Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 346 - Foolish Confidence

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

This week, Jesse returns with more tales of the Jesseverse. And somehow this leads to plant protein, which is a topic I never thought we'd ever have a conversation about. Also Crendor loves corns, abo...ut 4 or 5 corns - and tiktok apparently? And of course Florida man strikes again, evading police in swamps long enough that he thinks he can outrun them by drifting on a lawn mower. All this and so much, on a brand new Cox n' Crendor. For Tickets To Our Live Show: CoxandCrendor.com Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 15% off your first order and 25% off your first membership item. Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox16 and use code cox16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is going to get you eating good and cooking good as well. Also, today we're brought to you by me undies. Me undies. All the undies that I have on me. All right, let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live. Before our recording studio. Recording. Hit me. Wake your ass up. It's up next.
Starting point is 00:00:34 In the morning. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. In the morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Cacks and Credo in the morning. That was a good one.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Thank you. I thought I messed it up, but I just kept going. I was like, it doesn't matter. Just keep going. That's it. You got the confidence instilled in you now. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:53 It's foolish confidence, but it's there. Yes. Yeah. What's going on? Well, we need to advertise Cox and Crandall Live. August 12th in Chicago. Be there. Be square.
Starting point is 00:01:10 It is one month away. We would love for you to come and join us there. It is going to be a wild time. I'm not sure what's going on in August in Chicago, but you know what? It's going to be us is what's going on. It is at our home away from home, Lincoln Hall. We love going there. It's going to be us is what's going on. It is at our home away from home, Lincoln Hall. We love going there. It's a blast every time.
Starting point is 00:01:26 And more importantly, you get to hang out with us. That's pretty cool. I don't know if that's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Plus, there's going to be a lot of fun little merch stuff there. We have the Cox and Crennaissance is coming to visit. Oh. I know.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Be prepared. Also, August is usually really nice around here. You're not getting snowed in. Your flight's probably not going to get delayed because of snow. Really, just the summer is the best time to get here. Why aren't you coming to join us? That's the question you need to ask yourself. And if you don't have an answer, you have to be there. That's how it works.
Starting point is 00:02:04 That's how it works. That's how it works Go to Cox and Crandor.com Or you can go to the Lincoln Hall website Or I'm sure there will be a tweet Probably tomorrow about it as well Whatever it doesn't matter All I'm saying is We'd love to see you What else have I been doing
Starting point is 00:02:20 Let me tell you I got two tales from the Jesseverse this week for you. All right, good. The first one comes from the fact that a new restaurant opened up. I don't know what it's called, but I know that it's about, like, sustainability, I think. It's very LA. It's very LA. But most of the food is vegetable stuff, and there's no meat on the menu.
Starting point is 00:02:45 And I'm trying to be healthy about what I eat and put more veggies in my body. But if you want to get meat things, they have meat substitutes. And it's actually pretty, I'm going to be real with you, pretty good. I got a spicy chicken sandwich that wasn't chicken. I don't know what it was. But it was delicious. It was very good. And they have milkshakes and stuff, but they're not milk.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Like I said, I don't know what the hell I ate, but here's the thing. It was so good and felt so light that I was like, wow, I kind of want another chicken sandwich. And there was my mistake. Ah, geez. Got that second chicken sandwich. Again, delicious. It was like buffalo wing sauced up. It was so good.
Starting point is 00:03:26 And then I got home. I was all farts all night. I don't know what was in that, but I could have rocketed to the moon on the gas power in my body. I was like, oh, man, what the hell is going on down there, body? It was like, bro, I don't know what you ate, but that wasn't chicken. It was like, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, all night. Terrible. I couldn't do anything.
Starting point is 00:03:55 I was like, well, I can't go anywhere. I can't do anything. I'm going to be a mess. It was like, I was playing the music from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I was like, I was like coming out my butt though. It was lovely. It was a lovely time. As you were rocketing to the moon.
Starting point is 00:04:11 As I was rocketing to the moon, where I met the aliens and I made first contact through butt noises. Yes, yes, yes. That's what happened. Yeah, it was delicious though. And I'm all about, I'm going to let you know. Lately, I don't know what's going on in the world, but things that aren't meat that are supposed to taste like meat definitely taste like meat now.
Starting point is 00:04:29 And it's blowing my mind. I mean, I like meat. Look, I like meat too. I love a good steak, but like maybe I need to get on that old time. You know, like back in the day, like I'm talking 300 years ago when people were like, we eat meat every once in a while because it's hard to hunt. You know what I mean? 300 years? That's like a few thousand years ago.
Starting point is 00:04:52 No. No. Like, in the 1700s, they weren't like, you know, meat wasn't an everyday thing. They were like bread and cheese. What? I feel like they had a decent amount of meat then. day thing. They were like bread and cheese. What? I feel like they had a decent amount of meat then. Like they had, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:06 how to like price. They like knew how to take care of it so it didn't spoil. Stuff like that. I feel like back like forever. It's like, oh, we eat berries and hunt and then you find. Here's the thing. Maybe I want to be a caveman. Maybe I want to be a caveman. Maybe I want to change my name to Uggs
Starting point is 00:05:22 Uggs and I want to live in a cave and I want to hunt mammoth. All right. Maybe that's what I want. Well, you're going to be my name to Uggsug And I want to live in a cave And I want to hunt mammoth Maybe that's what I want Well then you're going to be farting to the moon That's how I protect myself from predators See my thing is Usually I only eat red meat once or twice a week And one of those
Starting point is 00:05:40 Is a steak and usually another one is like a hamburger And then Usually all the other meat I eat is like chicken and turkey. I don't really eat pork. I'm not a big pork person. That's not bad. That's good. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Maybe I'm becoming a soup person. Earlier this week, I got pho, but I just didn't want noodles. So I just ate a big bowl of soup like an old man. I was like, oh, it's so spicy. I put jalapenos and stuff in it. It's great. I like soup, but it's too much sodium for me. I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:06:15 I only have it every once in a while. Soup's loaded with sodium. I know, but I love soup. I love soup, too, but I love my blood pressure. Yeah, well, you know what? How dare you? How dare you ruin my one love? Everything I love is ruined.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Everything. I'm eating fake chicken over here, Crandor. Let me have this. I'm trying to make the best of a fat man situation. Let me have this, buddy. this i'm trying to make the best of a fat man situation let me have this buddy um i will say that i think uh some of the meatless uh chicken i think it was meatless chicken i got a meatless pork thing once it was pretty good but i don't know the thing is like even in those things it's got like pea protein i'm like this is probably gonna mess up my digestion you know like i don't know what well my digestion likes and doesn't like well my digestion apparently
Starting point is 00:07:12 my body felt great everything about me felt good it was like wow that was light oh that was delicious but also my stomach was like bro i don't know what this is frankly i don't like it it was all farts all night i was like yeah so that was a treat let's see hold on now i'm curious what are the main ingredients in meatless things probably tofu i would imagine. Peas, wheat, mushroom, soy. You know what? All those things are good in my book. Let's see. I know there's going to be some guy on the internet that's like,
Starting point is 00:07:55 Soy's going to turn you into a girl. All right. I'm fine with that. I'm curious what a pea protein actually is. I've seen like protein powders with pea protein. Pea protein. Pea protein is pholum? Pholum? Phlem?
