Doug Loves Movies - Rory Albanese, Brandon Collins and Tom George guest
Episode Date: September 5, 2022Doug welcomes Rory Albanese, Brandon Collins and Tom George to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to&n...bsp;stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.
movies this is doug loves movies it's sunday september 4th 2022 and my guests today are brandon collins rory albanese and tom george hello gentlemen hey hello everybody
let's meet everybody let's get past the awkward part meet everybody individually starting with our dangling champ a man who uh won the show won the games uh two weeks ago
and so now he's back it's our friend brandon collins hello brandon hey doug and everybody
it's great to be back um you're out in California now, I hear.
Yeah, I'm back in the inferno.
I just ate it over here so much.
It's so hot.
I went to Ralph's, which is a grocery store for folks that are in this area.
I went to Ralph's at 8 a.m., and it was already 91 degrees.
But not inside Ralph's.
No, no.
In Ralph's, it was 85 degrees so it wasn't right a little colder
i went into a target today when i walked in it was the most refresh it was so cold inside it was
so refreshing but um but what about like it must be drippy humid hot in new york right now you you
prefer that over california hot yeah i mean because in new york it's like
that's expected but there's nothing better than walking to the subway and you get on the subway
and it's like freezing cold and we have to deal with the smell of the homelessness um that's that's
way more preferable than everywhere in california just smelling rancid when it's really hot. Really? It smells bad? I didn't even notice that.
Studio City, there's a lot of
people seeking
shelter.
Just pull an orange off a tree, dude, and put it up to your house.
We are
also joined today by
another returning champ, our winner
from the last episode,
Rory Albanese.
Hey, Rory. Hey, Doug.
I didn't know I was going up against another champ today.
I would have slept more last night.
It just doesn't get – yeah, you probably would have done more exercises.
Wouldn't have smoked so much pot last night, you know.
Yeah, I hear you.
But just like last week when you won, the questions are still ridiculous.
So it really is anybody's game, but Brandon really does have a knack for it.
He's won a lot of times.
And we've got a first-timer today.
Director of See How They Run in theaters in the U.S. on September 22nd.
It's Tom George.
Hello, Tom.
Hey, Doug.
How are you?
I'm good.
I don't want to start with a correction because this feels like it's very much not my house.
Right.
But September 16th for the for the for the movie in the U.S.
22nd in the U.K. No. Ninth in the U.K. in the US, 22nd in the UK.
No, 9th in the UK.
Where did I get 22nd?
Where did I get that number?
It's just people are going to miss it if they're
banking on a 22nd.
9th.
September 9th
where you are
and September 16th where we are.
Perfect.
Not to draw any lines in the sand,
but could you give us,
I know you probably do a lot of interviews about the movie since it's coming
out so soon.
Sure.
What's your quick,
how do you describe it quickly to people?
See how they run is a murder mystery. It also a comedy it's also a film that's
about murder mysteries uh it stars sam rockwell sasha ronan um they play detectives investigating
a murder in 1950s london backstage at a very famous murder mystery play that is taking place
at the time so it's a murder mystery within
a murder mystery but really it's like a character comedy uh you you had me at all of that all of
that sounds great to me uh it's a lot of fun i mean there's nobody more fun than Sam Rockwell out there acting these days, in my opinion.
And yeah, that's just sounds super cool.
Yeah, it's cool.
And Saoirse Ronan is like, people won't have seen her like this before.
She's really funny.
I thought she was a great SNL host when she did that.
She was good.
The Saoirse Ronan song, I love that. Yeah, I would have never
known how to say her name if I didn't have that song
in my head.
Well, thank you for being here and
good luck with the movie.
I know I
was talking to Brandon
about it before we started rolling and
he's
excited to see it. And I'll speak for see it and I'll speak for Rory
I'll speak for Rory as well he can't wait
no don't
do that I'm never fucking
going to see that and you know why
he knows what he did
he knows what he did
I feel we weren't going to bring it up
if it was on the 22nd
I would have happily gone but this whole 16th mishap really threw me off yeah there's really there's some
sort of conspiracy going on with all these numbers yeah um okay well before we begin our
game portion today uh i like to do a segment called Recommendation Nation, where I ask be a fun topic to discuss workplace films,
movies that take place in some sort of work environment.
Brandon, do you have a film that fits that description that you'd like to recommend?
One that immediately comes to mind is this movie called Boiling Point.
It's with Stephen Graham. It was released
last year. It's a one-shot take
film of these
people in this restaurant, and it's
completely bonkers. If you like The Bear, that's
on FX right now, you'll absolutely love this movie.
I think you have to rent it for
$5.99 or Amazon or something like that, but it's
one of the best movies I saw last year.
Oh, so it reminds you of The Bear because it's about of the best movies i saw last year oh so it's a
reminder you have the bear because it's about like the high pressure world of yeah exactly
you're literally immersed in the restaurant for 90 minutes at the beginning of the dinner shift
and uh as someone who's worked in a few restaurants it was very accurate as to how
like everything's set up how the staff talks to each other, all that stuff.
