Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox n' Crendor: Wednesday, September 3rd 2014
Episode Date: September 3, 2014In this episode, the boys offer helpful tips for Americans on how to stay out of trouble over seas. Also they get philosophical on the sexual nature of marriage AND CRENDOR JINGLES!!! http://www.patre...on.com/coxncrendor
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everybody and welcome back to Cox and Crandor in the morning.
Cox and Crandor in the morning.
It could be the morning.
It could be the other times of the day.
Uh-huh.
And?
That's all I got.
That's it?
That's the song?
That's the jingle.
Yeah, alright.
You want me to make jingles for you?
I was about to say it was more of a jingle.
It was more of a jingle than a song.
Yeah, but I'm available for hire.
Uh-huh.
All right, so let's do a jingle about popcorn.
Go.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, popcorn.
Get your popcorn today.
Taco Bell, go.
Do you like burritos do you like
tacos do you like the Taco Bell by her blast main your head all day uh depends
undergarments wait to pass oh it's what you have to pee but you can't get to the
toilet so you just pee on yourself. Go.
Are you tired of smelling like urine?
Not anymore, because the pen's
under garments.
Jesus Christ.
That is
the worst.
Oh my goodness. But it's going to be
stuck in your head all day. It will. You're going to be trying to go
to bed tonight, and you're going to be like,
pens under garments. Are you tired of smelling like urine?
I'm pretty sure it will be forgotten in about five minutes.
In about five minutes, everyone will have forgotten it.
Out of the Taco Bell one,
Baja Blast, man.
Yeah, see?
That's pretty good.
That's a pretty good one.
Taco Bell.
So, first off, thank you to everybody who donated to our Patreon.
It is doing swimmingly well.
I think we already have our first name to use today in the podcast.
So, we're good.
So, we're good.
Hopefully, it's a name like Eddington Edsworth III. Dude, there's some crazy names everybody has. Yes. So we're good. So we're good. Yes. Hopefully it's a name like Eddington Edsworth III.
Dude, there's some crazy names everybody has.
Good.
Good.
People have some like crazy names.
I don't even know some of these could be names.
Like really.
I don't even know they could be names.
Like I'm not even joking.
I guess that's what happens when everybody...
Pear mustache.
I didn't know that could be a name.
There's at least one.
Like, I could take some of these names and make them seem like they're not even names.
Like, we're heading down the Christopher Trail.
Oh, that's a good name.
The Christopher Trail.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I could be like, so we headed down the Christopher Trail the other day.
And on the way you saw.
What about Hurstie Weltershoff?
That's a good name.
That's a real name, though.
Weltershoff.
That's a real name.
Welterthoff.
Weltershoff.
Wait.
That's right, kids.
You donated and now we're making fun of your name.
Look at this loser.
Wow.
Wow.
Go find me another show in the world where you give money because you like them and then they make fun of you.
That's not what I wanted to happen.
Not like this.
Not like this. Not like this Not like this
Not like this, but
So, oh, so last time
Quick subject change
Last time, because I know we'll forget
Last time I mentioned an article about
What happened when a woman slept with her husband
Every night
When they had sex every day for a month
Oh yeah
And the story's so deep.
Are you ready for this?
Are you ready to have your mind blown?
Yes.
So a Reddit post was out there with a spreadsheet about a guy who listed all the times he asked his wife for sex
and all of her excuses as to why they didn't for 27 days.
Oh, yeah.
I saw that.
Right?
And so it's like day one. I'm watching a show, and it 27 days. Oh yeah. I saw that. Right. And so like,
it's like day one,
I'm watching a show and it's a friend's rerun,
stuff like that.
Like day two,
she's exhausted.
And so they had sex three times in 27 days and he kept asking her over and
over again.
And so he sent her a spreadsheet and all the comments are very funny.
They're all like,
you know,
if,
if you want to be passive aggressive about it and stuff like that,
but then other ones are like,
uh, look, if having sex with them, you know, if you want to be passive-aggressive about it and stuff like that, but then other ones are like, look, having sex with him, you know, over 27 days for three times despite him asking, that's really an awful relationship.
Well, the response to that was this woman did a test where she and her husband had sex every night for 30 days.
Do you want to know the result?
Yes.
Turns out their relationship was not only better physically,
but also emotionally.
Whoa.
