CheapShow - Ep 252: Nissin Tell (The Noodle Special)

Episode Date: October 15, 2021

This may not be the “Noodle Special” you expected, but maybe it's the “Noodle Special” you need! This week, CheapShow dedicates a whole episode to the wonder that is the Nissin Cup Noodle inst...ant meal! However, this is not just any old cup noodle episode, it's a very special one as Paul & Eli celebrate the 50th anniversary of Nissin's world-famous portable snack! Thanks to the incredible generosity of our listening audience, CheapShow was very fortunate to get their dirty little hands on the very limited edition "Nissin 50th Anniversary Cup Noodle Soda Pack"! What's inside the pack? Well, apart from the many cup noodles and many flavours, there are also some tasty looking Umaibo sticks and... A range of bottled sodas, flavoured in curry, ramen stock, chili tomato and seafood! Noodle flavoured soft drinks? This can't be a good idea, can it? Why not find out in this very noodle flavoured episode! All food and drink will be sampled and, just maybe, bring peace on earth to CheapShow, at least for one episode! With HUGE thanks to Ivenne, Denny, Omar, Mark, Thomas, Tiffany, Andrew, Joshua and Gary for helping make this episode possible! See pictures and/or videos for this episode here: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-252-nissin-tell And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at thecheapshow@gmail.com And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid MASSIVE thanks to @Ivenne_NL who does so much for Cheapshow Why not help support Ivenne at her ko-fi! https://ko-fi.com/ivenne Help Support the Kickstarter for Series 2 of Digitiser! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mrbiffo/digitiser-the-show-level-2 And thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Oh, and you can NOW listen to Urinevision 2021 on Bandcamp... For Free! Enjoy! https://cheapshowpodcast.bandcamp.com/album/urinevision-2021-the-album MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm sorry. Did you not even think I was going to notice? I thought you don't listen to your podcasts when you put them out. I just thought I'd stick it out there because, you know, I thought you were stupid. Well, thanks to my hundreds of fans, thousands, nay, millions of fans out there, I was alerted to what you've done. And I worked really hard on that for that first episode. It's been erased.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Yeah, it's gone. I binned it. I got rid of it. Unbelievable. Well, I'm sorry, but I want my podcast back, don't I? It's my podcast. No, I want it fair and square. It's mine now. But it's my only livelihood.
Starting point is 00:00:31 It's all I've got in my life. Please give me it back. I'll do anything. Get up off your knees. It's pathetic. Please give me my podcast back. Think of little Eli. Get your hands off my fly.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Think of little Eli. You want off my fly Think of little Eli You want it back Yes So much I'll do anything Anything Anything There may be one thing
Starting point is 00:00:52 What? I hate you And your fucking noodle posse People love noodles It's just a fact of cheap show You're gonna have to learn to fucking accept Cheap show Cheap show It's the Price of Shade.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Paul Gannon. Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheat Show. And a go and I nuzzle. Hello, everybody. Eli Silverman here. Yeah, that's right. And Paul Gannon's here.
Starting point is 00:01:51 It's Cheap Show. Our poll. Let me do it. I've got it. I've shot it. And then that came out your mouth. It was good. No, it wasn't.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Welcome to Cheap Show. I'm going to do it properly. I will not allow you to do this. I'm just going to edit this out. Don't worry about it. Hello, boys and girls. Welcome to Cheap Show, the cheap pod bastard. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:02:09 No, good. Well done. No, Paul, that was good. Really, really good. You put me off. You're really professional. Here, I'll do it. Hello, everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Stop shouting. Right into the mic. Hello, everybody. Here's how mic technique works. I'm sorry it's been six and a half years, and we have to bring this up yet again. But here's how mic technique works I'm sorry it's been six and a half years And we have to bring this up yet again But here's how mic technique works In a normal volume
Starting point is 00:02:29 Mic technique, mic technique, mic technique Mic technique, mic technique Mic technique, mic technique, mic technique Mic technique, mic technique, mic technique Please pay attention I'm paying attention It's a cheap show, Paul I'm excited, you know why I'm excited?
Starting point is 00:02:45 Firstly, first things first. No, don't derail it. I need to tell you about mic technique. Mic technique. When you shout, pull your head back a bit. I know about pulling my head back and then pushing it forward and then pulling it back. Up and down. Just the tip.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Then all the way in. Now pull. Now pull. Then all the way out. But not all the way out. And then you pop the tip out. You like that one. you like that one. You like that one.
Starting point is 00:03:06 As long as it's knobbing or job-jobbing, blowjobbing. What I tend to find is good is dip-dip-thrust. Dip-dip-thrust. Paul. Paul, before,
Starting point is 00:03:17 I'm very excited for today's episode. Perhaps that's why I'm being a bit strident. This podcast doesn't have any rails anymore, does it? We're off the rails. This show's gone off the rails.
Starting point is 00:03:25 No, there are no rails. We're an abandoned old railway track where the tracks have been taken away. A linear park. It's been made into a nice linear park. Our podcast is a nice linear park. With old benches on old platforms. We walk along those. Oh, there's some ferns.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Lovely ferns and old paving. Can we start this podcast? You know what? Talking of rails, the crossbar of this sofa is right in my cleft. Hello everybody, I'm Eli Silverman. It's cheap show time again. That might give you a cleft tip. One little
Starting point is 00:03:53 question for you, Paul, before we get on to the extremely exciting content. It's a very special episode this week. Very special. Can I just ask, how are we doing this? We've got the podcast back. How did that happen? It's fine fine didn't you lose it to biffo two episodes ago yeah but he found out about it and we had a bit of a chat and he found out that we were doing the pirate yeah he he ended up listening to the episode and
Starting point is 00:04:14 he was quite fucked off so we had a chat and uh we just came to an arrangement and he said he could have the podcast back so what's the arrangement what did you have to sacrifice you know you don't really need to know so don't worry about it find out you don't need to you well it does involve me my contract was my contract on the table in this all i can say is that i've made an agreement with mr biffo and now the podcast is ours again and that's all you need to worry about for now i'm happy if you're happy so we've got the podcast back and for now that is great to worry about anything now. I'm happy if you're happy. So we've got the podcast back. And for now, you don't need to worry about anything. Okay, I won't. I'm not worried, like I said.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Good. So, shall we get that all out of the way? We've got that all out of the way. And say the podcast back. It's Cheap Show's back in the hands of its leaders. Prick-a-prick-a-pron-tay. You need us. We need you.
Starting point is 00:04:59 It's a symbiotic relationship. We're like Venom. A-num-num-soy! If Venom was possessed by Benny Hill. A-prick-nub-a-hoy! If venom was possessed by Benny Hill. A-prick-a-prick-a-pronte. Stop saying shit! Please! A-nub-nub-a-hoy!
Starting point is 00:05:13 A-prick-a-prick-a-pronte. Please! A-nub-nub-a-hoy! Right, so on this week's episode of Cheap Show, we have a very, very, very special... See, in many respects, this is the noodle special you've been waiting for, and yet it's not the noodle special
Starting point is 00:05:29 we expected. Well, it is not the noodle special we expected, but it's a noodle special of a sort, Paul. Yes. Of a very special sort, commemorating the original Instant Noodles. Yeah. And those are Nissin.
Starting point is 00:05:49 That's so funny. It felt... It was funny. I just thought I'd let you talk and see how... And see how you would go with having to form a sentence
Starting point is 00:05:58 about something that's happening in the show. Not good. And you couldn't do it. You are more comfortable just saying Spodnycharov and Mablojov. Now, I don't want Blojov coming into this today.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Blojov, Todjov, Spodjov. Now, you see, I'm looking. The inventor of instant noodles. Well, no, let's set this up carefully first, right, so we can frame this. Okay, frame it for me. A few weeks ago, September, it was announced that Nissan,
Starting point is 00:06:23 the creators of the original cup noodle were celebrating 50 years and in doing so they put together a 50th anniversary pack and what was interesting about it outside of the fact that the pack you know contained uh one of each type of its brand they also had two very limited edition special foodstuffs that were included in the pack. One was a range of corn puff snacks called umeibo, I believe they're called. Delicious sticks. Now, is that umeibo or umeibo the...
Starting point is 00:06:55 Umeibo. The generic term for that type of snack. Yes, because it translates into... I'm sure I've said it wrong. I'll check it again later. But they translate as delicious stick, right? And they have very generic. What else translates as that?
Starting point is 00:07:08 My knob. Cream-filled stick. No one's ever called your knob a delicious stick. Although they have compared it to them because it's flaky and tastes of fish. fish so we have we have eight delicious sticks eight delicious sticks to eat. Each one flavoured after one of the cup noodle line, right? So we have eight cup noodles, eight delicious sticks, and here's where it gets juicy. The pack also comes with four soft drinks.
Starting point is 00:08:00 And those four soft drinks are based on cup noodle flavours. Oh, yes, they are. So we're going to keep this a little secret for now, and we'll reveal it a little bit later on in the show. Now Paul, you may have just covered this but I'm sorry, I was thinking about things. Yeah, you were. Important things. Yeah. Paul? Yeah. Am I right in thinking
Starting point is 00:08:16 these delicious sticks were also a tie-in for the 50th anniversary of the Cup Noodle brand? Yes. Usually these are just generic kind of flavours, you know, but this is the first time the Cup Noodle brand. Usually these are just generic kind of flavours, you know, but this is the first time the Cup Noodle have ever been used.
Starting point is 00:08:27 To flavour those. And then the soda is an even more extreme version of that. Yeah, these are only limited. These are sodas. Do we think they're
Starting point is 00:08:33 sweet? Do we think they're There's a little bit of information, but we'll save it for later. But the whole pack was limited to, I think it was just
Starting point is 00:08:39 3,000 and they were only for sale in Japan. The sodas. The reason we got them is a ven who sent us the suitcase episode and is in charge of the magazines and i create the magazine yeah and i think it's an evil genius she somehow she got him managed to get the pack now she did it with a few other cheap show supporters that i was looking a minute ago for their names and i can't
Starting point is 00:09:02 find them so i'm really sorry but thank you, because everyone chipped in to get this and sent to us from Japan. Fantastic. These are super rare to get hold of, super difficult, and Yvonne worked her dark magic to get them to us today. I thought you were going to say behind off. Well, you know, she probably did as well. Oh, I wish I hadn't said that now. Paul. Yes. oh I wish I hadn't said that now yeah Paul yes I feel
Starting point is 00:09:25 yes extremely grateful that we have the kind of listenership who can procure this event especially yeah get this to us
Starting point is 00:09:31 and then it gives us a head start on other noodle based I mean content that's out there we are the premier UK
Starting point is 00:09:39 noodle podcast even though that was never the fucking intention of this show yes but we are but this just puts the nail in the coffin with us being the top noodle cast i think so of britain it puts us in the upper echelons doesn't it of noodle connoisseurs we will be tasting noodle flavored
Starting point is 00:09:55 special edition 50th anniversary of the cup noodle special sodas on this very show later on we do want to say thank you so so much to everyone who helped to get us this pack and to event for being the ringleader in organizing it as well so this week is going to be just noodles and it's specifically nissen and in no way are we supported or promoted or in fact specifically the the cup noodle account on twitter got in touch with cheap show right on the twitter account saying we're glad you had the thing we're glad that
Starting point is 00:10:29 you're going to taste them and enjoy them we can't retweet anything and support it because theoretically you shouldn't have had
Starting point is 00:10:34 these because they're from Japan I see so they can't wink wink so yeah we are definitely not allowed to do this
Starting point is 00:10:39 by Nissan special edition Nissan soda noodles everybody we will be tasting them later on in the show. Hot stuff. We're so excited.
