Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 367 - It's Times Like These...

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

The boys are back and this week Jesse has SO MANY STORIES TO TELL - but first, Crendor must let us know he's once again a mess. Meanwhile in a town far to the north polar bears are the main attraction..., but not as important as the beer. Then a man steals a thousand dollars worth of toothbrushes while PY-JAMAS become a thing. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 20% off your first order and free shipping. Go to http://hellotushy.com/cox to save big on gifts!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Tushy. Hello, Tushy. He's gonna get your butt feeling oh so good. Also today we're brought to you by MeUndie. Speaking of your butt and feeling good, MeUndie's got you covered as well. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody, welcome to a Sunday episode of Cox and Crandall in the morning! Yay! Yay! I'm so excited! Very exciting. Gotta love it. Podcast time. Well, podcast time. I've got three. Count them. Three stories for you. Oh man. Here's the crazy thing I spent all week Sitting here in front of my computer working on a video
Starting point is 00:01:09 I didn't think I was going to have anything for you And in the last 48 hours It's all just podcast stories It's just been wild Wowie So we have weird, weirder, weirdest I'll let you decide Let's do my stories first then because they're not okay
Starting point is 00:01:26 yeah and then now we now we've built up the people are gonna hype is out there yeah people are ready yeah yeah uh my stomach hurts i love it that's all right so let me talk about my story. My stomach hurts. It's just, you know, another classic. Every, like, so often you just get a fun, like, digestive tract flare up. I think it's just the stress of holidays and doing everything. Whoa, whoa, whoa. When you say doing everything, what exactly do you mean? I just mean, like, doing, like, you know, the content creator grind.
Starting point is 00:02:07 I've been taking brand deals, doing like YouTube videos, trying to get pointless top 10 stuff out. You know, like in comparison, I'm not like working in the coal mines or something, but it all adds up. Plus, haven't been eating
Starting point is 00:02:24 great or consistently, I'm a person where I got to eat on a good schedule of I eat now, I eat then, I eat then, I go to bed at this time. I don't like having one day I eat at 1 p.m., next day I eat at 3 p.m., you know what I mean? I like my consistency. I think that being holidays and everything crazy, I think that messes it up.
Starting point is 00:02:47 So my digestive tract's just all wonky. Well, I mean, what are you putting in yourself? The same things, just different times? Well, somewhat. Normally my breakfast is pretty consistent, but let's usually... What are you about to tell me? Like, lately I've been eating pizza. Well, I haven't been eating
Starting point is 00:03:09 out a lot, so that's probably not helping. Eating out what? Like, you're eating out versus what I think people are thinking about eating out might be different. Let's see. I've had Chipotle. I had Taco Bell the other day yeah no all right never mind
Starting point is 00:03:27 yeah no it's that's has been good uh and then yeah just probably all that plow i've been uh i think i've been had a lot of wine. That probably doesn't help. Okay. No, like I'm not drinking like a bottle a day or something, you know, like a glass or two. A glass or two, you know, just like a jug glass. It's healthy for you. If a glass is good, a whole bottle is better. It's those people like, I only had a glass and the glass is like entirely full. It's like one of those giant wine glasses.
Starting point is 00:04:06 So really it's just the combination of things. Usually this is like the type of thing that flares up every so often. This is what I had like years ago too. So it's, you know, it's nothing new. It's one of those things where when it happens, I'm like, yeah, I think I know how I did it. So you just got to calm down. Oh, no, thank you.
Starting point is 00:04:24 I don't need any stomach issues. Yeah, no. Thank you. I don't need any stomach issues Yeah, it's not fun. I wouldn't recommend it Hold on, did I write down anything? Oh yeah, I had a dream where my grill exploded. What were you cooking in that dream? Nothing. I like looked outside and the grill exploded The grill was also like ten times bigger and it was like the size of an airplane and it like exploded all over. What were you doing in this dream?
Starting point is 00:04:50 I was looking outside and I was like, holy shit, the grill exploded. That was the whole dream was just you looking outside? Yeah. I mean, it is certainly a dream you had. Maybe that grill is my digestive system. Now I gotta Google what does grill... I've never heard this before. What does your grill
Starting point is 00:05:09 exploding in a dream mean? Oh my god, that actually popped up. A powerful symbol... What? This is why I don't look up stuff like this. The first thing it says when I looked up explosion dream meaning,
Starting point is 00:05:27 I'm a true believer in fate. If we believe we will fail, then it's likely you will. Maybe in life things seem to be hard. Yes, we all have this in life. How we view anything. I just want to know about how this damn thing. Explosions, in my view, hold powerful symbolism that can encompass various aspects of your life.
Starting point is 00:05:50 The fragility of life, the rapid... This sucks. You know what? I'm angry I looked that up. Yeah, this is stupid. Maybe you were afraid that... Maybe your grill was like, you don't use me enough, and so I'm going to go.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I don't think so. I think... I think... Actually, I don't think so i think i think uh actually i don't know what i think it's just a weird ass dream yeah i think this is the weird but uh i hoped i'd find an answer instead i found someone's philosophical outlook on life but okay oh and then last thing i was thinking of this is just something i thought of it's not even like something that happened i was thinking of like nostalgia and how if you try to recreate nostalgic moments, they never feel the same. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Because you're looking back at the memory and the memory is better than what it actually was. Yeah. And even if you are recreating the exact moment of what it was, it's still like you've changed since then. People around you have changed and like your situations have changed like everything's changed you can't go back man can't go back but what you can do is you make new nostalgia whoa can we can oh my god don't no one steal this idea copyright cox. Cox and Crandor 2022. Can we make merch that says new nostalgia?
