Circling Back - Space Superheavies & First Date Misses
Episode Date: October 25, 2023They finally found out what T-Rex's sound like, a list of very unapproved (and very unjustified as well?) first date spots, a Space Bar segment about Jupiter and asteroid superheavies, and This Weeken...d in Fun. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:15) They Figured Out What T-Rex’s Sounded Like (31:30) List of Non-Approved First Date Spots (47:00) Space Bar: They Got Asteroids and Maybe Jupiter Stuff (1:01:28) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Alfa Romeo Tonale: www.alfaromeousa.com Point.Me: www.point.me DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (code: WASHED for $200) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (BACKER for 20% off) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin texas my name's will
to freeze to my left the bing bong don david roth i know we've got a big
show a loaded rundown so hypothetically if we were going to cover one of these three headlines
which story would we want to uh talk about first how to heat up your romps with temperature play
from saucy candles to hot toys i i kind of want to dig further into that one okay all right they've reported to you
middle-aged bloke gets off on wearing nappies and he even makes messy in them what's in that
what's a nappy a diaper it's a diaper for our friends across the pond oh i don't like making
messes so i'm going to pass on that one david. Okay, third and final. My wife is having sex with other men, but there's a big reason why I can't object.
Is it because he's having sex with other women?
Hard to say.
I haven't clicked it.
This is all courtesy of the Daily Star if you're looking to kill a few minutes.
I want to know why he's getting voluntarily cucked.
Dave, you need to stop looking at that website for Starz updates.
They don't cover NHL.
It's just a uk i know gossip
rag just looking for some highlights it's a rag people don't use that enough hey here's a question
for you guys did you guys ever remember back in the day when you'd be watching the news and there'd
just be some dude sitting behind a table and he would just bust out newspapers and start reading
from the newspapers is this the thing wait where just on the news like you'd be watching the
news they'd be sitting at their anchor desk and then there'd be a dude who would come in and be
like oh we're gonna look at the back pages and start like reading from the newspaper that was
never a thing okay then the segments that i've been workshopping is going away i i can i see
the vision if you want to go with it yeah there's something there's something there maybe it was a
uk thing and maybe i got it from watching soccer stuff.
Huh?
Dylan Chivry,
ladies and gentlemen.
Oh man.
Um,
there's a cool front headed this way.
Big,
a big boy.
Cool front.
I'm talking a temperature drop of like 40 degrees,
David.
You can call it a cold front if you want.
You know what?
All right.
Fuck it. It's a cold front.
So it's going to be a drop of 40 degrees dylan just
turned 40 and we're not doing edward 40 hands just for yeah this celebration i don't understand why
we can't do this look um i tried edward 40 hands when i was like 20 and it really it took me out
okay let's go to kelly's irish pub let's go to kelly's irish pub let's ask for pictures of
guinness and we'll just strap them to our hands and we have to finish them.
I'll do Edward pint hands.
Okay.
Fuck with that.
Do you think Kelly's would let us
duct tape pints to your hands?
Yeah.
Why the hell not?
How would you do Edward exactly one beer hand?
Like that?
Yep.
That would still be funny.
I'd be okay with that.
If you wanted to do...
Can you do a picture of Guinness with one hand?
We can just tie them both.
No.
Do you know who you're talking to?
I'll help you pee, dude.
I'll zip you.
I'll unzip you.
Good point.
Someone's going to have to help.
Maybe I'll wear my nappies.
In personal news, I just followed Maya Jama on the Grom.
It's dangerous.
Is that why your phone's smoking?
Yes.
Or did you update ios it's
because i followed my ajama on the grom it's draining your battery is she team follow back
uh not yet but it's been about a minute and a half she would be a great cameo get does she have
does she have it in her profile team follow back like micah did at the power plant let me look
hold on you're not really
looking you didn't crack your knuckles there you go yeah i see uh will defreeze follows her already
yeah i follow you know how much i love love island it's purely a transactional thing nothing about
team follow back in the bio but she hasn't yet seen me on the ground so maybe she'll uh
you know.
Do you think her and Sammy Sweetheart
are DMing back and forth right now
about how high you are?
Maybe so.
Her follower to following ratio is very impressive.
She follows under 1,000 people.
I don't think about the ratio as much as I used to.
I feel like that was an early social media thing.
Yeah.
That was like a 2017 Dave thing that I was worried about.
One time noted Philly's fan.
I'm really sorry, Dan.
Dan Regester.
He roasted me because I had more tweets than followers.
I was like, dude, that's kind of just, but like that's a little rude.
Okay.
I haven't really thought about that.
You had more tweets than followers?
Yeah.
That's such a Dan thing. Yeah. yeah i was like dude that it's a very
damn thing to think of things in that way which i enjoyed it bro he definitely dude he definitely
gave me a bit of a crisis in the bullpen at grand x for like a day you should you should delete
some of your old ones bro i thought i need to if there's a service out there that'll let you delete
like a mass delete tweets i would love to just get rid of some just so i don't have like 20 000
tweets on my timeline there is but i but I think they're sketchy.
The problem is it only deletes tweets and it won't delete your zits.
Oh, that's fine.
That's fine.
I see.
Yeah.
I searched something the other day on myself and I saw just a tweet that was old and it
wasn't like a bad tweet in terms of like getting canceled or anything.
It was a bad tweet because it wasn't funny.
I've got points.
And it was just like, dude, I have to delete this.
Yeah.
I deleted a Ryan Adams lyric from like 2011 that I put out at like 3 a.m.
Were you lonely?
Yeah.
Those are real player hours.
Yeah, that was a real –
So what happens during real player hours?
I was trying to figure this out when you were tweeting one night.
Only real players know.
That's when we thrive, 3 a.m that's when we thrive 3 a.m i
was i got up at 3 a.m last night and i walked i walked from my bed and i got on the couch because
i couldn't sleep with uh the feedings going on with our child and i didn't feel like a real
player at that point it was a real player hours though i looked out the window and i was like
damn i wish i had the energy to get up and shut this shade that's probably my best tweet ever
actually dylan interrupted Real Player Hours.
He came back to the office yesterday about 3,
and Brett was having a little concert out there.
And Dylan's like, can we turn this down?
I didn't mind the music so much.
I mean, it wasn't good, but I didn't mind it.
It was the volume.
Okay, you're telling me.
I couldn't focus on anything.
There was a mix of Creed, Matchbox 20.
What else, Randy?
I heard Adam's song.
There was some Blink in there, some Switchfoot.
Look, I respect that my taste in music is very different from everyone else in the office.
And so when you guys push me like that, I'm like, all right, go off.
Do your thing.
I never complain about the music.
I mean, I'll voice my opinion that it's not good, but I'll let you do your thing.
It was just too loud.
That's my only thing.
Look, I'm 40.
I'm going to take the aux today, y'all.
I'm 40 now, Dave.
I'm taking the aux today.
That means your hearing should be going away.
It shouldn't be too loud for you.
But also, loud noises bother me more than I'm 40.
Oh.
You know?
Anything else happen while you're 40?
Plenty.
Okay.
Did you make messy in your nappies?
No.
Okay. I still have complete control of my bowels thank you we've got a loaded rundown today boys it's loaded rundown yeah loaded like dave's nappy
over there exactly exactly i you don't know what's in this now i don't i wish you'd never read that
headline i won't dylan had dylan has the luxury of not seeing a photo of the gentleman in his
nappy said he makes messy yeah and like you just just be glad you weren't on this side of the table
for that dylan he was edgy i'm thankful some quick announcements before we get started today
willmont's polos are still available at rollback.com use backer 20 for 20 off anything on their site
they've loaded up some new stuff on there so often that I can't stop going. I love it.
Secondly,
spooky season is just
absolute heat right now. We did our fourth
episode yesterday. Fifth episode is coming
on Halloween next
week on Tuesday. It's going to be lit. We get
to dress up. Skelly might make an appearance.