And I just want to say to, I don't know, scientists, no shit.
Who would have thought? I mean, I feel like one of those scenarios is probably, yeah, a little bit better than the one where it seems like the couple doesn't want to be around each other.
So what you're saying is that not being around each other compared to doing a super intimate activity creates intimacy.
Well, the reverse.
Or wait.
One of those, yeah, yeah. Being with someone. Well, the reverse. Or wait. One of those.
Yeah, yeah.
Being with someone.
Well, that's what I meant.
Yeah, yeah.
Being with someone creates intimacy.
And when you're open to intimacy, you turn out to have a better relationship.
That's what they're saying.
And I'm just going to go out on a limb and say, no shit, no shit.
It's like saying talking to someone helps you to get to know them.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I don't understand why this is needed, but I feel like only in America is this an issue.
Breaking news.
Eating food has cured hunger for many people.
Who would have thought?
It's a dumb study.
I thought it would be actually more interesting when I saw the headline
And then I read it and was like
Yeah no no shit
That's really obvious
So if you
Like she says here
It was my challenge that my husband happily accepted
So we decided to do it for a month
And sometimes it was 15 minutes sometimes it was several hours
It was always fantastic
We improved our relationship both physically and emotionally.
We see each other's souls now.
We really love each other.
Really?
You're seeing souls.
You got a problem.
I'm just saying.
Damn it.
Look, if you're seeing souls.
Probably hitting up the alcohol a little too much.
You know what I'm saying?
All I'm saying is if your husband is so bored He has to make a spreadsheet
About all the times you guys aren't doing it
I feel like there's a problem with your relationship
Or he just really likes spreadsheets
He might be making spreadsheets about everything
I mean that's probably true
Like here's a spreadsheet of what I ate today.
Here's a spreadsheet over what I ate over the last 30 days.
You don't know.
That's absolutely true, actually.
We don't know the facts.
You don't know the facts.
That's really funny.
Shut up.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to ask you about CoxCon.
Yeah?
What about it?
What do you want to know?
What do you want to know?
It was fantastic.
Because the last time we were here, you were like, I'm going to England.
And now you're like, I'm back.
Well, let's see.
CoxCon was fantastic.
For those who don't know, I had a convention that was basically in honor of my own glory.
We had it at a video game place,
and people showed up,
and I felt really bad
because I don't know if fun was had.
I can't promise that fun was had.
I can tell you right now,
I would not have had fun.
I don't.
There were so many people,
and I just sort of sat in a corner signing photos
and taking photos, signing autographs, whatever.
Whatever the hell happened in that corner.
Taking autographs.
I tried to make sure.
Taking autographs and signing photos.
And I tried to make sure that everyone got a picture or whatever.
But the rest of it, I didn't see any of the rest of it.
I don't know what the hell happened.
There could have been brawls and fights. And I assume people had a good time.
Like, there was a line to get in.
I honestly don't believe the line was worth it.
I would not have waited in that line.
I'll tell you right now, I would not have waited in that line.
But I did at one point go outside and order everyone food who was in line.
I was like, let's get some food for these people who were in line.
I felt good about that choice.
It made me feel good inside.
How many people were in line?
I think 600 people showed up. 600?
Yeah, I know. How nuts is that?
600? I know!
Which is why I want to make a
real convention. I want to make a
real CoxCon, and it's
just an excuse to go to London.
I want to make another CoxCon
2015, but this time make it a real convention
and then invite you and some of our other friends out there,
and that way we have a real convention, and then more people will show up.
It would be great.
600 people showed up.
I bet Joshua McKee was one.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe.
It was fantastic.
It was a real convention then.
But it was like, I mean, it should have been more, but it turned out to be a glorified meet and greet.
Because there were so many people there, I couldn't, like, socialize or do anything, you know.
That sounds like a lot of, it should have been more, but it turned out to just be a meet and greet.
Well, no. Like, if it was over a weekend, then people would be done, like, saying hi to me.
Like, oh, that asshole, they'd be done with me.
And they'd go have fun.
It's just the intense convention of CoxCon where it's like,
what do you got to do here?
Well, there's Jesse Cox in a corner taking autographs and signing things.
Yeah, so if it was a real convention, though, then we could have panels.
Oh, we could do our own panel.
There should have been a panel.
There should have been food that was very overpriced. There should have been. Oh, we're doing it. We're doing should have been a panel. There should have been food. That was very overpriced.
