Circling Back - Zombie Apocalypse & Mini Horse Service Animal

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

Zeke got absolutely paid and Dave has mixed feeling, which celebrities we'd ride with into a zombie apocalypse, and the woman who brought a mini horse on a flight as her service animal. We also break ...down This Weekend In Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (1:34) Worst Fantasy Football Punishments (15:40) Zeke Got PAID (31:53) Viral Celebrity Zombie Apocolypse Tweet (41:26) Mini Horse Service Animal (50:42) Impromptu Steam Room (57:52) This Weekend In Fun Shop Circling Back Merchandise: www.washedmedia.com/shop Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) Dashlane: www.dashlane.com/circling (Free Trial) Indochino: www.indochino.com (STEAM at checkout for $369 suit) Postmates: Download the app and use CIRCLING for $100 of delivery credits. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 all right we're back circling back podcast live from the early bird cg studio in austin texas my name is will defries to my right dave ruff it's podcast time in america is it it's time i just checked my watch. It's time to podcast. Hope you guys are prepared. Dude, these podcasts are really doing well for people. I hope you guys aren't just popping up everywhere.
Starting point is 00:00:32 I hope you guys aren't getting interrupted by 401k emails that you're trying to set up for your company. Don't open that. Don't open that. That's stupid.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Actually, let's run through our finances right now. God, what a fucking pain in the ass. Yeah. Beautiful day. Happy to be a fucking pain in the ass. Yeah. Beautiful day. Happy to be here. Just recorded the mail-in.
Starting point is 00:00:49 I feel like I'm just transitioning perfectly into this. Couldn't be going better. Three pods for us today, Dave. Tripod is what they say. Oh, man. Wow. No one's talking about that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Wow. I'm actually kind of doing a tripod today, too. Really? It's exciting stuff. Yeah. Three guys, three pods, pods one day it's never been done before no never like literally never it's never been done it's so tight i did 18 at grand x once 18 in one day yeah how'd you time to do anything else i didn't you just set
Starting point is 00:01:17 for a microphone from the time you just it was like whack-a-mole which ones did you do uh just like all the ones that they had to offer. And then some. Yeah. It just seems like a lot. They had, like, a bunch on Grandix Labs that nobody knew about. Wow. Okay. Oh, Dylan, what's up, dude?
Starting point is 00:01:37 Hey, guys. Good to see you, dude. So I went dress shopping yesterday. Yeah. For your fantasy draft. Yeah, yeah. I had to buy a dress. I have to wear a dress Friday.
Starting point is 00:01:45 And, yeah, I bought two options. Okay. What are they? The dress, like the sizes for women's apparel, it's like there are numbers. And then they do like the small to large thing. It's weird. Yeah, but you know that like it's not men's small or like men's large. No, I get it.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Yeah. It turns out it's difficult to find a dress that fits me. What women's size are you? I don't know. I bought the biggest one I could find, which is... I didn't look for a long time. I think in European women's, you're like a 46. Turns out it's pretty embarrassing to buy a dress in a public setting, too.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Not just wear one. I was legit looking at dresses. I would have bought one on Amazon if i were you uh i got a medium and it's uh unsurprisingly a little tight on me so that was the biggest you could find like i said with your pecs i didn't go you do have slender little hips i didn't dig i didn't dig in there but it it i can put it over my body it's just a little snug yeah because what you want is like a super tight-fitting dress for this occasion.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Explain to the folks at home why you're wearing a dress. Oh, I finished last place at fantasy football last year, and my punishment is to wear a dress all day on Friday in line at Franklin's Barbecue. So the plan is to drop the homie off at school at about seven 30 in the morning and head straight to Franklin's and get in line. So you're going to wear a dress to drop the homie off at school. I'm going to,
Starting point is 00:03:13 no, no, I'm going to bring it in my car. I will change in the car. I'm not doing that to him. They might take parks away. Like, Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:03:20 What's the eighth day of school ever. And he just like has his dad drop him off in a dress. That's hard to recover from. Yeah, Parks is dead. I don't know about that guy. You should have gotten a throwback jersey skirt, like an old Washington Bullets one. Remember when those were a thing in 2004?
Starting point is 00:03:35 No, I don't. I thought you should just get a cheerleading skirt or something. It's got to be a dress, man. Why? Because that was the bet. I would have made you do a cheerleader's uniform. I don't know what's worse i mean it doesn't matter it's gonna be miserable they've got jersey dresses so you could have you could have been sports guy damn why didn't i do that you guys have a punishment it's not too late what's the punishment this year we haven't decided
Starting point is 00:04:02 yet we we all propose at the draft and then vote on it. Do you have a proposal? Ours is trash. I don't have one. You should get tips from the listeners out there. Dave had a good one. What? We have two options.
Starting point is 00:04:18 In your league this year? Yeah, and there's not a payout. It sucks. So we always do a golf trip. It's not unique to us or anything. But one is you have to caddy for the winter for 18 holes. Okay. Which, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:32 It sounds fun, but like we do it in Texas. It's going to be hot. You're going to be hung over and it's going to be miserable. And you're just going to get berated. Yeah. Can you choose your day? Can it be anytime? No, like caddy form like at the next year's golf alley. Oh, that's brutal. So like all the guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you can't play. You'd, like caddy form, like at the next year's golf out.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Oh, that's brutal. So like all the guys, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't play. You'd have to caddy and stuff. Yeah. That sucks. Or you have to do, I think I talked about this. You have to do a shirtless mirror selfie as your Facebook Odo for a week,
Starting point is 00:05:00 and you can't say why you're doing it. That's not good. That one is extreme. So a lot of people wanted to do Instagram. And I think I made it worse on myself if I, you know, if it happens that I come in last, because I think Instagram would be less worse than Facebook because Facebook, my opinion, you have a lot of fringe friends,
Starting point is 00:05:19 a lot of family members you don't really talk to, don't really know you. So they may not be as in on the joke. They'll be like, oh, there's Cousin Dave shirtless mirror selfie for some reason. There are ways. Instagram, I feel like more people do bits, and people who are following, people know us. There's a way, I shouldn't say this,
Starting point is 00:05:40 there's a way on Facebook where you can minimize how many people see, like an update to your profile. Yeah. So you might fly under the the radar i would just unfriend everybody that being said if the people in your league are smart the first thing they should do when someone changes it is comment and be like looking great bud like oh yeah sick bot because then then that will kick in the algorithm that'll shoot it like higher up you have to do immediate interaction you can share it too yeah oh yeah you should probably be sharing it. Look at this dumbass. That's
Starting point is 00:06:08 extreme. You had some extreme ones in the past, right? Our league is getting more extreme every year and it's getting out of control. We need to tame it down. Last year, a dude who lost had to mow everyone's lawn in the league in one weekend. We ended up granting
Starting point is 00:06:23 him more time because one weekend is We ended up granting him more time because one weekend is a lot. But that sucks, man. What did he do for you since you don't have a lot? For me, it was wash my car. But I felt so bad for him. I was like, dude, you don't have to do it.
Starting point is 00:06:36 I gave him a pass. You should have made him come here and actually physically show up in Austin and then just go out to lunch or a beer with him or something instead. That's like the cool act when you show up to get a cig in your book and like he's just like dude just hang out have a beer I can make you clean my apartment yeah uh he did he does live in Austin
Starting point is 00:06:54 but a couple of our guys lived in Houston or live in Houston so I don't know I don't know how he settled that we never did punishments but it was had, we were spread so far all over the place that we didn't even like, it wasn't, we had no camaraderie in that league. It was not like a fun thing to be a part of.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Yeah. Good times. I feel like it's, this is all like the generation who grew up watching like CKY and Jackass. Like,
Starting point is 00:07:21 they're finally, this is like, it's showing its head now. Like, it's rearing its head like, in these punishments. It's just, it's showing its head now. Like it's rearing its head, like in these punishments, it's just, it's demoralizing and humiliating.
Starting point is 00:07:29 I, I kind of like, honestly, the only part of like fantasy that I want to be a part of now is just the punishments. God, I'm so dreading Friday, man.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Yeah, that sucks, man. I mean, dude, here's the thing. Like this dude, I don't know if you've heard of him.