Starting point is 00:07:09 Oh, man. That'd be pretty good. That'd be pretty good. We'd be like the next Supreme. Yeah. No one steal this shit. We're making this. It's happening. It's happening this week.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I don't know what it's going to look like. Dan Tan. Make us some art. That's like when we sell at all our shows. People are like, we got to go to the show. We got to get the new nostalgia. Oh, we drop a new nostalgia. A new nostalgia.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Every time. There's a new nostalgia shirt. Oh, man. I like it. That's our new evolution. We've advanced into a top-tier brand. We're going to make some top-tier clothing. We got to get models to dress in our clothes.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Oh, yeah, 100%. Oh, my God. This is going to be great. This is it. Hold on. I'm just going to do a quick Google search. Is this a brand? Well, I mean, it's certainly a store and a band.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Okay. Okay. And a thing in the UK. Okay. And it's. Okay. Okay. But. And a thing in the UK. Okay. And it's some other. Oh, it's a candle shop. But no t-shirts yet. No t-shirts.
Starting point is 00:08:14 That's the biggest one. No t-shirts. And we could. It doesn't even have to be like new. It could be like. It could have like some wonky. Like an N3W. Or like, you know, it doesn't have to be that.
Starting point is 00:08:25 It could be an off-brand. Don't give her one of our ideas, though. Yeah. Don't give her one of our ideas. This is going to be good. Yeah, this is good. We got to come up with a design that you're going to want to wear, like an antisocial social club kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:08:40 We'll come up with something. We got this. We got this. We're about to be billionaires. Finally. Finally, I can abuse my power for evil. I don't know why it's taking so long. I've been struggling trying to do it for a long time.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Anyway, let's see. Do I want weird, weirder, weirdest? You tell me. Although, I don't know. I guess weird is maybe it's strange, do I want weird, weirder, weirdest You tell me Although I don't know, I guess weird is Maybe it's strange, we'll say Strange, stranger, strangest Okay, let's go Let's start in the middle at stranger
Starting point is 00:09:14 Okay, so Today It has to do, the reasoning Has to do with the strange But today I went To McDonald's to get breakfast because for reasons that I'll get to later, I can't – I have nothing to cook at home now. And so I went to McDonald's to go get breakfast, but it was like 11 a.m. And so I was like, I don't even care.
Starting point is 00:09:40 I'm getting breakfast. And rolled up, went to go order, and they're like, sir, sorry, we don't have breakfast anymore. It's 11 a.m. And I was like, don't you have breakfast all day? And they're like, not today, sir. I'm like, oh, man. So I ended up just, like, getting a burger. And let me tell you, as per usual, not great.
Starting point is 00:09:58 But here's the thing. As I'm pulling around, there's a woman in front of me. It's one of those, like, double drive-thru lane things. And there's a woman in front of me and then an open lane next to us because I guess there was a car there that had moved since I got behind this person. And I'm not one of those people that's going to switch lanes just to order faster. I don't give a shit. I'm just waiting. So as I'm sitting there A Mercedes pulls up
Starting point is 00:10:24 To the other free spot But doesn't stop, drives all the way through And cuts in front of me In the line I'm like what the hell What's going on here We get up to the first You know where they take your money, the first window
Starting point is 00:10:39 She rolls down her window And begins to shout Loudly at the guy And she says So I saw on your sign out there You Don't have ice cream Why don't you have ice cream
Starting point is 00:10:55 It's a McDonald's you should have ice cream And you can hear the guy going like It's uh down for the day And she's like well why is it down for the day You're telling me you can't do ice cream can you do shakes And he's like no all the machines are down for the day You're telling me you can't do ice cream can you do shakes And he's like no all the machines are down for the day She's like so you can't do shakes You can't do ice cream
Starting point is 00:11:10 Why advertise it then He's like um I mean we can't take down the billboard She's like well then That's on you When will it be fixed He's like I don't know we have to call someone and get them out here, so I don't know. She's like, well, why would you advertise it when you don't know when you're going to have it back?
Starting point is 00:11:29 And I saw my first Karen. So she's going full Karen, yelling at this poor guy. And he's like, I can give you your money back. And she's like, I didn't order anything. I just wanted to let you know how rude it is to waste people's time. I came here because I saw your sign for a special McFlurry and you don't have it. And he's like, I'm sorry, but if you don't need a refund, there's really not much I can do for you She's like what you can do Is get your manager
Starting point is 00:12:08 This is the drive through Crandor The drive through The irony of her saying how rude it is to waste people's time As she's wasting everyone's time Dude So she's sitting there and I'm getting more and more upset Because already I don't want to be here I wanted to make breakfast
Starting point is 00:12:23 I had an omelette in my mind I was so excited I'm sitting there getting a McDouble cheeseburger And I'm like Okay So the line behind me is growing You can see it stretching down Way past the building
Starting point is 00:12:41 Because it's lunch time People are trying to get lunch And she's screaming at this person Finally a manager comes out down way past the building. Because it's lunchtime. People are trying to get lunch. And she's screaming at this person. Finally, a manager comes out, and she relitigates the entire conversation again from the start. Like, how can you do this and promote this thing if you don't have it? Finally, I just put my hand on my horn and didn't release it. It was just me just the entire time.
