not a phase.
That's a that's a that's a checkerboard environment where, you know,
a programmer is running around and there's and the physics started working.
You know, that's it.
A better descriptor for this Darksiders footage is that this is their vertical
slice, which is they sat down and they polished one small area of the game
to be a proof of concept.
A lot of developers like go, I'm working on the vertical slice.
It's how you get investors.
You get investors who say, hey, we've developed this amount.
Please be impressed by this so we can then go full hog and design the rest
of the game around this idea. Yeah.
And he has a vertical slice.
This is a poor thing because it doesn't show any gameplay aspects that are
new or exciting or makes it different.
She's just doing the same three hit combo over and over and over again
against enemies that don't do anything.
Yeah, they should just be honest with them, what they're naming their things.
Well, I just found out that Pestilence is not always the fourth horseman.
Yeah, I saw that the other day.
There's there's there's a there's an alternative fourth horseman,
which rides the white horse and its conquest.
Oh, that's going way back.
I have heard that once or twice before.
That is true.
Hmm. Marvel Comics kind of set it up for me.
I still think Pestilence is the cause.
I think Pestilence is cool.
And I think Plague is cool.
I think disease powers are awesome.
Yeah, and not not a lot, but you want them to all be as different as possible.
Yeah, you know, you don't want you don't want everyone to be the same kind of ranger.
That's like a major or a wizard type of character being either Pestilence or or
famine like why not?
You're making me want to lie down to work and get sick.
I'm tired. I like this.
I like you can use that for other stuff, too.
That's useful. You're making me tired.
I don't want to be bored.
Yeah, OK, that's good.
You keep that.
Yeah, it's good.
Sleepy hates what you're talking about.
Sleepy.
I lazy developer.
Not bad.
I'll tell you what, Pat.
I've never been closer to purchasing a copy of Monster Hunter,
Monster Hunter XX spawn hunter.
Monster Hunter.
Then this morning,
Monster Hunter spawn XX.
I might go by that 3DS game.
Stories, I mean, Monster Hunter XX.
OK, and the reason why?
Why is that?
Is because the strider shit strider fucking is joining the not as a
costume set as an actual character's own moves.
No, it's a costume set, but there are moves associated.
So you are with this.
You are fully cosplaying strider and you're doing striders moves.
And everything is doing like you're just playing a strider.
You can buy whatever you want.
I love this trailer so I can see it and I will tell you that it
already like it's just mapped to it.
It's ours as they are.
And yeah, sound effects are all there and music and stuff too.
But yeah, obviously, yeah, they've done this in the past.
But usually when you play is usually when they do the crossover events,
they give you the character and all it is is that the fucking cat dudes
get a girl strider too, which is cool.
Well, in case your character is a girl.
Yeah, OK, that's the dual swords moveset.
You see how he's got something in his right in his left hand as well.
That's because he's using the dual swords moveset.
OK, you can already play as this character.
But like these these specific strider looking moves.
Yeah, no, that's that's that's the that's the what happened starting
with Monster Hunter Cross.
Oh, really?
In that like everybody gets hyper shit and cross cross gives everybody
even more hyper shit.
Like cross and cross cross really or double cross or whatever the fuck
generate generations, it they they have a lot of a lot of mechanical
differences with old Monster Hunter, because old Monster Hunter was very rigid.
Like the moves are the moves kind of thing, and they're giving everybody
super moves and and hyper shit and huge jump arcs and stuff like that.
And it really feels like like a bunch of test games for a new movement
system in a later game, but no, you could totally already.
So they they just picked a weapon set that they felt
matched up with Strider the best.
The dual weapon, the twin blades totally match up with him pretty well,
OK, especially with the aerial style that they showed off.
OK, so it's like putting something in Dark Souls and assigning it a weapon.
That's right. It's already there. I see.
Yeah. OK, cosmetics. Well, fuck, I love Strider.
Yeah, that's cool news.
I don't want to play the 3ds version of that game.
I don't want to play it. I don't want to play it.
Well, you don't want to hear the word 3ds ever again.
I don't want to hear the word 3ds or 2ds XL.
Even when the one that I ordered off Amazon shows up,
I'm going to look at it and go, I hate you.
OK, and then play Monster Hunter Cross Cross on it and be sad.
We don't have to talk about that. OK.
We can talk about farm.
Have you heard about farm?
The beat him up. Yeah. Yes, sir.
F-A-R-M. You want to take a guess of what that stands for, Pat?
The M stands for monsters.
Fight and
fight against mutant.
Oh, mutant. Sorry, not monsters.
I had to fight against the revenge of the mutants.
I lied. It says fight against mutant revenge, dude.
Oh, this is Famer.
Well, down here, it's farm.
Anyway, I follow this developer.
Oh, what do you know about this, then?
Oh, they they just put out a lot of animated gifts
on like screenshots on Twitter.
Yeah. And they just they just given little development videos.
A very combo based, like, yeah, three like Sprite.
No, not much, not much to really judge.
I mean, I saw a character get thrown
and then the second character hit them.
So there's a juggle system. That's cool.
No, no, the there's there is a big juggle system.
I've seen videos where they're doing special moves into juggles
and and and when a guy's falling down, they do another special move.
It's pretty elaborate. I like the Sprite style.
I like what they're I like it.
But hopefully it's got like, yeah, good, good, a good move less,
a good move base.
So there's three characters, F, Morris, Gal,
and the big bull guy is Ricardo.
I like that. I like Ricardo because there are so many beat'em ups
that have been there's a lot of beat'em ups that have been coming out.
But we have we don't see three player beat'em ups too often, right?
Armored Warriors, well, three, three at once.
Yes, like not four.
It's either four or two.
Yeah, four or two. And this is going for three.
Those are the sweet spots, usually.
Yeah, they were there trying something out here.
So keep an eye out for fight against the revenge
of the mutants.
I'm going to see what's going on with that.
Dude, I hate revenge of the mutants.
I hate their revenge on us.
I think it's justified.
Yeah, you're right.
It's a deserved comeuppance.
Yeah, totally.
Oh, it's going to be bad.
It's going to be bad.
When pigs learn how to use guns, it's all over.
Hmm.
Another deserved comeuppance.
Human bacon is the good old boys at Retro Studios.
Oh, please, please be something.
Please, please let this be a real story
and not one of those stories.
It's like, oh, man, he sure loves to make Donkey Kong music.
Alex Brandon, the composer of Deus Ex,
Thief and Unreal is announced.
And and he did torment ties and numeric.
Oh, really? Yeah.
He announced he's working with Retro Studios
on something on an exciting project.
Oh, I can't wait for that atmosphere and the new Donkey
Don. So the real story here is you can make the jokes,
but there's no way it's another Donkey Kong.
Yeah, I thought that the last time.
A sequel, come on.
They can do a sequel, though.
That's fine.
Yeah, they can do a sequel.
I took the bigger the bigger story here to me
is that Retro Studios is doing something.
Well, they've been doing what we always knew
they were working on something,
but this is a tiny little baby hint as to what it could be.
You don't really hire a musical audio guy
until the project's kind of taken off.
Yeah, on wheels, on wheels.
We need music for this part.
This Donkey Kong part, this part with the fucking mine cart.
No, do it like that other guy.
Here's the thing, there's no reason to hire a new guy
when the other Donkey Kong games,
they just got the rare guys to make music for them.
So I a lot of people are saying this is going to be a new IP.
I would be OK with that.
I would I would actually prefer it.
I would be.
Would I like a new Metroid?
Yes, but maybe like a cool 2D one on the switch.
But I would also like a Metroid game.
I know. That would be fun.
But I would like Raven Blade, though.
I want Raven Blade now.
Where is my Raven Blade?
Hey, man, where's my where's my Raven Blade burrito?
I don't think I don't know.
I don't know if we're ever going to see Metroid Prime again.
Prime.
We might not. We might not.
About like another Metroid.
But here's the thing is,
but Metroid Prime is also like three really did a lot.
Yes, and, you know,
for it to not get too samey, whatever,
if they ever did continue it, it would have to be really, really different.
And plus it's easy to just make another of the same thing, but it would get boring.
I think like a 2D Metroid that's like, you know,
a little bit smaller scale and stuff would kind of be a good fit on the switch
and play handheld style or whatever.
A big first person shooter, whatever, man.
Do whatever you want with the French, whatever.
OK, you know, I'm going to back out all the way.
All I want is a game in which there's I'm like,
kind of got robot stuff or whatever, and I can scan stuff to learn about it.
That's fine. That's all I really want.
That's a noble passion.
That's a pretty rare type.
Well, if any of these games did actually exist,
the place they would get announced is possibly at Jeff Keely's E3 Coliseum.
What is this?
So basically, Jeff Keely is putting together what it seems to be a moving and shaking
a series of panels, almost like a talk show thing going on at E3.
I don't like that descriptor.
And yeah, he's lots of surprises are teased.
It's promising to bring on major panels and major reveals
and people from not just the game world.
My gearbox publishing will be there.
So, Randy, what's up with the lies?
You can ask him that directly.
Oh, man, I don't know.
I was too busy looking at fucking too busy line.
What's the name of the fucking game?
The bad one, Bart.
But the one, the one no one cares about.
Oh, a pair of the shit one.
The one with the porn that he advertises.
Oh, Battleborn.
Oh, my God.
So my joke got its name.
My joke was going to be, oh, sorry.
I don't know about the lies.
I was too busy looking at all this Battleborn or Battleporn, if you would.
But then the new joke is that I can't remember my game, which is about the same.
I was about to call a paragon.
They're like, that's that's that's a completely different game.
Battle, right? No, that game's a big Randy.
Why are you an admin on the porn subreddit for Battleborn?
Because I make most of it because I made the subreddit.
I like what that guy got the tiny head.
So, yeah.
Um, alongside this is once again,
if you have to take a guess about what names are not on this list,
because that's a list of a lot of people.
But who's not there?
Nintendo.
That's because they're skipping E3.
They're not skipping E3.
Nintendo to skip E3 press conference again in 2017.
You mean the same thing that they've done for the last couple of years?
Yes. They'll have a direct.
Yeah, so that will coincide.
Now, didn't they still have only Zelda and something else?
They only had Zelda and a few 3DS games.
Those they did have a presence.
It was just they have not announced what they'll be having on the show floor.
This time they've said they've said, hey, we're going to have Switch Game City 3
because I know you guys who there's more is more.
Well, I don't know.
I guess so like they're not going to do their big press conference
in the front of a live studio audience anymore.
Good. So is it so it's safe to assume
that they're never going to do that again?
Pretty much. I'm I'm told until there's some radical change in their company structure.
I'm sorry. I put it on the docket.
Don't worry. Let's move on.
It just may it may it seem like you're like they're not there.
No presence at E3.
They'll be there. They'll be giving people presents.
Skipping the E3 press conference.
I bet they'll have switches tied to hot ladies again.
That's what I read on the website.
Nintendo's most bizarre gimmick of all.
Slice, Dice and Rice.
We talked about it on a previous podcast.
It's now out.
This is a fighting game that looks really cool.
That has a blade.
Very strong, strong art, visual stylings.
It's got that is very, very for a samurai.
High, heavy contrast character models
and shading and cel shading.
And yeah, this is probably looking like a fisticuffs.
The the the worst part about this game
is that slice, dice and rice is fucking awful.
It's pretty not a good name.
Pretty not a good name.
But it looks awesome.
Looks cool. Yeah.
I assume that like you're guys
a rice farmer or something like that.
I know if there's multiple characters.
Well, I'm assuming the main guy is
and that might explain the name.
Jesus, that fucking weapon board thing.
Shinigami versus Tengu.
Yeah.
Anyway, I mean, I'm just assuming
that rice is in the title for a reason.
Oh, yeah, maybe you're right.
I thought and not just because we're
talking about Japan because I thought I thought that was not
a reason for that actually what the reason is.
It's just Japan.
So we're throwing rice in on the title.
That's where we're at.
That's why it's in.
Slice and Dice has enough of that
that that sort of flavor.
Yeah, so it rhymes.
And it's a it's in a three.
People like threes.
No, I would assume.
Slice and Rice sounds like a cartoony
overhead like battle.
I have to assume there's more behind it.
I hope there is.
Like this should be called way of the Katana.
No, but if you play the game beginning to end
and go through it and there's no reference to rice
anywhere in the game, then refund this game on steam
is what you're saying.
Refund it.
What the fuck?
Anyway, it's got defensive stylings.
I want to see what's going on.
Parry's and cancel.
So we'll find out soon enough, won't we?
I'm sure we will.
Yeah, like like in a few days.
If you want.
Yeah, probably.
OK, I'm down.
Yeah.
The Phantom Desk to remaster has some game play if that's
I don't believe that that'll be canceled.
