Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 417 - Neal the Seal
Episode Date: March 3, 2024The boys are back and this time our good boy Crendor is recovering from a cold, even though he eats so much yogurt! Meanwhile Jesse is obsessed with a new commercial for butt crack cream. Yes, you rea...d that and I wrote that. Also Australia brings us our newest animal super hero as well as many questions. All this plus so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor for 20% off and free shipping. Go to http://factormeals.com/cox50 and use code cox50 to get 50% off. Come see Cox n' Crendor Live! https://t.co/EeWQDuVDe1
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Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies that I have on me.
Also today we're brought to you by Factor. Factor, gonna deliver those good meals right to your home.
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Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
This is Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4 hour and 40 studio. Recorded. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Grendar in the morning.
Ugh.
Why, why, ugh?
I've been sick this last week.
That's what I hear about you.
How'd you get sick? What happened to you?
Usually you're the guy who's like, I'm immune
for I eat yogurt. I actually
haven't had a cold, like a normal
cold in like five or six
years. Well, that's what you get
for kissing all those strangers lately.
Well, here's what happened, alright?
Okay, yeah. So, uh, like a week you get for kissing all those strangers lately well here's what happened all right okay yeah
so uh like a week ago i thought i was getting allergies because i had the post nasal drip
right it was like in the back of my throat but it wasn't like a sore throat it was just the old
post nasal right sure right after the nasal yeah of course yeah yeah we discussed this recently
yeah we did a whole bit yes we've done this before this before. Yes. So I was like, all right, well, I had my like annual physical in like the day after this.
So I was like, oh, let's ask my doctor.
So I went to my doctor appointment and he was just like, how are you doing?
And I'm like, I got the post nasal.
And then he was like, uh, do you have any other symptoms?
I'm like, I mean, not really. just, you know, the old post name,
but then I was starting to lose my voice, and I'm like, I'm losing my voice a little bit,
then he's like, let's do a COVID flu test, and I was like, all right, so I got that done,
and that was negative, so he's like, all right, well, you might just have a viral thing,
or it's allergies, turns out, it's a viral cold, But I also had my blood work done.
Triglycerides are doing great.
Magnesium's good.
Wow, you've got minerals in you and stuff?
Yeah, we all do.
Yeah, you're basically a mountain.
So yeah, then a day or two after that,
I started coughing a bit more. It was getting a little more runny. I started coughing a bit more.
I was getting a little more runny.
I started feeling a little more achy.
I was like,
there it is.
Just to be sure,
I did another old COVID test.
That was negative.
I was like,
I guess it is just a normal cold.
It was crazy.
I haven't had one of those in forever.
I was like,
all right.
I was chilled.
I tried to not do much.
I streamed one night. I streamed for like an hour. Then I was like, all right. So I was chilled and, you know, tried to not do much. I streamed one night and I streamed for like an hour.
And then I was like, all right, that is it.
And then I became congested and, you know, a lot of a lot of nose blowing.
So now it's been it's been about seven, eight days.
So I'm at the point where like I'm feeling better But I still have the congestion and I have the the post cold kind of like
bronchitis cough you know I mean where you start just like I
I know what you mean that cold that cold cough that kind of lasts a little longer the linger cough
Yeah, yeah, that sucks. I um
It's got a little bit of like, to it, you know,
where you're just in flame.
Yeah, no, that sucks.
That's not good.
I will say that this past week,
I did wonder where you were.
Now, I'm not going to reach out.
I just noticed you vanished for a while
and I was like, I'm sure he's fine.
You'll be fine.
Yeah, I mean, I was.
Occasionally, I'd ask Dr. John.
It's like, Dr. John, is this cough normal?
And he's like, you're fine.
I was like, all right.
He's my residential insurance, mental insurance.
I don't, I feel like he should be charging you at this point.
He probably should be yeah
he really he really is giving you a lot of professional advice great content to listen to
great with asterisks yeah and uh yeah yeah you know I'm at least able to like do my normal
things now it's just like I can't smell and taste things very well and i'm
congested and i sound like a muppet but you know i kind of sound like a muppet anyway so i was about
to say that's no different than any other time yeah but i at least feel better now which is nice
except for the coffee yeah you sound like a you're you're happy go lucky crendor self
yeah that wasn't me a few days ago. A few days ago, I was like,
bleh, bleh,
and then I would do NyQuil.
Man, NyQuil's great.
Take that, you just pass out,
wake up like seven hours later,
and you're just like, whoa.
Can I ask you a question?
What?
And I feel like this is true.
When you cough or sneeze, do you go, woo, like that? Is that a thing you you go like that is that a thing you do because
it seems like a thing you do what you when and whatever you cough or sneeze i'm imagining you go
like that i do not know i disagree i need toast to come in on this one because i feel like you
make a noise after you cough i do not after. After I sneeze, I go like, wah.
All right, see?
See?
So you make a noise after you sneeze for sure.
But if you cough, you do like a cool, like you do like a cool down noise.
No, when I cough, I'm just like, that's my cough.
I just sound like a dog.
You don't do that?
No, that sounds like you do that.
I don't know. You used to be making noises there
no see the the issue with that is that's an additional noise added to the strain on my body
if you put in that additional noise something's getting pulled okay in fact i strained my ribs
pretty much the other day i was just like coffee fit yeah i was I was just like oh my God So I don't like lay down. I'd like like brace myself when I'd cough and just be like
That's fun
Yeah, I mean I know aside from that
It's just a matter of waiting it out
And then if you go on the internet some people are just like oh you have to do that
Don't listen to people on the internet. That's I mean that's the best advice you could get from two people on the internet don't listen to us yeah yeah it's uh because
they used to be like giving antibiotics out for bronchitis and stuff and then it turns out
most of it's just viral so you're just taking antibiotics blowing up your the your your gut
bacteria you didn't even have to gotta kill that gut bacteria bro yeah so well you don't
you don't wanna kill that gut bacteria
you can't have freeloaders living inside you
unless they paying rent
get them out
that's true they better be paying rent
I got bills to pay
the good bacteria pay their rent by keeping me healthy
the bad bacteria that's where it's like
get out of here dude
get out of here dude we ain't gonna leave unless you send osmosis jones to get us didn't you have a
cold like a month ago or something uh yeah but i'm doing good also it's because i haven't done
anything insanely stupid like get coughed at in the face by random people oh yeah wasn't it like
you went to a con or something then you get it from there yeah the face by random people. Oh, yeah. Wasn't it like you went to a con or something?
Then you get it from there.
Yeah, literally like a random dude turned and coughed right in my face.
It's like, I'm getting sick.
I know it.
I know it.
And I did.
I knew it.
And I was so careful.
I was doing the hand thing.
I was not spending a lot of time in crowded places.
And, of course, I got sick.
Yeah.
Because people are inconsiderate assholes.
