Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 367 - It's Times Like These...
Episode Date: December 12, 2022The boys are back and this week Jesse has SO MANY STORIES TO TELL - but first, Crendor must let us know he's once again a mess. Meanwhile in a town far to the north polar bears are the main attraction..., but not as important as the beer. Then a man steals a thousand dollars worth of toothbrushes while PY-JAMAS become a thing. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 20% off your first order and free shipping. Go to http://hellotushy.com/cox to save big on gifts!
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Now let's jump into this podcast.
Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody, welcome to a Sunday episode of Cox and Crandall in the morning!
Yay!
Yay!
I'm so excited!
Very exciting. Gotta love it. Podcast time.
Well, podcast time. I've got three. Count them. Three stories for you.
Oh man. Here's the crazy thing I spent all week
Sitting here in front of my computer working on a video
I didn't think I was going to have anything for you
And in the last 48 hours
It's all just podcast stories
It's just been wild
Wowie
So we have weird, weirder, weirdest
I'll let you decide
Let's do my stories first then because they're not okay
yeah and then now we now we've built up the people are gonna hype is out there yeah people are ready
yeah yeah uh my stomach hurts i love it that's all right so let me talk about my story. My stomach hurts.
It's just, you know, another classic.
Every, like, so often you just get a fun, like, digestive tract flare up.
I think it's just the stress of holidays and doing everything.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
When you say doing everything, what exactly do you mean?
I just mean, like, doing, like, you know, the content creator grind.
I've been taking brand deals,
doing like YouTube videos, trying to get pointless
top 10 stuff out.
You know, like in comparison,
I'm not like working in the coal mines or
something, but
it all adds up. Plus,
haven't been eating
great or consistently,
I'm a person where I got to eat on a good schedule of I eat now,
I eat then, I eat then, I go to bed at this time.
I don't like having one day I eat at 1 p.m.,
next day I eat at 3 p.m., you know what I mean?
I like my consistency.
I think that being holidays and everything crazy,
I think that messes it up.
So my digestive tract's just all wonky.
Well, I mean, what are you putting in yourself?
The same things, just different times?
Well, somewhat.
Normally my breakfast is pretty consistent,
but let's usually... What are you about to tell me?
Like, lately I've been eating pizza.
Well, I haven't been eating
out a lot, so that's probably
not helping.
Eating out what?
Like, you're eating out versus what I think people are thinking
about eating out might be different.
Let's see. I've had Chipotle.
I had
Taco Bell the other day yeah no all right never mind
yeah no it's that's has been good uh and then yeah just probably all that plow i've been uh
i think i've been had a lot of wine. That probably doesn't help.
Okay.
No, like I'm not drinking like a bottle a day or something, you know, like a glass or two.
A glass or two, you know, just like a jug glass. It's healthy for you.
If a glass is good, a whole bottle is better.
It's those people like, I only had a glass and the glass is like entirely full.
It's like one of those giant wine glasses.
So really it's just the combination of things.
Usually this is like the type of thing that flares up every so often.
This is what I had like years ago too.
So it's, you know, it's nothing new.
It's one of those things where when it happens, I'm like, yeah,
I think I know how I did it.
So you just got to calm down.
Oh, no, thank you.
I don't need any stomach issues. Yeah, no. Thank you. I don't need any stomach issues
Yeah, it's not fun. I wouldn't recommend it
Hold on, did I write down anything?
Oh yeah, I had a dream where my grill exploded.
What were you cooking in that dream?
Nothing. I like looked outside and the grill exploded
The grill was also like ten times bigger and it was like the size of an airplane and it like exploded all over.
What were you doing in this dream?
I was looking outside and I was like, holy shit, the grill exploded.
That was the whole dream was just you looking outside?
Yeah.
I mean, it is certainly a dream you had.
Maybe that grill is my digestive system.
Now I gotta Google what does grill...
I've never heard this before.
What does your grill
exploding in a dream
mean? Oh my god, that actually popped up.
A powerful
symbol...
What?
This is why I don't look up stuff like this.
The first thing it says
when I looked up explosion dream meaning,
I'm a true believer in fate.
If we believe we will fail, then it's likely you will.
Maybe in life things seem to be hard.
Yes, we all have this in life.
How we view anything.
I just want to know about how this damn thing.
Explosions, in my view, hold powerful symbolism
that can encompass various aspects of your life.
The fragility of life, the rapid...
This sucks.
You know what?
I'm angry I looked that up.
Yeah, this is stupid.
Maybe you were afraid that...
Maybe your grill was like,
you don't use me enough, and so I'm going to go.
I don't think so.
I think...
I think... Actually, I don't think so i think i think uh actually i don't know what i
think it's just a weird ass dream yeah i think this is the weird but uh i hoped i'd find an
answer instead i found someone's philosophical outlook on life but okay oh and then last thing
i was thinking of this is just something i thought of it's not even like something that happened
i was thinking of like nostalgia and how if you try to recreate nostalgic moments, they never feel the same.
Right, right.
Because you're looking back at the memory and the memory is better than what it actually was.
Yeah.
And even if you are recreating the exact moment of what it was, it's still like you've changed since then.