Starting point is 00:10:49 We just can't hide it, can we? Actually, while we're here, before we end the segment, we get into it. How about you tell us a little bit about Nissan? Because you have a little bit of knowledge about it. So why don't you go on, tell us very briefly why this is so special? Well, Nissan is the company founded by Momofuku Ando. Right. Who was...
Starting point is 00:11:08 A gentleman. The inventor of instant noodles. Now, you say inventor. How do you invent the noodles? So there was no dried noodle. He literally had a shed, and he was like, I need a way to make noodles. I love ramen, because it is a traditional dish, obviously, in Japan.
Starting point is 00:11:23 And he was literally in a shed experimenting with ways to make it quicker so originally then noodles were like always wet noodles you always bought no no they always be dry but they're much be much more like italian pasta so it's like needing at least 10 minutes okay to soften yeah and he just boiled it down literally to two, three minutes. Yeah. And also, depending on how you prepare instant noodles, some of them, as we know,
Starting point is 00:11:51 are just steep in hot water. And that water doesn't even have to be at boiling temperature when you pour it on. I mean, it works better if it is, but it doesn't have to be. Do you know what I mean? Which means you can have noodles
Starting point is 00:12:01 just from a hot tap, essentially. You know, on Chinese trains, they have these very hot taps. Yes. In order to prepare noodles on the train. So it just democratizes a dish. And also it made it, so basically they put everything you needed into a cup and made it portable and takeable.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Well, I don't think the cup came first. Right. Now, his first, he formed, I think, Nissan Industries or Nissan Food Products. Right. Because he had other things going on. It was like umami things he was working with as well. So what, this is 19, what year is this? 1960?
Starting point is 00:12:32 70. 1972? No, it came out, the cup noodle itself, 71. Right, so then, yeah, 50 years. In America, Top Ramen was launched in America in 1970. Oh, right. And that is much more like just a pack, you know, deck. Like we're used to.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yes, a deck noodle. With the sauce that packs in. Yeah. Yeah. So the cup noodle didn't come out until a year later. And it just, again, it improves the whole convenience of it. Yeah. One step further.
Starting point is 00:12:58 You don't even have to have your own bowl. True. And also, I guess, it also became a thing with students and people who couldn't afford to spend a lot of money on noodles well like i say it just completely democratizes a hot meal i think that's the important thing there's something about having something hot do you know what i mean there's something comforting about it but it's funny you know the evolution of it because we've done a few noodles both pack and cup kind of prepared noodles yes and then you kind of come over to this country and you get super noodles and pot noodles. And it's like, what we've done is we've made it more like a stew.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Yeah. It's kind of thickened it. Too much corn flour. Yeah. But why is that? Is that just because our palate is like, we'll only accept the idea of a cup noodle to a point. Then after that, it has to taste like chicken pie.
Starting point is 00:13:38 I have no idea. I have no idea. I think it's maybe because we have a thick, greasy kind of gravy palate. Well, British people are used to sort of Italian noodles, I guess, which is always in a thicker sort of sauce. And that's all I can think of. I guess. Why they think, both pot noodles and those bachelor super noodles, they go for a sort of gloopiness, don't they? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:58 As opposed to the sort of, the Japanese style, which is obviously the clear broth. A broth. Which is a ramen. A miso broth or a pork bone broth you know we're going to be it's all about the broth
Starting point is 00:14:09 with these ones it's all about that broth about that broth no noodle hey okay that song's only eight years old
Starting point is 00:14:17 quickly as well Pot Noodle just released three new flavours and they're styled after these kind of things apparently like this Thai green something or other
Starting point is 00:14:24 a red chilli something are we going to taste those if we can find them and they're in the wild I kind of things. Like this Thai green something or other. A red chilli something or other. Are we going to taste those as well? If we can find them and they're in the wild. I bet they'll be in B&M. Yeah, at some point. I bet they will. At some point. What, they're like a clear broth style, are they?
Starting point is 00:14:34 I think so. I think that's the idea. Nissin are a giant in this industry. They are. And still produce some fucking incredible noodles, including, you know, super favourites love mine, such as the Tonkotsu Black Garlic Pack Ramen. Their sesame one is just a
Starting point is 00:14:50 basic, is a brilliant noodle. I'm talking about deck noodles here and they've had these sort of extremely attractive special edition cup noodles available in Sainsbury's and so on in recent years. We didn't taste some of those and they've got all like pictures of fucking Godzilla on them and stuff like that. That's weird recent years. We didn't taste some of those and they've got all like pictures of fucking Godzilla
Starting point is 00:15:05 on them and stuff like that. That's weird. Yeah, that style, that kind of affects a halfway point between these, the kind of, you know, foam pack, the styrene packs
Starting point is 00:15:14 and then the pot noodle style. Yeah. Because you know what makes it interesting? Very detailed sort of packaging. Yeah. And also what they do is they put that whole sieve thing in. You know,
Starting point is 00:15:22 they put the holes in the lid so you can pour the water out if you wanted to. That has been a more recent innovation. Innovation! And I don't think, I've never seen Nissin ones of those. Those are different brands. But with the built-in drainer, that's obviously for a more stir-fried style. Well, you know what, Eli?
Starting point is 00:15:41 I ain't Nissin you at all. Nissin you since you've been gone. But Momo Fukuharu, an absolute hero of students, poor people, anyone who just likes a hot noodle snack. Instant noodle snack. And you know what? I'm looking forward to this episode because I've got quite the hunger on. I'm quite hungry, actually.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Should we get on with it then? It's all this talking about noodles. What are we going to start with? We've got a proper noodle bonk on. Well, we're going to start with the noodles themselves and pick a flavour each to try out. Yeah? Sound fun?
Starting point is 00:16:09 Oh, yes. So that's what we're going to do. Now, I want to pick one which I have not tried before. Well, let's make a break, and then we'll come back, and then we'll pick one, all right? How about that? Make a break? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Take a break and make a break? Yeah. It's only a game, so put up a real good fight. You're getting really singly. I'm going to be snookering you tonight. Oh, yeah? Pink behind the brown or something? Yeah, remember to pop the pink and do not pop the brown.
Starting point is 00:16:34 I'm going to be taking you, taking you to Stinky Town. Big ache. Big ache? Yeah, like, you know what? It hurts when you put it in.大きなアイコン Paul, I've got a proper stomach bonk on. You've got a stomach bonk on. I have a gut erection. I've got a gut hard on.
Starting point is 00:17:23 I've got a tummy chubby. I've got a big man's gut boy. Well, what that really means is that we're both rather peckish for these noodles. I'm hungry for noodles. You did want to clarify something before we go any further. So, Eli, please clarify the point you want to make about the history of the Nissen. Hugging and Nissen and loving and kissing. Is that the second pun on Nissen we've had?
Starting point is 00:17:45 As many as I can think of. Well, we've had kissing, nissen. What else is there? And a nissen. I have been nissen in your face. Nissen in your face. Nissen in your face. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:17:55 Pissing. There's no famous song called I've Been Pissing in Your Face. There is. It's by Chuck Berry. No, it's not, Paul. You're thinking of my ding-a-ling. I'm never thinking of your ding-a-ling. You're always thinking of my ding-a-ling. I'm never thinking of your ding-a-ling i'm never thinking of your ding-a-ling never thinking of your ding-a-ling just wanted to clear this up he actually momofuku ando the
Starting point is 00:18:12 inventor of instant noodles invented them in 1958 he perfected his quote-unquote he was taiwanese born oh actually not a japanese man but he did found found Nissin. And then it was like... Chicken ramen was the original brand. Yeah. But he invented the cup noodle in 71 to sell it to Americans. To sell it to Americans because he reckoned they didn't have ramen sized bowls in American households. So this was his innovation
Starting point is 00:18:37 was to put it in a... Don't worry about the bowl, mate. We got this. We got the cup. Yeah. So this is the 50th anniversary of that of them being introduced to the west i guess you could say yeah so um i found the names of the people who helped send this pack along so thank you to obviously event and denny omar mark thomas tiffany andrew joshua gary thank you very much you are the a team-team. You are the A-team. You're in the new league of show cheapskates that is a very ephemeral status.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Do you know what's got ephemeral status? Go on. Fart. Yes. No, you're right. I can't argue with that. Steamy windows. Steamy from the body heat.
Starting point is 00:19:24 I love the way in that song that... Tina Turner's Steamy Windows. That it has to be, that the lyric, they have to sort of specify why it's steamy. Do you know what I mean? Have we get it? Yeah, no, we know. You've been fucking.
Starting point is 00:19:38 From the body heat. It's like in Titanic, isn't it? When they fuck in the back of that jalopy. Does it get all steamy? And she puts her hand on the glass. then she goes, oh, it's hot. Private dancer, I'll dance him from morning. That's a different song. I know, but it's related because it's about sex.
Starting point is 00:19:54 I get them confused as well. Private dancer, steamy windows. Steamy dancer, private windows. Sorry. steamy dancer private windows hey sorry uh right so this comes with eight traditional flavors of cup noodle and eight snacks to go with it now what i find funny is this cross fertilization because it was invented for the american market but then they must have sold them in japan as well do you see what i mean or ended up selling them in japan because a lot of these flavors definitely aren't ones that...
Starting point is 00:20:25 You get in America. That you get in America. No, but I get the impression that... They're quite traditional sort of Japanese flavour profiles, aren't they? Right, so here are the eight flavours in the pack. It comes with classic. So when classic, what does it mean? A little bit of soy?
Starting point is 00:20:38 No, it's that one. Is that classic? This is classic, yeah, with the red logo. That's the original chicken ramen. That's the original flavour. So that's what they say by classic, chicken ramen. Look, and you can tell because on the little, with the red logo. That's the original chicken ramen. That's the original flavour. So that's what they say by classic chicken ramen. Look, and you can tell because on the little... On the accompanying snack.
Starting point is 00:20:48 On the delicious stick, you've got a little... That's a chicken, isn't it? I don't know. Not particularly. No, it's not. No, it's just a strange... Maybe I'm wrong. A strange animated face.
