Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox n' Crendor : The Nerdcast Special

Episode Date: January 17, 2014

Jesse and Crendor return for another episode that quickly goes off the rails before descending into a rant about Star Wars and Asian Tween Girls....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendog! This is Crendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning! Hello there, everybody. What's up, next Crendor in the morning? What's up, next Crendor in the morning?
Starting point is 00:00:27 Hello there, everybody. Welcome back to Cox and Crendor in the morning. Welcome back. It's a very wonderful day, whatever day it is. Thursday? Today is Thursday. Oh, my week. My week is just blended together.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I've been doing so... Oh, Crendor, I've been doing so much. Just so much. Do tell. For those who watch my YouTube channel, shameless promotion, you'll note that back at Christmas I bought my father a trip to Machu Picchu, because that's
Starting point is 00:00:55 one of his bucket list things, and I was like, hell, I'll go. So we're both going in May. We have to hike up an Incan trail, like 50 billion feet up into the mountains. Turns out, you need to be in like, super top shape to do that. Some little Incan boy walked that daily. Yeah, I mean, a little Incan kid could walk that in a heartbeat.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Like, ooh! Me not. That's right, that's right. That's what he does. He goes, la la la la la, and runs off. Nothing racist about that. Nothing. And, so, yeah, so I've been at the gym like two hours a day trying to do that.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I'm like, I just got to be able to get up a fucking mountain. So plus work, plus all this other BS that happens in life, just let me tell you, Crandor. And then today something crazy happened. What was it? I was coming back from the gym today And outside, like on the street of where I live You know where I live, it's very like secluded, quiet It is, it's where a lot of hippies and Jewish people live
Starting point is 00:02:00 Yes, old Jews, not the young ones The young ones are too cool for us Yeah What do you think? You're so cool. It's like my perfect place. It is. It's pretty great. And so, as I'm driving down the road, I see
Starting point is 00:02:13 what is no exaggeration, I think a thousand? I don't even know. Like, an entire army of little tween Asian girls. And they're just walking down the street. Mind you, it's like 10.30 at night. And I'm like, what is going on here?
Starting point is 00:02:33 What is happening? And I sort of have to drive through them like they're cattle because they're just in the road. I'm like, what is? I'm looking around. There's just so many. It was really weird. And so I park, and then I go upstairs, and I'm like, well, it's late, but I haven't had dinner yet.
Starting point is 00:02:49 I'm starving. Like you, I went on the internet because every now and again I go on the YouTubes and see guys cooking things, and I'm like, oh, that looks interesting. Exactly. I would like to make that. And so because I'm not a big, like, alone drinker, I'm not an alcoholic is what I'm saying. I'm only a social drinker. So I have alcohol for when people come over or I buy stuff for when people come over and then it just sits there after they leave.
Starting point is 00:03:13 I'm like, well, this is stupid. So I had red wine and I saw this guy make, like, a red wine steak thing. And I was like, I can do that because that's easy as balls. That's popular amongst the cooking community today, the red wine steak thing. Yeah, I mean, that's what it's called. And so I decide to make this and it's very quick and easy and I'm just like, I'm cooking. And I look out the window and there are still roughly a billion little tween girls standing in the street.
Starting point is 00:03:44 So it's like you are looking down at them, and they're just like, there's billions of them. It's like your Saruman looking down at the orcs. Yes, tweenish Asian orcs. You should have shouted out at them like, the age of man will end. Yes, that's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:04:07 And I don't know what the, I don't know what was happening. It at this point is 1120 at night and I'm done cooking all this stuff. I have taken a shower. They're still outside. I'm like, this is, this is borderline the strangest thing that I've ever experienced. I don't know if I'm finally really popular over in Asia And this is what it's like
Starting point is 00:04:29 Or One of those Korean pop stars Is staying in the area It was so weird Where's the line leading to? No it wasn't a line it was just like a mass of people A gathering Yeah it was like someone blew a horn.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Like an Asian tween horn. And they all showed up. They were like, we all ready. And I don't know why. And all of a sudden I hear like, talking outside? And I go back and they started moving. Like a giant herd away. And that was it.
Starting point is 00:05:02 That was the end. But you didn't hear a horn. I didn't hear a horn. I feel like the horn gathered them. So they were already together. Oh, okay. The horn was sounded before I even got there. I feel like once they all got... It's like calling the council, and they were waiting for the last member to get there. I get it.
