CheapShow - Ep 252: Nissin Tell (The Noodle Special)
Episode Date: October 15, 2021This may not be the “Noodle Special” you expected, but maybe it's the “Noodle Special” you need! This week, CheapShow dedicates a whole episode to the wonder that is the Nissin Cup Noodle inst...ant meal! However, this is not just any old cup noodle episode, it's a very special one as Paul & Eli celebrate the 50th anniversary of Nissin's world-famous portable snack! Thanks to the incredible generosity of our listening audience, CheapShow was very fortunate to get their dirty little hands on the very limited edition "Nissin 50th Anniversary Cup Noodle Soda Pack"! What's inside the pack? Well, apart from the many cup noodles and many flavours, there are also some tasty looking Umaibo sticks and... A range of bottled sodas, flavoured in curry, ramen stock, chili tomato and seafood! Noodle flavoured soft drinks? This can't be a good idea, can it? Why not find out in this very noodle flavoured episode! All food and drink will be sampled and, just maybe, bring peace on earth to CheapShow, at least for one episode! With HUGE thanks to Ivenne, Denny, Omar, Mark, Thomas, Tiffany, Andrew, Joshua and Gary for helping make this episode possible! See pictures and/or videos for this episode here: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-252-nissin-tell And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at thecheapshow@gmail.com And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid MASSIVE thanks to @Ivenne_NL who does so much for Cheapshow Why not help support Ivenne at her ko-fi! https://ko-fi.com/ivenne Help Support the Kickstarter for Series 2 of Digitiser! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mrbiffo/digitiser-the-show-level-2 And thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Oh, and you can NOW listen to Urinevision 2021 on Bandcamp... For Free! Enjoy! https://cheapshowpodcast.bandcamp.com/album/urinevision-2021-the-album MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I'm sorry.
Did you not even think I was going to notice?
I thought you don't listen to your podcasts when you put them out.
I just thought I'd stick it out there because, you know, I thought you were stupid.
Well, thanks to my hundreds of fans, thousands, nay, millions of fans out there,
I was alerted to what you've done.
And I worked really hard on that for that first episode.
It's been erased.
Yeah, it's gone. I binned it.
I got rid of it.
Unbelievable.
Well, I'm sorry, but I want my podcast back, don't I?
It's my podcast.
No, I want it fair and square.
It's mine now.
But it's my only livelihood.
It's all I've got in my life.
Please give me it back.
I'll do anything.
Get up off your knees.
It's pathetic.
Please give me my podcast back.
Think of little Eli.
Get your hands off my fly.
Think of little Eli. You want off my fly Think of little Eli
You want it back
Yes
So much
I'll do anything
Anything
Anything
There may be one thing
What?
I hate you
And your fucking noodle posse
People love noodles
It's just a fact of cheap show
You're gonna have to learn to fucking accept
Cheap show
Cheap show It's the Price of Shade.
Paul Gannon.
Eli Silverman.
Welcome to Cheat Show.
And a go and I nuzzle.
Hello, everybody.
Eli Silverman here.
Yeah, that's right.
And Paul Gannon's here.
It's Cheap Show.
Our poll.
Let me do it.
I've got it.
I've shot it.
And then that came out your mouth.
It was good.
No, it wasn't.
Welcome to Cheap Show.
I'm going to do it properly.
I will not allow you to do this.
I'm just going to edit this out.
Don't worry about it.
Hello, boys and girls.
Welcome to Cheap Show, the cheap pod bastard.
Fuck you.
No, good.
Well done.
No, Paul, that was good.
Really, really good.
You put me off.
You're really professional.
Here, I'll do it.
Hello, everybody.
Stop shouting.
Right into the mic.
Hello, everybody.
Here's how mic technique works.
I'm sorry it's been six and a half years,
and we have to bring this up yet again. But here's how mic technique works I'm sorry it's been six and a half years And we have to bring this up yet again
But here's how mic technique works
In a normal volume
Mic technique, mic technique, mic technique
Mic technique, mic technique
Mic technique, mic technique, mic technique
Mic technique, mic technique, mic technique
Please pay attention
I'm paying attention
It's a cheap show, Paul
I'm excited, you know why I'm excited?
Firstly, first things first.
No, don't derail it.
I need to tell you about mic technique.
Mic technique.
When you shout, pull your head back a bit.
I know about pulling my head back and then pushing it forward and then pulling it back.
Up and down.
Just the tip.
Then all the way in.
Now pull.
Now pull.
Then all the way out.
But not all the way out.
And then you pop the tip out.
You like that one. you like that one.
You like that one.
As long as it's knobbing
or job-jobbing,
blowjobbing.
What I tend to find is good
is dip-dip-thrust.
Dip-dip-thrust.
Paul.
Paul, before,
I'm very excited
for today's episode.
Perhaps that's why
I'm being a bit strident.
This podcast doesn't have
any rails anymore, does it?
We're off the rails.
This show's gone off the rails.
No, there are no rails.
We're an abandoned old railway track where the tracks have been taken away.
A linear park.
It's been made into a nice linear park.
Our podcast is a nice linear park.
With old benches on old platforms.
We walk along those.
Oh, there's some ferns.
Lovely ferns and old paving.
Can we start this podcast?
You know what?
Talking of rails, the crossbar of this sofa is right
in my cleft.
Hello
everybody, I'm Eli Silverman. It's cheap show
time again. That might give you a cleft tip. One little
question for you, Paul, before we
get on to the extremely exciting content. It's a very special
episode this week. Very special. Can I just
ask, how are we doing this? We've got the
podcast back. How did that happen?
It's fine fine didn't you
lose it to biffo two episodes ago yeah but he found out about it and we had a bit of a chat
and he found out that we were doing the pirate yeah he he ended up listening to the episode and
he was quite fucked off so we had a chat and uh we just came to an arrangement and he said he could
have the podcast back so what's the arrangement what did you have to sacrifice you know you don't really need to know so don't worry about it find
out you don't need to you well it does involve me my contract was my contract on the table in this
all i can say is that i've made an agreement with mr biffo and now the podcast is ours again and
that's all you need to worry about for now i'm happy if you're happy so we've got the podcast
back and for now that is great to worry about anything now. I'm happy if you're happy. So we've got the podcast back. And for now, you don't need to worry about anything.
Okay, I won't.
I'm not worried, like I said.
Good.
So, shall we get that all out of the way?
We've got that all out of the way.
And say the podcast back.
It's Cheap Show's back in the hands of its leaders.
Prick-a-prick-a-pron-tay.
You need us.
We need you.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
We're like Venom.
A-num-num-soy!
If Venom was possessed by Benny Hill. A-prick-nub-a-hoy! If venom was possessed by Benny Hill.
A-prick-a-prick-a-pronte.
Stop saying shit!
Please!
A-nub-nub-a-hoy!
A-prick-a-prick-a-pronte.
Please!
A-nub-nub-a-hoy!
Right, so on this week's episode of Cheap Show,
we have a very, very, very special...
See, in many respects,
this is the noodle special
you've been waiting for, and yet it's not the noodle special
we expected.
Well, it is not the noodle special we expected,
but it's a noodle special of a sort, Paul.
Yes.
Of a very special sort, commemorating the original Instant Noodles.
Yeah.
And those are
Nissin.
That's so funny.
It felt...
It was funny.
I just thought
I'd let you talk
and see how...
And see how you would go
with having to form a sentence
about something
that's happening in the show.
Not good.
And you couldn't do it.
You are more comfortable
just saying
Spodnycharov and Mablojov.
Now, I don't want Blojov coming into this today.
Blojov, Todjov, Spodjov.
Now, you see, I'm looking.
The inventor of instant noodles.
Well, no, let's set this up carefully first, right,
so we can frame this.
Okay, frame it for me.
A few weeks ago, September,
it was announced that Nissan,
the creators of the original cup noodle
were celebrating 50 years and in doing so they put together a 50th anniversary pack and what was
interesting about it outside of the fact that the pack you know contained uh one of each type of its
brand they also had two very limited edition special foodstuffs that were included in the pack.
One was a range of corn puff snacks called umeibo,
I believe they're called.
Delicious sticks.
Now, is that umeibo or umeibo the...
Umeibo.
The generic term for that type of snack.
Yes, because it translates into...
I'm sure I've said it wrong.
I'll check it again later.
But they translate as delicious stick, right?
And they have very generic.
What else translates as that?
My knob.
Cream-filled stick.
No one's ever called your knob a delicious stick.
Although they have compared it to them because it's flaky and tastes of fish.
fish so we have we have eight delicious sticks eight delicious sticks to eat. Each one flavoured after one of the cup noodle line, right?
So we have eight cup noodles, eight delicious sticks,
and here's where it gets juicy.
The pack also comes with four soft drinks.
And those four soft drinks are based on cup noodle flavours.
Oh, yes, they are. So we're going to keep this a little secret for now,
and we'll reveal it a little bit later on in the show.
Now Paul, you may have just covered this
but I'm sorry, I was thinking about
things. Yeah, you were.
Important things. Yeah.
Paul? Yeah. Am I right in thinking
these delicious sticks
were also a tie-in for the 50th
anniversary of the Cup Noodle brand? Yes.
Usually these are just generic kind of
flavours, you know, but this is the first time the Cup Noodle brand. Usually these are just generic kind of flavours, you know,
but this is the first
time the Cup Noodle
have ever been used.
To flavour those.
And then the soda is
an even more extreme
version of that.
Yeah, these are only
limited.
These are sodas.
Do we think they're
sweet?
Do we think they're
There's a little bit
of information, but
we'll save it for later.
But the whole pack
was limited to, I
think it was just
3,000 and they were
only for sale in
Japan.
The sodas.
The reason we got them is a ven who
sent us the suitcase episode and is in charge of the magazines and i create the magazine yeah
and i think it's an evil genius she somehow she got him managed to get the pack now she did it
with a few other cheap show supporters that i was looking a minute ago for their names and i can't
find them so i'm really sorry but thank you, because everyone chipped in to get this and sent to us from Japan.
Fantastic.
These are super rare to get hold of, super difficult, and Yvonne worked her dark magic to get them to us today.
I thought you were going to say behind off.
Well, you know, she probably did as well.
Oh, I wish I hadn't said that now.
Paul.
Yes. oh I wish I hadn't said that now yeah Paul yes I feel
yes
extremely grateful
that we have the kind of
listenership
who can procure this
event especially
yeah
get this to us
and then
it gives us a head start
on other
noodle based
I mean
content that's out there
we are the
premier UK
noodle podcast
even though that was
never the fucking
intention of this show
yes
but we are but this
just puts the nail in the coffin with us being the top noodle cast i think so of britain it puts us
in the upper echelons doesn't it of noodle connoisseurs we will be tasting noodle flavored
special edition 50th anniversary of the cup noodle special sodas on this very show later on we do want
to say thank you so so much to everyone who helped to get us
this pack and to event for being the ringleader in organizing it as well so this week is going to be
just noodles and it's specifically nissen and in no way are we supported or promoted or in fact
specifically the the cup noodle account on twitter got in touch with cheap show right on the twitter
account saying we're glad
you had the thing
we're glad that
you're going to
taste them and
enjoy them
we can't retweet
anything and support
it because
theoretically you
shouldn't have had
these because they're
from Japan
I see
so they can't
wink wink
so yeah we are
definitely not
allowed to do this
by Nissan
special edition
Nissan soda noodles
everybody
we will be tasting
them later on in the show.
