Chapo Trap House - 886 - Cabinet Curiosity feat. Alex Nichols (11/18/24)

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

We review the various freaks, toadies, goons, and TV personalities that Trump has tapped to build his second cabinet, and speculate how much damage Vivek & Elon can actually do with their kids-table DOGE advisory board. We also discuss the coalescing view among the pundit class that the Democrats need to abandon their various activist groups, as espoused in today’s reading series by Adam Jentleson. Finally, a new (hopefully semi-regular) feature from Matt.

All I wanna do is hit the drum. All I wanna do is hit the drum. Hello everybody, it's Monday November 18th and me Felix and Alex are with you for today to be talking about, we're talking some chop up and on today's episode we of course will be breaking down the Trump cabinet and the ongoing jockeying over the competing diagnoses over why Kamala Harris lost this election The shorthand for that is all of the all of the consultants lobbyists and staffers who ran this All of the consultants, lobbyists, and staffers who ran this campaign are telling you not to listen to people like them, but not them specifically, just the concept in general.

But before I get to that, I'd like to just remind you that you're going to want to stick around to the end of this episode because we are going to be premiering a new and hopefully recurring feature that I know that you will be very into. So just be on the lookout for that. to stick around to the end of the episode. That's right. We're doing the countdown until Ella M. Hough is finally legal. The reverse countdown. Like I said, stick around, you're not going to want to

miss out on the new segment we're gonna be doing at the end of the show. But before we get into Trump's cabinet or the various post-mortems on the election, I do want to talk about... I talked on this show a number of times about what I regard as kind of the singular images of this presidential campaign and really just like the last four years of American life. We talked about it before, but let's talk about one that just happened that I think is like like a moment of powerful symbolism. And that is, of course, regarding Joe Biden being the first American president to visit the Amazon rainforest. Visit it and then walk into it. Felix and Alex, did you see this clip of just walking into the

jungle? Talk about a vision of a better world. If, you know, if Bernie had won, there would have been a program where we drop all of our blue hairs off into the forest and are like, okay, have fun. That's how we reform entitlements. Felix, you know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of the the very last shot of True Detective season three, where he just like walks into it's a flashback where he just walks into the jungle. He's a lurp now he's a long range patrol. Who's like whose job is it to like go and find him? Like how much wandering around time did they give him? I imagine if like, if Kamala had won, it was it would be like,

okay, you know, give him five minutes, but we can't just let a crocodile eat him. But now it's like, you know, who cares? Like, like, what if he finds the Golden City? The lost city of Z it's it could still be in there People haven't really explored it. They're on contact. Maybe he's gonna join an uncontacted tribe He probably doesn't have communicable diseases because he's still alive at age 87 Like how many like there's no way he has smallpox. Yeah, he the first debate there were like, he's fine. He just had a cold. And that's why it seemed like he was dying.

If he had smallpox, he would be like shooting toxic pus out of his eyeballs. Yeah, he would be a puddle. He would just be one big boobo. puddle. He would just be one big boobo. And I just like like, the setup for where he gave these remarks, it was like the podium was set up. And then there was just literally like, a road leading into the jungle right behind him. And it was just like, it was perfect. It was just set up for him. There was just like he ends the press conference, just follow the road, just follow the road into the jungle.

And the fact that this was happening at the same moment that like in one of his parting shots in his lame duck period as president, he lifted the restriction on Ukraine using long range ballistic missiles to attack inside Russia. So this is great. Just walk into the jungle on your way out the door before the bombs start falling on New York and D.C.

I'm not too worried about that. I mean, like long range ballistic missiles. Ukraine and Russia, that is the difference between like Gary, Indiana and Chicago. Unless Ukraine is going to try to hit the Philippines and bring them into a war. I don't really I'm not really worried about that. You know, which one is Gary? Gary is he is the city that Michael Jackson, the entire Jackson family. Oh, I know what Gary, Indiana is. Freddie Gibbs is. Yeah.

I was just wondering which of those two countries is Gary Indiana? Oh, easily Ukraine. Like easily, yeah. No, Ukraine is- Well that checks out, because they've produced the greatest entertainer of all time, Vladimir Zelensky. Yeah, and like, yeah, Lev Parnas is kind of like

a Freddie Gibbs type. Like sort of, you know, more for the modern age. Yeah, because he does crimes. Yeah. The next thing I wanted to talk about. This is a follow up on a story that we did with Alex a couple weeks back. This comes courtesy of Benny Johnson, who shared this on Twitter, quote, the most chilling moment from dinner with Donald Trump. Last night, I had dinner next to Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago.

After being welcomed to the dining area with thunderous applause, Trump got out his iPad and began to DJ, as he is known to do. The first song Trump played gave the entire club chills. Trump played, Justice for All, a patriotic song he recorded with the J6 prison choir, a group of 20 men imprisoned after the riot at the United States Capitol. The profits from the song are dedicated to the legal aid for the political prisoners incarcerated under the Biden regime. The entire club stood in reverent silence as the haunting

song rung out across the cavernous halls. This was a defined message from President-elect Trump to the January 6 political prisoners. We have not forgotten you. Hold on. Justice is coming. It would be funny if he doesn't pardon them, but just like keeps playing that song. Every day for four years.

Yeah, they can get plays on Spotify. Then they can buy their own freedom. That's how it works. You feel your commissary enough. That's like the top prize on JPEG. That is why Spotify briefly delisted R. Kelly once his trial started. They were like, if he has a good week of streaming, he could just break out of here.

Two things though. First, I love that Benny Johnson was referring to the dining room at Mar-a-Lago as the club. He gave the club chills. But the second thing I want to note about when he says that this was a haunting moment that gave everyone listening chills, Chris, if you could edit in the audio that goes along with this video, please do because this patriotic song by the J6 choir is in fact deeply haunting and bizarre. Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light It sounds like the song that's played during the orgy scene during Eyes Wide Shut.

Like when they like take that Gagarian chant and play it backwards. That's what this song sounds like. Well yeah, like chanting music is one of those things where everyone's like, how hard could that be chanting? I bet I could do it. It's like rap, you know, like back in the 80s, like Rodney Dangerfield and Joe Pesci were like, how hard could rap be?

Well, pretty hard. You know, I used to I used to think, oh, yeah, chanting. That's easy. You just say a bunch of nonsense. Oh, but people could do it in the Middle Ages. Yeah, but they didn't even know about germs. They didn't know how to wipe their asses. Yeah, but then you realize, no, it's there's a lot, you know, going on with it. And chanting is actually pretty hard, because that was the only entertainment they had back then. going on with it and chanting is actually pretty hard because that was the only entertainment they had back then. It's weird they're still doing it when they have iPads. That might be the only song that's only ever been played off an iPad. Like that and like Coco melon.

Because they, I remember they all have tablets, which is childish in that prison. And then Trump's listening to it off an iPad, which is childish as well. Like you don't have a phone. Like why do you need an iPad? If you're an adult, you should have a phone or a computer. It's like they're for, they're for children and for retail places where they put a tip in secretly and you have to tip 50%. That's what those are for.