All right. Boiling point. Have you heard of this movie, Rory?
I've not heard of boiling point.
I've heard of the boiler room with the boiler room is one of the movies that popped into my head. But you said workplace movies.
No, this doesn't have Giovanni Ribisi, unfortunately.
Oh yeah. That's, that's always a strike against any film.
Okay.
Rory, what do you think?
Do you have a workplace film in mind?
You know, it's just such an obvious one that I'm trying to think of something a little bit more interesting.
But, you know, my guess is there are some young people out there who have not seen Office Space.
And I just always recommend that movie because I think it's a fun one.
That's the movie that first popped into my head for that.
I think I've always enjoyed Office Space and the Office TV shows, both versions, because I've never really I've experienced.
I've seen enough of Office stuff that I get the humor, but I've never really, I've experienced, I've seen enough of office stuff that I get the humor,
but I've never really had an, you know, an office job. I would think people that work all,
I take it back though. I think people that work all week still love to watch the office. It's
crazy. Yeah. I just love, I love, you know, I'm not one of these like office space freaks who
thinks it's like, you know, a gospel, but it's a really funny movie. And I do like Mike judge's movies,
but I really love Gary Cole.
I think that Gary Cole's character in that movie is just such a home run.
The, uh, leaning over the desk coffee.
He's such an underrated comic talent.
Oh my God. Completely underrated comic talent.
And he's done so many great movies.
He had such a great run in like late nineties, early two thousands of like, just killer roles, you know, and he never done so many great movies he had such a great run in like like late 90s early 2000s
of like just killer roles you know and he never gets talked about yeah he's super funny in talladega
nights and uh there's another movie he's in that i saw once on like hbo called um god it's got
topher i think it's win a date with tad hamilton. Yeah. The name of the movie. And he plays his dad,
like Topher Grace's dad or something.
And this movie star is coming to his house and it's a really funny scene
where he's sitting on the porch and he's reading variety.
Cause he wants to fit in with his actor.
Who's coming to his house.
It's so funny.
And he starts saying things like,
I heard Disney went buff.
Oh,
for a,
you know,
it's very funny.
It's very funny. Trying to use variety. Yeah. He's trying to use heard Disney went boffo for, you know, it's very funny. It's very funny.
Trying to use variety.
Yeah, he's trying to use all the variety.
Like the mouse house is upset about, you know, it's really funny.
Hey, listen, I heard you had
to ankle our dinner party.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, Mike
Judge, The Office Space, space almost called it the office space
you can't be you can't beat that one uh but you know that's why i'm excited about boiling point
because i haven't seen that so i can check that one out but anybody who hasn't seen office space
uh should definitely see it. And Tom, uh,
what do you got for us?
This is going to be like a,
you know,
not,
not a sort of original shout.
I wouldn't have said,
but,
um,
it was kind of influential for me,
um,
would be like,
uh,
clerks or,
or clerks.
They,
uh,
the,
the Kevin Smith film,
the original,
now he's running the original.
He's like, yeah, that's true. I'm a tour with it. That, that, The Kevin Smith film. The original. Now he's running around with the new works.
He's like taking us on a tour with it.
That film came out when I was about 13 years old, 13, 14,
something like that.
And my best friend works at a video shop.
And so he brought it home one day.
And we just hadn't seen anything like it before, I think,
in a weird way. It was obviously like the sort of apex of, I suppose,
that slacker comedy when nothing really happens,
but it's like incredibly dialogue heavy and just,
I think, all black and white from memory.
But yeah, having then gone on to make a show over here
that was like very low on the
story.
That was a sort of big influence kind of early on for me.
So yeah,
I love that movie.
All right.
That's,
I think that's a,
a terrific choice.
It really,
it really was like such a big deal when that movie came out that a guy,
you know,
managed to just kind of self-finance
and make something that was that funny and uh felt so real yeah um all right i was gonna stay
off the space so now i'm like stuck trying to uh come up with a different one and uh you know
it's funny though because last week when we had school movies i was going to say
back to school and i switched it at the last second to three o'clock high because i thought
back to school was too obvious and then you had back to school so you know maybe you got to go
with a deeper cut yeah okay i'm gonna stick with back to School as my favorite office movie.
Because, you know,
there's teachers there. That's where they work. Just go with Working Girl.
We all know you want to go with Working Girl.
You know, Working Girl was never
my jam. I never
understood the
popularity of it. What about
Michael J. Fox's Secret of
My Success? Now now there you go
another movie i didn't get i was driven crazy by that movie because you can't have the you can't
have ferris bueller come out with that uh mount mount song yeah thank you and then do another
movie with it that was practically like the score that's like if you did a sitcom and you went
scene transitions was the music from
Seinfeld. It didn't make any sense
to hear that in another
movie so soon, too.
I was unbelievable that they did
that.
It is a perfect song for
scenes
where people are sneaking around and doing
stuff, but still it should only be in one movie.
And I think it was popped up in a few more things, probably mostly TV,
but it got so overused.
All right.
Thank you for your recommendations, guys.