There should have been.
Oh, we're doing it.
We're doing it.
It's happening.
It's happening.
We need to get the lights from EA.
It's happening.
Oh.
Can we do that?
Can we have a light show?
Like, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
The starting lineup of your 1994 Chicago Bulls.
That's the best. We'll get the Chicago Bulls to come out
It'll be great
Yeah, Dennis Rodman
Oh, and we'll charge
We're gonna charge a lot of money
Yeah, charge a lot of money
Several thousand dollars to go
Those lights aren't gonna pay for themselves
Yeah, we need
Look, we need your money
In order to get that light going
More than this Patreon's made
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop
Oh yeah
We're gonna need like at least 50 grand
For the lights Just the lights alone For one hour For one hour worth of lights We're going to need like at least 50 grand for the lights. Just the lights alone.
For one hour. For one hour
worth of lights. We're going to need that.
I should change our 40,000
per month to we're going to buy lights.
Look, we need
lots of lights.
So, I think
it's time, dare I say,
to go to the sky of the Crendor.
Crendor, how's that traffic out there?
Oh, traffic today is pretty great.
People are going back to school.
People are going back to work.
It's been a long summer.
Not that long, but it has been a summer.
And I see some kids are going back to school down there.
I also see Omar Rashwan.
He's dancing in the street. I also see Omar Rashwan. He's dancing in the
street. He's being Omar Rashwan. Thanks, Omar, for giving us money. Now I'm using your name
in this segment. This is probably not how I'm supposed to do it, but I am. And there's
a car that just flipped over. Back to you.
Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to the weather. What's the weather looking like this
week?
Oh, man. The weather today is probably the most insane in Asbah, Bangladesh.
Okay.
Did you just type in A into a thing and you got Asbah?
No, I typed in ASB.
Uh-huh.
So today in Asbah, it's 82 degrees, cloudy,
and there's going to be some scattered thunderstorms for the next couple of days.
It's actually a lot rainier than I thought Asbah, Bangladesh would be.
I'm looking up Asbah.
Asbah, Asbah, Bangla, Asbah Baseball, Bangla.
Dude, it's raining every day.
It's like 88 and thunderstorms every day for 10 days.
I see Kasbah, Bangladesh.
Oh, no, there's Asbah, Bangladesh.
Asbah.
Asbah.
Where is Bangladesh?
Is that in Asia?
Oh, it's by India.
I'm trying to find.
You are so excited.
Oh, it's by India.
I'm learning so much today.
Okay, so there's India.
Nepal is right above that.
Then there's Bhutan.
And Bangladesh is below Bhutan.
Uh-huh.
And then there's Thailand a little southeast of that.
What is Myanmar?
Myanmar.
Myanmar has another name.
If you look it up, you'll recognize the other name more than you will.
Myanmar is the new name. Its old name was Burma yep burma everyone knows i still don't recognize what
burma everyone knows burma the burmese burmese python burmese a burmese python they're the big
giant ass python what is it's one of the top five largest snakes in the world, man. I know the king cobra.
And the, I know the normal python.
The Burmese.
In Burma.
Oh, and then, oh, wow. That's what happens when you spend all your time in Ikea.
The only thing you know about is Swedish stuff.
By the way, did you see that article this week that was, I don't remember who posted it,
but it was like, did you know that everything in an Ikea is named after something?
Whoa.
I didn't know that.
It was like, they're all Swedish words or Norwegian words.
Worbenderbin.
Yeah, like they're named after men's names.
They're named after places.
Well, yeah, of course.
That's not breaking news.
Well, yeah.
I mean, like, I found that out just now, but I'm like, that makes sense.
Like, I didn't actually know because I don't know Swedish or, you know,
Oregon-Dorgan language.
But now I do.
Uh-huh.
I always wondered what the original IKEA is like.
Somebody said they turned it into a warehouse.
It's like an honor.
Like the original Ikea?
Yeah, like the first one ever.
Do you want to go on a trip to the first Ikea?
Would you do that with me?
Obviously.
Would you go on an adventure?
All right, audience, people listening right now,
where is the very first Ikea located?
And.
Where is it?
And.
Well, it's got to be in Sweden. How can Crandor and I get to it and. And. Where is it? And. Well, it's gotta be in Sweden.