Please tip the J six choir. If you listen to their song, you should be able to tip prisoners. I bet if you did a breakdown of like, you know, Americans that operate their life off of a tablet, Trump probably won those people by like 80%. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it's like a phone with large print. Yeah, well, yeah, I was gonna say like, that's the appeal of a tablet is like the screen on the phone is too small. But a

computer is too hard. My computer has two screens and both of them are bigger than an iPad. But you can't take the computer with you everywhere you go. Yeah. I just have to think about it. I just have to hold on to the memories when I leave the house. It's like a phantom limb. What I do is I record every good day I have on the computer and I put it in an iCloud and I project

it on the wall while I'm away from my computer. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Well, another fan of computer who's very much linked to the next Trump administration and is also at Mar-a-Lago right now is Elon Musk reportedly says, I'm happy to be the first buddy. And he spent like, you know, he spent all week at Mar-a-Lago. And according to the Daily Beast, Elon Musk is now at uncle status with the Trump family. So Elon Musk has achieved uncle status for the Trump family and will soon to be heading up the Department of Government Efficiency, also known as DOGE.

I think it's going to end like Joe Biden's doges. That's what that makes me think. That's what Joe Biden would call commanders, the first buddy. Like two days before they have him turned into horse food. Elon is like, you know, now officially part of the Trump administration. This is a weird analogy. But it reminds me of these stories that I heard like third hand in Chicago when I was like in high school, of like, people would, my friends would tell me about like, a kid with like Down syndrome, or some other developmental disease would like, get tricked into joining the Latin kings and become so enthusiastic that like they would just randomly

kill a dentist because they thought he was GD. That's kind of what like that's what he is like a political operative. You said **** what about candy? Yeah. Don't you talk **** about candy ever again. Don't talk **** about M&Ms or Skittles. That's what he like as a political entity. That's kind of what he reminds me of. And that's kind of how I think this will end. I know that people say like, Oh, that's cope that they you know, they'll have some huge falling out. But like, the only

guy that Trump, you know, like all the way through the first time was Steve Mnuchin. Yeah, most he's not Steve Mnuchin. Where's he? Yeah, right. I mean, Secretary of the Treasury through the first time was Steve Mnuchin. Elon Musk, he's known as Steve Mnuchin. Where's he? Yeah, right. I mean, Secretary of the Treasury is the one cabinet position they're still considering talent for. That's going to be an interesting one. But why not bring back the Mnuchin and his wife?

He was awesome. I mean, he ended up preventing an invasion of Venezuela. But just back to the the Department of Government Efficiency, I guess the first one I talked about about the the Trump appointments. And this one is like, because it's not really a cabinet position, it's just sort of like a make work job for him and Vivek Rumswami. Like, are they subject to congressional approval? Like, I'm not, I'm not certain about

that. I don't think so. No, that would be that would be like doing congressional approval for like kids who pass the presidential fitness challenge. Which they should do because a lot of people fake it. That would be I would like that. If their knees on the ground, they're not doing full push ups. If like John Kennedy is like you look a little fat to run an eight minute mile.

So yeah, it's him and him and Vivek. And what what what is the purview of the of the Department of Doge? Is it just going to be like meme curation? Or? I mean, I know what the stated purpose is, is that they're going to, I think, essentially, cut all government spending or privatize most public services. But I mean people have pointed this out the fact that it's the Department of Government Efficiency and they put two different idiots in charge of it. Like who is senior here? Is it Elon and Vivek? Whose authority supersedes the other?

It's split in half geographically. It's like the late Roman Empire. There's a Western Emperor and an Eastern Emperor. Yeah. Well, in the Eastern Emperor is going to outlive the Western Emperor. That's going to be a title for centuries to come. I don't know which is which. Where's Vivek from? I'm I know India, but I mean, in America. One of them will be Constantine. That's for sure. This is, I mean, like, I feel like people have totally forgotten the first Trump administration, which is understandable. You know, most of these past eight years, in fact, were kind of like, it all felt like

the same year, basically. But they would do this all the time. Like, you remember Chris Kobach, they were going to have him head up like a voter fraud panel. Oh, Chris Kobach. Man were going to have him head up like a voter fraud panel. Oh, Chris Kobach. Man, I remember that guy. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Where is he now? Well, they don't have to do voter fraud panels anymore because there's no voter fraud. Yeah. Elections are secure. Nobody's cheating. It's all good. It's all out in the open. We're good.

Yeah. A lot of the story of the first Trump administration is like, it was kind of like, I mean, every president kind of does this where like they run on an issue, it becomes their signature issue. And they're like, all right, now that I'm in here, what is the most tried and true way to solve the problem? To create a study commission, to create a panel, a blue ribbon committee. And then it just sort of like, it slowly dies there. And some ambitious freak in the party will take that as a way to like, sort of keep relevant, which is what Vivek is doing.

Elon might actually believe that they're going to completely dismantle the administrative state, which if that happens, that would be pretty fun. It would be pretty bad. But seeing the GDP have overnight would be kind of funny. You have to admit. Well, Vivek has said that his model for the Department of Doge is what Melier has done in Argentina, a country where 50% of the people are now below the poverty line. Argentina, a country where 50% of the people are now below the poverty line? Yeah, I don't know. Like I used to think that there would be like no way that they would actually hollow out the administrative state because it's like the same thing with Roe v. Wade, right? Like

it's one thing to like promise the jug hooters that every year, but actually doing it is opening up a whole can of words. But now the bureaucrats so you can point to them. Exactly. And say, don't you want to get rid of this guy? But now, I mean, again, this is a problem in both the Trump and Biden administration. The fact that they won makes them think that like, none of the electoral problems that their party has had or that they personally have are real. So they could just, it's a vindication of the idea that they can do whatever they want

all the time. That's kind of like the worst thing that could have happened to the Democratic Party was their success in the 2022 midterm because it made them think like, Oh, no, I guess no one thinks this guy's too old and no one hates it. Same thing with Trump like, I think now winning the popular vote by judging by the final count, it would be what? Like 1.5 points, a pretty slim margin, slimmer than Biden in 2020, but still a big deal for a Republican to win the popular vote. They'll think that is also a vindication of everything they want to do. And like maybe now, just like

Roe v. Wade, they will kill the golden goose and no longer have a bureaucracy to get mad at, but also make America and Argentina the only fourth world countries in the world. Well, I mean, the other thing about killing the administrative state and, you know, sort of getting rid of all government corruption is that without a fairly bloated bureaucracy, Elon Musk would not be the richest man in the world. I mean, he is the single largest recipient of U.S. government contracting on the planet. And then he's being put in charge of a new bureau that is going to be in charge of who gets what money that the

government is spending. So it's just going to be like, it's going to be the Musk state. Yeah. Yeah. If you like how your Tesla works, just imagine that Social Security will be administered in a similar fashion. It's what the tariffs are for. It's because he can't compete against Chinese electric vehicles and the other EV manufacturers.

He just wants a carve out so his shitty cars can be on top. Just like his tweets. Yeah, exactly. I think he bought Twitter so he could have his tweets get more faves than Joe Biden. I imagine the Trump foreign policy will largely be based around which countries have lithium that Elon Musk wants. So if you're Venezuela or Olivia. which countries have lithium that Elon Musk wants and you know, so if you're Venezuela or Yeah, which countries have an orb?