Hot stuff.
We're so excited.
We just can't hide it, can we?
Actually, while we're here, before we end the segment, we get into it.
How about you tell us a little bit about Nissan?
Because you have a little bit of knowledge about it.
So why don't you go on, tell us very briefly why this is so special?
Well, Nissan is the company founded by Momofuku Ando.
Right.
Who was...
A gentleman.
The inventor of instant noodles.
Now, you say inventor.
How do you invent the noodles?
So there was no dried noodle.
He literally had a shed, and he was like,
I need a way to make noodles.
I love ramen, because it is a traditional dish, obviously, in Japan.
And he was literally in a shed experimenting
with ways to make it quicker so originally then noodles were like always wet noodles you always
bought no no they always be dry but they're much be much more like italian pasta so it's like
needing at least 10 minutes okay to soften yeah and he just boiled it down literally to two, three minutes. Yeah.
And also,
depending on how you prepare
instant noodles,
some of them, as we know,
are just steep in hot water.
And that water doesn't even
have to be at boiling temperature
when you pour it on.
I mean, it works better if it is,
but it doesn't have to be.
Do you know what I mean?
Which means you can have noodles
just from a hot tap, essentially.
You know, on Chinese trains,
they have these very hot taps.
Yes.
In order to prepare noodles on the train.
So it just democratizes a dish.
And also it made it, so basically they put everything you needed into a cup
and made it portable and takeable.
Well, I don't think the cup came first.
Right.
Now, his first, he formed, I think, Nissan Industries or Nissan Food Products.
Right.
Because he had other things going on.
It was like umami things he was working with as well.
So what, this is 19, what year is this?
1960?
70.
1972?
No, it came out, the cup noodle itself, 71.
Right, so then, yeah, 50 years.
In America, Top Ramen was launched in America in 1970.
Oh, right.
And that is much more like just a pack, you know, deck.
Like we're used to.
Yes, a deck noodle.
With the sauce that packs in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So the cup noodle didn't come out until a year later.
And it just, again, it improves the whole convenience of it.
Yeah.
One step further.
You don't even have to have your own bowl.
True.
And also, I guess, it also became a thing with students and people who couldn't afford to spend a lot of money on noodles well like i say it just completely democratizes a hot meal
i think that's the important thing there's something about having something hot do you
know what i mean there's something comforting about it but it's funny you know the evolution
of it because we've done a few noodles both pack and cup kind of prepared noodles yes and then you
kind of come over to this country and you get super noodles and pot noodles.
And it's like, what we've done is we've made it more like a stew.
Yeah.
It's kind of thickened it.
Too much corn flour.
Yeah.
But why is that?
Is that just because our palate is like,
we'll only accept the idea of a cup noodle to a point.
Then after that, it has to taste like chicken pie.
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
I think it's maybe because we have a thick, greasy kind of gravy palate.
Well, British people are used to sort of Italian noodles, I guess, which is always in a thicker sort of sauce.
And that's all I can think of.
I guess.
Why they think, both pot noodles and those bachelor super noodles, they go for a sort of gloopiness, don't they?
Yeah.
As opposed to the sort of, the Japanese style, which is obviously the clear broth.
A broth.
Which is a ramen.
A miso broth
or a pork bone broth
you know
we're going to be
it's all about the broth
with these ones
it's all about that broth
about that broth
no noodle
hey
okay
that song's only
eight years old
quickly as well
Pot Noodle just released
three new flavours
and they're styled
after these kind of things
apparently
like this Thai green
something or other
a red chilli something are we going to taste those if we can find them and they're in the wild I kind of things. Like this Thai green something or other. A red chilli something or other.
Are we going to taste those as well?
If we can find them and they're in the wild.
I bet they'll be in B&M.
Yeah, at some point.
I bet they will.
At some point.
What, they're like a clear broth style, are they?
I think so.
I think that's the idea.
Nissin are a giant in this industry.
They are.
And still produce some fucking incredible noodles,
including, you know, super favourites love mine,
such as the Tonkotsu Black Garlic Pack Ramen.
Their sesame one is just a
basic, is a brilliant noodle. I'm talking
about deck noodles here and they've had
these sort of extremely
attractive special edition
cup noodles available in Sainsbury's
and so on in recent years.
We didn't taste some of those and they've got all like
pictures of fucking Godzilla on them and stuff like that. That's weird recent years. We didn't taste some of those and they've got all like pictures of fucking Godzilla
on them and stuff like that.
That's weird.
Yeah, that style,
that kind of affects
a halfway point between these,
the kind of, you know,
foam pack,
the styrene packs
and then the pot noodle style.
Yeah.
Because you know what makes it interesting?
Very detailed sort of packaging.
Yeah.
And also what they do
is they put that whole sieve thing in.
You know,
they put the holes in the lid
so you can pour the water out if you wanted to.
That has been a more recent innovation.
Innovation!
And I don't think, I've never seen Nissin ones of those.
Those are different brands.
But with the built-in drainer, that's obviously for a more stir-fried style.
Well, you know what, Eli?
I ain't Nissin you at all.
Nissin you since you've been gone.
But Momo Fukuharu, an absolute hero of students, poor people,
anyone who just likes a hot noodle snack.
Instant noodle snack.
And you know what?
I'm looking forward to this episode because I've got quite the hunger on.
I'm quite hungry, actually.
Should we get on with it then?
It's all this talking about noodles.
What are we going to start with?
We've got a proper noodle bonk on.
Well, we're going to start with the noodles themselves
and pick a flavour each to try out.
Yeah?
Sound fun?
Oh, yes.
So that's what we're going to do.
Now, I want to pick one which I have not tried before.
Well, let's make a break, and then we'll come back,
and then we'll pick one, all right?
How about that?
Make a break?
Yeah.
Take a break and make a break?
Yeah.
It's only a game, so put up a real good fight.
You're getting really singly.
I'm going to be snookering you tonight.
Oh, yeah?
Pink behind the brown or something?
Yeah, remember to pop the pink and do not pop the brown.
I'm going to be taking you, taking you to Stinky Town.
Big ache.
Big ache?
Yeah, like, you know what?
It hurts when you put it in.大きなアイコン Paul, I've got a proper stomach bonk on.
You've got a stomach bonk on.
I have a gut erection.
I've got a gut hard on.
I've got a tummy chubby.
I've got a big man's gut boy.
Well, what that really means is that we're both rather peckish for these noodles.
I'm hungry for noodles.
You did want to clarify something before we go any further.
So, Eli, please clarify the point you want to make about the history of the Nissen.
Hugging and Nissen and loving and kissing.
Is that the second pun on Nissen we've had?
As many as I can think of.
Well, we've had kissing, nissen.
What else is there?
And a nissen.
I have been nissen in your face.
Nissen in your face.
Nissen in your face.
What does that mean?
Pissing.
There's no famous song called I've Been Pissing in Your Face.
There is.
It's by Chuck Berry.
No, it's not, Paul.
You're thinking of my ding-a-ling.
I'm never thinking of your ding-a-ling. You're always thinking of my ding-a-ling. I'm never thinking of your ding-a-ling i'm never thinking of your ding-a-ling
never thinking of your ding-a-ling just wanted to clear this up he actually momofuku ando the
inventor of instant noodles invented them in 1958 he perfected his quote-unquote he was taiwanese
born oh actually not a japanese man but he did found found Nissin. And then it was like... Chicken ramen was the original brand. Yeah.
But he invented the
cup noodle in 71
to sell it to Americans. To sell it to Americans
because he reckoned they didn't have ramen
sized bowls in American households.
So this was his innovation
was to put it in a... Don't worry about
the bowl, mate. We got this. We got the cup.
Yeah. So
this is the 50th anniversary of that of them
being introduced to the west i guess you could say yeah so um i found the names of the people who
helped send this pack along so thank you to obviously event and denny omar mark thomas
tiffany andrew joshua gary thank you very much you are the a team-team. You are the A-team. You're in the new league of show cheapskates
that is a very ephemeral status.
Do you know what's got ephemeral status?
Go on.
Fart.
Yes.
No, you're right.
I can't argue with that.
Steamy windows.
Steamy from the body heat.
I love the way in that song that...
Tina Turner's Steamy Windows.
That it has to be, that the lyric,
they have to sort of specify why it's steamy.
Do you know what I mean?
Have we get it?
Yeah, no, we know.
You've been fucking.
From the body heat.
It's like in Titanic, isn't it?
When they fuck in the back of that jalopy.
Does it get all steamy?
And she puts her hand on the glass. then she goes, oh, it's hot.
Private dancer, I'll dance him from morning.
That's a different song.
I know, but it's related because it's about sex.
I get them confused as well.
Private dancer, steamy windows.
Steamy dancer, private windows.
Sorry. steamy dancer private windows hey sorry uh right so this comes with eight traditional flavors of
cup noodle and eight snacks to go with it now what i find funny is this cross fertilization because
it was invented for the american market but then they must have sold them in japan as well do you
see what i mean or ended up selling them in japan because a lot of these flavors definitely aren't
ones that...
You get in America.
That you get in America.
No, but I get the impression that...
They're quite traditional sort of Japanese flavour profiles, aren't they?
Right, so here are the eight flavours in the pack.
It comes with classic.
So when classic, what does it mean?
A little bit of soy?
No, it's that one.
Is that classic?
This is classic, yeah, with the red logo.
That's the original chicken ramen.
That's the original flavour.
So that's what they say by classic, chicken ramen. Look, and you can tell because on the little, with the red logo. That's the original chicken ramen. That's the original flavour. So that's what they say by classic chicken ramen.
Look, and you can tell because on the little...
On the accompanying snack.
On the delicious stick, you've got a little...
That's a chicken, isn't it?
I don't know.
Not particularly.
No, it's not.
No, it's just a strange...
Maybe I'm wrong.
A strange animated face.
I believe classic means a sort of basic chicken broth flavour.
Yeah.
That's what I believe.
Okay, so we got that.
Then we got seafood.
So I don't know what exactly that entails
in terms of what does
it mean by seafood,
but you said there's
like a fish sauce,
which I guess...
Yeah, fish sauce we
were discussing on a
recent episode,
weren't we, Paul?
And you said,
what fish is it?
I do know the answer
to that now.
Oh, go on.
It's anchovies.