People around you have changed
and like your situations have changed like everything's changed you can't go back man
can't go back but what you can do is you make new nostalgia whoa can we can oh my god don't
no one steal this idea copyright cox. Cox and Crandor 2022.
Can we make merch that says new nostalgia?
Oh, man.
That'd be pretty good.
That'd be pretty good. We'd be like the next Supreme.
Yeah.
No one steal this shit.
We're making this.
It's happening.
It's happening this week.
I don't know what it's going to look like.
Dan Tan.
Make us some art.
That's like when we sell at all our shows.
People are like, we got to go to the show.
We got to get the new nostalgia.
Oh, we drop a new nostalgia.
A new nostalgia.
Every time.
There's a new nostalgia shirt.
Oh, man.
I like it.
That's our new evolution.
We've advanced into a top-tier brand.
We're going to make some top-tier clothing.
We got to get models to dress in our clothes.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
Oh, my God.
This is going to be great.
This is it.
Hold on.
I'm just going to do a quick Google search.
Is this a brand?
Well, I mean, it's certainly a store and a band.
Okay.
Okay.
And a thing in the UK.
Okay. And it's. Okay. Okay. But. And a thing in the UK. Okay.
And it's some other.
Oh, it's a candle shop.
But no t-shirts yet.
No t-shirts.
That's the biggest one.
No t-shirts.
And we could.
It doesn't even have to be like new.
It could be like.
It could have like some wonky.
Like an N3W.
Or like, you know, it doesn't have to be that.
It could be an off-brand.
Don't give her one of our ideas, though.
Yeah.
Don't give her one of our ideas.
This is going to be good.
Yeah, this is good.
We got to come up with a design that you're going to want to wear,
like an antisocial social club kind of thing.
We'll come up with something.
We got this.
We got this.
We're about to be billionaires.
Finally.
Finally, I can abuse my power for evil.
I don't know why it's taking so long.
I've been struggling trying to do it for a long time.
Anyway, let's see.
Do I want weird, weirder, weirdest?
You tell me.
Although, I don't know. I guess weird is maybe it's strange, do I want weird, weirder, weirdest You tell me Although I don't know, I guess weird is
Maybe it's strange, we'll say
Strange, stranger, strangest
Okay, let's go
Let's start in the middle at stranger
Okay, so
Today
It has to do, the reasoning
Has to do with the strange
But today I went
To McDonald's to get breakfast because for reasons that I'll get to later, I can't – I have nothing to cook at home now.
And so I went to McDonald's to go get breakfast, but it was like 11 a.m.
And so I was like, I don't even care.
I'm getting breakfast.
And rolled up, went to go order, and they're like, sir, sorry, we don't have breakfast anymore.
It's 11 a.m.
And I was like, don't you have breakfast all day?
And they're like, not today, sir.
I'm like, oh, man.
So I ended up just, like, getting a burger.
And let me tell you, as per usual, not great.
But here's the thing.
As I'm pulling around, there's a woman in front of me.
It's one of those, like, double drive-thru lane things.
And there's a woman in front of me and then an open lane next to us because I guess there was a car there that had moved since I got behind this person.
And I'm not one of those people that's going to switch lanes just to order faster.
I don't give a shit.
I'm just waiting.
So as I'm sitting there A Mercedes pulls up
To the other free spot
But doesn't stop, drives all the way through
And cuts in front of me
In the line
I'm like what the hell
What's going on here
We get up to the first
You know where they take your money, the first window
She rolls down her window
And begins to shout
Loudly at the guy
And she says
So I saw on your sign out there
You
Don't have ice cream
Why don't you have ice cream
It's a McDonald's you should have ice cream
And you can hear the guy going like
It's uh down for the day
And she's like well why is it down for the day
You're telling me you can't do ice cream can you do shakes
And he's like no all the machines are down for the day You're telling me you can't do ice cream can you do shakes And he's like no all the machines are down for the day
She's like so you can't do shakes
You can't do ice cream
Why advertise it then
He's like um
I mean we can't take down the billboard
She's like well then
That's on you
When will it be fixed
He's like I don't know we have to call someone and get them out here, so I don't know.
She's like, well, why would you advertise it when you don't know when you're going to have it back?
And I saw my first Karen.
So she's going full Karen, yelling at this poor guy.
And he's like, I can give you your money back.
And she's like, I didn't order anything.
I just wanted to let you know how rude it is to waste people's time.
I came here because I saw your sign for a special McFlurry and you don't have it. And he's like, I'm sorry, but if you don't need a refund, there's really not much I can do for you
She's like what you can do
Is get your manager
This is the drive through Crandor
The drive through
The irony of her saying how rude it is to waste people's time
As she's wasting everyone's time
Dude
So she's sitting there and I'm getting more and more upset
Because already I don't want to be here
I wanted to make breakfast
I had an omelette in my mind
I was so excited
I'm sitting there getting a McDouble cheeseburger
And I'm like
Okay
So the line behind me is growing
You can see it stretching down
Way past the building
Because it's lunch time
People are trying to get lunch
And she's screaming at this person Finally a manager comes out down way past the building. Because it's lunchtime. People are trying to get lunch.