Starting point is 00:07:43 His name's Brett. He's going to be in town. He and I are definitely showing up at like 8am.m day are you out of town dave are you still here i'm doing uh spoiler alert i'm doing the uh oh yeah entourage podcast at 10 i believe hell yeah so we'll see okay okay okay i mean i'm showing off just know that no I would appreciate that it would make me feel you know less alone we're gonna make fun of you no
Starting point is 00:08:09 what else would you do I mean I'm in a fucking dress I expect that what if we showed up in dresses and we were just like the ultimate comrades then y'all would be my heroes band of brothers dude
Starting point is 00:08:18 you'll be my hero I do get to eat franklins though that'll be tight dude will you just give me like a little tiny piece like I've never had it before get me a burnt end or something dog
Starting point is 00:08:27 oh my god you're so annoying so you said some of the people live in Houston so who are you getting this food for well they're all gonna be here
Starting point is 00:08:34 oh so they're all gonna be in town for the LSU game and for the draft oh that's right unheard of but we're doing a draft after the NFL season actually starts
Starting point is 00:08:42 it's not unheard of but most of the time when I hear people doing that, I'm like, you're just an idiot. So they're all going to be in town for the draft and then for the LSU Texas game. We're going big. It's going to be a big weekend. What is it Thursday? We have to take a weekend in fun.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Packers-Bears? I don't know who plays Thursday. Packers-Bears. I don't even know how we're going to handle the points that were scored the day before. Yeah, I'm interested to have that. Like if I draft Aaron Rodgers, can I pick up the 28 points he scored the night before? No.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Those are done. Yeah, I don't know, man. Anyway, I'm sure there'll be pictures that surface on the internet. You're going to be on like the Austin subreddit. Well, it's 2019, man. There are men who wear dresses. You're going to be on the Austin subreddit. I'm going to put you on it. It's 2019, man. There are men who wear dresses normally. And so it's not that big of a deal.
Starting point is 00:09:34 It's not, you know. Are you going to shave your legs? No. Why, dude? I might wear my bucket hat. Take some pride. It's going to Cottenino. I don't think you can do that.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Yeah, there should be some stipulations. There's no rule against it. You shouldn't be able to wear your bucket hat. Take some pride. It's going incognito. I don't think you can do that. Yeah, there should be some stipulations. There's no rule against it. You shouldn't be able to wear your bucket hat. There should be. You should be able to wear a hat, but you shouldn't be able to wear your bucket hat. I'm going to bring my master's fold-up chair, my master's lawn chair.
Starting point is 00:09:55 I got it at the master's. Everyone brings lawn chairs, you know? Yeah. I was there. To be fair, I think that the guys who will be waiting in line around you, they'll know something's up. Here's my plan.
Starting point is 00:10:06 They're not going to be talking behind your back. Can you fake? I'm going to walk up. I'm going to say, just so everybody knows, I'm going to announce it. This is for a fantasy football punishment. I don't normally dress like this. Dude, they're going to think you're such a douche bro. Like douche bro, like one word.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Douche bro. Oh, yeah. The fantasy football thing. Be like, oh, look at this. Oh, it's Jock wearing a dress. Oh, cool yeah it's played out but it that makes it better though like look at this chat over here it's not like you're wearing a shirt that has like um like a a naked lady on or something like offensive thing yeah this is just like this is like something they would do in like uh, in the eighties or something. Yeah. Like you would make your pledges to.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Yeah. It's like, I feel like I'm, I'm, I'm a pledge. I'm getting hazed. Yeah. Like public humiliation.
Starting point is 00:10:50 You kind of are. I kind of am. Yeah, man. Well now that's a great segue. Let's break down your current fantasy team. Well, I got Pat Mahomes.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Can I say, I'll say this about finishing last place. If my only task going into the year Is to not finish last place I think I could accomplish that most years There's always one guy who just kind of Abandons his team early in the season And just falls to the bottom
Starting point is 00:11:15 Do you guys not have that in your league? We do You do that in our league I feel like that guy's played that card Twice in the last three years So it's not likely to happen again. So it's going to, it's,
Starting point is 00:11:27 it's due to be somebody different in our league. It's just like, I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm not worried. Cause I generally have a good team. Like I've never won the league,
Starting point is 00:11:38 but I usually make, I'm like the chargers. I'll make a playoff run. Like people think I'm due, but I just, it just never happens for me. Yeah. Um, but I'm, I'm a little worried. The the philip rivers of this podcast one one one bad trade one me getting uh going gm crazy and one injury man one injury getting on my bill o'brien
Starting point is 00:11:55 bullshit one of your horses gets injured man it's it's tough you're giving up you know 15 points every every matchup but we're gonna to break down each of our fantasy leagues. Each separate one. Every podcast. Every Wednesday. But because I'm not doing an NFL one, I'll break down my Premier League one. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Yeah. Yeah. No. Dude, Sterling. He's having a hell of a year for me. It's great. Primer. What?
Starting point is 00:12:21 He's saying Primer League. Premier. Primer. Let's talk Primer League. Premier. Primer. Let's talk about Dashlane. Okay. You know, passwords are a real thorn in my side. Yeah. Can you agree with that?
Starting point is 00:12:36 I'm sick of passwords. I don't know my password for this credit card I have, so I have to call in every single damn month. That's true. And talk to someone on the phone and process my payment that way. I would rather do that than reset it, honestly. Yeah, but like I asked her, I'm like, hey, can you reset my password?
Starting point is 00:12:52 She's like, no, in order to do that, we gotta send you over to the blah blah blah department. No, this is not worth it. I'm not talking to some tech nerd so I can change my password. That's not happening. This is why you gotta get Dashlane. The thing about Dashlane, though, is it's not just a password management app. It's the Ferrari of password managers. None of that broke boy stuff.
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Starting point is 00:13:35 a free 30-day trial of Dashlane Premium. To redeem, go to dashlane.com slash circling. If you have more than one password, Dashlane's a no-brainer. Go to dashlane.com and start your. If you have more than one password, Dashlane's a no-brainer. Go to dashlane.com and start your free 30-day trial today. Fix your password problem once and for all and support our show at dashlane.com slash circling.
Starting point is 00:13:54 How could you not have more than one password in 2019? I have like four that I just rotate. I do too. And then there's one wild card. Mine are all variations of the same password, which is that's good that's what you want but like you can never figure it out though i bet when you like no now you have dash lane so you can you can yeah well yeah i bet when you enter yours and like it it's like telling you your password strength it just says weak as fuck yeah weak it's like random capitalization and shit that no one could ever guess.
Starting point is 00:14:26 It's tight. So I did one yesterday, work-related, through a government entity that we have to be registered with. And it's such trash. They don't let you do consecutive symbols. It can only be eight characters,
Starting point is 00:14:40 and it has to have... It was so specific, so none of my go-tos, it has to be eight characters. Exactly. Yeah. And I was in like, I'm in my head, like thinking I'm like,
Starting point is 00:14:49 yeah, none of mine work. So I had to get, I had to do some like brand new one, which my life, I don't like creating new passwords. No, I've got my,
Starting point is 00:14:57 I've got my rotation for you, David. I know this is, this is, this is post read, but it's still relevant. You know, I wish we could live in a society where we didn't need passwords.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Dude, my new Lappy has like the, I can just put my finger on the corner of it and it wakes up. Oh, damn, dude. It must be nice. Yeah. It's fucking lit. Technically, that's our Lappy. That's true. That's true.
Starting point is 00:15:15 The new community Lappy that I got. Yeah, it's got the finger. But you get to use it. It's crazy. Is that gunmetal? It's something. It's dope looking. It's murdered out, dog.
Starting point is 00:15:24 It's a mean looking laptop. I'll be honest. I didn't think it would be that big of an upgrade. It's that big of an upgrade. You love it. Yeah. Good for you, man. It's quick.
Starting point is 00:15:33 I mean, we're already seeing dividends. It's really special stuff. Yeah, we were just acquired as soon as you got that. Yeah, it's tight. Do you know who else can afford a new laptop? Zeke Elliott. Yeah, he could probably buy several of those. How do you guys feel about this?
Starting point is 00:15:49 Six years, 90 mil. I don't know. 50 million guaranteed. The longevity of it doesn't really bother me so much. I mean, the salary cap situation, I don't know. Can we spread the love out? I don't know. Dave?
