Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 417 - Neal the Seal

Episode Date: March 3, 2024

The boys are back and this time our good boy Crendor is recovering from a cold, even though he eats so much yogurt! Meanwhile Jesse is obsessed with a new commercial for butt crack cream. Yes, you rea...d that and I wrote that. Also Australia brings us our newest animal super hero as well as many questions. All this plus so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor for 20% off and free shipping. Go to http://factormeals.com/cox50 and use code cox50 to get 50% off. Come see Cox n' Crendor Live! https://t.co/EeWQDuVDe1

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies that I have on me. Also today we're brought to you by Factor. Factor, gonna deliver those good meals right to your home. Let's jump to this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4 hour and 40 studio. Recorded. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Grendar in the morning. Ugh.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Why, why, ugh? I've been sick this last week. That's what I hear about you. How'd you get sick? What happened to you? Usually you're the guy who's like, I'm immune for I eat yogurt. I actually haven't had a cold, like a normal cold in like five or six
Starting point is 00:00:58 years. Well, that's what you get for kissing all those strangers lately. Well, here's what happened, alright? Okay, yeah. So, uh, like a week you get for kissing all those strangers lately well here's what happened all right okay yeah so uh like a week ago i thought i was getting allergies because i had the post nasal drip right it was like in the back of my throat but it wasn't like a sore throat it was just the old post nasal right sure right after the nasal yeah of course yeah yeah we discussed this recently yeah we did a whole bit yes we've done this before this before. Yes. So I was like, all right, well, I had my like annual physical in like the day after this.
Starting point is 00:01:29 So I was like, oh, let's ask my doctor. So I went to my doctor appointment and he was just like, how are you doing? And I'm like, I got the post nasal. And then he was like, uh, do you have any other symptoms? I'm like, I mean, not really. just, you know, the old post name, but then I was starting to lose my voice, and I'm like, I'm losing my voice a little bit, then he's like, let's do a COVID flu test, and I was like, all right, so I got that done, and that was negative, so he's like, all right, well, you might just have a viral thing,
Starting point is 00:01:59 or it's allergies, turns out, it's a viral cold, But I also had my blood work done. Triglycerides are doing great. Magnesium's good. Wow, you've got minerals in you and stuff? Yeah, we all do. Yeah, you're basically a mountain. So yeah, then a day or two after that, I started coughing a bit more. It was getting a little more runny. I started coughing a bit more.
Starting point is 00:02:25 I was getting a little more runny. I started feeling a little more achy. I was like, there it is. Just to be sure, I did another old COVID test. That was negative. I was like,
Starting point is 00:02:35 I guess it is just a normal cold. It was crazy. I haven't had one of those in forever. I was like, all right. I was chilled. I tried to not do much. I streamed one night. I streamed for like an hour. Then I was like, all right. So I was chilled and, you know, tried to not do much. I streamed one night and I streamed for like an hour.
Starting point is 00:02:48 And then I was like, all right, that is it. And then I became congested and, you know, a lot of a lot of nose blowing. So now it's been it's been about seven, eight days. So I'm at the point where like I'm feeling better But I still have the congestion and I have the the post cold kind of like bronchitis cough you know I mean where you start just like I I know what you mean that cold that cold cough that kind of lasts a little longer the linger cough Yeah, yeah, that sucks. I um It's got a little bit of like, to it, you know,
Starting point is 00:03:25 where you're just in flame. Yeah, no, that sucks. That's not good. I will say that this past week, I did wonder where you were. Now, I'm not going to reach out. I just noticed you vanished for a while and I was like, I'm sure he's fine.
Starting point is 00:03:41 You'll be fine. Yeah, I mean, I was. Occasionally, I'd ask Dr. John. It's like, Dr. John, is this cough normal? And he's like, you're fine. I was like, all right. He's my residential insurance, mental insurance. I don't, I feel like he should be charging you at this point.
Starting point is 00:04:04 He probably should be yeah he really he really is giving you a lot of professional advice great content to listen to great with asterisks yeah and uh yeah yeah you know I'm at least able to like do my normal things now it's just like I can't smell and taste things very well and i'm congested and i sound like a muppet but you know i kind of sound like a muppet anyway so i was about to say that's no different than any other time yeah but i at least feel better now which is nice except for the coffee yeah you sound like a you're you're happy go lucky crendor self yeah that wasn't me a few days ago. A few days ago, I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:47 bleh, bleh, and then I would do NyQuil. Man, NyQuil's great. Take that, you just pass out, wake up like seven hours later, and you're just like, whoa. Can I ask you a question? What?
Starting point is 00:05:01 And I feel like this is true. When you cough or sneeze, do you go, woo, like that? Is that a thing you you go like that is that a thing you do because it seems like a thing you do what you when and whatever you cough or sneeze i'm imagining you go like that i do not know i disagree i need toast to come in on this one because i feel like you make a noise after you cough i do not after. After I sneeze, I go like, wah. All right, see? See? So you make a noise after you sneeze for sure.
Starting point is 00:05:30 But if you cough, you do like a cool, like you do like a cool down noise. No, when I cough, I'm just like, that's my cough. I just sound like a dog. You don't do that? No, that sounds like you do that. I don't know. You used to be making noises there no see the the issue with that is that's an additional noise added to the strain on my body if you put in that additional noise something's getting pulled okay in fact i strained my ribs
Starting point is 00:05:57 pretty much the other day i was just like coffee fit yeah i was I was just like oh my God So I don't like lay down. I'd like like brace myself when I'd cough and just be like That's fun Yeah, I mean I know aside from that It's just a matter of waiting it out And then if you go on the internet some people are just like oh you have to do that Don't listen to people on the internet. That's I mean that's the best advice you could get from two people on the internet don't listen to us yeah yeah it's uh because they used to be like giving antibiotics out for bronchitis and stuff and then it turns out most of it's just viral so you're just taking antibiotics blowing up your the your your gut
Starting point is 00:06:39 bacteria you didn't even have to gotta kill that gut bacteria bro yeah so well you don't you don't wanna kill that gut bacteria you can't have freeloaders living inside you unless they paying rent get them out that's true they better be paying rent I got bills to pay the good bacteria pay their rent by keeping me healthy
Starting point is 00:07:00 the bad bacteria that's where it's like get out of here dude get out of here dude we ain't gonna leave unless you send osmosis jones to get us didn't you have a cold like a month ago or something uh yeah but i'm doing good also it's because i haven't done anything insanely stupid like get coughed at in the face by random people oh yeah wasn't it like you went to a con or something then you get it from there yeah the face by random people. Oh, yeah. Wasn't it like you went to a con or something? Then you get it from there. Yeah, literally like a random dude turned and coughed right in my face.
Starting point is 00:07:29 It's like, I'm getting sick. I know it. I know it. And I did. I knew it. And I was so careful. I was doing the hand thing. I was not spending a lot of time in crowded places.
