Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 365 - Like A Real Morning Show

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

The boys return and once again it's time for a quick look into Black Friday. They boys have stories, which suprusingly have little to do with the actual day. Then Jesse brings some interesting facts a...bout food to which Crendor brings even more interesting facts. It's that kind of episode that makes you think maybe they're good at this. Maybe. All this and witch resturant on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://getquip.com/crendor to get your first refill free. Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 20% off plus free shipping.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is going to get your mouth looking amazing. Also today, we're brought to you by me undies. Me undies are the undies that I have on me. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4 hour recording studio. Recording. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Crandall in the Morning. Whoa, yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. You rose out of a tube on the moon. Read Repulsa there. It's like the Power Rangers guy. Ivan Ooze or whatever. He's coming out of
Starting point is 00:00:57 the ooze sewer. Can I tell you? The other day, I was on YouTube's short thing. know because sometimes when you Bring it up on your phone it's the first thing it appears for some Reason now And the first thing I got was Part 18 of
Starting point is 00:01:14 The Power Rangers movie I guess Someone put all 18 parts And I'm not lying when I say I watched From part 18 to the end of the film on this person's Channel But only through shorts so it's like Two minutes at a time when I say I watched from part 18 to the end of the film on this person's channel. But only through his shorts.
Starting point is 00:01:29 So it was like two minutes at a time. That's so crazy. I just kept scrolling through them. Loved it. Loved every minute of it. I forgot at one point the Power Rangers are on another planet and like a naked Amazonian woman guides them.
Starting point is 00:01:45 And I forgot that all those things that Ivan Ooze, he spits out minions. It's, you know what? It's a bad movie, but I loved it. Love it. So good. Yeah, that's a Power Rangers staple. Yeah, I see that. What's crazy is the special effects are terrible.
Starting point is 00:02:04 And I seem to recall them being amazing Looking back they are bad dude They are bad Oh yeah I mean when I saw it I was like 7 or something I don't know So obviously when you're 7 you're like Woo I think that was 7th grade for me I think
Starting point is 00:02:19 Yeah that would probably check out I remember the Thing was This is how I know When kids say they like something ironically It's all a lie Because my friends and I in high school All the high school boys
Starting point is 00:02:35 Loved Power Rangers But we'd pretend for the girls That it was an ironic kind of love We know it's stupid But we'd all be like, oh my god, dude Did you see when Tommy didy did that thing that was it was all fake yeah it's uh you know oh my god that reminds me perfect uh segue here so uh-huh on uh did you do anything on black Friday? I did nothing. I have a whole story, but I'll save it for you. All right.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Mine's not too long anyway. Okay. I wasn't going to do anything, and then I had to go to Target, so I was like, I guess I'll just go to Target. So I went to Target at like, I don't know, 7 p.m., and I was walking around, pretty much nothing I wanted. On Black Friday? No one's out Friday night. Well, yeah, that's why I wanted. I was like, whatever. On Black Friday?
Starting point is 00:03:26 No one's out Friday night. Well, yeah, that's why I went at like 7 p.m. There's still people. Okay. There's still people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. I thought you were talking about like crazy people, but you're talking about stores. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Yeah, I'm just talking about going to the store or whatever. Like, okay, walking around, you know, it's crowded, but nothing out of the ordinary. And I was like, they had DVDs. You buy two, get one free or something i was like i don't care right like they're like oh if you buy shrek 2 and like tim allen santa claus you can buy monsters inc for free i don't care that's a steal that's a steal uh then they had some other stuff like whatever so i just walked around i didn't get anything but i heard a crazy quote all right so so i was by the uh video game section so i was like maybe they got some crazy video game stuff and right next to there is like the book section there are
Starting point is 00:04:17 these two high school girls talking and she said maybe the most high school quote I have ever heard. Go on. She said, and I quote, like, whenever I don't feel like doing something, I feel like a lame loser. But lately, I've been being a lame loser just to be a lame loser. I've never felt more seen in my entire life. I've never felt more seen in my entire life. That actually does kind of sound like something you'd relate to. Am I a high school girl?
Starting point is 00:04:54 Is that what we've discovered? I heard that, and I was like, I got to write that down. That is a quote for the ages. Sometimes I feel like I say stuff like that, and no one corrects me on it. That's what you need. You need somebody to just correct you on it and say, you know what? It's alright to be a lame loser
Starting point is 00:05:16 sometimes. Sometimes you gotta embrace being a lame loser. Just to be a lame loser. As our dear friend Spongebob said, sometimes it's okay to be a goofy goober. Yeah. Rock. Rock.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Rock. Great movie. Well, my day was not good at all. All right. So the night before, I had come back from my parents' house, and we did the whole Thanksgiving thing together. That was fun. We watched the dog show.
Starting point is 00:05:53 I love watching the dog show because I get to see all the dogs, and 90% of them are ridiculous looking. I love a good, ridiculous looking dog. So we did all that. I came home, and as I think I was – I don't know when I noticed this, but all, as I was going to my apartment, all the lights within, I'm going to say a mile of the apartment building, all the lights were off. I was like, hmm, interesting. So I got closer to the apartment and I noticed all the lights in the buildings, not just street lights or stoplights, all the building lights are off.
Starting point is 00:06:25 I was like, hmm, interesting. So then I get to my apartment, press the garage door opener, and it works. So I'm like, oh, well, the power must not be off. So then I go down to the garage. The lights in the garage are on. I'm like, huh, okay. Walk over to the elevator, press the elevator button. Elevator works.
Starting point is 00:06:44 I go up to my apartment. I, you know, walk into okay. Walk over to the elevator, press the elevator button. Elevator works. I go up to my apartment. I, you know, walk into it. The lights work. But I do see that the clock on the stove and the microwave are flashing. I'm like, oh, maybe the power just went out and it just came on. Like, as I got back, I was like, all right, well, that was lucky. Then I go to take out some trash. And as I'm taking out trash And putting it down the garbage chute
Starting point is 00:07:05 I hear the elevator Ding and so someone's getting in the elevator I walk around towards the elevator And as I'm almost by it I hear Like The sound of gears and metal breaking Oh boy And I'm like what the hell
Starting point is 00:07:21 And I look at the elevator and it's clearly coming from the elevator I'm like Nah and I just go back to my apartment? And I look at the elevator and it's clearly coming from the elevator. I'm like, nah. And I just go back to my apartment. I didn't want anything to do with it. I didn't want anything. I was like, I got time for this. I'm going to bed.