So moving on from the Department of Doge, but let's get let's get to some of the the actual appointments here now like the first one that I want to talk to that is probably like when we mentioned this like Felix like There are a couple of these that seem like any Republican administration would have probably gone in this direction. Like for instance, little Marco, it's secretary of state. Yeah. Yeah. Like any. Yeah. Basin paleo con trad deus volt. Yeah. The first day of appointments was like, this is what Jeb Bush's cabinet would have been. Like, it was, you know, no different from what Jeb would have done. Then the second day, it was like, okay, find me everyone in the party whose wife has dated a middle schooler.

I was gonna say, little Marco at Secretary of State and maybe Doug Burgum for Secretary of the Interior Like the the normal the normal appointments, but then you're right like the the second wave of them Was like everyone he's seen on Fox News over the last four years that has pending sexual assault Litigation pending against them and yeah, I suppose I mean, I don't know what you want to talk about first Matt gates or Pete Hegseth He I don't know a lot about Pete Hegseth. I know Pete Hegseth is the day I don't watch Fox News No Fox and Friends on fort now I it's on my net nanny my mom won't let me Oh, she I have to like like rely on my friends telling me what happened. I watched it on my tablet. I the only thing I know about him is he has that day as a tattoo.

And all like G.B. Vance was like, this is ridiculous. Everyone's yelling at him for having a Christian tattoo. And it's like, that is a strategy games tattoo. No Christian guy said that before Crusader Kings came out. Like, fuck off. Like, no. I think they were even saying it during the Crusades. And also, if you're the Secretary of Defense and like, okay, you're a Daesh volt guy, and you're the

Secretary of Defense, then you have a Crusades tattoo, you have a Crusader slogan and Crusades tattoo. Is this is this a preview of how you're going to run your foreign policy because the Crusades were a big L for Christendom. Well, they won a couple of them. They were out of another one. They were there for a while. They were there for a while. It was I consider the Crusades like an issue campaign, like war in 2020.

Maybe they didn't like succeed beyond their wildest ambitions, but they got the issues out there and people were talking about them. And they also are the most importantly there and people were talking about them. And they also, the most importantly, they took care of those disgusting Eastern Orthodox scum apostates. I hate them. It was also, it was historically important for the rise of slavery, like the Atlantic slave trade, like the systems that they created when they were over there because they had the first sugar plantations and they would use like the native slave labor and a lot of those mechanisms were brought to the new world. It was also the, that was sort of the creation of international finance capital as well. The Knights Templar, they were the first international.

Are there any Templars in his cabinet? Are there going to be any Templars? That's what I want to know I mean Pete Hagseth probably has a Templars tattoo. I always think it's funny when like like base Trad guys get Templar tattoos because it's like that is like those were the Klaus Schwab's of you know, a thousand years ago Not a thousand but very long Yeah, they were international bankers. Yeah, they were international bankers. Yeah, they're international bankers.

They were accused of like basically doing pizza gate with each other. That was one of the reasons. Whatever King of France like owed them a bunch of money and just like responded by killing them. He basically said, hey, these guys have freak offs. They basically became Jews. They were the Jews of Christians. They found like a long way around to it, to be killed in the same way for the same reasons.

Because the king owes you a bunch of money and he's like, well, I don't want to pay him back. Why would I pay? Like I could just kill them all. I could just make some shit up and kill them all. When they finally discovered the Temple of Solomon, there was 10,000 bottles of baby oil inside. When you think about it, being Jewish in like the year 1200 is trad. That's like, you know, the tradition you're returning to.

The other things about Pete Hegseth, despite, you know, I mean, other than being on Fox and Friends, on being Fox and Friends is a crusader guy. He settled a sexual assault lawsuit for an undisclosed sum and a non disclosure agreement. And also he was instrumental in the pardoning of Eddie Gallagher, the serial killer Navy SEAL. I mean, I almost feel like having having like a weird sexual assault lawsuit where you, you know, you paid someone $70,000. That's like a requirement to be in leadership now.

Yeah, because you're gonna have to do it again. You want people who already know how to do that. It's not like no one ever goes through that. And it's like, okay, I've learned my lesson. They're like, oh, that's how you get out of this thing I love doing. Yeah, just got to get a big stack of those NDA forms. I also like that Pete Hegseth wrote a book called The War on Warriors. Isn't that all wars? Yeah.

Kind of in the job description. I guess like the war on drugs that's not on warriors. Maybe like the book kind, like the Warriors the book it's like a guy at subway being like I'm so sick of dealing with bread all day he says this is a quote from Pete Hegseth our present moment is much like the 11th century we don't want to fight but like our fellow Christians 1000 years ago we must he writes arm yourself metaphorically intellectually physically our fight is not with guns yet Hmm. I really love the Crusades, but they're not really into putting Christians in the Holy Land

Day is vault for someone else We need to bravely put someone else over there so they can do ways and soda stream for the Christian God. What does it translate to? God something? God wills it. God wills it. But like the kingdoms of Christendom in the Middle Ages, like they didn't need to fight the Crusades. Like when he said like we have to fight like it's the 11th century. I mean like I guess they had to fight it because they needed something to do with all of the you know

people who didn't become uh didn't inherit land you know like this all the second sons and whatnot so I guess it was like they needed to fight it in that regard but so yeah we have a Crusader King as Secretary of Defense. Some other highlights from Pete Hegsett's career. He also is a graduate of Princeton and Harvard. He claimed that he did not wash his hands for 10 years. He claimed in 2019 he hadn't washed his hands in a decade because germs are not a real thing. He cheated on his second wife with a Fox producer.

And that says here, Brian Settler's 2020 book, Hoax, Donald Trump, Fox News and the dangerous distortion of truth recounts that the family values Christian Hegseth cheated on his then wife, Jennifer Roche, a producer at Fox and Friends. Jennifer was favoring Pete with airtime, a network executive told Settler. He kept putting Pete. She kept putting Pete on TV and

He may not wash his hands, but he does sell soap It says here. He has been the pitchman for the grenade soap companies soap Which is indeed shaped like in the form of a throwable explosive boasts a stainless steel rope and has sense which include boasts a stainless steel rope and has scents which include gun smoke, gurka, and patriot made with pine tar. It smells like a gurka? Like what is that? You don't get high on your own supply if you sell soap.

If you don't use the soap because then you'll get addicted to it. You'll end up just going through all the soap on your own. How many UTIs do you think he's given women? Oh God. Like he probably, he probably gives them MRSA UTIs. do you think he's given women? God. Like he probably he probably gives them Mercer UTIs. After he has sex with a woman, their piss probably looks like when you clean out a curry. Yeah.

It looks like cleaning gutters. It's all solids. Just a big slug comes out of it. Sorry. Sorry, there must have been eggs in it. There must have been eggs under my fingernails. There were bug eggs. Sorry. I'm doing this hand washing thing where you do like no wash.

