Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Tuesday, January 8th 2013

Episode Date: January 8, 2013

Today the boys learn what makes comedy funny, or at least try to figure out why everyone is laughing at them, not with them. Also Jesse ate some bad chowder and RG4 is back again to make Jesse laugh s...o hard he nearly dies. Oh, and news n' stuff.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recorded! Wake your ass up! It's Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome. It's Tuesday. Up and up, next friend, and in the morning! Up and up, next friend, and in the morning!
Starting point is 00:00:28 Hello there, everybody. Welcome. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday, number Tuesday. It's number Tuesday. Hashtag number Tuesday. Yeah. That's a good one, I think. It is a pretty good one. I am feeling horrible today. Oh. Holy crappily. Do tell. a pretty good one i am feeling horrible today oh holy crabbly do too uh i will i'm setting it up
Starting point is 00:00:51 for a story okay so uh yesterday i was working on a like craft show for a dear friend of ours and she was like hey come be a part of this show. I was like, all right, sure. I'll make crafts. You know, I'm good at that. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's making crafts. Of course. In fact, calling it making crafts probably proves how bad I am. I'm really good at, like, making the crafts. I just kind of, like, make them.
Starting point is 00:01:19 It sounds like I'm a cheese creator. I make the craft. Now I want a grilled cheese sandwich. I had one today. Again. Son of a... Oh, hold on. We have to go on a tangent before we talk about how sick I am.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Okay. Crendor, the other day, showed me this YouTube chef. And he was like, Today I'm going to teach you how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. It wasn't the Swedish chef. It was Chef John. He's all the Swedish chef, it was Chef John. He's all like, hello, I'm Chef John, and I'm going to teach you how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. My voice is still more accurate, I think. Hello there, I'm going to teach you
Starting point is 00:01:58 how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Well, what you do is you take the grilled cheese, but normally people are like, oh, I got a grilled cheese, and they eat it. But no, that's not how you do it. What you do... Really? That's not? Okay. So, a lot of people, they'll butter the pan, then they put the sandwich in, and then they butter one side of the bread, so when you flip the thing over,
Starting point is 00:02:18 then you get more buttered bread, but that's not how you do it. You butter the pan, you put the bread in, then you take it out, you. You butter the pan, you put the bread in. Then, you take it out, you butter the pan again, then you put the other side there, because it makes more sense. Then you get an even buttering on each side. Then, uh, the cheese is already in the bread,
Starting point is 00:02:34 by the way. Then, you... It's shredded. It's shredded, too. Like, this is the most over-the-top, like, why you would do this to a grilled cheese, you don't know, but apparently Crandor swears by it. Yes. So it's because it melts better.
Starting point is 00:02:48 So use the shredded cheddar cheese. It has to be cheddar. Can't be American because American's not cheese. And then just like the people here. I don't know. American cheese is delicious. American cheese is very accurate because it's fake just like the people. Could be delicious because American cheese is delicious as well anyway you you do that and then you're like okay so the cheese is melted on site on the inside it's like a normal grilled cheese but wait uh-huh i'm waiting you take it out
Starting point is 00:03:17 of the pan you butter the pan again and then you put on more cheese on top of it and then you flip that onto the pan so the cheese and the butter meet and then you're more cheese on top of it, and then you flip that onto the pan so the cheese and the butter meet, and then you're putting cheese on the top piece of bread. Let me reiterate. Let me reiterate. You turn down the heat, then you take extra cheese and put it on top of the outside of the sandwich. Yes, and then you do that to the other side. And so when you're done, you have a grilled cheese, but there's also cheese on the top and bottom of the sandwich.
Starting point is 00:03:48 So it's like a crunchy cheese layer. Yes. And I've made that two days in a row, and it may be the greatest thing ever. Anyway, so yeah, that was our little tangent on that. So if you want to make that, I guess just look up Chef John. It's one of his most popular videos. Mm-hmm. The dude's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:04:05 He's like, so I teach you how to make grilled cheese. That may or may not be accurate. I don't know. May or may not. Where are we going? Oh, yeah, you were sick. So, yeah, so I was making the crafts. And after we were done, because you know how things are in the Hollywoods. Everything
Starting point is 00:04:26 has a budget and most of that money doesn't actually end up going to what it's supposed to go to. So people were like, hey, why don't we order lunch? Like, alright, sounds good to me. And then of course everyone there is like, let's go order from that vegan veggie restaurant.