Starting point is 00:07:33 So that whatever happened happened. Wake up the next morning and there is caution tape over the elevator. I have no idea what happened, but something, they're not letting us over the elevator. I have no idea what happened, but they're not letting us in the elevator. And I was like, all right, well, maybe they'll fix it. So I come into the office. I record some stuff with Gerard, and then I head home at night. Still not fixed. So now, just for the record, my parking spot is on basement level two all right my apartment is on the fifth floor
Starting point is 00:08:10 so i am at minimum doing seven uh flights they're not like one up and over i'm talking like each floor is four half flights of stairs so four times seven is what I'm doing up to get to the top. I'm going to let you know. I've had to do that. It still isn't fixed, by the way. It is Sunday, still not fixed. I've been having to walk up and down those damn stairs to get anything. Mail, to go out.
Starting point is 00:08:40 My calves hurt so much, dude. I'm over it. I've never been like, I just want an elevator so badly. I am broken. And they haven't fixed it. They haven't fixed it. There's a, like, the elevator does not work. I don't know what's going on with it, but I think I was there to witness it break.
Starting point is 00:08:58 And was like, nah, I ain't got time for that. So that's what I've been doing. And so what I've been trying to do is make it so if I have to go out, I go out for a long time so I don't have to walk up the stairs as much. That's where I'm at mentally. If I'm going out, I'm out all day. If I go up those stairs, I'm
Starting point is 00:09:15 not coming back out. That's me. That's what I've been doing. You're getting exercise then. Yeah. I guess you could look at it like that Or you could look at it like It's now a pain in the ass to do everything Such a hassle Well I mean it is seemingly a pain in the ass
Starting point is 00:09:36 To do everything But you know you just gotta see the bright side You're like wow I'm getting in my exercise I'm telling you One night I came home And I was very very tired And I totally forgot I had to walk up the stairs
Starting point is 00:09:51 And I was like eff it I'm just going to do it all I'm just going to try to get up as fast as possible I just want to get into bed And I tried to like sprint up those stairs I can confirm I probably almost died I got into my apartment And my heart was like beating in my throat up those stairs, I can confirm I probably almost died.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I got into my apartment, and my heart was, like, beating in my throat. I was like, this is not good. I was like, I've never felt my heart. It was, like, pumping. It was like, why, bro? Why'd you do that, dude? I was like, I'm so sorry. I sat on my couch, and I was like, I may die right here.
Starting point is 00:10:26 I've never I like felt fine. I wasn't like dizzy or anything, but honest to God, my heart has never pumped that hard. Note to self, don't do that ever again. That shit was scary. It was like, I was like, whoa.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Wait, how long were you sprinting upstairs? From the second, whatever the four times seven is. Four times seven, 28? It wasn't long, but imagine, so like each half flight is, we'll say seven steps. And between each floor Is four half flights It like goes in sort of a box you know
Starting point is 00:11:09 So you're doing four So seven So it's seven times four And then that number times seven floors It wasn't long It's just a lot of them So I wasn't walking up the stairs a long time I was trying to
Starting point is 00:11:25 get up as fast as i could but it was i would say like three minutes maybe but that three minutes was like fool jesse trying to get to the top of these stairs as fast as possible lesson learned don't do that don't do that it reminds me of when i uh started working out after now working out for like all the covid and i remember, I remember I got like nauseous because I was just like, after like doing so much exercise, you just like overexert yourself better. I'm like, dehydrator didn't eat enough or something.
Starting point is 00:11:54 But I remember, I mean, it's only happened like right when I hadn't worked out for a while. And you're just like, sit down, you know. Well, I do understand because my thought process, if I can walk you through it, was I can manage these stairs fine. It's not a big deal. I don't like doing it. But, you know, it's fine. I'm not like out of breath or anything.
Starting point is 00:12:17 You know, going up and down them after a while, it does hurt my legs. But it's not, you know, it's like whatever. You're doing a bunch of stairs. It's fine. hurt my legs, but it's not, you know, it's like, whatever, you're doing a bunch of stairs. It's fine. So my thought process was, well, if that's fine, then I could just get up these real quick and, you know, I don't have to struggle through climbing up a bunch of stairs when really I can just get through it fast.
Starting point is 00:12:36 And so my legs won't hurt, right? That's my thought process. Like instead of doing slow up the stairs, I'm doing super fast up the stairs. And admittedly, my legs did not Hurt but My heart was like Pumping Lesson learned
Starting point is 00:12:53 And who Would have known this all came from Hearing the elevator break Yep that's that's what brought It on oh my god speaking of Dude so much dumb shit happened to me this week I was Driving with my mom
Starting point is 00:13:10 Because I had to take her to her storage unit And as I'm taking her Back to her place A dude like On a bike Bolts out in front of me From his side of the lane He's in the opposite lane from his side through my lane.
Starting point is 00:13:29 And then as I'm driving signals for me to slow down and starts yelling at me to slow down because he's trying to bring his girlfriend across the street. And I'm like, timeout. How dare you? I have the right of way here, my man. There is no doubt. He went across the lane, ditched his girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:13:52 and then yelled at me because I was preventing his girlfriend from crossing. Just wait the three seconds it takes me to pass you, dude. I couldn't figure out. I was like, this guy is just upset that he ditched his girlfriend, and now he's trying to push the blame on me. It wouldn't be a fun month without a crazy traffic story.
Starting point is 00:14:12 And you know what? It was at the exact same intersection, by the way. Wait, has every single thing happened at that intersection? Yeah, that intersection is everything that happens happens there. Is that the one with the gas station? No, this is the one that's sort of by my house, but there's a hotel there now. So people are just vacationing when they're going biking in LA? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:40 It's a weekend, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a weekend, of course. My entire area of LA used to be like an old run-down Shinto monastery or some shit. And like a beach no one went to. And old apartments that nobody lived in. And weird restaurants that were kind of run down. And a mini-mart that had, you know, 90% of its shelves were empty most of the time. Right?
Starting point is 00:15:08 It was a weird section of the city. Not many people lived here. It was just a bunch of old people. Loved it. Very quiet. Loved it. Over the last 10 years, yeah, 10 years now, over the last 10 years, the area that I live in has torn all that down and instead built apartments
Starting point is 00:15:26 and hotels. So many apartments and hotels. And now all the apartments around me are super expensive. We're talking 6,000 plus for a one bedroom. Insane. Oh my God. And all the hotels around me are like pretty fancy hotels. So everyone in this area is not only doing the vacation thing,
Starting point is 00:15:49 but they're also, half the time, the kids of rich people. So they have the attitude to begin with. So the whole area is just attitude. It's what I imagine actual living in Hollywood is like, kind of. I hate it. I don't know why, of all the places you'd want to go biking, you would pick Los Angeles. You can go anywhere.
