Dragon Friends - OKC #1.05. Everything Happened Normal Style
Episode Date: May 12, 2023The troubleshooter's most dangerous mission lies ahead of them, and so they'll need equipment just as dangerous. Equipped with weapons that are as powerful as disguises as they are weapons, the troubl...eshooters are dropped right behind insurgent lines.Editor's Note:Tom's mic was lost for this session, meaning his audio needed to be recovered from other microphones. Normal audio will return next episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Everyone good? Everyone got a mince pie? Everyone got a little glass of water?
We're all...
Yeah.
Alright, the year 214, deep underground, ha ha ha, friend computer, maybe darkened fence,
but depending on your security clearance, this is paranoia.
What are you doing?
What was that?
Do it properly, Dave.
Fine.
First, the bad news.
The world is no longer habitable to human life.
Now for the good news.
Your new life starts today.
Down even deeper down than normal,
you have found yourselves in the RAND department in the service,
or at least an audience with the head of the RAND department,
a clone known as VictorILX57.
Not a typical clone, very into his job.
Very, very into the gear that is laid out in the tables in front of you.
And he has a question for all of you at this moment.
You with the orange jumpsuit, what's your name?
My name is StrawberryRCY42.
I have an important question for you. Yes. That orange jumpsuit, What's your name? My name is StrawberryRCY42. I have an important question for you.
Yes. That orange jumpsuit,
is it stiff?
Because this one I got a huge
stiffy. Once you get the indigo,
it's stiffy bloody central.
And he has another question for you.
If you could have, and this
sounds like a little bit of sedition,
so bear with me.
I'm looking at your loyalty, officer.
He says with the comfort that only a scientist in an indigo jumpsuit could have.
If you could have any mutant power, what would it be?
My only mutant power would be to serve friend computer better than I already do.
Okay, that sucks.
You. You.
I guess you would have the power of super suction.
You know, because you're sucking up so much.
That would be your power.
You'd be a big suckbot.
You'd be the suckbot 9000.
Now, just understand from my perspective, leading a team here,
you have flagged that this kind of conversation is obviously potentially seditious.
In an abstract scenario where i was so
misfortunate to be outside the system and benevolence of friends he looks he sees you and
his eyes light up and he puts a finger to his lips and then he walks runs into what this is like a
milk crate full of strange inventions he grabs when he slams it down on the table written on it
on tape on top of it is dead zone dead zone generator and he flicks a switch and then he
looks at you again and also as he does that everyone's heads up displays the trees and
stars the names plates all suddenly disappear and they go they become like variable not found
and things like that okay great i've got so many questions to my penis and balls.
Oh, yes, that's right.
Why don't you have a little peek?
Because you can.
Oh, can I?
Yes, there's no pixels here.
Can I peek down?
Yeah, you see unpixelated junk.
Is that your penis?
Is that your balls?
This has really made me understand my character a lot more fine specimen
he's activated a
small dead zone
which means that
you could talk
freely this is the
kind of wildly
inappropriate
privileges that
one as brilliant
as Victor can
make for himself
it's funny this is
the most contraband
item probably in
the whole of
alpha complex but
by activating it
computer can't
know about it so So it's not
quite a paradox, but it's silly.
Go on, have a
squiz beetle.
I'm sure you've got a handsome hog.
You didn't want me to check out my hogs, sirs.
My hogs? My hogs?
Did you say hogs, plural?
I imagine I have multiple penises or whatever.
There's a mutant in our midst.
Check out your hog and butthole.
Oh, look! And he starts to put it like he's. Check out your hugging butthole. Oh, look.
And he starts to put his hand
just over everyone's dicks.
Don't look.
No one's to look.
Just cuffing everyone's balls.
Please don't.
Please don't.
Okay, he's freaking out.
How about you?
Boingy legs.
Boingy legs.
He's just been like
holding that in this whole time.
But I actually, one of his little assistants comes up,
whose name is, I guess, Igor B721.
And he goes, there is, of course, the Peripulatron.
Yes, there it is.
There is that.
I will go and get it.
Igor will go and get it.
Igor, you go and get it.
Oh, very exciting.
And he runs away.
And then he pulls back a cart
and on that cart
is a pair of
what looks like
exoskeleton legs.
You sort of hop into it
like a pair of mechanical trousers.
Yes.
And he says,
quick, quick,
the troubleshooter should
just get up on this stepladder
and hop in.
I do it.
Okay, you do it.
And he tightens some belts
and he goes,
just try a small jump for now,
but a small one.
