Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Tuesday, January 22nd 2013

Episode Date: January 22, 2013

Tuesday is here once again, and in apparently Jesse lived through the weekend. Although Crendor may have had something to do with, since nothing else happened. Although they did watch more Storage Wars. Also Crendor analyzes why cute things make you want to cuddle them to death.

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Trend Dog in the morning! It's the next Trend Dog in the morning! Up and up, next Friday in the morning!

Hello everybody, it's Tuesday. And yesterday was Fry Monday. Fry Monday, because everything tastes better when it's fried, as we discussed on Fry Monday. Exactly. See, there's a reason for it. The Yakuza didn't get me. Everything's good. The sword is still downstairs and still glowing. And everything's good.

You had to fight off a couple, and that's why we didn't have Monday's show. Yeah, when I said we had stuff to do, we actually had to fight the Yakuza. It was very bloody, but I feel like at the end we talked it out over some tea. Yeah. Limbs were lost, but love was gained. And we are now friends. I'm glad I recommended

the Jasmine Dragon Pearl Green Tea because they seemed to really like it. They did. They did. I also was pleased that you poisoned it because now they're all dead. That's how you do it. They did. They did. I also was pleased that you poisoned it, because now they're all dead. That's how you do it. We start our shows creepily. Listen,

they invaded our territory. That's true. That's all true. Anything I've learned, all I need to know about territory from watching Breaking Bad. Exactly. Everything I need to know, I learned from that show. Everything. Yep, everything. So I'm good to go.

Now we just need something to sell. I don't know. Humor. We lack that. We have a very small quantity of that. Okay, what if we sold... That is a very scarce resource. It is.

It's a very scarce resource. This is a very scarce resource. It is. It's a very scarce resource. Uh, what if we sold something that everybody needs, but nobody realizes? Like, all they did was bottle water, and they got a fortune. Oh, that's true. Okay, what do people need?

Food, water, shelter. Air. Air. What if we sell air? already sell like air for your tires We'll sell people air They do have those like oxygen bars Have you ever seen those Those weird me outs I don't understand them

Especially when they're like flavored oxygen I know How do you flavor oxygen Seems like they just use chemicals That's what I'm thinking it's probably like if you get your car cleaned on the inside professionally, they always are like, hey, you want us to

spray some, like, new car scent? And you're like, um, maybe? And they're like, there you go. New car scent, that smell when you get a new car is the same thing when you get, like, a new t-shirt, like a brand new fresh printed t-shirt smell when you get a new car, is the same thing when you get a new t-shirt, like a brand new fresh printed t-shirt, or you get a book and you open it for the first time,

or any kind of plastic packaging and you open it for the first time. That's chemicals. That's not good for you, smell. That's like your brain is melting. That is your brain is melting orange. That's what it's called. Your brain is melting orange. Makes sense. Makes sense. Have you kids tried your brain is melting orange. That's what it's called. Your brain is melting orange. Makes sense.

Makes sense. You kids tried your brain is melting orange. It now comes with a free pack of Wrigley Chew. Wrigley Chew. Oh, wait. No, it's that package gum. Yeah, isn't it called like Big League or something? Do you have to change the name?

Yeah, Big League Chew. Big League Chew, yeah. And basically it was chaw, but bubble gum. Muckless tobacco. Whatever. chaw, but bubblegum. Muckless tobacco. What, it was chaw. Prepare them to be, and they put it in their lips and kids would be like, look at me, I'm a baseball player, I'm spitting in a cup. And then it just evolves and then they got a nicotine addiction.

And then they have to amputate their jaw. Just like old man Wilford. He'd yell at us to get off his lawn, but he can't talk. Hey, hey, go. I like how we're making fun of something horrible. Just horrible. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. We got off to a good start. We are.

We are off to a good start. So how was your weekend? Did you do anything exciting this weekend? I think I watched Pawn Stars. And didn't do that much. That is really sad. It was really cold. It was really cold here.

It's like 10 degrees. I was counting on you to do something this weekend. This weekend, I sat around watching Storage Wars. I want to point out for the record that even though I know that's fake now because we did that story, I sat there and watched it and was still just like, yeah, kind of the best show ever. I watched Storage Wars 2. Right? You can't not watch it.

And they had one episode where they find a storage unit and inside of it, they find like half a car part, right? And so Barry's like, I'm just going to keep looking. Maybe there are other car parts. And in random places hidden throughout this thing are car parts.

Until he can finally complete, like, an engine block. And it hit me. This is one of those episodes where they fixed it so that there was something in there. Because no one who owns a storage unit hides car parts within a storage unit. Like, one was in the back and one's under stuff. No one does that. I know. Okay, that's silly.