Welcome to the world. They really are um people suck dude they really do uh let's see speaking
of which this has nothing to do with that but i did write this down so when i was watching tv
while being sick just being like oh uh they had on the infomercials at night right
and one of the infomercials well not even it was just a commercial uh for like a discreet packaged
p box all right now they're not sending you a box whoa all right all right yeah i was about to say
what do you mean by p box no so it is this
product and it's like are you old can you not hold your urine in very well get this thing and it like
soaks the urine up when you're sleeping or something all right that's like all it was you
don't like pee yourself so they're like well i don't want to buy this because uh somebody might
see me and they're like we'll send it in discreet packaging.
And I was like, isn't everything pretty much sent in discreet packaging now?
And it made me think of them just like sending this box to somebody
that just says like, big pee's the bed loser.
Just like, this box contains product for a loser that pees their bed.
Do not look at this box. And everyone's like, hey, everybody a loser that pees their bed. Do not look at this box.
And everyone's like, hey, everybody, that guy pees the bed.
And then they're like, oh, geez.
Like, of course, it's going to be discreet packaging.
I don't know what they're doing.
This is weird because I'm on the same wavelength as you on the radio lately.
And this might just be an L.A. thing.
It seems very L.A.
But on the radio, there's a commercial.
The commercial opens up with
all you gotta do is put a
little dab on my butt crack.
And then someone goes, what are you
doing? And the woman's like,
oh, I'm doing a stream showing my
followers. And I'm like, time out. What?
Whoa.
She's like, I'm showing my
followers about this new deodorant.
Dude, there is a butt hole deodorant. What the shit? She's like, take a showing my followers About this new deodorant Dude, there is a butthole deodorant
What the shit?
She's like, take a little dab, rub it between your butt cheeks
And he's like, can you say butt cheeks?
She's like, what else would I say?
It's your butt cheeks, rub it between your butt cheeks
And it'll make your butt smell nice
And I'm like, what is happening right now?
And it plays all the time, dude
It's crazy
And the guy's like, that's great she's like
you can use it other places too like wait so is it just a deodorant but they're really just like
put it on your butt like you know for your stanky butt how bad your butt got a stank
you need deodorant for your butt well if you if you need butt deodorant you got some other issues
right that's not good and the commercial is just like yeah this deodorant. You got some other issues. Right? That's not good. And the commercial's just like, yeah, this deodorant's great.
Just a little dab will do you right between the butt cheeks.
I'm like, so this woman's fingering her butthole on a stream for an audience?
And then a dude walks in and is like, what are you doing?
That's the premise of the commercial, dude.
It's crazy.
All right, I did
just Google butt deodorant.
Alright.
And
a question on Reddit six years ago
under no stupid questions was
is there some sort of deodorant for the ass?
So maybe they're on to something.
Maybe there are people that need this.
There is so many butt deodorant brands.
Huh.
This is a whole thing that I was unaware of.
In fact, I'm looking at one on Amazon right now
that is straight up just like a normal underarm deodorant stick,
but it's for your butt.
I don't even know how you would operate that.
Like, you spread in cheek and then just like rubbing it in there also wouldn't that be weird i don't know it's it's uh
it's weird it's weird wouldn't you just you know like wash yourself i it just seems like the like
are you sweating that much again the premise was she's on a stream spreading cheek
putting on deodorant which nobody can smell it anyway through the stream right right what is
is it a brand deal she's doing a bit like what is why is she doing that is that's a great question
is that the content people tune in for i remember uh i heard some radio ad and they were just like so are you one
of those live streamers and i was like yes and they were like didn't think so not many people
are and i was like oh i was like this ad's not for me i just turned it off it's some ad for like
i don't even remember i think i legit tuned it out because i was like it really isn't for me
and i just remembered that part speaking of stuff that's not for me i don't even remember. I think I legit tuned it out. Because I was like, it really isn't for me. And I just remembered that part.
Speaking of stuff that's not for me, I don't know if someone put my phone number out there or my name or whatever.
But over the last week, I've been getting messages from people that are straight up just like,
Hey, do you want to work with a talented group of individuals from home?
Join Workforce or some random stuff.
And they keep sending me
messages and i'm like please please stop no stop and i keep trying to to message them back like
stop stop messaging me i don't care anymore and i i've gotten to the point where i've
lost my mind right um This one person messaged,
hey, how are you doing?
And because I don't know who this person is
and I assume it's just a, you know, like a scammer.
Right.
I go, hey girl, it's been so long.
And she goes,
I'm a recruitment officer for NetTemps.
We now offer full part-time jobs on web optimization,
a daily salary of up to 200
can be completed in 10 to 30 minutes a day can i send you the relevant information
and i was like oh damn i thought you were calling me back about our date we had planned
this is callie from tinder right and she's like no no i'm callie recruitment officer from net temps
now we're offering full part-time jobs not would you like to know more? I'm so confused. You told me
you wanted to go out tomorrow night.
You're Callie. And then I just sent her
phone number back to her. I'm like, yeah.
You said I'll text you tomorrow. And she's like,
can you screenshot that and send it to me?
I was like, are you playing with me? You told me
I had a nice smile and you couldn't
wait to see what other nice things I had.
We agreed to get drinks. And you said
you get a little crazy when you get drunk.
And I said I like crazy.
And you said bet.
And she goes, I think you're confused.
And I'm like, it is so not cool to play people like this.
Lying to people to get their info is so messed up, Callie.
She did not respond.
Yep.
I'm just so over everyone.
I'm just done.
I'm so tired of people's shit.
I'm tired of everyone trying to like scam when people scam me now, and they're like hello. Yes. Are you interested? I'm like stop scamming people don't be a bitch and I like message it back to them
I'm just so over it. I should at the point where it's not even allowed to market the people like over the phone
Like it's just the if somebody there's nothing that I would ever want to buy over the phone like it's just if somebody there's nothing that i would ever want to
buy over the phone or somebody calls you and goes do you know about this thing and you go you know
what i didn't but now i'm gonna purchase it like there's never anything that i've ever thought of
that i'd be like wow that needs to be marketed over the phone yeah i feel like this is we're
in that weird place remember how for a while there were door-to-door salesmen and then that stopped because people were like don't come around here anymore yeah i feel like the same
thing with phone they're gonna they're gonna keep trying and at first they would call and now they
don't call anymore because people hang up immediately right so now they send you text
messages and i block ever if if i don't know the phone number i just don't pick up ever and now if
i don't know if your name doesn't pop up and you text me, I just delete it.
I don't even look.
It could be like, Jesse, we need your help.
The president needs a cool dude with attitude.
And I'd be like, I don't even know those people.
I am not even, I don't care.
To be fair, do you have the attitude or are you just a cool dude?