Starting point is 00:07:41 And, of course, I got sick. Yeah. Because people are inconsiderate assholes. Welcome to the world. They really are um people suck dude they really do uh let's see speaking of which this has nothing to do with that but i did write this down so when i was watching tv while being sick just being like oh uh they had on the infomercials at night right and one of the infomercials well not even it was just a commercial uh for like a discreet packaged p box all right now they're not sending you a box whoa all right all right yeah i was about to say
Starting point is 00:08:22 what do you mean by p box no so it is this product and it's like are you old can you not hold your urine in very well get this thing and it like soaks the urine up when you're sleeping or something all right that's like all it was you don't like pee yourself so they're like well i don't want to buy this because uh somebody might see me and they're like we'll send it in discreet packaging. And I was like, isn't everything pretty much sent in discreet packaging now? And it made me think of them just like sending this box to somebody that just says like, big pee's the bed loser.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Just like, this box contains product for a loser that pees their bed. Do not look at this box. And everyone's like, hey, everybody a loser that pees their bed. Do not look at this box. And everyone's like, hey, everybody, that guy pees the bed. And then they're like, oh, geez. Like, of course, it's going to be discreet packaging. I don't know what they're doing. This is weird because I'm on the same wavelength as you on the radio lately. And this might just be an L.A. thing.
Starting point is 00:09:21 It seems very L.A. But on the radio, there's a commercial. The commercial opens up with all you gotta do is put a little dab on my butt crack. And then someone goes, what are you doing? And the woman's like, oh, I'm doing a stream showing my
Starting point is 00:09:36 followers. And I'm like, time out. What? Whoa. She's like, I'm showing my followers about this new deodorant. Dude, there is a butt hole deodorant. What the shit? She's like, take a showing my followers About this new deodorant Dude, there is a butthole deodorant What the shit? She's like, take a little dab, rub it between your butt cheeks And he's like, can you say butt cheeks?
Starting point is 00:09:52 She's like, what else would I say? It's your butt cheeks, rub it between your butt cheeks And it'll make your butt smell nice And I'm like, what is happening right now? And it plays all the time, dude It's crazy And the guy's like, that's great she's like you can use it other places too like wait so is it just a deodorant but they're really just like
Starting point is 00:10:12 put it on your butt like you know for your stanky butt how bad your butt got a stank you need deodorant for your butt well if you if you need butt deodorant you got some other issues right that's not good and the commercial is just like yeah this deodorant. You got some other issues. Right? That's not good. And the commercial's just like, yeah, this deodorant's great. Just a little dab will do you right between the butt cheeks. I'm like, so this woman's fingering her butthole on a stream for an audience? And then a dude walks in and is like, what are you doing? That's the premise of the commercial, dude. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:10:44 All right, I did just Google butt deodorant. Alright. And a question on Reddit six years ago under no stupid questions was is there some sort of deodorant for the ass? So maybe they're on to something.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Maybe there are people that need this. There is so many butt deodorant brands. Huh. This is a whole thing that I was unaware of. In fact, I'm looking at one on Amazon right now that is straight up just like a normal underarm deodorant stick, but it's for your butt. I don't even know how you would operate that.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Like, you spread in cheek and then just like rubbing it in there also wouldn't that be weird i don't know it's it's uh it's weird it's weird wouldn't you just you know like wash yourself i it just seems like the like are you sweating that much again the premise was she's on a stream spreading cheek putting on deodorant which nobody can smell it anyway through the stream right right what is is it a brand deal she's doing a bit like what is why is she doing that is that's a great question is that the content people tune in for i remember uh i heard some radio ad and they were just like so are you one of those live streamers and i was like yes and they were like didn't think so not many people are and i was like oh i was like this ad's not for me i just turned it off it's some ad for like
Starting point is 00:12:20 i don't even remember i think i legit tuned it out because i was like it really isn't for me and i just remembered that part speaking of stuff that's not for me i don't even remember. I think I legit tuned it out. Because I was like, it really isn't for me. And I just remembered that part. Speaking of stuff that's not for me, I don't know if someone put my phone number out there or my name or whatever. But over the last week, I've been getting messages from people that are straight up just like, Hey, do you want to work with a talented group of individuals from home? Join Workforce or some random stuff. And they keep sending me messages and i'm like please please stop no stop and i keep trying to to message them back like
Starting point is 00:12:52 stop stop messaging me i don't care anymore and i i've gotten to the point where i've lost my mind right um This one person messaged, hey, how are you doing? And because I don't know who this person is and I assume it's just a, you know, like a scammer. Right. I go, hey girl, it's been so long. And she goes,
Starting point is 00:13:17 I'm a recruitment officer for NetTemps. We now offer full part-time jobs on web optimization, a daily salary of up to 200 can be completed in 10 to 30 minutes a day can i send you the relevant information and i was like oh damn i thought you were calling me back about our date we had planned this is callie from tinder right and she's like no no i'm callie recruitment officer from net temps now we're offering full part-time jobs not would you like to know more? I'm so confused. You told me you wanted to go out tomorrow night.
Starting point is 00:13:48 You're Callie. And then I just sent her phone number back to her. I'm like, yeah. You said I'll text you tomorrow. And she's like, can you screenshot that and send it to me? I was like, are you playing with me? You told me I had a nice smile and you couldn't wait to see what other nice things I had. We agreed to get drinks. And you said
Starting point is 00:14:03 you get a little crazy when you get drunk. And I said I like crazy. And you said bet. And she goes, I think you're confused. And I'm like, it is so not cool to play people like this. Lying to people to get their info is so messed up, Callie. She did not respond. Yep.
Starting point is 00:14:20 I'm just so over everyone. I'm just done. I'm so tired of people's shit. I'm tired of everyone trying to like scam when people scam me now, and they're like hello. Yes. Are you interested? I'm like stop scamming people don't be a bitch and I like message it back to them I'm just so over it. I should at the point where it's not even allowed to market the people like over the phone Like it's just the if somebody there's nothing that I would ever want to buy over the phone like it's just if somebody there's nothing that i would ever want to buy over the phone or somebody calls you and goes do you know about this thing and you go you know what i didn't but now i'm gonna purchase it like there's never anything that i've ever thought of
Starting point is 00:14:56 that i'd be like wow that needs to be marketed over the phone yeah i feel like this is we're in that weird place remember how for a while there were door-to-door salesmen and then that stopped because people were like don't come around here anymore yeah i feel like the same thing with phone they're gonna they're gonna keep trying and at first they would call and now they don't call anymore because people hang up immediately right so now they send you text messages and i block ever if if i don't know the phone number i just don't pick up ever and now if i don't know if your name doesn't pop up and you text me, I just delete it. I don't even look. It could be like, Jesse, we need your help.
Starting point is 00:15:29 The president needs a cool dude with attitude. And I'd be like, I don't even know those people. I am not even, I don't care. To be fair, do you have the attitude or are you just a cool dude? I, you know, i'm starting to develop the attitude it's it's here it's here yeah i can sense it i'm not as cool as this dude that was at mcdonald's the other day so the other day i go uh to get gas and there's mcdonald's you know attached to the gas station because why not and it's i don't know like 10 a.m so i'm like yo
Starting point is 00:16:00 they got those bagel sandwiches by the way if, if you're from the East Coast, congrats. You've had McDonald's bagel sandwiches forever. But on the West Coast, they have not had them. I moved here 12 years ago, and there have been no bagel sandwiches at McDonald's since that time. And now they're here. So they have a steak, egg, and cheese bagel. And I'm like, yo, that's the plan. So I go put the thing in my gas, and I let that run.