Starting point is 00:16:03 Yeah, this is the first thing i saw when i popped up in twitter in bed this morning and i was like oh i saw i saw what was trending and i knew and i i knew it wasn't going to be a team-friendly deal and you would ask me like four months ago i would be like dude you got to pay zeke but i've come around to the idea that the running back is a devalued position it's not as important in the modern NFL and that you could put somebody replacement level like who we got I don't we don't know if he's gonna be replacing level or not but Tony Pollard you could put somebody in there and you you keep you want your running back to be on a rookie deal you don't pay them the big money especially when you're the Cowboys and you have all these other people you
Starting point is 00:16:44 have to pay so I've kind of I knew that're the Cowboys and you have all these other people you have to pay. So I've kind of, I knew that wasn't going to happen and maybe I was just setting myself up for that. But like, I don't like, it's not great business. If they don't win, if they don't win a Super Bowl
Starting point is 00:16:55 in the next three years, then it's not going to look good. No. I mean, that's it. That makes everything go away if they win a Super Bowl. When the Lions signed Stafford to the biggest deal ever,
Starting point is 00:17:04 like even Stafford, who I love, I was like, I don't really want this. But that's. It's a quarterback. And I think that there's more of a case. But even then, it was just like, this is so much money. It's not the, like he's not, is he the paid most right now? He's not the most. No, no, not anymore.
Starting point is 00:17:17 So it's just, it like resets. And like the thing is, the Cowboys said that they weren't going to be market setters. And then they're market setters. Yeah. They're like, okay. Yeah, he won. And also like, you know, he's going to do something shitty in the next few years. And then they're market setters. Yeah. He's like, okay. Yeah, he won. And also, you know he's going to do something shitty in the next few years. And I don't know what kind of incentives are in there.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Yeah, he will. You got to think like with- You think it's going to have a charge come down on him? He's just kind of a scumbag. Yeah, I know. I don't like him. He pulled that chick's top off at that pool party. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:17:40 It wasn't even a pool party. It was at a parade. Parade. The St. Paddy's Parade. Like in front of tens of thousands of people in Dallas. You can't do that, dog, no. It wasn't even a pool party. It was at a parade. Parade. The St. Paddy's Parade. Like in front of tens of thousands of people in Dallas. You just can't do that, dog. Yeah. I forgot that he did that.
Starting point is 00:17:50 You just can't. He's kind of a scumbag. A security guard thing where he was clearly on something. Everybody's saying he was rolling. He was on Molly or something. And he bumped into that guy at the EDM Festival, that security guard. That guy exaggerated it. It's bullshit.
Starting point is 00:18:05 But he's still extremely fucked up in public. Don't do that. You don't ever see Dak doing that shit. Sometimes you got to do Molly in public, though. I've been trying, man. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, man. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:18:19 I'm on record as saying they're going to win the NFC this year. It's going to be good, man. It would be good, wouldn't it? No, they're going to be good. Oh, they're going to win the NFC this year. It's going to be good, man. It would be good, wouldn't it? No, they're going to be good. Oh, they're going to be good. Their roster's sick, man. No, I think that's why they did this. If they're going to have any chance of making a run,
Starting point is 00:18:35 they have to do it now. They got to do it right now. It's like, we got to get this guy on the team. I mean, he is a difference maker. He's fucking good. I know, but I want an offense that slings the ball around a little bit more, puts up points. You a sling boy?
Starting point is 00:18:48 I'm a sling boy. I don't know. That defense is low-key nasty. Is it weird going into NFL season with expectations? Huh? Is it weird going in with expectations? Irrational ones, maybe. Which is what most Cowboys fans are.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Kosh's optimism is what I would call it. The year that we went 0-16, I looked at our schedule beforehand, and I maybe, which is what most Cowboys fans have. Cautious optimism is what I would call it. The year that we went 0-16, I looked at our schedule beforehand, and I said, you know what? I think we're starting 10-0. Turns out we didn't do that. We did the opposite. I think I feel as good about the Cowboys as I do the Longhorns right now. So not like the best, but you feel good.
Starting point is 00:19:21 I don't think either one is going to win a title, but they're going to make noise and like, hey, maybe they can make a run here situation, both teams. Didn't realize that they only have two healthy running backs, maybe one going into LSU. Well, the second healthy one was a quarterback like two weeks ago. He switched positions out of like emergency. Not good.
Starting point is 00:19:44 We're talking about Texas right now. It's tough. Not the Cowboys. Not good. We're talking about Texas right now. It's tough. Not the Cowboys. Not good, Dave. Wait, so that's like four dudes injured? Five. Five? That doesn't happen.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Dude, why are there so many hernia injuries on this team right now? I fear the sports hernia. I fear the sports hernia. I don't know what it is, but it seems like it's very common and it doesn't just happen to high-level athletes. Every time I feel feel like a strain in my midsection i'm like oh there it is i gotta get a surgery now i'm gonna have to get it again i can feel it it's weird before i got the surgery
Starting point is 00:20:17 before i got the surgery i could flex my stomach like my i could whatever to my abdomen and you could see the muscle pop out of like like on my lower stomach i don't want that it's like a stomach hemorrhoid yeah yep that's exactly what it is i recovered faster than all these athletes did though like i was pretty good you lived in the cryo chamber yeah i remember like these guys are like six weeks like come on it was the extreme inactivity that really put you back on track yeah Yeah, these guys are trying to do too much. They got to sit back. You're just laying on your couch and watch primarily.
Starting point is 00:20:47 What exactly is bulging? It's a disc. You have a disc that's up that way? I guess. Well, to be fair, I said lower stomach, so I don't want to be grotesque. It's very close to your man junk. Yeah, isn't it down? Yeah, it's right below the belt line, basically.
Starting point is 00:21:03 I had the mesh surgery where they put a mesh over my muscle tissue isn't there like you could feel the mesh like you for the longest time you could just feel it is it still there i think so but i think it might have like i think it might have like disintegrated or something okay i honestly don honestly don't. I should know this. But that being said, this was now 13 years ago that I got the surgery. Did that affect your gut bacteria? I think my gut biome was fine.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Dave. Those were during my party days. A hernia occurs when an organ or fatty tissue squeezes through a weak spot in a surrounding muscle or connective tissue called the fascia.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Most common types of hernias are, I can't say that word. Fascia is important. That's the shit when you're getting a massage. Try to say the word, Dylan. Say the word. Inguinal, which is the- Inguinal. Inguinal.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Inguinal. Inguinal? I think it's inguinal. That's what I had, and I think that's how it's said. Incisional, femoral, umbilical. I'm going to stop saying all these words. It doesn't matter. Dude, you're crushing it.
Starting point is 00:22:07 I think I'm doing all right. Man, that's a lot different than I thought. It's like, yeah, no. Like, your, like, intestine will, like, go through the muscle. Yeah. Yeah. That's why, like, some people have it burst. It's not ideal.
Starting point is 00:22:20 It's hereditary, too. My dad's had a couple. And so, like, there's no doubt if I'm like tired I can feel like a little bit of pain there my hernia is starting to hurt man I gotta stop reading this talking about it makes you think that's why I don't do like heavy squats
Starting point is 00:22:37 at the gym now is that how you do it? that's why I had to stop it's like over exerting you can do it by lifting up a box too quickly. Actually, that was a diagram. The page I just pulled up. Dude lifting a box.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Dude lifting a box. I think that's how a lot of it happens because people aren't... You're not like thinking about your form. You're not warmed up. You just go pick up a box in the garage. You're just going in cold and your fucking dick's popping out.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Fucking got a double thing it's your dick man it's pretty much your dick it's close enough to where it might be too let's not get hernias man i mine i got mine because i i went i danced a little too hard at a sorority formal you fucking kidding me and i woke up the next morning and i was in excruciating pain and so i i had to i was taking a workout class and I had to get out of the workout class, like a graded workout class. I had to write a paper on the effects of hernias instead of workout.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Hope you learned something. I mean, hey, I played to my strengths, writing instead of working out. That's why you don't want to lift with us. You're scared of the hernia. To be honest, I kind of am scared of the hernia because I can feel it when I overexert myself sometimes. It's a little, it is something that's in the back of my mind.
Starting point is 00:23:49 But that's not the reason. Like, me using that as an excuse, that's not actually it. Like, I'm just lazy. Fucking Marc Mechier over here. I also look fucking dope, too, right now. Like, I'm hot as fuck. Yeah, that's true. You look great, man.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Why would you work out? Very handsome. Was Zeke working out in Cabo this entire time, or what? Ha, that's the, that's what they say, man. Why would you work out? Very handsome. Was Zeke working out in Cabo this entire time or what? That's what they say, man. Why was he there? I know when I go to Cabo, I definitely just lift all day and train. If you're looking for productivity, Cabo's your spot. His agent has a house there.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Shout out to him. He got paid. He probably has another one now, too. Is he just running on the beach and shit? Yeah, he just upgraded his Cabo house. I guess, man. But the thing is, he didn't do, like, the Dez. He didn't do, like, any hype videos.