Starting point is 00:04:43 I'm like, whatever. Sure, okay. And so it was like this. I'm trying to remember what the name of it is, but it's like green love. You know, one of those things. Yes. And green love sounds like an alien porno. So what happened is we got the menu online and I was looking through all the different things, and it was just tofu curry mixed with a frothy aioli of beans and red sauce.
Starting point is 00:05:12 I'm like, I don't know what this is. But I decided to go with a chipotle chicken sandwich, which was probably my bad mistake anyway, considering it was like everything there was veggie. I was like, I'll get the chicken sandwich. And it was like, well, do you want soup? Or do you want a salad? Or do you want red skin potatoes?
Starting point is 00:05:35 And I was like, well, I don't want potatoes. And my only other choices then are soup and salad. And I never understood why you would get a sandwich and a salad. It doesn't feel like that goes together for me. Does that make any sense? Am I a crazy person? I think soup and a sandwich goes together.
Starting point is 00:05:49 It's the best choice. That's the best choice. So I was like, well, I guess I'll get the soup. And they're like, well, they only have one soup. It's a daily special. I'm like, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's fine. The soup is a, like, corn chowder. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Cool story. A guy I used to raid with lived in Boston. He called everyone chowder heads. You're a chowder head. He's like a stupid child So so I get this food and it tastes delicious Oh, and I ordered the sandwich on a baguette my theory here was that I would eat the middle of the sandwich like like a Salad then use the bread for the baguette and dip it in the soup Mm-hmm it was gonna work out wonderfully so I get it all and the corn soup the baguette and dip it in the soup. It was going to work out wonderfully.
Starting point is 00:06:25 So I get it all. And the corn soup is like super thick. And like chunks of like corn in it. And I was like, oh, this is going to be so good. And at the time, it was quite delicious. Six hours later, I was like in the most like stomach pain I've ever been in my entire life. I was like, oh, why? why did i eat that i don't even know and it lasted all day and i i don't know how your body works but i'm pretty sure it's
Starting point is 00:06:54 connected it probably was like a cream soup so maybe it got left out too long. Let me turn on the old man switch. I turned it on. What are you going to do? You have the chowder. You don't leave it out for too long. You're going to get sick. There's cream soups. You don't want to leave cream soups out.
Starting point is 00:07:18 What are you doing? Leaving the cream soup out? When you eat cream soup after it's been left out for too long, you're going gonna get sick. You're just an idiot. No one else got sick, so my thought process is, I'm so used to fake food, that real food
Starting point is 00:07:34 messes with my body. It's like, whoa, whoa, hold up. What is this? Whoa. Whoa, buddy. What have we got here? There's nothing here that is used to make yoga mats. So we are off to a bad start, friend. I expect to get you exercise.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Well, you should have made ginger tea. I should have. But we were recording. And I was like, quick nosh for our lunch break, guys. Made a mistake. Made a mistake of listening to other people. Thank you, old man. That's what you get for
Starting point is 00:08:13 listening to people. You gotta live your life. You gotta live your life. You and Rihanna. By the way, what's the name of the elf book again? Did we come up with a name? I don't think so. I feel like...
Starting point is 00:08:29 Because I was going to start writing it, and then I was like, wait, what's the name of it? I feel like it melded together with Guy Hero. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, so I'm not sure. Well, it needs, like, that'll be, like, the first book of our lore. And then the rest of it goes into Guy Hero's story. This is like the start of Guy Hero. He kind of just randomly appears and nobody knows why.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Guy Hero begins. What? Guy Hero egins? No, Guy Hero begins. Oh. I was going to be like, why does it say that? Guy Hero egins? What the hell does that mean?