I still watched it and loved it. It's true. And now that I know that whatever her name is, the woman on the show had massive breast augmentation, I can't stop staring at those either. Not that I wasn't before, but now I'm like, they're fake and glorious.

Also, it was like a marathon, so they had old episodes on, and they did a little plastic surgery taking off the pounds on that. Her legs went from like legs to like, boom! Suddenly she gained a butt. It was amazing. So, I guess that's, when you have money, I guess that's what you can do.

So... Gain an odd M-curve. Internet. Money, please. Look, I'm just saying I want a really nice ass. That's a great quote. For the film stone. The guy that just puts on the quotes, he's just like, what the hell? I don't even know what this one means. I mean, I guess we all want a really nice ass.

Yeah, but I do more than anything Or, you know who else wants a nice ass? People that ride donkeys Okay, okay, okay So before we started today Krendor started telling me about his father's bad jokes And how they're very Not bad, they're just

No, they're bad I jokes and how they're very bad they're just very bad no they're bad i'm sorry they're bad and so and so that joke you just told me i feel like you that you are an apple that does not fall far from the tree that was a dad joke would you like to regale us with one of your father's amazing jokes really quick do Do you know that Abraham Lincoln was Jewish? Why is that? Because he was shot in the temple. Wow! That

is awful. Wait, wait. That is borderline offensive and awful. I thought it was funny. I actually liked it, that one. Because it's like he got shot in the head and there's like a

I'm well aware of how bad that is. Don't you worry. Don't you worry. I know. Wow. It's great.'t you worry. I know. Wow. It's great. There you go. There you go.

Alright, well, I guess that is an excellent time to move on to Chapter 7 of the Scab. Grendor, how's that traffic out there? Today, it's I guess it's okay. Kind of tired. I'm kind of tired. I'm just kind of looking at the scenery.

It's actually really nice up here. I see a lot of trees. Uh, there's the lake. I mean, the lake's kind of cool, too. You just watch the waves. It's just really relaxing. And then... That was your plane crashing.

Plane, helicopter, whatever. Look. The plane copter. The plane copter. It's a chopter copter. It's a motorcycle copter. Chopter copter. You fell asleep and you died.

The end. Podcast over. The end. Thanks for listening. See you next week. Or tomorrow. On this very sad episode, Grendor dies. All right, now let's go over to the weather desk.

Grendor, how's that weather out there? Weather day is pretty good. We're going to go down to Rarden, Ohio. Rarden? Rarden. Okay, Rarden, Ohio. Home of the Wildcats. There's Wildcats everywhere. I can't go wrong with that one. Wildcats? Go R the Wildcats. There's Wildcats everywhere. I can't go wrong

with that one. Wildcats? Go, Rarden Wildcats. Well, it's 14 degrees today. Nine mile visibility. 48% humidity. And the pressure is 30.2 inches. I don't know what that means. I don't either.

Let's take a look at some tweets. That's the fun part. Lauren Chansey says, Please snow really hard so I don't have Let's take a look at some tweets That's the fun part Lauren Chansey says Please snow really hard so I don't have to get up tomorrow She's wishing for death? Is that what that is? Please snow and cave in on me I do not wish to awake Alright then crazy

Paige Davis says I miss having snow days and staying up late And walking in the snow with my old friends. Hashtag memories. Hashtag I'm now alone. Take that, Paige Davis. I don't even know how I said that. Addie Gray says, it's too cold outside for angels to fly.

What the hell does that even mean? to fly. What the hell does that even mean? Well, Addy Gray, I don't think you know a lot because angel wings can easily fly through snow. I was gonna say, alright, first off, without even having a discussion whether angels are a real thing or not, if angels did exist,

given the property stated in biblical text, you would think that they'd be able to freaking fly in snow. You would think so. They wouldn't be like, oh man it's too cold out here. It's like saying like, it's so cold aliens couldn't fly their saucers. No, I'm pretty sure if you believe in aliens

that they can travel from other galaxies and star systems, they could probably handle snow! They don't have that on their planet, they just get here and they're just like what is, what is this? They freeze to death. What is this? They were underpowered! They humans! They humans! They like, they have like the craziest Like, what is this? They freeze to death. What is this? They were underpowered. They come and... They come and...

They have, like, the craziest technology ever, and then they just enter our solar system, and it's cold, and, like, their skin isn't used to it, and it just freezes instantaneously. Their ships are brittle and just crumble apart. Their ships, strangely enough, are made of chocolate.