I, you know, i'm starting to develop
the attitude it's it's here it's here yeah i can sense it i'm not as cool as this dude that was at
mcdonald's the other day so the other day i go uh to get gas and there's mcdonald's you know
attached to the gas station because why not and it's i don't know like 10 a.m so i'm like yo
they got those bagel sandwiches by the way if, if you're from the East Coast, congrats.
You've had McDonald's bagel sandwiches forever.
But on the West Coast, they have not had them.
I moved here 12 years ago, and there have been no bagel sandwiches at McDonald's since that time.
And now they're here.
So they have a steak, egg, and cheese bagel.
And I'm like, yo, that's the plan.
So I go put the thing in my gas, and I let that run.
And I go inside to get a steak, egg, and cheese bagel.
Walk in and I hear music that I thought was being played from like speakers.
Right.
But I realized there was a dude in the corner with his phone out loudly playing 90s rock.
And he was playing that Third Eye Blind song. It's like doot, and he was it's 10 a.m he is clearly drunk out of his mind
and he's like trying to sing the lyrics he's like Right?
And then he's looking at his sandwich.
I don't know what sandwich it was because he completely picked it apart
and was just playing with the mash in the container the sandwich came in.
He was rubbing it with his fingers.
I don't know what that sandwich was.
It was a breakfast sandwich of some sort, but he had mashed it down so much.
It was like looking like a paste with egg particles in it.
He was just like, he could have been on meth.
I don't know.
This guy was gone.
Was he looking to eat this sandwich or is he just like playing it?
He was the entire, cause I had, I put on my order and then I waited.
I was there for the entire third eye blind song.
So the entire song played, and he was just like,
I want something else.
He's like pushing in on the sandwich,
and I guess it was a biscuit at some point.
Again, it was like a white paste by the time.
He was mashing it with his fingers.
Staring at it, he looked, it was like a white paste by the time. He was mashing it with his fingers. Staring at
it. He looked
he didn't look like
a homeless dude or like a guy
who wasn't put together. He looked like a normal dude.
He just was gone.
You could see a blank stare
in his eyes. He was gone. I don't know
what he was on. He was
done. And so he's just
mashing away. Meanwhile, there's a line of people
no one acknowledges him no one even looks over like what's this guy's deal everyone just kind
of keeps themselves the staff of the mcdonald's are jamming along to the music which is why i
thought it was being broadcast in the mc. It was just this guy's thing.
And I was going to ask, is this guy here all the time?
Do you guys just like this?
What's going on?
And there's a girl who works at McDonald's,
and I guarantee she had no clue who this guy was, what was going on,
because she looked at me and she just gives me a a i don't i don't know i don't know
what this is and i was like this dude just came in today and just started drug jamming
drug jam i'm surprised he ordered the sandwich and then he would have to have the coherence to
order the sandwich well i mean you say that but he could have went up there and been like,
give me the bacon.
And they'd be like, I think he wants this one.
Maybe I just give it to him.
Yeah, just give it to him.
It was one of the goofiest things I've ever seen.
He was just gone.
Like, gone, gone.
And, yeah, everyone was just normal.
It's the most L.A. thing I've ever seen.
Actually, a lot of the U.S. is like that,
where someone could be totally insane,
and people are like, look, I got shit to do today.
I don't even need to worry about that.
But it's also the thing where you just don't want to get involved.
Because, I mean, if you look at him,
and then if you say something to him,
he might just start jamming out on you.
Yeah, he'll start talking to you and then he's got to deal with that.
Yeah.
It's true.
He'll be like, you want to join my band?
And you'll be like, what?
And he's like, take a seat.
He'd be like, guys, the band's out.
Yeah.
He'd be like, what?
To be fair, that's what some lead singers of bands actually sound like.
It's very Pearl Jam.
I was going to ask you, I also heard this on the radio.
They were having a debate about which is better, chicken wings that are boneless or bone in.
It depends.
Genuinely, if I'm at like a sporting event or if I'm hanging out with friends,
obviously bone-in is the way to go.
Bone-in just wins.
But if it's like 10 p.m. and I haven't had a damn thing to eat
and Wingstop is down the street,
I'm just going to get boneless wings and just munch on those bad boys.
That's pretty fair.
That's pretty good.
A lot of people, they'll be like, I want one or the other.
But you know what?
I think it depends on your mood.
You're right.
Yeah, I can do both.
It's a mood-based thing.
If I'm feeling like I got stuff to do and I want to do things, you got to have the bone in.
It's like a little, you get a little, and it's delicious.
But if you're just like, I'm a sloth man today, boneless is the way to go.
You use a fork and you're just like, oh, yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
To me, boneless wings are just like fancy chicken nuggets in a way.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And sometimes the problem is sometimes boneless wings are straight up just all bread and like a little sliver of
chicken you're like come on guys yeah that's usually the big problem yeah no that's trash
i would rather have bone in but again don't over sauce it i hate soggy. I hate soggy wings. I hate soggy wings.
They're so gross.
Yeah.
I hate,
honestly,
I hate over sauce to anything.
Facts.
Yes.
There's so many places where they just douse things in sauce.
And it's like,
I don't want to eat sauce.
I just want to eat like,
it's like that with any like salad dressing,
just like any,
they'll just put a bunch of sauce on.
I'm like,
I don't even want to eat this now.
Yeah. I, I am not a bunch of sauce on i'm like i don't even want to eat this now yeah i i am not a fan especially on sandwiches like i hate oversauce sandwiches and some now i don't know what happened before back in the day it was like put mayo on it or put mustard
or put ketchup and mustard or put you know an aioli now it's like all right the bottom bun is
is mustard the top bun is is, the top bun is mayo,
the in-between the burgers is ketchup, and you're like, this is too much.
Oh, so we put a cheese sauce. I'm like, guys,
I can't eat this. This is
too much. Yeah, it's too much.
The whole point is it's supposed to compliment.
There's no compliment in there. There's
dump and salsa.
Yeah, they'll tell you it compliments. And I'm
sure for a refined palate
it must. But I feel like if I'm getting a hamburger
For example, I want to taste the hamburger. I don't want to taste the ketchup and mustard. Yeah. Yeah, exactly
Well, that's the thing even it like the only good restaurants. They balance everything. It's all about the balance
Right, and if you're not balancing then something's off is it's wrong. I don't care if you like it
It's wrong. You don't care if you like it. It's wrong.
You heard the man.
Your opinion is invalidated.
But still, I think the main point is balance.
In order to get balance, you need to take time to, I think,
balance all the other crap like work and play and sleep and awake
and physical movement versus laying your ass down like you have to do
all this stuff before we can even think about food balance you know what i mean man yeah it's
it's just a lot of stuff plus money and then you know it's tough it's tough yeah but i mean
there's like that one year where the volcano erupted and the crops died you know like that was probably hard to balance
you're right yeah yeah there was a year of winter you're right it was rough it was the
the black plague year you know the big wars there's there's some rough ones like compared
to those that's not comparatively we are doing so much better yeah you're right yeah that's all
i'm saying but i mean at the same time you know
i think i probably enjoyed the balance of like 2010 a little more no inflation oh my god i saw
a guy's post today on uh reddit someone took it from twitter and it was one of those accounts
where it was clearly just like a dude bro who was like you ever think back to our paleolithic
brothers and how we all sat around the fire
and we just cooked meat
that we killed ourselves and we
told stories and talked about life and no one
had jobs. We just lived, man.