Anchovies, yeah.
So the fishiest of all fish.
That would make sense,
wouldn't it?
So maybe there's...
Fermented anchovies.
Are there prawns in it,
do you think, maybe?
Well, seafood is prawns.
It's fish.
Yeah.
It's squid, cephalopods.
It's...
Crabs.
Mollusks, clams and so forth.
So it could be anything.
Basically, ocean scrapings.
Ocean scrapings.
Right, good.
Now, you won't be drinking the seafood or eating the seafood.
No, no.
Because of deep psychological issues that stem from your childhood.
I have an allergic reaction.
Shut up. We also have an allergic reaction. Shut up.
We also have chilli tomato.
Now, that interests me.
I think I will be tasting that today
because that is something I've never really seen.
I've never seen it.
What kind of flavour profile do you think that is?
Do you think it's kind of like a tomato soupy kind of flavour
but with a chilli tingle afterwards?
Yeah, I mean, tomato is very umami.
It's one of the carriers of umami,
along with mushrooms, bacon and other things.
Okay.
Next one is...
Marmite.
Shio, bracket salt.
Now, that's puzzling to me.
I don't know.
Salt flavour.
Now, that has an extra pack.
A couple of these have actual extra flavour packs
that are outside of the cup.
And that's very interesting to me in a deeply interesting way, Paul.
Yeah, because the accompanying snack has like wasabi peas with salt beans sprinkled on them.
So I'm wondering what that's like.
It's salt sprinkles.
That might be the plainest of them all.
But I will be tasting all of these eventually.
Let everyone know.
We're only going to have two today because otherwise it's going to take a long time to eat.
But I will, Paul, I'm happy to and I feel it's my duty to taste all of these eventually.
Can you make notes that we can come back to later?
I'll bring them back to the show and I'll put them on the table.
This is the noodle content we like and need.
What else we got?
We have the one I'll be trying today, cheese curry.
Again, this one just seems interesting to me because remember we had that cheese noodle a while
ago. I mean years ago now
when we were in Cambridge. That was a Korean noodle, yes.
A cheese ramen that was, wasn't it? It was quite
nice. I'm wondering if it's going to be a bit like that. I think it was
a see you. Jimmy, I probably
made that joke then as well, didn't I? Yes.
This one comes with a little packet as
well of cheese sprinkles to put on the top.
And I believe there was a separate
cheese sprinkle pack in that ramen we tasted. And I believe there was a separate cheese sprinkle pack
in that ramen we tasted.
Yeah, there was.
A Korean one.
I don't remember it being anything spicy.
Was it?
It was quite spicy.
And it just, again, the cheese powder
sort of adds a sort of a mouthfeel.
Yeah.
You know, more than a sort of strong cheese flavour.
It's more of a sort of a mouthfeel it adds, a smoothness.
Yeah.
It kind of just completes
the flavors it's not all stodgy yeah yeah so that i reckon that's probably good yeah next is
miso miso typical um and there's a whole you know basically it's another basic type of broth that
they do yeah in parts of japan so sometimes they have tonkotsu which is the thick pork well that's
the next one they have on here and just. They have a tonkotsu one.
But they also have miso broths, which are lighter.
Okay.
Not as thick.
They're lighter, and it's just miso flavored.
What is miso then?
So what constitutes miso sauce?
Miso is a paste made with fermented soybeans.
Right.
And salt.
It's very salty.
Yeah, I like it.
And miso soup, you know, if you go and eat sushi, which is obviously raw fish and stuff,
it's cold food.
It's not hot food.
Right.
But they often put a little bowl of hot miso soup on the side.
Yeah.
So that you get something hot.
You know what I mean?
I like that.
Miso soup's very nice.
It's very comforting, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ooh, it's cozy.
Yeah, we mentioned the tonkotsu, pork bone broth.
That's great.
Thicker pork bone broth.
You know, not as interested in that because, of course, we've mentioned it twice now but it goes without saying the nissan tonkotsu black garlic ramen is
a is an absolute classic and i've got i've got one in the other room ready to go it's ready to go
good i'll just slap it out i'll just go in my room and the last one's just the last one just
says curry yeah it's just a curry without the cheese just says curry so just maybe it's exactly
the same noodle as that other one but without the cheese. Just says curry. Maybe it's exactly the same noodle
as that other one.
But without the sprinkles.
Without the sprinkles
in the top of the pack there.
Now, when the box came,
it came with a little pamphlet
with a QR code
and it tells you
different ways
of how to pimp these.
Oh, really?
So there's little things
like add this in,
add sesame seeds
in this one.
Oh, it tells you
the pimpage.
Yeah.
It tells you
the legit pimpage.
Yeah, it tells you
the pimpage list. I need to see pimpage yeah it tells you there's recommended
there i need to see this i thought i had it with me i think it's in another bag but i'll photograph
it and send you the images i need that in my life all right it's something i need in my life going
forward with my life i need that in it it's only very basic stuff but they're saying try a bit of
this try a bit of that with it i like that yeah it's often sometimes you're lost you got a noodle
and it doesn't match the pimping ingredients you've got.
You know, like I've got some leftover pork or something.
I've only got seafood noodles.
I feel bad doing it.
I feel bad.
Sometimes I do do it and you feel dirty and you feel like you've done the wrong thing.
It's like when you go to a posh restaurant and they bring you a nice meal.
You say, can I have some ketchup?
Yeah, exactly.
It's a bit like that.
It's like they've recommended this as the way of serving.
Well, who am I to judge their opinion, right?
I'd love to see that.
That was very interesting to me.
So with that in mind,
I've chosen to have out of those eight flavours,
the cheese curry today.
And I have chosen the tomato chilli.
That is the most interesting to me.
Now, does that come with a pack on the top?
No, it doesn't.
All the flavour will be within the cup.
The only ones that come with the pack flavour is the cheese curry. What's that flavor will be within the the cup the only ones that come
with the pack flavor is the cheese curry i think that one's the tonkotsu tonkotsu and the salt one
has the salt you'd imagine a salt pack maybe but then what was the broth constitute on that these
are all mysteries eli will solve in the fullness of time i certainly will just those three that
come with an extra package so what we're going to do now is we're going to go get
the old kettle,
put it on the old
floor, pour out
the old water.
No, let's open
these and get them
prepared for the
water.
Yeah, I've been
saying it's all
going to come in,
but do you want
to do a quick
huff now?
Yeah, that's what
I'm saying.
Let's do a quick
huff.
Let's open this
stuff up.
And to clarify,
the delicious
stick snacks all
relate to the
flavour.
So there's eight
snacks, eight
cut noodles.
Can you hand me
the tomato and chilli, please? Oh, eight cut noodles. Can you hand me the tomato
and chilli, please?
These are such fantastic things.
Isn't it fun? I like the feel of them.
They're not styrofoam, they're like paper.
That's good. Alright, here we go.
Oh, it's two flaps to carefully
peel off. These are fantastic
things.
Now don't open it the full way. I know, halfway.
Oh, there's a little face. Oh, there's two flaps.
Are these...
I've never seen that.
And it's got a little cat's face on.
Oh, my God.
Yay!
And the two flaps make ears.
Maybe they've modified it.
They make ears.
I've never seen that before.
Is that what they've been doing for years?
I don't know.
Maybe this is just for this.
Special edition, 50th anniversary fun thing.
Maybe.
Oh, I've broken it
but never mind
he's drooling
my cat
look he's all hungry
yeah so is mine
same cat
oh same cat
alright
have a hoof
oh this smells nice
this smells like
very tomato
meaty bones
look there's actually
some bits of
sort of dehydrated tofu
I can see
sitting on the surface there
yours smells quite fresh
oh wow
that curry smells so good.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
I'm starving.
Let's get to the kettle machine for boiling.
Diddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-iddle.
And we're back.
The water has been poured.
The noodle has been softened.
The sauce packs have been prepared
for sprinkles.
And it's been stirred.
Now we had a huff.
Did we mention
the kitty cat ears?
Yeah, we did, didn't we?
We got excited about that.
That is a great little thing.
Two flaps are better than one
when holding the lid down.
They are,
because there's always an issue
with this style of noodle.
It says something
on the fucking lid.
This spicy tomato,
chilli tomato
just looks to be
a total classic.
Shall I taste this while you...
If you want, mate. I'm going to go in and taste the chilli tomato. I'm going to be a total classic. Shall I taste this while you... If you want, mate.
I'm going to go in and taste the chili tomato.
I'm going to scan the cat face.
Noodles are flat noodles rather than round, for anyone wondering.
I think they're standard.
It smells delicious.
Real tomatoey broth.
And I'm going to have a bite of the noodles now.
He's going in.
Just a delicious noodle, Paul.
I'm getting the tomato.
The cat says,
follow us on our official Twitter account.
It's about killing time.
Pood Panoodle.
Is the character called Panoodle?
Maybe, but she's a lovely little kitten.
Lovely little kitten who says,
it's killing time or something.
I'm just going to take some of this
tomato and chilli broth now, Paul.
The noodle's delicious.
Oh, I've got to sprinkle my cheese on.
You've got to sprinkle your cheese pack
on your cheese curry. I nearly went in without's delicious. Oh, I've got to sprinkle my cheese on. You've got to sprinkle your cheese pack on your cheese curry.
I nearly went in without doing that.
Honestly, that is so nice.
What kind of note are you getting?
Salty, tomatoey, like the umami of tomato.
Yeah.
And there's little dehydrated bits of tomato
and sweet corn in there.
Gives it a bit of texture.
Yeah.
Have a sniff of my cheese.
Sniff my cheese.
Yeah, it's very footy.
It's very footy.
Yeah.
Right, I'm sprinkling it. There we go. Little bits of sweet corn in here. Oh, it's very footy. It's very footy. Right, I'm sprinkling it.
There we go.
Little bits of sweet corn in there.
Oh, it's all proper shavings.
Yeah, and then it goes on top.
God, taste it.
I'm going in.
I like the tomato and chilli.
Now he's taken a good old little bite of the...
Is that good?
What are you getting there on the cheese curry?
It's not like a strong curry.
No.
It's very, like a very light, it's very like a very light you know
like a chip shop curry yeah it's like a light chip shop curry that is the japanese style curry
isn't it it's like a katsu isn't a very spicy curry is it oh it's a little sweet as well
not too much spice the cheese doesn't really have an effect but you can tense it basically
dissolves in completely it does but i think the sauce has a bit of cheese in itself a little bit
right because i'm getting a kind of soft umami-ish
aftertaste.
It's the mouth feel,
isn't it?
The sort of milky,
almost mouth-covering,
do you know what I mean?
That's what the cheese
does, doesn't it?
It sort of covers the
mouth.
Are you going to have
a little sip of the
broth?
Oh, we should.
Oh, mate, this is
lovely.
Then we're going to
swap over and have a
little taste of each
other's.
Make me giggle.