Starting point is 00:13:07 She's yelling at them and she's looking back at me like she wants to fight and I'm just like and then you can see the guy who was the cashier start laughing. She's yelling louder. I'm like finally she flips me off and drives off and the
Starting point is 00:13:23 people at the window were like, thank you. And I was like, I'm doing my part. I couldn't believe she. It took, I don't know, 11 minutes for her to get through that whole thing. Longest 11 minutes of my life. In a drive-thru, dude. I was going to ask how long it was taking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I noticed the time. Trust me. Because I got there exactly at 11 looking for breakfast. and it was 11-11 when she pulled off. My God. That is... You could have just, you know, pulled up and like, hey, you got the ice cream. No. And then left.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Gone anywhere else to the many places with the ice cream. Yes. Yeah. She was not having it. I was so... I was like, man, why are people like this the worst part is i don't need to describe her for you because just like put like upper class rich karen in your mind well then you just you described her Yeah well alright Any Karen
Starting point is 00:14:25 Just like put a Karen in your mind that's who this person was Like every Karen you can possibly imagine I was just Already furious with her You know what Like person's gonna care that much about ice cream No And I don't understand why she did either
Starting point is 00:14:43 It's just ice cream And it's ice cream at McDonald's It's not like McDonald's ice cream is nothing to get upset about. Oh, no Not at all. Like I guess it's okay. She was so bad Plus it's like they're down all the time you would think they would know. It's a meme. Yes. It's down all the time That's the whole point Man that's uh Well, all right. That's the whole point Man that's Well alright that was the mid strange
Starting point is 00:15:08 Yes Let's go with the normal strange And then we'll get to the crazy Alright so This week was the last week of no elevator For me I was very excited Friday the elevator was working again I took that thing up like a king
Starting point is 00:15:23 I was like you know I've managed to start By the end of the week I was doing All the flights of stairs Non-stop I was like in it I was powering through I wasn't like I was doing it But the elevator came back and I was like Never doing that again
Starting point is 00:15:39 So I immediately jumped on the elevator And everything was good I was so happy to have the elevator back And then went to bed Friday night Woke up Saturday Had to get up early because I had to get this video done Went to the office right away And was like oh I'll just grab like some coffee
Starting point is 00:15:56 On the way and like get a croissant Or some nonsense So I went to the office and spent the rest of the day All day working on this video Didn't go home until 3am last night Working on this video, bust a mask to get it done And then you know Went to bed, just went to bed immediately
Starting point is 00:16:12 Woke up today and thought I'm going to have a victory omelette I got some feta cheese and spinach in the fridge I'm going to like put this omelette together I love a spinach feta omelette It's my favorite in the world I'm like oh yeah This is going to be great Open up my fridge
Starting point is 00:16:27 The light is off Everything is room temperature Everything in my freezer Has default And is like Liquid goop on the And I was like no What
Starting point is 00:16:42 At some point On Saturday My fridge either I don't know what happened. The power, it's either broken or I don't know. No clue. Couldn't even begin to tell you. I called the front desk and was like, yeah, I think the fridge is out in my apartment. They're like, don't worry, sir. We'll send someone up.
Starting point is 00:17:04 He'll be there by 10am I was like thank you I don't know what I've done I wasn't even home apparently It's clearly been off long enough that it's No longer cold like the things in it aren't cold Anymore And um
Starting point is 00:17:18 Like I All my stuff is going bad so I'm going to keep it closed But please can you send someone They're like yeah yeah they'll be there at 10 So I wait around 10am 10.30 And now at this point I've already promised people
Starting point is 00:17:33 That I'm going to have my video online today I'm like alright well I can't wait much longer So 11 o'clock rolls around I decide screw it I'm going to go and get this breakfast, which is the breakfast story. Then I come home and am waiting around for this guy. And as I walk to my front door, there's a note. Sorry we missed you.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I'm like, come on. Are you serious? So I call the front. And it isn't like, oh, we let ourselves in and fixed the problem. It was, oh, well, we didn't know you were home, so call the front desk and reschedule. I'm like, oh, my God. So I call the front desk, and I'm like, can you please send someone back up? They said they were going to be here.
Starting point is 00:18:18 They weren't here at 10. I left at like 10.50 to go get lunch, came back, and they stopped by then. They could have just walked in. They're like, oh, they had permission to enter? I'm like, yeah, they had permission. Okay, please send them over. I'm like, okay, we'll find the team. You can either be on hold or we can call you back in five minutes.
Starting point is 00:18:37 I'm like, just call me back. Now it's noon, and I'm waiting. I'm like, all right, I got to get this video out. I promised it would be out today. It's already noon. 12, 12.05, 12.15, 12.45 they finally call back. Well, he's on site doing another thing, but he'll be there later today. And I'm like, okay, I can't stay around my apartment today.
Starting point is 00:19:04 I need to go. I give you permission to enter. I know you all have the keys. I give you permission to enter. Please fix my fridge or give me a new one. And they're like, all right, we'll get right on that, sir. I'm like, thank you so much. I'll talk to you later.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Hang up. I haven't been home. I don't know what I'm going to come to when I get home. It may be a thing for next week, but I'm already super frustrated by the whole damn thing. And I can't believe when one thing breaks and is fixed, another thing automatically breaks. This is the story of my life. It is consistently the story of my life. Nothing can ever be just fine.
Starting point is 00:19:38 That's me with my health issues. Gallbladder's gone, and the stomach fires up stomach's fine ibs goes ibs is fine tooth acts up tooth act then the neck goes neck freaks out right it's just non-stop oh man this is why look if you're a kid out there if you're like in the back seat of your parents car and for some reason they're letting you listen to this i want you to know stay a child forever do not grow up. Don't grow up. It does not get any.
Starting point is 00:20:07 You think like, I can't wait to be older. No. It's only downhill from there, my friends. You got responsibilities and problems every damn day. No, you got to get out of here. Get out of here. I want to shake you. Like, stay a kid forever.
