Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Luke MacFarlane — on fixing broken things and being ‘dada’ to Tess

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

‘Bros’ star and ‘Home Is Where the Heart Is’ co-host Luke MacFarlane joins the show. Over ramen, Luke tells me about his early desire to be a dad, his love for derelict homes and broken things needing fixing, and the impact of his role on ‘Brothers & Sisters.’ Also, we get into his new Hallmark+ home reno series ‘Home Is Where The Heart Is’!  This episode was recorded at Kazan in Beverly Hills, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode of Dinners On Me is brought to you by Nissan. These days, it feels like the world and our lives are moving at hyper speed. I mean, that's why I love doing this podcast. It's a chance to slow down, to truly connect with another human being, and to enjoy the feeling of actually being in the present moment. On that note, I'm very excited that Dinners On Me is partnering with Nissan, because Nissan understands that sometimes the greatest rush comes from not rushing at all. And with the all-new Nissan Murano, you can enjoy an unapologetic refuge amidst the daily hustle and bustle of life.

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which for under $200 feels like a steal. For your next trip, treat yourself to lux upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to quince.com slash jtf to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash jtf. Hi, it's Jesse. Today on the show, you know him from queer rom-com bros, the leading man on countless Hallmark classics. And now as the host of Hallmark Plus's home renovation show, home is where the heart is. It's Luke McFarlane.

I've known you so long that we used to exchange VHS tapes. That's right. That's right. Back when people used to use VHS tapes. We don't have to say anything more about that. Nope, we just exchanged VHS tapes and you can draw your own conclusions. Yes, we did. This is Dinners On Me and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I have made a lot of friends being in this business, but few friendships go as far back and as deep as the one I have with Luke McFarlane.

We met in, ah, I want to say 2003. We were fresh-faced 20-somethings cast together in Christopher Shin's play, Where Do We Live at the Vineyard Theater. We were in a new play, in a new city, with new dreams, and Luke and I were all in. We were sharing a tiny dressing room and big hopes for the future.

And soon after the play, Luke moved to Los Angeles for a TV job, but whatever bond we built under off-Broadway stage lights stuck. When I eventually made my way back west, Luke was one of the first people I called. I'm pretty sure that my first meal in Los Angeles was with him at El Compadre, no less, the same spot where I later recorded a Dinners on Me episode with Nolan Gould. Full circle moment, anyone? Luke's career has soared in the most incredible ways,

but what's meant the most is watching him grow not just as an artist, but as a human and now as a dad. A few months ago, we grabbed breakfast with our kids. Um, you know, once upon a time, we'd meet for beers after a curtain call of the show and talk about the cute guy in the front row. Now we're meeting and talking about picky eaters and pediatricians.

His daughter Tess is just a few months younger than my son Sully, and seeing them play while we sip coffee feels like a beautiful, chaotic continuation of a friendship that's grown up right alongside us. Luke isn't just a great actor. He's basically a handsome Canadian Swiss army knife. The man renovated his own house, which he now shares with his partner, Hig,

and their adorable daughter Tess. And oh, oh, and when my son Beckett was born, Luke built his crib, like with tools, from wood. My younger son Sullivan's now sleeping in it, so it's officially become a family heirloom. Thanks Uncle Luke. I've been saying for years that he needs a show about woodworking and giving back, so no, I can't take credit for his new show Home is Where the Heart Is, but I can say I saw it coming. I'm just so proud to see him building something beautiful, as always. Hi, good to see you.

something beautiful, as always. Hi. Hi, baby, see you. See you. I brought Luke to Kazan in Beverly Hills, a Michelin-guide gym founded by noodle aficionado, Ryu Asobe. It just so happened to have been one of those rare, moody, rainy days in Los Angeles.

Yes, they do happen here. And there's honestly no better excuse to dive into a warm bowl of ramen. Known for his devotion to handcrafted noodles and meticulously balanced broths, Asobe has turned Kazan into a sanctuary for ramen lovers. Each bowl of ramen at Kazan is a little masterpiece, anchored by their house-made noodles. But as good as the ramen was, the real soul-warmer was catching up with Luke. Listen, we've been friends for about 20 years now,

and I love any excuse to spend time with him. Okay, let's get to the conversation. Last time we had dinner together, do you remember? Yeah, we went to- Benihana? Went to Benihana. And was it relaxing? Well, I feel like I needed to communicate.

You know, it's a Saturday, you're busy with a kid, and like Justin sent me a text, he was like, meet us a Saturday, you're busy with a kid, and like Justin sent me a text, he was like, meet us out for dinner. I was like, yep, mm-hmm, yeah. I didn't read the text until I pulled up, and I was like, it's Benny Hanna. I'm bringing an 18-month-year-old to Benny Hanna.

But it was just, completely. Perfect. Tested great. Yeah, she's a lot. There's like a very hot, dangerous thing happening. Yeah, I mean, we're sitting around a literal stove. Yes. By the way, because I didn't read the text,

it said, we're going to Benihana. Justin had written, it's very theatrical. So in my head, I was like, oh, we're going to like a rainforest cafe type place. So, yeah. You did see in the text about today that this is a podcast that we're recording, right? Oh yes.

Okay. Absolutely. You know, I missed that part. I thought I was just having lunch with you. Why are there microphones here? I totally missed that part. Oh, and why are these people here? Oh my God.

