Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 399 - Bubble Man Returns
Episode Date: September 12, 2023The boys are back and this time Jesse almost gets into it with a guy in a parking lot, Crendor hurts himself AGAIN, and somehow a man in a bubble makes a 4th attempt to cross the ocean. All this and b...ig ol' bog race, on a brand new Cox n' Crendor. Go to http://hellofresh.com/50cox and use code 50cox for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months.
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Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
This is Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.
In 4-hour recording studio.
Recorded. Broadcasting live, live, live, live. In 4-Hour Recording Studios. Recording.
Wake your ass up.
It's the next Crendor in the morning.
Hello there, everyone.
It's the next Crendor in the morning. Whoa, what the what?
Hello.
Hi.
Welcome to an exciting episode of Cox and Crendor in the morning.
Yeah.
I love it.
at Cox and Crandor in the morning.
Yeah.
I love it.
I was like, there's a hype there,
and I got a little too ahead of my brain,
was talking faster than my mouth.
You tripped over your words.
Tripped over my words there.
It's hard to do.
You do this for exactly 399 episodes and not 400, even though we definitely called the live show the 399th episode yeah we did
but yeah we're not here for math yeah not us not us in fact it's been uh it's been a while since
we did a actual like normal show yeah well you know we're back. No live shows for us. Only normal shows now.
So tough.
Yeah, back to normalcy.
We had a good time because you were here the one weekend,
then we did the live show,
and then the next weekend you put up the live show.
Yeah, live show was a good time.
Live show was a blast.
Thanks, everyone who came out.
We sold out, full crowd. There were people standing in the back. I wouldn't have stood for us, but I'm glad you did. It made me feel good. Good time had by all, hopefully.
Yeah, I wouldn't stand for us either. Barely even sitting.
I just won't stand for it.
Yeah, it's great.
And now you're back.
How's being back been?
It's L.A., so being back has been a real treat.
L.A. is slowly becoming – I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what's going on with this city,
but I think people are just getting fed up with either the expense of living here or just living in general.
I don't know what's going on, but the other day I saw a dude, like, this is a great story.
I saw a dude on the side of the road.
So not near me, but on the way to where I live is a, like a propane seller, like some
sort of dude who sells propane.
I don't know if it's a full propane business,
but it's definitely a business that sells a bunch of
propane because it's always outside. And
propane accessories. And accessories,
yeah. And outside, as I'm
driving by, there's like a red light
there, and a dude
is in sweatpants, no
shirt, beer belly, smoking
a cigarette in front of the
propane store, dude.
And the entire time I was like, that man is just done.
That guy is like, if I blow up, I blow up.
Like, I've never seen anything.
He looked like he was from King of the Hill.
Dude had little tiny glasses that kind of almost look like Harry Potter glasses, a buzz
cut, big beer belly, and then dark, I don't know,
like navy blue sweatpants and flip flops.
He's just sitting there smoking a cigarette.
And I was like, yo, that feels like this city right now.
That's the best way I can describe L.A. at the moment.
Everyone's kind of just like, whatever, man.
Summer's over.
We all got to go back to work and shit.
It feels like that.
Plus, I feel like after summer, apparently we're getting the big El Nino or something.
It's supposed to be colder in LA and warmer over here.
Yeah, that probably checks out.
You know what?
I'm all right for an El Nino.
Every time we have an El Nino, it gets a little colder, but also rains more.
And LA could use that, even though we had a hurricane or whatever the hell we
had that was not a hurricane at all.
That was like half a day of showers.
But yeah, I think we could use it, especially considering we have so many
years of drought.
I'll take it.
I'll take one year of that.
El Nino is fun mixing it up apparently
here it's uh we're supposed to get warmer weather but we also have chances of like big blizzards or
something so it's the trade-off that's chicago i mean like that's chicago though dude yeah i mean
we get snow storms anyway but they're like it could be a big one i'm like whatever well i think
that's the point of an el nino right yeah? Yeah. It's like everything's a bit bigger.
Everything's a bit crazier.
Well, I don't know about that.
I think it's just...
I think that's what it is.
It's like El Nino is like bigger weather events and La Nina is like, you know, it's like a little dainty weather event, I think is the point.
Now, I could be wrong.
I'm not looking this up and I don't intend to look it up.
But I feel like that's what I remember.
Well, I've looked it up but i feel like that's what i remember well i've looked it up so
during el nino trade winds weaken warm water is pushed back east towards the west coast of the
americas el nino means little boy in spanish south american fishermen first notice periods
of unusually warm water in the pacific ocean in the 1600s The full name they used was El Nino de Navidad
because El Nino typically peaks around December.
El Nino can affect our weather significantly.
Warmer waters cause Pacific jet streams to move south of its neutral position,
which, with this shift, areas in the northern U.S. and Canada
are drier and warmer than usual,
but in the U.S. Gulf Coast and Southeast,
these are periods of wetter than usual weather,
weather, wetter, wetter than usual weather.
Weather?
Wetter?
Wetter?
And have increased flooding.
Yeah.
So apparently here in Chicago, we're like borderline on warm and dry.
And then you're down where it's like the whole South is just like wet.
Yeah.
Down where it's wetter.
Yeah, exactly.
And then people way up north, like in Canada, they just get colder.
So sorry, Canada.
It's going to be even colder.
Damn.
I mean, like, I feel bad.
Cold Canada is never a good thing.
Ever.
Man, it's usually cold in Canada, though.
Yeah, but they got that, like, three months in the summer where it's beautiful.
That's true.
That's what it's like here as well. You get, like, some nice summer weather and then the winter here.
Honestly, I like fall.
People always are like, oh, the summer's here. But, like get some nice summer weather and then the winter hits. Honestly, I like fall. People always are like,
the summer's here, but I love fall weather.
Right now, it's like 70s, 60s.
You get some rain. I mean, that's LA all the time. Right now,
70 degrees and sunny, baby.
Exactly 70. It's a good time.
That's what I love. I love that.
Half the week sun, half the week rain.
70, 60s. Actually,
I got like 60s more than 70s, to be honest.
70s get a little too warm.
If you give me a month of just every day is the 70s, exactly 70 degrees.
Sunny.