And she's screaming at this person.
Finally, a manager comes out, and she relitigates the entire conversation again from the start.
Like, how can you do this and promote this thing if you don't have it?
Finally, I just put my hand on my horn and didn't release it.
It was just me just the entire time.
She's yelling at them and she's looking back at me like she wants to fight and I'm just like
and then you can see the guy
who was the cashier
start laughing.
She's yelling louder.
I'm like
finally she flips me off and drives
off and the
people at the window were like, thank you.
And I was like, I'm doing my part.
I couldn't believe she.
It took, I don't know, 11 minutes for her to get through that whole thing.
Longest 11 minutes of my life.
In a drive-thru, dude.
I was going to ask how long it was taking.
Yeah.
I noticed the time.
Trust me.
Because I got there exactly at 11 looking for breakfast. and it was 11-11 when she pulled off.
My God.
That is...
You could have just, you know, pulled up and like, hey, you got the ice cream.
No.
And then left.
Gone anywhere else to the many places with the ice cream.
Yes.
Yeah.
She was not having it.
I was so...
I was like, man, why are people like this the worst
part is i don't need to describe her for you because just like put like upper class rich
karen in your mind well then you just you described her Yeah well alright Any Karen
Just like put a Karen in your mind that's who this person was
Like every Karen you can possibly imagine
I was just
Already furious with her
You know what
Like person's gonna care that much about ice cream
No
And I don't understand why she did either
It's just ice cream
And it's ice cream at McDonald's
It's not like McDonald's ice cream is nothing to get upset about. Oh, no
Not at all. Like I guess it's okay. She was so bad
Plus it's like they're down all the time you would think they would know. It's a meme. Yes. It's down all the time
That's the whole point
Man that's uh Well, all right. That's the whole point Man that's
Well alright that was the mid strange
Yes
Let's go with the normal strange
And then we'll get to the crazy
Alright so
This week was the last week of no elevator
For me I was very excited
Friday the elevator was working again
I took that thing up like a king
I was like you know I've managed to start
By the end of the week I was doing
All the flights of stairs
Non-stop I was like in it
I was powering through I wasn't like
I was doing it
But the elevator came back and I was like
Never doing that again
So I immediately jumped on the elevator
And everything was good
I was so happy to have the elevator back
And then went to bed Friday night
Woke up Saturday
Had to get up early because I had to get this video done
Went to the office right away
And was like oh I'll just grab like some coffee
On the way and like get a croissant
Or some nonsense
So I went to the office and spent the rest of the day
All day working on this video
Didn't go home until 3am last night
Working on this video, bust a mask to get it done
And then you know
Went to bed, just went to bed immediately
Woke up today and thought
I'm going to have a victory omelette
I got some feta cheese and spinach in the fridge
I'm going to like put this omelette together
I love a spinach feta omelette
It's my favorite in the world
I'm like oh yeah This is going to be great
Open up my fridge
The light is off
Everything is room temperature
Everything in my freezer
Has default
And is like
Liquid goop on the
And I was like no
What
At some point
On Saturday My fridge either I don't know what happened.
The power, it's either broken or I don't know.
No clue.
Couldn't even begin to tell you.
I called the front desk and was like, yeah, I think the fridge is out in my apartment.
They're like, don't worry, sir.
We'll send someone up.
He'll be there by 10am
I was like thank you I don't know what
I've done
I wasn't even home apparently
It's clearly been off long enough that it's
No longer cold like the things in it aren't cold
Anymore
And um
Like I
All my stuff is going bad so I'm going to keep it closed
But please can you send someone
They're like yeah yeah they'll be there at 10
So I wait around
10am
10.30
And now at this point I've already promised people
That I'm going to have my video online today
I'm like alright well I can't wait much longer
So 11 o'clock rolls around
I decide screw it
I'm going to go and get this breakfast, which is the breakfast story.
Then I come home and am waiting around for this guy.
And as I walk to my front door, there's a note.
Sorry we missed you.
I'm like, come on.
Are you serious?
So I call the front.
And it isn't like, oh, we let ourselves in and fixed the problem.
It was, oh, well, we didn't know you were home, so call the front desk and reschedule.
I'm like, oh, my God.
So I call the front desk, and I'm like, can you please send someone back up?
They said they were going to be here.
They weren't here at 10.
I left at like 10.50 to go get lunch, came back, and they stopped by then.
They could have just walked in.
They're like, oh, they had permission to enter?
I'm like, yeah, they had permission.
Okay, please send them over.
I'm like, okay, we'll find the team.
You can either be on hold or we can call you back in five minutes.
I'm like, just call me back.
Now it's noon, and I'm waiting.
I'm like, all right, I got to get this video out.
I promised it would be out today.
It's already noon.
12, 12.05, 12.15, 12.45 they finally call back.
Well, he's on site doing another thing, but he'll be there later today.
And I'm like, okay, I can't stay around my apartment today.
I need to go.
I give you permission to enter.
I know you all have the keys.
I give you permission to enter.
Please fix my fridge or give me a new one.
And they're like, all right, we'll get right on that, sir.
I'm like, thank you so much.