And we're going to take our first commercial break for these important messages.
We'll be right back.
We are back.
And I feel like at least two out of the three guests today are going to,
this game is going to be in their wheelhouse.
But everybody, please correct me if I'm wrong.
The game is called Xanadu or Xanadont.
I was watching Xanadu the other day, and I realized, you know, again,
as I always do whenever I see it, I remember how bad it is and how much I love it.
I don't know why I like it so much.
A lot of people do, apparently, apparently out there it's got kind of
a cult following these days and i'm especially thinking about it with the passing of olivia
newton john i went back and watched a bunch of it so here's how this game works uh all of the responses are either XANA do or XANA don't, which translates to true or false.
I will start with Brandon.
I will tell you a fun or not so fun fact.
And then you tell me if it's a XANA do or a XANA don't.
All right.
True or false.
Obviously, there's not like three options here.
There's only two.
So when somebody misses one, the next player gets the next one.
And so you get them individually.
And if you miss it, we move on to the next one.
Starting, like I said, with Brandon.
But real quick, Tom, do you have any feelings about the film Xanadu?
Zero feelings at all.
Never seen it.
You've never seen it?
So I'm guessing that you weren't thinking of me as one of the two.
Tom, I'm with you.
I may have seen Xanadu once like 30 years ago.
So it's going to be.
Well, I thought it might have i thought it might
have worked for the two of you just in terms of like it being at least in a time of your life
where you might have nothing better to do than to watch it yeah yeah that did it you know the
slight annoying thing doug was that the one thing i did know about xanadu was olivia newton john and
now based on oh i'm sort of guessing that that's probably not going to be one of the answers. And so that puts me very much out of my depth.
That was one of my go-tos.
Did anybody see the concert at Wembley yesterday for Taylor Hawkins,
the tribute?
Yeah, that bit where his son came on a drum with him was just.
Unbelievable.
So I was emotional through that whole thing.
Dave Grohl's daughter shows up.
Eddie Van Halen's son, Wolfgang, plays Hot for Teacher.
I was like, I'd never imagined I'd be emotional listening to Hot for Teacher.
But it was just so cool that Eddie Van Halen's son can fucking play like that,
you know, can play like his dad, just come out there and do it.
It was amazing.
Anyway, and Taylor Hawkins' kid is young and can beat the shit out of a drummer.
What, 15, 16, and he, what, a drummer?
Yeah, he's terrific.
To come on in front of however many people and just play like that,
it was just, it was the, I came up filming music.
I used to film a lot of live music,
and that was the most emotional I've ever
been watching a concert.
Like just every single, like a film concert, you know?
Yeah.
Even stuff that had nothing to do with Taylor Hawkins specifically,
like, like the,
like Niles Rogers doing several David Bowie songs towards the beginning of
the concert.
I found that moving, like everything was great.
It was just charged.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very cool.
The dude, the lead singer from ACDC coming out,
still powering through Back in Black,
even though you can see that it's hard to sing.
It's just an amazing show.
But anyway, I brought it up because all of that amazingness happened
with a drum kit that had Olivia Newton- john's face from xanadu on it
yeah okay so that's not gonna be a question either no no no yeah all right here we go brandon Okay. True or false?
Xanadu, Xanadu.
Xanadu was Gene Kelly's
last acting job.
I'm going to go
with Xanadu.
Don't?
Well, guess what, Brandon?
That is correct
because he's managed
to squeak in a couple episodes of
The Love Boat
before
retiring or
passing, whichever happens first.
All right. Brandon's on the board.
Rory, it's your first. All right. Brandon's on the board. Rory, it's your turn. All right. Okay.
Roger Ebert said in his review of Xanadu,
it was like a shit took a shit.
I'm going to say Xanadu don'ts to that.
I think that's a reasonable guess that is correct
i mean that is just this i mean that's pretty harsh review i didn't people
well received by critics come on feels more feels more like siskel than the eber was it you know
right yeah okay uh tom yeah here we go okay while making the film olivia newton john fractured her coccyx
hmm i'm gonna say xana do
you guys are killing this. That is also correct.
I swear you must have
seen Xanadu a bunch of times because how
else would you know?
I watched the
behind the scenes feature.
That's what I was going to say.
He didn't watch the movie. He just read
the book.
Okay.
We're back to Brandon.
Okay.
Coxix is spelled C-O-X-X-Y-X.
Can you say that one more time?
Yeah.
Coxix is spelled C-O-X-X-Y-X.
I'm going to go with Xanad zen adult i can't fool you guys no it's too many
it's pretty close you can't have four consonants like that yeah it's pretty it's the real spelling is pretty wild. I'll tell it to you if I knew it. Okay.
We're back to Rory.
Inspired the creation of the Razzie Awards.
Feels a little early
for the Razzies. I'm going to say Xanadont.
I'm sorry. That's incorrect. The Razzies. I'm going to say Xanadu don't.
I'm sorry. That's incorrect.
The Razzies were thought of when the,
when they realized that Hollywood could make a movie that bad,
that big of a budget and an amazing music,
electric light orchestra wrote some great songs.