Starting point is 00:16:27 And I go inside to get a steak, egg, and cheese bagel. Walk in and I hear music that I thought was being played from like speakers. Right. But I realized there was a dude in the corner with his phone out loudly playing 90s rock. And he was playing that Third Eye Blind song. It's like doot, and he was it's 10 a.m he is clearly drunk out of his mind and he's like trying to sing the lyrics he's like Right? And then he's looking at his sandwich. I don't know what sandwich it was because he completely picked it apart
Starting point is 00:17:14 and was just playing with the mash in the container the sandwich came in. He was rubbing it with his fingers. I don't know what that sandwich was. It was a breakfast sandwich of some sort, but he had mashed it down so much. It was like looking like a paste with egg particles in it. He was just like, he could have been on meth. I don't know. This guy was gone.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Was he looking to eat this sandwich or is he just like playing it? He was the entire, cause I had, I put on my order and then I waited. I was there for the entire third eye blind song. So the entire song played, and he was just like, I want something else. He's like pushing in on the sandwich, and I guess it was a biscuit at some point. Again, it was like a white paste by the time.
Starting point is 00:18:02 He was mashing it with his fingers. Staring at it, he looked, it was like a white paste by the time. He was mashing it with his fingers. Staring at it. He looked he didn't look like a homeless dude or like a guy who wasn't put together. He looked like a normal dude. He just was gone. You could see a blank stare
Starting point is 00:18:18 in his eyes. He was gone. I don't know what he was on. He was done. And so he's just mashing away. Meanwhile, there's a line of people no one acknowledges him no one even looks over like what's this guy's deal everyone just kind of keeps themselves the staff of the mcdonald's are jamming along to the music which is why i thought it was being broadcast in the mc. It was just this guy's thing. And I was going to ask, is this guy here all the time?
Starting point is 00:18:50 Do you guys just like this? What's going on? And there's a girl who works at McDonald's, and I guarantee she had no clue who this guy was, what was going on, because she looked at me and she just gives me a a i don't i don't know i don't know what this is and i was like this dude just came in today and just started drug jamming drug jam i'm surprised he ordered the sandwich and then he would have to have the coherence to order the sandwich well i mean you say that but he could have went up there and been like,
Starting point is 00:19:30 give me the bacon. And they'd be like, I think he wants this one. Maybe I just give it to him. Yeah, just give it to him. It was one of the goofiest things I've ever seen. He was just gone. Like, gone, gone. And, yeah, everyone was just normal.
Starting point is 00:19:51 It's the most L.A. thing I've ever seen. Actually, a lot of the U.S. is like that, where someone could be totally insane, and people are like, look, I got shit to do today. I don't even need to worry about that. But it's also the thing where you just don't want to get involved. Because, I mean, if you look at him, and then if you say something to him,
Starting point is 00:20:07 he might just start jamming out on you. Yeah, he'll start talking to you and then he's got to deal with that. Yeah. It's true. He'll be like, you want to join my band? And you'll be like, what? And he's like, take a seat. He'd be like, guys, the band's out.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Yeah. He'd be like, what? To be fair, that's what some lead singers of bands actually sound like. It's very Pearl Jam. I was going to ask you, I also heard this on the radio. They were having a debate about which is better, chicken wings that are boneless or bone in. It depends. Genuinely, if I'm at like a sporting event or if I'm hanging out with friends,
Starting point is 00:20:51 obviously bone-in is the way to go. Bone-in just wins. But if it's like 10 p.m. and I haven't had a damn thing to eat and Wingstop is down the street, I'm just going to get boneless wings and just munch on those bad boys. That's pretty fair. That's pretty good. A lot of people, they'll be like, I want one or the other.
Starting point is 00:21:13 But you know what? I think it depends on your mood. You're right. Yeah, I can do both. It's a mood-based thing. If I'm feeling like I got stuff to do and I want to do things, you got to have the bone in. It's like a little, you get a little, and it's delicious. But if you're just like, I'm a sloth man today, boneless is the way to go.
Starting point is 00:21:33 You use a fork and you're just like, oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. To me, boneless wings are just like fancy chicken nuggets in a way. Absolutely. Absolutely. And sometimes the problem is sometimes boneless wings are straight up just all bread and like a little sliver of chicken you're like come on guys yeah that's usually the big problem yeah no that's trash i would rather have bone in but again don't over sauce it i hate soggy. I hate soggy wings. I hate soggy wings.
Starting point is 00:22:05 They're so gross. Yeah. I hate, honestly, I hate over sauce to anything. Facts. Yes. There's so many places where they just douse things in sauce.
Starting point is 00:22:14 And it's like, I don't want to eat sauce. I just want to eat like, it's like that with any like salad dressing, just like any, they'll just put a bunch of sauce on. I'm like, I don't even want to eat this now.
Starting point is 00:22:32 Yeah. I, I am not a bunch of sauce on i'm like i don't even want to eat this now yeah i i am not a fan especially on sandwiches like i hate oversauce sandwiches and some now i don't know what happened before back in the day it was like put mayo on it or put mustard or put ketchup and mustard or put you know an aioli now it's like all right the bottom bun is is mustard the top bun is is, the top bun is mayo, the in-between the burgers is ketchup, and you're like, this is too much. Oh, so we put a cheese sauce. I'm like, guys, I can't eat this. This is too much. Yeah, it's too much. The whole point is it's supposed to compliment.
