Chubby Behemoth - London Lund’s Pancake Home

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week Nathan tells us about his new injury. Sam is full blown thwacko. We get an update on Sam’s European adventures, requests a new place for crow videos, and found a Lund theme restaurant. A man is dead. That WAS the name of the album. We have Dick York-Dick Sargent situation. Somebody is still wearing a diaper. Sam wouldn’t put a color label on how drunk he is. Jimmy Reverso and his million dollar shoes comes up with an idea to get Nathan nude on the Patreon. Chuck Berry PI almost made a video confessional.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

You have to say it to me before it's too late. And I kept saying, I'm just a guy. But as you can see, Lund right here is not just a guy. He is many men all at once. What is your deal? I came in here, you're breathing heavy, you can't sit up. What's happening? I'm you.

I'm hurt. What happened? You're doing less than nothing. Too much corned. What happened? Let me guess. Let me guess. Let me guess. Went wild at Taco Bell at 2 a.m.

and now your foot doesn't work. No. Crippled by Taco Bell. No. This is a separate. Did they open a KFC within three hours of walking distance? There's a KFC. So now you have a combo that you went and you ate a bunch of KFC

and you walked so your foot hurts for two reasons. It's a KFC Taco Bell. You didn't know that? You don't really know Trinidad. You act like you know. You also sound terrible. Why? You sound really bad.

Because the audio quality, the way you're laying is bad. No. You sound muffled. That seems a little spotty, Sam. I think it's just your reception. No, I know that, but I can also hear him and it doesn't sound good. It sounds like the mic's in his mouth. Did you confuse the

mic for a ding-dong, buddy? Because there's no cream in there, pal. That's a microphone. We use them in show business to make money. Now, listen. It could have happened to anybody. That's why you've got to be careful out there i was uh i ordered some pizza from pizza hot as you do now is this for breakfast or was this for brunch domino's is slipping uh and pizza hut might be the the the choice here be, do you know this? I did not know about this.

Yeah, we might be a Pizza Hut family. For real though, it sounds bad. Like the audio quality is bad. Jesus Christ. Becker, just explain the deal. And you lay down all the time. But of course, you have to come in and

exert some control. No, I lay down and I still hold the mic so it's not bumping i'm holding the mic i'm holding the mic it's still bad take the mic away from your mouth this is how i hold the mic you don't have to tell me how to work my mic oh the mic's caught in the fold i see you could have just said that whatever just talk just say whatever you wanted to say no i just wanted to comment on your body i'm uh i'm happy to hear that you have a cool story so you ordered dominoes because pizza hut is quote unquote bunk no now you're a domino's family other way around excuse me pizza hut might

be the actual move if not in the whole country than this region but uh i went to see if it was here and it wasn't here and then i was just walking down there's a couple steps from the dining room to the kitchen and i just fucking did something to like my calf and it hurts real bad and it's annoying and uh yeah, you're in Copenhagen drinking from a hummingbird's mouth that you're going to then eat as dessert. Yeah, we ate it whole, though, after it drowned in its own liquor. So, yeah, it was a pairing, you unwashed slob. No, so you took the first steps you took in how many days, hours?

I've been laying low. How long? Uh-huh. On the ground, like a worm. Because that's who you are. You love the dirt. I've been wiggling around. You've been like, I miss Sam. I'm worming.

I hurt myself bad enough to be a little scared about whether I have to... Go to the hospital? I don't know if I can rub some dirt on this one. Yeah. And then what? I got to give a fake name? I can to go to the hospital. I'm going to rub some dirt on this one. Yeah. And then what? I got to give a fake name? I can't go bug Emily. She wants everything off the books. Yeah, she wants it all under the table. And the table's sitting on the ground like Japanese diamond.

I don't need a calf abortion. I need maybe You need a whole body abortion, bud. You got to start over. You got to be put back start over So your calf exploded Because you were so eager To get your stuffed crust Pretzel crust pizza You were scampering

I can imagine you You put on your ruby slippers And you, Creech, dinner time Oh, oh, my ankle. Get the pistol. There's one bullet in the garage. Yeah, it's not even hospital. It's put you down. That's the move.

Might not see 42. So yeah, it sucks. Anyway. You suck. It sounds bad and you look gross. Meanwhile, I'm shining. I'm sweating. Good. No, it sounds bad and you look gross meanwhile i'm shining i'm sweating no it sounds bad becker come on you think we think we trust you with audio quality come on pal yes hey no hey what are you a horse it's because i got a carrot to dangle okay you have a lozenge what are you doing doing? You have an edible? Yeah, I do. Uh-huh.

Not an edible. I have my last. While lecturing about audio. Yeah, someone's got to tell the truth. I ate my last candy. I ate my last candy's gone. Because I'm in old Dublin. And brother, if I told you I had nine pints, I'd be lying by two. I'm fucking thwacko.

I'm in it. I'm all the way in it. I'm in the palm of the hand and it's squeezing and I'm saying, Hey, room for one more, Avna. Yeah. Yeah, dude. They let me. I filmed this shit for Wide World.

Okay, this is fun. We're in Dublin, Vicar Street. I go out. I crush, of course, because that's my damn job. Partial standing O. No big deal. Who cares? Another day at the office.

Partial amputation. Get off stage. Yeah, I mean, dude, I'm going to have to, I'm going to release a bunch of crows and hopefully they come remove you from this mortal coil. They'll build me a splint. Eaten by crows, Nathan Lund, dead by his one true pleasure in life. They would take me an hour and a half away to Emily so I didn't have to drive. Well, they'd get there quicker because, you know, it's always faster as the crow flies.

