D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #5 King of the Ghouls

Episode Date: October 22, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes desecrate a tomb. We open some chests, discover some history of the world and discover a new Adam noise. Cassius has to make a tough choice, Zillie wants to learn ho...w to turn into a bear and Edrik won’t be telling anyone if Daniel dies. So join us as we throw napalm at a ghost. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Sanspice Radio, don't build a well on a hill. Also, if you want to listen to Jackson DMing his way through a dinosaur-themed park adventure, we've got a couple of announcements. Dinosaur Park, the 1986 tabletop RPG, is now available for free on iTunes. The first four episodes are available right now, and every subsequent episode will be released every Saturday. Of course, the complete adventure is available on the Patreon Dropbox or at sanspantsradio.podkeep.com. And speaking of Podkeep, the direct sequel, Dinosaur World,
Starting point is 00:00:48 the post-apocalyptic RPG for ages 10 and up, is available for a limited price of £12.50. We also have a very limited run of USB tapes over at audiobooksontape.com because after we'd sent everything off to the printer, we found out that Jackson had another installment in the works to complete, and I quote, his trilogy. So, as of recording, there's only 10 left, has exclusive cover art,
Starting point is 00:01:13 and each purchase will have early access to Dinosaur Universe when that's ready as a digital download. All the links are in the show notes. Now, enjoy the show. Welcome to episode 5 of Hus Firma Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously. Writhing tentacles protrude from its head. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Growing direct. As you wish. Huh? You wish. God. Wesley's got attitude. Let's not forget this. Let's not recall the sentence of Griff,
Starting point is 00:01:45 who's rotting in a barrel far away from here. Edric, you just hear someone whisper the words into your ear. Get out. And then the torch goes out. What is that, a cantrip? I literally asked Adam, as Griff, for the worst spells, and I did five. Your spell's useful.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Four less points of strength. Oh, whoa. They must be infeasible. It's poison. It's a spider. I've got no concept of honor. Yeah. A what?
Starting point is 00:02:18 You agreed, Adam. It's too late. Daniel starts freaking out as well because he turns into a bear. I put my hands up like, it's fine. I think she's a bear forever. We've lost her.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Let's put her out of her misery. Someone get the crossbow. What curse is this? Are you a werewolf? I roll my bear eyes and lollop off through the web. Through the webbing that you're becoming more and more entangled in, you can see more of the cave network beyond. Let's chuff on off.
Starting point is 00:02:48 I'll head on through the caves. Okay, so I'm just going to stop you right there because you get entangled again in the web. Oh my goodness. Eventually you figure out that you just need a burn. I get the tension. Yeah, that's right. I'm no longer holding my torch.
Starting point is 00:03:02 The corridor ends in a T-intersection going north and south. Let's go... Past the webs. Yeah, past the webs, moving past the webs. T-intersection going north and south. Can I caaaas... Can you talk to... I'm an animal, I can't cast shit.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I just stand there on my haunches like... I don't know where to go next. Cassius, do you want to go south? Mr. Fists is still on your shoulder. That's like a bear walking along with Mr. Fists on my head. I'm imagining you open your mouth
Starting point is 00:03:41 every now and then and Mr. Fists cleans in between your teeth. We're a fucking Disney movie right now. I was like, Cassius, do you want to take Mr. Fist and Wesley south and we'll go north? And if you get into trouble, Wesley will know and we'll come. Yeah. Likewise, Wesley, is the communication both ways? Well, I'm looking at you, Wesley.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Zilly, is the communication both ways? In what sense? Can he talk to me? No, he feels that you're in danger. What spell is this, sorry? You're familiar. If Zilly's in danger, you can communicate danger. The effect lasts for about, I think it's 100 miles. That's a long way. If you're in danger, if, the effect lasts, uh, for about a, I think it's a hundred miles.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Okay. So if you're in danger, if we're in danger, if we come across something, Wesley, I want you to tap Cassius on the paw back. Right. I'll explain this to Wesley. Cause I don't think you can. I'm explaining it to you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Okay. Tap right. And then Cassius come to us. All right. Wait, are we splitting up? Yeah. Why? Which way do we go, Daniel?