Starting point is 00:22:56 There's no compliment in there. There's dump and salsa. Yeah, they'll tell you it compliments. And I'm sure for a refined palate it must. But I feel like if I'm getting a hamburger For example, I want to taste the hamburger. I don't want to taste the ketchup and mustard. Yeah. Yeah, exactly Well, that's the thing even it like the only good restaurants. They balance everything. It's all about the balance Right, and if you're not balancing then something's off is it's wrong. I don't care if you like it
Starting point is 00:23:24 It's wrong. You don't care if you like it. It's wrong. You heard the man. Your opinion is invalidated. But still, I think the main point is balance. In order to get balance, you need to take time to, I think, balance all the other crap like work and play and sleep and awake and physical movement versus laying your ass down like you have to do all this stuff before we can even think about food balance you know what i mean man yeah it's
Starting point is 00:23:51 it's just a lot of stuff plus money and then you know it's tough it's tough yeah but i mean there's like that one year where the volcano erupted and the crops died you know like that was probably hard to balance you're right yeah yeah there was a year of winter you're right it was rough it was the the black plague year you know the big wars there's there's some rough ones like compared to those that's not comparatively we are doing so much better yeah you're right yeah that's all i'm saying but i mean at the same time you know i think i probably enjoyed the balance of like 2010 a little more no inflation oh my god i saw a guy's post today on uh reddit someone took it from twitter and it was one of those accounts
Starting point is 00:24:37 where it was clearly just like a dude bro who was like you ever think back to our paleolithic brothers and how we all sat around the fire and we just cooked meat that we killed ourselves and we told stories and talked about life and no one had jobs. We just lived, man. We just lived and munched on berries and I was like, you would have been
Starting point is 00:24:57 dead at 16, bro. Like, a tiger, a saber-toothed tiger would have eaten you. Like, what are you talking about? You drink, like, water that's that's like infected from the stream. It's like some things died in it. He would have died of dysentery. Yeah. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:25:13 He's like, it was just such an easier time. I was like, I don't know. I don't know about that. Yeah, no. You could have picked any other time in history, but it was like, remember cavemen? So much easier. So much easier. Like, I don i don't know that's true dude i feel like we developed all the things we developed so life would be a lot easier than cavemen times like we were like wow we can actually have time to paint something dude because we we aren't busy
Starting point is 00:25:39 fighting for our lives every day dude they're struggling back back in the 1880s. You think you're going to go back to cavemen? That's why some would be like, there's so many natural things that aren't good for you still. There's plenty of things that are not natural that are great.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Like a fork's not natural. It's still good to use. Love forks. Big fan. But also chopsticks, great too. Chopsticks are great. It's almost like we're a tool-based ape species. Almost. Yeah, that's our entire thing is we just make tools. That's how we're better than the other apes.
Starting point is 00:26:17 That's like, this whole week, I've also seen all the streamers fighting. Which, you know, when aren't they? Wait, what do you mean? Why are streamers fighting because what you know when aren't they what do you mean why are stream hold on why are streamers fighting this time there's a whole bunch of debate about if streaming is difficult or not oh right i saw that and ignored it completely right that's the right thing to do yeah yeah the thing was like okay i understand okay every like streaming youtube i've done this shit for like 15 years
Starting point is 00:26:46 now all right it's got it's got its good and bad things like every job but would i rather do it over anything else yeah all right i would easily do that but i there's so many jobs i would not want to do where it's like people be like oh streaming drains you over you and it's like it drains you but so does staying they get a counter from 9 to 5 going, hey, how's it going? Welcome in. Hey, how's it going? Oh, hey, what's up? Hey, how's it going?
Starting point is 00:27:11 Welcome in. Time for my lunch break. Oh, boy, back to do that. Time to drive an hour and rush hour to get home. Oh, look, I have three hours to do nothing. Time to sleep and do it again. Like, my God, I'd rather stream than do that. I cannot stress.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Ignore streamers. Just like, please, as a person who had a real ass job, many real jobs before streaming, everyone out there who actually holds down a real job and isn't just like, straight out of high school,
Starting point is 00:27:37 I started doing videos on the internet. Like, ignore those people. Yes, it's difficult. But is it more difficult than fixing pipes or putting shingles on a roof or educating kids or managing a starbucks or what no i would i 100 no it is not it you're literally living the dream it's hard but everything worth doing is hard and if you want to be successful you put in the hours and you stress over it and you get worried and you do all the things that people do but that's
Starting point is 00:28:11 life man that's a job and i think a lot of people in streaming forget that it's a job they're like i get to do this and it's that's my hobby but i'm getting paid for it like no no no bro it's a job now yeah and i think it's all right to like be like oh it's stressful and like there's times there's months where you don't do as well like there's plenty of stressful things about it but i would still take those stresses over any any other job as i've said numerous times and i will still say if this all ended and i had to go back to teaching i would walk into the ocean and let the tide take me. Yeah. I would rather let the ocean swallow me whole than go back to a job that like is so infinitely more soul sucking. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:28:54 Yeah. There's that's why I saw everybody complaining. I was just like, dude, have you guys forgot what it's like to like just be in the real world? I think, dude, again, I don't think most of them have. That's true, too. I don't think that. Because there's a cycle. There was the people that started when we started, like 2010-ish.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Yeah. And those people are now much older. And many of them, I was talking, you were there when we were talking with Dodger and Sam. When we were streaming, there's so many people that Dodger and Sam when we were streaming. There's so many people that we know who have gone away. Yeah. They either quit because they were burnt out or they made an infinite fortune and were like, I don't have to do this anymore. And they're gone.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Most of the people we know, gone. And there's this new wave of people who started over COVID. And they're young and they're just starting and they're hitting the stress point. It's been three years, right? Four years. They're hitting the stress point. And now they're like, it's so man, I'm so burned out in life and stuff. I'm like, welcome.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Welcome to what this is. And it's fine to complain. But if I made a video that was like, man, streaming is so hard and it's a lot of work and it's so stressful and my social battery is burnt. And then you responded, yeah, but I work with the homeless and help them get into shelters. I'd be like, okay, no, you're right. No, you're correct. Yeah. No, there's plenty of other jobs. Plus, listen, a lot of the people – I'm not going to, you're correct. Yeah. No, there's plenty of other jobs.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Plus, listen, a lot of the people... I'm not going to fight you on it. A lot of the people that do, like, the streaming, they're like, ah, burn it. They'll stream, like, 24-hour streams, 12-hour streams, seven days a week. It's just, it's like, cut down. What are you doing? Yeah. They, like, do it to themselves. There's also some people that I hate when I know they're lying.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Like, for example, there's this exercise girl. I'm not going to say her name. All right. Uh-huh. And I was watching. She was talking about like questions that people want me to say or whatever. And she was like, are you rich? And she's like, man, I wish I was rich.
Starting point is 00:30:59 And I was like, this girl's a millionaire. Don't let anybody else be fooled. All right. she had millions of subscribers every video is getting like millions of views and she's like you know i'm not as rich as some people and where i'd like to be i'm able to pay my bills i was like the way she worded it i was like okay she has like five million not 20 million all Yeah. Like she's still a millionaire. Listen, she she was getting like 20 times the amount of views I got in my prime. And I was like, I know how many views I got. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:33 You're doing pretty well. All right. I can I can calculate the YouTube money. I'm no fool. Also, I know that the better you do, the more money you make per ad. Oh yeah. And then you so that halfway through and you're just like, and what really helps is when I talk about
Starting point is 00:31:48 Audible. And you're like, oh, man. So Audible paid you a ton of money. Yeah. It's one of those things that's always funny to me is the weird thing that there's only two groups that infuriate me online. The people that have
Starting point is 00:32:03 money and all they do is flaunt the money. And the people that have money and are like, I'm not, I don't have a lot of money. I'm really struggling. It's like, bro, you definitely do. Stop pretending. Yeah. Like, just own it. I respect more people that just own it.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Like, yeah, you know what? I made a bunch of money and I'm living life. Just be like that. It's definitely a weird thing. I think the people that have money, I think, should give it to me. And then they'll just make more. And then I'll have money. I thought you were about to say a really serious thing.
Starting point is 00:32:44 And you're just like, I think they should give me the money. No, I got nothing serious to say. I wish I had money. Again, I would spend it on insane things. I would have the most fun. That's true. I mean, listen, I'll still take money if people want to give it. Right?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Right. Yeah. I will definitely take. Speaking of which, we have a live show. July 13th in Chicago. Tickets quickly selling. I imagine by this time next week they'll be sold out. So just a heads up, it's the end of the month.