Starting point is 00:16:14 You can go to the woods. You can go to the mountains. You can go, I don't know, just like any place. Like, let's go biking in LA. Well, my area is Where Santa Monica and Venice are Which is a real touristy spot And there's a lot of bike path areas So there's a lot
Starting point is 00:16:32 Of biking that goes on in this area People will go down to the beach And they'll bike on the beach And there's bike paths that take you all over this area of the city So it like checks out why they would Do it here, it's that kind of community Again, unlike most of LA It's pretty quiet is, is that the people who come to the area aren't, they don't live here. Most of the people that like most of the apartments that are in my
Starting point is 00:16:54 area now, it's a big problem. All those $6,000 apartments that no one with a brain will rent are now being rented by companies who then are subleasing them as airbnbs ah i see and yeah and so now a lot of the people in the area i think i mentioned this the one of the apartments the one of the units next to me is clearly an airbnb for someone and the the car that parks there next to my spot is a different car every few days And I you know The hotel or not the hotel The apartment complex was like Well you know
Starting point is 00:17:32 Because of this Airbnb stuff That's why our rent keeps going up They keep you know messing with the market And so like if you see someone Who's Airbnb-ing let us know So we can make sure to kick them out And I was like, okay. So I once told them, and they were like, have you ever seen this before?
Starting point is 00:17:49 Is this something that happens often? I said, yeah. Would you like me to take a picture or something? They're like, yeah, if you could gather us a bunch of evidence. And I was like, whoa, wait. Whoa. That's not my job. You should be the ones every day going to the parking lot and looking to see what cars
Starting point is 00:18:06 are like. How is this my responsibility? Like, well, if you could just let us know if you see another car, I was like, I don't care that much. So, yeah, that's that's that's the situation around me. It's I imagine it's a lot of L.A. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:22 A lot of people are talking about online how Airbnb is kind of going under, but here in LA, even, even my office that I'm in right now, I came up, I think I told you this. I came up here the other day and a van, like a van with a bunch of very pale white people was in the driveway and I couldn't, you know, get in. So I, you know So after I got in, they followed me and they were like, excuse me, we're looking for a place to stay in this complex. And I'm like, uh-huh. I mean, it's mostly rental units. Like, oh no, no, we Airbnb. I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess you should contact the person. I'm like, how do we contact him? I'm like, I don't know. It's like there's a
Starting point is 00:19:09 call box right over there. You should have taken a video for the apartment people like, hold on, you said you're staying at an Airbnb at this apartment complex. They'd be like, yeah. Well, this is my office. Dude, this wasn't even my apartment. This was my office. This someone, the place I'm, just let this sink in.
Starting point is 00:19:27 The place I have my office at is a place where many other influencers and up-and-coming entrepreneurs have offices. Two people live here. The people that own the property and this older couple that's kind of like cuckoo bananas. But other than that, everyone else just works here and is gone. Someone clearly rented a place or bought a place here and is now renting it out. And so now this place that has like four levels of security to get in, some random dudes from, I think, Norway came over here and are, like, trying to get in, and no one's here to greet them, and they're asking me to help. And because I'm just like, I don't know how to help you guys.
Starting point is 00:20:16 They're now mad at me because I'm not telling them how to contact a person. And I'm like, I don't know where you're staying. I don't know what you're doing. You rolled up in a van that looks like you smuggle kids. None of this seems like I should be involved. Yeah, that's the best course of action. You just don't get involved. Yeah, so I was like, there's a callbacks right over there.
Starting point is 00:20:35 You just go over to the call box, press the button. You should be able to get a hold of them. He's like, okay, thank you for nothing. I'm like, what do you want me to do, man? Oh, man? Oh man. That's, uh, that's a,
Starting point is 00:20:51 it's a fun time over in the old Los Angeles. This is why I don't know. I don't like the big cities. I don't like being in the city city, you know, but I can get why people like it. So while we're going to a totally different topic now it's what i'll say is the segway yeah i found so last week we talked about
Starting point is 00:21:14 um you know it might have been last week remember the week before but the idea of uh food not being originally from the place it was Oh yeah I remember that How tomato sauce wasn't originally From Italy I found A complete Guide to things like this And I just wanted to tell you
Starting point is 00:21:38 Some of the crazy ones Because it is totally fascinating And some of them genuinely are like No So is totally fascinating and some of them genuinely are like no um so this is a surprising list of recently invented foods this is recently invented okay nachos were invented in 1940s mexico okay. I mean, that checks out. I mean, like, that kind of checks out.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Like, that seems like an easy start. Then you have Spaghetti Carbonara. Classic, but only from 1940. Wait, which one's Carbonara? It's, you know, you got, like, the tomatoes and the oil and stuff in it. Oh, yeah, that one. All right. 1944 is when that one's from.
Starting point is 00:22:29 You figure that would be like an old standard because it seems so simple. The ingredients, it isn't a lot, you know. I mean, I guess that's when a lot of people started coming here from different countries and stuff. So they were probably just inventing new dishes to bring over. Like, I don't know. Like, this is what I used to eat there in the army. Unless it was just, like, actually in Italy. Yeah, Italy.
Starting point is 00:22:53 This is in Italy. Oh. All right, never mind. That's cool. Yeah. Because I know, isn't it a thing where, like, a lot of American Chinese food was made by, like, Chinese immigrants here?
Starting point is 00:23:04 Yes. The most popular dish in America, General Tso's chicken or General Chow's chicken, whatever you want to say, was created in the 1970s because they were looking for a Chinese food taste that Americans would like. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, there's actually a pretty interesting documentary. I think it might be on Netflix about these guys going over to China and asking, like, do you know who this is?
Starting point is 00:23:33 Is this general even a real person? And they're like, we don't know what that is. What kind of chicken? They have no clue. It's very interesting. It's very interesting Another one that I think is interesting Is Currywurst Is from 1949
Starting point is 00:23:50 Germany And the reason why is because allied troops Were stationed there and the Americans had ketchup And the British had curry powder And there were a lot of cheap local sausages So Currywurst Which I think is super interesting This one Is one of my absolute favorites.