Starting point is 00:08:13 I don't know what that is. A protein found in large amounts in the sap conducting what? It's in plants. It's in plants. It's plant protein. Plant protein. Let's see's see pea protein powder pea protein is everywhere is it healthy all right let's see if this is a trustworthy source uh let's see pea protein versus other plant proteins proteins made of amino acids and there are nine amino acids that are essential in our diets. Unlike animal sources of protein, protein from plants, foods is often low in one of these or more nine amino acids, which makes a complete protein. Research shows that as long as you eat a variety of protein sources throughout the day, it's not necessary to consume complete proteins in each meal.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Pea protein can be a useful ingredient to provide structure to gluten-free foods or improve texture. If you choose to boost protein, remember to whole foods provide more than protein. You have to be honest with yourself. It's like when people are like, I'm on a full X diet. They have to supplement with vitamins or else they're just, you know, it's just the way it works. Yeah, you'd have to be a fool
Starting point is 00:09:18 to go, I'm not going veggie full-time. I'm not going vegan. I still want a bowl of cereal every now and again. I am going to go to a burger place and get a real burger. You know, I'm not going vegan. I, you know, I still want a bowl of cereal every now and again. I am going to go to a burger place and get a real burger, you know. I just, you know, I'm not going to forego pizza or chicken wings ever again.
Starting point is 00:09:33 I'd rather, you know what, I'd rather they just throw me in the coffin. I love a good chicken wing. You know what, I can't deal with it. My thing is, right, if you're like, oh, it's got mushroom proteins and like tofu, I'd rather just have like actual mushrooms. I'd rather just make mushrooms. Sure, right, if you're like, oh, it's got mushroom proteins and, like, tofu, I'd rather just have, like, actual mushrooms. Sure, sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Big fan of shiitake mushrooms. They got a woody, kind of meaty texture. So, I mean, if you're going for that, you're looking for some little meaty, some little, you know, woody, yeah, you get the shiitake. You know what? What if you just got a big bowl of pho without the noodles? And you sat there like an old man slurping a big bowl. So spicy. Just saying.
Starting point is 00:10:12 I can't eat that spicy either. It's going to aggravate my GERD. Oh, you're missing out. I sat there and watched the five-hour ending of Stranger Things. I ate my giant bowl of soup. Get them, kids. Oh, yeah. It was great. It was a good night. You know what I started eating
Starting point is 00:10:32 again that I don't even know if it's healthy or not, but I don't care, is bagels and the cream cheese. A good bagel? You know, store-bought bagels are fine. You can find some good ones every now and again. But, like, a bagel from a deli?
Starting point is 00:10:47 Oh, my God. Get, like, a schmear from, like, some old man who's like, come on, I made it with blueberries today. And you're like, my man, that is good eats. I don't care what anyone says. Yeah, I love the sour cream and chive cream cheese. Oh, you're like a savory bagel man. Yeah, or wasn't that? It's like onion and chive cream cheese as well. Oh, you're like a savory bagel man. Yeah, or what is it?
Starting point is 00:11:07 Not a, it's like onion and chive, whatever it is, right? Yeah, I like a good savory bagel. Nah, I need my bagel to be like fruity. Oh, no, I don't want that. No fruity bagel. And like a strawberry or a blueberry or a mixed berry or like a- Well, here's the thing, is normally when I do that, I also eat fruit on the side. So usually I'm eating raspberries or strawberries with it.
Starting point is 00:11:31 The problem that I have is if I go to a deli, they always put 12 pounds of cream cheese on a bagel. And I'm like, no, no, please don't. And the last time I went, oh, this was the worst. Last time I went to go get a bagel at this bagel place near me, they make a good-ass bagel, but, oh, boy, sometimes the language barrier is rough. And so I was like, yeah, can I get a bagel with light cream cheese? Like, not much, just like light cream cheese.
Starting point is 00:12:00 I don't want a lot on there. And she was like, okay, okay. I'm like, it's like this old go boy, uh, Polish woman. I don't know. I'm Eastern European. Okay. Yeah. And then I get a thing back that says, uh, you know, they give me the bagel and I get the receipt and it says, um, with low fat cream cheese. I think they thought when I said light, I meant low fat. Right. And let me tell you, that
Starting point is 00:12:31 cream cheese was bad. It was like it was like paste. It wasn't. I don't know what it was. It was paste. It was awful. Also, also usually when they do low fat cream cheese, the sugar content goes up Yeah it was not good
Starting point is 00:12:48 I was like It was very obvious that the cream cheese they make There is made there And whatever the hell they put on this thing Was from a jar or something It was bad dude I was like I was like well
Starting point is 00:13:03 Not eating that for breakfast And just like got to the office and scraped off every ounce of cream cheese and a plain ass bagel yeah that's a no that's a no for me dog yeah man i've just been eating baby usually it's like my snack thing like i'll eat either i eat it for breakfast or i have my actual, like, oatmeal breakfast. And then, like, a few hours later, I eat, like, half a bagel with the cream cheese. But I actually do eat a lot of cream cheese, probably too much. You know, what is that? I will say, a bagel that's good, I think all their bread is good.