Starting point is 00:33:16 So you probably – or beginning of the month whenever you listen to this. So you probably got paid. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. What if you gave that to us? Listen, I'm not a millionaire. I got to pay for the car thing I just did what if you gave that to us listen i'm not a millionaire i gotta pay for the car thing i just did with the dealership the other week all right okay i need your help yeah uh i will say the other downside of like a youtube streaming thing even
Starting point is 00:33:38 though we did just talk about how easy it is it always feels like you do have to work you know how like if you get out of a normal job, you'll just be like, hey, you know what? Now I'm off. I can relax. We don't really have that. It's always like I could be doing something. No, you're always working. Yeah. So that is, like, a downside.
Starting point is 00:33:52 But again, it's like, would I take that over still doing the normal job? Yeah. Anytime. I mean, again, the relative nature of work. Work is, like, the definitive focal point of all this. Yeah. Because work is the it's like the definitive focal point of all this yeah because work is defined in our case as you know i played video games and talk some shit that's that's me working
Starting point is 00:34:12 was like guys i gotta work tonight i'm like who wants to pick a pokeball you go left mid right all right we got charizard okay that's me like am i gonna do that over working in the coal mines yes might do that over working at dick sporting goods yes Yes. Am I going to do that over working at Dick's Sporting Goods? Yes. Okay. Yeah. No, I'm all right. I'm totally fine.
Starting point is 00:34:30 I would gladly do it. Like, I would sit here and edit a video or make a thumbnail or look at analytics and figure out, like, what I should be doing over any other job ever. Except for Trust Fund Baby. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. I would do that. Yeah yeah i would be a trust fund baby and that and you know what i'd end up doing youtube you just do what you're doing now but you don't have to worry about it yeah which by the way we've said this before i'll say it again
Starting point is 00:34:55 most of your favorite youtubers streamers uh tiktokers whatever definite rich kids oh yeah just put it out there no doubt Just saying what needs to be said. Yeah, they are. Not me, though. Not either of us. Yeah, no. No. No.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Not us. I had to delay my top ten list about frogs in WoW for a week. Think of the detriment of the youtube channel i put out so much content in a week only because i'm like you know i got people to pay and i do not have the money so i gotta keep making stuff uh which by the way i'm gonna be on chaluminati again you probably don't even know mathis did say that you that that one of my favorite guests was gonna be on and i immediately was like son of a bitch yeah it's uh i think it's next week's episode actually oh how fun yeah so i literally was like hey if you if you ever want me to come
Starting point is 00:36:00 back i'd be down to come back again he's just like how about march 6th and i was like perfect me to come back, I'd be down to come back again. He's just like, how about March 6th? And I was like, perfect. So yeah, I'll be back, ready to add my talents to the show. I also see that you're on the schedule for Geekenders in April, so that's also very
Starting point is 00:36:16 funny. I am. Dodger messaged me today. She said, you want to come back on? I said, I sure do. I told you, I'm making my rounds. Gotta stay right in the middle. It's like my tour. It's like when people go on the late night shows. Back on Letterman.
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Starting point is 00:41:22 off. Alright, let's go to the guy's grand door. Oh boy. to get 50% off. All right, Crandall, let's go. How's that traffic out there? Oh, boy. Traffic is actually not too bad. Although there is some weather stuff all over impacting it.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Also, we're recording this on a Wednesday because, I mean, you have to do your Final Fantasy thing. So it's a weird day. I'll be gone from the world yeah yeah so uh it's a it's a different day than we normally do it back to you thanks crendor now let's go over to the weather desk how's that weather weather by the way what is what exactly is this final fan i see everybody and their brothers just like final fantasy final fantasy
Starting point is 00:42:03 here it comes and i don't know i didn't i don't play final fantasy so their brothers just like Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, here it comes. And I don't know. I don't play Final Fantasy. So I'm just like, what is it? So Final Fantasy VII came out many, many years ago back in the 90s, in 1997. Right. And it was one of the most popular games they ever made. And everyone loves it. I think mostly because of Tifa's boobs.
Starting point is 00:42:19 I think. And so what ended up happening is over the years, like back in the early 2000s They released a few other bonus games Not good, as someone who's played all of them Not great games And then it kind of like went dark And they released other Final Fantasies You know like 9, 10, 11, all those different things And then
Starting point is 00:42:38 Four years ago Back whenever PS4 was still a thing They had the re-release for Final Fantasy 7 remake, and everyone was losing their mind because they announced there was going to be a three-game trilogy that was a retelling of the original game from 1997. And so,
Starting point is 00:42:56 basically, it's everyone nostalgic for something they remember from their childhood, or someone new who's falling in love with the characters all over again. It's that kind of thing. And all the reviews are saying that this, the second in the trilogy, is amazing,
Starting point is 00:43:11 and everyone's really excited. Apparently, this one has the Golden Saucer, which is famous for its plethora of minigames. And so basically, it's Final Fantasy VII plus, you know, ten or so minigames that all look awesome. And so everyone's just excited because it's going to be one of those things that people are going to spend way too much time on. Me, I'm going to play it on easy mode and plow through the story. I have no time to be like, this is a challenge.
Starting point is 00:43:37 I got stuff I got to do. So I'm just going to blow through it, and I'm very excited. All right. I see. So it's like the final part of the remake thing no it's part two of the remake oh and there's three parts yes and the part three they said won't be out till 2028 so oh my god all right yeah um but the thing is is it's this part has the potential for having a very there's a very important in the gaming universe moment
Starting point is 00:44:05 that happens in Final Fantasy VII that kind of like scars every kid. And that may or may not be happening in this one because what they established in the last game is that the story isn't the same as the first one. Ah, I see. There's like little tweaks and changes and a major change that happens in the last game.