Man, that'd be the perfect place.
Some of you will be like, that place does exist, Jesse.
And if it does, I want to live there.
If I'm told it's Hawaii, I'm going to be so upset because, like, I do love Hawaii.
But whatever.
Yeah.
Have you had any crazy people stories outside of Hank Hill?
There's this weird thing at grocery stores now, and I don't know what it is.
And I feel like this might be TikTok's problem or fault.
So have you seen the dude on TikTok who, like who shames people for not putting away their carts?
I have not, but I can imagine.
He dresses up as a
security guard or a
cart monitor, and he walks around parking
lots, and when people don't return
their cart, he sticks a sticker on their car
for them not returning the cart.
That's actually pretty great.
And they get super pissed because it's like a
sticker, and they throw them at him, and then he'll stick another sticker on the car and try to run away from them. And they get super pissed Because it's like a magnet sticker And they throw them at them And then he'll just stick another sticker on the car
And try to run away from them
And they get like really upset
Anyway
I don't know if that is the reason why
But dudes at the grocery store
Are trying to get slick now
And you know the grocery store that I go to
That parking lot right
Right
People now
Will instead of taking their
It's not that big
By the way it's not that big of a parking lot
It takes all of 10 seconds to return your cart.
Yeah.
People will now, instead of returning it or taking it to one of the many cart drop-off spots,
they'll like hide them, like up in the bushes area, or they'll pick big cars, like trucks,
and put them in between where the two trucks are so people don't see them.
I don't know what's going on.
But it is absolutely chaotic what they're doing with these carts.
And so I was at the grocery store the other day.
A dude in his big pickup truck parks next to me.
And I see him get out.
And, you know, I get out.
We go inside.
We're shopping, doing our thing.
I come out with my cart.
Well, actually, no, I didn't come out with the cart.
I got to the edge of where the carts are at the entrance of the store, took my three
bags of groceries and just walked to my car with the three bags instead of the whole cart,
right?
Right.
Dropped the cart off.
I was good.
I was easy.
It was done.
This dude who's parked next to me, he took his cart and then put it in between where my car was facing another car.
And my car was in between his truck and then another truck.
So he put it in between where it wouldn't be seen from the store.
But literally crammed it right in between where my car was and the car that I was parked across from was.
And gets in his car as I'm watching him do it.
And I look at him and he looks at me with this like disgust of like,
shouldn't have parked there.
I don't know what kind of look he was giving me,
but I looked at him like, I can't believe you're that lazy, dude.
And he looked at me like he was ready to throw down.
Oh my God. so i just got
his cart and decided to walk it back for him and here's the thing this dude was a pretty fit i'm
gonna say mid-20s guy he did not break eye contact with me he kept staring me down as i was doing
this and i was just staring him down the entire time.
Like, look how easy this is.
Look at this.
Look how easy this is.
So I drop off the cart.
The man has decided not to keep driving away.
He's parked now
right kind of catacorner
to where you dropped the carts off,
staring me down.
Like somehow we're going to break out
into a fight.
And I'm just like,
I want to just be like,
you are so lazy. You're the laziest man I've ever seen in into a fight. And I'm just like, I want to just be like, you are so lazy.
You're the laziest man I've ever seen in my entire life.
And as this dude is staring me down, cop on the other side, like over the loudspeaker is like, sir, please move, sir.
The guy looks at me and I don't know if he was trying to like be coy or coy or whatever, but he does, like, a wave, but, like, a goofy wave.
Like, one of those waves of, like, I think I'm being cool by waving, like, bye, but it looked goofy.
I don't know what it was.
And I was like, okay, cool.
And then I just walked to my car and drove home.
Like, what a weird experience.
I don't – the problem is that was the end of me dealing with that for months.
People just will, like, leave their carts in the middle of the damn, like, parking lot.
You have to push them out of the way because it's the middle of traffic.
I don't know what's going on, but it tells me a lot about a person if you can't return their cart.
It's so easy.
Yeah, I think we talked about this like months ago,
but like just take the card back.
It's not even that hard.
No, it takes seconds.
Just do it.
Yeah, like come on.
And then people go out of their way to like avoid doing the easiest things,
but they put more work into doing the thing the to
avoid doing the easy thing like it's insane that that guy literally stared me down he could have
just taken the car back and been on with his life instead he like stopped was like you want to fight
about it we're trying to fight over a cart dude no i'm not gonna fight you i'm gonna look at you
because you're acting insane right now. Yeah.
I'm not going to fight you over a cart, grow up.
Yeah, like, it's just a shitty thing.
It's just considerate.
It's just being considerate.
And somebody might be like, oh, he's having a bad day.
Well, okay, plenty of people have bad days.
They still return their carts or carties.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a whole lot of lot of like people just forget common
courtesy and it drives me crazy i've we've said this before many times common courtesy is one of
the things that i i seem to feel like i go out of my way to do to be courteous to other people
even though i probably shouldn't do it 90 of the the time that I'm doing it, I just don't care. Like, if I can take two seconds out of my life to be kind to a person and, like, get out of the way or move or do something or help in some way, I'll do it.
And I don't understand why other people are like, no.
I hurt my shoulder doing that last week.
What?
Why?
What do you do?
First off, one, how?
Second off, why?
why what do you first off one how second off why so i was uh i was getting food from this one restaurant and i was exiting but these two people were coming in i didn't see them so i was like oh
i should have gotten the door so i reached back till i grabbed the door but it was kind of a
heavy door so i think i just like hyper extended my shoulder or like my arm and i was like oh and
i got it and i was like there you go and they're like thanks and I just right away. I was like that's gonna hurt
It didn't hurt then but then like hours later. I was like, yeah, that's sore
But luckily it was only like it was like a day or two being sore
It wasn't bad like I didn't die like I normally do
So but you did nothing and still got hurt
Well, it wasn't just, I'm holding the door open.
It was like I twisted my entire body around to grab the door and like hyper extended my shoulder, which I don't know.
I just as soon as I did that, I was like, oh, this is a bad position to be.
I was like, oh, you know, you know what absolutely sucks about that?
It's like kind of get it.
There's been moments where I absolutely shouldn't have held the door
because it would be physically impossible to do so.