Starting point is 00:04:50 We try both directions. It's foolish to split up this group. Who do you think you are, Fred? I ain't no Daphne, motherfucker. I was like, where are we going? Oh, Scooby-Doo. Okay, let's go north then. Okay, you head north first.
Starting point is 00:05:09 You come to like another stone door. This one is also engraved with some sort of elf. Different one, but similarly like, you know, created door. There's no ice on this one. You want to, you can use your words. Cassius, do you want to open that door? I want to cast a history, that elf again. I won't be able to communicate it, but I might know.
Starting point is 00:05:33 You still don't. I burst through the door. You burst through or you open? I burst through. He's a bear. He can't open a door. I can't open a door. I'd just be like, meh, with my little bear hands.
Starting point is 00:05:44 You might have to because you failed to break the door down. I turn around and give you a sheepish bear look. I open the door. Is it a push-in door or a pull-out door? It's got like a push-down handle. I push down the handle and open the door? Yeah, open the door. Okay, so...
Starting point is 00:06:03 What are we fighting now? We're Not fighting none A trap door opens beneath you I'll say Cassius probably has Her hind feet Such that you don't fall Into the trap proper But Edric you definitely do fall
Starting point is 00:06:22 Having a rogues sucks How good are rogues? It was like this bit. Side story. Remind me of this later. I'll forget. We all will. Yeah, you will.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Ooh, okay. So, you fall about 15 feet and take four points of damage. That's not too bad. Yeah, that's not that bad. Appear over. Oh, my God. Hoist. Give me a bear paw.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Can my bear paw reach? It's 15 feet. It's pretty far. You might need some rope. All my hempen rope is inside me currently. I like mime. Oh, God. All like mime. Oh god. Alright, Adam.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I mime patting my pockets. Cassius, you get weaker. Oh yeah, I'm poisoned. I don't even remember I'm poisoned. Oh no, another full point. You're like weakier than you are as Cassius. Cassius. You're a bear.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Vicks Vaporub? Is that what you were miming? You have cure poison. But then you've got to not be a bear, so look, I don't know. That's up to you. I can't communicate this at all. Nope.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Do I have cure poison? I have detect poison. You can definitely feel the sickness in your veins. Like your body is heating up uncomfortably. Despite the fact that it's terrifically cold in here. I feel sick. There's like this pounding in your head.
Starting point is 00:07:56 I don't think it'll fix poison. Cure. Daniel, can you throw me a... Cure wounds don't affect poisons. Daniel, can you throw me a rope? Yeah, I'll throw you down. Spells don't affect poisons. Never mind. Daniel, can you throw me a rope? Yeah, I'll throw you down a rope. Daniel, yeah, Daniel or one of them lowers you a rope. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Cool. And you climb up. I think I'm getting... I think that spider bite did something to me. Oh, you poisoned too? Yeah, they both got bit. Oh, they got it. Do we have...
Starting point is 00:08:20 Oh, you can see now, because the door was open, you can see into the room beyond. It's very similar to the one... Shut up. It's very similar to the one that had the cave-in, except this room doesn't have a cave-in and is complete. You can just see rows of corpses. A lot of the room is cast in shadow because you're not in the room proper or in the light and stuff. But it looks like it might...
Starting point is 00:08:41 This one also might only have one entrance exit. Sort of call out hello again. Nothing. You can actually, now that all that business with the trap door is over, you guys can start hearing the... Oh, my God. Again. Kind of take a step in and look around with a light.
Starting point is 00:09:01 I don't know how to fix you, Ben. You step across the trap? Yep. Okay. Yeah, you can do that. It's like a light jump, but you can do it. Can I? You can...
Starting point is 00:09:10 Yeah, it's not that big a jump. I have delay poison. Which delays it for five hours because I'm level five. But I'm already eight points of strength down. So, like, I'm just... I guess it'll stop it getting worse. Yeah, well... And I'd have to stop'll stop it getting worse. Yeah, well. And I'd have to stop being a bear as well.