We just lived and munched on berries
and I was like, you would have been
dead at 16, bro.
Like, a tiger, a saber-toothed
tiger would have eaten you. Like, what are you talking about?
You drink, like, water that's that's like infected from the stream.
It's like some things died in it.
He would have died of dysentery.
Yeah.
Are you kidding me?
He's like, it was just such an easier time.
I was like, I don't know.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, no.
You could have picked any other time in history, but it was like, remember cavemen?
So much easier.
So much easier. Like, I don i don't know that's true dude i feel like we developed all the things we developed so life would be a lot easier than cavemen times
like we were like wow we can actually have time to paint something dude because we we aren't busy
fighting for our lives every day dude they're struggling back back in the 1880s. You think you're going to go back to
cavemen?
That's why some would be like,
there's so many natural things
that aren't good for you still.
There's plenty of things
that are not natural
that are great.
Like a fork's not natural.
It's still good to use.
Love forks. Big fan. But also chopsticks, great too.
Chopsticks are great.
It's almost like we're a tool-based ape species.
Almost.
Yeah, that's our entire thing is we just make tools.
That's how we're better than the other apes.
That's like, this whole week, I've also seen all the streamers fighting.
Which, you know, when aren't they?
Wait, what do you mean?
Why are streamers fighting because what you know when aren't they what do you mean why are
stream hold on why are streamers fighting this time there's a whole bunch of debate about if
streaming is difficult or not oh right i saw that and ignored it completely right that's the right
thing to do yeah yeah the thing was like okay i understand okay every like streaming youtube
i've done this shit for like 15 years
now all right it's got it's got its good and bad things like every job but would i rather do it
over anything else yeah all right i would easily do that but i there's so many jobs i would not
want to do where it's like people be like oh streaming drains you over you and it's like it
drains you but so does staying they get a counter from 9 to 5 going, hey, how's it going?
Welcome in.
Hey, how's it going?
Oh, hey, what's up?
Hey, how's it going?
Welcome in.
Time for my lunch break.
Oh, boy, back to do that.
Time to drive an hour and rush hour to get home.
Oh, look, I have three hours to do nothing.
Time to sleep and do it again.
Like, my God, I'd rather stream than do that.
I cannot stress.
Ignore streamers.
Just like, please,
as a person who had a real ass job,
many real jobs before streaming,
everyone out there
who actually holds down a real job
and isn't just like,
straight out of high school,
I started doing videos on the internet.
Like, ignore those people.
Yes, it's difficult.
But is it more difficult than fixing pipes or
putting shingles on a roof or educating kids or managing a starbucks or what no i would i 100
no it is not it you're literally living the dream it's hard but everything worth doing is hard and
if you want to be successful you put in the hours
and you stress over it and you get worried and you do all the things that people do but that's
life man that's a job and i think a lot of people in streaming forget that it's a job they're like
i get to do this and it's that's my hobby but i'm getting paid for it like no no no bro it's a job
now yeah and i think it's all right to like be like
oh it's stressful and like there's times there's months where you don't do as well like there's
plenty of stressful things about it but i would still take those stresses over any any other job
as i've said numerous times and i will still say if this all ended and i had to go back to teaching
i would walk into the ocean and let the tide take me. Yeah. I would rather let the ocean swallow me whole than go back to a job that like is so infinitely more soul sucking.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah.
There's that's why I saw everybody complaining.
I was just like, dude, have you guys forgot what it's like to like just be in the real world?
I think, dude, again, I don't think most of them have.
That's true, too.
I don't think that.
Because there's a cycle.
There was the people that started when we started, like 2010-ish.
Yeah.
And those people are now much older.
And many of them, I was talking, you were there when we were talking with Dodger and Sam.
When we were streaming, there's so many people that Dodger and Sam when we were streaming.
There's so many people that we know who have gone away.
Yeah.
They either quit because they were burnt out or they made an infinite fortune and were like, I don't have to do this anymore.
And they're gone.
Most of the people we know, gone.
And there's this new wave of people who started over COVID.
And they're young and they're just starting and they're hitting the stress point.
It's been three years, right?
Four years.
They're hitting the stress point.
And now they're like, it's so man, I'm so burned out in life and stuff.
I'm like, welcome.
Welcome to what this is.
And it's fine to complain. But if I made a video that was like, man, streaming is so hard and it's a lot of work and it's so stressful and my social battery is burnt.
And then you responded, yeah, but I work with the homeless and help them get into shelters.
I'd be like, okay, no, you're right.
No, you're correct.
Yeah.
No, there's plenty of other jobs.
Plus, listen, a lot of the people – I'm not going to, you're correct. Yeah. No, there's plenty of other jobs.
Plus, listen, a lot of the people... I'm not going to fight you on it.
A lot of the people that do, like, the streaming, they're like, ah, burn it.
They'll stream, like, 24-hour streams, 12-hour streams, seven days a week.
It's just, it's like, cut down.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
They, like, do it to themselves.
There's also some people that I hate when I know they're lying.
Like, for example, there's this exercise girl.
I'm not going to say her name.
All right.
Uh-huh.
And I was watching.
She was talking about like questions that people want me to say or whatever.
And she was like, are you rich?
And she's like, man, I wish I was rich.
And I was like, this girl's a millionaire.
Don't let anybody else be fooled.
All right. she had millions of
subscribers every video is getting like millions of views and she's like you know i'm not as rich
as some people and where i'd like to be i'm able to pay my bills i was like the way she worded it
i was like okay she has like five million not 20 million all Yeah. Like she's still a millionaire. Listen, she she was getting like 20 times the amount of views I got in my prime.
And I was like, I know how many views I got.
All right.
You're doing pretty well.
All right.
I can I can calculate the YouTube money.
I'm no fool.
Also, I know that the better you do, the more money you make per ad.
Oh yeah.
And then you so that halfway through and you're just like, and what really
helps is when I talk about
Audible. And you're like, oh,
man. So Audible paid you a ton
of money. Yeah.
It's one of those things that's always funny to me is
the weird thing that
there's only
two groups that infuriate
me online. The people that have
money and all they do is flaunt the money.
And the people that have money and are like, I'm not, I don't have a lot of money.
I'm really struggling.
It's like, bro, you definitely do.
Stop pretending.
Yeah.
Like, just own it.
I respect more people that just own it.
Like, yeah, you know what?
I made a bunch of money and I'm living life.