Yet I'll attempt to do it knowing that I shouldn't.
But I know deep down that if I don't, I'm going to be like, oh, man, that person behind you thinks you're a real dick, Jesse.
You're really screwed up now.
But so I got over that quickly, right?
So, like, I'm doing pretty all right right now
uh heads better next doing pretty decent you know i've started exercising again we're we're back on
track uh so big thing was it walgreens all right 2 a.m maybe 2 30 whoa uh 2 a.m.? Yeah. Why?
Fun to go to Walgreens 2 a.m.
Just buy like a candy bar, buy an ice cream, buy a drink.
You know, it's Walgreens.
Buy some drugs.
You're living the life of like a 19-year-old bachelor.
You can buy your magnesium or some shit.
I don't know.
You can buy whatever you want, right?
2 a.m.
Yeah, you can buy whatever you want, right? 2 a.m. Yeah, you can stalk about magnesium.
No one's fighting over the last of that at 2 a.m.
Yeah.
But here's the crazy part, all right?
So there's a guy in front of me in line, all right?
He's just some normal dude buying his stuff.
Again, I don't know.
Normal dude buying his stuff is applicable at 2 a.m., but okay.
It's probably normal.
There's people that work night shifts.
There's people that just need their drugs at 2 a.m. from Walgreens.
Dude, I worked a night shift all through college.
No one normal is up at 2 a.m. buying stuff at Walgreens.
That's true.
I'm there.
I'm awake.
I promise you.
Yeah.
I was up at night.
I'm not normal.
I know you ain't normal.
There's no normal happening at 2 a.m in walgreens he was the most normal of the okay all right i'll allow
it all right uh then i get in line and then this lady behind me okay she is probably like this 60
year old woman and you could tell she was like not having a good time like right away
so the checkout lady she's just like this old like southern looking woman just like probably
chain smokes like yeah honey like that type you know and she's like checking out the guy and the
lady behind me goes like is this the only register open? And I was like, yeah, I think so.
Like, what do you want?
It's 2 a.m.
They have like the old thing like working.
So then she says to the lady talking to the guy.
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, wait a minute.
Hold on.
So she shows up at 2 a.m.
There's one register and she's upset that it's not going faster.
She's upset that more registers aren't open.
Well, of course.
Yeah.
And I was like, I think that's the only one open.
So then she says to the woman, excuse me, is this are the other registers open?
And then the lady goes, no, this is the only one.
And then the lady says, OK, well, I'm not psychic.
And then the Walgreens lady's just like okay she just like kept checking the guy out and then i was just like what the shit like okay you don't
gotta be psychic to realize that it's 2 a.m and there's only one register open and we're not even
going that slow like the dude's getting checked out fast that i got checked out in like 30 seconds and then she went i was just like what it blew my mind i promise
you that cashier has dealt with some crazy ass people oh yeah i promise you that she was like
yeah okay like she just no patience or time. Oh, 100%. No doubt.
I have seen some crazy people in there at 2 a.m. One time this lady was buying like an entire cart full of stuff at like 2 a.m.
I was like, she's doing her Christmas shopping at like Walgreens at 2 a.m.
in like July.
What's going on?
It's wild.
I don't.
There used to be one guy there, and he'd always just be like,
have a good day.
Hey, have a good morning.
Have a good day.
But you could tell he was not having a good morning
or a good day,
but he always went out beyond his,
he'd always go out of the way to say that.
So I was like, hey, you know,
at least he's faking it, right?
Then there was just one very old man,
and he just never
talked. That was my favorite guy that worked
there. He was
just like, he'd just check
out the thing and if he did talk, he'd be like
it's $5.99.
It's $2.99.
And he was just done
with everyone's shit. And I was like,
I like this guy. He's great.
So yeah is great people
at walgreens just all around yeah i don't uh i mean i have so many questions about your nighttime
activity do you other nighttime shopping what what goes on with you well back in uh back before
covid there used to be more places open like we used to go to Walmart 24 hours. We went to
Meijer 24 hours. There was a bunch
of places open 24 hours. Now there's nothing.
It's just some Walgreens,
some CVSs, maybe
a couple Walmarts. I'm
genuinely
shocked
by your nighttime adventures.
When I was younger,
100%, I would go on these wild nighttime adventures.
But you, my man, you're still doing it.
You're keeping the dream alive.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, it's fun to just go when there's, like, nobody there.
You can see, like, just people stocking shelves.
You know, you can see crazy people.
It's great.
I love it.
I will say that when I, man, when I was in college, we would go late night to Walmart.
There is nothing better than 2 a.m. Walmart.
You think Walgreens is crazy?
2 a.m. Walmart is like I one time saw a couple in the cereal aisle or whatever it is where they have the cereal like you know like the dried goods
aisle of Walmart right and
the guy was like trying
to choose a cereal and this woman had her
hands down his pants rubbing his butt
and I was like none of this is
okay
you're touching product with those hands
ma'am none of this is okay
what the shit
yeah and I was like just because it's late you think
no one's here there are people here and we are all watching this go down and the guy's like
looking for cereals and it wasn't like he was like you know you'd think all right maybe this
fine gentleman is looking for a cereal like i don't know um wheaties or some sort of like a
delightful checks no he was looking at the Ninja Turtle cereal.
I was like, this is so weird.
Everything about this is creepy.
That is pretty creepy.
It was a little weird.
I was like, so we got this guy looking at Ninja Turtle cereal,
and this girl is just rubbing his butt.
Not the outside.
Her hands are in his pants.
What a combo yeah yeah i guess it's love man love yeah like he must have really wanted ninja turtle cereal he must he must i mean i get it sometimes you just want cereal at 2 a.m i mean
i feel like it's one of those you should plan things, but...
I mean, sometimes you can't plan it.
The hunger hits, right?
The craving.
What kind of Ninja Turtle cereal is it?
Oh, I don't know.
This was when I was 19, 20 years old at the time.
So, I don't know.
It would have been Ninja Turtle cereal, whatever it was.
Ninja Turtle cereal. I just looked would have been Ninja Turtle cereal, whatever it was. Ninja Turtle cereal.
I just looked up 90s
Ninja Turtle cereal.