You haven't seen shit until you
see these boys just buzzing on Halloween
spooky season. I'meen spooky season i'm so
excited i'm so excited this episode is almost certainly going to be buzzing i'm taking that
that day off by the way halloween yeah skelly's filling in for me a whole day i told you all that
that works yeah it works the whole day we also have a newsletter wash.substack.com we're doing
friday emails from that and pretty much if you want first access to anything from the wash shop
that's where you're going to get it to go to youtube.com slash circling
back. We have a ghost tour video on there, but you can find all of our episodes on there as well.
And, uh, without further ado, I think it's time boys. Have you guys missed this? Did you guys do
this while I was out? I think we did it one week. We tried one. Yeah. Jake was here and Jake was
rattling my cage so much about being a terrible host. I forgot to do it. Well, it's time for Will's five-star review.
He got in your dome, didn't he?
Of the Wii?
Yeah, he stays in it.
I'm excited.
This one comes from Friday of this week.
It's a good one.
Five stars from The Needful.
The Needful. Okay. It okay says producer micah's swing tips
big shouts to producer micah for jumping on the ones and twos a few weeks ago and providing a
player with the best swing tip of all time the thought of shutting a garage door in my backswing
has awakened the masculine urge to hit 270 yard piss missiles dead down the fairway something
dorn could only dream of.
That's right, dude.
I got you on the distance, but I don't hit it straight.
I don't hit it straight anymore, but that's okay.
I was looking at a chart the other day that was equating your age
with your handicap and showing how far you should drive the ball.
Based on being 36 and a 12.9 handicap,
any guesses on how long I should be driving the ball?
271.
I would say 255.
They said that the average at my thing was 230,
which felt low to me.
I don't consider myself a long hitter by any means,
but I can hit a 230.
With minus five wood.
230.
It is.
I thought that was interesting though.
I was like, okay. It made me feel a little good about myself. That can't be right. 230 it is it is that was interesting though it's okay that's
made me feel a little good about myself that's that's can't be right but it made me start
questioning my work around the greens that's just that's just that's short man what's it say
about exit velo that's short baller shit they didn't have anything on exit velo
hey can you guys point me in the direction of our next sponsor?
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Do we have a deal for them?
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Okay.
We don't.
The deal is y'all need to go check it out.
I mean, the deal is that you don't waste points.
We make them aware. Okay.
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as somebody who has botched it in the past,
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probably going to botch it. Allow them
to point you in the right direction.
That's good. That's a good tagline. I didn't even,
that just came off my head. That's a good tagline.
Dude, this dude's sick with it.
Randy brought something up yesterday that I was not familiar with.
I famously question whether or not dinosaurs even existed just because I have a brain on me.
I don't want to hear that.
And I think big paleontology is just using government funds.
Can you imagine if Parks was sitting here listening to your shit?
He'd break his little heart.
He'd come across his table at you, tiny little fist flying.
I'll come at you like a spider monkey.
Exactly.
He'd put his size,
I don't know,
two shoes right up your,
right up your bowl.
He'll stick,
he'll stick his boot up my ass.
It's the American way.
Yeah.
Does he have boots yet?
With the fur?
Yeah.
Well,
how?
He used to,
but he outgrew them.
It's probably time to,
that's the thing about kids,
man.
They just be growing.
So,
yeah.
Don't get too attached to their clothing.
Is that, you know?
Oh, take me back.
Fritz has some boots.
He's obsessed with them.
Kids love boots, dude.
Dude, it's all he wants to wear.
Kids want to be cowboys before they even know what cowboys are.
He was banned from wearing them from school.
Really?
He's not mobile in them.
Too alpha?
Not mobile in them.
He was banned from wearing them to school.
Yeah, you can't wear cowboy boots to school. Why the hell you can't wear cowboy boots or crocs i don't fucking know
that's bullshit i agree they're just discriminating against cowboy low-key low-key i have been putting
him in crocs and just sending him some days what if he was working the ranch all day and then goes
to school they're just like no yeah what's he tending the bar up there or what? He had to come out from Pecos Way.
You're making a dick saloon play.
My son is not a bartender, David.
Oh, there you go.
You're disgusting.
There's a bar called The Ranch.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were making a dick saloon joke.
The Ranch.
No, I got roadson boots he can't wear anymore.
They have like a wedge in them, so they make them like eight inches taller.
They're the meatball rons. That's good. him with what are those that's good they're like hey
that was like the first episode will was out we got to do meatball ron boots he's definitely
he's using risers dude yeah like the the way that his his boots point up like he's the
wicked witch the west yeah he's such a tough scene there's no toe at the end of that boot no dude
it's so bad it's so bad like if he had to run for some reason he would be in big trouble oh if he
gets a shoe thrown at him during a press conference he's not dodging that thing like dub you did
dub did famously dodge a shoe he looked swag doing it too yeah to sign a great
disrespect over there so some yes randy can you can you actually frame this for me because i have
done my best to not research this as i did not want to get any spoilers so can you kind of set
the scene here yeah so this is a kind of old noise from sandia national labs at least i think so i
tried looking it up they've they've been doing reconstruction of what dinosaurs would sound like
and this is from a couple years ago but it's it's making its way on tiktok right now and it's what a
t-rex actually would have sounded like not like the jurassic park it's uh it's a little little
eerie a little spooky wait before we hear we need to guess each of us what they sound like.
I want Dylan to go first.
I'll go second.
I want Will to close it down
because Will probably has it down.
No, I'm more worried about this
than I have been in a while.
So what are we guessing?
What a T-Rex sounds like.
Okay.
Are you going to make the noise?
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, we're making the noise.
Yeah, you have to say what you think it's going to be.
Terrible.
That's my T-Rex.
What's up?
That's a sassy-ass T-Rex.
What's up?
Okay.
I'm going to go.
Jesus.
That sounded like a zombie.
He's been practicing his noises that's that's a walking
dead like perfect walking dead zombie it really was if any if amc wants to reach out like i'll
do voiceover work kj probably knows a guy they already have it since yeah but i'm probably
cheaper kj and randy are the last two people i'm also willing to cross the picket line because i'm
not i'm not in sag the the official series is done but they still
have a movie and they're doing a spin-off with daryl i'm not watching the spin there's a spin
off they're out there they're having a meeting like we can't let these two people down we got
one guy wisconsin guy in austin only two people watching those are two big markets we got to give
him a something we gotta give him a good finale here i will watch the movie but here here is the noise
do a fucking movie
extreme Chuck D voice
bring the noise
how did they
how did they discover this
I think that they
science
like did they
like
because they have a time capsule
and they dropped a little recording in there
like they didn't holler
like they can't have like a voice box
and like
you know esophagus
from T-Rex
so how'd they reconstruct this?
They do.
I know you guys are joking around,
but I think they actually got a radio signal
from 200 billion light years ago,
which we'll talk about later,
and just happened to have it on the track.
Holy shit.
Some T-Rex was laying out bars,
and we got the SIG.
I think you have to look it up.
I think it's probably right 3d modeling
of esophaguses and stuff and what it sounds like esophagus esophagus esophagi you ever 3d modeled
an esophagus yeah you never mind i was gonna say yeah you're girls but that was a little far i
think yeah i've seen those ads in the banner. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
You're on a 30-second timeout.
Let's get to the T-Rex already, man.
You're not allowed to talk until 1820.
I'm sorry.
This is, it's like a little long.
It's like 30 seconds, so give it a listen. This is stupid.
Okay.
Okay.
That's terrifying.
Dude.
Yeah, this is very spooky.
That's me in your girl's ear.
That's me and your girls here.
Are we sure this isn't just like Ethiopian throat music?
That's the last thing you hear when you're about to get got, Dave.
Dude, this is kind of a vibe.
This is like drum space at a dead show.
Does this hit the decibel to where like when you hear it, it makes you your pants it's called make a messy the messy your nappy so did that seem to take us through several
different emotions of a t-rex yeah he was he was like we went i think we went from like just
chilling to mobbing with the boys to mating calls to anger kind of crazy to be one t-rex or a group
of t-rex is a gaggle i think it's just a majority of like what they make one T-Rex or a group of T-Rexes? It's a gaggle. I think it's just a majority of what they make.
One T-Rex, just multiple noises.
