Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 418 - Deez Nuts
Episode Date: March 11, 2024The boys are back and this time Jesse survives a harrowing 10 minute drive home. Meanwhile Crendor finds himself at what me the nerdiest, goofiest, weirdest bar in the midwest. Also a man by the name ...of Deez Nuts gets arrested and the boys discover that ancient romans were lazy as hell when it came to naming things. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://buyraycon.com/cox to get 20% off your order and free shipping. Come see Cox n' Crendor Live! https://t.co/EeWQDuVDe1
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Today's episode is brought to you by Raycon. Raycon's gonna get that good music into your ears
affordably. Now let's jump into this podcast!
Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trendong!
This is Trendong in the morning.
In the morning!
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live!
In 4-hour recording studios!
Recording! Hello everybody, what's up, it's over to Kax and Grendar in the morning!
Yee-haw!
Yee-haw indeed, my friend, yee-haw.
Welcome to the Wild West, partner.
Yep, we're in the Wild West of this show, actually. This is the Wild West era.
And that we've been doing 1,880 episodes. It feels like we've been around a long time.
What episode is this? Episode 418.
Dude, we're almost to 420.
Oh, damn, dude.
Watch out, world.
That's the meme number.
What if we get to episode 4269?
Wait, that's just 4269.
Never mind.
Yeah, that'd be pretty crazy if we got the 4269. Wow. that's just 4269. Never mind. Yeah, that'd be pretty crazy if we got the 4269.
Wow.
That's too many episodes.
That would be a lot.
It's taken 10 years to get to 400.
That would be a lot.
If there's 50-some weeks in a year, and we're obviously going to take one or two off.
So let's say 50.
All right.
If there are 50 weeks, that's's 50 and we need to hit another
3500 like it's not it's that one we're like 70 something 20 years from now is 1000 episodes
okay well it's never happening it's never happening i like. You were optimistic that we could do it in 40, but that would just be 2,418.
Although,
2,420, that's like
double the 420, bro.
Okay, what if a rich person
started paying us to do this every day?
If we got paid enough, I would do this
every day. Yeah. Like, I would
forego all bonds of fellowship with everything
else, and I would do this daily
as like a daily morning show. Yeah. We'd have to be paid to be compens fellowship with everything else and I would do this daily as like a daily morning show.
We'd have to be paid
to be compensated for everything else we're not
doing, but oh yeah, I'd do it.
Where's our like
princes? Our oil barons?
I'd do it. Imagine there's just like some
billionaires like, I love your podcast. I will
pay you guys to make sure it comes out every day.
It'd be like, perfect.
These are such good well wishes.
We really want this. This isn't a joke.
I really want some billionaire to be like,
guys,
you know, me,
John
M. Zuckerberg.
It's like Mark Zuckerberg's
son. Or cousin. I don't even care.
It doesn't have to be Mark.
I'm just a big fan and i would pay you guys to do a million dollars a year to do the show
daily i would immediately do that 100 no doubt i would be like i don't even know what the hell
youtube is i'm on it for me from now on yeah you know what i didn't even do it for 800 000
no i'd do it for me i have to i want to be a millionaire, Crensor.
That's true.
I don't want to be an $800,000-er.
I want to be a millionaire.
That's a good point.
And even then, we get taxed to hell and I want to be a millionaire.
But if I did it long enough, I could be a millionaire.
That's true.
I mean, after a couple years, we'd be millionaires.
That's what I'm saying.
We'd just like save up.
I mean, like, we gotta.
We'd have to do it.
Yeah.
Also, this is just a fever dream.
This is never happening.
Let me have this.
That's all I want.
Let me have this.
I was on the Chaluminati this week speaking of podcasts.
It's true.
And I heard that people thought it was great and a fever dream, which to me doesn't sound great.
But whatever.
Whatever you like.
It's good.
It was weird because we spent a fourth of it talking about this podcast.
I feel bad because it's very clear Mathis had something he wanted to do,
but it isn't what happened on that episode.
No, sir.
No, yeah.
I think he wanted to do this format where you had a weather and then an actual news story
and a traffic or something like that.
And they were all tied in,
but we only got the,
the,
the weather hour to get through the weather,
which to be fair,
we also take an hour to get through the weather.
So it was pretty accurate.
He should have known what he was getting into then.
That's on him.
Yeah,
it is on him.
Um,
we learned about meat falling from the sky and that's a pretty fun story.
That was a pretty fun story. I like that one. Uh, where did the meat falling from the sky and that's a pretty fun story that was a pretty fun story i like that one uh where did the meat come from i don't know you'll
have to go listen to find out there you go but after you listen to this obviously i mean sure
yeah like you'd be a fool to go listen to other things when we're trying to make a million dollars
off exactly john m zuckerberg don't John M. Zuckerberg, don't leave.
We need you.
Please don't leave.
How's your week been?
I know you've been playing Final Fantasy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is all I'll say.
I love Final Fantasy VII a lot, but they kind of, I don't know if like you can Yakuza it or whatever, but it's so many mini games and some of them are super fun and some of them are so obtuse.
And it's like very clear that they had an A team and B team of mini game creators.
Because some of them you're like, wow, that was so goofy and fun.
And then some of them there's one where it's like a mushroom picking thing.
And you have to pick it.
Oh, yeah.
You have to go pick a mushroom.
And you would think normally because the rest of the game you just press triangle to pick something no no
this one particular moment you have to walk up to mushrooms and then pre-select how you're going to
pull it and based on that it will try to pull it up and you can fail and it's basically just trying
to find the code you know what i mean like it's either up down left right that kind of thing
and you have to find the right order the problem is I mean? Like it's either up, down, left, right, that kind of thing. And you just have to find the right order.
The problem is you have a bar down at the bottom, and the more you pull, the more you damage the mushroom.
So basically you have to trial and error your way through pulling this mushroom, and it's like make sure to get them all perfect.
You're like, well, how is that possible?
It's so frustrating, and obviously it's like why does this need to exist, bro?
Why was this?
But you could tell they were having fun, so bless them for having fun.
But I didn't think that was fun.
So, yeah, it's that kind of stuff.
I'm enjoying the story tremendously.
But part of me is like, I'm going to do all this now. So never in my life do I ever have to come back and do this again.
When I play through it again or I do something, I'll just never touch the minigames ever.
Right?
And they're all side quests associated, so it's like, you know,
I did one today that was like, all right, go over and use your Chocobo
to fly through this thing.
And it's straight up the Superman 64 flying through the circle gates thing.
Oh, yeah.
I hate it.
I hate it so much to the point where when you take off in the beginning, you have to keep holding down the trigger.
And I thought it just said to start, press R2.
So I pressed R2, held it down, hit this circle, started the event, and I let go and I immediately fell to the ground.
And it was like, you lose.
It was like, no indication said I had to keep holding R2.
Okay, back at it again.
said I had to keep holding R2.
Okay, back at it again.
It's that kind of thing where there's always little bits of information
that are missing for me to truly understand
a thing. And I guess I'm just old.
I don't know, man.