Starting point is 00:20:22 There's going to be some kid that invents like a stay young machine i would be your guinea pig sign me up um well did they show up i have no clue i had to come into the office and and get the video out oh yeah i was like so i'm gonna go home and we'll find out we'll find out they did anything i was when i was on stream uh some guy was like, oh, did you check the breakers? And I was like, oh, my. I totally forgot. I didn't even think about that as a possibility.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I might have been able to fix it myself and salvage some of whatever was in there. But, yeah, I had cheese in there. I've never seen cheese. You know when it's sliced And then the outside Becomes like rock hard Right I've never seen cheese Turn into that so quickly
Starting point is 00:21:10 So I was like Cool Alright well So I lost a bunch of food I had some Like I like to make smoothies From time to time Like healthy smoothies
Starting point is 00:21:21 So I had some like Stuff in the freezer That was frozen vegetables And frozen fruit That's all not frozen anymore It's like cool Yeah that's where I'm at But what are you going to do
Starting point is 00:21:36 Alright well What is the strangest I don't even This is stranger than the lady at the drive through Oh way stranger This is stranger than the lady at the drive-thru Oh way stranger This is amazing So The other day I come out to my car
Starting point is 00:21:51 At the office And I see a guy Like Stumbling He looked like he was 70 years old maybe Stumbling Down the street And I'm looking at him Trying to figure out Does he need help was, I don't know, 70 years old maybe, stumbling down the street.
Starting point is 00:22:09 And I'm looking at him, trying to figure out, does he need help? Is he drunk? Because there's a bar nearby. I'm like, who is this guy? What's going on with him? He walks up, and to specify this, it's a Camry. I know some people might be like, Jesse, it's a Camry. He walks up to a Camry Clicks his little beeper thing Does not pop
Starting point is 00:22:30 The trunk but instead pops the hood The front of the car Pops it open He peers in Starts rummaging around I don't know how much rummaging you can do But he's rummaging around looking for something He pulls out a full bottle of vodka.
Starting point is 00:22:48 I, Grendor, I don't know why there was a vodka next to this dude's engine. I don't know where he put it. I don't know why he put it there. He pulled it out, opened it up, started drinking it and walking away.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I have no I have no answers for you. I don't know if he like why he was there. I don't know if he put it there on purpose. I don't know if he just like I don't even know if that was his car or if he was told
Starting point is 00:23:22 to go there. Dude, I don't know anything. I just know that man went to if that was his car or if he was told to go there. Dude, I don't know anything. I just know that man went to the hood of his car, popped the hood, pulled out a bottle of vodka. Like a full unopened bottle of vodka. What the shit? That's what I'm saying. That's why it's strangest. I have no answers for you.
Starting point is 00:23:44 I looked at him and I thought I was watching The Matrix, like, collapse. I was like wait what? None of it made sense And he took a swing and like waddle drunkenly back the other direction the only thing I was thinking is like maybe He didn't want to get caught with like a bottle of vodka when he's driving, but like it's unopened so like bottle of vodka when he's driving, but, like, it's unopened. So, like, that doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:24:08 And, like, if this was, I know there's some sports cars where the engine's in the back, right? So, like, that's why I want to specify it was a Camry. It wasn't like a sport, like, the trunk isn't in the front. It was straight up just, the dude was in the engine, pulled out a bottle of, not one of those tiny baby bottles, like a
Starting point is 00:24:24 full bottle of, not one of those tiny baby bottles, like a full bottle of vodka. Huh. Maybe doing something with the engine really powers it up. I don't know. Well, it wasn't on. It was just, he walked over to the car, opened it up, and then lifted the hood,
Starting point is 00:24:42 rummaged in there, so it was clearly under some shit. I have no... And then pulled out a bottle of vodka. He's got to be, like, hiding it or something, right? I would assume. Why else would you put it there? It just doesn't...
Starting point is 00:24:56 Like, maybe it's, like, sad and he shouldn't be drinking, and so he hides his drinking. But he was visibly drunk. So I don't know if he's hiding it all that well. That is... Huh. Yeah, that's... And where's he going?
Starting point is 00:25:19 Does he think he's just going back to his apartment or whatever? I mean, the car was parked on the street There's a bar nearby I assumed he was coming From the bar which is why he was looking a little sloshed But that may not Be true because he's walking away with the vodka And I know they're not going to let him in a bar with that So
Starting point is 00:25:36 No clue Couldn't even begin to tell you again just Completely Completely strange In the craziest way once again los angeles california baby man that is that's the trifecta you got going there yeah there was another story i already forgot it though it was i was like driving And something happened where it was just crazy You know crazy people at the intersection again
Starting point is 00:26:08 But I can't remember exactly what happened Because it was on Monday of last week I was like damn I gotta remember this for Crandor Totally forgot because three other Totally strange things happened Well You know what What if
Starting point is 00:26:23 What if that guy with the vodka Was just the guy going to repair your refrigerator? That would explain so much about my apartment complex. Do this shit again. Like a fifth one this week. They're never home. Oh, my God. So my washer and dryer broke Right My dryer wasn't making anything hot anymore
Starting point is 00:26:48 My washer was straight up like Ripping clothes And so I told them I needed a washer and dryer And they admittedly got me a brand new Amazing washer and dryer very good But it didn't fit in the alcove Where the washer and dryer I previously had was So they I guess hired some dudes to come in
Starting point is 00:27:05 And thin the edges of the wall so they Could fit it in right and When they did that the floor Boards they just didn't Like fix it so it's like Clear you can clearly see where The wall used to be right and I'm Like is anyone gonna come fix this and they're like
Starting point is 00:27:22 Yeah yeah we'll send someone it has been a year Crandor and I keep bugging them and they're like Oh no we just need to order that we just need to order the The wood stuff for the ground I'm like, is anyone going to come fix this? And they're like, yeah, yeah, we'll send someone. It has been a year, Crandor. And I keep bugging them. And they're like, oh, no, we just need to order the wood stuff for the ground. I'm like, okay, you're not going to do this, are you? Yeah, they're not doing it. So that's what I deal with. Is this guy still here? I thought he'd move out.