Starting point is 00:24:32 You know, normally you go on the Gram and you show everybody you're grinding, getting that work in, but, no, it never happened. It's almost like maybe he wasn't even doing it, you know? Makes you think. He's just going to—what if he just comes back i got he was at the head camera cruise at the airport when he got back yesterday what if what if he's just miserably out of shape like like remember like a legit fat zeke everybody thought he was like fat last year or two years ago but he's just one of those dudes who has like the abs that i think they're just so muscular that
Starting point is 00:25:03 they just bulge out yeah like it does does put out a fat vibe on him. You could see how it could go south real quick. Yes. But. Oh, he's going to balloon when he's retired, I think. Who's that big running back for the Aggies? Back like. Oh, Javorski Lane?
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah. That guy's so fat. Dude, he was carrying the rocket like two 90 for a and M dude. I can see Zeke just getting fat as hell. A lot of these guys do a lot of running backs that are just these like stout, like muscular, like balls of muscle.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Like they just get fat. Zeke is definitely in the category of like someone who will, when he retires. Oh yeah. It'll be a big boy. Well, that was our sports session. That was fun. I feel like you didn't have fun, Dave.
Starting point is 00:25:53 No, I do. I feel like this is weighing on you heavily. It's not. It's just like, Dave, it could be a big year, man. No, and I think it's going to be. Big contracts. I just got done laughing at the texans for whatever the fuck they're doing and and now it's like part of me thought that maybe we had turned a corner and
Starting point is 00:26:12 we weren't going to be the team that just dishes out the giant contract but you know whatever that's fine who cares let's fucking go we done, man. I'm just trying to think of, like, the worst contracts in my life. And there's just so many times when I'm like, oh, fuck. You mean from your teams? Yeah. Like, this one is off the radar, but, like, Johan Franzen playing for the Red Wings, he signed a massive contract, immediately, like, immediately became irrelevant. Like, it was just terrible.
Starting point is 00:26:44 And it was like okay cool at least we have you he i don't even think he plays anymore and we have him through next year like we're still paying him through next year when guys in uh like the english soccer premier league all that get paid because they get paid paid like it's big yeah yeah do they does anyone ever live up to it like yeah really yeah well it's also weird too because that's big money it's weird too and it takes a little bit to start like thinking of it in these terms because we're so used to the terms of contracts these days when you hear a number these days that number is going directly to the player you know yeah so like you hear zeke six years 90 mil when you hear numbers
Starting point is 00:27:21 in soccer you hear the numbers of what the teams are exchanging. You're not hearing the players' wages. You're just hearing the fee that those teams are paying in order to acquire that player. So then on top of that, you have to pay them their wage. So to put this in, like, for example, Manchester United wanted to sign a defender this year. Instead of signing De Ligt, who is this really good player from,
Starting point is 00:27:46 young player from the Netherlands, they signed another guy, and I think the reason that they didn't pursue the other guy harder was one, he didn't want to go there, and two, his weekly wages were going to be way higher than the guy that they actually got, Harry Maguire. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 00:28:02 There's a guy named Harry Maguire? Yeah, he's the most British. They call him Slabhead. Show me the money! He's the most, like, British-looking dude I've ever seen. It's like Jerry's scumbag brother. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Well, here's Harry. That's so stupid. Some soccer hardos are going to come out of the woodwork and be like we'll fucking botch that oh god we'll watch that well did you i don't think i did i don't think i did i think that's my assessment of it uh if i'm incorrect uh you're welcome to tell me but like people people that talk shit to me whenever they talk shit to me about soccer i like do a little investigating on them and almost every single time they, they're like a Barcelona fan or something,
Starting point is 00:28:45 which just means that they're messy fanboys. What team? Barcelona. Oh, okay. With the... I don't even know what you'd fucking call it. Should we talk about friends over at Indochino real quick? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:02 You got to look good to play good, guys. Well, yeah. Like, everyone knows that. These guys have made-to-measure suits. Dylan, you've even done it. I did, man. You have a custom shirt
Starting point is 00:29:13 from here, and it looks fresh as hell. I did, and I got the little initials embroidered on the cuff there. Nice and subtle. The same color as the shirt. That's a Dylan move.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Super dope. What if we told you that it wasn't the same color and you're just that colorblind? Then super dope what if we told you that like it wasn't the same color and you're just that colorblind and i would have to believe you because i don't know i don't see anything the other day at a restaurant i'd looked at dylan and i was like dude or i think we were at a restaurant and i made some comment about how bright pink something was and you're like are you fucking serious dude i'm still shook over the shoe situation i got i got those shoes i thought were tan they end up being like blush or pink or whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Really upsetting. It's okay, Dylan. The people at Indochino can set you up with anything. I know, man. They're the world's most exciting made-to-measure menswear company. They make suits and shirts to your exact measurements for an unparalleled fit and comfort. Whether you're looking to get married, just get a fit off at a wedding, whatever. You can even fit your wedding party in this stuff.
Starting point is 00:30:04 That's how good the deal is. In the Boardroom to the discotheca. Yes, if you're trying to go to the discotheca, go to Indochino first. Guys love a wide selection of high quality fabrics and colors to choose from. Dylan might need some help choosing from those. Not to mention the option to personalize details, like Dylan said, your lapel, lining, pockets, buttons, your own monogram. You visit a stylist in their showroom. They have over 40 showrooms in North America, and they take your measurements personally, or you can even measure yourself at home and shop online at Indochino.com.
Starting point is 00:30:33 You choose your fabric inside and out, choose your design, submit your measurements with your choices, and then you just chill while it gets professionally tailored and mailed to you in a couple weeks. You won't have a screaming deal. Are you guys aware of this? Of course I'm aware of it. Absolutely screaming. This week, our listeners can get any premium Indochino
Starting point is 00:30:50 suit for just $369 at Indochino.com when entering Steam at checkout. That's S-T-E-A-M. Additionally, shipping is free. Huge. That's Indochino.com, promo code STEAM for any premium suit for just $369 in free shipping. Incredible deal for a premium suit for just $369 and free shipping.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Incredible deal for a premium made to measure suit. Once you go custom, you're not going back. Um, Indochino is like the number one most requested in my DMS promo code from guys who don't want to go back and like, look at it, don't look it up for people.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Always Indochino for people out there wondering about our promo codes, they are in every single description of every single episode we've ever done. And of course me, I'm always like, dude, I don't remember. I'd go try to look it up. We have too many promo codes these days. You've got to hit your boy up. I got them all on one nice organized document. Oh, you're going to regret saying that.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Yep, hit Dylan up next time you have a question. Dylan at washmedia.com Oh, that's ruthless. At D Chivrymedia.com. Oh, that's ruthless. At DShivery on Instagram and Twitter. Oh, that's a good call. That's a good spin. Thank you. Let's talk about this new Twitter thing that's going on.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Celebrity zombie apocalypse. Yeah. The last four celebrities in your camera roll. It's your team against a zombie apocalypse. Are you surviving? This is from, oh, everybody knows, Juliana at Cabello X Harmo. So check her out if you're not already following her.
Starting point is 00:32:17 So she's a Camilla Cabello stan, right? Is that what that is? It's got to be, right? Her first photo in her tweet that went off is camilla cabella oh then that makes sense yeah um so yeah this got some traction and it spawned some debate will you famously tweeted something about why do people have celebrities in their camera roll okay let me explain my reasoning for thinking this and i've kind of gone back on it a little bit i do think it's like from her tweet
Starting point is 00:32:45 that everyone's quote tweeting, the photos that she has saved on her camera roll aren't photos that are like funny memes that you want to save for later. They're just like these are celebrity photos.
Starting point is 00:32:54 These look like Getty images. Yeah, like these are just straight up. Who is the second one in this photo? The first one's Camila Cabello. And I don't know who the second one is. I don't know, but I one is i don't know but
Starting point is 00:33:05 i'm imagining that's what dylan's gonna be wearing to the uh yeah barbecue joint but i do think it's like a little crazy for people to just to have like like professionally taken photos like we don't need a maxim shoot of camilla cabello saved into my phone right now yeah that's fair that that makes a little bit more sense. Dan had my favorite response. He said, what, you're not in a group text? Which I'm like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:33:29 that's actually 90% of the photos in my camera roll are for group text purposes. I just don't think I submit a lot of the photos of celebrities in my group text. No, I probably submit more than most. Yeah, but you're also a content guy.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I just scroll through through my camera. I don't have a single picture of a celebrity in it. Not one. What? Yeah. How is that possible? I went through and did it because I was like, all right, I'm going to actually give this an honest try.