I know I'm a big ELO guy.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Okay. Well, but you still, you're still in this, Rory.
You're still on the, you're still on the call.
Tom?
Mm-hmm.
Xanadu or Xanadu?
Gene Kelly, back to Gene Kelly, the great
Gene Kelly, once
played a character named
Pinky Benson.
I'm going to say Xanadon.
Sorry, but of course he played a character named Pinky Benson.
And it's one of my proudest moments.
It's in a film called What a Way to Go.
That is very entertaining.
It's one of your proudest moments because you share the same last name. Yeah. And but also just I would never I would never go by a name like Pinky.
But just hearing,
hearing characters refer to a pinky Benson, uh, makes me happy. Uh,
and it's a crazy ass movie because it's the story of Shirley McClain.
Uh, at, during the course of the film, Mary's Dick Van Dyke,
Gene Kelly, Paul Newman, stop me. if any of these don't ring a bell
and who's the fourth one? Now I can't think of the fourth one
but anyway, she marries all these dudes over the course of the film
and the joke of the movie is every guy she marries is rich and then
dies and then she gets their money so she just keeps getting richer
as each of these famous actors who plays their husbands
dies in really crazy weird ways.
Oh, that sounds like a fun movie.
It's so weird and fun.
You'll be stunned at every turn by how weird and fun it is.
It's called What a Way to Go.
But now, back to Xanadu
and this very exciting competition. Brandon can
sew up this game
if he gets the following one correctly.
A featured band
that performs in the film
is called
The Loops.
The Loops?
Have you ever seen Xanadu, Brandon?
I have not.
This is amazing that I picked three
guests.
I'm just going to go with Xanadont.
I don't know.
Xanadont.
No, I'm sorry. Apologies.
I get the sound effects wrong sometimes.
Oh. Yeah, because you said, you said don't. And, uh,
you're correct. Cause there isn't a band called the loops, uh, in the film,
but I, uh, you know,
I hope somebody had kind of had a vague idea, uh,
that the tubes were featured in, uh, the movie.
Cause then I could have tricked you,
but it's hard to trick
people when they don't even know what the hell you're talking about um congratulations brando
is this we're checking out doug like i it doesn't sound very appealing even for this trivia but
does anna do yeah well the thing is is it's kind of surprising how terrible it is. Like the lead
actor in it is this guy named Michael Beck. He was also in a movie called the warriors. And, uh,
for, I don't know how he landed this role because it is the most wooden lead performance in a major
motion picture that I could probably think of other than other parts played by that same guy.
So, uh, uh, that part of it is strange that
he's so terrible but then Olivia Newton-John's cute and can sing and dance and Gene Kelly
obviously can sing and dance and roller skate and it's about roller it's about roller disco it's
just oh it's just an absolute mess but people find it a fascinating mess. If you just go start reading about it on the internet, a lot of people are somewhat obsessed with it.
And then the final one that I had written that we don't need to get to
because Brandon ran away with this thing is I,
I wrote director Robert Greenwald's next movie was endless love starring
Brooke Shields, another kind of famously trashed movie.
But that was a Xanadu because it was directed by Franco
Zeffirelli.
And then the tiebreaker, if there was a tie amongst any of you,
I was going to say, closest without going over is Xanadu's Running Time.
And again, you're all just in the dark about how long it was.
How long would you guess it is without knowing anything about it, Brandon?
Probably because this is like 1980 something, right?
Early 80s.
I would say probably like around 98 minutes or so.
A little over an hour and a half.
I'm not even going to ask Rory and Tom
because it's an hour and 36 minutes long.
Oh my gosh.
Which is short for a musical.
That would be a good time for about 80 movies, though.
Yeah, but it's short for a musical.
But it's long for that one.
All right.
Congratulations, Brando.
Tom, Rory, all Brandonon wins i call him brando sometimes
all brandon wins is uh he gets to go first in our next game that we will play right after
these messages we'll be right back we're back and uh i'm very excited about our second and final game
that we're going to play today, the one that determines our winner.
How do you fellas feel about, let me just check your temperature,
since nobody saw Xanadu, I got to double check and see.
Have any of you seen Jaws?
Yes, yes.
Yeah, that made it over here. I'm asking for all of us. We've all seen Jaws? Yes. Yes. Yeah. That made it over here.
I'm asking for all of us.
We've all seen Jaws.
You mean the,
uh,
you mean that,
uh,
that,
that Gene Kelly shark picture?
Yeah.
I'm so,
I'm so happy to hear that,
that Jaws made it over the pond.
Yeah.
Made it a limited release,
but,
uh,
it kind of then picked up on VHS and it was big hit after that.
It just, it just came out in england like two years ago
yeah is it is it a scary movie over there or do you just sit there thinking i'm not at that beach
yeah i think what we have those what's that well they weren't at the sea there's no shark in the
thames what are we doing it's a it's just, it's a scary movie. It is a scary movie.
It crops up in horror film lists pretty regularly,
which I always find a bit weird.
But, I mean, it is obviously like it's built that way, I suppose.