And there's little
bits, aren't there?
There's little fake meaty bits.
Yeah, fake meaty bits.
And they're very good.
Oh, that's also delicious.
The tomato and chilli.
Oh, God.
It's really good, isn't it?
Yeah.
What is it?
It's fresh.
It's got like a kind of hot salad feel to it.
I don't know how to explain it.
Yes, yes.
It's a sort of garden-y taste of the tomato.
Very good.
And I've noticed, it does seem a bit thicker, the curry one, doesn't it?
Yeah, I think it has to be, though, doesn't it?
Oh, my God.
Isn't that gorgeous?
Now, give me back a one.
It's mine.
I'm just going to have one sip of the broth.
All right.
Sipping my broth.
Oh, God.
And I miss a new.
That is.
Like the desert misses the sun.
That is.
Isn't that great?
Fucking lovely, man. That curry one.
Right.
You lot can fuck off.
We're going to eat
this now.
Oh.
So there's six more
left, Eli.
You're going to eat
those at some point.
Bring a report back to
us, are you?
You promise?
I promise to do that,
Paul.
I can't wait.
This is honestly one of
the best moments of my
noodle career so far.
This might be my
favourite eating thing we've ever done on the podcast
because nothing outwardly goes,
this is going to be horrible or out of date or disgusting.
It's like, this is just nice comfort food, isn't it?
Yeah, it's delicious.
Now, Paul, the problem is,
I don't know what to expect from the sodas later on in this episode.
I don't know what to expect.
Because you don't expect them to be disgusting
because they wouldn't want to put something out that was disgusting do you see what i mean not unlike you know you've got all these
novelty sodas now which again are these candy american candy stores which are like butter
soda or you know pickled soda or whatever and it doesn't really matter if they're a bit disgusting
because it's all about the novelty now with these i think what are you expecting well these are
limited edition these are not meant to be mass sold, I don't think.
I think what we're going to get here is a base
soda flavour with a hint
of the cooked noodle sauce.
Yeah, but remaining a sweet
thing. Yeah.
The seafood one is the one that's really
puzzling me. Is it going to be fishy?
We're going to find out and I hope you stay to
listen as we delve into those
drinks a little bit later in the
podcast meanwhile i'm gonna finish off this but yeah but seriously can you lot fuck off while we
finish this stuff please see you in a bit If you really care I'm a great believer
Only this won't survive
Only this won't survive
Only this won't survive
Well, that was...
I'd like a score out of 10 for your curry cheese ramen cup noodle, Paul.
You know, it's interesting because, you know,
none of these flavours certainly are going to blow the doors off.
But what they are, apparently...
What about on the other end?
When they come out on the other end, they're going to blow the doors off.
Go on.
Blow out your arse.
No, what does that mean?
Well, the doors of your arse.
The doors of my arse.
Open the doors of your arse and look inside! The doors of my arse? Open the doors of your arse
and look inside!
The doors of my arse
are more like saloon doors,
you know,
in a western
where they bash
and then flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap.
Yeah, but if a very strong cowboy
came out very fast,
perhaps someone has stolen
his horse or something
and he runs out very fast,
all guns blazing.
Yeah.
Yeah, what else is he doing?
God.
A cowboy bashes in the back door.
And then what happens?
He's the quickest drawer in the West, is he?
That's what I'm saying.
Your doors could have been blown out by an angry cowboy.
Yeah, it happens.
So I would give that out of 10, I would give that a 7.
Really?
Yeah, well, I haven't tasted all the others to compare,
but in terms of, like, flavour, beautiful,
that could do with a little bit more cheese
or certainly a little bit more extra pimping.
Okay, you got a bit bored by the end of the jug, you think?
Not so much bored, but it needed something else,
something that isn't necessary,
but something I would like to add.
I don't know what that would be.
The point is, we were eating a plain noodle,
maybe some spring onions in it, you know what I i mean people who know me know i would never go even a pot noodle yeah i'll never eat a pure plain i've got a pimp you've got to do at
least some spring onions yeah at the basic level that's what i'm saying do you know i mean but
we're doing that for science today we're just going to taste these so don't basics you shouldn't
really knock a point off just because it didn't have any spring onions in no i'm giving it seven
because i think it's an all-rounder, but it didn't blow me away.
I wasn't, oh, you know what I mean?
It's like, this is unusual and new and delicious.
It was just a solid seven.
It's good.
Nice chip-chop curry flavour there.
Yeah.
It could have been a bit stronger, actually, because it was a bit more meaty broth than it was curry.
Okay.
Wow, a lot of criticism of the noodle coming out now.
You want me to take this seriously, don't you?
Otherwise they think we're in the
eyeing grip of Nissen
and we're just pipping their stuff. No, we are not. We are independent
thinkers and we can make our own minds up.
Now, I tried the chilli tomato.
Yeah.
What was so alluring about it?
It was salty, real umami
tomato flavour.
Bit spicy, but not too spicy. It was salty, real umami tomato flavour. Bit spicy.
But not too spicy.
It was a salty umami treat from beginning to end, Paul.
The soya bits were very chickeny.
Yeah.
Very nice, adding that texture.
Little bits of dehydrated cabbage in there.
Bit more chew to it.
There was some chew.
There was some texture variation.
Yeah.
As you get to the bottom,
ooh, you're looking for those little soy bits.
Little bits.
You know what I mean?
Ooh, there's a little nugget of soy. Prize that out. to the bottom. Oh, you're looking for those little soy bits. You know what I mean?
Oh, there's a little nugget of soy.
Prize that out.
Sup the broth.
And then I sup the broth, and the broth was lovely.
Absolutely lovely.
And I'm going to go 8.5, I think. Wow.
That is a noodle I would enjoy again and again.
Can't go wrong with that.
And also, I like it because it's meat-type neutral.
So you could have that with a prawn-type meat.
Yeah, true.
Or you could have it with a beef-type meat, a pork-type meat.
Everyone's meat.
A pork-type meat, a pork-type meat, a pork-type meat.
Do you know what I'm saying, though?
Everybody wants a little pork-type meat.
Because I did mention the dilemma earlier today
when you've got a pimping ingredient list
that doesn't go with any of the noodles you've got in your deck.
No.
You know what I'm saying?
No, it doesn't.
So that will overcome that problem. So like, that will
overcome that problem. Lovely noodle.
Delicious noodle. Wow.
Hot stuff, mama. You can't
believe it. I can't believe it.
But now we're going to move on to the
umebo sticks.
Ah, because it's like umami,
isn't it? Is it? Well, the beginning of the word
is similar. It means delicious stick.
Delicious stick. Oh yes, umami means delicious. It is the same it? Is it? Well, the beginning of the word is similar. It means delicious stick. Delicious stick.
Oh, yes.
Umami means delicious.
It is the same root.
Is it?
Doesn't umami mean delicious mouthfeel, doesn't it?
Umami means delicious taste or whatever.
Something myocardial.
Yeah, so it is.
It's related.
Good.
We're learning stuff here.
So we're going to try the delicious sticks.
Now, I think we should start with the flavours that we just ate.
Okay.
So we can know as a profile how similar they are.
I've got it here ready to go, Paul.
And therefore, we'll have an idea about how similar the sticks are to the other cut noodles.
The artwork on these is fucking beautiful, I have to say.
I'm going to take a picture of these as well.
I've got, there's pumpkins, Halloween pumpkins on this one.
So we've got these delicious sticks.
You're going to try your chili.
Did you find out who this character is?
Because he's on all of them.
I don't know.
Maybe it's the logo for the actual delicious stick himself. And now he's pimping cooked noodle brown.
It's like a little cat sort of thing.
Is this that poo noodle thing?
Is it the same guy?
Must be.
I don't know.
That had cat ears.
No, it's not.
It's a different character.
But he is on all of these.
He's on all.
He's on all of them in different guises.
Fantastic artwork on these delicious sticks, Paul.
Yeah, he's grating cheese onto mine.
And there's a man with a cheese head pointing at it like,
he's grating my sister's head onto his curry.
On this chilli tomato one
he's being pursued
by a pumpkin
and a witch.
I wonder why they
went with that route
because it's a Halloween
feel isn't it?
Oh is it a witch
or it's like a witch chilli
maybe?
Maybe a devil chilli dog.
Devil chilli.
Devil chilli.
I'm opening this.
Here we go.
It does smell like
the cut noodle.
It smells exactly like it.
Yeah the frittery
half coming out
remember to pinch it off
and not
and bite it
because we have to give
some of this to your flat mate
because he wants some
so I'm going to
oh it looks like
a monster munch finger
it also looks like
those fish sausages
with holes in
that they have
oh fuck it went everywhere now
bollocks
I took the too small
a bit off
anyway it doesn't matter
we made a mess Paul
now that tastes very different to the noodle really much sweeter We made a mess, Paul.
Now, that tastes very different to the noodle.
Really?
Much sweeter.
It's almost like a seaweed-y flavour. Oh, really?
Yeah.
Weird.
This tastes very much like what I just ate.
Does it?
But obviously with the Monster Munchie textile.
But sweeter.
A little bit sweeter.
These are all a lot sweeter.
These have got sugar in.
Oh, you're right.
It's much more like... More sweet. Both of those things. Much are all a lot sweeter. These have got sugar in. Oh, you're right. It's much more like...
More sweet, both of those things.
Much sweeter than the noodle flavours.
Which is kind of to be expected,
but the chilli tomato one,
almost completely different flavour profile altogether.
At least you can sense the curry,
you know, the cheesy curry flavour with the one I had.
I'm going to go on and taste the tonkotsu, Paul.
And this has our character singing in a punk band.
And the pigs are on the other instruments.
There's a pig playing electric guitar and one who's playing the drums in the back.
Oh, it's a bit rock and roll.
Yeah, very good.
I'm going to go with the regular cup noodle and just see what we get out of that.
Very little huff, but I guess tonkotsu just means pork broth, so there's not much.
Now, make sure you try and break it further down the thing.
I've done that nicely oh this smell has a
this smells really artificial
and weird
does it?
this smells a bit
I can't even explain it
this smells a bit like an abattoir
like pork slime
this is a bit more like
oh what is that smell
it's so weird
let me smell it
smell it
what do you think it is?
you know what I mean
it's like familiar
but I can't put my finger on it
that's the chicken one
that's the original
you're tasting isn't it?
Yeah.
Then I'm tasting the tonkotsu.
Subtler.
Here I go.
What's that like?
Doesn't like it.
It's both nice and really horrible.
I can't explain it.
You see, I couldn't even tell you it was like a cup noodle because it's not.
It's a bit pooey.
Yes, it's a bit baby's nappy, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That's strange, isn't it?
But it's not horrible.
It's not that unpleasant.
But it's got dirty shit baby nappy taste.
Lovely.
This tonkotsu one, very subtle compared to the others.
And really nice.
Do it on the table so the crumbs don't go anywhere.