I do a small jump? You small, and and you go you jump eight feet in the air and you land down again my head on anything no you don't
because he says um they're actually in a dangerous room that has been created by the ran department
for testing these this equipment oh um it's very important it builds up pressure so you see that
little button on the side? Press it now.
It will vent the pressure.
And all of this hydraulic steam just dissipates instantly out of the legs.
Okay, so that means my legs are back to normal?
Well, it means that it's vented the energy that was stored by you doing the jump.
And yeah, you can walk around in it now.
It's large.
It's a bit awkward.
Have I got a little spring in my step, though, when I'm walking around?
You've got an almost uncomfortable amount of spring in your step.
This will blend in seamlessly, I hope, to your
jumpsuit, so that you will appear,
as is the mission,
to be one of mutant powers.
But it is just science.
Thank you very much, sir! I cannot tell you
how happy I am with two of the
things that have happened to me in the last two seconds.
I would
love to be able to manifest
fire.
See?
That's not bad. I'm going to have to report
you for sedition.
And he pulls out a pair of
gauntlets that look like heavy insulated
gauntlets. He slaps them down on the table.
Now this is not quite fire, but it is
fire of the gods.
This is electricity. You see?
These are electroshock
gauntlets. Put them on.
There are micro-tactile switches just underneath your middle
finger inside the glove.
So it turns on from the inside, so just flick that bad boy on.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, exactly. Blue arcs of lightning
cone out. And he goes, and if you push it forward
you can even fire small little globules of energy.
Give it a go.
Hit Ego.
No.
Hit Ego.
He doesn't mind.
I actually think he likes it.
What's the range on these bad boys?
Well, why don't we get Ego to start running and you can see.
He goes running.
He goes running.
We hit him in the back.
He collapses forward.
There's a hole in his back.
Collapses against a lot of equipment that is destroyed.
And Victor doesn't seem to care.
And then just stops dead on the floor.
Keep running, Igor.
He's not running.
We need a scientific test.
Stop being such a big baby, Igor.
So I move backwards and start getting the range.
Yeah, you keep shooting at the corpse of Igor.
You're just able to, it seems, hurl electricity out of the gauntlets.
They start to get a bit uncomfortably hot the more you use them.
And what's the distance?
Would you say there's a maximum range?
Oh, I would say maybe...
Yeah, 10 metres.
Okay, great.
The distance of a Nerf gun, basically.
That doesn't help me.
Yeah, 15 metres.
We'll say 15 metres.
That's good.
I can imagine that.
Yeah, great. And as you do that, there is. We'll say 15 meters. That's good. I can imagine that. Yeah, great.
And as you do that, there is a ding and the doors open and two figures enter.
A very slimy, very wet, very reproachful looking Igor too walks in.
And next to him is the figure of your friend, Buffcon.
Hello.
Buff.
And Buffcon, you're there and there's a sort of apologetic orderly next to you with a screwdriver.
And you're either, I don't know, weary or fury, but there's something going on in your face.
And you're dragging alongside you a large portion of the machine that has been disassembled to allow you out.
But it's still strapped like a huge piece of sort of mechanical dead weight around your wrist.
It's like when you get your hand stuck in a vending machine
and then they can't get you out, so they just cut it off
and then you're just sort of one with that machine.
You guys...
I am so sorry about this.
You guys don't have...
Never happened to you guys?
That has never happened before with the machine.
We're going to get it fixed.
Did you put your arm in there with like a slap band or something?
Yeah, I didn't realise that that was disallowed.
Okay, well, that should have been...
I'm going to have to have a word with Quattro.
And so, anyway, come back to PLC tomorrow.
We'll be able to get that thing off you.
Okay.
You know, sorry again.
It's very strange.
Wait, you there.
Yes.
Boy, what day is it?
You there.
What rank are you?
Well, I'm red.
I'm like you, but I work for technical services.
My name's Milo R. MBX1.
Let me tell you something.
If I ever get to yellow, you're fucking dead.
Well, I don't think this is...
You are fucking dead.
I'm the one that took the thing off you.
I didn't put...
Oh, no. Did you? Because it's still here, you fucking idiot. You fucking dead. I'm the one that took the thing off you. I didn't put... Oh, no.
Did you?
Because it's still here, you fucking idiot.
You're dead.
Generous gallant.
He turns white and he disappears,
but you can now meet the figure of Victor.
Oh, I liked this one.
He's got some fire in his belly.
Oh, hey there.
You boy.
Yes?
What day is it?