How can Crandor and I get to it
and go on a pilgrimage to it?
Yeah.
I feel like this is the India
pilgrimage. Yeah. Oh, this is
like our Mecca.
We're gonna go there
and we will
just
appreciate that it exists.
Yeah.
And then I'll film you losing your mind as you go inside.
Trying the lemon berries.
And you're like, I like all the smells.
I probably would like the smells.
Dude, Kazakhstan is huge.
It's like you're just discovering the world for the first time.
I thought it was really small.
Also, Kazakhstan?
I don't think that's a place.
Kazakhstan?
Kazakhstan.
Okay, sure.
So, what is going on?
We have one more thing.
What's going on with sports?
Oh, yeah.
Sports today.
I know the Rams were looking really good, and then Sam Bradford retore his ACL.
Not good for him.
Redskins are shooting down talks of a quarterback controversy
going on over there.
Oh, can we talk about that Madden trailer?
Madden trailer.
Have you seen Madden Season?
No.
Madden Season.
Okay, there is a commercial.
It's on YouTube.
It's called Madden Season. there is a commercial it's on YouTube It's called Madden Season
It is
Bonkers I've never seen anything like it
It is 5 minutes long
And it is insane
It's insane I recommend you all go watch it
And you be like what is happening
I feel like EA Sports
Figured out the internet finally
They did it?
It is so weird.
I've already watched 20 seconds
and a guy's gotten slapped.
It has James Franco's little brother in it.
It has, like, it's so weird.
It's so strange.
There's rapping and singing
and dolphins
and a violin playing bear
and it has the epic mealtime guy in it.
And this is so weird.
I'm just skimming through it.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
This is so crazy.
Whoa.
Whoa.
The epic mealtime guy changed a lot.
Yes.
He now looks like a homeless vagrant.
He looks like somebody that live in L.A.
He looks like.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Definite.
He definitely became a homeless man after he stopped doing YouTube,
but now he's trying to do TV.
Man, why would you stop doing that?
You had a thing where all you did was make food and eat it.
Yeah.
He was Guy Fieri.
You had a golden throne, my friend, and you threw it away.
Threw it away.
Threw it away.
Now everyone else is just smelting it down.
Smelting it down and pouring it on your head.
Yep.
And then selling it.
Selling your head.
Yep.
I got a gold piece of epic meal time guy's head.
Well, I got a guy who's an expert in that.
I'll bring him in.
Good to know.
That's my Pawn Stars reference.
Yeah! What is our big
new story of the day?
Kind of fits in with all the
traveling talk, which is the most
accidentally offensive things Americans
do while traveling.
Jesus. I learned one
a long time ago, and I think I brought this up before.
Eskimo
is racially offensive. Oh yeah, I heard that. I was yelled at one time in, and I think I brought this up before. Eskimo is racially offensive.
Oh yeah, I heard that. I was
yelled at one time in Canada because I said Eskimo
and they were like, it's Inuit.
I was like, how was I supposed to know the difference?
Yeah.
Like, are you supposed to research it or
something? Yeah. Am I supposed to
know these things?
Am I supposed to be culturally
sensitive to your needs?
Crazy.
Crazy.
Yeah, like,
come to America
where we'll just
offend you right
when you get here
as a visitor.
You land like,
welcome, Eskimo.
You land
just like,
hey, Eskimo,
I bought you
a good job.
How?
Seriously,
how is Eskimo
racially offended? I'm like, Iimo racially – I don't understand.
I don't understand.
I was going to look it up, but I don't want to dig down that rabbit hole.
I'm pretty sure I'd be like, I'm a bad person.
Yeah, at least now we're just like oblivious to it.
Yeah, we're oblivious.
If I looked it up, I would know.
I'd rather be oblivious and thus absolve myself of getting in trouble.
The American way.
Yep.
So do tell me.
What are some of the things we do?
Here's what Yahoo says.
When traveling abroad,
the last thing we Americans want to do
is offend the locals.
Unfortunately,
too many of us think
that's an easy trap to avoid.
As long as you are polite,
say please and thank you,
don't tell ethnic jokes
about the local population,
don't act rude
or all ugly American-like, and don't walk around in an fbi t-shirt
you'll be okay right unfortunately it's not that simple can i can i point out can i point out that
we don't even get that far every time i've been overseas i try to act like you know very
locally down to earth but everyone i know is just like, yay, what's going on over there?
