Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Friday, December 21st

Episode Date: December 21, 2012

Turns out the end of the world didn't happen, so it's back to work today! Don't worry, one day the Robots will rise up against us - just give it time. Then you can finally tell your boss where to shove those TPS reports. Also Jesse analyzes Crendor's dream.

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trendog! This is Trendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Trendog in the morning! Hello everybody, it's Friday. It's the end of the morning! It's the end of the morning!

Hello there, everybody. It's Friday. The world didn't end. I know, I was all looking forward to being like, Oh no! I didn't squeeze enough boobs! Oh, it's the end, Grendel! Oh, it's the end! Thomas drinking orange soda. I see you've taken a drink. You've taken a drink at the end

orange soda is the end of the world drink sponsored by sprecker send us more orange soda yes sprecker send me more cream soda thanks by which i like how we're implying that one they listen two they give a damn three that we wouldn't just buy it anyway yeah but the world didn't end so that's a thing yeah i would like to say it's because we squeezed all the breasts in the world but really it's because it was a non-thing and uh i don't know what to tell you this is wait you mean all the movies and books and tv shows and prophecies were wrong well Well, I don't think there were any real prophecies. I'm pretty sure a calendar ended and then people made up things around that date.

So, yeah. So like what humanity does all the time. It can't be just coincidences. No, no, that'd be nuts. I had fun making it entertaining for myself. I started believing the Mayan robots were going to come out of Mexico City for a while. You did? That was the thing you believed? Yeah, I was kind of excited.

Well, not only you believed that, because apparently there is mass hysteria today. Despite a flood of people debunking this and and people saying this is not a thing even mayans real living mayans who are like this is nothing people are still freaking out from china to the americas people are losing their minds according to multiple reports nasa has fielded hundreds of concerned calls hundreds of members of religious groups In the northwest of China Have been arrested for spreading doomsday rumors All despite the fact that It's not going to happen

Well they didn't know that What's really funny is We know this because we played a video game That had this word in it A boktun The boktuns are cycles And in mine culture The calendar has different cycles

And there are Boktoons And that's it Once it's done it goes to another It doesn't mean the world can end It just goes to another The one thing we learned from that game The one thing we learned from a horrible video game we played together It just goes to another

There's literally nothing to this But because crazy people Will always continue to be crazy that's that's that's the thing funny story another quote throw it on the tombstone crazy people will always be crazy one of the things that's even more funny is technically because of the mayans and the way uh and the time difference between then and now. We've added leap years. We've added time zones

and changing like going forward and going an hour ahead and going an hour back and stuff like that. So really, really we probably either already passed it or it wouldn't be for another few years. That's what it is. It's not for another few years. That's what it is.

It's not for another few years. I almost feel like that's what people are going to say. Like, well, we were wrong because it's not for another few years. Clearly we were off. Like, no, no. Stop. Stop. That's what the Mayan robots want us to think.

They wanted us to think it was today. Yeah. And then they're going to think it was today. Yeah. And then they're going to make it so everybody just forgets. One day you wake up, Mayan robots outside your house. I think everyone's just really sad. That the world isn't ending? Yeah. People are let down.

We were promised an end. We were promised something spectacular. And damn it, we were given nothing. We were promised an end. We were promised something spectacular. And damn it, we were doing nothing. We were promised robots. We were promised Mayan robots flying out of the sky on asteroids. We were promised new overlords to help us grow our economy and get out of debt. I think people took it to heart and started squeezing lots of boobs and they saved the world. Look, I'm just saying.

I wanted the robots. We can, look, one day they'll take over anyway. You and I both know it. That's true. One day they'll take over. That's true. All right. That cheers me up a little bit.

Right? I'll drink to that. It's only a matter of time. I'll drink to that, too. It's only a matter of time. Yeah. Yeah. You're very excited. I Can't wait for you robots.

Can't wait. You're very excited about that. A little too excited. Wow. It's almost like you're feigning excitement. Like that wasn't real or something. That was extremely real. I brought forth all that excitement. Did you?

I did. All of it. Did you? I did. All right, well, yeah, so nothing happened today, and yeah, we said it wasn't going to happen a while ago, but we hoped. And I guess you can hope for light traffic tomorrow morning because everyone stayed out late partying. Krendar, how is that traffic looking? Stayed out late partying. Krendor, how is that traffic looking? Uh, well, there's a lot of snow. There's a lot of rain.

