Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 365 - Like A Real Morning Show
Episode Date: November 28, 2022The boys return and once again it's time for a quick look into Black Friday. They boys have stories, which suprusingly have little to do with the actual day. Then Jesse brings some interesting facts a...bout food to which Crendor brings even more interesting facts. It's that kind of episode that makes you think maybe they're good at this. Maybe. All this and witch resturant on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://getquip.com/crendor to get your first refill free. Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 20% off plus free shipping.
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Let's jump into this podcast.
Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
This is Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4 hour recording studio. Recording. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Crandall in the Morning.
Whoa, yeah.
Whoa. Yeah. Whoa.
You rose out of
a tube on the moon.
Read Repulsa there.
It's like the Power Rangers guy.
Ivan Ooze or whatever. He's coming out of
the ooze sewer.
Can I tell you? The other day,
I was on
YouTube's short thing. know because sometimes when you
Bring it up on your phone it's the first thing it appears for some
Reason now
And the first thing I got was
Part 18 of
The Power Rangers movie I guess
Someone put all 18 parts
And I'm not lying when I say
I watched
From part 18 to the end of the film on this person's
Channel
But only through shorts so it's like Two minutes at a time when I say I watched from part 18 to the end of the film on this person's channel.
But only through his shorts.
So it was like two minutes at a time.
That's so crazy.
I just kept scrolling through them.
Loved it. Loved every minute of it.
I forgot at one point the Power Rangers are on another planet
and like a naked
Amazonian woman
guides them.
And I forgot that all those things that Ivan Ooze, he spits out minions.
It's, you know what?
It's a bad movie, but I loved it.
Love it.
So good.
Yeah, that's a Power Rangers staple.
Yeah, I see that.
What's crazy is the special effects are terrible.
And I seem to recall them being amazing
Looking back they are bad dude
They are bad
Oh yeah I mean when I saw it I was like 7 or something
I don't know
So obviously when you're 7 you're like
Woo
I think that was 7th grade for me I think
Yeah that would probably check out
I remember the
Thing was
This is how I know
When kids say they like something ironically
It's all a lie
Because my friends and I in high school
All the high school boys
Loved Power Rangers
But we'd pretend for the girls
That it was an ironic kind of love
We know it's stupid
But we'd all be like, oh my god, dude
Did you see when Tommy didy did that thing that was it was all fake yeah it's uh you know oh my god that reminds
me perfect uh segue here so uh-huh on uh did you do anything on black Friday? I did nothing. I have a whole story, but I'll save it for you.
All right.
Mine's not too long anyway.
Okay.
I wasn't going to do anything, and then I had to go to Target,
so I was like, I guess I'll just go to Target.
So I went to Target at like, I don't know, 7 p.m.,
and I was walking around, pretty much nothing I wanted.
On Black Friday? No one's out Friday night. Well, yeah, that's why I wanted. I was like, whatever.
On Black Friday?
No one's out Friday night.
Well, yeah, that's why I went at like 7 p.m.
There's still people.
Okay.
There's still people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
I thought you were talking about like crazy people, but you're talking about stores.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm just talking about going to the store or whatever.
Like, okay, walking around, you know, it's crowded, but nothing out of the ordinary.
And I was like, they had DVDs.
You buy two, get one free or something i
was like i don't care right like they're like oh if you buy shrek 2 and like tim allen santa
claus you can buy monsters inc for free i don't care that's a steal that's a steal uh then they
had some other stuff like whatever so i just walked around i didn't get anything but i heard a crazy quote all right so so i was by the uh video game section so i was like maybe
they got some crazy video game stuff and right next to there is like the book section there are
these two high school girls talking and she said maybe the most high school quote I have ever heard.
Go on.
She said, and I quote, like, whenever I don't feel like doing something, I feel like a lame loser.
But lately, I've been being a lame loser just to be a lame loser.
I've never felt more seen in my entire life.
I've never felt more seen in my entire life.
That actually does kind of sound like something you'd relate to.
Am I a high school girl?
Is that what we've discovered?
I heard that, and I was like, I got to write that down. That is a quote for the ages.
Sometimes I feel like I say stuff
like that, and no one corrects me on it.
That's what you need.
You need somebody to just
correct you on it and say, you know what?
It's alright to be a lame loser
sometimes. Sometimes you gotta
embrace being a lame loser.
Just to be a lame loser.
As our dear friend Spongebob
said, sometimes it's okay to be a goofy goober.
Yeah.
Rock.
Rock.
Rock.
Great movie.
Well, my day was not good at all.
All right.
So the night before, I had come back from my parents' house, and we did the whole Thanksgiving
thing together.
That was fun.
We watched the dog show.
I love watching the dog show because I get to see all the dogs, and 90% of them are ridiculous looking.
I love a good, ridiculous looking dog.
So we did all that. I came home, and as I think I was – I don't know when I noticed this, but all, as I was
going to my apartment, all the lights within, I'm going to say a mile of the apartment building,
all the lights were off.
I was like, hmm, interesting.
So I got closer to the apartment and I noticed all the lights in the buildings, not just
street lights or stoplights, all the building lights are off.
I was like, hmm, interesting.
So then I get to my apartment, press the garage door opener, and it works.
So I'm like, oh, well, the power must not be off.
So then I go down to the garage.
The lights in the garage are on.
I'm like, huh, okay.
Walk over to the elevator, press the elevator button.
Elevator works.
I go up to my apartment. I, you know, walk into okay. Walk over to the elevator, press the elevator button. Elevator works. I go up to my apartment.
I, you know, walk into it.
The lights work.
But I do see that the clock on the stove and the microwave are flashing.
I'm like, oh, maybe the power just went out and it just came on.
Like, as I got back, I was like, all right, well, that was lucky.
Then I go to take out some trash.
And as I'm taking out trash And putting it down the garbage chute
I hear the elevator
Ding and so someone's getting in the elevator
I walk around towards the elevator
And as I'm almost by it I hear
Like
The sound of gears and metal breaking
Oh boy
And I'm like what the hell
And I look at the elevator and it's clearly coming from the elevator
I'm like
Nah and I just go back to my apartment? And I look at the elevator and it's clearly coming from the elevator. I'm like, nah.