There's 19 minutes of uncancelled footage,
which means someone held their finger on the button
and they let it go.
They let it go.
You know, I'm sure Liam is happy,
but I have no no desire for this at all.
It's something we've discussed in the past.
So I don't know.
Games I don't know anything about.
This is not salt in the wound,
but it's a different thing that is similar
because it's like, hey, we were going to bring it back
and it was going to be good.
No, we're not.
It's here's an HD remaster.
I guess.
Yeah, but this is not a case if I'd rather have nothing.
No, it's not.
It's it's something new.
I don't know how to describe it.
It's it's a consolation prize.
Yeah, consolation prize.
Well, it's more than HD remaster.
Like they're rebalancing, putting new gameplay and shit.
It's not just like an HD uprise.
Yeah, OK.
That's all I know about it.
It's bizarre.
It's so bizarre.
And it's definitely the most of it that I've watched at a time.
And it's looks bad.
Weird looking game.
Yeah, looks bad.
Isn't anybody from I like super jumping.
So I disagree.
But yeah.
So if if Phantom Dust is something you are into
and care about, you can check out this HD remaster.
There's again, 19 minutes of footage up for you and your perusal.
This looks like a behind the back to Striga.
Yeah, just Striga's.
Yeah, you heard me.
That's and there's a lot more going on.
And Striga has a really good story mode.
Why would you bring it up again?
I don't know.
Striga's always my go to when I when I talk about weird old bullshit.
I go to I go to Evil's.
Yeah.
See, it was too obvious, way too obvious.
It's so bad.
Striga looks like someone tried.
Someone did try.
Yeah, we found out there were systems.
Yeah, there's stuff there.
At the end, I was actually discovering that's upsetting.
Yeah, it's better that it's better that there's nothing there at all.
I don't know.
I don't we're getting we're getting way in there now.
Well, anyway, let's take some questions.
Hey, let's take some questions.
Question.
Oh, guys.
Oh, man, I want to I want to fucking quote something
that you said the other day before Fisticuffs is like,
you guys think we're scraping the bottom of the barrel now.
You have no idea how deep that barrel is.
Every it's the deepest barrel.
There is no end to it.
And I can repeat forever, but no one will actually get it
more because the more they are faster than we can play.
Yeah. And but also like the less the less someone's heard of a thing,
like the more what the fuck is this, the more they go, wow,
they must be getting desperate.
And I'm like, no, so no, your brain just cannot comprehend because
because people think the concept of no beginning and no end.
We never played Dragon Master.
But OK, aside from jokes and like I listed a bunch of shit
that we never know. And I did never I never played eternal champions.
We never played like the Dragon Master or a Shao Shaolin Shaolin,
whatever it's called.
Sure, Marshall Masters, you know, there's a ton of good shit we never played
and bad shit we never played.
There's no bottom of good stuff.
It's not what Matt pointed out.
Like we played like what two Tekken games, one virtual fighter, one dead or alive.
How about this?
The thing you said afterwards.
Two if you think I'm scraping, then what you have to realize is that I'm
reaching past the shit in the barrel to scrape at the bottom and pulling
that way up to the top.
And it's not the barrel is still full with the fish guts.
Well, you're sitting in a chair and there's a conveyor belt
and it's giving you new barrels every time.
It's just like Kong is throwing barrels at you.
Yeah, we we spend.
He's still good at.
We've run from MVC to for years.
Yeah, we've run.
Right.
Oh, full speed.
I'm not playing that.
I'll play Marvel's Capcom one.
It'll happen eventually.
We didn't play any.
It'll be embarrassed for us.
Sorry for Marvel three.
We haven't played any versus games of the Marvel line of the Marvel line.
We played Capcom.
Yeah, and we played.
We played children of the item.
It's not versus games.
Does that count?
It's the first.
It feels like it's not a versus game.
You're right. You're right.
Anyway, anyway, we need more time for Final Fight Revenge
and that fucking weird old timey piece of shit.
What the fuck is that called?
Just saying.
Just saying the live action.
It was in the wartime.
Oh, God, veteran combat.
Oh, God, he knows.
Yeah, I know.
Just don't go throwing around bottom of the barrel
to to sluice when you don't know what you're talking about.
The end of the barrel.
What are people asking us?
And if they were to ask us a question, where would they send it?
Super best friendcast at gmail.com.
That's super best friendcast at gmail.com.
OK.
What do we got?
All right, well, we got an answer from Gavin,
who says, hey, ultra prime comrades.
Gavin here last week on the podcast.
Well, two weeks ago, technically.
You talked about the Maximals and Predacons
and why they're so much smaller than the Autobots
and Decepticons.
The reasoning is that at some point
between the end of the Autobot Decepticon war
and the Beast Wars, the Cybertronian race
saw that their bodies consumed too much energon to maintain,
so they scaled their bodies down to conserve resources.
And that's why not every single episode of Beast Wars
is we've got to go get some energon cubes.
This is why Beast Wars Megatron refers to Optimus Prime
as an energon guzzler.
Yeah, my question is, has there ever been a situation where
you know somebody would like something you,
something if they knew what it was about,
but you don't want to spoil anything for them?
Sorry?
OK, this is just unrelated to the transformers.
I have no idea what that question means.
It's kind of confusing.
Can you read it back to me again?
Have you ever?
Or understand if there has ever been a situation
where you know somebody would like something
if they knew what it was, but you have to spoil it for them?
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, there's been tons of that situation.
Yeah, in fact, you've answered this already, actually.
Near is a good one.
Anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
But you can't.
But yeah, that explains the transformer stuff.
Totally.
Thank you.
Mind is the question.
That's thanks for the explanation there.
We've got one coming in from Astral, and he says,
there's Ibes.
I like that.
I was talking to someone about why American dubs have
trouble pronouncing Japanese names.
Some of it.
Persona 5's really bad.
But that's because they were instructed to say it that way.
They're clearly being told over and over to say it wrong,
which is baffling.
Kamashite-kun.
Sakomoto.
Yeah, Sakomoto.
Takamaki.
It's really deliberate.
It's very deliberate, yeah.
No, because even if you were someone who,
if I gave it to my mom, she would read Takamiki.
You wouldn't assume Takamiki.
That's a weird anglicization of it.
But anyway, I was, yeah, but it does.
So some of it comes down to accents and making certain
sounds indistinguishable.
I got to wonder, does this affect Canadians?
Here's a simple test.
Do moral and oral rhyme?
Of course they do.
I just said them.
Moral and oral, yeah.
Moral and oral.
OK.
I guess some people might say those words differently.
I bet some parts of America, they say moral.
They say moral.
That doesn't mean it.
I know, but I can't think of any other words to say.
They say more, more.
Nothing.
There's even a fucking show called Moral Oral.
Moral Oral.
Yeah.
OK.
My Canadian accent is a bit odd.
Inconsistent.
Watch too much American TV.
All right.
Oleg says, hear voices I hear while I'm grinding.
I'm currently reading that.
That's pretty good.
Terry Pratchett's Discworld, including the wonderful series
about City Watch, in the first book of the sub-series.
They openly state that most of the other stories, main characters, would be nothing but minor
episodic characters and background canon fodder for the plot.
In the story told from their perspective, they're shown to be reasonably capable on
their own when it even came down to the worst comic relief couple of characters that they
stood their ground and performed their duties.
It's said several times that they may not be typical fantasy heroes, but the guards
are still trained professionals.
So here's my question.
Do you have any favorite examples of typically non-heroic, regular Joe characters or organizations
who are shown to be actually capable in their duty and not just there to call for a hero?
I like Gordon Freeman a lot.
I like that he's some nerdy scientist boy who just picks up a gun and just fucking goes
because that suit is more good than you'd think.
If our examples can include real life, there's that video I saw a week or two ago where this
bank robber runs into a bank and the old security guard is just hanging out talking
to one of the things and he's one of those guys that he's like he's been doing this
for like...
No one's ever going to rob this fucking bank.
It's probably the last 25, 30 years he's been hanging out on his corner talking to
them whatever, dude runs in and within like seconds he switches into guard mode, pulls
out dispatch, one, two, dudes down, all right back to normal.
It's kind of nuts.
Safe, huh?
And it was just like, here's this friendly guy that was just, oh yeah that's Rob over
there.
He's just he gets the coffee.
Can you give me a second?
Yeah.
Murders a fucking bad person and then just goes back in and it's like yeah that's why
he's trained.
That shit's fucking ridiculously cool and respectable when you can just go into that.
It makes me think of, I don't know what game or movie or thing it was but I feel like there
was something I was watching where someone lived a sheltered life where everyone they
ever knew was actually secretly in service and protecting them and then like the beginning
of the story is everything goes wrong and even that...
Yeah, it's a German show.
No, no, no, it was one of those things where like even that dopey friend that like can't
get anything right fucking pulls out the guns and goes seriously like to town on defending
you when the actual threat shows up but I just pretend to be a dumb guy.
You know, it's a, I like when you have that, you know?
Even if someone's goofing.
I like how...
I mean, there's a serious...
I like how when it came to step up to the plate Jar Jar was able to enact like sweeping
political reform.
And not at all coerced into doing it.
Not at all.
No.
Usually in a Godzilla movie there's a pilot that's like you killed my father in that last
attack and it's my destiny to kill you or there's a scientist that was at the head of
everything and knows everything but in Shin Godzilla it's just one random young politician
that's just very low in the cabinet and it's like he's the only one that just kind of goes
this is stupid.
You guys are so old.
Why are you bumbling around like this?
We should probably do this maybe and like he's just, he's not like the, he's not the
prime minister.
He's not like the head of the military.
He's just a random underling that just has this kind of, this situation just happens
and he's like, he's just able to get his plan across and convince a few people that like
maybe we should try this or as like, you know, most protagonists in Godzilla movie like
though that the fucking martial arts guys in final wars or they're like, we're mutants.
We have the greatest fight in the world.
It's hard to, I am the Kaiser.
You know?
Right, right.
And the Shin Godzilla has like that one kind of like offbeat like sort of nobody that kind
of steps up to the plate.
There's definitely some cool like Gundam stuff as well where like you're kind of just like
goofy characters like that's the serious one.
That's the wild guy and whatever they all they can barely get along.
What the fuck war.
Okay.
Time to get serious.
We're doing our jobs.
Camille is a man's name and I'm a man.
Fucking Camille.
She's that stupid.
Toss that mother fucker off a cliff.
I hate that guy.
You're limping on crushes, crushes off the fucking cliff you go you blonde mother fucker.
You're supposed to hate them.
Oh boy.
All right, B says pretend no girls are listening.
Got it.
Big fan.
That's not true.
Thank you for the hours of entertainment and great insight into some awesome games, especially
Bug Island or Big Island.
It's Bug Island.
It can only be Bug Island.
It can't be Bug Island.
I really like that LP a lot.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
I have a part question I'm hoping you can answer as if no girls are listening to require
any lip service.
Got it.
Answer honestly.
Oh boy.
What's your primary female protagonist?
Which primary female protagonist in any game do you dislike the most for any reason other
than game mechanics?
That's interesting.
You mean a type or a specific one that we've seen?
I can't stand who can't you stand?
I don't like Lara in the new fucking new Lara Croft.
I like her.
I can't stand her weird thematic flip flopping.
It's fucking weird.
The deer versus killing 80 men thing is definitely a bad thing.
It's so weird.
But she's more believable as a human being.
Yes, I agree.
Like ridiculous.
She's not the worst by any means because old Lara Croft was like James Bond invincible.
Like bad Bayonetta, you know, almost.
I don't say at least the trope of like overbearing, like religious mom that hates like anyone
going out on their own and like being a rebel or whatever, like, oh, don't you go out there
and do that.
Primary female protagonist.
Sorry.
Primary female protagonist.
Okay.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm just going on a random trope.
I dislike.
You know who I don't like?
Yeah, I'll think of a character.
I don't like Kazumi from Dead or Alive.
I think she's hot though, man.
I think she's a yawn personified human being.
I like there she is.
And I like almost every other girl more.
I can't believe how drab and dull she is for a main character.
And it feels almost like this is the polite, nice protagonist that has to kind of be vanilla
and everyone else is allowed to be a little bit more flavorful because this one can be
older and this one can be rude.
But I think Kazumi is a boring ass character.
And the fact that she's a main character, I'm just like, fuck it, yawn for non gameplay
reasons.
I'm going through a list, but that's not even Patriot.
That's just I'm going through a maximum disinterest.
She's a main character.
I'm going through a list and I'm trying to find somebody worse than the person who popped
into my head while you were saying that.
Because you were describing like she has to be nice and polite and vanilla.
There is no one that I can't stand more than Yuna.
Yuna is a fucking doormat.
And I hate it.
Well, even in F, not in F2.