Starting point is 00:09:04 I thought you didn't say the B for some reason Guy Hero Egan's I don't like B's Guy Hero Egan's That's what it's called now That's it, that's the title now People are like wow It'll just say right under it in small print
Starting point is 00:09:21 Guy Hero hates the letter B So people know. You're just helping them. Yes. Right? If anything, you're a helpful author. I also went to the bookstore today, and I read a book. I like how that's your, like, I went to the bookstore, and then I read a book.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Like, wow. Well, when I go to the bookstore, I don't buy anything. I just look at the books and read it like a library. And then if I see any books, I take pictures of them and go buy them on Amazon for half the price. You're the reason why independent booksellers are disappearing. But they're cheap on Amazon. Right? Amazon Prime.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I was actually listening to, I think there's a great show called On Point that I started listening to ever since they were talking about like net neutrality and stuff back in the day. And now I just download it as a podcast. It's great. But they did have an episode one time where it was, he brings on people to talk, you know, about important issues of the day. And one of them was Amazon versus small book sellers. And he had a bunch of small book sellers and then like one of the people who is the heads of Amazon on.
Starting point is 00:10:29 And all the small booksellers were like so angry and mad and like, we can't succeed. And the guy was like, I don't know what you want me to do about it. We sell the books at the exact same price you guys do. We're just, because we offer free shipping on things, it's just more convenient for people. And they're like, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll. Why won't people come visit our stores anymore? He's like, you probably should ask yourselves that question. It's true.
Starting point is 00:10:58 They need to add something to make their store. It needs to be an experience. And that's actually one of the final guests he had on was this woman who runs one of the most successful bookstores, I think, in Chicago. And it's a bookstore, but it's less a bookstore and more like of an event thing. So they have authors and they have signings, they have book readings and they have community events. So people have a reason to go to the store and then they buy books while they're there. And it's a genius concept because you can't get that from Amazon. And so she was like,
Starting point is 00:11:35 maybe people should just sort of think about their business more instead of just having a room full of books. I was like, Oh, book slam. Cause otherwise it's just like a library. Right? Like you could just go, like the only difference with the library is like the library doesn't have a coffee shop. Which every library should just build like a Starbucks in it. And then it's just a bookstore.
Starting point is 00:11:57 If libraries had Starbucks, they would become the most popular thing. They would. Did you go to the library today? Yeah, I got my milk-a-latte. Did you go to the library? I didn't even know that you could get books for free. Books for free? You don't even have to pay? Like, no, you just have to sign up for this little card. It's great.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Oh my god, I have a great story. So I went to Walgreens. I went to Walgreens tonight. This has like nothing to do with what we were talking about. I figured. But, so, I went to Walgreens tonight. This has, like, nothing to do with what we were talking about. I figured. But, so, I went to, actually, let's rewind it a little bit. I went to Walgreens a week ago. I go to Walgreens. I buy my thing that I needed.
Starting point is 00:12:35 I bought Carmex for my lips because they're chapped. It's cold outside and dry. And so he gave me change, and he gave me a two dollar bill and i looked up if it was like legit and they were just like you got to save that because one day it'll probably just be more worth it than actually spending no no it won't two dollar bills are still two dollar bills always but anyway the guy gave me it was this pakistani, and he just looked really sad, and he had a cold. And so... What?
Starting point is 00:13:08 Okay. And so a week later, today, I go to Walgreens, and I check out again, and I notice that every 30 seconds on the thing they're playing music on, where it's like... Where it's just, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, where it's, like, just, like, store music, it'll pause and be like, welcome to Walgreens. And then after, like, a while of hearing that, I was like, I would probably go mentally insane if I had to be in the store all day hearing,
Starting point is 00:13:39 welcome to Walgreens, every, like, ten seconds. And then... So are you attributing that to the reason why a guy would give you a $2 bill? No, he just looked really sad. And then I go check out again. It's the same guy. And he just, he didn't look like he had a cold this time. He just looked really depressed.