And I just go back to my apartment.
I didn't want anything to do with it.
I didn't want anything.
I was like, I got time for this.
I'm going to bed.
So that whatever happened happened.
Wake up the next morning and there is caution tape over the elevator.
I have no idea what happened, but something, they're not letting us over the elevator. I have no idea what happened, but they're not letting us in the elevator.
And I was like, all right, well, maybe they'll fix it.
So I come into the office.
I record some stuff with Gerard, and then I head home at night.
Still not fixed.
So now, just for the record, my parking spot is on basement level two all right my apartment is on the fifth floor
so i am at minimum doing seven uh flights they're not like one up and over i'm talking like
each floor is four half flights of stairs so four times seven is what I'm doing up to get to the top.
I'm going to let you know.
I've had to do that.
It still isn't fixed, by the way.
It is Sunday, still not fixed.
I've been having to walk up and down those damn stairs to get anything.
Mail, to go out.
My calves hurt so much, dude.
I'm over it.
I've never been like, I just want an elevator so badly.
I am broken.
And they haven't fixed it.
They haven't fixed it.
There's a, like, the elevator does not work.
I don't know what's going on with it, but I think I was there to witness it break.
And was like, nah, I ain't got time for that.
So that's what I've been doing.
And so what I've been trying to do is make it so if I have to go out,
I go out for a long time so I don't have to
walk up the stairs as much.
That's where I'm at mentally. If I'm
going out, I'm out all day.
If I go up those stairs, I'm
not coming back out.
That's me.
That's what I've been doing.
You're getting exercise then.
Yeah. I guess you could look at it like that Or you could look at it like
It's now a pain in the ass to do everything
Such a hassle
Well I mean it is seemingly a pain in the ass
To do everything
But you know you just gotta see the bright side
You're like wow
I'm getting in my exercise
I'm telling you
One night I came home
And I was very very tired
And I totally forgot I had to walk up the stairs
And I was like eff it
I'm just going to do it all
I'm just going to try to get up as fast as possible
I just want to get into bed
And I tried to like sprint up those stairs
I can confirm
I probably almost died
I got into my apartment And my heart was like beating in my throat up those stairs, I can confirm I probably almost died.
I got into my apartment, and my heart was, like, beating in my throat.
I was like, this is not good.
I was like, I've never felt my heart.
It was, like, pumping.
It was like, why, bro?
Why'd you do that, dude?
I was like, I'm so sorry.
I sat on my couch, and I was like, I may die right here.
I've never I like felt fine.
I wasn't like dizzy or anything, but honest
to God, my heart
has never pumped that hard.
Note to self, don't do that
ever again. That shit was scary.
It was like,
I was like, whoa.
Wait,
how long were you sprinting upstairs?
From the second, whatever the four times seven is.
Four times seven, 28?
It wasn't long, but imagine, so like each half flight is, we'll say seven steps.
And between each floor
Is four half flights
It like goes in sort of a box you know
So you're doing four
So seven
So it's seven times four
And then that number times seven floors
It wasn't long
It's just a lot of them
So I wasn't walking up the stairs a long time
I was trying to
get up as fast as i could but it was i would say like three minutes maybe but that three minutes
was like fool jesse trying to get to the top of these stairs as fast as possible lesson learned
don't do that don't do that it reminds me of when i uh started working out after now working out for
like all the covid and i remember, I remember I got like nauseous
because I was just like,
after like doing so much exercise,
you just like overexert yourself better.
I'm like, dehydrator didn't eat enough or something.
But I remember, I mean, it's only happened like right
when I hadn't worked out for a while.
And you're just like, sit down, you know.
Well, I do understand because my thought process, if I can walk you through it, was I can manage these stairs fine.
It's not a big deal.
I don't like doing it.
But, you know, it's fine.
I'm not like out of breath or anything.
You know, going up and down them after a while, it does hurt my legs.
But it's not, you know, it's like whatever.
You're doing a bunch of stairs.
It's fine.
hurt my legs, but it's not, you know, it's like, whatever, you're doing a bunch of stairs.
It's fine.
So my thought process was, well, if that's fine, then I could just get up these real quick and, you know, I don't have to struggle through climbing up a bunch of stairs when
really I can just get through it fast.
And so my legs won't hurt, right?
That's my thought process.
Like instead of doing slow up the stairs, I'm doing super fast up the stairs.
And admittedly, my legs did not
Hurt but
My heart was like
Pumping
Lesson learned
And who
Would have known this all came from
Hearing the elevator break
Yep that's that's what brought
It on oh my god speaking of
Dude so much dumb shit happened to me this week
I was
Driving with my mom
Because I had to take her to her storage unit
And as I'm taking her
Back to her place
A dude like
On a bike
Bolts out in front of me
From his side of the lane
He's in the opposite lane from his side through my lane.
And then as I'm driving signals for me to slow down and starts yelling at me to slow
down because he's trying to bring his girlfriend across the street.
And I'm like, timeout.
How dare you?
I have the right of way here, my man.
There is no doubt.
He went across the lane,
ditched his girlfriend,
and then yelled at me because I was preventing
his girlfriend from crossing.
Just wait the three seconds it takes me to pass you, dude.
I couldn't figure
out. I was like, this guy is just upset
that he ditched his girlfriend, and now he's trying to push the blame
on me.
It wouldn't be a fun month without a crazy traffic story.
And you know what?
It was at the exact same intersection, by the way.
Wait, has every single thing happened at that intersection?
Yeah, that intersection is everything that happens happens there.
Is that the one with the gas station?
No, this is the one that's sort of by my house, but there's a hotel there now.
So people are just vacationing when they're going biking in LA?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a weekend, of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a weekend, of course.
My entire area of LA used to be like an old run-down Shinto monastery or some shit.
And like a beach no one went to.
And old apartments that nobody lived in.
And weird restaurants that were kind of run down. And a mini-mart that had, you know, 90% of its shelves were empty most of the time.
Right?
It was a weird section of the city.
Not many people lived here.
It was just a bunch of old people.
Loved it.
Very quiet.
Loved it.
Over the last 10 years, yeah, 10 years now, over the last 10 years,
the area that I live in has torn all that down and instead built apartments
and hotels.