Starting point is 00:27:38 That's what I'm telling you, man. But the problem is, of all the places in L.A., it is the best and cheapest. Right. Like, you know, for the cost and what it is, it's way better than anything else in this area for sure. Yeah. So I'm not moving, but I'm also just like, okay, fine. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:27:58 It's not that big a deal. When you close the little, like, doors, the little, like, slotted doors that cover up the washer-dryer, it looks fine. But when you open those things up, literally, next time you're over, literally the floor is different. Like, it is a different, you open that, and it's like a different, it's like a, it's insane. Whenever they put the current flooring over, that's what it is underneath. So it's like, it's so dumb. And they just didn't even try to hide it or fix it. They just wheeled in these things and left.
Starting point is 00:28:33 And I'm still like, okay, well, thanks for caring, I guess. Wowee. Yeah, what a week. What a week. Let me tell you. What a week. That's, oh, yeah, the game awards happened. I, what a week. What a week. Let me tell you. What a week. Oh, yeah, the Game Awards happened. I watched some of those.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Yeah, I watched all of it. I was a partnered streamer. That was crazy. I don't know how that happened. That is crazy. I didn't even stream it because everybody else was streaming it, and I was just like, I don't give a shit. So I just watched on Gmart's stream,
Starting point is 00:29:02 and pretty much I only watch the game awards for the announcements of game sure i mean that's everything else is is awkward yeah it's super awkward just al pacino coming out being like hey i i don't know what a video game is but you know like i got i can't read the teleprompter i love that he was like i i can't read the teleprompter. I love that he was like, I can't read the teleprompter. I was like, that's the most Pacino thing I've ever seen. He's like, I don't even care that I'm here. But my kids and my grandkids, they know about this gaming. So here I am.
Starting point is 00:29:37 I thought that was very sweet, that it's pretty obvious he doesn't care, but his grandkids do, and so that's why he did it. And I was like, that's sweet. It's awkward because they clearly gave him the smallest teleprompter in the world, but still. And then the God of War guy giving like a 15-minute speech. I got up at one point. I was like, I'm going to go pee and make a coffee. And I came back, and he was still going.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Still going? I was like, is this going to be the entire show or something? It was. I felt they should have said something but the messed up thing is they just kept letting him go and then the rest of the night everyone shit talked him. I was like,
Starting point is 00:30:17 no one told the man not to do that. Yeah. He was just speaking his mind and having an emotional moment and then the rest of the night, they're like, well, we have to hurry up because Chris Judge was talking too long. And it's like, that's on you, not him. Yeah, they should have came out and been like, all right, all right, all right. Like, you know, indicating him to stop.
Starting point is 00:30:37 But they did not. So, you know, and overall, like, yeah, the actual awards, who cares, right? Like, I mean, it could be like the Crenn Awards or something. It's the same tier. Yeah. But the trailers, fire. There's so many good things. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Those were pretty solid. Yeah. I was like, ooh, this is going to be a good year. So 2023, the year Jesse continues to just play video games, it's going to be a good one. Wow. Yeah, good one. Wow. Yeah, I know. Crazy. I didn't see that one coming.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Yeah, I didn't see it. I twisted it. No one expected that. But you know what else no one expects? Promotional advertisements in a podcast? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should expect to have, oh boy, here we go.
Starting point is 00:31:33 You should expect, Segway Master incoming. You should expect to have a well taken care of butt after this week. Because today, Tushy is sponsoring this podcast. That's right. Hello, Tushy is here to take care of that butt. We're in that time of year where everyone's being thankful for things and we're all taking care of each other. Well, take care of your butt and be thankful that Hello Tushy's out there. It's the gift that over a million shiny bums have used. Man, let's say your family's bringing, I don't know, IBS home for the holidays, right?
Starting point is 00:32:08 Well, fitting your toilets with a Hello Tushy bidet will make sure that no one has to sit down at the dinner table with that dirty butthole. You know what I'm saying? When you're wiping your butt, just think about it. If a bird poops on your arm and you wipe it with paper, that's not good enough. You know that's not good enough, right? So why is your butt, why is it any different? That's all I'm saying. Hello Tushy Bidets are a hands-free wash-your-butt experience for two times cleaner than toilet
Starting point is 00:32:40 paper alone. Installing it is so simple, it does not take any time at all, maybe max 10 minutes if you're slow like me. Plus, this holiday season, you can get a two-pack and save $90, which, let's be honest, is going to save you even more money on toilet paper per year. Just think about that. I know that everyone who has used HelloTushy, when I see the comments, I see you messaging us. You'll love it. And you should love it because you can't go back. I was about to say it changes the way you poo, but it changes everything. You can't go back. It's just a fact. So right now, if you want to get the best deal to keep that butt clean, Keep that butt clean.
Starting point is 00:33:27 All you got to do right now is go to hellotushy.com slash Cox, and you can get your Hello Tushy bidet attachment with a 60-day risk-free guarantee, 12-month warranty. It's going to change the way you go to the bathroom. Save up to $30 when you go to hellotushy.com slash Cox, and give the gift that keeps on cleaning. That's hellotushy.com slash Cox and give the gift that keeps on cleaning, that's hellotushy.com slash Cox. Also today we're brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies that I have on me again.
