Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 336 - Jesse Achieves Nothingness

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

The boys are back and this time Jesse's mom has come ready to remind you all that you sit too much! Meanwhile Jesse just wants to do nothing. That's it. Nothing. But Crendor has no clue what that means, because he's somehow cracked the twitch code and is living his best life. All these tips and a new sports segment on this episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://getquip.com/crendor to get your first refill free. Go to http://go.factor75.com/cox120 and use code cox120 to get $120 off.

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is going to get your teeth looking sparkly clean. Also today, we're brought to you by Factor. Factor is going to change the way you eat. Change it up! Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Crandall in the morning! Hey, what's going on? What's happening? Hey, what's up? What? Yes. No. No. Yes. No. Duck season. Rabbit season. I got it. Thank you. Thank you. I'm glad you got it. I'm glad you had to acknowledge that you got it. Instead of me just wondering if you just said the opposite just cause.

Yeah, no, I did not do that. Okay, good. That'd be weird. That'd be strange. Right now, guess what I'm doing? Drinking a fine glass of wine. I am, but guess what else I'm doing? Sitting in a chair.

No, I'm using my standing desk. Here's the thing. You standing, holding a glass of wine, doing a podcast is exactly the mental image I need right now. Because there's something a little regal, and I'm going to say a little haughty about it. Where you're just like, well, I've got things to say today, too. I'm also doing some stretches simultaneously simultaneously like an old roman emperor the only thing missing is someone feeding you grapes that's true but i have grape juice i mean i'm close enough really yeah so i'm trying to do the old like sit stand alternation because i think

it's just better i feel that i, today I filmed, you know how we don't really think about our lives all that much when it comes to the job we do. I mean, obviously you are, you're sit-standing. But me, I like lock into a mode, get a thing done, and then move on with my life, right? Yes. But, however

long it takes me to finish that thing, I'm locked in. I'm like only thinking about that. And that's a whole other story because I've learned recently, I can only think of one thing at one time. If something comes along, I am off subject just like this story. Anyway,

my mom came to film a thing with me today and it was us filming for four, three and a half hours, something like that. We took one break but the entire time my mom was like, my butt. Oh, how do you sit so much? I was like, great question. I never think about it, but always when I'm done streaming or doing a video or whatever, I'm like, oh, why did I sit so long for that?

why did I sit so long for that? And so, yeah, I mean, it was interesting seeing my mom go through it because she was like, Dad, I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that every day. I'm like, probably most people can't and shouldn't. And here I am. I don't recommend it. It's sitting in general is just not good. We're not meant to sit.

I watched a whole thing on it. There was like a bunch of videos and I watched a couple. There was one guy talking about it's like squatting. So you know how like a lot of people in other countries will like squat down to sit, but they won't actually sit? Yeah, but apparently that's actually much healthier for you. I don't know the medical science of it. I would imagine anything's better than sitting, truthfully. So you don't have to convince me of that.

But I'm not sure what the scientific, like, here's why squatting is better. I don't know what that would be. Well, let me tell you. All right? Did you just look this up? Yes. Apparently, it's called the Asian squat. The Asian squat. Okay. I guess a lot of people in. Apparently it's called the Asian squat. The Asian squat.

Okay. I guess a lot of people in Asia do it. I don't know. So let's see. It is. Come on. Where's one of those websites that's like the eight powerful benefits. I don't know that I trust those websites.

I'm being real honest with you. I don't know that I – I was listening to a thing on the radio today about the dissemination of fake information on the internet and how people are eating it up more and more lately. And the way that they figured it out in the end, the way that they were like, alright, well, why are people so easily susceptible to utter falsehoods? And the reason that they found was that most things that are total BS are prepackaged to look like science. So, you know, if you go to YouTube

and you see a video that's like, these are the ten ways that you may have butt farts. And then it's just like a little animatic of like butt farts are little tiny goblins that live inside your rectum. These goblins are named Bilbo, Filbo, and Smilbo. And then if you just have a calm voice and you outline it and it looks like a PowerPoint more than it does some crazy person ranting. People absorb it like it is truth. And yeah, now I'm worried that everything I read online is like BS.

Everything. I'm like, oh no. All right, well, I found the things. Okay. It combats problems associated with sitting. Sitting. Sitting. Strengthens legs. Improves posture improves posture, improves ankle mobility and flexibility, promotes better positioning for lifting exercises, useful during pregnancy to alleviate pain, reduces tight calves, reduces pressure on joints and bones,

combats lower back pain, and improves digestion. I'm trying to see what the, um, Well, this, alright, well, this isn't good. Too much sitting overall and prolonged periods of sitting also increase the risk of death from cardiovascular disease and cancer. Well, that's no good! No, yeah, sitting in general is just bad. Which is why they said when you're a kid, like, most kids, they, like, squat down.

They don't, like, sit. They just, like, they naturally, they just, like, most kids, they, like, squat down. They don't, like, sit. They just, like, they naturally, they just, like, squat, and they're like, eh, like when they're building a sandcastle or something, they do the squat down. Because it's, like, the most natural thing. Am I gonna have to make video game news all about, like, the games we love are killing us!

Is that what's happening now? Oh, no. That's more just, like, modern. I'm not going to do it. I'm bought out by Big Game. You're bought out by Big Game. Big Game. Big Game got me. I don't watch that news show.

That's Big Game. Big Game controls that news show. Yeah, that's me. Jesse Big Game Cox. So, yeah, I'm trying to figure out ways to just improve my posture more because I've been working on that, working on strengthening my muscles that I don't normally work on. I'm just trying to, like, more like a health fitness

than, like, a buff fitness, you know? And I can appreciate that. I'm curious what happened that made you not want to go full buff. Remember, you were on a buff door kick, and now you're just like, I'm fine being healthy. I hurt myself twice. Well, that'll do it.