Starting point is 00:05:15 The member got there, and then they were like, oh, well, now we can go. I get it. Yes. If I didn't have stuff to do, I would have followed them to figure out where they were going. Because you know wherever they're going, it's going to go down. Something's happening there. I just don't know what.
Starting point is 00:05:31 We need to find that. This is an interesting conundrum. That's what I'm saying. Where are they going? Internet, where do young Asian tweens go at midnight in L.A.? On a Wednesday. Is there a DDR tournament? I figure if this was 10 years ago, that would be the easy answer.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Maybe a League of Legends. But that would be... But I don't know which Asian country they're from. That's very... If they were Korean, I would have said, okay, maybe. But I don't... I feel like we need to find this out. I'm really curious now. That's what I'm saying., okay, maybe. But I don't... I feel like we need to find this out. I'm really curious now.
Starting point is 00:06:07 That's what I'm saying. It blew my mind. I was like, what are they doing? Why are there so many little Asian kids? And it wasn't like adults. They weren't... Sometimes... Did they not have supervisor adults?
Starting point is 00:06:19 No. Well, I don't know. God. Look, look, world, listen to this. We all know that at a certain point, no matter what age they are, most Asian women just stop aging and become some sort of perfect woman. That's true. When they hit puberty until, I don't know, like 60, they look roughly the same.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Like, there was one time Crenor and I were at a mall and we saw this daughter and her mom. They were like twins. Exactly like twins. They were gorgeous. One was like 40s, the other one was like 18. You couldn't tell. And they looked the same. And it's, you know, it's that weird Asian thing where
Starting point is 00:06:58 they look gorgeous until, I don't know, 60-something, and all of a sudden, like a switch. I think it's the green tea. Because I've been drinking green tea since about 17 years old, and I still look 17. I don't know if that's so good of a guy. Popular belief is that older men
Starting point is 00:07:20 are sexier than younger men. True fact. Yeah, well, once I hit 60, I'll get really, really old. Really, really fat. Your skin will fall off like Indiana Jones. You'll become the Crypt Keeper. I'll be like Bilbo Baggins
Starting point is 00:07:38 after he lost the ring. You'll be like, Welcome, boys and girls. Okay, so I googleds. Oh, okay. So I Googled Asian news where you live. Uh-huh. And. Remember, this is just girls.
Starting point is 00:07:53 There were no guys there. This is just Asian girls. I don't understand. Okay. What was out there? What was said? Would they go to the Pan-Asian Highway? What is that?
Starting point is 00:08:06 It's a cafe that serves Asian food. Alright. In LA, there are more Asian cafes that serve Asian food than anywhere else in the world, except maybe Asia. So I feel like
Starting point is 00:08:21 that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Maybe they were going to the Cheesecake Factory. Cheesecake Factory was closed when I was driving past it. So, oh, maybe they went there and there was, I don't know. Can I just say for the record, who goes to the Cheesecake Factory and then enjoys the Cheesecake Factory? I went there last, two weeks ago. I went there two weeks ago. We have to have listeners write in because here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:08:49 The Cheesecake Factory is the place you go where you want everyone to find something to eat but no one to be happy. I feel like it's not great food, but it's decent food. Like you can go there and open their Bible menu and open it and find something to eat. And it's a huge portion, like, 12,000 calories of just, like, mounds of food. But you're never, you're never like, man, that was really good. You're like, eh, I mean, I ate it. They give you a lot, though.
Starting point is 00:09:20 I mean, I ate it. They give you a lot, though. I know that when I went, they also gave you a skinny, skinny menu. And everything on the item is like skinny chips, skinny sandwich. All it is is the same food, but like an eighth of what they give you. Yeah. It's a very Crandor place to go because as an old man, you understand, eventually you just can't taste stuff anymore.
Starting point is 00:09:44 But if you get a lot of it, well, that's a deal. That's a deal is what that is. That's true, but I am, that's where my old man ends kind of, though, because I like quality food. Then why'd you go? Because I just wanted to go there. It was, all the people were dressed up. Why do people dress up to go to the Cheesecake Factory? Like, there's some people, they're like super fancy dressed up. I was in sweatpants.