Starting point is 00:33:54 I cannot stress this enough. Every single time we talk about MeUndies, we say that we're wearing them, we're loving them, and I don't know if you believe us or not, but every time someone out there buys me undies, even our good friend Davis, every time they're like, dude, you were right. You were so right. Oh my God. It feels like I'm wearing nothing. And that's a good feeling.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Me undies are your go-to spot for snuggly, soft undies, and more gifts for your loved ones. Get married with a matching set of undies or like a, you know, sweats or any kind of thing like that. There's so many things to choose from. Wear something together with your family or your loved ones. That's right. I said what I said. The holiday spirit is here, and MeUndies has got you.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Try MeUndies right now and get 20% off your first purchase, plus free standard shipping, free returns. All you got to do is go to MeUndies.com slash Crendor. That's me. They come in sizes extra small, 4XL. They're made with that micro-modal, whatever it is, still not sure. And they have all sorts of things, not 4XL. They're made with that micro-modal, whatever it is, still not sure. And they have all sorts of things, not just undies.
Starting point is 00:35:07 They got sweater prints and sweats and loungewear and socks and shirts and bras and bralettes, the whole thing. There's so much there. Make your holiday shopping simple with MeUndies. To get 20% off your first order, free shipping, 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to MeUndies.com slash Crendor. That's satisfaction guarantee, go to meundies.com slash Crendor.
Starting point is 00:35:26 That's me. That's meundies.com slash Crendor. All right, Crendor, let's go to traffic. Let's go to the sky. The Crendor House at traffic. Oh, boy. Traffic, yet again, only gets crazier as we get closer to Christmas. getting wacky wild cars, trains, planes, automobiles, surfboards, skateboards,
Starting point is 00:35:51 ice skaters, rollerbladers, you name it. They're out there. Watch out. Back to you. Thanks, Crandonauts. Go to Crandonauts. The weather. How's that weather?
Starting point is 00:35:59 I forgot what we were doing. I had a momentary like, hold on, where are we? How's the weather? I got to get my vodka. Weather request. Our top weather request for the week. Churchill, Canada. Why do I know?
Starting point is 00:36:19 I actually know Churchill, Canada. Why do I know that? I don't know. A northern town that lies right on the migration path of polar bears, which just so happens to coincide with Halloween. Sending their kids out for a retreat while there are hungry polar bears roaming through the area seems like it would be a bad combo, but they won't let that stop them. That's why I know this, because I watched a documentary about the Hudson Bay.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Oh, yeah, it's in Manitoba. Okay, yeah, all right. Let's see. Churchill, Canada. We don't have an old fort, Fort Churchill. Currently in Churchill, Canada. It is five degrees Fahrenheit. Wowee.
Starting point is 00:37:05 It's a feeling like negative 2. Humidity of 83%. Pressure 30.48 inches. Visibility 10 miles. Winds 3 mile an hour. Dew point 1. UV index 0 of 10. Moon phase waning gibbous.
Starting point is 00:37:21 You got a sunrise of 8.58 a.m. Sunset of 3.21 p.mm wowee uh looking at the 10 day uh we have monday at 21 degrees and cloudy tuesday 22 degrees fahrenheit mostly cloudy wednesday 18 mostly cloudy thursday 16 cloudy friday 9 degrees light snow and Saturday 0 degrees with snow and Sunday negative 1 with snow and Monday negative 9 with snow I went I went to look at the town and uh town is a relative term the street view on google imagine the flattest I don't want to say deadest looking place but it looks like what you would imagine a tundra to look like.
Starting point is 00:38:11 It is barren. Except there was one big building in the distance so I was like, okay I'm going to go check out the big building. What is this? Pulled up to it on the street view, polar bear holding facility. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:38:25 That's the biggest thing around here. Everything else, I see absolutely nothing. There's a few buildings, but I feel like those are state owned. I don't know, man. There's not a lot. That's crazy. That is. I see the Miss Piggy plane wreck.
Starting point is 00:38:44 I don't know if you see that one. It is. This place is so empty and barren that on most of the images of Street View, the only thing that looks like there's life is the reflection and shadow of the car taking the camera shots. However,
Starting point is 00:39:06 there is the Berry Good vending machine at the airport. Berry Good. That's it? We also have Monk's Cafe, the Lazy Besser Cafe,
Starting point is 00:39:22 and the Dancing Bear Restaurant and Churchill Hotel. That seems to be the big place popping off here. Churchill, Canada. Things to do. There's the Churchill Hotel. There are, in fact, polar bears just roaming
Starting point is 00:39:38 around. Yeah, wow. This place also just looks like someone's house. The Churchill Northern Studies Center. The Parks Canada Visitor Center, which looks like an old train caboose thing. Dog sledding. Prince of Wales Fort, which is the Miss Piggy plane wreck.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Yep, there it is. That's number six of things to do Is go visit a plane wreck National Park National Park Here Be Bears Which I would guess is a shop Northern Frontier Adventures
Starting point is 00:40:18 This is like Some off the map stuff Yeah this is Great white bear tours Some off the map stuff. Yeah, this is great. Bear tours. Oh, my God. This is number 13 through number 19 are all bear related. I mean, as they should be, of course.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Well, yeah, I'm more interested in the Arctic Trading Company. What is this? Arctic Trading Company? Like, imagine a store where everything is wood. And in it is also polar bear merch. Wow. That is, there's a photo of it at night. I couldn't live there.