All right, I'm just going to snip it off now.
I'm enjoying this though, Paul, I have to say.
I've never seen you this happy.
Oh, yeah.
The tonkotsu, what do you think?
Nice.
It's a bit like a frazzle.
Yeah.
A little bit like a frazzle.
Yeah, but there's all the stuff going on in it, though.
Now, I'm just going to move forward, Paul,
to the normal curry.
Right.
I could taste the cheese.
Again, you have to congratulate them
on the detail in the flavour.
They just seem to be ahead.
This guy is sprinkling a little bit of salt on some peas.
Yes, you're doing the salt one, and I have the curry,
and it is just our character, and he's just making a big bowl of curry.
What did the last guy do on my wrapper?
I didn't look.
The chicken guy.
It was just a normal guy coming out of a pot.
No, he is the pot noodle. Yeah, he was coming out of the lid. Yeah, he is. It smells of look. The chicken guy. Oh, it was just a normal guy coming out of a pot. No, he is the pot noodle.
Yeah, he was coming out of the lid.
Yeah, he is.
It smells of curry,
the curry one.
This is not what I thought
it was going to smell like
or look like.
Sniff that.
I know you've eaten now.
Oh, that's lovely.
What was that one again?
The curry.
Very sweet.
I think these are sweet.
These delicious sticks are sweet.
And you know what?
Snacks that would be more salty
in the West
are often sweet in Japan,
aren't they?
Crisps and things. Do you know what I mean? Now would be more salty in the West are often sweet in Japan, aren't they? Crisps and things.
Do you know what I mean?
Now this, to me, is a very strong soy sauce feel to it.
That must be what it is then, yeah.
Yeah.
It's got a more marmite-y smell, almost.
Almost, yeah.
But it's almost... It's a curry one.
It's a curry one for you.
Oh, thank you.
It's almost chocolatey.
I've just got a little ring of this.
I've heard that rumour.
You've heard the rumour
that I have a small arsehole.
Is that the rumour
you've heard?
That I started.
Who would even know that?
Me, because I started it.
Oh, yeah.
The salt one.
Again, I like that.
The curry.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a bad boy, isn't it?
That's a really rich
curry flavour, isn't it?
It really is.
I kind of wish the cheese curry
had that, because it doesn't.
It's stronger somehow, isn't it? It is stronger. I kind of wish the cheese curry had that, because it doesn't. It's stronger somehow, isn't it?
It is stronger. I don't know what... Sweeter. And maybe the
cheese curry one was a bit more
offset from the curry flavouring, because it was a bit more
cheesy, rich, creamy.
Also, yes, it's the creamy. And if you think about
it, because when you eat a hot chilli, they say
drink milk, don't drink water, because it coats
the receptors in your taste buds.
The cheese must be having an effect
in that dish. Do you see what I mean? Takes the edge off. Takes the edge off your taste buds. Yeah. The cheese must be having an effect in that dish.
Do you see what I mean?
Takes the edge off.
Takes the edge off.
Fair enough.
Dulls the spices, maybe.
Dulls the spices,
but by giving it a milky coating on your tongue.
It was great.
We both looked at each other,
knew exactly where that was going to go.
I just skipped to laughing about it.
Anyway, so you're going to try the seafood one,
which I can't try.
And then I've got,
what's the one I've got left?
He's being attacked
by a Mexican wrestling squid
on mine.
Is this the tonkatsu one?
I've just thought,
what's this one?
No, that is,
we've got classic seafood,
curry, chili, salt, cheese,
miso.
Oh, it's miso.
Miso.
It must be the miso.
Yes.
Now I'd like to see
how the miso difference
from just the salt one. Oh yeah, it is the miso because the little creature is holding a little bowl of soup. A little bowl of miso. Yes. Now, I'd like to see how the miso differs from just the salt one.
Oh, yeah, it is the miso because the little creature's holding a little bowl of soup.
A little bowl of miso soup there.
But look, he looks like a Mexican wrestler who is known as El Squid or something.
Oh, yeah.
And he's tackling the creature from behind with his tentacle.
He's got a little S on his forehead.
He's really like a superhero cephalopod.
Maybe that's what the fish is involved in the dishes is squid.
Well, you know, like
I say, that's part of
seafood.
Yeah, that's true.
But it's quite a more
prevalent part.
It's food from the
sea is all it means,
Paul.
Right.
Miso smells really
sweet, almost like a
boiled sweet rather
than anything miso-y.
Can I have a
snack on it?
Yeah.
What do you think?
It's got a really
kind of sweet shoppy
feel to it.
It's hard to explain.
That to me smells
of miso.
I like it.
I'm going to smell the fish. Can you smell the fish? I can smell it. Don't smell to explain. That to me smells of miso. I like it. I'm going to smell the fish.
Can you smell the fish? I can smell it.
Don't smell too hard because the particles
go up your nose and inflate you.
I'll have a big old nose on. Oh no.
That is proper deck sweepings.
Oh no. Here we go.
Oh no. Do you know what that smells like
exactly? Scampi fries. No.
Do you know when you have fish and you feed it fish food?
Yes. It smells like fish food. It's the cheap food. It smells like fish food.
Right. Well you can enjoy that.
I'm going to enjoy the miso one.
Here we go.
Okay.
It's surprisingly sweet, that one.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Surprisingly sweet.
The curry one was very sweet as well.
Sorry.
Right, I'm going to taste this fish one.
Good times.
What kind of fish are you getting?
For me, that doesn't work because it's sort of the sweetness and the fishiness kind of clashing for me.
So what kind of fish, though, are you getting?
It's just that general seafood flavour, Paul.
Yeah, I guess.
That general kind of...
Anchovy fishiness.
It's fishy.
Yeah.
Pond scum.
That kind of thing.
No, it's not.
That is nice, but that is a bit more of a sort of unusual, I think, to my Western palate.
Yeah.
Because of the sweetness and the fishiness.
Did you try the miso?
No, I haven't tried the miso yet.
Because I can't obviously have the seafood one, unfortunately.
But nice.
Still nice.
But just a bit strange on the tongue.
When we're done, we'll pick our best and worst.
Our favourites of these.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Cut a section of the miso one off.
It's surprisingly sweet.
It's got a lovely sweet miso flavour on the nose.
Lovely nose.
I think that's my favourite smelling one. Oh, alright. You can really taste the miso in on the nose. Lovely nose. I think that's my favourite smelling one.
Oh, all right.
You can really taste the miso in that.
Yeah, you can, but it's also surprisingly sweet in a confectionery way.
Ooh, yeah.
Yeah.
The finish is so sweet, isn't it?
I like that.
Yeah, they're all nice.
Oh, they're all lovely.
I would say my favourite was probably the Sio, the salt one,
because it was just odd, the salt one,
because it had this rich kind of beefy,
almost beefy munch to munch taste.
Soy as well.
And the least favourite was the one I could decide
whether it was nice or if it was a baby's arse.
That was my least favourite as well,
which was the...
It was...
I think it was the regular one, wasn't it?
That was the regular.
Which is weird.
Meant to be chicken.
Yeah.
Weird, strange.
Maybe it's like an old-fashioned
sort of flavour.
Yeah, that would be
my least favourite as well, Paul,
but my favourite, I think,
would be the miso one, actually.
The one I just had.
Yeah, that was a really strong one.
Yeah, it's just delicious.
The way the miso,
the salty miso at the top
gives way to that sweetness.
I love that.
Without it being intrusive or unpleasant.
Yes, but that transition.
It's got a lovely flavor transition in the mouth.
Because you know like Monster Munch, it's the same basic food stuff.
This is a puffed corn snack.
But with Monster Munch, there's a certain kind of crisp and jagged hardness to them where they melt.
Much softer, yeah.
They really melt in your mouth.
That helps the flavor.
Yes.
So that's why some of the flavors settle on the back of your tongue as it melts.
I think it's all about detailing in the flavour.
And Nissan have been doing it for years, obviously, since the late 50s.
And wow, they know their flavour stuff.
I ain't Nissan you at all.
Nissan you.
Since you've been gone Away
I've been listening you
Listen you
No matter what
Steaming from the
Body heat
Listen windows
Steaming cause I've got right off
Yeah that's what the song was about
Tina Turner letting off a big eggy woofer
Steaming windows
Steaming from the shawarma gas Ride off. Yeah, that's what the song was about. Tina Turner letting off a big eggy woofer in the back of her car. Oh, steamy windows.
Steamy from the shawarma gas.
Oh, driving with Tina Turner.
She turns around and goes, open the window.
Why?
I've let one go.
Steamy windows.
Something like that.
I don't know.
That's the joke, isn't it?
Bye.
Bye.
We're going to reset now for the big finale.
This is it.
Yay. Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay.
Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay! Yay! Right, it's time for the big finale. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- I will strike you. You will strike me down. But then you will come back with more power.
No, don't do that.
Right, so.
It's time to drink the special edition 50th anniversary Nissan sodas.
Paul, I did a little bit of a research there.
You did a little bit of research there.
Because I thought maybe Nissan already has some experience with the drinks market.
Right.
But none of the products I can see on their Wikipedia listing are anything to do with soft drinks.
Right.
They do mainly noodles.
And a little factoid that I picked out as well is that they've been in charge of the Doll brand since 1984.
What's Doll?
It's another brand of instant noodle.
What's the difference then?
Do you know what my first ever brand of instant noodle was?
Doll?
Yeah.
He's just a frying...
I've just found out I've been a Nissin lad the whole time.
Shut up.
I'm just a frying, gulping, eating, slurping, eating doll.
Noodles.
Doll.
It wasn't really worth that.
No, you just said Noel.
Noel?
Yeah.
Noel.
You said Noel in...
Living Noel.
Yeah.
He should do that.
What, Noel's house party?
Yeah.
Should do what? Living Noel. Yeah. He should do that. What, Noel's house party? Yeah. Should do what?
Living Noel.
Living...
Do you know one thing he's never done is try to sing.
Anyway...
It's time to drink these fucking sodies.
Now, we've done a little research on the fish one.
Yes.
Contains fish.
It does...
Well, so you won't be trying that.
We're getting ahead of ourselves.
So, just to recap,
we were given the Nissan 50th Anniversary box,
which had one of each one of their classic line of foods,
the noodle cup noodles.
We had eight different delicious stick snacks
flavoured after each of those eight cup noodles.
Did you finish any off after with the tasting?
I did.
I had a nibble of the miso one.
I wolfed down the whole miso one.
Yeah, it was well worth it.
It's a good snack. That waso one. It was nice. I wolfed down the whole miso one. Yeah, it was well worth it. It's a good snack.
That was good eating.
It was good eating.
So now we're on to the soft drinks.
And the soft drinks are, well, soft drinks based on the flavours of the cup noodle snacks.
So we have seafood.
Seafood.
Seafood flavour.
Now, we're going to come back to this one.