Starting point is 00:09:27 That's true. You can't give up being a bear. That's my biggest dilemma. What does Cassius want to do? Stay a bear. Then just stay in a bear. You motherfucker. I'm just going to become so weak I just fall asleep.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Kill up. Kill up and die. You get zero strength strength you become paralyzed how do I get strength back out? this poison well yeah even with limited knowledge you understand with this poison it'll probably like just slowly come back to you
Starting point is 00:09:56 day by day it'll take you 8 days to fully recover though whoa that's a lot alright unless you find like a cleric who can help you mistra could help you actually she knows a lot about this if you can get back to her she can fully heal you
Starting point is 00:10:13 I'm gonna come out of being a bear it's three days though I'm super unhappy about it though god damn it as soon as you turn back into a bear the curse is lifted! I give him just like a look like, Shut up!
Starting point is 00:10:29 I'm gonna cast Stop Poison or whatever it is on me. For those of you... I'm not sure if it helps you after the fact. It stops it getting worse, I think. Oh, um... Where is it? Neutralize.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Oh, no, it's neutralize. Could have used that before. Where the fuck are you? Reduce poison. I saw you before. It's in alphabetical order. Like, it's not that hard. Christ, Jack.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I'm looking at it now. Subject comes time frame means poison. Any poison in the system? No, wait. I thought I had one. Maybe you're thinking of this one. I wasn't thinking of neutral. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:10 So you become... No, no, no. I just read it. You become temporarily immune, but any poison that's already affected you continues to affect you. Whatever. It's not going to get worse. Yeah, so you're going to cast that on yourself?
Starting point is 00:11:20 Yeah. Okay. What did you just do then? Now the poison's not going to get worse. We're poisoned we're both poisoned do that to me sure oh thank god i'll do it the same okay do i feel better you don't feel better you don't feel worse yeah you don't feel worse but you don't feel better either um in this room uh you can like you can see up against set up against the opposite wall
Starting point is 00:11:42 is this magnificent well maybe not completely golden, you haven't checked, but golden statue of the same elf that you saw on the door. It's like insanely intricately carved. And at the base of it, there are two chests. Cassius. Yes? Quick question. Yes. As an aside.
Starting point is 00:12:02 I'm listening. Are you a werebear? It's just a druid thing, mate. Once a day I can become a bear. I tried to make that clear as a bear, but clearly. Oh. Yeah. No such thing.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Well, there is such thing as a werebear, but I'm not one. Yes, Zellie? I'd like to look at you longingly because I'm like, I want to learn how to turn into a bear. That's magic magic. Can you teach me that magic? Do you ask me that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Oh, yeah. And then you'll probably have to explain it. I will sit you down and explain that. Sit me down like you're telling me my parents are dead. Go on. Look, Zilly, you know, you're a sorceress. I'm a druid. It's different magic.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Okay. So you're not. You could theoretically teach her. Eventually I could make you a bear, I guess. It's not that good. It's pretty good. It's actually the bloody best. I just have this moment where I realize,
Starting point is 00:12:52 I'm like, oh, that's why, mister, I loved you more. This is super awkward. I'm going to open one of those chests. No, it's all right. I'll figure it out. I'm going to inspect the chest, or are you just going to open one? I'm just going to barrel in and chuck one open. It's going to be a mimic.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Oh, my God. That's your bloody dollar. That's your sand dollar. A sand dollar? It's a kind of fish. No, it isn't. Oh. You open the chest, and as you open it, it gives this creaking sound,
Starting point is 00:13:20 and you also feel like you hear, get out. No! You're not the boss of me, ghost! Inside the chest is a set of tools. You have no idea what they're for. Thieves' tools? It's an elaborate large set of tools. I pointed out to you guys
Starting point is 00:13:38 and shrug. Do I know? Nope. Does anyone know? Nope. Does anyone know? Does anyone know? Sure, yeah, right about now. Nope. What do the tools look like?