So many apartments and hotels.
And now all the apartments around me are super expensive.
We're talking 6,000 plus for a one bedroom.
Insane.
Oh my God.
And all the hotels around me are like pretty fancy hotels.
So everyone in this area is not only doing the vacation thing,
but they're also, half the time, the kids of rich people.
So they have the attitude to begin with.
So the whole area is just attitude.
It's what I imagine actual living in Hollywood is like, kind of.
I hate it.
I don't know why, of all the places you'd want to go biking,
you would pick Los Angeles.
You can go anywhere.
You can go to the woods.
You can go to the mountains.
You can go, I don't know, just like any place.
Like, let's go biking in LA.
Well, my area is Where Santa Monica and Venice are
Which is a real touristy spot
And there's a lot of bike path areas
So there's a lot
Of biking that goes on in this area
People will go down to the beach
And they'll bike on the beach
And there's bike paths that take you all over this area of the city
So it like checks out why they would
Do it here, it's that kind of community
Again, unlike most of LA It's pretty quiet is, is that the people who come to the area
aren't, they don't live here. Most of the people that like most of the apartments that are in my
area now, it's a big problem. All those $6,000 apartments that no one with a brain will rent
are now being rented by companies who then are subleasing them as airbnbs ah i see and yeah
and so now a lot of the people in the area i think i mentioned this the one of the apartments the one
of the units next to me is clearly an airbnb for someone and the the car that parks there next to
my spot is a different car every few days And I you know
The hotel or not the hotel
The apartment complex was like
Well you know
Because of this Airbnb stuff
That's why our rent keeps going up
They keep you know messing with the market
And so like if you see someone
Who's Airbnb-ing let us know
So we can make sure to kick them out
And I was like, okay.
So I once told them, and they were like, have you ever seen this before?
Is this something that happens often?
I said, yeah.
Would you like me to take a picture or something?
They're like, yeah, if you could gather us a bunch of evidence.
And I was like, whoa, wait.
Whoa.
That's not my job.
You should be the ones every day going to the parking lot and looking to see what cars
are like. How is this my responsibility?
Like, well, if you could just let us know if you see another
car, I was like, I don't care
that much. So,
yeah, that's
that's that's the situation
around me. It's I imagine it's a
lot of L.A. I don't know.
A lot of people are talking about online how
Airbnb is kind of going under, but here in LA, even, even my office that I'm in right now, I came up, I think I told
you this. I came up here the other day and a van, like a van with a bunch of very pale white people
was in the driveway and I couldn't, you know, get in. So I, you know So after I got in, they followed me and they were like, excuse me,
we're looking for a place to stay in this complex. And I'm like, uh-huh. I mean, it's mostly rental
units. Like, oh no, no, we Airbnb. I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess you should contact the person. I'm like,
how do we contact him? I'm like,
I don't know. It's like there's a
call box right over there. You should have
taken a video for the apartment people
like, hold on, you said you're staying at an
Airbnb at this apartment complex.
They'd be like, yeah. Well, this is my office.
Dude, this wasn't even
my apartment. This was my office.
This someone, the place I'm, just let this sink in.
The place I have my office at is a place where many other influencers and up-and-coming entrepreneurs have offices.
Two people live here.
The people that own the property and this older couple that's kind of like cuckoo bananas.
But other than that, everyone else just works here and is gone.
Someone clearly rented a place or bought a place here and is now renting it out.
And so now this place that has like four levels of security to get in, some random dudes from, I think, Norway came over here and are, like, trying
to get in, and no one's here to greet them, and they're asking me to help.
And because I'm just like, I don't know how to help you guys.
They're now mad at me because I'm not telling them how to contact a person.
And I'm like, I don't know where you're staying.
I don't know what you're doing.
You rolled up in a van that looks like you smuggle kids.
None of this seems like I should be involved.
Yeah, that's the best course of action.
You just don't get involved.
Yeah, so I was like, there's a callbacks right over there.
You just go over to the call box, press the button.
You should be able to get a hold of them.
He's like, okay, thank you for nothing.
I'm like, what do you want me to do, man?
Oh, man? Oh man.
That's,
uh,
that's a,
it's a fun time over in the old Los Angeles.
This is why I don't know.
I don't like the big cities.
I don't like being in the city city,
you know,
but I can get why people like it.
So while we're going to a totally
different topic now it's what i'll say is the segway yeah i found so last week we talked about
um you know it might have been last week remember the week before but the idea of
uh food not being originally from the place it was Oh yeah I remember that
How tomato sauce wasn't originally
From Italy
I found
A complete
Guide to things like this
And I just wanted to tell you
Some of the crazy ones
Because it is totally fascinating
And some of them genuinely are like
No
So is totally fascinating and some of them genuinely are like no um so this is a surprising list
of recently invented foods this is recently invented okay nachos
were invented in 1940s mexico okay. I mean, that checks out.
I mean, like, that kind of checks out.
Like, that seems like an easy start.
Then you have Spaghetti Carbonara.
Classic, but only from 1940.
Wait, which one's Carbonara?
It's, you know, you got, like, the tomatoes and the oil and stuff in it.
Oh, yeah, that one.
All right.
1944 is when that one's from.
You figure that would be like an old standard because it seems so simple.
The ingredients, it isn't a lot, you know.
I mean, I guess that's when a lot of people started coming here from different countries and stuff.
So they were probably just inventing new dishes to bring over.
Like, I don't know.
Like, this is what I used to eat there in the army.
Unless it was just, like, actually in Italy.
Yeah, Italy.
This is in Italy.
Oh.
All right, never mind.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Because I know, isn't it a thing where, like,
a lot of American Chinese food was made by, like,
Chinese immigrants here?
Yes.
The most popular dish in America, General Tso's chicken or General Chow's chicken,
whatever you want to say, was created in the 1970s
because they were looking for a Chinese food taste that Americans would like.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah, there's actually a pretty interesting documentary.
I think it might be on Netflix about these guys going over to China and asking, like, do you know who this is?
Is this general even a real person?
And they're like, we don't know what that is.
What kind of chicken?
They have no clue.
It's very interesting.