Come on. Yeah, it'd be a straight shot. Look at that. Also, listeners, please do me a favor. Send Lund your crow-related footage because I don't care. All right? Quit sending me videos that are like stealing lun's job uh i'm the real crow guy send them direct to lund he's on instagram you have the

same access you have to him as you have to me they're trying i don't give a shit send them to replace me yeah by showing that i'm not the only oh Whoa, that's wild. Hey, obviously the only thing you're looking for in a co-host is the crows part, and I've got that down times a thousand. I'm not listening to Chevelle or watching wrestling. I'm just crows. It's literally my whole

thing. Yeah, my calf didn't KYS, so I'm still up and at them. Look at me. Well, yeah, you may be. I get a crow video every 12 hours. They come in shifts.

Much like the crows. They could only replace part of me, so you would need three guys in order to take my place. No, no, no. No one replaces Lund to the point where this morning, I wake up in old Stockholm, and I go out to get some wide world footage and uh i'm a bit i think i'm still stoned from the night before because of my hash yogurts so i wake up and kind of and i set the alarm for 9 a.m because our pickups at noon and i'm like i gotta get stockholm so i hit the streets

and i go to this park that's on the way to the snuff building which ends up I went to buy the like I went to the you know Stockholm's snuff store because I'm heavy into snuff and snooze uh you know the nicotine pouches formerly Lucy before they pulled the bag on us and uh that place was closed so I went to a park and I was like I should have just slept in oh god who cares this is stupid i'm wasting my time and then i found a shop that was called london lun's pancake home and my face almost ripped in half from smiling i looked like i looked like jack from nightmare before christmas i was just oh lun lun's good i you know what i I'm going to carry on for Lund, because you know what? We're going to have to have his body replaced and his head attached

to the new lump. So yeah, I got to get this footage. And then I carried on, man. I spirited on. Did you go in there? Two Lunds are better than none. No, I did not go in, because I didn't, I mean, I assumed it was food for you, so it was like a corn dog inside of a chalupa. I didn't want to eat that for breakfast. It was pancakes, man. Yeah, it was a home. It wasn't a pancake house. It was a pancake home, and I liked that.

Yeah. So it brought a smile to my face, thinking about Lund. I was like, man, maybe Lund's looking at this same pancake house sign. Thinking about me. On the internet. But no, you were mourning. How did the candlelight vigil go? I'm still reeling.

A man is dead. A man who was very nice to me I caught Megan up on the quick and dirty of it and she died laughing because it's just the timing the beats the fucking beats you can't

woo wee man yeah I don't know RIP Al Goodwin the badgerine dead at 82 no probably not that old yeah not that old but his heart still said hey that's enough

of the act outs I'm out of here hey hey hey Al enough of the act-outs. I'm out of here. Hey, Al, enough comparing one thing to another thing. I'm going to call it quits. He's dead, Becker. Quit laughing. So weird that, yeah, he was just doing his thing, and then all of a sudden everybody's talking about him for a couple days because he posted something dumb.

Did he post before he went out? No, no. I'm saying like a week ago or whatever, he got a lot of attention for his post about saying he was thinking about changing his pronouns to she, her to get booked more. And so comics like blasted him. and then he was like shut shut up screenshot this and was like grateful for who his real friends were and then like as he's now now now his now his pronouns are angel his his pronouns are heaven slash bound. Because he died like six hours ago. Yeah. And here we are.

He straight died. It's just so crazy. It's like the shirt he was wearing. As he's building the new hour based on being canceled. And the merch. The merch, dude. And I was trying to tell Megan the Mitch mitch fatale story and i couldn't think of it exactly so okay i can tell you what i remember and you can add let's let's

so real quick let's catch up the listener a beloved uh a comedian in denver al goodwin died less than 24 hours ago on or near stage and now we're just here I assume so where else would he have been don't assume not at home with his wife I'll tell you what he was a road dog road badger

yeah Bowman did that great character about him you know what I say you know what I say did that great character about him? You know what I say? You know what I say? Should have been Vanderplug, you know? Of all the people. I made that joke.

Anytime anyone dies, I say should have been Vanderplug. Oh. It's a running thing. It's what we call a callback in the business. I never run again i thought you were done with the candy yeah you thought a lot of shit didn't you stupid you showed us an empty jar i'll never tell yeah you also thought you could walk to the door to get your pizza hut. And look at you now. That's what you get for thinking. Tomorrow is not promised.

We've learned a lot from the badgerine. Holy shit. The badgerine. That was his name. It's so crazy that he died. Yeah. But what happened? What was the bit?

So if you guys remember, Mitch Fatale, his Comedy Central half hour was famous because he did spy voice the whole time. This whole thing was like, I'm horny and I have fetal alcohol syndrome.

Thank you for the money, Comedy Central. It was a simpler time. I'm a little horny spy baby. He's like, can I has pussy? That was like the whole thing. He's grown a lot since then.

And a lot of his stuff has always been funny. I will say that. He's really funny. Nothing except for having those albums when I was younger. And Dr. Katz. He was on Dr. Katz. Everybody on Dr. Katz was good. Yep.

But yeah. I love his album Fatality. I like that. How about his literal album Super Retardo? No way. Yes. And it's a cartoon of him as a full spy, but like blown up as a superhero with like Superman hairdo. A little spit curl.