But it's also said that you could feel the noise
before you'd be able to hear it.
Because it's so deep and bellowy?
You know, that's interesting.
That kind of takes my entire perspective
on what a T-Rex would do.
Because I was under the impression that the T-Rex had one mode, sicko.
And based on that, there seems to be multiple modes.
Confirm?
I think, yes, confirmed.
More than sicko.
I tried to look up what a flock of T-Rexes would be called,
and I don't think there's a name for it.
But there is a name for the Tyrannosaurus Rex, if they're mobbing.
Any guesses on what they're called when they're together?
I'll give you a hint.
It starts with the same letter as Tyrannosaurus.
So a T.
I don't know.
A terror.
That's what sucks.
I got to play that for Parks.
He's going to get a kick out of that.
I might put that on the aux later.
Dude, it sounded like when Howard Stern put the speaker on the floor.
No, he talked the young lady into doing it.
He did like the...
Private parts.
Yeah.
Never saw it still.
That scene got a 12-year-old interested.
I may have watched it a few times.
Did y'all ever fuck with didgeridoos?
Well, we famously...
I feel like we were a didgeridoo podcast at some point.
I never fucked with a didgeridoo, no.
One of my boys copped a didgeridoo in high school.
Like a real one?
Kind of sounds like what T-Rexes sound like, honestly.
That's cool, man.
Yeah, a real one?
No, what do you think we got?
Can't you just close your eyes and imagine yourself in a field a field with the t-rex not at all i can
i don't know if this is like you know the scene in jurassic park where they're just chilling in
like the canopy of the the forest and like the guys are just like up there eating the leaves
and stuff i believe that's um jurassic park uh two i don't fucking know dude but yeah uh
it just seems like a really chill sitch i always thought the canopy when i was back in like Jurassic Park 2. I don't fucking know, dude. But yeah.
It just seems like a really chill sitch.
I always thought the canopy when I was back in elementary school would be a chill place to hang out.
You mean like a lean-to?
I still don't really know what a lean-to is.
Canopy, I don't really... I couldn't define it, but canopy is tight.
Like the rainforest canopy, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Can you name the levels of the rainforest?
No. i didn't
know there were levels really i feel like they really like made us go hard on that one year
one is the grass no they've got the forest floor the understory the canopy in the emergent layer
obviously dude i stay on that emergent layer dude i'm always emerging like what's i'm on my next shit okay okay that's fucking awesome dude
that's so sick of you man i'm just looking down at you on the canopy i'm just up here like
you're looking for that next grind the ops hate it yeah ops are down there on the surface level
man i'm just thinking about that t-rex what's't randy weren't you saying you were trying to get
a can of pee this this weekend yes ew just a can don't admit that that was not me trying to
get you to admit anything no he's just being honest maybe a full bottle oh i saw bear grills
drink a can of pee once he was stuck in the desert he had no choice to just as like a reminder for
someone who might be getting peed on more than normal by their son um like pee is sterile right
like i don't need to like freak out no you're gucci kai you seen that that uh bear grills someone
was making fun of him they showed up like a side-by-side shot of a place that he had been to
and he was trying to like act like he was in the middle of nowhere and they they panned over and it's right next to a highway with cars are just screaming by there's a
qt right down the road it's like dude come on come on bro they say they say that it's staged come on
i trust bear i don't trust it there was a period of time and when i was a younger lad where i wanted
to call like a kid bear if you need a good name you're
putting a lot on his plate if you name him bear like he's got to live up to him if i could guarantee
that he was a brunette and not a redhead i think i could have gone bear but the redhead part of it
was just too too forefront of my my brain that you can't call a redheaded kid a bear as long as
as long as your kid gets your uh beard, then I think they'll be good.
I don't know if I want them to get my beard genetics.
No, they're both redheads.
Red beards are sick.
Yeah.
Isn't there like a pirate called Red Beard?
Black Beard.
Isn't Red Beard light his beard on fire?
I believe we had a...
Do you know it?
Yeah.
Trivia question about Black Beard.
What's his real name?
I guess William Thornton and I was wrong.
David Jones and me.
Edward Teach.
Oh, Eddie Teach, they called him.
I thought there was a pirate named Redbeard as well.
Well, you don't know much, do you, Dave?
There's someone named Redbeard.
I don't know much.
There's got to be a Redbeard out there, yeah.
The guy from Game of Thrones?
Yeah.
Well, there's Frederick Barbarossa.
Oh, Freddie B?
Yeah, he was Frederick I, the Holy Roman Emperor,
from 1122 to 1190.
Not a good dude.
I don't know if that's true.
He could have been great.
There's a British tactical nuclear weapon called the Red Beard.
There's also a 1965 Japanese film.
Micah probably has seen this, by Akira Kurosawa, called Red Beard as well.
If it's not French, he hasn't seen it.
That's true.
He's on that noir shit.
He really tried to convince us one time that he doesn't watch American movies at all, only French.
That's drippy as hell, dog.
Why does Frederick Barbosa look so sassy? dude he's going off facts he's sassy
with it dude that that t-rex sound is scary i'm into it downright terrifying i'm into it that's
kind of a vibe yeah i could i could max out and relax to that all day for sure is it kind of
surprising that there aren't any like dinosaur names for any
professional sports teams toronto raptors oh yeah okay yeah doy yeah they used to have a dope logo
too the when they changed that i lost all respect for the franchise until they won a title with
kawaii i think it's been pete or pete blackburn's been going pretty hard on the the boring jerseys
on twitter lately which i appreciate the 90s were just absolutely go the boring jerseys on Twitter lately, which I appreciate. The 90s were just
absolutely goaded for jerseys.
Supersonics? Yeah, all of them, dude.
Even the Mavs old stuff.
I say this, but I also hated when the Pistons
flipped over to the Teal.
I like it as a mix-in
every once in a while for a fun night.
Raptor's a name
that really plays
well as a mascot. It no whether i'm thinking of
other dinosaur names they don't really work like can you do a t-rex it doesn't sound that great
yeah we hadn't heard from raptor in a while what group of animals think has the most mascots
tiger has to be like bear or tiger tigers gotta be there are like seven for sure. Birds or mammals?
Mammals.
Birds or mammals?
Is that what you said?
I was going to say birds or mammals.
Oh, they said birds. Yeah, do we think there's more birds or more mammals?
I'm about to throw a flag on your ass.
Penalty.
Oh, he's doing it.
Oh, no.
Not very many insects or reptiles.
Hold on.
You're out of here.
I threw him out.
The Diamondbacks in the World Series, that's a reptile.
Gators.
You know?
You know?
No, that's interesting about the dinosaurs.
They're really pretty much raptors.
That's it?
Yeah.
I mean, a pterodactyl, that'd roll off the tongue.
Too many syllables.
Tennessee pterodactyls. It's a syllable play many syllables tennessee pterodactyl it's a syllable play it is you could do the t-rexes that'd be kind of sick yeah yeah okay you probably think a pterodactyl is a dinosaur and you'd be wrong
idiot it's dinosaur adjacent they're around the same time they're up there they're up there on that fucking uh
can above the canopy whatever that is you already forgot what it is yeah what is it i did too
emerge emerging um yeah emerging the other night we were sitting there reading a
bedtime story to fritz and it was really dark in the room, and Sally just started reciting the book
without reading the book,
and she recited the entire book from memory.
Holy shit.
And I was sitting there.
I was like, our brains are so different.
I could have never gotten anywhere here.
She's like the guy from Suits.
Stop making everything about Suits.
You're so horny for Meghan Markle, dude.
She's not going to F you.
No, Spencer Abigail.
My favorite character in Suits is the guy who does
emergers and acquisitions.
Okay.
You're still on the emerging.
I always wanted to practice that area of law,
but I never did.
You always wanted to emerge and acquire?
Mm-hmm.
That's cool.
What, Will?
What's the book she reads?
Can you...
What?
It's a little hot in here.
You toasty?
Are you setting up an ad read?
I feel like he might be.
This is giving ad.
Yeah, Dylan, thank you for turning down the thermostat.
You guys feel that chill in the air?
Yes.