Starting point is 00:41:04 That's scary That's too dark The Tundra Pub Tundra Pub? Oh yeah, this is the spot Let me link this to you The Tundra Pub This appears
Starting point is 00:41:18 To be the spot Looks like small, but like That burger looks fire They got fish tacos Oh my god The food looks like small but like that burger looks fire they got fish tacos oh my god the food looks like pretty refined to be served with uh what is this beer kokani glacier glacier frozen beer oh i guess there is kokani glacier park their Their mascot on their webpage is Crendor That's like Bigfoot Oh yeah Bigfoot is 100% involved
Starting point is 00:41:52 In promotion of this In order to see the website I had to enter what province I was from which is Not Adelaide I lied They're like are you Canadian If you want to see our beer You gotta be Canadian I lied. They're like, are you Canadian? And you're like, yes. If you want to see our beer, you really got to be Canadian.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Or it's like you enter a different province, and they're just like, no, sorry, we hate that place. I'm trying to figure out if this is like a good beer or if it's kind of like, you know, Milwaukee's best. You know what I mean? I think it's a Milwaukee's best. If I had to take a wild guess, that's what I would go with. Yeah. Canadians out there, on a scale of, I don't know, Molson and Labatt, where does this fit in?
Starting point is 00:42:37 Where does this fit in? Let me know. Yeah, we'll see. Will we? I hope so. That's the weather. All right. Let's go to sports.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Sports. Taking a look at the sports desk. Here we go now at the sports desk. Everyone else is at the sports desk. Sports. So here at sports, Lions beating the Vikings today. The Rams beat the Raiders on Thursday. Ravens beat the Steelers.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Bengals beat the Browns. The Bills beat the Jets. Cowboys beat the Texans. Eagles crushed the Giants. Jaguars beat the Titans. Chiefs beat the Broncos. Panthers beat the Texans, Eagles crushed the Giants, Jaguars beat the Titans, Chiefs beat the Broncos, Panthers beat the Seahawks, 49ers crushed the Buccaneers, and currently the Chargers are beating the Dolphins 3-0. Then, over in basketball, we take a look at some standings.
Starting point is 00:43:36 We got the Celtics up at the top, we got the Bucs, Cavs, Nets, 76ers, Pacers, Hawks, and Knicks in the top 8. In the West, you got the Pelicans, the Grizzlies, Nuggets, Suns, Kings, Trailblazers, Clippers, Warriors. And that's the top eight over there. But again, we're not even halfway through the season. Over in hockey. You got the Bruins up there at the top with the Maple Leafs right behind them you got the Devils at the top with the Hurricanes behind them
Starting point is 00:44:09 you got the Jets at the top tied with the Stars actually and then the Golden Knights at the top and they're pretty much up there alone cracking Kings right behind them but not too close and there's other sport going on oh yeah the World Cup hold on let's check in on the World Cup yeah that's a other sport going on. Oh, yeah, the World Cup.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Hold on, let's check in on the World Cup. Yeah, that's a thing still going on. Let's see. Currently, it is down to Argentina against Croatia and France versus Morocco. So, down to the final four. We'll see how that plays out.
Starting point is 00:44:53 That's sports. We will see. All right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. I'm doing songs for every segment. I noticed. I'm doing songs for every segment. I noticed. I'm aware.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Sometimes they're bangers and sometimes they're just like medieval marches. I actually got two. One was from last week. I kept it open. That I found was pretty interesting. So the people started wearing pajamas, originally spelled P-Y-J-A-M-A-S.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Pyjamas. Pyjamas. I love a good pyjama. They started wearing them originally instead of nightgowns so they'd be prepared to run outside in public during world war one air raids in england is that true i may say it's true what is the thing that like you know cowboys would wear or it's like they had the butt flap i think those are the butt flaps right but, but isn't that a... That's before World War I. Well, that's not pajamas, though.
Starting point is 00:46:11 I guess you're right. I guess a pajama needs a top and a bottom, not a onesie. You're right. You're all right. I'll allow it. And then, this one's pretty crazy. Freelancers, originally referred to self-employed sword-wielding mercenaries. Literally, Freelancers.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that one's pretty cool. I never even thought of that. But it makes sense, obviously. Yeah, I like that. See, that's a fact. This whole pyjama thing, I don't know if I'd trust that. Pyjamas.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Pyjamas? That sounds so un if I trust that. Pajamas. Pajamas? That sounds so un-British. Pajama. Well, they probably just were like, pajama, pajama. Pajamas. Pajama. Send your angry letters,
Starting point is 00:47:01 Karev Krendor. But, that's your facts of the day. All right. What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. We actually got two of them because they're kind of shorter. One is a Florida man stole $1,375 worth of toothbrushes and threw them off a bridge. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:31 So the start of this story, you said he stole $1,000. I'm like, all right, so he stole some money. And then you said toothbrushes. And I was like, okay, that's weird. And then he said, and then threw them off a bridge. And that took me on a roller coaster of I don't know what any of that means. Boo! Where do you get those toothbrushes?
Starting point is 00:47:50 Like, did he go to the toothbrush factory? Where do you get a thousand toothbrushes? Let's find out. Tracy J. Mofield of Islamorada is charged with larceny. 37 years old. According to the Monroe County police squad,
Starting point is 00:48:10 he stole $1,375 worth of Wait. Oh, six electric toothbrushes worth $1,375 from a Walgreens. Oh, okay. Alright. I was about to say, normal-ass toothbrush?
Starting point is 00:48:26 That's like a buck. So what is he doing? Electric toothbrushes? Okay. Yeah, electric toothbrushes. Although, they'd be raising the prices of normal-ass toothbrushes, too. It's just plastic and little bristle things. They're charging like $5, $6.
Starting point is 00:48:39 Nah. That's why you need to get on that quip train. You got to get on that quip train. Deputies say witnesses saw Moffield leave the store with the items without paying they added he was in a white lexus deputies located the lexus but mofield sped away the vehicle is spotted again where deputies took mofield into custody sheriff's office says he admitted to stealing the items and throwing them off the long key bridge oh yeah why'd he throw them off the bridge? Was he like, oh, he's gonna get caught? Maybe that's why he did it?