I'll talk to you later.
Hang up.
I haven't been home.
I don't know what I'm going to come to when I get home.
It may be a thing for next week, but I'm already super frustrated by the whole damn thing.
And I can't believe when one thing breaks and is fixed, another thing automatically breaks.
This is the story of my life.
It is consistently the story of my life.
Nothing can ever be just fine.
That's me with my health issues.
Gallbladder's gone, and the stomach fires up stomach's fine ibs goes ibs is fine
tooth acts up tooth act then the neck goes neck freaks out right it's just non-stop
oh man this is why look if you're a kid out there if you're like in the back seat of your
parents car and for some reason they're letting you listen to this i want you to know stay a
child forever do not grow up.
Don't grow up.
It does not get any.
You think like, I can't wait to be older.
No.
It's only downhill from there, my friends.
You got responsibilities and problems every damn day.
No, you got to get out of here.
Get out of here.
I want to shake you.
Like, stay a kid forever.
There's going to be some kid that invents like a stay young machine
i would be your guinea pig sign me up
um well did they show up i have no clue i had to come into the office and and get the video out
oh yeah i was like so i'm gonna go home and we'll find out we'll find out they did anything
i was when i was on stream uh some guy was like, oh, did you check the breakers?
And I was like, oh, my.
I totally forgot.
I didn't even think about that as a possibility.
I might have been able to fix it myself and salvage some of whatever was in there.
But, yeah, I had cheese in there.
I've never seen cheese.
You know when it's sliced And then the outside
Becomes like rock hard
Right
I've never seen cheese
Turn into that so quickly
So I was like
Cool
Alright well
So I lost a bunch of food
I had some
Like I like to make smoothies
From time to time
Like healthy smoothies
So I had some like
Stuff in the freezer
That was frozen vegetables
And frozen fruit
That's all not frozen anymore
It's like cool
Yeah that's where I'm at
But what are you going to do
Alright well
What is the strangest
I don't even
This is stranger than the lady at the drive through
Oh way stranger This is stranger than the lady at the drive-thru Oh way stranger
This is amazing
So
The other day I come out to my car
At the office
And I see a guy
Like
Stumbling
He looked like he was 70 years old maybe
Stumbling
Down the street
And I'm looking at him Trying to figure out Does he need help was, I don't know, 70 years old maybe, stumbling down the street.
And I'm looking at him, trying to figure out, does he need help?
Is he drunk?
Because there's a bar nearby.
I'm like, who is this guy?
What's going on with him?
He walks up, and to specify this, it's a Camry.
I know some people might be like, Jesse, it's a Camry.
He walks up to a Camry Clicks his little beeper thing Does not pop
The trunk but instead pops the hood
The front of the car
Pops it open
He peers in
Starts rummaging around
I don't know how much rummaging you can do
But he's rummaging around looking for something
He pulls out a full bottle of vodka.
I,
Grendor, I don't know
why there was a vodka
next to this dude's engine.
I don't know where he put it.
I don't know why he put it there.
He pulled it out, opened it up,
started drinking it and walking away.
I have no
I have no answers
for you.
I don't know if he
like why he was there.
I don't know if he put it there on purpose.
I don't know if he just like
I don't even know if that was his car or if he was told
to go there. Dude, I don't
know anything. I just know that man went to if that was his car or if he was told to go there. Dude, I don't know anything.
I just know that man went to the hood of his car, popped the hood, pulled out a bottle of vodka.
Like a full unopened bottle of vodka.
What the shit?
That's what I'm saying.
That's why it's strangest.
I have no answers for you.
I looked at him and I thought I was watching The Matrix, like, collapse.
I was like wait what?
None of it made sense And he took a swing and like waddle drunkenly back the other direction
the only thing I was thinking is like maybe
He didn't want to get caught with like a bottle of vodka when he's driving, but like it's unopened so like
bottle of vodka when he's driving,
but, like, it's unopened.
So, like, that doesn't make any sense.
And, like, if this was,
I know there's some sports cars where the engine's in the back, right? So, like, that's why
I want to specify it was a Camry.
It wasn't like a sport, like, the trunk isn't
in the front. It was straight up just,
the dude was in the engine,
pulled out a bottle of,
not one of those tiny baby bottles, like a
full bottle of, not one of those tiny baby bottles, like a full bottle of vodka.
Huh.
Maybe doing something with the engine
really powers it up.
I don't know. Well, it wasn't on.
It was just, he
walked over to the car,
opened it up, and then lifted the hood,
rummaged in there,
so it was clearly under some shit.
I have no...
And then pulled out a bottle of vodka.
He's got to be, like, hiding it or something, right?
I would assume.
Why else would you put it there?
It just doesn't...
Like, maybe it's, like, sad and he shouldn't be drinking,
and so he hides his drinking.
But he was visibly drunk.
So I don't know if he's hiding it all that well.
That is...
Huh.
Yeah, that's...
And where's he going?
Does he think he's just going back to his apartment or whatever?