Starting point is 00:13:35 What is that dude, like, Ted's Breads or whatever? That dude that's, like, the guy who's flexing on the cover of his bread. Dave's Bread? That's pretty good, not going to lie. Yeah, on the cover of his bread. Dave's bread? That's pretty good. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. Dave's got pretty good bread. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:50 If you're going to buy bread just in the bread aisle that is basically cake, it's a better variety than normal bread. I'll give it that. Yeah. I agree with that. Speaking of aisle, I got a good story Of the grocery store for you Okay alright Story number two
Starting point is 00:14:11 This week I went to the grocery store And it was packed for some reason Couldn't tell you why packed So I went to go park Usually I park sort of towards the back Of the lot Just cause it's easier. There's always spaces open.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Except today, nothing was open. So I was like, all right. Drove around. Kept going back through. Nowhere to park. I was like, are you kidding me? Nowhere to park? What is going on?
Starting point is 00:14:40 Is this weekend something big? I have no clue. Doesn't matter. Still couldn't find a place to park. So I wait. And I see this lady come out and she walks out to her car and gets in her car. I'm like, okay, turn on my turn signal. I'm like, I guess I'll get in when she leaves, stays in her car. Nothing happens. Her car is on. She is in reverse, has not moved. I'm like, okay. All right. So I just sit there. Three more cars come behind me moved I'm like, okay Alright, so I just sit there
Starting point is 00:15:06 Three more cars come behind me I'm still sitting there Then, two more people come out One of them gets in a car that's right next to me But I can't move Because I'm waiting for this lady Then, another guy, he gets in Like on the other side, on the left side of the lane
Starting point is 00:15:22 And he is Getting in his car, and he looks at me and he like signals Like you want to get in here I'm like Sure okay yeah I'd love to get in there So I flip my turn signal on to go the other way As I do that another person comes down the Other side of the lane
Starting point is 00:15:37 Towards me and she turns on her Turn signal to go into the slot this Guy is leaving from And I'm like whoa no, no, no, no. I've been waiting. So I, like, make that little, like, nudge forward. Like, lady, you're not taking this spot. Right.
Starting point is 00:15:52 And she notices me and she goes, oh, sorry. So she goes to turn into the spot where the other lady who is still in reverse and hasn't left is. So this guy goes to pull back. And as he does, the woman who has been in reverse The entire time goes to pull back as well I'm like oh my god they almost crash They honk at each other And the guy is like
Starting point is 00:16:13 Signaling to her to move So she pulls forward into her lane And then he pulls back Towards me so I back up a little bit So we can have room And he tries to drive forward, but the person coming down the lane, mind you this is a one-way lane, I don't know why, the person
Starting point is 00:16:30 coming down the lane facing me is now bumper to bumper with this person and they won't move. Now this other lady, who is reversing, she comes out, and she turns towards me. So now, in one lane, with no ability to move, Crandor, there is, if you can imagine, the side facing closest to the store from the side facing closest to the store back.
Starting point is 00:16:56 It is. Lady who pulled in the lane the wrong way. Guy trying to leave facing her. Woman trying to leave facing me. Woman trying to leave facing me. Me facing her. Three cars behind me. And I was just like, none of us can move right now. What?
Starting point is 00:17:14 So, the lady, I was like, just move back. And she looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. She was sitting there with her pink drink or something from Starbucks and just looking at me like I was a crazy person. Meanwhile, the dude behind me is like, and I'm just like, bro, I can't do anything. This is not a me problem. Someone has to leave.
Starting point is 00:17:39 I can't. There are three cars behind me. It has to be someone in front of me. Or you three back up. And so a guy in the back screams like, Jesus Christ! And
Starting point is 00:17:51 the woman who's facing me yells back at him, Shut up! So now I'm stuck between two people yelling I can do nothing. I can do nothing. So I roll down my window. I'm like, if you back up a little bit, I can pull in, and then you can pull back in, and then we can just sort of whittle this down. She looks at me, and she goes, just move over.
Starting point is 00:18:14 There's nowhere to move. I've got about three feet on either side of this car. Is this like a really small parking lot? This is a four aisle. It's the routes that we went to where you saw the lady dressed like, you know, it's not big, but it's not small. I see. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:37 It's got four lanes and we were in the furthest one over. So basically the direction that's closest to the store has an outlet onto a street. And then the direction that's furthest from the store that has a turn that leads into more of the parking spaces. Right. So basically this behind the lady that pulled in their car is leaving. So she can't just pull out. She made a tactical error
Starting point is 00:19:05 so she can't pull out like she can't reverse out of the lane because their car's leaving going onto a major road and that major road doesn't have a stop sign there they just turn onto the road so there's traffic there all the time so i am stuck in the biggest cluster f of cluster f's and i'm just like yo i came to like, water and detergent, dog. I didn't sign up for this. I was like, I have things to do. I'm stuck there. And finally, she's like, what do you want me to do about it?
Starting point is 00:19:37 I'm like, just please back up a little bit. So she backs up a little bit. I finally turn into the lane and then insanely the dude behind me moves forward. Like no bro just let her park again. And we can like he moves forward.
Starting point is 00:19:56 I look at them. I look at me being parked. I get out of the car and walk in. I'm like I'm done. I don't care about y'all. I'm not going to help y'all. You done ruined it. I tried to help. car and walk in. I'm like, I'm done. I don't care about y'all. I'm not going to help y'all. You done ruined it. I tried to help. I just walked in.