It's year 249, I think.
It's close enough.
If you could have, for this mission, you will need to appear as a mutant.
If you could have any mutant power, what would it be?
I would like something that makes up for my inability to do athletics or throwing.
Can I have an exoskeleton, please?
That's interesting. I think we an exoskeleton, please? Oh, that's interesting.
I think we might have something.
Victor, too?
Oh, yes.
Oh, you're all...
Igor, too?
Yeah, I really enjoyed being shot in the back.
You know, they say that after you die,
you can't feel repeated shots,
but I feel like I felt them.
Yeah, stopping such a baby.
This is you.
Wah, wah, wah.
That was my impression of you.
What did you think?
Well, how can I help you, sir?
Could you go get the experimental manual operations extensor, please?
Oh, yes, immediately.
The Mach 5.
And he goes and he lights up and then he wheels in a trolley.
And the trolley has what looks like a belt harness, like for a steadicam.
It kind of goes over your shoulders, goes around your waist.
what looks like a belt harness,
like for a steadicam.
It kind of goes over your shoulders,
goes around your waist.
And there is a huge metal,
kind of almost a version of a utility belt,
but hanging off the segments of it are little fibrous strings
made of what looks like a very strong,
thin, mechanical segment structure.
Kind of like tendrils, I guess, or mechanical tentacles.
They're really like...
Like Doc Ock, but really thin.
Really thin.
Filaments.
You'd miss them in certain lights.
Yeah, yeah.
But you can only see it when they sort of move.
And he takes it and he straps it around your waist
and then he presses a button
and suddenly all of the tentacles float in the air.
And then he takes a head piece and he puts it around your head, Bufcon.
And you suddenly get this weird sense that you can control these 600 tendrils.
Individually quite weak, but you can...
So go ahead.
You're an enemy.
With your mind, think about picking up Igor and throwing him across the room.
I don't think that that's necessary.
I have bought a baseball bat.
Igor, I'm picking you up now.
And I'm putting you in this chute here.
No, no, no.
Not this chute.
Not this chute.
You put him in the chute.
And then the doors open and a very wet and reproachful Igor 3 walks in.
And he's like, you know, we have the target practice dummy for this.
Yeah, you're the target practice dummy, dummy.
Yeah, Beetle.
What about you, brother?
I wouldn't mind being made invisible sometimes.
Oh, say no more.
Igor.
Yes.
Oh, yuck, you're so gooey.
It's not my fault.
It's the VAT.
There's something strange and itchy in the compound.
Yeah, get the auto-response imager off your hop.
But it's so heavy.
I know.
All right, and he walks forward, and then he takes a...
You sort of hear some tinkering, but then he brings out what looks not too heavy, another belt.
This one is a sort of belt harness, and it has...
Most of my technology is belt-based.
It has a gem in the center of it that sits in the middle of your torso.
What you need to do is let me just take this and set the frequency.
All right, press your hand over the lens,
and I want you to think of a portrait of a puppy.
You do that, and then suddenly blink,
and there's a sort of, the light around him,
you don't sort of see anything, but for the rest of you,
the light seems to shift around Beetle,
and then suddenly there's an easel,
and there's a portrait sitting there of a quite cute puppy yeah so the way this works is it just projects images
onto you that blend into the background so you're not actually invisible you know technically
speaking oh what do i look like right now you look like a portrait of a puppy okay so just another
question i did ask before if i could be invisible you just given me a way to look like a portrait of a puppy.
Well, no, no, no. Depending on the catalogue, you can become many things.
Yeah, like for example, see the wall next to the training area?
That brick wall? Think of the wall.
See if the wall texture is in your catalogue.
Does this mean that if I want to move invisibly, I have to think of every single part of my body as I walk? Frame by frame, maybe 24 a second the camera perspective will work with you so
people walk around you they will see it from the correct yes but if you move you're fucked
now this is not a weapon of violence but would you like to take a couple of swings at eagle
with a baseball bat?
He's cracking me, he smacks across the wall.
He's like, thank you, sir.
Yes, wonderful to work in the RAND department.
Okay, so now we have all our equipment.
Everyone's got their Christmas presents.
Everyone knows what they've got.
I'm responsible for everyone's equipment, okay?
Yes, you need to sign here.
Okay.
It's just last time they tried to put my hand in a machine.
Yes. And, um, it got stuck, so now I can't quite write. Oh, we actually have
the new, weren't you working on a new
system that would solve that problem?
Who has a four-colored pen?
No, the other system.