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My Golden Knights cannot lose.
They cannot lose.
Only seven-win team in the NHL, David.
They've played way too many games.
Well, take it up with the league office.
We have the luxury right now.
Not Brett, because his team's absolutely bricking it.
But we have the luxury right now of having a circling back renaissance of NHL teams right now.
Red Wings are looking fast and fun.
The Dallas Stars are just maintaining.
They're buzzing.
They're buzzing.
We're buzzing.
We're emerging.
I'm happy.
I'm happy.
Hockey will is a different will, as we all know.
I need it.
If I weigh 220 pounds at the end of this season,
it's because hockey will is officially back.
You have to be like 5'8", 220.
Is it because you've been training?
No, because you've seen the video of me, dude.
Hockey will is a problem.
I know. He likes Canadian beers a lot. I want that will back in here. training no because you've seen the video of me dude hockey will is a problem i know he likes
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Woo-hoo!
Kind of chunky there, isn't it?
Oh, baby!
That felt good, though.
You guys don't know how good that
feels you know yeah you guys ever have you guys ever surfing and you're like oh shit i dropped
into a really big wave but then you settle into the tube and you're just like okay this is the
good spot that's where i found myself that's where i found myself next thing you know you're just like
toes on the nose and like bombs out the back it's a good place to be what was that guy's name Hector
since you did extreme
what extreme voice did you do earlier
Chuck D
I'm gonna do extreme
Beastie Boys
voice
hey ladies
I used to fuck with the BET boys a little bit.
Cool.
They're the reason I can name all five boroughs in New York.
This recently came up somewhere.
Name them then, bitch.
Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten.
BX.
Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten.
Manhattan.
Manhattan.
That's not it.
I'm not good at it. No got some heat though they also got some chill vibes too
look up beastie boys i don't know you'll buy i still think sabotage is a top 10 music video
of all time you could make i think you could make a case for it being the goat coachies i'm not saying i'm making a case for it to be the goat but i do think that there's a case for it being the GOAT. Cochise?
I'm not saying I'm making a case for it to be the GOAT,
but I do think that there's a case that, hey,
they made the best music video of all time.
Fred Kelly as Bunny?
It was great.
He's like intergalactic quite a bit.
Why was I hollering at the ladies?
What are we doing?
Hey, ladies.
Oh, it's going viral.
Things go viral for all sorts of reasons.
But a group of ladies made a list of places men should not take them on a first date.
And I just wanted to get you got your takes.
Let's talk all these out.
We'll start at the bottom.
Randy's not going to like some of these.
There's 28 of them.
And I'm not going to do all 28.
I could.
I'm just going to read them.
And then you guys stop me when you have a problem.
And I'm stopping it.
I'm starting at number 28. I'm going to stop you at several of these.
Sports events.
Isn't that where you took a list on a first date?
Mavs game.
There you go.
And then the Texas Tucks bar.
This list eliminates almost everything.
I have to say, outside of Sally, I have never taken a partner to a sports game.
Nor have I. Like, I've never gone on a date to a game. Nor have I.
Like, I've never gone on a date to a game.
Nor have I.
Waffle House.
It's a good late night spot.
One of these...
Can I expose myself real quick?
Sure.
Yeah.
I've never been to a Waffle House.
Excuse me?
Let's change that.
Never? I would love to. We've never gone to a Waffle House. Excuse me? Let's change that. Never?
I would love to.
We've never gone cracked peppered.
How does it work?
What?
Dude, you went off on that.
I'm with Will here.
I've only been once or twice,
and that's on a road trip for spring break.
We were IHOP country.
Some people know what I'm talking about.
I'll figure it out.
You know what?
I enjoy IHOP more than Waffle House, but I do love Waffle House. country some people know what i'm talking about i'll figure it out i you know what i enjoy i hop
more than waffle house but i do love waffle house yeah i don't think you really get into
waffle houses until like really southern indiana kentucky area i'm more of an awful waffle guy
oh shout out ug you're a waffle stomp guy right you can order your uh your hash and you people
you customize it by saying like cracked pepper covered.
It's a thing.
I don't do it.
It's a thing.
Some people get it.
I like cracked pepper on everything.
Some people get it.
On the hash?
I don't want to.
I like my hash browns have a lot of salt, a lot of pepper.
Anyway.
Same.
Go ahead.
Okay.
One of these says any fast food chain.
Let Dave get to it.
Let Dave freaking get to it, dude.
I can't even do the freaking segment.
What do you want?
What?
I apologize. A bar just freaking segment. What do you mean? What? I apologize.
A bar just for drinks.
Bullshit.
Isn't that the number one thing?
That's my move.
Can I say, I understand why this, if a guy, okay, I have been out of the dating scene
famously for a while.
However, I feel like there's something, if you say, let's just go meet for drinks, I feel like that's not as serious as like, I would like to go get a meal of food.
Here's my thinking on first date is I don't want to commit to a full meal with someone
because what if we're not vibing and we're stuck sitting across each other for two hours?
It's like, all right, let's go get a couple of drinks, feel each other out.
Well, not like that.
And then we'll go from there.
If we want to parlay that into, let's go to a next out. Whoa. Not like that. And then we'll go from there.
If we want to parlay that into, let's go to a next stop.
Great.
But I don't want to commit to anything beyond just a couple of drinks.
If you're at a bar with a young lady, would you holler at an app?
At an upscale bar.
Maybe.
Again, we would have to be getting along.
Would you holler at an app?
Order an appetizer.
Bruschetta?
What I'm saying makes a lot of sense.
So I actually understand why you wouldn't want to, like, I, okay.
If this list said, don't bring them here if you're trying to get taken seriously.
Like, I would understand someone saying like, oh, you need to bring me to a nice meal and not just drinks.
I get it.
But I also think that there's a place and time for both.
If you're really trying to impress, get them a meal. Also Also the term bar can have, there are different layers there, right? It could be, I mean,
Canopy, Xanax, Emerging.
Okay. What I was going to say is like, there are super casual bars, like a sports bar,
no.
B-dubs.
They're upscale cocktail.
B-dubs sets the tone.
B-dubs might be a problem for you fellows.
Go to a cocktail bar, like a nice place. It's quiet.
You can have a nice conversation.
Order a young lady whatever she wants.
You get a whiskey drink.
It's not like your hammer and beers in a loud bar.
You know what I mean?
Cider drink.
Hookah bar made the list.
I get it.
I've never hookahed.
I've done it and I –
Anytime I've done it, I've've just been like why aren't we at
a bar i'd rather be at a bar oh what's wrong with the coffee date stop skipping ahead no it's so
you could skip it i've skipped ahead i did boker bowling i feel like randy have you ever taken a
girl on a first date bowling he brought his own but that i feel like that's very high school
so some of these seem obvious to me. Family function, of course not.
Church, not on a first date.
You don't go to church.
What's wrong with an ice cream date on a first date?
Right.
That seems like a really good one.
That's a killer.
That's a killer idea.
Like, I don't understand how you could,
like, I don't even understand an angle that you could take
where you're raining on an ice cream date.
That's a cute scene.
Red Lobster, Randy, sorry, man.
I'm just going to go alone to get Endless Shrimp.
Don't worry.
I'm going to be honest.
As being the chain restaurant guy, I agree with probably 90% of this list.
It's the coffee date and the bar just for drinks.
That's ridiculous.
Is there any fast food chain you can think of that would be acceptable?
Fast food?
I knew a guy.
I knew a guy who took...
You met him.
Played golf with him.
Took a young lady to Taco Cabana in college.
Okay.
Get some bars.
You don't know.
Taco Cabana.
I've only picked up from Taco C.
It is not a first date spot.
Do people actually go on first dates to the gym?
I know people have done gym dates, but is first date a thing?
Fit couples. Sometimes you meet them at the gym and it's like, gym dates but his first day is a thing fit fit couples like they
sometimes you meet them at the gym and it's like all right let's work out together you know a little
thing like that i've never done it never would but it's a thing you meet them at the gym
oh m-e-e-t okay well you gotta be more specific dude i can't just get a normal sentence out
around these perverts what's wrong with a coffee date? It says all of them.