The next one, I believe, is just, hang on, we've got it here, actually. Let me just
check it up. Curry. It's just curry, this
one. Yeah, that one says curry on it.
There's four of these. Curry, seafood,
tomato, chilli,
and then there
is... Original? Chicken?
The classic flavour. So we've got classic,
that was that one, right? Classic.
That's red. Classic cup noodle in red,
yes. Chilli, tomato, curry. We're making a video of this at the same time. I can see that, yeah. It one, right? Classic. That's red. The red, classic cup noodle in red, yes. Chili, tomato, curry.
We're making a video of this at the same time.
I can see that, yeah.
It's very unprofessional.
So that's what we're going to be trying.
Now, what do you think these are going to be like?
Well, I can't imagine that they're actually disgusting,
because like I said, this is a food company.
This isn't a gimmick.
No.
Is it?
It is a gimmick.
Well, it is a gimmick to celebrate 50th anniversary.
Yeah, so this is not something they're going to put into production,
I don't think.
No, into permanent production, no.
This is just what you got.
It might be quite disgusting then.
This is what you got with the 50th anniversary box.
I can't imagine they have the lack of pride.
They've got so much pride,
as we've discovered from tasting these other products.
They're very brand proud, yes.
And part of their brand is deliciousness.
But maybe this is just a bit of fun.
A little bit of fun.
And so maybe this isn't the most,
but I refuse to believe these would be gross
in the sort of Bean Boozled or like...
Yeah.
Because like I say, there's all these,
there are novelty sodas that are on the market, Paul,
and they're like garlic or like,
and apparently they're quite disgusting.
Yeah, and why would you want to drink that though?
You wouldn't.
You just get it as a sort of party trick.
Nice hot day.
Get me some of that garlic soda.
Oh, I love it.
Vampire resistant flavor.
Now, celery is a soda that is long established.
You know this?
Yeah.
Celery and soda is a thing.
A celery soda is a thing that goes way back.
I think it's a sort of New York Jewish thing.
Oh, like what?
Like they sell it with the root beer or, you know.
Like New York kind of thing.
It's another soda that's there.
I didn't know that.
Celery soda.
Well, we're going to go through all four flavours now.
And luckily, there's an article here that kind of breaks down what to expect from the flavour.
Well, I do want a bit of a prep here.
Just going in because it's hard.
It's hard for me, Paul, going into this, you know, not knowing where I am, what's going to happen to my mouth.
You know?
No, no.
I'm in a dark place with unexpected mouth happenings.
I don't know what to say about that.
So we're going to start with the normal classic flavour.
Chicken flavour.
Now, here's what the article says.
The classic flavour resembles ginger ale
with an aroma of pepper and soy sauce.
So that's what this is going to be.
So you said all of these have a sort of base
that is an actual established soft drink flavour.
With the cup noodle flavouring added in as a soup song.
Well, somehow merged with it, you think, maybe.
In a sort of very amplitudinous way, you're hoping.
Well, we can only hope.
Otherwise, these are going to be four.
We always hope for amplitude on this show, Paul.
If amplitude's around, we hope for it.
We shake its hand and we say,
oh, hello, Mr. Amplitude.
Want to come in for a cup of tea?
Oh, and a little...
What?
Hand job?
You welcome Amplitude in
and demand a hand job.
You've got to give Amplitude
whatever it wants,
whatever it's in the mood for.
I'm never coming around to yours
to borrow sugar.
Why?
I'll just wank you off, obviously.
Right, so we're going to start with
the cup noodle flavour.
A ginger ale with the now
because i know you've said that we need to turn some of these over to get the silt off the bottom
does it say that with this one i mean i presume they all say so i may as well just do it once
just to you know it's like origina shake the bottle wake the drink yes did you ever do that
do you remember origina used to be sort of expensive but now it's dirt cheap it falls into
my nostalgic memory banks as something like Baby Sham.
Right.
Where it's still going
but no one orders Baby Sham no more.
Yeah, no.
Sometimes you get in the mood.
You see an Orangina really thirsty.
Yeah.
You like the bits.
You like the silt.
You like the bits tickling your throat on the way down.
The thing is,
when your only gimmick as a drink is shake the bottle,
it's not a great drink.
That's my logic.
It's sort of like orange squash,
fizzy orange squash
with plastic bits added, isn't it?
Yeah, weak orange squash
with silt in a nutshell.
Right, here we go.
No, it's not in a nutshell.
It's usually in a can.
In a can.
Whacker, whacker, whacker.
Shut up.
Right, here we go.
I'm opening it up.
Get the half.
This is a fizz.
What's a fizz?
There is a fizz there.
There's pressurization.
There's carbonation.
Oh.
Gingery?
Yeah.
But it's also got a bit of nappy smell to it.
Oh, no.
Here we go.
Have a sniff.
You thought there was a nappy smell to the traditional on the large...
I did with the miso snack on the delicious stick.
Oh, you don't like it.
Oh, there's a very fecal back to that.
Isn't it?
Oh, God.
It's got a very dirty nappy feel.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Let's have a look.
It's gingery, chickeny ginger.
Yeah, that's it.
Chickeny ginger is like gravy stock and ginger ale.
All right.
What's the colour on this?
Oh, it's ginger ale-y.
Cloudy.
Just a little bit.
I'm only going to have a little bit because you don't know what's in store here.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Chin chin.
Chin chin.
Here we go with the Cup Noodle original flavoured drink.
Oh, no.
Hmm.
Now, there are notes of the noodle there, but it's mostly ginger ale.
So that's actually quite...
I'm calm now.
Don't feel so stressed.
I thought that was going to be horrible.
It's all right.
It's not disgusting by any means, but it's a bit strange.
It is strange, but what it is, is drinkable.
I think I could drink all of that
I'm not into it
well I'm going to have
another little go
because I quite liked it
weird
do you think if you gave that
if someone came into a bar
and they said
I'd like a ginger ale
and you gave them that instead
they'd go
no I don't think they'd notice
I think the smell of it
rings more true
of cup noodle
than I think
the thingamajig
there's a sort of umami
isn't there? There's a sort of... Well I have to say it's got a bit
of a chickeny back taste to it.
It's got a chicken backwash.
Right, let's give it a grade. I want to do grades for
no reason now. So I'm going to give that a C
plus. What do you think? C plus
Out of five I would give it maybe
a two. So two out of five
or a C plus.
Didn't care for it. Now, what else we got?
What do you want to do? I'll let you pick. We're going to save
seafood for the end because I can't. Do you want to do it now
because I can't drink it and that means the last
drink I'm out. I'll just sit and watch you drink it.
Alright, let's do seafood now. I'll take over.
I'll take over now, Paul.
Let me just give you a quick note first. If you want to know why Paul
isn't drinking the seafood flavour, it's because
he has a deep psychological
problem stemming back to his childhood which manifests in real symptoms. It's because he has deep psychological problems stemming back to his childhood
which manifest in real symptoms.
It's really quite sad
to see someone like that.
I'm just allergic to seafood
like thousands,
probably millions of people
around the world are.
See, this is all part of the,
you know,
justification that he comes out with.
It's a deep-seated thing
that he doesn't even understand
for himself.
Do you know what else is deep-seated?
My fucking desire
to smash your fucking nose
into your head.
Oh!
He's been getting well violent recently, everyone.
Well, you keep saying that I've got some kind of
vagina avoidance issue
just because I'm allergic to seafood.
It makes no sense.
Look at you, dirty little fucking grotty hobbit.
Fuck you.
Right.
So, wait, wait.
So, when we were looking into this,
I wanted to know if I could try it
because just because it says seafood doesn't mean it necessarily has real seafood elements in. wait, wait. So when we were looking into this, I wanted to know if I could try it because just because it says seafood
doesn't mean it necessarily has real seafood elements in.
Paul, sorry.
There's a little picture, have you seen it,
of a cup noodle...
Holding hands with a...
High-fiving a soda bottle.
So they are saying they've made friends.
Do you know what I mean?
They've said that, and I don't know
if that was so successful, the original.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ebony and ivory.
It's that kind of thing. So before you open it... open it seafood now i need to get the silt off this shut up i want to say something so
i wanted to test if i could actually drink this because it might just be flavoring it might not
have anything to really do with fish you know so i looked it up and it says oh i looked at the
ingredients it went oh okay there's cuttlefish pigment, there is oyster extract, and some milk-containing shrimp, which is confusing.
Well, it's shrimp they've recently given birth, so they still contain milk.
I don't know what that means.
In their tits.
Anyway, it goes on to say you should tip the bottle over, but then I started reading on about what it said at the bottom of the can,
and I think the translation machine went off the rails somewhat, because it says,
raw materials may float or settle, so there might be floating bits in this drinking.
Floating bits of clam.
But there is no problem with quality.
So what they're saying is there's meant to be bits in.
Yes.
Then it goes on to say, please drink immediately after plugging.
Opening.
Okay, translation's not working.
Then it goes, slowly turn it over once and wait for a while before opening it.
So that's been done.
I've got it inverted here.
Here's where it gets fun.
The container may be house-shaped avoid storing in places with high temperatures such as impact the container or the inside of a monkey exposed shit you know what i
just got a monkey in for storing and i've got him cutting open on an ivy drip keeping him alive with
his stomach open ready to put sodas in paul. I'm going to have to go kill it. Yeah, you should, actually, because it says,
no monkey or containers.
Please do not freeze.
And then it says, be careful not to cut it off with the edge of a cap.
Anti-scattering Lisa will empty her container.
Oh, you've got to watch out for her.
Because she'll come round to you, anti-scattering Lisa.
And then it says, please cooperate with Lisa.
Yeah, you've got to.
Anti-scattering Lisa.
Who's Lisa?
She's anti-scattering lisa anti-scat
she gets very very angry if you're scattering anything she'll come in she she's like a monster
pull with this fucking fucking blade arm thing it's like an arm but it's got a sword edge and
she's anti-scattering right eli shut your fucking mouth and pour this. She sliced you up, mate. You scatter. Right, so here's the seafood drink.
Now, it says here,
Seafood is a cream soda with a subtle seafood flavour woven in.
Oh.
So, uh...
That sounds...
That sounds...
Really?
Or...
Oh, yeah.
Fully.
It's...
Bad. That sounds bad. Can we both agree, Paul? fully, or. It's, or.
Or. Bad, that sounds bad.
Or, or.
Can we both agree, Paul, it sounds bad.
It's not a good mix.
Cream soda and seafood is.
Can I have a huff of this as well?
You will definitely be getting a huff of this, mate.
Anyway, go on, here we go.
We're going in for the seafood now.
Now, don't get it up your nose because of your allergy.
I know, it won't happen.
Oh, mate, there's a clam whiff coming up.
There's a pure dockside clam.
It smells like a rope on the dockside.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
He's not happy.
Can I have a sniff?
Oh, that's bad, man.