I mean, the car was parked on the street
There's a bar nearby I assumed he was coming
From the bar which is why he was looking a little sloshed
But that may not
Be true because he's walking away with the vodka
And I know they're not going to let him in a bar with that
So
No clue
Couldn't even begin to tell you again just
Completely
Completely strange In the craziest way
once again los angeles california baby
man that is that's the trifecta you got going there yeah there was another story i already
forgot it though it was i was like driving And something happened where it was just crazy
You know crazy people at the intersection again
But I can't remember exactly what happened
Because it was on Monday of last week
I was like damn I gotta remember this for Crandor
Totally forgot because three other
Totally strange things happened
Well
You know what
What if
What if that guy with the vodka Was just the guy going to repair your refrigerator?
That would explain so much about my apartment complex.
Do this shit again.
Like a fifth one this week.
They're never home.
Oh, my God.
So my washer and dryer broke Right
My dryer wasn't making anything hot anymore
My washer was straight up like
Ripping clothes
And so I told them I needed a washer and dryer
And they admittedly got me a brand new
Amazing washer and dryer very good
But it didn't fit in the alcove
Where the washer and dryer I previously had was
So they I guess hired some dudes to come in
And thin the edges of the wall so they
Could fit it in right and
When they did that the floor
Boards they just didn't
Like fix it so it's like
Clear you can clearly see where
The wall used to be right and I'm
Like is anyone gonna come fix this and they're like
Yeah yeah we'll send someone it has been a year
Crandor and I keep bugging them and they're like Oh no we just need to order that we just need to order the The wood stuff for the ground I'm like, is anyone going to come fix this? And they're like, yeah, yeah, we'll send someone. It has been a year, Crandor. And I keep bugging them.
And they're like, oh, no, we just need to order the wood stuff for the ground.
I'm like, okay, you're not going to do this, are you?
Yeah, they're not doing it.
So that's what I deal with.
Is this guy still here?
I thought he'd move out.
That's what I'm telling you, man.
But the problem is, of all the places in L.A., it is the best and cheapest.
Right.
Like, you know, for the cost and what it is, it's way better than anything else in this area for sure.
Yeah.
So I'm not moving, but I'm also just like, okay, fine.
All right.
All right.
It's not that big a deal.
When you close the little, like, doors, the little, like, slotted doors that cover up the washer-dryer, it looks fine.
But when you open those things up, literally, next time you're over, literally the floor is different.
Like, it is a different, you open that, and it's like a different, it's like a, it's insane.
Whenever they put the current flooring over, that's what it is underneath.
So it's like, it's so dumb.
And they just didn't even try to hide it or fix it.
They just wheeled in these things and left.
And I'm still like, okay, well, thanks for caring, I guess.
Wowee.
Yeah, what a week.
What a week.
Let me tell you.
What a week.
That's, oh, yeah, the game awards happened. I, what a week. What a week. Let me tell you. What a week. Oh, yeah, the Game Awards happened.
I watched some of those.
Yeah, I watched all of it.
I was a partnered streamer.
That was crazy.
I don't know how that happened.
That is crazy.
I didn't even stream it because everybody else was streaming it,
and I was just like, I don't give a shit.
So I just watched on Gmart's stream,
and pretty much I only watch the game awards for the announcements of
game sure i mean that's everything else is is awkward yeah it's super awkward just al pacino
coming out being like hey i i don't know what a video game is but you know like i got i can't
read the teleprompter i love that he was like i i can't read the teleprompter. I love that he was like, I can't read the teleprompter.
I was like, that's the most Pacino thing I've ever seen.
He's like, I don't even care that I'm here.
But my kids and my grandkids, they know about this gaming.
So here I am.
I thought that was very sweet, that it's pretty obvious he doesn't care,
but his grandkids do, and so that's why he did it.
And I was like, that's sweet.
It's awkward because they clearly gave him the smallest teleprompter in the world, but still.
And then the God of War guy giving like a 15-minute speech.
I got up at one point.
I was like, I'm going to go pee and make a coffee.
And I came back, and he was still going.
Still going?
I was like, is this going to be the
entire show or something?
It was.
I felt they should have said something
but the messed up thing is they just kept letting
him go and then the rest of the night
everyone shit talked him. I was like,
no one told the man not to do that.
Yeah. He was just speaking his
mind and having an emotional moment
and then the rest of the night, they're like,
well, we have to hurry up because Chris Judge was talking too long.
And it's like, that's on you, not him.
Yeah, they should have came out and been like, all right, all right, all right.
Like, you know, indicating him to stop.
But they did not.
So, you know, and overall, like, yeah, the actual awards, who cares, right?
Like, I mean, it could be like the Crenn Awards or something.
It's the same tier.
Yeah.
But the trailers, fire.
There's so many good things.
Oh, yeah.
Those were pretty solid.
Yeah.
I was like, ooh, this is going to be a good year.
So 2023, the year Jesse continues to just play video games, it's going to be a good one.
Wow. Yeah, good one. Wow.
Yeah, I know.
Crazy.
I didn't see that one coming.
Yeah, I didn't see it.
I twisted it.
No one expected that.
But you know what else no one expects?
Promotional advertisements in a podcast?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you should expect to have, oh boy, here we go.
You should expect, Segway Master incoming.
You should expect to have a well taken care of butt after this week.