Starting point is 00:20:57 I believe classic means a sort of basic chicken broth flavour. Yeah. That's what I believe. Okay, so we got that. Then we got seafood. So I don't know what exactly that entails in terms of what does it mean by seafood,
Starting point is 00:21:07 but you said there's like a fish sauce, which I guess... Yeah, fish sauce we were discussing on a recent episode, weren't we, Paul? And you said,
Starting point is 00:21:14 what fish is it? I do know the answer to that now. Oh, go on. It's anchovies. Anchovies, yeah. So the fishiest of all fish. That would make sense,
Starting point is 00:21:20 wouldn't it? So maybe there's... Fermented anchovies. Are there prawns in it, do you think, maybe? Well, seafood is prawns. It's fish. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:27 It's squid, cephalopods. It's... Crabs. Mollusks, clams and so forth. So it could be anything. Basically, ocean scrapings. Ocean scrapings. Right, good.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Now, you won't be drinking the seafood or eating the seafood. No, no. Because of deep psychological issues that stem from your childhood. I have an allergic reaction. Shut up. We also have an allergic reaction. Shut up. We also have chilli tomato. Now, that interests me. I think I will be tasting that today
Starting point is 00:21:52 because that is something I've never really seen. I've never seen it. What kind of flavour profile do you think that is? Do you think it's kind of like a tomato soupy kind of flavour but with a chilli tingle afterwards? Yeah, I mean, tomato is very umami. It's one of the carriers of umami, along with mushrooms, bacon and other things.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Okay. Next one is... Marmite. Shio, bracket salt. Now, that's puzzling to me. I don't know. Salt flavour. Now, that has an extra pack.
Starting point is 00:22:19 A couple of these have actual extra flavour packs that are outside of the cup. And that's very interesting to me in a deeply interesting way, Paul. Yeah, because the accompanying snack has like wasabi peas with salt beans sprinkled on them. So I'm wondering what that's like. It's salt sprinkles. That might be the plainest of them all. But I will be tasting all of these eventually.
Starting point is 00:22:39 Let everyone know. We're only going to have two today because otherwise it's going to take a long time to eat. But I will, Paul, I'm happy to and I feel it's my duty to taste all of these eventually. Can you make notes that we can come back to later? I'll bring them back to the show and I'll put them on the table. This is the noodle content we like and need. What else we got? We have the one I'll be trying today, cheese curry.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Again, this one just seems interesting to me because remember we had that cheese noodle a while ago. I mean years ago now when we were in Cambridge. That was a Korean noodle, yes. A cheese ramen that was, wasn't it? It was quite nice. I'm wondering if it's going to be a bit like that. I think it was a see you. Jimmy, I probably made that joke then as well, didn't I? Yes. This one comes with a little packet as
Starting point is 00:23:20 well of cheese sprinkles to put on the top. And I believe there was a separate cheese sprinkle pack in that ramen we tasted. And I believe there was a separate cheese sprinkle pack in that ramen we tasted. Yeah, there was. A Korean one. I don't remember it being anything spicy. Was it?
Starting point is 00:23:30 It was quite spicy. And it just, again, the cheese powder sort of adds a sort of a mouthfeel. Yeah. You know, more than a sort of strong cheese flavour. It's more of a sort of a mouthfeel it adds, a smoothness. Yeah. It kind of just completes
Starting point is 00:23:45 the flavors it's not all stodgy yeah yeah so that i reckon that's probably good yeah next is miso miso typical um and there's a whole you know basically it's another basic type of broth that they do yeah in parts of japan so sometimes they have tonkotsu which is the thick pork well that's the next one they have on here and just. They have a tonkotsu one. But they also have miso broths, which are lighter. Okay. Not as thick. They're lighter, and it's just miso flavored.
Starting point is 00:24:09 What is miso then? So what constitutes miso sauce? Miso is a paste made with fermented soybeans. Right. And salt. It's very salty. Yeah, I like it. And miso soup, you know, if you go and eat sushi, which is obviously raw fish and stuff,
Starting point is 00:24:23 it's cold food. It's not hot food. Right. But they often put a little bowl of hot miso soup on the side. Yeah. So that you get something hot. You know what I mean? I like that.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Miso soup's very nice. It's very comforting, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, it's cozy. Yeah, we mentioned the tonkotsu, pork bone broth. That's great. Thicker pork bone broth.
Starting point is 00:24:42 You know, not as interested in that because, of course, we've mentioned it twice now but it goes without saying the nissan tonkotsu black garlic ramen is a is an absolute classic and i've got i've got one in the other room ready to go it's ready to go good i'll just slap it out i'll just go in my room and the last one's just the last one just says curry yeah it's just a curry without the cheese just says curry so just maybe it's exactly the same noodle as that other one but without the cheese. Just says curry. Maybe it's exactly the same noodle as that other one. But without the sprinkles. Without the sprinkles
Starting point is 00:25:08 in the top of the pack there. Now, when the box came, it came with a little pamphlet with a QR code and it tells you different ways of how to pimp these. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:25:15 So there's little things like add this in, add sesame seeds in this one. Oh, it tells you the pimpage. Yeah. It tells you
Starting point is 00:25:22 the legit pimpage. Yeah, it tells you the pimpage list. I need to see pimpage yeah it tells you there's recommended there i need to see this i thought i had it with me i think it's in another bag but i'll photograph it and send you the images i need that in my life all right it's something i need in my life going forward with my life i need that in it it's only very basic stuff but they're saying try a bit of this try a bit of that with it i like that yeah it's often sometimes you're lost you got a noodle and it doesn't match the pimping ingredients you've got.
Starting point is 00:25:46 You know, like I've got some leftover pork or something. I've only got seafood noodles. I feel bad doing it. I feel bad. Sometimes I do do it and you feel dirty and you feel like you've done the wrong thing. It's like when you go to a posh restaurant and they bring you a nice meal. You say, can I have some ketchup? Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:26:00 It's a bit like that. It's like they've recommended this as the way of serving. Well, who am I to judge their opinion, right? I'd love to see that. That was very interesting to me. So with that in mind, I've chosen to have out of those eight flavours, the cheese curry today.
Starting point is 00:26:13 And I have chosen the tomato chilli. That is the most interesting to me. Now, does that come with a pack on the top? No, it doesn't. All the flavour will be within the cup. The only ones that come with the pack flavour is the cheese curry. What's that flavor will be within the the cup the only ones that come with the pack flavor is the cheese curry i think that one's the tonkotsu tonkotsu and the salt one has the salt you'd imagine a salt pack maybe but then what was the broth constitute on that these
Starting point is 00:26:38 are all mysteries eli will solve in the fullness of time i certainly will just those three that come with an extra package so what we're going to do now is we're going to go get the old kettle, put it on the old floor, pour out the old water. No, let's open these and get them
Starting point is 00:26:50 prepared for the water. Yeah, I've been saying it's all going to come in, but do you want to do a quick huff now?
Starting point is 00:26:55 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Let's do a quick huff. Let's open this stuff up. And to clarify, the delicious
Starting point is 00:26:59 stick snacks all relate to the flavour. So there's eight snacks, eight cut noodles. Can you hand me the tomato and chilli, please? Oh, eight cut noodles. Can you hand me the tomato
Starting point is 00:27:05 and chilli, please? These are such fantastic things. Isn't it fun? I like the feel of them. They're not styrofoam, they're like paper. That's good. Alright, here we go. Oh, it's two flaps to carefully peel off. These are fantastic things.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Now don't open it the full way. I know, halfway. Oh, there's a little face. Oh, there's two flaps. Are these... I've never seen that. And it's got a little cat's face on. Oh, my God. Yay! And the two flaps make ears.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Maybe they've modified it. They make ears. I've never seen that before. Is that what they've been doing for years? I don't know. Maybe this is just for this. Special edition, 50th anniversary fun thing. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Oh, I've broken it but never mind he's drooling my cat look he's all hungry yeah so is mine same cat oh same cat
Starting point is 00:27:52 alright have a hoof oh this smells nice this smells like very tomato meaty bones look there's actually some bits of
Starting point is 00:28:00 sort of dehydrated tofu I can see sitting on the surface there yours smells quite fresh oh wow that curry smells so good. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? I'm starving.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Let's get to the kettle machine for boiling. Diddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-iddle. And we're back. The water has been poured. The noodle has been softened. The sauce packs have been prepared for sprinkles. And it's been stirred.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Now we had a huff. Did we mention the kitty cat ears? Yeah, we did, didn't we? We got excited about that. That is a great little thing. Two flaps are better than one when holding the lid down.
Starting point is 00:28:35 They are, because there's always an issue with this style of noodle. It says something on the fucking lid. This spicy tomato, chilli tomato just looks to be
Starting point is 00:28:42 a total classic. Shall I taste this while you... If you want, mate. I'm going to go in and taste the chilli tomato. I'm going to be a total classic. Shall I taste this while you... If you want, mate. I'm going to go in and taste the chili tomato. I'm going to scan the cat face. Noodles are flat noodles rather than round, for anyone wondering. I think they're standard. It smells delicious.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Real tomatoey broth. And I'm going to have a bite of the noodles now. He's going in. Just a delicious noodle, Paul. I'm getting the tomato. The cat says, follow us on our official Twitter account. It's about killing time.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Pood Panoodle. Is the character called Panoodle? Maybe, but she's a lovely little kitten. Lovely little kitten who says, it's killing time or something. I'm just going to take some of this tomato and chilli broth now, Paul. The noodle's delicious.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Oh, I've got to sprinkle my cheese on. You've got to sprinkle your cheese pack on your cheese curry. I nearly went in without's delicious. Oh, I've got to sprinkle my cheese on. You've got to sprinkle your cheese pack on your cheese curry. I nearly went in without doing that. Honestly, that is so nice. What kind of note are you getting? Salty, tomatoey, like the umami of tomato. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:34 And there's little dehydrated bits of tomato and sweet corn in there. Gives it a bit of texture. Yeah. Have a sniff of my cheese. Sniff my cheese. Yeah, it's very footy. It's very footy.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Yeah. Right, I'm sprinkling it. There we go. Little bits of sweet corn in here. Oh, it's very footy. It's very footy. Right, I'm sprinkling it. There we go. Little bits of sweet corn in there. Oh, it's all proper shavings. Yeah, and then it goes on top. God, taste it. I'm going in.
Starting point is 00:29:52 I like the tomato and chilli. Now he's taken a good old little bite of the... Is that good? What are you getting there on the cheese curry? It's not like a strong curry. No. It's very, like a very light, it's very like a very light you know like a chip shop curry yeah it's like a light chip shop curry that is the japanese style curry
Starting point is 00:30:09 isn't it it's like a katsu isn't a very spicy curry is it oh it's a little sweet as well not too much spice the cheese doesn't really have an effect but you can tense it basically dissolves in completely it does but i think the sauce has a bit of cheese in itself a little bit right because i'm getting a kind of soft umami-ish aftertaste. It's the mouth feel, isn't it? The sort of milky,
Starting point is 00:30:28 almost mouth-covering, do you know what I mean? That's what the cheese does, doesn't it? It sort of covers the mouth. Are you going to have a little sip of the
Starting point is 00:30:33 broth? Oh, we should. Oh, mate, this is lovely. Then we're going to swap over and have a little taste of each other's.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Make me giggle. And there's little bits, aren't there? There's little fake meaty bits. Yeah, fake meaty bits. And they're very good. Oh, that's also delicious. The tomato and chilli.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Oh, God. It's really good, isn't it? Yeah. What is it? It's fresh. It's got like a kind of hot salad feel to it. I don't know how to explain it. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:31:00 It's a sort of garden-y taste of the tomato. Very good. And I've noticed, it does seem a bit thicker, the curry one, doesn't it? Yeah, I think it has to be, though, doesn't it? Oh, my God. Isn't that gorgeous? Now, give me back a one. It's mine.