And then when I was in physical therapy for my neck, they were like, you're better off just doing lower weight but like more reps and like focusing on different muscles and everything's there like if you just do a lot of weight just to be like you i want to get buff like you can throw off your posture uh you can throw off your form and when you do that you cause more problems instead of like solving problems was there any kind of problems that like they said that they were like oh that's gonna really

mess you up like were you on the road to mess up or were they just warning you they're mainly warning but it's like it's one of those things where people just kind of do it and they're like i'm lifting big weights but if you don't have the correct form then you're gonna mess yourself up like over time but like it's easier to do the correct form with less weight but people are just like i don't want to do less weight. I want to be buff. Yeah, I get that. I understand that. I, um, man, I, yeah, I've just been, I don't, I'm not doing any of that.

I've been walking more. I'm like down, I walk pretty much everywhere now. So that's pretty good. Except when I wake up too late. Sometimes I'll be like, I'm going to walk to the office today, and then I'll, like, wake up late. I'm like, nah, I'll just drive. So it's not even that far.

I'm just like, I don't got to worry about it. I mean, how much are you walking a day? I'm trying to hit 10,000 steps every day. It is harder some days than others. I'll be real. On the weekend, super easy. On the weekday, sometimes I might hit 6,000 and be like, yeah, it's fine. But I'm trying to hit the 10, the 10 K. Um, I have in the past, like, I know that the most I've ever walked was 21,000 steps.

That was one time in the UK when I was, again, every time I'm overseas, I walk so much that like I come back a better man. You know, one time I walked around London and it was like an easy stroll and that was 16,000 steps in a day. Yeah. Like I can, that's, that's an easy stroll and that was 16,000 steps in a day. Yeah, yeah. Like I can – that's an easy walk. So I've done like 21 – I've done big steps. The minute I come home, especially LA since everything is driving and far away, I barely walk.

So now I'm trying to like get back into it and it's just – you know, I can't every weekend. People are like, Jesse, how do I – I'm really depressed. How do I get? I'm like, go for a walk. Go for a walk. And, you know, if I'm saying that to other people, I might as well do it too. So here we are. I mean, I think the most I walked was at conventions or like Disneyland or something.

Yeah, it was like over 20,000. Yeah. I mean, like, those things are great. Like going to disney doing that stuff it costs way too much money but it gives you an excuse to walk around all day and you're like get out there and you you get your steps in um you know you obviously don't have to do all 10 000 at once that's you know it's asking too much now i'm moving non-stop unless i'm sitting that's why you gotta not say well that's good to not sit. But you are a not fat person.

The difference is when I move around a lot, no matter what I'm doing, I eventually will start sweating because I'm like, oh, shit, I should have moved a bunch. And so that's a different beast entirely. You are a normal human being with actual body mass, and I'm over here just mass, and there's a difference. And I must stress that to anyone who's like, boy, Jesse didn't move that day. Like, yeah, I probably was like, what if I just lay in bed and don't do anything? And so, you know. You also live where it's hot.

Yeah. Well, yeah. And it's only getting hotter. And so, you know. You also love where it's hot. Yeah. Well, yeah. And it's only getting hotter.

And so when I go out, if I'm walking a long distance, I have to accept that I'm going to end up. Like, if I'm going to walk to the office, I have to accept that when I get to the office, I may have to freshen up. Just a fact. Because the summer heat is, like, scorching. Yeah. I mean, it's been nice here because it's, like, in the 50s, 60s. You know? We don't have that. We have during the day, it's like, do you like the sun?

No, not really. Who's saying that? Nature. That's the nature. Oh, okay. That's nature saying to me, do you like the sun? And I'm like, please stop. And it's like, no.

But I mean, you need sunlight as well. Just not, you know, hours worth of it. Oh, of course. I mean, I definitely get my sunlight in. That's not a problem. Oh, yeah. Speaking of walking. The other night, me and poster woman went for a it was, like, quiet because it's nighttime.

And then she was like, do you ever, like, when it's quiet out, think of, like, post-apocalypse stuff? And I was like, no. Whoa. When it's, like, really quiet out and everything, I think of, like, just, like, the silence of, like, nature. And I, like, look up, and I'm just like, yo, man, we're, like, we're just, like, one with the universe. I'm just like yo man we're like one with the universe. I'm like that person. Or I like see lights and think of like Lord of the Rings or like some movie and be like yo I'm like

Lord of the Rings. You're Lord of the Rings? You're John M. Lord of the Rings? So I was curious if other people do that. Do you walk outside and it's like quiet and night time and no one's around and think like, dude, this is like the apocalypse? No, I can't say I've ever thought that. But also I haven't spent a lot of time alone at night in the dark in like the forest or walking around the streets or whatever where there's no one around.

I've lived in some pretty major cities. And I haven't really been in small town America since I was a kid. But college, I was on campus and campus was cool and there were always people around. It was a campus, so people were always around at night. And then I taught and when I taught, I had to be up every day at 6 a.m., 5.30 a.m. every day. And so I was never – I would be in bed at 9 o'clock every night, every night. Weekends, everything. 9 a.m., my schedule was set.

Couldn't change – or 9 p.m., couldn't change it. So I wouldn't be walking out at night anyway. And then – plus, it was a college town. Columbus is a college town, Ohio State. So there's plenty of people around, even if I was out. So there's barely anyone not around. And then from there, I moved to Kentucky for a year to live with my parents after I got let go of my job.