Starting point is 00:10:06 No, there's a place where I used to live in Dayton, Ohio. I think it was called the Spaghetti Warehouse or Spaghetti Factory, something like that. And we would always, way back when, when I was in high school, I would have to beg my parents to go like, can we please go?
Starting point is 00:10:21 Can we please go? And it was downtown in downtown Dayton. It was so fancy. Meanwhile, Dayton, one of the white trash can we please go and it was downtown in downtown dayton it was so fancy meanwhile dayton one of the white trashiest places ever but it was really fancy though and we went there and oh how i loved it and it was so good but looking back i realized it's basically the cheesecake factory of noodles yeah i remember i went to that too and then it closed i just imagine some like old italian guy in a really big warehouse surrounded by spaghetti, and he's like, I have all the spaghetti in this warehouse. What am I going to do?
Starting point is 00:10:54 You're going to contact that guy who makes the videos online. He's like, I'll give you spaghetti if you give me the goat head. Yep, yep, that's what's going to happen. Oh, and in the Cheesecake Factory, did you know all the decorations look like the eye of Sauron? I just looked for it. Why do we keep going back to, holy shit, maybe the Cheesecake Factory was calling those kids. Mm-hmm. It's like when the Ring calls, like,
Starting point is 00:11:18 It's too good, there is no bother. Like when the Ring talks to Frodo and Bilbo? Yeah. Speaking of which, this is why I kept mentioning Lord of the Rings. Okay. I watched Lord of the Rings. Oh, you did? And I watched Star Wars.
Starting point is 00:11:33 At the same time? Did you waste an entire week of your life? I've watched both of those. All of them. You've made some good and bad choices. Okay. So I watched Lord of the Rings. I was like, all right. I've seen it all before. That's why I made So watch Lord of the Rings. I was like, alright,
Starting point is 00:11:45 I've seen it all before. That's why I made so many Lord of the Rings things. Did you watch the extended edition? Yes. Those are much better. I like the extended edition
Starting point is 00:11:53 of the Lord of the Rings movies. Yeah, it fills in the parts that don't make sense. Also... And you're like, oh, that's why they don't make sense. Yeah, they show Sauron
Starting point is 00:12:01 getting killed and they show the hobbits getting high, which is very important. It is. Very important to the story. Legalize it, hobbits. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:08 It's just a good movie. I figured I'd watch that because I also saw The Hobbit and that was really good. Did I say Sauron or Saruman? Look, the white wizard gets killed. Saruman's the white wizard, right? Yeah, they show him getting thrown off the thing. Yeah. Or falling off because he gets stabbed.
Starting point is 00:12:24 You had to give him the same name like, name as Sauron. Why couldn't he call him, like, Badolo? I don't understand. That's something I've always questioned. Why the two of them have such similar sounding names? Yeah. Like, come on. Come on, Tolkien, you're a writer.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Write a better name. This is Saruman. Like, just, like, it's Badolo, the white wizard. Lucas made names like Gorgon Florgonstorgan. Hell, he even made, he had to come up with a bad guy's name, so he named him Savage Murderer. But the name's like Savage Mother. Marie.
Starting point is 00:13:01 It's so stupid. We're going to get written what that guy's real name is, but it's just as dumb as what I said. And it's one of those things that's like, if Lucas can just bullshit names, Tolkien, you could have done that. Yeah. I'm just saying. Like Mount Doom. Come on. Mount Doom.
Starting point is 00:13:20 But here's the thing. Okay, yes. I haven't seen Star Wars since I was like seven years old. All of them? I think I saw like the episodes one through three when I was like eight or nine. Holy shit. Like it was a long time ago. You are a child.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Although I remember seeing them in high school, so. Yeah. I mean, that was a long time ago. But all right. Exactly. So I got them all on Blu-ray. There's your first mistake. The Blu-ray ones make all the changes to the old ones.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Don't do that. I do not own any Star Wars Blu-ray or DVDs. I have Star Wars. You went through my stuff. I have Star Wars on VHS. I refuse to accept changes to the classics. I looked at all the reviews of it on Amazon. Half of them are like one star and half of them are five stars.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Yeah, because... The one stars are just like, it's ruined. Guys, it is ruined. I want to tell you something. The scene at the end of Return of the Jedi where Vader lifts the Emperor above his head and chucks him down the shaft. Spoiler, by the way. Like, 30-year-old spoiler.