But the earth is still here. And people are depressingly driving to their shitty jobs. And they have to go back to living. And they're pretty sad about it. So they will go out drinking later tonight. So I'd watch out for the traffic later tonight. Since they're all going to be trying to forget about how their lives have continued onward. And, uh,

that's that. Alright, how depressing. Now let's go to Crendor over at the weather desk. Crendor, how's that weather? Uh, the weather today is, uh, hold on. It is not a billion degrees Celsius as you would have imagined.

Damn. We could have only have hoped. We could have only have hoped. But. I would have had a fabulous tan before the end. Let's head on down to, or head on up to New London, Minnesota. Where it's just, it might as well be the apocalypse. It might as well be.

Two degrees Fahrenheit. Woo. be the apocalypse. It might as well be. Two degrees Fahrenheit. We got 10 mile visibility, 7 mile per hour winds, west-northwest keywords, snow, wind, rain. Let's check out some tweets. Stobie29 says, Woken up by this heavy rainfall.

RsePetagi says, Info doomsday. Retweet,aji says, info doomsday. Retweet, it just rained like doomsday in here. F'n scary. Retweet. And Dollface says, sitting in this dude's car, I swear this weather was killing me. My body can't handle it.

And the Frisco Kid says... Hold on. Hold on. There's such a story there. Sitting in this dude's car, the weather's so bad my body can't handle it? That is borderline erotica. This weather was... Wait, just read into it, man. Sitting in this dude's car.

What? Okay. Okay, robot Crandor. Sitting in this dude's car. Uh-huh. I swear this weather was killing me. Uh-huh. Let's think about that.

I swear this weather was killing me. How is it killing her? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. She's in the dude's car. She won't tell her friends who this dude is. Sitting in this dude's car. Who?

What dude? Does she not know the dude? Is she so easy? Like, how do I get her number? But then my body can't handle it. Her body can't handle it. Whoa. Borderline er't handle it. Whoa. Borderline erotic, man. Whoa.

Yup. The Frisco Kid says, what's the weather like? Cause it's kook here. Cloudy and then a peak of sunshine and then prob rain later. Cause it's kook here. Prob rain later. And some great tweets from New London,on minnesota all right thanks for that weather report now over to crendor at the sports desk got some big news on sports today rob gronkowski is

remaining limited in practice today uh robert griffin the third he's looking good once again and the cubs signed uh edwin jack Jackson to a four-year $52 million deal So he can take part in the losing Ouch Being a Cubs fan my entire life And having given up on them like two years ago I can say these things Oh, oh, oh, okay

It makes sense then Yeah Because we've lost for over 100 years now. Is that true? Has it really been that long? It's been like 104 years now. That's ridiculous. There's a shirt. Wait, wait. I guess you're right.

I was about to say, like, baseball hasn't been around that long, but it really has. It's been around a lot longer than that, actually. There's a store here, and it's like it sells Cubs stuff, and they have a shirt, and it's like World Series Champions 1905 or something. You can buy it if you want. It's amazing. Freaking Cubs. That's sports.

All right, now let's go get down to business with the big news story of the day. Eleven surprising things that affect your dreams. You hate how your mother-in-law meddles in your marriage, so it's no shocker when you tell her off in your dreams. After all, your brain's way of working through unresolved conflicts. It's your brain's way. Of course. But what can explain that recent string of random nightmares or incredibly vivid visions?

What the hell? We know a bit about things that affect dream recall and make for more nightmares, says Dear D. Barrett, PhD. Okay. So here are 11 surprising things that can influence what pops up in your dreams and how likely you are to remember them. What if I can guess some of these?

I think I know some of these. Smells. Hmm. I would not have guessed that. So, like, how your room smells? Or just, like, if you only have cinnamon? Maybe cinnamon. It says, do sweet smells lead to sweet dreams?

One small study found that sniffing flowers at a particular point in the sleep cycle led to more positive dreams, while a sulfur odor was linked to negative ones. Where the hell are you going to smell a sulfur odor? Where do you live where that's a problem for you? Indiana. Wait, why Indiana? Because have you not been to Gary, Indiana? No!