No wash November. It's for the military. I know it's gross now, but when I figure you in a year, I'll actually be killing the slugs in there because of all my antibodies. Yeah, I'm going to get another- I'm going to get like a nematode. It only attacks those slugs. It's sort of the way you guys normalize your pH. Like I normalized like the microbiota under my fingernails. Yeah. In about a year, I'm going to have kudzu growing under my fingernails and that it's just going to, it'll spring into your labia

under my fingernails, and that is just gonna it'll spring into your labia. And it will act as like a natural filtration system for all the frogs and pose that I put in there. That sounds so nice. Like the rainforest. Joe Biden will be walking into Pete Hegseth is asshole. So yeah, that's that's Hegseth. but he's not the only alleged sex criminal to be involved in this administration. Let's talk about Matt Gates. Matt Gates for attorney general. And I got to say, out of all the

appointments, this one is probably, this is the highlight. Because, I mean, it makes perfect sense for Trump because you want someone who is more compromised than you are being the head law enforcement agency heading up the head top law enforcement agency for the federal government. But like yeah Matt Gaetz what a beaut he is. You know obviously there are you know there have been shall we say rumors swirling about him for quite some time now. I have Felix, I know you saw the one that back in 2021 about the the man who was killed in a sort of game of auto erotic asphyxiation that he was engaged in. Yeah, this one was that was very weird. I actually didn't see that the first time around. Shout out to Gumby for Christ for finding that one. So this happened in like

2002 when Gates was in college and apparently Gates was like, they were playing a game that involved the type of auto erotic asphyxiation where you use a plastic bag, which I've never heard of. That's very like low class, I have to say like didn't which is the caradine that died that way. That was David. David Carradine. I mean, he was using a belt like a normal person. Yeah.

Yeah. He was using like a nice probably snakeskin belt tied around his neck. He wasn't using like a CVS bag. It's cool to play the choking game in college. Yeah. Getting that call from like the college administrator. We have some very bad news.

Your son died playing the choking game at age 22. Yeah. My college years were crazy. I actually had to go to rehab because I got addicted to holding my breath and spinning around really fast. Yeah, they put one of those spinny chairs in my dorm and all the next four years were a blur literally. I'm just reading here. This is from like, like an opposition research file that was published. It says here, Gates experienced several drunken homosexual escapades while a student at Florida State

University, and subsequently a member of the Florida House of Representatives. Very high level sources in the Florida Republican Party reported that in late 2002, Gates, who shared an off campus residence in Tallahassee while a senior classman at FSU with three other male students was involved in an accidental death of a house guest, a 29 year old male African American with whom Gates was playing an auto erotic asphyxiation sex game involving a plastic bag over the other man's head and cocaine. Gates was the last person seen leaving the room of the decedent. The decedent's body and surrounding bed area

had cocaine and semen residue. Now my question here is, how do you get the cocaine in someone's face with a plastic bag over it? And I mean, the I guess the obvious answer would be you're putting it up their ass. And then there was like a weird thing with this where like Gates's dad got the body moved to Jacksonville. So like there was a like the official coroner's report was filed in a different county in Florida. How do you do that? Like did his dad like the car his dad like?

Well, yeah, but like his dad, like, go to the crime scene and was like, oh, I forgot I left a really big suitcase here. Like, how does that work? I know. I know. I know he probably had some like inside line with the cops, but just like logistically, you know? It's crazy that guy was 29 and they were in college. Well, it's every year.

So they had the older guys. It's Florida State. That's like, I mean, that's like- Yeah, he might've been a student. I don't know. A Florida freshman, you know? Kind of a problematic age gap for the guy who died. Yeah, he's kind of like the victim here. Yeah.

Yeah. Matt Gaetz was sort of groomed by that guy um, how quickly we all forgot the Nestor saga. Remember that? His adopted son? Nestor fell off. He left Nestor in the hood. So we didn't get smoked that you I haven't returned from him. I mean, Nestor was already like 17 when he got discovered. So I guess you can't just keep like a 19 year old around like the point is having like a boy servant, not like a grown man. Anyone can get a grown man. I don't know a man servant. That sounds pretty good. You would think you would think but like most people will go with a boy. But he pretty much disappeared.

Did you see that my favorite senator, the senator with the best name in the Senate, Mark Wayne Mullen, he said that as recently as this week, that he doesn't want, he didn't want to like infer Gates because Gates would like show people videos of him having sex on the floor of the house. He didn't want to confirm him. Yeah. I would want to confirm him because otherwise like if he doesn't get confirmed, he has nothing to lose. You're showing pictures, if you're showing videos of me having sex to other people on the floor of the house. Yeah, that might be an issue. Unless it looks really cool. Like what if everyone's impressed by it?

People come up to you and they're like, yo, Matt showed me a video and your dick was so big and your thrust game is on point. Mark Wayne, I would love you to top me. Like if that was happening, then it would be worth it. It would be awesome. Like a compliment can go a long way. Also we have here in the Trump cabinet, we have Lee Zeldin for EPA.

Lee Zeldin, another like boring one. You know, this is, you know, that's what president Doug Burzum would do. But Tulsi, Tulsi is the head. Tulsi for director of national intelligence is pretty good. See, that one's interesting because like he has all these neocons at like state and all over the place. But then Tulsi is director of national intelligence.

Well she's only against the wars after the fact. Exactly. When they're going on, she enlists, she voluntarily enlists. Exactly. When they're going on, she enlists. She voluntarily enlists. Exactly. If we go to if we get a war with Iran, she's going to enlist and then maybe four or five years later, she's going to say we shouldn't have done it. So it should be fine. That's the Pat Tillman classic. I am interested to see if like

Tulsi gets confirmed. I mean, did she like, did she even have like a security clearance? Would she be able to get one? Well, people keep saying she's a Russian asset. And like, the evidence for that is that she spoke out in favor of Julian Assange at one point. I don't mean that I mean, more like just like the weird stuff around her. Like how she was like she was a member of like a quasi like BJP affiliated cult until

she was like 29. Yeah. I mean, look, if Matt Gaetz can get confirmed, then I think Tulsi will have no problem. Yeah, probably. And then I guess the last of the the marquee, the big names here is of course, RFK Jr. for Health and Human Services, which is this one's going to be fun. I mean, I know you all saw the photo of him on the plane eating McDonald's with Trump looking like looking like the world just crawled out of his brain.

Health and Human Services. He changed races. Yeah, he completely changed races. Health and Human Services is one of the more like bullshit cabinet rules. I know like someone's gonna yell at me and be like, Oh, they actually, you know, they did this. Well, I've never heard of anyone doing anything there. That seems like, I don't know, a job that you would give your wife if she was getting. She was bored, like a margin that in the Hank Scorpio episode, they would have appointed her to health and

human services. I've just never heard of like anyone either doing anything great or like fucking up that badly there. He's more into animal services. Animal services. That would suit him better. I think if you could just like find roadkill or do research on like sewing different animals together. Or finding the best tasting organ. Which apes taste the best? What bugs are the best to dump on yourself?

He's going to make a manticore. The smoothest bug to put in your urethra. That's the kind of research he would do. Yeah. They get halfway in and they start going back out. So it's kind of a problem. We're swimming in every river in Brazil, trying to find like which tapeworm that swims up your urethra feels the best. Yeah, the candiru. We're trying to genetically engineer the American candiru. They wouldn't let me get on a plane this week because of my comfort candiru. Yeah.

Even though I have a license and everything. They wouldn't have noticed it, but you have your cock pierced. You had set off the metal detector and they looked a little closer and they're like, wait a minute. Why is your eithra so big? Is something in there? You can't bring this into the country, sir. My service worm. Why is his urethra so big? Something in there? You can't bring this into the country, sir.