Starting point is 00:31:12 I'm just going to have one sip of the broth. All right. Sipping my broth. Oh, God. And I miss a new. That is. Like the desert misses the sun. That is.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Isn't that great? Fucking lovely, man. That curry one. Right. You lot can fuck off. We're going to eat this now. Oh. So there's six more
Starting point is 00:31:33 left, Eli. You're going to eat those at some point. Bring a report back to us, are you? You promise? I promise to do that, Paul.
Starting point is 00:31:39 I can't wait. This is honestly one of the best moments of my noodle career so far. This might be my favourite eating thing we've ever done on the podcast because nothing outwardly goes, this is going to be horrible or out of date or disgusting.
Starting point is 00:31:51 It's like, this is just nice comfort food, isn't it? Yeah, it's delicious. Now, Paul, the problem is, I don't know what to expect from the sodas later on in this episode. I don't know what to expect. Because you don't expect them to be disgusting because they wouldn't want to put something out that was disgusting do you see what i mean not unlike you know you've got all these novelty sodas now which again are these candy american candy stores which are like butter
Starting point is 00:32:14 soda or you know pickled soda or whatever and it doesn't really matter if they're a bit disgusting because it's all about the novelty now with these i think what are you expecting well these are limited edition these are not meant to be mass sold, I don't think. I think what we're going to get here is a base soda flavour with a hint of the cooked noodle sauce. Yeah, but remaining a sweet thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:35 The seafood one is the one that's really puzzling me. Is it going to be fishy? We're going to find out and I hope you stay to listen as we delve into those drinks a little bit later in the podcast meanwhile i'm gonna finish off this but yeah but seriously can you lot fuck off while we finish this stuff please see you in a bit If you really care I'm a great believer Only this won't survive
Starting point is 00:33:10 Only this won't survive Only this won't survive Well, that was... I'd like a score out of 10 for your curry cheese ramen cup noodle, Paul. You know, it's interesting because, you know, none of these flavours certainly are going to blow the doors off. But what they are, apparently... What about on the other end?
Starting point is 00:33:35 When they come out on the other end, they're going to blow the doors off. Go on. Blow out your arse. No, what does that mean? Well, the doors of your arse. The doors of my arse. Open the doors of your arse and look inside! The doors of my arse? Open the doors of your arse and look inside!
Starting point is 00:33:46 The doors of my arse are more like saloon doors, you know, in a western where they bash and then flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. Yeah, but if a very strong cowboy
Starting point is 00:33:55 came out very fast, perhaps someone has stolen his horse or something and he runs out very fast, all guns blazing. Yeah. Yeah, what else is he doing? God.
Starting point is 00:34:04 A cowboy bashes in the back door. And then what happens? He's the quickest drawer in the West, is he? That's what I'm saying. Your doors could have been blown out by an angry cowboy. Yeah, it happens. So I would give that out of 10, I would give that a 7. Really?
Starting point is 00:34:23 Yeah, well, I haven't tasted all the others to compare, but in terms of, like, flavour, beautiful, that could do with a little bit more cheese or certainly a little bit more extra pimping. Okay, you got a bit bored by the end of the jug, you think? Not so much bored, but it needed something else, something that isn't necessary, but something I would like to add.
Starting point is 00:34:42 I don't know what that would be. The point is, we were eating a plain noodle, maybe some spring onions in it, you know what I i mean people who know me know i would never go even a pot noodle yeah i'll never eat a pure plain i've got a pimp you've got to do at least some spring onions yeah at the basic level that's what i'm saying do you know i mean but we're doing that for science today we're just going to taste these so don't basics you shouldn't really knock a point off just because it didn't have any spring onions in no i'm giving it seven because i think it's an all-rounder, but it didn't blow me away. I wasn't, oh, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:35:09 It's like, this is unusual and new and delicious. It was just a solid seven. It's good. Nice chip-chop curry flavour there. Yeah. It could have been a bit stronger, actually, because it was a bit more meaty broth than it was curry. Okay. Wow, a lot of criticism of the noodle coming out now.
Starting point is 00:35:24 You want me to take this seriously, don't you? Otherwise they think we're in the eyeing grip of Nissen and we're just pipping their stuff. No, we are not. We are independent thinkers and we can make our own minds up. Now, I tried the chilli tomato. Yeah. What was so alluring about it?
Starting point is 00:35:40 It was salty, real umami tomato flavour. Bit spicy, but not too spicy. It was salty, real umami tomato flavour. Bit spicy. But not too spicy. It was a salty umami treat from beginning to end, Paul. The soya bits were very chickeny. Yeah. Very nice, adding that texture.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Little bits of dehydrated cabbage in there. Bit more chew to it. There was some chew. There was some texture variation. Yeah. As you get to the bottom, ooh, you're looking for those little soy bits. Little bits.
Starting point is 00:36:04 You know what I mean? Ooh, there's a little nugget of soy. Prize that out. to the bottom. Oh, you're looking for those little soy bits. You know what I mean? Oh, there's a little nugget of soy. Prize that out. Sup the broth. And then I sup the broth, and the broth was lovely. Absolutely lovely. And I'm going to go 8.5, I think. Wow.
Starting point is 00:36:14 That is a noodle I would enjoy again and again. Can't go wrong with that. And also, I like it because it's meat-type neutral. So you could have that with a prawn-type meat. Yeah, true. Or you could have it with a beef-type meat, a pork-type meat. Everyone's meat. A pork-type meat, a pork-type meat, a pork-type meat.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Do you know what I'm saying, though? Everybody wants a little pork-type meat. Because I did mention the dilemma earlier today when you've got a pimping ingredient list that doesn't go with any of the noodles you've got in your deck. No. You know what I'm saying? No, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:36:44 So that will overcome that problem. So like, that will overcome that problem. Lovely noodle. Delicious noodle. Wow. Hot stuff, mama. You can't believe it. I can't believe it. But now we're going to move on to the umebo sticks. Ah, because it's like umami,
Starting point is 00:37:00 isn't it? Is it? Well, the beginning of the word is similar. It means delicious stick. Delicious stick. Oh yes, umami means delicious. It is the same it? Is it? Well, the beginning of the word is similar. It means delicious stick. Delicious stick. Oh, yes. Umami means delicious. It is the same root. Is it? Doesn't umami mean delicious mouthfeel, doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:37:10 Umami means delicious taste or whatever. Something myocardial. Yeah, so it is. It's related. Good. We're learning stuff here. So we're going to try the delicious sticks. Now, I think we should start with the flavours that we just ate.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Okay. So we can know as a profile how similar they are. I've got it here ready to go, Paul. And therefore, we'll have an idea about how similar the sticks are to the other cut noodles. The artwork on these is fucking beautiful, I have to say. I'm going to take a picture of these as well. I've got, there's pumpkins, Halloween pumpkins on this one. So we've got these delicious sticks.
Starting point is 00:37:37 You're going to try your chili. Did you find out who this character is? Because he's on all of them. I don't know. Maybe it's the logo for the actual delicious stick himself. And now he's pimping cooked noodle brown. It's like a little cat sort of thing. Is this that poo noodle thing? Is it the same guy?
Starting point is 00:37:49 Must be. I don't know. That had cat ears. No, it's not. It's a different character. But he is on all of these. He's on all. He's on all of them in different guises.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Fantastic artwork on these delicious sticks, Paul. Yeah, he's grating cheese onto mine. And there's a man with a cheese head pointing at it like, he's grating my sister's head onto his curry. On this chilli tomato one he's being pursued by a pumpkin and a witch.
Starting point is 00:38:10 I wonder why they went with that route because it's a Halloween feel isn't it? Oh is it a witch or it's like a witch chilli maybe? Maybe a devil chilli dog.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Devil chilli. Devil chilli. I'm opening this. Here we go. It does smell like the cut noodle. It smells exactly like it. Yeah the frittery
Starting point is 00:38:24 half coming out remember to pinch it off and not and bite it because we have to give some of this to your flat mate because he wants some so I'm going to
Starting point is 00:38:30 oh it looks like a monster munch finger it also looks like those fish sausages with holes in that they have oh fuck it went everywhere now bollocks
Starting point is 00:38:37 I took the too small a bit off anyway it doesn't matter we made a mess Paul now that tastes very different to the noodle really much sweeter We made a mess, Paul. Now, that tastes very different to the noodle. Really? Much sweeter.
Starting point is 00:38:52 It's almost like a seaweed-y flavour. Oh, really? Yeah. Weird. This tastes very much like what I just ate. Does it? But obviously with the Monster Munchie textile. But sweeter. A little bit sweeter.
Starting point is 00:39:01 These are all a lot sweeter. These have got sugar in. Oh, you're right. It's much more like... More sweet. Both of those things. Much are all a lot sweeter. These have got sugar in. Oh, you're right. It's much more like... More sweet, both of those things. Much sweeter than the noodle flavours. Which is kind of to be expected, but the chilli tomato one,
Starting point is 00:39:12 almost completely different flavour profile altogether. At least you can sense the curry, you know, the cheesy curry flavour with the one I had. I'm going to go on and taste the tonkotsu, Paul. And this has our character singing in a punk band. And the pigs are on the other instruments. There's a pig playing electric guitar and one who's playing the drums in the back. Oh, it's a bit rock and roll.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Yeah, very good. I'm going to go with the regular cup noodle and just see what we get out of that. Very little huff, but I guess tonkotsu just means pork broth, so there's not much. Now, make sure you try and break it further down the thing. I've done that nicely oh this smell has a this smells really artificial and weird does it?
Starting point is 00:39:50 this smells a bit I can't even explain it this smells a bit like an abattoir like pork slime this is a bit more like oh what is that smell it's so weird let me smell it
Starting point is 00:39:58 smell it what do you think it is? you know what I mean it's like familiar but I can't put my finger on it that's the chicken one that's the original you're tasting isn't it?
Starting point is 00:40:05 Yeah. Then I'm tasting the tonkotsu. Subtler. Here I go. What's that like? Doesn't like it. It's both nice and really horrible. I can't explain it.
Starting point is 00:40:20 You see, I couldn't even tell you it was like a cup noodle because it's not. It's a bit pooey. Yes, it's a bit baby's nappy, right? Yeah, yeah. That's strange, isn't it? But it's not horrible. It's not that unpleasant. But it's got dirty shit baby nappy taste.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Lovely. This tonkotsu one, very subtle compared to the others. And really nice. Do it on the table so the crumbs don't go anywhere. All right, I'm just going to snip it off now. I'm enjoying this though, Paul, I have to say. I've never seen you this happy. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:48 The tonkotsu, what do you think? Nice. It's a bit like a frazzle. Yeah. A little bit like a frazzle. Yeah, but there's all the stuff going on in it, though. Now, I'm just going to move forward, Paul, to the normal curry.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Right. I could taste the cheese. Again, you have to congratulate them on the detail in the flavour. They just seem to be ahead. This guy is sprinkling a little bit of salt on some peas. Yes, you're doing the salt one, and I have the curry, and it is just our character, and he's just making a big bowl of curry.