I'm so happy we're finally doing this. Yeah, really thank you for having me and I'm excited. Look at this photo I found of the two of us. I was just looking up pictures of us. It's going to make me nervous. No, you're going to love this. No, it's so funny. Look at this.

Oh my God. Oh my God. God. Oh my God. 2025. That's actually a really sweet picture. You have to send that to me. I've known you so long that we used to exchange via chest tapes. That's actually a really sweet picture. You have to send that to me. I've known you so long that we used to exchange

via chess tapes. That's right. That's right. Back when people used to exchange via chess tapes. That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah. We don't have to say anything more about that.

Nope, we just exchanged via chess tapes and you can draw your own conclusions. Yes, we can. No, I was just, yeah, it's been 20, I was looking, where do we live, which is a play we met on. Yes. So it's been, this is our 21st year knowing one another.

Wow. I know. It's also crazy, cause that seems like yesterday, like that first rehearsal, I have such vivid memories of that rehearsal process. Yeah, me too. Going through it. Also, I think there's something about those early experiences

where you really do fuse and bond together in a different kind of way. Absolutely. Hi, come on in. Hi guys. Welcome to Kazan. Hi. Thank you.

So happy to have you. We've uploaded our menus to our phones. Right. I like to hear what's up. But I do want to hear what some of your specials are. Yeah. You recommend. So we're known for our noodles.

We make them all in-house. That's our specialty. So from the entrees, we have soba dishes. Those all have chicken broth, and we put truffle in them. So it's a more fusion style. I would recommend definitely trying the signature number one. That's our first original dish. So it comes with our homemade thin noodles, truffle chicken broth, and it's topped with shashu that's our first original dish. So it comes with our homemade thin noodles,

truffle chicken broth, and it's topped with shashu that's slow cooked, made in-house, and also handmade wontons. Beautiful. That sounds incredible. Yeah, it also looks beautiful. Can we get some of the small things too before? Oh yeah, the appetizers.

So the wings are really amazing. I recommend the sake crispy wings. Also our salads are awesome. I love the Kazan salad. Can we do some like sharing? Yeah. Yes. Totally.

Tell me about, is this cashew supreme, the future of chicken broth? What is this? So that one is a truffle chicken broth with our soy flavor added. It has a little bit of sliced chili and then served with with a soft-boiled egg and pork chashu. I really recommend that one as well. It's very similar to the signature. I see, okay. But comes with the egg.

Comes with the egg. I see a hard-boiled egg, and I'm always just excited. Yeah, and we also have ramen dishes, which those are more traditional. They have tonkatsu, pork broth, no truffle. I feel like something without truffle, just to have a different. Yeah, you can always get one of each broth and share.

Maybe I'll try your signature number one. And then, do you want to do the ramen? Yeah, the lea, lea? The lei. Lei, sorry, lei ramen. And do you want to try the lotus root chips? Yes. I want to try this lotus root chips.

Lotus root chips. Okay, great, done try this Lotus root chips. Lotus root chips. Okay, great, done. Okay, perfect. We'll get that all started for you. Thank you so much. But that was such a special time. You had just graduated from Juilliard. I feel like months earlier, right out of school

and getting a pretty prominent lead role in a high profile off-Broadway play at the Vineyard, I'm sure was. Absolutely, that was, yeah. You're making yourself a professional actor, but there's also that element of, it was like the first time my family was going to kind of come and see me.

Yeah. And I remember very clearly my dad coming. You've just gone to a Juilliard, you're excited, and he watches it. You know, an intense. It was a pretty intense play. It was an intense play. It was beautiful and meaningful,

and kind of the dialogue was very sort of naturalistic. Well, and also for your first play, first time being on stage, there was, he was asking a lot of you as an actor, and there was a lot of sex and nudity. Simulated drug use. Yeah. Smoking cigarettes. I remember we did cocaine on stage, it was asking a lot of you as an actor, and there was a lot of sex and nudity. Simulated drug use. Yeah. Smoking cigarettes.

I remember we did cocaine on stage and we actually snorted powdered milk. Good heavens. And I was like, I don't know if that was necessary. I don't think anyone was close enough to actually see the powder go up our nose. But I remember giving myself basically a yeast infection in my nose because I had,

was snorting so much powdered milk. Oh my gosh. My character was the cigarette smoker. So I was like, I'm gonna smoke cigarettes. You had already been smoking cigarettes. No, no, I had never, I had never smoked in high school. I never smoked. And then I was like, yeah, I gotta do this.

And I specifically remember like two weeks into like getting into character going like, whoa, cigarettes gotta do this. And I specifically remember like two weeks into like getting into character going like, whoa, cigarettes are very addictive. It turns out. Yeah. It took me a long time to quit. Well, first of all, what did your parents think about that play when they came to see it?

Because I don't think my parents actually saw that one. Yeah. My dad, I think was in a little bit of shock in a way that I didn't entirely anticipate. And he was very concerned about my character's behavior. And he asked, he was, because my character in the play, if you remember, has kind of a one night stand with a guy that,

you know, is a little bit transactional, it's not very loving. My dad was really concerned about that character that I had the one-night stand with, so it was a really revealing, I think, aspect of my dad. He's a very caring guy. At this point in your life, you've been out to your parents. Absolutely. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I came out in my second year at Juilliard.