Starting point is 00:20:10 I don't know how long it took them to get out of that situation. But when I came back, everyone was gone. But I'm assuming that something happened out there, but I didn't want to be a part of it. I was like, no. I got my spot. I don't care anymore. Y'all suck. I'm out. That. I got my spot. I don't care anymore. Just y'all suck.
Starting point is 00:20:28 I'm out. That's why I always, at this point, I just park as far away from everyone as possible. I just walk the extra like 20 feet. That's what I'm saying. I would have. There's no place else to park there. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It must have been a small parking lot. Yeah. There's a shopping center nearby, and if I
Starting point is 00:20:43 really was fed up, which at that point I was, I would have just gone to the shopping center and then walked across the street. But like I was stuck. At that point I was stuck and I'm like, no. No, I fought for this. I'm getting this spot. I just like pulled in. I couldn't
Starting point is 00:20:59 man, I just couldn't believe how no one thought. Like the lady who was in this parking spot could have backed up the other way and been fine. But she backed up, looked at me, acknowledged that she was going to face me, and kept going. Move over. I just couldn't. There was nowhere to move. I could fit maybe half her car if I moved over all the way.
Starting point is 00:21:25 I just couldn't believe how stupid it was. And I was like, come on. And then the fact that this dude bro behind me screaming his lungs out, I'm like, what do you want me to do, man? He's like honking at me. I'm like, I cannot move. So that's what's been going on in the Jesseverse
Starting point is 00:21:42 this week. A lot of shenaniganry. I feel like it changes every week, but it kind of stays the same. You know what I mean? The theme is the same. I'm basically the George from Seinfeld of my own life. I'm not Jerry. I'm George.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Everything is like an over-the-top dramatic, like, insane thing or absolutely nothing. There is no in between. Well, that's at least, at least you didn't have any, you know, crazy dating stories. Like I said, I'm out of the game. Until I found my redhead, I'm out of the game. I'm not even, I'm not even thinking about it. Let's see. Well, I mean, who knows?
Starting point is 00:22:21 That redhead could have been the woman in the car yelling. She did have red hair, but she was like, man. You know how you can tell someone's a little crazy just by looking at them? It was that. It was that. It was like, ooh. Again. Again.
Starting point is 00:22:36 If there was any interest in that, like any chemistry between us, it was gone the minute she turned her car to face me. And I was like, you're stupid. We were done. Well, let's see. What did I do? What did you do? Like I said, this has been the post-Roman is away, Krendor
Starting point is 00:22:57 is home alone week. It's been like two weeks. It's been one week. Has it? Yeah. She left last Saturday and then she comes back tomorrow yeah really it feels like you've been alone for years feels like it's been years you're just like she finally returns home from war well last saturday uh she went to the airport in the morning, and then that's when we watched Clue, the movie Clue, that night. That's right, man.
Starting point is 00:23:31 The last week has felt so long. Wow. I thought that was like two or three weeks ago. That was last Saturday was Clue? Yeah. My God. That actually is pretty crazy when you think about it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Then we should watch another movie soon. We should. We should definitely at least try to do one a month for sure. Yeah, I think one a month definitely and then try for two a month. Yeah. Maybe like every other week I think is pretty good. Yeah, I wore my ass out yesterday. So I was like, I ain't watching, I ain't doing nothing.
Starting point is 00:24:04 That's what happened streaming wears you down especially when you got to be like and then with you you're like i they got me to play a shark game yesterday i played that game man eater where you're a shark and you eat people here's the thing it only confirms what i've always known about sharks there's at a certain point it was like all right you got to go eat people. And I was like, I will. I'm jumping on land, pulling people in the water. I'm like jumping on boats, eating whole families. And I was like, this makes perfect sense to me.
Starting point is 00:24:33 At one point, I developed the power of electricity. And I can like zip through the air. Yeah, I'm just saying sharks. We all know what they can do. That's true. We all know what they can do. Yep's true. We all know what they can do. Yep, exactly. They were trying to silence you.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Big Shark was trying to silence you. I knew it. Big Shark. Let's see. Oh, yeah. So, like, I've just been. It hits a point where, like, now I'm just like, oh, man, I got to make dinner again. What am I going to eat?
Starting point is 00:25:01 I'm like, I guess I'll grill again. I think I've been grilling every night. What are you grilling, though? though chicken i grill up chicken and then i usually make a cauliflower mac and cheese thing it's actually pretty good it's from a tattooed chef it's like cauliflower mac and cheese it's literally just cauliflower and cheese sure like some bread i was like hey this is my vegetable and some protein right more protein and then uh usually i'll do like a like a corn i'll grill up a corn too like a corn on the cob i'll grill up a corn you remind me there used to be a video joanne was her name she used to do videos for uh new egg i I was about to say ThinkGeek, but Newegg.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Oh, yeah, I remember. And Joanne would do these videos where they would put her on product reviews, like really awful product reviews. Yeah. It wasn't even computer parts. They were like, Joanne, do a review of a crappy Chinese phone. And she would be like, okay. She'd have to sit there and pretend it was amazing.
Starting point is 00:26:08 But they have to still be on YouTube They have to be I remember you talking about it I love Joanne They used to have her Do Which I always thought was funny because there's like 80 guys But they were like the lady can show off the cookware So
Starting point is 00:26:23 She did There are two videos of her steaming food she's like shows off the steamer and then she steams food and one of them is her steaming corn and she's like you can probably fit uh four or five corns in here i always think about that because i've never heard anyone just call them corns until you just said it right now. It's either ear of corn or ear of corn. You were just like, yeah, I grill a corn. That's all I think about is her being,
Starting point is 00:26:53 you could fit four or five corns in here. A whole bunch of corns. A whole bunch of corns. A full family of corns can fit in this thing. Yeah, yeah. It's a family-sized corn vehicle for uh steaming corn yeah um let's see uh i also oh yeah and if i don't have any corn i like threw some mushrooms on there usually i cut up some mushrooms, a little olive oil, a little garlic, ginger.