Starting point is 00:24:07 Mongolian barbecue. Where do you think that's from? I mean, obviously, you'd say Mongolia. Totally not true. Mongolian barbecue is from 1951 Taiwan. And originally, it was going to be called Beijing Barbecue, but it was too politically sensitive. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:24:31 So they just picked Mongolia? So they named it Mongolian Barbecue. Yeah, yeah. They just picked some kind of Mongolia. That sounds good. Yeah, so it was, you know, the concept, I mean, maybe the concept could stem from Mongolia, but I don't, yeah, it's just a weird-ass thing. So it was, you know, the concept, I mean, maybe the concept could stem from Mongolia,
Starting point is 00:24:49 but I don't, yeah, it's just a weird ass thing. Interesting. Yep. Another one, and that's another one, 1962, Hawaiian pizza. Where do you think that's from? I'll say Hawaii just to, you know, be the person like, oh, could it be Hawaii? Hawaiian pizza? Hawaiian pizza pizza pineapples ham everything yeah canada oh yeah i could i could see it stemming from canada yep well why do they
Starting point is 00:25:14 call it hawaii is just because of the pineapple yeah that's it and uh wait hold on but what about canadians did they call it hawaiian pizza yeah yeah Canadians? Did they call it Hawaiian pizza? Yeah, yeah But why did they call it Hawaiian pizza? They invented it in Canada Dude, I wish I could give you an answer I wish I could give you an answer The next one
Starting point is 00:25:39 The Donner Kebab Sandwich A classic staple of most of Europe It's from 1960s Germany Oh that's crazy Which again Again it rings to me as Very much like Currywurst It rings to me like
Starting point is 00:25:57 Immigrants bringing food And then they altered it in some way Yeah I think that's what a lot of People did Just kind of altering what they knew And it makes sense to me food and then they altered it in some way. Yeah. I think that's what a lot of people did. Just kind of altering what they knew. And it makes sense to me. Tiramisu. Actually, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:15 I would just say France, right? Tiramisu, Italy in the 1960s. I thought for sure this was like in the 1800s they were making Tiramisu. No. 1960s. I thought for sure this was like in the 1800s. They were making tiramisu. No, no. 1960s tiramisu.
Starting point is 00:26:29 I just realized all the Italian places serve tiramisu. I don't know why I said France. I think it just feels like a French thing. I like the coffee or espresso thing. I like the cake. They make good France. Sure. and the cake, they like baked goods, France.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Sure. The famous chicken tikka masala. Where's it from? Man, I would say India, but it's probably going to be like England or something. Absolutely. England in the 1970s. Again, immigrants making stuff
Starting point is 00:27:06 that they thought English people would eat. So instead of a butter chicken thing, they made chicken tikka masala, which is probably because they had chicken tikka, and then they were like, well, let's make this masala thing. And they're like, okay. I think that's probably along the same lines as General Tso's chicken. Oh, yeah, probably. Okay, here's another one california pizza rolls are not pizza rolls uh sushi rolls pizza roll um uh i don't know japan nope nope here's the thing. This is my favorite one.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Some people say America, obviously. Right. But a lot of people are saying it was invented in Canada. Oh. Canada. Which I think is super interesting because the concept of a California roll to me never made any sense because it's like mayo and avocado and like fake crab and shit and you're like what is this that makes sense to me yeah i mean now that i think about it like you think about you got your yeah your fake crab it's like the fake people of los angeles you got your avocado
Starting point is 00:28:18 california loves avocados okay and then. You just slather around there. That's the American part. It certainly is. It's something all right. And then we also have, and I'm going to save the best one for last. All right. But salmon sushi. Where does salmon sushi come from? I mean
Starting point is 00:28:46 I guess I'd say Japan Even though it's probably not going to be Japan So here's the thing If you were to go to Japan and ask for salmon sushi They would immediately know you're not from Japan Because Pacific salmon Is littered with parasites
Starting point is 00:29:02 And so If you are eating fish in the Pacific Ocean You cannot eat salmon Because they have these parasites that are basically invisible And so that shit will make you so sick Interesting Instead A place where they don't have
Starting point is 00:29:18 All the other fish They don't have like unagi and stuff Another place, the place where this originally comes from Norway Ah They don't have like unagi and stuff Another place, the place where this originally comes from Norway Ah Sam and Sushi was invented In Norway in the 1980s Wow
Starting point is 00:29:33 The 80s Yeah dude, the 80s It's always crazy because it's like some of these things feel like they're really old And it's literally like It happened when I was born That's what i'm saying another one bubble tea should make perfect sense um where do you think bubble tea's from uh i mean probably like i'm gonna say uh. I mean, very close.
Starting point is 00:30:05 Taiwan. Very close. But that's the 1980s as well, which I feel like that seems like, okay, yeah, the 1980s. I never really saw it before that, but it also seems like it's been around so long that you kind of suspect it to be older. Yeah, like it's everywhere. People buy it all the time. You would think it's been around since mid-1950 or something.
Starting point is 00:30:28 I don't know. Here's another one. Poutine. I mean, it's Canada, but maybe it's France. Definitely Canada. 1950s. So Poutine is pretty new. Buffalo Wings.
Starting point is 00:30:44 It's America as shit, but that's the 60s Wow the 60s That's what I'm saying The 60s It wasn't until the 60s people were like Let's make a hot sauce wing thing Another one that I'm absolutely obsessed with Is the fact that the lava cake
Starting point is 00:31:00 You know it's the chocolate cake Where the center is like ooey gooey Where do you think that's from I'm not gonna lie I only ever see this at like dominoes It is from France Oh okay And you would think oh it's from France That must be like an old recipe
Starting point is 00:31:23 From like 1981 It is Oh, it's from France. That must be like an old recipe from like 1981. It is as old as me. Oh, yeah. I guess it would be. Wow. 1981. 1981. And then my favorite one, your favorite bread, ciabatta, or as the Crandor, ciabatta.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Yeah. Where's that from? I don't know, Italy? Italy is correct. Invented in 1982. 82? I know, dude. That one blew my mind.
Starting point is 00:32:03 I was like, no, no That one blew my mind. I was like, no. No. Blew my mind. Yeah, that's like something you would think has been around since medieval ages. It looks like a medieval bread. It looks like a bread that an old king would eat. It has the look of it and still no. 1982. Bring me the ciabatta.
Starting point is 00:32:23 1982. Blew my mind. I was like, shut up. That's crazy. Those are just a little bit of the many. There's other things on here that's like carpaccio, which I don't think anyone cares about, or sticky toffee pie was invented in England in the 1960s. Things like that.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Which you're like, all right, I guess I could see how you could end up from a figgy pudding to a sticky toffee. I guess the trend. But some of these on here, it's just like, yeah. You got this bread that looks like it's from Roman times, invented in the 80s. Wacky. Yeah, that's wild. You know what? That was a fun little thing. That was a fun little segment. Look at that. Yeah, that's wild. You know what? That was a fun little thing.