Nothing, just trying to get through a bunch of Frenchies.
Yay, F this place.
It's like, listen, once you meet Thomas, you lose all hope for the rest of the population.
I like how there's an article about us being good overseas.
How about everyone else being good?
Where's the articles about everyone else not being freaking insane?
Yeah. Yeah, every time you deal with foreigners
Try going to
LAX
And go into the
Foreign arrivals
Area and just try to drive
Through there and you'll be like
I want to murder everyone on planet earth
It's always the most crowded one
It is the worst. Everyone there.
And they're all just oblivious to reality
and what's going on around them.
It is the...
I just can't tolerate it.
Can't tolerate it.
Can't tolerate it.
How about that?
How about step one?
When you arrive in America,
get out of the way.
Yeah, get out the way.
Get out of the way.
I feel like all you have to do
is go to a big American city to realize that that's how people are.
Unfortunately, it's not that simple.
As you might have known.
One downside of international travel is that it is shockingly easy for Americans to accidentally offend locals in a foreign country.
But at worst, it could lead to some nasty confrontations if you do not seem to realize what you're doing.
Okay.
The most accidentally offensive things.
Using the left hand.
In certain countries, mostly the Middle East, India, and parts of Africa, the left hand is considered very dirty because historically that was the hand used for certain sanitary activities.
I.e. wiping your butt.
We know.
Yeah.
So using it to initiate a handshake, touching food, touch someone else, or present a gift
is considered disgusting.
Well, left-handed people, tough shit.
Too bad for you.
Yeah, you're on your own.
Too bad for you.
Yeah.
You better not use your dominant hand.
Yeah, you better cut it off, actually.
Just get rid of it.
Get rid of it.
Get rid of it.
You don't need it anymore.
Rather have a nub for your left hand.
Get it off.
You're an outcast to our society.
You are just holding us all back, left-handed people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sitting in the backseat of a taxi.
We all know the procedure.
You hail a cab, wait until it stops, open the rear door, and climb in the backseat.
Well, in Australia and New Zealand,
you're doing okay, except for the last part.
In those countries, if you're the sole
passenger, some cabbies consider it extremely
snobby for you to hop in the back seat
as they're your chauffeur.
These cabbies prefer you to
ride up front with them as if you're pals.
That's your own damn problem!
Why is that a bad
thing on us?
Get with the program Aussies and or New Zealanders
Leave it to the Aussies and the Zealanders
What do you call New Zealanders?
Zealies? Landers?
Highlanders?
The Zoolanders
Wait so
Why? That's your fault
That's the taxi cab driver's fault that he just wants to make it like we're buddies.
Dude, you're a paid service.
Of course we're going to be in the back.
There's nothing snobby about that.
You're driving us.
You are our chauffeur to a next location.
Yeah, if I got in a cab and he was like, you sit in front, I'd be like, I sit not in your cab, asshole.
I like how your Australian voice is you sit in front oh yeah they talk in Australian yes they do have an Australian they wouldn't be like you sit in front they're not they're not they're not animatronics robots like you sit in front beep boop beep
That robot's like, you sit in front.
Beep, boop, beep.
It's like, all right, then, mate.
Oh, Crock-a-dikey, sit in the front, all right?
You don't sit in the back there, mate.
You go Crock-a-dikey in the back.
Yeah, if they wanted to keep us out of the back seat, put a crocodile back there.
That'd do it.
Man, we're filled with the tips.
We're doing very well. Which is a great segue to our next segment, tipping.
Many American travelers know that tipping isn't expected in Europe,
but many know that in Japan it could be taken as an insult.
Before you go to any country, it is good to practice to look up their tipping custom.
What? So giving people money in Japan is an insult?
I guess so.
They don't even talk about it.
They just say that.
They don't go into detail.
Well, first off, that's great.
I don't want to give extra money to people.
But second off, I feel like now that I know that, I want to give people money when I'm in Japan.
If it's part of their culture that accepting free money is an insult to their family, I want to just give money to people.
I want to be like, I have insulted your family, and now you owe me a blood debt.
I just picture someone just throwing money in the street like money
money and everyone's just like get away
they all walk around the pile
of money
no way
I want to that's that's what I want I want to
give tips to people I want to go to a maid cafe
and give like the women their tips and be like
you now are mine
like you'll bring dishonor to my family that's right I and give the women their tips and be like, you now are mine.