Can't talk about two.
She's got more going on.
I'm talking about 10.
Okay.
Okay.
She's a fucking doormat and I can't stand it.
A lot of them are though.
And I can't stand the way she talks because I can't stand the way.
I feel like you got to have that conversation alongside Rinoa and alongside Eris.
Rinoa and Eris are fine.
I like Eris a lot and Rinoa is fine.
Rinoa is a fucking dumb teenage girl and you know what?
In that story, that's totally fine.
But fucking Yuna and her the way it's the way she talks.
Particularly in English.
And Garnet.
Where she's super just like, yes, I will.
Like the super soft, like I fucked that.
That's terrible.
I hate her.
I can't stand it.
No, that particular impression you just made is like, yeah, it makes her, it's almost
like, I know they're going for hyper polite, but it doesn't work in English.
Yes, for sure.
It almost feels like you're a little slow on the uptake, you know, like, I will do it.
It's really weird.
Terrible.
You're not wrong.
Garnet's fine, I guess.
I don't feel strongly one way or the other about Garnet.
I like Rinoa better than Garnet probably.
But that attitude standing next to like, I can't, I gotta tell Waka.
Yeah, it's like, it's fucking, it's great.
That's pretty on point.
It's great when you put the two together, you know.
I have to solemnly do my duty and not talk to anybody.
Like fuck off.
There's two characters.
But Kazumi is basically the same problem.
Yeah, but she's hot.
That doesn't really matter.
CG, anime face 3D, like it doesn't even, hot doesn't mean anything.
Yeah, but if the ugly people don't look ugly in anime, they just look not perfect.
Like I don't view the DOE characters as characters.
I view them as eye candy and like.
Yeah, but there's other characters that are more interesting than Kazumi.
They're all like all of them.
Like Tina Southern, like Russell is less interesting or the same as they're all
they're all just different wank fuel for different tastes.
Sure, but then there's one wank fuel that just stands there.
Yeah, that's for some people, I guess, compared to Vanessa from Virtua Fighter
or even like La Mari Posa or something like that, you know, pairing Virtua Fighter.
I'm just because it's the same franchise.
God damn it.
I saw it coming so far away.
I couldn't stop it.
No, yeah, you didn't.
OK, for me, there's two characters in Tales of Legendia, which is the one that was
after around after Symphonia.
There's one girl named Chloe Valens.
You can see her there.
Well, mm hmm.
Lemmel, Lemmel from fucking Star Ocean for three, four, four.
Stars and four fucking nappy time with edgy bullshit.
Yeah, Chloe is like, we have to tell the king right away.
We can't know, don't know, don't know.
We have to tell the king.
It's our honor.
It's our duty, the entire game and your entire, you know, 50 hour game.
It's just this party hates.
It's the one R.B.G.
I played this party hates everyone in the party gets along.
And then they have the other girls to try to like be a difference.
There's Norma, who is like, I am a treasure hunter, and she's just as annoying
in the opposite way where it's like, no, let's not like go on the adventure.
So let's just get money.
And then it's just like no one wants to do the quest to the quest.
So the entire that just sounds like an unlikable group.
It is. Well, the main guy is at least a little bit cool.
And there's like another guy later.
That's kind of cool.
But like Chloe, I just remember like all the tales, all the tales of games
that I played, I haven't played a lot of them anymore.
But all the ones that I played to completion back then, I just remember
like Chloe specifically step step standing out where I'm like, shut up.
Just stop. Why do you have to do this to me?
It was really rough.
I loved all the girls and I know this is different, but I love all the girls
and the last story. Yeah.
Well, I was thinking when you were describing those attitudes,
so let's just go get the money.
I was like, well, there's that one girl in last story, which is always drunk.
Yeah, but that's fine. She's fine.
Yeah, I forgot her name, but she's fine.
Yeah, I don't like a good drunk.
I don't in Persona 5. That character is terrible.
Well, and the second part is which
pre-mail protagonist do you identify? Oh, my God, oh, my God.
I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm so sorry.
I forgot. I forgot that lightning exists.
Oh, I forgot that, too.
Oh, I literally just forgot that lightning exists.
All right. I get into my horrible woman's stable.
I thought you were going to go somewhere else with that completely.
Well, I thought you were going to say Max Cawfield.
Oh, you didn't play the game.
That's true.
OK, that life is strange.
Yeah. Yeah, lightning. OK.
All right. All right.
Well, I I'm all right.
I guess they hated the girl ahead of the board.
I want to thank I want to thank Richard on Twitter
for fucking letting me know that I'm a big idiot and that I totally fucking forgot.
Now, the opposite of that in what female
protagonist in any game that I identify with the most.
That's equally difficult.
Faith from Arizona. There you go.
Yeah, I wish.
Wait, did I identify that you identify?
Yeah, not just because I'm like, I can't I can't be faith.
Faith is the one hundred percent opposite of me.
But you dressed up like her once. Yeah.
Did I? Yeah. When?
Don't you remember that cosplay as faith once?
I didn't. You didn't know.
Is that a dream I had?
I would go as I'd go as a runner, but I wouldn't go as well.
You I never did it. Never did it.
Oh, that was a dream.
Because then I have to spend the tattoo that's a temporary and that sucks.
So no, no, I didn't.
Must have been art that I drew.
Hmm. Can I say red from transistor?
Because I, too, like to hum to myself and sing songs when no one's around.
OK, I like kind of his attitude and fucking near.
But I don't know who. Yeah, I like Lulu.
Yeah, you are. You identify with you.
Identify with you identify with.
Use belts as a bra as well on Lulu. Yeah.
Yeah. Are you what you do?
What a relatable character you identify them?
Identify. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, positive identification.
All right. Thank you.
Yes. Try to think of like grumpy female characters and have a trouble.
Who's really grumpy?
I don't know. Thanks, B. Grumpy is weird.
Yeah.
Um.
OK. Any other questions?
Yeah, I think we can maybe do one more.
OK, let's do one more. OK, you found a good one.
Thank God.
They're some best friends.
You get one moment from your memory to put into video format.
What do you pick machine hire you ready?
That's gone forever. You're right.
Because if someone would see that, it would be a zillion viewer.
Like it would be a zillion views on YouTube.
OK, dude.
OK, well, I'm just I'm framing it in my head
where the camera is in a place where all four corner,
like every four, every border is just seated students.
OK, well, you can't see a door and you can't see a bottom.
I never said it.
It was a giant audit.
Yeah, I know where sound carries.
Yeah. So I'm picturing the shot where like it's like a bleacher shot
of a baseball game where there's nothing outside of the frame,
but just people for infinity and one man standing up.
One boy, a thousand people in that school.
One boy.
One. What are you thinking?
Like the fucking he's standing in the field of Honoji Academy or
and he's and he does it in the way that like light eats that chip.
Like he's determined that you have the like I stood hands on the seat
and then the push and then the.
Oh, like it's a fucking great moment.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I'm glad you find it so human.
That's a good one. Matt had there were there were like loud lines
at the edge of the frame when you shouted.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was fucking sound effects of of manga on a matapia coming off of you.
And then there was and then after those words are uttered,
it's just silence and you will hear I applaud you turning the most embarrassing
moment of your life into like a me into a strength.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would have to be that.
So kind of that's the that's the one even though it makes no sense.
But you bet.
I don't know, man.
Most probably some creepy sex thing.
Yeah, nothing I can really talk about.
Right. I'm not.
I'm like, I'm stalling, but like, no, I know exactly which one.
Yeah. And that's not something I'm going to know.
I'm not bringing that out.
That was a good one.
I'll say.
That was a really good one.
We're talking about.
Let's be clear.
We're talking about different events.
We're talking about different events.
I will say one that works for both of you.
Yeah. Your conversation when you're walking outside at night
and Willie tries to break a bottle.
I was not there. Yeah.
I was not there.
So you were there.
I was there.
Yes.
Because he threatened to slash you with the bottle and was unable to me that you
wanted to slash in a bunch of memories that you say you can't even say.
I think that one's as good as you're going to get.
That's.
You know what I'd want?
I'd want the time that you.
Oh, God, was it both of you guys or was it Willie and somebody else?
But I know Willie were there and there was a bunch of fucking near
duels on a street corner.
I made fun of one of them because he was in a wheelchair and he looked real
like tough and you were afraid that they were going to kill me.
So you drag me down the street like you stupid, stupid mother fuck.
He had a broken leg or some shit.
And I was like, man, you look real fucking tough and gangster.
And you just look at me like, what is wrong with you?
Why are you like this?
Why are you like this?
Yeah. Yeah.
Rocket.
Hey, shut up.
I'm secretly the sweetest one of them all.
It's not a secret.
All right, what's coming in?
And it's not sure what's coming up.
And you are a little furry, rodent.
Oh, come on.
It was also great.
A triangle.
A triangle snout creature.
What is coming up?
What's coming up?
We got more LAWR.
We got more the Yakuza's.
Lots more of the Yakuza's.
And I accidentally recorded like fucking two extra weeks of Yakuza without
noticing it's two weeks.
We had more night in the woods upcoming as well.
We got a Fisticuffs on Friday.
Matt, you're streaming on Tuesday.
What are you streaming?
I'm streaming Killer Inkstang.
This casual matches on Tuesday at 8 p.m.
Are you going to be fighting against the randoms?
I'm making a room or something.
I abstain from looking at all of the fatalities that have been released
like on video for the last month.
So I haven't seen any of them.
So I want to see that.
You're edging yourself with the fatalities.
OK, OK.
That's over at Matthew McMussles.
Yes.
Woolies versus stuff going to come back more now that because I saw your output
dropped a little bit.
Well, yeah, because you're fucking moving.
And we streamed on Saturday.
So, you know, that took.
Oh, what are those archives going over that?
That should go out this week.
Yeah, as soon as possible.
Honestly, I just have to grab.
We have no intention of having those streams being locked to.
No, no, no, no, it just just hasn't been done yet.
But yeah, that was a good fucking stream.
Yeah, those are going up as soon as I can.
And yeah, that Tuesday I'm going to have more stuff coming
because I have some good ideas.
Fantastic.
And yeah, I'm going to going to see if I can do a better job voicing May,
I suppose, instead of possibly making people think it's disinterest.
Oh, I think the problem is that you didn't.
Did you say that's what you were doing?
No, I just kind of I didn't know I didn't.
I don't we started early.
Why are you such a bad voice actor?
We started the LP and like I didn't know it was going to become a woolly
and Matt like read the roles.
I didn't tell you we were doing that, but I told you like two weeks
before we had started.
I guess I just went it's an LP.
We'll just talk and read and talk and read and whatever.
But it's more of a like voice acting characters.
Because the problem is that I find a lot of people always say like sometimes
I'll turn on your LPs and do other shit.
So if we're not reading, then no one can hear what's going on.
So I just started reading the main thing I heard.
I was in here the other day and I was like, no, why do you hate this game?
So much shitty voice actor.
That's not what was supposed to happen.
So hopefully that once you're all moved in.
Yeah, you'll get your shit back up together going on.
That's going on.
I'm going to stream throughout the week, probably on Wednesday.
I don't know what you're out of game ideas.
You're just picking straight up doing the thing where I'm like,
what do you guys want to see?
And then you read the suggestions.
You're like, I don't want to do any of that shit, any of it.
That'll be over to Twitch Angers, Pat.
And now it is.
Yeah, give me give me more bad ideas.
Well, I mean, look, the idea of the crowdsource is that the ocean is a bad idea.
And then eventually one beacon of a buoy rolls over and you go, that's
and then Raquel Wells turns right kind of bad.
And then Raquel Wells turns to the pope and goes, those aren't buoys.
Oh, that's a Wopa.
That's beyond your time.
Yeah, a little bit.
Well, it's actually from.
Right.
So it's yeah.
Hey, so we're going to finish off this podcast.
But if you beat near automata, don't go anywhere.
And you can listen to an hour and a half spoiler cast with me and Limey fuck
Mr. Clamps that should be playing after the music.
How do you want to do this?
Dio, take it away.
Hey, everybody, welcome to Pat hijacking the podcast to have
his limey fuck guests on to talk about bullshit.
Unfortunately, hey, shut up.
I'm doing what I'm doing.
Fortunately, Matt and Woolly are going to be taking quite a long time
to get to near automata or auto made or automata.
And I wanted to do a spoiler cast now.
So I have actually gone abroad to find foreign scabs to do a spoiler cast with me.
And with that, I present to you a friend of mine that I have recently made on the
Internet, Mr. Clamps.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, Mr. Clamps.
Hey, it's great to be here in the studio.
Well, where do you make videos?
And what kind of videos do you make?
I make videos in my house.
I mean, I mean, I meant plug your social idiot shit, jackass.
I make I make videos on Mr.