Starting point is 00:13:53 If you had to guess, you think they might be torture implements? You can't imagine. There's a complete set of different tongs and scissors, and you can't imagine that they could be used for anything other than inflicting pain. They look wicked and awful. Let's leave them. Best not. Best not.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Touch them. Chest number deuce. I ready my war hammer. I fling it open. Still mad that I'm no longer a bear. Who's standing next to the chest? I'm opening it. Shuck a nut.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Is anyone standing next to it? I bet he's going to open it and it's going to be Cure Light. Exactly how far away are you? Five feet, Edric. How far away are you, Zilly? Eight feet. Now you've got to align to the grid, mate.
Starting point is 00:14:38 It's intervals of five. Of five? I get ten then. Okay, ten feet away. You open the chest, and this one is identical. But it just says get out, and there's torture in front of it. No, nothing. Like, inside is identical, but you don't hear that get out sound. It's just a random shrug.
Starting point is 00:14:55 What is in it? Just the same bloody tools from before. Okay. Now, you all hear it? This wailing, moaning noise coming from the doorway you all came through get out everything goes dark oh my god
Starting point is 00:15:09 I assume you're going to just straight away light it again of course yeah I think all I'll be like all three of us
Starting point is 00:15:18 let's light a torch so do you all have torches to light I don't actually want torches oh yeah wait hold on. I have alchemist's fire. Yeah, alchemist's fire is like a...
Starting point is 00:15:29 It's like a bomb. I'm not going to throw an alchemist's fire. It's napalm. I might throw it at the ghost, but... Hang on. I have paper. That's not going to help. I can start a fire, but I have nothing to hold.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Okay, so, so, so, so, when you light the torch again, I can start a fire but I have nothing to hold okay so when you light the torch again Edric you distinctly see like the outline of a figure like a tall lanky figure with long matted black hair wearing some sort of like white robe
Starting point is 00:16:01 standing in the doorway but then like in an instant, it's gone. Ghosts! I'm going to chase it. You didn't see it. You didn't see it. Oh, that's true. I did.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Only Edric saw it. I still yell ghosts. I'm just going to draw my wall hammer and just have it there, ready to swing. Cool. Why'd you take out your hammer? I describe what I saw. I chase after it. Okay, well, you gonna jump across the gap again?
Starting point is 00:16:29 Oh, it went back, did it? It was in the doorway, and then it just disappeared. In the doorway, standing on the pit trap, I'd like to say. Don't chase the ghost. I don't think it was a ghost. It wasn't ethereal. Well, then we can corner it. Potentially. That's enough for me! I'll jump
Starting point is 00:16:50 the pit trap. You don't need to roll. I'm gonna just run until, because it was a dead end, yeah? We fought the crawling chaos. There was a key intersection that you came from. Yeah, you can run, like, back the way you came or the other direction. Can I try and track it? Can I track a ghost?
Starting point is 00:17:05 It's not a ghost! Can I detect magic? You detect no tracks in the dust. Yeah, can I just... On the stone floor. Can I... Will detect magic help at all? You can try.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Do you remember how many spells you've used today, by the way? I wrote them down. Oh, good for you. Because I'm a good girl. You are. I post you, Jackson. I never did. Get another gold star, Ali.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Back to gold scars. I had infinite Opposed to Jackson. I never did. Get another gold star, Ali. Had infinite spells because Adam didn't pay enough attention. You don't want that. What? Nothing, nothing. Carry on. How many? You get negative gold star. How many zero level spells do I have? I got a black hole. Okay, so one of the columns says spells
Starting point is 00:17:41 slash day. That's how many. Yeah, it says six. Yeah, I'd like to use detect magic please. Okay, so one of the columns says spells slash day. That's how many. Yeah, it says six. Yeah, I'd like to use detect magic, please. Okay. So you concentrate on trying to detect the magic around you, say some magical words. There's like, like you detected this before and you saw a faint aura of necromancy from everywhere.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Guys, there's necromancies everywhere. I'm not going to taste them. Other than that, though, you can't detect any other types of magic. Have we been to every room yet? Go to the other end of the intersection. After you passed the spiders, you got to that T intersection. You turned right.