Starting point is 00:13:58 And then he checked me out again. And I was like, how often do you have to hear that welcome to Walgreens thing? And he was like, how often do you have to hear that welcome to Walgreens thing? And he was like, too often. What the hell did that have to do with anything? I don't know. I just thought it was funny. And I wouldn't want to work at Walgreens. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:14:19 That was the stupidest story I've ever heard. I thought I've told stupider stories. But that out-stupided them. Oh. Well, now you know. I do. I know, which is really sad. Oh, good. Oh, so I looked into phone answering
Starting point is 00:14:39 services, and I think there's a thing called eVoice, where you can set up a voicemail system and so people can call in and we can get access to people's voicemails. So if you listened yesterday, that may be a thing. Oh my god. That'd be amazing. I had another dream by the way.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Uh huh. So it's actually kind of weird. I was in a Walgreens and this Pakistani guy gave me two dollars. And then I realized it was real. Oh, my God. Unless I'm still dreaming. Wow.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Imaginary thought walrus. So I woke up, and I had this dream. I was like, oh, my God, where's my phone? And I got my phone, and I wrote down turkey acting roles and trip. What? And then I had to think about it for a while and then i remembered because turkey acting roles and trip because what happened was i was in the country of turkey and it was like me and possibly you and like other youtube people were there. And we were in Turkey for some reason.
Starting point is 00:15:46 I assume I was looking for Thanksgiving dinner. Possibly. I assume that's why I was there. Like, where's Thanksgiving? That would be the greatest picture ever. You just sitting in Turkey. It's like, where's Thanksgiving? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:16:03 I want that as a Christmas card. I want to have a picture of that and just send that to people. Merry Thanksgiving from Turkey. People get the card and they're just like, what the hell is this? But anyway, I was in the Turkish airport and I don't even know why. The Turkish, that's what it's called, the Turkish airport. the Turkish airport, and I don't even know why. The Turkish. That's what it's called. The Turkish airport. The Turkish airport.
Starting point is 00:16:29 And we were just, like, sitting there, and we were like, we got to leave soon. We got to catch this plane. And then I had to go to the bathroom to charge my laptop, and I was charging my laptop in the bathroom for some reason. And now that I think about it, it was the bathroom for my elementary school. The best part is all the urinals and everything are, like, down to your knees. And now that I think about it, it was the bathroom for my elementary school. The best part is all the urinals and everything are like down to your knees. Yeah. You're sitting there trying to charge your laptop.
Starting point is 00:16:53 It makes sense. And then some woman walked in and she was just like, well, you can't be here. Because you're in a children's bathroom, sir. Well, I was going to be like, well, you're a woman in the guy's bathroom. You can't be here. But then I was dreaming, so I don't know what was going on. So I left, and then I woke up, and then I wrote this down, and I fell back asleep, and it shifted the dream. And then I was in Thailand, and you were there, and Ro was there,
Starting point is 00:17:23 and some other people were there, and Husky was there. And Husky said that his friend made amazing chili. And then we went to visit his friend who made amazing chili. And then we ended up in some Thailand hotel with, like, waterfalls. And then I woke up. This would be one of those dreams that I would skip Because I don't think it makes any sense It probably doesn't It's probably just because we did the weather in Thailand
Starting point is 00:17:50 I wonder what the chili symbolizes I don't know Dream dictionary Chili Here it is This is from some random website Looks like it's made in the 90s Okay
Starting point is 00:18:01 To see or cook chili in your dream is unlucky It means What? It's made in the 90s. Okay. To see or cook chili in your dream is unlucky. It means you'll see others obtain the object for which you have been striving for. If you ate chili in your dream, you are getting to the heart of a matter that has been troubling you. Wow. Did you eat the chili? I didn't. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Oh, that's bad news. Do not, do not go to Thailand, especially with me. I don't want your bad chili luck. But this website says to dream of eating chili indicates that you possess primal and basic feelings. Perhaps you are getting in touch with fantasy. But you didn't eat it. You didn't eat it. It was just made. Damn.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Bad luck chili. Has Damn. Bad luck chili. Hashtag bad luck chili. Oh, damn. That sucks for you, man. You're going to have that bad luck chili. Hopefully I'll have a good dream tonight where I'm like reversing. You're just eating all. It's like you and a vat of chili.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Just like, oh, so good. All right. Now let's go to Crendor in Chapter 7. Up in the sky. Crendor, how's that traffic out there? Everybody's driving to work today. That is so bad. Eating the Pepsi-Cola.