Other than that, I'm having
a great time. But that's not what happened this
week. What happened this week, dude,
oh my god. So
the other night, again, coming home from playing
Final Fantasy,
it's late. I don't know, it's like 11 something
And I'm coming home
And it's Thursday night
And around this area, Thursday is when people be drinking
And so
I'm coming home
I think it was Friday
I think it was Friday night
And still, same thing
Friday people drink around here
As I'm driving home Normally I have to turn Friday night. Right. And still, same thing. Friday, people drink around here. Yeah.
As I'm driving home, normally I have to turn left down this road, and there's two left-hand
turn lanes.
So I'm sitting there waiting.
There's this big, huge SUV next to me.
And we both go to turn, and some dude across from us in what would have been his right turn lane down the same
road he looks at us sees that we're turning and then begins to make his turn as well as we're
turning in except he's not trying to go fast to be like i'm gonna sneak in here drive really quickly
so i can get this no he slow man turns into both lanes so that the guy next to me is trying to
swerve to avoid him because he doesn't want to get hit.
And me, I'm trying to swerve, but we're both trying to prevent ourselves
from swerving into each other as this dude takes up both lanes going five
miles an hour.
And so then the guy in the SUV tries to get around him, and he almost
curb hops to get around this guy.
Meanwhile, I try to drive past him because I don't know if he's just stupid or drunk or I don't know.
So I don't want to be near him, right?
So I try to go around him on the left.
The guy in the SUV tries to go around him on the right, and he's just in the middle, again, of two lanes.
Again, of two lanes And so we try to go around him
And the minute we do that
Another car pulls out from a side street
And almost hits all three of us
And I was just like
What the hell is happening?
So I
Drive as fast as I can
Past all three of them
And now I'm like, okay
That was crazy, I can't believe that happened
And then in front of me I see see a car on my right, right?
And I have to go in the left-hand lane and get over into a left-hand turn.
This dude goes from the far right-hand lane all the way in front to cut me off,
slams on his brakes to make the turn.
So now I'm like, what the?
I almost hit this guy too.
I was like, God, no wonder I'm not like out driving, you know,
at 11, 12 o'clock at night on Fridays anymore.
Like you people are crazy.
Was this by that gas station?
Oh, it is always.
It's always by the intersection of doom.
Yes.
Yes.
All right.
That's the first thing I thought of.
Yeah.
And so I go to turn left and I'm behind this guy.
So now I'm following him.
The dude who cut me off.
And here's the thing, though.
I can see in his rear view mirror he keeps looking back at me.
And because I'm just in a pissy mood because I almost got hit by three cars.
Yeah, that'll do.
I just glare ahead. Just stare at him. And so I think just in a pissy mood because I almost got hit by three cars, I just glare ahead, just stare at him.
And so I think I got him.
Again, this happens all the time because, of course, of course this is where all the assholes live.
As we're driving, I go to turn.
He goes to turn.
We're still on the same side of the road.
We're still driving together.
He's just in front of me.
He pulls into the apartment complex. That's
the $6,000 one-bedroom apartment
complex. Oh my god.
And I was like, well, of course this guy lives
there. Well, it all makes sense to me
now. The most entitled person on
the road who thinks he can cross multiple
lanes and cut someone off is the person
who lives in the $6,000 one-bedroom apartment
place. Of course. And so I
just drove past him and I went to go home
and I was like, my god, what a mess.
And as I'm driving home,
there might be, it's like two blocks
dude, it's not even that far.
This guy pulls out with
a trailer, except I don't know
that he thought what was going on with the
trailer. He almost flips his
boat
in the middle of the road.
What?
And I, so he had a trailer on the back of his car with a boat on it.
Right.
And he went to go turn down the road, and his turn was so sharp and hard because he
was trying to beat me, because I was coming down the road and he was trying to beat me
out of the corner so he could like, again, why couldn't he wait?
I don't know.
And so he goes to turn, And he turns so fast that his boat
Almost tips over onto my side of the road
Oh my god
And I was just like
I'm going home, I don't even need to be driving today
And I just like got into my house and was like
That was
Again, let me just stress to everyone
My office is roughly
10 minutes from my apartment
This was a 10-minute drive.
This was the craziest 10 minutes I've ever experienced on the road.
Madness.
It's like you're playing Mario Kart.
That's what I'm saying.
I was like, God, I got to tell Crandor this because I don't think I've ever got out of my car and took a deep breath.
Like, oh, my God.
I can't believe I made it home alive.
Yeah, or at least not cursed by witch magic or some shit.
Craziest, I couldn't believe it.
And usually at night, there's no one on the road, which is fine.
During the day, there's way too many people.
So at night, when no one's on the road, it's great.
But for some reason, this night was party time.
And I almost was like, is it St. Patrick's?
And not yet, no.
So I have no clue what the hell is going on.
It was like, dude, it's the 9th.
You know what goes down on the 9th.
Not 90 beers.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know what the hell is going on.
Maybe it's pre-St. Patrick's.
It wasn't raining.
It was just a normal night, and everyone was driving like they were gone,
just out of their mind, drunk.
Again, a dude swerved in front of two cars, took up both lanes.
Then the one guy swerved up onto the curb to get around him.
Meanwhile, i'm just
like what the hell is going on it was crazy and then another car almost hit me and then a guy
almost flipped his boat on me this is in 10 minutes time yeah that's like one one incident
every almost two minutes it was comic i was i was chuckling to myself in the car how comical it was
because you're right. It seemed
it was like in a row.
Like a comedy of errors just kept happening
around me. And I was like, I can't even. What the hell
is going on? Yeah, it's wild.
But you dodged all of them.
That's because I'm a safe driver
and I'm not like, I'm like, alright, I don't
want to be around this guy who's driving like Grazeburgers. I'm going to get
around him. I don't want to be, alright, I'm going to go slow.
I'm not going to try and do anything. I'm not going to try
to be angry and get around the guy who cut me off.
I'm just going to follow him back.
I'm not going to do anything insane.
I'm just going to not try to die tonight.
There was that
one incident. You did run a red light
in that Mind Flame video.
That's true.
That's true, but that's because
I was a lot younger and more importantly,
distracted by two individuals in my car who were making a bunch of goofs.
That's true.
Yeah, that would do it.
That was 10 years ago.
That was 10 years ago.
I think I've aged up.
Yeah.
In fact, I think it may have been 11 or 12 years.
You're right.
Yeah, that would have been a long time ago.
You're right.
It's 2024.
That would have been 12 years ago.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Wait, what's that from?
Oh, it's Batman.
It's the Batman detective.
Jesus.
You don't even know where your own jokes are from a lot of the lots of happens a lot of times you
just take stuff from other people throughout the years and so i'll like piece together like where
did i get this from where'd i get that from but then you turn that into how you doing
my voice giving out there uh it's basically the phlegm um and you just kind of morph all the
things you've picked up into your personality but once you establish your personality then
i think it's harder to have that happen because then you kind of morph it depends i think
there's a lot it's usually from stuff when you're when you're a kid and it's things that uh speak
to you uh in ways that you don't know like For me, a great example is the game Night Trap.
I did not remember until recently, in the last year,
that the phrase, why you wear those shades at night,
that I always say came from that game.
I totally forgot.