Starting point is 00:27:28 You're keeping it simplified. That's good. That's what it's about. The best food is simple. It's true. You learned from the greatest chef's TV ever gave us. That's true. Then, let's see. I've been cleaning more.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Yeah? That's because you're bored. That's because you are Um, then, uh, let's see. I, I've been cleaning more. Yeah. Are you, that's cause you're bored. That's cause you are alone and bored. It's like a compulsion. It's like I said, my dad does the same thing. I'm like, yeah, I could probably vacuum. Got a vacuum. That's probably, you know, why not?
Starting point is 00:27:58 Uh, and the cat freaks out. He's running around. Um, let's see then. Oh, I made a TikTok. I'm sorry. What? What was your TikTok? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Where can people find your TikToks? So if you go to TikTok and you put in Crendor. Is it slash Crendor? There is no 404 for Crendor. I don't think it's slash. I think it's Crendor. TikTok Crendor. TikTok Crendor. TikTok Crendor.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Well, of course. Well, of course it is. It's slash at Crendor. And of course, it's just a TikTok of your cat. Yeah. Well, I'm in it as well. What is it? At Crendor?
Starting point is 00:28:40 Is that how TikTok works? Oh, yeah. I guess it is. Yeah. TikTok.com slash at crendor there he is okay he's on tiktok yeah this is like the ramblings of a madman i realize that tiktok's actually perfect for my non-content stuff. It really is. So I'm probably just going to throw some non-content style content on there. Because then I don't have to flood...
Starting point is 00:29:11 My problem with YouTube shorts and all that stuff is if I'm going to make a YouTube short, I want it to relate to what I'm doing. Like how I could do Pointless Top 3 or something. It's like Pointless Top 3, now check out Pointless Top 10. Like a cross-promotion thing. Which I guess could go on TikTok as well, but TikTok, I i don't give a shit i'll just do whatever i want all i'm saying is you need
Starting point is 00:29:30 to and i and i need you to understand this david lynch in the whole thing this is it you're this video i just watched is basically david lynch once again, it's Friday. That's you. What I watch, that's you. Yeah, I do a daily update on what day it is. Like today is Thursday, and I walked in the sun. No, I just need another. How long is this video
Starting point is 00:30:05 10 seconds of your cat and then 4 seconds of you going this has been Your Cat update That's it that's all the videos You post that's it that's all you post is cat Is cat updates make it Make it weird make it purposefully
Starting point is 00:30:22 Weird or just the cat doing something You turn the camera, and you go, this has been your cat update. It's just like me pouring a bowl of cereal, and it's like pouring the cereal, and it turns to this cat, and you go, this has been the cat update. Yeah, no, you say
Starting point is 00:30:38 thank you for watching cat TikTok. That's it. So now, from now on, all you say is, at the end of every video, 10 seconds of your cat, and you turn the camera, and you go, thank you for watching cat TikTok. And that's it. And just keep doing that. I'm not even joking. If you keep doing that, you don't stop.
Starting point is 00:30:51 People will be drawn to you. Like, who is this? Who is this crazy person? The Zoomers will come to you. I'm not even joking. All right. We're going to try it. All I'm saying is already you have your fans on here being like,
Starting point is 00:31:06 holy moly, with smaller videos, there's even less content than YouTube. Great success. All I'm saying is if you keep this up, this could be big. This could be big. Could be the biggest thing since sliced bagels. I mean, they've been slicing them for years i guess so yeah um so yeah i made a tiktok and then you made one tiktok it's hilarious yeah one one tiktok one tiktok uh i made the finish the pointless top 10 rivers so that's up there now that was fun to do apparently Gary
Starting point is 00:31:48 Witta liked it because I saw a tweet and he said what was my Saturday night you tell me I fell asleep watching a video about rivers and World of Warcraft he knows who I am he's got YouTube algorithm doing its job
Starting point is 00:32:04 got him and He knows who I am. He's got YouTube algorithm doing its job. Got him, buddy. Got him. And, you know, just kind of going along. More Kren clips. More, you know, Warhammer stuff. You know, I've been having fun with the YouTube still. And then occasionally throwing up some streams. Doing some, I did a dumb stream where I played Novel AI.
Starting point is 00:32:26 You don't remember AI Dungeon? I do remember that, yes. It's kind of like that, but I think better. So I was playing some of that. That was fun. Writing, you know, wacky dumb stories. And, uh... Yeah, you know.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Those are my favorite dumb stories. The wacky dumb ones. Oh oh it was a wacky dumb story i did a it was like a story about a goblin named zigzag and he uh he kept waking up with dreams and he like went to meet some dwarves but he was an alcoholic and he loved drinking wine well of course he was all the dwarves were named after wine. So the dwarves were like, this is my cousin, Bordeaux. He loves Bordeaux. I actually really like the idea of a bunch of dwarves being named after wines.
Starting point is 00:33:19 It's very funny. And then it ended up being that there was like a mayor, and the mayor needed me to kill somebody. And then I'm like, I'm not killing anybody. But then I tried. I was like, screw it. Let's see what happens. So I was like, stabs the mayor.
Starting point is 00:33:36 And then his son gets mad. And then that was a dream. And it was wild. I'm going to be putting that up on my Krenclips channel if you want to see that one. But I already have my other story, which was Secret Agent Wizard. That was the first one I wrote. It was about a secret agent wizard.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Couldn't guess. I need you to know that you're doing the Lord's work. Yeah. So, you know, did that, and then just kind of... Honestly, I did a lot of warhammer this week a lot of warhammer so many rats and painting plague monks building plague monks
Starting point is 00:34:13 uh building ancient skaven models from like 2003 yeah i saw you found a skaven model that was a rat on top of a rat and i was i was with you. I want to see a big rat riding a bigger rat. That's what I'm saying. They discontinued it because they're like, oh, they're doing a thing right now where they're doing made to order old models. So if you missed out on those old models from back in the day, they're going to
Starting point is 00:34:37 do made to order so that you can get them again. But I was like, why did they discontinue this one? Some people like, oh, it's like an old metal model. they still have metal models half the like the the ickit claws metal the engineers are metal the gutter runners are metal the the all the warp uh not warp team all the weapon teams are metal like why not just keep Big Rat riding rat? I don't know. I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:35:08 You know what? Why not? Where is my Big Rat riding rat? Yeah. If anything. It sounds like the spoof is like seven foot rats with rats on their rats. That's what it feels like. I want that.