Clamps on YouTube, or you can just type in Clamps and you'll find my videos there.
I do videos on on niche pieces of shit.
Like Dragon God.
Nobody's ever played.
Yeah, my baby.
Or Dragon's Raccoon, depending on which one you prefer.
Yeah, things like Dragon God and near and stuff like that.
Like those weird little gems.
I also do JRPGs, I think, are legitimately good, like Legend of the Gaia.
Oh, dude, you're the only you and my girlfriend are the only people
that I have ever spoken to that actually like Legend of the Gaia.
I love that fucking.
Man, it's the best game.
It's so goddamn good.
I know when I made the video.
No, it's not good, but I really like what I really, really like it.
But I'm not going to say it's good.
It's super formulaic.
It's great.
We talking about game moves for the.
Yeah. Inputs on the.
You do this.
You do the same thing in like, was it was a new game itself?
I say new. It's called like Lisa.
That game's like six years old.
It's new compared to Legend of the Gaia.
Yeah, absolutely.
I saw a legend.
I just got added to the fucking PlayStation two list on PS4.
I've never played it, but I heard it's trash.
It's it's it's.
I know we're we're going into Legend of the Gaia lore at the moment.
But who, boy, it's I.
It it is not the game I wanted it to be.
So first of all, it's like Legend of the Gaia and a parallel universe.
So there aren't there aren't any fun things like capturing Seru.
Oh, no, my friend.
But you get you get although they do have enemy stands,
which is kind of interesting.
But that was like the whole thing.
Yes, I imagine Legend of the Gaia without the fun.
Yeah, exactly.
Man, like I didn't you just recently played a jade cocoon?
Oh, my God, Jesus Christ.
So so that's going to be the next video, man.
It's supposed to be the near spoiler cast, but fucking tell me about.
OK, so Jade cocoon, right?
This is going to be the next video that's coming out.
I don't want to date the the podcast, but we're having this interview
on the 7th of May, 2017, the day there we go.
Perfect. Yes.
So Jade cocoon was this game I played
frequently, frequently, brilliant, frequently as a kid.
I played it religiously on a demo disc
and I fell in love with like the whole monster hunting aspect of it.
I played that exact same demo disc.
Yeah, it was great.
And so like I found it in a in a shop one day and I was like,
oh, mom, you got to get me this shit.
And, you know, because I was a I was a good little boy.
She bought me it.
And and I played it again recently.
And it is it is an old nineties JRPG.
All right. And it's things I can think about remembering
about the things that amaze me when I was a kid about it,
where the bizarre setting was really appealing.
And yes, it was one of the first non square RPGs
that use pre-rendered backgrounds.
I was way into it.
It's really interesting because it has a lot of it
that like they clearly put a lot of work and effort into.
Like the first of all, the pre-rendered backgrounds are just like
there's so many of them.
It's it's all of like forests.
Yeah. So it's like, geez, the the monster hunting
and monster merging is is borderline like crazy.
How many combinations you can do.
But after playing the game, there is there's so many plot
inconsistencies that go on that it makes me want to puke.
It makes me want a problem that I was expecting you to describe.
Oh, my God, I get so angry in my video.
I'm like, what are we doing?
It's so annoying.
Well, then what's one that I can say here without like
without denying your video precious, precious views.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
OK, so at the very beginning of the game,
there's there's this old this old like this old lady called Mother
Garay and she's talking about like Halverra, like they, you know,
you trap the monsters, the little cocoons.
But there's also these things called black cocoons
and they're not very good.
You just stay away from them.
Yeah, they're never brought up ever again ever in the entire game ever.
So there's that.
And then there's also the fact that the very beginning of the game,
your your girlfriend, Mabu, she's like she has this
search because she's like purifying all of your cocoons for you.
She gets this like disease called cursed brandings.
Never once brought up again ever.
It's just a thing.
OK.
And it's brought up to be this big fucking deal.
It's like.
Clamps, let me cut you off there.
Let me cut you off there and say to the viewer at home,
the near spoiler cast for near Otamata, near original
and all the Dragon Guard games that tie into this
are going to be happening right now because I have a fantastic segway.
And the fantastic segway is speaking of things that are never brought up again.
What the fuck is up with Eve's tattoo?
What the only good fucking shit is the deal
with the tattoo of the watchers on that motherfucker's chest
that is not brought up a single fucking time ever,
even though it is just right there.
It's right there.
It's the fucking simple.
I can answer this very simply because Taro answered it in a recent interview.
He did.
It's not going to be exciting, my friend.
Oh, oh, is it?
I know. Oh, don't you fucking dare sit there and tell me
that it's just a symbol that he found in a book while reaching
the enemy.
That's totally fucking it, isn't it?
OK, you're so close.
You're so fucking close.
I think it was Adam who found it.
Oh, wow.
And and he told and he was like, yeah, this is this is some ancient symbol
that was like really important for like that the humans did in the past.
So I want you to like adopt it on yourself.
And it's something like that.
Yeah, yeah. And because Eve was like he has this big fucking boner brother
for his brother, he's like, I'll do it for you, baby.
And then just like and then yeah.
And like, so that that really that boy that ticks me off.
OK, so before I when people hear that, they're going to go, wow,
did Clem's not like automata? No, no, no, completely.
That's not the point.
I like the automata a lot.
I heard I kind of.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah. No, I'm kidding.
I love it. I absolutely love the game.
It's a high quality video game.
It's really good. Yeah.
But at the same time, Taro, my my boy, my favorite ever director,
he sure has a lot of fucking annoyances to him.
He so after I've gone through just two of his games, I've only gone through
near and I've only gone through near automata, right?
Uh huh.
He has what I would call highly specific
eccentricities in that. Yes.
I see the same tricks repeated,
like the same exact tricks repeated over and over.
And because they are not popular in general,
they still pack a huge punch. Yes.
But if you play or know about a couple of his games,
they do lose a slight modicum of impact because they are not
totally unforeseeable and probably the biggest one for me.
The biggest two is multiple endings that lead to different places.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Is exceedingly novel, but not for him.
And the other one is that the final encounter is actually
a stripped down mini game of some kind.
Yeah, which, which automata got rid of?
Oh, no, you're wrong.
Fuck. I'm sorry.
I'm wrong. Sorry. No.
Oh, God. Damn it.
It's the exact same. Yeah, it does it.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
Sorry. I completely forgot about ending you dumb shit.
Clamps. Jesus Christ.
Oh, you're supposed to be the expert, bro.
Yeah. The podcast is over.
Turn it. Switch it off.
And I can't help but feel that a lot of the impact on that stuff is kind of.
Like, how do I put this?
I'm trapped in this tough place in which I got so much extra value
from automata, having played near in particular.
Near is clearly the most important one to this.
Like Dragon Guard and all that is there.
They're tangentially related, but like there's an actual through line
and and knowing about Dragon Guard.
But at the same time, I wish this one was the first one
that I had played really because
well, I would have missed out on the increased context.
But I'm sure out on the increased novelty.
Sure. Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And I don't know.
Automata is such a strange thing for me because
I don't want to say like, you know, like as somebody who's been a fan
for this, because I don't sound like I'm being
because a lot of the a lot of people who are fans of Dragon Guard,
they come across as a bit hipster.
Oh, is that because they're crazy and they like games
that have terrible gameplay?
Is that why?
Like me.
But it's it's the kind of thing where I know that that's one thing
actually I've got to bring up is when people there are people who
who are really being really smug right now.
And they're like, oh, if you haven't if you haven't played
Dragon Guard before before before playing near or near at all.
I don't know what to say to you.
It's like, why would you want to?
Don't get me wrong.
I think I think playing Dragon Guard is a it's an experience in good and bad ways.
The gameplay is nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be.
It's a bit of a meme, I think.
Oh, absolutely.
Um, yeah, but it's pretty typical, like average PS2 hack and slash.
It's totally average.
So when people are like, ah, the gameplay is trash.
It's like, no, not really.
It's I can play it and I have more fun with it than like most other games I play.
So it's like, well, the main problem is that it's track like the quality
differential in between what you're playing for, which is in particularly
in the older ones, the plot and what you're actually doing.
The quality jump jump between those is bizarre.
Oh, yeah.
It's off-putting and I'm not personally a big fan of playing like going through
a rough part and having like a cutscene as a reward, which is why I kind of
were set those games.
Sure.
I mean, that that makes sense.
Um, I think the whole reason I wanted to do the Dragon Guard videos, which, uh,
and I know a lot of people are like, I know, because when I'm when you were
first like giving me a little shout out on Twitter, it was like, you know,
go check out his Dragon Guard stuff.
Funnily enough, that was around the time when I was like, I really want
to remake those videos because, yeah, because they don't get me wrong.
Like, um, I still super appreciate it, but I feel like, because I was
still trying to like find out.
No, no, no, it's, are you kidding me?
Like it's probably the, the most help ever.
Um, but essentially I rewatch those videos now and I'm like, I like the
information I get across, but my God, I come across as such a fucking
try hard as far as comedy goes.
Of course you do.
You're a YouTuber.
Yeah, it's true, but I was, I was trying too hard to make it like to kind
of elongate the sketches and they come across as a bit cringy to me at least.
And like, I think that the one that held up the best, I'm not sure which one it
is, but it's your description of Emile's alien war.
In which I, I, I like those near videos.
Don't get me wrong.
Like, um, yeah, is like eight seconds long.
Yeah, yeah, it's my favorite one.
I was really happy with that bit.
Um, I did that like almost, um, on an impulse.
I thought obviously funny.
So me, my, uh, my, my girlfriend is actually the camera lady.
Oh, if anyone's wondering who's behind the camera, it's, it's her.
She's always been there just kind of helping me out behind the scenes.
Um, we're like, yeah, we'll do this.
This will be funny.
I think that tends to be like the, uh, the full stop is, I think, and then
we just, we put things together and see if it works.
Um, but, but yeah, with the whole, I guess I wanted to do the
draken guard videos because I, I, I hear people all the time going, wow, I
really like near, but what's draken guard about?
What's, you know, what's it all about?
And people are constantly asking the questions.
Similar feeling in which, uh, Liam told me that, or it wasn't
on Liam actually, I had her, I had briefly touched on it some, somewhere
before we did the near LP and it was like, somebody just off hand
mentioned to me when I was talking about near, I don't know about this game.
It's like, you know, that's a sequel to a weird fucking
draken guard ending where they blow up Tokyo and went, what are you kidding me?
Yeah, yeah, and I went and looked up like just that ending, right?
That was the first thing I had ever seen of draken guard.
And I went, whoa, that's a weird fucking ending for what I thought
that game was.
It's really creepy.
Let me, let me go look at, at footage.
I'm not playing that.
Right.
And you don't want to do the rhythm game.
It's such shit.
And I, I like, I heard two wasn't, wasn't quite as good.
And I was, I'm just, I forgot how I'm from this, this is many ages ago.
Right.
And I felt like weirdly trapped in that, like, I want to know more, but
the access to that is somewhat denied by my own stubbornness or my show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I was left lamenting, like, and it's weird because the, like my
lament, my big, like, oh, this sucks happened after automata had been announced.
And I knew that like platinum was going to be making it because I can see that
I could have said if before that gun, boy, I sure wish Yoko Taro could work
with a real, a company really good at making action games.
And I couldn't believe it.
I sure do love platinum.
And, but that would be one of those things we'd say in the podcast and we'd
all go, ha, ha, ha, like that'll ever happen though.
I know.
I remember when that was when near automata was first announced.
It, it was the biggest fever dream.
I remember watching E3, you know, kind of a sub tweeting about it on Twitter.
And then all of a sudden you, you see, you know, K.H.
Shio Kabe, the, the, um, OST director, and you see Yoko Taro.
And I go, hang on a minute.
It's just like, what's going on here?
And then you see, you hear that music.
And I remember just staring at the screen in silent disbelief as you see
platinum games, just like, it's a fucking dream.
It's, look, and, and there, there was a similar limit.
There were similar like thing that I, we've all been complaining about forever,
which is like platinum stories, unless they're going for really, really, like,
I think wonderful one-on-one has a good story because it's going from pure
tongue and cheek.
It's classic, like fucking Sentai stuff, right?
Yeah.
But their own stories tend to be really bizarre and pretty weak.
And it's just like, oh boy, wish someone who could write well and make
interesting scenarios, do that and look at this nice little baby they made.
Now it's definitely not perfect.
It's no, no, no, no.
Perfect.
There are, there are way too many long shooting sequence sequences in that game.
I can say this and I can say this completely sincerely.
I, I love Neurotometer, but I'd say my game of the year so far is Persona 5.
Yeah.
I think, yeah, it is.
It has more consistently fun moments.
And I feel like as far as me picking up the game and not wanting to put down
the controller, Persona 5 just, it, it just, like, white to full.