Oh, yeah, go get it. And he pulls
out and he's like, yes, unfortunately
we've heard reports of clones having their hands
stuck inside the signature machine.
Yeah, right here.
You fucking idiot.
This fucking thing here.
We've removed the shielding.
You just need to take your hand
and you need to place it
on the glass
and without the shielding
there's nothing to catch your hand.
Okay.
Sorry, he places his hand
on the thing.
Alright.
There's a white shock
and your hand sort of
comes back off
and you look at it and your fingerprints are gone.
Your entire skin is sort of white,
and your sense...
The senses of it are all sort of very, very strange.
Did you just steal my fingerprints?
Oh, steal is such a silly word.
Okay, you guys...
I need those!
How am I going to access my bank account?
You've got five others.
Get over it.
Wow, wow, wow.
That's you.
Also, I would for the next
12 hours try not to operate any heavy machinery,
use a pen, or
do anything that requires manual dexterity.
Okay, thank you very much. Goodbye. Can I just say,
Bovcon, you're being a real ego right now.
And just out of anger,
out of anger, Bovcon just
shoots ego. Ah, yes, very just shoots Igor. The laser pistol.
Ah, yes, very good, sir.
I'm sure you had perfectly good reasons
to test that.
He dies.
And as you all leave,
you hear a vroom
as a little Igor
starts waddling back into the room.
So you all have your experimental technology.
By the way, Hing,
you've got two large weapons.
So are you going to share?
Because you obviously can't wear
both of them on your back.
I'm talking about your rocket launcher and your cone rifle.
Oh, I think that is the cone.
I think, didn't I use the cone rifle last time?
Yeah, so you left it in your barracks for now?
That means you can use it whenever you want.
Yeah, I'll just have the rocket launcher.
Can I ask a question, Dave?
Yeah.
Is Beetle required to fulfill the outcomes of the mission,
or is his mission only to be a big,ch of it no he's a troubleshooter
he he responds he works for you and he works for the mission so he's still one of your troubleshooters
now as you make your way up to plc you see that quattro is still there and he and two other
orderlies are working on a quite large clone um with sort of the strange features and the
sideburns that you recognize and the big black
and yellow patch of the mutant leader that Insec has codenamed Firebrand. His name is Sykes.
Sykes, sorry.
Oh, and as they're doing this, they're actually, one of them is getting him to sign something and
another one of the orderlies is taking the black and yellow patch off his shoulder so that he can go undercover. So you say there's four colors in one pen?
Is this what you...
That is incredible, he's saying to Quattro.
Yeah, great.
300 credits is a bargain.
And he spends his only 300 credits,
and he gets a four-color Bic, which...
Yes, but that's like four pens in one pen.
Didn't he also invent one?
This isn't Victor.
You would be forgiven.
Sorry, my mistake.
This is Sykes,
an entirely different character.
One's German.
This is your mutant.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
Can I ask a question, Dave?
Sure.
If they are posing as mutants
with Sykes...
Wait, isn't that Firebrand?
Firebrand?
Who the hell is Sykes?
Firebrand is the codename.
Is what the insect used to call him.
Sykes is his actual name.
Oh, okay.
They're posing as mutants and wanting to pass as mutants.
Why is Sykes going undercover as not a mutant?
He's not going undercover as not a mutant.
He's himself, but he's taking off the black and yellow patch
that they use for their safety to identify him as registered
because he's not meant to be registered.
Taking off his yellow star.
Yeah.
Basically.
Comfortably close. I don't like it saying it like that, but yeah, he's taking off to be registered. Taking off his yellow star. Yeah. Basically. Uncomfortably close.
I don't like it saying it like that,
but yeah, he's taking off his identifier.
Cool.
This is what a world.
You know, you work underground for so long,
fighting the fight.
You come to the surface
and you see these technological wonders.
Blue, green, red, black, all in the one little caption.
I'm getting sick of this joke.
Mr. Sykes, here's your backpack with your mission equipment.
That's good.
You will know that your red laser pistol and any other weapons have not been assigned to you
due to the unique situation you find yourself in. Sign here.
Mm-hmm, I will.
He signs, and then he grabs a backpack and slings it over
his shoulder. Alright,
I am Sykes. You may call me Firebrand.
You are? And you,
you've got that mutant power where you can talk to
machines? I have a certain amount of
empathy toward machines, yes.
So, I've got an exoskeleton
on now. Yes. Can you
make it, um, do stuff?
If I chose to, I might be able to.
Prove it. I do not choose to.