Came home for Christmas, told Mom and Dad. So they knew, and they knew about the play. They're always very open and they're always super encouraging of any artistic pursuits. So I mean it's you know it's it was an intense play and also I know like my family they went through their own process with me being gay and you know my dad even asked me you know while I was doing Modern Family, he's like I just don't always understand why you have to play so many gay parts and it opened up a whole conversation between the two of us and started a whole other level of our relationship

because I had to sort of explain to him why it was important for me to play this role because socially I wanted to be able to portray a gay man on television and I felt like I was gonna do wonderful things for the marriage equality movement, which it did. But it was one thing for him to accept me being gay quietly, but it was another thing for me then to be doing that on a major network television show.

And there are steps of acceptance. So I can imagine that for your parents, having to see their kid in his first professional job, and it's like, there's onstage sex, and there's like, there's onstage sex and there's like, you know, it's a lot. Yeah, it is totally. And you know, it's a generational thing too.

There was, I think similarly to your dad, it was like, I have no problem with it, but it's nobody's business and you don't need to talk about it. Right, right. Which I think was the sort of way, you know, my dad's generation. For sure.

And it's also something that I think my parents, I'm sure your parents were the same way, their careers didn't beg for us to be so open with ourselves. And even I'm still learning how to open up in ways. I still have to keep parts of myself private, but yet we're expected in this industry to go on talk shows and talk about our personal life and to expose parts of ourselves for roles.

And it's something that I think for my dad specifically, it's still a hard thing for him to understand. If I go on a talk show and tell a story about the family, it's like, why did you have to share that? And I was like, because it's a charming story about my life and I'm just sharing a little bit of my self with people who want to know something about me. Yeah, and it's- It's tricky. Yeah, it's totally tricky. We have a weird job. Like I'm just sharing a little bit of myself with people who want to know something about me.

Yeah. And it's tricky. Yeah, it's totally tricky. We have a weird job. It's a very strange job. It's a strange job. Specifically after I did a play with Martha Pempton, she's like, basically what we do is like go on stage, speak loudly and wear dead people's hair.

It's so true. Or wigs. It's so true. Now for a. It's so true. It's cloudy. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Luke opens up about his life as a new dad and we hear how his toddler Tess prefers to call her dads. Okay, be right back.

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And we're back with more Dinners on Me. First of all, I'm so grateful that you came into my life when you did, because we have remained extremely close. But also, there was a point when you moved to LA, and I was like, oh, I don't know if I'm going to see you as much. And we did a pretty good job of staying in touch. You know, you got really exciting theater work and film work pretty soon after we did the play together. And I was excited for you to move to LA.

I was really sad because I was like, you know, it's hard when you're that age to find relationships that are meaningful and that feel real. In this business to people that are sort of on a similar track In this business. Yeah, exactly. People that are sort of on a similar track. Yeah, you meet a lot of people, but there's not a ton of people like,

oh, that's going to be a lifer for me. And I felt like, oh, Luke, I feel like I have a real connection with them. And so I was so happy that after you moved to LA, we were able to maintain a friendship. And then eventually I joined you out here and you were like the first person that I contacted and you were taking me out to dinners

and I was meeting your friends and that's how I met Michael Urie for the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that actually. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, we were just talking about that. Yes, he was just on, yes, the podcast. He was a classmate of mine

so I've known Michael a very long time as well. I remember when I first made out there because you made me a CD did I yes you CD and the music I'm listening to at that time was like soup John Stevens. Yeah Salad time, thank you. This is gorgeous Thank you, thanks so much, I don't know if you remember this, but I was filming Brothers and Sisters when you came and did your network test for,

and I remember. For Modern Family, for the class. For Modern Family. Yeah, I remember coming over to visit your set. And I remember, I was right before you went in and won a part. That's right, I came to visit the set. Yeah. And you introduced me to Sally Field,

it was the first time I met Sally Field, and you're like, my friend's just tested for a sitcom, and everyone's like, oh yeah, that went well, and. Turns out that went well. Turns out it went pretty well. 11 years earlier. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I mean, I know for me, moving out to LA,

having, you know, done only theater. Yeah, I think my feeling about LA was always like, oh, it's an inevitability, it's where you have to go eventually, but never convinced myself that I was gonna stay. Yeah, neither. You know, I just thought. Yeah, yeah.

But I've really come to love this place. I think there's so many aspects of myself and specifically as it comes to building and design and woodworking that LA had become the place where I want to be and I can explore those things a little more easily than I know I'd be able to do in New York, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, it took some time. My partner, Hig, is still not convinced that LA is where he wants to be. Oh, I get it. I totally agree with Hig. And I'm always, you know, you know, I was like, patience, like LA takes a long time to sort of reveal itself to you.

When you first met Hig, you were already in the process of wanting to have a kid. Yeah, it's hard. Like, and I just sort of, now this is very meta, but I sort of always want to protect Hig in that, in this conversation. Yeah, for sure. I knew I wanted to have a kid for a very, very long time. And when I met Hig, I let him know that.