Starting point is 00:33:05 That was a fun little segment. Look at that. Yeah, look at that. That was like something you'd hear on an actual morning show. Sometimes we're like that. Sometimes. Sometimes. Other times, God knows what we do here.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Well, you know what? Just like other morning shows, we have ads, too. Yeah! Woo! Well, you know what? Just like other morning shows, we have ads too. Whoa. Yeah. Woo. And one of those ads is for Quip. Holiday traditions, man, there are some good ones out there. But what if you make it your tradition to start off your new year?
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Starting point is 00:34:17 I got many steps, but one of those steps involves using my Quip toothbrush and getting in there and doing my two minutes every time you brush. That's like the dentist recommended. You got that two minute brush and Quip makes it great because every 30 seconds there's like a little, like a sonic vibration timer thing. And it lets you know, Hey, I'm going to like do the different quadrants of my mouth. And so I'll do like bottom right, then bottom left, then top right, then top left. And then at the end I'll do one big all over just for fun. And it's part of my habits. It's what I do. The brush is lightweight. The design is sleek.
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Starting point is 00:35:42 Go to getquip.com slash Crendor right now and get a free refill. Plus, the best part is, it's Quip's lowest prices of the year for the holiday season. So be sure to check it out. Go to getquip.com slash Crendor. Quip, it's a good habits company. Also, today we're brought to you by MeUndies. The holidays are officially upon us and it's time good habits company. Also, today we're brought to you by MeUndies. The holidays are officially upon us, and it's time to start celebrating. Like, you know, actually celebrating.
Starting point is 00:36:10 You know what I mean? It's your holiday. Do whatever the hell you want to do. Relax. Go out. Get involved in a seasonally themed romantic sitcom that ends up on the Hallmark Channel. Whatever the hell you want to do, you can do it your way with MeUndies. Once those MeUndies are on, you're going to float through life.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Let me tell you, you're going to have clouds on your tush. They are so good. They're the only underwear that I wear. And really, most people I know at this point, we've talked them into it, Crandor. Most people I know, they are MeUndies users. Truth-er. So get your holiday shopping started and finished early by making some time for yourself to go over to MeUndies and check out their holiday collection. They've got undies, they've got loungewear, they've got sleepwear, and they are made of the softest, most supple fabric you've ever felt and are guaranteed to bring you comfort and joy for all your loved ones, but mostly yourself.
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Starting point is 00:37:22 To get 20% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to MeUndies.com slash Crandor. That's MeUndies.com slash Crandor. That's me. All right, Crandor, let's go to traffic. Let's go to the traffic. Let's go to the traffic.
Starting point is 00:37:37 Oh, boy, traffic is wild. There's bike people yelling at people. There's car people yelling at bike people. There's people throwing stuff at I don't know, traffic. There's traffic throwing stuff at the throwers. There's helicopters. There's airplanes.
Starting point is 00:37:56 It's prime holiday traffic and the jolliest time of the year. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go to Crandor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather. You like that one?
Starting point is 00:38:13 I was drinking water. Yes, I love it. All right, perfect. This week's weather, we've got a request for Delizard Cornwall, England. Delizard? Sounds like a rapper I've never heard of. The Lizard. The Lizard. Well, it says
Starting point is 00:38:31 The Lizard. Well, I want a rapper named The Lizard now. I do too. Well, when I look it up, there is no The. It's just Lizard England. It is right at the bottom of England in a country called Cornwall. It has its own language similar to Welsh and Celtic people of unique ethnic identity,
Starting point is 00:38:50 and it's very, very remote and very different to the rest of the country. Fun fact, Cornwall is home to pirates and smuggling are also the places called Lizard. I'm looking at it. I see the Lizard. Yeah. Over in Lizard, England. It is 52 degrees Fahrenheit. You got rain possible overnight.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Looking at the old forecast here, you got a high of 46 is what it's going to be feeling like. Low 51. Humidity 79%. Very humid. Pressure 29.76. Visibility, 9 miles an hour. Winds gusting at 19 miles an hour. You got a 753 a.m. sunrise, 423 p.m. sunset.
Starting point is 00:39:33 You're hitting that 45 on the dew point. UV index, 0 of 10 with a waxing crescent moon. Take a look at the 10-day. We've got Monday, partly cloudy with wind, 53 degrees. Tuesday, 52, partly cloudy. Wednesday, 53, partly cloudy. Then you're going to start dipping. Partly cloudy, 49 on Thursday.
Starting point is 00:39:55 And then 49 on Friday with rain. Saturday, 47 with rain and wind. And then from there on out, it's just in the high 40s with rain. Hopefully you like that weather. I imagine if you live there, you're either enjoying it or you're used to it, one of the two. So I'm looking at the map right now. I believe, unless I'm corrected otherwise by people listening,
Starting point is 00:40:16 this is the southernmost point of England? Looks like it, yeah. Yeah, everyone's saying that the shoreline is jagged rock and its waters are known as the ship graveyard this place is great yeah this place is great oh look at this here's something the name lizard is most probably a corruption of the cornish name lizard meaning high court it is purely coincidental that much of the peninsula is composed of serpentine bearing rock the peninsula's original name may have been the celtic pred pred and predanak yeah i think that's it exactly yeah there you go look at that that's pretty cool what's there to even do there though
Starting point is 00:40:58 yeah what is there in lizard it looks like it looks like almost like a state park. This is like the Florida of England when you look at it. It's just going the opposite way. I mean, it kind of is, yeah. Yeah, it does appear to be a bunch of state park stuff. There's one road in, really, to Lizard. There's one road in, and it's the Lighthouse Road. There's a restaurant called the witch ball i'm sorry where is the witch ball the witch ball 15th century free house
Starting point is 00:41:32 bro what where yeah which ball actually looks pretty good i see wave crest i see cornish ice creams i see mungo lils on the hill what is mungo lils on the hill. What is mungo lils on the hill? Mungo lils? This place looks uh... Yes. Alright. I see your witch ball. Alright. And I raise you. Mungo lils on the hill.
Starting point is 00:41:58 This place looks exactly like a shop on the side of the road in Florida. Oh my god. That is an ornament I would buy. This whole thing is like little tiny beachside ornament things and little tchotchkes. Oh, I love it. That is fantastic. Cornish gift shop. Oh, I absolutely love everything about it.