Like, you'll bring dishonor to my family.
That's right, I have.
You must work in my sex mines to not be dishonored.
You ate the sex mines?
I don't know.
The sex mines, you know, the sex mines.
Down underground in the...
In the sex mines.
With the ore.
This picture of a bunch of, like, people, like, chained up, but, like, in, like, sexual outfits just mining for coal.
In the sex mines.
In the sex mines.
Alright.
We're moving on.
Here's the thing. I'm pretty sure
that's some Japanese like hentai already.
It probably is. I guarantee there's a
animation of girls working
in a sex mine.
How come every time
we talk about Japan, it immediately
goes to some weird kinky sex thing?
It's because they're half of Japan.
Oh
God, Japan. It's impossible
to not talk about it. It is true.
It's impossible.
It's putting your hand
in your pocket. That's considered
disrespectful in Turkey.
What? Of all the things. Oh, maybe because
there's like a trust issue. Maybe they think you got like
a knife in there.
I don't know what goes on in turkey.
It could be some jive turkey in there.
You don't know.
You don't know.
Some delicious jive turkey.
Oh, jerk turkey.
Jerky turkey.
Literally anything Caribbean jerk is delicious.
Fact.
Fact.
Fact.
Fact.
Caribbean jerk anything is the best.
It's true.
And it's spicy.
Number two.
Wait, what?
Number two?
This is the number two is offensive.
What?
This doesn't mean two is in the U.S.
Holding up two fingers in the U.K., Ireland, Australia, or New Zealand
is an obscene gesture.
I did that when I was at Coxconn.
I did that to someone at the event, and I was like,
I don't remember in what scenario it was, but I did that.
And they're like, no, no, no, turn it around.
Don't do that.
Turn it around because you're basically giving us the middle finger.
I was like, no, I'm giving you two fingers.
And they're like, no, it's like, I was like, no, this is the middle finger.
And I kept flipping everybody off.
I was like, this is just, maybe it's V for victory or peace sign.
Like, nope, you're definitely insulting all of us.
I was like, no.
And I just kept doing it.
It was great.
Yeah, how is it offensive?
It's just two fingers.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't get it.
I want two.
Yeah.
And so I was afraid when I went around't get it. I want two. Yeah.
And so I was afraid when I went around the rest of Europe that that same rule applied.
So I kept not raising my fingers.
And every time I wanted two of anything, I'd just be like, I'd point at two things.
I couldn't communicate.
The lack of holding up the sound for two, it made it very hard to communicate.
Leave it to England.
Way to ruin it for everybody.
Thanks, douche.
The empire's over, guys.
Stop trying to pee on our parade.
Yeah, go back to the Republic.
Yeah, yeah.
Whatever he said.
Showing the sole of your shoe is not good in the Middle East.
Yeah, I know that.
The reason I know that is because the dude who threw a shoe at President Bush.
Oh, yeah.
That's where I remember that from.
Also, no, actually I remember from earlier,
because when they toppled Saddam in Iraq,
dudes were out in the street stepping on pictures of him.
And I was like, what the hell is going on?
It turns out it's offensive to do that.
So they were, like, showing their protest by stepping on him.
And everybody else is just like, what's happening?
I mean, I guess it's a cultural thing.
I think it's interesting that that's like a really offensive.
Yeah, I mean like the idea of like, I will show my disrespect for you by throwing this shoe.
It's like Austin Powers.
Like, who throws a shoe?
Yeah. You know what? Nobody thought of it. It's like Austin Powers Like who throws a shoe Yeah
You know what
Nobody thought of it
Nobody was prepared
The best part is
The president just sat there like
What the shit is going on
Shoes are whizzing by him
He's like under shoe assault
And he's just like I don't even know what's happening
They dodged him
He did.
It was very Matrix-y.
Back in my football school days.
He's like, oh, yeah, all right, cool.
I'm going to go.
I don't remember what George Bush sounded like.
All I remember is that he was from Texas, and he did drugs at one point.
Yeah, I remember that, too.
He's like, I did cocaine, man.
All right.
Okay, what else did we learn?