But it's not what you immediately think of when you think of the horror genre,
is it, really?
Well, it's right up there with the people arguing about whether it's horror
or not is right up there with whether or not to die hard as a Christmas movie,
which is just like,
which it is right.
By the way,
you could argue that it's not about Christmas and then,
okay,
great.
So we've both made our points.
Why do we need to have this discussion?
You know,
I was going to throw a real fucking curve ball earlier into this show,
which was when you said an office movie,
I was almost going to say die hard because it is also an office movie.
Yeah.
I mean,
if we want to put it in another genre,
that is a work party that he's at is a work party.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're in the office the entire movie the entire
movie yeah yeah it's just not a great situation it's the opposite of i would i would call it a
great office christmas party but it is it's got alan rickman there though so that's pretty fun
if you ask me yeah yeah that's true yeah and it's got cocaine and bathroom sex that the terrorists interrupt.
Right.
The so-called terrorists.
I've said too much.
All right.
So, John is, I brought it up because it's back in theaters in IMAX this weekend.
So, I think I might actually go check it out for go check it out, see it for the millionth time.
I thought it would be fun, in honor of that occurrence,
to play a game with the movies
of Steven Spielberg. So we're going
from Xanadu to something everybody, all film lovers, should be very
familiar with, is
Steven Spielberg movies. And what we're
going to do with those movies is
play F. Mary
Kill.
I will tell you
the name of a Spielberg movie
that each of you
will get one
guess as to whether or
not a poll on Twitter
yielded the highest
number for
fuck, marry, or kill
of a particular
Steven Spielberg film.
You'll each, since you're, you know,
since the person who goes first gets to pick from
three options and then the options
lessen as we go forward. Each of you will get a round where you get to go first and uh of course brandon will get
to go first if there's a tiebreaker because he because he won the first game um what would you
say the context is for fucking mary here dog would you say uh it's like a buzz but i don't you know
it's a rush,
but I'm not sort of in for the long haul, I suppose.
Is that what we're saying?
But,
or you're going to rewatch it.
Is that,
I don't,
is that a marriage?
I feel like,
I feel like you're defining it as we go,
because I never,
I never put anything on it other than I named the Spielberg movie and told
people to pick one of the three things.
I didn't give them anything else to go on.
So you're in the same position there, Ian, in that
what does it mean to F a movie
or marry it or kill it? But I agree with you that I feel like kill means
get it out of my life altogether. Marry means you live
with it. And F it means, you know, it's probably good once.
But that's just my take.
Got it.
That is clear.
That's as clear as it's going to be.
That's as clear as this dumb game is going to get.
Okay.
Brandon, let's go ahead and start off with Jaws.
What do you think?
Do you think in a poll on Twitter, that's the other thing to keep in mind,
is people answer polls, they're disingenuous when they answer.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I never do good on these ones because I go for the logical choice,
and then you're like, nope, these people are insane online.
Yeah, so what do you think these insane people say about Jaws?
Would they rather F it, marry it, or kill it?
I would hope
they would say marry it.
Right? Because it's a great movie.
Yeah. I'm going to go
with marry it. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
I love your attitude.
Rory.
Oh, sorry. Pardon me. Let's go to Tom.
Tom?
So I can pick one of what's left?
Yes.
So you get F for kill.
You can pick this.
Can I pick? No.
Not in this game, no.
Well,
you can't want to kill it.
That would be insane.
So I guess
given the fact
that I can't say marry,
F it?
At the very least, you're going to F Jaws.
Right? Yeah. Okay.
And that leaves Rory
with kill it.
But I
picked marry.
I know I have kill, but I'm picking mary but that's what's fun about this game is that you lose points if you go with mary because uh only 30 percent of people polled
picked mary so that's how many points brandon has 30 and then uh 31 said they wanted to kill it what i assume they're meaning the shark
itself you know uh okay you wouldn't want to f or marry a shark but you know again i didn't put any
more context other than just asking them to pick one for jaws it's like when you test your movie
and you ask them what character well they thought the different characters and they always hate the
bad guy and you're like right but was that because of the performance
or you just hated the bad guy?
Because if so, that's good.
And sometimes the performance is so good that that, you know,
that they really do think they hate the actor
because the character is so annoying or evil or whatever it is,
but it's just good work on their part.
We're just swimming in unseen biases.
I don't know how we're supposed to get to the bottom of this.
Yeah.
This is awkward.
I like I've lost faith in cinema,
Twitter.
Uh,
and,
so the people who want to F it,
which I guess is because they love it is,
uh,
39%.
So Tom,
you are in the lead so far because you want i'm not gonna go on the record to say tom george wants to f jaws but it certainly
worked out in your behalf to uh to say that here tom you're gonna go first in our second round okay
unless anybody wants has anything that more they want to say about Jaws because I can talk about Jaws all day
I just want to say I'm so disappointed in your audience's answer
to this I mean I get like they could go
fuck because they love it so much but
we got to marry this thing
we got to keep it forever
how can a movie that's still
talked about 45 years later
and is back in the theaters
be a fuck it movie I mean it's crazy. And is back in the theaters to be a fuck it movie. I mean,
it's crazy. This is crazy.