And then, like, all I did was play video games I'm not gonna lie I had no friends no one was around in Kentucky so all I did was play games and like hope that I could make YouTube work and then I moved here and LA is non-stop there's never not a person around so

yeah I don't know I guess I guess I haven't ever lived in like the country I mean not even like Yeah, I don't know. I guess I haven't ever lived in the country. I mean, not even the country. What about the other Ohio place you lived at when you were growing up? That's what I'm saying. High school in Dayton. And Dayton is where I grew up.

And Dayton's not a big city, but it's a city. There's parts of it you can walk out and there's probably nobody around at night with trees and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was saying that I would straight up be on my bike going 200 miles an hour because I'd be terrified that I'd get attacked by a monster. Oh, yeah. In high school, for sure. In high school, I was like, mm-mm, there's demons and shit. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I had an active imagination.

But ever since then, nothing. It's been high school was 20 some years ago yeah it's uh actually yeah it's crazy yeah high school was was the late 90s so like you know it was a different time. There was no – the internet as a thing was barely a thing. It was AOL. So it was a different time and place. Now I can understand maybe you'd have a different – like silence, man. It's beautiful. But, yeah, back then I was like silence is terrifying.

Maybe I'm still the same way. Maybe I still feel the same way. It sounds like now you're trying to escape the silence. You moved to the big city, so you're like, silence won't get me here. But it's always fun. Yeah, maybe I'll have to think about myself. I'll have to take a few minutes to really think about me. And that will be like, nope, nope, not doing it.

Can't trick me, brain. I'm not going to self-reflect. Well, what did you do this week? Honestly, all I did was work. I am, again, caught in a backlog of tons of stuff to do and no time to get it done and it's not because I'm taking on more work I just I just have a lot and I have moments of just complete mind block I just I don't know like a creativity lapse and so I'll just start doing things that are comforting that I know I can get done.

Like five-minute gaming news is easy or doing these podcasts is easy. And then the more creative stuff, I'm like, I'll do it tomorrow. And then tomorrow becomes two weeks. And then I'm backlogged and then I'm stressed about it. And pretty much just a cycle that continues to this day. Do you still have three calendars? No, I have one calendar now. Oh, thank God.

I know. I'm very impressed with myself. But I just, yeah, I just can't. Like, how do you deal with your schedule in life? You, it seems like you're always doing something. Step one, I don't schedule anything. Well, there's your problem. Well, okay, not like anything. I guess I schedule anything. Well, there's your problem. Well, okay, not like anything.

I guess I schedule something. Like, you got to schedule things like dentist appointments and, like, actual, you know, things that require scheduling. But, like, I'm not like, okay, on Tuesday I will do this video, and on Thursday I will create or stream this game. I'm just like, nah, day happens. I'm like, what am I streaming today? I'll stream what I feel like, unless got like a sponsorship or something how do you spend time with like how do you maintain a healthy relationship how do you spend time working out every day how do you get through straight like how do you schedule all this stuff and make it happen in a way that

you're like i'm doing great all right All right. Well, first things first. Streaming, I only ever stream like two hours to like typically two hours on average. Okay. All right. That's step one. Because if you look at the analytics, after the two-hour mark, stream like numbers in terms of like subscribers and donations and bits and like all that stuff it plummets like it's it's are you sure that's yes mine usually doesn't take off my streams will will keep going up the longer i stream is it because you keep you you stop streaming people

just come watch me uh i mean it's possible i mean we're talking are you talking talking like viewers yes viewers does it doesn't matter well that's not that's not true i got a ton of It's possible. I mean, we're talking. Are you talking like viewers? Yes. Viewers, it doesn't matter. Well, that's not true. I got a ton of bits and donations today at the end of the stream. I mean, you can get stuff at the end of the stream if you're only streaming a couple hours as well. I mean, I guess you're touche. Touche.

The big thing is, all right, it comes into, like, people, as soon as you start the stream, you're like, yo, what's up? Everybody's hyped. Like, stream's starting. Then they're dropping bits. They're dropping subs. They're dropping all this stuff. Right? And then, you know, maybe a little bit after that, people, like, trickle in, whatever.

But once you hit, like, a two-hour mark, there's always, like, a, it's like a drastic fall off. I've seen, like, some super Twitch analytics guy, like, put up the numbers. He, like, combined everything. He used to, like, manage a bunch of streamers. He's like, it's straight up like two hours. He's like, if you stream four hours a day, you're better off doing two two-hour streams because you'll just be better off. Interesting.

Yeah. And even if somebody's like, yo, I subscribed to the start, and then they're still watching five hours later, they're probably not doing anything five hours later. Now, that's not to say you don't have to keep streaming that long because you can it's just it's statistically worse off and so that's what i do i'm like listen if i'm gonna stream twice or if i'm gonna stream longer than two hours i'm gonna do two streams i'm gonna do like a day stream and i'm gonna do my normal night stream right so uh just that alone like

i'll stream four hours in a day probably maximum unless there's like something crazy going on then uh usually i'll make a video takes like what 30 30 minutes make a video 20 30 minutes put that up i mean i guess i don't know how you do your videos yeah usually I just pop open the old OBS I'm likely this shit going on and then that's typically it you know occasionally I'll put some like true effort into a video but definitely not as much as I used to and YouTube was my only thing I did then I got patreon so I'll do my Patreon stuff so you know do like some stuff over there it doesn't take too long like 30 minutes to

an hour and then podcast couple times a week are you like I'm going to sit down and I'm going to work from this time to this time or are you like man whenever the inspiration strikes man like how do you do this usually I'll just be like alright man, whenever the inspiration strikes, man. Like, how do you do this?