Starting point is 00:35:25 Yeah. rats with rats on their rats. That's what it feels like. I want that. Yeah, and so I hope they remake Plagueclaw Nurglech or Plaguelord Nurglech is his name. One day. You should start a fund. Or like a campaign on the internet. Like, hey! Hey!
Starting point is 00:35:41 Hey! I want this Um I should Definitely Hey So yeah I played a few Warhammer games I painted I built I did a lot of Warhammer
Starting point is 00:35:56 Um I lost one of my games And I won one of my games so that was good Well hold on you know what else is good There we go that That's the segue. Yep. Hello Fresh. Oh. Hello Fresh gets you that farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients,
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Starting point is 00:37:25 And more importantly, something like one dude can make and then put the leftovers in the fridge and then remake it, right? And HelloFresh has got that for you. Literally just ate the one pot chicken sausage and bean soup. It's got kale. It's got carrots. Again, Crandor may not like my soups, but I love a soup. And I was souping it up. I was like, I love soup.
Starting point is 00:37:52 And I do. I like your soups. I'm just saying I can't eat them all the time. I've had the firecracker meatballs before. That is considered by many to be like one of their favorites. I know Crandor, you've had that. That was really good. Yeah, it's great.
Starting point is 00:38:05 They have tacos, the Southwest tacos. They got shrimp ones. Oh, yeah. It feels good to be able to make something yourself and then be like, wow. They even have a classic Italian meatball sub if that's what you want to do. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Come on. They got it all. Sure, you can also get something healthy, like cucumber stuff, pita pockets And things like that Or Classic meatball sub You know what I'm saying?
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Starting point is 00:39:20 Are you going for hikes or to the beach or just, you know, out in the sun for a little bit? Are you going to parades? Are you going to the pool. Are you going to bachelor parties? I don't know. Or bachelorette parties. Maybe both. Who am I to judge? It's a lot. And thanks to me undies, you are always going to be comfortable when you go because your tush is going to feel great. Especially those bachelor parties because you're living your best life with zero butt sweat. That's right. MeUndies has a zero butt sweat guarantee.
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Starting point is 00:40:12 My drawers fill with them. I've got, right now, today, I've got ones with palm trees. And these palm tree ones, I think I got, I'm going to be real, seven years ago. They've seen better days, but man, I love them um and i have a bunch of new ones orcas which are also older yeah yeah i'm what is on their website right now if you went there me on these.com what is the what are the latest things that you can get oh what the heck is that oh they got cactus they got two cacti that are best friends hanging out. I got that one. I want the cactus one. Yeah, they got the, oh
Starting point is 00:40:47 my sweet lord. They got dogs. They got ice cream. They got pineapples, watermelons. What does that say? Love your, you matter. Love your, what does that say?
Starting point is 00:41:03 Love your hand? Love your hand? Is that what that says? That can't say love your, what does that say? Love your hand? Love your hand? Is that what that says? I can't say love your hand. Oh, it says you are love. Love your handles. Gotcha. Okay. I thought it said love your hand, and I was like, what?
Starting point is 00:41:18 Here's the thing. I like that one. I like that design. That's very good. They got Jurassic Park ones. They've got one that is like, oh, you know what? The palm tree one. Not as old as I thought.
Starting point is 00:41:30 They still sell it. Wow. They've got Game of Thrones ones. So if you want to let people know that you still like Game of Thrones and that it's okay if they want to leave, it's fine. They got those two. You're giving them an out. They pull down your pants. see you like Game of Thrones
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Starting point is 00:42:46 That's me. That's meundies.com slash Crendor. That's me. All right, let's go. Chapter 7 of the Sky with Crendor. How's that, Chuck? How's that? Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Traffic, let me tell you, it's wacky. Yeah, traffic all over. There's cars, planes, trains, automobiles. Traffic. There's also some traffic. And, yeah, I also wanted to say that literally everybody was recommending me anime for the thing I talked about last week. But I got so many animes, I got overwhelmed. And I was like, I'm just going to look at the popular anime list.