Just be like that.
It's definitely a weird thing.
I think the people that have money, I think, should give it to me.
And then they'll just make more.
And then I'll have money.
I thought you were about to say a really serious thing.
And you're just like, I think they should give me the money.
No, I got nothing serious to say.
I wish I had money.
Again, I would spend it on insane things.
I would have the most fun.
That's true.
I mean, listen, I'll still take money if people want to give it.
Right?
Right.
Yeah.
I will definitely take.
Speaking of which, we have a live show.
July 13th in Chicago.
Tickets quickly selling.
I imagine by this time next week they'll be sold out.
So just a heads up, it's the end of the month.
So you probably – or beginning of the month whenever you listen to this.
So you probably got paid.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
What if you gave that to us?
Listen, I'm not a millionaire. I got to pay for the car thing I just did what if you gave that to us listen i'm not a millionaire
i gotta pay for the car thing i just did with the dealership the other week all right okay
i need your help yeah uh i will say the other downside of like a youtube streaming thing even
though we did just talk about how easy it is it always feels like you do have to work
you know how like if you get out of a normal job, you'll just be like, hey, you know what?
Now I'm off. I can relax.
We don't really have that.
It's always like I could be doing something.
No, you're always working.
Yeah.
So that is, like, a downside.
But again, it's like, would I take that
over still doing the normal job?
Yeah.
Anytime.
I mean, again, the relative nature of work.
Work is, like, the definitive focal point of all this.
Yeah. Because work is the it's like the definitive focal point of all this yeah because work is
defined in our case as you know i played video games and talk some shit that's that's me working
was like guys i gotta work tonight i'm like who wants to pick a pokeball you go left mid right
all right we got charizard okay that's me like am i gonna do that over working in the coal mines yes
might do that over working at dick sporting goods yes Yes. Am I going to do that over working at Dick's Sporting Goods?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, I'm all right.
I'm totally fine.
I would gladly do it.
Like, I would sit here and edit a video or make a thumbnail or look at analytics and figure out, like, what I should be doing over any other job ever.
Except for Trust Fund Baby.
Oh, yeah.
A hundred percent.
I would do that. Yeah yeah i would be a trust
fund baby and that and you know what i'd end up doing youtube you just do what you're doing now
but you don't have to worry about it yeah which by the way we've said this before i'll say it again
most of your favorite youtubers streamers uh tiktokers whatever definite rich kids oh yeah
just put it out there no doubt Just saying what needs to be said.
Yeah, they are.
Not me, though.
Not either of us.
Yeah, no.
No.
No.
Not us.
I had to delay my top ten list about frogs in WoW for a week.
Think of the detriment of the youtube channel i put out so much content in
a week only because i'm like you know i got people to pay and i do not have the money so i gotta keep
making stuff uh which by the way i'm gonna be on chaluminati again you probably don't even know
mathis did say that you that that one of my favorite guests
was gonna be on and i immediately was like son of a bitch yeah it's uh i think it's next week's
episode actually oh how fun yeah so i literally was like hey if you if you ever want me to come
back i'd be down to come back again he's just like how about march 6th and i was like perfect
me to come back, I'd be down to come back again.
He's just like, how about March 6th? And I was like,
perfect. So yeah, I'll be back, ready to
add my talents to
the show.
I also see that you're on the schedule for
Geekenders in April, so that's also very
funny. I am. Dodger messaged me today.
She said, you want to come back on? I said, I sure
do.
I told you, I'm making my rounds. Gotta stay
right in the middle.
It's like my tour.
It's like when people go on the late night shows.
Back on Letterman.
Right, yeah.
Stay relevant.
That's you, alright.
Old relevant
Crendor.
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How's that traffic out there?
Oh, boy.
Traffic is actually not too bad.
Although there is some weather stuff
all over impacting it.
Also, we're recording this on a Wednesday
because, I mean,
you have to do your Final Fantasy thing.
So it's a weird day.
I'll be gone from the world
yeah yeah so uh it's a it's a different day than we normally do it back to you thanks crendor now
let's go over to the weather desk how's that weather weather by the way what is what exactly
is this final fan i see everybody and their brothers just like final fantasy final fantasy
here it comes and i don't know i didn't i don't play final fantasy so their brothers just like Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, here it comes. And I don't know.
I don't play Final Fantasy.
So I'm just like, what is it?
So Final Fantasy VII came out many, many years ago back in the 90s, in 1997.
Right.
And it was one of the most popular games they ever made.
And everyone loves it.
I think mostly because of Tifa's boobs.
I think.
And so what ended up happening is over the years, like back in the early 2000s They released a few other bonus games
Not good, as someone who's played all of them
Not great games
And then it kind of like went dark
And they released other Final Fantasies
You know like 9, 10, 11, all those different things
And then
Four years ago
Back whenever PS4 was still a thing
They had the re-release for Final Fantasy 7
remake, and everyone was losing their mind
because they announced there was going to be a three-game
trilogy that was a retelling
of the original game from 1997.
And so,
basically, it's everyone
nostalgic for
something they remember from their childhood, or
someone new who's falling in love with
the characters all over again.
It's that kind of thing.
And all the reviews are saying that
this, the second in the trilogy, is amazing,
and everyone's really excited.
Apparently, this one has the Golden Saucer,
which is famous for its plethora of minigames.
And so basically, it's Final Fantasy VII
plus, you know, ten or so minigames that all look awesome.
And so everyone's just excited because it's going to be one of those things that people are going to spend way too much time on.
Me, I'm going to play it on easy mode and plow through the story.
I have no time to be like, this is a challenge.
I got stuff I got to do.
So I'm just going to blow through it, and I'm very excited.
All right.
I see.
So it's like the final part of the remake
thing no it's part two of the remake oh and there's three parts yes and the part three they
said won't be out till 2028 so oh my god all right yeah um but the thing is is it's this part
has the potential for having a very there's a very important in the gaming universe moment
that happens in Final Fantasy VII
that kind of like scars every kid.
And that may or may not be happening in this one
because what they established in the last game
is that the story isn't the same as the first one.
Ah, I see.
There's like little tweaks and changes
and a major change that happens in the last game.
And so in this one,
everyone's like,
yo, is that moment that defined a generation gonna be
in this or they're gonna change it so there's a lot of factors as why it's everywhere but you
know it's just a big game it's just it's but truthfully it's 90% nostalgia 5% people being
horny for the characters and then the other 5% is people being like well the reviews are good
so I guess I gotta check it out that That's really what it is. I see.
Okay. If you're, I mean, if you're
streaming it, I'll pop in and take a look.
Yeah.
It's, uh, I'm worried because it's open
world. Oh, no. The first one was
kind of like you're in a town and you're on a track
and you just gotta do the things. This is open
world and I'm terrified it's gonna be like
80 hours and I don't know that I'm prepared
to commit that time. Yeah. I don't mind open world things sometimes. There's other times where it's
like, it's too much. Well, I don't mind them. The problem is, is every open world game I'll get
20 hours in and be like, yeah, I kind of got what I wanted from that. And then I'll stop playing.