Starting point is 00:41:18 What did the last guy do on my wrapper? I didn't look. The chicken guy. It was just a normal guy coming out of a pot. No, he is the pot noodle. Yeah, he was coming out of the lid. Yeah, he is. It smells of look. The chicken guy. Oh, it was just a normal guy coming out of a pot. No, he is the pot noodle. Yeah, he was coming out of the lid. Yeah, he is. It smells of curry,
Starting point is 00:41:28 the curry one. This is not what I thought it was going to smell like or look like. Sniff that. I know you've eaten now. Oh, that's lovely. What was that one again?
Starting point is 00:41:35 The curry. Very sweet. I think these are sweet. These delicious sticks are sweet. And you know what? Snacks that would be more salty in the West are often sweet in Japan,
Starting point is 00:41:44 aren't they? Crisps and things. Do you know what I mean? Now would be more salty in the West are often sweet in Japan, aren't they? Crisps and things. Do you know what I mean? Now this, to me, is a very strong soy sauce feel to it. That must be what it is then, yeah. Yeah. It's got a more marmite-y smell, almost. Almost, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:57 But it's almost... It's a curry one. It's a curry one for you. Oh, thank you. It's almost chocolatey. I've just got a little ring of this. I've heard that rumour. You've heard the rumour that I have a small arsehole.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Is that the rumour you've heard? That I started. Who would even know that? Me, because I started it. Oh, yeah. The salt one. Again, I like that.
Starting point is 00:42:15 The curry. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a bad boy, isn't it? That's a really rich curry flavour, isn't it? It really is. I kind of wish the cheese curry
Starting point is 00:42:23 had that, because it doesn't. It's stronger somehow, isn't it? It is stronger. I kind of wish the cheese curry had that, because it doesn't. It's stronger somehow, isn't it? It is stronger. I don't know what... Sweeter. And maybe the cheese curry one was a bit more offset from the curry flavouring, because it was a bit more cheesy, rich, creamy. Also, yes, it's the creamy. And if you think about it, because when you eat a hot chilli, they say
Starting point is 00:42:38 drink milk, don't drink water, because it coats the receptors in your taste buds. The cheese must be having an effect in that dish. Do you see what I mean? Takes the edge off. Takes the edge off your taste buds. Yeah. The cheese must be having an effect in that dish. Do you see what I mean? Takes the edge off. Takes the edge off. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Dulls the spices, maybe. Dulls the spices, but by giving it a milky coating on your tongue. It was great. We both looked at each other, knew exactly where that was going to go. I just skipped to laughing about it. Anyway, so you're going to try the seafood one,
Starting point is 00:43:04 which I can't try. And then I've got, what's the one I've got left? He's being attacked by a Mexican wrestling squid on mine. Is this the tonkatsu one? I've just thought,
Starting point is 00:43:13 what's this one? No, that is, we've got classic seafood, curry, chili, salt, cheese, miso. Oh, it's miso. Miso. It must be the miso.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Yes. Now I'd like to see how the miso difference from just the salt one. Oh yeah, it is the miso because the little creature is holding a little bowl of soup. A little bowl of miso. Yes. Now, I'd like to see how the miso differs from just the salt one. Oh, yeah, it is the miso because the little creature's holding a little bowl of soup. A little bowl of miso soup there. But look, he looks like a Mexican wrestler who is known as El Squid or something. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:34 And he's tackling the creature from behind with his tentacle. He's got a little S on his forehead. He's really like a superhero cephalopod. Maybe that's what the fish is involved in the dishes is squid. Well, you know, like I say, that's part of seafood. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:43:48 But it's quite a more prevalent part. It's food from the sea is all it means, Paul. Right. Miso smells really sweet, almost like a
Starting point is 00:43:54 boiled sweet rather than anything miso-y. Can I have a snack on it? Yeah. What do you think? It's got a really kind of sweet shoppy
Starting point is 00:43:59 feel to it. It's hard to explain. That to me smells of miso. I like it. I'm going to smell the fish. Can you smell the fish? I can smell it. Don't smell to explain. That to me smells of miso. I like it. I'm going to smell the fish. Can you smell the fish? I can smell it. Don't smell too hard because the particles
Starting point is 00:44:09 go up your nose and inflate you. I'll have a big old nose on. Oh no. That is proper deck sweepings. Oh no. Here we go. Oh no. Do you know what that smells like exactly? Scampi fries. No. Do you know when you have fish and you feed it fish food? Yes. It smells like fish food. It's the cheap food. It smells like fish food.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Right. Well you can enjoy that. I'm going to enjoy the miso one. Here we go. Okay. It's surprisingly sweet, that one. Yeah, that's what I mean. Surprisingly sweet. The curry one was very sweet as well.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Sorry. Right, I'm going to taste this fish one. Good times. What kind of fish are you getting? For me, that doesn't work because it's sort of the sweetness and the fishiness kind of clashing for me. So what kind of fish, though, are you getting? It's just that general seafood flavour, Paul. Yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 00:44:50 That general kind of... Anchovy fishiness. It's fishy. Yeah. Pond scum. That kind of thing. No, it's not. That is nice, but that is a bit more of a sort of unusual, I think, to my Western palate.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Yeah. Because of the sweetness and the fishiness. Did you try the miso? No, I haven't tried the miso yet. Because I can't obviously have the seafood one, unfortunately. But nice. Still nice. But just a bit strange on the tongue.
Starting point is 00:45:12 When we're done, we'll pick our best and worst. Our favourites of these. Yeah. Here we go. Cut a section of the miso one off. It's surprisingly sweet. It's got a lovely sweet miso flavour on the nose. Lovely nose.
Starting point is 00:45:24 I think that's my favourite smelling one. Oh, alright. You can really taste the miso in on the nose. Lovely nose. I think that's my favourite smelling one. Oh, all right. You can really taste the miso in that. Yeah, you can, but it's also surprisingly sweet in a confectionery way. Ooh, yeah. Yeah. The finish is so sweet, isn't it? I like that.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Yeah, they're all nice. Oh, they're all lovely. I would say my favourite was probably the Sio, the salt one, because it was just odd, the salt one, because it had this rich kind of beefy, almost beefy munch to munch taste. Soy as well. And the least favourite was the one I could decide
Starting point is 00:45:51 whether it was nice or if it was a baby's arse. That was my least favourite as well, which was the... It was... I think it was the regular one, wasn't it? That was the regular. Which is weird. Meant to be chicken.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah. Weird, strange. Maybe it's like an old-fashioned sort of flavour. Yeah, that would be my least favourite as well, Paul, but my favourite, I think, would be the miso one, actually.
Starting point is 00:46:13 The one I just had. Yeah, that was a really strong one. Yeah, it's just delicious. The way the miso, the salty miso at the top gives way to that sweetness. I love that. Without it being intrusive or unpleasant.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Yes, but that transition. It's got a lovely flavor transition in the mouth. Because you know like Monster Munch, it's the same basic food stuff. This is a puffed corn snack. But with Monster Munch, there's a certain kind of crisp and jagged hardness to them where they melt. Much softer, yeah. They really melt in your mouth. That helps the flavor.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Yes. So that's why some of the flavors settle on the back of your tongue as it melts. I think it's all about detailing in the flavour. And Nissan have been doing it for years, obviously, since the late 50s. And wow, they know their flavour stuff. I ain't Nissan you at all. Nissan you. Since you've been gone Away
Starting point is 00:47:06 I've been listening you Listen you No matter what Steaming from the Body heat Listen windows Steaming cause I've got right off Yeah that's what the song was about
Starting point is 00:47:21 Tina Turner letting off a big eggy woofer Steaming windows Steaming from the shawarma gas Ride off. Yeah, that's what the song was about. Tina Turner letting off a big eggy woofer in the back of her car. Oh, steamy windows. Steamy from the shawarma gas. Oh, driving with Tina Turner. She turns around and goes, open the window. Why? I've let one go.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Steamy windows. Something like that. I don't know. That's the joke, isn't it? Bye. Bye. We're going to reset now for the big finale. This is it.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay! Yay! Right, it's time for the big finale. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- I will strike you. You will strike me down. But then you will come back with more power. No, don't do that. Right, so. It's time to drink the special edition 50th anniversary Nissan sodas.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Paul, I did a little bit of a research there. You did a little bit of research there. Because I thought maybe Nissan already has some experience with the drinks market. Right. But none of the products I can see on their Wikipedia listing are anything to do with soft drinks. Right. They do mainly noodles. And a little factoid that I picked out as well is that they've been in charge of the Doll brand since 1984.
Starting point is 00:48:57 What's Doll? It's another brand of instant noodle. What's the difference then? Do you know what my first ever brand of instant noodle was? Doll? Yeah. He's just a frying... I've just found out I've been a Nissin lad the whole time.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Shut up. I'm just a frying, gulping, eating, slurping, eating doll. Noodles. Doll. It wasn't really worth that. No, you just said Noel. Noel? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Noel. You said Noel in... Living Noel. Yeah. He should do that. What, Noel's house party? Yeah. Should do what? Living Noel. Yeah. He should do that. What, Noel's house party? Yeah. Should do what?
Starting point is 00:49:25 Living Noel. Living... Do you know one thing he's never done is try to sing. Anyway... It's time to drink these fucking sodies. Now, we've done a little research on the fish one. Yes. Contains fish.
Starting point is 00:49:38 It does... Well, so you won't be trying that. We're getting ahead of ourselves. So, just to recap, we were given the Nissan 50th Anniversary box, which had one of each one of their classic line of foods, the noodle cup noodles. We had eight different delicious stick snacks
Starting point is 00:49:54 flavoured after each of those eight cup noodles. Did you finish any off after with the tasting? I did. I had a nibble of the miso one. I wolfed down the whole miso one. Yeah, it was well worth it. It's a good snack. That waso one. It was nice. I wolfed down the whole miso one. Yeah, it was well worth it. It's a good snack. That was good eating.
Starting point is 00:50:07 It was good eating. So now we're on to the soft drinks. And the soft drinks are, well, soft drinks based on the flavours of the cup noodle snacks. So we have seafood. Seafood. Seafood flavour. Now, we're going to come back to this one. The next one, I believe, is just, hang on, we've got it here, actually. Let me just
Starting point is 00:50:25 check it up. Curry. It's just curry, this one. Yeah, that one says curry on it. There's four of these. Curry, seafood, tomato, chilli, and then there is... Original? Chicken? The classic flavour. So we've got classic, that was that one, right? Classic.
Starting point is 00:50:41 That's red. Classic cup noodle in red, yes. Chilli, tomato, curry. We're making a video of this at the same time. I can see that, yeah. It one, right? Classic. That's red. The red, classic cup noodle in red, yes. Chili, tomato, curry. We're making a video of this at the same time. I can see that, yeah. It's very unprofessional. So that's what we're going to be trying. Now, what do you think these are going to be like? Well, I can't imagine that they're actually disgusting,
Starting point is 00:50:57 because like I said, this is a food company. This isn't a gimmick. No. Is it? It is a gimmick. Well, it is a gimmick to celebrate 50th anniversary. Yeah, so this is not something they're going to put into production, I don't think.
Starting point is 00:51:07 No, into permanent production, no. This is just what you got. It might be quite disgusting then. This is what you got with the 50th anniversary box. I can't imagine they have the lack of pride. They've got so much pride, as we've discovered from tasting these other products. They're very brand proud, yes.