My service worm. He drinks my pee. I don't have to go to the bathroom as much. Yeah, all the fluoride is coming out of the water and all of the penis parasites are going in the water. But they're actually- So I can't wait for food to get more salmonella. It's gonna be awesome. For like, okay, so like the, the director of health and

human services, the secretary, whatever the fuck, I don't know, that's how important it is. It was for the Biden administration, it was Rachel Levine, which like, who all the exactly, but like, this was the this was she's like a and like 70 year old trans woman. And like that's the the conservatives are always like posting their picture. Be like, this is our military and look at Russia's military. Yeah, she's fat and she's telling us about health. Yeah. And they put an RFK and he looks like he's dying.

And he sounds like this. But he like no one, no one can point, even like the guys who like love talking about this shit. I've never seen them point to anything Rachel Levine actually like did or didn't do. So like, I don't know. This is it's totally arbitrary. Like, yeah, like when Michelle Obama tried to make school lunches healthier and all those guys got mad But then if it was a Republican doing it, they would be like, yeah, we got to get rid of this goy slop

We got to put some shit without seat. We need McDonald's with with real beef tallow beef tallow. Yeah Bring it back to beef tallow, which you know if they do that good but what I do like about RFK and Health and Human Services is that I just like I wonder about like the the psychic cost of him being that close to Donald Trump when Donald Trump is in fact the living refutation of everything RFK jr. believes in because the fact that Trump is still going strong and healthy Despite eating McDonald's every day of his life for the last probably 40 years and drinking Aspartame. Yeah, and drinking like 15 diet cokes a day.

You don't freak out about Aspartame. Why is he still alive? Never heard about anyone dying from Aspartame. Like, honestly, who seems healthier, Donald Trump or RFK Jr.? Because to me, it's Donald Trump. I don't know. I don't think Donald Trump could do nine push-ups. Because to me, it's Donald Trump. I don't know. I don't think Donald Trump could do nine push-ups. I mean, he just seems to be more infused with a sort of vitality and I don't know, a force

of nature. He's infused with Big Pharma. Yeah, that's true. They're giving him a lot of Big Pharma. Like you have to with those old guys to keep them going. Because they want to go to bed at 1pm and you can't let them. Another line of big pharma for you. So like Trump's body is coursing with diet coke, vaccines, prescription amphetamines

and Christ knows what else. And he's doing great. So I've been just wondering how that sort of aligns with RFK Jr's worldview. I mean, RFK is, he's clearly on testosterone, but someone also told me that he's taking a peptide that makes you kind of like a peach colored. And also you have to jack off all the time.

It gives you extra melanin. Yeah, yeah. They originally developed it for people that wanted to get powers on that one day. Do you remember? Oh, right. Oh, right. Yeah. What are my favorite days on Twitter?

It was like some sort of celestial event would unlock the DNA of black people and would give them superpowers. In general, it was melanated people. It was melanated people. Yeah. So a lot of us were taking that peptide and we were very disappointed when that day came to pass. I got to join the winning side.

Yeah. Fuck that. I want to be an X-Man. I mean, shit, Tulsi's already got the hair. That's probably how they found out a lot of people who were in academia and lying about their race. Everyone on the faculty who actually was Native American or black or whatever, they were flying around shooting lasers. They started phasing through walls.

Yeah. Rachel Dolezal just goes smack into a fucking concrete wall. Yeah, some white lady wearing like a wearing like a headdress just tries to jump off like a two story building and falls flat. She's a lot of explaining to do now. So hopefully. I mean, I mean, I don't know, like, it's just just with his diet. I am convinced that Donald Trump does have superpowers. Just based on the fact that

he's still alive. I mean, we've all seen like, you know, a big fat disgusting guy, you know, live to like 90, 85 even. Especially when they're rich. I don't think, you know, that's the true marker of longevity. If you're rich or not. Yeah, you're right. He also doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke. Oh, that's true. Yeah. If you don't are sort of healthy in LA,

a junkie. So but yeah, like the common denominator, both of them is that they're rich. So it's basically junkie for a long time. And as long as the needles are clean, and the supply is clean, and it's not fentanyl, like you can be good. Some of them are okay from that. Someone told me that Bob Dylan has been using heroin for like 98 years. No way. No, he was an amphetamines guy. And then he was

a drunk for a couple decades. But I mean, more power to him if he wants to do that. I don't care. Go ahead. I think you're right to the common denominator is you can like, follow any health regimen that you want. But if you're wealthy, it common denominator is you can follow any health regimen that you want. But if you're wealthy, it really doesn't make a difference because that's what's keeping you alive. Yeah.

It's like everyone... I think... I forgot who pointed this out initially, but it was always a truism that the older voters skewed more conservative and, oh, when you get older, you get more conservative. That's true for some people, but the real meat of the issue is that richer people are the ones who survive well into old age, and they tend to skew, like, traditionally more Republican. Obviously, that's like changed a little, but, you know, that's...

Yeah, I believe older white people were the only group that broke for Kamala this election. Yeah. Over 2020. In these times of hate and pain, we need a remedy to take us from the rain. And along those lines, though, about people who are breaking for Kamala or who have things to say about this election, I do want to turn now to this New York Times op-ed by this guy Adam Gentleson. Adam Gentle-Ben. And he's got an op-ed in the New York Times titled, When Will Democrats Learn to Say No?

That a lot of people like John Favestar are touting. He says here, basically, John Favestar's review of this is that, quote, Dems should resist any group or special interests that pressures them to take positions opposed by the electoral majority essential to win, whether that's big corporations, rich donors, nonprofits, whoever. This isn't about blaming specific groups for defeat. It's about what's

required to win. I'm assuming that AIPAC comes up in here, right? Actually, I would you would you believe that I did a word search and could not find AIPAC, Gaza, Palestine or Israel anywhere? That's weird. Must have been an oversight. I, Adam Gentileson, by the way, this guy probably loves Goislaup with that name.

I my first encounter with him was in like, 2020. It was like right after the Bernie the wheels sort of fell off the Bernie campaign. And some Warren lady was saying something like, the future of the left can't be led by Bernie people. And I like, you know, I like, quote tweeted her with something and he like freaked out on me. He sent me a DM and said, how could you quote tweet a 24 year old woman like that? And it's like, what did the okay, she was 27, like what?

Yeah, the age just keeps getting higher and higher. Yeah. Human shields, the use of human shields is of warrant and I won't stand for it. She was 24. She was a fucking kid Formerly of working for John Fetterman and Harry Reid and I just gonna like dig into this for a second because Like I was gonna like jump to the middle of it. He says unlike Democrats. Mr Trump engaged in what I call supermajority thinking,

envisioning what it would take to achieve an electoral realignment and working from there. Supermajority thinking is urgently needed at this moment. We have been conditioned to think of our era of polarization as a stable arrangement of rough parity between the parties that will last indefinitely. But history teaches us that such periods

usually give way to electoral realignments. Last week, Trump showed us what a conservative realignment can look like. But history teaches us that such periods usually give way to electoral realignments. Last week Trump showed us what a conservative realignment can look like. Unless Democrats want to be consigned to minority status and be locked out of the Senate for the foreseeable future, they need to counter by building a supermajority of their own. That starts with picking an ambitious electoral goal. Save the 365 electoral votes Barack Obama won in 2008 and thinking clearly about what Democrats need to do to achieve it. the 365 electoral votes Barack Obama won in 2008 and thinking clearly about what Democrats