And I was like, oh, damn!
And the guy's like, why you wear those shades at night?
Oh, my God.
I had a similar thing with, I think, Donkey Kong 64.
There was always some, like, little ditty in my head.
And it'd be like...
Right?
And I'd always think that at random times.
And I'd be like, I don't know where that's from.
And then I heard it in Donkey Kong when I played it.
Lanky Kong plays trombone.
I was like, that's it.
Who knows how many things all of us have that we do that we don't even realize where it's from.
But then we hear it again and we know.
I mean, for me, that little ditty is always, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's it. Every time. Just, I mean, I'm always, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's it.
Every time.
Just, I'm stuck in Mario, but I'm underground in a cavern made of blocks.
At least you know you're stuck in Mario.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, what was the other thing?
I was talking about transformative growth, personality.
Oh, man. Yeah? transformation growth personality oh man yeah uh i was like realized there's like numerous things i
got from different people like there's some mannerisms i got from like different streamers
and youtube friends i knew and watched i picked up there's like uh certain things i heard from
like people on tv or comedians or whatever i'd like pick it up so like that's how i like morphed
my personality over
the years too and then I slowly realized like wait this person does this thing and then there's
people I know and I hear them do things that I used to do and I'm like dude they picked that up
from me so it also I think it depends on who you're around it's like uh if you're around I
don't know it doesn't even have to be like a content creator thing be like you're around your
grandma all the time and she's always like, well, I'll be.
And then you just start being like, well, I'll be.
And then you're just like, wait a second.
Grandma says that.
Yeah, one of my biggest problems is my dad often says kiddo.
Yeah.
He's like, sure thing, kiddo.
And so I say that, and I remember one time I dated a girl who got so mad.
And so I remember we got in a fight over that, and she was really upset.
And I'm like, I don't think you're a child.
It's not that I think you're a child, okay?
Please don't interpret it that way.
Okay, kiddo.
I, this week, have been finally getting over being sick.
Congrats.
Thank you.
Sound it right.
Yeah.
Well,
I mean,
I mean like the tail,
I still got like a tiny bit of phlegm.
Sometimes I like cough sometime,
whatever,
but like my nose is finally open and clear.
I don't got to blow my nose every two seconds.
Uh,
the,
my cough is calmed down.
It's very nice.
Not being sick again.
I always say that like,
if you get sick,
it's kind of fun for like a day or two
you know like initially if it's like not bad like if it's like a cold or something where you're just
kind of like you have like a day you're like i'm not gonna do anything it's gonna like play games
or watch movies or chill out and then just be like yeah and you're like nice but then after a day or
two then you're like all right this sucks i want to go back to normal you know i i
mean yeah i i like but it makes you appreciate when you are normal you know what i mean like
when you're sick you can't really you know you feel terrible and you end up i don't know you
end up appreciating when you're not sick so much more to the point where you're like i don't want
to get sick again that sucked sucked. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it makes you appreciate it more.
So, yeah, being sick, especially the coughing and the congestion,
that was just bleh, literally.
So I got over that.
And then there was something.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Okay, I've got a crazy story
so actually i've got two crazy stories go on one's very short one's more drawn out here's
the short one we were walking at the mall they put up their easter bunny for easter so you go
the kids can go see the easter bunny but the easter bunny was like sitting there and it was
like it was like uh maybe like 2 30 p.m so it was like nobody there
and he was just like because like all the kids are in school still
all the like adults are working this is like a wednesday by the way
why would he be there that's the ball's fault that's dumb that's what i'm saying why is he
doing this on a wednesday either way he was just sitting there. He was tweaking out.
His legs were gyrating.
He was just sitting. You could tell
he was just bouncing his legs.
Then there's the guy who takes the pictures and he's just
walking around.
I was like, dude, this Easter bunny is tweaking.
You know?
He's going crazy.
Admittedly, if there was an animal that would have
restless leg syndrome, it would be a
bunny, right? Yeah, that's
true. That checks out. Yeah, so
maybe it was just role play. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe. It's possible.
But then,
the next day,
I went out to eat with my
friend, because I was supposed to go out
to eat with him two weeks ago,
and then I got sick, and I was like, I'm sick. So he's like, alright. So I was like, alright, we can go out with uh to eat with him two weeks ago and then I got sick
and I was like I'm sick so he's like all right so I was like all right we can go out today so we went
to uh we went to one place and we sat at the bar and we're like all right you know we're got a I
got a brat and I got some uh we got cheese curds they're pretty good had a beer right so it was like a good time but then
we got there i think it was like 7 38 but then after like it was like nine o'clock you start
getting some crazier people right like the people that aren't eating they're just drinking so we get
this guy and this girl sit down like uh two seats away from us so there's like them then two empty seats than us then
this old woman and this old man come in probably like 60s uh and they sit down next to us and i
was like oh maybe they know each other but they didn't know each other and this lady's like what
do you why would you assume that because they like kind of talked to him for like a second
and i was like oh are they saying hello but then they didn't talk to him and i was like okay so then the lady ordered like a glass
of wine it's like a glass of red wine and then she ordered what looked like a coke
but it wasn't a coke because the bartender was like oh you got a coke and she's like
well you know me what do you think it is and she was like haha and i was like, oh, you got a Coke? And she's like, well, you know me. What do you think it is? And she was like, haha. And I was like,
what did she order?
Maybe it was
a Coke, and maybe it was
a Pepsi, and she was like,
Coke? Not me!
I have no idea what you're talking about.
I don't know what was in that glass.
What was the glass size?
It was like, you know how diners
give you those really hard plastic cups?
Sure.
It was like that.
Like a standard soda glass size.
Or like a water thing.
And it had something in it.
And I thought it was a Coke.
But it wasn't.
Because she said it wasn't.
Okay.
I need you to know that I typed in,
What looks like Coke but isn't Coke?
And the first thing that popped up for me was fish scale cocaine.
What you need to know.
Fish scale?
What the hell is fish scale cocaine?
What is fish?
I'm looking at it right now.
A typical cocaine is bought on the street.
It's white and slightly off-white powder.
Someone, I don't know what's happening.
I went to, and now a pop-up of a man trying to talk to me is happening.
What is going on?
All right, anyway.
High-potency cocaine is pearly white in appearance.
Because of its iridescent shine, it is called fish scale cocaine.
This type is much purer than regular.
Oh, damn, you want to get that fish scale. What is called fish scale cocaine. This type is much purer than regular. Oh, damn.
You want to get that fish scale.
What?
That fish scale.
Fish scales.
90% pure, dude.
So I guess we learned about fish scale cocaine.
I mean, I thought it was going to be made of fish scales is what I thought.
But here we are.
So it looks like. Hold on fish scales is what I thought but here we are Yeah, so it looks like hold on like what I found
coke
plastic
Coke glass
Okay, it looks like one of one of these hold on. Why can't I?
Link this okay copy image. Here we go. It looks like one of these
Alright, sure sure so but without the coca-c on it. A normal red diner see-through glass.
Yes.
I get it.
Yeah.
So she then gets one of those.
She gets her glass of wine.
And then the bartender is just like, oh, you getting a Coke or whatever?