Dude, I thought I thought Fatality would be the dumbest name I could think of but no, he literally had an album called Super Retardo which we're quoting, we can't get in trouble for that one dude Yeah, he dusted your ass

He did He knocked your dick in the dirt Yeah, fatality. So, yes. Al opened for Mitch for a long time, and the, like, constant struggle of a feature is... Yeah, we've said his name, like, four times. Reminding people in case they went and did something

and then came back. Hey, buy his cassette, everyone. I'm sure it's on stand-up records. As a feature, it's like, are you able to sell your own merch? Some headliners care, some don't. It helps, whatever. But Mitch didn't let Al sell merch merch and that's like his whole thing was selling some stuff so they like broke up but then they both lived in colorado so they were at comedy

works that i think i think they i think al open did the show with mitch and when mitch was on stage he like told the other com al told the comics in the room this whole story about, oh, yeah, he never let me sell merch, bastard. And then he took Mitch's wallet, took money out, wiped his ass with it. He did weird stuff. Put the money in his ass butt.

Oh, put the money in his butt, and then put it back in the wallet, put the wallet, like, wiped his ass with the wallet. Or he put the whole butt... He put the whole wallet in his ass with the wallet just or he put the whole butt he put the whole wallet in his butt for all i know yeah and becker do you know what we're talking about yeah that's disgusting what an ass well he's dead a dead man wronged a dead man this is fair to judge mitch is alive mitch is alive oh it's fat's Fatale. I was thinking Hedberg. Didn't he open

for Hedberg? No, no, no. He opened his mouth for a hamburger one time. He may have, but he definitely worked with Mitch for a while, Fatale. And then, yeah. So, yeah, I don't remember

if there was more to that story, but yeah, it was wild. He did it in a green room full of comics. He wiped the man's money all over his butthole. And look, karma. And then, wouldn't you know it, eight years later, dead. Dead at 42. Eight years later, ridiculed by zach reinert yeah owning owning his ass owned all the way to hell you never you never you never went to a fourth of july party did you i

think you and i almost went to one no no you and some fucking super retardo almost went to one no big big l spot in the springs was supposed to be a good spot to see fireworks so i'll bet it would have been a good time now it'll be less so a bunch of comics still show up on the fourth and just bug his widow just annoying his wife yeah just annoying her with bits. Just running stuff. Hey, I know about your husband. I'm very sorry, but is anyone doing the badgerine stuff? Can I...

I see all these boxes you have stacked in the corner of the badgerine t-shirts. What if I took them off you? Wholesale? I'm the badgerine now. You know, he kind of lives on. The shirts go unsold. It's a win-win. We go 70-30.

Win-win. Yeah. You get a cut, obviously. Yeah, you can wet your beak. Win-win. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean, it sucks.

You'd rather he be alive. Who's going to host at the improv? Who's going to do rap dates at Looney's? China Man? What's he called now? Kid Walk. I'm so sorry. I forgot.

Get it right. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry, guys. I've gone super retarded over here. That's crazy. But that was the name of the album. Yeah, it was like 2003 probably. So everybody was saying it.

Yeah, I remember watching it in high school. Everybody was getting high-fived, saying it, and then high-fiving over it. Yeah, and then getting super fingered afterward. It was a crazy time. Damn. Yeah, so yeah, it's nuts to just have some... It's like Ultimate ultimate warrior ultimate warrior was doing his thing he was you know awful screeds hateful the original badgerine the ultimate

he was he was online he was trolling he was loving it and then he had his uh And then he had his Hall of Fame speech. And then the next night on Raw, he did a promo. And then he dropped dead like eight hours later. Yeah, it's like Albert Brooks' dad. It was so weird. Park your carcass. He died after doing a sick roast on stage. He was on stage, yeah.

Yeah. And you're going to die after eating a whole roast. Also on stage. Yeah, yeah. For Japanese television. Yeah, that's... You go over there, they put you in a cage, they feed you roasts.

The show in Terre Haute is at a steakhouse, so if there's some kind of meat challenge, I may try to double main event. You're going to be like Mick Foley when he was in all three parts of the Rumble. He did all three guys. That's you.

I'm going for it. Yeah, if there's a fucking... I mean... Fuck. That's you. That's the noise you make. Fuck. I tried to put weight on my leg. Now, are you going to be able to make it out there?

I would assume so. God, but when it first happened, I was so scared. Because I couldn't tell what had happened. I was like, did I just snap something? Did I just break a small bone in my foot? Fucking coming off one stair just just being heavy enough to like cause damage by going down one stair yeah you're joey and normo you're too much you chill normally i would break the house you know but that's when

you get older then the house starts to break you. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're so fat that you don't sit around the house, you sit around the house, you know? Have you heard this? It's breaking news. Earlier tonight, there's a comic called John Kennedy in New York who used to live in Fargo, and he opened for me, he opens for Tim, and Tim's like, we were just're just sitting in the green room before the show and he's like we should call John and tell him that no one likes him and I was like all right deal so we call up this kid and he answers all excited on FaceTime and he's in his girlfriend's car and he's like Tim Sam and we're like did you hear the

news John everyone's saying they hate you yeah did you hear what news, John? Everyone is saying they hate you. Yeah. Did you hear what the Times said? You're, like, the worst, and you should eat a pile of poop, you know, just, like, right away for, like, seven minutes. It was pretty fun. Shout out John Kennedy. He listens. I'll bet he loved it. Oh, he loved it.

Yeah, a little tension is good. The worms love attention. Oh, man. Hey, I want a petition to rename the fan base of chubby behemoth from chubby chaser suit the worms or maybe maybe we we put it like an urban thing on it dough worms no i don't know about that part but no maybe the worms catches on their Their pigs, their worms. But so are we. We're just one guy. There's just

going to be one left. Me and Becker are not long for this world. It's something in the water down here. It's crazy if I outlive you guys. That's nuts. Me? One guy? Outlives three guys? Because everyone forgets about Becker one. We actually, it's like a Dick York, Dick Sargent situation where after season one of Chubby B, we brought in a new Becker who sounded even more black.