Usually, I'll just be like, all right, I got to stream the night. And I'll just be like, whenever I finish all the things I got to do. I got to go to the grocery store. I got to do all this stuff. When I get back, I'm like, all right, what time is it? Like, 9 p.m.? I'll stream at like 10. Or if I get back a little later, I'm like, I'll stream at like 11.

Or maybe I like the last week, Overwatch 2 beta happened. So we were all playing that. And I was like, all right, I'll stream at like 3 p I like the last week overwatch 2 beta happened so we were all playing that and I was like I'll stream it like 3 p.m it's fine so I did that just kind of wing it well I I know I know you're winging but like and so the the thing I'm not doing this to be like I will calculate how to make the most money out of the viewer like I'm doing this because I'm like all right this seems like the smartest way to do this, and then it lets me fit in time for, like, myself to go to the gym, do all this stuff, work on other

things, and then if I want to stream again, I can stream again, and I'll be, like, reset, and I'm not sitting in a chair for, like, five hours. Sure, you're doing this for your health and stuff. Like, I get it. You're working smarter, not harder. Some people feel the need to work just to work.

They have to work. Even if it's not the ideal thing. Like, oh, if you work eight hours today, you'll only make money for one hour. But still, who knows? You've got to keep working. It's like that Twitch streamer mindset. You've got to keep going. You've got to keep going.

And it's like, you don't have to keep going i don't know what if i'm trying to like uh like beat a game or something you know what i mean well i mean that would take it would take months that ties in to the whole you know if you want to play something you're playing it you're it's less working and more that you want to do that thing like i played overwatch 2 for like five hours on one day last week but you know and that wasn't like ideal but i did it because i was having fun so if you're having fun and doing whatever it's not like i'm gonna be like guys we've hit two hours the stream analytics say to shut down now so goodbye i mean okay i guess it checks out it makes sense yeah so that's what i mean you're just kind of winging it and then

other times you know i'm like like, hey, you know what? You know, kind of losing some energy here, losing steam. You know, we're about the two-hour mark, give or take. I'm going to stop now. You also are more of a, like, completionist single-player game player, which is the opposite of me. Yes. I very rarely complete games, and i very rarely play like single player games

i i couldn't do the like you're sitting there playing league of legends where it's a game that you can play forever really i don't have that i don't have that thing in me i mean i've also done it where um like i'm i played all these old nintendo games right so like i played through paper mario paper mario thousand year like, I played through Paper Mario, Paper Mario Thousand Year Door. I played through, you know, a bunch of stuff. And all I would do for those is I would just play, like, a level a day. Or, like, once a week, I'd be like,

it's Paper Mario Day, and I'd play a level. It would take, like, I don't know, two to four hours, and I'd be like, there we go. Next week, we do the next level. See, that's, man, see, you got it figured out. I don't have any of that. I don't have the time, patience, or thought about that. But you do have the time.

If you have the time to stream for a long ass time. So I have to do so much that I still, I still, you beat Elden Ring, I have not. That's where we're at. Like, you're telling me all these things about, like, you play for three hours a day, you beat Elden Ring, and you didn't even kill shit. You just, like, experienced it. You saw the ending. I don't know. I haven't seen the third boss.

I don't know what the third boss is, dude. Well, I mean, again, like, I played that game every day for a couple hours. I can't. There's some days I don't even look at a computer. Well, there's your problem. It's not my problem. It's not my problem. If you're only playing for even just a little bit, you're making progress.

It's all about making progress. If you do, like with my Warhammer painting, I'll paint a guy for like five to ten minutes every day. And you're like, only five to ten minutes. But after two weeks, you had a couple hours painted on that guy. And he's looking good. I guess. You don't have to go all like super crazy on one thing just because you're like,

gotta do it. You just take your time. Slow down. I need to do it, though. like, gotta do it. You just take your time. Slow it down. I need to do it, though. I need to do it. Man, I gotta do it. What are you doing? I ain't doing it, Crandor. I ain't doing it. What are you

doing? Nothing. I always feel like I'm behind. I feel like I'm falling behind. But are you ever truly behind? Bro, all the time. Every day. Every day. Every damn day I feel like I'm behind. I feel like I'm so far behind.

Well, then what happens if you never, what if you always stay behind? I'm stressed. I'm stressed out. Constantly stressed out. Well, that's how you're feeling, but what would happen if you constantly stayed behind? That's what I'm asking. I would be stressed. All right, what would it take for you to not be behind? I would have to complete so many things, so many projects,

so many things that are just sitting here. That's why I have a team. That's why I'm bringing on a team so I can do that. I want to achieve the state of nothing. I feel like you're never going to achieve the state of nothing. I want to get to a point

where I can safely say, like, I have nothing to do today. I feel like you're always going to find something to do. I haven't felt that way since, like, 11th grade. I just just i want to get there again i want to get to a moment where it's like today i have nothing to do and then i just like wander you know what i mean i just go off maybe never come back maybe it's the last time anyone

hears from me maybe i'm like i have nothing to do and i fade away like thanos and here's the last time anyone hears from me. Maybe I'm like, I have nothing to do. And I fade away like Thanos. And here's the thing. I'd be fine with it. I'd be all right if it was like, I could finally rest and look upon a grateful universe. Like, you know, I want to be Thanos on that farm looking all tired with his broke ass gauntlet. Like, finally, I could rest. Like, that's what I want. And I can't get there And I can't get there.