Because today, Tushy is sponsoring this podcast. That's right.
Hello, Tushy is here to take care of that butt.
We're in that time of year where everyone's being thankful for things and we're all taking care of each other.
Well, take care of your butt and be thankful that Hello Tushy's out there.
It's the gift that over a million shiny bums have used.
Man, let's say your family's bringing, I don't know, IBS home for the holidays, right?
Well, fitting your toilets with a Hello Tushy bidet will make sure that no one has to sit down at the dinner table with that dirty butthole.
You know what I'm saying?
When you're wiping your butt, just think about it.
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You know that's not good enough, right?
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I was about to say it changes the way you poo, but it changes everything. You can't go back.
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It's going to change the way you go to the bathroom.
Save up to $30 when you go to hellotushy.com slash Cox,
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I cannot stress this enough.
Every single time we talk about MeUndies, we say that we're wearing them, we're loving them, and I don't know if you believe us or not,
but every time someone out there buys me undies,
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All right, Crendor, let's go to traffic.
Let's go to the sky.
The Crendor House at traffic.
Oh, boy.
Traffic, yet again, only gets crazier as we get closer to Christmas.
getting wacky wild cars, trains, planes, automobiles, surfboards, skateboards,
ice skaters, rollerbladers, you name it.
They're out there.
Watch out.
Back to you.
Thanks, Crandonauts.
Go to Crandonauts.
The weather.
How's that weather?
I forgot what we were doing.
I had a momentary like, hold on, where are we?
How's the weather?
I got to get my vodka.
Weather request.
Our top weather request for the week.
Churchill, Canada.
Why do I know?
I actually know Churchill, Canada.
Why do I know that?
I don't know. A northern town that lies right on the migration path of polar bears,
which just so happens to coincide with Halloween.
Sending their kids out for a retreat while there are hungry polar bears
roaming through the area seems like it would be a bad combo,
but they won't let that stop them.
That's why I know this, because I watched a documentary about the Hudson Bay.
Oh, yeah, it's in Manitoba.
Okay, yeah, all right.
Let's see.
Churchill, Canada.
We don't have an old fort, Fort Churchill.
Currently in Churchill, Canada.
It is five degrees Fahrenheit.
Wowee.
It's a feeling like negative 2.
Humidity of 83%.
Pressure 30.48 inches.
Visibility 10 miles.
Winds 3 mile an hour.
Dew point 1.
UV index 0 of 10.
Moon phase waning gibbous.
You got a sunrise of 8.58 a.m.
Sunset of 3.21 p.mm wowee uh looking at the 10 day
uh we have monday at 21 degrees and cloudy tuesday 22 degrees fahrenheit mostly cloudy
wednesday 18 mostly cloudy thursday 16 cloudy friday 9 degrees light snow and Saturday 0 degrees with snow and Sunday negative
1 with snow and Monday negative 9 with snow I went I went to look at the town and uh town is a
relative term the street view on google imagine the flattest I don't want to say deadest looking place
but it looks like
what you would imagine a tundra to look like.
It is
barren.
Except there was one big
building in the distance so I was like, okay I'm going to go check
out the big building. What is this? Pulled up to
it on the street view, polar bear
holding facility.
Oh my god.
That's the biggest thing around here. Everything else,
I see absolutely nothing.
There's a few buildings, but
I feel like those are state owned.
I don't know, man. There's not a lot.
That's crazy.
That is. I see the
Miss Piggy plane wreck.
I don't know if you see that one.
It is.
This place is so empty and barren
that on most of the images of Street View,
the only thing that looks like there's life
is the reflection and shadow of the car
taking the camera shots.
However,
there is the Berry Good
vending machine
at the airport.
Berry Good.
That's it?
We also have Monk's Cafe,
the Lazy
Besser Cafe,
and the Dancing Bear Restaurant
and Churchill Hotel.
That seems to be the big place popping off
here. Churchill, Canada.
Things to do.
There's the Churchill Hotel.
There are, in fact,
polar bears just roaming
around.
Yeah, wow.
This place
also just looks like someone's house.
The Churchill Northern Studies Center.
The Parks Canada Visitor Center, which looks like an old train caboose thing.
Dog sledding.
Prince of Wales Fort, which is the Miss Piggy plane wreck.
Yep, there it is.
That's number six of things to do
Is go visit a plane wreck
National Park
National Park
Here Be Bears
Which I would guess is a shop
Northern Frontier Adventures
This is like
Some off the map stuff
Yeah this is
Great white bear tours Some off the map stuff. Yeah, this is great.
Bear tours.
Oh, my God.
This is number 13 through number 19 are all bear related.
I mean, as they should be, of course.
Well, yeah, I'm more interested in the Arctic Trading Company.
What is this?
Arctic Trading Company?
Like, imagine a store where everything is wood.
And in it is also polar bear merch.
Wow.
That is, there's a photo of it at night.
I couldn't live there.
That's scary
That's too dark
The Tundra Pub
Tundra Pub?