Starting point is 00:18:20 There's still the left. I'm going to run that way. Just on your own? Nobody followed me. Good. I'm going to follow you. Cassius, hold. Guy, I turn to Daniel and Zilly.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Yeah. Yeah. Be cautious, okay? Just watch your rear guard, okay? Okay. All right. I want to be, like, very, like, showing, like, I'm an independent lady who follows instructions occasionally.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Yeah, whatever. Sometimes you got to. Yeah. Yeah, you give that look that says I'm an independent lady who follows instructions sometimes. Just that look. That classic look. Everyone here can just close their eyes, not if you're driving,
Starting point is 00:18:58 close your eyes and just imagine that look. Do I get that look to understand what you're saying? No. Because I don't understand that look, to be honest. No. Good. I nod. To be honest, you should misinterpret that look, actually.
Starting point is 00:19:11 You did pretty poorly on that one. Are you hitting on me? All right. Daniel, stay close to me. You're like, so weird. Daniel charges off to Cassius. Daniel, stay close to Zilly. No.
Starting point is 00:19:25 You can hear his, like, heavy footfalls. I chase after... Yes, I guess I chase after you two assholes. I'm going to fight you, ghost. Face me like a man. Okay, you keep walking, and you come to another one of those, the iron doors with
Starting point is 00:19:46 a, like an engraving of an elf I'm gonna roll again, I'm gonna find, figure out one of these Hey! Hey! Who is this? Finally! Who is it? Some guy Some fucking guy Some elf. Some elf cunt
Starting point is 00:20:01 He was his champion. Hey, what up mate? He was a spooky man who was actually not a man, but an elf. And he turned into a spider. Is that what I learned? It's like, he was a ghost and is a ghost and is behind you. He's always appearing behind you, especially you, Cassius. And then I punched the door to death, because how dare it know my name. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Rude. You know the elf as, I'm going to butcher the pronunciation here. Elves listening will mind. Gade Haroth Karmseer. Gade Haroth. Gade H-R-O-T-H. Yeah, Karmseer. Karm.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Like the opposite of what you are. Karmseer. Do I know anything about him? You know. Yeah, concierge? Calm. Like the opposite of what you are? Concierge. Do I know anything about him? You know... Did he have necromantic intentions? No, you just know that he was the head of like a big elven house way back in the day before the elves lost all of this land to you, to your people.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Quotation marks, your people. My people, come on. You're a dwarf. You know, whatever. You might as well be one of them. It's complicated. Hasfama pride. I'll burst through the door then.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Okay. Hang on. Cassius Christi. Bursting through doors. Bursting through doors. Fuck it up, fuckboys. Spectral fuckboy. You slam into the door and take three points of damage. Oh!
Starting point is 00:21:34 How far away are we? You ricochet off it chaotically. The door is jammed shut. Daniel, the door's jammed shut. Why didn't you tell me? Daniel jogs up behind you. I didn't see the door. Help me, Daniel.
Starting point is 00:21:48 I can't. You're like, you turn to him. You realize he's left the torch. Well, he didn't have the torch, but the torch is with Edric. Oh, so he doesn't know where anything is. He's kind of bumbling around a little blind. Is it super dark? You need dark vision to see.
Starting point is 00:22:02 I can see fine. Ooh, what's low light vision? Can Wesley see? Low light vision means that you can see twice as far In low light conditions as a regular human could Is this low light? This would be considered low light, yes I'm going to ask Wesley what does he see You have it around your neck
Starting point is 00:22:21 I have a torch We're so close You don't really need Wesley's help. You can see further, but you don't need it. He's holding a torch. What the hell, Zilly? I'm going to give Cassius and Daniel another round before the more cautious
Starting point is 00:22:35 Zilly and Edric reach them. You going to try and break down the door again? Yeah. Good. I'm a happy Little You break the door Take that door
Starting point is 00:22:51 Okay Hang on let me get the next encounter ready I'm gonna get Daniel killed That would be bad for both of us I need to find out who the hell he is first Roses If Daniel dies I'm abandoning um uh the blacksmith okay i don't want to have to face him and be like i got your son killed you got your son killed that's
Starting point is 00:23:13 i'm like we still go back to town you're gonna like this sorry goodbye i am an excited little bitch okay you open uh you open this door and like the other three rooms before it, it's like some sort of mausoleum or like a crypt. Basically, like, coffins are lined up on the walls, and there's a lot of them. Except pretty much all of them have been dragged off of their racks onto the floor, broken open, and the remains are, like, scattered all over the floor. Ew. Disgusting. As you burst down the door, two creatures kneeling among the remains
Starting point is 00:23:50 turn around to face you. What do they look like? I'm afraid. This foul creature appears more or less humanoid, but has matted, decaying flesh drawn tight across clearly visible bones. Ew.