And she's like, do you think I'd get that?
And then they both laugh.
So they know each other.
But then she takes her glass of wine and pours
it into that drink.
What?
Yeah.
Alright. I have a whole other question.
Where are you at where they're serving
coke in a red
clear glass like you're
at a diner yet they're also serving
wine? This is like a local restaurant
place.
God, I forget the Midwest is
insane. Alright, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
So I don't know what she had, but she poured her wine
into it, which that like
is a wine douche. That like
is like a punch in the gut.
It's crazy is what it is. It's crazy.
Yeah, it's crazy. So I was like, okay.
Whatever. Right? So she's doing something. So I was like, okay, whatever. Right?
So she's doing something.
Her husband got, like, whiskey or some shit.
And so I was just like, whatever.
So I'm having my brat.
I'm drinking my beer.
I'm talking to my friend.
Do you think she poured, like, do you think it was, like, Jager and wine?
I'm obsessed with what this woman was drinking.
I have no idea.
It had to be something that was like spiked
or like sprite
or water or iced tea. Was it a full
cup? It was full.
That's why I was like, that has to be
and then she poured her wine into it.
Maybe it was like a
wine spritzer.
Yeah, maybe she
got just wine and then
another cup. She's like, bring me another cup of wine.
So I can pour my wine into that wine.
She had wine mixed with something in a cup, then she poured her wine into the cup?
I have no idea.
Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Whatever it is, it's a terrible idea, and you shouldn't do it.
So then she looked at what I was eating, and she goes, what is that?
Is that some sort of chicken?
And I go no it's a bratwurst
and she goes oh that's a bratwurst
and I was like yeah and she's like is that
made out of chicken? And I was like
no it's made out of pork. And I was
like you can have a chicken brat
and she was like oh I didn't know
that. And the guy her husband's just like
you learn something new every day.
What the hell? So I didn't know that the guy her husband's just like you know you learn something new every day So
Luckily they then moved to the complete other side of the bar which was like
I think they they wanted to sit next to the bartender they knew and it was like more open down there
They didn't want to be as like cramped in So they just went down there i was like okay whatever uh but here's the thing
then these two women come in all right and these two women sit down and they sit in between uh us
and the guy and the girl from before now the, the guy and the girl there, alright? Let me just
paint you a picture. The guy is
just kind of like
this like dweeby kind of
looking guy. He kind of looks like
but he's not like
a nerd. He's just kind of a dweeb.
He looks like he loves
doing math
but he's still like kind of cool.
He goes to clubs
and stuff like he looks like a social dweeb all right I mean okay sure yeah
I'm just trying to paint the map I'm not saying there's no a picture was painted
I don't know if it's accurate he's a very social dweeb social dweeb all right
I think that's fine sure what happens if I type in social dweeb. Alright, I think that's fine. Social dweeb. Sure. What happens if I type in
social dweeb?
Will we get an image that looks exactly
like what you're trying to describe? Because that would be helpful.
Um.
Mmm.
Nothing.
There are some good
pictures that pop up.
But nothing. Like we got this one
which is just a bunch of weird
doobie looking people.
If any of those people that you just sent me showed up
and you said they look like they go to clubs,
I'd be like, you're out of your mind. There's no
way they go to a club.
Maybe somebody a little like this guy.
Alright,
that guy doesn't go. Alright, first off,
you know what? Fine, whatever. I'm not getting even funny. Yeah, sure, that guy loves clubbing all right first off you know what fine whatever i'm not getting
even funny yeah sure that guy loves clubbing i'm not saying clubs i'm just saying he goes
to like social gatherings okay sure yeah like the chess club no i get it like like the okay
whatever you're right he's he's not even really important in this story. Okay. So he's with this girl.
I think it's her,
her,
his friend or somebody,
or I don't know.
It's either his girlfriend or friend.
And she's like,
uh,
the type of person that definitely used to listen to Avril Lavigne.
Uh,
and just like kind of grungy and just,
she looked very out of it.
Okay. Like kind of like, it wasn't actually Av out of it. Okay.
Like kind of like whatever.
You sure it wasn't actually Avril Lavigne?
Yes.
What's she been up to?
I'm just asking.
That's true.
But this was definitely not her.
Sure, sure, sure.
So she was sitting at the bar with her feet like up on the edge of the bar.
Okay. Cool. Okay. like she had her shoes on but she was like kind of like how if you sit in your computer chair and you put your feet like on your keyboard or
like next to your keyboard by your desk or something in your chair like all crunched up
in a ball i don't do that but i'm aware it happens yeah those people do that she was doing that at
the bar okay so these two girls that just sat down next to her are like hey we're gonna do shots and
the bartender's like oh hey what's up so she knows this is a different bartender she comes over she's
like all right yeah she pours them shots pushes them over the girls, and they start talking to each other.
They haven't done them yet.
The girl, whose feet are on the bar, reaches over,
grabs one of their shots, like trying to do it subtly,
and just takes her shot.
What?
Yeah, like she stole the shot.
She stole the shot?
Yeah, she stole it.
And did she get away with it?
Well, after a second're like a couple seconds
they're talking they go and they see that the one shot's gone and then they're just like what
like the like wait what and then the bartender looks over and they're just like uh and then
she looks and she's like uh and then did you try to play it off? It's like, what happened to it? Yeah, so then the girl gets up,
and she's like, I gotta go out there,
and she, like, walked outside.
So she, like, walks outside
to the front of the restaurant,
and then everybody was like,
did she take the shot?
And then they're like, yeah,
she took the shot.
She stole it.
And then the guy was just like,
oh, man, I'm sorry. She's, like, been guy was just like oh man i'm sorry she's like
been drinking already and like i think she's just had too much to drink and then they're like uh
okay and then the bartender was like i mean all right so then she gave her another shot
and she's like all right here you go here's another shot uh the girl then proceeds to come back in from outside and this like new guy's walking in who looks like he plays magic the gathering
um and he's just like ah and she like walks into him and she's like excuse me and like bumps him
he's just like what and she like stumbles her way to the bathroom where they she then tries
to open the door and falls face first in like face plants into the ground
and like you heard a
visible like thunk
and everybody there's like 20 people there
everybody looks like huh they just see her
they're like uh
okay
so yeah
so
yes
I'm gonna let you continue I have just So, yeah. Yes.
I'm going to let you continue. I have just everyone there seems like a character from a non-real world.
Like, I don't know where the hell you're at.
This is all going down.
Yeah.
But it seems insane.
Yeah.
It gets crazier.
Oh, okay.
seems insane yeah it gets crazier okay so then this girl and this guy the guy gets up and he's like oh gee guy goes and like sees her and then she like walks back outside and they're like you
should probably go after and he's like yeah i think yeah that's probably the best thing and
then he just like pays and leaves and everybody's just like what the fuck and then the one guy's
like yo i know that girl she used to work at like italianos and they're like i think she still works at italiano or
whatever the shit it's called and then they're like oh yeah and they're like start talking about
i was like what like i i felt i thought i was in like a another fever dream there's been like
three guys we should all go to italiana so then these two girls uh
then the ones that got their shots stolen they order like three more shots on top of the because
they got their one replaced then they like did a shot with the bartender well um of course yeah
you know that seems like the place you were at yeah so theender starts. Apparently, one of the girls used to bartend.