Prove it now. I do not choose to. I don't believe you can
do it. You feel a slap across the face.
One of your tendrils
slaps you.
Was that you? Did you do that or was that a malfunction?
It could have been an incredible
coincidence. Perhaps we will never know.
I guess we just don't know.
It's great
to do this mission with you,
Mr. Firebrand. My name is
Clancy. Clancy?
Yes. That was
me saying hello. He's not a
conversational guy.
I am the leader of the team
Strawberry RCY42.
Glad to
have you aboard.
And you're a double agent, you say?
This is correct.
So you were born a mutant.
You've now been recruited by the Alpha Complex.
And now you're going back there to betray your own kind.
You must feel like a fucking loser.
Like a real piece of shit. He sort of sighs and looks down.
I have wrestled with my conscience on this for a long time.
And where'd you come to? Why did you settle on?
Well, you have put it very succinctly that a part of me philosophically feels like a real piece of shit.
And the rest of you?
The movement has lost its way.
I was a commander in a Scion cell for a long time.
in a Scion cell for a long time and I saw some things
that made me question
whether our means justifies the ends.
What kind of things?
I saw a man punch a dog.
What kind of dog?
You just punched me!
Yes, but you are lower than dog.
This was a dog in a blue suit.
It was a dog.
He had a little suit on
and some shoes.
And the man, he said, for the revolution! And then he punched a dog. He had a little suit on and some shoes. And the man, he said, for the revolution.
And then he punched the dog.
And I said to the man, why? What's for the revolution?
Wait, it was a man or a mutant?
It was, we do not make this distinction.
Mutants are men. Men are mutants.
No, it works one way.
All right, you have your mission equipment.
You have your experimental gear.
You also have custody.
And actually, at that moment, the blue coat goes and says,
you have a loyalty officer on you?
Yeah.
All right, you're prepared to take custody for this very dangerous criminal
being responsible to make sure that they are maintained
as a high-priority asset of Alpha Complex.
They will not escape.
They will not be killed.
They will not lose those abilities that make them an asset.
You will be issued with a single syringe with a dose of Ultronox,
which is a powerful sedative that can incapacitate and paralyze its user.
It must be administered in a single stab to the neck in close quarters.
Only use it if you feel it is necessary.
It gives you a little plastic case that has a syringe in it.
Wow, Clancy,
you and I could have
bought a party with these.
Oh, that's right.
Do you want to?
A bit later,
back in the parish.
Very small doses of Ultronox
are sold on the grey market
because it is a powerful
recreation drug
in entirely small doses.
But, of course,
you would never dream
of using it that way.
And he says...
Just use it to kill people, right?
Sleep them to sleep.
A little bit for mummy, a little bit for the baby.
Great.
The baby's the one you're putting to sleep.
Sign here.
And he gives you a clipboard for a signature.
All right, you sign and you now have custody.
As you fulfill all of the little meetings that you need,
your HUDs, because you've stepped out of the dead zone,
all light up and you can see a destination that you're heading to inside the sector which is hab complex lime tree tango lime
three tango can i just quickly clarify our mission yeah so we're taking firebrand which is his
internal code name i'm gonna get i was gonna be really clear yeah you should be clear about this
yeah yeah firebrand is what we call him, not Sykes is what they call him.
Okay.
So we should be calling him Sykes.
If you call him an insect codename in front of another mutant,
that would suggest that he is in insect custody, which he is.
But they could just be like, if that happened, I'd be like,
yes, these are my new friends.
I have a new nickname.
They say, you are strong like Firebrand.
So they give me this nickname.
It sounds like he wants you to call him Firebrand.
It sounds like he came up with firebrands.
I'm just saying if it came up,
we could work with it.
But the mission is just to get him to the same house.
What about Hot Rod?
And then use him to identify the new mutant leader,
take out all subversives,
and also hopefully take out the cell of free enterprisers
that are helping them escape.
Okay.
El Fuego. the cell of free enterprisers that are helping them escape. Okay. What the... El fuego.
It means the fire.
Yeah, I'm just not
seeing it.
Okay, that's fine.
Sykes is fine.
But it raises a good
point.
Perhaps we all need
mutant names.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Oh, okay.
My mutant thing is
Boingy Legs, if anyone's got any ideas.
Springo.
Or the gazelle.
Springo.
I like gazelle.
Gazelle.
All right, I will be gazelle.
You will be gazelle.
This is actually great.
By the way, Cray Culture Clubs, because they're so secret,
our membership try to hide each other.
Sykes may not even be his name.