Starting point is 00:42:16 It's got a little rabbit on it. This is good, but the witch ball. Oh, damn. It literally looks like an old-timey. Yo. Yeah. Oh, wow. looks like an old timey Yo Yeah Oh wow it does look old as shit It reminds me of the Hobbit pub
Starting point is 00:42:31 Yeah The Hobbit pub looked old as shit and this looks just like it Yo what the hell man This seafood actually looks really good But they probably like pulled it out of the ocean that day They probably did You know they did Yeah I'm looking at the ocean that day. Oh, they probably did. You know, they did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:45 I'm looking at the muscles and stuff. They got like a full on crab. Oh, this is, this is how you know, like this should be a lesson in what to buy or what not to buy. Right. You have an English, uh, you know, like a Sunday roast thing on the first image. And that's, it looks all right. Then you have this giant fish and chips.
Starting point is 00:43:03 And I'm like, I'd eat that. And you have this giant ass crab. I'm like, I'd eat that. Then you have this giant ass crab, I'm like, I'd eat that. Then you have this giant ass lobster, I'm like, I'd eat that. And then you have these mussels and potatoes and beer, and then a photo of the jankest looking hamburger I've ever seen on planet Earth. That's straight up like, hey, they got the hamburger, and it's like, all right. That looks like, I don't know if you remember this. They got the hamburger and it's like alright That looks like I don't know if you remember this
Starting point is 00:43:24 When you were young Or I know We had these a lot in college Where you would Get like there was a vending machine That had hamburgers in it And it would heat it up in the pack Yeah dude and it would be like
Starting point is 00:43:39 I know Japan does this a lot too And you would heat it up and you would press like You know A4 and then it would heat up the hamburger And then you would heat it up. You would press like, you know, A4. And then it would heat up the hamburger. And then it would pop it out in the plastic wrap still. And you would open it. And it would be like the jankest. It tasted terrible.
Starting point is 00:43:52 But you were like, I'm just so hungry and drunk. And you would eat it. And this looks exactly like that. It wasn't. It's like not a bad experience. But it's certainly not. You shouldn't do it. It's on the menu because if
Starting point is 00:44:05 you don't like seafood or like fancy food or like me you're just like i want a hamburger they're like all right here you go i mean i'm looking at the various versions of this hamburger they have and it's it's i'm not feeling it at all in any form meanwhile your other options are this giant beautiful fried fish this enormous crab that looks so good, all this lobster and big, thick-ass French fries, but I guess that'd be chips. They look amazing. Even there's a giant fish sandwich that looks good. And then the burger's kind of like, I guess I'm here as well.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Yeah, that's like a kid's meal thing. Yeah, it looks way out of place. Although, the actual restaurant itself, looking at it, absolutely looks like it maybe has six tables total. Yeah. I would eat at this place in a heartbeat. Oh, I would too. I wouldn't get a burger. That makes no sense to me.
Starting point is 00:45:05 But everything else, I'd go crazy. Oh, yeah. I would definitely this place in a heartbeat. Oh, I would too. I wouldn't get a burger. That makes no sense to me. But like everything else, I'd go crazy. Oh, yeah. No, I would definitely try this. I feel like I would get the – I'd get like a lobster or something. Like something you know they just caught. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like there's one – if you scroll further down, there's literally a fish that they just threw on a grill. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Head and all. That, I bet bet is delicious oh yeah it looks terrifying but i bet it's delicious and all the like beers and stuff they got they got like you they put it in a named glass like you know what you're drinking it's like rattler cornish cloudy cider like i was just looking i was about to say i love the rattler because on the back of the rattler cornish cloudy cider on the back of that mug they Cornish Cloudy Cider, on the back of that mug, it's clearly a snake, except because the text is covering up, it looks like a Goomba.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Yeah, I can see it. It looks like a Goomba. I was like, is that a Goomba back there? That's amazing. Yeah, I think, you know what's weird is one of these images, and I think it sums up British cooking perfectly. One of these images is of this – it's one table, and on one side I think it's a woman is eating this beautiful, vibrant-looking crab. It's so colorful.
Starting point is 00:46:19 And then between them is what appears to be like a mashed potato thing and like this very vibrant-looking salad. And the person closest to us in the camera is eating a sunday roast and it's all brown and i'm just like yeah that sums it up that's like you know you have all this beautiful stuff and then the british meal is like the brownest like covered in gravy it's like yeah that's it that sums it up perfectly. Yeah, okay. Let's go to sports. Sports.
Starting point is 00:46:53 We had sports today. Yeah. A lot of NFL football. We also had Thanksgiving football. We'll start with that. Bill's beating the Lions on Thanksgiving. I was hoping the Lions could pull it out, but they almost did, and they did not. Cowboys beating the Lions on Thanksgiving I was hoping the Lions could pull it out but they almost did and they did not Cowboys beating the Giants Vikings beating the Patriots
Starting point is 00:47:11 and then today we had the Dolphins crushing the Texans Bengals beating the Titans Panthers beating the Broncos Jets beating the Bears Commanders beating the Falcons Browns beating the Buccaneers Jaguars beating the Ravens Raiders beating the Seahawks
Starting point is 00:47:26 in overtime, Chargers beating the Cardinals, 49ers shutting out the Saints, Chiefs beating the Rams, and then tonight we've got Packers, Eagles, and then tomorrow we have Steelers Colts. Yay! Hopefully they'll beat the Colts. Yeah, we'll see.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Steelers are on the same level as the Packers right now, though I'm hoping. I'm hoping. You say that with like a, like maybe there's hope, but it's been a bad season for the Steelers, to be honest. Yeah, Packers, Steelers, a lot of good teams from last year kind of asked this year, but, you know, mix it up.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Yeah, yeah. You know, as they say in the business, it's like but you know, mix it up. Yeah, yeah. You know, as they say in the business, it's like, you know, we're taking a year to really come together as a team, and we're, you know, it's an off year for us, so we're really trying to develop new talent, like that kind of thing. Yeah, it's essentially
Starting point is 00:48:17 the we suck this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In basketball, we got the Celtics in first, Bucs in second. We got the Cavs, the Pacers, the Hawks, the Wizards, the, yeah, yeah. In basketball, we got the Celtics in first. Bucks in second. You got the Cavs, the Pacers, the Hawks, the Wizards, the 76ers, and the Raptors all in the top eight. In the West, you got the Suns, the Nuggets, the Pelicans, the Grizzlies, the Clippers, the Kings, the Trailblazers, the Jazz all in the top eight spots.
Starting point is 00:48:40 Also, the Kings have won seven of their last ten games, and they made it so when they win, they shoot off a laser into the sky. Love it. Love it. Big fan of that. They also haven't made the NBA playoffs, I think, since 2004. So they're hoping. Over in hockey, we got the Bruins in first.