Starting point is 00:19:22 You hired the other guy, huh? I did. He's been hired, but he filled in today. A lot of people don't understand that we're a morning show. What? That we have to do all the segments of a morning show. Yeah. Was someone complaining to you? They were.
Starting point is 00:19:38 They were like, you guys should just talk about... They were like, you should get rid of the sports set. You should get rid of the traffic. Sometimes you should do... It's like, no, we're a morning show. We're a morning show should get rid of the sports. You should get rid of the traffic. Sometimes you should do something. It's like, no, we're a morning show. We're a morning show. That would go against the morning show rules. Then we'd just be a podcast.
Starting point is 00:19:53 That's stupid. I mean, that's dumb. That is dumb. So stupid. We are also a lot better than most people. I've seen some morning shows as of late that are pretty terrible, as well as podcasts that are pretty terrible we are we are somewhere above terrible yes yes that is what we take pride in yep we're above terrible yeah that's also another great name for a podcast the above terrible podcast then people know yeah they're like they know
Starting point is 00:20:24 they're getting they know what they're getting. They know what they're getting. I saw some woman on the local morning show, and she was all like, I'm back from New Year's, and I'm doing the traffic. She was all happy about it. We're just as good. We are. We're just as good.
Starting point is 00:20:39 I think we're even better. I think so, too. We are above terrible. And now let's go over to the weather. Grendor, how's that weather out there? Well, today's weather is going to be from Compton, Arizona. Compton, Arizona? Compton, Arizona.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Is that like the bizarro Compton? It's so very white here. It is. It's so very white here. It is. It's 29 degrees right now. It's 74% humidity. Calm winds later in the day. It's going to get up to 54 with some PM showers. Trending is snow, wind, and clear.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Let's check the local tweets. There's one. And it's Mr. Suave. And he says, Grind until sunshine. I think I know what that means. He has a picture with it. And it's a cup of coffee that says Maxwell House.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Yes. Oh, God, yes. See, that is the perfect amount of innuendo for a tweet. And his thing says, I'm here to express, not to impress. And his thing says, I'm here to express, not to impress. Oh, my God. That is lovely. This guy is amazing.
Starting point is 00:22:15 That is the single. I may have to follow him. That is the single best tweet I have ever heard in my entire life. And he's got a tweet that says, My mama still got my old toys, lol. And he's got, like, a Buick, like, toy truck with giant rims. From Compton, Arizona. Wow. That guy is amazing.
Starting point is 00:22:42 He's wonderful. All right. Now let's go over to sports at the sports desk. Grendor, how is that? Sports? Not much is happening aside from the Bucs parting ways with Coach Scott Skiles. What happened with the NCAA? What is going on there?
Starting point is 00:22:56 Oh, yeah. Crazy town. That giant bowl game happened where people were like, Notre Dame, Alabama. And then Notre Dame got blown out. Sorry, that's the end of that. People were really excited for it. And then Notre Dame got blown out. Sorry, that's the end of that. People were really excited for it. And then Alabama won 42-14. Oh, Notre Dame.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Which is their third BCS title in four years. So if you're looking to not get an education and just want your football team to be good, head on down to Alabama. Compton, Alabama. I wonder if there's a Compton in every state. Oh, I wonder. That's an every state. Oh, I wonder. That's an interesting question.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Oh, I also got some sad news. Greg Jennings is a free agent after this season, so he might have to leave the Packers. I will follow him wherever he goes. And sources say Miami Dolphins are considering a serious run at him. Well, it's going to be hard to catch him if they run at him. Because he's amazing. That's sports.