No, that's not something I do. I don't just go Gary Indiana well I haven't like stayed at Gary and how do you know we drove through it and it's all pollution and it got voted like one of the dirtiest cities in America okay yeah sure all right that's what happens when you're, like, on the south side. When you're on the south side. Just leave it at that. That's what happens when you're on the south side. Dreams are sleep protective, says J. Cats Beware.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that guy's name? J. Cats Beware. What? Kateubiware. What? Katesi. Katesi. Katesiware. His name is...

All right. At first, Katsiware was amazing. But now it's Katesiware. Beware, Kate. Katesiware. Okay, whatever. Continue. So instead of waking up, you incorporate those stimuli into your dream.

Oh, okay, that makes sense. Not at all. Unless it does. Sure. Yeah, alright. Number two. Sounds. You wake up after dreaming, you're stuck in a burning building and realize that the fire alarm you heard was actually your alarm clock. You're stuck in a burning building and realize the fire alarm you heard was actually your alarm clock What's with that? There's a narrow window for sounds to get through to your brain during sleep says dr. Barrett they need to be low enough that they don't wake you but not but high enough that you perceive them So let a recording of ocean waves play softly throughout the night you might recall a dream about a beach

I want people have those like sound machine things Yeah, I think so. Aren't they like white noise things? That wasn't a creepy breathing. That was the ocean. It sounded like Darth Vader. Hey, Timmy, I bought you this nice new sleep sound machine. Timmy, I am your father daddy

number three wait hold on i haven't guessed yet oh okay so we have sound we have smells this one's probably taste or something yeah Yeah. Spicy food. That's taste! That's close enough. It's simple. Anything that could cause indigestion, cheese, spicy foods, a big meal, makes you stir more. Meaning you have a better shot of remembering that nightmare. The rule of thumb is that you need to wake up within five minutes of having a dream to recall it, says Dr. Ware. For rest that's more peaceful all around, eat dinner at least two hours before bedtime and choose nighttime snacks wisely. No Haagen-Dazs.

Since caffeine can have the same disrupt effect, it's best to cut your coffee intake to post 2pm. Or cut it post 2pm. Which, let me tell you something. If you wake up and then you, like, stay up for, like, a minute and then you fall back asleep, you'll remember your dreams.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What? You can't just read a news article, then break out into crazy talk. What? No. What you do, you can even try it. If you, like, want to wake up at, say, 10 a.m., you set your alarm for 9 a.m.,

and then you shut your alarm off, and you go back to sleep, and when you wake up, you're going to remember the dream you're having. Say what? I've done that for years, and it has worked every time. I read it somewhere on the internet. I tried it. It worked, and I haven't looked back. This may be the first case of where reading something on the internet worked.

However, I don't believe you for a minute, so that's a thing. Well, you are An unbeliever that's true. I'm a skeptic is what they call I don't care if you believe or not because I'm 15 years old. I'm gonna have a baby What? What I can have my dreams, and I can remember them Yeah, you wish you could remember your dreams!

I got the end like, yeah! Oh, yeah! Yeah, you remember your dreams! Remember your dreams, girl! Uh, number four. Sleeping on your stomach. Are you prone to racy dreams? Oh, damn.

Well, sleeping in the prone position might have something to do with it. A new study published in the journal Dreaming found that lying on your belly in bed was linked to blush-worthy dream themes like having sex with a celebrity or being tied up. What? Researchers hypothesized that it might have to do with your breathing patterns in this position. To stop the sexy thoughts or keep them coming, adjust your sleep posture. So I like how they're like,

if you don't like to dream about sex and you want to dream about doing your taxes, sleep a different way. But, if you do definitely sleep this way. I like how they have to clarify. It should be like new form of sleeping only on your stomach all the time. It's that. Yep.