Listen to the old episodes. Listen to the old eps. You can tell when we got Becker two. I'm surprised you're pulling back the curtain. Yeah, I know. I know we swore we wouldn't tell. But, you know, now that Al's gone, now that the lights went out in Denver comedy, I need to just be more real, you know? And, look, I know we're having fun about this man passing away very early and leaving his wife and daughter alone.

But look, when I go, when they finally pull me out of the tower, the parapet of that mosque, and the last bullet in my rifle's been spent, I hope that people will riff on me immediately. Oh, yeah. Who cares? And I'm up there defending the mosque, by the way. Don't get it wrong. I hope that people will riff on me immediately. Oh, yeah. Who cares? And I'm up there defending the mosque, by the way. Don't get it wrong. That's what I figured. You're up there because you've chosen it as a good vantage point to fend off attackers.

Yeah. And no, I'm doing it because look at this picture I just sent to the group chat of this is Susanna today on her fourth birthday. Look at this. What? She's four? Yeah, she's four. That means Eli's twelve. Yeah, look at her. She's faded, dude.

She's fucking abso on cake. That's Becker in 2003 when the tinfoils knew. That's her. She's just gone. Yeah, Emmy said that on the way to her birthday at the Peppa Pig Palace, she ate seven cream cookies and then got there and just put her hand into the cake. And now this is her just destroyed.

God bless her. Look at her. Good for her look at her yeah i mean i got it this is you lun this is what you look like uh physically you know look at her she's literally nodding off on cake while we're a party dude she's full doped Yeah she's She hit the spot She's full on Park bench In Philadelphia Yeah she's done She spiked But uh Yeah Yeah shout out Susu

You're four I hope you enjoy the go-kart I bought you I got her a little House of go-kart Really? She has nunchucks Yeah of course

Becker Yeah it's not foot power She's not a Flintstone She's a fucking I ass a go-kart. Really? She has nunchucks. Yeah, of course. Becker? Yeah, it's not foot power. She's not a Flintstone. She's a fucking... Oh, no, she's four. Yeah, she's four a good time. She likes to ride around in her go-kart. Nice.

Yeah. That's cool. It's got to be, like, a little kid. Was it expensive? It's forages 13 and above yeah i dropped eight i dropped eight g's on it so it's street legal bro it's it's got a nos tank big old tires it's pretty much a funny car six gallon tank gasoline yeah oh yeah she's just tooling around east east dearborn you know walla habibian people blasting sweet leaf oh yeah just nodding off but the the steering wheel is actually made of cake so whenever she gets too tired she just falls into the steering wheel and wakes up covered in frosting because i'm the best uncle

dude i called her today on her birthday and the first thing she said to me was emily's still wearing a diaper i was like my work here is done i've nailed it i'm the best uncle that's the first thing she wants to say to me is like whispering, you know. Emily, Emily, Emily's still wearing a diaper. I know, Susie. I'm well aware, baby. I know. Yeah.

Well, and also it's been like a month and a half. So, you know, it's like there to stay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like one of her only memories. She doesn't know what a frog is. She just calls it green rock. she knows that emily wears a diaper

uh i tell you guys about like our you know we're trying to buy a house up there in detroit and like tim and i have been looking at houses did i tell you guys about this no yesterday oh well i showed tim a house that emily liked and he's like yeah good call buy a coffin in dearborn and die in it a little brick coffin in dearborn say goodbye shut the blinds you bought a coffin which is so funny because emily's dad literally died in his house in dearborn you know like he bought the house and then died in it. So Tim, you know, he called it.

It's not a bad move. No, I mean, I want a big old house. He bought several coffins. Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, fuck. I bought a bunch of snooze today, and I've just been geeked on it. Oh, that's good, since you're blackout drunk. I'm not blackout drunk. I'm just drunk off the rails i wouldn't say i wouldn't put a color to it but i would say i'm

drunk yeah so uh call the cops did you have i'm gonna call the fucking titty police on you did you have a show and then dinner tonight uh yeah we did uh dublin again dude back to dublin yeah and when i came out tonight huge pop there was a bunch of people who were at the shows we did uh shout out andy shout out richie brie my buddy vince who we met in london remember big vince i went to high school with oh yeah yeah yeah yeah vince came in he was fucking he was he was reno 911 he was lieutenant dangle he was on it dude he was wasted uh he kept asking tim how much money he made and tim just told him straight up in a room full of people i think tim loved it honestly because he got to just tell everyone you know right most people don't they know not to ask so he can't say yeah but if

somebody old vinnie not vince phil of essentio no no if somebody asks like inviting a vampire in yeah yeah he's let it rip um yeah dude awesome show i got invited back to headline the same theater by the theater people so cool was that noise a cough becker's creature was that you no becker has a friend in tow becker's in den. Who is it? Naruto? It's Mike. Oh, Mike. Yeah, I've heard so much about Mike. What's up, Mike? Hey, Mike. Mike says hey. I'm gonna have to see

if I can return the bike that I bought from Carlos. I haven't even picked it up yet. What the fuck? I don't think I'm gonna be able to ride that bike anymore. You gave it up because of the injury? The injury's the end of it? It's not going to heal right, I can tell.

You gave up on a bicycle you bought but never saw her road. Dude, you deserve everything that happens to you. I'm done holding your hand on this whole personal growth. Hold my hand while I ride the bike. Yeah, I will. I would do that. I would do anything to help you.