Really? Let's just quit.
Let's just quit. I'm having a hard time. I'm going to go
see if there's roof access at this hotel
and decide what I want to do here.
You know, you don't even have
to jump. You can just burn to death.
That's right. I'll just stand on the roof
for 20 minutes.
I'll just stay in this hotel until you're dead.
Don't have to leave a mess for anybody.
All right. So yeah, Jaws is just, just an amazing movie.
So I guess that's why they want to, they want to F it, but it's a,
you never know. And believe me, these get weirder than this one.
So Tom, you're first on this round.
Okay.
I mean, the one that started a series is now finally going to make it to a fifth installment.
What do you think people said when asked about Raiders of the Lost Ark?
What do you think people said when asked about Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Sometimes now referred to as Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark,
which I don't think that is necessary.
We know Indiana Jones is in that movie,
and we also know that the other movies aren't as good that's true i like temple of
doom more but that's just because it's crazier yeah there's all the voodoo sure yeah um there's
the fight i like i like when a guy's heart gets pulled out of his chest and they have to create
they have to create a new movie rating because of it um okay obviously now i'm trying to i feel like we've got some insight now into
the sort of the jury the way the voters minds work um but it's not really helping me but i'm
having to factor that in in real time sure the delay um well it's another film that they should
really love and so
the audience on Twitter probably
want to fuck it
I'm going to say
okay
that's a reasonable
assessment as far as I'm concerned
Rory I'm concerned. Rory?
I'm going to go with
marrying Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Okay.
Just, you know,
probably a quiet ceremony with just a few
friends. Yeah.
It doesn't have to be a big thing.
Yeah, and you have to close your eyes
because, you know, when they open up
the Ark at the end of the ceremony, most people
melt or explode.
Because they keep the rings in the arc,
which is always a mistake.
Stupid place
to leave the ring.
And then nobody pays attention when you say it.
Don't look at it.
That's my favorite thing about all movies.
It's like the way they get out of it
is just by closing their eyes.
It's just like they wrote themselves into a corner.
They're like, hold on a minute.
I'm going to look at it.
These are going to look at it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But you're idiots.
OK, so, Brandon, that leaves you with.
Wait, what are you going to do to it?'m gonna kill it i believe right oh okay yeah which which i was gonna choose that one anyway because i feel like
your audience has just gone completely off the reservation so i imagine that they might like you
know want to kill it because there are some you know problematic themes and raiders of the lost
ark and i think we're a little bit more sensitive.
So people will watch this movie.
The film Twitter hates cultural appropriation and the removal of relics from their home land.
I think a big issue in that movie is they had a lot of
non-Nazis playing Nazis, which isn't right.
You know, because it's so hard for Nazi actors to get work.
Yeah. And it was a great opportunity to kill some nazis because they die at the end at the very least punch a few that movie has that movie and temple of doom has some of the
loudest punches ever recorded like indiana jones has a harder fist than the hulk i think
do they have industry do they have ilm doing the fucking sound effects and that? They got it.
It's so loud.
Okay. We got to
break down these scores here because
you're not going to believe this shit.
Turns out
they came to their senses
with Raiders and
not too many people want to kill it.
That only got
12% of the vote. 41% want to kill it. That only got 12% of the vote.
41% want to marry it.
Yeah.
And, Tom, you really figured out this puzzle.
You got the 47 points because of all the people that want to F it.
Hey, Doug, can you start doing your surveys on truth social?
I feel like it's more accurate.
I do think I would get a different.
I would like to know the difference in these surveys.
Over on Truth Social, the answer every time I don't go see those woke movies.
Right, right, right, right, right.
All they say is Kirk Cameron in that.
is all they say is kirk cameron in that that's the great thing about kirk cameron though is he doesn't even have a big following
amongst the people who should be into what he's doing that's fair you know
what's that i was just gonna say kirk cameron like if you watch him do interviews you get why he doesn't have a following he has a personality of a fingerprint on glass it's not engaging yeah
he's not like you know somebody like i don't know like joel austin or something where they
you know there's at least i don't see it personally but i can see where people get
caught up in uh whatever charisma he happens to have Is that why you do this at two o'clock on Sunday?
So you can finish Joel Osteen.
I got,
I got to watch all I watch.
First I watch meet the press.
And then also then,
then I meet the Lord.
And,
uh,
and that's usually followed.
It's time for the show.
I follow that with a little,
I do a little math.
Nice little Sunday
it's a great Sunday
I know how to have fun on a Sunday
I don't like to get that expression Sunday fun day
because it's the easiest day of the week to have fun
just right there
okay I'm not going to tell you
what the scores are I'll add it up because you're all still
pretty close together
and it's we've got one more round before I have to determine going to tell you what the scores are. I'll add it up because you're all still pretty close together.
We've got one more round before
I have to determine
what everybody's scores are.
Rory gets to go first this time.
Then Brandon, then Tom.