It's very interesting Another one that I think is interesting
Is Currywurst
Is from 1949
Germany
And the reason why is because allied troops
Were stationed there and the Americans had ketchup
And the British had curry powder
And there were a lot of cheap local sausages
So Currywurst
Which I think is super interesting
This one Is one of my absolute favorites.
Mongolian barbecue.
Where do you think that's from?
I mean, obviously, you'd say Mongolia.
Totally not true.
Mongolian barbecue is from 1951 Taiwan.
And originally, it was going to be called Beijing Barbecue,
but it was too politically sensitive.
Interesting.
So they just picked Mongolia?
So they named it Mongolian Barbecue.
Yeah, yeah.
They just picked some kind of Mongolia.
That sounds good.
Yeah, so it was, you know, the concept,
I mean, maybe the concept could stem from Mongolia,
but I don't, yeah, it's just a weird-ass thing. So it was, you know, the concept, I mean, maybe the concept could stem from Mongolia,
but I don't, yeah, it's just a weird ass thing.
Interesting.
Yep.
Another one, and that's another one, 1962, Hawaiian pizza.
Where do you think that's from?
I'll say Hawaii just to, you know, be the person like, oh, could it be Hawaii?
Hawaiian pizza? Hawaiian pizza pizza pineapples ham
everything yeah canada oh yeah i could i could see it stemming from canada yep well why do they
call it hawaii is just because of the pineapple yeah that's it and uh wait hold on but what about
canadians did they call it hawaiian pizza yeah yeah Canadians? Did they call it Hawaiian pizza?
Yeah, yeah
But why did they call it Hawaiian pizza?
They invented it in Canada
Dude, I wish I could give you an answer
I wish I could give you an answer
The next one
The Donner Kebab Sandwich
A classic staple of most of Europe
It's from 1960s Germany
Oh that's crazy
Which again
Again it rings to me as
Very much like Currywurst
It rings to me like
Immigrants bringing food
And then they altered it in some way
Yeah I think that's what a lot of
People did Just kind of altering what they knew And it makes sense to me food and then they altered it in some way. Yeah. I think that's what a lot of people did.
Just kind of altering what they knew.
And it makes sense to me.
Tiramisu.
Actually, yeah.
I would just say France, right?
Tiramisu, Italy
in the 1960s.
I thought for sure
this was like in the 1800s they were making Tiramisu. No. 1960s. I thought for sure this was like in the 1800s.
They were making tiramisu.
No, no.
1960s tiramisu.
I just realized all the Italian places serve tiramisu.
I don't know why I said France.
I think it just feels like a French thing.
I like the coffee or espresso thing.
I like the cake.
They make good France.
Sure.
and the cake, they like baked goods, France.
Sure.
The famous chicken tikka masala.
Where's it from?
Man, I would say India,
but it's probably going to be like England or something.
Absolutely.
England in the 1970s.
Again, immigrants making stuff
that they thought English people would eat.
So instead of a butter chicken thing, they made chicken tikka masala,
which is probably because they had chicken tikka,
and then they were like, well, let's make this masala thing.
And they're like, okay.
I think that's probably along the same lines as General Tso's chicken.
Oh, yeah, probably.
Okay, here's another one california pizza rolls are not pizza rolls uh sushi rolls pizza roll um uh i don't know japan nope nope here's the thing. This is my favorite one.
Some people say America, obviously.
Right.
But a lot of people are saying it was invented in Canada.
Oh.
Canada.
Which I think is super interesting because the concept of a California roll to me never made any sense because it's like mayo and avocado and like fake crab and shit and you're like what
is this that makes sense to me yeah i mean now that i think about it like you think about you
got your yeah your fake crab it's like the fake people of los angeles you got your avocado
california loves avocados okay and then. You just slather around there. That's the American part.
It certainly is.
It's something all right.
And then we also have, and I'm going to save the best one for last.
All right.
But salmon sushi.
Where does salmon sushi come from?
I mean
I guess I'd say Japan
Even though it's probably not going to be Japan
So here's the thing
If you were to go to Japan and ask for salmon sushi
They would immediately know you're not from Japan
Because
Pacific salmon
Is littered with parasites
And so
If you are eating fish in the Pacific Ocean
You cannot eat salmon
Because they have these parasites that are basically invisible
And so that shit will make you so sick
Interesting
Instead
A place where they don't have
All the other fish
They don't have like unagi and stuff
Another place, the place where this originally comes from
Norway Ah They don't have like unagi and stuff Another place, the place where this originally comes from Norway
Ah
Sam and Sushi was invented
In Norway in the 1980s
Wow
The 80s
Yeah dude, the 80s
It's always crazy because it's like some of these things feel like they're really old
And it's literally like
It happened when I was born
That's what i'm saying
another one bubble tea should make perfect sense um where do you think bubble tea's from
uh i mean probably like i'm gonna say uh. I mean, very close.
Taiwan.
Very close.
But that's the 1980s as well, which I feel like that seems like, okay, yeah, the 1980s.
I never really saw it before that, but it also seems like it's been around so long that
you kind of suspect it to be older.
Yeah, like it's everywhere.
People buy it all the time.
You would think it's been around since mid-1950 or something.
I don't know.
Here's another one.
Poutine.
I mean, it's Canada, but maybe it's France.
Definitely Canada.
1950s.
So Poutine is pretty new.
Buffalo Wings.
It's America as shit, but that's the 60s
Wow the 60s
That's what I'm saying
The 60s
It wasn't until the 60s people were like
Let's make a hot sauce wing thing
Another one that I'm absolutely obsessed with
Is the fact that the lava cake
You know it's the chocolate cake
Where the center is like ooey gooey
Where do you think that's from
I'm not gonna lie I only ever see this at like dominoes
It is from France
Oh okay
And you would think oh it's from France
That must be like an old recipe
From like 1981
It is Oh, it's from France. That must be like an old recipe from like 1981.
It is as old as me.
Oh, yeah.
I guess it would be.
Wow.
1981. 1981.
And then my favorite one, your favorite bread, ciabatta, or as the Crandor, ciabatta.
Yeah.
Where's that from?
I don't know, Italy?
Italy is correct.
Invented in 1982.
82?
I know, dude.
That one blew my mind.
I was like, no, no That one blew my mind. I was like, no.