There are some, there are some bits in near that, like,
kind of dragged on for me.
I think that playthrough B or root B, or however you want to call it, is very
weak compared to the root B thing in, in the original near.
I think I was definitely going through Nine S's route thinking, I just
want to get to the, the final endings.
It was, it was really weird.
And like, I get what they're going for.
I really, I really get it and I appreciate it.
But at the same time, and I, I have friends of mine who beat the game and
had a much bigger problem with this.
So you're Miley from the Berry, right?
Nine S's hacking mini game is great.
It's really good.
It's not that great.
The amount of importance and the amount of time associated with it.
And what I mean, what I mean by not that great, I really quite enjoy it.
I think it's a nice, simple way.
And I love the, how the music drops out.
My problem is that it removes some of his combat functionality.
I agree.
Um, it's also annoying when you get used to another character and then you're
used to using your heavy attack.
And then all of a sudden you just start, what the fuck are you doing Nine S?
Oh, I'm hacking.
Well, the goofier thing is that you have to hold the button down.
If you didn't have to hold the button down, then it would actually be a lot
more natural because you would hit trying your heavy attack.
And then he would hack someone instead.
And then you go, oh, okay.
And then you end up hitting them with a big power attack and, you know, what have
you, but I would run into a situation where I'd be, you know, squished
square square triangle and I would just come dead stop in my combo and just stand
there.
I had way too many moments like that.
Like nine s's play style.
I mean, I think I can, I can go as far to say as one of platinum's
bolder choices to have a character where his, where his heavy attack is.
You go into a fucking like, oh, what's the style of it?
Like, I guess it's a rail shooter.
No, that's, oh no, you silly sod.
Clems.
What are you talking about?
It's, it's, it's like, um, kind of bullet hell.
Ask bullet hell adventure thinking like a top down battle zone.
Kind of, yeah, but I, I thought it was, um, I, I think the second I started to
really get into it was where, um, you get to the part where you start like
hacking to the, the main, your, her.
Yeah.
So I was going to bring that up and the thing about it is that you need to
const that gimmick doesn't work unless you've already hacked normally a hundred
times, right?
It would mean nothing to me or you or to anybody else to use the same control
methods to do something novel if we hadn't been doing it the whole fucking
time already.
Oh, for real.
But it's like there are, there is not a variation in those hacking sequences.
Like there are maybe 15 different hacks between harder and easy enemies.
And then there are your boss hacks, which are all more or less unique.
Sure.
But, but like, you know, I'll, I'll hack a guy and I'll, you get decent enough.
You're blowing through them in like half a second or two, you know, one second,
two seconds.
Yeah.
And it's, it's just mindless.
And it kind of loses some of the effect of like hacking.
And it, it reminds me of a, did you ever play Bioshock?
I never actually.
Okay.
So in Bioshock, there is a hacking mechanic and it makes you play pipe mania.
Um, that's pretty cute in which, uh, there is a point on the upper left of the
grid and a point in the bottom right of the grid, usually, and you have to
uncover these plates and move the pipes around to let the water flow to hack it.
Right.
Uh-huh.
And took fucking forever.
It took like a minute and a half to do every single hack in that game.
And near automata fixes that by having to be super, super, super, super fast,
but it still runs into the same problem of it.
It becomes rote.
And it also becomes incredibly easy to break the game with nine S, especially
when you find out the golden rabbit trick.
What's the golden rabbit trick?
Oh, my friend, you haven't done that.
Oh, no, you can get to level 99 in like, in less than, I mean, how much
should I do it in?
Like in four hours.
Um, so basically when you go to, and this is a, for all you, for all you
listeners out there, there's a little, little friendly tip from Clem.
So what you got to do, you've got to go to the amusement park.
This is going to sound like some fucking, you find me one of a truck
kind of show, but this is actually true.
This is actually true.
You go to the amusement park with nine S and you go to the very, um, the place
where you first enter and it has that giant golden rabbit statue, the one
that's like the machine enemy, even though I could never figure out.
Yes.
Yes.
What you have to do is you have to completely wipe out every single
enemy in the area.
I think now it's probably easy just to Google it because, you know, my, my
walkthrough might be a bit flawed.
Um, I think you're meant to hack one of the bigger enemies and like kill
enemies with that, or you can just wipe them all out.
I'm not sure.
I think it worked for me either way.
And then so long as all of the enemies are not there, you continuously
attack that fucking statue, you keep wailing on it.
Even if it's like 15 minutes later, you keep attacking it.
Eventually the statue will wake up and you can lock onto it.
However, if you, it's, it's, uh, it's essentially like a, a secret mini
boss and when you hack into it with nine s, it makes it incredibly
easy because, um, you can hack into it.
You know, as you were saying, so simply that it automatically removes
about three quarters, 15 feet away and the hack is nine instantaneous.
And in the hack time, time doesn't move.
So it can attack you exactly.
So you end up removing about three quarters of its health.
You defeat it.
And I think the first time I did it, I went up by about 10 levels.
There is a, there is a very, very similar exploit in persona five.
The, the reaper trick, right?
The reaper trick, which I used to, uh, I'm not done with P five.
I'm, I'm at like fucking dungeon, I think second or last dungeon, but like,
I, I, I will not, I can't even attack enemies anymore, um, because
Rugey's fucking thing auto pops and it removes all random battles from it.
Ah, you're, you're a Rugey boy.
I am.
Oh, I'm so strong.
I'm so stressed about that.
We'll have to get into that later.
Now it's about near, but yeah, no, I felt that, I felt that while the, the
first hour of playing in nine s was incredibly novel because I adore having
like, Hey, play this sequence from the other character.
And the stuff that you do in the beginning as nine s is awesome because
it's all different.
It's all the other side of what was happening.
It's so interesting.
And it's really depressing that you see a bunch of people who were like, well,
I've done, I've done near automata ending a now.
Guess I'll just put the game down.
It's like, are you, did you see the message?
It tells you, you probably should keep playing the game.
Press start for like a second.
A brand new cutscene start.
I don't want to throw any, I don't want to throw any shade, but there was,
there was a reviewer who was like near automata.
It's pretty, pretty, pretty fucking stinky.
You know, I, I'm, I'm up to ending a now and I won't be touching it again.
Ha, it's like, you haven't even touched like not, you haven't even got halfway through.
I will defend that point of view.
And it's, if you don't like the game all the way up until then, you're still
not going to like the game.
It's, I guess, I guess so.
Five to 10 hours is more than enough to gain someone's attention.
Now that being said, I think that person has terrible fucking taste.
Absolutely.
Sure.
But, but unlike, I don't know if I like this, you, I think you can definitely go,
I fucking hate this within a certain time threshold.
And what bumps me out is that, like, yes, okay, we're going to do the tarot thing.
We're going to re, we're going to, or tarot, I'm not actually sure, but we're
going to, we're going to re, we're going to re-tread the events the last time,
but we're going to re-tread them from a different perspective.
It's a different perspective, which we've spent maybe the past 10 minutes talking
about how I don't think the gameplay is quite as good as the character you were
playing as, and that's a problem.
And it's a different perspective in which the beginning sequence leads you to
believe that you will see wild variances.
And then you realize that those characters almost never split up ever again.
And you basically completely redo everything with one change at the end
with the battle with the, uh, the giant monster in the ocean.
And I, I hated that boss.
And it, like, we're getting, you get, you get a few cutscenes that establish
like something more is going on, you know, the, you know, the bit like the,
the, the, the sepia tones that like flashback cutscenes.
Oh yeah.
I like those bits, but overall, like, I was frankly surprised at how much of
root B was like a complete do over.
It, it did enough where I would consider it just like, it's more just kind of
explaining what Nino nine s was getting up to.
And I'm fine with that because I think as somebody who's played a lot of
Tyros games as I, you know, for a fact, there's more to come and sure enough
when you complete it.
Um, but I, I, I'd also feel if you're, if you were playing this as a new game,
you'd probably just feel like, oh, this is a cute new game plus, you know?
Um, but yeah, it's just, sorry, one's that my fucking screen went dead.
It's, it's, it's a weird problem because like a lot of the games, all the,
all the games, biggest moments happen in its third act.
And it, it, it, it did such a good job at like nailing that being the weakest
and people, the average person that maybe not knowing how his ending shenanigans
could work.
Um, the likelihood that people give up on that is high.
It's really high.
I agree.
I agree completely.
And I think that is such a shame.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, seriously.
I've had a few people say like, you know, I've gotten up to, I'm halfway through
ending B, but I'm really burnt out now.
And it's like, that's a shame.
And, and for me, the way that I played the game, I, I did every single side quest
as it came up.
Geez.
So even I didn't do that.
I spent, uh, I did all of them.
The only one I did not do is the one that requires nine s to have gotten the enemy
data on like 95% of the items in game.
Oh, you did.
Didn't you?
I remember because I was really curious and like how you were just finding the
game.
I was, I was a little bit nervous on it.
Yeah, I did not do that one because that one's like, fuck you, man.
I'm not, I'm not kind of bullshit.
Yeah.
So I did every single side quest as it came up.
And if you do that, the game's pacing becomes super weird because, um, uh, two
B's play through a is crazy long.
It's super, super, super long.
It's like 25 hours long.
Oh, wow.
And then you, then you go through as you're right.
Yeah.
Um, then you go through as nine s and you have very few side quests to clean up.
Um, there's a couple of new ones and that's pretty much it.
Um, and then you get to, and then I guess maybe this was smart when you get to the
third act and you know, and they give you the choice between a two and, um, nine s.
I was desperate to get away from nine s's gameplay style.
I am so with you on that one.
It's, and can, can we talk about a two and how the second you get her is this
just, what a two is this weird thing because you ever, you ever play no more
Harris to I want to.
Okay.
So no, I really do.
I'm going to spoil a very minor aspect of one level design.
Go ahead.
My hair is two.
So no more Harris to target number three or four character named Margaret Moonlight.
And, uh, she is one of the best designs in the game.
She's one of the best fights in the game, but more than anything, she has the best
track in the game.
And it is a, it is a kind of a pop lullaby that she sings to you with
about the fight and it is stellar, stellar, stellar, stellar, stellar.
That boss fight is the best in the game, in my opinion.
And I think, um, Suda thought that as well, but he put it at the end of the
worst level in the game.
And it is a level in which you go to a supermarket and you fight, uh, guys pull
up out of their cars and they get out and you fight them.
And you fight them for what is actually like 15 minutes.
The, and it is a slog.
It is an absolute, yeah, that sounds boring.
And I remember that in some fucking interview after the game came out, he
described that as a bold choice because he put this thing after this thing in a
supermarket.
And what it was supposed to symbolize was like the drudgery of daily life.
Oh, come on.
And then like that kind of shit.
And I get annoyed when Taro does that and Drake and God free when he like, he
pokes fun at hell.
The game is bad.
It's like, don't you do that?
So I, when I started to play as a two and not only does she have all of two
of these moves, she has new ones.
She has, she has an entirely new mechanic that was like, so instead of the top
mechanic is taught to you by a tutorial early and it is clearly a get a
wise input of like flashing your flashlight.
Yeah.
Whereas a two actually gets it as a dedicated mechanic in a way that works
very similar to Jetstream Sam in a, a Revengeance.
And she also gets the no limit mode.
And which I used about like twice.
She also, it's really hard to use properly.
Yeah, it really is.
Every time I used it, I died.
So I stopped you.
Same, same.
She also gets the fucking teleport damage boost on her dash.
And it feels like.
Like nine s is like slow on purpose so that when you play as a two, you
feel like you're driving a race car.
It feels so good.
The second I started dodging with her, I'm like, this is, this is my girl.
Oh, she's so great.
I don't know how I can go back.
Wish she had kept the long hair.
I way prefer that version of her design.
I always, I always put her wig on because I can't, I can't help it.
Not not.
And you like, I mean, well, they will argue all the time about short hair
versus long hair on girls.
Like I much prefer long hair, whatever.
That's not actually what's important.
I felt like it was important distinction between her and to be.
But this is, this is the thing.
I feel the entire reason she had long hair was as a red herring to put
in the trailers.
Yeah, I am positive.
That was the case because there are some stuff they did a great job.
I saw and I was like, I remember watching those trailers and being like, man,
that trailer is a big spoiler.
And then I beat the game and I go back and watch them.
I was like, well, no, they totally tricked me.
It's, it's fantastic.
Like the way they, they did it so that when you watch the trailer, it just looks
like two bees looking a little bit dirty.
But no, no, no, my friend, no, you know, can we, can we just, can we just drop
it? Oh, you know, we're in spoiler town here.
So in the main podcast tomorrow, I'm going to be very explicit and be like,
don't listen to the next part of the podcast.