Besides entertain anything further about your physical exercise. What's the bicycle? Can I have it? No, I bought it from Carlos because he was going to try to sell it and I said let me look at it. He was going to sell it to the circus so a gorilla could ride it? Well, yeah, now I have to ride in the metal sphere at the circus. It's a little dirt bike. Yeah, the beginning of Place Behind the Pines, that's you. I heard they wanted to hire you to be the sphere,

and they were going to have the bicycles inside of you just rolling around in your belly. Yeah, but they want there to be five dudes it's like i can fit three it's still exciting people will pay to see it and they're like no no no no i mean i've seen you fit five guys before so this shouldn't be an issue two five guys i've had two no fries why do you want to die that was me trying to live oh yeah oh man because one i because i've had one before they're a lot but they go quick and then they're gone and you want another one but there isn't one there unless there is so what's that? Hash pellets? That's H, man. That's H, baby. Or snoozy.

I'm doing H. No, there's a mouse in this room and I'm eating its feces. This is the amount of, let's just say, Moroccan dirt that I still have to eat before my flight tomorrow. Nice. I'm worried about youtube sensors do you have yogurt yeah this is this is this is gonna this is gonna fucking deborah messing my head deborah messing what a weird pull yeah interesting work dick sergeant dick sergeant yeah i mean dude i'm on one as you can. I'm just floating on the wings of that show. I mean, we do a lot of cool shows over here,

but I literally felt like a pop when I went out there. Oh, yeah. And then my dumb ass, you know, so there's an interval. There's a break after my set. Everyone finally sets down. They're like, my God, Jesus is risen and he's fat now. And then the intermission. And then when I come back out there, I had a Guinness.

And I was like, Dublin, what's up? Chugged it. Slam dunk. Oh, yeah. Cool guy move. Yeah. Cool guy move. I was waiting for you to, like, fall off stage or something or step in it.

No, no, I didn't step. All I did i i moonwalked there was no stepping in it they haven't seen it before like holy shit you don't even do it good but because they haven't seen seen it performed well they still get crazed about it. They're like, whoa, he's walking in reverse, isn't he, mate? Whoa, he's Jimmy Reverso on his million-dollar shoes. How did he do that, kid? I can't do the voice. I get drunk, I lose my accents.

But it's a great song, by the way. I'm Losing My Acc accent by times new viking maybe reach out to me if you remember who did that song dorks uh it's really funny to go from like royal albert hall uh you know uh the literal uh fucking what was the place in helsinki it was like built for the state by communist slaves it was just funny to go from all these huge theaters packed with people to the savage henry comedy club eureka california you're gonna have like 65 people in there well the first show sold out second show's almost sold out but still it's in like a hey did you ever want your longboard to learn how to do graffiti well we've got all the supplies for you here at the savage henry comedy store hey do you love getting high, but you only smoke

resin? Hi, we've got the place for you. Come on in. The refrigerator doesn't work, but the Mellow Yellow is $8. I love the people, it's just that building itself is not built for anything besides like having a juggalo funeral. And, uh,

is that a fart? What was that noise? Who just... That came out of your body yeah the audio was good on that huh it i didn't think it was that serious it sounded so bad because it was like you farted inside of my head sorry i think because the mic is touching your gut it like reverse ossified it and now it's just it's reverberating inside of my brain that sucked that was the worst one we've ever had

that's crazy I didn't try to angle my dangle I didn't do anything I was just one guy yeah you were one guy I thought I could get away with it it was like you farted under some mud

And that bubbled up And burped into the atmosphere That sucked But yeah, come see me in Come see me in Eureka, California At Savage Henry Come to the Hood River Comedy Festival Come to Bloomington

Indiana, the Comedy Attic Come see me in Providence Come see me in Eureka, California at Savage Henry. Come to the Hood River Comedy Festival. Come to Bloomington, Indiana, the Comedy Attic. Come see me in Providence. Come see us in Seattle. SamTalon.com. Doing the plugs in the middle. Also, Patreon.com. Patreon.com. Let's try Behemoth.

Get on there. The episode we did the other night was so funny. I'm talking really fast. Yeah, you're 1.25 times speed. I'm going very fast because I'm going to try and out-talk death, unlike Al Goodwin. Now, but yeah, please get on the Patreon. All the money we make this month goes to Al Goodwin's...

No. No? Okay. Alright. What if it went to... Us. Yeah, that's good. Let it went to... Us. Yeah, that's good. Let it go to us. We need to set Patreon rewards, like, for real.

You know? Like, when we got to 1,000, what was it going to be? Like, Becker? We're still not quite at 1,000 paid. We have 1,000 people, but not 1,000. This is the best podcast ever, and we can't even get over the hump of 1,000 paid? What is this cruel business that we're locked into? If it was just Lund, if it was Lund with that poncho that I bought him,

and the podcast starts, and the poncho is just like, hold on. The poncho is just here hold on the poncho is just here right over his face and then every 60 seconds it just gets lower and lower until he's completely nude at minute 60 we would have so many patrons if it was just Lund

slow dick exposed every week but maybe the dick is like, there's sparkles on it one week. And the next week, it got longer due to AI or something. But no. There's two. Look, you guys, join the fucking Patreon. Becker's dying.

Lunn's right behind him. Al Goodwin's in heaven. Come on. If you guys would have just donated to Al's Patreon, he could have got that kidney. But no. You let a man die. Yeah, he could have got his pronouns.