There are numerous Ninja Turtle
cereals. I will tell you I know
exactly what kind it is.
Turtle faces. Little green turtle faces.
Little green turtle
faces? Ninja Turtle cereal
and the cereal was like little green
turtle faces. And if you got it, it came with a collector's bowl that had like one of the guys in it.
Oh, I think I see what you're talking about.
Little turtle face things.
Like currently, the problem is right now it looks like there's another Ninja Turtle cereal that is selling right now.
Yeah.
There's another Ninja Turtle cereal that is selling right now.
Yeah.
And that turtle cereal has weird sewer disc shapes and marshmallow turtles.
That's not it at all.
Yeah, I see that one.
Yeah, this is a different.
This is older.
Yeah, it's really hard to find right now.
But yeah, they have like little turtle.
The faces look like the outline of the turtle's faces.
Maybe that's what he wanted.
Maybe.
Again, it wouldn't have mattered if he was getting kooky crisp or kicks.
It doesn't matter.
It's just weird that he chose Ninja Turtle cereal.
Like he was fingering the Ninja Turtle cereal thing as his woman's hands were down his pants.
And it was weird.
That's all.
The situation was weird.
Also, I found some guy on YouTube. It says, enjoying 25-year-old
TMNT cereal. Gross.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
The worst part is, this actually sucks.
I scrolled down far enough that I
see trying a bite of
25-year-old TMNT cereal.
Our algorithm lined up.
Man, that is... That is is just i don't know either way
uh there's some weird people out there at night yes yeah yeah there's there's really just people
but i'll let you know most people out there at night don't want to be bothered yeah so it isn't
like they're up to no good i mean all
right that's probably that's probably a lie definitely up to no good but most of the time
when you're in a grocery store it's just other weirdos and you get to watch them and that's it's
fun admittedly i uh the other night when i went to the grocery store it wasn't like late it was
like 11 but like it was late enough to where there's like less people there. The dude's like power washing the floor and shit.
And then there's this like these people, there's like a girl and one of her friends like in a shopping cart and then her dad.
And they're like, Dad, they have alcoholic ice cream.
And he was like, if I want ice cream, I'll have ice cream.
If I want alcohol, I'll have alcohol.
That dad set those kids right. I want alcohol, I'll have alcohol. That dad
set those kids right.
I was like, this man's right.
He's not wrong.
Alcoholic ice cream's fun if you're
lost in the city and you're like,
you know what, it'll be fun, it'll be crazy, but I don't want to
buy it and bring it home.
Time to watch my shows
with my alcoholic ice cream.
With my alcoholic ice cream.
You already drank and now you're just finishing it up with alcoholic ice cream on top of it.
No, it's all right.
I don't want to have a problem.
Yeah.
That is.
There actually is a lot of alcoholic ice cream looking at it now.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's a trend that I think started a little bit before COVID.
The biggest problem, though, is most alcoholic ice cream melts so quickly because of the alcohol.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
I didn't even think of that.
So you're just like, cool, I'm drinking alcoholic milk.
Awesome.
So cool.
Yeah, I don't know.
Honestly, I'd rather have like a root beer float.
Like, you know?
Oh, no, I don't want like a root beer float. Like, you know?
No, I don't want ice cream and beer.
Oh, you know what I did have though once?
I went to a ramen place here in LA and they had frozen Sapporo.
Oh, interesting.
And the foam was like a frozen foam.
Oh, dude, that was delicious.
Oh, interesting.
So, I mean, I don't know how it worked.
I don't know why it worked, but it was like extra cold.
And like, it was almost like you were drinking a beer with chipped ice in it kind of vibe.
Oh, I see.
I was here for it.
Would I get it again over a normal beer?
No.
It seems like it took me like way too long to drink it because it was so cold.
I was like, this is too cold to consume it because it was so cold i was like this is this is too cold to consume but it was fun see i well they said what's the best beer and ice cream float but you know it's
not like bud light or something they have like like a stout probably guinness or something like
that yeah like a they got a maple walnut stout uh dark ale honey beer coffee porter stout like a lot
of the darker one. That sounds good.
That could be fun, yeah.
You'd have to have a good ice cream, though.
Something that would go well with a beer flavor.
100%.
I don't know if normal-ass vanilla would cut it.
Or it'd have to be fancy vanilla.
Yeah, but even then, I feel like it was a waste to put fancy vanilla in beer.
I'd be like, I don't know.
It can't be chunky, right?
Yeah.
But it may be like, I don't know, maybe like a churro-flavored ice cream work.
I bet that would work.
Yeah, I mean, you just put the cinnamon.
I mean, you could do vanilla with cinnamon in beer.
I don't know.
Yeah, well, that's why we don't own a restaurant or ice cream manufacturer.
It's not our job to figure this out.
You figure it out, internet.
Yeah.
Also, I'm curious.
All right, you saying that the crunchy.
Do you like crunchy or smooth peanut butter?
Oh, I'm a crunchy peanut butter person.
You know, if I have a sandwich, I want the crunch of lettuce or the crunch of, like, if I put chips in in the sandwich i want that there versus a sandwich
without it because then i'm like it's okay it could be better i don't know why i can't explain
it to you i just like the crunch of crunchy peanut butter better but i still will eat normal as like
i'll still eat normal as peanut butter i'm no fool yeah like i mean i used to like smooth peanut
butter the most then i tried the crunchy and was like, I actually kind of like it.
But I think I'm like 50-50 on it.
I don't mind either one.
Yeah, no, I'll eat whatever you got for me.
The one thing about peanut butter that I won't handle is I need my peanut butter to be,
I don't want to say processed, but more processed than the kind you could get
where it's like, oh, Jimbo Jones made his peanut butter.
And when you open it, there's like a thick layer of goo at the top.
All the oil, yeah.
Like the oil.
And then you have to mix and mix and mix.
And it never tastes quite right.
It always tastes just like you're eating nut spread, which is nuts.
If I want peanut butter, I want the peanut butter that in my brain I remember eating as a kid,
which most likely was some processed jif or something.
So the closest I can get to that, the better.
I'll have you know I do buy the nut butter oils.
Well, of course you do.
What I do is I mix it up in the store.