I can't get there. I feel like you're not going to get there because you're always going to find something new to do. That's my point. Because your brain is just wired like that. No, no, I don't want to find. I don't have a desire to constantly be working. In fact, I'd rather not constantly be working. I want to do anything but work all the time.

But you just said I'm trying to catch up to where I should be, so you're trying to catch up to nothing? Yes. Well, there's your problem. I just want to catch nothing. I want to be in a state of pure nothingness. Well, in order to catch nothing, you have to be nothing. That's my goal. It's not a goal. It's just a thing you do.

Yeah, well, I can't, but like, I want to also be able to like, you know, still do podcasts and stuff. You know what I mean? I mean, the whole point. I want to be nothing but with an audience that wants to listen to what I have to say. I want to be that kind of nothing. A nothing but, like, you know, a something. You just need to, like, you need to have a moment every day where you do nothing.

Bro. Boy, that sounds lovely. It is 100% possible. I guarantee it. We'll see about that. We'll see about all that. I guarantee it. I'll see about that. We'll see about all that. I guarantee it. I don't know.

I don't know about all that. You just said the other week, you sat down and watched like eight hours of Chopped or some shit. All right? Whoa, whoa. It wasn't eight hours of Chopped. How many hours was it? I don't know. It was like one episode.

You made it sound like you were watching a bunch of episodes. I mean, over the course of a week I might. But I only do it when I either make dinner or eat dinner. But would you say that's not like a time of nothing? It's when I'm making dinner or eating dinner.

So I'm doing something during that nothing. And I'm also judging the chopped episodes. I'm like, nah, that guy's And I'm also judging the chopped episodes. I'm like, no, that guy's going to win because I know how this works. So you're saying by doing nothing, are you just, are you saying sitting there in like a meditative trance? Um, not a meditative, just like I want to recognize that I have nothing to do and be like, I'm just going to like wander the city. That's something. Right. But it's something from nothing.

What? But that would also mean that eating food could also be something from nothing because you're kind of just zoning out eating. You're not just like, all right, I will. No, I'm not zoning out eating. I have to be healthy in my choices, so I can't just zone out and eat. I have to, like, sit there and, like,

think about what I'm making and what I'm cooking. Like, nothing I do is without thought now. But what about when you're eating? What? What about when you're eating? I have to sit there and eat. Are you thinking, like, I will take my fork and I'll put it into this broccoli and I'll put it up my mouth?

No, but I am sitting there going make sure to chew, Jesse. You don't want to chew a lot because you don't want to chew? Well, because I'm not sure you're aware but like if you're like a fat dude, you just like engorge food. You're just like yomp and you eat

it really quickly and most people that are not fat sit there and chew food, like actually chew. Oh, yeah. I sit there and chew my food. Yeah, you probably sit there. How long do you chew food for? Usually, I'll get at least 20 chews in there because it helps. That's what I'm saying.

I don't do that. It helps my digestive system, so I have to. Yeah, well, there, see? I have to think about doing that. Mm-hmm. And that's something. I can't just sit there idly chewing. After a while of doing that, it would become habitual.

Yes, well, it's not habitual. I spent literally 30-some years chewing that way. It's hard to break. All right. 30-some years chewing that way it's hard to break all right everything I do is constantly stressing me out crendor this is the running theme it's just gonna be it's just gonna be you constantly be like I gotta do something until you just like her so stressed you just fall over i don't want to fall over i don't want to unless i fall and like get too late like it was a grassy hill like i fall on a grassy hill and i just lay there and i become one with the land it's like the perfect ending like some movie

you're just like i gotta finally stop being stressed you just fall over and it's just like, I gotta finally stop being stressed. You just fall over and it's just like, it's like some loud ringing. And you're just like, finally, I feel it. I feel nothing. And then it just goes to black. Let's do advertisements. Now, I'm sure all of you have heard all the different crazy health routines that people are getting into, especially now that everyone's leaving their house and trying to get back to normal. Well, one of those healthy, better habits, as always, is making your smile as bright

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It's the good habits company. Also today we're brought to you by Factor. Factor is out there trying to make it easy to eat clean 24-7 with fresh, never frozen prepared meals that are so delicious you won't believe they're actually good for you. Winter, it came and went. It was Habernation time, right? We're out.

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slash COX120 for $120 off. Alright, Crandall, let's go jump in the car. Crandall has the traffic out there. Oh boy, traffic today is pretty cray. You get it? Traffic today pretty cray. I rhymed. I heard it. Yep.

Cars are backed up everywhere. You got boats. You got goats. Goats are backed up on the mountains. They're trying to get over those mountains. Goats are backed up? Goats are backed up. It is crazy out there.

You got to watch out for those goats if you're on the mountains because they will ram you off the mountain. And then it also looks like ducks. Ducks are crossing the street. That is causing traffic jam down at the 808. So watch out if you're taking that road back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk.

How's that weather? Weather. Weather. Uh-huh. Weather. Weather. All right, let's see. Who do we have for weather suggestions? Hrdorazy Czech Republic, I think.

Hrdorazy Czech. You just made that up. Hrdorazy? That's not a place? Hordorzy? You just made that up. Hordorzy? That's not a place. Hordorzy? You can't just say it like that. Hordorz. Whoa, never mind. That is an H-R-D.

I don't know how you say H-R-D. They said... Hordorz. Yeah, you're right. You were correct. Is this the Czech Republic? Let's see. Oh, it're right. You were correct. Is this the Czech Republic? Let's see. Oh, it's Prague.