Starting point is 00:24:05 It is mostly hairless and has a carnivore's sharp teeth. Its eyes burn like hot coals in their sunken sockets. What on earth are we facing? Something fucking... That's rad. Is it a ghoul? I think it's a... Well, yeah yeah good job looking
Starting point is 00:24:25 at the fucking title my eyes are too bad to read that we finding a what's the difference between a ghoul and a zambo? well
Starting point is 00:24:33 we'll see if you know well no I was asking as Ali oh as Ali? yeah what's the difference? I don't want to tell you
Starting point is 00:24:40 oh see that was a trap you know a little come on now a little bit of history a little bit of history. A little bit of history. All right, so after we die, he might tell us.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Okay. Maybe. Oh, good. No one knows. Like, I can't even... I wouldn't even be bothered rolling. No one can succeed on this. That's the best.
Starting point is 00:24:58 All right, then. Okay, now we're going to initiative. Yay! Is there any fire in the room? We're not there yet. There's no fire except what you bring. We're not there. Oh, I thought we were all together.
Starting point is 00:25:09 No, you're about to get there. Like idiots. Like champions. Idiots. Well, dead champions, maybe. Hey, Adam, real quick. I'll throw a torch at one of them. Call lightning.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Does that work underground? Yep. It's more effective during a thunderstorm but it works underground well wait hang on does it work underground in that it will strike the ground above us no it'll hit the intended target that would be so funny it would not work no it's not how it works it zooms out to the crypt a lot of wolves being like the fuck is this i could have been a bear for this fight, just saying.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Well, you spooked us. I could have been a bear, a baboon. You could have told us that you could have this ability and maybe we wouldn't have been scared. I could have been a squid for this fight, just saying. Daniel was frightened. I was frightened. I could be an awesome squid for this fight, but whatever.
Starting point is 00:26:02 I get very confused because I pretty much feel like I've been locked in a hut for a good while, just reading a lot of books. So I'm like, I know what's going on. Do I? I don't know. When I was reading, was I reading spell books? Was I reading history books? Or was I just reading fairy tales?
Starting point is 00:26:18 Nordic fairy tales. Both of them charge down at you, Cassius and Daniel. As soon as they come within 10 feet of you, this stench, this awful, like a corpse that has been left to rot for decades, beseeches you. Am I going to throw up? Are we doing a constitutional rule? Daniel does, you don't.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Daniel, you're throwing up like an idiot! Yeah, Daniel's gonna be... Daniel's having a time. One of them attacks you and Cassius, and one of them attacks Daniel. All right. I'm gonna get him killed. No, I can't let him die.
Starting point is 00:27:00 I gotta find out who he is. That's true. Otherwise I'm like, I came back to this podunk town nothing God damn it. He's a dnd title tattoo removalist That's where I'm in trouble. No. Crit. Crit. Crit hap, guys. Crit hap, but crit hap
Starting point is 00:27:30 for them, so crit sad for us. But for which me? I know it's me. I know it's me. It's not Daniel. Yeah, you're a clever one. Adam wouldn't be as happy if it was for someone not too happy. For someone he made a it back sorry for.