Which is the key resource on their planet. Yep, that's their gold. They come here to eat ours. They love gold. It's delicious to them. Which is chocolate. Which is the key resource on their planet. That's their gold. They come here to eat ours. They love gold. It's delicious to them. Which is chocolate. Which is space chocolate. Gold is space chocolate.

Don't question it. That's the secret of life. It's true. All right. Well, then, now I guess we go to sports. What are we doing with sports today? Great. It's sports news.

Over the weekend, Ravens won. I saw. Jacoby Jones going to the Super Bowl. We picked him, didn't we? Our very first episode, we said Jacoby Jones. We did. Jacoby Jones. It's really Jacoby Jones versus the 49ers.

I mean, that's what it comes down to. It is. And I'm rooting for Jacoby Jones to win that one. If Jacoby Jones wins, I feel like we're justified in being the best podcast ever made. And we deserve our own segment on SportsCenter because of how good we are. We picked it. We picked it from day one. Mind you, it was three-fourths of the way through the season, but we picked it.

And that's all that matters. And then the Sacramento Kings will be moving to Seattle next season. And what will they be? The Seattle Kings? I think they're going back to the Sonics. But no one liked the Sonics anyway. Well, they're going to come back. Great.

Well, terrific. Way to waste your money seattle well apparently the new ownership group led by chris hansen and steve ball well chris hansen from dateline nbc i don't know it just says chris i feel like this is all an elaborate setup to trap a predator there's some guys gonna show up to the locker room like hey hey, I'm here to see Teresa. And then Chris Hansen is going to appear and be like, we spent $18 billion. We got you. He's like, what?

He's like, sit down, have some iced tea. And then Steve Ballmer is just like, I'm going to buy the Sodex. Steve Ballmer is the actor playing the little girl. Oh. I'm just doing laundry. I'll be out in a minute. All right, I'll wait out here with my rope. Those are always, those are seriously always the weirdest.

Like, the Catcher Predators are always so creepy because when they go into the guy's car, there's always, like, tape and rope in there. Yeah. Like, there's never a a predator who's just like I'm out to get laid Like look I'm really hard up And this like 15 year old girl's into me So look you know what this is a low point in my life

It's always the guys who are like I'm gonna kidnap her It says a lot Look I don't want to call pedophiles crazy but they're nuts Crazy nuts A new serial coming to you Yes Okay well then let's get to our big story of the day Okay Crazy nuts. Crazy nuts. Crazy nuts. Crazy nuts. A new cereal coming to you. Yes.

Okay, well, then let's get to our big story of the day. Okay. Big story of the day is why do people like cute things? I don't know. Exactly. Ever reacted to the sight of a cute puppy or infant by squealing, I want to eat you up. Or maybe you can't help but want to pinch your grandbaby's adorable cheeks.

You're not alone. New research finds that seemingly strange aggressive responses to cuteness are actually the norm. In fact, people not only verbalize these aggressive desires with phrases like I just wanna squeeze something, they also really do act them out. In the study presented Friday here at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology,

researchers found that people watching a slideshow of adorable pictures popped more bubbles on a sheet of bubble wrap than did people viewing funny or neutral pictures. What? What kind of test is that? How do you quantify any of that? So they just popped, they gave them bubble wrap and said if you see them in a cute poppet? Or did they just give them bubble wrap and let them pop it?

They probably just walked in and then they were like, here's some bubble wrap. And they were like, whoa. Really, all that says is that people who like cute stuff are just really easily entertained. It really doesn't tell you anything about this study. If you like cute stuff, just really easily entertained. It really doesn't tell you anything about this study.

If you like cute stuff, it means you just like to, like, poke crap and make it pop. Like, oh, it pops! Yay! They probably weren't even looking at the pictures. They were just like, bubble wrap! I guess, I don't... So, so, what?

This is... The more bubble wrap they pop, the, I don't, I don't understand what this study means. I don't really either. But they said, we think it's about high positive effect and approach orientation and almost sense of lost control, said study researcher Rebecca Dyer, a graduate student in psychology at Yale. You know, you can't stand it if you can't handle it. That kind of thing. What the hell does that mean? That is an amazing phrase. You can't stand it if you can't handle it.

What? That kind of thing. What the balls does that mean? What does that mean? Hold on, hold on. We have to figure this out. You can't stand it if you can't handle it. No, she says, you know, you can't stand it, you can't handle it.

That kind of thing. Oh, okay. Well, so she's saying you can't stand the cuteness? That's it, you can't stand the cuteness? That's what you can't handle, the cuteness? Like, the cuteness overwhelms you? I think so. Then how does that reflect on you popping bubbles? I don't know.