We're going to talk about
another
Spielberg classic,
E.T.
You know that one?
E.T.
You know that one, guys?
Oh, I've heard of it, yeah.
I haven't seen E.T. in a long time,
and I just don't, I don't know if I saw it again,
if the magic would be gone, or if I'd still love it.
I think I saw E.T. in the theater as a kid yeah that was about it
yeah and it's but it's also i saw it enough that it's ingrained in my i can picture every scene
so when the scenes happen i'll be like yeah i know this already so i just don't know but i don't know
if the overall feel of it uh that's why just so you know everything you're saying about it is the
reason my i'm going with kill on et kill oh did
i help you well no it's just i feel the same way about et like i don't feel like it's a movie
that if it's on you know like jaws if jaws is on like even if it's just on like cable like i've
turned on the tv and jaws is on like tnt or something like i just watch it it's jaws you
know same with raiders of the lost ark pt nah it's a kill for me
it's it's a bit unsettling it's an unsettling family drama for sure yeah and you know they
went back and removed the guns and made them walkie-talkies yeah i think they undid that
they did okay that's crazy yeah i think they fixed it and and you you know, and also, yeah, it was also, I mean, it was just weird how the movie just becomes about how the government would squash any joy that comes from another world, you know, like.
Totally.
So it's not, it definitely, even as a kid, I, you know, the whole part where E.T. almost dies is just rather drawn out and like so what you
know like we know he doesn't die um yeah it's like they really needed to save some production value
in the tent bit wasn't it when they're in those sort of hazmat tents biosecure tents it's like
god do we need another scene here yeah because we've got to pay for the bike flying and all that
yeah because we've got to pay for the bike flying and all that about time people really piled on et yeah fuck yeah pointed out what a piece of garbage it is
alert the affiliates will be going long we got more shit to fucking say i felt it i felt that
spielberg and uh lucas were like getting into an area where where I would stop enjoying their work as much
when a character in E.T. plays with Star Wars action figures.
It's just too...
What universe is what here?
Because then E.T. appears as an alien being
in the Star Wars prequels.
You know, in those scenes where they have the council or whatever,
there's a bunch of E.T. looking.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Mother effer. So the whole timeline
and the existence of E.T. and what he really
is and what Star Wars characters
really are, all of it is very
confused at this point.
If you want to be confused, or you could just look
the other way. Brandon?
Yes.
What do you think? I'm going to go with
Mary because I'm a comedian and I believe in the
rule of three, so I'm going to set up Tom
with a three-four with
a fuck. I appreciate it.
Oh, that's so nice
of you. But it's also possible some people
legit want to marry E.T. marry ET because you know people are freaky
so let's go with that
yeah
yeah I really feel like we still
haven't tied down what these three
means
but yeah so that leaves
you're stuck with F
and you know it's really
paid off of you for you
twice in a row and uh this is where
this is where they turn because the lowest amount of votes went to f e t yeah uh that does people
don't want to do that apparently uh only 21 people want to have ET and they should probably be put on a watch
list
you know at least
you know get married first I say
get married ET first
before you have sex
the marry came in
a little higher at
29 but
50
people 50% of people want to kill et that makes sense right yeah uh so let me
add up the scores really i will say about effing et in et's defense you have no idea what that
light up finger is capable of so it could be it could be you know incredible you don't really know i
would imagine it would be to be honest man i just remember when et was like sick and he was all pale
and screaming that haunted me for years yeah i don't even remember that yeah he just when he's
you know there's that whole thing that was in dies. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he gets really sickly and sad.
And then, you know, but then the power of love brings him back.
I always thought it'd be funny if E.T. kept saying phone home
because he just wanted to call them and say, hey, I like it here better.
Peace out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, just wanted to touch base with them.
I don't really want to
go back there a bit of a misunderstanding but i've added up the totals and i'm shocked by these
numbers but uh brandon is in third place with 71 points tom got 107 and our winner again today. How is that possible?
Is Roy Albanese with
122
points. You nailed it.
How is that possible though? Brandon got like
all of them. Well, you got
number one with the
Kelly T and you got number
two with Mary Raiders
and you got
number two with Kill Jaws and you got number two
with Kill Jaws. So you were like,
your averages were pretty
good.
But Tom was really killing it with
effing everything.
And then E.T.
ruined that.
Tom's just effing everything out there, man.
He can't stop.
Freaking E.T. What's the logic? I just don't get it. People He can't stop. Freaking E.T.
What's the logic? I just don't get it.
People are repulsed by fucking E.T.,
but they'll fuck a shark?
Yeah, it was bonkers.
I mean, that's what happened to the new game, so
congrats, Rory.
I mean, I'm not
going to lie. These rules are
fundamentally flawed, but I'll
take the win.
Do you ever watch Family Feud?
Yes, yes. It's got a very Family Feud level of...
You see real quick what people think is a clever answer to these questions.
But just for fun, because I did the, I did the work.
I did a poll for Jurassic park.
So does anybody have any feelings about what way they think that would go?
I mean,
that's not Mary.
I will lose my mind.
I don't want to send you away.