Starting point is 00:33:57 The first four celebrities I had were Katie Holmes, Shia LaBeouf, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Anthony Bourdain. And if the zombie apocalypse comes and I'm arm and arm with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Katie Holmes with Shia LaBeouf, just like he's going to do that Naruto run or whatever people are doing when they see them aliens. He's all in. You run super fast. I mean, to be fair, if I'm going to have one person on my team,
Starting point is 00:34:23 Shia LaBeouf's not the worst option. He's a psycho. Remember when he got arrested in Austin? Yeah. Yeah. He did an interesting interview. He's in the weirdest fucking headspace of any celebrity I've ever seen. Bieber might be giving him a run for his money right now.
Starting point is 00:34:36 But Shia's got some, he's like, he's like tormented or something. He's losing it, man. I don't think he's losing it, though. I think he's just like, he's over the fame and now he just wants to like be creative and like hang out with people. He just teaches like acting classes
Starting point is 00:34:51 and like struggling neighborhoods and stuff. It's kind of cool. He's crazy, though. He's crazy. Yes. He's loco. So I feel like mine
Starting point is 00:34:59 couldn't have worked out better. Who was yours? Tiger. OJ. McConaughey. Brooks Koepka. Nude Brooks Koepka. out better who was yours tiger oj mcconaughey brooks kepka nude brooks kepka fully nude yeah yeah yours makes total sense that is an alpha team so for my for purposes of this hypothetical whatever they're wearing in the photo is what they have to be wearing so i'm gonna just have nude brooks kepka at all times in my squad i'll squad. I'll let him put on a loincloth, but I just want to be true to this. Yeah, I have a double murderer.
Starting point is 00:35:31 I have the greatest golfer of all time. I've got a dude just pushing Lincolns, and I got Brooks, man. The baby goat. Everybody's calling him baby goat now. What? No one's calling him that. Not yet. I don't like baby goat. Everybody's calling him baby goat now. What? No one's calling him that. Not yet. I don't like baby goat. How do you not...
Starting point is 00:35:53 Can I take Bourdain out and use someone else? Nah. He's not really here. He can negotiate with the zombies. Okay. Maybe. Now I need to figure out who... It because it bums me out that like i i don't know like i have i have spun i had that spongebob meme where he says uh i'm a head out yeah it's not a celebrity that's the closest thing you can have if you want i guess all right i'm a head out that's this shit's so funny to me dude my camera roll a lot of it is for memeing purposes,
Starting point is 00:36:25 but my camera roll is pretty much just dog photos and celebrities. Mine's just a million pictures of parks. And accidental screenshots. Yeah, mine's all dog photos and photos of my coffee table. Like, I don't really have a good beat on this. So if I got rid of Anthony Bourdain in mind, the next celebrity that I would be able to have in my squad, see,
Starting point is 00:36:51 I, I'm like Dylan. Like, I don't, I don't have much. I do have a photo of Steve jobs. Good. We're killing it over here.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Oh, that's you know, he might have some ingenuity. He might, if he might still be around with like his, did they freeze his head? I do have this photo of the guy that Micah fought in an exhibition.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Sean. Sean Onnit. Sean B. Onnit is his Instagram handle. I screenshotted him because he was in a very provocative pose and I sent it to Micah.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Well, yeah. Twitter's fun. You saw Tiger at the US Open, right? Yeah, he's killing it. Holy shit. Why is his sun tight? Why does his sun kind of look like Parks?
Starting point is 00:37:32 People were pointing that out. Really? A little bit. Actually, not that much. I think at first glance. He's in good company then, man. Cat was wearing a quarter zip with no shirt under it. So I had a buddy who used to do that all the time.
Starting point is 00:37:48 That's a brunch move. He was, my buddy who did it was pretty jacked. It's a good, it's a Rory move. It's a jacked guy move. I tried doing it a few times. It feels really good, but if you're not jacked, you don't look good doing it. It makes you just look like you don't care. If you just have some chest hairs
Starting point is 00:38:05 kind of popping out of the zipper. Yeah, it didn't work for me. And so, yeah. I kind of like the move for him, though. It's hot there. Yeah. These guys are dripping in sweat. Wearing a quarter zip in that,
Starting point is 00:38:20 it just seems irresponsible. It might get chilly at night. I didn't realize he was such a big Nadal guy. I knew him and Federer were boys. Well, he and Federer used to have a thing where they'd text back and forth, and they only texted when they would win a major, which is a flex. That's a big flex. But, yeah, so now that Fed's out, which I stayed up and watched that match.
Starting point is 00:38:40 That was a bummer. He got fucking hurt. I turned it off right before he got hurt. So, yeah, it is what it is. I'm pulling for Nadal because that other dude, that Russian guy who's trolling the shit out of the crowd, which I kind of respect, but he's a Russian, so at the same
Starting point is 00:38:56 time, it's kind of weird. You're into Russians, though. Yeah. I have breaking news. Are you guys ready for this? I guess. Turns out Walt Disney is not frozen. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:15 After his death in 1966, Walt was interred. What does interred mean? I don't know, man. He's in a tomb. Yeah, does he have his own tomb? He's in the catacombs. It's spelled a tomb. Yeah, does he have his own tomb? He's in the catacombs. Spell interred. Oh, yeah, it's a grave or a tomb.
Starting point is 00:39:34 I-N-T-E-R-R-E-D. I've never heard that saying. I've never buried anybody. Hey, somebody said that your valuation of Disney was off by like roughly $200 billion. Not my valuation. I was relaying the information. I was relaying the information. I was relaying the information. Which...
Starting point is 00:39:49 I have no... I can't value something that big. But... Yeah, someone... I'll be honest. I don't know if... I looked at two different charts and I read what I had in front of me.
Starting point is 00:39:58 My source... I can't verify that guy's source. I don't even know what that was even on. If it was on Twitter or something. But I saw that and I was like, is that possible? But... Okay, that guy said 256. I don't even know what that was even on. If it was on Twitter or something. But I saw that and I was like, is that possible? But, okay, that guy said 256
Starting point is 00:40:07 or something like that. 200 up there. If like, now I'm seeing if you Google it, I'm seeing like 130. So it's all over the map. I don't think
Starting point is 00:40:16 these people actually know. Once you get over 1 billion, no one can actually tell where you're at. I feel like once you clear the Billy mark, like it doesn't really matter. That's where money becomes fake.
Starting point is 00:40:26 It's just, it's not tangible. Don't know what I'm talking about. Another thing here, it says 98 billion. Like, we may never know. If we got those,
Starting point is 00:40:38 those two things wrong, those are the first thing we've ever gotten wrong on this podcast. We usually, we usually totally buttoned up. And to be fair, I don't think we got it wrong. Like we're totally right. Yeah. So we still we usually totally buttoned up and to be fair i don't think we got it wrong like we're totally right yeah so we still haven't got anything wrong yeah it's great the difference between 25 billion and 250 billion like it's
Starting point is 00:40:52 zero the normal person can't grasp that like so we're pretty much right whatever do you really not have any fucking celebrities on your phone do not want this is like you this is like your take that like you don't feel bad when a celebrity dies. I have the meme of the black dude on the phone who's about to call the cops, you know? That's a good one. And I have memes ready to go, and that's it. I don't have any actual celebs. What's he going to do?
Starting point is 00:41:15 Like, hey, there's zombies here. I guess so. Please come help. Why are they so sassy? Yeah, man. No celebs. Help. Why are they so sassy?