So it kind of moved his timeline forward. and when I met Hig, I let him know that. So it kind of moved his timeline forward. But I'll tell you something, when you're getting to know somebody and you let them know pretty clearly right off the bat, this is important to me, it's a pretty quick way of finding out if they're interested in that. And he immediately was family

and being a parent was something that he also wanted to do. So the timeline happened probably faster than most people's, you know? I don't know how long you and, or I can't remember how long you and. I mean, Justin and I would always say he wanted to do five years of being married. And we had already been together for three years

to that point. So then he wants to just be married for five years before we even thought about having kids. And it was like after five years, I was like, Justin, remember, like we got to that point. So then he wants to just be married for five years before we even thought about having kids. And it was like after five years, I was like, Justin, remember, like we gotta start this, I'm getting old. And I really wanted to be a dad that was young enough to like be able to do things with my kids. And I was kind of wanted, I knew I wanted two kids.

And so I thought, if we don't start this soon, first of all, I might not get to have two children, but I also just, I might just feel like I've started too late. But, you know, I'm really glad that we did have those five years of just being married. I feel like a lot of things happened in that time. For us, like, we- You guys did amazing things together.

Yeah. No, for sure. And, I mean, how has it been watching someone you, because for me, like half of the joy of parenthood is watching Justin become a dad and seeing how the kids connect with him. How has it been with him, like with your different styles of parenting?

He's gonna get upset. There's you? When I tell this story. We were very sort of like open about like, we're gonna let Tess figure out who she's gonna call Dada. Okay. And who she's gonna call Papa. We didn't kind of make that decision. Which in hindsight was, we both wanted to be Dada.

Yeah, of course. And we didn't want to say. It is the better of the two. And I'm saying that as a Papa. Justin got the better of the two. Well, it was really as a pop-up. Justin got the better of the two. Well it's really funny because I didn't want to commit to it, he didn't want to commit to it. Well she'll tell us.

Which is really not the way it works. She doesn't even know how to speak. Exactly. She doesn't know how to drink water yet. She started calling me Dada. You were so happy. I know. And I was like, well you know that's what Des did.

And she is calling Hig, Hig. So, you know. Hig is such a cute name, it's so easy to say. It is fun to say, it's a fun name to say, and that's why, and she says it with like so much love. It's absolutely adorable. Yeah, of course. So we're working on Papa Hig.

Papa Hig, aw. Which I think is actually adorable. Totally, no, Becca, and slowly calling me Papa. And now I love it, but at the beginning, I was like, I don't know about that. And now Justin's doing the thing where he's calling me Papa, which I'm like, I don't know if I like this wrinkle. Yeah, totally.

I'm not. But I don't know, but when do we come up with these associations? Like, why is Papa, yeah, I always think of Papa as kind of like a German kind of gray-bearded. Yeah. For sure. You know the story about when I was,

I don't know if I've ever told this on the podcast, when I, so okay, when Sully was about to be born, I realized we needed a second set of like diaper genies, new small diapers and all this stuff. So I did a big Target run and I'm loading up, you know, my stuff onto the checkout counter and the woman who's checking me out, she goes, oh my goodness, is this your first grandkid?

And I started crying. Oh, I see. I started crying. I said, why would you assume it's my, I'm at the grandkid? And she immediately felt terrible. But it was like the very beginning of her checking me out. So it was like, I'm so her checking me out. So it was like,

I'm so sorry. She's like scanning things. And she's like, for like literally the next seven minutes, she was just apologizing to me. And I was trying to make her feel, feel better. That's a good scene.

I really like that. It is. It felt like something out of a sitcom or like, you know, Curb Your Enthusiasm or something. I was just like, I cannot believe it. And I really was upset. And I came home and I told Justin and then he was making me feel bad.

He's like, well, you know, I mean, you're wearing a hat and your beard's a little gray right now. Look how brown it is right now, by the way. So brown. Ty. Hi, so first up is the signature number one. Okay. Just a reminder, this is the truffle-based chicken broth

with soy flavor added. It has our homemade thin noodle, wontons with pork and shrimp inside, and then two slices of cha-shu. Okay, got it. We have one more coming, so I'll bring extra bowls. Okay, thank you. I was gonna say something else funny that's happened

when you're talking about Hig being called Hig. Justin's mom was over over and Justin's dad calls my mother-in-law, honey. Hey honey, hey honey. And so Beckett the other day was trying to get grandma's attention. He's like, hey honey, and just started calling her honey. Which is really cute.

You want to top off honey? He's like pouring coffee at a diner. He's like honey, can you help me with this Lego? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really sweet. Okay, here's a couple eggs. Oh, nice, thank you. I love a hard-boiled egg.

So speaking of. You know, I begin. What, go ahead. I begin every day with six hard-boiled eggs. Six? Six hard-boiled eggs. I've been doing that for years. That's why your farts are unacceptable.

Truly. How do you know that? Because I've been around you and you've had to pass gas. Okay. We have our last entree. This is the Lay Ramen. So it's a spicy pork broth with mixed onions on top, pork chashu, and again, our homemade thin noodles.

They look delicious. Enjoy. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, we get into Luke's love for craftsmanship and how it even followed him into the labor and delivery room when Tess was being born. And we talk about getting married to men on network television before it was even legal.