Literally nothing.
Nothing.
It's a great get-to-know-you environment.
Looking at this list, there are several on here where I'm like, yeah, I get it.
You don't go to Wingstop on a first date.
Church is a lot on a first date.
Family functions, absolutely not.
Movie night, Netflix, Hulu.
I could see a case for that maybe on a snowy night during cuffing season.
Somewhere that requires a long drive, absolutely.
So where are we allowed to go on a date now?
I'm trying to go back to the first dates that I've
done and I'm realizing that I think maybe
I botched it. P.F. Chang's isn't on here.
That was my spot in high school.
Seems like nice restaurants are the only acceptable
first date spots. Okay, why is
Cheesecake Factory number one on the list
of do not go i know some
of that just went on a date to cheese it's an excellent menu well granted you need like uh
two hours to go through it all it is a good menu though so what do we have to do here go to like a
wine bar and get some tapas or something the movies you can't take you can't take a baddie
to a flick i think you get the tapas at buffalo wild oh okay okay callback well i'm so glad i'm
so glad i don't have to date right now.
The movies?
I feel more like I'm drowning right now than I have in a while.
I don't know where I'd even go.
Oh, I would hate going on a date to the movies.
First date?
Laser tag's not on here, Randy.
Fuck yeah.
Frisbee golf's not on here.
I don't see paintball on this list.
I'm not looking forward to getting back into the dating scene i would like to know the average age of these women if they're just young girls that don't
they're just super picky still i don't feel it necessary to uh ask a woman her age so way to go
randy if i wanted to take a girl on a coffee date and she was like that's what you she was like
disgusted by it i'd be okay, this is a red flag.
Like if you can't just go on a basic coffee date, I don't think we're going to vibe.
Man, I saw a video hit the TL the other day of a young lady who refused to get out of the car on her first date because he took her to a chain place.
She was like filming herself like this guy just took me.
I'm like, I'm not getting out of the car.
And he was like tapping on the window like trying to open it for us that's a tough scene if i'm him
if i'm him i'm saying okay let's go somewhere nice and i pull up to somewhere with a valet i go up
and i drop her i get her out of the car and then i drive off that's bye see ya you pull out your
phone start recording like that's it's over i i'm guessing they didn't have a second date i've never
had a bad first date from my end of the i haven't either i've had maybe from their end of the table
wasn't a good first day but i never walked away from a first date from my end of the table. I haven't either. I've had, maybe from their end of the table, wasn't a good first date,
but I never walked away from a first date being like,
man, I botched that.
Yeah, same.
But second dates, I've had bad second dates.
I don't like first dates at all, but usually go okay.
What's your pickup line?
Aren't you like, what's your favorite color?
No, I don't do that.
What's your major is what I say.
No.
Dude, why would you look yourself up to that?
Why you, you just, that's up to that? Why do you?
That's good.
That's good.
That was always like the joke back in college.
Don't go up to a girl and say that.
Everyone says that.
So what are you studying?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
You like it?
Didn't you always say you're in the comm program?
So what do you want to do with that?
I was in mass comm.
Mm-hmm.
I was in strategic calm. I was in strategic calm.
Dylan.
I want you to first date someone to a church,
but it's a church you've never been to.
Scientology?
Take me to church.
Yeah.
There is one in Austin.
You just pull up to a random Methodist church.
Just one that you've never been to.
And she's like, oh, you come here every Sunday?
No, I've never been.
Just wanted to check it out.
It would be a really weird move.
Free wine. I know.
But if it works.
Free wine.
That's true.
Not much, but you get some.
Just a little nip.
Just a little nip.
I've got a major problem with ice cream.
Go to a Catholic mass and just get it talked down to.
I once went on an ice cream date, but I don't think I knew it was a date at the time.
Damn.
Everybody was going to the football game and I didn't have a ticket.
And this other girl didn't have a ticket.
And she was like, why don't we go eat ice cream?
And I was like, okay.
That's a meet cute.
And we went to a Cold Stone Creamery and we didn't talk about much.
And then we went our separate ways and never spoke ever again.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. maybe she didn't like my mix-ins did you keep tipping them you probably having them sing did you go with sprinkles i didn't hit
them with oh i kind of did hit them with sprinkles the other day you should have gone to stone cold
creamery it's the bottom line because stone cold said so yeah brother the different wrestler brother
but a wrestler hey to anyone out there who's dating uh please consult this list and let us
know how it goes it would be funny if somebody made it their goal to like check off each one
of these yeah if someone can do this list in order and marry them that like that if you do
this list in order then you probably just should get married of all of the food related ones on here what is the absolute
worst i am going to say honestly my initial reaction is number four chipotle me too because
chipotle is so that is so not like you can't even sit you don't even sit down and get like someone
come up to you and ask yeah that's too movie. Yeah, that's too much sodium.
I would say any fast food chain, like going to like McDonald's on a first date.
Yeah, but Chipotle kind of folds in there.
Any counter service place, you can't do that.
McDonald's could be like, you could spin that into like a cute date.
Maybe, I don't know.
Get the grandma shake.
Yeah, get, yeah.
What's up, babe?
Have you ever gotten a McGangbang?
Oh, God. Hookah bar bar that's an off-menu item there's hookah bars around town i don't know i find one it's pretty big in the uk
it's what what do you what do you smoke smoke do there tobacco they have like little they have
like little mouthpieces that you can i think they sterilize them or you can maybe bring your own
i don't know randy thank you for answering my question. Yeah, it's like flavored tobacco.
Oh, I was actually answering your question.
I thought you meant like how do you do it?
And I think you have like an attachment that you put on that they sterilize.
I was just wondering like what is the substance here?
Oh, I usually bring my own shit.
It's just that like weird little brick that looks like hard drugs sitting on a piece of foil.
I usually bring my Primo.
No, that's the hot coal that heats up the tobacco that's underneath the hot coal.
Oh.
Yeah, it's like goopy tobacco
that's like flavored
and the hot coal sits on top
of the tin foil
and heats it up.
I don't like the sound
of goopy tobacco.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you for enlightening me there, Randy.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Can you bring your own sticky?
You just blew my mind.
Yeah.
You can bring your own sticky.
I bring my Primo. I've only been to hookah bars in ann arbor michigan that's it
there's a lebanese restaurant my neighbor brought us to and they had hookah and it was sick
i didn't hookah but i did eat lebanese food it was good really good dope shisha i had some
lebanese friends back in the day we just we just kind of went out of contact okay yeah yeah they
were cool they were chill dudes.
Yeah.
They showed me my first ever pornographic film.
Do you remember which one it was?
No, it made me really uncomfortable.
We're just six dudes sitting at your parents' house
watching a pornographic film right now.
It's like that's how it usually goes down.
Yeah.
Remind me after the episode
to show you what these gentlemen are doing now.
Okay.
Very interested.
Let's check it out.
You guys know I like to
get behind the wheel
every once in a while.
We had the absolute pleasure
of getting behind the wheel
of a Tenali recently
from Alfa Romeo.
Yeah, we did.
Back in the day,
I used to look at Alfa Romeos
on the street and be like,
man, I can't afford any of these.
I don't think I'll ever be able to.
These things are so luxurious. They pass the eye test 10 times out of 10 but then i realized i was like wait these are within reach baby they are affordable like these things are loaded with tech
they got the large touch screen they got the safety tech the automatic emergency braking but
most of all these things are just fun to drive they're zippy little guys we got we've gotten a
lot of alfa romeo lately. They're quick, man.
They are very comfortable.
Like you mentioned the tech.
I still got to learn all the tech that goes into these things.
It's a lot of tech.
Dude, I mean, if you saw the onboard videos we had from the race,
these things were just getting shifted like crazy.
He was working that paddle, wasn't he?
Like Dave on Big Brother Night with that thing.
The Alfa Romeo boys love their Alfa Romeos.
That's for sure.
But they got that plug-in hybrid technology as well,
freedom to choose between gas or electric.
Just go check these things out.
You can learn more about the Alfa Romeo Tonale at alfaromeousa.com.