Jurassic park. Yeah. away. Original Jurassic Park.
Yeah.
OG Jurassic Park.
I don't even talk about Jurassic world in any context ever.
Gotta be Mary.
Gotta be Mary.
It has to be.
You think?
If it's not Doug,
I don't want to play this game ever again.
Okay.
Well,
chances are you won't anyway,
because,
uh,
you know, i haven't dragged
this one out this is only the second time i've ever played it and uh it doesn't really make sense
oh no i meant your show doug i meant i will not do it uh jurassic park got 40% of the respondents saying they want to F it.
And 34% want to marry it and 26% want to kill it.
Wow.
So, yeah, another strange set of numbers.
But I guess in this case, the F it feels more like because they love it.
Or they're confusing it with Jurassic World
and they're mad at it.
Because if anybody saw the most recent Jurassic World,
I feel like it's not happy about it.
Nope.
And then Brandon steps in as that example.
You saw it?
I saw it twice, unfortunately.
And the only worst Jurassic Park film besides Dominion was the one before that.
So I've had two stinkers in one of my favorite franchises ever.
I can't believe Dominion didn't turn out great considering they named it after voting machines.
What an exciting word to put in a title okay um rory albanese you get to promote yourself first
because you won today what would you like to i'm going to promote myself for which makes no sense
because i don't know when this airs but i'm in las vegas right now it airs tonight so they can't
see you tonight sneak out everybody vegas listening to this you tonight. Sneak out everybody. Vegas listening to this. You can still make it.
You're listening to it live somehow
if you're my neighbor and you're listening.
But what else?
I mean, she got the one show in
Vegas tonight and you don't do a show tomorrow night?
No, there's just the one tonight.
I don't really have any other things
to plug. Unfortunately, we can't.
Aren't I coming back now?
So I'll have something else to plug have to yeah you can come up with
something else i'll yield my plug time to these guys i would like to yield the remainder of my
plug time yeah just like on that uh zoom call in the beginning of the pandemic though you should
say i i yield my time uh fuck the police or what were they saying they were telling they were telling the people
running the zoom call on the la city council people kept saying uh they they'd go that's my
time fuck you like they throw in an expletive right before they hung up and people just kept
saying it on this zoom call and you just get to watch these city officials just sit there and have to take it. Oh yeah. Weirdest thing.
Okay.
So Tom George,
terrific first time guest.
I hope you had fun.
I loved it.
This is great.
Oh good.
Give them all the correct dates.
Now,
as we end the show for the release dates for see how they run,
see how they run is in cinemas.
Ninth of September in the UK andemas 9th of september in the
uk and the 16th of september in the us uh stars sasha rohan and sam rockwell adrian brody david
ayelowo and a whole bunch of uh amazing british comic actors uh it's a whodunit for fans of
whodunit but also for people who wouldn't usually go see a whodunit so um get out uh and it's the perfect
film to see back in theaters it's like um made to see with groups of people and uh laugh out loud
with a with a with a big audience so um go see it on either the 9th or the 16th of september
depending on your uh sounds like a real uh sounds like a real marriott kind of film
well i mean if we knew what that meant, I would say yes.
There was a lady in some part of the U.S.
who was able through some sort of legal loophole or something.
She's legally married to a roller coaster.
Wow. Yeah. And I was like, well, I hope it's a metal one, you know, a legal loophole or something she's legally married to a roller coaster wow yeah and i was
like well i hope it's a metal one you know because as if it's a wooden one you know they can't really
consummate their relationship because did you make did anyone make that the hacky joke about
how relationships do have their ups and downs yeah no i i go for the i go for the splinter sex jokes
I go for the splinter sex jokes is where I go
so
see it on those, wherever you can see it
if you could see it earlier in the UK
please reach out to the Doug Loves Movies
Twitter account and without any spoilers
tell us how much you loved it
everybody that's
listening if you see the movie tell me about it positive stuff only yeah thank you caveat yeah
yeah i don't need to mess around with there's no reason um brandon collins hey uh besides
checking out tom's film which i've been looking forward to, I've heard good things.
You all can follow me at American Collins on all social media platforms, AmericanCollins.com.
And if you like my comments on movies, you can listen to my movie review podcast, Medium Popcorn.
That's available in all public podcast applications.
Thanks again for having me on, Doug.
Always a pleasure.
Doug plugs, this particular show will be at Dynasty Typewriter on Saturday, September 17th at 420 in Los Angeles.
And then we're doing it at the Punchline in San Francisco on October 15th at 420.
Yeah, this has been a terrific episode. 15th at 420.
Yeah, this has been a terrific episode and I end every episode of the show
lately with a quote from a
movie. I say, as always, and then
what is often a very mundane line from the end of a movie,
but none of you will guess this one because
I chose the final line from Xanadu.
And you're not going to believe what a classic
I mean, you're just going to want to see Xanadu when you hear me say
the last line of the film. But before I do that,
thank you one more time to Brandon Collins,
Rory Albanese, and Tom George.
As always, I mean, I'd just like to talk to you.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!