No.
Blew my mind.
Yeah, that's like something you would think has been around since medieval ages.
It looks like a medieval bread.
It looks like a bread that an old king would eat. It has the look of it and still no.
1982.
Bring me the ciabatta.
1982.
Blew my mind.
I was like, shut up.
That's crazy.
Those are just a little bit of the many.
There's other things on here that's like carpaccio, which I don't think anyone cares about,
or sticky toffee pie was invented in England in the 1960s.
Things like that.
Which you're like, all right, I guess I could see how you could end up from a figgy pudding to a sticky toffee.
I guess the trend.
But some of these on here, it's just like, yeah.
You got this bread that looks like it's from Roman times, invented in the 80s.
Wacky.
Yeah, that's wild.
You know what?
That was a fun little thing. That was a fun little segment. Look at that. Yeah, that's wild. You know what? That was a fun little thing.
That was a fun little segment.
Look at that.
Yeah, look at that.
That was like something you'd hear on an actual morning show.
Sometimes we're like that.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
Other times, God knows what we do here.
Well, you know what?
Just like other morning shows, we have ads, too.
Yeah! Woo! Well, you know what? Just like other morning shows, we have ads too. Whoa.
Yeah.
Woo.
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All right, Crandor, let's go to traffic.
Let's go to the traffic.
Let's go to the traffic.
Oh, boy, traffic is wild.
There's bike people yelling at people.
There's car people yelling at bike people. There's
people throwing
stuff at
I don't know, traffic. There's traffic
throwing stuff at the throwers.
There's helicopters. There's airplanes.
It's prime
holiday traffic and
the jolliest time of the year. Back to you.
Thanks, Crandor.
Now let's go to Crandor at the weather desk.
How's that weather?
Weather.
You like that one?
I was drinking water.
Yes, I love it.
All right, perfect.
This week's weather, we've got a request for Delizard Cornwall, England.
Delizard? Sounds
like a rapper I've never heard of.
The Lizard.
The Lizard. Well, it says
The Lizard. Well, I want
a rapper named The Lizard now. I do too.
Well,
when I look it up, there is no The. It's just
Lizard England.
It is right at the bottom of England
in a country called Cornwall.
It has its own language similar to Welsh and Celtic people of unique ethnic identity,
and it's very, very remote and very different to the rest of the country.
Fun fact, Cornwall is home to pirates and smuggling are also the places called Lizard.
I'm looking at it.
I see the Lizard.
Yeah.
Over in Lizard, England.
It is 52 degrees Fahrenheit.
You got rain possible overnight.
Looking at the old forecast here, you got a high of 46 is what it's going to be feeling like.
Low 51.
Humidity 79%.
Very humid.
Pressure 29.76.
Visibility, 9 miles an hour.
Winds gusting at 19 miles an hour.
You got a 753 a.m. sunrise, 423 p.m. sunset.
You're hitting that 45 on the dew point.
UV index, 0 of 10 with a waxing crescent moon.
Take a look at the 10-day.
We've got Monday, partly cloudy with wind, 53 degrees.
Tuesday, 52, partly cloudy.
Wednesday, 53, partly cloudy.
Then you're going to start dipping.
Partly cloudy, 49 on Thursday.
And then 49 on Friday with rain.
Saturday, 47 with rain and wind.
And then from there on out, it's just in the high 40s with rain.
Hopefully you like that weather.
I imagine if you live there, you're either enjoying it
or you're used to it, one of the two.
So I'm looking at the map right now.
I believe, unless I'm corrected otherwise by people listening,
this is the southernmost point of England?
Looks like it, yeah.
Yeah, everyone's saying that the shoreline is jagged rock and its waters are known as the
ship graveyard this place is great yeah this place is great oh look at this here's something
the name lizard is most probably a corruption of the cornish name lizard meaning high court
it is purely coincidental that much of the peninsula is composed of serpentine bearing rock
the peninsula's original name may have been the celtic pred pred and predanak yeah i think that's
it exactly yeah there you go look at that that's pretty cool what's there to even do there though
yeah what is there in lizard it looks like it looks like almost like a state park. This is like the Florida of England when you look at it.
It's just going the opposite way.
I mean, it kind of is, yeah.
Yeah, it does appear to be a bunch of state park stuff.
There's one road in, really, to Lizard.
There's one road in, and it's the Lighthouse Road.
There's a restaurant called
the witch ball i'm sorry where is the witch ball the witch ball 15th century free house
bro what where yeah which ball actually looks pretty good i see wave crest i see cornish ice
creams i see mungo lils on the hill what is mungo lils on the hill. What is mungo lils on the hill? Mungo lils?
This place looks
uh...
Yes. Alright. I see
your witch ball. Alright.
And I raise you. Mungo
lils on the hill.
This place looks exactly like
a shop on the side of the road
in Florida. Oh my god. That is an ornament
I would buy.
This whole thing is like little tiny beachside ornament things and little tchotchkes.
Oh, I love it.
That is fantastic.
Cornish gift shop. Oh, I absolutely love everything about it.
It's got a little rabbit on it.
This is good, but the witch ball.
Oh, damn.
It literally looks like an old-timey.
Yo. Yeah. Oh, wow. looks like an old timey Yo
Yeah
Oh wow it does look old as shit
It reminds me of the Hobbit pub
Yeah
The Hobbit pub looked old as shit and this looks just like it
Yo what the hell man
This seafood actually looks really good
But they probably like pulled it out of the ocean that day
They probably did
You know they did Yeah I'm looking at the ocean that day. Oh, they probably did. You know, they did.
Yeah.
I'm looking at the muscles and stuff.
They got like a full on crab.
Oh, this is, this is how you know, like this should be a lesson in what to buy or what
not to buy.
Right.
You have an English, uh, you know, like a Sunday roast thing on the first image.
And that's, it looks all right.
Then you have this giant fish and chips.
And I'm like, I'd eat that.
And you have this giant ass crab. I'm like, I'd eat that. Then you have this giant ass crab, I'm like, I'd eat that.
Then you have this giant ass lobster, I'm like, I'd eat that.
And then you have these mussels and potatoes and beer,
and then a photo of the jankest looking hamburger I've ever seen on planet Earth.