A lot of mutants will use nicknames.
So this is actually a really smart thing to do. Will they be able to see our um um our screens out like no everything the reason
they're all harnesses and stuff is afterwards you put your jumpsuits back on over them even
your petted pedo masculine what what was it called it was the boingy legs your boingy legs even yeah you're just imagining cubing like now no double o looks like a regular watch does
keep the time but press this button and you become a pedophile and do try to bring it back in one
piece the pedipulatron the pedipulatron so even that um you've had to get a bulkier jumpsuit, but you're able to conceal them underneath your legs.
Yeah, so our stars, our real identities won't be flashing around?
No, actually, no.
As you left...
Well, you just can't see those.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Only troubleshooters can see them.
Oh, cool.
Okay, what do you want your nickname to be?
I guess, let me think.
I'm shooting bolts of electricity.
I guess something like...
Pikachu?
Pikachu. Writing down Pikachu. I'll take Pikachu. So electricity, I guess something like Voltron.
Pikachu.
I'll take Pikachu.
Now, if no one else is taking it, I'll take Firebrand if that's okay.
Okay, cool.
Great, Firebrand and Psych.
No, that's so confusing.
What about Stinkface?
What about the spider?
Redback? What about the spider? Red back?
What about anemone? Mortal anemone?
Daddy long legs? This is a hard word to say. Jellyfish.
Jellyfish is fine. Jellyfish is nice.
Alright, roll out, Autobots.
And he says that
and so Autobots helpfully go out of the way
revealing the exit to the PLC
as the four of you
start to follow the path.
Now, of course, if you want, this is a great opportunity
for you to send any messages that you want,
make contact with anybody that you need to send messages to.
Have these guys checked their rumours?
I've sent their rumours. Have you had a chance to
check my
email before? Was there anything? Yeah, no, no, nothing
for you.
As we're walking,
can I ask to be healed by Alex, please? Might I have one of those medkits, please? Well, I can certainly administer it to you. As we're walking, can I ask to be healed by Alex, please?
Might I have one of those medkits, please?
Well, I can certainly administer it to you.
Great, make a brain science check for me.
Me? Yep, every success that you make
is how many levels of healing are
administered to your
friend.
One.
One, so you heal, you go
an entire level. And actually, as a byproduct, your tingly hand sort of goes back to normal.
The other, unfortunately, no amount of healing.
My fingerprints are back.
No, no, no, no.
Your fingerprints are not back.
Your sense of feeling has gone back to your hand.
So you can use dexterous stuff again.
The other hand is still encased inside metal.
Anyone else?
Do you guys want to make contact?
I'll do a quick little chat if I could, Dave.
Oh, yes.
You're going to get some messages,
in which case I would ask everybody to leave.
I'm going to call the mutants.
Yep.
So you can blink in and Fred and Frasier.
But the reason you have two minders, by the way,
is that also your mutant leader has a head on the back of their head
and they have a complicated mirror arrangement on their neck
so that you can talk to both heads at once.
But it's a two-headed person.
Sure, sure, sure.
Oh, hello there.
Yes?
You sound different to last time.
Well, it's part of my mutation.
What, your voice changes?
No, every 24 hours or so.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's something in the water here in this sector.
The mutations are strange, but they're also volatile
What about you?
We wanted you to zero in on what your mutation was
I feel like I could
Spend moxie points to make people move their limbs
Oh
You're a puppeteer
It's a very rare mutation
I have some info I want to give you guys though
I'm about to deliver A scion by the name of Sykes.
You might know him as Sykes, but his insect code name is Firebrand.
And we're meant to be busting him out as part of our mission.
Sykes? Sykes was killed. He was killed in a mission two weeks ago.
That's the thing. He's not dead.
Busting him out?
Yeah, he was captured or something, and now he's a double agent, and I'm returning him to you guys.
You're taking a double agent back to a secret Scion safe house?
Well, that's what they've asked us to do. Now, here's a little thing. I've got a rocket launcher.
Do you want me to just kill this motherfucker?
No, no, no.
You can't kill Scion.
Scion is holding a high-priority asset for the Brotherhood.
What has he got?
You really shouldn't be knowing about this.
This is top-level stuff.
He's come into possession of something.
It's a black box with a strange symbol on it.
Okay.
He picks it up from a double agent working inside AlphaCom, a central processing.
Now, he's holding it in a safe location, somewhere in a safe house.
We haven't found out where.
You need to find out where that box is before anything happens to him.
You understand?
Okay.
You get your hands on that box.