Starting point is 00:27:46 The ghoul grabs you by the shoulders and it means to try to bite you in the neck, but it headbutts you before it bites you in the neck. Awesome. You hear an audible cracking sound. Oh my! Not from the ghoul. Oh no! I really want to just headbutt it back, but I feel like that'll make the crack from the ghoul. Oh no! Oh!
Starting point is 00:28:06 I really want to just headbutt it back, but I feel like that'll make the crack wider. He's broken his cranium or nose. Okay, so Cassius, two points of damage to you. Oh, that's nice. But But, gang, but But, though
Starting point is 00:28:21 It's always that, just like, but you're blinded by blood. I imagine maybe my left is right and my right is left from now on. You've lost an eye. You take one point of wisdom and intelligence damage. Guys, I just got brain damaged. Oh no! Literally, yeah, this is the D&D brain damage.
Starting point is 00:28:42 That's awesome. I might end up a vegetable. That makes your spells weaker as well. I wonder if you just had one spell. Is that permanent? Um, not permanent. I'll need to see a cleric, I assume. Because that's very funny if it is. It'll, like, heal over time, but it'll take a while.
Starting point is 00:28:58 We'll get a potion. Yeah, we'll be fine. Let's have a sneaky nap. Yeah, yeah. And then... Oh, the other one. Oh, boy. Oh, dear. No, whatever. I'll be fine. Let's have a sneaky nap. Yeah, yeah. And then... Oh, the other one. Oh, boy. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:29:08 No, whatever. I'll be fine. Fuck. I'm Cassie. You're a fucking lucky one. Okay, from where it bites you, you feel like this numbness spread out, and you realize that that entire, like, half of your body is now numb completely. Do you turn into a ghoul now?
Starting point is 00:29:25 Any day now. Yeah. Hey, Adam, if he kills the king ghoul, does that mean he becomes the king of the ghouls? He's rolling. Yeah, he's rolling to find out. Looks like it. You need to make two different fortitude saves
Starting point is 00:29:41 every time they bite you. That's the best. Two different things. I like how every time they bite you. That's the best. Two different things. I like how every time we get a new monster, we're always like, hey, Adam, if we kill the big one, do we become the king of the monsters? No. No. Okay, you're on scene.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Yay! You're, like, close enough that if you wanted to attack from range, you could. Yes. Okay. I would like to tell Edric to throw the torch in. That's not my turn. Throw the torch in. I can't. Throw the torch in. That's your turn. Trust. That's my turn. Well, hold on. Can I tell him to throw the torch in. That's not my turn. Throw the torch in. I can't. Throw the torch in.
Starting point is 00:30:05 That's your turn. That's my turn. Well, hold on. Can I tell him to throw the torch in? You can tell me. You can, as a free action, grab the torch off him if he's willing. Yeah. I would like to take the torch off him and then throw it in.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Yeah. I don't understand. Throw it in or throw it at them? Throw it. How far away is Cassius and Daniel? They're about, I'd say, 20 feet from you. No, 20 feet from the ghouls? Oh, they're standing next to the ghoul.
Starting point is 00:30:30 They're like bearing down on them. I don't want to burn to death as well as get ghoul rot and brain damage. I got a theory we can heal you. Alright, sick. I would like to take the torch at him and then throw it in. Just into the room? Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Okay. Just. Are you telling me he's grabbing it? He's like, what are you doing? Yeah. Okay. You don't even make it to where Cassius is. Oh.
Starting point is 00:30:58 The torch like lands in between the two of you. I want to like shoot you a look like, what was that? You didn't, you barely even noticed that. Yeah, I barely even conscious. There's a ghoul like biting you in the neck. Oh, you do take a moment to admonish Zilly. I'm just like, just a second ghoul. Zilly, what was that? You barely even noticed that. Yeah, I barely even conscious. There's a ghoul, like, biting you in the neck. Oh, you do take a moment to admonish Zilli. I'm just like, just a second, ghoul. Zilli, what the hell? Edric?
Starting point is 00:31:11 Mm-hmm? You're 20 feet away as well. If you wanted to... Oh, no. Daniel and Cassius are kind of actually taking up the room. You can't reach them with melee combat. You got a bow, right? Can I charge and just grab Daniel and move him out the way? You can't reach them with melee combat. You got a bow, right? Can I charge and just grab Daniel and move him out the way?