And so they're, like, sharing bartender stories, like, right in front of us.
And so the bartender there is like, oh, yeah, like, my last job, I was bartending, and my husband was there.
And then this woman kept yelling at me.
And then my husband told her to calm down.
And then she threw a beer bottle at my husband,
and then I had to, like, go after her,
and then she tried to, like, hit me, and she hit me in the head,
and then I sued the bar, and she won, like, $5,000 or something.
And I was like, what the shit?
But then one of the girls who was taking the shots was like,
Oh yeah.
When I bartended in St.
Louis,
this one guy,
he had,
we used to serve drinks in Mason jars.
And one guy took his Mason jar,
broke it over a guy's head.
And then like kept hitting him with them.
Like with the broken glass.
Damn.
Yeah.
I was like,
what the fuck?
Uh, and so I was just like this is like free tv i was like writing this all down sounds like it again everything you're telling me you're just like
so yeah there i was i was at this bar a bunch of drunks are around but also everyone is a magic
the gathering player or some random party nerd.
Everything you're telling me is nonsense, and I'm here for it.
It was just the craziest mix of people.
So the one guy, then a song starts playing.
Everyone's like, wait, what song is this?
It's playing organ music.
And then I guess they skip the song right away.
And then someone's like, what's this song?
And the magic guy, the guy looks like he plays Magic the Gathering.
Literally like raised his beard and goes, it's Tool.
And then they're like, why did you find the most socially awkward bar in the entire history of bars?
It was, I have no idea.
There was also just a group of like normal people at the other
i think i was just on the crazy end that's just what happened there was also next to us like on
the other side just like this 60 year old drunk man that was just sitting there like expressionless
drinking his beers he like he was also just witnessing it all dude i was about to say he
was doing the exact same thing you were doing he was was like, I'm not going to be in it.
I just want to watch.
Yeah.
He said nothing.
Just did his thing.
He probably went on his podcast and talked about it.
He's like, you'll never believe what happened.
Yeah.
And there was, like, people eating at, like, normal tables.
Like, not at the bar.
And then, I know, they just, like, were doing their own thing.
They were just, you know. There were these two, like, women at the bar and then i know they just like were doing their own thing they were just you know
there's there's these two like women at the one bar they're like 70 but they're like three wines
in each and they were just like like they had that crazy laugh the like crazy bird laugh
uh not like my crazy bird where i'm like it was more like the... So then, my friend,
he had
like an Anheuser-Busch shirt on.
I don't know why.
He likes beer logos.
He drinks a lot of beer.
And so the one lady was like,
yo, do you know about
Anheuser-Busch? And he was like, nah,
I just like the logo and the shirt.
And she goes, yeah, well, Anheuser-Busch bought me dinner when I was nine. What? What? Yeah. And I was like,
wait, like the Anheuser-Busch. And she's like, yeah. And I was like, wait, hold on. So I looked up Anheuser-Busch, right? And he's, I'm pretty sure he was really old.
And so I was like, isn't he dead?
She's like, oh, it was like the family.
It was one of his family members.
And she's like, yeah, I was like nine years old.
And they met him and they just bought me dinner.
I don't know that I believe that story.
I don't know if i believe it either
which is why i was like isn't he dead and then she changed it to like well it was one of his
family members and i was like okay that's cool i mean she did bartend in st louis and it is in
st louis so like maybe i don't know maybe i mean all Yeah. So, then they're...
Then things, like, normalize for a while.
Then she's like, I'm going out for a smoke.
And then the girl she was
with, like, grabbed her thing
and tried to pull away. And she's like, what the fuck?
And then she, like, yanked it back.
And then she goes outside to smoke.
And then the girl's just like, I wish she'd quit smoking.
And I was like... I was like yeah smoking is bad
and then after that they left how long were you there for it's like two hours hour and a half
that sounds like the most intolerable i would be so over it in 20 minutes. No, I was, well, I was also like two beers in,
two, three beer.
So, you know.
Two, three beer.
Two, three beer.
I had two half pints.
So I guess that's what, that's like two,
it's like two, three beer.
That's like two, three beer.
Yeah.
So, you know, once you're at a point,
you're just kind of like, eh, whatever.
You're just kind of vibing.
It's like glance back at the tv you're
like hey look at this basketball um so yeah that was that all happened that night and uh that was
probably one of the crazier uh times i've eaten there there's been times eating there there's like
two other people there like nobody or just chilling that was actually there was a lot yeah man that's that sounds like a lot
sounds like a lot went down yeah there was a one other time we were there there was like a group
of college kids that came in and they all wanted hurricane shots i don't know if you know what
those are i think i do what are what is a hurricane shot that's where you take a shot and then the
bartender throws a glass of water in your face and slaps you.
Yeah, all right.
Never mind.
I did not know what a hurricane shot is.
Good thing I never was like, guys, we should order a hurricane shot.
So, yeah, numerous college kids were just like, yo, do it.
And they, like, take the shot, and then the bartender lady would just throw the water in their face and slap them.
Sure, sure, sure.
Yeah.
So, I didn't get any of those, but, you know.
I don't even know what to say to this.
Yeah.
That was it.
You had a night is what you had,
and it's one of the goofiest things I've ever heard.
Yeah.
No, that was a night in fact just like
it just kept going like i was like oh man that that's one funny thing and then like they just
it kept going on top of each other like if it would have just been the drunk girl
stealing a shot and falling over that would have been a story in itself but it was like
everything just kept stacking uh yeah that was that was my week well uh you know what would have made your
week better what having some great music in your ears while you were around you wouldn't have heard
any of that nonsense if you were listening to music with your raycon earbuds oh if you had your
everyday earbuds in you would have been able to ignore that entire conversation or secretly listen. True.
Because Raycons offer amazing quality audio at half the price of other premium audio brands.
If you don't believe me, believe there are tens of thousands of five-star reviews.
Raycons optimized gel tips are designed to fit comfortably into your ears and stay there.
That's the best part of it for me is that they actually
fit in my ears they stick there instead of usually when i have earbuds they kind of just fall out
over time it's nice that they actually stay there especially when i'm walking around or doing stuff
having them in and as i said awareness mode one of my favorite things on it is you can have them
in you can be listening to stuff but also still be listening to everything around you
so you can be aware of stuff. Like you would have been in
that bar, you could have been aware
and then they wouldn't have interacted with you at all.
That's true. I bet that
old man in the corner, that's what he was doing.
He probably was. Raycons come
with me wherever I go.
From 8 hours of
playtime to 32 hours of battery life.
You don't have to worry about whether they're up for the task
of wherever the hell you're going
there's 3 customizable sound profiles
earbud tap function, noise isolation
it's all there, it's so simple
and very affordable and probably would have made your night
a little bit better, or at least if I was there
it would have for sure
all you gotta do is go to buyraycon.com slash cox today would have made your night a little bit better. Or at least if I was there, it would have for sure. Yep.
All you got to do is go to buyraycon.com slash cox today
to get 20% off your Raycon order plus free shipping.