Starting point is 00:44:20 And so in this one, everyone's like, yo, is that moment that defined a generation gonna be in this or they're gonna change it so there's a lot of factors as why it's everywhere but you know it's just a big game it's just it's but truthfully it's 90% nostalgia 5% people being horny for the characters and then the other 5% is people being like well the reviews are good so I guess I gotta check it out that That's really what it is. I see. Okay. If you're, I mean, if you're
Starting point is 00:44:48 streaming it, I'll pop in and take a look. Yeah. It's, uh, I'm worried because it's open world. Oh, no. The first one was kind of like you're in a town and you're on a track and you just gotta do the things. This is open world and I'm terrified it's gonna be like 80 hours and I don't know that I'm prepared
Starting point is 00:45:04 to commit that time. Yeah. I don't mind open world things sometimes. There's other times where it's like, it's too much. Well, I don't mind them. The problem is, is every open world game I'll get 20 hours in and be like, yeah, I kind of got what I wanted from that. And then I'll stop playing. People will lose their minds. And I'm like, I can't, if I put in another 80 hours, I'll miss out on all these other games I want to check out too. Yeah. I don't have all the time in the world. I got to make choices here.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Yeah. And people are like, you never finished it. I'm like, in my mind, I did. Oh, that reminds me. We were, you know, we were watching recently is Sailor Moon. Okay. The old one or the new release? Yeah, like the old 1992 one or whatever nice
Starting point is 00:45:48 solid and main reason we watched it while we started watching is just because uh i was just in like an old 90s mood and i was like i remember being a kid and going to buy pokemon cards they had sailor moon stuff up everywhere and i was like sailor moon i don't know what that is and i And I was like, you know what? I still don't really know what it is. So we started watching it. I'm like, alright. Now I know what it is, but I actually really like the art because it gives me it's like a weird nostalgic city pop vibe, you know what I mean? It has that like city pop art because it's made in like the same time period. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Sailor moon is
Starting point is 00:46:26 fine until like all anime and i mean this to anyone who's an anime fan if you say i'm lying you're you're wrong it's the same as all anime and that by the end it gets absolutely insane oh yeah i i imagine that does happen it gets so out there you're just like okay all right yeah okay right now i'm just enjoying watching it just for the art and You're just like, okay, all right. Yeah. Okay. Right now I'm just enjoying watching it just for the art. And I'm just like, it's pretty fun with like character design and stuff. But it will probably hit that point where I'm like, it's getting a little too crazy and I'm kind of tired of it. But until then.
Starting point is 00:46:56 I seem to recall a little girl with pink hair and a gun at some point, which is insane to me. I'll let you know once that happens. If it's a real memory that may be a movie i don't know i i uh in college i dated a girl who was super into sailor moon and most anime so she made me watch all the anime that was available at the time yeah thank again the only the only thing i actually liked was cowboy bebop that seemed like a normal story so i was happy right and yeah I've been told it's barely an anime so that's cool well today's weather is for let's see I'm going to hold this down
Starting point is 00:47:34 see where we land and we have the weather uh oh it's still going uh oh when's it going to stop hold on what if I just hit it okay there we go it stopped for Oh, when's it gonna stop? Well, what if I just knows? Okay, there we go. It stopped for drag. He da Ireland dro hug Dro hug, duh, we're gonna get we're gonna get yelled at by Ireland again because we already got the guard. I came after us
Starting point is 00:48:05 Yeah, that's a treehoadah. Yep. It looks like Drogheda. Yeah, Drogheda. Definitely not what it's pronounced. Over in Drogheda, Ireland. That's what my head feels like right now, Drogheda. Drogheda. It's 43 degrees in American units.
Starting point is 00:48:23 It feels like 36. You got 81 on the humidity pressure 29.56 visibility 9 miles 7 14 a.m sunrise 601 p.m sunset winds at 13 miles an hour dew point 37 uv index zero moon phase waning gibbous take a look at the 10 day uh you've got 46 thursday sun and clouds got some mix with some overnight rain friday 42 with rain saturday 44 with showers sunday partly cloudy uh and then monday 47 rain tuesday 51 rain wednesday 53 rain and it's pretty much just 50 degrees and rain every day from there on out. To the people who are from, and do we have a pronunciation of this? Did someone, who left this information?
Starting point is 00:49:14 Who wanted us to see this? This is Fiona Kelly. Fiona, first off, beautiful name. Second off, what's the deal? What's going on? You have a hotel called The D, which is amazing. The D is the name of the hotel. You have the KFC Retail Park, which seems insane. The KFC Retail Park.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Is that like a theme park? I don't know. It says KFC Retail Park on here. Oh, yeah. I see the D. And then there's a pub way over here on what I assume is the county line. The Morans of Morrington? Moria? Morans of Morrington.
Starting point is 00:49:55 The Mines of Moria? You found it? The Mines of Moria. Morans of Morrington seems like a brand. I don't know. But this pub has a 4.8, and that's one of the highest things i've ever seen on this site ever yo okay there's i found the place hold on is this gonna work all right here you go oh that'll work uh you sent me to the town god okay it's stupid google is it joe's takeaway it's joe's takeaway yeah yeah joe's takeaway looks like uh traditional fish and chips irish fish and chips
Starting point is 00:50:34 yeah and i have no context for anything other than a menu there's nothing else on here. I just love how it's just some shack. It's got 4.4 out of 5, 236 reviews and on the menu there's something called buddies. I don't know what a buddy is. It says curry or taco something, mince
Starting point is 00:51:00 buddy or butter or sauces and Philly steak. What is a buddy? Oh, there's the Irish spice bag. Is it a spice bag situation? A chip buddy? What is?
Starting point is 00:51:17 A chip buddy or a chip barm is a sandwich filled with chips. That sounds right. But it's like fry, like the thick fried chips, you know, not like American, like the crisps or whatever. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:51:32 So yeah, it's like, I guess, but would they, a Philly, so they take like Philly steak and then they put chips on it? I guess.
Starting point is 00:51:42 I don't know. I'm all, I'm down the rabbit hole of... Spice bag got me, dude. A spice bag. In my mind, I was like, okay, it looks like it's chips. Chips in a bag, and they throw... I don't know what this...
Starting point is 00:51:56 This is the first thing on Wikipedia. All right. A spice bag is a fast food dish popular in Ireland and inspired by Chinese cuisine. What? Mostly sold in Chinese takeaways in Ireland. Typically, a spice bag consists of deep fried salt and chili chips. Salt and chili chicken, red and green peppers, sliced chili peppers, fried onion, jalapeno, and a variety of spices. I'm not going to lie.
Starting point is 00:52:23 I eat the shit out of this. It does sound pretty good. That sounds good as shit. That sounds great. Yeah, spice bag. I've never had a spice bag before. Should I just go? I need to go to Ireland.
Starting point is 00:52:37 What am I doing? I need the Sligo Gardai to come get me. Take me on an adventure. The old Sligo Gardai, get a spice bag. Then you'll an adventure. You'll Sligo guard that. I got a spice bag. And then you'll be complete. Looks great. Have it with like a Guinness or something. Or whatever.
Starting point is 00:52:53 They probably got some like super Guinness or something. Like their own backyard Guinness. This is crazy. This is like a whole new language. This is like when we discovered what food's called in Australia. Okay. Oh, yeah, it is You give yourself a brekkie wrap and a wristie. And it's got Ghibli bops in it. You're like, what's a
Starting point is 00:53:12 Ghibli bop? And it's like, oh, it's got like 45 jiggles and a wibwab. And you're like, what? And you're like, yeah. I'm so confused, but I'd eat all of it. Yeah, it looks good. You know what? Let's not even bring language into this. You bring me the food and I
Starting point is 00:53:28 will eat it. That's true. He will eat it. I am a big fan. Sign me up. Super Max and Papa John's Drug Hedda. So many Irish pubs. Like pubs next to pubs next to pubs.
Starting point is 00:53:43 This one's not a pub this is papa john's oh okay well yeah i don't know what super max is what oh by the way question to our our lovely irish folks what's the deal with emerald park is emerald park a cool place i'm looking at it right now and it looks insane. There's what appears to be a dolphin vomiting a terrifying tree. How do I send this to you? Emerald Park is, like, directly southwest of Drogheda, or however you say that.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Uh. And it is next to the Snail Box Restaurant Bar and Accommodation. That's very nice of them. Bar and Accommodation. Emerald Park. Emerald Park. Amusement rides. And everything on here, there's like a giant yellow man. I don't know who that guy is.