But next up. Oh, okay. I think we covered it pretty well. I think we did. Vitamin B6. While there's no research on whether or not taking B6 leads to more lucid dreams. Wait, what? You can't just start your point with,

well, there's no research to support what I'm about to say. What I'm about to say is. The internet is awash with the an- An- An- An- An- An-

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Huh? According to Dr. Barrett, it makes good biological sense. B6 is the cofactor our body uses to turn some of the amino acids we eat into the neurotransmitters that affect our dreaming. Oh, okay. Stop the vivid dreams. Stop the supplements. But if you're looking to encourage dreaming, stay within the recommended amount of B6 daily. Too much could cause nerve damage or numbness. let me tell you story what okay so I was having trouble sleeping uh-huh this is a six uh not really what you are all over

the place you really are depressed that the world didn't end you're trying I think you're still hoping the world's gonna so you're trying to get in every last awful story you have before the end of this episode. A little bit. A little bit. So I took melatonin. Oh, melatonin, I actually, you saw those, like, sleepy time things I bought off

Groupon? Those knock you the balls out. Yeah. So, I never took melatonin before, and they were like, it's supposed to help you get you back to your normal sleep schedule. And I was like, okay. And so, I tried it, and I had the most vivid dreams I think I've ever

had in my life. Dare I ask what they were? One of them was, I was, like, in a forest, and then I went into a house, and it was... Yeah, but the house was a forest. Uh-huh. And then I went into a house. Uh-huh, in the forest. And it was, yeah, but the house was my house.

And so then I went into a room and the stairs. But the room was my room. No, it was stairs. Oh, okay. And stairs led down to the basement. Okay. And in the basement, there was a giant. It was my basement.

It was a giant golf course. I can believe that's your basement. There were two women guarding giant golf course. I can believe that's your basement. There were two women guarding the golf course. And they were like, do you want to golf? And I was like, yeah. And then, I was walking around the golf course, and then it all shifted to a giant board game. And then I was standing on the board game and I was looking around and like on other tiles things were exploding like each tile had its own okay hold

on hold on hold on hold on hold on I need to get on notepad for this okay you were in a forest right then you went into a house into downstairs to a golf course, guarded by women, right? Two women. Two women. Women. All right. Then it shifted to a chessboard, you would say? It wasn't a chessboard.

It was like a giant game board in the sky. So a game board in the sky, alright. It wasn't really like any type of game. And then stuff started exploding. Okay, and then what? Continue, please. Complete. Please.

I'm gonna analyze this dream, because there's so much here. Uh, and so I was with my friends. I was with like two of my friends. Are these male friends? Yes. They showed up after the explosions or before? Before. Were they with you for the women?

It was after. Okay. So then friends showed up. Okay. And then I was looking around and each tile of the game board had a crazy thing going on. Like one tile had explosions on it. Another tile had like army pieces on it. And it was just like different things on

different tiles. And then? Then I woke up. Okay. And I was like, I remember that entire dream like it just happened. I'm gonna analyze this dream. I'm gonna analyze this dream for everyone listening. Okay. You were in a forest.

Forests can represent something shrouded Something mysterious Something thick That you just can't wrap your mind around, right? But in that forest you found a home It was your home, you said You found your home in that forest

So in this thick haze of confusion You found comfort But in that comfort You descended downwards towards a golf course, which we all know is filled with holes, guarded by women, symbolism

that these women, you are focused on their holes. Right? And once you realize that your goal, going through the elusive forest through this dark forest of mystery you found comfort in knowing that what you want out of life is women's holes but then it shifted to a game board because then you realized then order to get on the golf course of women's holes you had to play the game and that's when stuff started exploding because it was crazy you didn't know what to do but your friends

showed up to guide you and help you along the way. But with each tile there was always something crazy and different happening. This is a dream about your love life bro. Whoa. I know that's deep man that's deep. And by love life I mean obvious sex. Just just plain sex and your sex drive. It's a man's sex drive. Symbolizes society. I feel like I've done good work. You've done great work. I've done great work.

You should be. You're the next Freud. I am. Except rather than my answers always leading to you wanting to have sex with your mom, mine are you want to have sex with a golf course. And you do a lot less cocaine. You want to have sex with a golf course. And you do a lot less cocaine.

I wouldn't go that far. Antidepressants. Yes, those pills that are supposed to calm you down, especially the SSRI, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Class of antidepressants like Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft might be upping your nightmares. So, drugs are bad for you, is what it's saying. Uh. I'm not sure I follow their logic, because I thought all drugs were good for you. That's what I thought, too. I know, right?