That's right.
You get 20% off and free shipping at buyraycon.com slash cox.
Buyraycon.com slash cox.
Let's go to chapter seven.
This guy, the Grand Dark Crandrendor has a traffic out there.
Oh, boy.
We got traffic.
It's going to be going crazy.
It's like spring break starting to happen, right?
So watch out for that.
Also, we just had daylight savings time.
That's pretty annoying.
Back to you.
Thanks, Grendor.
It is pretty annoying.
Although, apparently in Arizona, not a thing.
So, shout out to Arizona, living in a better world than the rest of us.
If only one day we will have it changed as well.
But today is not that day.
One day.
Arizona, you should be fighting for us.
Be like, it's better.
It's better here.
Do they have the The current time
Or do they not fall back or whatever
Because it's mountain time
So basically
They're the same time as me because they don't observe it
But I'm on the west coast
So they're one hour ahead but Arizona is actually not one hour ahead
Oh
Okay
I see
So in the winter
When we fall back It'll be 622 or whatever, and it'll still be 722 there.
I see. So they don't fall back.
Yeah. Interesting.
Yeah, that's what we need to do. We need to stop falling back.
I completely agree. In fact, I'd be fine if we did away with time zones altogether and everything was one time.
Yes.
And it's just like, look, in New York, you get up at 5 a.m.
That's just what it is or whatever.
We could do it on Greenwich Mean Time or whatever it is.
And if that's the case, then I'll be 9, 18, 20 hours behind.
I don't give a shit.
Like, yeah, I go to work at 2 a.m., you know, like, fine.
Fine.
Why can't we get on this page?
It's like, yeah, finally the sun's out at 2 a.m.
Yeah.
The world, it would be like wacky for a couple months.
People would figure it out.
And then you could say like, yeah, call me at 2 p.m.
And everyone would know what time that was
yeah
I mean you could really just break it down
into like everything it'd be like call me at
2pm Z and you'd be like
oh 2pm Z that's like over in
that region
you don't even have to you don't even have to say where it is
because everyone would know what 2pm was
oh yeah
2pm for everyone yeah you're right, yeah. Because 2 p.m. would be 2 p.m. for everyone.
Yeah, you're right.
Oh, yeah, this is easy.
So easy.
Yeah, sure, it might be sunny at, you know, 3 a.m.
Yeah.
But that's because 3 a.m. is your daytime.
Yeah.
I'm just saying, if the southern hemisphere can have winter when the northern hemisphere has summer and somehow it still works then why can't
we figure this out it's it might be insane but at least we'd be insane together exactly
and we're already insane yeah man let's have this world um also i wanted to bring up, there are two new Nick Cage movies they've added to the...
What are the movies?
One is Arsenal.
What? I don't even know what that is.
It's where Nick Cage looks like he's wearing a fake mustache and a toupee.
2017 film. Never heard of this before, but okay.
Yeah, it's got a 4.0 out of 10.
Amazing. Amazing.
Do you see him in the toupee?
I do see it.
I see him in the mustache as well.
Looks good.
Yep.
What's crazy is this.
It has John Cusack.
The movie has like people in it.
Oh, yeah, it does.
John Cusack.
I think he's the only other person.
I think it has the guy.
What was that TV show that was on?
Oh, my God. It was on HBO for a while. Entourage. It has the
Entourage guy in it. Oh is that Adrian
Grenier? Yes yes yes
yes that guy. Oh okay
I mean yeah look at that. So that's on
Amazon now. Whoa
apparently Nick Cage
is reprising his role
from the 1993 film Deadfall.
What?
So this is a character he's played for a long time.
Oh.
All right, then.
I just collect he's got more.
And then the other movie was Snake Eyes from 1998.
What is this movie about?
This one has Gary Sinise for some reason.
Yeah.
A mystery thriller.
A shady police detective finds himself in the middle of a murder conspiracy
at an important boxing match in Atlantic City Casino.
Oh, boy.
That sounds lovely.
Yeah.
And the preview one I saw was just Nick Cage being like,
Oh, it's time for boxing.
He's like screaming.
Oh, these sound good.
These sound like very watchable films.
Yes.
So now we do.
We at least got some watchable movies back on.
I'm excited.
I'm excited for this.
That's the traffic.
All right. Let'm excited for this. That's the traffic. All right.
Let's go to weather.
Weather.
I saw the most upvoted weather request was weather request for Cheddar Somerset,
birthplace of cheddar cheese and home to Cheddar Gorge,
where Britain's oldest complete human skeleton was found, and there's a cave
called Cox's Cave.
Okay, I like this. I like
where we're going. Yeah.
So,
we go to Cheddar Somerset. I don't even
know where this is. Oh, it's England. Okay.
What?
Yes. It's England. No, nothing.
Just I thought you knew that,
and the fact that you were like, oh, it's England is very funny to me.
Well, what's Somerset?
It's like another thing for England?
Isn't it like a, I don't want to say it's a township.
It's like a, you know, a county or something.
It's one of those things.
It's very, it's close to, as far as I'm aware, it's close to Bristol, question mark?
Ah, okay.
Currently in Cheddar, 44 degrees Fahrenheit.
Feels like 41.
Humidity 98%. Pressure 29.58 inches.
2.5 mile visibility.
Winds at 6 miles an hour.
Dew point 44.
UV index 0 of 11.
And a moon phase of new moon.
6.32 a.m. sunrise. 6.09 p.m. sunset.
New moon.
10-day.
Tomorrow, Monday, 50 degrees with rain.
Or no, 50 degrees cloudy.
Tuesday, 56 with rain.
Wednesday, 57 rain.
Thursday, 56 rain.
Friday, 57 rain.
Saturday, 56 rain.
Every day is like mid-50s with rain.
That sounds like the UK.
Yeah, which, I mean, honestly, that sounds great to me,
although I do like a few sunny days mixed in.
So that's...
I'm very impressed that they somehow managed to cram
the Dragon's House next to the Spice Cottage.
Both not nearly as cool as you would think.
The Dragon House Chinese restaurant, Spice Cottage is Indian restaurant.
But, you know, I figured it could be, you know, it could be fun, but no.
Yeah, oh yeah, I see it, the Dragon House.
Meanwhile, you got places like the Gorge Bakehouse.
By the way, the Gorge Bakehouse is a weird name for a bakery,
but I like it a lot.
It looks delicious.
They got a bunch of delis that look delicious.
But more importantly, the Cheese Cottage.
Oh, yeah, the Cheese Cottage.
I love the Cheese Cottage.
They got just piles of cheese, and the building is yellow, which I'm here for.
That is bad.
I guess everything is based off the cheddar, right?
Because it's cheddar cheese.
It's the cheddar town.
I mean, yeah, there's the Cheese Cottage, Cheddar, the Gorge, Somerset.
Oh, yeah.
Look at that Cheese Cottage.
Get real.
Cheddar Cider.
What is it?
Scrumpy Brand Cider. Scrumpy? Screddar cider. What is it? Scrumpy brand cider.
Scrumpy.
Scrumpy.
That's what it says.
Scrumpy.
Scrumpy.