Starting point is 00:49:03 We got the Devils in first. We got the Devils in first. We have the Stars in first. And we have the Golden Knights in first. But out of all those teams, the Bruins and the Devils are the top two in terms of points. And World Cup's going on. I don't really know much about the World Cup. I just know England and USA tied, and everyone was like, woo,
Starting point is 00:49:28 and that France has the most points. So, cool. I'm obsessed with the videos of, shout out to all the Mexicans in Qatar right now, because the videos are amazing. First off, they're dressed up in the best way possible. But secondly, they're going around teaching people how to say phrases in Spanish that are not what they're actually telling. They're going around telling locals, you know, this phrase means, you know, go America or something like that.
Starting point is 00:50:04 But they're literally teaching them the Spanish swear words. And it is, I absolutely love it. So they're basically telling them to, like, go up to Americans and say this stuff. It's so good. It's so good. I'm like, I love every one of them. That is pretty great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:23 So shout out to Mexico. Not sports. Okay. Let's go to our fact of the day. Fact of the day. I got two short facts for you. Okay. You know what?
Starting point is 00:50:42 I'm down for two short facts. Yeah, two short. You know what? Three. I found another one that's really good. Whoa. All right. Wow. Here we go. okay i like you know what i'm down for two short facts yeah too short you know what the three i found another one that's really good wow first one the opposite sides of dice will always equal seven that's right that's one and six two and five three and four all equals seven i never thought about it that way but you're right. I never thought about it that way, but you're right. Yeah. I never thought of it that way either. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:51:05 It's interesting. Is it designed that way, or is it just that's how it ended up being? I have no idea. I mean, it's got to be designed that way, right? Because they could have put the dice in any way. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I feel like it seems cooler to me because everything, you know, when it's kind of dice related, you're either trying to get seven or avoid seven. So the fact that it's seven seems cool, but I don't know if that's just me correlating two things that really have nothing to do with each other.
Starting point is 00:51:36 That's possible, yeah. Then we have the average adult spends more time on the toilet than exercising. On average, an adult will spend over three hours on the toilet per week, but only one and a half hours exercising. Yeah, that checks out. But that's also like you spend more time sleeping than you do exercising. You know what I mean? I don't spend that much time on the toilet. Then maybe you're just built different, dude. Maybe you do exercising. You know what I mean? I don't spend that much time on
Starting point is 00:52:06 the toilet. Then maybe you're just built different, dude. Maybe you're different. I think I'm just built different. It did say average. It didn't say like physically fit, crendor. I'm not the average American. Plus, when I go to the bathroom, I'm like in and out. That gallbladder? That thing's not there. You know, it'll
Starting point is 00:52:21 get some fiber. I'm regular. Boom boom no constipation and i'm not sitting there for like 50 minutes straining yeah i guess i mean sometimes i feel like it's i feel like i'm pre-programmed to hide out in the bathroom sometimes that's like i'll bring my phone i'll just sit there reading Twitter. Again, I've said this before If you ever see me tweet I'm not on Twitter. If you ever see me tweet I'm definitely in the bathroom
Starting point is 00:52:51 Is that just because you just enjoy being in the bathroom? It's like a meditative experience or is it because you're struggling? No struggle, I just like the doors closed, no one can bug me No one's going to try to bug me, you know what I mean? So it's essentially just your meditative zone. Yeah, pretty much.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Maybe that's why even at home, like where no one's going to bug, like there's no one to bug me. I'm like in the bathroom and I'll just sit there for like 20 minutes looking at the internet. That's because your brain finished my business a while ago and still be just like surfing the net. Yeah, it's weird. Your brain knows it's like a this it's like this is the relaxed time it's gotten used to it i guess so and i'm fine with that um and then
Starting point is 00:53:33 finally we have seven percent of american adults believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows i'm sorry how many what was seven percent so that's like 1 in 11 almost, isn't it? Yeah, what is... I'm going to have to break out the old calculator. I need to know the actual number. What would that be? 100 by 7? Oh my god, how do I...
Starting point is 00:53:55 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. Times.07. 15.2, right. Sure, sure, sure. But I'm saying it's 23 million people. Oh, I see. I just want to know how many people were complete idiots.
Starting point is 00:54:12 23 million is the answer. Here's the thing. Of those 23 million, they could be children. Some of them could be children. That's true. Well, they said American adults. Oh, never mind. Nope, 23 million idiots.
Starting point is 00:54:23 That means out of every 100 people you see, 14.2 of them believe. I'm sure there's some give or take there because, again, I did it based off of the number of total American citizens. So obviously some of them are not adults. So we could say 14 million, and that'd still be too many people. It's way too many people to believe that. But it does explain how a lot of youtubers have such a big audience that's true as well yep i mean that clicks with me like oh yeah there's just a lot of dumb people or just like dude sometimes i'm like browsing videos or like seeing like other people's tiktoks like uh i was watching uh
Starting point is 00:55:01 the thing where it was like the streamer is doing like a laugh thing, like make me laugh. And they were submitting TikToks. I swear to God, I like didn't laugh for like 30 minutes straight of seeing. I was like, the next one's got to be funny, right? And it just wasn't. It was just dumb. And I was like, am I, like is my sense of humor just not related or correlated? Like it doesn't tie in with what the kids like today?
Starting point is 00:55:23 I can't even... Like, my dude, every time I go to YouTube without being logged in, or if I'm on a different device, or, you know, just when I see normal YouTube that shows people, it's the same five people, all making the same face,
Starting point is 00:55:40 and all of them reacting to TikToks. And I'm just like, this sucks. None of this is funny, none of this is good, but they have 84 million. And I'm just like, this sucks. None of this is funny. None of this is good. But they have 84 million views. And I'm like, this, I just don't understand it. And I'm not going to hate on them. They've clearly found, they've cracked the code. But it is, I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Like, I personally don't know why someone would watch it. It's like some of it's like the mainstream humor where they like show it on commercials and you're like ah you know it reaches the most generalized audience like that type of thing it's like the corporate humor I guess where they're gonna be but then there's like some other dumb humor where it's like
Starting point is 00:56:17 there's these people one tiktok that they saw was like these it was like a girl being like hey everybody here I am and then the like, hey, everybody, here I am. And then the guy would be like, oh, everybody, here I am. There's this like mimicking her. And it had like a bunch of views. And I was like, this isn't even funny.