What about the obituary and people who write, you know, eulogies? Hold on, hold on. I don't want to cut you off, but Al Goodwin's obituary is spelled O-H-B-I-T-C-H-U-A-R-Y. What was that first... You're referencing his joke, right? Where the bee is silent?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that joke? I don't know. Let's let the gums lie. I have a real itch at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's something like that, right? I've got a real itch.

But hey, the good news is no one's doing it now, so Lund's got a new five. Yeah. What was I saying? You were sayingituary oh the obituary yeah and people just like shouting him out saw that post about changing his pronouns and so they use yeah they use his updated pronouns when eulogizing him that's pretty fun when eulogizing him. That's pretty fun.

The bit lives on. It's his. It's truly his now. I mean, who's going to emcee Al Goodwin's funeral? Ant? We have to go to that funeral, too. I heard it's a bringer to bring five people. Flappers in Burbank.

It's probably at Rise Comedy Club. You have to buy merch. Yeah. Two item merch minimum. We got to go to the funeral. Dude, this is where we try out our leather clad harley eulogy let's go to al goodwin's funeral kick the doors open on the benigans and just walk up there and commandeer the microphone say let me tell you a thing or two about al let's let's we go up there

we take the headset mic off of uh you know, and we say, hey, itch. The bee is silent. Take a seat. It's a hologram of Judy Tanuta. And yeah, we just go up there. She recorded a message. In case anything happened to him before she was gone. Let me tell you a thing or two about my buddy Al.

The Badgerine, as we called him. Yeah, I mean, it sucks. He was always a good guy to me. Yeah, he was fine. It was a dumb thing to post what he posted because he was doing all right. He was booked, I don't know, doing shows. Relatively happy guy. I don't know how serious he was about that post if he was actually annoyed stressed about losing gigs to they's and she's and buys and tries

he had a noah reynolds in their ilk uh oh hey shout out to uh jack pity laugh who does all the graphics for wide world got married today shout out jack oh hell yeah yeah oh so yeah he got married in central park and uh they you know patrick went they had him on a leash he was the ring bearer he ate the ring patrick yeah he swallowed the rings patrick's patrick's probably drunk in a karaoke bar right now and fucking you know bushwick uh it's just like scaring the shit out of whoever's running it he's just been up there for eight songs in a row because he's singing evanescence he refuses to leave nobody can get him out of there he's too huge no one

can get him out there because he's pitching woo to some NBs. Yeah. That means non-binary. That is cool that Jack's getting married. Congrats. So, like, I'm doing that thing where I film, you know? I know we talked about it on the Patreon a little bit, but I got this camera here that I film all this stuff on. Yeah, a little Chuck

Berry style. Yeah, exactly. A little guy that can go anywhere undetected. I'll be underneath this glass table. Do whatever you want to the top of it. Literally whatever you want. I'll just be down here. By the way, there's all the chili you can eat in the corner.

It's been sitting out for a while. Don't forget the sour cream that's been warming as well chuck berry pi um but yeah i've got this thing and today or last night in stockholm we're riding around and i'm filming out the window and i say shit to pat like when I have a shot that I like, I'll be like, all right, Pat. So I'm shooting up or like a light coming behind statue or like, you know, I just give him like little editing notes or whatever. And I said something into the camera and I was like, you know, uh, this, the good, good, uh, good fog on the ground here,

Pat. And Tim was like, who's Pat? And I was like, oh, he's a, he's my editor. And he's like, how do you know Pat? And I was like, oh, you you know he lived with me and my wife no i said i said uh i said to pat because we passed by the place where me and emily stayed in stockholm and i said pat this is where me and your mom stayed he was like who's pat and i was like oh he's he's my buddy uh he lived with me and emily for like eight months and tim was like why was he was he getting clean off heroin and i said no he's just a lazy fuck. And then I remembered that I was filming it and that Pat was going to see it, so I was like, he's a great guy, super funny, you know, I love him.

You know, Pat, I love you, buddy. You know, it was total, I totally Fattel album covered out, you know. Well, I mean, is it insane? Is it going to be a revelation that Pat hears that you have felt that way about them living with you rent-free for like eight months and then still wanting money for Carl's Jr.? I don't want McDonald's. I want to get Culver's. I heard it's better for you. All right, buddy. Put it on the company card, pal.

I would have gone to Wendy's, but the Frosties hurt my teeth. I was thinking I'd just get Cold Stone and then microwave it. Is that okay? Oh, fuck. Yeah, no, he's great. He's great at his job. But yeah, he is, you know, his hands aren't calloused. He's really good at stuff that drives him.

Hey, who am I, Becker? Hey, Becker. Hey, who am I, buddy? I'm you. I'm you if you were brave. Yeah, if I was brave. If you weren't a pussy about heroin. Yeah.

So, hey, I think it's time for a Beckers update. What's going on? Why are you in Denver? Your house burned down? No, I just am stir crazy. Mostly. Oh, nice. What are you stirring up?

Nothing. A bunch of puke and diarrhea. I've heard this song before. He filled up his house with fecal matter. The toilet broke a month and a half ago. The tub is clogged. Decker was like,

I don't have my job for now, so I need to get on hoarders? what can i hoard i guess my own dung yeah so you're you're in denver becker you're up there chasing skirt with your buddy mike no skirt chasing menver are you chasing hog dude i'm hog chasing wow good for you buddy uh not at all hey by the way be, if you could go gay for the purposes of the pod, that would be huge. I wish I could. It seems a lot simpler. Oh, yeah, it is.