Starting point is 00:23:50 All right, now let's go to the big news story of the day. Big news story of the day. I spent time finding this one, and I think it is very, very relatable. It's from Psychology Today, and it says, Funny people Why our brains like to be tricked, teased, and tormented by humor I don't know if tricked and tormented is how I would describe humor I think that describes our show very well
Starting point is 00:24:17 Yes, tormented Can and should humor be explained once and for all? Taking a crack at the humor code. Okay. Trying to define humor is one of the definitions of humor. What? No, it's not. That's what Saul Steinberg said.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Oh, okay, Saul. What are you doing? Why are you laughing at my jokes? I don't get it. Steinberg, I make bagels at my bagel shop. Send your angry letters, Karam, at Wow Krendor. No, I am also an old Jewish man. That's true.
Starting point is 00:24:57 That's true. So, I mean, if anything, I... Yeah, legally, you can get away with it. I actually do really like bagels. So it's okay then. Alright, continue on, please. If Steinberg didn't need to define humor in order to use it beautifully, why should anyone else need to? It doesn't help for that millennia.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Philosophers, scientists, and entertainers have tried and failed to define exactly what makes things funny. Plato, Socrates, Freud, they all attempted to derive a persimonious set of principles that can explain humorous reactions to a wide range of situations, from puns to satire to tickling. Yet the complexity of humor has proved to be daunting. As fellow psychology today blogger Nina Strominger recently quipped, trying to come up with one true explanation for humor may be akin to trying to figure out the
Starting point is 00:25:49 one true function of oxytocin. What? Yes, of course. I mean, duh. Steinberg isn't the only successful humorist who believes there's no simple explanation for how they make their living. In a scene painfully captured in a scene painfully captured in wired magazine when red hot stand-up
Starting point is 00:26:09 comic louis ck was probed about comedy theories he snapped there are thousands of kinds of jokes i just don't believe that there's one explanation of course ck could just be protecting the sanctity of his craft there are a lot or he could be the most honest comic there ever was and be telling you that there is comedy. There's slapstick. There's absurd humor. There's humor that relates to like, oh, it's funny because it's true. There's so many different types of humor.
Starting point is 00:26:39 There are a lot of things that make stuff funny. It's like different types of food. Yeah, you can't synthesize. Humor is art. It's what makes the human condition worth living. Just like that delicious food. There's so many varieties for your palate.
Starting point is 00:26:55 It's like experiencing the world with your eyes anew every day. That's a quote for the Tombstone calendar. the Tombstone calendar. The Tombstone calendar. It'll be coming out soon. It's just every month is a different Tombstone.
Starting point is 00:27:12 The most morbid calendar. It'd be wonderful. But it'd make you laugh in the process. Right? Because it's true. Because it's your type of humor. Right? Get it?
Starting point is 00:27:24 Because we're talking about humor. It's like humor. We're just talking about type of humor. Right? Get it? Because we're talking about humor. It's like humor. We're just talking about types of humor. I don't follow. Oh, well, you probably just don't get your own humor. I don't. I don't get it. I don't get those two.
Starting point is 00:27:38 I learned about humor. The fun way of being like, hey, I'm going to make a video about types of people that do this type of thing. And then some people are like, wow, that's so funny. It's so relatable. I know those types of people. And then other people are like, it doesn't make any sense. You're just describing stereotypes of people in a weird way. That's what makes it funny.
Starting point is 00:27:55 And then those people might really like slapstick comedy where it's just like, I got pit in the head with a banana. And I'm just like, who cares? You got in there with a banana. That is kind of funny, though. Just a dude sitting there in a banana plant across the room and it's him. That's hilarious. Well, perhaps humor is one of those things that we are better off not dissecting.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Funny is funny. Let's leave it at that. Maybe Mullen, C.K. Steinberg, and all the others are right. Comedy works, so why bother poking around under its hood? Since it's bound to not get us very far anyways, maybe it's time to move on to other more serious subjects. Or maybe not! To assert that something about humor is too complex to be fully understood
Starting point is 00:28:37 does a grave disservice to the role that time and technological advances play in scientific discovery and innovation. Oh, shut up! Is this person really like, we can't take these comedians at their word. We must discover the source of all humor. This is a person who has never laughed once in their life. Like, I do not understand the concept.