Starting point is 00:14:26 And he chucks him down the shaft. Spoiler, by the way. 30-year-old spoiler. And he chucks him down the shaft. In the original, the way you could tell that he was emotionally suffering because he was behind a mask is he sees the Emperor electrocuting his son, and his son's like, Father! Help me! And he's getting all shocked, and the music swells, and Vader does a look at his son, then a look
Starting point is 00:14:42 at the Emperor, then a look at his son again, and then he lifts the Emperor up and chucks him. And you're like, oh, see, there was a man behind the mask, right? In the new one, because Lucas is, I want to say, just stupid as shit. I think he's just really bored. It's one of those things where you hear artists and masters of writers, and they keep saying, like, if you keep going back to it and trying to perfect it, it will never be perfect. Just, when it's done
Starting point is 00:15:10 it's done, let it go. And I feel like Lucas can't do that. He keeps going back to it and tweaking it and tweaking it and tweaking it, thinking it'll be better, but you're ruining the original artwork, right? And in this case, you're ruining the original Star Wars franchise with your shitty tweaks. In this case, you can go look this up online.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Vader, before he lifts the Emperor up and chucks him over the thing, he looks at Luke, and then there's a flashback of the first three movies. Well, the new three movies. And he's like, oh. He looks around, and it shows a flashback, and it shows when he's like, no! And then Vader lifts up the Emperor and added into this scene is him
Starting point is 00:15:50 going no! And he chucks him over the thing. I know. It is unbearable. It's like watching something you loved as a child just get shat on. It's really depressing. I didn't have the cut scenes of it or the flashbacks. Oh, you lucked out. You lucked out, my friend. But it did have the cut scenes of it or the flashbacks. Oh, you lucked out.
Starting point is 00:16:05 You lucked out, my friend. But it did have the no. And it was the same no as when he, they're like, Padme is dead. And he's like, no. Right? He's like, no. And he chucks it. It is the worst.
Starting point is 00:16:18 And so, anyway, go on. I can talk about Star Wars sucking. I just want to point out, I have not watched a Star Wars movie in years because of those three movies. Just want to point that out. Continue, please. Well, that's what I wanted to watch, because I saw them so long ago. I was like, Star Wars is so big, I want to re-watch it now that I'm not eight years old, and see if it is really that good. And so I watched the episode one.
Starting point is 00:16:49 It was, eh. Oh, did you go in order of episode one through six? Oh my God. Okay. I went hardcore. Now this is pod racing.
Starting point is 00:16:58 It was, it's such generic writing. If you want to see, if you want to see a really good example of what that movie could have been, our friend Gerard, one of the guys he knows, has written a – two of the episodes are up. It's episode one and episode two, and then he's making an episode three one now. But it's on YouTube, and it's how he would have made them. And each video is like an hour long, and it goes real in-depth, and they're brilliant.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Because the first one, he's like, here's the mistake they made. The hero of the old trilogy is not Anakin. It should have always been Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan should have been the main character. Obi-Wan sees his mentor die, right? Like, all these different things. Like, Obi-Wan fights the bad guy. The first movie is Obi-Wan's movie,
Starting point is 00:17:46 but they keep him on the ship for 90% of it. He doesn't do anything, and they introduce some dumbass little kid. All of that is superfluous garbage. Like, Obi-Wan should have been the hero, and this guy does a really amazing like, here's how I would have made the movie, and by the time you watch the video and it gets to the end, you're like,
Starting point is 00:18:02 this guy should have just, he needs to invent time travel. Go back in time and make this movie yeah it's very generic but i was like okay i can adapt to this and then there's jar jar binks it was oh my god there's one scene where they're going back home and he's just like misa go and hope and it's the most like cringe worthy thing and then what was oh yeah then there was the Clone Wars. That was better. It was better than the first one. I... The problem with the Clone Wars is that the part that was interesting, the mystery behind who was doing the whole thing,
Starting point is 00:18:35 that was sort of, like, brushed over. Like, who's making the clones and all this stuff? That was brushed over. Yeah, it was. And 90% of it was about the love story between two characters who had no chemistry, who technically one was very old compared to the other. Yeah. Like, when they first met, he was a little boy, and she was like, dare I say, 16 plus.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Yeah. So there's a good at least eight years there, which is fine for real life ladies. But in a movie, that's creepy. Yeah. That's a rule. Yep. Yep. And, yeah, they talk about that Jedi guy, and they're like, oh, he ordered all these clothes.