People will lose their minds. And I'm like, I can't, if I put in another 80 hours, I'll miss
out on all these other games I want to check out too.
Yeah.
I don't have all the time in the world.
I got to make choices here.
Yeah.
And people are like, you never finished it.
I'm like, in my mind, I did.
Oh, that reminds me.
We were, you know, we were watching recently is Sailor Moon.
Okay.
The old one or the new release?
Yeah, like the old 1992 one or whatever nice
solid and main reason we watched it while we started watching is just because uh i was just
in like an old 90s mood and i was like i remember being a kid and going to buy pokemon cards they
had sailor moon stuff up everywhere and i was like sailor moon i don't know what that is and i And I was like, you know what? I still don't really know what it is. So we started watching it. I'm like, alright.
Now I know what it is, but I actually really like the art
because it gives me it's like a weird nostalgic city pop
vibe, you know what I mean? It has that like city pop art because it's made in like the same
time period. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sailor moon is
fine until like all anime and i mean this to anyone who's an anime fan if you say i'm lying
you're you're wrong it's the same as all anime and that by the end it gets absolutely insane
oh yeah i i imagine that does happen it gets so out there you're just like okay all right
yeah okay right now i'm just enjoying watching it just for the art and You're just like, okay, all right. Yeah.
Okay.
Right now I'm just enjoying watching it just for the art.
And I'm just like, it's pretty fun with like character design and stuff. But it will probably hit that point where I'm like, it's getting a little too crazy and I'm kind of tired of it.
But until then.
I seem to recall a little girl with pink hair and a gun at some point, which is insane to me.
I'll let you know once that happens. If it's a real memory that may be a movie i don't know i i
uh in college i dated a girl who was super into sailor moon and most anime so she made me watch
all the anime that was available at the time yeah thank again the only the only thing i actually
liked was cowboy bebop that seemed like a normal story so i was happy right and yeah I've been told it's barely an anime so that's cool
well today's weather
is for
let's see I'm going to hold this down
see where we land
and we have the weather uh oh it's
still going
uh oh when's it going to stop
hold on what if I just hit it
okay there we go it stopped for Oh, when's it gonna stop? Well, what if I just knows?
Okay, there we go. It stopped for drag. He da Ireland dro hug
Dro hug, duh, we're gonna get we're gonna get yelled at by Ireland again because we already got the guard. I came after us
Yeah, that's a treehoadah. Yep.
It looks like Drogheda.
Yeah, Drogheda.
Definitely not what it's pronounced.
Over in Drogheda, Ireland.
That's what my head feels like right now, Drogheda.
Drogheda.
It's 43 degrees in American units.
It feels like 36.
You got 81 on the humidity pressure 29.56 visibility
9 miles 7 14 a.m sunrise 601 p.m sunset winds at 13 miles an hour dew point 37 uv index zero
moon phase waning gibbous take a look at the 10 day uh you've got 46 thursday sun and clouds got some mix with some
overnight rain friday 42 with rain saturday 44 with showers sunday partly cloudy uh and then
monday 47 rain tuesday 51 rain wednesday 53 rain and it's pretty much just 50 degrees and rain every day from there on out.
To the people who are from, and do we have a pronunciation of this?
Did someone, who left this information?
Who wanted us to see this?
This is Fiona Kelly.
Fiona, first off, beautiful name.
Second off, what's the deal? What's going on?
You have a hotel called The D, which is amazing.
The D is the name of the hotel.
You have the KFC Retail Park, which seems insane.
The KFC Retail Park.
Is that like a theme park?
I don't know.
It says KFC Retail Park on here.
Oh, yeah.
I see the D. And then there's a pub way over here on what I assume is the county line.
The Morans of Morrington?
Moria?
Morans of Morrington.
The Mines of Moria?
You found it?
The Mines of Moria.
Morans of Morrington seems like a brand.
I don't know.
But this pub has a 4.8, and that's one of the highest things i've ever seen on this site ever yo okay there's i found the place hold on
is this gonna work all right here you go oh that'll work uh you sent me to the town god okay it's stupid google is it joe's takeaway it's joe's takeaway
yeah yeah joe's takeaway looks like uh traditional fish and chips irish fish and chips
yeah and i have no context for anything other than a menu there's nothing else on here. I just love how it's just some shack. It's got 4.4 out of
5, 236 reviews
and on the menu there's
something called buddies.
I don't know
what a buddy is. It says
curry or taco
something, mince
buddy or
butter or sauces
and Philly steak.
What is a buddy?
Oh, there's the Irish spice bag.
Is it a spice bag situation?
A chip buddy?
What is?
A chip buddy or a chip barm is a sandwich filled with chips.
That sounds right.
But it's like fry,
like the thick fried chips,
you know,
not like American,
like the crisps or whatever.
Mm-hmm.
So yeah,
it's like,
I guess,
but would they,
a Philly,
so they take like Philly steak
and then they put chips on it?
I guess.
I don't know.
I'm all,
I'm down the rabbit hole of...
Spice bag got me, dude.
A spice bag.
In my mind, I was like, okay, it looks like it's chips.
Chips in a bag, and they throw...
I don't know what this...
This is the first thing on Wikipedia.
All right.
A spice bag is a fast food dish popular in Ireland and inspired by Chinese cuisine.
What?
Mostly sold in Chinese takeaways in Ireland.
Typically, a spice bag consists of deep fried salt and chili chips.
Salt and chili chicken, red and green peppers, sliced chili peppers, fried onion, jalapeno, and a variety of spices.
I'm not going to lie.
I eat the shit out of this.
It does sound pretty good.
That sounds good as shit.
That sounds great.
Yeah, spice bag.
I've never had a spice bag before.
Should I just go?
I need to go to Ireland.
What am I doing?
I need the Sligo Gardai to come get me.
Take me on an adventure.
The old Sligo Gardai, get a spice bag. Then you'll an adventure. You'll Sligo guard that. I got a spice bag.
And then you'll be complete.
Looks great.
Have it with like a Guinness or something.
Or whatever.
They probably got some like super Guinness or something.
Like their own backyard Guinness.
This is crazy.
This is like a whole new language.
This is like when we discovered what food's called in Australia.
Okay. Oh, yeah, it is You give yourself a brekkie wrap
and a wristie.
And it's got Ghibli bops in it. You're like, what's a
Ghibli bop? And it's like, oh, it's got like 45
jiggles and a wibwab. And you're like, what?
And you're like, yeah.
I'm so
confused, but I'd eat all of it.
Yeah, it looks good.
You know what? Let's not even bring language into this.
You bring me the food and I
will eat it.