Oh yeah, this is the spot
Let me link this to you
The Tundra Pub
This appears
To be the spot
Looks like small, but like
That burger looks fire
They got fish tacos Oh my god The food looks like small but like that burger looks fire they got fish tacos oh my god
the food looks like pretty refined to be served with uh what is this beer kokani
glacier glacier frozen beer oh i guess there is kokani glacier park their Their mascot on their webpage is Crendor
That's like Bigfoot
Oh yeah Bigfoot is 100% involved
In promotion of this
In order to see the website I had to enter what province
I was from which is
Not Adelaide
I lied
They're like are you Canadian
If you want to see our beer You gotta be Canadian I lied. They're like, are you Canadian? And you're like, yes.
If you want to see our beer, you really got to be Canadian.
Or it's like you enter a different province, and they're just like, no, sorry, we hate that place.
I'm trying to figure out if this is like a good beer or if it's kind of like, you know, Milwaukee's best.
You know what I mean?
I think it's a Milwaukee's best.
If I had to take a wild guess, that's what I would go with.
Yeah.
Canadians out there, on a scale of, I don't know, Molson and Labatt,
where does this fit in?
Where does this fit in?
Let me know.
Yeah, we'll see.
Will we?
I hope so.
That's the weather.
All right.
Let's go to sports.
Sports.
Taking a look at the sports desk.
Here we go now at the sports desk.
Everyone else is at the sports desk.
Sports.
So here at sports, Lions beating the Vikings today.
The Rams beat the Raiders on Thursday.
Ravens beat the Steelers.
Bengals beat the Browns.
The Bills beat the Jets.
Cowboys beat the Texans.
Eagles crushed the Giants.
Jaguars beat the Titans.
Chiefs beat the Broncos. Panthers beat the Texans, Eagles crushed the Giants, Jaguars beat the Titans, Chiefs beat the Broncos,
Panthers beat the Seahawks, 49ers crushed the Buccaneers, and currently the Chargers are beating the Dolphins 3-0.
Then, over in basketball, we take a look at some standings.
We got the Celtics up at the top, we got the Bucs, Cavs, Nets, 76ers, Pacers, Hawks, and Knicks in the top 8.
In the West, you got the Pelicans, the Grizzlies, Nuggets, Suns, Kings, Trailblazers, Clippers, Warriors.
And that's the top eight over there.
But again, we're not even halfway through the season.
Over in hockey.
You got the Bruins up there at the top with the Maple Leafs right behind
them you got the Devils at the top
with the Hurricanes behind them
you got the Jets at the top
tied with the Stars actually
and then the Golden Knights at the top
and they're pretty much up there alone
cracking Kings right behind them but not
too close and
there's other sport
going on oh yeah the World Cup hold on let's check in on the World Cup yeah that's a other sport going on. Oh, yeah, the World Cup.
Hold on, let's check in on the World Cup.
Yeah, that's a thing still going on.
Let's see.
Currently, it is down to Argentina against Croatia
and France versus Morocco.
So, down to the final four.
We'll see
how that plays out.
That's sports.
We will see.
All right.
What is our fact of the day?
Fact of the day.
I'm doing songs for every segment. I noticed. I'm doing songs
for every segment.
I noticed. I'm aware.
Sometimes they're bangers and sometimes
they're just like medieval marches.
I actually got two.
One was from last week.
I kept it open.
That I found was pretty interesting.
So the people started wearing pajamas,
originally spelled P-Y-J-A-M-A-S.
Pyjamas.
Pyjamas.
I love a good pyjama.
They started wearing them originally instead of nightgowns so they'd be prepared to
run outside in public during world war one air raids in england is that true i may say it's true
what is the thing that like you know cowboys would wear or it's like they had the butt flap
i think those are the butt flaps right but, but isn't that a... That's before World War I.
Well, that's not pajamas, though.
I guess you're right.
I guess a pajama needs a top and a bottom, not a onesie.
You're right.
You're all right.
I'll allow it.
And then, this one's pretty crazy.
Freelancers, originally referred to self-employed sword-wielding mercenaries.
Literally, Freelancers.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, that one's pretty cool. I never even
thought of that.
But it makes sense, obviously.
Yeah, I like that. See, that's a fact.
This whole
pyjama thing, I don't know if I'd trust that.
Pyjamas.
Pyjamas? That sounds so un if I trust that. Pajamas. Pajamas?
That sounds so un-British.
Pajama.
Well, they probably just were like,
pajama, pajama.
Pajamas.
Pajama.
Send your angry letters,
Karev Krendor.
But, that's your facts of the day.
All right.
What is our big news story of the day?
Big news story of the day.
We actually got two of them because they're kind of shorter.
One is a Florida man stole $1,375 worth of toothbrushes and threw them off a bridge.
Okay.
So the start of this story, you said he stole $1,000.
I'm like, all right, so he stole some money.
And then you said toothbrushes.
And I was like, okay, that's weird.
And then he said, and then threw them off a bridge.
And that took me on a roller coaster of I don't know what any of that means.
Boo!
Where do you get those toothbrushes?
Like, did he go to the toothbrush factory?
Where do you get a thousand toothbrushes?
Let's find out.
Tracy J. Mofield of Islamorada is charged with larceny.
37 years old.
According to the Monroe County
police
squad,
he stole $1,375
worth of
Wait.