Starting point is 00:19:16 And it's like, well, are we going to learn more about him now? And then they just don't talk about him. Nope. And then they make you think, well, maybe it was Darth Sidious. And here's what would have been great. and then they just don't talk about him. Nope. And then they make you think, well, maybe it was Darth Sidious. Here's what would have been great, is if at the end, the Emperor, or not the Emperor, but Palpatine was a clone of Darth Sidious, who he put in, like, there should have been a mystery there.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Because here's the problem with the entire three new movies. Yeah. There's nothing new suspenseful there. Yeah. movies, there's nothing new suspenseful there. Like a really great example is prequel movie like The Hobbit where, you know, Bilbo, yes, we all know Bilbo is going to live. Fact. It's just going to happen. But there are other characters, new characters added into the series that were never even in the books.
Starting point is 00:20:00 So their fates, we don't know. Right? Like there are things that you don't know what's gonna happen. In the Star Wars franchise, Obi-Wan lives, Anakin lives, Yoda lives, right? Like, all these characters that are main characters, you know
Starting point is 00:20:15 what happens to them. And the characters that are superfluous, like Mace Windu and stuff, well, it's like, well, they aren't in the new one, so obviously they're gonna die. There's nothing that was like, oh, I got to watch this. It was just so much hype around nothing. And it infuriates me. Anyway, continue.
Starting point is 00:20:32 I'm going to stop talking about it. I feel like they, I thought the one cool part, well, in the third movie, it's like, this is where he becomes Darth Vader. But that was literally the third movie. They should just call it When He Becomes Darth Vader. Now, I want to know what you thought of the old three. Okay. Well, hold on. To wrap it up, I thought it would have been cool if they went more into the Emperor line.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Because he, like, talks about the one line where he's, like, all secretive, like, and then he killed his master when it was actually him. That's what I'm talking about. That would have been so cool. That's what I'm talking about. That would have been so cool. And then I looked up the lore behind it, and it was, like, his master, like, trained him, and, like, he was, like, super powerful and, like, cheating, trying to cheat death, and, like, then he killed him in his sleep and stuff. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Here's the thing that makes it even worse. So all that stuff, I don't know if it works anymore or if it's canon because there is, since the old movies which would be what the early eight like the last one was 81 82 83 something like that since then there have been 30 years of expanded universe so george lucas at the time said and i'm a big nerd for this stuff because you know me i like lore and things. And so, George Lucas said, here's the deal. You can make books, stories,
Starting point is 00:21:50 comics, games, whatever, set within my universe, but they have to be within a certain time period. So, they cannot be 40 years after my trilogy, or they can't be within that period. Like, oh my god, something's crazy. I don't know what it is exactly.
Starting point is 00:22:05 But it's like you can go in between then. You can use that time in between then. So let's say year zero is where we're starting, right? So that's Return of the Jedi. That's year zero. Yeah. You can make stories after that stretching out 40 years. But you cannot make anything after that.
Starting point is 00:22:24 I see. And you can make stories before that stretching out 40 years, but you cannot make anything after that. I see. And you can make stories before that stretching out 40 years, but you cannot make anything before that. But then he broke his rule and said, you can make things way, way thousands of years ago. So there's stories about like, you know, like Knights of the Old Republic and things. So that's like so far in the past. Yeah. That does not affect his storyline at all.
Starting point is 00:22:42 But basically what he's saying is like, you can make these stories about my characters, but do not go so far out. Because his goal was to make nine movies total, right? And so he had things, I guess, he thought that he wanted to tell for stories. That would be episodes one, two, and three, and episodes seven, eight, and nine. And those would be the story canon. And so there's a massive expanded universe. And there's an entire storyline that takes place after Return of the Jedi. And goes way into the distant, like, 30 years into the future.
Starting point is 00:23:15 And so you have amazing characters. Like, really good. There's very good books. If you want to read the Thrawn Trilogy. T-H-R-A-W-N, it's, like, about the last Imperial commander who's just a total badass, and he's like, I'm going out like a boss, right? And so it has, like, Luke, and Luke, you know, gets married
Starting point is 00:23:36 and has Han and Leia getting married and having kids. And, like, their whole family, I mean, it goes, eventually it goes off the rails. Like, eventually they keep having to, like, their whole family, I mean, it goes, eventually it goes off the rails. Like, eventually they keep having to, like, update stuff. And so, for example, Chewbacca gets killed by a moon crushing him. What? I mean, that's literally what happens. A moon?