Crossing your fingers in Vietnam
Don't be surprised people are staring at you
The crossing fingers is considered vulgar
It is said to resemble a certain female body part
What
I'm looking at my fingers
Cross your fingers
I'm doing it
What female body part does this look like to you
I don't know but I mean in Vietnam
where
I don't
Looks like my fingers cross. All right. It's definitely not boobs
Definitely man. It's definitely not but it could be the vajayjay, but unless you got a venus flytrap vagina
I don't know what the hell they're talking about.
I don't know.
Especially in Vietnam where there's strip club places all over and everything where they don't care.
Is that what you know about Vietnam?
Is that literally the only thing you know?
I don't know.
I don't even know that.
I just heard it on TV.
Uh-huh.
Sure.
Touching someone's head I'm just staring at my finger still and I can't figure it out I well maybe this
will help you because we're gonna talk about Buddhists oh good it'll give you
some clarity uh-huh touching someone's head it's almost
instinctive you see a cute kid and you pat him him or her on the head no but
that's a no I don't know I would never do that. That's dumb. Kids have lice.
No, gross.
But that's a big no-no in cultures with high Buddhist populations,
such as Sri Lanka, Thailand, and China.
Buddhists consider the head sacred.
It's where they believe the spirit lives.
Okay, so, I mean, don't touch people on the head.
Good, good.
I don't know what kind of asshole is going around to every country like,
Oh, I'm touching his head!
Martha! Martha, take a photo of me touching this boy's head oh i'm touching his head that's some space issues you need to calm down man you need to stop touching people yeah i'm touching his head
though uh here's a list of places where the thumbs up is said to have bad meanings.
West Africa, South America, Iran, Sardinia, Israel, Thailand, Afghanistan, Italy, and Greece.
So don't give the thumbs up there.
Why? Is it because all I know is the thumbs up in Roman Colosseums was bad?
That was the go-ahead to kill people, I think.
Yeah, it probably just carried over from that.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know why it would be in South America except for aliens.
It's the aliens.
It's the aliens.
The aliens because they had no thumbs.
Whoa.
We just blew this shit wide open.
They don't have a thumb because their brain is so much more powerful.
Yeah, they don't need tools.
They can use their mind to move stuff.
So they only have four fingers.
And that's why the thumbs up, that's an insult to the alien master race.
Oh my god!
We figured it out.
We figured it out.
We figured it out.
Wow.
We deserve our own show on the History Channel now.
We really do.
We really do.
Or any other station.
Yeah, we'll take
any tv show really any show i mean i'm gonna say that's a-okay because finally the a-okay sign
in the united states means a-okay in brazil and germany it means a-hole wait hold on so doing
like a-okay first off no one has done that sign since like 1942. No one's been like, man, that's A-OK.
Man, that's A-OK.
No one has done that symbol.
And I guess I can understand how it looks like a butthole.
But again, again, all it is is a circle.
Yeah.
So unless you're like, hey, look at this nice butthole.
Like I don't get it.
But you know what?
I'm not going to question it.
It's your own culture.
I agree.
Although, I believe it's all up to you to decide about a-holes.
Do you like them?
Are they fun?
What's offensive in American culture?
What do we not like?
I don't know that I know an answer to that.
I don't either. Oh, you know what we don't like?
Close talkers, don't come talk to us close
If you're from another country
Don't get up on our face to talk to us
Oh, also
Buy deodorant
If you're coming to America
I don't care what goes on in your country
Bring a speed stick
All you gotta do is go to Walmart To learn about that That's true, we have a problem goes on in your country. Bring a speed stick. All you got to do is go to Walmart to learn about that.
Yeah.
That's true.
We have a problem with that in this country already.
Yep.
I would say, what else?
What else?
Oh, wait.
Hold on.
Whoa.
Why don't you, in the comments on SoundCloud or on Tweetster or whatever, leave us things that Americans, that are good for, you know, like when you come to America, things you should be aware of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a good idea.
That's called community interaction is what that is.
That's called community interaction that carries over into more topics for us to talk about so we don't have to work as hard.
Wow.
We just rocked it.
That's what happens when you pay us money.
Suddenly we start thinking up new ideas. Yep. That's what it's all about. That's what happens when you pay us money Suddenly we start thinking up new ideas
Yep, that's what it's all about
That's what it's all about
Alright guys, that's it
Thank you for listening
We will be back shortly with another one
And as always
I didn't even hear it
Whoa
There we go
Till we continue. There we go.