So, I mean, is Prague in the Czech Republic? It's all pretty close. Weather. Weather. Weather. All right. Oh, there it is. The Czech Republic.

It is. Hold on. How do you say this pronunciation pronunciation how to pronounce here it is wait i thought it was gonna have a pronunciation oh here we go hardy lorizzi Hardy-Lor-ee-zee. Hardy-Lor-ee-zee. What? Yeah, it says Hardy-Lor-ee-zee. Hardy-Lor-ee-zee. Hardy. So HR is H-R-D Hardy. Like Hardys?

Yeah, like Hardys. Like Hard-a-Lor-ee-zee. Okay. I guess. I'll take it. Yeah. Hard-a-Lor-ee-zee. Central Bohemian Czech Republic.

46 degrees. You got showers in the vicinity. Rain likely ending pretty soon, however. It feels like 45 degrees. High of 66, low of 43. Humidity 78%. Pressure 30.09 inches. 10-mile visibility.

3-mile-an-hour south winds. Dew point 39. UV index 0 of 10 with a waxing crescent moon phase. 5.34 a.m. sunrise, 8.21 p.m. sunset. Checking out the old daily forecast here. We've got 67 degrees on Monday, cloudy with light rain. Then becoming partly cloudy. Chance of rain 90%. Tuesday, you've got 67, partly cloudy. Wednesdayy with light rain. Then becoming partly cloudy. Chance of rain 90%.

Tuesday you got 67. Partly cloudy. Wednesday 68. Rain. Thursday 65. Light rain. 64 on Friday with partly cloudy skies. Saturday showers. 64 degrees. And Sunday is going to be 63 with clouds. A lot of clouds.

A lot of 65-ish degree temperatures over in Harlem. A lot of waning gibbous. Waning gibbous. That's the weather. Yeah, it's like a suburb of Prague, it looks like. Oh, I see. Kinda. It also is pointing directly at a river. When you go to the map,

it points directly at the oh no, the rocky... You know what? You know what? Never mind. I'm not going to. You know what?

I was going to investigate, but nothing on here. Nothing on here. Looks like words I would know how to say. There's a road nearby named Seskabruska. Yeah, good old Seskabruska. Right, right. There's another one called proski okru. No, I'm all right.

You know what? Let's move on. Oh, hold on. I just dropped in there on Google Streets or whatever. And the stop signs just say stop. I thought it was going to be like, Stupestiljofur. I'm sure that should be offensive, but I love it.

I'm like, stup offensive, but I love it going, I mean, I'm like 25% Slav. Yeah, I mean, if anything, these are your people. These are my people. I think I'm like Croatian or something. Is that nearby? It probably is. Hold on. I got to figure or something. Is that nearby? It probably is. Hold on. I got to figure it out.

Where's Croatia? Where's Croatia? Where's Croatia? Never mind. I'm more south. I'm more south from here. All right. Well, the more you know.

The more you know. Okay. Let's talk sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. How you doing? I mean, great. Doing fantastic. That's good.

So we had sports happen today. First, NBA playoffs. We had the Bucs beat the Celtics in the first round of the second round, essentially. Or the first game of the second round, I should say. And then we had the Warriors barely squeak out a win over the Grizzlies. Tomorrow, we have the other two games, which is Phoenix and Dallas. And the, who's the other teams in there? It's the, I know the 76ers play the Heat. And then, oh yeah, and then yeah and then Phoenix Dallas I don't know what I was

thinking so that's the other one uh so pretty good games one two three and four seeds but in both divisions so the top four teams are the top teams over there pretty neat then in the NHL we've got the NHL playoffs coming up so now we officially have the playoff picture. Let's see here. Take a look at the conference. Florida finishes as number one in the East. Carolina, number two. Toronto, Rangers of New York.

Tampa Bay, Boston, Pittsburgh. The Toronto Rangers of New York. And Washington, the number eight, which means all the seeds in the East have been at 100 points, which is pretty wild. I don't think that's happened really ever, or it's been a while. And in the West, you got Colorado, Minnesota, Calgary, St. Louis, Edmonton, Los Angeles, Dallas, and Nashville,

as the teams going in to the playoffs should be a good old-fashioned time. In baseball, baseball, baseball, looks like we have the Yankees in first place with Toronto right behind. We got Minnesota in first in the central, the Angels in the west, and the Mets, the Brewers, the angels in the west and the mets uh the brewers and a tie between the dodgers and the padres as the top teams with the giants only half a game behind and the rockies only a game and a half behind yo nl west is wild that's a wild division and then the uh nfl draft happened i was happy with the way the packers drafted pretty solid didn't get the first round receiver but we got an early second i I'll take it. And definitely Super Bowl year coming up.

Pretty happy. Why would you lie to yourself like that? I wouldn't. I think this is a Super Bowl year. You can say it. You have never been more wrong. Mark it down. You've never been more wrong.

Mark it down. This is the Super Bowl year. Packers Super Bowl 2023. Yep. You heard it here first. Put it on your calendars. Not happening. Yep. I would bet against that, you heard it here first. Put it on your calendars. Not happening. Yep.

I would bet against that, everyone. Bet against it. It's happening. Same team as last year, minus Devontae Adams, but Rodgers spreads the ball out a little bit more because he was in force feed Adams in the double-triple coverage in the NFC Divisional Championship game. Probably hits Lazard on the slant route.

You can't just say things and it means something. I literally just said things that meant something. No, it meant nothing. Most people listening right now, what you just said was gibberish, and that's why you're going to lose. That's why you've lost. All right, let me break it down for you. This is why you've lost.