Starting point is 00:43:19 And then I just looked at, like, the top 40. And I picked out 10 that I was was like i'll watch these for episode once all right let's go to weather weather all right weather time in fact most of them we only got three weather requests everybody was given animes well that's listen you're messing it up the problem with everybody giving animes is that like like, I guarantee you, like, 80% of those I'm not going to like. But, like, people are recommending me, like, good ones and, like, everything. Like, I want to mix in some bad ones in there. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:43:57 So I just, I looked at what the animes were called and I looked at, like, the cover thing and some screenshots. I'm like sure let's put this one in there so i'm gonna be watching those uh that'll be fun and i'm sure it'll make some people go insane i cannot wait uh all right let's see we got a weather request for melvich scotland Melvich? Yeah. Melvich, Scotland. Is it spelled like how I think it would be pronounced? Melvich, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Yeah, it is. Woo, that's way up north. Wow. Well, over in Melvich, it's 56 degrees Fahrenheit, 68 degrees as the high, 53 as the low, so I guess it's nighttime. You got 85% humidity humidity 30.2 inches of pressure 10 miles of visibility four mile an hour winds 4 23 a.m sunrise 10 17 p.m sunset wow
Starting point is 00:44:55 that sun sets pretty late uh 52 on the dew point zero on the uv index and a waxing gibbous moon. Looking at the 10 day 74 PM light rain, 62 partly cloudy wind, 61 showers wind, 59 light rain, 58 light rain on Friday, Saturday light rain, 64 Sunday. It's, I'm not gonna lie,
Starting point is 00:45:20 it's literally 60s with rain every day. That's what you're getting there. That's the weather in melvich scotland i'm this place is like north bro north melvich scott let's see it is no i need to see if oh my god it. Yeah. If you are going here, what kind of food? Because it looks like during the summer, it probably gets, you know, 50 degrees, right? But, like, during the winter, is this place frozen? And if that's so, is their food as ridiculous and hearty as I imagine it to be? Well, actually, I just told you the weather. It's 60 degrees.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Well, all right. But 60 still. It's still, like, spring for most places. It's 60 degrees. Well, all right, but 60 still. It's still like spring for most places. It's July and it's 60. You know what I mean? Like, oh, my God. Here we go. The Holladale Inn.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Not the Holiday Inn. The Holladale Inn. The Holladale Inn. Here you go. Look at this. Look at the food at the Holladale Inn. This absolutely is the most. This is like we live in the snow food oh my god
Starting point is 00:46:27 this is snow food what is that a lasagna what is that i see they got blood pudding oh my god the fish and chips is like eat your fish they got bangers and mash i'm looking at i think that's what that is. What did you just say? The fish and chips is like, eat your fish. Eat your fish and chips. Yes, that's what it looks like. I don't know what that means. It's like honking honker. Well, they probably just caught it.
Starting point is 00:46:57 I'm back. Oh, my God. There is something called the Harvest Town Brewery, and their mascot is like a little pissed off mouse, and I love that cup. Oh, my God. Yo, the mac and cheese? No, wait, that's soup?
Starting point is 00:47:15 Oh, boy. Oh, that is a hearty soup. That is a hearty soup. He thought the soup was mac and cheese. My goodness, that is a hearty soup. He thought the soup was mac and cheese. My goodness. That is a hearty soup. Wow. Oh, they have a photo of the vibe.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Oh, my goodness. If you look at the vibe, it looks exactly like how you'd imagine. It is all wood. Everyone there appears to be over 40. And everyone, I'm going to say over 50, maybe. And everyone is just like, oh, back of the D. Oh, wow, the parking lot? Oh, my goodness. So this is like in the middle of, there's like nothing around.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Yeah, you're like in the middle of the highlands. Yo, this is kind of neat. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, you're up in the middle of nowhere yeah this is like if you saw this you'd be like oh this is like from the 1500s or something not the building but like the area like it just looks like a i don't know what's crazy is there's a lot of hotels and almost all of them have four or more stars. Yeah, but I don't see any restaurants outside of the Hallandale Inn. I don't think there are any.
Starting point is 00:48:29 I think this is one of those very small town situations. As I go up the roads towards the sea, there's like one house, two house. There's a few houses here. There's one thing that looks like a very long house. I don't know what the hell. Oh, there's a bus stop. That's good. There's a middle school.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Okay. There's a primary school. There's a lot of community care centers, which I'm not sure if that's the same thing as what I'm thinking. Oh, there's the Coastline Coffee Shop. Oh. And that place literally, oh my God, it's a little tiny hut. That's not a shop. That is a hut.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Wow. And it's like on the, this must be one of those things where people drive up the coast and they stop. This is like when I was in Hawaii and we were driving around, we saw like a little tiny ice cream place on the side of the road along the ocean. We were like, we got to stop. This is what that's like. I think so.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Because. Wow. I don't think anyone's going to live here. There's nothing. I love finding little places like this that are out in the middle of nowhere where you're just like, I don't know who lives there, but bless their sweet souls, I wouldn't. I need people, but it's amazing how this exists. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Okay, so if you go west a bit, in the middle of nowhere, there is... Hold on. There's this place, the Cote du Nord, and this looks like a Michelin star restaurant. Yo! Whoa! Where is this place at? It's like 20 minutes west or something. This place is crazy.
Starting point is 00:50:00 minutes west or something. This place is crazy. Oh, this is this must be a very touristy section of this. Wow. Whoa. This is Michelin. This is like Michelin star quality food. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I would love to eat at this place. Whoa. That looks so creative and good. This reminds me of i saw a reddit post where a guy was like yeah we were in dublin and uh we went to this really quaint looking restaurant turns out it was a michelin star restaurant he posted all the food photos he's like i don't know what the hell we were doing there we didn't belong he's like look what we ate it was crazy looking he's like i don't even know what half of what I put in my body was.
Starting point is 00:50:47 This is wild. It's all just like some little shack house. Like made of bricks. Yeah. That's insane. The street view is... It really is a little tiny shack. You wouldn't even know. How would you know this is, it really is a little tiny shack.
Starting point is 00:51:06 You wouldn't even know. How would you know this is where it was? Yeah, I have no idea. I guess because it has little blue shingles maybe, but it is. When Crandor says it is a shack, it is a small brick home, maybe by today's standards a one-bedroom home. Yeah, it's standards, a one bedroom home. Yeah, it's like a medieval age brick house. Yeah, the only thing new that looks new is they have a bright blue fence and bright blue siding on some parts of the house.
Starting point is 00:51:36 I guess that's how you know that it's like the cut that they know. Yeah. Other than that, it is across the street from it is a field And then down the road Is nothing It looks like Partly nearby next to the building It appears to be a place where they get all their veggies
Starting point is 00:51:55 And or it looks like there's a greenhouse And stuff over there But everything else around it is straight up just There's nothing dog Wow That's fascinating wow well that's actually really cool look at that that's the more it's uh the weather for the what's it called melvich melvich yeah scot Okay. Let's go to sports. Sports.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Let's see. As we typically have, football getting ready to get going over in the NFL. Still waiting for training camp. NBA's got summer league going on, which is like, okay. It's a bunch of the rookies and players trying to make the team just playing. It's all right. NHL draft happened so the number one pick was uh yuraj slefkovsky i think i said it wrong i'm sure you did and i just know the blackhawks traded away the Brinkett, who's one of their best scorers, just to rebuild, even though they're already rebuilding.