Starting point is 00:28:54 He's like an android trying to understand humanity. RG3 does not understand humor. RG4. RG3 is dead. RG4. RG3 is dead. RG4. RG4 does not understand the appeal of a banana hitting a fellow human being in the face. Sometimes I wish I could relate to the human feelings. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Oh my god. That was way funnier than it should have been. Holy crap. That just brings me back to our Saints Row thing where we laughed at that guy's weird face. And then you're just like, dude, it's not that funny. It isn't. But it is too.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Oh, God, that's hilarious. Everybody just comment on this podcast in the SoundCloud or iTunes and whatever. It isn't, but it is too. Oh, God, that's hilarious. Everybody just comment on this podcast in the SoundCloud or iTunes and whatever. If you're on iTunes, just give us five stars and be like, dude, it's not that funny. Also, oh, by the way, for people who are using iTunes or SoundCloud or whatever, tell your friends who have Androids that we have an Android app specifically coming out just for our show. Oh. An amazing, like a fan made an Android.
Starting point is 00:30:34 He's like, oh, the apps for Android suck. And so I wanted to make you guys, like download specifically our podcast every day. It's an amazing thing. I, for one, would never do that because I don't have the ability to like do that but he did it so we're good exactly and so you'll have that i guess it's coming out soon ish so then we'll be everywhere we will have dominated the market that's our main goal dominate the markets that's why that's why we do what we do. This guy says everything that can be invented has been invented. It was what Charles Duell said at the Patent Office in 1899.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Had he locked up the Patent Office for good, we might not be blessed with things like scotch tape, the iPhone, and Thighmaster. might not be blessed with things like scotch tape, the iPhone, and Thighmaster. So what he's saying is, if we give up trying to figure out comedy, we're not going to ever find the reason behind comedy. Stupidest premise for an article I've ever heard of mine. We must discover the source of all comedy and kill it. That's what this guy's doing. This is his mad vision. But he says, humor doesn't just entertain.
Starting point is 00:31:48 It has many benefits that can be enhanced by understanding the psychology behind it. Humor plays an important role in helping people cope with pain, stress, and adversity, whether it be patients in a cancer ward or victims of the Holocaust. Humor also lubricates interpersonal interactions, easing the sting of criticism and helping people of disparate culture backgrounds get along. Finally, humor is an effective weapon of subversion that the masses can use to criticize their government while reducing the threat of retribution. Better understanding the intricacies of what makes things funny will prove fruitful in all of these realms and many more. Plus, successful comedians have nothing to worry about.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Even with the correct theory, not everyone will be able to crack zingers like Seinfeld or doodle comedic gems like Steinberg. Just because we understand the laws of physics doesn't mean that we can expertly defy it like snowboarder Sean White. Nevertheless, grasping those laws are beneficial in other ways. Again, this guy lacks all humor. He's like, I must discover it. That's probably what he made his life out to be when he was like seven years old
Starting point is 00:33:00 and people would be telling jokes and he didn't get them. He would be like, my goal is to discover what this feeling of laughter and happiness is like. He's like the Grinch. All the who's down in Whoville. Why do they laugh so? I will kill them. That's how that story went, right? And then he got really angry because they stole his green eggs and ham.
Starting point is 00:33:23 He would not eat them with the house. He would not eat them with a mouse. He would not eat them with a mouse. He would not eat them here or there. He wouldn't eat them anywhere. Speaking of anywhere, that's where you can listen to this podcast tomorrow because that's when we be back. That was a great segue. Raise the roof.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Yes, of expectation. I'm going to play this bottle. Coming back tomorrow, we'll be here. Me and Crandall have no fear. If you want to hear us the rest of the year, we'll be here for you. Whoopity dear. That was pretty good. Whoopity dear.
Starting point is 00:33:59 All right, that's it. Thank you guys for listening, and we will be back tomorrow bright and early for another exciting episode of Cox's Crandall in the Morning. That's it. To be continued.

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