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And we're back with more Dinners on Me. I still cannot believe that you made the most beautiful crib for Beckett and now Sully's sleeping in it. Oh, that makes me really happy. So beautiful. Thank you. You know, you made it obviously before you had Tess. And I remember you saying, if I ever have a daughter,

I might take it back. I was like, absolutely. And then of course you're like, no, I want to make her a new one. And so you made Tess a new crib. I did. And I just remember, Tess had arrived and she was in a little bassinet for a while

and you were running very behind on this crib. And I was like, at some point you're going to need to create a crib for your child. It's just a timeline. I was like, do you want your crib back that you made for us? That's very sweet of you. I think it was also like,

I just wanted to go through that process. But yes, Tess wasn't in her, she was in the bassinet for almost six months. She was a big baby, so we kinda. I feel like she was quickly outgrowing that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But we got it done, she's very happy in her crib.

I remember you telling me that Beckett, when he got a bed finally, that he was sad to leave the crib. He was. That made me very happy that he enjoyed his little cage. In fact, when Sully finally, because in the next like six months or so he's probably going to be out of his crib. Like I don't know,

it's not the type of crib that I can just donate. You give it to somebody else. Give it to somebody else. It's so beautiful and it has a Shakespeare quote carved into it. Oh my gosh, it does, that's right. It's so gorgeous. It's not like a crib that you can just hand to someone.

It has to be someone very special. Give it to somebody. I love that. I have to give it to like someone who's like going to birth the second coming of Christ. Oh wow. Mary. Yeah.

Justin and I had always been saying, Luke, you have to do some sort of a home reno show or a woodworking show. I mean, you also, let me just back up a little bit. I was with you when you went to go look at the house that you now live in and you were like, you know, wanting friends opinions about this new house you were about to buy.

And let me tell you what, it was a shit box. And I was like, I don't understand how you're seeing this new house you were about to buy. And let me tell you what, it was a shit box. And I was like, I don't understand how you're seeing something in this place. I mean, it had incredible bones. It is this beautiful craftsman home. And you could see that there was potential for something beautiful there,

but I mean, it was under a lot of wear and tear and a lot of abuse. I don't know, it felt like, it was under a lot of wear and tear and a lot of abuse. I don't know, it felt like it had been through a lot. I remember carpet, like, glued down to the front patio. I still laugh. I remember you stepped up onto the front patio and they had this horrible green 1960s carpet glued to it. Glued.

And also, it was ripped in places so they had duct tape. But I remember you looking at me and going, are you going to keep the duct tape? I still think about that. But I just, I was like, I just saw such a huge project. And obviously that's what you saw too. And you loved that challenge. And what you did to that house,

I mean obviously you had to bring some people in to help with some specialty stuff, but you really, you did so much of that work. I mean, your fingerprints are all over that renovation. And it is such a beautiful home. And I just, knowing that you have this potential and obviously seeing you know your love of woodworking sort of blossom with these projects you know I remember I think the first thing you made was a rocking chair right yes yeah

so you know Justin I realize you have to there has to be something that you do in and the renovation space of the whole theworking space, and I'm so excited that that finally exists. I really appreciate that, and I remember specifically the first time you brought it up to me. I remember Justin saying, you have to do something with this. I think you can relate to this, though, too. Being somebody that also has your side passions

with food and cooking, is it sometimes hard as an actor to figure out what that balance is going to be about the things that you do for fun and the things that you do as an actor and how to kind of Yeah, and for yourself and how to balance all that stuff out. And the interesting way that those two things can overlap. I think eventually, once you sort of figure it out

and what maybe you have a little bit more understanding about where your career is, and how you're seen and understood, and maybe just confident about the fact that, like, I'm going to be an actor, it's okay. But going back to like the house, I, ever since I was a kid, I don't know what this says about me,

I'm sure something very psychological, but I remember driving home home and we used to pass this wreck of a house on my drive home from like grade school as a kid. And I used to say to my mom and dad, that's my dream house. And they were like, what? Oh wow.

And I think it was because it was broken and it needed to be fixed up. And there's something about process I really enjoy. I like seeing my way through a problem. I think sets, as an actor, are sometimes like that. You know, you show up and you're like, okay, we have two hours, we got five different angles we gotta shoot.

So it's kind of like seeing your way through a process and a challenge, and I really like doing that. And the house that I bought in LA was completely that. And I stepped in the first time I saw that house and I was like, oh, I can see my way through this. Like, I know what I need to do. When I first went into the house, I knew that the architect was a prominent architect

in Los Angeles. His name was Albert C. Martin, and Albert C. Martin and Associates designed City Hall here in Los Angeles. His son designed the Department of Water and Power. They designed what is now the Academy Museum. So it's an architectural firm that is in fact still around. And the original founding member of that architectural firm

built my house. And it had been in the same family. So once I kind of did a lot of work, you kind of make an application to the city, and they say, all right, don't change too much of it, we want to keep this as a monument to sort of 115 years ago in Los Angeles. And I'm proud to be sort of the steward of that, for sure.

It's really cool. I know you'd already had such a great relationship with Hallmark, you've done so many films with them. I think it's like 20 films you've done with them now or something, it's a lot. It might not be 20, but very, very close. I'm gonna say 20. By the time this airs, it's gonna be 26 probably.