That's going to set you off.
Just clearing the old nostrils out.
You have a good huff on that.
Oh. set you off. Just clearing the old nostrils out. You have a good huff on that. Ugh!
I knew it!
Did you see that?
I predicted everyone.
It's still going!
It's still going!
Oh, that's not for me.
That's weird
because it's almost tomato-y.
I can't explain it.
It's weird.
It's like you get that
pond scum smell.
Yeah, it's really pondy.
And then like a tomatoey kind of vomit.
I mean, I'm going to have to do some of this.
Yeah, you are going to have to do some.
I'm hoping to get some crispy bits, Paul.
What colour is cream soda usually?
It's going to be like lemonade, isn't it?
It's going to be see-through.
Oh, that's very milky.
Oh, mate, that is shocking.
That is shockingly vile.
It's got a hair stuck to it as well.
That's one of your hairs though, isn't it?
That is surprisingly milky.
That's the milky fish water.
That is dirty fish water, man.
Well, better you than me, mate, because I can't be doing that.
Okay, I have to do this, I guess.
Yeah, drink it now.
Oh, God.
He's going oh no
what is that like that's peculiar man what are you getting though what what is it more fish than
cream soda or it's it's more milk milky fish milky fish yeah i'll try again it's not as like
yeah it's pretty It's pretty bad.
Wow.
One more.
Good boy.
Down it goes.
All down in one.
Brave boy.
Peculiar more than disgusting.
Wash it out with that.
Peculiar more than disgusting.
Yeah.
It's very milk flavoured.
Yeah.
There's a lot more seafood on the scent of that than there is in the mouth.
Well, that's like the other drink where it was kind of more in the nose than in the palate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wonder.
Interesting.
So I've got a quite milky and then there's a sweetness like the other drink where it was kind of more in the nose than in the palate. Yeah, yeah. Wonder, interesting.
So I've got a quiet milky and then there's a sweetness
at the end,
but it's just one of the most
peculiar tasting things
I've ever had in my life.
No word of a lie.
What would you grade it out of?
I don't care.
It wasn't nice.
It wasn't nice, Paul.
You know what?
It wasn't nice.
It was really, really bad.
I'm genuinely upset
I can't taste it
because I'm so super curious about it.
Just from looking at it, because it looks like foamy milk.
Yeah, it is.
Basically fizzy fish milk.
Or even like, it looked like, you know when you've done the dishes and they've got the water left over?
It looked like dirty dishwasher.
Yeah.
Well.
No, if I wanted, I'd give the chicken one.
You gave it two out of five.
I would give this one, maybe.
I would give that three.
I would push that to three. Push the chicken to three. It's drinkable. And then that down to one. You got a bit of of five. I would give this one, maybe. I would give that three. I would push that to three.
At least drinkable. And then that down to
one. You got a bit of error there, margin of difference.
Are any of these going to be nice, though?
It's hard to believe they would be. Well, look, we've got
chili tomato and curry. What would you like to
end on and what would you like to get out of the way?
I'm thinking we do the curry next. We'll get the curry out
of the way, man. Chili tomato at least might
be slightly refreshing. Well, I just ate the chili
tomato cup noodle. It was a masterpiece. So here we we go we're going to do the curry one next curry is a cola
base is that right uh let me look it's more cola like with a spicy kick based on a japanese curry
roux roux roux in like a sauce curry sauce yeah is there anything else they say that's it that's it
that's all they didn't say much about the others they're just saying here's what you should know
fish in this one, though.
No, I can drink this one because it's a curry cola.
This could work.
This could be the one.
This could be...
Yeah, this could be interesting.
Yeah.
A slightly meaty cola.
Well, not meaty.
More sort of spicy.
Fruity spicy.
Here we go.
Fruity spicy cola.
I'm opening it up now.
I think this one will work better.
Also, you notice there's a bit of fizz,
but the drink themselves aren't that carbonated.
That fish one was like an abomination.
Imagine you were like a survivalist
and it's after the apocalypse
and you're starving to death
and you're almost dead
and you come across this food store
and you're like, I lost!
Oh, thank you!
And it's only this.
It's like, oh, whoa.
This forevermore. If you ever want this. It's like, oh, whoa. This forevermore.
If you ever want to enjoy a carbonated drink again,
it's a Nissan Special Edition Seafood Noodle Soda.
You're just sitting there going,
I'm dying.
That would be bad.
I'm dying.
It would be terrible, terrible news for you.
But everyone else being dead and the world being ended
would probably be bad as well.
It's probably pretty bad as well.
Here's the next drink, the cola.
Get the huff as it comes right off. Get the smell of oh the smell of that smell of curry i don't know about this i don't know
i don't know about this hand it over have it off yourself that is very yeah that is full-on curry
scent it's got a real curry smell coming off that there's a there's a slight cola whiff, but it's mostly spicy curry.
Dirt.
Again, that chip
shoppy curry.
Yes, which is what
those in England
would probably associate.
That's what they eat in Japan.
It's mild curry,
but was imported from India.
So many of these,
even noodles themselves,
didn't originate in Japan.
I believe they got them
from China originally.
That's proper cola flavour.
It's a cola flavour.
Cola colour, rather. It's a cola flavour. Cola colour, rather.
It's a very...
God.
Oh.
Violent gag reaction there.
Here we go.
Oh, so much...
Oh, I'm getting more cola on the nose now.
Oh, no.
You don't like it?
Drink it down.
No, it's...
Again, it's fine, but there are two flavours competing.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
That's peculiar, isn't it? it you know what it is it's like
okay imagine slurping down an egg and the egg the out the white bit the album album right
i'll be your mom i'll be mom the white album is like the cola right is the cola flavor okay
but the yolk in the middle right is like the like the curry. Right. And what you do is, as you wash that egg back or the drink,
it's like, you know, mostly the cola,
the wash of the curry across the tongue,
and then cola, and then it goes.
They kind of remain separate, don't they?
Yeah.
Is that what you're saying?
Can I just point out that was a really tortuous and pointless analogy?
Oh, I was with you, Paul.
Really?
I was with you.
I just sort of said, it's a bit like cola,
then it's a bit like curry, then it's a bit like cola,
then it's gone.
But they sort of remain separate. Do you know what I'm saying? Well, again, it's a bit like cola, then it's a bit like curry, then it's a bit like cola, then it's gone. But they sort of remain separate.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Well, again, it's all in the nose.
Because when you're drinking it, that hoof is incredibly potent.
Garlicy, almost, isn't it?
A little bit.
There's a garlic there.
It's all the spices of the curry, but then the drink itself is mostly cola.
So it feels like the scent is affecting the cola, but the drink itself doesn't really have much going on.
No, you're right.
Not very pleasant, though, was it?
One more.
One more.
You didn't have to have
the dirt water,
the dirty, fishy,
phony milk water.
Here we go.
This is the
chilli tomato one.
I enjoyed this noodle.
I'll let you open
this one first.
Let me just have a quick
look at what it says about it.
I need to wash out my glass.
It's still got
curry cola dreg.
Oh, okay.
So, again,
cumin.
No, it's just the way
I've sat. There's a cumin. There's a cumin flavour. Oh, okay. So, again, cumin. No, it's just the way I've sat.
There's a cumin flavour.
Yeah, but that's part of the spice,
isn't it?
That's the spicy thing.
I just recognised it
on that last thing.
It's definitely a cumin
sort of finish.
It's almost those Indian spices,
isn't it?
Cumin is a big Indian curry spice.
Again, not unpleasant.
Just a strange thing.
They're curios, aren't they?
But at least,
I'll be honest,
at least they've gone out of their way to make them not unpleasant.
I mean, apart from the fish one, maybe,
which just looks like someone got pissed in the office party.
They're all pretty unpleasant.
Like someone said, all right, we'll do a curry one and a thingy,
we'll do a ginger ale and a thing, and someone, do the fish one.
What?
Well, it's one of their big brands.
Albert, sit down.
Do the fish one, make it milky.
I'll get me coke.
Now. So this one make it milky, I'll get me cold. Now.
So this one says,
chili tomato combines tomato flavoring with a tingling sensation.
So it doesn't really say what the base drink is.
It doesn't.
Oh, weird.
So it might just be like a lemonade with a tomato-y flavor to it.
Well, tomato is drunk in a drink normally.
Do you see what I'm getting at here, Paul?
Drunk in a drink.
It's a fruit that comprises drinks normally.
Yeah. People, Vises drinks normally. Yeah.
People, V8, whatever.
Yeah.
You know, vegetable juice.
People drink tomato juice.
Yeah.
A Bloody Mary.
They'll put, maybe this could be a nice addition to a Bloody Mary.
Yeah, that's a good point, isn't it?
A nice little mixer on a Bloody Mary.
Do you reckon these would be good booze mixers, apart from the seafood one?
Maybe with a shrimp martini.
Shaken, not sick out of my mouth.
Or a clam dakiri or something. Oh, a clam dakiri. of my mouth. Or a clam dakiri or something.
Oh, clam dakiri.
Yeah.
Hello, I'm clam dakiri.
Right.
Now...
I don't know why I found that so amusing.
What's she called?
Clam dakiri.
Anti-scattering Lisa or something.
Anti-scattering Lisa and clam dakiri.
I love her.
Yeah.
They could be superheroes.
They could.
Now, this is the chilli tomato.
I've enjoyed the noodle.
I think this has got the best chance of being an actual palatable soda of the lot.
I agree.
Which is why I decided to keep it till last.
I think it was the wisest choice.
Although, who knows what will befall us.
I don't see how this could be any worse than the curry or the fish.
No, no.
Or the faecal chicken.
Yeah, faecal chicken, yeah.
Open it, give us a huff.
Come on, darling, give us a huff. Yeah, nice fizz. Oh, great. It, the fecal chicken. Yeah, fecal chicken, yeah. Open it, give us a huff. Come on, darling, give us a huff.
Yeah, nice fizz.
Oh, great.
It's very tomato-y.
Isn't it?
What tomato?
Like that same kind of cream of tomato soup scent.
Oh, that's a strange-smelling drink, man.
Oh, that's a strange-smelling drink.
It's such a curious little culinary adventure we're on.
That is a strange...
Oh, no.
It's got a bit of a bin it's like
it smells like vomit to me that smells yeah oh mate okay so the worst for you that smells like
the only kind of hot drop vomit you get when you've been drinking all night and then you've
had a really like a big bag of chips and then because they're still hot in your tummy when
you are sick it all comes out real hot yeah with. With the pitter-patter splatter.
Well, we have to drink this, so come on, let me pour you a little bit.
I wonder what colour it's going to be.
I think it's going to be red.
I hope it's red.
It'd be nice to be red.
We've had all the colours of the rainbow.
We've had cum.
Yes, it's pink.
Oh, and it's quite cloudy.
Oh, that looks terrible.
That's pink.