Starting point is 00:41:23 Yeah, man. No celebs. In other news, have you guys seen the mini horse that was a service animal on a flight from Chicago? This is your fault, Will. This is all your fault. It's not not my fault. A mini horse seems excessive. I don't really mind it unless it stinks and poos,
Starting point is 00:41:53 which I have to think it does both of those things possibly at the same time. A horse's name is Flirty. Flirty, that's great. That's a fire name. Horses have the most defined smell like ever. Like when you smell a horse, like you know it's a horse. I have a question uh what is the purpose of a mini horse why were they bred like why were they created because they're tight it's like a regular horse but it's miniature right yeah but like what what purpose does it serve besides uh being this this woman's service animal because
Starting point is 00:42:20 you created because it's they're created right for kids to ride and shit. Is that it? Well, here. I don't know. From the article. You ready for this? Besides dogs, miniature horses who have been, quote, individually trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities are the only other service animals the Department of Justice deems protected
Starting point is 00:42:40 under the Americans with Disabilities Act. No shit. So dogs and mini horses. Isn't that crazy? So they actually do serve the purpose. They are service animals then. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:54 But there's a difference. So, okay. Do you want to go a step further now? Lay it on me, dog. There's a difference between service animals, emotional support animals, and therapy animals. I didn't know this until I did my research on this fucking mini horse.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Flirty has its own Instagram page. How's Flirty doing? Okay. Flirty going up right now? 10.2K. Respectable. I mean, it's about one map. I have more, but like.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Five digits. 10K. Flirty.the.mini.service.horse. That's a trash ad. That's a problem.horse. That's a trash ad. That's a problem. It's a trash ad. Is it verified? Yeah, does he have that check mark?
Starting point is 00:43:31 Is flirty a girl or a boy? It's hard to say. If I have the choice to fly on a, if I'm on a flight and they're saying, hey, do you want to be on this flight with the flirty, the mini horse, or do you want to go on this one without it? I'm going to fly with flirty, I think.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Sally and I sat next to a girl who was flying with a tight-ass dog, and it made my flight really, really nice. I was like, dude, this dog is chilling so hard. It's something different. It mixes it up. I'm going to be looking to see if that horse is taking just a massive dump,
Starting point is 00:43:59 which they do. That's the thing. Does it wear a diaper? Because horses just go. Horses don't give a fuck. They don't give they don't even squat they just like stand there and just let it pour out like roses tight rosie will come up to me and like sit down next to me and i know when she needs to go to the bathroom horses
Starting point is 00:44:12 just fucking walk and poop yeah there's pictures of uh flirty just people are you know taking snaps of it on the plane uh it does note in the the bio on instagram that any hate will be blocked. That's great. Don't hate on. I think I might add that to my bio. Yeah. I kind of operate under that these days. Anyway, do you guys want to know the difference between service animals,
Starting point is 00:44:33 emotional support animals and therapy animals? This is kind of interesting. Service animals are specifically trained to perform a task like a scene. Eye dog or one that prevents children with autism from running into traffic. These guys can go anywhere. Humans can, and they're protected by the ADA. like a sea and eye dog or one that prevents children with autism from running into traffic. These guys can go anywhere humans can and they're protected by the ADA. Emotional support animals are protected when it comes to flying and housing even though the ADA only states they need to provide reasonable accommodation. The pet doesn't need any training at all. And if it makes a mess or acts up then they can be asked to leave.
Starting point is 00:45:05 There's no certification for these. You just need a note from your doctor. That is the most common one. Is that what Rosie is? That's what Rosie is. And then a therapy animal are just pets that are brought into hospitals or schools or nursing homes to cheer people up. So they don't really serve any purpose besides just being who they are and making people smile. They do have a certification
Starting point is 00:45:25 program for those i don't know if that even matters okay rosie is a rosie is an emotional support dog for sally not me you don't need that kind of support sally's my emotional you're not emotionally available yeah man it seems seems that Flirty's handler is having a tough go of it. The most recent Instagram post is just this. It just says, I don't owe you anything. Hell yeah. And it's a long, drawn-out post about hate
Starting point is 00:45:55 and dealing with it. Is that a Foo Fighters reference? She's done dealing with the hate. Here's the thing. Insults and attacks. I don't think we should be cyberbullying someone that needs an emotional support animal. She seems to not be handling it the best way she makes sense makes sense i feel bad because i've i've previously stated that like i didn't feel bad about rosie
Starting point is 00:46:14 being what she is i feel bad in the sense that i hope that other people i hope that people don't take such advantage of this that they have to modify it by modifying the laws, screwing over people that actually straight up need it. Like the troops? Like troops. Which, that would be something if the troops got boned over because of you. Yeah. That being said, I don't think we're ever going to use it again.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Does she have global entry? She doesn't have global entry. That's too bad. I wonder if she has pre-check, though. Go ahead. I gotta know if Flirty is house-trained. I wonder if she has pre-check though. Did y'all see I gotta know I gotta know if Flirty is house trained. Like to poop outside. I feel like you gotta be.
Starting point is 00:46:50 It sounds like Flirty is like a straight up like baller. But like horses I don't who knows. Maybe. Did y'all see a former
Starting point is 00:46:57 Navy SEAL is training canines to attack school shooters? There's a video. It's a dog and it runs towards the sound of gunfire. It's not distracted by people and it just like tackles this dude. It's a dog and it runs towards the sound of gunfire. It's not distracted by people
Starting point is 00:47:05 and it just like tackles this dude. It's like a mock shooting. I don't want my dog running into the eye of the hurricane like that. I don't either, man. And also, what if there's a... Someone brought this point up on Twitter. What if there's a good guy with a gun?
Starting point is 00:47:24 You know? You know what I mean? Just what if there's a, someone brought this point up on Twitter. What if there's a good guy with a gun, you know, just dog stuck. You know what I mean? But if we're just duck hunting and like Randy comes and just takes us down. Yeah. I don't think that's going to happen, but that's, that's a good,
Starting point is 00:47:35 no, but I just, I don't know. It just, it seems like it's of all the ways to combat mass shootings. I feel like this one isn't, I don't know. Dogs are tight.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Fuck. Yeah. What am I isn't. I don't know. Dogs are tight. Fuck yeah. What am I talking about? I'm pro dog. We should train mini horses to go after active shooters. I don't think that's the move. Just slowly gallops over there. Yeah, it's probably not going to work out. They're a gentle species. They are. You said species really well that time.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Good job. Do you think about that now because you're in front of fucking Dylan? No. Mr. Grammar Nazi. Come on, Dave. Do you think about that now because you're in front of fucking Dylan? No. Mr. Grammar Nazi? Ha! Come on, man. Whenever I use a comma splice, I just like double down on it. You're such a comma splicer.
Starting point is 00:48:12 It drives me crazy. Species. Species. Like feces. Feces. Like ceces, yeah. We called ceces pizza feces pizza growing up.
Starting point is 00:48:21 And then we went there like every day. That's tight. Also, Taco Bell was toxic smell. Oh, we just called it Taco day. That's tight. Also, Taco Bell was Toxic Smell. Oh, we just called it Taco Hell. Taco Hell was a good one, too. Taco Hell. We used to call Jack in the Box Crap in the Box.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Sally's dad just called it Jack in the Crack, which I don't know what that means. Okay. A lot of people say that. So, I was just going to say, a kid down the street, his dad said that in front of the dude's mom. He's like,
Starting point is 00:48:49 Dan, you can't be saying that in front of them they're gonna repeat he's like oh you guys want to go to jack in the crack my dad used to tell like you know i would say progressive oj jokes during his trial um and i used to repeat them to adults thinking that i was like hilarious even though i didn't understand the jokes you're just telling insurance jokes and so like i remember one one of my friend's moms looked at me and she was just like oh you you shouldn't tell that joke to people and i was like okay i think i just need to start understanding these jokes a little bit better i mean oj he opened himself up to to getting ridiculed a little bit so i don't, you mean that time he killed two people? Yeah. And he murdered his wife in a waiter?
Starting point is 00:49:27 Yeah. Ron? Ron Goldman. Ron Goldman. RIP, man. Very sad. But, you know, we'll deal with that. Yeah, double murders are usually pretty sad.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Just out there. I wonder what his game looks like. He needs to do like he needs to post like a slow-mo. I want to see what his swing looks like. Talking about OJ? Yeah. Juice.
Starting point is 00:49:52 What do you think is handicapped? I bet he puts a pretty good move on the ball. He's the juice, man. Comes a little over the top probably cuts it a little bit. Probably. Probably.
Starting point is 00:50:02 He is the juice. Was that a knife joke? No. He is the juice, though. He joke no oh he is the juice though he's the juice man juice is honestly no one wants to admit this anymore it's one of the greatest top 10 nickname it's incredible i'll say about that the other day it is definitely top it's no caucasian zombie but it's good dude it's so good you get it because oj yeah okay it's not really intimidating though well the, the juice. When you really think about it.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Not all nicknames have to be intimidating. Caucasian zombie is a little scary though. Well, yeah. You don't want to see me appear in your doorway at 3 a.m.
Starting point is 00:50:33 telling you I have to go to the bathroom. I'm going to piss my pants. I don't want that. You just combine so many things. Have y'all both watched The Chappelle? My Netflix is not working.