Also, are you on the cheese cottage page?
Yes.
Scroll all the way down.
There's a little felt critter in the Santa hat, like a mouse or something.
I don't know what the hell this rat guy is, but I love him, and I wish that I had him.
On all the way down.
Yeah, you can tell because
he's like a little furry rat guy with big googly
eyes. What? Hold on, I don't see
him. I see outside pictures.
Well, not all the way.
Like in the middle. In the middle.
You should have said the middle. Why are you saying all the way down?
I figured if you were scrolling, you would have seen the rat guy.
He said scroll all the way down, so I was just power scrolling
to the bottom. Okay, hold on.
You can't power scroll. That's too much scrolling.
Oh, I see him. Yeah, I love that guy.
That is a great guy.
I would definitely purchase one of those.
Right? He's a little cutie pie.
Yeah.
You can also buy rocks there, apparently.
Cheddar rocks.
Cheddar rocks. I don't know why you would buy rocks, but you can buy rocks there, apparently. Cheddar rocks. Cheddar rocks.
I don't know why you would buy rocks, but you can buy rocks.
Is that the thing?
Oh, you can also go in Cox's Cave and Crystal Quest.
There it is, Cox's Cave.
I'm here for a place called Cox's Cave where you can go on a crystal quest.
I wonder what... Are you trying to find the crystal or is the
crystal empowering your quest? The crystal
is giving you the quest, dude.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense. The crystal quest
that's a Final Fantasy
game. Final Fantasy Crystal Quest.
That makes sense why it'd be in your cave then.
Right. Now that checks out.
Yeah.
There's a lot of caves here and there's a
what is this?
It looks like an outdoor diner called Rock Face.
Rock Face.
And then there's the Gorge Cafe.
And the Gorge Cafe, of course, looks delicious
because all these little cafes in the middle of England are delicious.
Cheddar Gorge.
Oh, then there's the Rock Tea Room.
Rock Tea?
I would have loved to have done high tea with you.
I'm so disappointed we didn't do that.
That's true.
That would have been great.
I think you doing high tea would be a treat.
I probably would love high tea.
That's what I'm saying.
Tucker's.
That would be hilarious.
Tucker's Takeaway Cheddar.
Every one of these.
That seems like that would just be like a fish place, right?
Yeah, it's just fish.
The fish and chips.
Yeah, I see it now.
Definitely.
Yeah, anytime I hear Takeaway, I always am like, all right, fried.
It's fried food.
It is fried, yeah.
Lion Rock Tea Cheddar Holiday Cottage.
The Shepherd's Hut.
Oh, it's just a hut.
Yeah, this is actually, Cheddar's kind of small.
Although, on the map it looks like there's a giant black hole in the middle of Cheddar,
and only now do I realize it's a reservoir, but like, it looked like a hole in the map.
It does look like a hole.
Because usually water is a different color, but this was just like, nope, nope, it's a hole in the earth.
Yeah, it's just cheddar hole.
I mean, cheese has holes.
Yeah, but not cheddar cheese.
Yeah, I'd know.
But cheese.
Touche.
They got the Bath Arms.
Bath Arms Hotel.
That's just a fun name.
I mean, there is literally a city right nearby called Bath.
Oh.
Maybe it's there.
It's a thing.
Yeah.
You can go see the Roman ruins, the Roman baths.
Wait, they didn't have the Romans?
Yeah, they did.
The Romans were in England.
Oh, were they?
They built Hadrian's Wall.
Hey, Hadrian.
Bath is literally where the Roman baths were.
Oh, well.
You learn something new every day.
Great.
That's the weather.
Okay, let's go to sports.
Sports.
Oh, boy.
We've got ourselves some sports.
Also, before sports, I was about to close it, and I saw the Cliffs Public Toilets,
and they have a 2.3
out of 5.
I mean, yeah, I'm going to assume
a public toilet is not going to
get above a 3.
Somebody said the most
disgusting toilet which I've seen this
year.
I see so many bad toilets,
dude. Let me tell you,
a lot of disgusting toilets.
Someone said absolutely stank when we were there.
Clearly not clean up.
Yeah, again, it's a public toilet.
What do you expect?
Of course it's going to stink.
Expect pain.
Yeah.
In fact, somebody said dirty toilets, one urinal blocked,
wall tiles covered in small dead flies, and hand washers not working.
Disgraceful for a popular destination.
This was Julian Cox, by the way.
You know what?
He's right, though.
That's, I mean, like, something about him.
Do you have a cousin named Julian?
I mean, I do have a cousin, yes, yeah.
My family is from there.
Well, they're from Cork County, Ireland, but that's close enough.
There's a lot of Cox's in the UK.
Yeah, this could be one of your relatives.
I do wonder if in the UK someone's like, you know, if you post with the last name Cox,
you don't get a response from some guy who's like penis.
Cool.
Awesome, dude.
Is it a more common name in the UK where people kind of get it?
I would imagine so.
Yeah.
Or they just still like your last name also means dingle dangle.
You know, I mean, they probably still do that.
Can't we be better than this?
Can't we be better than this? Can't we be better than this?
No.
Then,
we have sports.
Over in sports, we got NFL
free agency about to start.
The trades, the free
agency is about to be NFL offseason.
Very fun.
We got
BBB
standings in the NBA
here. We've got the
Boston Celtics, still the best team
in the NBA
atop the East. And then the Oklahoma City
Thunder, 45-19,
the best team in the West with the Timberwolves and the
Nuggets a game behind them.
Over in hockey,
we've got the Florida Panthers and the Boston Bruins top teams over in the East. And in the
West, you got the best teams as the Canucks and the Dallas Stars. So that is that. And then
spring training starting up in baseball. So baseball is rolling again.
So all the sports are going right now.
In the next time of the year where everything's kind of chugging along.
Yeah.
And that is sports.
Okay.
What is our fact of the day?
Fact of the day.
Day.
Day. Day. Day.
Day.
Day.
Got threatening there at the end.
Day.
Day.
I figured I'd look up some March facts, because we're in March now.
Well, of course.
Yeah.
March was once considered the first month of the year.
Why did they change that?
I guess you'll tell us.
Yes.
It says, welcome to the third month of the year,
or if you were born before 150 BC, the first.
According to the oldest Roman calendars,
one year was 10 months long, beginning in March, ending in December.
May sound crazy, but you can still see traces of this old system
in our modern calendar because December was the 10th month.
It was named for the number 10 in Latin, Decem.
Decem.
Decem.
D-E-C-E-M.
I mean, Deca is like 10.
That's the baseline.
Okay.
Just like September was named for 7.
Sure.
And January and February were the exceptions.
They were two nameless months called winter
proving that
winter is literally so awful it doesn't
deserve a spot on the calendar.
July is Julius
Caesar. August is his son,
Augustus. Yeah. So I'm trying
to figure out when this all was, but I guess in the end
it doesn't really matter. It's still 12 months.
Yeah. But there's a
let's see.
What would April be?
April?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I guess we could look up how did April get its name.
Origin of April.
The English word April comes from the Latin aprilis.
The name...
To open like flowers in spring.
Oh, okay.
So I guess that's...