need to do to achieve it. Democrats cannot do this as long as they remain crippled by a fetish for putting coalition management over a real desire for power. Whereas Mr. Trump has crafted an image as a different kind of Republican by routinely making claims that break with the party line on issues ranging from protecting Social Security and Medicare to mandating insurance coverage of in vitro fertilization. Democrats remain stuck trying to place all of their interest groups, please all of their interest groups while watching voters of all races desert them over the very stances that

these groups impose on the party. So a couple things here. I mean, like he says here, we should pick up, we should pick an ambitious electoral goal. The electoral goal is just winning a lot of electoral votes. And I mean, that seems to be putting the cart before the horse. It's also like, if we're going to take this at face value from like, Favreau and Gentleson, the objective version of events is

there were all these groups that were like glorified get out the vote operations. That's basically what these interest groups are. Any Democratic Party friendly, I guess, identity-focused group is just a get out the vote operation. And briefly, some of those groups were used as a cudgel against Bernie in 2016. So guys like Jentleson and Favreau saw that and probably knew that but were like, this is pretty persuasive though. I know we're just cynically using this, but this is pretty persuasive. We should talk like this. And now like eight years later, they're like, well, it turns out that's actually the sole reason

we lost and it had nothing to do with Joe Biden being 82 fucking years old. But now that thing. Yeah, I don't know how that isn't the number one thing by like a light year. Yeah, the president is senile. He's still senile. We can all see it. And they lied to our face about it. And then they put another person in his place like two months before the election.

And then she was also lying about it. Yeah. And not distancing them from like that just that destroyed the party for a generation having Joe Biden's senile ass and then having every journal, every journalist just lied to everyone's face about it. Even like left liberal people just fucking lying about it. Like in like 2020 it was a conspiracy theory to say he might be senile. You were crazy. You were a crazy person and like you weren't allowed to publish something like that. Yeah, it's like, it's kind of amazing how light they got off considering how blatantly and for how long they fucking lied about this.

Like actual elder abuse, people should go to jail. Like Joe Biden should go to jail and Hunter should get pardoned. But yeah, so like, going back to like, the shit about interest groups, though, their line is like, basically, all of this stuff was incredibly persuasive to us for the last eight years. But now we realize it was bad. So you should trust our judgment when you when we say, okay, just totally jettison this stuff that we pretended to care about for eight years, and then we'll win. No, your judgment is fucking forfeit then. You're a fucking idiot. If that's the case, you're fucking stupid.

Yeah, like, what's the actual platform? We get rid of all the woke stuff. And it's just like the stuff Joe Biden did for unions. Well, it didn't work. It wasn't enough. Whatever it was, it wasn't enough. Like the economic stuff that he did, like, I guess people didn't like it. He says you're ruthlessly prioritizing winning will make the groups mad. And that's okay. In fact, it will be good for them. Groups have become too accustomed to enjoying access

while holding them without holding themselves accountable. The question is this tactic more or more likely to trigger backlash than advance our goals is the single most important one, yet it seems to be really asked by many of the group's leaders or funders. I would say a slightly more important question than that is what is our goals? Like what are our goals here? What are we attempting to do? Because the groups that he mentions in this group in in this op-ed, are the ACLU, the Sunrise Movement, and the Working Families Party. And look, if you

want to tell all those groups to take a hike and go fuck themselves, that's fine with me. But like, he's like, unspoken in all of this is certainly APEC, because you want to talk about a group that has not only spent $100 million trying to defeat Democrats, but like cajoled the party into taking a disastrously unpopular stance that are an issue that people care deeply about. You think you start there, but it's not just them. How about Tony West? How about like the Wall Street? Like, how about like the corporate wing of the party that stopped that, you know, sort

of like strangled in the crib any attempts for Kamala to even like, try to run against big business. But the question once again, unspoken here is what are the goals? What is the goals that a gentle Ben wants to wants to advance here? What is like the ACL? What the fuck? What fucking effect did the ACLU have on the fucking election? It was that it was compared to Joe Biden. It was the questionnaire that they gave to candidates where Kamala gave her answer about transgender surgeries for inmates in California. It's been completely misrepresented because all they all they asked was what are you going to do for trans people? And she could have just said, well, Trump is going to do this and this and this and I'm against that. And it would have been fine. But she said, I want

to pay to give prisoners trans surgeries. Like she volunteered that out of nowhere. Didn't have, wasn't asked about prisons, wasn't asked about prisoners. She said that. And then they're blaming it on the ACLU. Like the ACLU said, do you support using taxpayer money to, uh, to, to trans surgeries to prisoners? And she said, well, yes.

That's not what the interview said. They didn't say that. That's her saying that, because she's fucking stupid. Which is why she got 1% of the vote in the primary. We're never gonna hear from her ever again. They're just gonna put her back in her coffin. They're just gonna give her Benzos until she goes to sleep forever.

She couldn't even find a husband. They had to give her one. until she goes to sleep forever. She couldn't even find a husband. They had to give her one. That's how much she sucks. Her even her own dad doesn't like her and he's Jamaican. So he must be pretty chill. Yeah. I mean, going from like a candidate who is dying, who like presided over an economy that everyone fucking hated, no matter how many times you tell

people, no, actually, it's great, you're doing great. A candidate that torched everyone's fucking trust in everything, replacing it replacing him with someone who is more tied to him than she is anyone or any other entity. And who, you know, while at that made every fucking boneheaded decision that she could possibly make, like, after about August, that campaign made the worst single decision they could make in almost every single instance. It's kind of amazing how it

wasn't really a landslide. I mean, in the electoral college, certainly. But it's sort of amazing that it wasn't like a 2008 style popular vote blowout. Anything but the most obvious answers. Yeah, Felix, I've been going through a lot of these postmortems. And I have word searched all of them and it is astonishing the way every single one of them does not mention Israel or Palestine once at all. Yeah, and like... It's just been completely written out of the question of like, why are the voters not like Kamala Harris or like, or the question of interest groups forcing the Democrats into

unpopular positions. Right. And none of us are saying that like, they single handedly won or lost or could have won the election based on Israel policy. But the idea that you are campaigning on being like the adults in the room who have a unique handle on global affairs, and every time people look at what is going on outside of America, they're looking at Biden's signature foreign policy moves after Afghanistan, and they see nothing but fucking disaster that does have an effect.

And you're getting tricked. Yeah, getting tricked by Netanyahu over and over again, pulling away the football like this. It doesn't even seem like they have a handle on it. Like they're just flailing around in the water, but also aiding and abetting a genocide at the same time. And then being like, I don't know. I sorry guys. We're going to have to keep doing it. And that's like the most generous interpretation of what happened. That is the interpretation they want people to believe that they are constantly getting fucking fooled.

Yeah. Either way, no matter how you swing it, they just look like pieces of shit. Like if you're that Zionist, you're just a Republican. If you support all that shit outright, you're just a Republican. Well, yeah, I mean, like, and that seems to be the the message here is that like, okay, well, we have to win elections. Well, Donald Trump just won an election. So why not just be Republicans? And left unsubstantial is like, the fact that like every single actual policy that's associated with Donald Trump and the Republicans are brutally unpopular. And that that is no impediment to them winning elections. But the difference is they actually believe in it. You know, like they know what their agenda is, and they're not afraid to run on it. Well, making all groceries $1. That's pretty popular. That's a

signature policy. The second he's inaugurated, you're going to go to Walmart and everything in there is going to be one dollar. It's like Dollar Tree how it used to be. It's going to be awesome. A gallon of milk, one dollar. A loaf of bread, one dollar. A microwave, one dollar.