That's straight up like, hey, they got the hamburger, and it's like, all right.
That looks like, I don't know if you remember this.
They got the hamburger and it's like alright That looks like I don't know if you remember this
When you were young
Or I know
We had these a lot in college
Where you would
Get like there was a vending machine
That had hamburgers in it
And it would heat it up in the pack
Yeah dude and it would be like
I know Japan does this a lot too
And you would heat it up and you would press like
You know A4 and then it would heat up the hamburger And then you would heat it up. You would press like, you know, A4.
And then it would heat up the hamburger.
And then it would pop it out in the plastic wrap still.
And you would open it.
And it would be like the jankest.
It tasted terrible.
But you were like, I'm just so hungry and drunk.
And you would eat it.
And this looks exactly like that.
It wasn't.
It's like not a bad experience.
But it's certainly not.
You shouldn't do it.
It's on the menu because if
you don't like seafood or like fancy food or like me you're just like i want a hamburger they're
like all right here you go i mean i'm looking at the various versions of this hamburger they have
and it's it's i'm not feeling it at all in any form meanwhile your other options are this giant
beautiful fried fish this enormous crab that looks so good,
all this lobster and big, thick-ass French fries, but I guess that'd be chips.
They look amazing.
Even there's a giant fish sandwich that looks good.
And then the burger's kind of like, I guess I'm here as well.
Yeah, that's like a kid's meal thing.
Yeah, it looks way out of place.
Although, the actual restaurant itself, looking at it, absolutely looks like it maybe has six tables total.
Yeah.
I would eat at this place in a heartbeat.
Oh, I would too.
I wouldn't get a burger.
That makes no sense to me.
But everything else, I'd go crazy. Oh, yeah. I would definitely this place in a heartbeat. Oh, I would too. I wouldn't get a burger. That makes no sense to me. But like everything else, I'd go crazy.
Oh, yeah.
No, I would definitely try this.
I feel like I would get the – I'd get like a lobster or something.
Like something you know they just caught.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like there's one – if you scroll further down, there's literally a fish that they just threw on a grill.
Yeah.
Head and all.
That, I bet bet is delicious oh
yeah it looks terrifying but i bet it's delicious and all the like beers and stuff they got they got
like you they put it in a named glass like you know what you're drinking it's like rattler cornish
cloudy cider like i was just looking i was about to say i love the rattler because on the back of
the rattler cornish cloudy cider on the back of that mug they Cornish Cloudy Cider, on the back of that mug, it's clearly a
snake, except because
the text is covering up, it looks like a Goomba.
Yeah, I can see it.
It looks like a Goomba. I was like,
is that a Goomba back there? That's amazing.
Yeah, I think, you know what's
weird is one of these
images, and I think it sums up British cooking perfectly.
One of these images is of this – it's one table, and on one side I think it's a woman is eating this beautiful, vibrant-looking crab.
It's so colorful.
And then between them is what appears to be like a mashed potato thing and like this very vibrant-looking salad.
And the person closest to us in the camera is eating a sunday roast and it's all brown
and i'm just like yeah that sums it up that's like you know you have all this beautiful stuff
and then the british meal is like the brownest like covered in gravy it's like yeah that's it
that sums it up perfectly.
Yeah, okay.
Let's go to sports.
Sports.
We had sports today.
Yeah.
A lot of NFL football.
We also had Thanksgiving football.
We'll start with that.
Bill's beating the Lions on Thanksgiving.
I was hoping the Lions could pull it out, but they almost did, and they did not. Cowboys beating the Lions on Thanksgiving I was hoping the Lions could pull it out but they almost did and they did not Cowboys beating the Giants
Vikings beating the Patriots
and then today we had the Dolphins crushing the Texans
Bengals beating the Titans
Panthers beating the Broncos
Jets beating the Bears
Commanders beating the Falcons
Browns beating the Buccaneers
Jaguars beating the Ravens
Raiders beating the Seahawks
in overtime, Chargers beating the
Cardinals, 49ers shutting
out the Saints, Chiefs beating the Rams,
and then tonight we've got Packers,
Eagles, and then tomorrow we have Steelers
Colts. Yay!
Hopefully they'll beat the Colts.
Yeah, we'll see.
Steelers are
on the same level as the Packers right now,
though I'm hoping.
I'm hoping.
You say that with like a, like maybe there's hope,
but it's been a bad season for the Steelers, to be honest.
Yeah, Packers, Steelers, a lot of good teams from last year
kind of asked this year, but, you know, mix it up.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, as they say in the business, it's like but you know, mix it up. Yeah, yeah. You know, as they say in the business,
it's like, you know,
we're taking a year to really come
together as a team, and we're, you know,
it's an off year for us,
so we're really trying to develop new talent,
like that kind of thing. Yeah, it's essentially
the we suck this year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In basketball, we got the
Celtics in first, Bucs in second. We got the Cavs, the Pacers, the Hawks, the Wizards, the, yeah, yeah. In basketball, we got the Celtics in first.
Bucks in second.
You got the Cavs, the Pacers, the Hawks, the Wizards, the 76ers,
and the Raptors all in the top eight.
In the West, you got the Suns, the Nuggets, the Pelicans, the Grizzlies, the Clippers, the Kings, the Trailblazers, the Jazz all in the top eight spots.
Also, the Kings have won seven of their last ten games,
and they made it so when they win, they shoot off a laser into the sky.
Love it.
Love it.
Big fan of that.
They also haven't made the NBA playoffs, I think, since 2004.
So they're hoping.
Over in hockey, we got the Bruins in first.
We got the Devils in first. We got the Devils in first.
We have the Stars in first.
And we have the Golden Knights in first.
But out of all those teams, the Bruins and the Devils are the top two in terms of points.
And World Cup's going on.
I don't really know much about the World Cup.
I just know England and USA tied,
and everyone was like, woo,
and that France has the most points.
So, cool.
I'm obsessed with the videos of,
shout out to all the Mexicans in Qatar right now,
because the videos are amazing.
First off, they're dressed up in the best way possible.
But secondly, they're going around teaching people how to say phrases in Spanish that are not what they're actually telling.
They're going around telling locals, you know, this phrase means, you know, go America or something like that.