So you've got the NFC Divisional Championship game. All right? Well, it's a divisional game. But, all right, they threw 16 passes to Jones and Adams. Split between them. So it was 8-8. Adams most of the time was double, triple coverage. He had Lazard on a post route over the middle.

That means he goes straight and then he cuts to the right. Wide open and he chose to throw double-covered Devontae Adams on the right side. He doesn't do that if he doesn't have a chemistry bond with Adams where he's like, yo, I'm going to go to Adams, my guy. Now that Adams is gone, some a chemistry bond with Adams where he's like yo I'm gonna go to Adams my guy now that Adams is gone some people like oh what's Rodgers gonna do but he's like a top tier hall of fame quarterback he's gonna spread the ball around all right so he's when he's got the chemistry when he's got that Lazard poster out now he's gonna hit it all right that's what I'm saying plus the running game you got Jones still in the backfield you

both bolster the offensive line you get Bakhtiiari back. You're going to be going up left, right. Play action is going to open up the passing game. It's going to be a good year. I don't buy it. Something about that doesn't sound right to me. Well, this guy's an idiot. See, now we just do this, and then it's like we're ESPN. Yeah.

No, I don't think so. Well, I think you're an idiot. You're an idiot. All right, you've got to yell. You've got to keep yelling. No, it's think you're an idiot. You're an idiot. All right, you got to yell. You got to keep yelling. No, it's you who is the idiot. You're an idiot. No, it's you.

All right, what I'm trying to say is that you understand. No, I was a coach for 25 years. It doesn't matter. You were a bad coach. You were a bad coach. No, I was a very good coach. You were dumb. You were a terrible coach.

We went to three playoffs. Those were terrible playoffs. We went to three playoffs. Everybody was injured. No, no, no. We went to three playoffs. Everybody was injured. No, no, no. We went to three playoffs. And everything was great. My team consisted of Ronald McDonald.

Ronald McDonald was a liar. No. Ronald McDonald was amazing. That man ran for the 1,000, 3,000-yard season in clown shoes. He wasn't even good. He ran in clown shoes. That is Eric Lown. You should wear the clown shoes. He wasn't even good. He ran in clown shoes. That is Eric Clown. You should wear the clown shoes.

See, there you go. That's practically ESPN. No joke. I listened to Stephen A. Smith and Mad Dog Russo. Yeah, that sounds right. Mad Dog. Do you even know what you're saying? He's like, Stephen A., Stephen A., you're an idiot.

This is why I'm in the Boston sports are the best sports of all time. Stephen Curry, you know, and he's like, you need to calm down. You need to... It's like, what is happening? Those got like the most views of like any ESPN show, just them yelling at each other.

Well, of course, yeah. People are there to watch them yell at each other. I'm sure we'll get people who are like, dude, best bit of the entire podcast. I love when you said that Jesse was a clown because he played man with cheese or whatever. Oh, 100%. We need to make that a weekly like 20-second segment where we just yell at each other.

You don't get it. I've been coaching for 20 years. What are you coaching, clowns? In clown school? Clown league. Clown league was a very good league. There's no problem with clown league. It was a good league if you were a clown.

I agree with that. Yes. Well, clowns is a noble profession. One of the oldest. Yeah, and there's a reason they're the oldest. They should stay out of it. They're too old. We've got to move on, guys.

We've got to move on to the next segment. Yeah. That's move on, guys. We gotta move on. Yeah. That's sports. All right. What is our fact of the day? Oh, boy. You're looking for a weird fact of the day? I've got a weird fact of the day. Take me away to fact town.

This one is actually perfect for you. Kind of. Not really. Don't know what that means. Glow-in-the-dark sharks are a thing. Nope. Nope. I don't like it. Frankly, I don't like it. The swell shark,

which dwells 1,700... The swell shark. That's one swell shark. That's a swell shark. It dwells 1,700 feet beneath the ocean's surface, emits a fluorescent glow, and granted, it's typically only visible to other swell sharks. What?

Whoa. That's crazy. I don't know what that means. That's some swell shark BS right there. But scientists have figured out a way to detect the glow using filters. Okay. And how does that work? I don't know.

That's crazy science. Yeah. How do they do that? Oh, yeah. Look, there's the swell shark. I guess it's just a glow in the dark. Shari kind of looks like a... Hold on.

Let me see this guy. Where is this guy? Oh, he looks fine. That's not even a shark. That guy, that's like when you call a chihuahua a dog. That's a rat. That's a rat with fins. He's a little more like a platypus. I mean, yeah, I'm here for it. I like this guy.

Yeah, there's going to be a shark. This dude's pretty nice. At least he's got some cool stuff, like he's glowing in the dark. Yeah, I'm here for this guy. This guy's neat. I like him. Frankly, I like him a lot. We found the shark.

You approve. I very much approve of this guy. He's a good guy, this one. There we go. That's your fact of the day. All right, what's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Is this the same story?

What the shit? Hold on. About sharks? Glow-in-the-arc sharks? No, no, no, no. Hold on. These are different stories, but both the same. We have... What?

Okay, hold on. Woman crashes pickup into Pasco County home. Oh, wait. That was supposed to all be together. Woman crashes pickup into Pasco County home after hitting gas instead of break. Then we have a Florida woman tells police she was following her GPS down staircase. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

I mean, I guess that is the same story. Kind of. Yeah, kind of. Okay, so first off, staircase woman. 26-year-old woman who drove her SUV through a police pedestrian plaza and down a flight of stairs claims she was following her GPS instructions.