Starting point is 00:51:21 And part of their brand is deliciousness. But maybe this is just a bit of fun. A little bit of fun. And so maybe this isn't the most, but I refuse to believe these would be gross in the sort of Bean Boozled or like... Yeah. Because like I say, there's all these,
Starting point is 00:51:32 there are novelty sodas that are on the market, Paul, and they're like garlic or like, and apparently they're quite disgusting. Yeah, and why would you want to drink that though? You wouldn't. You just get it as a sort of party trick. Nice hot day. Get me some of that garlic soda.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Oh, I love it. Vampire resistant flavor. Now, celery is a soda that is long established. You know this? Yeah. Celery and soda is a thing. A celery soda is a thing that goes way back. I think it's a sort of New York Jewish thing.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Oh, like what? Like they sell it with the root beer or, you know. Like New York kind of thing. It's another soda that's there. I didn't know that. Celery soda. Well, we're going to go through all four flavours now. And luckily, there's an article here that kind of breaks down what to expect from the flavour.
Starting point is 00:52:12 Well, I do want a bit of a prep here. Just going in because it's hard. It's hard for me, Paul, going into this, you know, not knowing where I am, what's going to happen to my mouth. You know? No, no. I'm in a dark place with unexpected mouth happenings. I don't know what to say about that. So we're going to start with the normal classic flavour.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Chicken flavour. Now, here's what the article says. The classic flavour resembles ginger ale with an aroma of pepper and soy sauce. So that's what this is going to be. So you said all of these have a sort of base that is an actual established soft drink flavour. With the cup noodle flavouring added in as a soup song.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Well, somehow merged with it, you think, maybe. In a sort of very amplitudinous way, you're hoping. Well, we can only hope. Otherwise, these are going to be four. We always hope for amplitude on this show, Paul. If amplitude's around, we hope for it. We shake its hand and we say, oh, hello, Mr. Amplitude.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Want to come in for a cup of tea? Oh, and a little... What? Hand job? You welcome Amplitude in and demand a hand job. You've got to give Amplitude whatever it wants,
Starting point is 00:53:15 whatever it's in the mood for. I'm never coming around to yours to borrow sugar. Why? I'll just wank you off, obviously. Right, so we're going to start with the cup noodle flavour. A ginger ale with the now
Starting point is 00:53:25 because i know you've said that we need to turn some of these over to get the silt off the bottom does it say that with this one i mean i presume they all say so i may as well just do it once just to you know it's like origina shake the bottle wake the drink yes did you ever do that do you remember origina used to be sort of expensive but now it's dirt cheap it falls into my nostalgic memory banks as something like Baby Sham. Right. Where it's still going but no one orders Baby Sham no more.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Yeah, no. Sometimes you get in the mood. You see an Orangina really thirsty. Yeah. You like the bits. You like the silt. You like the bits tickling your throat on the way down. The thing is,
Starting point is 00:53:59 when your only gimmick as a drink is shake the bottle, it's not a great drink. That's my logic. It's sort of like orange squash, fizzy orange squash with plastic bits added, isn't it? Yeah, weak orange squash with silt in a nutshell.
Starting point is 00:54:11 Right, here we go. No, it's not in a nutshell. It's usually in a can. In a can. Whacker, whacker, whacker. Shut up. Right, here we go. I'm opening it up.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Get the half. This is a fizz. What's a fizz? There is a fizz there. There's pressurization. There's carbonation. Oh. Gingery?
Starting point is 00:54:26 Yeah. But it's also got a bit of nappy smell to it. Oh, no. Here we go. Have a sniff. You thought there was a nappy smell to the traditional on the large... I did with the miso snack on the delicious stick. Oh, you don't like it.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Oh, there's a very fecal back to that. Isn't it? Oh, God. It's got a very dirty nappy feel. Oh, no. Come on. Let's have a look. It's gingery, chickeny ginger.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Yeah, that's it. Chickeny ginger is like gravy stock and ginger ale. All right. What's the colour on this? Oh, it's ginger ale-y. Cloudy. Just a little bit. I'm only going to have a little bit because you don't know what's in store here.
Starting point is 00:54:58 You know what I mean? Right. Chin chin. Chin chin. Here we go with the Cup Noodle original flavoured drink. Oh, no. Hmm. Now, there are notes of the noodle there, but it's mostly ginger ale.
Starting point is 00:55:12 So that's actually quite... I'm calm now. Don't feel so stressed. I thought that was going to be horrible. It's all right. It's not disgusting by any means, but it's a bit strange. It is strange, but what it is, is drinkable. I think I could drink all of that
Starting point is 00:55:26 I'm not into it well I'm going to have another little go because I quite liked it weird do you think if you gave that if someone came into a bar and they said
Starting point is 00:55:33 I'd like a ginger ale and you gave them that instead they'd go no I don't think they'd notice I think the smell of it rings more true of cup noodle than I think
Starting point is 00:55:42 the thingamajig there's a sort of umami isn't there? There's a sort of... Well I have to say it's got a bit of a chickeny back taste to it. It's got a chicken backwash. Right, let's give it a grade. I want to do grades for no reason now. So I'm going to give that a C plus. What do you think? C plus
Starting point is 00:55:57 Out of five I would give it maybe a two. So two out of five or a C plus. Didn't care for it. Now, what else we got? What do you want to do? I'll let you pick. We're going to save seafood for the end because I can't. Do you want to do it now because I can't drink it and that means the last drink I'm out. I'll just sit and watch you drink it.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Alright, let's do seafood now. I'll take over. I'll take over now, Paul. Let me just give you a quick note first. If you want to know why Paul isn't drinking the seafood flavour, it's because he has a deep psychological problem stemming back to his childhood which manifests in real symptoms. It's because he has deep psychological problems stemming back to his childhood which manifest in real symptoms. It's really quite sad
Starting point is 00:56:28 to see someone like that. I'm just allergic to seafood like thousands, probably millions of people around the world are. See, this is all part of the, you know, justification that he comes out with.
Starting point is 00:56:38 It's a deep-seated thing that he doesn't even understand for himself. Do you know what else is deep-seated? My fucking desire to smash your fucking nose into your head. Oh!
Starting point is 00:56:46 He's been getting well violent recently, everyone. Well, you keep saying that I've got some kind of vagina avoidance issue just because I'm allergic to seafood. It makes no sense. Look at you, dirty little fucking grotty hobbit. Fuck you. Right.
Starting point is 00:57:00 So, wait, wait. So, when we were looking into this, I wanted to know if I could try it because just because it says seafood doesn't mean it necessarily has real seafood elements in. wait, wait. So when we were looking into this, I wanted to know if I could try it because just because it says seafood doesn't mean it necessarily has real seafood elements in. Paul, sorry. There's a little picture, have you seen it, of a cup noodle...
Starting point is 00:57:12 Holding hands with a... High-fiving a soda bottle. So they are saying they've made friends. Do you know what I mean? They've said that, and I don't know if that was so successful, the original. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Ebony and ivory. It's that kind of thing. So before you open it... open it seafood now i need to get the silt off this shut up i want to say something so i wanted to test if i could actually drink this because it might just be flavoring it might not have anything to really do with fish you know so i looked it up and it says oh i looked at the ingredients it went oh okay there's cuttlefish pigment, there is oyster extract, and some milk-containing shrimp, which is confusing. Well, it's shrimp they've recently given birth, so they still contain milk. I don't know what that means. In their tits.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Anyway, it goes on to say you should tip the bottle over, but then I started reading on about what it said at the bottom of the can, and I think the translation machine went off the rails somewhat, because it says, raw materials may float or settle, so there might be floating bits in this drinking. Floating bits of clam. But there is no problem with quality. So what they're saying is there's meant to be bits in. Yes. Then it goes on to say, please drink immediately after plugging.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Opening. Okay, translation's not working. Then it goes, slowly turn it over once and wait for a while before opening it. So that's been done. I've got it inverted here. Here's where it gets fun. The container may be house-shaped avoid storing in places with high temperatures such as impact the container or the inside of a monkey exposed shit you know what i just got a monkey in for storing and i've got him cutting open on an ivy drip keeping him alive with
Starting point is 00:58:40 his stomach open ready to put sodas in paul. I'm going to have to go kill it. Yeah, you should, actually, because it says, no monkey or containers. Please do not freeze. And then it says, be careful not to cut it off with the edge of a cap. Anti-scattering Lisa will empty her container. Oh, you've got to watch out for her. Because she'll come round to you, anti-scattering Lisa. And then it says, please cooperate with Lisa.
Starting point is 00:59:01 Yeah, you've got to. Anti-scattering Lisa. Who's Lisa? She's anti-scattering lisa anti-scat she gets very very angry if you're scattering anything she'll come in she she's like a monster pull with this fucking fucking blade arm thing it's like an arm but it's got a sword edge and she's anti-scattering right eli shut your fucking mouth and pour this. She sliced you up, mate. You scatter. Right, so here's the seafood drink. Now, it says here,
Starting point is 00:59:27 Seafood is a cream soda with a subtle seafood flavour woven in. Oh. So, uh... That sounds... That sounds... Really? Or... Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Fully. It's... Bad. That sounds bad. Can we both agree, Paul? fully, or. It's, or. Or. Bad, that sounds bad. Or, or. Can we both agree, Paul, it sounds bad. It's not a good mix. Cream soda and seafood is.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Can I have a huff of this as well? You will definitely be getting a huff of this, mate. Anyway, go on, here we go. We're going in for the seafood now. Now, don't get it up your nose because of your allergy. I know, it won't happen. Oh, mate, there's a clam whiff coming up. There's a pure dockside clam.
Starting point is 01:00:09 It smells like a rope on the dockside. Yeah. Oh, no. He's not happy. Can I have a sniff? Oh, that's bad, man. That's going to set you off. Just clearing the old nostrils out.
Starting point is 01:00:23 You have a good huff on that. Oh. set you off. Just clearing the old nostrils out. You have a good huff on that. Ugh! I knew it! Did you see that? I predicted everyone. It's still going! It's still going! Oh, that's not for me.
Starting point is 01:00:38 That's weird because it's almost tomato-y. I can't explain it. It's weird. It's like you get that pond scum smell. Yeah, it's really pondy. And then like a tomatoey kind of vomit.
Starting point is 01:00:48 I mean, I'm going to have to do some of this. Yeah, you are going to have to do some. I'm hoping to get some crispy bits, Paul. What colour is cream soda usually? It's going to be like lemonade, isn't it? It's going to be see-through. Oh, that's very milky. Oh, mate, that is shocking.
Starting point is 01:01:06 That is shockingly vile. It's got a hair stuck to it as well. That's one of your hairs though, isn't it? That is surprisingly milky. That's the milky fish water. That is dirty fish water, man. Well, better you than me, mate, because I can't be doing that. Okay, I have to do this, I guess.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Yeah, drink it now. Oh, God. He's going oh no what is that like that's peculiar man what are you getting though what what is it more fish than cream soda or it's it's more milk milky fish milky fish yeah i'll try again it's not as like yeah it's pretty It's pretty bad. Wow. One more.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Good boy. Down it goes. All down in one. Brave boy. Peculiar more than disgusting. Wash it out with that. Peculiar more than disgusting. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:54 It's very milk flavoured. Yeah. There's a lot more seafood on the scent of that than there is in the mouth. Well, that's like the other drink where it was kind of more in the nose than in the palate. Yeah. Yeah. Wonder. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:02:04 So I've got a quite milky and then there's a sweetness like the other drink where it was kind of more in the nose than in the palate. Yeah, yeah. Wonder, interesting. So I've got a quiet milky and then there's a sweetness at the end, but it's just one of the most peculiar tasting things I've ever had in my life. No word of a lie. What would you grade it out of?