You can also check them out at Alfa Romeo USA on the Grom.
Add me on the Grom.
Tonale.
I didn't have my music queued up.
What are you doing? You might want to get your your head space bar space bar welcome to the that's terrible motherfucking space not only
is this just bad but you're just plagiarizing another thing that we have you're right i'm
sorry man everybody get up it's time to space bar.
Oh, another discovery thanks to our good friend Jimmy Webb in the telescope.
Is he alive or is Jimmy Webb – is this a namesake kind of thing?
I don't know the answer to that.
I probably should because I'm a space guy.
What are you finding?
Are you doing some research over there?
James Webb.
It seems as though the telescope has really taken over his seo yeah well that that would make sense he was the nasa director for a
while um yeah but he he passed march 27th of 1992 he didn't even get to see the hubble
no but this telescope goes back in time,
so he'd get to see it eventually, right?
Great point.
When did the Hubble take flight?
Hard to say, really.
I feel like the Hubble's been around since before 1992.
There's no way to look it up.
That's the thing.
That's true.
I just tried.
Yeah, nothing.
Nothing?
It was launched in 1990.
He saw the Hubble. Fuck yeah. You don't know shit, dude. That was close, nothing. Nothing? It was launched in 1990. He saw the Hubble.
Fuck yeah.
You don't know shit, dude.
That was close, actually.
I don't know.
Maybe he had like a crippling disease and he didn't realize the Hubble was going up.
You know?
Way to go, Dylan.
Make it weird with James.
Why'd you slight Jimmy?
Anyway, what's going on?
What'd they discover?
Yeah, so Jupiter.
You guys familiar with Jupiter?
Yeah.
It's the largest planet in our solar system, David.
It was the planet that when I was in a class and we had to do reports on planets, I would always skew Jupiter.
I was always trending Saturn.
Really?
Yeah.
What were you doing?
Neptune?
Uranus is right there on a silver platter.
I'm not going to do that, Doug.
I'm above that.
You guys would probably take that.
I think I was a Jupiter guy, too.
I was a big Jupiter guy.
Because it was just so fucking big.
I thought the eye was cool.
I thought the eye was really cool.
Just a big-ass planet, man.
Yeah.
What were you, Randy?
I think I was more like a Pluto guy.
I knew you were going to say Pluto, dude.
That is very Randy.
Not a planet, famously, right? Yeah, dwarf planet. I'm team Pluto more like a Pluto guy. I knew you were going to say Pluto. That is very Randy. Not a planet, famously, right?
Yeah, dwarf planet.
I'm team Pluto, still a planet.
I wonder what Dave could bench press on Jupiter.
Probably like two pounds.
Could you out bench press me on Earth versus me on Jupiter?
Everything's heavier on Jupiter.
It would be the other way around.
Flip it.
Yeah.
I probably couldn't bench much, man.
What's your VO2 max on Jupiter?
VO2 max on Jupiter? VO2 max?
I'm not familiar with that phrasing.
Wow, dude.
Not surprised.
So what is this?
All right, so Jupiter is one of the first targets observed by the Jimmy Webb telescope
when it initially turned its infrared gaze to the universe in July 2022.
All due respect to Jupiter,
it seems like that is too close to us
for Jimmy Webb to be caring about at this point.
Yeah.
It discovered a never-before-seen feature of Jupiter.
Ooh, can we guess?
Sure.
Is there an emerging layer?
I don't think there's an emerging layer.
Okay.
Were there a bunch of former sponsor feature socks on Jupiter?
I'm wearing those right now.
I don't think so.
I still wear my feature socks.
They have not been a partner of ours for years, and they still are my go-to golf socks.
I love them.
So a high-speed jet stream was discovered on Jupiter's lower stratosphere, an atmospheric layer about 25 miles above the clouds.
The jet stream, which sits over the planet's equator, spans more than 3,000 miles wide and moves at 320 miles per hour, or twice the rate seen with sustained winds of a category five hurricane on earth
so if you have a house on a piece of land in jupiter it's probably not going to be there
um yeah it's probably not a good place to to build a vacation home is does this jet stream
have any like larger indications of anything i don't know okay i don't know what if that what if that punt
that originated around lubbock way what if that got caught up in the in jupiter's jet stream it's
just up there you got to think that it would really take off even more yeah because that's a
serious jet stream serious punt now i'm just interested in how much shit weighs on jupiter
like that's where my mind goes now you could probably look that up how much do i weigh
so like that that red spot is just a giant ass storm that's just going on forever
it's a forever storm it's been going on for 350 years do you think they're like as hell
like they don't need that rain anymore it's like living in seattle do you know how many
moons they have at jupiter sorry i just looked up fun Jupiter facts on chat GPT. Nine moons. Guess how many moons? My guess was
nine. Dylan? 35. I'm going to blow your little D's off, boys. Can't wait for this. 79 known moons.
79 known moons. Honestly, that's too many moons. four largest known as the galilean moons are io europa
ganymede and callisto catch me under the neon moon are you making any ganymede randy i will
i weigh 432 pounds on the moon fucking big boy big boy season bulking avocado dylan back if i
if i walked around jupiter for a year like i would get massive legs
no i can't grow my legs i would on jupiter it's just not happening for me and then i get back to
earth how did you be like i'd be squatting like like 1600 pounds it's a good squat 432 do you
know jupiter is the fastest rotating planet facts it's the fastest spinning planet our solar system it completes a
full rotation on its access axis in just under 10 hours that's too fast for me that's a full day
that's that's what that means 10 hour days up there on earth they're about 24 hours so what
are they how many hours they working on jupiter working 10 to 2 probably so probably so yeah i don't sleep when
i'm on jupiter i'm always just chasing the bag you're emerging that's just me though yeah 10
hour day i got i got no time to sleep no time to rest man just no man grind mode all the time
just stay sicko they still don't know the exact cause of the the eye on jupiter
it's interesting what do you think it is dad is this third eye blind
is that a butthole reference uh i believe it's like the third eye like your uh
brain okay yeah like i'm doing drugs man wow that's not that's a reduction
no i don't know did you know that girls go to college to get more knowledge and boys go to
jupiter to get more stupider facts i feel like i just got stupider boys go to jupiter to get more
leg mass it's true that's right all you gotta do is walk around for me just hang out for one day
10 hours come come back.
Was Micah born on Jupiter?
I wonder what your vertical would be on Jupiter.
Look that up.
What if you jumped so high you got caught up in their jet stream?
You jump lower.
What if you jumped so high?
I don't know.
You'd probably be taken away.
They should take NBA players to Jupiter and have them train there.
It's like training in elevation.
Can you imagine how far they could jump in the air after they got back from Jupiter?
Or you could just wear a weight vest that's like 300 pounds.
Can you imagine a bunch of Toronto Raptors just on Jupiter just fucking balling?
Like Raptors?
Like dinosaurs?
Mm-hmm.
No, I can't.
I don't know what that would look like.
Just throwing alley-oops and dunking it through the eye of Jupiter?
What's the temperature out there? A lot. It's there a lot it's famously far away from the sun it's
pretty cold i think bro think about it it looks it just looks hot because it's all red and shit
you know it does give hot it's so cold it might be hot what's the temp dog minus 234 degrees
fahrenheit that's too cold it's minus 145 degrees Celsius.
I'm going to have to bring my fratagonia out there.
Bundle up.
That's so cold.
I'm going to bring my frat face.
No one said frat face.
No one said frat face. It's bad.
It was said.
It's bad.
It's not good, Dave.
It was said.
You hear about this asteroid? This is not Jupiter related Dave. It was said. You hear about this asteroid?
This is not Jupiter related.
Tell me about it.
This is the next Spacebar story.
Tell me about the new asteroid.
A nearby asteroid may contain elements beyond the periodic table.
Yeah.
All right.
This next sentence, I need you all to be mature.
Yeah.
Naturally occurring super heavy elements beyond those listed in the periodic table
could potentially explain why asteroid 33 polyhymnia is so dense
all right say that word hold on so what these are what they're super heavy elements really
super heavies yeah so we got some super heavies on the TL just flying through space. Yeah. The element is...