Starting point is 00:50:46 I can't log in. Oh, your Netflix isn't working, huh? Turn the Steam on. It sucks. My Netflix sucks. Not only can I not log in. A little impromptu Steam right now. Get over here, Dave.
Starting point is 00:50:56 What a heads up play from your boy. Dude, I was not ready for this. I'm fully closed. Impromptu Steam. God, I'm steaming. I straight up can't log in. And not only that, Netflix won't even recognize my email. It's like I've just been deleted, man.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Did y'all do it? This is what happened with my HBO Go. I'm sitting at home just hacking your Netflix, Dylan. That's what I like to do in my free time. Can you unhack it? Yeah. I want you to not be able to watch content for the show. Can you hack out of it?
Starting point is 00:51:22 Because I got to watch my shit. I don't want to have two-man conversations with Dave while you sit here just looking at like photos of non-celebrities. I don't have time to get on the phone and call customer service at Netflix and ask them
Starting point is 00:51:31 what the hell's going on. I mean, I do. I have time. But I don't want to do that. Just turn it back on, bitch. Talking to Netflix. Is Netflix a female? Guys can be bitches.
Starting point is 00:51:43 What are you talking about? Get out of here. Man, I'm steaming on that shit. Yeah, that's annoying. I need my Netflix, dog. I mean, I could give you my login, but then you're going to be watching stuff that I don't want to watch,
Starting point is 00:51:54 and then my queue is going to be messed up. To be fair, I am using Lily's account, so I can't talk. Netflix is a worthwhile service, but it's not working. That's such an understatement. You haven't watched the Chappelle stand-up then? That's the point I'm making,
Starting point is 00:52:09 that I haven't yet, because Netflix is really... I just wanted to point out that when he was talking about... Sticking it to me. When he said, when he was talking about Juicy Smollett, for like the first minute,
Starting point is 00:52:19 I didn't know what he was talking about. I had no clue who he was talking about. And then my wife was like, oh, she's about Jussie. Yeah, everyone. Oh, everyone.
Starting point is 00:52:27 The hate crime stage. The guy who faked that attack. Yeah, but he starts going in on juicy small hands. I swear, dude, it went right over my head
Starting point is 00:52:36 for a minute. I was like, ha, I was doing like the fake laugh, looking around, looking around. He's like, this is great.
Starting point is 00:52:41 One person doesn't get the joke, so I'm going to laugh along with it. I totally get that. People said that you drove a car into luby's in order to get some more false flag man i i really wanted the uh security footage to come out on that but didn't see it man you could get it i definitely would have been in it because i was right there let's get it i don't know how let's go to corporatey's corporate. I'm pretty big on security footage these days. The footage came out of Rosie's attack.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Oh, yeah, that's right. I wish it didn't. It's a little weird. Poor Rosie. She's killing it, though. Major shouts to Rosie. Juicy. Juicy Smollett.
Starting point is 00:53:28 You got to figure out that Netflix situation, man. Dude, situation man i'm telling you man it's a real drag i got i got hbl getting me by though prime you know i'm a big hbo i mean you got it dude you stop hbo has such a it falls off so hard after a certain point you got succession you got hard knocks uh i'm watching um sopranos right now are you still chugging along me dog yeah get out of here how far in are you i'm just saying hbo has mailed it in when it comes to their movie selection lately a midway through season two dave you got a lot to go hard knocks is good i'm not watching it well you're an idiot i'm not though well i just watched the clips that people put online sorry yeah i need i need to get flicks back maybe you can find some like youtube clips of the chappelle thing no since you don't have netflix see i do have it like i'm a paying customer
Starting point is 00:54:18 they're just not delivering on the product it's gotta be frustrating that you pay for it but doesn't work right that's what i'm thinking. What is it a month? Like 15 now? It's up to 17. That's insane. Are you serious? I'm glad I'm using someone else's. Dude, hook me up. I don't know the password. Fuck. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:54:38 I don't know. If anyone wants to let me log in their account, that'd be pretty cool. I'll just cancel mine. I'm now subscribed to a lot of shit. Just hit the DMs, man. I espn plus now i'm doing espn plus and i i want to kick my own ass i'll watch them for admitting that i'll watch baylor sfa on it they have the thing about espn plus is that they if i don't usually go to it for a reason but when i check it i'm like oh this looks interesting no they always have stuff and it's i i could see it's big on soccer right there's a lot of soccer games
Starting point is 00:55:05 a lot of Italian games there's some really good games on there that that you wouldn't expect and there's like lower league English games which are kind of fun to watch
Starting point is 00:55:14 just because they're like it's just a totally different vibe but it's just I hate I hate that I'm watching it I feel like a scumbag so I'm just gonna be paying for a bunch of different things. I cut the cord now
Starting point is 00:55:27 I'm paying just as much. Fuck. I think we were thinking about cutting the cord but the fact that you can't get Longhorn Network on YouTube TV I think that's going to take Sally's I don't think she's going to be about that life. I was a little bummed that I couldn't watch any Texas but then I was like
Starting point is 00:55:44 Do I care? Yeah. I was a little bummed that I couldn't watch any Texas, but then I was like... Do I care? Yeah. I was like, there's Longhorn Network. I was like, initially, I was like, oh, I don't get Longhorn Network.
Starting point is 00:55:50 That sucks. And I was like, I don't ever watch this. I don't need to watch the 2005 Rose Bowl. Dude, all they do is just play, yeah,
Starting point is 00:55:57 classic Rose Bowl games and shit. It's boring. I don't know. You do get Ricky, though. Ricky doing some announcing is not the worst thing in the world. Oh, I forgot he's on there. I love him, man You do get Ricky though. Ricky doing some announcing is not the worst thing in the world. Oh, I forgot he's on there.
Starting point is 00:56:08 I love him. Great. Talking, of course, about Ricky Williams. Yeah. Real one. Let's talk, of course, about Postmates.
Starting point is 00:56:20 When you need red wine at 4 p.m., sushi at 9 p.m., a breakfast burrito at 8 a.m., and ibuprofen at 10 a.m., sushi at 9 p.m., a breakfast burrito at 8 a.m., and ibuprofen at 10 a.m., just Postmates it. Postmates is your personal food delivery, grocery delivery, whatever kind of delivery service all year round. Anything you're craving, Postmates can deliver.
Starting point is 00:56:35 They're the largest on-demand network in the U.S. They offer delivery from all the restaurants, grocery stores, convenience stores, literally everything. You know, this isn't in the copy but there's no time of the year more than football season when i'm trying to post mate stuff yeah it's like because i don't want to go to these trash establishments and order trash food and then lug it back to my place i'd rather just have someone deliver it and make me feel better about it yeah if i'm ordering 100 chicken wings from somewhere for you know the little party
Starting point is 00:57:03 i don't want to go put that in my car and smell honey barbecue in the back no i don't want my i don't want the whip smelling like taco hell no we don't need that postmates is postmates is the move you can download the app on ios or android for free and browse local restaurants and businesses and track your delivery in real time for a limited time postmates is giving our listeners 100 that's a c note for those keeping track at home a free delivery credit for your first seven days to start your free deliveries download the app and use code circling that's code circling for 100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days when you download the postmates app anything you need anytime you need it post made it download post mates and save with code circling circling wow uh you know what time it is it's time for this weekend and fun
Starting point is 00:57:54 it's time for this weekend and fun nothing like a wednesday morning talking the weekend i'm gonna stand up for this one why um just give me that kind of a weekend. Plus, I'm tired of sitting. Okay. Dylan's just standing up for the podcast now. I just want to stretch out a little bit. Don't look into it too much. Man, this is going to be a weekend. I can't take this fucking weird, dude.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Dylan's just hovering over us right now. Are you about to yell at us? This is my second podcast in a row. I've been sitting in this chair for two hours. Give me a break. Oh, dude. Thoughts and prayers. Yeah, dude. All these been sitting in this chair for two hours. Give me a break. Oh, dude. Thoughts and prayers. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:58:25 All these people sitting at their desks like in some uncomfortable office chair doing a task they don't want to do, ready to blow their brains out. You know what they get to do when they get uncomfortable or tired of sitting? They can stand up and walk around and get right back to their desk.
Starting point is 00:58:37 I don't have that luxury. You stupid dick. You do. You just have it during the afternoon when you're not recording. Okay, anyway. And they're still sitting at their desks. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:58:46 So Friday, big, big day. Well, first of all, Brett will be here. New hire Brett will be here. He gets in tomorrow. That's big time. Yeah. So we're going to hang out with him Friday. But I have my fantasy football thing.