You've done a lot with them, and I know that's been such a blessing, and they love you, and obviously the films have such a following, and people love those. And by the way, as I mentioned, I just shot my first Christmas film with the Jonas Brothers in Toronto. And I was like, oh yeah, I see the charm

of these sort of Christmas films. And you played Santa? I played Santa Claus, a hot version of Santa Claus. Of course. Yeah, I mean, yes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, do you know how long I had to work my ass off to get the opportunity to play

somebody as sacred as Chris Kringle? It was my 17th film on offer. That's so funny. Yeah, that's great. They're fun to make. There's like a joy of the holiday season. The first time I did a Hallmark movie, I had no idea. I really didn't really understand the brand.

I didn't know them. I remember thinking, what is this script? It's very sweet. And I had no idea that it would just become this relationship that has existed. I'm so grateful to them. And when the idea to produce a home renovation show for their streaming platform, Hallmark Plus came out.

And this producer, Jessica, had this idea, they loved it, and I'm really proud that I get to continue my relationship with. In Hollywood, very rarely do you work for the same company for 15 years. Oh, that's very rare. Yeah, and that they've been willing to grow with me through all these different stages of my career.

It's very cool. I mean, it's absolutely perfect that you get to do this with them. So tell me about the concept of this show. So, Home Is Where the Heart Is is a show where people have inherited homes, whether through an aunt and uncle, a loved one, a mom or dad, sometimes they've passed away,

sometimes they've just moved to a different place. They've passed on to a relative. So these are homes that belong to somebody else and are now being passed to somebody else. And so the challenge of our show is how do you honor the people that were there before while making the space your own? So it's really a show about redefining a space that kind of maybe had different memories at different times for you. And the show is very much a conversation about who these people are and trying to reflect that in design and building.

One of the aspects of the show is there's Luke's build is part of everything. So I build something specific, because I also think, I kind of wanted to leave everybody with something that I actually really built. So in our first episode, I made a little butcher block table to go in their kind of Victorian style home, which felt like an appropriate sort of thing to have in a Victorian style home.

But I always tried to do that. And it was very hands-on. And showing up, you know, 12 hours before the family's supposed to come and looking around and going like, are you kidding me? How are we gonna get this done? We have so much done. Like, trying to find people to come in to do laboring,

you know, last minute. And also it's really interesting. I'm not, I'm very hands-on. And so like, I was like, hey, are you comfortable putting a crown molding up here? McGowell will be like, yeah, no problem, no problem, and I'll come back and be like, are you kidding me? I mean, that was very hard for me to let go of,

like, the quality of the work and the expectation of the work. So always fighting, because it's so personal when you're taking someone's home and putting color on the wall and putting up paper and moving furniture and sometimes taking apart old pieces of furniture to repurpose it. It's people's stuff and they really care about it.

Yeah, they're trusting you with that. Yeah. And one of my big takeaways is how grateful people are and how rare it is for someone to say like, hey, we're going to give you a little makeover. Like, people don't have money to spend on a little makeover for the house. They were all very, very grateful.

It's such a gift. Yeah. I should also mention, the show would not have worked because I'm a woodworker, I'm a builder, I'm a kind of contractor. Olivia Westbrook is a full-on professional designer. And she is an Atlanta native. We filmed all in Atlanta.

She knew how to find a couch in a pen. She knew how to get a painter. She knew how to get a spray guy. And she's a professional designer. That's what she does for a living. And so it's really Olivia and I working very hard to give something that people will feel like is reflective of who they are.

Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite shows, it's such comfort TV for me, is Trading Spaces. Oh yeah. And talk about like people going in with big swings and like not sure if the homeowners are gonna like this. There's a, there's one of the clips

that's been making the rounds recently, the family and it's a brown pile. Yes, they hate the room so much. She has to leave the room, but her microphone's still on. And she's just bawling in the other room. And Paige Davis, God bless her, the host of the show. She's just like, how do I navigate this situation? I have crying homeowners.

In all fairness, in that clip, I mean the room was horrible. The room was awful. I don't know what they were doing. I feel like my dad would design that room. It would be very, lots of straight lines. Brown six by six tile is terrible. I'm gonna say like 65% of the time, it was not great.

No, totally. It's hard. Yeah. Like to do things well. And I'm pretty particular about things. Like you can't, I feel like everybody thinks they can just do it. There's a short-lived HGTV show

where it was people trying to sort of do their own renovation projects. Oh God. And it had this really sad, depressive, like nothing was finished, everything kind of was like crooked and a little bit wrong. And you know, cause I do believe in craftsmanship and I will say that was a big challenge of the show too,

is because you're making TV, it's, you know, you never quite have enough time. And Olivia and I were often kind of like, oh boy, like this is going to be very hard to get done quickly. Yeah. I mean, I'm just going to let people in on your eye. This is a little anecdote about Luke. Luke and I, I know you can obviously

tell if you put us side by side, but we work out at the same gym sometimes. Yes. The weights you lift are a tad heavier than mine. But there was a little shelf in the gym that was maybe a little crooked or a little wobbly. And you came in, your eye went right to it. The next day you came in with your toolbox,

you fixed it for them. Oh my god, that reminds me of a story actually when we were waiting at the hospital for Tess to be born. And Tess took her time, she took her time, so we were there like five days, and one of the nursing stations had those, like, you know, from my encounters with the cabinets on it, and one of the cabinets was just like,

the door was like hanging off, and I just went to the nurse, I was like, you have to let me fix that. I came on the next day with my screwdriver, I realigned all the sort of euro hinges so they close. You just had nervous energy. But it's funny, I just, I'm obsessed with how things are made.