Maybe they... Okay, let's... Dyer got interested in what she and her colleagues called cute aggression after chatting with a fellow student about How adorable internet pictures often produce the desire to squish or squeeze the cute critter all the existing research on cuteness suggests the reaction? All they want to squeeze the bubbles it's like the critter. Oh, oh that is creepy though That's pretty that is a thing. Like, if you see something really cute, you're like, oh! I just want to hug it! Like that?

Yeah. And that's, like, borderline I want to squeeze it to death. Why is that? I don't know. Then they said, uh, people should want to treat a cute thing with gentleness and care.

And indeed, Dyer said, it's not as though people really want to hurt a basket full of kittens when they see the fur balls stumbling all over one another. We don't have a bunch of budding sociopaths in our society that you have to worry about, she said. But something odd seemed to be going on. So the researchers first ran an experiment to see if cuteness aggression was a real phenomenon. They recruited 109 participants online to look at pictures of cute, funny, or neutral animals. A cute animal might be a fluffy puppy, while a funny animal can be a dog with its head out a car window. Jowls flapping. The neutral animal might be an older dog with a serious expression the participants rated the pictures

on cuteness and funniness as well as on how much they felt the pictures made them lose control for example if they agreed with the statement such as i can't handle it the participants also rated the extent to which the pictures made them want to say something like grrr and want to squeeze something. Sure enough, the cuter the animal, the less control and more desire to grrr and squeeze something that people felt. Cute animals produced this feeling significantly more strongly than did funny animals. The funny critters, in return, produced the feelings more strongly than did funny animals. The funny critters, in return, produced the feelings more strongly

than did neutral animals, perhaps because the funny animals were perceived as cute too. Still, those results could have merely identified a verbal expression for cuteness rather than a real feeling. So Dreyer and her colleagues asked 90 female and male volunteers

to come to a psych laboratory and view a slideshow of cute, funny, neutral animals. Researchers told the participants that this was a study of motor activity and memory and then gave the subject sheets of bubble wrap. The participants were instructed to pop as many or as few bubbles as they wanted, just as long as they were doing something involving motion. In fact, the researchers really wanted to know if people would respond to cute animals with an outward display of aggression, popping more bubbles, compared to people looking at

neutral or funny animals. That's exactly what happened. The people watching a cute slideshow popped 120 bubbles on average, compared with the 80 for the funny and just a hair over 100 for the neutral one. Dyer said she and her colleagues aren't yet sure why cuteness seems to trigger expressions of aggression, even relatively harmless ones. It's possible that seeing a wide-eyed baby or roly-poly pup triggers our drive to care for that creature. But since the animal is just a picture and since even in real

life we might not be able to care for the creature as much as we want. This urge may be frustrated, she said. That frustration could lead to aggression. Oh! I get it now! So, because you can't be all like, oh, I love you little baby, I'm gonna take care of you, because just a picture like,

I wanna take care of that baby, I'll kill you! It makes sense. It makes sense. It makes sense. It makes so much sense. And alternatively, people could be trying so hard not to hurt the animal that they actually do so, much as a child wanting to care for a cat might squeeze it too tightly and get scratched. Or the reason might not be specific to cuteness, Dyer said. Many overwhelmingly positive emotions look negative, as when Miss America sobs while receiving her crown.

Such high levels of positive emotion may overwhelm people. It might be that how we deal with high positive emotions. Is there violence? Is there murder? Apparently murder is amazing. Apparently murder is amazing. Well, Dyer said it might be that how we deal with high positive emotions sort of give it a negative pitch somehow. That sort of regulates, keep us level, and releases that energy.

So we get so happy we have to release our energy in some way, and so the way we release it is by, like, I want to kill what is cute. I guess the top comment is, I will hug him and love him and squeeze him and call him George. Which way did it go, George? Which way did it go? Will you let me tend the rabbits, George? He ends up killing one. Oh, and a girl.

And he does murder a girl. And then he gets shot in the back of the head. We just ruined of mice and men for you. If you didn't read it, then you probably weren't in ninth grade. Yeah, you clearly weren't in ninth grade, so you missed out. Yeah. But at least we learned that cute things are in danger. Yeah.

So if you're cute, hide. If you're particularly cute, not hot. If you're hot, you're fine. Society accepts you. And if you're so super cute, you're in trouble. Real trouble. Damn. I'm in trouble. No. No, you're good. You're good, buddy. You're in trouble. Real trouble. Damn. I'm in trouble.

No. No, you're good. You're good, buddy. You're okay. Any cuteness factor was lost on that Lincoln joke. That's a great joke. I liked it. Got shot in the temple.

Boo. That's it, guys. Thank you for listening, and we will be back tomorrow. So stay tuned, and as always, Woo! Something hot chocolate.