Starting point is 00:23:56 A moon falls on him. That's some bad luck. It's true. Chewbacca is murdered by a moon. And one of Han's kids goes to the dark side and becomes like this really evil Sith Lord and just goes nuts. And then they introduce like a weird alien race and it just goes crazy. Because eventually, you know, you can only have the Empire around for so long before it's like, have you killed those guys already? But it's this huge universe.
Starting point is 00:24:21 And Disney and Lucas got together and literally just said recently, all of it is not canon anymore. So all those stories are just fan fiction that you bought, right? And so what they're saying is, the new movie, the new 7, 8, and 9, those movies are the new canon story and lore.
Starting point is 00:24:40 And so, they have insane things in them. And here's the deal. I hated 1 through 3 so much That I don't care what they do With the new ones Because it'll be better than nothing But it's things like The casting call
Starting point is 00:24:54 One of the things right now is they're looking for A I guess mixed race Girl to play Obi-Wan's daughter Or granddaughter Uh huh And then Hugo Weaving is going to play Obi-Wan's daughter or granddaughter. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then Hugo Weaving is going to play an Imperial commander.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Well, isn't the Empire dead? I don't know where they're going with this storyline. I hope that they use some of the Thrawn storyline stuff, but who knows? Look, Crandor, this is a sore subject. Why'd you bring... You took me down the rabbit hole, man. I don't know. I just wanted to watch Star Wars. You took me down the rabbit hole man I don't know I just wanted to watch Star Wars
Starting point is 00:25:26 You took me down the rabbit hole We're not coming back from this We wasted an entire podcast Talking about Star Wars Like two giant fucking nerds Oh my god Alright tell me what you thought of the Three old ones so I can shut up now
Starting point is 00:25:42 The three old ones I honestly when I watched them I was like I can't believe these were made in, like, the 70s. Well, the late 70s for the first one, and then, like, early 80s. Like, they were just really good. And it was, okay. The first one, that's where Luke's all like, hey, I'm Luke. He's kind of, yep, that's what he's, hey, I'm Luke. He's like a dweeby guy.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Right. It's like, compared to Anakin, when you meet Anakin, he's like, uh, I'm Anakin. And then he's all like, complains about things. He's like, oh, why's that have to happen? Luke's more like, oh, jeez. Oh, golly gee. He's like, he's more that type of guy. So he's like ah he's funny
Starting point is 00:26:26 And Plus he has two robots who are actually Kind of humorous I'm like Mesa no liking I'm racist So I mean he's got that going for him Then Han Solo's just like The lovable douche bag
Starting point is 00:26:43 I'm convinced of this. I've said it before. The difference between the first three and the new three is Han Solo. Yeah. If you take Han Solo out of the old ones, it is just as flat as the new three.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Han Solo, every movie, just like the book we wrote, every movie needs the rogue who gives no shits but he has a heart of gold. Yeah. Every single one of them. If you make a movie with a team, you always have to have the hero who's the goody-two-shoes guy, and then you have to have the girl who's trying to discover herself, and then you have to have the guy who gives no shits, and he's a badass, but he has a heart of gold. Yep.
Starting point is 00:27:30 That's what you need. That's what you need. And then a giant furry man creature. Yeah. Yep. He's just like the big, you can have any, like look at Game of Thrones, they got Hodor. He's not furry, but he's just a big person. And he just says Hodor.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Yeah, which is just like... Yeah, yeah. You need one of those. Yep. And that means Rickon is basically C-3PO without his legs. Yeah. But that was good. And then the second one, The Empire Strikes Back,
Starting point is 00:28:02 everyone's like, that's my least favorite one of the three. Who says that? I read that on a lot of places. Oh, those guys are retarded. Empire Strikes Back is one of my favorite movies of all time. Yeah, I thought it was my favorite one. It is. The bad guys, it's anytime the bad guys win, you're just like, holy shit.