Starting point is 00:53:07 So I know what they're doing. Let's see. Any cool NHL draft names? Frank Nazar. Logan Cooley. Cutter Gauthier. No, Cutter Gauthier. That's a cool name.
Starting point is 00:53:23 You know what? You're butchering all this, but Ichering all this But I'm here for it Jimmy Snuggerud Jimmy Snuggerud Jimmy Snuggerud is a great name Hold on Jimmy Snuggerud
Starting point is 00:53:37 Is this his name It is look at this Here he is Elite Prospects Jimmy Snuggerud Snuggerud is a great name Look at this. Here he is. Elite Prospects. Jimmy Snuggerud. Snuggerud is a great name. It would be better if his name was Snuggerug.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Jimmy Snuggerug. Yeah, there's some cool names up there. Ivan Miroshnyshenko. Yep. You're trying. Bless your sweet soul. I'm trying. And yeah, then we got baseball.
Starting point is 00:54:12 You got the Yankees in first, the Twins in first, the Astros in first, the Mets in first, although only by a game and a half now, the Brewers in first, and the Dodgers in first. And I mean, we still got
Starting point is 00:54:25 half a season to go still with baseball. So that's sports. All right. What is our fact of the day? About one cluster of grapes makes up one glass of wine. This is around 75 grapes. Damn, that's a lot of grapes in that
Starting point is 00:54:41 wine. I like how it's the fact that you're most qualified to talk about. I like wine. I like grapes. There's a lot of grapes in wine. There's a lot of grapes in wine. More at 11. Yep, there you go.
Starting point is 00:54:59 That's the fact of the day. That's all I got. All right. So what is our big news story of the day. That's all I got. All right. So what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. We got a Florida man special. Oh, thank God. We need one.
Starting point is 00:55:15 Now more than ever, he must return. And he has. Florida man who evaded deputies by jumping into swamp, arrested after trying to outrun authorities on lawnmower. I have so many questions. There's a lot to that story. There's a lot. Okay, hit me.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Seven months after a Florida man jumped into a panhandle swamp to avoid being arrested, he was taken into custody after trying to outrun law enforcement on a riding lawnmower. Wait, so he escaped in the swamp? Or did they catch him then as well? I don't know. In January, deputies met up with Dusty Mobley, 40, of Holt, along the Yellow River to serve warrants and talk with him about a $40,000 stolen boat.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Investigators say Mobley had used heavy machinery cutting a hole in a metal building to steal the vessel from a business in Baker, Florida. What? Dude just like drove up, like carved a hole into a building and took the boat. Deputies say Mobley was
Starting point is 00:56:17 on the stolen boat when they arrived, but he dove off the side and disappeared into the swamp to avoid going to jail. Yes, my man. When deputies caught up with Mobley again on Saturday, they say he tried to escape arrest by jumping on a John Deere riding lawnmower. Why do you think that would work?
Starting point is 00:56:39 Why, Mobley? When deputies gave chase and ended up pasing Mobley, oh, they gave chase and ended up pasing Mobley. Oh, they gave chase and ended up pasing Mobley before taking him into custody. Here is Mobley on the lawnmower. That is, it looks like he's trying to drift. It looks like he's trying to like lawnmower drift. And it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. He's like, yeah, he's trying to do like a spin.
Starting point is 00:57:06 He's just got that hat trying to do like a spin Um Have you seen Yeah have you seen just the face of His face oh my god Oh yeah that's yeah He looks so sad like they finally caught me I mean I'd be sad too he escaped once In the swamp I guess you would think that a guy
Starting point is 00:57:24 Would be if he was able to escape the police, you'd figure he'd be smarter than to jump on a lawnmower, but he did escape them by jumping in a potentially deadly situation in a swamp. That's true. He was like, you know what, I'm gonna jump in the swamp. It's the safest bet. Alright, he didn't really think that one through, so I guess
Starting point is 00:57:40 it checks out. Yep. Mobley had a revolver and a handcuff key in his possession. A handcuff key? Oh my god. He and a handcuff key in his possession along handcuff key oh my god a handcuff key he was ready he was ready uh along with a pipe with methamphetamine residue well of course of course um uh mobile is facing charges of grand theft grand theft of a vehicle felony criminal mischief two counts of resisting an officer, possession of a concealed weapon by a felon, carrying a concealed handcuff, key possession of drug paraphernalia, and felony failure to appear. No bond. Yep.
Starting point is 00:58:17 No bond. No bond. All right. Well, that is it for this show. Thank you so much for listening or watching. I hope you're enjoying this podcast. Crendor. Hitting with the socials.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Socials. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. Get all the podcasts up over there on YouTube. Subscribe. Click the bell. Be super notified whenever these get uploaded. Also, you go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. That's where all the animations are. Do the same thing
Starting point is 00:58:46 over there. We also are on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud, and various other podcasting platforms. Follow us on our main things. We got YouTube.com Jesse Cox, YouTube.com slash Crandor, Twitch TV Jesse Cox, Twitch TV Crandor, Patreon Jesse Cox, Patreon Crandor,
Starting point is 00:59:01 Facebook Jesse Cox, Facebook Crandor, Twitter Jesse Cox, Twitter Crandor, TikTok Crandor, TikTok Jesse Cox, TikToks. I, Crendor. Facebook, Jessica Cox. Facebook, Crendor. Twitter, Jessica Cox. Twitter, Crendor. TikTok, Crendor. TikTok, Jesse Cox. TikToks. I think that's it, right? You're doing it. You're doing it, pal.
Starting point is 00:59:13 YouTube.com slash Warhammer, Crendor. If you like Warhammer, YouTube.com slash Crenclips. If you like clips of my stream and you don't want to actually watch my streams. All right. That's it. We'll see you all next time. That's it. We'll see you all next time. And as always, to be continued.

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