I fucking saw it earlier.
Is it element 115?
I really enjoy the source for this.
Is it space.com?
Space.com.
Fuck yeah.
Space.com.
Yeah.
I mean, I feel like we should be able to collect asteroids easier than we're doing.
But if they have super heavy elements to them, I think we should be collecting them even faster.
You can...
Never mind.
What makes it qualify as an asteroid?
I believe it's size.
Okay, so we have a meteor.
We have a comet.
We have an asteroid.
I don't know the difference between those three meteors are little fellas i think comments will like take the planet out can i describe what a
super heavy element would be yeah okay it's not a pair of the term super heavy typically refers
to elements that are much heavier than most naturally occurring elements in the periodic table in the context of chemistry and nuclear physics, or as Dave says, nuclear, nuclear physics.
Super heavy elements are those with atomic numbers significantly higher than the heaviest naturally occurring element, which is uranium, with an atomic number of 92.
I always knew Selina Gomez.
How can something be heavier than just heavy?
I don't know how to answer that question, Will.
They're highly unstable and often exist for only
extremely short periods of time before undergoing
radioactive decay.
Radioactive.
Radioactive.
Is Big Content Guy aware of the super heavy situation that's upon us right now it's
probably on his radar okay yeah okay hmm there's another story space related about a radio signal
that was detected from like eight billion light years away turns out it's not like the radio
signal like you're thinking it's not like f FM radio. And I listen to some alien jazz music or something.
It just happened because two things collided and it emitted a signal.
It's not alien Alex Jones?
No.
What would that sound like, Bill?
Box.
Box, what are they doing on Zircon?
Folks, the Orion Belt isn't even real.
That's good. It sounds just like human uh alex jones but he's talking about different kind of shit it's a paradox yeah p-a-r-a-d-o-x
ox
you goddamn son of a bitch.
They're turning the reptiles gay.
He does think that, yeah.
The frogs.
What?
Does he really?
I believe there was something.
The gay frog thing?
You've never heard that?
No.
I don't like them putting chemicals in the water and turning the freaking frogs gay.
You've never heard that rant?
They can actually just turn the frogs asexual.
I do my best to avoid his content.
I'll put that out there.
It's like his number one thing.
He's out there, man.
Maybe we should, I mean,
maybe Wilmont's should do a little side project.
What do you mean?
Like, what if they had a bar called the Gay Lizard?
Okay.
Hookah?
I think all are welcome at Wilmots, obviously.
But, I mean, if we want to do an offshoot bar, that might go off in, you know, after hours.
Gay Lizard can play.
That's something.
We'll cook on that for a little bit, see what happens.
I think I got a little reptile in me.
We'll throw it in the...
What is it?
See what happens.
See if it... Throw it in the... What is it? See what happens. See if it...
Throw it in the skillet.
See what's popping.
We'll throw some ideas in the wok and see what comes out crispy.
There it is.
Maybe with the skillet.
Working it.
Skilly keg.
Working it.
That works.
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Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend?
Thanks for asking, Will.
Kind of a big weekend.
Birthday dinner for your boy on Friday.
I haven't had a chance to really celebrate yet with friends or family, for that matter.
So Friday, Matzo Rancho.
Big squad coming out.
Big squad for my 40th birthday dinner.
Got a little family sprinkled in there and
ton of friends i can't wait maybe bounce to a bar afterward is kendall gonna be there
uh yeah let's go yeah absolutely it's gonna be a great crew man i'm really excited for that
yeah yeah may hit him like i said may hit a bar afterward maybe get a spooky cocktail maybe just
go to a little hole in the wallthe-wall beer joint that we love.
Don't know yet.
We could all vibe out in the COVID dumpster down the street.
We could.
I don't know how much fun that would be.
We certainly could do that.
I think we could make it fun.
Whole squad getting tested.
Saturday, some Texas football tickets just fell in my lap this morning thanks to a very generous backer by the name of Emily.
Thank you, Emily.
Very kind of you to give football tickets
to me and my son and my partner.
Man, mine aren't...
And she knows I'm the Longhorn fan, so...
Mine aren't coming through, my tickets.
Yeah.
So who they got again?
BYU, Brigham Young.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Malik, getting the ball, huh?
Getting the nod, it looks like.
Yeah.
Then I have a family dinner after that.
Big soaking weekend in Austin.
A lot of soakers.
It is going to be a wet one.
A lot of soakers coming in.
Got a dinner after that with my family.
Doing friend dinner Friday night, family dinner Saturday night.
Family.
And it's going to be a great weekend, man.
Is Dom going to be there from Fast and Furious? He's gonna be a great weekend man is dom gonna be there
from fast and furious yes family yeah he'll be there give me that little rundown of this guest
list like who who's yeah do we have any absolute hitters on this guest list for your birthday
dinner we have the mvp who's your early mvp runner we have the gentlemen of washed media okay i'm one
of them um and um maybe a significant other or two sprinkled in from that
group we have my high school squad who you met on my bachelor party we're talking mikey and eugene
jared frank david another david in the squad shirt change in the parking lot or what toad man will be there travis have you met toad before he's a real treat got uh my sister hayley my brother-in-law kindle
damn we'll be there cooking right now um i've extended invites to barrett and to micah
our friend r. Damn.
Who else we got in there?
If I'm forgetting,
Strat Daddy?
Total Strat move will be there?
It's going to be a race to get a good seat at this table.
With his lovely fiance, Amy?
Who's going to middle?
Something tells me
we're going to have multiple tables.
Who's going to middle?
I think Charlie DeFreeze
might even be there.
I'm going to try to ditch him.
Okay.
But he might be just forced to go.
Are we allowed to call him Chuck or is that a no-go? I don't really like Chuck. Is that a non-starter? I've going to try to ditch him, but he might be just forced to go. Are we allowed to call him Chuck, or is that a no-go?
I don't really like Chuck. I've never been a Chuck guy.
I have had a couple moments at home where I start to say something Chuck,
and then I stop myself. I don't want to go down that road. I don't want to get used to it.
Can I call him Charlie boy? Yeah.
That pretty much covers the squad, I think. If I'm forgetting one or two people,
hopefully they're not listening. They won't call me out for it.
But I think that's pretty much everybody.
Okay.
It's going to be a good group.
David Blaine?
David Blaine, he might levitate in at some point, but I wouldn't count on it.
Okay.
Does David Blaine just always Irish goodbye?
Mm-hmm.
He just disappears?
People are like, oh, the check's out.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know.
Yeah.
It's going to be a squad.
We'll have to split up into two different tables.
Hopefully not, though.
Boys and girls.
Oh, Kayla.
Thanks for reminding me.
You said girls.
Kayla will be there as well.
I'm going to apologize to her at dinner.
For what?
For numerous things.
I'm going to apologize for not helping more building the chairs at Grand X in the conference room.
We just all laughed at her while we were just checking Twitter.
I'm going to apologize for formally complaining to Grand X about the snack situation the day before a mass layoff.
I feel like you've seen her a bunch of times since your Grand X.
No, but now I finally have it in me to apologize.
Okay.
Yeah. I've been carrying this guilt for a long time your grandma's death. No, but now I finally have it in me to apologize. Okay. Yeah.
I appreciate that.
I've been carrying this guilt for a long time.
It's good.
Let it out.
At a Tex-Mex dinner.
Ran into her on the trail the other day.
We walked together for a minute.
Truck sticker?
It was a meet cute, honestly.
Great.
You just trucked her?
No.
Like you did Carlos Sainz?
Yeah.
Well, he had it coming.
What's that boy getting into this weekend?
My weekend
really kicks off
this evening.
We got a little
Mav Spurs on ESPN.
Luca,
Wemby,
it's going to be a big one.
Tomorrow,
I'm going to come
into the office,
you know,
just get some FaceTime in.
Probably won't do much
of anything.
Just be like,
what's up?
I'll probably leave.
Then I got Killers of the Flower Moon at 640.
Pretty stoked about that.
Got to remember to take my PP meds tonight
so I don't have to take more than one bladder break.