You're going to hang out with me and Lund, but everybody wins. Yeah. You get filled up already. Just airtight? Yeah. No, no, no. You'd be banging Lund. I'd be drinking a cappuccino in the corner fanning

myself with euro notes saying yes this is the human orchestra and i'm the conductor look at my instruments and they play for me so yeah what's going on they did all my biopsies and stuff and got me my reports and they're sending me to the long COVID clinic. Damn, you got a biopsy? You should have got a guyopsy because you're a guy. Well, they were trying to work me towards what you want. Yeah, yeah. Good call.

So what? They put you in a sound editing school? Come on. He's sick. Now, so you have long COVID is what you're claiming for tax purposes that's what they think they can't find anything wrong my inflammation's all in weird spots not like all of the tissue groups that should be in the spots where i have it and they couldn't find anything except, like, weird bad inflammation.

Damn. Well, that's what got Al Goodwin, so watch out. I have good inflammation. This is all healthy. Yeah. You're going to get a chip in the marble at some point, you know. Prayers up for Becker, guys. I tried eating real food last night.

I felt brave. Now, hold on. With you, I need to know what real food last night. I felt brave. Now, hold on. With you, I need to know what real food means. I had a bratwurst. 72 little hot dogs. I had a bratwurst. I also had a dessert. I did have a little bomb.

Like a little chocolate bomb. A chocolate bomb. Yeah. Now, what is that? Is that some kind of like uh like a novelty like an ice cream thing no it's like a cream b-o-m-b-e it's like a french pastry thing it's like a gelatinous usually chocolate or fruit a boom bomb okay uh yeah like a chocolate or fruit glaze over the top and then different types of mousse and cream filling well you're not the only one who found solace in a sweet treat today because at the uh stockholm private uh airport because we flew private today nice tim had a tim had a couple of

drumsticks at about 10 a.m he they had a case of him in there and he opened it up and he went last chance and then he didn't get like a he didn't he didn't get a swedish treat out of there he just got a couple of drumsticks it's like i think we're gonna have another chance at that buddy but i it might have been because the the private flight it was this one was nice uh i had i blew it today because i woke up this morning really early and I went and walked around Stockholm, filmed. I got a sandwich and I got a cinnamon roll. And I was like, okay, a lot of carbs, need some hardcore protein. Got on the plane.

They said, we have sandwiches. I said, yeah, I might have a sandwich later. The guy brought out all eight sandwiches that he had pre-prepared. And your boy ate five of them. Nice. Were they amazing? I ate five. I took a bite out of all eight of them, but I only finished five.

But I did condense one turkey sandwich onto another turkey sandwich, so I ate six. You tried to binge-fib. Well, I'm telling you the truth right now. Yeah, but you tried to lull me. Were they all turkey? You tried to misdiagnose. Yeah, I did.

And you busted me. Diagnosis, murder. Very good. Thank you. I'm having fun over here. But yeah, I ate a bunch of sandwiches, got to Dublin, and I did not have the camera charged, so I got nothing of Dublin until the show. But, hey, who cares?

You've seen Dublin. You guys have seen Leprechaun in the Hood, you know? Big deal. Becker, do we have an ad read on this one? Nope. Fuck. Really wanted to land with a good 10 minute ad rewrite it on home yeah mm-hmm uh no we gotta do an honest day's work damn it oh yeah i told you uh sam that i

watched american movie for the first time and it ruled dude it's the best it was so good like a lot of things uh the main reason that i had meant to finally watch it was after the mike died which was a year and a half ago i remember seeing people talking about it enough the people that i liked that i was like oh okay it's like really good it's not just how good when spiraling was when mike died because they were actually going to produce they were going to make the badgerine biopic it was like a christopher guest movie man they were all really funny characters and how fuck though i was telling megan that like dude, Mark, is trying to make a movie, he's struggling, so he finishes a short film, but he wants to make a feature. As he's, like, trying to figure this shit out, he has four kids or whatever. He's just, like, not going to be able to do a lot.

This other guy is filming him, and that turns into an incredible film you know people love and then what did mark do just raise those kids and like keep working at the cemetery no no so people in milwaukee say that they still see him all the time at coffee shops and he's like still getting movies made yeah but yeah like i've heard i've heard various people say that they see him at the coffee shops in milwaukee and like get shit he gets shit done or he's always writing i can't remember but he's still a guy but the whole thing is this one guy northwestern and i don't think no they're in milwaukee no no the movie he wanted to make was called northwestern and i don't think it was about northwest milwaukee that he made it

so that's too bad well because dude that's a great movie his uncle died so he and left him 50k i know dude him just going and like tricking his uncle you know his uncle's like sundowning sundowning. He's like, it's me. It's me, you. Just Leahy, dude. Real life Leahy. Oh, yeah. Just comes and goes.

And Mark is just chatting him up. Hey, Uncle Bill! Got anything you want to say to the world? He's like, uh, hello. I miss my wife. Give her back. When is it time? And it's like, oh, well, we got to make that movie. And then maybe you'll be able to sleep.

Oh, I got to eat soon. No, no. Very good, Bill. But you, yeah, you ate yesterday. So, you know. Yeah. Remember what the nurse said. Have you seen it, Becker?