I've always been that way. I have been in stores with you and you're like, you'll get on your hands and knees, crawl under a table, and be like, oh, they've dovetailed this. I think the sort of last room to do my house was something I kind of finally did the master bathroom and it was the first time Hague was really around me while I was, you know, I had built the cabinets and laid the tile and he was like,

I've never seen you more crazy. I remember when you were renovating your kitchen and it was just. It was crazy. It was like losing weight. I remember Sally Field saying to me, you're very skinny. You're very skinny.

I think I finished a renovation of the house and I was like, yikes, I better take care of myself. And I knew that Brothers and Sisters was coming to an end so I started working out. Right, so you were renovating this house, you bought the house and were renovating it during your entire time on Brothers and Sisters. Correct, yeah.

That's interesting, I think I forgot that wrinkle. Yeah, remember that show was also, that cast was gigantic. Yeah, it was a bit of an ensemble show. Yeah, no one really worked, like I would often have only three days of work a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 24 episodes.

I mean, it's sort of the same with Modern Family, I guess. Yeah. Something we share in common, and actually you preceded me in this, is that we both got to get married on network television. Yes, to men. To men. Yeah.

And have kids. And have children. Yes, I know. And I think for Modern Family, they always talk about how revolutionary it was. I think maybe for sitcom it was. But you and Matthew's character got married six years before McCann and Metch ever did. Is that right? I think so. But you know, you and Matthew's character got married

like six years before McCann and Metch ever did. Is that right? I think so. Well, I remember we got married before Prop A. Yes. Was even in dispute. So, it's always funny to think about those things. And I'm still always surprised at the number of people that remember and come up to you

and say how important and meaningful that is. It's often the kids, the guys, the gay men who are like 10 years younger than me, that remember watching the show with their mom when they were probably like 14, 15. And they're the ones that, that's when the conversation started. That's when like mom was like, maybe my son's gay, you know,

but they haven't started to ask the questions of each other. So like, you know, if good art is the beginning of a conversation, I feel so lucky that I started a lot of conversations. We're about to be part of starting conversations. It's so meaningful and so great that you could be a part of a show that I think touched so many people's lives.

And that relationship was in people's living rooms. And I think for so many kids, and I hear this, and I certainly think about this with myself, is I'm glad that I could be a character, or even just an actor and a person in life, that people can look up to and be aspirational towards. I recognize myself in not only Mitch's relationship with Cameron, but also like Jesse's relationship

with Justin. Like that's always extremely meaningful. I feel like it was around, was it around the Brothers and Sisters timeline that you decided, I mean, again, you'd been out to all your friends, but it was the first time you talked about it in the press. So I had, the show that brought me to Los Angeles

was this very macho military show, and I never really talked about it in any of the press I did for that show. And I was kind of half in, half out on the set. And I kind of was like, I don't want to ever do that again. When I first joined the cast of Brothers and Sisters, I was just a guest star. Yeah. I wasn't supposed to ever do that again. When I first joined the cast of Brothers and Sisters, I was just a guest star. I wasn't supposed to stick around.

And then, so they told me at the end of the first season, we'd like to make Scottie a series regular. And then I knew at that moment, I was like, oh, I'm going to have to do press again. And I never really, as a guest star, they don't, you know, you don't really have to do press. And then, so I was like, okay, I'm going to come out. And it was very simple. And it was very simple.

And it was very simple. And that was a long time ago. It was 18 years ago. It was a very long time. I'm always amazed that people give a damn because you're really just doing things, I think, or I at least believe this at the time. I really do think I was just trying to do it

for my mental health. Because I had spent five months on a show where I hadn't talked about it and felt afraid. And I think that affects your work as an actor. I think it affects your personal relationships. So, yeah, it was a different time. And then of course, you know, the thing that people immediately come out

and you have to learn to sort of take this with a grain of salt is like, well, of course he's gay. He didn't have to say it. And you're like, oh. Yeah. That's definitely what they said about me. Like, yeah, we know, honey. Which is like, it doesn't rise to the moment.

It doesn't sort of, you know, I mean, Lindsey Graham comes out. Right, right. Okay. Then I will say, yes, honey. We all knew. But like, you were talking about it being something for your mental health, which I completely relate to. And also, as I'm having these conversations and I'm meeting so many people now

who are queer in the entertainment industry, I'm even thinking like in the music industry, like Chapel Rowan for example, we're just, it's right out of the gate. They're like, this is who I am, and it seems so much less revolutionary, which is, I think, really exciting and great. We grew up in a different time.

Absolutely. I grew up in a small town, and I'm trying to figure out what your identity is, and there was so much coded signaling for things. There used to be these workout magazines that I was like, oh, these workout magazines are really great, I really like, because I want to work out.