Starting point is 00:59:01 I got to do the dress. Shut up. The dress barbecue thing. Quit trying to turn this into a fantasy podcast. Then the draft is at 4 o'clock. We'll be eating Franklin's barbecue. That'll be exciting. Talented Mr. Roto over here.
Starting point is 00:59:12 Wait, so what do you do with the barbecue? You just put it in the oven? I'm going to put it in the cooler. Is it a Yeti? I haven't secured. I don't own a cooler, by the way, which is. NF Confessions. I know, right?
Starting point is 00:59:22 Oh, my God, dude. You don't have Netflix? You don't have a Yetii I'm such a silly little bitch I know oh my god what the fuck is wrong with you a lot the homies are like
Starting point is 00:59:30 Jesus I'm calling child services if you don't have a fucking cooler oh I don't think they're gonna you know do anything about me not owning a cooler they're gonna be like if I called child services right now
Starting point is 00:59:38 I was like hey this dude doesn't have Netflix for his kids they're gonna be like are you serious like not even someone else's password the homie has plenty to watch're gonna be like are you serious like not even someone else's password the homie has plenty to watch dude you're like the you're like the dad who forgets to pack his kid lunch yeah you didn't give him lunch money so he just got a running come
Starting point is 00:59:54 on that's not cool man that's you homie is well taken i heard he's been trading his healthy lunches for like dr peppers and shit he's just chugging behind the scenes. Peanut M&M's and DP. Yeah. Trading his lunches. Anyway. Am I drafted at 4 o'clock? Oh, dude, sick. Are you going to go live?
Starting point is 01:00:12 You should go live. What does your board look like right now, dude? Will you all just shut up and let me do my thing? You're the one who wanted to stand up. Yeah, you're making the... Fucking ludicrous over here. And, yes, we might go out later on Friday. Klein will be here. Brett will be here.
Starting point is 01:00:30 You turds. I know you got to leave the next morning, Dave. Yeah, I do. But you might be down to do something, Will. We'll see about that. Yeah, trust me. Saturday, big, big day. So Saturday, of course, is the LSU-Texas football game.
Starting point is 01:00:43 What does LSU stand for? No one really knows. It's one of those like... Lafayette State. Oh yeah. Thank you Dave. My friends and I actually the same group
Starting point is 01:00:56 that I'm doing the draft with we are renting we rented out a bar which no one's doing. We rented out a bar in like the biggest home game in Austin in you know years since notre dame bigger than that dave come on notre dame was ranked like 20 something at the
Starting point is 01:01:14 time and texas wasn't it was also like like unranked actually so fuck off you're you don't know all right all right dude we're talking two top 10 teams tell us about your weekend dude jesus we're running a bar, hanging out all day. We've got a bar tab. And then who knows where the night is. Are you going to invite the backers? Tell them where to go. No, I can't.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Why? It's a private situation. Dude, you're shitty, man. It's a private sitch. That's fucked up. Dude, let them show up. I can make this promise to the backers. If I ever rent a bar, you're invited.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Who knows where the night will take us? It's going to be a big, big week. Imagine renting a bar and not inviting backers. We also got to find a place for Brett to stay. That's going to be fun. Hell yeah. The way I kind of live, it's like, if you back us, I back you. Dylan doesn't follow that philosophy.
Starting point is 01:01:55 No, Dylan hates you. No, I love the backers. By you, I mean the general public. This is like a paid bar tab, and I can't pay for backers to show up and drink off of it. Sorry. You did say that if... Never mind. What did I say? What did you say, dude? paid bar tab and I just I can't pay for backers to show up and drink off of it so sorry you did say that if never mind what I said what you said you said you said there was a few backers if and you winked at me that you might let in I don't think that happened man all right Dave what are
Starting point is 01:02:18 you doing for fun you dickhead should I stand up no I just sit down like yeah stand up if you're gonna address the class please please stand up, David. Going to, well, I guess Friday night I'll probably make dinner. Got to get home early because I got a very early flight Saturday morning flying to New York. Not the city, but the state. Flying into Buffalo. Then I've got Uncle I'm staying with Saturday night. Then we're driving about an hour south, southwest,
Starting point is 01:02:46 maybe an hour and a half to a little golf resort. Going to play some golf, some New York golf, some upstate golf. And I'm looking forward to it. That sounds chill. Yeah. I hope you shoot like 98. Dude, honestly, I probably will. Good, bitch.
Starting point is 01:03:02 That was unnecessary, Dylan. I'm sorry, man. I hope you're so hungover Sunday and all you want to do is watch stand-up and you can't get your Netflix to work. Yeah, so I'll be watching. I'll be there till Monday, so I'm going to miss Monday's pod. But I'll be playing golf. Be doing some content up there.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Follow me at DCRuff on Instagram. At DCarterRuff on Twitter and Snap. If you want to follow me there as well. But, yeah, it's going to be a good time. It's going to be watching. Man, I don't know if I'm going to get to see much of the college games, but we'll be watching the Cowboy game up there. It's a late game.
Starting point is 01:03:33 So, like, 4 o'clock that in Eastern time. So, good stuff for me. That's big for you, dog. Actually doing something this weekend. That's exciting. Mm-hmm. Hey, Will, what about you, dog. Actually doing something this weekend. That's exciting. Mm-hmm. Hey, Will, what about you, man?
Starting point is 01:03:46 Well, your boy has a huge weekend ahead of him. Thursday night, I don't know. The world's our oyster. Brett's going to be in town.
Starting point is 01:03:55 I mean, the best way to initiate your new employee and everything is just to get, like, rip-roaring drunk with him. So I'm going to try to do that. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:04:02 Friday, taking Rosie to the vet. She's going to be fucking fucking lit she's getting her stitches out she's about to be full strength it's gonna be we're just gonna be run wild after that you're coming through franklin's too yeah i'm coming through franklin's i'm gonna try to take a pick of dylan uh and then uh friday night got a group dinner some uh some out of town friends coming in it's gonna be awesome oh wait you're not going to dinner with us. I can't,
Starting point is 01:04:25 I'll be around after and stuff, but yeah, I, Sally coordinated the dinner. So I'm like the one person who can't back out at the last minute. Uh, we've also got house guests and it'd be weird if I just didn't go with the house guests that are staying with me to like dinner and just like,
Starting point is 01:04:37 Oh boy. Anyway, uh, Saturday, I got three tailgates to go to count them. One, two, three.
Starting point is 01:04:44 I'm very excited about it. One of which is a Dylan's. If you want to go to. Count them. One, two, three. I'm very excited about it. One of which is Dylan's. If you want access to the address, just DM me, and I will give you the address to Dylan's tab. And then going to the game. Very excited about that. I figured we had to have one person inside the grounds, so I will be there.
Starting point is 01:04:59 And, yeah, Sunday, just probably going to lick the wounds. Planning on drinking several Tallboy Coors Heavies at the game. That's your move? Oh, yeah. They also have ciders there, too. And so if you get a cup of ice, which they try to charge you for, but if you find a real one, they'll give you a free cup of ice. You can get one of those, and then you can pour the cider over ice,
Starting point is 01:05:20 and it's a real nice, crisp way to enjoy the night. I can't do yellow bellies, man. Why? It's just not a good beer. Yeah, i'll drink a coors light it's not a banquet oh banquets are the bomb but that's it yeah i don't i don't know it's gonna be a fun weekend there's it's not that often that i get like pumped up for a ut game i'm certified pumped up for this one i can't stand i'm so excited i can't stand up like dylan well aust, I mean, we don't get that many big home games here because we don't have A&M coming to town anymore.
Starting point is 01:05:48 And, of course, OU's at a neutral site every year. So we've got to take advantage of these, man. You're right. You're right. I'm always right. Are you? No. All right, we've got to just end this.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Dylan's creeping me out. Dylan's just being a fucking weirdo. I'm all cheesed up. You have a hernia or something? What's going on? What's that little bulge? Want to come check for me? What's that tiny little bulge?
Starting point is 01:06:12 Go over here. Check. Stop what you're doing. All right, we should get out of here. Should we? Yeah. Dylan's always wanting to get out of here. Yep.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Classic Dylan. Turn the volume up for the music, dude. Oh, okay. Dumbass. All right. We'll see you guys later today for Bachelor in Paradise on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Struggling Back Podcast. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. you

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