Starting point is 00:54:45 There's what appears to be some D&D characters made of stone, a big man made of plants, a dinosaur for some reason, a scary tree, vomiting dolphins, a tiger. Wait, is this Fantasia? No, this is Emerald Park. Oh, Emerald Park. I found Funtasia theme park. How many theme parks?
Starting point is 00:55:10 I don't know. Emerald Park's mascot is a giant yellow-headed man, and I don't know who this is. Should I know this person? This one's for kids, but it looks like somebody that made it was on drugs. Although this one says
Starting point is 00:55:27 Tato Park Admissions. Who's Tato? Like Po-Tato? I mean, the man looks like a potato, so it's possible. Boil him, mash him, stick him in a stew. Yeah. Yo, you can even get a potato, one of those potato things that's cut in a swirl
Starting point is 00:55:43 and put on a stick there. A tornado potato? Sure. that's what it says oh i see well that's the weather all right let's go to sports sports yes we got baseball starting up spring training's happening uh get get ready for a lot of baseball pretty soon okay uh the nba currently we have the celtics in first place in the eastern conference and the timberwolves in first in the west with the thunder a half game behind and in hockey we got the florida panthers boston bruins tied uh top of the atlantic. The Rangers atop the Metropolitan. Winnipeg Jets and Dallas Stars tied atop the Central. And the Canucks atop the Pacific.
Starting point is 00:56:34 And I forgot, the Olympics are actually happening this summer, right? That is true. In France, I think? I believe so. Olympics, summer, July 26th in Paris. Yeah, it's in France. Which means 2028 is LA, I think? That sounds like it'll be terrible.
Starting point is 00:56:53 2028, yep. They're already doing construction on stuff, and it's like a little too much. Yeah, that sounds... A place that's already congested is going to get more... It's going to end up being like my head. Yep. Well, but... A place that's already congested is going to get more. It's going to end up being like my head. Yep.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Well, but this summer will be fun. Yes, as we can watch. What are the Summer Olympic sports that are fun? I usually just put on anything, and then I just chill out and fall asleep or something. I will listen to it at night for sure. Yeah, it's definitely a night thing. But yeah, there's some where, what is Summer Olympics? Most of the Olympic sports that I think about, I think about are Winter Olympic sports. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:35 There's the track stuff, and that's fine. And there's... Polo. You know, basketball and soccer, football swimming's big uh yeah swimming swimming's big but i never i'm never like a big swimming guy yeah wait tennis uh they got table tennis dude the ping pong table tennis that gets pretty pretty crazy. That could be fun. They got lacrosse. They got wrestling. They got weightlifting.
Starting point is 00:58:11 I'll watch the weightlifting. That's always fun. That's always crazy. They got... Wait, they have trampoline? The hell is that? Oh, they have skateboarding? Oh my god, do they have... Wait, do they have chess this year? They do have skateboarding.
Starting point is 00:58:28 Yo, I'm ready. Oh, boy. Yeah, that'll be good. I don't see chess. They got the canoe sprint. They got judo. What's that one? Oh, fencing.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Oh, fencing's always pretty cool. They got... They got three-on-three basketball? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Three-on-three basketball. That's where it's at. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Yeah, freestyle basketball. Oh, that'll be good. Actually, yeah, I think I remember seeing that last year. They have flag football, which is... I can't believe that's a thing. Yeah, I think that's new this year, just flag football. Yo, do they have pickleball? Oh, they got to have pickleball, right?
Starting point is 00:59:14 Oh, no, I don't see it. Damn, pickleball is going to be there in LA. They got cycling, they got BMX. BMX freestyle? Yo! Yeah, that's gonna be good. I'm here for it. I'm here for that. Yeah. So, yeah, it'll be pretty fun. They got some pretty fun things.
Starting point is 00:59:37 Yeah, I always get upset because I see things like karate and judo and I'm like, oh, that'd be awesome. And it's not ever as, like, taekwondo, it's not ever as cool as you think. It's literally like two dudes doing, like, three moves and it'm like oh that'd be awesome and it's not ever as like taekwondo it's not ever as cool as you think it's literally like two dudes doing like three moves it's like point and you're like what happened wait what do you mean who had the point yeah I'm like what do you mean yeah it's never as cool as like a dude breaking another man yeah like you step into the ring with me
Starting point is 00:59:58 and he like Cobra Kai's him it doesn't happen yeah that's I think I golf I didn Wait, they got golf? I didn't realize they had golf. Yep. Surfing could be fun. Oh, yeah, surfing.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Rhythmic gymnastics is the one that everyone loves. Ah, yeah. Yo, they got beach volleyball. Biathlon. You know what? Everyone loves... All right, when I say everyone, I mean just perverts on the internet love beach volleyball.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Boxing could be super fun. Yeah, boxing. Oh my god! Breaking! They have breakdancing? They have breakdance. That's the one to watch. We need to do full coverage of the Paris 2024
Starting point is 01:00:44 breakdance competition. Alright, yeah, we need to do full coverage of the Paris 2024 breakdance competition. Alright, yeah. We will be doing full coverage of the breaking. I love the fact that the description on their official Olympics website is From the streets of New York to the biggest stage in sports, breaking, also known as breakdancing, is an urban style
Starting point is 01:00:59 urban dance style that originated in the Bronx borough of New York in 1970s. It's a form of dance sport that blends urban dance with remarkable athleticism. The best part is it says breaking athletes are referred to as B-boys, B-girls, or breakers. The B standing for break. What a great source of information. Yeah, I know so much more now. About the B-boys and the B-girls.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Yeah, the B-boys and the B-girls. I am in. That's worth covering. That sounds amazing. That is pretty great. We will definitely be covering that 100%. Yup. And that's sports.
Starting point is 01:01:44 All right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Day. Day. Rip. Oh, that's a good one. IKEA is an acronym
Starting point is 01:01:59 that stands for Ingvar Kamprad Elmthjard Ungjord, which is the founder's name, the farm where he grew up and his hometown. That is a fact that we actually could use in your life on a daily basis. It actually is.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Although I haven't been to Ikea in a while. That taught you something. Yeah. But now I might go just from hearing that fact. You're just going to share it with the people who work there like guess what i found out i wouldn't do that because they don't care uh so that's wait hold on i just found another crazy one the hobbit has been published in two editions in the first edition gollum willingly bet on his ring in the riddle game.
Starting point is 01:02:45 I think probably maybe the second edition was what came first? I think Hobbit came first and Lord of the Rings, right? I believe so, yeah. So the first edition probably he was like well this is one story and he's gonna bet for this silly ring and the ring is just some nonsense. And then he was like
Starting point is 01:03:01 oh it's the most important thing in my entire lore. And so he's like I gotta change it. Why would that guy give it like oh it's the most important thing in my entire lore and so he's like i gotta change it why would that guy give it up if he if it's his precious that's true maybe i know he's really in the world building so maybe you just you just built it differently yeah i don't know i don't know either if you know comment below even if even tolkien uh goes back and and changes his lore I guess I shouldn't be so hard on WoW. Well, at least when he changes it, it becomes better. And that's your fact of the day.