If you don't want to get fucking spoiled on this shit,
but please follow Mr.
Clems anyway.
Oh yeah.
That's very cool.
I guess.
Whatever.
Stop it.
Stop right now.
I mean, anyway, so yeah, no, drop it.
So when to be dies, when to be bites the goddamn dust and
when that happened, I wasn't shocked.
No, I, I was like, I knew, I knew somebody was going to die.
I wish it wasn't to be.
Yes.
But, you know, yeah, it broke my, my little tin heart.
But then when you start playing A2, it's like, you know what?
She's, she's living on insider.
It's fine.
Torch got passed kind of thing.
Oh, but, but Pat, my friend, there's.
So you remember when I said I had some juicy news for you about
some of the stuff that Taro said.
All right.
Yeah.
I don't remember when there was a.
She maybe should drop it now.
Yeah, drop it now.
OK, so this, this may be segueing a little bit from what we were talking about.
But basically Taro has released a new.
He's released a new novella for Automata, first of all.
It hardly relates to what I was, what I'm going to be talking about.
But the novella to very quickly summarise it.
I'll be bringing up all of these in my, my future analysis,
which for anybody listening who watches my content already
will not be happening for quite a while, simply because.
Said to take a while to put those videos out.
Not only that, but Taro is also being a cheeky boy
and he is releasing brand new automata law like every couple of months.
So it's like, I don't know whether I want to make this analysis.
And then a week later, Taro is like, by the way, all of that.
The half of the game.
It's like, why did you say that A2 was a robot?
When exactly Taro said yesterday that she was a cyborg?
I mean, I have people in the comments.
God bless him.
You know, no shade towards them, but it's like people are like,
what it's already been two months, plumps.
Where's your near analysis?
Where's your near automata analysis?
And I'm like, oh, sweetie,
we need your hot take, man.
I guess that's that's what my review is for.
I think I give a very, very good opinion on in my review
as far as like what I thought about the game.
So if you want to, you know, if you look a bit thirsty for what I think,
you can go back and rewatch that.
But so to go back on the novella.
It is about nine s and to be revisiting the
the temple from there.
That seems important.
Seems like it isn't.
It's not as it sounds important, but I think it's only because like,
I'd remember this place.
Well, there you go here.
This is in the eyes of to be and you know that she's to be by now,
you know, the yes.
So she is kind of, I think she's thinking internally about how she's going
to be killing nine s because, you know, I think that canonically,
I can't be too sure, but I think she's killed nine s around seven times.
I think so anyway, it could be more.
If I'm wrong, then please correct me.
I know some of you will.
So but basically they're going through the temple and eventually
I think nine s like clicks on to the fact that to be is acting suspicious.
So they end up, they end up fighting and sure enough,
it ends with to be killing nine s.
And the whole point of the novella is to simply understand how to be
his mind works when she's going through her execution,
like kind of around executor there.
Can't even say the word her executioner mindset, right?
Fair enough, substandard novella.
It's fine.
Um, but then Taro decides to to drop a big,
a big juicy ball on us and go, well, there's going to be a near
automated concert coming out soon, right?
I remember I was talking about that.
The amount of story changing shit that is in this near
concert is fucking insane.
And I'm do you mind if I if I do a quick shout out to another
near content creator who is very talented?
Okay, there's a there's an absolute sweetheart called Pixie Valkyrie.
I'm sure a few of you have, have, like, seen her in my recommended,
like, when you click on it, she, she does very nice, relaxing kind of recaps
and she goes into the characters and everything like that.
So if you're a little bit thirsty for some, for some more near
content, while I'm kind of waiting for Taro to drop all of his shit,
then go check her out.
But basically, I think, I think she covered something about automata.
And I'm thinking about a lot of the, a lot of the near content creators
is that it's insane how quick your work can change.
The second Taro decides to drop something big like this was a weird
situation in which one person is in charge of all cannon.
Exactly.
Like he only recently came out and remember the bit in the game
where it has the the the God coming out of the volcano.
Yes, I do remember that.
It was that it's BP is.
Oh, I guess right.
Yeah, it's BP.
It's BP.
Yeah, he he's yeah, yeah, yeah, it's BP.
He says in I think he said in the interview, somebody asked him,
what is that large thing that comes out of the volcano?
And he goes, read the fire of Prometheus.
It's like, right, it's BP then.
Well, I shouldn't say it's BP.
It is the hive mind previously known as but yeah, BP.
Oh, yeah, yeah, the fucking weird fucking separate robot thing.
So so that's a thing.
So for anybody curious, that is that that has been tied up.
It's been so that's what it was.
Um, I would like to say something about your guitar, and particularly
in terms of the concert and the novella and the stuff you're talking.
Go ahead, go ahead.
I resent his work output.
I I absolutely as a as a English speaker.
Sure, I fucking resent the the situation he has given to the average player
as to as to the realistic impossibility of knowing what the deal is with most of this stuff.
It is.
It's he's such he's such a cunt.
I love him so much.
And he's so funny.
I resent him for a second reason in regards to his work output.
And that is about I forget when it happens.
But I think it's when you start to play as a two, you can go and read about what
I believe to be half of the stage play.
Yes, you can stage play to fill in some of the gaps for a two and then the story.
That's right.
And it is terrible.
It is awful.
Oh, my God.
If now put yourself in my shoes, your lips of it in some of your videos.
And it looks like a fucking dog shit.
It's gonna say put yourself in my shoes.
Put yourself in the shoes of a little British baby boy.
You have to sit down and you have to watch this.
No, sorry, I shouldn't say watch.
You have to read the script of this.
OK, Yoko Taro is very good at writing video game scripts.
He's not good at writing stage plays.
It's weird.
I would I would think that writing a game would be harder.
It there are some moments in it.
And this is one thing that I find really interesting as well.
And this is something which I'm going to be.
It's going to be a theme of this spoiler cast and it's going to be a theme
of my future analysis is that Yoko Taro's games are all tied up.
They all link with one thing in particular, and that is flowers.
Yes, those flowers tell a lot, telling a lie.
Actually, no, no, no, no, no, it would technically link into Dragon Guard one.
Yes, it technically would.
Because of the seeds of fucking resurrection or whatever.
Exactly, yeah.
And the fact of it, oh, my God, I think, oh, wow,
they call the seeds of resurrection because they come from the watches
which were born from the fucking black lotus.
Oh, my God, but yeah, basically,
if you read the stage player, you know,
oh, and this is another thing as well.
Oh, God, fuck, they're all fucking named after fucking flowers.
Damn it. They are.
They are all named after flowers. Correct.
That's probably the cringiest shit of the whole fucking thing.
So bad, dude.
And there's also the the lunar tear as well, which is also a flower.
And this is this is all information which was passed on to me by
by my friend Lexi, who
who actually knows the sleepy cabin members who I think you guys know.
So she's a super sweetheart and she's also an incredibly big near fanatic.
So me and her, we kind of we have these like around the campfire moments
where we have a fucking tinfoil hats on.
Me and Wally used to have those similar kinds of conversations
back when Metal Gear was still ongoing.
Yeah, I fucking love it.
We would sit down and go, OK, in this scene,
who was controlling Ocelot?
Was it Ocelot?
Was it his mind control or was it Liquid's ghost in the arm?
OK, which was we have stuff like that.
And we have moments where all of our conversations are just in capital letters.
It's just constantly what the fuck.
But, yeah, so, first of all, everything is linked by by flowers.
And obviously, there's like the lunatic and stuff like that.
So that's that's one thing how, you know, all of the stage play people
in the name of like Rose and everything like that.
So that's one thing that a lot of people miss.
But, you know, as soon as you mentioned that people are going to go,
oh, don't poplar and devil wear flowers in their hair.
They do. Yes, they they sure do.
And a fun fact, devil and poplar are actually named after a dracon guard one.
They're named after is actually is technically an Easter egg for dracon guard one.
They're named after a dracon guard one weapon called devil a poplar.
Like all one word.
So that's a little tip.
Oh, yeah, they were in fucking their fucking way flowers in their fucking hair.
I'm looking at the.
And I fucking hate their new hair so much.
It looks like it's funny because it's fucking Japanese models.
They look like they look like Barbie dolls.
Stupid. And in a way, I was like, I was like,
oh, they look like dolls.
And I was like, hang on a minute. That's the point. Well, yeah.
I like their hair so much better.
Oh, that's right. That's what I was going to say.
OK, so in the stage play,
there is a character called number two.
And number two throughout the entire story, she has the now some of the androids,
they're all kind of I guess they're all kind of prototype Yora. Yeah.
And there's like number two, number 14, they're all kind of spread numbers.
And they all have memories or personalities
installed into them to give them like an attachment to human beings.
That's all androids really are because obviously we have the the cause of machines
in them who were continuously trapped in this this loop in the Yoraha units.
Anyway, yeah, yeah, in the Yoraha units.
So the Yoraha units, they also have these kind of machine cores in them and everything.
This is important to something I'm going to be mentioning later.
I don't know why I went on to that.
That's kind of gone off.
But whatever, basically they have these emotions installed into them.
And number two has the personnel or she has the memories
of a happy girl spending the day with her grandmother.
Oh, shut up.
Now, number two is it would later turn out is a two.
Yes.
A two has the memories of a younger Kaine.
Yeah.
That would explain the enormous amount of personality.
If you want, you know, so when people are like,
guys, is are we going to see any returning characters from there?
Well, technically, you got you got you got the memories
of Kaine inside this this Android.
And so that's that's interesting.
You got the sequel to Devil on Popola as it were.
Yeah, Popola and Devil or Electric Boogaloo.
I absolutely don't love the storyline.
So so that's really interesting about number two being a two.
When I when I first like figured it out, it's like, oh, my God.
And then this is the bit which the concert
just slapped me across the face with this shit.
Now, if you're if you if you listen to the number,
you're going to be like, oh, fuck,
there was another your high unit made called number nine.
And number nine is the overarching villain of near automata.
Wait, what?
Exactly. OK.
Number nine is an Android that was created by a
I think the little machine girls, the red dress.
Oh, oh, how wrong you are.
No, shut up.
Don't change the film on the after the game came out.
I beat the game.
I mean, don't get me wrong, they are villains.
However, it was all set in motion by number nine.
So number nine was created by I think the inventor.
I should know. No, no, no, I can't. I can't say.
I think he was the inventor of the your high units called Zinnia.
Again, a flower.
And now Zinnia are we?
I don't know. I don't know.
It's gender.
So for now, I think I think they mentioned that Zinnia's voice
is the voice of two bees pod.
So I can only assume that he is male gendered.
So let's just I'm going to call him a hymn just because of that.
Let's do it.
So Zinnia created the your high units.
Now, I haven't read this in a couple of days and I was meant to yesterday.
But it slipped my mind to say, this may be I may trip up on a couple of
things. Tell me the thing. Just tell me.
OK, so Zinnia created the your high units.
He he basically did the whole thing where it's like, you know, your your
that there are let me try and get my words right here.
The whole project is, you know, essentially they'll be scrapped and stuff like that.
That's the unfortunate thing is that the your high units are born into this
world to be scrapped just like humans, you know, because I yeah, exactly.
Just like that. Now, number nine, he had a very close
connection to number two, right?
For some reason, number nine just kept following number two around
like a little goddamn puppy dog.
And then one day, number two, she was she was looking around.
She can't find number nine. Where's number nine?
And then she walks into the laboratory and sees
number nine beating the shit out of Zinnia and pretty much killing him.
Yeah.
And turns out that number nine got a little bit too
a little bit too suspicious and went digging and found a they exactly.
Number nine found a back door into Zinnia's research
and found out that the your high units had machine cores put into them.
They're expendable, humanity are no longer here.
So what the fuck is the point in even fighting?
So number nine, he goes fucking Tarot bonkers at this point.
And he does this.
He makes this new thing called the your high project.
And or project your high, I should say, which is the entire purpose,
because I think Zinnia was trying to do something
with the he was trying to like do something related to humanity.
I think I think he was trying to like completely trick people into thinking
that humanity was still alive.
And I think number nine carries that on to an extent.
But he does something.
Oh, my God, this is you're going to have to forgive me because very confusing
right now, Clems. I yeah, I know.
Tell me about it. I are you telling me
that Yoko Taro story may be somewhat opaque?
The the issue is that me and Lexi were talking about this of our tin foil hats on.
Were you drunk? And it is.
Well, I don't know if Lexi was, but I was I was drunk on rage.
I was I was very annoyed because number one, the guy who translated it
tried his best. That's all I'll say. Oh, no.
He tried so fucking hard to make it make sense.
But I think even the translator is like, I don't I'm having difficulties.
Beautiful, do we?
Exactly. So I think to to to.
Number nine essentially created the Yohar project.
He created the fact that the machines will will find a backdoor at some point.