Starting point is 01:02:15 I don't care. It wasn't nice. It wasn't nice, Paul. You know what? It wasn't nice. It was really, really bad. I'm genuinely upset I can't taste it
Starting point is 01:02:24 because I'm so super curious about it. Just from looking at it, because it looks like foamy milk. Yeah, it is. Basically fizzy fish milk. Or even like, it looked like, you know when you've done the dishes and they've got the water left over? It looked like dirty dishwasher. Yeah. Well.
Starting point is 01:02:37 No, if I wanted, I'd give the chicken one. You gave it two out of five. I would give this one, maybe. I would give that three. I would push that to three. Push the chicken to three. It's drinkable. And then that down to one. You got a bit of of five. I would give this one, maybe. I would give that three. I would push that to three. At least drinkable. And then that down to one. You got a bit of error there, margin of difference. Are any of these going to be nice, though?
Starting point is 01:02:51 It's hard to believe they would be. Well, look, we've got chili tomato and curry. What would you like to end on and what would you like to get out of the way? I'm thinking we do the curry next. We'll get the curry out of the way, man. Chili tomato at least might be slightly refreshing. Well, I just ate the chili tomato cup noodle. It was a masterpiece. So here we we go we're going to do the curry one next curry is a cola base is that right uh let me look it's more cola like with a spicy kick based on a japanese curry
Starting point is 01:03:15 roux roux roux in like a sauce curry sauce yeah is there anything else they say that's it that's it that's all they didn't say much about the others they're just saying here's what you should know fish in this one, though. No, I can drink this one because it's a curry cola. This could work. This could be the one. This could be... Yeah, this could be interesting.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Yeah. A slightly meaty cola. Well, not meaty. More sort of spicy. Fruity spicy. Here we go. Fruity spicy cola. I'm opening it up now.
Starting point is 01:03:41 I think this one will work better. Also, you notice there's a bit of fizz, but the drink themselves aren't that carbonated. That fish one was like an abomination. Imagine you were like a survivalist and it's after the apocalypse and you're starving to death and you're almost dead
Starting point is 01:03:56 and you come across this food store and you're like, I lost! Oh, thank you! And it's only this. It's like, oh, whoa. This forevermore. If you ever want this. It's like, oh, whoa. This forevermore. If you ever want to enjoy a carbonated drink again, it's a Nissan Special Edition Seafood Noodle Soda.
Starting point is 01:04:10 You're just sitting there going, I'm dying. That would be bad. I'm dying. It would be terrible, terrible news for you. But everyone else being dead and the world being ended would probably be bad as well. It's probably pretty bad as well.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Here's the next drink, the cola. Get the huff as it comes right off. Get the smell of oh the smell of that smell of curry i don't know about this i don't know i don't know about this hand it over have it off yourself that is very yeah that is full-on curry scent it's got a real curry smell coming off that there's a there's a slight cola whiff, but it's mostly spicy curry. Dirt. Again, that chip shoppy curry. Yes, which is what
Starting point is 01:04:49 those in England would probably associate. That's what they eat in Japan. It's mild curry, but was imported from India. So many of these, even noodles themselves, didn't originate in Japan.
Starting point is 01:04:58 I believe they got them from China originally. That's proper cola flavour. It's a cola flavour. Cola colour, rather. It's a cola flavour. Cola colour, rather. It's a very... God. Oh.
Starting point is 01:05:07 Violent gag reaction there. Here we go. Oh, so much... Oh, I'm getting more cola on the nose now. Oh, no. You don't like it? Drink it down. No, it's...
Starting point is 01:05:18 Again, it's fine, but there are two flavours competing. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's peculiar, isn't it? it you know what it is it's like okay imagine slurping down an egg and the egg the out the white bit the album album right i'll be your mom i'll be mom the white album is like the cola right is the cola flavor okay but the yolk in the middle right is like the like the curry. Right. And what you do is, as you wash that egg back or the drink,
Starting point is 01:05:47 it's like, you know, mostly the cola, the wash of the curry across the tongue, and then cola, and then it goes. They kind of remain separate, don't they? Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Can I just point out that was a really tortuous and pointless analogy? Oh, I was with you, Paul.
Starting point is 01:05:58 Really? I was with you. I just sort of said, it's a bit like cola, then it's a bit like curry, then it's a bit like cola, then it's gone. But they sort of remain separate. Do you know what I'm saying? Well, again, it's a bit like cola, then it's a bit like curry, then it's a bit like cola, then it's gone. But they sort of remain separate. Do you know what I'm saying? Well, again, it's all in the nose.
Starting point is 01:06:08 Because when you're drinking it, that hoof is incredibly potent. Garlicy, almost, isn't it? A little bit. There's a garlic there. It's all the spices of the curry, but then the drink itself is mostly cola. So it feels like the scent is affecting the cola, but the drink itself doesn't really have much going on. No, you're right. Not very pleasant, though, was it?
Starting point is 01:06:25 One more. One more. You didn't have to have the dirt water, the dirty, fishy, phony milk water. Here we go. This is the
Starting point is 01:06:33 chilli tomato one. I enjoyed this noodle. I'll let you open this one first. Let me just have a quick look at what it says about it. I need to wash out my glass. It's still got
Starting point is 01:06:40 curry cola dreg. Oh, okay. So, again, cumin. No, it's just the way I've sat. There's a cumin. There's a cumin flavour. Oh, okay. So, again, cumin. No, it's just the way I've sat. There's a cumin flavour. Yeah, but that's part of the spice,
Starting point is 01:06:50 isn't it? That's the spicy thing. I just recognised it on that last thing. It's definitely a cumin sort of finish. It's almost those Indian spices, isn't it?
Starting point is 01:06:56 Cumin is a big Indian curry spice. Again, not unpleasant. Just a strange thing. They're curios, aren't they? But at least, I'll be honest, at least they've gone out of their way to make them not unpleasant. I mean, apart from the fish one, maybe,
Starting point is 01:07:10 which just looks like someone got pissed in the office party. They're all pretty unpleasant. Like someone said, all right, we'll do a curry one and a thingy, we'll do a ginger ale and a thing, and someone, do the fish one. What? Well, it's one of their big brands. Albert, sit down. Do the fish one, make it milky.
Starting point is 01:07:23 I'll get me coke. Now. So this one make it milky, I'll get me cold. Now. So this one says, chili tomato combines tomato flavoring with a tingling sensation. So it doesn't really say what the base drink is. It doesn't. Oh, weird. So it might just be like a lemonade with a tomato-y flavor to it.
Starting point is 01:07:37 Well, tomato is drunk in a drink normally. Do you see what I'm getting at here, Paul? Drunk in a drink. It's a fruit that comprises drinks normally. Yeah. People, Vises drinks normally. Yeah. People, V8, whatever. Yeah. You know, vegetable juice.
Starting point is 01:07:48 People drink tomato juice. Yeah. A Bloody Mary. They'll put, maybe this could be a nice addition to a Bloody Mary. Yeah, that's a good point, isn't it? A nice little mixer on a Bloody Mary. Do you reckon these would be good booze mixers, apart from the seafood one? Maybe with a shrimp martini.
Starting point is 01:08:01 Shaken, not sick out of my mouth. Or a clam dakiri or something. Oh, a clam dakiri. of my mouth. Or a clam dakiri or something. Oh, clam dakiri. Yeah. Hello, I'm clam dakiri. Right. Now... I don't know why I found that so amusing.
Starting point is 01:08:14 What's she called? Clam dakiri. Anti-scattering Lisa or something. Anti-scattering Lisa and clam dakiri. I love her. Yeah. They could be superheroes. They could.
Starting point is 01:08:21 Now, this is the chilli tomato. I've enjoyed the noodle. I think this has got the best chance of being an actual palatable soda of the lot. I agree. Which is why I decided to keep it till last. I think it was the wisest choice. Although, who knows what will befall us. I don't see how this could be any worse than the curry or the fish.
Starting point is 01:08:39 No, no. Or the faecal chicken. Yeah, faecal chicken, yeah. Open it, give us a huff. Come on, darling, give us a huff. Yeah, nice fizz. Oh, great. It, the fecal chicken. Yeah, fecal chicken, yeah. Open it, give us a huff. Come on, darling, give us a huff. Yeah, nice fizz. Oh, great. It's very tomato-y.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Isn't it? What tomato? Like that same kind of cream of tomato soup scent. Oh, that's a strange-smelling drink, man. Oh, that's a strange-smelling drink. It's such a curious little culinary adventure we're on. That is a strange... Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:09:04 It's got a bit of a bin it's like it smells like vomit to me that smells yeah oh mate okay so the worst for you that smells like the only kind of hot drop vomit you get when you've been drinking all night and then you've had a really like a big bag of chips and then because they're still hot in your tummy when you are sick it all comes out real hot yeah with. With the pitter-patter splatter. Well, we have to drink this, so come on, let me pour you a little bit. I wonder what colour it's going to be. I think it's going to be red.
Starting point is 01:09:32 I hope it's red. It'd be nice to be red. We've had all the colours of the rainbow. We've had cum. Yes, it's pink. Oh, and it's quite cloudy. Oh, that looks terrible. That's pink.
Starting point is 01:09:41 It looks like it's the same colour as the slime from Ghostbusters 2. Very much so. Going to be an odd one. Oh. Every time I put it to my nose, I feel like I'm breathing a sick man's mouth. Should I pinch my nose for this? No, it's fine. You can't pinch your nose for this. Just like when we drank that dog beer.
Starting point is 01:09:57 The drink was fine. That was not for humans. This is for humans. And we've been building up to this episode. Yeah, we have. So you will not be holding your fucking nose and getting out of it. I had to drink
Starting point is 01:10:07 fizzy, milky, fish water. Hey. Cheers. Oh no. Oh, that's horrible. Really, deeply horrible.
Starting point is 01:10:17 That is weird. That's weird. I don't get it. It's like vegetable juice with soda, like a sweet vegetable juice. It is. It's like lemonade been poured into V like a sweet vegetable juice. It is.
Starting point is 01:10:25 It's like lemonade been poured into V8. Yes. That's exactly very good. Are you getting any chilli there at all? No. No, there is. It's not like a proper heat, but there's a... I don't like the taste of that.
Starting point is 01:10:36 It's everything about the tomato taste that I dislike. I think it's the smell. The smell and the flavour. It's sort of a bin, bin smell. Because what I will say... Bin water smell. Do you know what I mean? But what I will say for it is it's got a nice aftertaste. That's all right, actually. is getting you. It's sort of a bin, bin smell. Because what I will say... Bin water smell, do you know what I mean? But what I will say for it is it's got a nice aftertaste. That's all right, actually.