And then where does May come from?
The Roman goddess Maya.
Maya?
Maya?
Whoever saw the growth of the plants.
All right.
So April is their springing.
And May is the plants are like, it's plant time.
But then where did March come from?
Mars. Roman war. Yeah, Mars. Gotcha, gotcha, it's plant time. But then where did March come from? Mars.
Roman War.
It's the earliest.
Yes, there's Mars.
Where did June come from?
It's Jupiter's wife. I don't know what
Juno does.
I'm not sure what Juno does.
But it's Jupiter's wife and Jupiter was
basically the Zeus of Rome.
Oh, it's the Roman goddess Juno.
Yeah, I don't know what Juno does.
The goddess of marriage and the life of Jupiter.
Okay.
And then July was Julius Caesar.
August was Augustus.
September was seven, as you said.
October is eight, oct, right?
Yeah.
November, I don't know.
Is November 9?
Meaning it is 9.
Yeah, it means 9.
December 10.
They really got lazy there at the end.
The first couple months
were like, named after a glorious god.
And then they were like,
7, 8, 9, 10. Yeah. It works. months are like named after a glorious god or like you know and then they were like uh seven eight
nine ten yeah that works whatever that is pretty funny it's just like our our staple months now
that we just know is those things but that's literally their origin that's our fact of the day. And, uh, just really quickly, Janice is what January is named after.
And Janice is the god of beginnings and time and passaging and stuff like that.
And February, I got to look this up.
February is the Roman festival of purification. Oh, okay, cool. Named after the Roman Festival of Purification.
Oh, okay, cool.
Named after the Roman god of Februs.
Who the hell's Februs?
The god of purification.
Okay, well, there we go.
February is a weird, that's a weird month.
That is a weird month.
You must be purified.
Like, okay, all right.
Which is also the Valentine's month where everyone's banging.
So they want to purify you, but then you're banging.
But also, more importantly, still, January through May are like, or actually June, all
like gods, everything's cool.
And then throw in two Roman emperors.
And then it's like, and then the rest just numbers.
Like, who cares?
Yeah.
That's pretty goofy.
That is pretty goofy.
Alright, what's our big news story of the day?
Big news story
of the day.
Yeah.
This one is pretty goofy.
This is fresh off the presses.
Man named Deez Nuts arrested in Green Bay charged with battery.
That can't be his name.
It is.
A man in Green Bay with a one-of-a-kind first name
was taken into custody after an alleged disturbance on the east side.
According to a criminal complaint obtained by Local 5,
42-year-old Deez Nuts Kroll was arrested.
Did he change his name?
I don't.
It can't be named Deez Nuts.
He had to have changed his name, right?
According to a criminal complaint obtained by the thing,
he was arrested following an incident involving a gun.
On March 5th, around 10 p.m.,
officers were sent to the 900 block of East Walnut Street
for a reported disturbance.
When they got to the scene,
two people were brought to a squad car and placed in the back.
Additionally,
they took Kroll into custody and he was reportedly standing outside with no shirt on. The complaint
says that Kroll appeared to be highly intoxicated, but he did follow officer's commands. It was
also mentioned that the authorities identified Kroll by his Wisconsin ID card, which said
these nuts, Lee Kroll.
Did he change his name to that?
I just can't fathom it.
I don't know.
Maybe he just wrote it in.
His name's Lee Kroll, but he just wrote Deez Nuts in front of it.
Sure.
Sure.
The two people who were originally brought to a squad car said they were arguing with Kroll over the phone around 8 p.m.
Two hours later, around 10 p.m., they found the door to the
residence was locked. One person said that Kroll opened the door and punched them with a closed
fist in the shoulder. This led to an altercation, according to the complaint. At one point, Kroll
allegedly got a gun. Authorities later took the gun, and evidence found it was a CO2 BB gun.
It was reportedly loaded and had eight silver 4.5 millimeter BBs.
When authorities interviewed Kroll, they claimed
that it was apparent he was talking
in circles. Throughout the official
complaint, Kroll was referred to as
these nuts.
I
both love and
hate this. Because it is
exactly the kind of story I want,
but exactly the kind of story that want, but exactly the kind of story
that I'm like, but why, but why?
Yeah.
And if I had to answer, I, it would probably be drugs.
You know what I mean?
Like, what are you, what am I supposed to say?
It's gotta be drugs.
Uh, that's good.
Let's see.
Hold on.
There's, does anybody have any information?
There's got to be something about this guy.
Also, Mr. Beast apparently reacts to man named Deez Nuts getting arrested.
Wait, so you said...
And I guess he's mad.
Mr. Beast is mad because Deez Nuts is the name of a brand of his chocolate bars or some nonsense.
How can you be mad?
That's like a really common thing.
Right?
Like that's been a meme for forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I think MrBeast is just joking.
But they said a man named Deez Nuts was arrested.
And he said he should change his name before he gets sued.
And everyone is taking it out of context or whatever.
I see.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know the internet.
The internet.
You know, you know.
But hey, at least we can rest easy knowing that Deez Nuts is off the streets.
Yeah.
Well, thank God.
Yeah. Now Neil the Seal can go back out into the streets again. Thank God. Yeah. Well, thank God. Yeah.
Now Neil the Seal can go back out into the streets again.
Thank God.
Yeah, he's not going to get harassed by these nuts.
Yeah.
That's your big news story of the day.
Great, great.
All right, well, that's it for us.
Thanks so much for listening or watching or enjoying this podcast.
Crendor, hit them with the socials.
Folks, we got socials.
Go to youtube.com slash coxandcrendorpodcast.
All one word.
You can find all the episodes.
Go listen to last week's Neil the Seal episode.
Learn about him.
There's obviously Hank the Tank.
There's a whole bunch of wacky, fun characters
that you've probably missed out on
by not listening to all these.
These wacky, fun characters.
That are real people, not actors or animals.
Also, there's the
animations. YouTube.com slash
Cox and Crendor. No podcast
at the end of it. You can also
find us on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud,
all your favorite podcast
things, except for probably a couple of them.
Also, we're on our
own things. Patreon, Jesse Cox. Patreon,
Crendor. YouTube, Jesse Cox. YouTube, Crendor. YouTube, Jesse Cox.
YouTube, Crendor.
Twitch, Jesse Cox.
Twitch, Crendor.
Twitter, Jesse Cox.
Twitter, Crendor.
Facebook, Jesse Cox.
Facebook, Crendor.
X, Twitter, Jesse Cox.
Crendor.
Instagram, Notorious Cox.
Instagram, Crendor was taken.
TikTok, Crendor.
TikTok, Jesse Cox.
TikTok.
And yes.
You know what?
That might be the best promotion you've done.
Hey, thank you.
I'm on my A game.
You got it out.
Yeah, yeah.
You're post-cold.
You're back.
Yeah, the cold really revitalized me in ways I never thought possible.
Yeah, you now appreciate life a little bit more.
Yeah, and that'll last for a little bit.
All right. Well, that's it. Thanks so much, everybody. We'll see a little bit. All right.
Well, that's it.
Thanks so much, everybody.
We'll see you next time.
And as always, shake the rhino.
To be continued.