Yeah, no, didn't. No. It's on Tubi. Treat no didn't no it's on to be treat yourself buddy it's on to be it sounds don't let that sway you no it's really good watch an ad or two it's worth it it's a good app to be let me ask you something if if if someone you know this is obviously just for educational purposes someone you know had like a maybe an entire like cigarette papers length worth of hash rolled into a tube how would they best would they smoke it what do they do do they not have tobacco they do i think hold on let me think in this world we're creating yeah i think they have tobacco they do i think hold on let me think in this world we're creating yeah i think they have tobacco yeah you roll it up with tobacco try to keep it as centered in the middle as you can and would that person get absolutely zooted all the way through the moon

yeah dude you'd be doing the zoot suit boogie they would be doing it yeah Yeah. Well, my flight, I get picked up in three and a half hours from now. Fuck. So, I don't know. I don't know if I want to get on the plane. I don't know if this person wants to get on the plane completely Jesco white. They definitely do. They definitely want to watch a flight on the movie and then fall asleep and have a great flight. Well, I think this person might be able to fall asleep

because a woman who looked like a vampire gave them a couple of Xanax in Helsinki. So I think they're probably going to be okay. I heard. I heard this. This is a cool treatment for a movie. Yeah, this is my American movie that I'm writing. Is food open?

Is this the sequel you're pitching? No, I'm asking you, do you have food options available to you? Not right now. To me, I could eat, but the person in this hypothetical scenario could not eat. Okay, because I was going to say you could also just maybe drop it into a hot cup of soup. But the person in this hypothetical scenario could not eat. Okay. Because I was going to say you could also just like maybe drop it into a hot cup of soup or. Yeah, they could do that. Eat up some yogurt.

Yeah. Well, what if like the person had like an electric kettle and a bunch of like hot chocolate they could melt down? That would not be a bad idea, but you'd want to mix it in the cup they would want to mix it the royal one would one would want yeah the royal you yeah yeah want to mix it in the cup not in the kettle

you the inquisitor the hypothetical oh I'm flying home tomorrow guys I'll be in You the Inquisitor. The Hypothetico. I'm flying home tomorrow, guys. I'll be in old Southern Colorado tomorrow by 8pm. Tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow. What about Eureka?

I go to Eureka on Thursday. That's after. My fine felted friend. That's right. Alright, well, come up and see me sometime. Well actually this person is going to Eureka on Thursday again. This person should

probably pick the Xanax over the hashish. Yeah who knows. Or do a little baby do a couple puffs. This person also got an Ambien from that woman. And I heard he's nervous about eating it on a plane and totally going crazy. Yeah, you better not McNamara your own ass.

You haven't finished. You don't know who the fucking Golden State Killer is. Yeah, they don't know who that is yet. It'd be crazy if it was one of us. Yeah, anyway, so I'll see you guys. You guys gonna come over this week? Say a little hey hey, we miss you.

Maybe. I'm not leaving my house this week. I don't have to work. Because of my calf, I could cruise control over to you. You could lift me up out of the car. The Impreza's pretty low. Have have becker drive he loves to drive yeah yeah i come get you i'll be back probably tuesday yeah i'll be back on tuesday take my pink cane

becker what if this person like rolled up the hashish in a paper individually and then put that wrapped in the paper inside of a cig? Yeah, as long as there was more tobacco for kindling, because that hash is going to get real sticky and messy. Yeah, yeah, as it's wont to do. So you'd want a big old fatty cigarette to put that amount of hash in well they don't want to smoke a bunch of tobacco i'll bet they do no they do no they don't because they're very happy with their velo brand snooze packets velo yeah all right listen to this so now we have paris wide world coming out and then we have

eastern colorado and now i have this whole series of like nine or ten different countries that i did with tim in it crazy and then yeah and then we're gonna go film another little one somewhere in europe coming up back Back to Europe. Tim's like, you don't go to the third world. I was like, fuck no, I don't go to the third world. I'm not trying to profit off their plight. Also, daddy wants a club sandwich every now and then. You know?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, babe. Well, yeah, and he doesn't either. What is he? He's being critical of you for not going to deepest darkest yeah i know yeah i'm not going all the way in the heart of darkness do you guys want to see the gift that i got tim for a little thank you for bringing me yeah yeah i haven't

shown i haven't given it to him yet i'm gonna give it to him tomorrow golden orb no no no tonight is that okay yeah he's not's not going to ever see this. Okay. Aww. Look at that. It's a little pig smoking a cigarette. How long did you have to wait for them to make a statue of you? Very good. Very good,

Becker. Save it for certified cinephiles. What? Why? But yeah, it's like if the pig was a joker. The joker was a pig. Did you customize that? No, I saw it in Nice.

And I was like, well, he has to have that. Look at the eyelashes on this pig looks just like Tim this is what he dresses like over here he goes all geisha he's just wrapped in silk robes at all times you guys were both sweatsuiting it looked like

I saw his polo ensemble oh dude he's he wore a sweatsuit at royal albert hall what did you wear i wore you know a sweatshirt and pants like a normal guy porky pig in it like a nice sleeves and a tie and a collar but no actual no shirt underneath, no pants. Pretty much. Yeah. I wore just a vest. Only a vest on stage.

No sleeves. It's like a jacket without a shirt underneath. But... Porky? Yeah. Depends on the era. Early on he was wearing overalls with no shirt and a hat,

and then later on, he had the blue jacket. Yeah, jacket and a bow tie. That's the Chuck Jones look. That's so funny. That was you. Thank you, Royal Elverdahl. Yeah. I was dressed like you right now in reverse.

God forbid this pig come out here nude. Best to cover up his shoulders and neck. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's been quite the wild ride and I appreciate everyone bearing with us I'm coming home I'll be home tomorrow I will and I'll see everyone else you gotta massage my calf

I gotta rub that blood clot out of there oh rub it all the way up to your heart Well yeah Go see London Terre Haute, Indiana April 25th Yeah

See us on the road Watch Wide World, tell your friends about Wide World Subscribe to the YouTube, do all that stuff I love you guys I have to go to bed right now Bye Bye bye