You're walking around.
I'll shake that thing.
And then you get home, put it in the fridge.
Bam.
Oh, see, I don't put it in the fridge.
That's probably what I'm doing wrong.
Yeah, you're missing that.
Put it in the fridge.
Boom, you're good.
It's great.
But I don't want to – I don't know.
Like, I don't want it cold, cold because then when I put it on the bread,
it may not melt.
Like, I want – when it's on that, like, hot toast,
I want that melt factor in there.
So by the time I take a bite, it's like, is this going to run down my chin a little bit?
Maybe.
Yeah, but if it's already, the thing you're putting it on is hot, it's going to be fine.
It'll just melt.
Even if it's cold, it'll warm up and melt.
I mean, like, look, you're right.
You're not wrong.
Exactly.
Just, uh.
So there's no use in that.
I don't know.
I'm also into either a hazelnut butter or an almond butter is fun.
I had a cashew butter the other day, and that was good.
Again, it all comes down to consistency.
Everything I put in my body, that's a weird thing to say.
Everything that I eat, it's about the consistency of the way it tastes on the palate.
If that makes any sense. If it's gooey or slimy.
Great example, and I've said this before, is the tapioca balls that they put in various teas.
Can't do them.
Can't do them.
You just don't like the texture.
Yeah, it's strictly texture based They barely have a flavor
So it's not flavor based
And the tea is fine
If I could get the tea without boba
I'd be fine
But it's literally just the texture
I don't know why that is
Same thing with tomatoes
Love tomatoes
Tomato seeds almost make me puke
What? Tomato seeds?
Yeah, like if I
Can eat a tomato, put a tomato
Like on a sandwich and I'll eat it, totally fine
But if you had me bite into a tomato
The tomato seed
Texture with the tomato and the
Gushiness of the tomato, I would be like
Yeah
But a slice of tomato on a sandwich, perfectly fine
It doesn't have to make any sense.
It's just who I am, I guess.
So you just don't like slimy things.
Yeah, slimy and goopy.
If you were to cook or grill an oyster, totally fine.
If you want me to eat an oyster raw, can't do it.
Oh, yeah, I see.
I know there's a lot of people like that, or it's
just they're hypersensitive
to certain textures.
Also, I probably have a
terrible gag reflex.
When I brush my teeth,
I'll sometimes, you know,
do my tongue like you
gotta do your tongue
sometimes.
If I go back a little
too far, I'm like,
bleh, bleh.
It's always been a
trouble at dentists when
they had to do, like,
mouth molds, especially
when I was getting my braces in ninth grade.
They'd be like, all right, put this goop in your mouth.
I don't know if anyone out there has ever had to get braces.
Oh, yeah, it sucked.
In the olden days, they would take a cast of your mouth, and the way they'd do it is they had these little mouth bracket things they put in.
And in my time, it was this pink-ass goop that they said tasted like bubble gum but
never did.
And they cram it in your mouth, and they're supposed to get impressions.
The problem is they put so much damn goop that when they put it in your mouth, it would
spread all over your mouth.
Oh, yeah.
It would close.
And it would, like, shoot in the back of your throat, and I would every time almost die.
And they had to do it every time They had to change the shape of my braces
And so
One of the worst
It was akin to water torture for me
It sucked
Eventually after like a year and a half of doing it
I learned to just breathe through my nose
And like suck it up
But that first couple times
Man that was rough going
I was like I'm going to puke all over you guys
It was bad
I had that happen because I had to get my mouth guard
For my grinding my teeth
They do the same things
They take a mold of your upper teeth to put it there
And so I was just like
But yeah you just breathe through your nose you're good
Yeah it's one of the worst things
I had
Sucked dude sucked And so yeah that's definitely a problem that I. It's one of the worst things. Sucked, dude.
Sucked.
And so, yeah, that's definitely a problem that I have is just texture things.
Like my mouth is just like, no, bro.
Sticky, slimy, goopy.
Not a fan.
But on the flip side, spice me out, dude.
I'll eat the hottest thing you got.
I will eat the sweetest or sourest thing you have and be just fine.
But, yeah, everything texture-based.
Flavor, fine.
Texture, can't do it.
I know.
What about cilantro?
Some people hate cilantro.
Cilantro, totally fine.
I do understand that apparently
people think it tastes like...
I don't know what they think it tastes like.
Pee or some shit?
I don't know what's going on.
It tastes like soap.
Soap, that's what it is.
I don't know why I said pee.
Somehow that was correct.
Cilantro tastes like pee. Tastes like it is i don't know why i said p like somehow that was correct this cilantro tastes like p it's like p like how would you know it's uh i love cilantro it kind of has like the soapy smell like it's a clean smell
right so maybe that's what it is but like maybe i just like the taste of soap yeah maybe maybe
we're just soap boys we love soap yeah like maybe maybe. Maybe we're just soap boys. We love soap. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe the people that are like, hey, it just tastes like soap.
But really, the other people eating it just like the taste of soap.
They have the same taste.
Yeah, we're just afraid to say.
That'd be weird.
Yeah, I love cilantro.
It's great.
Yeah, but I guess it comes down to where you put it and what you mix it into.
I don't know that I just have cilantro all the time but if i'm you know it like mixes well with onions and like
there's a lot of uses for it yeah it's uh cilantro is it gene cilantro gene why is cilantro tastes
like soap to some people but for those cilantro haters for whom the plant tastes like soap the
issue is genetic. These people
have a variation in a group of olfactory
receptor genes that allows them to strongly
perceive the soapy-flavored
aldehydes in cilantro leaves.
Interesting. Huh.
Yeah, that is...
Apparently, this
genetic quirk is usually found in a small
percentage of the population, though it varies
geographically.
Places where cilantro is especially popular,
like Central America and India, have fewer people with these genes,
which might explain how the herb was able to become such a mainstay in those regions.
Yeah, I wonder why or where people who come, like where people come from where they have like a no, no, no to cilantro.
I guess like the opposite of those places.
Probably like northern Canada.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's interesting.
But apparently...
Yeah, I think it's neat though.
A lot of people, if you get repeated exposure to the herb,
they can get over the taste aversion.
So maybe it is just like a you got to get used to it type thing.