It looks like it's the same colour as the slime from Ghostbusters 2.
Very much so.
Going to be an odd one.
Oh.
Every time I put it to my nose, I feel like I'm breathing a sick man's mouth.
Should I pinch my nose for this?
No, it's fine. You can't pinch your nose for this.
Just like when we drank that dog beer.
The drink was fine.
That was not for humans.
This is for humans.
And we've been building up to this episode.
Yeah, we have.
So you will not be holding your fucking nose
and getting out of it.
I had to drink
fizzy,
milky,
fish water.
Hey.
Cheers.
Oh no.
Oh, that's horrible.
Really, deeply horrible.
That is weird.
That's weird.
I don't get it.
It's like vegetable juice
with soda,
like a sweet
vegetable juice.
It is. It's like lemonade been poured into V like a sweet vegetable juice. It is.
It's like lemonade been poured into V8.
Yes.
That's exactly very good.
Are you getting any chilli there at all?
No.
No, there is.
It's not like a proper heat, but there's a...
I don't like the taste of that.
It's everything about the tomato taste that I dislike.
I think it's the smell.
The smell and the flavour.
It's sort of a bin, bin smell.
Because what I will say...
Bin water smell. Do you know what I mean? But what I will say for it is it's got a nice aftertaste. That's all right, actually. is getting you. It's sort of a bin, bin smell. Because what I will say... Bin water smell, do you know what I mean?
But what I will say for it is it's got a nice aftertaste.
That's all right, actually.
You're right.
When it goes down, it tastes quite nice.
Once you get past the initial tomato here...
It's a smell.
Yeah, it's actually quite refreshing and quite nice and light.
It's got a sort of acidity to it, doesn't it?
Like a bite.
It's just got a really hard kind of upfront punch.
I think that's the best one.
Weird.
It's weird, though, because every one of these is conflicting.
You either go, ugh, or you go, ugh, either start from...
That one's an ugh.
Yeah, that's an ugh.
And what was...
Right, let's go through each of them and discover whether they're ugh or ugh.
All right.
Okay, so let's start with the original.
The original for me was a ugh.
Yeah, it was much more the kind of... Because it was ginger ale, mostly.
So it was kind of like...
This is not working.
And then what did we have?
I had the seafood.
Just fucking weird.
Yeah.
What an adventure.
And then we had the curry, which for me was a...
Yeah, the curry one started with a wave of Coke,
a big meaty middle, and then a Coke finish.
But with a bit of a garlic on the nose.
Yeah.
And a cumin finish, which is a tautology.
Right, and then finally we had the tomato chili,
which again, it was kind of a uh-huh.
Yeah, it was a uh-huh.
Which is your favorite, Paul?
If you had to pick one to finish.
I might finish the tomato chilli.
Yeah, I would.
But it's weird.
It's kind of like you have to get past that first moment of,
ugh, before you get the nice aftertaste.
Yes.
It's got a nice, it was the most acidic finish.
I like that sort of.
The curry cola one wasn't that bad.
I did not like the curry.
It made me feel wrong.
All of it made me feel a bit wrong.
My mouth felt wrong about this.
I feel like
I've had conflicting information from loving parents.
Excuse me about this, but my mouth
feels wrong all the way. Oh dear.
Well, thank you. That was a very interesting
final segment of this
podcast. What's happening to these bottles?
Are you going to keep them all? Can I keep one in my room?
We'll talk about this after
the show and negotiate who has which bottle.
Okay. And the answer is, I have all four.
Why? You don't have room for them?
I do. In my heart.
Really?
No. You can have them all. I don't give a shit.
I don't want them all. They were too much room.
Well, you're having them now.
All right.
We'll give one away as a prize.
We can give those away if anyone wants the bottles.
Yeah. I don't know what.
I mean, just listen to the podcast and we'll figure out a way to get...
Or just ask me and I might say, yeah, you can have it. Yeah. You know, know what. I mean, just listen to the podcast and we'll figure out a way to get... Or just ask me
and I might say,
yeah, you can have it.
Yeah.
You know, if you really want
an empty fishy bottle,
first of all,
you can have that one.
Second of all...
Keep it by your bed.
Yeah.
And in the morning.
In the morning.
When you've got a bit
of a morning hump on,
reach over,
snuff the hoof
and then wank off.
No, I thought you meant
to get off.
No, I thought you meant
to get the smell on you.
You know what?
I was going to put this video up
to say, look at our channel and how great we are. now we've ended with this with you shouting fishy finger look yeah
look at you you oh come on paul we had a good one today yeah we did have a good one well
all right i love noodles me it was a good noodle special this episode wasn't it certainly was
we've had chili tomato curry fish, fish, miso drinks.
No miso.
No, original.
And also,
if you're wondering
what any of these other
original cup noodle flavours
taste like,
I'll be tasting them
over the next month or so
and I'll be reporting back
on this very podcast.
Well, you've said that before
so I understand
that you're saying it again.
Well, it's not repetition.
It's sort of normal, isn't it?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
I could do some repetition for you.
Right, go on.
Fish water, fish water, fish water,
fish water, fish water, fish water.
This will get good in a second.
Fish water, fish water, fish water.
You're saying fish water over and over
will never get good.
Fish water, fish water.
And if anything, it's a real waste of this episode.
How do you know if it won't get good
if I did it for five minutes
and then suddenly it would be the best thing ever?
How is it going to get better?
Fish water, fish water, fish water. How is you saying fish water any better? You if I did it for five minutes and then suddenly it would be the best thing ever? How is it going to get better?
Fish water, fish water, fish water. How is he saying fish water any better?
You've stopped as well, so you obviously don't believe
you're not even committed to your own life.
Fish water, fish water, fish water.
Why would you say fish water?
Fish water, fish water, fish water.
Why would you say fish water?
Fish water, fish water, fish water.
Fish water, fish water.
Why would you say?
Yeah, it got fun.
Yeah, see?
Ah, there you go.
Fish water. Why would you say that? Yeah, it got fun. Yeah, see? Ah, there you go. Fish water.
Goodbye, everybody.
That's how we're ending this, apparently.
Yay! This is also a food for everyone in the world.
From now on, it's good.
From now on, it's delicious.
First, to your gratitude,
it's a good deal.
20th anniversary souvenir cup noodles
limited edition on sale.
And that's the end of the cheap show for this week,
our big Nissan noodle special.
And you know what?
We've had good times.
I feel a bit sick though.
I know.
I feel really queasy.
I feel like I've just had like,
I've eaten too much altogether at once.
And there's all this.
It's all rustling around.
You know like oil and water.
It's all sludging around.
It's all splishing and squashing up against itself.
Splishy and splashing.
It's all folding over.
Fish water, fish water, fish water.
You know you like the fish water repetitions. No, I don't. It's just I over. Fish water, fish water, fish water. You know, you like the fish water repetitions.
No, I don't.
It's just I can't think of anything funny to say instead.
No, you can't.
That's a good thing to do when you can't think of anything funny to say, Paul.
Say fish water.
That sounds like you're beginning a Disney song.
If you can't think of anything to say, why you say...
Oh, fish water, fish water.
Fish water, water, water.
Fish water, fish water, fish water. Fish, fish water, fish water. Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish water, fish water, fish water, water, water. Fish water, fish water, fish water, fish.
Fish water, fish water, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish.
Fish water, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish.
You know what?
I think we'll go with the Sherman Brothers again this film.
Sorry.
Thank you, but bye.
You can get this.
Well, you'd do that to Walt Disney.
I would, yeah.
You would get your cock out to Walt Disney.
Not get it out.
Just grab it.
Grab it.
Aggressively go, get this, Walt.
Yeah.
Like that.
Fish water comes out my knob.
Right.
It is time to say goodbye.
Thank you for joining us on this very special episode.
We hope you enjoyed it.
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behaviour
I've got a bag full of nonsenses
naughty behaviour
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there's a video
that me and Eli
are going to put up
where
I wank you off
into my mouth
that one I can put that one up if you want just slap it up Paul slap the video that me and Eli are going to put up where... I wank you off into my mouth. That one.
I can put that one up if you want.
Just slap it up, Paul.
Slap the video on.
I've got no shame anymore.
You know what?
The only way you could do it
is if I put like a sheet
over you with a hole
where your mouth needs to go
so it looks like I'm trying
to wank into a ghost's mouth
or something.
You'd like that ghost
to get you off.
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what are you feeling sick
yeah
I feel like
I'm coming down
I had a burp
and it was
all the flavours
it was like a willy wonky
do you want to mix all of them? I'm going to mix them.
No, no, Paul, don't.
I'm not going to have the seafood one, but I'm going to mix
a bit of everything. Oh, and have a
sip of it. I'm going to have a bit of chilli tomato.
Just a splish. Oh, this is
ridiculous. This is asking for it. It's like
Charlie, no, George's Marvellous Medicine.
Now a bit of the regular cup noodle. Here we
go. Drippily drip drop. Just a splish.
Just a swifter. Snifter. And a dash now. A dash of the regular cup noodle. Here we go. Drippily drip drop. Just a splish. Just a swifter.
Snifter.
And a dash now.
A dash of the cola curry.
Oh, my mouth feels bad inside it.
Oh, look at that.
It's got a nice kind of abattoir brown.
All right.
You're going to down that?
Let's see what we get.
That is not a good smell, Mr. Silverman.
It's not.
It's not a good smell.
Have a huff of that.
That's everything. That's not a good smell. Have a puff of that. That's everything.
That's terrible.
Drink it.
That was like your belch.
Drink it, mate.
But in drink form.
Here we go.
This is actually quite a dumb idea.
Yeah, I know.
It'll be fine.
Here we go.
Oh, lots going on.
Yeah, lots going on there.
Now, ultimately, not repulsive.
I will say that.
Well, like I say, I don't think they're going to make something
that's actually going to make you bad, though.
But I've got waves, crashing waves of flavour across my tongue.
It's a bit of curry.
It's crashing up against the tomato.
I didn't like the curry one.
It's splashed back against the kind of chicken stocky thing.
Whoa.
That's nasty.
Nasty.
Oh, you nasty boy.
Do, do, do, do.
What have you come on me lately? Something like that. I don't know. Oh, come on.. Do, do, do, do. What have you come on me lately?
Something like that.
I don't know.
Oh, come on.
Is that it for this week?
I suppose so.
Wonderful.
Then we'll see you next week for more fun and games.
We've got a special guest next week.
Ooh.
Very special guest.
We've been trying to get him on the show for a while.
Finally got him.
It should be a lot of fun.
Join us next week.
Take care, boys and girls.
Bye, everyone.
Thanks for listening.
Love you all.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
You don't have to kiss.
I do have to kiss.
Some people like...
Bye, everyone.
Bye, everyone in the world.
I love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Hang up.
You hang up.
I'll say bye.
You say bye.
I will.
Bye.
You hang bye. I will. Bye. You hang up.