Starting point is 00:49:08 Yeah, but also, why do you need that many toothbrushes to begin with? Yeah, I don't know. Why is he stealing six of them? I guess maybe he's gonna resell them? I didn't know that the aftermarket toothbrush industry was big. I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:49:25 What did you buy on the black market? had no idea. What did you buy on the black market? I bought drugs. What did you buy? Oh, an electric toothbrush. Damn, those are hard to get. People be stealing those like crazy. I thought my heroin was hard to get, but electric toothbrush? Forget about it. People just
Starting point is 00:49:40 throwing them off bridges. Meanwhile, just some guy sitting under a bridge just like, whoa, I like your toothbrush. I wonder, yeah, do they recover the toothbrushes or was that part of the plan? Like you threw them under the bridge and then it was like a, you know, Mission Impossible movie
Starting point is 00:49:57 where there's a boat down there where there were guys waiting for the toothbrushes. Yeah. So that happened. Then we have prison time for Miami fortune teller who took $3 million from woman to lift family curse. Yep, well, curse lifted? Did she see this coming? How did I know that that was gonna be the start of this article always is a federal judge sentenced a so-called psychic and fortune teller from miami who
Starting point is 00:50:34 prosecutors say swindled more than three million out of a woman by claiming she needed the money to break a family curse 51 year old samantha stevens was sentenced to spend 30 months in prison on fraud and money laundering charges According to prosecutors, Stevens met the victim in 2012, gained her trust, convinced that a curse had been placed on her family Stevens claimed she needed to perform rituals on large sums of money in order to lift the curse Wait, what do you mean? Perform rituals on large sums of money? Yep That's what it says What? Perform rituals on large sums of money? Yep.
Starting point is 00:51:06 So it says... What? I don't even know what that means. Like, you bring the money and then she's like, Avada Kedavra, and then the curse is lifted? How does this work? I guess. I don't know. According to prosecutors...
Starting point is 00:51:19 Oh, wait. It says the victim was led to believe that if she didn't hand over the money, she and her family would be harmed. Stevens, along 42 year old michael paul guzman with whom she was in a relationship spent the victim's money on vehicles property and casino gambling they said the two took the woman's money over a four-year period ending in 2016 after the victim could no longer pay for the rituals that led the victim to contact federal law enforcement. Guzman was sentenced to spend 38 months in prison. The two will have to pay nearly $3.2 million in restitution.
Starting point is 00:51:54 They never said, oh, man, we got enough. Now we can say that we've cured the curse or whatever. They kept going until she was like, I have no more money. And then they were like, fine, and left. And that's why she called. I would have been like, oh, we don't need to pay us, we'll do it for free. Oh, and now you're cured! Oh, that's crazy! They didn't even think to do that?
Starting point is 00:52:12 Oh my god. Yeah. That is... And then the fact that, like, you know what I gotta do to lift this curse, obviously, is I need large sums of money. I feel like after the million dollar mark, I would have been like,
Starting point is 00:52:26 you know, I don't think this is working. Three million? That's mind-blowing. That is... That is wild. Like, my God. Yeah, you would think I wouldn't even... If it was like a hundred bucks,
Starting point is 00:52:40 I'd be like, nah, I'm good. I'll take the curse. Maybe if I really thought my family was cursed, 100 would be fine. And 200. But once you start to get to the 1,000 range, I'd be like, what are you actually doing to stop this curse? Yeah. Yeah, what is she doing? Is she just...
Starting point is 00:53:00 When did this happen? This happened in 2012? So this has been happening for a long-ass time. Yeah, they said they did it over years. Yeah, so she must have been like... It's got to be like a manipulation thing, right? I mean, certainly. But it's also crazy to me that you would...
Starting point is 00:53:19 Basically, you are cursed. Because you allow people to do... You're like, I'm cursed! And then you allow people to take $3 million from you Curse continues if anything Proof of the curse Yeah You brought a curse upon yourself You probably had no curse to begin with
Starting point is 00:53:36 And you self fulfilled your own prophecy Yeah this is a self fulfilling Prophecy curse Yeah that was it She got got by her own self She got got She got got Those are
Starting point is 00:53:53 Your news stories of the day Alright well that's it for us Thanks so much for listening and watching I hope you enjoyed this podcast Crendor hit it with the socials We've got socials youtube.com Flashcocks and Crendor, hit up the socials. We've got socials, youtube.com slash coxincrendorpodcast, all one word. That is the place you'll find
Starting point is 00:54:11 these podcasts. Subscribe, hit the comment, like, bell things, hit all the stuff. Comment, leave your weather requests, leave your things about Canadian beer. Let us know. Also, you can go to
Starting point is 00:54:24 youtube.com slash coxincrendor without the podcast part at the end. Let us know. Also, you can go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor without the podcast part at the end. Brand new episode. Brand new episode over there. Do the same thing over there. Give it a like, comment, subscribe. Hit the bell, be notified when those go up. Also, we're on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud. We're all over.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Except for the places we are not. Also, find us on our own things. We're on youtube.com slash JesseCox. YouTube.com slash Crendor. Patreon JesseCox. Patreon Crendor. Twitch JesseCox. Twitch Crendor.
Starting point is 00:54:51 Twitter JesseCox. Twitter Crendor. TikTok JesseCox. TikTok. TikTok Crendor. Instagram NotoriousCox. Instagram Crendor was taken. Warhammer Crendor.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Cox Clips. Crenclips on the YouTube. We do too much, y'all. We do too much.'all we do too much that's it alright that's it for us we'll see you next time
Starting point is 00:55:10 and as always oh don't make it that you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.