That's true. He will eat it.
I am a big fan. Sign me up.
Super Max
and Papa John's Drug Hedda.
So many Irish pubs.
Like pubs next to pubs
next to pubs.
This one's not a pub this is papa john's
oh okay well yeah i don't know what super max is what oh by the way question to our our lovely
irish folks what's the deal with emerald park is emerald park a cool place i'm looking at it
right now and it looks insane.
There's what appears to be a dolphin vomiting a terrifying tree.
How do I send this to you?
Emerald Park is, like, directly southwest of Drogheda,
or however you say that.
Uh.
And it is next to the Snail Box Restaurant Bar and Accommodation.
That's very nice of them.
Bar and Accommodation.
Emerald Park.
Emerald Park. Amusement rides.
And everything on here, there's like a giant yellow man.
I don't know who that guy is.
There's what appears to be some D&D characters made of stone,
a big man made of plants, a dinosaur for some reason,
a scary tree, vomiting dolphins, a tiger.
Wait, is this Fantasia?
No, this is Emerald Park.
Oh, Emerald Park. I found Funtasia
theme park.
How many theme parks?
I don't know.
Emerald Park's mascot is a giant
yellow-headed man, and I don't know who this is.
Should I know this person?
This one's for kids, but it looks
like somebody that made it was on
drugs.
Although this one says
Tato Park
Admissions. Who's Tato?
Like Po-Tato?
I mean, the man looks like a potato, so it's possible.
Boil him, mash him, stick him in a stew.
Yeah.
Yo, you can even get a potato,
one of those potato things that's cut in a swirl
and put on a stick there.
A tornado potato? Sure. that's what it says oh i see well that's the weather all right let's go to sports sports yes we got baseball starting up spring training's happening
uh get get ready for a lot of baseball pretty soon okay uh the nba currently we have the
celtics in first place in the eastern conference and the timberwolves in first in the west with
the thunder a half game behind and in hockey we got the florida panthers boston bruins tied
uh top of the atlantic. The Rangers atop the Metropolitan.
Winnipeg Jets and Dallas Stars tied atop the Central.
And the Canucks atop the Pacific.
And I forgot, the Olympics are actually happening this summer, right?
That is true.
In France, I think?
I believe so.
Olympics, summer, July 26th in Paris.
Yeah, it's in France.
Which means 2028 is LA, I think?
That sounds like it'll be terrible.
2028, yep.
They're already doing construction on stuff,
and it's like a little too much.
Yeah, that sounds...
A place that's already congested is going to get more...
It's going to end up being like my head.
Yep. Well, but... A place that's already congested is going to get more. It's going to end up being like my head.
Yep.
Well, but this summer will be fun.
Yes, as we can watch.
What are the Summer Olympic sports that are fun?
I usually just put on anything, and then I just chill out and fall asleep or something. I will listen to it at night for sure.
Yeah, it's definitely a night thing.
But yeah, there's some where, what is Summer Olympics?
Most of the Olympic sports that I think about, I think about are Winter Olympic sports.
Yeah.
There's the track stuff, and that's fine.
And there's...
Polo.
You know, basketball and soccer, football swimming's big uh yeah swimming swimming's
big but i never i'm never like a big swimming guy yeah wait tennis uh they got table tennis dude
the ping pong table tennis that gets pretty pretty crazy. That could be fun.
They got lacrosse. They got wrestling.
They got weightlifting.
I'll watch the weightlifting. That's always fun.
That's always crazy.
They got... Wait, they have trampoline?
The hell is that?
Oh, they have skateboarding?
Oh my god, do they have...
Wait, do they have chess this year?
They do have skateboarding.
Yo, I'm ready.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, that'll be good.
I don't see chess.
They got the canoe sprint.
They got judo.
What's that one?
Oh, fencing.
Oh, fencing's always pretty cool.
They got...
They got three-on-three basketball?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Three-on-three basketball.
That's where it's at.
Oh, man.
Yeah, freestyle basketball.
Oh, that'll be good.
Actually, yeah, I think I remember seeing that last year.
They have flag football, which is...
I can't believe that's a thing.
Yeah, I think that's new this year, just flag football.
Yo, do they have pickleball?
Oh, they got to have pickleball, right?
Oh, no, I don't see it.
Damn, pickleball is going to be there in LA.
They got cycling, they got BMX.
BMX freestyle? Yo!
Yeah, that's gonna be good.
I'm here for it. I'm here for that.
Yeah.
So, yeah, it'll be pretty fun. They got some pretty fun things.
Yeah, I always get upset because I see things like karate and judo and I'm like, oh, that'd be awesome.
And it's not ever as, like, taekwondo, it's not ever as cool as you think. It's literally like two dudes doing, like, three moves and it'm like oh that'd be awesome and it's not ever as like taekwondo it's not ever as cool as you think
it's literally like two dudes doing like three moves
it's like point and you're like what happened wait what do you
mean who had the point yeah I'm like what do you mean
yeah it's never as cool as like a
dude breaking another man
yeah like you step into the ring with me
and he like Cobra Kai's him
it doesn't happen yeah
that's
I think I golf I didn Wait, they got golf?
I didn't realize they had golf.
Yep.
Surfing could be fun.
Oh, yeah, surfing.
Rhythmic gymnastics is the one that everyone loves.
Ah, yeah.
Yo, they got beach volleyball.
Biathlon.
You know what?
Everyone loves...
All right, when I say everyone, I mean just perverts on the internet
love beach volleyball.
Boxing could be super fun.
Yeah, boxing.
Oh my god!
Breaking!
They have breakdancing?
They have breakdance.
That's the one to watch.
We need to do full coverage of the Paris 2024
breakdance competition. Alright, yeah, we need to do full coverage of the Paris 2024 breakdance competition. Alright, yeah.
We will be doing full coverage of the breaking.
I love the fact
that the description on their official
Olympics website is
From the streets of New York to the biggest stage
in sports, breaking, also known as
breakdancing, is an urban style
urban dance style that originated
in the Bronx borough of New York in 1970s.
It's a form of dance sport that blends urban dance with remarkable athleticism.
The best part is it says breaking athletes are referred to as B-boys, B-girls, or breakers.
The B standing for break.
What a great source of information.
Yeah, I know so much more now.
About the B-boys and the B-girls.
Yeah, the B-boys and the B-girls.
I am in.
That's worth covering.
That sounds amazing.
That is pretty great.
We will definitely be covering that 100%.
Yup.
And that's sports.
All right.
What is our fact of the day?
Fact of the day.
Day.
Day.
Rip.
Oh, that's a good one.
IKEA is an acronym
that stands for Ingvar
Kamprad Elmthjard
Ungjord,
which is the founder's name,
the farm where he grew up and his hometown.
That is a fact that we actually could use
in your life on a daily basis.
It actually is.
Although I haven't been to Ikea in a while.