Starting point is 00:28:21 That's a good ending. That one was awesome. The beginning with the walkers and stuff that's a good ending. Like, that one was awesome. The beginning with the walkers and stuff, that entire movie's fantastic. Yeah, they had the beginning with the snow and the walkers and the, what is it, the Lampa or whatever? Yes. And he knocks them out, and then it, like, transitions into, they go to, what do you call it, Lando? They go to Lando's place, to Cloud City.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Yeah, and you're like, this guy's shady. I don't know what's up with him. And then he's like, hey, I'm fine. And you're like, all right, he's fine, but he still seems shady. And then it's like, bam, he made a deal with the evil people, but it's like he didn't want to do it. They made him, and it's just like, ugh. Right, there's so much character development in that one movie.
Starting point is 00:29:03 And what's interesting is that most... And Yoda. That's true. I mean, most new movies copy that format now. So you see a lot of people do... I know Harry Potter did it, and... Oh, God, what is that movie coming out now? The third Hunger Games movie.
Starting point is 00:29:28 And basically what they do now is a lot of people realize that that the format they used for star wars which was first movie tells a story second movie is a lot of plot and intrigue and stuff and third movie is the wrapping up saving characters and then an hour-long battle right yeah that's what the last two harry potter movies were it was all story in the first one and the last one was a full movie of fighting over the school. It's a good format. Because you get one that tells you everything.
Starting point is 00:29:54 You're like, okay, good. Now let's get ready and go blow stuff up. It works. And I think, look, they did well. Lucas did well. You know why he did well in the second one? Because he didn't direct it. Yeah. He... well lucas did well you know why he did well in the second one because he didn't direct it yeah he he is he is he like part of the seventh one no they literally just said you can give us some advice but that's it that's all he's done i've never been more happy in my entire life yeah
Starting point is 00:30:20 and then yeah then there's return of the Jedi. Oh, yeah, Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back. I thought Yoda is like, it's funny because you watch him in like the last, like episode three, and he's all like serious and he fights the Emperor and he's like, I have failed. And then you see him in The Empire Strikes Back, he's like, oh, hello. Yeah. Right? He's like a little crazy old guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:43 And he's such a better character in the old ones. Because you're like, oh shit, the crazy guy is the Jedi Master. Yeah. Like, that's awesome. Like, he's like, the old ones seem inspired by, you know, old Japanese kung fu movies and samurai flicks and things like that. Where there's like a story and a lesson to be learned. Like, this little tiny old man is one of the most powerful people in the universe yeah like that's that's some deep shit right there and the new ones it's like yeah no um midichlorians getting
Starting point is 00:31:17 you they're in your body and they give you powers science it's boo! You killed the fantasy. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, they do tell. It's like you got Darth Vader who becomes a good person again. And you got Luke who, like, resists evil. Right. They even do, like, the hand thing. His hand's a robot. He's already half his dad.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Yeah. Right? It's great. And then, yeah, in the old one, old walker the new like one through three it's kind of like anakin's do she watch his love story don't really care he becomes more douchey it was a bad guy and then he's like his friend can't die sky and it's like no he's not you dumbass the worst part of that entire of the third the third movie is an and Obi-Wan are fighting.
Starting point is 00:32:06 And in a line that I think was written in a conference room, it was, Anakin, the Emperor is evil. And he's like, not from my perspective on the situation. It's like, shut up. Shut up. I remember that, too. I remember because I thought the same thing. I was like, that sounds so scripted. Not from my perspective.
Starting point is 00:32:35 I disagree. From my perspective, his opinions and beliefs are far more realistic than yours. I am willing to debate you on this pool of lava that should be a scene from the movie it's just him and like Obi-Wan like podiums they're debating each other here is why I think the Emperor's evil and I cut and he's like I disagree or you see he has like note cards The powerpoint Yep As you can clearly see
Starting point is 00:33:08 The clones helped save the empire And the Jedi really didn't do anything It's like Anakin but he killed the Jedi He's just making Simple reforms That will save the empire several thousand Credits a day Yes I mean he's giving us
Starting point is 00:33:25 healthcare and benefits. Do you not understand? Uh-oh, I tripped into the fire! That's how he becomes Darth Vader. Alright, guys! That's it. We ran really long on talking about nothing. We'll actually do a real podcast soon and give
Starting point is 00:33:41 you all the things you want. But this was just us talking and having fun. So there you go. This was like the nerdcast. Nerdcast. Nerdcast. That's what it's called. Nerdcast. All right. Thank you for watching, listening, and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:33:52 And as always, to be continued. Swag.

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