He made the fact that the little girls will will find the fact that humanity
aren't real. He makes this entire continuous loop of androids
fighting machines for the sole purpose of existing.
Why would you fucking model a version of himself only to get murdered?
I think the nine S models were already being made.
I think he was just the prototype.
All right. But then they started to make the two E models,
which were based off the A2 models.
Oh, and that's right. I've got to I've got to say, by the way.
Yeah, exactly.
So I think number two or I'm just going to call her a to fuck it.
We all know a to stabs the original nine S
and nine S at this point is just like, why the fuck do I exist?
Why do I exist? Why do I exist?
He's gone insane by this point.
He can't understand why he was born into this problem with that model.
Yeah, exactly.
And I think they they set up a thing where I even think nine S,
they'd be original nine S, even makes it so that every other two E thing will have to.
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
The nine S original model made it so that to be would continuously kill
his other models. That's right.
Or at least the one model who to be is partnered with.
Because I think the nine S who's partnered with to be
has the original memories of that prototype
number nine installed into him.
And I think he's meant to discover it kind of with the death of to be.
Because I think it's like it's all set in motion.
OK, and that's that's when you get the the weird bits where A2
who's talking to him is like, you've known all along, haven't you?
Yeah, yeah. Mm hmm.
There we go. You did it.
You did it.
I I have railed against the Kingdom Hearts series for this.
Because the Kingdom Hearts series likes to spread its bullshit
across every available platform.
Yeah.
But Tarot's ability to retroactively take your feeling of completeness away
is unparalleled because we're trying.
We're trying really hard to like make a concept
foreign concerts, fucking albums that you can't acquire.
Mm hmm. Period.
We're talking stage plays for no one.
We're talking dozens of books for no one.
I am really trying my best to make this make sense.
But you have to understand that even people out there and there's too much.
Yeah, I am finding it very difficult
to completely understand what has been written.
Number one, because the translation is a little bit the translate,
as I said, the translator tried.
So I am going to try and correct a lot of what I've said,
because I can guarantee you I've messed up on a couple of things in my analysis.
Don't worry, Mr. Clems, if you make any mistakes on this here podcast,
you can just go down to watch Mr. Clems on YouTube
and he'll have a video up eventually where he corrects his mistakes.
Make a few new ones.
So then you'll have to watch.
Hey, oh, do you mean like the time when I said the fucking red eye was kind?
Remember that bang? That was bad.
Even I was like, that seems wrong.
Right. I couldn't believe it.
I'm so disappointed in my eye was, you know, you get that feeling
that flash through your body and like official.
It sure isn't.
I thought now I was told by multiple people that like, oh, yeah, it's fine.
It's kind of don't trust people.
Yeah, don't fucking try.
And after that, yeah, I'm just going to I'm just going to do my own
my own research 100 percent from now on.
So, you know, I went back and I corrected it.
However, there is still a lot of things which are linking the fact
that kind most probably or at least the shell of kind was probably the first red
eye. There are a lot of things which hinting towards it,
but that's another story for another time.
Um, so, yeah.
And then there's there's another thing in the concert as well, Pat.
Now, now this happens after the final ending.
Are you sure? Stop doing that.
Stop it. I hate that.
Do you remember how the ending was happy?
Yeah, it was awful even.
No, no longer.
A2 is dead.
OK, why? She will no longer turn on.
Um, it's just a thing.
A2 is she was recovered from the wreckage.
And the extra doesn't turn on anymore.
You've almost you you've kind of predicted what's going to be.
Actually, I don't even think they found her.
But you kind of hit the nail on the head.
What happens to another character to be wakes up?
I think she wakes up after a long time and she wakes up next to 9S.
And essentially what she tries to do is she's trying to like
I think she's trying to find something
because she's trying to find something in the wreckage of the tower
and she's furiously digging to the point where her fingers are bleeding
and everything and the pods like yo, to be chill out.
You know, if you keep on over exerting yourself
when you've just woken up, then you are going to stop working.
And to be like, no, no, no, I've got to wake up 9S.
I've got to wake up 9S.
Like, I just know I have to.
And she eventually she finds something or she does something to
wake up 9S, you know, she starts to like hack into him.
But 9S, obviously, because he's a hacker,
he he recognizes this in his unconscious state
like when he's about to be booted up
and he chooses not to be turned back on.
And I don't think he knows who's trying to turn him back on.
But essentially, there's a message, I think, left
in case to be happened to do this, I think.
And it's basically saying like, I would rather never work again
so long as I can keep these memories.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, because I think he thinks that when he's woken up again,
he will lose every memory.
That's not the case.
If he's woken up again, he'll have all of his memories.
So that's that sucks.
So basically the to be just to be get to be alive at the end, though.
To be lives. OK, cool.
She's the best one, so.
But she ends up fucking crying her eyes out
as the the pods say to each other,
well, looks like the cycle isn't broken after all.
Well, but like she can go hang out with Pascal, I guess.
I was thinking that.
It's like, yeah, Pascal's cool.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
And he also added in more things to the TV.
God damn it.
No, actually, Pascal gets a relatively happy ending.
Pascal eventually makes like treaties with with other robot factions.
And he also makes like a complete peace treaty with the the other androids.
And I think he goes like further.
And you know how, like in Grimoire, near it has like the,
you know, two thousand and three, the grotesque refills from the sky.
Two thousand and five, this year happens.
It's kind of like that.
It's like Pascal, he he remade the village and he makes peace treaties.
He essentially gets the happiest ending out of all of them.
And then, yeah, I agree.
But then as the as the years go on, I think this is really cool.
Actually, the the very final bit to this documentation is
the robots end up having like wars between each other.
So I think it's like the.
Yeah, the very first documentation of a machine civil war.
And I'm like, that's great.
I like that. That's that is a fine ending.
Pascal Pascal gets to live.
We, to be, is left a emotion, a fucking, you know, a motion full wreck.
I guess her ass is so big.
Oh, my God.
Pat, I wanted to sit on my face and crush her.
All right, that's enough.
Stop. Stop.
Just look at it for a second and then look away.
It's like the sun.
I can't help it.
I'm like Icarus.
So I got to say it like
because we got to get away from this
theory crafting for a second and finish the actual talk of the game's flow.
That third fucking route, man, goes.
It fucking goes and doesn't stop.
Everything from, hey, Pascal, maybe passivism doesn't always work
to nine s losing his fucking shit.
To my God, the nine s thing was brilliant to the God box,
to the fucking just everything in that fucking route is fantastic.
What did you think when nine s lost his shit?
Oh, dude, I was so excited.
So ready with one.
I don't know.
There's a couple of things that bug me about it, but.
The having parts of that final boss fight
or second penultimate boss fight of nine s versus a to be denied to me
because my character was slightly too strong.
Sucked the Easter egg hack of like being inside the games menu.
I was going to see it because my character was like level 260.
It was level 60, 60 away, sure.
I'm sending you a fucking image in this word.
You'll probably appreciate it.
I don't know if you've seen it.
That's great.
That's exactly what happens.
It's fucking nine s being a dipshit and fucking put the sword in the wheel
and the sword go fucking eight to it's so crazy how we get to that ending.
And we have a character who is a fucking huge bitch.
Like a to is a cut straight up.
She's a she sure is. Right.
And she is standing there like being reasonable.
It's like, dude, dude, we have to we have to not do this.
Do it. This cannot continue.
Do we do we really have to do this right now?
Can you not just chill for a second and Mr.
nine s cool, calm, collected that you spent the whole fucking game with
and you have watched his like
pretty decently paced descent into madness, just going like, no, shut up.
You're horrible.
And it's like, oh, so I'm choosing between a character that I care about,
but who's a who is now totally lost in as a problem
or a character that I know very little about overall
by in comparison, but who actually knows what the fuck they're doing.
Yeah.
And I feel like both of those and both of the endings
to that fight are very satisfactory.
I thought the bit when nine s was tripping up on his blood.
That's the first point in the game where I actually went
because they even add in the sound of like
slipping up on like a slippery surface and it's so fucking real.
It's real bad.
I was like, ah, shit.
And it's it's something that I got to thinking about the Yoraha units.
A lot of it. And it's
something you don't see with a lot of the other android designs.
Right. And that is why are the Yoraha units in particular
so absurdly attractive?
Why do they even have blood?
Oh, Taro answered this.
Yeah.
He did.
Very simply put.
I think Zinnia wanted them to be beautiful
because he wanted to be like he wanted them to be like the peak
of what humanity could be. OK, that makes sense.
Yeah. And he also. Oh, sorry, go on.
It's more of me to like the blood is actually more of a factor of like
why do they even have clothes?
Why do they even have?
Well, they probably don't have organs as we said.
But like why are these fucking robots bleeding?
Is it so that they feel more distant from their fucking machine enemies?
He answered this, too. Oh, he did.
And it's fairly simple and I can I can accept it is the androids have
they have something which is essentially like machine oil,
but it's it's colored red simply to imitate humans.
OK. Every single thing from clothing to blood.
Taro even mentioned that we're going into the anatomy of the androids
here that Taro said it androids are originally born without genitals.
However, the the sole fact is that if they want to,
they can actually grow like synthetic genitals.
They can produce a liquid that resembles human semen,
but is essentially just like what interview was this?
That I can do is after the podcast, I'll find the exact.
I Taro must have been thinking about it when he was writing.
He said, people are going to ask me this shit, you know, actually,
I think he was basically a bunch of people were like,
so do androids have like organs?
Do they have like sex?
And the main reason why I can see people asking that question is
because in one of the sequences when 9S is hacking,
he sees the message of your thinking about how much you want to fuck to be,
don't you? And that makes no fucking sense
if they're all sexless robots.
I've heard a theory that it isn't actually fuck.
It's actually kill.
Oh, come on, though.
Yeah, I think that'd be really cool.
Come on, that's that. Come on.
You know, I I like the idea of both of them being true.
He wants to fucking kill it, which is like I like the idea
that it would be ambiguous and you could even have this discussion.
That's why it's blacked out instead of just being just right there.
Yeah, that's that's true.
Speaking of it, can we talk about Adam and Eve for a second?
Yeah, let's talk about the fishy bros.
Yeah, Mr. Mr. Mr. and Mr.
underused. Oh, boy, they exist purely to throw you off
in the trailers for who the true bad is.
They exist purely for me to to fancy them.
That's all they exist for.
Hey, man, do we really got to wear shirts?
Nah, yeah.
I like to look at their banter.
Their banter was really fun.
That banter is out of this.
It's it's a ton of fun.
Yeah, it's probably the most on the nose thing in the entire game.
Yeah, it's really good.
The the the fucking at Eve gets born out of Adam's rib
and he's reading a book and he's eating a fucking apple.
And he's talking about how why we have to like fucking hide
her nakedness because it like I get it.
I fucking get it.
I kind of like how they they they brought up like the the thing
where it's like, isn't isn't Eva girl's name?
He's like, you listen to you.
Eve is a great name.
And he's like, OK, OK, I guess it's cute.
I like it. Now click flex your perfect, perfect muscles.
Oh, my God, bless him.
So this is so I got a.
So before we get into what I think is the core theme, right?
Like that credits ending is super strong.
It's really good.
That's the best version of that trick.
Meme or trope, I'd ever want, I'd say, of like some of the earlier
like I can't think of RPGs, right?
That's like everybody come together.
Well, you know, unite.
We'll all use the power of friendship or whatever to.
Yeah. Yeah.
And as as hope is the name is that sounds like it's always pretty affected.
The that this hides that from you for so long
and that it is people and something that they actually had to give up.
To to do it.
It's beautiful.
The exceedingly competent score and the vocal mixing.
Like, did you hear that?
You know, when everybody's voices started to chime in?
Yes.
Did you hear that?
That was all of the people who were working on your automata?
Yeah. And your guitar was in there as well.
It's so fucking sweet.
I love that.
And it's the song I'm singing to you as you murder them, basically.
I love that.
I really feel like and this is another thing as well.
Is that I was nervous going into this game that Platinum Games would.
Now, I know that Taro was directing it, but I was a bit worried that I mean,
I wouldn't have a huge issue if we went into it.
And it was like balls on the wall, crazy and like a goofy way.
So in a way, almost like Drake and Guard for you done right.
But I was so happy to see that Platinum
have given us the best possible genuine sequel to near.
Oh, absolutely.
It would have been very easy for Platinum, I assume, to go with their typical
action formula, which is a good deal, harder.
And I don't mean harder in terms of difficulty.
I mean, like they go harder into the action than usual.
Sure, with with with most of their games.
And this one, they dialed it back quite a bit.
They really did.
It's a simpler game.
And the action is enjoyable.
It's loose.
It's fast, but most of the time it's invisible.
It feels kind of like the older near as well.