You get it to us.
You might find yourself moving up in the Brotherhood.
And what do I get for doing that?
Well, we can get you Xavier implants.
I don't know what that is, but I want it.
Big bazongas.
You're going to get me huge mummy milk titties?
Oh my goodness.
Xavier implants.
We use them to enhance and give you a measure of control over your mutant powers. Essentially
it's free moxie that you get every fight
you can spend on using your powers. Damn.
I could use it to puppeteer my huge titties.
We have a grey market doctor who's
the only person in this sector who knows how to install
them. Alright, I'll get you your damn box
and I'll kill this man as well. Well, I didn't
wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
If you can get the box, you don't need to kill
him, but make sure he doesn't die without us getting the box.
Okay, but if he does die...
Well, that would be bad because he is your brother.
He's also a mutant, right?
No, but he's a traitor.
Well, that's a good point.
If you think that he's a traitor, you're sure that he's a traitor.
Look, we haven't had contact with him for almost two weeks.
I assumed he was dead, but if...
This is the Sykes I grew up with playing...
I mean, look, if you guys already thought he was dead,
it doesn't matter if I kill him, right?
But hear me when I say this.
I would be very surprised indeed if he turned.
So you think he's a triple agent, then?
Well, I don't know what to believe.
Also, he's a machine empath, you know what that is?
One of our most powerful weapons against friend computer. If we could get
a machine empath inside the central
core, we could maybe fix this
society. So you want me to...
Okay, okay. Don't kill him unless
you have to. He's important to the movement. Okay.
And, obviously, if you can
help the rest of the mutants escape,
we would consider that a personal plus.
Okay. They're your brothers, too. Don't forget that. Your brothers
and sisters. Alright, let's do it. Alright. We gotta go. We got mixed doubles tennis. We did really well in the tournament, by the way. Okay. They're your brothers too. Don't forget that. You're brothers and sisters. All right, let's do it.
We've got to go.
We've got mixed doubles tennis.
We did really well in the tournament, by the way.
Oh, yeah, thanks for asking.
Bye.
All right, everyone.
Don't worry, I wasn't talking to anyone, okay?
Okay.
I wasn't doing any secret stuff.
Nearly one second passed.
I looked at a bug, and then I stopped looking at a bug.
Circle of trust.
I was also looking at that bug.
It's us.
We trust in a friend computer
and they slide.
Hello.
In circles.
Did you?
I just heard a couple.
Did you trust in friend computer?
That's excellent.
Have a commendation.
It is a absolutely valueless,
but it will make you feel better tonight.
And suddenly,
where the trees and stars are,
you get a smiley face.
Oh, I feel better right now.
Thank you, Frank Computer.
Everybody is part of the circle of trust already.
The only thing they can do is to betray it.
Now, of course, I'm still here.
What's this circle of trust?
It's a circle of trust that we feel implicitly in the system that we live in,
which is under your benevolent control.
Sounds wonderful.
How's the mission going while I'm here?
Very good.
Very good.
Everything happening normal style.
Is there anything that I can do to help you,
my favorite team of troubleshooters?
Cool hats?
Cool hats?
I can work on...
You want cool hats?
Yeah.
Cool hats will be...
Let me work on that.
That's interesting.
I will dedicate some subroutines to coming up to an adequate solution for you.
Cool hats you want, cool hats you will have.
And it blinks out.
Great, so you're making your way to the mission
unless anybody else has any other messages.
They want to check their messages, do anything like that.
I might just check my messages.
All right.
Inbox zero.
Very quickly.
Alex is going to check her spam.
They're all immediately taking all of their shirts off.
Very, very strange.
The figure of Moira shows up,
and you notice straight away that her arm's in a sling,
and she's got bandages down the side of her face.
She looks filthy.
Oh, let me tell you.
A rough game of tennis, Moira.
You were there when I was attacked.
Ah, yes.
Oh, so I did as you asked.
I got the box and I gave it to the computer.
I know you did, and that was good.
Priority number one, complete.
Yes, and I can't fault you on that,
although I did say it would be better if you gave it to me,
but I know that wasn't possible because a building fell on you.
Exactly.
Okay?
Listen, our plan was to get an agent within AlphaCom to snatch it once you deliver it to the computer.
It seems that by the time they went to snatch it, another faction had.
Now, it's cost me not insignificant resources to find out what that faction is,
and it's the Scions.
They've got the box.
Scions.
The Scions?
Aren't they something that I've heard in this episode?
The mutant heathens.
The mutants have got our box.