It's going to be the Trump economy and it's going to be so good. Speaking of getting fooled, another thing he writes here is, the groups also pollute the talent pipeline by training young people in magical thinking, teaching them to apply movement tactics to every issue instead of inculcating them with a disciplined practice of smart politics. This is primarily the fault of the leaders, not the youth, since many bosses claim to live in fear of being canceled by their young staff members. Yet having managed dozens of junior staffers in progressive institutions for more than

a decade, I know it's possible to listen to and learn from their concerns and create a supportive work environment while also setting clear boundaries and expectations. So he's basically saying like, oh, the problem is that like, it's polluted the talent pool by making everyone who works for it, making us afraid of everyone who works for us. Like again, I just, I don't buy this for a second. If the party was so afraid of that type of stuff, they wouldn't have a rapist pedophile in Bill Clinton speaking at the last three fucking conventions. Isn't that the kind of environment Obama came out of?

Like wasn't he one of those idealistic youths with the nonprofits and stuff. And it doesn't seem like it stopped him from doing everything mainstream Democrats want. Like he wasn't, he became very cynical. He became the exact type of person they want young people to be. And like the headline of this article is, will Democrats learn to say no? And again, I hate to harken back to it, but like like we've just lived through a whole year of them saying no to anyone who's like, can you please stop killing people in Palestine? They didn't say no really easy when it comes to things like that But for some reason it's their staffers that are just sort of intimidating them and taking these unpopular stances but again

Just like Gentleson himself does not outline a single stance that he believes in or thinks is worth fighting for. Well, yeah, this is this is the essence of popularism, right? Yeah. You say we should we should do things that are popular and not do things that are unpopular. And that just that could be fucking anything. And so when you succeed, you look like a fucking genius. And when the party fails, oh, well, you shouldn't have done all those unpopular things that I will not explicitly name. He goes on here, he says, he says, Democrats need to strip our messaging down to the studs and focus on the enduring issues that have stood the test of time. It is highly persuasive to give voters basic information and clear terms about Democrats positions on Social Security and Medicare, health care, prescription drug pricing, abortion rights, and tax policy.

I mean, he doesn't mention what any of his positions are on any of those issues. Every interest group comes armed with polls of questionable quality showing their issue is popular. But we should instead focus on what's been tried and tested. One way to do this is for Democrats to stop filling out interest group questionnaires and using their websites to placate them By listing positions on every issue under the Sun. This is where opponents go to mine for oppo as they did for mrs. Harris Don't okay. So he's saying don't have unpopular positions

But the I've been it's also he's saying don't have positions and don't list the positions on your website He says they're gonna make them up. Yeah, they're just going to make them up. It's 2024. You can not put that on your website. They're going to say you support whatever you support, top surgery and bottom surgery for all prisoners mandatory. All pregnancies should be aborted. That's what he believes. I heard it on Facebook.

There are people there like Republicans who campaigned on the idea that Joe Biden is like an enemy of Israel. Like it really doesn't matter what you do or what you say. He says Democrats should seek out issues that demonstrate their willingness to fight for their constituents and break with progressive orthodoxy. The emerging concept known as supply side progressivism offers a good guide embracing limited deregulation that advances liberal policy goals. That's the closest thing he gets to staking out of position here is supply-side progressivism.

That's what you want to call it? Yeah, like, it's just like, uh, tax cuts for, I don't know, tax cuts for vegetarians. And then, no, but then he uses an example here. Democratic candidates such as Marie Glucincamp Perez of Washington opposed regulations that prevent daycare workers from peeling fresh fruit for kids and they mandate for new safety features on table saws that would have made the saws so expensive that people would simply use circular saws, likely resulting in more severed fingers.

Okay, I gotta talk about this Marie Glucincamp Perez person because I've been seeing like, she's getting a lot of heat now severed fingers. Okay, I got to talk about this Marie Glussen camp Perez person because I've been seeing like she's getting a lot of heat now because like she won in like a red district in Washington and they're like oh she's talking common-sense solutions that jive with you know like what her constituents are saying and what I have to say about her is like look if these regulations are stopping daycare workers from giving fruit to kids, sure, that seems like an issue worth considering.

You should be allowing fruit to be served at daycare centers or whatever. But like, it does seem to me that like, as the manifestation of the kind of the political program being prescribed here, it just seems to be like, politics is just whatever the last, one of your constituents told you about last. And I really don't think that this is like a vision for a national political party. And also Marie Glusenkamp is a weirdo. She has a heart, she has a very weird way of speaking.

And she also- She has Adderall jaw. Yeah, yeah. She's like a weird way of speaking. And she also has Adderall jaw. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's like a she's very disquieting sort of aura to her. And to add to that, she did just vote for that bill that would have given Trump the legal authority to strip nonprofit status from any pro-Palestinian organization in the country. But also, I get to make profits now.

Well, that's awesome. IPO coming soon. Also like, like, I don't know if people read either the table saw thing or the banana peeling thing. In the banana peeling thing, there was like nothing in there that says they can't peel bananas. This is, it's like like this is Ronald Reagan shit. Where you just use it, you'd say, Oh, there's a government regulation against this, you

know, confident that no one will actually check it. Just so you get busy. Like has there been a daycare teacher that's been fired for that or sued for that for peeling a banana? I don't think so. Because it was you would put her in the ads. Yeah, I like it's just incredibly fucking lazy. And it's like, it is desperately searching for an opportunity to position yourself against regulation in pursuit of what exactly?

Again, like what's said in all these things is like, is he is prescribing the Democratic Party moving to the right on all of these tried and true issues? Because like, if he talks about like issues that are tried and true, rather than these, you know, group tested nonsense, how come there's nothing about like universal health care or expanding Social Security and Medicare, you know, expanding unionization, things like that. I mean, like, these would be the tried and true things of a democratic party of an earlier era. But instead, he's like, we need to do tried and true things like listening to your daffiest

constituent talk about banana peels and circular saws, and then working backwards as a government just being like, what can we do to make it easier to do carpentry in one district in Washington? And he closes out by saying, those who would rather lose elections so they can feel better about themselves, leave the real suffering to the people they claim to fight for. You lost the election! You lost the fucking election, you cocksucker! He says, no one wins when we lose it's time to start winning again. Take take the advice from me a fucking loser. Jesus Christ. They're just gonna run on deregulating shit like that. Yeah. What is the platform? I don't understand.

And like look okay Donald Trump and the Republican Party are they're against abortion they just they just overturned Roe v Wade and won an election. Seems like a winning platform. Let's get on that. Wade and won an election. Seems like a winning platform. Let's get on. Let's get on that. Yeah, like it's so just contentless. Yeah, it's just saying we should have common sense Democrats who say I'm a common sense Democrat. That's all they want.

Yeah, I'm wearing a hard hat and a jean jacket. And I'm I believe in common sense and maybe, sense. And maybe the government's not always right. And I think we need to think about regular, like that's just what they want. They want a speech like that. And then everything else is just the same. Just more people, like more Democrats would like fake hunting jackets on in TV ads.

Like, okay, that's like not a substantive criticism. Yeah, Democrats have been wearing the same fucking Carhartt jackets since 2004. He's describing John Kerry's campaign, basically. Yeah, going to NASCAR. And once again, like the problem with John Kerry's campaign is that he in fact did vote for the Iraq war before he voted against it.