That taught you something.
Yeah.
But now I might go just from hearing that fact.
You're just going to share it with the people who work there like guess what i found
out i wouldn't do that because they don't care uh so that's wait hold on i just found another
crazy one the hobbit has been published in two editions in the first edition gollum willingly
bet on his ring in the riddle game.
I think probably maybe the second edition was
what came first? I think
Hobbit came first and Lord of the Rings, right?
I believe so, yeah.
So the first edition probably he was like
well this is one story and he's gonna bet for this
silly ring and the ring is just
some nonsense. And then he was like
oh it's the most important thing in my entire
lore. And so he's like I gotta change it. Why would that guy give it like oh it's the most important thing in my entire lore and so
he's like i gotta change it why would that guy give it up if he if it's his precious
that's true maybe i know he's really in the world building so maybe you just
you just built it differently yeah i don't know i don't know either if you know comment below even
if even tolkien uh goes back and and changes his lore I guess I shouldn't be so hard on WoW.
Well, at least when he changes it, it becomes better.
And that's your fact of the day.
All right.
What's our big news story of the day?
Big news story of the day. Big news story of the day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Neil the Seal made quite the splash in late 2023 when social media all over the Australian New Zealand were catching sightings of him doing things that if he were a human may be considered crime.
What is, wait, whoa.
This is a serial offender seal?
Yes.
A serial offender?
Yes.
Once
the year ended, everybody was left
wondering if Neil the seal would turn over
a new leaf and stop being such a menace.
As of January 8th,
we know that Neil has no plans to change
his tune.
I've been watching neil the seal pretty closely since i found out he existed i think he's hilarious i think at your get tireous gals might be the favorite the cone has a don't pet the seal sign
right on it it's almost like like Neil is mocking us humans.
Neil is a northern elephant seal who rose to internet fame when people around Australia started to notice that he was turning up and being a total drama king.
He's been seen laying in roads, blocking the path, trying to break into cars, and just generally intimidating locals.
As far as we know, Neil hasn't hurt anybody or caused damage to anything.
Otherwise, he would likely be relocated.
Now he's battling with a traffic cone,
which I think is hilarious.
Neil is not the only seal who makes his way on the land.
Every seal comes to the water,
or comes out of the water to bask.
Though they were warm-blooded,
it's nice to be warm every once in a while.
Getting out of the water prevents them from suffocating, too.
They're air-breathers, and without surfacing, they could drown.
Hypothetically, a seal could survive on land forever
as long as it was kept wet enough.
Main problem with that, as we see in the video,
would be that they're not exactly the most fluid movers.
On land, they inch across the ground.
They're just too big, and they have no leg.
In water, they can glide.
Neil the Seal is not currently dangerous.
As annoying as it is.
Well, first off, I'm glad they understand that.
Second off, Neil the Seal,
what's going on in Australia
that you have one seal
that's like, that's the guy, that's Neil.
Or is this like
the legend of Hank the Tank, where it could be
multiple tanks? That's true where it could be multiple tanks?
That's true.
This could be multiple seals.
But I feel like they keep finding Neil.
There's got to be something about Neil.
What do you mean?
Yeah, like how do they keep finding Neil?
And does Neil make his way up and down the coast?
What's going on with Neil?
Yeah, I don't know.
It looks like he's on TikTok.
There's one of him on TikTok.
He's all over Tasmania.
Neil the Seal does, in fact, have his own TikTok account.
Yes.
He's a big seal.
Yep.
And he loves messing with cones.
Maybe he just hates them.
But there's also different shots. And sometimes it looks like a different guy.
Maybe it is.
Yeah, hold on.
Yeah, how do they know it's him?
He does look kind of different in some of these.
Like one of them looks like a baby seal, and one of them looks like a big seal, and one of them looks like a seal seal And one of them looks like a big seal
And one of them looks like a seal that has like discoloration in his face
And one looks like he's got a big old hump
Yeah one looks more gray
One looks more brown
Maybe he's just not wet enough
Maybe
Yeah maybe
I don't know
Although it looks like he's got the marking there.
Although, it looks like he's got a little ding on his head or something.
Okay, that one is not Neil DeSeal.
That one, he's got the marking.
That one, he doesn't.
This one is...
That's his kid.
That's his kid, Phil DeSeal.
Ah, yeah, it's got to be Phil DeSeal.
Yeah. Easy mix-up it's yeah there's one of him knocking that i think this is kind of like hank the tank where people
just keep thinking it's the same seal and it's just a pack yeah but that's fine because you
can never catch the real one yeah there's always a neil the sealale. Yeah, that's like V for Vendetta. At the end, everyone has the mask on.
We all were V, dude.
Yeah.
I am Spartacus.
So now we know that Hank the Tank and Neil DeSeale are out there.
One's coming in from the water, one's in the woods.
We just need like a bird now.
Right. ones you know coming in from the water ones in the woods we just need like a bird now right like oh boy
I got nothing that rhymes with eagle
how about
beagle the eagle
I was thinking beagle but I was like that's a dog
you can't do beagle the eagle
that's what would be funny because you think it's a dog
but it's an eagle
I'm looking at the names I can't even come up with anything That's going to be funny because you think it's a dog, but it's an eagle.
I'm looking at the names.
I can't even come up with anything. It's tough.
Yeah.
Like, what do you rhyme with?
Chicken.
Or owl.
Licking the chicken.
No, dude.
No.
Owl.
How about owl?
Owl?
Get out of here.
That sucks, and I love it.
I love it.
That's old Al the Owl.
That's Al the Owl.
Yep.
This has got to be one bird that has a name.
Crane?
Falcon?
Crow?
Moe the Crow?
Moe the Crow, that's it.
Moe the Crow, you got it. Moe the Crow, you got it.
That's the one.
You got to watch out for Neil the Seal, Hank the Tank, and Moe the Crow.
But Hank the Tank doesn't even matter, really.
Hank the Tank destroys it.
Because he's not a tank, he's a bear.
Yeah.
There is actually a Moe the Crow that's like a character from a comic book.
I just Googled it. Also, don't look up who mo the crow actually is now that i see it it is unpleasant yeah unpleasant now we can't even
use mo the crow anymore now we can't use more the crow he goes to prison for bad reasons i don't
want to have to explain it so all right no mo. No, Moe, the crow's done.
He's gone.
He's gone.
We're going with,
uh,
Deagle,
Deagle,
Beagle,
Eagle,
Eagle,
Eagle.
Yeah,
that's it.
That's the one.
Well,
and if you tell us that's even worse than Moe, the crow birds are out.
Yep.
They're out.
We'll find something else.
Uh,
and that's your new story of the day all right well
that's it for us thanks so much for listening or watching or ever joining this podcast grand
door item of the socials we've got socials also beagle the eagle is just a bunch of dogs with an
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We'll see you all next time. And as always,
To be continued