Oh, six electric toothbrushes
worth $1,375
from a Walgreens.
Oh, okay. Alright.
I was about to say, normal-ass toothbrush?
That's like a buck.
So what is he doing?
Electric toothbrushes?
Okay.
Yeah, electric toothbrushes.
Although, they'd be raising the prices of normal-ass toothbrushes, too.
It's just plastic and little bristle things.
They're charging like $5, $6.
Nah.
That's why you need to get on that quip train.
You got to get on that quip train.
Deputies say witnesses saw Moffield leave the store with the items without paying they added he was in a white lexus deputies
located the lexus but mofield sped away the vehicle is spotted again where deputies took
mofield into custody sheriff's office says he admitted to stealing the items and throwing them
off the long key bridge oh yeah why'd he throw them off the bridge? Was he like, oh, he's gonna get caught?
Maybe that's why he did it?
Yeah, but also, why do you need that
many toothbrushes to begin with?
Yeah, I don't know.
Why is he stealing six of them?
I guess maybe he's gonna resell them?
I didn't know that the
aftermarket toothbrush
industry was big. I had no idea.
What did you buy on the black market? had no idea. What did you buy
on the black market? I bought drugs.
What did you buy? Oh, an electric toothbrush.
Damn, those are hard to get.
People be stealing those like crazy.
I thought my
heroin was hard to get, but electric toothbrush?
Forget about it. People just
throwing them off bridges.
Meanwhile, just some guy sitting under a bridge
just like, whoa, I like your toothbrush.
I wonder, yeah, do they recover the toothbrushes
or was that part of the plan?
Like you threw them under the bridge
and then it was like a, you know,
Mission Impossible movie
where there's a boat down there
where there were guys waiting for the toothbrushes.
Yeah.
So that happened.
Then we have prison time for Miami fortune teller who took $3 million from woman to lift family curse.
Yep, well, curse lifted?
Did she see this coming? How did I know that that was gonna be the start of this article
always is a federal judge sentenced a so-called psychic and fortune teller from miami who
prosecutors say swindled more than three million out of a woman by claiming she needed the money
to break a family curse 51 year old samantha stevens was sentenced to spend 30 months in
prison on fraud and money laundering charges
According to prosecutors, Stevens met the victim in 2012, gained her trust, convinced that a curse had been placed on her family
Stevens claimed she needed to perform rituals on large sums of money in order to lift the curse
Wait, what do you mean? Perform rituals on large sums of money?
Yep
That's what it says What? Perform rituals on large sums of money? Yep.
So it says... What?
I don't even know what that means.
Like, you bring the money and then she's like,
Avada Kedavra, and then the curse is lifted?
How does this work?
I guess.
I don't know.
According to prosecutors...
Oh, wait.
It says the victim was led to believe that if she didn't hand over the money,
she and her family would be harmed. Stevens, along 42 year old michael paul guzman with whom she was in a
relationship spent the victim's money on vehicles property and casino gambling they said the two
took the woman's money over a four-year period ending in 2016 after the victim could no longer
pay for the rituals that led the victim to contact federal law enforcement.
Guzman was sentenced to spend 38 months in prison.
The two will have to pay nearly $3.2 million in restitution.
They never said, oh, man, we got enough.
Now we can say that we've cured the curse or whatever.
They kept going until she was like, I have no more money.
And then they were like, fine, and left.
And that's why she called.
I would have been like, oh, we don't need to pay us,
we'll do it for free. Oh, and now you're cured! Oh, that's crazy!
They didn't even think to do that?
Oh my god. Yeah.
That is...
And then the fact that, like,
you know what I gotta do to lift this curse,
obviously, is I need large
sums of money.
I feel like after the million dollar mark,
I would have been like,
you know, I don't think this is working.
Three million?
That's mind-blowing.
That is...
That is wild.
Like, my God.
Yeah, you would think I wouldn't even...
If it was like a hundred bucks,
I'd be like, nah, I'm good.
I'll take the curse.
Maybe if I really thought my family was cursed, 100 would be fine.
And 200.
But once you start to get to the 1,000 range, I'd be like, what are you actually doing to stop this curse?
Yeah.
Yeah, what is she doing?
Is she just...
When did this happen?
This happened in 2012?
So this has been happening for a long-ass time.
Yeah, they said they did it over years.
Yeah, so she must have been like...
It's got to be like a manipulation thing, right?
I mean, certainly.
But it's also crazy to me that you would...
Basically, you are cursed.
Because you allow people to do...
You're like, I'm cursed! And then you allow people to take $3 million from you
Curse continues if anything
Proof of the curse
Yeah
You brought a curse upon yourself
You probably had no curse to begin with
And you self fulfilled your own prophecy
Yeah this is a self fulfilling
Prophecy curse
Yeah that was it
She got got by her own self
She got got
She got got
Those are
Your news stories of the day
Alright well that's it for us
Thanks so much for listening and watching
I hope you enjoyed this podcast
Crendor hit it with the socials
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We do too much, y'all.
We do too much.'all we do too much
that's it
alright
that's it for us
we'll see you next time
and as always
oh
don't make it that you