But they're literally teaching them the Spanish swear words.
And it is, I absolutely love it.
So they're basically telling them to, like, go up to Americans and say this stuff.
It's so good.
It's so good.
I'm like, I love every one of them.
That is pretty great.
Yeah.
So shout out to Mexico.
Not sports.
Okay.
Let's go to our fact of the day.
Fact of the day.
I got two short facts for you.
Okay.
You know what?
I'm down for two short facts.
Yeah, two short.
You know what?
Three. I found another one that's really good. Whoa. All right. Wow. Here we go. okay i like you know what i'm down for two short facts yeah too short you know what the three
i found another one that's really good wow first one the opposite sides of dice will always equal
seven that's right that's one and six two and five three and four all equals seven i never
thought about it that way but you're right. I never thought about it that way, but you're right. Yeah. I never thought of it that way either.
Look at that.
It's interesting.
Is it designed that way, or is it just that's how it ended up being?
I have no idea.
I mean, it's got to be designed that way, right?
Because they could have put the dice in any way.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah, I feel like it seems cooler to me because everything, you know, when it's kind of dice related, you're either trying to get seven or avoid seven. So the fact that it's seven seems cool, but I don't know if that's just me correlating two things that really have nothing to do with each other.
That's possible, yeah.
Then we have the average adult spends more time on the toilet than exercising.
On average, an adult will spend over three hours on the toilet per week,
but only one and a half hours exercising.
Yeah, that checks out.
But that's also like you spend more time sleeping than you do exercising.
You know what I mean?
I don't spend that much time on the toilet. Then maybe you're just built different, dude. Maybe you do exercising. You know what I mean? I don't spend that much time on
the toilet. Then maybe you're just built different,
dude. Maybe you're different. I think I'm just built different.
It did say average. It didn't say like
physically fit, crendor.
I'm not the average American. Plus, when I go
to the bathroom, I'm like in and out. That gallbladder?
That thing's not there.
You know, it'll
get some fiber.
I'm regular. Boom boom no constipation
and i'm not sitting there for like 50 minutes straining
yeah i guess i mean sometimes i feel like it's i feel like i'm pre-programmed to hide out in the
bathroom sometimes that's like i'll bring my phone i'll just sit there reading Twitter. Again, I've said this before
If you ever see me tweet
I'm not on Twitter. If you ever see me tweet
I'm definitely in the bathroom
Is that just because you just
enjoy being in the bathroom?
It's like a meditative experience or is it because you're
struggling? No struggle, I just like
the doors closed, no one can bug me
No one's going to try to bug me, you know what I mean?
So it's essentially just your meditative zone.
Yeah, pretty much.
Maybe that's why even at home, like where no one's going to bug, like there's no one
to bug me.
I'm like in the bathroom and I'll just sit there for like 20 minutes looking at the internet.
That's because your brain finished my business a while ago and still be just like surfing
the net.
Yeah, it's weird.
Your brain knows it's like a this it's
like this is the relaxed time it's gotten used to it i guess so and i'm fine with that um and then
finally we have seven percent of american adults believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows
i'm sorry how many what was seven percent so that's like 1 in 11 almost, isn't it?
Yeah, what is...
I'm going to have to break out the old calculator.
I need to know the actual number.
What would that be?
100 by 7?
Oh my god, how do I...
1, 2, 3.
1, 2, 3.
Times.07.
15.2, right.
Sure, sure, sure.
But I'm saying it's 23 million people.
Oh, I see.
I just want to know how many people were complete idiots.
23 million is the answer.
Here's the thing.
Of those 23 million, they could be children.
Some of them could be children.
That's true.
Well, they said American adults.
Oh, never mind.
Nope, 23 million idiots.
That means out of every 100 people you see, 14.2 of them believe.
I'm sure there's some give or take there because, again, I did it based off of the number of total American citizens.
So obviously some of them are not adults.
So we could say 14 million, and that'd still be too many people.
It's way too many people to believe that.
But it does explain how a lot of youtubers have such a big audience that's true as well yep i mean that
clicks with me like oh yeah there's just a lot of dumb people or just like dude sometimes i'm like
browsing videos or like seeing like other people's tiktoks like uh i was watching uh
the thing where it was like the streamer is doing like a laugh thing, like make me laugh.
And they were submitting TikToks.
I swear to God, I like didn't laugh for like 30 minutes straight of seeing.
I was like, the next one's got to be funny, right?
And it just wasn't.
It was just dumb.
And I was like, am I, like is my sense of humor just not related or correlated?
Like it doesn't tie in with what the kids like today?
I can't even...
Like, my dude, every time I
go to YouTube without being logged
in, or if I'm on
a different device, or, you know,
just when I see normal YouTube that shows
people, it's the same five
people, all making the same face,
and all of them reacting to TikToks.
And I'm just like, this sucks. None of this
is funny, none of this is good, but they have 84 million. And I'm just like, this sucks. None of this is funny. None of this is good.
But they have 84 million views.
And I'm like, this, I just don't understand it.
And I'm not going to hate on them.
They've clearly found, they've cracked the code.
But it is, I don't get it.
Like, I personally don't know why someone would watch it.
It's like some of it's like the mainstream humor where they like
show it on commercials and you're like ah you know
it reaches the most generalized
audience like that type of thing
it's like the corporate humor I guess
where they're gonna be but
then there's like some other dumb humor where it's like
there's these people one tiktok
that they saw was like
these it was like a girl
being like hey everybody here I am and then the like, hey, everybody, here I am.
And then the guy would be like, oh, everybody, here I am.
There's this like mimicking her.
And it had like a bunch of views.
And I was like, this isn't even funny.
He's just like mimicking her.
Like, am I dumb?
There's like no depth.
It's just like, duh.
Right?
You're absolutely right.
There is a set of comedy that falls into the Jay Leno category.
Yeah.
Where it's like non-offensive, totally actually boring comedy that grandma and mom can watch together kind of thing.
Right.
And that's a lot of YouTube stuff.
Oh, yeah.
But then on the flip side, Twitch has a lot of comedy that is the kind
of comedy you'd see at 3am on Adult
Swim that I'm like, I don't think this is for
me. The other day,
I swear to God, everyone was like, dude, this
guy, he and his friends are doing a stream, it's
hilarious. I'm like, they set up a tent
and
they are like
one at a time going into the
tent and I think jerking off.