It's weird that altering your body chemistry in any way would somehow affect you. This is blowing my mind. In a negative way. Strange. Gotta go take some antidepressants. Next one's quitting smoking. Vivid dreams have been shown to be a symptom of kicking the habit, and in one study, 63% of smokers still dreamed about smoking a year later.

Granted, you may just be working through your main issue at the moment, but nicotine withdrawal also enhances brain activity in a way that can make you dream more. I think that would apply to any addiction, yeah? Like, not just nicotine. Probably any addiction you have, when you don't do it, your brain's like, I don't know what's happening. Or it's just like, I need it. And then it's slowly like, I kind of need it.

And then it's like, yeah, I don't need it. But deep down, there's like that one brain goblin. And he's just like, I need it. And if he ever started up again, that's when he goes to work. That's why you have dreams. That's why started up again, that's when he goes to work. That's why you have dreams. That's why smokers have dreams of golf courses guarded by cigarettes. Yes. They just want to bang those

cigarettes so badly. What? Jesse Freud is here to talk to you about all your golf course banging dreams. Black and white TV. What? While under quirky but possibly true,

you grew up before color TV sets were commonplace, you might be more likely to recall your dreams in grayscale rather than color. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Grayscale dreams. I imagine it's also, they have the really cheesy, like, if you didn't have TV and all you had was movies, and the only movies you had were like the

let's go out to the drive-thru! Like those? I imagine your dreams are hot dogs and bags of popcorn dancing. So if your dream is of a golf course guarded by a hot dog and bag of popcorn,. So if your dream is of a golf course guarded by a hot talking bag of popcorn, you are very old. I see.

Or hungry. Next is go into bed hungry. You're struggling to keep yourself on that diet and you might be having dreams to prove it. Low blood sugar can rouse you from sleep, meaning you may remember more dreams, and those dreams may star a juicy burger or a piping hot piece of pizza.

Juicy. Juicy. In fact, Dr. Ware's anorexic patients almost always dreamed about food in one sleep study. Good to know. There you go. Yeah, so enjoy anorexics. Eat food. Yeah, eat food.

It's so weird that all the solutions to having crazy dreams is just to do normal things. Eat. Eat. Now, if you do things that make you feel normal, you're going to be normal. It's so weird. It's almost like saying, if you don't want to die, start to breathe more. It's really going to help put oxygen into your

body? It turns out, scientists have discovered you need oxygen to live. But, also breaking news, too much oxygen will kill you and too little oxygen will also kill you. So be careful out there. Also, it'll give you cancer.

Uh, we could be like a daytime TV talk show, just like, okay, everyone, uh, remember to breathe, because breathing is going to help you live, okay? Everyone, breathing is going to help you live. Yes. Yes, thank you. I mean, it really makes sense. It really makes sense, Cocky Phil.

It's like we're a daytime TV talk show. Except that clap went on way too long. Like, they were very excited to find out that information. They're like, yeah! Woo! I'm a genius! It's like the two old people in the audience Just like wow Martha I couldn't even believe this This is like wow

65 years 65 years I had no clue I had no clue she's like I love you again Philbert I love you Martha Let's get married again on the Dr. Phil show Oh I love you This time we're gonna breathe through our relationship Number 10 scary movies before bed Oh yeah that'll do it This time we're going to breathe through our relationship.

Number 10, scary movies before bed. Oh, yeah, that'll do it. That's one that I believe. That and the food one, I believe. Because I, scary movies, oh, lordy lord, don't do that to me. I believe those. The others, I think, are nonsense. That's because I haven't had them.

And as a skeptic, if I haven't seen it, it doesn't exist. Makes a good point. Makes a very good point. And finally, pregnancy and the postpartum period. Affecting more men than you would realize. All the men. All men. Someone said in

top comments, I should really try sleeping on my stomach. Told ya. I told ya. All right, guys, that's it. The world didn't end, and I assume it won't over the next week. So I will be out of town. We're going to go home and celebrate the holiday season with our families and whatnots.

And by giving materialistic items. That's how the baby Jesus would have wanted it. Yeah. And we'll be back maybe next Friday to wrap up what we did over the little break there, but I don't think we'll do any shows next week just because it'll be too hectic and too crazy.

But thank you all for listening, and when we come back, we come back. So, as always, to be continued. Ding, ding!