And then the older I got, I was like, they were clearly designed for gay people to look at hot dudes. And I was like, but that was the generation. It wasn't stated, it was sort of it wasn't stated It was kind of understood it was signaled but not discussed right, you know And yeah, they all looked like Bobby a little bit. Absolutely was like well that was the era of Chippendale, too I yeah, I got to work with Marlo Thomas

That's another wonderful thing about Hallmark is I've got to work with all these wonderful Cheryl Lee Roth, Marlo Thomas, Gene Smart, you know? So like these wonderful people come to Hallmark. Anyway, beside the point, when I met Marlo Thomas, who was married to Phil Donahue, I said to Marlo Thomas, this is going to be a very strange story, but Donahue was like big part of my childhood. I remember coming home from school,

and we were kind of latchkey kids, so we just kind of let ourselves in. And one episode on Donahue, it was the Chippendale Dancers. And there were these like Chippendale Dancers performing for like the thing. And I remember at the end of the episode, Donahue looks at the camera and was like, I don't know how the ratings are going to be,

but I think we all had a lot of fun. And I remember going like, I had a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. And I didn't know it at the time, but I was like, I kind of wanted to be like them, but I sort of wanted to be with them. But yeah, this is all going, but it's all going to the time we lived in

where it was signaled but not said. You know? And I'm glad we're moving past that. People like Chappell Rhoam can just say it. Absolutely. You have had such a great career after coming out. And you've gotten, you're just mentioning Platonic, where you play, you're married to Rose Byrne,

and you're playing these straight parts still, which is great. I'm so thrilled that you are getting opportunity. I feel like so many people are scared about coming out because they feel like those opportunities might go away. How do you feel like the industry is in this moment? Because I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know how to answer that.

I really don't. I think as long as we just keep imagining what it is we want for ourselves, we'll get it because we're actors. I think if we just keep focusing on the work, there will always be opportunities. We just have to keep delivering. We just have to keep being good.

That is the assignment, I think. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you also had such a great opportunity to be a part of a major motion picture playing a gay part with bros. That Billy Eichner sort of tailored that role to you. I know I spoke to you a lot about that because you knew that you were going to do that

and then the pandemic happened. And then it was like delayed and you weren't supposed to ever come back. And it was this thing that you desperately wanted to do for so long. So when it finally was happening, I was just so happy that you were actually getting to do it. When you look at the checklist of a career,

I'm sure you said to yourself, like I want to be on Broadway. Okay, I want to do straight play on Broadway. Okay, I want to be a series regular on a television show. And so one of those things on the list for me was like, I really want to be the lead of a feature film. Yeah. So like, that was a huge part of it too.

I was like, I really want to be the lead of a feature film. And a rom-com. And a rom-com. Which I had like, weird, who would have thought that like Hallmark would have led me to feature film rom-com, you I had like, who would have thought that Hallmark would have led me to feature film rom-com, you know? But I certainly learned a lot from the Hallmark rom-com world.

I am so grateful to Hallmark, like truly, and even going back to this question of being out, like, Hallmark's embraced that. We really can't, you can't make the jokes about Hallmark being sort of not aware of the time they live in. They're very, like, I play gay characters for Hallmark now. Yeah.

So. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it is such a testament to, like, people are willing to get lost in fantasy and, like, actors are able to play different types of parts. And, like, maybe we're all overthinking things a bit too much. I think so.

As actors now, we've certainly talked about this privately, we want the opportunity to do everything. Absolutely, and we don't want to tell people they can't do things, just like we don't want to be told we can't do things. Exactly, exactly. Listen, I am so grateful to have you in my life. I'm so happy that we have this friendship. You truly are one of the people that I'm like, I have you in my life. I'm so happy that we have this friendship.

You truly are one of the people that I'm like, I love you so much and I really consider you to be one of my best friends. And the fact that we're going through fatherhood together is such a joy for me. One of the first meals I was able to take Sully out with me, just me and him, you joined us with Tess. And I was like, I cannot believe we're just here

with our kids, like, chilling at a restaurant in Larchmont. It just, I'm so happy we're doing this together and thank you so much for doing this and coming out. And I cannot wait to see the renovation show. I knew it was gonna happen. It was just a matter of time. Well, thank you. No, Jesse, the exact same to you as well.

I don't have a ton of really super close actor friends too. So it's really nice to know somebody for a long time because we get to talk about. The biz. Get to talk about the biz in a way that like someone who really, you know, have some similar experiences. Yeah.

I really appreciate you. You're very valuable to me. You're valuable to me. Is that where you're going? Let's try that again. You're valuable to me. That's why dinner's on me. Oh.

This episode of Dinner's On Me was recorded at Kazan in Beverly Hills. Next week on Dinner's On Me, you know her as the iconic Nina Van Horn in Just Shoot Me, Victoria Chase in Hot in Cleveland, and more recently from Apple TV Plus's Shrinking, It's Wendy Malek. We'll get into Wendy's life living on a ranch in the mountains with her miniature donkey, sharing the screen with Harrison Ford and the insightful life lessons she learned from Betty White. You'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to search your free trial today.

Dinners on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our show runner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Bear engineered this episode. Hans-Dale Shee composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison.

Special thanks to Tamika Balanz Kalasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week. All right, let's talk about something near and dear to my heart. Building the perfect sandwich. And yes, yes, I take this very seriously. Step one. You need a great bread. Fresh, crusty, something with character. Step two. Boar's head oven-gold turkey. Always. It's juicy, it's flavorful, it's the backbone of this operation.

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