Yeah. And you know, like, I really doubt that Adam. You want to think about other tried and true coalition. How about being against war? But no, that's not on the fucking table And once again, they go back to what you said Felix. It's like they've all diagnosed the problem is the identity identity politics groups That they all promoted and fucking rolled over for eight years ago And they're saying yeah, this is the reason we lost this election so we need to replace identity politics with what with deregulation and common-sense solutions and Marie glussen camp Perez and

whatever the fucker like whatever some some person at you know a town hall told her like a week ago I mean actually I remember reading about Marie glussen camp Perez because after Kamala lost she had some quote in the media about how when she was at the White House or some event with Christmas trees at the White House that were fake Christmas trees, she took it upon herself to start telling Kamala about how they grow Christmas trees in her district.

And the White House should really get the real Christmas trees from Washington in her district. And I know this is what you're supposed to do as a congressman. And this was played off like, oh, Kamala just basically like stared at her and walked away and was like, that's nice. I never felt more sympathy for Kamala in that moment than I did reading about her just having to hear about

this bird brains fucking Christmas trees. Her talking to Kamala about this Christmas tree bullshit, that is like the Goku versus Vegeta of like woman autism. That is the Batman versus Superman of strange women. Don't they have trees on the East Coast? It just makes no sense. Inefficiency and common sense.

That would be a thing that they would point to. Imagine if that actually happened and the White House was ordering their Christmas trees from Eastern Washington and having them shipped across the whole country and each one of them cost like $780 because of shipping and just the weight of those things. Then they get there and all the leaves are falling off. That would be a thing they would point to. Look at how inefficient and stupid the government is. There's some weird little footnote that says we have to get the trees from Washington because

some Democratic congressperson lives in Washington and she wants us to do that, even though there are trees here and we could do it cheaper. That's just a new thing that they could like a new thing they could complain about. We got it. We got to stop being beholden to these Christmas groups and their Christmas questionnaires asking us what presents we want. Yeah, big Santa. Oh yeah, I mean like I chose that op-ed because it's just it's just very, very indicative of this entire, I mean like basically everyone who just lost this election now chiming up to tell tell you, you know, why

why they should be listened to. It is like, just completely like contentless. It is like the only concrete goal or policy or really anything you walk away from that is like, we should do as well as Obama. Wow, holy shit. What do you say? Our goal? He said our goal should be to get the same amount of electoral votes that Obama did. That's a dad and that's fucking incredible. We need to get all these people out of the party who said our goal is to do as well as john carry.

Because that he turns out he lost and Obama won. You're a fucking genius, man. Well, yeah, that does it for Adam Gentle, Ben. But now, before we before we tune out before we sign off for today, I would like to introduce our closing segment on this episode. Now, you remember from our live show in Los Angeles, Santa Claus himself made an appearance, Santa Christman, and read a poem that he composed. And I thought it was great, but in the time I was in LA, Matt was, he wanted to keep this rolling. And he wrote another poem with, you know, shout out to Amber Rallo, who had some editorial guidance. And we sort of like, he's still working

on coming out with these poems. And we'd like to, we think that I think this is a good way. Because, you know, obviously, like Matt's voice has been missing from the show over the last year and you know we we feel that acutely as as you do as well and I think these poems will be a great way to sort of dispatches from Christman and there were he sort of metabolizing the the news of the week and the news of the world and putting them into a sort of prose poem that we're going to share with you now in a new segment we will be calling Matt Christman's, Strokes of Genius. So please join us now in the first of what I hope will be many missives from Matt, The Strokes of Genius.

And he has a new poem out that we're going to, that he recorded and we're going to play for you now. So why write poetry in their areas of ticks, talks and YouTube's? Why write poetry? Well, my brain know work good. So I ready will do. And I write a poem that respond to Trump victory. Uh, a special shout out also, uh, Amber Rallo to contributing to writing.

So like it or not, here, here you go. Poetry here. There is no why a dialogue. And I am taking the other part of it. Here we go. Yeah. How could you let this happen? I said, dropping my monocle Kamala Harris is a proven leader, radical cheek, a

pleasing hum, a trusted caretaker, checked all of the boxes. Her resume is impeccable. Why risk all of that for a thrice impeached Cheeto? Because they are eating the dogs. They're eating the cats that are in there. But the news said it was baseless. There was no ring footage. They made it up. Harris laughed. It's absurd. Why trust the bottomless Pinocchio? Because they're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats that are in there.

But global warming is a thing. Trump brushed it off. Helena killed 230 people. Isn't that a bigger deal than fantasy? Because they're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats that are in there. But what does that mean? And why risk our precious democracy? Turn the executive treasury into a sharper image.

Because they're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats that are in there. In where? That's not even what he said. Watch the footage. Because sometimes I look into the mirror and I scream. Because inside that so-called pleasant hum, I recognize mocking laughter because the twilight of the gods needs a decent ragnarok because the Viking funeral throws off embers of eternal golden arches because B.F. Skinner forgot the pellets because even a clockwork orange is right twice a day because I don't trust your embrace because I prefer singing the YMCA so I can see where your hands are.

Because I gladly trade sensitivity training for a donkey show because the house may wear white, but it still has a back door because what happens DC stay But it still has a back door because what happens DC stay DC because everybody knows that the dice are loaded because the flag still stands for freedom. Red in tooth and claw Royal white and blue balls because the red pill is the blue blue chew because I prefer an honest criminal to a lying cop because I can see the future and it doesn't work because I can see the future and it is murder because I can't stop thinking about that Vladimir Nabokov author of the Lolita Express. Nothing is more exhilarating than Philistine vulgarity.

Because Nabokov is a pedophile. Because poetry is for homos. Because standing in line is for homos. Because the SNL isn't funny. Because get-er-done. Because irritable mental gestures would seek to resemble middle fingers. Because hell is empty and all the devils are here because when the sunlight depals in the lake, it is actually beautiful because see peoples is just another word for beautiful

boaters because Bob up, Bob, Bob, Bob. I'm loving it because school is out because everything solid melts into the air because logic and proportion has fallen sloppy dead because our values are under attack because they said come and see but there is nothing on so our rerun will do because the sound of a smash monocle is the perfect rhythm to dance to because i love water boring with liberal tears because fuck your feelings because sit down little man because the customer is always right because I guess diet Mountain Dew is actually good because reality is boring because

chanting opens up in new worlds of possibilities but most of all because they're eating the dogs that are eating the cats that are in there. So what are you waiting for? Get in there. snaps, everybody snaps for Christmas. They said come and see but there was nothing on. Thank you so much to Matt and Amber Rallo for putting that together. And like I said, we hope to be working with Matt on a number of these. Yeah, like missives from Matt, sort of like an Andy Rooney style segment in a way that we can, Matt can share his voice with our audience. And I'm excited

about that. And I hope you guys will be as well. It'll be very nice to hear his voice back on the show. So he's like and he's like Alan Ginsburg if he didn't do all that stuff. We'll leave it there for today folks. I want to thank Alex for hanging out with us on this episode. Until next time everybody bye Bye bye! I wanna freak, exclusively, so that you only come to satisfy me. I need a freak, I really do. I wanna freak, wanna wax and looks like you. I need a freak.