And then they're all commenting on each other's stuff.
The chat was everyone was laughing.
Everyone was eating it up.
That's like 15-year-old humor of like, dude.
I know.
It's like the swearing.
Like, dude, he said a swear word.
Yeah.
I get it. I get that there's
like that's a comedy that people love I was like I why would you say that this is something I should
watch like if you know me you know I'm gonna be like this is weird this isn't cool this is four
dudes beating off in the room together like this is real weird like this is very strange yeah i it's almost like a
weird slapstick style which like i'm not saying it's like wrong like everybody's got their own
humor and whatever like it's not it's a what you call it subjective or object which one is it
subjective objective i always get the two i mean it I mean, it's subjective. Yeah, subjective. And so it's like, whatever.
But I just, it amazes me because I'm always like,
I just, it's weird how I find this completely not funny,
but other people find it extremely funny.
Which I guess can be said for anything.
Like, I enjoy watching football,
but someone else could watch it and be like,
this is so boring.
Like, oh my God, what's his name?
What's that Tonight Show guy, Jimmy whatever?
Jimmy Fallon?
Easily one of the most unfunny people.
I don't know how he has a show, let alone.
A lot of people think he's hilarious.
I mean, good for him.
He just does not.
He's never once made me be like, he just doesn't do it for me.
He gives me weird vibes.
He gives me creepy vibes, like he's a serial killer or something.
I don't know.
I'm not a huge fan, I'll be honest.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm not a huge fan, I'll be honest. Yeah, I don't like him.
But either way, it doesn't really matter at the end of the day.
Maybe we'd be more popular if we liked this.
Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely correct.
Like I was saying, the dude who was in the jerk tent, incredibly popular.
All these people we see on the front page, the most popular people around.
Like, the most popular YouTubers.
So I'm just saying, yeah, that's probably the reason why we're over here complaining on a podcast and not living in a mansion.
So, yeah.
And I'm going to tell you right now, we are not going to have a jerk tent.
And we are not going to.
Yeah, I'm going to draw the line at the old jerk tent.
I feel like I'm going to, no, that's not for me.
That's what I say.
It almost feels like high school humor.
So I remember being in high school and, like, kids then just being like, dude, yes.
Like, they would just find shit like that funny.
You know what I mean?
Or, like, just saying swear words like, dude, fuck, bro.
And everyone's like, he said fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah. I think we're just old. I think we just aged out of being cool yeah well or whatever cool was we never had it
we never had it and i still don't have it and that's fine yeah i've accepted it i accepted
it a long time ago um i don't know how we got here from chocolate milk cows but either way oh wait i think we were
just like people are dumb i don't know something like that that's your facts of the day all right
what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day menacing wild turkeys led by
kevin are taking a new england city for themselves. I... God.
Go on.
I have so many thoughts, but okay.
A flock of feathered hooligans have been intimidating residents of Woburn, Massachusetts,
and their leader is one especially tough turkey, Kevin.
The five...
You know what?
Usually I hate writing like this, but I'm here for it.
Today, I'm here for it.
The five wild birds spend a lot of time in particular on the lawn of a woman named Megan Tolson,
according to a report from The Guardian appropriately published on Thanksgiving.
Tolson, who gave Kevin his name, characterizes him as the bad egg amongst the otherwise all-female turkey crew.
The hens she calls Gladys, Esther, Monica, and Patricia.
The women are more mellow and not so territorial,
but I think he kind of amps them up
to get them going to chase people,
she told The Guardian.
Well, of course, it's the guy doing that.
Come on, we gotta go chase them!
Tolson has posted multiple videos
showing Kevin lurking near the door of her home or car.
They don't let you out of your house, she said.
While the Guardian brought national attention to Kevin and his band of rogues, local media has also covered their antics in recent months.
They're up at 6 a.m. in Milan and start chasing us, trying to pop the tires.
It's wild.
David Scarpitti, a turkey expert with the wildlife department i said
uh said that these kind of problems arise when turkeys become too habituated to humans typically
this happens due to people feeding them directly or from the turkeys freeloading off of bird feeders
intended for other kinds of birds turkeys are just acting out what they do amongst
themselves he added that running away can feel the problem because they'll begin to see you as
subdominant to them instead he recommends carrying an umbrella and opening it in front of you to
frighten off the birds meanwhile tolson has taken the situation in stride and has even developed
some affection for kevin and co they kind of grow on you a bit, she said.
There's so much I actually learned now about turkeys and birds.
I love the idea that, look, do not run from them.
That makes them establish dominance over you.
You must instead shake an umbrella at them honestly it's like cats if you run from a cat they're gonna think you're like food essentially
they'll chase you down sure sure i i i i get it fascinating yeah um so that's pretty crazy
then you know who's the don't feed wild animals outside.
That's not a good one.
Some people, they're like, I've been feeding the raccoons outside.
There's like 50 raccoons, and they're like making videos. Like, it's the raccoon house.
And it's like, you know, those raccoons are going to tear through the windows and shit.
Like, where's the food?
Where is it?
You forgot your one day of feeding.
100%.
Love it.
Yes. Absolutely here Love it. Yes.
Absolutely here for it.
I love a good animal story.
They're always my favorite.
Yeah.
Just like that.
What was the one?
The seal was in the house.
Yeah.
And broke in.
The guy with the alligator in the convenience mart.
Yeah.
The snake in the car.
The he.
Yeah.
Even, you know what? Even Monkey Mond mondays I always think back to monkey mondays
that's a staple monkey mondays
they still aren't back
they still they're gone
I can't believe they
ruined monkey mondays for everyone
let me just do a quick google check
are monkey
mondays back
no doesn't look like it however there is a ruthless youtube video called
monkey monday official music video but that's not monkey mondays yeah that's not our monkey monday
yeah no so sad times but that's your big news story today. Okay.
Well, that's it for us.
Thank you so much for listening or watching or having enjoyed this podcast.
Crandor.
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Okay.
That is it for us.
Thank you again.
We'll see you all next time.
And as always,
to be continued.