I don't know.
Repeated exposure to the herb.
It's so funny.
But also maybe it's like the same vibe as, again,
this seems very like old wives tale kind of thing,
but a lot of people are saying that if you don't expose kids to certain foods
when they're young, they'll develop an aversion to them later in allergy form.
Yeah, I've heard that too.
I don't know how real that is because it sounds like people are just saying feed your kid a nut so the kid doesn't end up being allergic to nuts.
Which I don't know if that's how it works, but it feels like that's the vibe.
Yeah, I have no clue.
I heard if you eat your local honey, it helps with But it feels like that's the vibe. Yeah, I have no clue. I heard there's a, if you like eat your local honey, it like helps with allergies and stuff like that.
That's what I've heard is again, one of those things where it's like, is that true?
I don't know.
I mean, it makes sense.
I'm like, I think it's true.
But who knows?
I will say I, since coming to LA, my allergies have not been nearly as bad as they were in the past.
And I get my farmer's market honey, dude.
Love it.
Eat it up.
I just imagine the Mari show.
Some woman who's like, I hate cilantro.
And they're like, bring out the cilantro.
And they're like a big soap man.
You know what?
Those shows always sucked because it would always start simple.
Just like, I have a fear of worms.
And they'd be like, bring out worms.
And eventually it was like, I have a fear of broccoli.
And it'd be a woman screaming at a bunch of broccoli.
And you're like, what the hell's going on?
Yeah, and they're always just like, I know you're afraid of broccoli.
So bring out broccoli, man.
She's like, what the hell?
Yeah, I mean, I don't know i don't i never understood i mean there's probably
some like trauma or something tied into that but the just the fact that mari is just constantly
torturing people it's like mari just found a way to torture everyone for fun and make money
i mean most of those shows even though there are some good watching,
but most of those shows were like,
Stephanie, Tom, you are not the father.
And then it would be 15 minutes of the crowd reaction
and one of them dancing around, and then it would be like,
all right, show's over.
And you're like, that was the show, bro?
Yeah, plus I think a lot of them just fake it to be on TV.
I know that's a common thing oh i mean
that's all that jerry springer was yeah they're just like uh can you pretend that you two are
having a baby and then they're like yeah we'll do that and they're like they pay him like i don't
know 500 bucks or something then they're just like yeah we're having a baby and they're like
you're not the father like so, what? So, yeah.
People do anything for money.
That's the truth.
That is truth.
Speaking of doing anything for money.
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All right, Crandall, let's go to chapter 7.
This is Crandall. let's go to chapter 7 of the Skylar Crandall House. I'm driving out there!
Oh man, traffic? You would think it would be calming down, but it's not.
It's still kind of bad, but I'm sure it'll slowly calm down until the holidays hit and they'll go crazy again.
It's just traffic.
Also, you're doing code 50 cocks, but I just imagined 50 of you.
And I thought of the thing where it's like, who would win?
50 Jesse Coxes that were tiny or one gigantic, like, Titan Jesse Cox?
Titan Jesse Cox would win. Let's not pretend.
I mean, I don't know. You know, it could be crazy.
It could be a battle, but we'll let the people decide. Thank you.
Thanks, Crendor. Now let's go to Crendor at the weather desk.
How's that weather?
Weather.
We got a weather request for Panama City Beach, Florida.
It is the final day of tourism season nearing fall, and it's absolutely miserable.
Finally coming off of near 100 degree heat with high humidity.
That does sound terrible.
The person that wrote us or is that your essay on Panama City?
It's terrible.
Panama City, one of the worst places I've ever been.
No, this person wrote it.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, Panama City.
Whoa, there's a hurricane again?
I guess it is hurricane season, but.
That sounds correct.
Let's see.
Panama City Beach, Florida. Currently, 82 degrees. It is nighttime, though. it is hurricane season but that sounds correct let's see panama city beach florida currently 82
degrees it is nighttime though uh feels like 88 71 humidity 29.98 inches of pressure 10 mile
visibility two miles of wind 72 on the dew point 6 25 a.m sunrise 6 55 p.m sunset a uv index zero moon phase waning crescent take a look at 10 day it did calm down
89 mostly sunny on monday uh partly cloudy 87 on tuesday 88 partly cloudy on wednesday thursday
88 with some isolated thunderstorms friday 86 scattered thunderstorms Saturday mostly sunny with 85 and Sunday 87 with
no sun it'll be raining in the morning and then next Monday 87 mostly sunny so a lot of high 80s
with maybe rain sounds good especially for uh Florida where is Panama City Beach is that like
on the Panama City Beach sounds like it's going to be on the butt end of the – I'm trying to think of how you would describe that.
In the Gulf of Mexico.
Yeah, it's on the panhandle, right?
The handle of the Florida?
Yeah, that checks out, yeah.
Yeah, it's up there.
There it is by Laguna Beach.
And they got Biddewee Beach.
Wait, what?
Biddewee Beach?
Biddewee Beach, mate, what? Biddewee Beach? Biddewee Beach, mate.
It definitely sounds Australian for some reason.
Biddewee Beach, mate.
Biddewee Beach.
There you go.
They got Beach Island Bites, though.
I'm trying to see if they have anything that's like, you know, like cool.
Oh, they do.
I found Fatty Patty's Beach Cafe.
All right. We got a winner. there it is fatty patty's take a look here that does look like a fatty patty's restaurant to be honest i love fatty
patty's i like the uh the artwork looks like what you would see at a retirement home kind of
i would say retirement i'd say uh old like old person retired living at home on their yard
yes but the restaurant itself looks like nothing's been changed in years and i'm kind of here for it
oh yeah no doubt you can see this is your classic diner this is 100 a classic diner the name is
great everything they made they literally made a funfetti cake like i mean come on
who's making a funfetti cake that isn't like a sixth grader yeah this is great yeah i love this
all right below there's like they change the windows it's like a dog surfing and then like
some kids at the beach with a sun and a weird et what the shit is that hold on do you see this
go down it's there's Funfetti.
Then there's some other thing, a biscuit, and then the windows.
All right.
Do you see the dog surfing?
Funfetti.
Yep.
The windows.
I do now.