Starting point is 01:03:37 All right. What's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Big news story of the day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Neil the Seal made quite the splash in late 2023 when social media all over the Australian New Zealand were catching sightings of him doing things that if he were a human may be considered crime.
Starting point is 01:04:01 What is, wait, whoa. This is a serial offender seal? Yes. A serial offender? Yes. Once the year ended, everybody was left wondering if Neil the seal would turn over
Starting point is 01:04:17 a new leaf and stop being such a menace. As of January 8th, we know that Neil has no plans to change his tune. I've been watching neil the seal pretty closely since i found out he existed i think he's hilarious i think at your get tireous gals might be the favorite the cone has a don't pet the seal sign right on it it's almost like like Neil is mocking us humans. Neil is a northern elephant seal who rose to internet fame when people around Australia started to notice that he was turning up and being a total drama king. He's been seen laying in roads, blocking the path, trying to break into cars, and just generally intimidating locals.
Starting point is 01:05:02 As far as we know, Neil hasn't hurt anybody or caused damage to anything. Otherwise, he would likely be relocated. Now he's battling with a traffic cone, which I think is hilarious. Neil is not the only seal who makes his way on the land. Every seal comes to the water, or comes out of the water to bask. Though they were warm-blooded,
Starting point is 01:05:22 it's nice to be warm every once in a while. Getting out of the water prevents them from suffocating, too. They're air-breathers, and without surfacing, they could drown. Hypothetically, a seal could survive on land forever as long as it was kept wet enough. Main problem with that, as we see in the video, would be that they're not exactly the most fluid movers. On land, they inch across the ground.
Starting point is 01:05:42 They're just too big, and they have no leg. In water, they can glide. Neil the Seal is not currently dangerous. As annoying as it is. Well, first off, I'm glad they understand that. Second off, Neil the Seal, what's going on in Australia that you have one seal
Starting point is 01:05:58 that's like, that's the guy, that's Neil. Or is this like the legend of Hank the Tank, where it could be multiple tanks? That's true where it could be multiple tanks? That's true. This could be multiple seals. But I feel like they keep finding Neil. There's got to be something about Neil.
Starting point is 01:06:12 What do you mean? Yeah, like how do they keep finding Neil? And does Neil make his way up and down the coast? What's going on with Neil? Yeah, I don't know. It looks like he's on TikTok. There's one of him on TikTok. He's all over Tasmania.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Neil the Seal does, in fact, have his own TikTok account. Yes. He's a big seal. Yep. And he loves messing with cones. Maybe he just hates them. But there's also different shots. And sometimes it looks like a different guy. Maybe it is.
Starting point is 01:06:52 Yeah, hold on. Yeah, how do they know it's him? He does look kind of different in some of these. Like one of them looks like a baby seal, and one of them looks like a big seal, and one of them looks like a seal seal And one of them looks like a big seal And one of them looks like a seal that has like discoloration in his face And one looks like he's got a big old hump Yeah one looks more gray One looks more brown
Starting point is 01:07:14 Maybe he's just not wet enough Maybe Yeah maybe I don't know Although it looks like he's got the marking there. Although, it looks like he's got a little ding on his head or something. Okay, that one is not Neil DeSeal. That one, he's got the marking.
Starting point is 01:07:35 That one, he doesn't. This one is... That's his kid. That's his kid, Phil DeSeal. Ah, yeah, it's got to be Phil DeSeal. Yeah. Easy mix-up it's yeah there's one of him knocking that i think this is kind of like hank the tank where people just keep thinking it's the same seal and it's just a pack yeah but that's fine because you can never catch the real one yeah there's always a neil the sealale. Yeah, that's like V for Vendetta. At the end, everyone has the mask on.
Starting point is 01:08:06 We all were V, dude. Yeah. I am Spartacus. So now we know that Hank the Tank and Neil DeSeale are out there. One's coming in from the water, one's in the woods. We just need like a bird now. Right. ones you know coming in from the water ones in the woods we just need like a bird now right like oh boy I got nothing that rhymes with eagle
Starting point is 01:08:32 how about beagle the eagle I was thinking beagle but I was like that's a dog you can't do beagle the eagle that's what would be funny because you think it's a dog but it's an eagle I'm looking at the names I can't even come up with anything That's going to be funny because you think it's a dog, but it's an eagle. I'm looking at the names.
Starting point is 01:08:48 I can't even come up with anything. It's tough. Yeah. Like, what do you rhyme with? Chicken. Or owl. Licking the chicken. No, dude. No.
Starting point is 01:08:59 Owl. How about owl? Owl? Get out of here. That sucks, and I love it. I love it. That's old Al the Owl. That's Al the Owl.
Starting point is 01:09:12 Yep. This has got to be one bird that has a name. Crane? Falcon? Crow? Moe the Crow? Moe the Crow, that's it. Moe the Crow, you got it. Moe the Crow, you got it.
Starting point is 01:09:25 That's the one. You got to watch out for Neil the Seal, Hank the Tank, and Moe the Crow. But Hank the Tank doesn't even matter, really. Hank the Tank destroys it. Because he's not a tank, he's a bear. Yeah. There is actually a Moe the Crow that's like a character from a comic book. I just Googled it. Also, don't look up who mo the crow actually is now that i see it it is unpleasant yeah unpleasant now we can't even
Starting point is 01:09:54 use mo the crow anymore now we can't use more the crow he goes to prison for bad reasons i don't want to have to explain it so all right no mo. No, Moe, the crow's done. He's gone. He's gone. We're going with, uh, Deagle, Deagle,
Starting point is 01:10:10 Beagle, Eagle, Eagle, Eagle. Yeah, that's it. That's the one. Well,
Starting point is 01:10:17 and if you tell us that's even worse than Moe, the crow birds are out. Yep. They're out. We'll find something else. Uh, and that's your new story of the day all right well that's it for us thanks so much for listening or watching or ever joining this podcast grand door item of the socials we've got socials also beagle the eagle is just a bunch of dogs with an
Starting point is 01:10:36 eagle head if you google it fantastic uh we've got youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast that's where all these podcasts are you can also go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. That's where all these podcasts are. You can also go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. That's where all the animations are. You can also search on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud, and other podcast things. You also got our own things. YouTube, Jesse Cox, YouTube, Crandor, Twitch, Jesse Cox, Twitch, Crandor, Twitter, Jesse Cox, Twitter, Crandor, Facebook, Jesse Cox, Facebook, Crandor, TikTok, Jess Cox. TikTok. TikTok, Crendor. Instagram, Notorious Cox. Instagram, Crendor is taken. And YouTube, Crenclips. YouTube, Coxclips. And YouTube, Warhammer, Crendor. And that's it.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Okay. Thanks so much for listening or watching. We'll see you all next time. And as always, To be continued

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