Starting point is 01:10:49 You're right. When it goes down, it tastes quite nice. Once you get past the initial tomato here... It's a smell. Yeah, it's actually quite refreshing and quite nice and light. It's got a sort of acidity to it, doesn't it? Like a bite. It's just got a really hard kind of upfront punch.
Starting point is 01:11:02 I think that's the best one. Weird. It's weird, though, because every one of these is conflicting. You either go, ugh, or you go, ugh, either start from... That one's an ugh. Yeah, that's an ugh. And what was... Right, let's go through each of them and discover whether they're ugh or ugh.
Starting point is 01:11:17 All right. Okay, so let's start with the original. The original for me was a ugh. Yeah, it was much more the kind of... Because it was ginger ale, mostly. So it was kind of like... This is not working. And then what did we have? I had the seafood.
Starting point is 01:11:32 Just fucking weird. Yeah. What an adventure. And then we had the curry, which for me was a... Yeah, the curry one started with a wave of Coke, a big meaty middle, and then a Coke finish. But with a bit of a garlic on the nose. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:47 And a cumin finish, which is a tautology. Right, and then finally we had the tomato chili, which again, it was kind of a uh-huh. Yeah, it was a uh-huh. Which is your favorite, Paul? If you had to pick one to finish. I might finish the tomato chilli. Yeah, I would.
Starting point is 01:12:06 But it's weird. It's kind of like you have to get past that first moment of, ugh, before you get the nice aftertaste. Yes. It's got a nice, it was the most acidic finish. I like that sort of. The curry cola one wasn't that bad. I did not like the curry.
Starting point is 01:12:19 It made me feel wrong. All of it made me feel a bit wrong. My mouth felt wrong about this. I feel like I've had conflicting information from loving parents. Excuse me about this, but my mouth feels wrong all the way. Oh dear. Well, thank you. That was a very interesting
Starting point is 01:12:34 final segment of this podcast. What's happening to these bottles? Are you going to keep them all? Can I keep one in my room? We'll talk about this after the show and negotiate who has which bottle. Okay. And the answer is, I have all four. Why? You don't have room for them? I do. In my heart.
Starting point is 01:12:51 Really? No. You can have them all. I don't give a shit. I don't want them all. They were too much room. Well, you're having them now. All right. We'll give one away as a prize. We can give those away if anyone wants the bottles. Yeah. I don't know what.
Starting point is 01:13:01 I mean, just listen to the podcast and we'll figure out a way to get... Or just ask me and I might say, yeah, you can have it. Yeah. You know, know what. I mean, just listen to the podcast and we'll figure out a way to get... Or just ask me and I might say, yeah, you can have it. Yeah. You know, if you really want an empty fishy bottle, first of all,
Starting point is 01:13:09 you can have that one. Second of all... Keep it by your bed. Yeah. And in the morning. In the morning. When you've got a bit of a morning hump on,
Starting point is 01:13:14 reach over, snuff the hoof and then wank off. No, I thought you meant to get off. No, I thought you meant to get the smell on you. You know what?
Starting point is 01:13:23 I was going to put this video up to say, look at our channel and how great we are. now we've ended with this with you shouting fishy finger look yeah look at you you oh come on paul we had a good one today yeah we did have a good one well all right i love noodles me it was a good noodle special this episode wasn't it certainly was we've had chili tomato curry fish, fish, miso drinks. No miso. No, original. And also,
Starting point is 01:13:49 if you're wondering what any of these other original cup noodle flavours taste like, I'll be tasting them over the next month or so and I'll be reporting back on this very podcast.
Starting point is 01:13:58 Well, you've said that before so I understand that you're saying it again. Well, it's not repetition. It's sort of normal, isn't it? Yeah. Well, yeah. I could do some repetition for you.
Starting point is 01:14:06 Right, go on. Fish water, fish water, fish water, fish water, fish water, fish water. This will get good in a second. Fish water, fish water, fish water. You're saying fish water over and over will never get good. Fish water, fish water.
Starting point is 01:14:17 And if anything, it's a real waste of this episode. How do you know if it won't get good if I did it for five minutes and then suddenly it would be the best thing ever? How is it going to get better? Fish water, fish water, fish water. How is you saying fish water any better? You if I did it for five minutes and then suddenly it would be the best thing ever? How is it going to get better? Fish water, fish water, fish water. How is he saying fish water any better? You've stopped as well, so you obviously don't believe
Starting point is 01:14:29 you're not even committed to your own life. Fish water, fish water, fish water. Why would you say fish water? Fish water, fish water, fish water. Why would you say fish water? Fish water, fish water, fish water. Fish water, fish water. Why would you say?
Starting point is 01:14:41 Yeah, it got fun. Yeah, see? Ah, there you go. Fish water. Why would you say that? Yeah, it got fun. Yeah, see? Ah, there you go. Fish water. Goodbye, everybody. That's how we're ending this, apparently. Yay! This is also a food for everyone in the world. From now on, it's good.
Starting point is 01:15:08 From now on, it's delicious. First, to your gratitude, it's a good deal. 20th anniversary souvenir cup noodles limited edition on sale. And that's the end of the cheap show for this week, our big Nissan noodle special. And you know what?
Starting point is 01:15:24 We've had good times. I feel a bit sick though. I know. I feel really queasy. I feel like I've just had like, I've eaten too much altogether at once. And there's all this. It's all rustling around.
Starting point is 01:15:35 You know like oil and water. It's all sludging around. It's all splishing and squashing up against itself. Splishy and splashing. It's all folding over. Fish water, fish water, fish water. You know you like the fish water repetitions. No, I don't. It's just I over. Fish water, fish water, fish water. You know, you like the fish water repetitions. No, I don't.
Starting point is 01:15:47 It's just I can't think of anything funny to say instead. No, you can't. That's a good thing to do when you can't think of anything funny to say, Paul. Say fish water. That sounds like you're beginning a Disney song. If you can't think of anything to say, why you say... Oh, fish water, fish water. Fish water, water, water.
Starting point is 01:16:03 Fish water, fish water, fish water. Fish, fish water, fish water. Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish water, fish water, fish water, water, water. Fish water, fish water, fish water, fish. Fish water, fish water, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish. Fish water, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish. You know what? I think we'll go with the Sherman Brothers again this film. Sorry. Thank you, but bye. You can get this.
Starting point is 01:16:15 Well, you'd do that to Walt Disney. I would, yeah. You would get your cock out to Walt Disney. Not get it out. Just grab it. Grab it. Aggressively go, get this, Walt. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:24 Like that. Fish water comes out my knob. Right. It is time to say goodbye. Thank you for joining us on this very special episode. We hope you enjoyed it. If you'd like to help support this podcast financially in any way you can, you can go to patreon.com forward slash cheap show.
Starting point is 01:16:40 Give what you can, but only if you can. You're going to get access to all sorts of lovely videos and podcasts and magazines and extra bits and bobs and deleted things and behind the scenes nonsenses why it's a treasure trove behind the scenes nonsenses
Starting point is 01:16:52 yes behaviour I've got a bag full of nonsenses naughty behaviour with cows there's a video that me and Eli are going to put up
Starting point is 01:17:01 where I wank you off into my mouth that one I can put that one up if you want just slap it up Paul slap the video that me and Eli are going to put up where... I wank you off into my mouth. That one. I can put that one up if you want. Just slap it up, Paul. Slap the video on. I've got no shame anymore.
Starting point is 01:17:11 You know what? The only way you could do it is if I put like a sheet over you with a hole where your mouth needs to go so it looks like I'm trying to wank into a ghost's mouth or something.
Starting point is 01:17:19 You'd like that ghost to get you off. Anyway, patreon.com forward slash cheap show. If you want to follow us on any of the social medias, yes, we're on Instagram and Facebook if you look for Cheap Show. But on Twitter, we're most active at the Cheap Show pod.
Starting point is 01:17:30 I'm at Paul Gannon Show and Eli is... Eli Snoid, spelt E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D. And we have a website, which is your one-stop shop for all things Cheap Show, thecheapshow.co.uk. If you go there, there are links to the various merch pages. thecheapshow.co.uk. If you go there, there are links to the various merch pages. There's Tony's art page.
Starting point is 01:17:47 There's events, physical print copies of the Cheap Show magazine. There's also a link to our Patreon. There's also a link there for the P.O. Box information. If you'd like to send
Starting point is 01:17:57 our podcast anything you think we would find amusing, you can do that. Again, all the details on the website, thecheapshow.co.uk. Anything else? What else? No, the email website thecheapshow.co.uk anything else what else
Starting point is 01:18:06 no the email thecheapshow at gmail.com if you have like a story to tell a bit of gossip just want to say thank you or you just you know
Starting point is 01:18:14 a lovely person you can email that what are you feeling sick yeah I feel like I'm coming down I had a burp and it was
Starting point is 01:18:21 all the flavours it was like a willy wonky do you want to mix all of them? I'm going to mix them. No, no, Paul, don't. I'm not going to have the seafood one, but I'm going to mix a bit of everything. Oh, and have a sip of it. I'm going to have a bit of chilli tomato. Just a splish. Oh, this is
Starting point is 01:18:35 ridiculous. This is asking for it. It's like Charlie, no, George's Marvellous Medicine. Now a bit of the regular cup noodle. Here we go. Drippily drip drop. Just a splish. Just a swifter. Snifter. And a dash now. A dash of the regular cup noodle. Here we go. Drippily drip drop. Just a splish. Just a swifter. Snifter. And a dash now. A dash of the cola curry.
Starting point is 01:18:49 Oh, my mouth feels bad inside it. Oh, look at that. It's got a nice kind of abattoir brown. All right. You're going to down that? Let's see what we get. That is not a good smell, Mr. Silverman. It's not.
Starting point is 01:19:02 It's not a good smell. Have a huff of that. That's everything. That's not a good smell. Have a puff of that. That's everything. That's terrible. Drink it. That was like your belch. Drink it, mate. But in drink form.
Starting point is 01:19:11 Here we go. This is actually quite a dumb idea. Yeah, I know. It'll be fine. Here we go. Oh, lots going on. Yeah, lots going on there. Now, ultimately, not repulsive.
Starting point is 01:19:22 I will say that. Well, like I say, I don't think they're going to make something that's actually going to make you bad, though. But I've got waves, crashing waves of flavour across my tongue. It's a bit of curry. It's crashing up against the tomato. I didn't like the curry one. It's splashed back against the kind of chicken stocky thing.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Whoa. That's nasty. Nasty. Oh, you nasty boy. Do, do, do, do. What have you come on me lately? Something like that. I don't know. Oh, come on.. Do, do, do, do. What have you come on me lately? Something like that. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:19:47 Oh, come on. Is that it for this week? I suppose so. Wonderful. Then we'll see you next week for more fun and games. We've got a special guest next week. Ooh. Very special guest.
Starting point is 01:19:57 We've been trying to get him on the show for a while. Finally got him. It should be a lot of fun. Join us next week. Take care, boys and girls. Bye, everyone. Thanks for listening. Love you all.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Bye. Bye. Bye. You don't have to kiss. I do have to kiss. Some people like... Bye, everyone. Bye, everyone in the world.
Starting point is 01:20:13 I love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hang up. You hang up. I'll say bye. You say bye.
Starting point is 01:20:20 I will. Bye. You hang bye. I will. Bye. You hang up.

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