Then go all the way to the right.
There's like an E.T. on the right.
Dude, I don't know what that thing is.
I'm telling you.
The art, the painted art on the window says the exact same vibe as like the painted art
at a retirement home.
I'm telling you, dude.
This is, whatever that thing is, it looks like maybe it's supposed to be a tiki mask.
Oh, yeah.
Is it a tiki, like totem thing?
Maybe.
It definitely has E.T. vibes, though. It looks like E.T. It's like if E.T. had the head of a cupcake, too. Oh, I. Is it a tiki totem thing? It definitely has an E.T. vibe, though.
It's like if E.T. had the head of a cupcake, too.
Oh, I love that.
I love patty patties.
That's great.
That's all I need to see.
That's the weather.
All right.
Let's go to sports.
Sports.
Oh, boy.
Football is back.
American football, that is.
And what a day. Currently
the Cowboys are playing the Giants
in the fourth quarter and it's 40-0
Cowboys.
So that's pretty embarrassing. That's rough.
The Lions
beat the Chiefs on opening
night. Go Lions!
21-20. The Browns
beat the Bengals in the-20. The Browns beat the Bengals in the Ohio
Bowl. The Ravens
beat the Texans. The Buccaneers
somehow beat the Vikings.
The Falcons beat the Panthers.
The Commanders beat the Cardinals. The Jaguars
beat the Colts. 49ers
beat the Steelers.
The Saints beat the Titans.
The Raiders beat the Broncos. The Eagles
beat the Patriots. The Rams beat the Seahawks. The Dolphins beat the Chargers. The Packers beat the Titans. The Raiders beat the Broncos. The Eagles beat the Patriots. The Rams beat the Seahawks.
The Dolphins beat the Chargers.
The Packers beat the Bears.
Jordan Love era.
And then tomorrow night, Bill's Jets will be a fun game.
So that was fun.
Also in baseball standings,
we currently got the Baltimore Orioles sitting in first.
The Twins and the Astros all
leading their division. And in the wildcard, you got your Tampa Bay Rays, your Toronto Blue Jays,
and then Seattle a half game up on Texas. And then in the NL, you got the Braves,
the Dodgers and the Brewers all at the top with the Philadelphia Phillies, the Chicago Cubs and the Diamondbacks in the wildcard spots with the Miami
Marlins, a half game back of Arizona.
And yeah, that's sports.
Okay.
Let's go to our fact of the day.
Fact of the day.
Day.
Day. Day. Yeah. day fact of the day day day day yeah yes not gonna lie i had it open i think i accidentally
closed the uh the fact of the day it was about german chocolate cake not being chocolate
or not being german it's one of those two.
Oh, there we go.
I'll just bring it up. I'll just type it in. There we go.
Where did German chocolate cake originate?
Even though the cake is called German, it wasn't brought over from Germany. Instead, it
originated in Dallas, Texas in
1957, but just
like the cake, its history is much
richer than that.
Well, I mean, I don't want to read the whole
history of it.
I just wanted to see.
I think the guy who made it's last name was like German or something.
I don't know.
No way his last name was German.
John German.
Hold on.
Okay, maybe I do want to read it.
The German chocolate cake story dates back to the 1850s when a baker named Samuel German created a sweet baking chocolate.
Get out of here. There it is.
That's it. He's the one.
What do you know?
Alright, so it's named after him then instead
of a country. Yeah, it's named after him
and not a country, but you hear German and you
go, oh, it's probably from Germany. So, yeah.
And, you know, I know Americans.
I know what we do. We immediately are just like, oh
damn, German? Just like french fries.
Yeah. Like, oh man, them German, just like French fries. Yeah.
Like, oh, man, them French fries they eat over there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hearing this really makes me want to not put my shopping cart back.
Wow.
That's your fact of the day.
All right.
What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. All right. What is our big news story of the day?
Big news story of the day.
Day.
Day.
I've actually got two stories.
One is a small news story of the day.
And then we have a returning story of a past. One of the big news stories.
What is the small news story of the day?
All right, small news story.
I had to do this one.
Competitors get down and dirty at Britain's Bog Snorkeling Championships.
All right.
What does that even mean?
You'll find out.
Intrepid athletes don snorkels and slithered through slime on Sunday
during one of Britain's quirkiest sporting events,
the World Bog Snorkeling Championships.
The annual competition in the tiny town of Landwarded Wells, Wales,
sees competitors race to complete two lengths of a 60-yard, 55-meter,
water-filled trench cut through a peat bog.
They can use flippers on their feet, but conventional swimming strokes are
banned.
Here is what you're looking for.
This sounds terrible.
I'm looking at it.
It looks terrible.
The whole point of a bog is you don't ever
want to go in it.
It'll bog you down. That's the whole point.
That does make sense uh some contestants
accessorize their snorkels masks and flippers with more flamboyant touches one carried a giant
plastic toad on their head as you see there another had a bathing cap adorned with flowers
and spectators also got in on the fun with two wearing pink cardboard boxes proclaiming them to
be limited edition bog snorkelingkeling, Barbie, and Ken.
Competitors at the 35th annual contest were hoping to beat the time of the current world record holder Neil Rudder,
who won in 1 minute 18 seconds in 2018.
Yeah, that's too much Bogs.
That's too much.
The more I look into this, the more I see it, I'm like,
no, man, I'd get some sort of bug that would eat my flesh going
in there no thanks yeah that does not look pleasant at all no thing that's got the brain
eating amoebas or whatever the image of this girl trying to get through the bog with a like a toad
on her head that's how i imagine the entire thing feels. Oh, 100%. Awful.
So there's that. Then we have the big news story.
Uh-oh.
Florida man rescued again while attempting to cross Atlantic in floating hamster wheel.
Is this our boy?
Yep.
He's back.
Did he not say the last time he tried this,
like, I'm going to do it again?
Everyone's like, I don't know.
You won't.
Yep.
Here we are.
He's done it again.
Here's his giant hamster wheel this time.
What improvements did he make?
How is this any different than the previous time?
I don't actually know.
Didn't he almost die last time?
What is this guy doing? He might have.