Officers didn't buy the woman's claim, stating they, quote, felt it was her excessive blood alcohol level that led to the crash. That would probably do it. That would probably do it. Police said the woman, who appeared to be in a Toyota Highlander SUV, drove through police department garage across pedestrian plaza and downstairs. We are fortunate she didn't hit anybody. Don't drink and drive.

The woman was issued a summons for operating while under the influence. Yeah, don't drink and drive, kids. There's your lesson. And then what was this one? Let's see. A 65-year-old woman drove into a house in Newport Ritchie. Dude, we're back to Newport Ritchie. Newport Ritchie.

Fireworks going off in the background. Hey, it's Newport Richey. Someone drove into my home. I need someone to get me my GoFundMe. He's got this lady. She's just like backing into his house. She just crashes through the wall. He's just in his recliner. He's just sitting there and he's just like backing into his house. Just crashes through the wall. He's just in his recliner.

He's just sitting there and he's like, you got smokes? Lady, you got any smokes in there? She's just like, no, you ain't getting my smokes. He's like, get out of my house. Get out of my house. God damn. Oh, man. Cut out the smokes.

65-year-old woman drove into a Newport Ritchie house on Saturday morning. Newport Ritchie woman started driving a 2004 Chevy Avalanche backward out of a driveway on some Wiltus Avenue. Chevy Avalanche. Chevy Avalanche. But pressed the gas instead of the brake. The highway patrol said she drove across the street and crashed into a house. How do you even...

How do you do that? Like, okay, it's a point where you might be like, maybe, I don't know how you would even hit the gas instead of the brake, but if you did, you would think, oh, I'm going fast and slam the brake right after, right?

Yes. I mean, agreed agree that seems like the logical answer like she just hit the gas and was like like locked up or something i here's the thing i know this happens because i don't think i've ever told it was New York, when I was in Buffalo, New York, maybe. The years blend together, but I believe there was a place in Buffalo, New York, where if you went far enough north, you would pass Amherst. Boy, I hope that was the name of the town And you would end up on this road that was like Part highway

Part not highway It was this massive long road And on that road Were like all these gas stations There were a lot of trucks that went down this road It was like one of those roads that's kind of like This is where you go if you're trying to avoid the city kind of vibes And

I would always go there because the gas is always the cheapest. And if you tried to get it in the city, it would not happen. So I drove all the way out to this place, got gas. And while I was sitting there getting gas, these two girls come out to their red Grand Am. I'll never forget this. They come out to their Grand Am and they turn on the car and it's like... And then all I hear next is screaming as the car shoots ahead, up over the

curb, across into the highway, gets slammed into, flips, and ends up on its top. And I guess some random lady hit them in her van. But these girls are freaking out. and they had, dude, they had 20 seconds to be able to stop their car and they clearly could not.

Huh. And I don't know why. I don't know what happened. All I know is that that car went like through the gas station, up over the curb, onto the grass, over the sidewalk, into the highway. Oh my God. It was crazy. And I was like, how's that?

I'll never forget it. Yeah. Cause all I can, I can still hear their screams as they're like, ah, like going, everyone, I guess was fine. But I, I was there. Everyone there was calling the police. It was, we were all on our like our flip phones being like, you got hello? We need help.

It was crazy. Oh, my God. So I've definitely seen stuff like that happen. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's like, you know how people are out in the wild or something? Maybe something happens, like you're getting yelled at or some crazy shit, and they flock up like they freeze. Isn't that a natural reaction, right?

Yes. Oh, I mean, I understand locking up and freezing, but either it was a time dilation thing, but I swear to you it felt like 20 seconds. It was so, so, they drove out of the, like, it wasn't like they turned or anything. They just, it was straight ahead. Like they were facing the highway and there was no car in front of them in the other gas pump and they just drove.

And I don't know if they, like they just started screaming from standstill screaming and they're shot up into the highway. It was like a robot had taken control of their car and they couldn't stop it. It was wild. Huh. And so I keep thinking about that when people talk about like,

I didn't have any control. I don't know what happened. I'm like, I've seen something like that. It's possible. Hmm. Maybe that's what happened there then. Maybe. I don't know.

Well, nobody was home and there was no reported injuries apparently and that was it damn damn that's great but at the same time what did she like floor the gas like oh it still throws me off like it's not like normally you're like all right i'm on the break and now i'll hit the gas and slowly move but But she was just like, alright, I'm gonna hit the gas. Oh, sir, I'm gonna hit the break but I hit the gas. I just, I don't understand.

I mean, yeah, we're pretty much on the same page with that. I don't get it. I just know that it happened. Yeah. And that's your big news stories of the day or week or something. I don't know. Alright, well that's it for us. Thank you so much

for listening or watching or ever enjoying this podcast. Crendor. Hit them with the socials. Socials. We're going to mix up the socials this time just because we're feeling crazy. Alright, first up, if you want to see the podcast animations go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crendor.

They're all over there. They're crazy. If you want to see the podcast animations, go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor. They're all over there. They're crazy. If you want to support us, you can go to patreon.com slash jessicox or patreon.com slash Crandor. Makes it easier than relying on advertisements. If you want to see more of this show, youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. All one word. You can see all the shows on YouTube. Or you can go to Spotify iTunes SoundCloud

we're all over check it all out and then we're on YouTube Jesse Cox YouTube Crendor Twitter Jesse Cox Twitter Crendor Facebook Jesse Cox Facebook Crendor Twitch Jesse Cox Twitch Crendor and Instagram Notorious Cox Instagram Crendor was taken and probably some other stuff yeehaw

yeehaw indeed alright well that's it. We will see you all next time. And as always, shake the rhino. To be continued.