Starting point is 00:31:27 You can try. I want to do that. I want to get Daniel out of the way of being bit by a zombie ghoul. Daniel's going to protect little Danny Dan. Cassius, look, I'm still thinking that she can maybe take care of herself, although I'm now doubting it. Who has she been hanging out with? One bad move, and I'm now doubting it because I'm like what is she who has she been hanging out with
Starting point is 00:31:46 one bad move and I'm at it by a ghoul I thought she was on the left you grab him by the like the scruff of the back of his neck and try to drag him back but it's like trying to move a fucking he doesn't move you hear him like just
Starting point is 00:32:03 snarl like a freaking dog Oh god He's in this fight to the conclusion Maybe he's a ghoul now Speaking of Daniel He bellows like something in Nordic Like die beasts Or something like that
Starting point is 00:32:18 And like I said he's frothing at the mouth Ew He is turning into a ghoul That's how it works Or he's frothing at the mouth. Ew. He is turning into a ghoul. That's how it works, isn't it, Adam? Or he's a barbarian. He's a barbarian. You know, what the fuck ever, right, guys? I don't know what that means.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Classic D&D classes, barbarian fight a ghoul. I don't even care that you don't know. Oh, no. No, he's fine. He's tough. He's a tough little boy. He swings with the spiked chain. The chain wraps itself around the body of one of the ghouls.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Imagine if he saves us. The chain crackles with electricity as well. He's fucking hardcore. Maybe I'll bang him again. If I banged him the first time. Yeah, we have to find out. I'm doing some quick math. Dealing.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Shut up. Dealing. 17 up. Dealing. 17 points of damage. I look smart enough. Okie dokie, and now it is. Cassius is done. I was about to call you Colossus. I wish.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Cassius Colossus in Rumble in the Jungle. I want to take a five foot step. Call Lightning. Does that happen on this turn or the next? It would happen on this turn, yeah. I'll take a step back and call lightning on the ghoul. Okay. Let me quickly look up the area of that spell.
Starting point is 00:33:36 I'm sorry if I killed everyone. Not even Matt. Not even a thing, Cassius. At this point, you're just accepting that you're going to fail your quest, Edric. I'm like, not only am I going to get Daniel killed, but I'm probably going to get Kyle Hoff killed. And my two childhood friends.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Are you becoming suspicious? Oh, you are so lucky. This is like a pinpoint fucking strike. Are you going to hit your one or the one that Daniel hit? Daniel like crippled, like he crushed this thing's chest. I'll kill my one. He's doing fine. this thing's chest. I'll kill my one. He's doing fine. Try to.
Starting point is 00:34:08 I'll kill him in one. I'll one shot this motherfucker. Confidence is what you need in D&D. Confidence is what I have. Well, with your weakened wisdom from the blow to the skull, you're not as good at aiming the core lightning as you should. And the ghoul is only going to take half damage. That's still pretty good. That's still pretty bloody ripper of a joke. Give yourselfoh. And the ghoul is only going to take half damage. Hey. That's still pretty good. That's still pretty bloody ripper of a joke.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Like, give yourself a pat on the back. Oh, additionally, like, instead of taking a regular action, you can just call another lightning bolt down every round. I know. And that's what I intend to do. Druids, man. Sick. Druids are fucking the best.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Stop trying to fight shit. Like, you can fuck them up. 15, half of 15 is? 15. Seven and a half. 15 in one. Come on, mate. Round them up.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Seven damage. So what? You can beat them in a half. 3.5, you round down. You always round down. Why do you punch things? I've got the fighter's spirit. You can do this.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Magic feels wrong. Fighting feels right. You're correct. I'll swim a prize. Swim a. Magic feels wrong. Fighting feels right. You're correct. Husk Firm of Pride. And now it's the ghoul's turn. Will this undead abomination drag one of our heroes to an early grave? Gosh, I hope so. Find out next time on Husk Firm of Pride,
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