Starting point is 00:56:35 He's just like mimicking her. Like, am I dumb? There's like no depth. It's just like, duh. Right? You're absolutely right. There is a set of comedy that falls into the Jay Leno category. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Where it's like non-offensive, totally actually boring comedy that grandma and mom can watch together kind of thing. Right. And that's a lot of YouTube stuff. Oh, yeah. But then on the flip side, Twitch has a lot of comedy that is the kind of comedy you'd see at 3am on Adult Swim that I'm like, I don't think this is for me. The other day,
Starting point is 00:57:12 I swear to God, everyone was like, dude, this guy, he and his friends are doing a stream, it's hilarious. I'm like, they set up a tent and they are like one at a time going into the tent and I think jerking off. And then they're all commenting on each other's stuff.
Starting point is 00:57:33 The chat was everyone was laughing. Everyone was eating it up. That's like 15-year-old humor of like, dude. I know. It's like the swearing. Like, dude, he said a swear word. Yeah. I get it. I get that there's
Starting point is 00:57:47 like that's a comedy that people love I was like I why would you say that this is something I should watch like if you know me you know I'm gonna be like this is weird this isn't cool this is four dudes beating off in the room together like this is real weird like this is very strange yeah i it's almost like a weird slapstick style which like i'm not saying it's like wrong like everybody's got their own humor and whatever like it's not it's a what you call it subjective or object which one is it subjective objective i always get the two i mean it I mean, it's subjective. Yeah, subjective. And so it's like, whatever. But I just, it amazes me because I'm always like, I just, it's weird how I find this completely not funny,
Starting point is 00:58:32 but other people find it extremely funny. Which I guess can be said for anything. Like, I enjoy watching football, but someone else could watch it and be like, this is so boring. Like, oh my God, what's his name? What's that Tonight Show guy, Jimmy whatever? Jimmy Fallon?
Starting point is 00:58:43 Easily one of the most unfunny people. I don't know how he has a show, let alone. A lot of people think he's hilarious. I mean, good for him. He just does not. He's never once made me be like, he just doesn't do it for me. He gives me weird vibes. He gives me creepy vibes, like he's a serial killer or something.
Starting point is 00:59:00 I don't know. I'm not a huge fan, I'll be honest. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not a huge fan, I'll be honest. Yeah, I don't like him. But either way, it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. Maybe we'd be more popular if we liked this. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely correct. Like I was saying, the dude who was in the jerk tent, incredibly popular. All these people we see on the front page, the most popular people around.
Starting point is 00:59:25 Like, the most popular YouTubers. So I'm just saying, yeah, that's probably the reason why we're over here complaining on a podcast and not living in a mansion. So, yeah. And I'm going to tell you right now, we are not going to have a jerk tent. And we are not going to. Yeah, I'm going to draw the line at the old jerk tent. I feel like I'm going to, no, that's not for me. That's what I say.
Starting point is 00:59:48 It almost feels like high school humor. So I remember being in high school and, like, kids then just being like, dude, yes. Like, they would just find shit like that funny. You know what I mean? Or, like, just saying swear words like, dude, fuck, bro. And everyone's like, he said fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're just old. I think we just aged out of being cool yeah well or whatever cool was we never had it
Starting point is 01:00:11 we never had it and i still don't have it and that's fine yeah i've accepted it i accepted it a long time ago um i don't know how we got here from chocolate milk cows but either way oh wait i think we were just like people are dumb i don't know something like that that's your facts of the day all right what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day menacing wild turkeys led by kevin are taking a new england city for themselves. I... God. Go on. I have so many thoughts, but okay. A flock of feathered hooligans have been intimidating residents of Woburn, Massachusetts,
Starting point is 01:00:54 and their leader is one especially tough turkey, Kevin. The five... You know what? Usually I hate writing like this, but I'm here for it. Today, I'm here for it. The five wild birds spend a lot of time in particular on the lawn of a woman named Megan Tolson, according to a report from The Guardian appropriately published on Thanksgiving. Tolson, who gave Kevin his name, characterizes him as the bad egg amongst the otherwise all-female turkey crew.
Starting point is 01:01:22 The hens she calls Gladys, Esther, Monica, and Patricia. The women are more mellow and not so territorial, but I think he kind of amps them up to get them going to chase people, she told The Guardian. Well, of course, it's the guy doing that. Come on, we gotta go chase them! Tolson has posted multiple videos
Starting point is 01:01:42 showing Kevin lurking near the door of her home or car. They don't let you out of your house, she said. While the Guardian brought national attention to Kevin and his band of rogues, local media has also covered their antics in recent months. They're up at 6 a.m. in Milan and start chasing us, trying to pop the tires. It's wild. David Scarpitti, a turkey expert with the wildlife department i said uh said that these kind of problems arise when turkeys become too habituated to humans typically this happens due to people feeding them directly or from the turkeys freeloading off of bird feeders
Starting point is 01:02:20 intended for other kinds of birds turkeys are just acting out what they do amongst themselves he added that running away can feel the problem because they'll begin to see you as subdominant to them instead he recommends carrying an umbrella and opening it in front of you to frighten off the birds meanwhile tolson has taken the situation in stride and has even developed some affection for kevin and co they kind of grow on you a bit, she said. There's so much I actually learned now about turkeys and birds. I love the idea that, look, do not run from them. That makes them establish dominance over you.
Starting point is 01:03:05 You must instead shake an umbrella at them honestly it's like cats if you run from a cat they're gonna think you're like food essentially they'll chase you down sure sure i i i i get it fascinating yeah um so that's pretty crazy then you know who's the don't feed wild animals outside. That's not a good one. Some people, they're like, I've been feeding the raccoons outside. There's like 50 raccoons, and they're like making videos. Like, it's the raccoon house. And it's like, you know, those raccoons are going to tear through the windows and shit. Like, where's the food?
Starting point is 01:03:38 Where is it? You forgot your one day of feeding. 100%. Love it. Yes. Absolutely here Love it. Yes. Absolutely here for it. I love a good animal story. They're always my favorite.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Yeah. Just like that. What was the one? The seal was in the house. Yeah. And broke in. The guy with the alligator in the convenience mart. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:00 The snake in the car. The he. Yeah. Even, you know what? Even Monkey Mond mondays I always think back to monkey mondays that's a staple monkey mondays they still aren't back they still they're gone I can't believe they
Starting point is 01:04:15 ruined monkey mondays for everyone let me just do a quick google check are monkey mondays back no doesn't look like it however there is a ruthless youtube video called monkey monday official music video but that's not monkey mondays yeah that's not our monkey monday yeah no so sad times but that's your big news story today. Okay. Well, that's it for us.
Starting point is 01:04:46 Thank you so much for listening or watching or having enjoyed this podcast. Crandor. Hey, what about the socials? We've got socials. You got the old YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. All one word. Hit the comment. Leave a comment.
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