Now, Intel is sketchy here,
but it may be at a safe house in Lime Tree Complex.
Do you know what that is?
That's where I'm being sent right now to complete one of my other missions.
Well, that is for Judas.
Her eyes perk right up. Tell me more.
Well, I've got to
deliver
Sykes to the mutants.
He's a double agent
for Alpha Complex.
Otherwise known as Firebrand.
The heathen who likes to smooch
computers. Oh, he. Otherwise known as Firebrand. The heathen who likes to smooch computers.
Oh, some sort of...
I thought...
I suspected as much, yes.
Right, well, listen here.
Your priority number one is to retrieve the box from the Scion.
Word on the street is that they're using it as currency
with the Free Enterprise for their extraction.
Yes.
And the Free Enterprise are another group, aren't they?
Look, I'll get you up to speed,
but really I'd like you to do some extracurricular reading.
Yes, the Free Enterprise are a group of,
well, largely unaffiliated thugs, frankly.
They're mercenaries for hire.
Hypercapitalists.
They believe in a currency
that should be able to pass from hand to hand,
something called the Three Markets,
which is an almost religious-like belief for them.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
They've made a currency out of hacked gift cards
that most of the other great culture clubs use
to trade between the culture clubs.
And they will do things for the highest bidder,
in this case, extract mutants out of a home that is no longer safe.
So listen, should the trade-off happen
between the Scion and the free market,
and the box changes hands, it's not impossible for us to get it back, but it's a lot harder.
Got it. So get it before they give it to the free enterprise.
If you will.
And yes, that's priority number one.
Usually I just deal with one task at a time, but is there anything else you need me to do?
Have a lovely day.
Thank you so much.
I was being sarcastic. Goodbye.
Blink and the screen goes dead.
Why do I follow her?
Alright, you make your
way down towards
Lime 3 Tango, a hab complex
at the very back of sector
CYN. This is in sort of
the poorer, more run-down
areas of the sector. There's spotty
power over here and the computer is in the
process of moving people out so a lot of these
help complexes are abandoned
technically for repairs which I'm
sure are coming any day now and it seems
for month cycles nothing has occurred.
As you do as well, all of you receive a
priority message as your achievements
for the mission are uploaded from the computer
which I'm sending to all of you now. The achievements range from Receive a priority message as your achievements for the mission are uploaded from the computer,
which I'm sending to all of you now.
The achievements range from help a Red Clearance citizen realize their full potential,
find an unrealized application for approved experimental equipment,
de-escalate a tense situation without violence,
escalate a calm but seditious situation with violence, and for 125 125 credits retrieve and lodge a pre-reckoning
artifact from a grey culture club so again these are ways that all of you can earn extra credits
you've been emailed they've all gone to your tablets and they've all gone to your actual
email addresses as you find yourselves outside ham pap Lime 3 Tango,
and you realize as you do that your outfits look wildly out of place.
Although there are a bunch of sort of rough-looking operatives,
mostly reds and oranges, a couple of infrareds as well,
loitering down around the central lifts of this abandoned Hab Complex,
none of them are wearing weird punk gear.
They're all basically just wearing their uniforms.
They look at you as you look at them,
and you realize that you are here.
You are deep inside the belly of the beast,
near an outpost of Scion,
those despicable mutants that wish harm to Friend Computer.
Your mission is simple.
Your mission could not be clearer.
Infiltrate, exfiltrate, assassinate,
and find whatever you
can to stop Scion
in their tracks. Such is the way of troubleshooters
and such is the way of
Alpha Complex
ba-da-ba-da, ba-da-bing,
ba-da-boo.
The cast of this
week's episode of OK Computer is Alex
Lee, Simon Greiner, Michael Hing,
and Tom Carty. Our Dungeon Master and friend Computer is Dave Harlan. of this week's episode of okay computer is alex lee simon griner michael hing and tom carding our
dungeon master and friend computer is dave harman the mpc voices provided by ben jenkins and music
provided by tom carding shakira khan is our producer and the podcast is edited mixed and
mastered by me you guessed okay computer is brought to you by contributors to the dragon
friends patreon who get early access to ad-free episodes as well as other exclusive content for just five dollars a month until next time i'd just like to point out at this juncture that the
dragon friends are reading ferreira rochers so if you do hear some unauthorized crinkling not
related to the story it is the metallic packets of ferreira rochers. I can fix this. Oh, and take these Ferreira Rochers with you as well.
Oh, yum.
Red-flavored Ferreira Rochers.
What about?