Like it feels like this is a sequel to near.
Like it has all of the things that polished and polished and polished and polished.
It's what near I don't want to say should have been.
But I feel like and no, no, it is what near should have been. Absolutely.
Here's my issue with that, right?
I a lot of people are going, I really want to see a near remake.
I disagree like because no, no, I don't want to see.
One of my favorite bits in there is the bit where Kaine is talking to a meal
and she does that moment with her hand and she gently brushes it
against a meal's face and everything.
And she's, you know, she's being incredibly affectionate.
I don't know if they can rewrite.
They can replicate that.
I think that is a kind of absurd worry.
Given enough time, I could reanimate that scene.
Like that's what I'd like to think.
Like I'm certain that even Square Enix like kept the rigs for those animatics.
Yeah, I would not.
That seems odd, like the people over
Platinum can can animate a cutscene just as well as caviar.
Don't get me wrong, like I love for that to be the case.
But here I am a fan of bad games.
I want my bad games to be bad.
Yeah, I thought you were weird.
No, I would more like to see a Draconguard remake
if I were even Draconguard 4 made by Platinum.
I'd love that.
Boy, was I disappointed in three, man.
Draconguard 3 was trash.
Because like I was like, OK, here's my chance to get in on this crazy.
Oh, my God, this is terrible.
It's as soon as I boot it up the game,
because I remember thinking like it can't be as bad as people were saying.
The framerate can't be this bad.
Now, Draconguard 3 has a few moments to me
that I would call memorable in a good way.
The final route I'd say is a solid tarot story.
But then again, you have to play through this slog of shit to get to that route.
So I'd recommend not playing it.
But God, the second you start slashing
and the blood coming on the screen, it's like I can see what you're going for.
But I really want to disable this as soon as possible.
And the second Mikhail starts blasting fire everywhere
and the framerate dips below four.
It's like, my God.
It's bad.
Bad.
The only thing the only thing I liked about that game
technically is one of the things that you brought out in one of your videos.
And it was the in toner mode, bringing in vocals to the tracks.
That was amazing, which that really was good.
Automata, like automata's use of that technique
is so expertly done that it didn't like validates it in three.
In that you have your standard track
and then you have your back track with vocals on it, hiding,
hiding in the background for the moment.
And then you have the chiptune version of both of those arrangements.
How does that blue in a way?
Just in case, just in case 9S starts to hack something.
Platinum really like I think they they push the envelope
with their music technology in Revengeance,
where the music was always perfectly timed
to power ballad when you needed it to power ballad.
Yeah. And this is the absolute perfect
natural conclusion of that.
Yeah, the the composer from near and his style
works, it seems to work really well with this kind of idea.
Did you did you hear that Yoko Taro always gets pissed off
when he's like when he hears people go like, ah, you know,
the near game was a bit bit bland, but you know, that music, though,
he's like, like, I wish people would talk about my game.
The music is more consistently high quality.
It really is. It's so good.
If they said the writing, then yes, we would be, you know, sure.
Yeah, yeah. But the game overall.
The music's a fucking A plus.
It is. The game's a B minus with qualifiers.
Two OK emoji signs from me.
Thank you very much. It's the one where I was.
Oh, my God, I was about to do it.
Like I was about to show you like your hands.
Yeah. I was like, oh, it's this.
Oh, hang on. Oh, my God.
So I was three in the morning.
So we've already like way over gone white.
Our estimates for time. Oh, Jesus, we really have.
So I'm going to try and start wrapping this up a little bit.
That's OK. Sure.
How do you how do you feel about you get all the way to the end of the game?
You've done all these events, you've fought all these.
But and particularly with the red the red girls turning on each other.
And like I felt like there's there's obviously a really overt theme
of what does it mean to be human, right?
Because like every no one is human in this game.
And they're all imitating humans in their own way.
And 9S is particular as a character says the androids are more human
than the robots and then only to start loses fucking shit when he finds
that that distinction is completely meaningless, completely meaningless.
It's like it's worse than meaningless.
It's like the reverse of what he thought in some cases.
And what's fantastic is that like the fact that they have machine
cores mean that that they are the exact same machines that they that
they're going to continuously repeat the same shit over and over and over again.
And that's so that's the really obvious theme.
And I felt that there was also a more I don't know, nihilistic theme
at the end of it, which may be more appropriate considering where
that story supposedly goes afterwards.
And that is that like it is the irony of all these different
synthetic life forms desperately trying to imitate us.
But we suck and yes, constantly make these horrific mistakes and that
like human centrism itself, like every character in that game practices
human centrism as their primary philosophy.
And they're wrong to do so because if they were able to just stop
doing that, all of their problems would go away.
Yeah.
God, I love it.
I love it.
I love it so much.
But as we were saying earlier, the game is not it's not a solid diamond.
It's like a it's a little floor diamond.
I think two of the bosses in particular are fucking trash.
Which ones are those?
The ones that look like a random robot that I can't remember or the other one?
I can actually be quite specific here.
I'm talking about robot in the water.
I thought that was boring and incredibly easy to fight it twice.
Oh, you sure do.
And it's just this is good.
This is good.
Why did you do this?
Oh, it's a non-threatening weirdo design.
And I remember getting up to that boss and I was so angry.
I went on to Twitter and I was like, well, I found my first problem.
This is bad.
And the other one is the very first boss you fight with a to the balls.
You know, I like I like having lasers just just get you out of nowhere.
And you have to continuously mash the goddamn dodge button.
It's like this is great fun.
I'm having a swell time.
I had a genuine I had a genuine flaw.
Like if I was going to like throw over at the part of the point where we say
the flaws because like I like nearly everything about this game in particular.
I agree.
Like how valuable the side content was to the overall experience.
It's something like the fucking
a man and woman who run away from home only to that fucking side.
Is that hurt me?
That got worse than most of the stuff in the main story.
Oh, it makes me feel sick.
There's something.
Yeah, no, there's something bad in your chest that just goes.
Oh, my human agency, right?
But their slavish design
consistency with the machines really started to get old by the end of the game.
Yeah.
The the core design of nearly every single machine life form
varies almost nothing but between its sizes.
They all have they all have the email face.
They all have the same kinds of proportions.
And if you get to a certain size,
which is anything bigger than the big tall guys,
they become either like squares or cubes
with. Yeah, I was wishing I was.
And it's with the one exception being the worst design in the entire game,
being the big like Salamander guy.
Yeah.
I was I was wishing for something with with blood in it.
You know, apart from the boars and the and the moose or the elk, whatever,
I just wanted something, something organic with a bit of a bit of life in it.
Because don't get me wrong, the machines are the fun little guys.
You know, I like their designs.
They're nice and simple.
However, as you said, they get
it's like I just want to fight something a bit.
Just a bit different.
I give give them like like horns or anything.
I know I know there are ones in the forest who wear the armor,
but it's like even that isn't any different.
Like change their physicality.
You can be so inventive with it.
You can create like
just machines that look like goddamn mechs if you want to.
But but they they they really choose not to.
And it's like I don't know.
I kind of I like the idea of the fact that when the machines were first made,
they didn't look anything like they did.
But when the aliens started to fight a meal, they were like,
we need to recreate it or like, yeah, we need to make it.
I like that. That's cool.
I also appreciate how the aliens are just like fucking
like 1950s fucking tentacle like Simpsons characters.
Like they are the most goofy looking fucking dead aliens.
I laughed out loud when I got up to that bit
because all I was thinking was wow,
I really undersold this bit in my near analysis.
I was like, oh, there's one bit where he fights aliens.
But this is an important.
No, it's actually the most important thing.
Yeah, it's like, are you fucking off a fuck's sake?
Like, thank God, thank God, I didn't ignore it.
I was
midly seconds away from cutting like the meal, fighting the aliens
bit out of the video until I made that live action bit work.
Right.
So thank God I did that.
Otherwise, it would have been a shit show.
All right, man, we've been going for an hour and a half.
I want to ask you if you had to give like one big last thought.
Oh, you know what? Here's to your last thought.
How do you think of that DLC?
Because when they announced that DLC, I had just beaten the game
and deleted my saves and no desire to ever go back to that game
and ever again, because I felt it had been completely completed
like in my heart.
How do you feel about them putting that weirdo fourth wall breaking
DLC with weird costumes out like after people have likely done that?
The DLC is is fine as far as DLC goes.
I think the the arena battle, they're interesting because, of course,
Taro puts his own input into it, where all the enemies you fight in the arena
are like begging for you not to kill their mum, who's also in the arena with you.
But of course, you kill everyone.
And it and it, you know, it brings up the fact that the androids who are doing it
are like they're they're kind of showing the the the emotion of of not the emotion
like the act of human cruelness and everything like that.
It's like, OK, I get it.
But what's the most interesting is that they actually incorporate
the the music video done by Amarashi.
What?
Do you remember the the music video that was like accompanying
near automata before it was released?
It had like all of those dolls being crushed by machinery.
No. Oh, it's nothing.
It's not entirely like plot heavy.
Don't worry. It's basically this music video
where there's a bunch of dolls being crushed by machinery.
And at the very end, you get to see this beautifully made to be doll
and just a big fucking machine arm comes down and just about to crush it.
And they cut and they have they have the whole music video
as like a well done for completing the DLC.
Here's a music video you can look up for free weird.
It's really weird, but I'm kind of glad they they included it,
because I think that music video is insanely beautiful.
And I think if you haven't seen it,
you should check it out because the song is really nice as well.
Oh, man, it's not even nearly as late for for me as it is for you.
It's almost four a.m.
Oh, I thank you very much, man, for for for like tagging along
so I could get some of these fucking thoughts out.
That tattoo thing pisses me off.
That is bull.
Oh, don't even get me started again.
I'm going to flip.
Hey, Clems, if people want to watch your videos or follow you somewhere else,
sir, I think you stream on Twitch as well, correct?
I do. Yes.
Um, where?
Tell me, where are those? OK, I'll fire it out.
If you want to follow me, then you can go to YouTube and type in Mr.
Clems or just Clems, you'll find my channel there.
I also stream at Clems, Twitch or lowercase or one word.
And I also have a Twitter, which is just Mr. Clems.
Oh, thank you.
So yeah, I really appreciate you coming down.
Have a great time to the podcast location, and we're totally not doing this over
Discord. What are you talking about?
I'm here in the studio.
I really appreciate it.
I will hopefully we can have you on for a fucking longer,
like live podcast in the future.
But I felt that in this case, there was no way that I'm going to fucking
make it so that, OK, guys, we did the podcast.
Now we'll go sit in the other room for 90 minutes while we get out of the game
that you have yet to play, because he he handles all the fucking back end stuff
and, you know, play the stream after on all that shit.
Yeah. So if he ever gets around to it,
we'll definitely have you back on.
That'd be great. Or maybe we'll have you back on.
I don't know. You seem nice.
Oh, thank you.
So thanks again, Mr. Clems.
Do you have anything else to say before we seal you off?
Because this because you're ending up the podcast now, like sure.
I guess I guess like I can drop something a little bit sappy.
If it wasn't thanks to you and Paige, then my my YouTube channel wouldn't be
kind of doing as well as it is today.
So thank you very much.
I truly appreciate it.
All right. Thanks, man.
We appreciate it. Cool.
There we go. There we go.
Hey, live viewers, download the podcast this week.
You can't get the whole thing just like watching us live.
Yeah. Cool. All right.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
OK, we do the video.
Do this. Matt, take your toys again.
And you'll be gone next week.
Yeah, I'm going on a family trip thing.
So double family, double family trips.
I hope I hope your dads fight because that'd be hilarious.
No, they love each other.
So yeah, but we'll friendly fight them.
Yeah, but dad battle. Yeah.
I'd backroll it. Come on, man.
Don't you don't you want to fucking have the argument with your wife
like my dad could beat up your dad?
No, because they have it out.
You get the real answer.
They're both pretty old and would probably die in a double KO.
OK, that's not as fun as the.
Well, that's in my head.
Well, my girlfriend's dad would win because.
Oh, don't you.
You can't fight.
What's not there?
It would be a ring out.
It would be a time over.
You have made like four or five.
My dad is not around.
Jokes in the past couple of weeks.
Not many other things like it has the pain increased.
No, I just I laughed so hard about it the first time.
It was pretty that I wanted to bring it back.
And this is the second. That's very that's too.
That's strong of you. That's too.
That's very strong of you to use your personal shit as such fuel.
Pain is fuel. Yeah.
Just just just condense it into like almost like a baseball
that you would play catch with your dad with if you could.
All right, let's get out of here.
Thanks for this art out.
Somebody made of you throwing that motherfucker off the roof.
Yeah, that's some that's a murder.
L.A. Noir coming at you.
All right, bye, guys.
Bye listening to this.