So, Florida
ultramarathoner and peace activist
is facing felony charges after allegedly
attempting to run across the Atlantic in a homemade
hamster wheel in what authorities said
was his at least
fourth attempt.
Yep. Ray
Bellucci. Intercoastal stunt and ended approximately 60 miles off the coast of
south carolina last week after the coast guards said they spotted him floating in the circular
cage uh initially near savannah georgia during routine preparations ahead of hurricane idalia
the 51 year old said he was heading for l London, England, but he was repeatedly told his vessel was unsafe
and should not be in use.
It was described as staying afloat through wiring and buoys,
according to a copy of the criminal complaint.
Dude, he's probably going to the Bog Festival.
He had to get there.
He was running as fast as he could.
Bellucci allegedly refused to leave his vessel,
which authorities described as a hydropod he threatened to stab himself if anyone tried to stop him
no jesus oh man let it go that's this is the officer stayed with him for three days as he
continued to make his way up the coast during which he also allegedly threatened to blow himself up with a
device that was later found to be phony authority said do it i guess uh he ultimately surrendered
near georgetown south carolina on august 29th was brought to miami federal court where he was
charged with obstruction of boarding in violation of the captain of the port order according to the
question is this the furthest he's ever made it?
I'm not sure, actually.
It does sound like he's moving.
He never makes it actually out to sea, which is hilarious.
He always runs up the coast and then gets caught.
Instead of doing what he should, he's trying to get to leave from Boston
or leave from Maine and then go across.
He keeps trying to do it from Florida.
Stop it.
Yeah, you got to stop that.
Go somewhere where they don't care.
According to the court documents,
this was Bellucci's fourth attempt to traverse the high seas and the floating
craft previously being stopped by Coast Guard in 2014, 2016, and 2021.
His first attempt cost taxpayers more than $140,000,
the Coast Guard said in a statement
after the failed attempt to reach the Bermuda Triangle in 2014.
Well, of course it started there.
Of course it had to have started there.
And you know that's a thing where they're going to be like,
well, why'd they stop him?
They didn't want him to go to the Bermuda Triangle.
That's probably why he keeps trying to do it,
because he's like, they stopped me once.
I know the truth now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The law enforcement agency said it provided Bellucci
with an outlawed series of requirements
if he wanted to safely and legally travel in such a vessel again.
These requirements were ignored,
and he was rescued in another homemade vessel in 2016 while attempting to travel from Florida to Bermuda, Puerto Rico, Haiti, Cuba, and back again.
His publicist at the time told South Florida Sun-Sentinel
that it was her understanding that the Coast Guard's order was merely a recommendation and not a mandate.
She added that he would, quote,
definitely try again.
Bellucci has publicly
presented himself as a peace
activist. His website states that his mission
is showing the world that anything is possible
if only you believe.
An attorney listed as representing
Bellucci did not immediately respond to a
request for comment.
The attorney listed
as representing, like like that dude probably
doesn't even know he's listed it's like who that is man what a guy you know he's just a guy
he's just trying to show everyone that anything is possible if you believe but that's actually
not true he's never achieved that he hasn't achieved it is. He didn't make it to Bermuda.
He didn't get to the Bermuda Triangle.
Now he's like, you know what?
Forget Bermuda.
That was the wrong direction.
I'm going to London.
I'm going to the UK.
So if anything, he's showing everybody that nothing is possible if you believe.
Stop trying is what he's showing people.
It's okay to give up is what he's showing people.
I mean, I believe that everybody will put their shopping cards back,
and that's never going to happen. Yeah, that's not
that's way easier. Yeah.
So, you know what?
I'm excited to see what he does in
2025.
Yeah, good luck. I hope he
all he had to do was listen to what they
wanted him to do to make his vessel more seaworthy.
Yeah, that's all he had to do. And he just keeps making the
same damn ship. I'm looking at it right now. It's
the exact same thing. It is. Like, why doesn't he,. And he just keeps making the same damn ship. I'm looking at it right now. It's the exact same thing.
It is.
Like, why doesn't he just make the adjustments?
I don't know.
That makes no sense.
But none of this makes sense because that's why we're covering it.
That is true.
And that's your big news story of the day.
All right.
Well, that's it for us.
Thanks so much for listening and watching.
I'm going to join this podcast, Crandor.
Hit them with the socials. We got socials. YouTube us. Thanks so much for listening and watching. I'm going to join this podcast, Crandor, and socials.
We got socials.
YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast.
That's where you can find all these podcasts dating back to 10 years ago.
And I have them all organized by year, playlist-wise.
So you can just listen to one specific year.
Wow, that's very convenient.
Thanks, Crandor.
Very convenient.
Also, give it a like, comment, and subscribe.
And leave your weather requests.
We've only been getting one or two, I think,
so I have to pick one,
and then the other person has to be like,
he probably saw mine and didn't pick it.
It's true, but I can only pick one, all right?
More weather requests, damn it.
Leave more so that people can feel less bad as well.
I honestly usually just put it in the RNG generator,
or I just see the first one that comes to mind.
Which actually means that if you comment your weather request last,
it'll get picked first.
But don't do that.
So it's like bidding on eBay.
You got to wait to the very end.
You better wait until, like, Friday night and put in your bid.
Yeah, but wait.
But don't forget.
Otherwise, someone else will win that item, the weather request.
Also, YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor.
We had a new animation go up.
Go check that out.
Also, we're on Spotify, SoundCloud, iTunes.
We're all over.
Also, follow us on our things.
Twitch TV, Jesse Cox.
Twitch TV, Crendor.
YouTube, Jess Cox.
YouTube, Crendor.
Facebook, Jess Cox.
Facebook, Crendor.
Twitter, Jess Cox.
Twitter, Crendor.
Or, sorry, ex-Crendor, ex-Jesse Cox.
A little barf.
Instagram Notorious Cox, Instagram Crendor was taken.
TikTok Jess Cox, TikTok, TikTok Crendor, Patreon Crendor, Patreon Jess Cox.
Cox Clips, Crend Clips, Warhammer Crendor.
That's it.
Okay, that's it for us.
We'll see you all next time.
And as always, shake the rhino.
Dobe continue. That's it for us. We'll see you all next time. And as always, shake the rhino. To be continued.