Didn't have to throw that detail in there, but I did.
Then Friday, not much of anything.
I'll probably lay low.
Just kidding. I'll be at dinner. I'll be at dinner. Might be low just kidding i'll be at dinner i'll be at dinner you might be solo but i'll be hey i'm sorry that it's during game one of the world series day that
was total accident well i will be watching it on my phone at the table bring your bring your
laptop with the tablet dude i mean i'm going i have no issue with doing that i don't really
mind being that guy i don't care this is such a big crew anybody that would care about that like you stink it's the
world series are all your boys from high school rangers fans it's a mix bron's not okay toad's a
big astros guy isn't he he is a not he is an astros guy uh jared i think is a rangers guy
mikey is an astros guy fucking mikey's
you're gonna take his shirt off to drive up he probably will shout out to him that's what that's
what he does supposed to pick with him so people can put a face to the name okay um saturday why
the reason why i won't be so the reason why i'm not upset about having to watch game one
from my friend's b-day dinner is one I don't it's
fine go to friend's b-day dinner it's a 40th birthday can't miss that yeah but I'm going to
game two I'm driving up to Duncanville my dad and I are going to game two of the world series
they're playing it in Duncanville well that's where that's where I'm gonna that's my home base
and then we're gonna drive out uh westbound 20-way and go to the Globe Life Field, the park that I have not been to yet.
Are you excited for the park?
Yes.
Texas Live.
Going to get some beers before.
Going to go in, cheer on the boys.
Hopefully it works out.
I'm very excited about that.
Then I will be driving back early Sunday morning
and hopefully get road to soccer practice.
And then, yeah, Sunday.
Sunday's that cold front day.
Yeah.
Well, it's Sunday evening.
It's going to blow through.
The coldest air will be Monday night,
but it's still going to be like noticeable
change so that's that's fun i like that i'll probably go stand outside just let it blow
blow in and that's it it's gonna be a fun one my weekend starts tomorrow going out to dinner with
some friends instead of doing a food train we were like let's just go dude let's just go out to dinner
like let's just let's just not so i'm's just go out to dinner. Like, let's just, let's just not.
So I'm going to go out and do that.
Um,
Friday,
obviously going to Dylan's 40th birthday party at Matt's famous hell ranch.
I'm very excited about that.
Um,
probably going to go out after and have a spooky cocktail.
Uh,
Saturday,
not a lot on the schedule.
Saturday,
Saturday is going to be one of those days where it's just me getting my,
my reps in with the boys hanging out,
vibing, doing our thing.
Sunday's the day, though.
Sunday's my day.
Sunday morning at the Manchester Derby.
We've got Manchester United versus Manchester City.
It's going to be an absolute bloodbath.
Are you back in on Man U?
I never got out.
I just hate it.
You thought about it.
I just don't like them right now, dude.
Don't like them.
So, yeah, I'm going to wake up and enjoy that until I don't.
But some big news.
We've got the parents coming in.
Parents are flying into town.
They're bringing that cold front with them down from Michigan, baby.
Let's go to Star Bar with them.
No, I've already got requests.
I've already got requests in from my mom.
The second that flight lands, she wants to go straight to Mattel Ranch.
So that's where we're going.
Do I get a link with them at some point?
Maybe. Maybe. It's a quick ja Mattel Ranch. So that's where we're going. Do I get a link with them at some point? Maybe.
It's a quick jaunt for them.
So we'll see.
They have more important people to see, I understand, meeting their grandson.
They would like to meet my new son, and they would also like to enjoy some Halloween action.
They are not aware yet that Fritz absolutely hates his Halloween costume and refused to put any costume on. If any backers out there have experience with getting your toddler to put a Halloween costume on costume on you know where to find me i think you might have to just put one on as well i'm fine
with that i'm totally fine with that if i have to go get the lobster costume oh yeah yeah i should
have just bought that i should have just stolen if i knew they were going out of business yeah
you could have easily stolen yeah it would have been really easy yeah that's it tell your mom
to bring the ninja turtle costume down that's mean dude that's mean dude that's a lot a lot of strays
are getting reaching their targets right now you're a sick sob what's your freaking problem
dude what's your freaking problem but yeah i'm excited i haven't seen my parents uh since
summertime so it's gonna be a fun hang glad you get to see him yeah yeah yeah
that's all we got though okay i have been watching survivor though so i'm probably gonna sprinkle in
some survivor episodes shout out season 28 are you guys gonna join me no new challenge starts
tonight you guys gonna watch that just give it a chance if i had to watch one of those two is
definitely the challenge then watch the challenge tonight just try it out dude i got house of usher
i gotta get caught up well episode two player watch
out buddy in the club with my homies trying to yeah yeah it's only let it burn uh from a one to
ten she's a certified 20 i hate when people go outside of it if you do it to a scale.
It pisses me off when people are like, dude, I'll scale one to 10.
It's like a 12.
Dude, give 110%.
I actually want to know what it would be on a scale of one to 10.
That's valuable information.
That's something I can quantify very easily.
20 is unbelievable.
A 20?
She doubled I.
You're twice perfection.
I mean, I've seen plenty of pretty ladies.
I married one.
But come on, a 20.
Oh, that was sweet.
Clip that, send it to Alyssa.
She'll like that.
I'll clip that other thing you said earlier about the 3D modeling.
What?
What?
I didn't say shit, man.
How do I explain that to my wife?
You don't.
She's like, contacts?
Nope.
Mm-mm.
Nah.
Mm-mm. Nah. No, no. All right, we, context? Nope. Nah.
No?
No?
All right.
We should wrap her up.
No.
I'll stay here forever.
I'm about to pee myself. I want to stay here forever.
I'm going to straight up do the A-Town stomp.
I got to pee myself.
I don't have my nappy on.
Catch me stomping.
I don't want to leave this studio.
I'm in Goblin mode right now.
I just want to stay here and be a goblin.
I'm about to fill my nappy with fucking pee pee.
I'm just drinking my cold coffee that I didn't drink through the Amazon. Are you going to make a messy? I'm going to make a messy fill my nappy with fucking I'm just drinking my cold coffee that I didn't drink through the Amazon
are you gonna make a messy?
I'm gonna make a messy in my nappy
that's what Beckham said right before he signed Lionel
I'm gonna make a messy
that's sick dude
recap of the Beckham documentary coming straight to your ear holes
on retail therapy this week
no I'm gonna watch it
you're kind of behind the eight ball here Dave
I finished this like over a week ago my guy figure it out the first two
episodes of the goat episodes that the second two are really good but the first two are really
really good just put it out there how's victoria doing she's great man she's great i think she's
underrated i feel like she got i feel like she got a reputation as being mean because she kind
of looks mean she is rbf and like mean face
this this documentary made me be like you know what she'd be a good hank does it cover the uh
you know the cheating the nanny scan it does i don't know that what what happened he was
porking their nanny yeah and that's how he porked the nanny He did? Not Fran Drescher Different nanny
Who would have guessed that the girl
David
She was getting it from Bex?
Do you have a Fran Drescher?
Meh
How did the laugh sound?
Like that
Meh
I love your tattoos
I really do have to pee real bad, though.
That wasn't a joke.
Dude, Maxwell Sheffield was so frat.
I don't know who that is.
He was the male lead in The Nanny, dude.
Maxwell Sheffield.
Okay, hold on a second.
What did he do for a living?
Actually, I need to know what he did for a living.
Dylan, if you want to go to the bathroom,
you can just say goodbye.
I bet he was like a film critic. I kind of want to know what he did for a living dylan if you want to go to the bathroom you can just say goodbye i bet he was like a film critic i kind of want to know now no i don't know what
he was man well we can't end the show until we figure no we can't we have to figure it out now
what did max field maxwell sheffield what did maxwell he was a broadway theatrical producer okay his main
rival was andrew lloyd weber which is kind of hilarious that rocks yeah good for him good for
him okay i'm glad we hashed that out dave he turned down producing cats famously that's a
good bit yeah that's smart that's smart writing from the people back in the 90s. All right. It's been real, Dave. Bye.